#lady asha hate for life

[viivdle]

cardan "Just come home." greenbriar

[cruelprincae]

little cardan deserved better.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Hello!! I’m curious, how did Magnifico become accepted as King again once Myrah saved him? Is Amaya also still Queen or somewhere else other than Rosas? What do the people think of King Magnifico and Queen Myrah at first?

Hi anon!

That is very simple to answer. It includes a bit of a spoiler but since SO many have been asking me about it, I will reveal it now, before it will be readable in my book. So, for those who do not want to hear that spoiler .... ignore this post 🤫

..... last chance!

.....

.....

You're still reading? Good! Then grab yourself some tea!

Magnifico had been in a tricky situation. After the possession he also found himself locked in a timeless realm, where he ended up because of the curse. That means, there was day and night and shifting of seasons but he himself was frozen in time. He didn't age nor could he die. Myrah was able to break through because she's his soulmate. After both realized that they were soulmates and confessed their feeling for each other, the curse tied to the book awoke again and threatened to destroy Rosas for good. That combined with the fact that the demon who had been trapped in the book wasn't happy about letting Magnifico go at all. So in order to save Rosas and Myrah, and to break the curse once and for all, Magnifico destroyed the book by stabbing the gem, sending the demon back to hell and sacrificing his life.

Normally, that would have been it for Magnifico, but God sent him back to earth because his purpose wasn't fulfilled yet. And because there is Myrah. So Magnifico returned.

There is also a bit more that happens in between, concerning Magnifico's past. But that stays a secret for now 😉

Myrah had been the one that explained the whole truth to all of Rosas, forcing the citizens to realize and face their selfishness and hypocrisy. Besides that, Myrah was already loved by the people. Because of her beauty, they called her the jewel of Rosas.

Anyway, Magnifico, believe it or not, first made peace with Asha and her friends (who had been the very first ones to literally beg for forgiveness. Well ... one more dramatically than the other if you get what I mean) Lots of tears and deep long conversations. They helped bring the king to the center incognito and had Myrah once again explain the case to the people. Then, Magnifico revealed himself. At first, he feared the people would freak out or still hate on him, but on the contray, they cheered. The truth and the past events had been an eye opener for many and so he received not only cheers but many ... many ... MANY apologies. However, when it comes to trust .... that has been greatly shattered. Magnifico will never be able to fully trust anyone from Rosas' citizens ever again. Trust is like a vase. Once broken, you can glue it back together, but it will never be the same again.

So the people of Rosas had no trouble knowing who their rightful king was and letting him back to his throne.

Amaya stepped down and took her former status as Lady back on. Making Rowan (her soulmate) Lord.

After Magnifico and Myrah married, Amaya and Rowan became their deputies. They live in the palace still and step in whenever Mags and Myrah take a break or go on a vacation.

And now to your last question.

Well, at first, there were some surprised reactions, but it was pretty obvious quickly that they were soulmates. And then everyone was more than happy for the couple. After the marriage, the people of Rosas built them together as statues close to the port. You can say that they are great fans of the royal couple 😂 truly. Once you come to Rosas, you can get all kinds of merch of them.

I hope this answered a few questions for now.

[likecanyoujustnot]

Cardan’s letters pov

Part 4: ridiculous

A/n: currently typing this on my iPad that is so old it’s lost 10 percent in 10 minutes. But I won’t write much i want to know if my Hawke-is-actually-casteel theory is correct. Anyway. Enjoy

Part 3. Part 5

36 days.

36 days and no Jude. I’d never not seen her for this long, even when we hated each other.

I was getting desperate. And desperate people do foolish things.

Like go to their families graves.

They were buried outside, in the woods.

Dain.

Elowyn.

Caelia.

Rhyia.

Eldred.

I stared at the stones that marked their final resting place. So simple, the prince, princess and high king, reduced to a small headstone that would be overgrown in a few decades.

I may have despised my brother and father, but no one wants to have their entire family massacred.

I don’t know what happened to Dain’s mother’s. Balekin probably gave her body to her sister, or other unspeakables.

After Jude had been exiled, I went to the courtyard where she had killed him. Said to the guards to do with him as they wished. Dig a shallow grave, feed him to some rabid creature, dump him in the ocean, sell his organs, I really didn’t care.

I wouldn’t be king if it weren’t for him.

I’d be enjoying a life of zero responsibilities and be able to drink and lust over Jude to my hearts content.

Balekin wouldn’t have killed me at the coup, he didn’t know of Oak’s lineage, and thought I was the only one able to crown him.

But I was grateful for Jude taking me away. Who knows how long I would’ve stayed under that table for.

Plus it had ended with us kissing, which was a massive bonus.

What I wouldn’t give for one more kiss from her lips. One more skeptical look as I did something she disapproved of. One more second, so I could tell her what was truely in my heart.

The bomb had been right when she’d said I loved Jude.

I’d loved Jude since we’d gone to school together. I’d seen her beauty, so different to the perfectness of the other women I’d been with, more rugged, raw. Seen the way she didn’t let her inability to do what the fae could hold her back, she was fierce when standing up for herself, when showing the fae- showing me- that she was not one to be underestimated.

And I’d taken all of it, the beauty, the ferociousness, the strength, the moments she let her guard down, for granted.

If she ever came back, I would tell her how I felt, how I loved her, how my every thought was consumed with her.

I placed the flowers on the graves of my sisters. I missed them. Even if I didn’t see them that often and they liked to pretend I didn’t exist.

I spat on my father’s grave as I left the clearing, not even acknowledging Dain’s.

“Mother.”

I stood in the doorway to the kitchen, watching her rummage through the cupboards for food. Multiple family reunions in one day. Lucky me.

She made a sound of recognition.

“What are you doing?”

“You’re not very smart are you? It’s quite clear I’m looking for food.”

Lady Asha was many things, a sympathetic mother was not one.

“There are rumours around court.”

I folded my arms and lent against the door. “That’s not new, they always talk.”

She looks at me and there is a cruel smile on her face. One I recognise as being so similar to my own. “Yes but now there are the most scandalous stories about you and your dear seneschal.” I raise a brow and she continues. “They’re saying you and her were involved in a physical relationship.” I keep my face blank. “Some state you stole her from Locke, and in desperation he married her sister. Others say you exiled her because she’s pregnant with your child, and you would rather abandon her than father a half-human child.”

I rolled my eyes. “She’s not pregnant, I exiled her for killing my brother.”

“That won’t stop them.”

She straightened and walked over to the bench. I noted the absence of food in her hands. “I’m surprised you haven’t brought her back. Might be something you and your father have in common. Abandon your lovers.”

“I am nothing like my father. And this conversation is wasting my time.”

She smirked as I left.

I don’t know why I continued to deal with her presence. She didn’t care about me when she ignored me as a child, a baby who had to find his own way to survive.

If I ever had children I would make sure they never went a day without knowing I loved and cared for them.

And of course that line of thinking brought me back to Jude.

Did she want kids?

We’d both had thoroughly messed up childhoods. Her parents had been murdered by the man she now considered her father. My father probably would have been glad if I’d just died.

We had Oak if she didn’t want them.

I sighed and sat back on my bed. I’d spent so long in here the past month. Wishing for nothing more than Jude to be beside me.

But she wasn’t.

So I would do the only thing I could think of.

I wrote another letter.

Jude,

I love you, and I miss you so much it hurts.

No, the first time I told her I loved her would be in person. Not over a freaking letter.

Jude,

Not even responding to my missives is ridiculous and beneath you and I hate it.

Cardan

I stared at the words.

At the words I didn’t say.

Tags:

@magicstrengthandcourage

[carcrash-white]

I like Victarion chapters because the subtle symbolism in the rest of the book becomes overblown and blatant. It's as if GRRM is trying to tell his own character how stupid he is.

I like Victarion chapters because he honestly thinks he's better than the slavers.

I like Victarion chapters because despite sailing Essos his entire life he doesnt know who the Dothraki are. They're simply to far inland for him to care.

I like Victarion chapters because he's more concerned with how many ships he has than the fact his arm is now a smoking tumor.

I like Victarion chapters because of Victarion's relationship with the Dusky Women. She's his forth wife, he tells her everything, he doesn't even attempt to find out who she is. Is her mind empty? Is she anything anymore? Is her body just an empty vessel for Euron?

I like how Euron is warging the Dusky Women so he can get fucked by Victarion.

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to realise the dusky women is poisoning him.

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to realise Moqorro is using him to get to Slavers bay, nothing more.

I like Victarion chapters because he's the first POV character to understand and utilise blood magic, but he's too stupid to use it for anything but sailing ships.

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to realise that he can just turn the Iron Fleet around and declare war on Euron. Who are they going to follow, the captian they've known for years or the weirdo with blue lips?

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to just swallow his pride and rule with Asha.

I like Victarion chapters because he's stupid enough to think he can outsmart Euron.

I like how Victarion hates the monkeys so much. Long after they leave his ships he's still seething over them.

I hope Victarion becomes the beloved King of Meereen after he smashes the siege and puts all of the Great Families to the sword.

I hope the Dusky Lady kills Victarion Greyjoy in his sleep.

I like how Victarion is what Ironborn society sees as the ideal man, and he is therefore a walking indictment of the Ironborn.

I like how by the end of ADWD even Moroquo, the death cultist who worships fire, is fearful Victarion.

I like Victarion chapters because he's the one character you can't make excuses for. He's not an anti hero or even an anti villain. He's a stereotype of a viking who's too stupid to realise that being a terrible warlord is making him feel terrible.

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

My thoughts on Trolls 3 & that Adam Sandler Lizard movie Leo (and also my thoughts on Wish)

So there's a lot to unpack here; let's start with the most basic, Trolls 3! It's adorable, nothing bad to say about it, good movie to watch with your family! For once I don't have a lot to say about a DreamWorks film, other than it was so cute and funny. I still prefer the first two but this was great and I loved the songs. I thought the 2D scene was a little bit weird my uncle thought the same. Didn't care for the villains' design but Velvet and Veneer were funny! I like how they had colorful lipsticks tho haha XD anyway, I recommend Trolls 3, see it in theaters if you still have time.

As for that Adam Sandler Lizard movie, it was great! It's called "Leo" and it's on Netflix. It kind of gets heavy when Leo finds out that he one year left to live and when he talks to the kids, it's amazing. I love how they tried to show different types of kids and different struggles they had. One girl talked to much, the other girl whose parents were going through a divorce, there was also a boy who was insecure about his voice and another one who was insecure about body hair, and I even liked how they didn't make the rich blonde popular girl be mean, they even showed her struggle too! There was also this one boy whose mom didn't allow him to play outside and be a kid and he had this drone follow him around all the time, and she even made him wear a hazmat suit inside his house which to me, was the most depressing. The part with the teacher, was on and off. I hated her for most of the movie but she even had redemption. The teacher at the beginning was really nice but it was the old lady teacher, idk man I didn't like her for most of the movie but at the end she's okay. I still think characters get redemption way too easily sometimes. Just my opinion... btw the humor was really good! It had that 90's Nickelodeon type of humor (like from CatDog or Rocko's modern life or Angry Beavers). Like, there were a few dirty jokes and just a few fourth wall breaks. Also, the movie had a good message. I wasn't expecting it to be a musical but it was. Let's just say that the songs weren't as good as Under the Boardwalk, but they weren't bad songs. Honestly, I even think the songs in Wish were better but Leo is over all a better movie and has a way better message.

About my opinion on Wish now, I don't recommend you watch it in theaters, unless you're a really wealthy person who can afford to see movies all the time. I mean, in my opinion it's a waste of time and money. It's better to watch it in the comfort of your own home on a free website, don't even watch it on Disney plus. There's a few reasons why but here's one of them https://www.instagram.com/reel/ but the other reason is because I don't think Disney deserves to make a lot of money form this. Part of me feels bad because I LOVE the character design, and the diversity. I feel bad for black girls, they can't get at least one modern Disney princess who from a good movie. Tiana's movie is old and she ends up marrying the dumb hunk prince when she just wanted to be a restaurant owner, Ariel is racebent but she's pretty cool even tho there's a war over her being black, and Asha's a sweet character but her movie doesn't make sense. Like, Wish's plot was all over the place; at first you were kind of on the king's side but they did make him out to be evil enough that you were on Asha's side. The hardest thing for me to understand was that at first she wanted the king to grant everyone's Wish because she wanted her grandpa to be happy since he was 100 years old, then she wanted to get her grandpa and mom's wishes back from the king, and then she wanted everyone to be happy but I was so lost... the only time I laughed was that one song and it showed the bear and the deer, and they called the deer "Bambi" as a joke, but really, it looked like Boog and Elliot from the Open Season franchise. The dancing chickens was pretty funny too, it reminded me of the Flip flop and fly scene in Chicken Run. Honestly, Wish isn't the worst Disney movie ever, but it's not that good. If you're planning on seeing it, know what you're in for. The story was incredibly boring as well, and the background characters barely had any personality or lines but were still cute (I like Asha's friends, especially the plus size girl in the red and also the girl with the yellow dress and blue thing in her hair). And like, the best thing about this movie had to be the character designs. Not only did it show race and skin color diversity, but it showed body type diversity as well! Some shows and movies just show skin color diversity and make the plus size characters the joke (like **cough cough** Total Drama show) but this movie actually have TRUE diversity! It's a shame that the story's a disaster because the designs were a 10/10... as for the story, it's a 4.5/10.

We've come to a conclusion. Watch Leo on Netflix and if you don't have Netflix, you can use kisscartoon, actvid, or whatever other free movie website you have. If you want to watch Wish I don't recommend seeing it in theaters but I'm not stopping you. (Please click the link to the video I sent). Also, Wish is better than most of the old Disney movies, don't go comparing it to peter pan or something, we know that movie's outdated and way worse than Wish. If you're a Trolls fan or just have any interest in seeing Trolls 3, GO SEE TROLLS 3 in theaters! I recommend it! And also, if you have any thoughts, whether you agree or not, just let me know. Even if you have different opinions than me, just let me know!

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "The Odd Ness Monster" Episode Followup, Part 2

The process of elimination of the weird-ass calendar seasons continues, below the break!

"And autumn."

"Or fall, as Orli would call it."

Behold: the first moment in the episode to make me frown wider than a mile. Stolen joke from "Trials and Tubulations" which did it much better, mixed in with a ham-fisted Orli mention that includes the entire damn pig.

Onom, I love you, but don't. Just...don't.

I mean...to be fair, Captain O could lock them in here if she wanted to be a sadistic lil' shit.

But she's not, so she won't.

FUCK YOU AND THE TIME CARDS YOU RODE IN ON, EDITOR.

That aside, this episode is gonna fuck with the timeline so much and I'm sure every OG crew member fucking knows it.

And shockingly, they went five entire months without Captain O noticing them. Which, considering how often she leaves her office, is some bullshit.

Oprah? Sure. I can believe they'd avoid Oprah for five months.

Captain O? Not on your never life.

"Onom, Orwell, it's June the 1st. Isn't there somewhere you need to be?"

"...At the...be-"

"I am armed and loaded with an anchor that has killed more men than in World War II. Don't make me have your heads as part of my own raffle. Get down there and check on the monster."

I do like how it cuts to them back down in the multi-sub basement mid-groan.

The Rockington Club Smasher? Either the Guardian of the Rocks has another relative, or it's the first caveman villain in Odd Squad's history.

...Okay, well, fuck. I wanted it to be a caveman villain. But my whims are too unrealistic doo-bee-doo.

"How dare you! It's the second best-selling Odd Ness Monster book!"

How much you wanna bet that information he left out prevented it from becoming the top best-selling Odd Ness Monster book?

Man's whining about being stuck down here until June 30th, but put it in perspective...is it better or worse than being stuck down there for an entire year?

I mean, personally I'd say it's better, but y'know...

I actually forgot I passed by a tweet that mentioned this wizard, which was posted by their actor. I also forgot I was howling at the name "Destructo McBaddington" because it's either the world's silliest name made up by a child or the name of a D&D player with whimsy.

It's so stupid but so charming! I love it!

Methinks Destructo could take a few tips from The Shadow when it comes to cool stuff done with capes.

Wrapping yourself up in it like you're cold ain't it.

elderly lady

has a biscuit that turns people into frogs

So this is a witch, and they just don't want to namedrop "witch", perhaps because it carries negative connotations or because it sounds like "bitch" too much.

Mm. Okay. Got it. Fuck you because I'm pretty sure witches have been mentioned before in PBS Kids Halloween episodes.

I hear it's truncated to just Exposition: The Book. Title character limit, y'know.

Okay, if there's one thing I don't like about this episode, it's how absolutely ham-fisted Orli is shoved in here. Clearly either Asha was getting paid per namedrop, or there was a gun to Paul's head in the form of "mention Orli at least once or you're fired."

Could mention Ozzie to mix things up, but no...no.

There are two kinds of Main Character Syndrome.

Self-inflicted, and forced into.

"...and everyone knows the Odd Ness Monster doesn't work weekends."

I will choose to ignore this bullshit contrivance because it's one bad seed in a flourishing garden.

Doesn't mean I can't hate it and wish for its death, though.

Orwell's got about as stellar of a time management skill as Owen, without the frequent breaks.

*deep inhale*

No. Based on how this season has gone thus far? No. I can't say anything about the Lorem ipsum text. I can't. It speaks for itself.

I'm not keen on calling this a meme that has made its way into Odd Squad...but hearing Captain O saying this is fucking sending me.

That's why you put Creature Care agents on the job, ding-dong. That's what their department does. It ain't much, but it's honest work for 'em.

Orwell remarking that it was a hard job is once again reminding me of Owen. Truly, he's following in the footsteps of the greats.

ALL OF THAT...TO PLAY "TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR"?????? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, bro...dear God...I'm sorry, but that is the most ridiculous shit any episode in this season has ever built up to. It's simple, it's stupid, but I'm cackling all the same.

See, this raises some questions, though. How does she eat and drink? How is she living this long? If she's immortal, fine, but exactly how long does she live for?

All of these questions and more will be answered when Seren divorces her husband, which is never!

Omar had to throw in his own two cents at the end, just for funsies. Just because he can. Just because it's a silent plea to Paul to take him to the doctor. Just because he was offered a hefty check if he put 'em in.

At least Orli meandered over to the swivel chair before collapsing. Orwell didn't even make it to the bed that is five steps away from him. (And looks like a bed in a jail cell, but that's besides the point.)

And your credits for this episode. We even get a voice credit for the jackalope this time around, which I guess we can contribute to all its other appearances in the season as well.

(Though...who, exactly, is Thrug?)

----------------------------

Overall...yeah, y'all were right, this was a good episode. I wasn't sold on Onom and Orwell as a pairing in "Miss Information", but I like the dynamic they put on display here. It's just a silly goofy ahh fun time with two agents who looked at Owen and went "lol okay we can do that." With Captain O as backup for good measure.

Also, Destructo McBaddington. Best bitch witch in the west. Just don't pour water on her.

Next up on the list is "Oddtober the Thirteenth", which is the last episode in this week's batch. For some reason, "Agent Overhill's Last Day" isn't lumped in with it, so we'll have to wait for that one. Here's hoping both are just as good as this episode was.

Seren out!

[undeniablespice]

Alright, what’s up with the waves come.

😈 that one is the lannyfic, actually! a canon-compliant story all about alannys harlaw from girlhood to adwd, exploring the kind of person she is and diving deep into her tenure as lady greyjoy and queen of the isles. it’s focused on her relationships with motherhood, wifehood, and most importantly herself, and it’s going to be an excuse for me to dump all of my iron islands lore and myths in the background of a story about a woman we know really nothing about, except that she raised her daughter to be bold. featuring things like: coming of age, That Queer Farwynd Blood, pederasty (sorry rodrik), balon greyjoy being an actual human man instead of a withered caricature (ironbros hate this), attempted murder-suicide, and the inherently romantic feminine nature of a cruel and bountiful ocean as the source of all human life

the title comes from a laura marling song called What He Wrote. the full lyric is And the waves came and stole him and took him to war, which is how alannys loses most of the men in her life one way or another

i’ve tentatively planned six chapters: Lanny of Harlaw, The Seastone Bride, Lady Greyjoy, Queen of Salt and Rock, Mother Deep, and The Ghost in Ten Towers

excerpt below from the very beginning of greyjoy’s rebellion, featuring my strongest and most delusional of wifeguy balon thoughts:

“Take heart, wife,” Balon rumbles, removing the thick bronze torc from around her neck. His hands are strong and cold against her skin, gooseflesh prickling her bare throat. “You are to be a queen.”

From within his great sealskin robe he produces a new necklace, a long chain of gold links and black pearls that he winds around her throat and closes with a kiss on the top of her head.

He steps back to admire his work, dark eyes devouring her head to toe and lingering on the new trophy shining against her collarbones. His mouth twitches into something that could almost be a smile, and Alannys nearly weeps at the sight of it. How long has it been since he last smiled? When Asha took up throwing axes? When he gave Maron his first sword?

It is not happiness that moves Balon’s face. It is pride, satisfaction, lust. His fingers find their way back to her, and soon her dress is pooling on the floor, Balon draping himself over her nakedness and keeping one hand wrapped around her nape as he takes her.

He likes to see her wearing his prizes. Alannys can only imagine how hungry he is for the sight of her in a crown.

[foxglovethicket]

Seven Hundred Letters

To the High Queen of Elfhame,

Above me is the same silvery moon that shines down on you. Looking at it makes me recall the glint of your blade pressed against my throat and other romantic moments.

Summary:

Lady Asha can’t burn the letters the High King never sends.

Cardan’s POV from the end of The Wicked King through Queen of Nothing, ft. kingly pining and dozens of discarded letters shoved to the back of his drawer.

Chapters: 10/10

Read on AO3

Chapter 1

“And today I will dispense justice. Jude Duarte, do you deny you murdered Prince Balekin, Ambassador to the Undersea and brother to the High King?”

As I speak, I try to seem the composed, haughty king I am meant to be, but my eyes are alight with excitement. I know Jude sees it, because her voice comes out careful and uncertain in a way I have never heard from her.

Still, she lifts her chin. “I do not deny that we had a duel and that I won it.”

Such careful words from a mortal girl who grew up surrounded by warped speech of the Folk.

I pull out the silence, stretching it until it thins and I can feel the Folk around me begin to shift in excitement and anticipation.

“Hear my judgement.” My words echo obscenely in the hollow air of the brugh. I can feel Jude’s fawn brown eyes searching my face, trying to anticipate what I am going to say, trying to get her footing. It takes everything in me to keep my voice to a lazy, regal drawl and hold back a smile as I damn her. “I exile Jude Duarte to the mortal world. Until and unless she is pardoned by the crown, let her not step one foot in Faerie or forfeit her life.”

I stare at her, waiting for her to get it. Surely, any second, she’ll realize my careful wording. But she only stares back at me, long enough that I start to feel uncertain. The Folk around us are eating our duel up with beetle eyes and sharp teeth.

“Of course I can,” I say, slowly, confused. Why isn’t she calling my bluff?

“But I’m the Queen of Faerie!” she shouts, and I let out a breath. Finally. I wait for her to go on to pardon herself, to laugh, to acknowledge my cleverness.

But that’s all she says.

After a beat, the brugh erupts into laughter. I’m still staring at her, puzzled, when her eyes turn red and rainy. When I finally begin to laugh along with them, it is more in disbelief than anything. Come on, Jude. Play with me.

After a beat, the brugh erupts into laughter. I’m still staring at her, puzzled, when her eyes turn red and rainy. When I finally begin to laugh along with them, it is more in disbelief than anything. Come on, Jude. Play with me.

After a beat, the brugh erupts into laughter. I’m still staring at her, puzzled, when her eyes turn red and rainy. When I finally begin to laugh along with them, it is more in disbelief than anything. Come on, Jude. Play with me.

After a beat, the brugh erupts into laughter. I’m still staring at her, puzzled, when her eyes turn red and rainy. When I finally begin to laugh along with them, it is more in disbelief than anything. Come on, Jude. Play with me.

After a beat, the brugh erupts into laughter. I’m still staring at her, puzzled, when her eyes turn red and rainy. When I finally begin to laugh along with them, it is more in disbelief than anything. Come on, Jude. Play with me.

She doesn’t. She keeps staring at me, full of fury and hurt, as a pair of knights drag her down from her horse and I start to panic. It wasn’t supposed to get this far.

“Deny, it then!” she screams at me. “Deny me!”

I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, so I say nothing. Some part of me is still waiting for her to pull out her trump card. Or at least try to fight back, to push me and pull my hair and hurt me for how I’m hurting her. I think my uncertain smile is still twisted on my face as she glares at me with all the hate she’s ever held for me, that I’ve ever deserved, and more of it.

I am still confused when Sir Rannoch takes her away. When the mocking laughter of the Folk fades from my ears as I stare out at the new island I’ve drawn from the sea. When I start to think that maybe this is Jude’s way of punishing me after all—leaving me when I so desperately wanted her to stay.

***

My first day without Jude is unbearable.

She plagues my thoughts, as always, but it’s worse now, because I thought for one beautiful minute that she was mine, that she would stay. For one minute, she was my queen, and I was enough, and I wouldn’t have to do this alone. But she left. Like everyone does.

Locke suggests a revel, to celebrate getting rid of the girl of dirt, as he calls her. He congratulates me on my cleverness and says things like finally, and thorn out of your foot, and now you can be a proper king without all of her diplomatic fussiness in the way. Why did you keep her around so long, anyway? Taryn keeps her eyes down, but I think they are red and puffy.

I wave my hand dismissively at his proposition and he throws one anyway. I have to go, for appearances, but the mischievous eyes of my subjects burn my skin like iron where they land.

I miss Jude.

I drink. A lot.

Somewhere between then and now, I stumble down the halls, hopefully heading towards my rooms, when a very displeased Lilliver finds me and leads me… somewhere. What part of the castle am I in, anyway?

Her eyes are hard and her arms are stiff when she opens my door for me and practically shoves me inside. I fall onto the packed earth floor by the foot of my bed with a grunt of pain. The Bomb doesn’t move to help me up. I deserve worse.

“Goodnight, Your Majesty.” She makes to leave.

“Lilliver,” I mumble into the floor. She pauses. “Why didn’t she come back?”

“Your Majesty?”

“Jude,” I say. “Why didn’t she come back?” The earth is wet beneath my face, for some reason.

The Bomb pads over to me so silently that when she tugs my arm to get me up, I flinch in surprise. “You exiled her, that’s why,” she says shortly, practically throwing me onto my bed.

“But she was supposed to come back. She was—” I retch, and Lilliver takes a hasty step back. “She could have come back. But she hates me. And now she never will.”

The Bomb throws a metal bucket at my feet with a clang. “Sleep well, Your Majesty.”

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[blazerwyvernmaster]

@fe-oc-week

October 11: Backstories

Huh. So, considering that these guys have tragic backstories, I...don't know how I'd do tragedy.

Eh, I'll think of something.

Anyway!

The backstories are long sooo... check below the cut!

🔥Backstory of the Beauty🔥

Asha was born as the bastard child of Derrick Hadean Bouveile and a lady in waiting. She was treated as one of the noble children for a while, though the circumstances of her birth had to be kept a complete secret. Initially, when asked about Asha's sudden appearance, it was stated that the lady in waiting simply found themselves a suitor, who had died recently. Despite this flimsy excuse, it worked surprisingly well, and Asha and her mother were treated rather well.

Asha's mother got her interested in studying the arcane and magical relics. In particular, a special tome known as Vulcestia. Legend has it that a powerful sage who created a tome filled with magical spells capable of burning away demonic spirits. Asha was fascinated by this tale and aspired to be just like that sage, which further inspired her study of magic.

One day, the circumstances of her birth were found out. Derrick's wife was angry at him for this scandal. To save face and appease his wife, Derrick threw Asha and her mother onto the streets, leaving them both out in the cold.

Asha's mother made it her mission to provide for her daughter no matter what it took on the streets, even when she was young. But unfortunately, she fell ill. And nobody could help her. Asha unfortunately lost her dear mother and was taken in by an orphanage, which was good because she hadn’t really eaten good food in a long while.

Asha fell into a bit of a depression, as losing your loved one tends to do to you. As an escape, she flung herself towards religion. The teachings of faith gave her hope when she didn't have any.

But soon, she decided that it wouldn't be enough to have hope. She had to do something with that hope. She decided that she would honor her mother's life in the only way she could think of. Studying magical artifacts and finding Vulcestia.

⚡️Backstory of the Brawn⚡️

Dinadan was born a commoner, living a peaceful yet hard life in a city. Though things changed when mother married a nobleman named Makoya, who elevated them to noble status.

Dinadan was forced to leave their old lives behind.

At first, it was pleasant. Sure he missed his freedoms, but how could this not be amazing? A few days ago, they were surrounded by poverty, but now…now they could live in luxury and peace.

Unfortunately, nobility wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

First of all, his family was almost constantly bothered and mocked because of their common birth. Whether it be something about Wendy’s naivety, Mebh’s muscles and burns from her profession as a blacksmith, or Dinadan’s vitiligo, they always had some sort of insult to throw at them.

Secondly, nobles, despite clearly disliking all of them, acted as if they were friends. It felt like everyone had a knife behind their back, waiting for a moment to stab someone else in the back; not even just Dinadan’s family, EVERYONE felt that. And there were so many irritating rules that, as a commoner, he had no way of knowing.

The nobleman he hated the most was a man named Leron Von Buchanan, but not at first. See, Wendy fell in love with him and the two got themselves married a few months after they became nobles. Dinadan saw him as…well not a friend, but at the very least not so much of an annoyance as the others, especially since he wasn’t the heir to house Buchanan, so this wasn’t really a political marriage. At least he didn’t think it was.

Dinadan figured there was no reason to distrust him too much. That didn't last.

Leron proved to be an untrustworthy, unreliable and irritating foe in his eyes. The noble and his family enjoyed taunting and toying with the entire family,slowly tarnishing their names.

Dinadan hated them all, especially Leron. And he made that fact very clear. When rumors of the man abusing his sister turned out to be true, Dinadan punched him square in the face.

Not wanting to further Scorn his family's name, Dinadan left. He became a mercenary. After briefly working with a band of what were basically brigands, led by a man named Rusc, he was hired by Asha as her personality bodyguard.

[cruelprincae]

"Cardan was not an easy child to love, and he's only grown worse with time. He would scream to be held, and then once picked up he would bite and kick his way out of my arms. He would find a game and obsess over it until it was conquered, and then burn all of the pieces. Once you're no longer a challenge, he will despise you."

[death-and-other-myths]

The Queen of Nothing Deadass Book Review

Okay look, this book has everything. Our main character is an unhinged monster. Her husband was raised by a cat or something. There's snakes. GOD DAMN I LOVE THIS BOOK.

This is an unhinged book review of The Queen of Nothing By Holly Black.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Well the 3rd and final book in this series starts out with a bang, with the prologue painting Cardan’s tragic backstory as a baby taken to meet his father by his shitty, neglectful mom. Baefin, the royal astronomer shows up and decides to ruin everyone’s day by saying, “Hey, the stars say this kid is going to topple your kingdom and you’ll never have another child after him.” — so right out of the gate, everyone hates Cardan. His siblings play with him like a puppy. His Mom is the flakiest asshole. She uses a… cat..?? As a wet nurse?? Like WOW LADY. Both CPS and PETA would like a word with you.

There’s a super sad part when Cardan is older, and Dane is messing with him. They are shooting a walnut off of a mortal’s head, who happens to be Val Moren’s lover. Val Moren was the old High King’s sineschel, and his heart was broken for the rest of his life after his boyfriend got shot with an arrow by these big dumb faerie princes.

Dane offers to switch arrows, so if Cardan messes up and hits the man, everyone will think Dane did it. Cardan says fine, but chickens out when it comes time to shoot. So Dane shoots Cardan’s arrow into the guy’s chest, and tells everyone that Cardan did it. So as punishment, they sent Asha into jail and cultivated Cardan’s reputation of being a heartless asshole. It’s just shit all around. GOD THIS POOR BABY I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVER THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER. HE IS THE SWEET, MESSED UP PRODUCT OF HIS AWFUL FAMILY. AUGH.

Meanwhile, in the mortal world…

Jude is watching Oak play war games with the other 5 year olds and he keeps accidentally glamoring them (so he appears invisible until he attacks). When all of his friends leave, she sneaks up on him and you know, almost chokes him out. Like sisters do!

He’s all upset with her and she’s like “I’m just trying to show you that fighting is real, and it’s serious, and it’s not a game!” and he says he never ever wants to be king, which makes this reader happy.

At night, Jude makes money by doing odd jobs for the local faeries. They apparently can live in the mortal world, usually because they’re in hiding or exile or just because they want to. She meets up with one of the Roach’s old friends, who is a goat man that gives her a job to go talk to a lady named Grima Mog and tell her to quit murdering people.

Grima Mog is part of the “Court of Teeth”, and is a warrior who was banished for one reason or another and is causing a scene in the real world. Jude goes over, tells her to cut it out, and Grima Mog challenges her to a duel on the roof. Jude wins, because she is still a savage badass. And in return, Grima Mog tells her the latest hot goss: That King Cardan is going to be overthrown before the next full moon.

Jude is like cool I don’t care about him. Yep. Totally don’t care about that loser who is also my husband. Fuck him. Ima ride the bus home covered in blood. So she does that.

And when she gets home, Heather is there trying to pluck up the courage to see Vivi again. But moreover, TARYN IS THERE in her flowy pretty dress and Jude is like “Get the fuck out.” (still covered in blood by the way).

Taryn explains that she MURDERED LOCKE. Like not even in self defense or anything. He pissed her off and slept around, so she stabbed him with a LETTER OPENER and THREW HIM IN THE OCEAN so his body washed up a few miles downshore all chewed up, and now she has to go to Faerie court and be glamored to tell the truth. So she’s asking Jude if she’ll pose as her and go in her stead.

Jude can’t really resist the opportunity to get back into Faerie land and slap her husband, so she agrees. Also Taryn drops the bomb that she’s pregnant too. So ... damn. I guess being bloodthirsty maniacs runs in this family. Like whoa.

Alright, Jude goes back to Elfhame pretending to be Taryn. She spends a brief night in Locke’s house where she finds drugs just… everywhere. Gold stuff is smeared on the couches and the servants bring her a faerie apple with dinner, which Jude finds hella weird since that stuff is like heroin to humans. She’s starting to realize Taryn isn’t as innocent as she thought. As if the whole “murdering her husband” thing wasn’t her first clue.

She walks into the courtroom and gives a curtsey, and Cardon goes “…Taryn?”

She’s like “Yes m’lord tis I, sweet lil’ innocent Taryn. Look at me all in my pretty little dress being demure and cooperative.”

Cardon smirks and is like “okaaayyyy. Begin the questioning.”

Jude is standing there thinking “Cardon you dumb fuck I’ve tricked you. You’ve played right into the palm of my hand, you treacherous scum.”

And we as the reader realize it’s pretty fucking obvious that he knows its her. And that he looks elated to see her.

He “glamours” her to only be able to tell the truth and asks her if she killed Locke. Jude says no. So Cardon turns to Nicasia and his Mom (who are also there) and is like “Welp, she didn’t do it. Guess we can all go drink and party and forget this ever happened now. Like we did when Valerian died. Remember how no one seemed to care about that?”

But Jude has to take it a step further and be like “I think the sea had something to do with it.”

Nicasia is pissed. “WHY would the sea start shit if we have a treaty with the land? Also Locke was my friend! If anyone killed him it was probably your horrifying sister. She loves murdering people. She does it like, all the time.”

Lady Asha chimes in like “It’s court gossip that Locke was fooling around with both you and your sister. Maybe she killed him to get revenge because she loved him.”

And Jude (as Taryn) says, “My sister only loves one person, and it’s not Locke.”

Cardan is unable to stifle his glee.

“And she wants that person dead.”

Cardan bristles.

Nicasia says they can’t trust anything “Taryn” says because she could be wearing a charm to resist glamour (implying Jude should strip in front of the court). But Jude can’t do that without revealing herself, since she’s all scarred up and Cardan knows every single one of those scars.

Luckily, our boy is on to this so he’s like “How about I personally inspect her for charms in my quarters. Alone. Away from here. This is totally normal, right?” And the court is like “Right!” So they’re walking to his room. And a servant runs into her with a tray, and slips her a knife and is like “Don’t worry miss Taryn. Your father is coming to save you.” And Jude is like What? Shit. What??

But then she’s alone in Cardan’s room and he is immediately like “Oh my god how are you? Did you get my letters? I wrote you every day but you never replied. Hi.”

And Jude is FLABBERGASTED “You knew it was me?!”

“From the second you walked into the room?? You’re my wife? God, you’re cute.”

She’s still pissed at him though for tricking her, which to us is very obvious to us that it was for her own protection, but Jude thinks he’s awful. She shows him the knife someone gave her and for a moment he’s like… wait… shit… is she going to stab me? She kind of likes making him think she will. But she tells him Maddock is up to something, then there’s a huge explosion. And instead of stabbing Cardan, she goes back to her warrior ways like “Stay here!” Even though he’s shouting at her not to.

Jude takes like 2 steps outside the door and gets knocked out with Faerie chloroform by some of Maddock’s knights.

She wakes up in a carriage with Oriana being carted off to Maddock’s stronghold. And everyone is like “Sorry Taryn! It was just easier to get you out of there if you were… you know… unconscious for 3 days.” (Wtf faerie people??)

So now Jude is STUCK pretending to be Taryn in Maddock’s snowy army headquarters near the Court of Teeth territory. She has to hang out and pretend to like Oriana, her prim and boring stepmother, and convince everyone she’s Taryn or Maddock will literally kill her.

During her time in camp, she meets Grimsen the master forge guy, who likes compliments and young girls (which is hella gross). She flirts with him to learn about his magic weapons and learns he’s making a crazy powerful sword for Maddock to use to take Cardan’s crown.

Jude has an awkward conversation with Maddock where he’s like “I never much cared for Jude. God she’s so annoying. You’re cool though.” He also tells her that when he saved her from the palace, half his knights got murdered in the process. He said the doors shrunk and trapped his men inside, then vines came down from the ceiling and strangled them. Only the ones running with her made it out alive and everyone else got savagely choked to death. So like… Cardan is a badass and can still control the land around him. And clearly he does not take kindly to people kidnapping his wife.

Jude decides she needs to run away before anyone catches on to her, and on her way out, she stops to inspect this cave set far away from the camp. In it, she finds THE GHOST who betrayed her like a little fucking asshole just because his buddy Dane got killed. He tells her his whole sad story. That Dane was like, his friend and ally. He even gave Dane his “true name” (which is a big real. If anyone knows a faerie’s true name, they can command them to do anything). And then somehow Locke got his true name from Dane. And was commanding Ghost to do all these terrible things. Then Locke gave him to Maddock. So Jude is like SIIGHHH God damnit okay I’m getting out of here and taking you with me. I just need to get the key from Grimsen.

She goes BACK to camp, where Oriana is waiting for her like a huge dick. And she’s all like “You’re not Taryn, are you?” But thank god she doesn’t rat her out. Jude tells her why she was masquerading as Taryn, which Oriana totally understands (everyone in their family hated Locke) and the only reason she’s here is because Maddock FAERIE CHLOROFORMED HER.

Oriana agrees to write Vivi to come get Jude if Jude agrees to leave and never fucking come back to Faerie. Jude, being a lying liar, is like “yeah! Totes!”

So Jude goes to bed and plans on waking up before dawn and stealing the key from Grimsen to grab the Ghost and run. But she gets a hand thrown over her mouth in her sleep and elbows her assailant hard. Before she can STAB THEM, the Roach is laughing his ass off like “Jude, come on. It’s us.” And I nearly screamed and fell off the treadmill when she realizes that it’s CARDAN who has his hand over her mouth.

YAYYY!!! Cardan needs more screen time. I was so sad when Jude got kidnapped like god damnit. The high king is there in regular-people clothes. No crown. No gold eyeliner. He tells her that he knew where she was because he went to visit Vivi in the human world, which Jude cannot even picture and neither than I.

She’s like “Wtf did he even WEAR?” She tries to picture him sitting on their beat up couch next to Oak’s half eaten Lucky Charms. So apparently Vivi, Taryn, AND HEATHER are waiting for them in the forest. They bullied their way into the rescue operation by refusing to tell the high king where Jude was unless they could come.

Jude, difficult as usual, is like “Neat. You can’t rescue me yet. I need to free the Ghost from his torture cave first.”

Cardan is like “Can you FOR ONCE just let someone RESCUE you without being DIFFICULT?”

She’s like “No. Help me get this key from Grimsen.”

And he says “Okay.” (Whispers: “I love you so much”)

So the Roach, Jude, and Cardan sneak into Grimsen’s forge to get the key. Jude totally doesn’t notice how good Cardan is at sneaking around, nor how good he looks in those pants.

Before they left, the Roach told Cardan he could come on the dangerous mission if he promised to leave if they got discovered. Cardan is like Oh my god FIIIINE why does everyone make me promise thiiiings. Stupid fucking promise magic.

He also made a promise to Jude that if she returned with him to Elfhame, and told him what she needs to tell him, he’ll un-exile her. So Jude is like HOT DAMN YES.

They break into the forge, get the key, and immediately trip a booby trap. Some darts fly out of the wall and Cardan instinctively protects Jude with his cloak that is basically bulletproof. They look at each other as if they’re surprised at this, because they are having a little fight where they can’t figure out who betrayed who, if at all. GOD THESE KIDS ARE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM.

Well the romantic moment gets ruined because the Roach is down with a dart. Cardan carries him and Jude is like “BRB I GOTTA TELL MY SISTERS TO LEAVE or they’ll get caught” (The knights are scrambling now in response to the alarm). Cardan, who is honor-bound to return to Elfhame is like “Fine. Fuck. Fine. Damnit.” And leaves his woman, who totally does NOT go to her sisters, but runs to the cave to get Locke. AND IN THE CAVE, SHE FINDS MADDOCK WAITING FOR HER.

She’s like “When did you figure out it was me?” and he says “Later than I would have liked.” — apparently it was the way she looked at the BOATS on the MAP in his tent that tipped him off, which is kind of a slight to Taryn more than anything lol

Jude refuses to surrender, and knowing all she has is a dagger, she runs off into the snowy woods and does a halfway decent job of defending herself, but ultimately gets stabbed in the stomach. Maddock is kind of surprised at this too, and he even seems like he’s going to spare her life until an ARROW flies out of nowhere and into his chest. Vivi, Taryn, and GRIMA MOG (not Heather) show up and threaten him. So they let him retreat back to his army.

Jude is like “Ya’ll I don’t feel so good.” And collapses, asking Taryn to stitch her side. While she’s on the ground, she remembers that she is a queen and tries to heal herself with the land… however one does that… but it totally works because it heals up enough. And when she stands up there are flowers everywhere, because that’s a fun side effect of being royal.

Maddock said he sent the Ghost after Cardan, so Jude leaves Grima Mog to protect her sisters and rushes off to the palace to stop “Garret” (his real name!) before he can kill Cardon.

She climbs up in the rafters, which is the Ghost’s favorite killing place, and is watching Cardan and everyone below when the Bomb climbs up in the rafters too, and AIMS AT JUDE. Jude realizes that Maddock tricked her, and sent her there to look like SHE is the one trying to kill Cardan. So she dodges the Bomb’s arrow and FALLS straight onto the banquet table.

There’s this cute part where Jude croaks “I lost your cloak.”

And Cardan is like “You’re a fucking filthy mortal liar.” In front of everyone, which stings. Jude thinks he believes she was trying to assassinate him too. We all know it’s cause he’s pissed she keeps putting herself in danger after promising she won’t.

The court is demanding her death, because they love dinner and a show, and Cardan says “DON’T TOUCH HER. That’s my wife.”

Jude passes out. Wakes up in Cardan’s bed with him being super sweet and tending to her. Passes out some more. Wakes up naked and gross so she takes a bath. Sees her sisters, who are super happy she is alive (I love the sisters, even stupid Taryn).

After they leave, Cardan arrives, which is sweet. Then the Bomb shows up with a medical tray, and says to him “you should leave.”

And he’s like “I’m not leaving. This is my room. And she is MY wife!”

Bomb: “I know, you keep telling EVERYONE. But I need to take our her stitches and you probably don’t want to see that.”

Jude goes “Maybe he wants to stay and watch me scream.”

And Cardan says “Maybe I do. Maybe one day you’ll do that for me.” And touches her head and LEAVES. AHHHHHH!!!!!

Jude gets her stitches out. Later, Cardan comes to fetch her because the Living Council wants to talk to her. But they take a detour to the rose garden for these two stupid idiots to work out their issues. Jude is like “I’M STILL PISSED THAT YOU EXILED ME.”

Cardan: “I wrote you letters?? Every day?? The contents of which were BEGGING YOU TO COME HOME. Also? I very explicitly said that you were banished until pardoned by the crown. You are also the crown. You could have pardoned yourself and come back any time you wanted.”

Jude slaps him lol. Smears his cute gold shit he wears around his cheekbones.

SHE IS PISSED. And again. They are so dumb. But I love them.

Cardan explains that he never thought she was capable of breaking? Or being sad? Or being defeated? In his eyes she’s like this immortal warrior demon that he wants to make love to all day. So he thought he was proposing a fun riddle for her to work out. Like Jude would show up any day now like “Hah! Good trick to make Orla think you were an ally. Let’s conquer the world, babe.” — instead Jude fell into a DEEP depression and ate fish sticks for a few months, all the while Cardan’s shitty MOM was keeping his letters from reaching her.

Jude feels embarrassed and foolish and in typical Jude fashion, does not handle this well.

She goes off on a tangent about how she’s not an immortal warrior demon, she’s SCARED all the time. Scared of this world and of powerlessness and of CARDAN. It’s a cute exchange and sweet things are said, but none of which are explicit. Will you idiots shut up and kiss already??? GAWD.

Jude goes and talks to Lady Asha who is languishing in her bed over the trauma of watching HER fall off the rafters. Jude basically hears this woman talk shit about her son who “was difficult to love” and sasses her something fierce, then leaves.

A knight comes and finds Jude and tells her that Nicasia is in the throne room with a bunch of soldiers. When Jude gets there, Cardan is holding her hand and speaking closely with her (OH SNAP) - but nothing weird is going on. They’re just friends and he’s comforting her because MADDOCK SHOT HER MOM WITH SOME KIND OF MAGIC BULLET. And she’s not dead but is in a coma. So Nicasia has to leave and make sure no one tries to unthrone her mom.

Jude puts two and two together that it was the Ghost that probably shot the sea queen. He’s out there running around being all crazy under Maddock’s control. Jude is interrupted from her council meeting by a messenger saying Taryn needs to meet with her immediately in Hallow Hall (which is weird).

So she gets up to leave but Cardan is like “I’ll come too.” and he looks at her so innocently (but also knowing this annoys her) and off they go TOGETHER in a carriage. There, they find Taryn in Balekin’s gross dungeon with the GHOST who she has trapped in a hole. He tells them it was HE who shot Orla, and we also learn the Ghost’s true name (Larkin Gorm Garrett).

The Ghost tries to kill Cardan, but Taryn uses his name to say “Hey, cut it out. You’re free of any previous orders.” and he’s just like “AUGH THANK GOD.” – Jude hands the Ghost aka Garrett over to the Bomb’s custody, and on the carriage ride back, Cardan is being adorable and asking Taryn about the human world. She tells him about slushies and gummy bears. You know, basic human stuff.

Cardan escorts the Ghost to the Bomb, but never comes to bed that night. Which makes Jude sad.

The next day, Randalin bursts in on Jude, and is like “Your dad is such a dick! And he’s being a dick because you’re the queen. Step down and make this easier on all of us.”

And Jude says “No, fuck you.”

And Cardan comes in and in the most elegant, royal way possible, drags his advisor into another room to threaten his life for insulting Jude. It’s very cute.

But Ranndal makes a good point. The lower courts are starting to assemble at the palace because word on the street is that Maddock is going to challenge Cardan to a duel for the crown, and they are either here to show their support or usher in a new king. It’s all very shaky right now.

But in true Faerie fashion, they’re like “Let’s throw a party to celebrate everyone coming into town!”

Jude wears a gold dress with like… battle-esque looking leather shoulder pads and chain-mail lookin accents. She looks like a badass, and this is made even better when Cardan gives a toast at the party that is like “Welcome everyone. To you I offer my honey and wine and to any traitors or oath breakers, I offer you my queen’s hospitality instead. The hospitality of knives.” and everyone is like hahahaha cheers (Jude included)-- meanwhile she’s sipping her cup like “Hah yes it’s true, I will murder you all without batting a eyelash.”

Heather and Vivi are also there with Oak and having a good time considering they have some stupid deal where when they go back to the human world, they’re going to break up and Vivi will erase Heather’s memory. It’s even sadder because Heather seems to be regretting it and Vivi seems to be all about it. Jude is like… when I’m done with this whole “murdering my cat dad before he can murder my king husband” thing, this is next on the list.

OKAY.

OKAY….

So like… after the party…

Jude and Cardan go back to their bedroom, and this is the cutest fucking scene. They start making out and it’s getting super steamy up in there– Cardan picks her up against the wall, and the second she shows any sort of hesitation, he’s like “Okay we don’t have to.” (So sweet) But Jude is like no no, I’m cool. One sec. And she steps into her closet to compose herself, because she hates how inexperienced she is and how he’s an expert.

So this badass bitch gets completely naked, and steps out of the closet just to see the look on his face. Then she kneels and asks if this is what he imagined she’d be like when he thought about her obsessively in Hallow Hall. He’s like um yes. Exactly this. But with more groveling.

“So what did I do?” she asks.

“I imagined you telling me to do with you whatever I liked.” - he says, kind of mortified and scared of her. Like this is such a cute vulnerable moment from him where she has his heart in the palm of her hand. And yay Jude for discovering her sexy self, which like every other personality trait of hers, is also terrifying. Cardan’s into it though. And they have very sexy sex on the floor, which is fucking adorable and sweet and I love it so much, and I also know this means something TERRIBLE is about to happen.

(This was in Chapter 21 by the way!)

In Chapter 22, Maddock finally shows up. He wants to come parlay as per traditional fru fru tradition. The Bomb is like “How about this? How about I shoot him with an arrow?” and Cardan’s like “Nah, I’m not a coward. But I’m not going to duel him either.” – So everyone is just hanging out gathering for this like spectators. Even Vivi, Heather, and Oak who REALLY shouldn’t be there and I’m surprised everyone is okay with this. While they’re getting ready to have the parlay, Jude and Cardan have a little moment.

Before they go out there, Cardan comes out and says that he LOVES HER, and walks away all cool before she can reply, which drives her nuts. Jude realizes she’s loved him for a long time. She loved him before they got married. AUGH so SWEET.

Maddock comes in there like “Duel me. Lookit my big sword made by this master smith. I’ll even let you use it.”

Cardan’s like “I’m not going to fucking duel you, dude. And you better put that fucking sword down in my throne room, kay thanks.”

“Want me to put it down? Okay.” And he DRIVES the sword into the ground, which causes an earthquake so strong it makes the throne cut in half. Like this hundnreddsss year old throne that Cardan’s family has been protecting for generations, just destroyed. God Maddock is an ASSHAT.

Then Maddock starts spewing his shit like “Do you think your people actually care about you? Like your stupid murdered family ever cared about you? The only reason you accepted the crown was because you so desperately wanted to be accepted by your family. Your subjects don’t even like you. My army is super loyal. You suck. DUEL ME OR I KILL THE SEA QUEEN with my magic bullet that moves if I tell it to.”

Cardan has this interesting introspective moment and says “A king is not his crown. You’re right that loyalty or love shouldn’t be forced. But Elfhame shouldn’t be won or lost on a wager, either. You fuckin weird bloodthirsty old man.”

Cardan CRACKS THE BLOOD CROWN IN HALF and is like “The people shouldn’t swear loyalty to a crown. They should support the king they want to support. Your choice is your own.”

And boom, democracy is born in Elfhaim.

The folk are bowing their heads and nodding, totally on board the Cardan train. But then Grimsen interrupts everything by FREAKING OUT about his precious crown and how upset he is that it’s broken.

Jude remembers that everything Grimsen makes is cursed, just as Cardan’s eyes turn black, and the roses over the throne turn black, and his eyes start fucking BLEEDING BLACK and before she knows it, her adoring husband from the night before TURNS INTO A GIANT FUCKING BLACK SNAKE!!!!! *Pterodactyl scream* NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Grimsen says “It will poison the land. No true love’s kiss will stop it. No riddle will fix it. Only death.”

Maddock jumps on the opportunity and wants to kill the snake. Jude is like the FUCK you will. Her army seizes Maddock and his little posse. Snake Cardan bites and kills Grimsen, which kind of solidifies that his brain isn’t in there, because Cardan is very much against murdering people. It’s just pure chaos up in the throne room. There’s a cute part where Oak tries to save his mother with a little toy sword. Everyone runs away and the snake gets stabbed a little by Maddock but is okay, and it curls around the throne as Jude is dragged out the room.

Babygirl has herself a much-deserved panic attack. Grima Mog is like “Get a hold of yourself” and Jude says “I fucking will. I’m going to stand up. I’m going to be okay in a minute.” Grima is like “I know you will be.”

I like Grima Mog. I like her even though she’s like a bloodthirsty cannibal. What is it with this book and making me really like murderers?????

Alright so Jude immediately swings into badass bitch mode. Calls the Bomb. Tells her to go get intel on who out there is plotting her assassination and who is vying for the crown. She says not to ask questions. Murder anyone who looks like they’re trying to murder her. The Bomb is like yep. Roger that.  Calls her sister in. Tells Taryn she’s good at decorating things (like Locke’s house of debauchery). Asks her to make up a room to act as a throne room where she can talk to people and be scary and intimidating. Taryn is like yep. On it. She tells Grima Mog she is the new army general, because she doesn’t like the guy Cardan chose.

Jude gets all set up in her makeshift throne room since the real one is currently being guarded by a huge fucking snake. She sees the Living Council in there and starts planning on what to do about Maddock and his stupid fucking army and all of the courts that are currently splintering off trying to figure out who to be loyal to. She calls in Baphen and tells him to consult the stars for a way to cure Cardan. The Living Council is like “we should just kill the snake” and Jude is like “We’re not fucking killing the snake. Focus on Maddock.” So they talk that out and rally the troops.

Eventually the snake gets out lol it gets through the crack in the floor, and then runs around the land for a little bit doing snake stuff.

Wherever it touches rots and turns black. And people have gotten it in their heads that whoever slays the snake gets to be king, so it keeps getting attacked and killing indiscriminately. But eventually, it comes BACK because apparently the throne room is its den now. It curls around the broken throne and it’s snowing in there. The weather outside is also nuts and thunderstormy and hailing.

After her meeting, Jude enters the throne room and tries her hand at talking to the snake. She tries to see if there’s any recognition in its golden eyes, but there doesn’t seem to be. She tries to call on the land to heal him, but nothing happens. There’s a sweet part where she says out loud “Take my crown. Take my power. Take whatever you need, just heal him. Please.” — and even though the land or magic doesn’t answer her, I hope somewhere in there, Cardan heard her.

Okay so the prophecy said… that if Cardan ever came into the crown, the throne and the crown would be destroyed. But the prophecy also said that only if his blood is spilled, would a truly perfect leader emerge. I THINK this means that Jude is eventually going to have to slay the snake.

Jude hangs out in the snowy throne room with the snake for like HOURS until the Bomb comes. The snake has gotten used to Jude’s presence and doesn’t seem to want to attack her, so that’s something. It’s still impossible to tell if Cardan is in there though. I mean it doesn’t react to his name.

Anyway the Bomb says “Hi. I killed a ton of people that were plotting against you. You wanna come out of the snake room now?” And Jude says “Okay.” Just as Grima Mog comes back with word that Maddock wants to talk.

So they move her whole complicated throne set up outside because Jude is livid and doesn’t want these people anywhere near her fucking home and her cursed husband. I don’t know if I mentioned it earlier, but the people from the Court of Teeth are weird. They’re like ice faeries and they have this little girl who is their queen, but she’s just a puppet for her parents who keep her on a literal bridle. When they get there, the bridle is gone, but her skin is all scarred from where it was. And she’s in these horrible chains that look just as painful. Maddock shows up with that lovely family and isn’t wearing any armor.

He’s like “Hey. I never wanted to kill you. I actually quite like you. You wanna strike a deal? I’ll give you this bridle so you can control your snake husband. It was made by Grimsen and gives you complete control over whoever you want to restrain. That way you can remain queen and make sure your snake stops running around rotting the earth and killing anyone who tries to pierce its apparently impervious scales.”

Jude is like “You threw a bunch of men at it and figured out it’s unstoppable, didn’t you? What are you up to?”

“Make Oak marry this tiny icy abused child and you get the bridle.” Maddock says.

AND TO MY SHOCK AND HORROR, Jude is like “Okay.” — well she agrees to accepting the bridle on the terms that the war should be put on hold and it’s better for everyone if there isn’t a deadly toxic snake running around.

She doesn’t agree to the marriage. She agrees to have a bridling… event? Where she is going to attempt to bridle the snake, and if she wins then yay. If she fails and it kills her, then the armies are all gathered and can duke it out. She thinks Maddock is trying to rule through her the way she ruled through Cardan. Oh gosh I hope she’s up to  something and not actually considering putting that thing on the snake. That night, she throws a wadded up paper into the ocean that says “If you ever loved him, help me.”

Jude and the Bomb have a sweet convo and Jude goes to try to help the Roach, who is still poisoned. When Jude sees him, she’s horrified to find that he’s not just sleeping, he’s having like… nightmares. She tries to heal him, but the earth magic won’t come. The Ghost, who is part of the gang again (yay!) tells her not to force it, just let it come. AND IT DOES! The roach is back and confesses his love to the Bomb and it’s fucking adorable.

Jude takes the bridle to that old hag lady that once tried to trick Cardan into marrying her daughter. Now she’s good I guess haha. The hag tells her that if she followed the instructions Lord Nell or whatever his name is gave her, and tied her hair around the bridle, then she would have been bound to the snake as well. Basically, it was a trick that would have trapped both Jude and snake Cardan into servitude. Thank god she found this out.

Jude also visits Heather in the library who is researching snake-themed faerie tales looking for a clue. Heather tells her that she struck a deal with Vivi that when they go back to the human world, her memories will be erased. But Vivi will have to meet her again and win back her love. But do it properly this time and be honest about the faerie shit from the get-go. And if Heather falls in love with her despite that, she’ll get all her memories back. That’s super freaking sweet I love them.

There’s like a banquet before the snake bridling.

And Jude is doing her best to be a badass queen and make speeches, but she’s so nervous. She gets through it though. Her and Nicasia have this super sweet moment (after Kaye, Roiben’s lady punches her) where Nicasia is like “I know you’re a bloodthirsty monster who is only using Cardan for his power, but please save him. I beg of you.”

And Jude actually CRIES with her and says “Tell me the riddle I must solve. Tell me what to slay. What to sacrifice. And it’s done. I’ll do anything to free him. I promise you.” And they just stand there, two enemies, crying together and realizing how much they love this poor cursed snake boi.

Taryn and Vivi find a chest with some badass silver armor made for a woman, so Jude wears that to the big “snake bridling event” that is happening out in the woods somewhere.

The snake is out. Doing it’s thing. Turning the land to shit. The armies are gathered on either side, and everyone is watching Jude and waiting to see what happens. Will she bridle the snake or will she be eaten? It’s growing bigger too, so by now, it could swallow a car.

Jude has some internal monologue… where she actually wonders if bridling him is the right thing to do. She has no idea how to break the curse. This way, Cardan wouldn’t have to die. He’d be trapped as a poisonous snake forever, but at least he’d be by her side. But she also remembers what Cardan said before he got cursed. That no one should be forced to swear their love or allegiance. That’s the kind of thing you should decide for yourself. And she remembers that Cardan said something along the lines of “I was on my way to becoming Balekin. Becoming a monster. If I ever go down that path again, I want it to be you that ends me.” — SO SHE CUTS OFF THE SNAKE’S HEAD.

HE DEAD. There is blood EVERYWHERE.

And the second she does this, fighting breaks out. It’s just a bloodbath all around while Jude is in shock. Maddock’s army gets defeated because Nicasia shows up with the sea. But instead of trying to kill Jude, Maddock comes to help her up.

He tells her “You’ve already won. Look.” And turns her around to the snake where a bright golden light has emerged. And out of it steps naked-ass Cardan covered in blood and looking regal as hell.

“Only when his blood is shed will a great ruler emerge”

BOOM. He calls for the fighting to end and Jude runs and hugs him. They hang on to each other and it’s so sweet. THE BEST REUNION.

Someone literally is like “Welcome back, King! Here, you want this cloak?”

And Cardan goes “Nah. I haven’t worn clothes in days.”

And literally rides buck ass naked in the carriage, covered in blood. HAH. Like. Yeah nudity is a thing in Faerie world but alrighty. Here we go. Cardan is back and he’s not messing around.

Everybody gets a bath. The general mood is SO HAPPY and celebratory. There’s a big ole banquet where Cardan and Jude slip away to the pretty glowing mushroom room behind the throne (which he fixed with his magic and split into 2 chairs). They finally have a moment alone, and Jude blurts out “I love you.”

He’s like “You don’t have to say that out of pity.” — which breaks my heart. That he STILL thinks she hates him so much that she seriously never will love him. And he’s CONTENT with just being with her even if it’s just for power.

But Jude launches into this awesome, fumbling speech about how she liked him ever since they went out together during the revelrie, and he helped her learn about each court and how to win them over. She says being around him is fun. And walks through their whole history together to help him understand that despite her being a cold, unfeeling monster, she loves him to pieces.

And they kiss. And it’s fucking adorable.

Jude also asks him what it was like being a snake and he says it was hella weird. He definitely had an animal brain. And was filled with fear and strife and a feral instinct to kill indiscriminately. But he says, he knew Jude. That’s why he was calm when she came and sat with him. He always knew her. (Awww!!!)

The next day they have a formal coronation. Apparently 2 people have never ruled together. It’s always a king or queen who has a bunch of consorts. But they get the ceremony where the court gets asked if they accept their king and queen, and everyone says yes because Cardan is awesome and Jude is scary. But they like scary. Then they get to give out BOONS to all of the people that were loyal or traitorous.

Grima Mog gets to keep the earth-shattering sword and continue to be general. Taryn gets cleared of all charges even though she totally fucking murdered her husband. The ice princess with the bridle scars gets freed and her parents get put in her custody. And she gives a creepy shark-toothed grin that makes Jude think maybe her parents were keeping her in chains for a reason. But that’s their problem!

Maddock gets brought in and Jude sentences him to live in the mortal world for the rest of his days, and to forget the name he knows (she’s talking about the Ghost’s name). I like that her and Maddock totally come to this agreement. He’s like “Yeah, okay I lost. You’re absolutely a badass. I hate losing but I’m also pretty proud”. I think he was really sad when he thought he killed her. So this is a better punishment than getting executed for sure. Oriana decides to go with him and Oak is excited because he loves the mortal world and now his parents are going to live there too. YAY!

I love how this book ends. It ends with Jude and Cardan flying home with Vivi and Oak to the real world. And they find Cardan some normal clothes (a tshirt over his black pants) and they have a cute little party at Vivi’s apartment.

Heather is there and puts up a sign that is like “Congrats Newlyweds!” And says “Vivi has told me some wild things about ya’ll!” Jude just hugs her. They also got them a cake with little gummy snakes sprinkled on it. And Oak takes them to pick up pizza.

Heather also got everyone paper crowns, and there’s this cute part where Cardan tilts his paper crown at an angle, like he used to wear the Blood Crown and it makes Jude laugh. The book ends with them toasting to a new future, and pizza, and friends, and Cardan says “To scheming great schemes.”

I love that this is where we leave them. In casual real world clothes wearing paper crowns and eating gummy snakes.

Boy, I loved this book. I love the world building. I love the slow burn romance. The sexy times. I love that Holly Black makes me like and cheer for this cold hard bitch Jude. I love that Cardan, who at one time was SO NOT LIKEABLE it was CRAZY became one of my favorite characters in fiction.

I loved when that heel turn happened, when he was a prisoner of the spies, and was so cute and charming. We all fell in love with him at the same time Jude did.

Then we spent 2 books watching Jude be a complete idiot and be the last one in the world to realize how much he loved her. And how much she loved him. She loved him more than power, which was her single solitary goal this whole time.

This mortal girl overtook a bunch of magical immortals and it was completely believable and fun and baffling. Damn I can see why Holly Black is so highly regarded. That was SO GOOD. I am going to need a few days to digest this.

I just keep thinking of them all happy and celebrating together over pizza and paper crowns. EEEEE!!!

Deadass Rating: 9.5/10

[judesnightfell]

I’m finding myself crying my life away over these Letters once again…May Lady Asha be burned down to ash…I hate that woman more than anything I’ve ever hated in my entire existence 💀🗡️

********* QUEEN OF NOTHING SPOILERS********

Hellooo, below, are the Letters from Cardan from the Barnes and Noble exclusive. Sorry for making y’all cry, but hope you enjoy! 🥺

Happy reading!

[cowboylikechar]

it's me, hi! i'm charlotte (but you can call me char), you're local argumentative, antithetical, dream girl.. this acc has existed for well over a year but i big time forgot about it until now!! i've seen a bunch of people have these pinned posts so here's my version of that :))

she/her, australian, 18, bisexual, fan of any aspect of the arts

evermore sun, folklore moon, speak now rising

... but actually taurus sun, cancer moon, cancer rising

currently listening to: long live by taylor swift, you outta know by alanis morissette and the aces (and the archer by t swizz, always)

currently watching: everything now

currently reading: the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky (reread)

favourites!!

artists: taylor swift, gracie abrams, sabrina carpenter, niall horan, one direction, olivia rodrigo, phoebe bridgers, chappell roan, renee rapp, lizzy mcalpine, boygenius, noah kahan, sydney rose, maisie peters, and currently waiting for asha banks to release something

movies/shows: little women (2019), tangled, easy a, the perks of being a wallflower, 10 things i hate about you, barbie, bottoms, lady bird, to all the boys series, hunger games series, mamma mia, what a girl wants, notting hill, matilda, new girl, gilmore girls, the artful dodger, friends, b99, the summer i turned pretty, derry girls, bridgerton + queen charlotte, the queen's gambit, heartbreak high, anne with an e

books: gone girl, agggtm series, the bell jar, the invisible life of addie larue, girl in pieces, normal people, circe

mkay i think that's it,, let's be friends :)

[justdaphne]

Reading the Queen of Nothing was basically like:

jude probably listened to all too well

the way she deals with heartbreak is literally going on suicide missions

oh my god she actlly-

AS SHE SHOULD

i swear i hate cardan sm rn there has to be a reason tho but FUCK CARDAN

oh my god there she is

TARYN HAS THE AUDACITY TO COME AND ASK FOR JUDE’S HELP

..taryn redemption ig she killed locke

SHE KILLED LOCKE OMG

didnt know she had it in her

you definitely arent the same sis

Jude you wont help her right

THIS KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. TARYN IS PREGNANT WHAT

JUDE I LOVE YOU SM WDJRGTJEJWKXKSKFMTNRKSKA

..cardan. he’s hot tho BUT UGH but mmh

what is ur game cardan

fuck

WHAT LETTERS? HE KNEW IT WAS HER-

ofc madoc had to ruin this little reunion

didnt madoc raise her how does he not know fr-

when oriana and madoc finds out oh shes in deep shit

what

huh

okay- OH.

OH NO

hellow roach

CARDANWNWNDETKRKWXEKA

oh?

OH?? HE- HE WAS PROTECTING HER FROM THE- WITH HIS CLOAK.

MADOC DID NOTTTT

HE DID NOT

HE SWORE TO PROTECT HER

mhm okay

TARYN FINALLY KNOWS OH I WOULD BE SO SMUG RN IF I WERE JUDE

“you dirty mortal liar” i-

“DO NOT TOUCH HER..” “SHE IS MY WIFE..” WHAHAHDJENGNEK WHAT

OH NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE SHE SAID SHE WOULDNT GET HURT ANDBWJDJJGKYEKSJZ

OHMYGODDEWJJSSJFYHTJE

they need to talk

it was. a joke.-

okay listen i feel like jude figured it out maybe idk she might have but brushed it off becoz she didnt know if she was the true queen or not so this is valid.

OH MY GOD A CONFESSION-?

“FEARING FOR YOU”

okay okay scheming timeeeee

i totally understand this plan rn

liliverr x roach

VIVIIIIIII

“oh idk maybe he’d like to hear me scream” “i would. and perhaps one day i will” HOLD UP. HOLD UP. HOLD UPPP. *rereads that sentence* HOLLL UP- HE DIDNT NOTTT *screams*

totally understanding rn

MMHMMM I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOINGG

“MOCK ME ALL YOU LIKE. WHATEVER I IMAGINED THEN. NOW IT IS I WHO BEG AND GROVEL FOR A KIND WORD FROM YOUR LIP”

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“BY YOU I AM FOREVER UNDONE” HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY HEART. MY HEART CANNOT

“I MISSED YOU. IN THE MORTAL WORLD WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY ENEMY I STILL MISSED YOU”

“MY SWEET NEMESIS, HOW GLAD AM I YOU HAVE RETURNED” HE👏IS👏WRITTEN👏BY👏A👏WOMAN

OH MY GOD A DRAMATIC LOVE CONFESSSSQKDJEGYT

what

things were going so well

he’s a snake-

mm ok

uh

yea im not okay

YEA YOU SHOULDVE TOLD HIM EARLIER

oh noooo

MIMICKING CARDANNNNN

uhuh

WOT.

Nicasia’s pov of pre tcp cardan’s crush: she knew of course

HE GOT THE DRESS FOR HER?? FOR NO REASON???? CARDAN DID THAT???? OH FML IM SO SOFT RN

OFC JUDE WANTS CARDAN BACK

-

hello madoc.

yeah u didnt know she was alive the same way u thought she was taryn

I- YOURE GONNA

OH-

OH NO

OHH

OH OKAY

WAIT WHATS THAT

OMGGG *cue the slow motion* OH THE TEARS

THE RELIEF

HE WAS GRIPPING HER AS THOUGH SHE WAS THE ONLY SOLID THING UGWHSHWJFJEJGMTMWKSKAKWNRNGBCCGKDKW

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

mhm okay

“I LOVE YOU” SHE FINALLY SAID IT EJDKWKF

oh ofc he doesnt believe her

AWWWWWEEEEEEEEE

MY SOUL IS DEAD ISTG

“I KNEW LITTLE ELSE BUT I ALWAYS KNEW YOU” God, its me again. so like, when is it my turn

OH MY GOD IM SO PROUDDDD😭😭😭😭😭😭

HIGH QUEEN OF ELFHAME OFFICIAL OFFICAL

SHE DID THAT YALL SHE DID THAT

AWWW THIS IS SO WHOLESOMEEEE AWJWJWJER

HHHHHHHHNHH SCHEMING GREAT SCHEMES

okay now what.

like idk what to do with my life anymore

anyway we went from fuck cardan to fuck cardan. both have different meanings 😚

Lettersss:

im dead inside

i cant feel anymore

*tears falling*

i hate lady asha man

[mary1andonly]

A little "justice" for Brienne, Jaime, and what we could/should have gotten in the show.

Why D&D made so many unexplainable changes to Brienne and Jaime's arcs, most times completely inverting what they do in the books and changing some of their traits? Let's see.

The gist of the majority of Brienne's problems in the show, was that D&D failed to write her...completely. She was doomed basically from the start from many mistakes and changes D&D made with her. Because she wasn't meant to be your usual warrior lady who simply loves to fight, she's so much more than that, and she's such a unique character.

Brienne's true arc in the books is full of duality. She's Sansa in armor (in GRRM's words). She's a very insicure 19 years old girl who longs to be respected as a knight and she's also a girl who longs to be a lady (married, a mother, and especially loved) but she doesn't think that's possible because of how ugly she is (and now she's also disfigured in the books), and how tall she is, how muscular she is, how strong she is, and she's been mocked and abused her entire life, starting from her piece of shit of a septa. Brienne literally thinks she's unlovable, that the marriage bed for her could only include pain and humiliation (again, thanks to the fucking crazy septa), and GRRM took her and put her right in front of the only guy in Westeros who lives for love and that nowadays would punch in the face any guy who mocks her, especially her mean former betrotheds (Hello Red Ronnet Connington, thank you for taking the iconic golden handed slap). Book!Jaime said it best in his weirwood dream: "In this light she could almost be a beauty. In this light she could almost be a knight". See? Duality. And she'd never scoff at Pod to not call her a lady, Book!Brienne simply finds amusing when Pod calls her "My lady, ser", because he can't seem to decide what to call her, but the fact that he calls her both is another example of the duality GRRM has in store for her.

I know some things were probably changed because they casted the amazing Gwendoline (who's beautiful but actually much taller than most men, just like Brienne), but mostly they simply didn't write some her struggles, both in terms of storylines, both in terms of her more feminine side, since Gwen was actually fantastic in portraying Brienne's vulnerability and shyness when she could, like in the bath scene in Harrenhal.

D&D don't know how to write women who break stereotypes. Brienne and Arya like to fight? Well they must hate feminine things then. Asha/Yara likes to fight and be tough and manly? Well if she's so butch she must be a lesbian. But in the books, Brienne and Arya like feminine things. Hell, Brienne is a huge romantic girl, who loves songs and fairytales and spent her childhood dreaming of romance (you know, the kinda romance that has a guy gifting her a priceless sword, like in her favorite fairytale, the one about ser Galladon and the Maiden, and how the Maiden gifted Gal a priceless magic sword as a gesture of love...seems familiar), and she's vulnerable, sometimes wishing just to have Jaime right next to her so she could cry on his shoulder. And she did spend the night of Renly's wedding crying her eyes out because her crush was marrying another woman. 

Arya liked wearing a pretty dress, even though she thinks she'll never be as beautiful as Sansa, and she's never mocked girls by calling them stupid. She's just a child, but not nearly as much of a stereotypical brat as she is at the beginning of the show. They also kind of switched Arya and Sansa's role within the family, making Sansa the outsider and Arya the one everyone praises. It might seem like a small detail but Arya's lack of self steem because of her inability to fit in and the disaproval she faced is a vital part of the book character, removing that was the first step that eventually led to Arya becoming an arrogant character who thinks she's better than she is and looks down on other women in the show, the complete opposite of what she is in the books.

Season 1 was also the beginning of "warrior Arya". In the books her strenghts are her intelligence, perception, resilience and skill at adapting, it's blatant that even after her water dancing training she would be useless in a battle because of her small size. She couldn’t even properly grab a bow if I remember correctly. But there she is in S1 perfectly shooting arrows. This started the show trend of developing Arya as a warrior and ignoring her intellectual progress. Again, the complete opposite of what's happening in the books.

Asha/Yara fights men and also fucks men. If they really wanted to include some lesbian sex, in the books Dany and Cersei, two traditionally feminine women, have sex with other girls occasionally. Want some proof of D&D's inability to write women? I'm gonna give you a little "gift". This is a sample from a short story written some time ago by David Benioff himself, about a man...and a woman's ass, and how he viewed her ONLY as a hot ass, not a human being, an ass, nothing more...

In the books, in the scene where Jaime gave Oathkeeper to Brienne, she also received a pretty blue dress from him (a dress that matches her eyes, Jaime is obsessed with her eyes in the books). And that's significant. Jaime gives her both a sword and a pretty dress, because he's the one who will eventually make Brienne's dreams about knighthood and being a lady come true, probably with marriage included at a certain point in their story (as it's heavily implied in the text many times, one cute and tiny example is in their very erotic fight scene in the books, where, right after, Jaime calls Brienne his wife, for a disguise from the Brave Companions). She literally had a dream (that GRRM often uses to tease future events) of Jaime knighting her/marrying her (with the all cloaking of the bride, as per westeros tradition). Brienne’s former bethroted literally turns into Jaime in another dream of hers. 

Even though she spent almost her entire life thinking it could never come true, because she was always treated as a beast. (Why couldn't Gwen wear the pretty blue dress in the show? They made her wear the ugly pink Harrenhal dress, but not the pretty blue KL dress...so unfair). Compare that to how in the show she received a sword and also armour, as if the Varyrian steel sword wasn’t enough to point out she’s a warrior, and as if she’s only THAT (it’s obvious she was only that to D&D), while in the books it was a sword and a pretty dress... 

And she seemed happy to wear that dress, because it actually looks good on her (at least Jaime thinks it looks good on her) and she rewards him for the gift by blushing all over the place and blabbering about her bodice being padded to have more shape, meaning it was implied that Jaime was staring at her...chest area in that scene, maybe with a surprised look on his face (why else would she start talking about her bodice being padded when he was talking about her eyes? And we know from her POVs that Brienne is quick to notice when people stare at her breasts, like Nimble Dick), which isn't that weird in the books. Jaime is a freaking pervert about Brienne's body from the get go, always noticing her body and trying to stare at her boobs, legs, muscles (like when she did a backflip into the water in Jaime's first POV), and when he saw her naked in the baths...he got hard, and he couldn't stop thinking about her naked even when he got hard bacause of Pia during his bath in AFFC, and in that case he got aroused because Pia was acting all shy and timid, just like Brienne usually does when she gets embarassed. He's obsessed with her, no matter how many times he told himself that she's ugly and stubborn, and the fact that Jaime's falling hard, but he doesn't understand it, he's in complete denial or simply unaware, it's hilarious. Everytime his thoughts drift off to her, he doesn't know why (he doesn't know what falling in love feels like, nor how courting works, he was literally born with his first lover)...but the obsession and the attraction is mutual, btw, Brienne was certanly feeling some type of way when she saw Jaime wearing his Lord Commander's attire and cloak and she spent a large part of AFFC just thinking of him, also thinking about what happened in the baths, but she wasn't thinking about the very important things Jaime told her about Aerys, she was busy remembering how hot he was...almost godlike.

And Jaime giving Oathkeeper to Brienne (a Valyrian steel sword Tywin wanted desperately to keep in the family as legacy) is also important because it shows just how much Jaime believed in her. In the books, he saw how crushed she was after the Red Wedding (he actually tried to cheer her up, and he was thinking of keeping her in KL with him) and Brienne thought she failed Cat just like she had failed Renly. And he knew the feeling well, since he still feels guilty for failing to protect Rhaegar's kids and wife. So he gave her an heroic quest to redeem herself and prove her worth. He believes she can rescue Sansa, even during the Riverrun’s siege in AFFC he was thinking about Brienne and her quest, hoping she already found Sansa and took her somewhere safe (and how dumb it was, in the show, that D&D made Jaime be surprised that Brienne managed to rescue Sansa, like...if he didn’t think it was possible...why did he send her?...). He believes in her abilities and honor. And the way Brienne treated Oathkeeper so reverently in the books, like she was handling Jaime's own heart, is so special.

Brienne and Jaime are one of his main book couples. So much so that GRRM made their own ancestors fall in love in a prequel book with direct parallels to their story (it's in "The Sworn Sword", the ancestors are Ser Duncan the Tall, Brienne's confirmed ancestor, the most honorable knight of the seven kingdoms, and Lady Rohanne Webber Lannister, Jaime's great-grandmother, a lady with a very bad reputation, the so called "Red Widow"). And book!Brienne and Jaime are influenced by the story of the Beauty and the Beast, GRRM's favorite love story of all time, and this influence was confirmed by GRRM himself, who said that Jaime and Brienne are meant to be his version of that love story, but with genders and roles switched (I mean, Brienne is literally called "The Beauty"...subtle George, really subtle). With the ugly girl making the most beautiful man in Westeros fall for her, and the Kingslayer earning the love of the most honorable and innocent girl in Westeros (The thing book!Jaime loves in a woman is innocence, from what he told to a character called Hildy and he did think of Brienne as "innocent" during their dinner with Roose).

How D&D took a look at that and discarded it all, I have no clue. It's like, at a certain point, they stopped adapting the books and simply took some inspiration from GRRM while writing their own story.

In the books Brienne literally got hanged by Lady Stoneheart in Jaime's place. She was ready to die for him! (Compare that to Cersei asking Jaime to die for/with her in her letter). And the Stoneheart situation is taken from the Beauty and the Beast's original story, where the Beauty, at a certain point, was forced by the villagers to betray the Beast, and was forced to send him in a trap, because they wanted to kill him. Only magic intervention saved the Beast, and the almost death thing made the Beauty and the Beast realize their feelings. Who knows what's going to happen after Stoneheart...

Brienne is a tough warrior (strong and confident with a sword in her hand) and also a romantic heroine. A girl who constantly gets treated like shit, but remains a good person. A shy, awkward and altruistic girl with a golden and pure heart who hates killing! Her very first kill happens only in book 4 and it's significant because she murders three of the dudes that took Jaime's right hand, and she mutilated one of them as well, to avenge Jaime, she wasn't a killing machine from the start like the show implied, and she was sobbing with tears after the killings (there was no reason for Brienne to start the show as an experienced killer, the realm had been at peace for decades, and she only got involved in the war of the 5 kings to serve Renly, who up to his death didn't fight any battles). One of Brienne’s main characteristics in the books is her inexperience about how the real world works. She has learned some things along the way, but she’s still too innocent for her own good, something that both Jaime and Cat had noticed often in the books. That’s one of her main storylines of the last published books: her growth, and how having to deal with the harshest realities of life (after living her life as a privileged and sheltered lady on Tarth, with her head full of songs about knights and adventures, just like Sansa) could possibly change her thoughts about honor. But D&D cut off her wings completely on that storyline, introducing her as someone who already knows everything about life, war, poverty, even tho those are things she was meant to deal with only after leaving King’s Landing...and since they couldn’t use this plot anymore...we had Brienne staring at a stupid candle for like a season...

Book!Brienne would have never said something like "you sound like a bloody woman" to a suffering Jaime, after he lost his hand. In the books she merely told him to stop being a coward in that scene...and that too was taken from the original Beauty and the Beast’s story, when the Beaty tries to shake up a hurt Beast by saying “Don’t be a coward, use those claws and roar”, here. Brienne is not a fucking incel, I have no clue what D&D were trying to do. The real Brienne would never use the word "woman" as an insult. Despite the fact that Westeros is a very misogynistic place in both books and show, Book!Brienne has never shown internalized misogyny. Brienne doesn't hate women or being one. She just hates restrictions (and she hates being ugly, but that’s another story). If D&D really wanted someone who could showcase internalized misogyny, there’s a perfect character in the books for it. That character is Cersei Lannister, the woman that loves to mock raped girls...certainly, it’s not Brienne.

And Brienne ending up in the KG is the last insult to the injury. The journey GRRM is taking with her, in the books, is a journey to make Brienne understand that being a true knight has nothing to do with stupid vows, celibacy, a white cloak, and always being someone's lapdog. She's learning that being sworn to someone that gives you horrible orders and having to do everything they say, endangering innocents like Pod, like Lady Stoneheart ordering her to kill Jaime for the Red Wedding (which he had no role in and Brienne knows) is fucked up. It's what happened to Jaime when he served the Mad King. That experience turned a pretty idealistic young boy into the troubled man we met later on. Jaime is not shy in saying that white cloak ruined him.

And plus she started her story as a member of Renly's KG only because she was in love with him and she wanted to protect him and die for him if necessary (and in her POVs she remembers that she fell for him because he danced with her, making her feel feminine and delicate, something she always longed for).

And it's a parallel to Jaime entering the KG to be close to Cersei, back when he was a teen (something he deeply grew to regret). Brienne was a teen herself when she followed Renly. For Brienne, becoming the LC of the KG would only mean going back to the start, not the ending of her story. Because now, she's learning that things with a cloak on aren't always what they seem.

And also...she's the freaking heir of Tarth, which never meant anything to D&D, but it sure as hell means something to Brienne, and it's obviously gonna be a part of her ending in the books, now that Tarth has fallen thanks to the Golden Company (for all we know she could be the new Lady of Tarth atm) and that feeling unworthy of that position is a huge struggle she faces in the books. 

Or the fact that GRRM has given us hints about Jaime and Brienne possibly having a baby at a certain point in the story...like, that couldn't be more night and day from what we got in the show. For example in Jaime's weirwood prophecy dream, where he sees Brienne's "more womanly body shape", against the zombies that represented the Others, or when in ASOS Jaime was thinking about fathering another child after Joffrey's death, and he started following Brienne immediately after the thought. Or when in his first POV in AFFC, he remembers when he sent soldiers searching for Tyrion in the brothels, which promptly made him think about sex, about new children being conceived, and he immediately started wondering where Brienne was, hoping she was safe and praying for her to the Father... (his thought process was literally: brothels > sex > babies > Brienne). Or when Cat and Brienne talked about childbirth as the biggest battle women had to face and how unfair it was that no singer writes about that, but they write only about male battles on the battlefield (Brienne, who’s the queen of duality, could very vell face both tipes of battle).

GRRM loves to give hints about future events. In an old interview he explained that he starts off by giving very small hints, to reward the most dedicated readers, and then he starts giving bigger hints, so that most casual readers can catch the drift as well, and then he goes all out with the things he planned, revealing them when it’s time. The Red Wedding is a huge example of it, since we can find small hints about it even in AGOT, and then we got Dany’s vision about it in ACOK, and in ASOS we got even bigger hints, and then...it happened.

Now, whether they have only one child before Jaime dies in the last book, or if they have a bunch of kids, growing old together, is up to GRRM (I have a few theories on why it might be the second thing, but that would take a long time, but to make it short, I think there's a huge chance Jaime is going to survive the books, but that has little to do with romantic things or Brienne, I started thinking a long time ago that he could end up as Bran's Hand and help the poor child he crippled and almost killed in any way he could, by becoming what he always tried to avoid becoming since the very first book: a political figure, especially since in the last books we saw just how much he rocks as a political presence, and there are many hints about this theory I found in the books, but again, it's a long thing, I just like the fact that the very first time Jaime was asked, and refused, to be the Hand was when he pushed Bran, Jaime’s “I don’t wanna be Hand” sounds very similar to Bran’s “I never fall” from that very scene...GRRM loves contradicting what his characters say... I sure as hell know Tyrion is not gonna be Bran's Hand, GRRM said that Tyrion is his main villain, and from the moment he raped that poor girl in ADWD (twice) I knew that, in the books, he’s not gonna get a typical happy ending. While Tyrion started off as a very likeble character in the books, he’s becoming someone vicious and ruthless as the time goes by, while his brother Jaime started the books as someone the readers thought was completely vicious and ruthless, only to then become a character that gets liked more and more as the books progress (so yeah, the brothers exchanged life paths). The big difference between show and book Tyrion is that, Show!Tyrion (a fan favorite) was hated for the simple fact of being a dwarf, while Book!Tyrion (GRRM’s villain) thinks he gets hated for being a dwarf, but he mostly for being an asshole!!! (not that he doens’t have many good reasons for it)...and also the ironic twist of the guy that lost a hand becoming the Hand...especially because Jaime’s redemption, and his second life, was kickstarted by losing his hand.

Even the fact that Brienne wrote about Jaime in the White Book in the show...ffs, Jaime wants to do that all of his own in the books. And the important part of the White Book, in the books, is that one of the first things Jaime did when he was back in KL, was to write about Brienne in his bio, of how she took him back to KL safely. In the books, it's Jaime wanting to include Brienne in his life story. In the show, Brienne didn't even include herself in Jaime's bio, WTF! And this happened in the same chapter where he gave Oathkeeper to Brienne, and where he refused to be seduced by Cersei, fought with Cersei, and started thinking of his twin as his ex-lover, long before he also learned she was cheating on him with everything that moved (while he's probably the most faithful guy in Westeros. Jaime is such a romantic at heart that he spent much of AFFC convincing himself that Cersei didn't cheat on him, because that would have meant he wasted decades on a lie, on a failed romance with a cheating bastard, and he wasn't ready to face it.), and that she didn't even remember the place where they first had sex, that's how little he meant for Cersei, they literally broke up two books ago. He spent a large part of AFFC realizing how toxic his relationship with Cersei always was.

Somehow all of this in the show happened in the opposite way, with Jaime throwing to the ground the White Book, and fucking Cersei in the Tower, without writing about Brienne...D&D could have simply not added the White Book scene, but no, they decided to include it and make Jaime act in the opposite way he acted in the books...Book!Jaime doesn't want Cersei anymore, and she certainly doesn't want him either (she's busy daydreaming about Aurane Waters and how he reminds her of the one that got away, Rhaegar). They can't stand each other anymore. Hell, Cersei only liked Jaime when he looked like her, basically being her mirror in men's clothes, while Jaime has never liked her because she was his twin, he never asked her to change her appereance to look like him in some way, like she constantly did for him (wanting him to have long hair to match hers, or asking him to shave to have a bare face like her).

And let's not forget how they turned Brienne into a mocking trope with Tormund. I love Tormund, don't get me wrong, but imagine if he was making eyes, making uncomfortable, and flirting (without bothering to learn her name) with a beautiful girl instead, like Sansa or Missandei. The joke would have been so much more distasteful. But Brienne is ugly so, it was okay to mock her with that nonsense right D&D? Do you get it, Brienne is ugly af so it's hilarious that someone wants her, right? Aren't D&D just two masters of comedy?/s 

Obviously Tormund doesn't even know Brienne in the books, but if D&D actually wanted to add someone trying to get it on with Brienne, why not simply add freaking Hyle Hunt? (or as I like to call him, bootleg Jaime). He's the idiotic but somewhat funny guy that wants to marry Brienne in the books (just to get Tarth), and that has been trying to get in her pants and take her virginity since Renly's camp. The guy who has followed her and traveled with her and Pod for a large part of AFFC, annoying her the entire time, but also starting to respect her. He's literally Brienne's "Gaston". And she hates him, of course...Gosh, I can't wait to see Jaime meet this guy after the Stoneheart situation, and to see him finding out about Hyle's marriage proposal (and the times he tried to seduce her) and the bet on Brienne's virginity...maybe what Jaime did to Brienne's former betrothed will look like a caress in comparison...Martin please, I need Winds.

I can also spend some time complaining about what they did to Jaime.

I always giggle when I remember a comment someone made back in 2016 about Jaime, on GRRM's personal blog. It's a comment GRRM choose to keep and not delete, even if it insulted HBO, back when GOT was still going, and it's about the differences between book and show Jaime. I think it says a lot about what GRRM feels.

D&D literally took any chance they got to make Jaime worse than he is in the books (and that says a freaking lot, since Jaime is no saint and he still has many sins and crimes to answer for, I'm sure his meeting with Lady Stoneheart is gonna be interesting...). 

Even the way he said "the things I do for love" when he pushed Bran was drastically different: in the show, when Jaime pushed Bran, he seemed uncaring and flippant about what he did, in the books, he was loathing everything about it, and he said those words with loathing! And he later told Cersei that "what happened to the Stark boy in Winterfell" was one of the few things he's ashamed of regarding his love for her (funnily enough he only appears to honestly feel shame for the Bran thing after he came back from his trip with Brienne, so after he met her, before that, in his very first POV in fact, he seemed to be repressing his guilt and shame pretty hard). And obviously, in the books, Jaime pushed Bran with his right hand, since it was meant to be connected with him later on losing that same hand...but of course, in the show, D&D cared fuck all about continuity and details, so Jaime pushed Bran with his left hand instead, back in s1...

In the show, Jaime brutally killed his own cousin, in the books, he never did anything like that, he's no kinslayer (not yet, if he's the Valonqar) since kinslaying is actually considered one of the worst sins in Westeros (that's why Victarion still hasn't killed Euron). 

In the show he brutally murders Karstark's son to escape, after killing his cousin, in the books he killed Karstark's sons in a normal battle, the Wispering Woods one, the fact Karstark then went mad with revenge was just Karstark being Karstark, Jaime was barely fighting in a battle, as usual. 

In the show, he casually mentioned to Brienne, in a mocking way, that if she ended up raped by the assholes that kidnapped them, she could close her eyes and think about Renly, in the books he did tell her to "go away inside" and think of Renly, but he was serious, he was giving her an heartfelt advice to protect her state of mind and sanity, since we know that back when Jaime was in Aerys's KG he was forced to watch him murder and torture many innocent people, and he was forced to listen to Aerys brutally rape his sister wife, and to keep his own state of mind and sanity, Jaime always used the "go away inside" thing. It's also an advice he gave to Tommen in the books, when Tommen felt sick and puked at Tywin's funeral. He was honestly trying to help! 

Regarding the show’s version of the scene where Jaime saved Brienne from rape, it slightly annoyed me that D&D almost wrote it to make it seem like Jaime lost his hand as an act of vengeance for interrupting those fuckers's "fun", almost as it was Brienne's fault. But no, in the books, Jaime lost his hand as soon as they got captured, because the loss of his hand had everything to do with the fact that the Bloody Mummers (their kidnappers) used to work for Tywin, but then they betrayed him, they started working for Roose instead, and by the time they met Jaime and Brienne, they were starting to get scared of a possible alliance between Roose and Tywin (something that would have meant their end), and so they acted out of impulse, and as soon as they got their hands on Jaime, they mutilated him, trying to avoid that dangerous alliance being formed (obviously, Roose would later on successfully dissociate himself from what happened to Jaime, and he became an ally to Tywin and the Freys). And, of course, the Bloody Mummers were also just simply sadists, knows for mutilating people, so... In the books, as soon as they got taken, Brienne tried to defend Jaime, stepping between him and those fuckers (losing some of her teeth in the process), and, from the very beginning, Jaime told them the "Sapphires" lie, to try and save Brienne, but after they cut off his right hand, the Bloody Mummers tried to rape Brienne anyway, and an half-dead Jaime, hurt and broken, managed to yell at the top of his lungs the word "Sapphires", so that Vargo Hoat, those fuckers's boss (that wanted to keep Brienne a maid to get those sapphires from her dad), could come and stop the thing from happening, and he did! And, I don't know, but the fact that Jaime, in the books, saved Brienne from being raped while being half-dead and so weak himself, always meant so much more for me.

And then the famous and already mentioned scene where Jaime and Cersei have sex in the Tower in the show...damn it, Jaime rejected her in the books, he would never do something so dishonorable, it was the end of their relationship in the books! The last time those two had sex, in the books, was the (disgusting) scene in the sept in front of Joffrey's body. In the books that scene was consensual. While in the show, for some strange reason, the scene was written to make Jaime look like a crazy rapist (when he hates rape). First of all, it never made sense that Jaime and Brienne made it to KL before Joffrey's death on the show. And in fact, in the books, they arrive when Joffrey is already a corpse, and Cersei and Jaime end up having sex there in front of their son's corpse precisely because in the books that's the scene in which they meet again after a long year, and therefore a due enthusiasm is triggered in them. GRRM said that scene is something clearly unhealthy, but absolutely consensual (Cersei has only an initial fear of getting caught, but soon she lets herself go), while GRRM readily acknowledged that D&D wrote that scene as very "rapey" in GOT. That scene is absolutely creepy, in the books, but it’s also an excellent metaphor for the entire incestuous relationship between those two, and in fact it’s their "swan song". It’s the last time they have sex, and they break up immediately afterwards.

And HE was the one to give the name "Oathkeeper" to the sword, not Brienne. In the books, that was Jaime starting to care again about his honor. It was him having agency, and wanting to be his own person again. Or even the fact they decided to send him to Dorne, instead on focusing on the progress he's currently making as a character in the books. They shouldn't have adapted Dorne in the first place, since they made an horrible mess of it, and it was clear they didn't have a clue about what's the main point of Dorne in the books. They didn't even include Jaime's love for horses and how he stopped naming them because it hurt him too much when they died in battle (and how he gifted a "homely" mare to Brienne, a mare as homely as her Jaime told her, even tho later that turned out to be a rather sweet to look upon mare in Brienne's first POV in AFFC...Jaime giving some backhanded compliments there). They even made Jaime dislexic, simply because one of D&D, forgot which one, is dislexic (how self-centered you need to be to modify an alrealy existing character created by GRRM, to add to him your own real life characteristics?)

Jaime had even felt guilty about the bear in Harrenhal, after seeing his dead body in the AFFC. And Jaime has a very empathetic side even with the poor villagers attacked, in fact he is always careful to keep his soldiers at bay during his travels in the fourth book.

And let's not forget how in the show Jaime started insulting Brienne from the moment he saw her, while in the books Jaime, who has a nice functioning brain unlike his version written by D&D, initially tried to be nice to her, to persuade the woman who was holding him in chains to give him some freedom. What started their antagonistic relationship was Brienne instead, who actually started to insult him heavily first (not that she didn't have reasons to do that, lol).

A thing that always irked me the wrong way, was how the show adapted the Riverrun situation. In the books, Jaime taking Riverrun without spilling blood is a huge thing for many reasons. Getting to know Brienne inspired him to try being more like her, like the honorable knight he longed to be as a child, but it was his choice, HE decided to keep the vow he made to Cat to never harm a Tully again, even if Cat was dead, and he was keen on taking Riverrun without a blood bath. He used his terrible reputation as the vicious Kingslayer, and made a threat concerning Edmure's son to quickly make him surrender. HE decided to do it like this. It was all him. In the show they took away all of his agency. He took Riverrun "for Cersei", he needed to be convinced by Brienne to act decent, and in the end...the Blackfish died. So take that Cat, show!Jaime contributed to your uncle's death...yay. And also they made him the "stupidest" Lannister, when Cersei is right there who in the books is dumb as a rock...

I also had the displeasure of reading some comments about Jaime and Aerys's death, from people claiming that he only did it to save himself because he didn't wanna die in the explosion. I mean, I have no doubts he wanted to live, but sadly D&D failed to show just how much Jaime did for KL (let's remember that, till the last moment, he was pleading Aerys to not trust Tywin, trying to protect his king from danger, it was Pycelle that told Aerys to trust Tywin, and that was a disaster). In the books, in the famous baths scene where Jaime spilled the beans, he told Brienne that he spent the weeks following Aerys's death, searching for and murdering all the people involved in making the wildfire for the Mad King and everyone who knew about his plan (expect Varys), why?! Because he was scared one of them was gonna finish the Mad King's job. He could have simply fled somewhere safe, leaving KL to its own destiny, but he didn't. He sacrificed his honor and his reputation (which were everything to a 17 years old Jaime, a boy that wanted to become the greatest knight ever) to save KL, because he cared about all the innocents and otherwise (see what I did there?), even if they spent the following years mocking him and whispering "Kingslayer" behind his back. But he decided to tell the truth to Brienne, and she's the ONLY person that knows, the only one he felt the need to open up to (for some reason in s8 Tyrion also knew...why D&D?), because he saw his younger self in her, because she's honorable, honest, good, nice, naive, and everything he wanted to be once upon a time. Because he wanted Brienne to see the real him, because she's the only one who could understand him. Just like he saw the real her, all her hidden beauty underneath her ugliness.

They get each other. Even Jaime knows that, since he mentioned to Brienne that they "knew each other too well", in his last POV in ASOS. They are 2 parts of the same sword after all. And seeing that side of Jaime, whom Brienne initially saw just as an horrible monster, also challenged her own vision about how the world works. She realized the world is not just black and white, with just bad or good people. But that things are much more complicated than that. Also, they didn't show the moment where Jaime called Brienne "his protector", when he was talking to Qyburn in Harrenhal in the books...

For all the talk about not giving a shit about what people thought of him, Book!Jaime trew a temper tantrum every time, in the beginning of their journey, Brienne insulted him. And when he gave her Oathkeeper and she immediately assumed the worst of him, that he wanted her to use it to kill Sansa, he got incredibly angry and he was so upset he didn't even want to look at her anymore. He wants Brienne to have a good opinion of him. And since Brienne also inspired him to keep his vows, he now started taking his KG's vows seriously, and he's being chaste, even tho several women tried, in vain, to seduce him...I'm sure Brienne could very well change his mind about that. Chastity doesn't look good for someone as horny as Jaime Lannister, someone who now only longs to have a warm wife in his bed (I love how envious he was of Lancel's marital status in the books).

Jaime is someone who does "things for love".

When it comes to Book!Cersei, his narcissistic twin that abused him for decades, a complete villain who murdered her best friend when she was only 10, that always meant horrible things and crimes. Like when Cersei sent him searching for Arya to hurt her after her fight with Joffrey (in the books). She didn't care that everytime he obeyed her orders to make her happy, she just added another thing he was gonna hate himself for. She only loves her brother as an extension of herself (same with her children and her father). When Jaime started to differentiate himself from her, she started liking him less and less. Cersei only likes people as far as she can use them to her own ends, and even then she seems to despise everyone. She would always see people as a means of getting control. To her, Jaime was her toy and her hitman. Someone she could control with empty promises of love and a place in her bed. She turned him from the future Arthur Dayne, to the Smiling Knight. She always used to seduce him when she needed something from him. She was always jealous of him, she literally seduced him into giving up Casterly Rock and his rights (basically pulling an ultimatum), to serve her from the KG, just because she always thought the Rock belonged to her (and Cersei is almost right in feeling the way she does, because of Westeros's misogynistic views and laws, but since she's actually the most misogynistic woman in power in Westeros...fuck her). And she was ready to dump him with no regrets if she had a real chance to be Rhaegar’s queen.

And their relationship is simply abusive and toxic in the books, even tho many people take a look at Jaime, a strong man, and think it's impossible he could actually be Cersei's victim. But just think of Cersei as the man and Jaime as the woman in their relationship. Think of every time Cersei hit, mocked, insulted, berated, gaslighted, manipulated Jaime in the books, but with their genders switched...things get ugly very quickly, don't they?! To deal with that abuse, Jaime even started “turning her blows into kisses”...his words, not mine. But apparently, D&D love abuse, and love to show that ugly women don't get to have love, while if you're beautiful, even if you're awful, you can get it... GRRM certainly doesn't agree, and he has already stated in a old interview that in his books Jaime and Cersei are "effectively estranged". And that's how it's gonna obviously stay: Jaime burned Cersei's letter (you know, the one when she begged him to go to her to DIE with her...she's so caring), in fact he didn't even burn it personally, he made his squire burn it because it would have been too much trouble to do it himself, lol. If she dies or if she lives, in the books, he doesn't give a fuck anymore. 

He was born holding her foot with his right hand, and GRRM cut off that hand. It was the beginning of their end as lovers. They didn't even knew each other at all: Jaime always perceived an idolized imagine of her. Cersei always saw her twin as cold and evil as her, a male version of her, with no different personality than hers and with no other dreams different from what she wanted or needed from him. They always saw each other as the illusion they had of each other. But now, they started thinking of each other as a stranger in their POVs. And to tell you the truth, Jaime always seemed closer to Tyrion than to Cersei in the books to me. Jaime and Cersei really didn't have much in common. Indeed, Cersei is turning into the man she hated more than anybody else, Robert Baratheon, her "dear" hubby. As he was obsessed with the memory of Lyanna, she seems to be obsessed with the memory of Rhaegar. Jus like him, she's starting to drink too much, and it's making her fat, just like Robert did. Robert is her real twin.

Meanwhile, the "things he does for love" for Brienne, are all good, since she's the one that reminded him that there's still good in the world. He saved her multiple times, risking his own life for her (from the bear, from the Brave Companions, from Loras), and not just her (Hi Pia, I really love you). She is such a good influence on him, but in the end, it's always him that decides to act on it and be good. You see, Brienne and Jaime were always used to be the ones giving and never receiving, without thinking of their own needs, but just about making the people they cared about safe. But with each other they have the chance to both give and receive. Jaime saving Brienne was monumental for her. Nobody ever cared enough for her to do something like that. And Brienne kinda returns the favor, like when we saw how upset she got at the inn where the innkeeper was insulting the "Kingslayer". Nobody ever cared this much for Jaime (except Tyrion, before they had their falling out). Thanks to Brienne, Jaime started, almost unconsciously, to reclaim his honour, something he thought to have lost as a teen. Jaime already knew what was right and good, Brienne just reminded him that what was right and good still had a place in their world. 

I was fairly pissed off that D&D made the Tyrells and Littlefinger immediately think that Brienne didn't murder Renly, because in the books Brienne being wrongly accused of being a Kingslayer, and Loras wanting her dead for Renly's death, is very important for Jaime and Brienne. Loras's wrath is a huge thing they have to face when they get back to KL. Jaime protecting Brienne and saving her from Loras (even tho, once again, Brienne assumed the worst of Jaime when he imprisoned her to keep her away from Loras, and she inadvertently hurt his feelings), and successfully "brainwashing" him till Loras starts to believe in Brienne's innocence, is important in both their relantionship and also in how the readers view Jaime. But for some reason, again, they didn't bother with it in the show at all. Like how in the show Jaime didn't get his "Payne". In the books they each got a Payne: Brienne has Podrick Payne with her, Jaime has ser Ilyn Payne, as someone to train with (get beat up actually) and as someone he confides his secrets to, without fear that Ilyn's going to reveal them...I mean Ilyn has no tongue and doesn't know how to write...Ilyn is Jaime's silent therapist, basically.

Brienne is the antithesis of Cersei. Cersei is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside, Brienne is the opposite. When it comes to Jaime and Brienne, it's just this amazing story of two people who believe they are not worth respect or love for different reasons and have relegated themselves to roles neither want to play. Brienne as a celibate warrior (only way to get any respect in a world where women have very little power outside Dorne), when she wants a family. And Jaimie as a honorless weapon of Cersei, even though he actually has deep conviction and desires to be a good person. It's great because once they are outside of their normal groups, they recognize these positive qualities in each other. For the first time Jaimie actually cares about someone elses opinion besides Cersei, and because Brienne isn't a toxic human she encourages him to care about his own opinions again. But he wants to impress her because she is a good person and he wanted to be like that, but he has been beaten down by an abusive romance for a long time. (Not that he didnt have responsibility for his bad decisions too, but a lifetime of manipulation by a narcissist can seriously mess a person up). And Brienne finds someone who sees her as a whole person. Not just a soldier, not just a lady. He sees all of her as she really is and he believes in her. But beyond that he gives her the idea that she does deserve love and affection, that beauty or obedience aren't the only things valuable a woman has. Cersei's “love” made Jaime a monster, Brienne's love made him a knight, a true knight.

The message the TV series sent through Jaime Lannister's storyline (or should I say by ruined it) is that if you are in a toxic (emotionally abusive) relationship, which manages to corrupt you and ruin your life, you must be doomed to stay there, trapped. You must remain unaware of that person's betrayals. You must stay with that person even if you are going through a redemptive arc, and even if what you believe in goes against the other person's actions. You have to stay with that person even after they commit a crime similar to the one you managed to stop, and that got you hate for 20 years. A crime that led to your surviving son's death, a year after seeing your daughter die in your arms.

And then, finally, they allow you to open your eyes, and to choose the right thing for you and leave that hateful person behind you. The person you broke all your oaths for. You choose to fight for the living, you choose to keep your oath, even if you are a single lion surrounded by a pack of wolves and dragons who want you dead. And in the midst of it all, you open your eyes to the thing you've always repressed, that over the years you have begun to feel something strong for the woman who inspired you. Not to be someone else, but to be yourself again. She is the reflex version of yourself as an adolescent, the aspiring knight who dreamed of becoming a hero, but that instead found himself tied to honor and oaths and to protect a tyrant who burned innocent and raped his wife. That person to whom you denied your affection, because obviously you have always remained faithful to one single woman, but now she was the past, so there is no longer any reason for you to deny yourself. After you both survive the battle that almost kills you, you can finally bring those feelings to life. You stay with that person for weeks on end, surrounded by your (former) enemies (and of course your sex scene isn't shown at all, because it's just meaningless sex, isn't it?! /S). You learn that your ex lover is either going to win or get executed. So you come back to her... why? Because you are both hateful? Because you have to die with her as per her wish? Because she wants to drag you down with her selfishly? Just like it has always been in your relationship? Because in that TV series, you can't fight back, you can't aspire to become a better person. And you certainly don't deserve to get rid of that abusive relationship. No no no. The control she has over you is eternal, and she will always decide your fate.

Now. Imagine if a female character had to give up her future and her legacy. And become a septa who has to get pregnant in secret to please her brother, but then that brother takes away all of her children and never allows her to see them, hold them or educate them. She has to do horrible things to please that brother, and she hates himself for it. But those are the things she does out of love... But then she meets a knight, who is a bastard, ugly, constantly mocked. They become close and begin to feel something for each other. And he makes her realize that her relationship with her brother was terrible, so she gets rid of it. She goes away with the knight. They are happy together, but for some reason she wants to go back to her brother to die with him. Because her brother had always told her that, so he must have been right and he has to get what he wants.

Ah !!! Now can you understand how sick that ending really was, how insulting it was that Jaime survived the battle of Winterfell, got together with Brienne, only to go back to Cersei, so he could die with her or because of her, just as she had always wanted, because he is her property, and in the TV series Cersei always got what she wanted (it's no secret that D&D wrote Cersei in a "more positive" way than the books, or more favorably, because they loved his character in a particular way and they were friends with Lena).

In the show, D&D chose to favor Cersei, sabotaging Jaime. They chose to make that incest some sort of love story, when in reality it was just a toxic mess, and to make things even worse, they ruined the longest relationship the show was brewing, a love story built slowly over seven seasons, the healthiest and most beautiful of relationships, which showed us acceptance, redemption, fighting side by side as two equals ...

And why? Because you can’t escape your demons? Because you can’t live outside of a toxic relationship? Jaime "Burn the letter" Lannister is "addicted" to Cersei? No, he isn't, and he obviously isn't in the books. D&D are the ones obsessed with her and with incest, and Jaime's shit ending is their fault, I can't blame a character for something the writers made him do, when it’s an OOC thing and something he’d never do in the books.

Their incestuous story after Robert's rebellion is clearly the development of a mutual self-loathing, for Jaime and Cersei, who understood that the only way they could love themselves was through the reflection of their own twin. Jaime had become the Kingslayer, he had broken his oaths, and he had failed in the mission his friend Rhaegar had given him (keep his wife and children safe). Cersei was married to Robert who didn't love her, and whom she didn't love. She was so beautiful, the most beautiful woman in Westeros, yet she was nothing to him compared to Lyanna's ghost. He treated her without regard, got heavily drunk, cheated on her, raped her. In fact, their incestuous relationship resumed, after Cersei's marriage, only as a spite when she first discovered that Robert was cheating on her, not because she missed having Jaime in her bed.

Jaime and Cersei “loved” each other as a desperate attempt to love themselves.

As for the matter of Jaime wanting to die in the arms of the woman he loved, this was made up by the show, it's not in the books. He never said it in the books. And there is also another "small" detail.

Book! Jaime had thought only only single time that he was destined to die with Cersei: at the beginning of his journey in the third book, before he even lost his right hand, before starting his story arc of redemption, before he and Cersei broke up, before he started to become his own person again, and before he burned Cersei's letter. The only person who, at this very moment, in the books, still thinks that Cersei and Jaime are destined to die together is Cersei herself ... and she is always wrong about everything, like when she thinks that the news about Dany's dragons are just fairy tales, or like when she initially thought that Stannis killed Tywin, or like when she thinks the Kettleblacks, Aurane and Taena are really loyal to her, but especially when she was wrong about the letter she sent to Jaime (of course we know he burned it, but she thinks he just didn't get it), and even more, when she was wrong in thinking that Jaime would never leave her to go after Brienne, or as she calls her "That horrible creature" (which is something tha Jaime actually does in the fifth book).

And if we analyze Jaime's prophetic dream in the third book, we know that just like Joffrey and Tywin, Cersei will "leave" Jaime (she will die), long before him, since in the dream we saw Joffrey, Tywin and Cersei follow the dead Lannisters, leaving Jaime behind (and only a few chapters after this dream, first Joff and then Tywin were really dead).

Why D&D didn't get how amazing their romance is in the books, so that they could show it in the best way possible in the show, remains a mystery. When GRRM was also working on the show in the earlier seasons, he added a bunch of romantic scenes for them he couldn't include in the books. For example, GRRM wrote the Purple Wedding episode (it was the last episode he wrote for the show), and he wrote Cersei confronting Brienne about her love for Jaime (in the books it didn't happen because Jaime and Brienne weren't even in KL when Joffrey died), or the scene where Loras told Jaime that he was never going to marry Cersei, and then the camera showed Brienne walking in front of them and Jaime looking at her, with The Bear and the Maiden Fair playing in the background (their song). 

(small note. D&D also destroyed Loras, who loved Renly so much in the books that he joined the KG in King’s Landing, after his death, because he knows he would never find another love...Loras said that "after that the sun goes out, no candle can replace it ”, while in the show he was portrayed as a promiscuous guy, because D&D love stereotypes about gays, or so it seems).

That was all GRRM planting seeds for his plans for them, before he left the show, and we know how D&D managed to royally ruin everything he worked on. They didn't even follow up even with smaller things from the show, like the scene where Jaime and Brienne (and Cleos too in the books) found the dead women hanged for "laying with lions". That scene in the books is not just there to show us how much war sucks and how much the Northern men were just as bad as Lannister's men, but also as a foreshadowing for Brienne's future, since just one book later she was also hanged by Lady Stoneheart and the BWB, after being "kindly" labeled the Kingslayer's whore. In the show it was a simple scene like many others, in the book it had a much deeper meaning. If only D&D bothered to stick with the books more...and please don't tell me that it was because they couldn't adapt LSH in fear that it could have cheepened the Red Wedding (D&D stated that as one of the reasons), because guess what? In the books Cat came back to life but the Red Wedding remains one of the most traumatic experience of reading them, and in the end we "only" lost Robb, his wolf and his men in that tragedy, but in the show there was NO way the Red Wedding could have felt cheepened, we lost Robb, his wolf, his men, his wife and their unborn child, after many episodes of getting to know their romance. And in the end, the Cat we knew is truly lost forever, Catelyn Stark is truly dead in the books, because LSH only has her body, but she's a shell of what Cat was, she has a completely different personality, she's a monstrous zombie thirsting for revenge. So the "it cheepens the Red Wedding" excuse is as valid as D&D's "we basically saw the end of the Dothraki in episode 3" since right after they multiplied like crazy in episode 6 of s8. And I mentioned this because their choice to not adapt LSH has incredibly fucked over both Jaime and Brienne's storylines, and GRRM fought really hard to try and change their minds about not adapting her also for that reason. (Let's not forget that having Cat "come back" from the dead would have made Jon's resurrection less predictable, we would have been wondering what state Jon could have come back: more evil, less human, colder? Or if he would have even come back at all, since we already got Cat "back").

Plus, Lady Stoneheart's first appearance, in the books, is insanely good. Any sane screenwriter would have wanted to adapt it!

The truth is that the more the show continued, the more D&D wanted to stay away from fantasy elements (their words, not mine), and I personally think it was also because they simply picked and choose what they liked about Martin's story, and had the presumption of thinking they could do a better job than the original author by adding their own ideas and stuff...we know how that turned out.

P.s ...did you know that the whole love triangle between Jaime/Brienne/Cersei has many similarities with the love life of GRRM himself? (don't worry, there is no incest in this case). Perhaps you all already know GRRM's current wife, Parris (who is fantastic), but you may not have known that he had another wife, prior to Parris.

GRRM always describes his first wife as a crazy narcissist who almost ruined his life (at one point he was so destroyed that for a period of the 70s he wrote only absolutely tragic love stories). The similarities between the fictional love triangle and the real life one are not only based on the crazy narcissism of the first love of the guy in question… Do you know how GRRM and Parris first met?

GRRM said that he was at a college women's sauna party in the 70s (I still don't know what he was doing all naked in a women's sauna...), and he said that in the middle of the sauna fumes, suddenly, he saw in front of him the naked body of a woman… Parris. He said he immediately felt attracted to her (he got hard), and that, out of nowhere, both naked, they started talking, and became friends (Yes, George really wrote the Harrenhal's bath scene inspired by his first meeting with his current wife). He and Parris understood that they were interested in each other right away, but they remained for a long time just friends because GRRM was stuck in the toxic relationship with his ex (it was GRRM who defined that relationship toxic, I would never do that), and indeed, a little while after meeting Parris, he ended up marrying the crazy narcissist anyway. That disastrous marriage ended in a divorce, and as soon as he got free, George quickly contacted Parris (who remained his friend throughout his first marriage) and they got together, and after decades as a couple, they got married in 2011 (when the fifth book of the saga was published). Parris is very similar to Brienne, both in appearance and personality. Obviously, Parris is more beautiful (because Brienne's ugliness is purposely exaggerated in the books), but she shares Brienne's freckles, her "straw-colored" hair, her being a lil’ unconventional, her love for sporty things, but in a much more adorable way, Parris' favorite dish is crabs…guess what is Brienne's favorite dish in the books? You guessed it...crabs.

I apologize in advance for any mistakes, English is not my first language.

TLDR: D&D completely erased many of Brienne's personality traits, and wrote her only as a one-dimensional female warrior. They also somehow decided to make Jaime worse and make him do the exact opposite he does in the books, many times. And they also screwed over their relationship, for no reason. They completely missed the point of their characters.