#ladies get you an art object that can do both

[edwardteachswombtattoo]

"Namby-Pamby in a Silk Gown": Our Flag Means Death, Toxic Masculinity, Queer Culture, and the Feminine Man

So. Masculinity. Piracy. Our Flag Means Death. Gentlebeard. Izzy. Colonialism. What the heck does all this mean?

I've watched a lot of queer media in my life, from John Waters movies to more contemporary modern queer cinema like "Portrait of a Lady on Fire" and "The Handmaiden". I even watched through all six seasons of "The L Word". I had the original DVD box set and everything. But when I think of queer cinema, I think of camp. I think of old classics from the seventies and eighties and nineties. The Watermelon Woman, To Wong Foo, But I'm a Cheerleader!, Female Trouble, etc.

Our Flag Means Death is very camp. I'm not comparing it to classic queer cinema, it's a completely different experience from, say, watching a John Waters movie. But the show clearly pulls influence from classic queer cinema, at the very least for aesthetic purposes, i.e. Wee John's drag look in "Calypso's Birthday" heavily inspired by drag queen Divine. What makes Our Flag Means Death unique is it's artful sincerity and unabashed queerness for a show made so long after artful sincerity and unabashed queerness have become "taboo" in Western cinema.

This isn't me trashing modern queer cinema and modern queer fiction. I immensely enjoyed The Handmaiden and Badhaai Do, two excellent pieces of queer cinema that have come out within the past decade. Our Flag Means Death has entered the coveted position of best queer TV show I've personally seen in a very long time because of it's artful sincerity and unabashed queerness, not because it's better than anything that came before it...because it's not better or worse than anything that came before it! OFMD is it's own thing, it's own vibe, it's own story.

Our Flag Means Death is a story. And you can either engage with the story as written or engage only with certain small parts of it. The disconnect between audience and writers (and I say this as a writer myself) is that writers (most of them anyway) write stories for a media literate audience. But fundamentally, you do not need to reach a certain threshold of media literacy before you are allowed to engage with a story...you just engage. And this is both bad and good. No one should be barred from engaging with a story because they won't get it or even can't get it. Because if we prevent people who don't get it from engaging with the text, how are they ever going to learn how to engage with the text? They won't, is the answer. You can't gaslight gatekeep girlboss people into media literacy.

Our Flag Means Death is not a complex story. It's very straightforward. If you do not understand what the story is doing, it's not because you're being tricked or lied to: it's because, somewhere along the line, you've misunderstood. So when the story isn't making sense, it's useful to ask yourself: is this bad writing or have I misunderstood what's being said? And sometimes it is bad writing! Sometimes it is! But which is more likely: it's all bad writing or I've personally misunderstood what the story is trying to do? If you don't understand what a story is doing, all these little moments might look like bad writing--because your brain does not know what's happening! Your brain is trying to put a puzzle together but the pieces are all flipped over so you can't see the actual picture!

What is Our Flag Means Death is trying to do? If it's trying to do anything at all, what is it? And why does it make perfect sense for some people while others are confused, angry, even upset? And do they have a right to be? Fundamentally, if you think a story is trying to do something and it's failing at that, you have a right to be upset--and stories have a right to try and fail! That does not necessarily make the story objectively bad!

Our Flag Means Death is trying to commentate on masculinity. Like the oft misunderstood Fight Club (coincidentally, Fight Club was written by a gay man). This is relevant. It's actually all very relevant. There is a difference between what Our Flag Means Death is attempting to do vs. what it actually does. And the line between is thin to the point of nonexistence. The discussion surrounding masculinity and what it means to be a man is just so vast, so entangled with white colonialism and imperialism and racism that any discussion requires an understanding of how these systems function. And Our Flag Means Death invites this discussion--perhaps not intentionally, but it's there. It has to be there. We can't talk about what it means to be a man without talking about race. You cannot write a story featuring an indigenous brown man that partially centers masculinity without at least grazing these topics, intentionally or unintentionally.

This show is a comedy. A romantic comedy. I know that. We all know that. It's not going to spend forty minutes talking about race and colonialism. What it is going to do is have an indigenous man choke out a white colonizer while reading a love letter from his foppy fem boyfriend. What it is going to do is have little Ed murder his abusive white father to protect his mother. What it is going to do is have a bunch of British colonizers die horrifically after being poisoned by a black woman whose establishment they took over. What it is going to do is have Stede burn down a ship full of racist aristocrats while making sure we (the audience) see the servants escaping on a boat in the background while several of the aforementioned aristocrats jump off the burning ship to their probable deaths.

ed you are so fucking hot holy fuck oh my godd holy fuck

Ahem.

Our Flag Means Death is not a subtle show. So when it looks you directly in the eye and says "HEY!! THIS CHARACTER IS BULLYING THIS OTHER CHARACTER WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A FEMININE GAY MAN! I WONDER WHY THAT IS HMMM???" you should perhaps take that into consideration.

This show loves it's small details, it's winks and nods at the audience. Stede not wearing his rings the morning after "Calypso's Birthday", Wee John having a place to sit at all times, etc. But when it comes to overarching super important plot points? It's never whispered, always shouted. Or whatever Hozier said.

"Some namby-pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend" --Izzy to Ed "A proper little seductress" --Izzy to Lucius "Who's the big gal?" --Jack to/about Stede "a heavyset woman in a silk dressing gown" --one of the British naval officers about Stede

White colonial masculinity tightens a proverbial vice around all the men in Our Flag Means Death. Some of them die for it. Others overcome and live beyond it. But it is a system enforced through emotional and physical violence. Bullying from your peers, threats of physical or emotional retaliation for stepping out of line. The coveted status of Man (patriarch, father, husband) and the inferior status of Woman (mother, wife) that must never touch. The status of Failed Man (feminine, weak, soft).

I think Orville Peck and Willie Nelson said it first.

"And I believe to my soul that inside every man is the feminine And inside every lady, there's a deep manly voice loud and clear" ... "And inside every lady, there's a cowboy who'd love to come out And inside every cowboy, there's a lady who'd love to slip out"

The answer to the question What is Our Flag Means Death trying to do? is a simple one. The show tells us, in very few words, what it is trying to do. The answer to Does it succeed in what it's trying to do? is subjective.

Stede's escape from traditional colonial masculinity and his subsequent disavowing of it are subjective interpretations. But what is objective is how Our Flag Means Death chooses to approach masculinity. "Gal", "woman", "namby-pamby", and "seductress" are words used against the least traditionally masculine characters by characters who (arguably) exemplify what being a man is supposed to look like--in other words, they are being degraded by men who exemplify that traditional colonial masculinity. And because they exemplify traditional colonial masculinity, degrading men who do not follow the doctrine is an essential part of that. There must be the status of Man, the status of Woman, and the status of Failed Man that overlaps with the status of Woman. Stede is the Failed Man who overlaps with the status of Woman.

And what of Edward Teach?

This is where the status of Man, Woman, Failed Man, Failed Woman becomes less relevant. Because of course it's all fucking made up and the whole damn concept of the gender binary is colonial nonsense. But it is especially colonial nonsense when we're talking about an indigenous brown man whose concepts of masculinity are so very removed culturally from the fast encroaching shadow of colonization. The divide becomes more vast and deliberate than when we talk about Stede, because Ed and Stede's concepts of what it means to be a man are not fundamentally identical. And then we arrive at the part where Ed chokes out a British colonizer with one hand while reading a letter from his boyfriend with the other hand. And you know, it's very hot and I think we need more of that.

"Calypso's Birthday" is a celebration of queer love and queer joy and it's also where the themes of masculinity and embracing the feminine become so relevant. Because what else is there to say, except how much of this episode hinges on the transformative powers of love and the transformative powers of self-expression through gender fuckery? Wee John and Jim in drag, Izzy (the guy who spent most of last season getting upset that everyone on the fag ship was fagging it up all over the place) in drag, Stede and Ed's first time. And let's not forget the original plan for Episode 6 was for Stede to get a sexy makeover that involved him wearing eyeliner. We were robbed and I will be mad about this for the next 20,000 years.

There's a part of Our Flag Means Death that's about the transformative power of love and another about how toxic masculinity literally kills and another about how artful sincerity is more attractive than ruthless cynicism in fictional media and a big huge one about how you can't critique traditional toxic masculinity without getting into these discussions about colonialism. And Our Flag Means Death does these things very well, even when it's not doing them very well it's still doing them okay. I think the gay pirate show is going to be one of those "classic" pieces of queer media that people look back on fifty or so years from now in the same way people look at queer cinema from the seventies, eighties, nineties, etc. "Oh, Our Flag Means Death? That was a fun time. I wish there were more shows like that nowadays".

[rallamajoop]

Portraits of Miranda's family: Image assets and renders

Have some assets and object renders of all those fancy portraits of Miranda, Donna and Lady D and her daughters! There are also many more portraits of Miranda herself to be found all over the village, of course, but I've posted those before. Not sure exactly why the Dimitrescu portrait is so much lower-res than the others (the actual picture is plenty big in-game), but this is the only version of it I could find in the game files.

The painting of the three daughters is (as you've probably heard before) based on a real painting by George Theodore Berthon called "The Three Robinson Sisters" ‒ and when I say "based on" what I mean of course is "it's the same picture, they've just tweaked the poses and added the Dimitrescu crest and a few extra details." But then, you can do that when a picture is over a hundred years out of copyright.

Whether the portraits of Dimitrescu and Donna were similarly based on specific historical art I do not know, though their faces look far more game-accurate, at least. Meanwhile, the portrait of Miranda so perfectly apes a thousand different madonna-with-baby images that I wouldn't be at all surprised if that slightly-creepy-baby comes direct from some original art piece, but who knows?

On a related note, has anyone else ever noticed the weird gender/class divide in Miranda's family? All five female family members appear in these flattering portraits (all seven if you count Angie and Eva), and Donna lives in a stately home and Dimitrescu in a castle, both attended by staff and servants. Heisenberg and Moreau, meanwhile, live in an old, run-down factory and a lake. The men do get their photos displayed in the church with everyone else's, of course, but that's hardly comparable to an actual painting.

There's arguably something of a technology divide too: though everything in the village seems old, Heisenberg's factory and the reservoir control mechanisms at least mark those areas as post-industrial revolution, and both feature major puzzles to get power generators running. But very little in Donna or Dimitrescu's domains would seem out of place in pre-Victorian times.

I don't think there's much meaning to be read into the gender divide (except inasmuch as you know Heisenberg plays up his filthy, lower-class persona just to get under Dimitrescu's skin) and I doubt it was even intentional. There's not much to suggest Miranda actively favours her 'daughters' over her 'sons', given Heisenberg's favoured treatment at Ethan's trial, and you definitely don't see the same kind of split in the Baker family of RE7, which gave us the gloriously revolting Marguerite. But as soon as you start digging into these characters, it's hard not to notice it all the same.

[celestemona]

WHERE YOU’RE HIS BELOVED S/O

but you don’t respect the law

pairing: neuvillette x former gang leader! reader

reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡

when you first started dating Neuvillette, the looks you both got on the street were pure admiration and a touch of envy. after all, it was no wonder why when the two of you exuded an unshakable elegance and the stares you exchanged with each other drew long sighs from even the most unromantic person.

wherever you went together people would whisper in delight, gossiping about your last date and pointing out on how you filled in what the other lacked. from your charming, mysterious personality to Neuvillette's seriousness and honesty, you and him were considered the most famous, beautiful and powerful couple in Fontaine — the definition of perfect for each other.

but many still wondered how the Chief Justice got his heart stole after spending the last few years rejecting any potential partners, because even the most senior citizens of the capital remember only seeing the iudex accompanied only by the eccentric hydro archon, to whom he served more as a responsible guardian than a right hand.

the truth was that for nearly a decade you had been in Neuvillette's crosshairs. or rather, in the crosshairs of the law.

what the hydro nation’s population didn’t imagine was that behind your sweet smiles and kind words was hiding an ambitious, astute woman and former head of one of the most famous illegal organizations in Fontaine with connections throughout Teyvat. and for years you managed to manage and expand your business without the goddess herself being suspicious of all the illegal activities that went on under her nose.

at that time, you didn't know which of the fontanian authorities to watch out for and so you loosened the reins. unfortunately or not, that was your downfall so you couldn't hide from the Chief Justice for very long — in fact, you actually did.

the only relationship that Neuvillette had for all the decades (centuries) he was alive was with his responsibility, therefore, it wasn’t difficult for you to use the art of persuasion and seduction to get rid of the main objectives of the man who was to take you to court and condemn you for your crimes.

for months you've been successful in your escapes, using your wiles, wits and contacts to hide any evidence that could land you in trial.

however, it wasn't until you ended up stumbling into your own trap that you found yourself willingly surrendering to the dragon-man.

it was only when you partially abandoned the illegal business that you then started dating, though. Neuvillette might love you irrevocably but he wouldn't date someone who was involved in fraud or smuggling — besides, you too were tired of your old life and so left your leader's chair to your most faithful and trusted friend.

although you now had a good business as a florist in the hydro capital, you still pulled strings to smuggle some rare flowers from Sumeru or seeds only found in the heart of Natlan to your shop. Neuvillette would usually stare at you in disapproval, but then forget to give you a lecture for the way you managed to distract him with kisses and sweet talk.

“last time this month, my love. i promise."

“ma chérie, you said that last week.”

“i know i know! but do you know Colette? that kind lady who always offers us the freshest macarons from her thursday batches? she loved the popularity of Kalpalatas in her bakery and made me an order of sixty of them, can you believe that? Kalpalatas are not easy to find, mon amour. no no.”

Neuvillette could only sigh in weariness, the silver engagement ring on his right ring finger glinting as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“make sure the goods arrive before dawn on tuesday.”

smiling mischievously you declared “i love you.”

even if this new life was quite different from your original character, no one could dispute how it fit you so well. even your former subordinates had only positive comments to make about how the domestic routine suited you. and you really wouldn't change a thing about it because you were never as happy as you were with the man who lay down beside you every night, and dawned with his arms tightly around you.

if anything, you wouldn't change anything in your life because that way you would never meet Neuvillette.

even if there was still so much difference between the two of you, there couldn't be a better relationship of companionship and understanding than that.

that must be the reason why that instead of running away again, you preferred to be caught.

[exodusin]

♱ — 𝕬𝖓 𝖚𝖓𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖍𝖞 𝖔𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓 𖤐 yandere!bill cipher x goth!reader ; MOSTLY triangle bill and some FEW human bill in some parts, human bill is based off this design, no twinkification of the nation, stalking, manipulation, gore, abuse, just overall out of pocket, there will be smut but it is consensual, NO NONCON we don’t do that here, reader’s personality is kind of based of Henrietta Biggle from South Park

TW; childhood trauma, bullying, abuse, torture, stalking, creepy ass behavior, manipulation

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖚𝖊

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

August 25, 2016 — Gravity Falls, Oregon

You and your best friend, Wendy Corduroy, were at the mini-store plazas in downtown Gravity Falls, looking for stuff for college. You were entering the art field, despite your mother's objections that you should study something more lucrative. But you didn't mind; just one year of arts wouldn't hurt. You wanted to pursue something you truly enjoyed.

You picked up a few goth band pins for your backpack: Siouxsie and The Banshees, The Cure, Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, etc.

"Dude! Tambry is back. It's been a while since we've seen her," Wendy said, showing you a recent text from Tambry about returning to Gravity Falls. You exhaled smoke from your lips and smiled.

"How's she doing? Did she mention anything about me?" you asked. Wendy shook her head. "Not yet, but hopefully she'll be excited to see us. I think she's still a bit... traumatized by the apocalypse."

"I think everyone is, but we cope with the 'Nevermind that!' thing... It kind of works for me," you said casually. It had been frightening to think about but knowing your abusive mom had been turned to stone made you feel slightly better.

Shaking off the thought, you continued walking and talking with Wendy. You both were headed to the Mystery Shack for work. Upon arrival, you clocked in and placed your backpack near your workspace.

"There you are!" You smiled at the familiar voice of Soos, the coolest manager ever, especially since Grunkle Stan retired in a way.

"Good news, dudettes! You two are getting a raise!" Soos announced.

You and Wendy looked at each other and grinned. "Wait, really?" Wendy asked excitedly.

"Of course! I understand college is a money grab, dudes," Soos chuckled. "Does $19 an hour work?"

"Better than okay, it's perfect!" you exclaimed. Tambry walked into the shack, her hair a bit longer this time, grinning when she saw both of you and Wendy.

"Guys!"

"Tambry!" You and Wendy exclaimed, giving each other a group hug, reminiscing about 2012.

"Purple-haired girl! Is it Tambry? Please correct me, dudes," Soos said as he joined the hug.

"You guys are crushing my bones..." Tambry groaned but chuckled.

"Now that we have a strong trinity of young ladies, I want you three to find something, anything that can attract tourists, as long as it isn't hazardous. Make something up, just like the old Stan ways!" Soos smiled. Tambry looked at him. "But I don't work for you?"

"Oh, come on! It's a good excuse for you three girls to have a night out and go on some sort of scavenger hunt."

"That feels like something Dipper and Mabel would do," you said, memories flooding back.

"Better get going now. Melody is making bomb enchiladas, and I don't want you dudes missing out."

"Bet, c’mon, let’s go see what this creepy-ass town has to offer," you said, grabbing your black trench coat with goth band patches, unaware of the reptilian slit on the moon watching you—only you—invisible to others, but you remained oblivious.

Oh, dearest

Oh, my dearest

[howlingday]

hey, remember my accidental villain jaune au? the one where he was a shonen anime villain and pyrrha was the hero but jaune had no idea what was going on actually? I'm curious what a scene of that would look like written by you. would you mind giving us a taste?

Hm... I guess I can give it a shot. Show you how I'd make this series if I thought of it.

--------------------------------------------------

"So, uh, what's your name?"

"My name?" He chuckled. "What is a name when the deed is more worth remembering?" Jaune had practiced this line time and time again. His weeks in drama club, acting classes, and practicing in front of the mirror made certain his performance was perfect. Maybe if this girl was really impressed, she'd want to hang out with him more.

"Uh, yeah, I guess?" She giggled. "So you want to be remembered as Vomit Boy for the rest of the school-year?"

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! THE MISSION HAS FAILED! NEW MISSION OBJECTIVE: DON'T CRY IN FRONT OF THE COOL GIRL!

"Ah... No..." Jaune felt his body go rigid. His face must've been beet-red from this embarrassment. "Uh, my name is Jaune. Jaune Arc." He lifted his shaking fingers and shifted them into shaking finger-guns. "Sh-Short, sweet, and rolls off the tongue. The- The ladies l-love it~!"

She snorted. "Do they really?"

"Uh... They do. Or, they will..." Jaune could just die.

"Well, I'm Ruby. Ruby Rose." She raised her fingers into less shaky finger-guns. "And I'm also a Shadow Masque fan~!"

"Oh, that's good..."

"What were you trying to accomplish by doing that, anyways?"

"I was... trying to look in front of you."

"Aw... You don't have to do that." Ruby put a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't?" Jaune replied, hope brewing in his eyes.

"You already threw up on my sister's shoe. There's no coming back from that." Jaune slumped forward, exhausted. As he did, a thin slab of metal wobbled from his side. "Hey, what's that?"

"What's what?" Jaune looked up, noticing Ruby eyeing his weapon. "Oh! This is my sword." He clicked it open, extending the sides into a kite shield. "Oh, and uh, shield, too."

"Wow..." Ruby gazed in awe. "It's so retro!"

"Yeah, I borrowed it from my-" Jaune blinked. "Ret- Retro?"

"Yeah, you don't see a lot of classic weapons these days."

"W-Well, it's not that retro!" Jaune clicked his shield, compacting it into a sheath. "See?! It's easier to carry now!"

"But wouldn't it still be just as heavy?"

"Y... Yeah..." She giggled. "Well, what makes your weapon so state-of-the-art?"

"Well, I wouldn't call her state-of-the-art, but..." Ruby whipped out her weapon, as Jaune watched helplessly as it mecha-shifted into a massive scythe almost twice his size! "...Crescent Rose gets the job done~."

Jaune fell to his knees. He was going to throw up. He was going to throw up right here, in front of this younger student with the cooler weapon than he could have ever dreamed of. He could honestly cry if not for one thing he still had on his side... IMPROV!

He chuckled. "An impressive class of weapon, Miss Rose~." She blushed. "I look forward to seeing her in action." He leaned in close. "And yourself, too~."

"Oh, stop~!" She squirmed at the compliment. There was an announcement on the PA system. She shook her thoughts clear. "Uh, we should probably make our way to the auditorium, right?"

"Yeah, we should." Jaune dropped the act, regaining his composure. "Uh, lead the way!"

"I thought you were leading the way?" Ruby asked. The two stared at one another before they both slumped with a sigh. "Let's find a map."

--------------------------------------------------

"Why, hello there, my dears~."

"Huh?"

"Hello~!"

"I couldn't help but overhear you two talking about forming a team." Jaune smiled a devilish smile. "May I perhaps join you in this endeavor?"

"The only endeavor is listening to you talk." The young woman in white muttered under her breath.

"Well, I think I'd rather just let fate decide who's on what team." The young woman in bronze answered.

"You mean the same fate that brought me to you?" He gave a bow, his hand crossing over her chest as he dipped low, not looking up once. "Jaune Arc, future huntsman."

"My, aren't you confident?"

"Too confident." Weiss huffed. "Jaune, is it?"

"It is." He looked up, offering his hand to her, palm up. "And you are~?"

"Annoyed, actually." She said with flared nostrils. "But if you must know my name, it's Weiss Schnee." She gestured to her friend. "And do you know her name?"

"No, but I would like to~." The unknown girl giggled at his words, while Weiss only got angrier.

"Oh, stop~!"

"Yes, please, stop! This is Pyrrha Nikos!"

"A pleasure, Miss Nikos."

"Please, call me Pyrrha!"

"I'm sorry, I don't think you heard me." Weiss retracted. "This is THE Pyrrha Nikos!"

"The one and only, of course." Jaune kept laying on the charm, making her blush. It quickly stopped when Weiss grabbed his nose and tugged it down. "OW!"

"Pyrrha Nikos! Regional Champion of Mistral! Top graduate of Sanctum! THAT Pyrrha Nikos!"

Jaune stepped back, rubbing his nose. "Uh... Sorry. None of that rings a bell. Should I know you?"

"Have you been living under a rock?!" Weiss nearly screeched. "She's on the face of Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes!" Jaune gasped, and Weiss let out a sigh of exasperation. "Finally..."

"Oh, that was you! I thought you looked familiar!" Jaune lifted his chest-plate to reveal the bunny hoodie beneath. "I ate, like, fifty boxes to get this thing!"

"Oh, I... bet they were scrumptious..."

"Not really." Jaune admitted, bringing his armor down. "They tasted like cardboard to be honest."

"Yeah, they did..." Pyrrha reminisced on less happy days.

"Well, Pyrrha," Jaune offered his hand to her, "I'd be more than happy to see a woman of your skill on my team."

"How about a demonstration?" Weiss asked, looking to Weiss. She nodded to Jaune, and the celebrity sighed.

"I'm really sorry about this." Pyrrha said as she stood up.

"Sorry about WHOA!" Jaune was now pinned to the wall of the locker-room, held aloft by Pyrrha's spear. She reached up and yanked it out, apologizing as she passed.

"So, this is Dork Masque, huh?" A girl asked as she passed by, Ruby close behind.

"Don't be mean, Yang!" She looked back to Jaune. "Uh, see you later, Jaune."

He sighed. "Yeah... See ya."

He stood up and brushed himself off. Reaching behind him, he felt the hole in the hood of his one victory in life. He took a deep breath and shuffled to the exit as he sighed. Hopefully there won't be worse understanding like this. Thinking back on it, though, this dark persona he'd fashioned from Dark Masque seemed to be working. Maybe he could play around with it for just a little bit longer. He'd have to come up with a cooler name, though. Something like...

DARK ARC

...except, y'know, less lame.

[candyredmusings]

Harvester (1996) Sentence Starts

A whole mix bag, but mostly NSFT and/or crack Change pronouns/gendered terms as needed!

"You killed your family?"

"You always were a kidder, [NAME]!"

"You can't live without a spinal cord, son. Nothing unnatural about that."

" You'll rot your mind playing games like that..."

"Is God a jar of strawberry preserves, a size 12 sneaker, a footlong Hogie, an all-expense paid trip to Brazil, or a NEWWW CARRRRR?"

"Pot roast isn't for backstabbers. For persecutors! I won't share my meat with him!"

"Hello, [NAME]. Care to stay for some pot roast?"

"My meat! MY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Ah, shit! Ah, shit on a stickaroo!"

"What are you talking about, this TV is brand new! There are no TVs with color on them."

"When a bee stings, it rips itself apart and dies for its audacity. This appeals to those worshipping a God that demands sacrifice and atonement. But the wasp is promiscuous. They are not as sympathetic to the masses because they don't die when they sting. They live to sting another day... and they take pleasure from that."

"Cut the crap. We both know you set that fire."

" I'm not threatening you...I just want to help."

"You can't shoot me... I'm an American! I have rights!"

"Ahhh... art's for Commies, anyway."

" You're a little vain, huh?"

"Uh, you're not that hot... get over it, toots."

"Yeah, I offed him all right."

"Nah, a nice fairy left it under my pillow."

"You're welcome to have this evidence, with my compliments."

"But what about civic responsibility?"

"You're a little brat."

"But you're a woman."

"Sure, I'd love to get it on with the ladies!"

"What's communism got to do with anything?"

"How can you SAY something so horrible?"

"[NAME]'s a swell name! My dog's name is [NAME]!"

"Nothing like an exploding head to get the blood pumping. . . . Literally, that is."

"The hell it is! You always were a kidder, [NAME]. Any real news to tell me?"

"I mean I don't know anyone! I don't remember anything! How many times do I have to say it?!"

"I need to feel something again."

"Yeah, I know what that crazy little bitch said, but it's not true!

"What makes you so sure she needs a penis?"

"I'd rather die than become as twisted as you."

"Would I kid about something like that? Why won't you believe me?"

"Screwing in the school broom closet. What will people think?"

"I did not speak, but my mind touched yours."

"I expect nothing. What must unfold will."

"Sure would be nice to have one'a them girly pi'cher books..."

"I don't know what it is about marriage that turns even the bravest man into a coward!"

"[NAME] has a... a liking for me. I'd call it a crush, but that's too innocent a word."

"That child needs a father. . . and [NAME], well she needs a good, hard penis."

"Money isn't everything for a woman. Can money keep you warm at night? Can you wrap your thighs around it, or rake bloody gashes in its back with your painted, harlot fingernails?

"There's things you don't know about the family business... but you'll learn."

"I am glad to see you taking an interest in the business in your dad's absence."

"Safeguards? There ARE NO SAFEGUARDS ... This is the fifties."

"Sometimes I hide in there beforehand, and daddy-o, I seen some stuff that's real nasty!"

"You were always a smiley bear."

"I know it's a mystery to you... The sacred things husbands and wives do behind closed doors."

"I could use a little relaxation ... But since [NAME] isn't here, I guess I'll talk to you."

"I'd rather die than become as twisted as you."

"You insult my beauty?"

"Well that didn't work."

"Shocked? This is the mystery of motherly love."

"Everyone says motherhood is fulfilling, when in reality it's draining."

"Violence is as American as apple pie and low SAT scores!"

"From the start, children are parasites. That's what you've got to understand."

"How about some cookies? There's some rejects in the trash!"

"I'm not a person, [NAME], I'm an object."

"Young man/woman/one, we really have nothing to say to each other."

"Say, can you spare a dime for a buckaroo who's down on his luck?"

"Things'll never be the same now. Guess I'll be watching TV tonight..."

"Well, I hope you're proud of yourself ... Killing my clientele."

"Excuse me, you can't come in right now, I just mopped the floor."

"I don't remember you."

"Land's sakes! Stop your joshing, wont you?"

"You look just like my mom ... Except for the hair."

"There's nothing bizarre about baking cookies."

"Only those who seek enlighten warrant my attention."

"I've never believed in the old adage, 'spare the rod and spoil the child' ... A rod is too thin. But baseball bat, that works quite nicely."

"My stars that was exciting!"

"Good women can be awfully hard on a man's needs, don't'cha know."

"That man gives me the willies ... Speaking of willies, how's your father?"

"That's right, I am the law ... And I'm on my lunch hour."

"Sometimes, I hide in there beforehand and daddy-o! I've seen some stuff that's really nasty!"

"Are you blackmailing us, you little shit?"

"Why are you covering up for him [NAME?]"

"Obviously, [NAME] is a lesbian."

"Lack of respect for authority ... A fine trait!"

[sketchfanda]

Kirishima’s Mystique:Criminal Files

Ghost of a Chance

The following you are about to read are among a few select reports from classified files in regards to numerous quirked individuals among the hero and villain communities both nationwide and internationally. It is here we start with a recent investigation into an activity report on one Dawna Fenton, codename Dawna Phantom, an infamous vigilante. Despite saying tons of lives in her hometown of Amity park in the USA, she is seen as a bringer of disaster and a criminal with quirk she is considered unworthy of. This in turn had lead to her having to resort to taking up vigilantism as a means of at least being able to do her ungateful community some service.

Quirk - Phantom a quirk that enables her to do anything a ghost can from flight to intangibility and laser beams. This has ranged from being able to render herself invisible to being able to posses both inanimate objects and living beings alike. This has also included some minor psychic abilities such as telekinesis. Overall a versatile, unorthodox quirk with creative applications.

She'd proven capable outmaneuvering the legally registered heroes on multiple occasions and at times proves more competent but after a recent incident in her Amity park, where she was wrongly accused of being a villain due especially to the quite high level of collateral damage, she'd decided then and there enough was enough and that they are on their own before flying off. Soon aimlessly wandering and drifting about until she eventually reached Japan and opted to low in her more quirkless looking human form and decided to spend some time with a little sightseeing and enjoying the local culture. Particularly the video arcades wherein she would come to meet the trio of Mina, Maya and Tsuyu who, unknown to her, were out on equal parts a girls' night out and looking for a potential new playmate for their sturdy stud.

Immediately feeling quite attracted to the 3 girls, she hit them up with a little friendly banter and some flirting, hoping for some fun times which would really help brighten her mood and help her forget all about the jerks back at Amity. They seemed to quite like what they saw in Dawna of course, digging the bimbo vibe she had going on in terms of her looks and body language but Tsuyu, direct and blunt as ever stated they'd more down for a little action. However, she revealed, their man would have to get involved, a condition which rather surprised yet intrigued the ghost-like girl to say the very least. Dawna, of course, was bi-curious and has been for some time, especially after hearing how some friend of hers got together and nonchalantly bragged about how good a lay it was so of naturally to sate her curiosity and secure her much needed urge to relieve her stress, she gladly accepted to go along it.

With that matter settled and sorted, the trio wasted no time in taking the blonde bimbo-looking new lady friend-to be back with them to where they met up with Kirishima at their place. Their ever devoted boyfriend having just arrived back from patrol and no doubt ready to go wild to relax and work off some stress which of course suited his alpha girls just fine as they introduced him to Dawna. Who couldn't help but blush because hot damn wasn't often she came across a guy that was 5050 on being cute and handsome but he was certainly not meathead like the chumps on the Amity high football team, especially Dash and Kwan. Seeing she was more than okay with their stud's good looks, the trio urged them on inside where the clothes went flying soon as they were in the bedroom and opted to sit back and let their new friend have first round.

Now of course the ghost quirk bimbo was blushing and a bit nervous to find herself naked and surrounded by so much sexiness particularly with Mina, Maya and Tsuyu so eager to see her go at it. But the moment she laid eyes on Kirishima's work of art that was his physique and that length and girth of meat between his legs, any doubts, worries or hesitations fucked off especially once the sturdy stud got up close and personal. And showed that he was really quite the damn good kisser and from the way hus hands were touching her showed it was no small surprise how well he knew his way around a woman's body. Moaning and gasping as her arousal skyrocketed, the surge of bliss and pleasure making her forget all about her grief and hassle back in Amity, right now was all about having this hunk rock her world.

And oh was it being rocked as she was giving off moans not of a ghostly nature but more erotic and sensual as she soon found herself having quite the first time. She'd figured lsoing her virginity was going to be painful but no surprise Kirishima knew how to make her feel fan-fucking-tastic as she was riding cowgirl style on that damn fine cock of his. Her bubbly asscheeks clapping and her tits bouncing with the impact and momentum of pleasure, unable to help herself as her blonde hair and blue eyes turned snow white and neon green indicating she'd shifted into her ghost mode. But of coruse she was feeling way too damn good to give a damn about exposing her identity like this as fell forward to plant her lips on Kirishima's, caring only about wanting to have this himbo make her feel like a porn star!!

Dawna was feeling so turned to a point that she even used her ability to create copies of herself to bring Mina, Maya and Tsuyu into the fun, feeling it was the best way to show thanks for this experience. Proceeding to commence with an 8 way orgy which proved to be quite intense for her thanks to the feedback from her clones particularly when it came to Mina’s sensual zero acid body oil and Tsuyu’s amazing tongue. They even found themselves winding up floating in the air when she's with Kirishima, due to how horny she was that her telekinesis was going all poltergeist or rather poltergasm eventually leading to them dropping on the bed hard enough to break it. The clones gone and leaving the ghost girl in a tangle heap of sweaty bodies and limbs with the sturdy stud and his alpha girls, eyes wide and faces flushed admits the afterglow as they all thought “Well THAT happened!!”

Of course he moment Dawna asked if they wanted to go again, she found herself in the receiving end of Kirishima and his girls’ amorous affections showing they were down for round 2 onwards. Suffice to say that the Phantom girl found her personal vacation become a lot more fun but hey when you’re in the sexual company of a teddy bear himbo snd his 3 horny, sexy girlfriends? How could it not be especially when it made he forget all about her troubles and issues back in at home where she was sure the folks were hardly missing her at all. Though the notifications blowing up on her phone certainly said otherwise.

Seems Amity was having in its crime rate not long after Dawna went on her sabbatical and the city council was having a major crisis on its hands. Citizens were complaining, quirk misuse was running rampant and of course what local pros they had on hand were proving next to useless or worthless!! Scrambling about to try and get in contact with the Phantom heroine as soon as they could and yes you can guarantee they had prepared one hell of an apology with some options for negotiations. Oh sure she'd get in touch eventually...maybe in another week or so once she had her fun a little more with Kirishima of course....reap what you sow bitches...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She-going all night!!

In this case file, we come to the infamous Shego who as in certain other universe, had promising start in the field of superheroics but at this time was still with her brothers working together as Team Go, a legally licenced and registered pro hero team. However after an incident that lead to a lot of collateral property damage, she was was arrested and sent to jail much to her dismay, confusion and annoyance of course though something told her the eldest brother Hego was to blame. After breaking out, thanks to some new friends she made among the inmates, as with most versions of her she became a mercenary thief for hire out of necessity and to make a living rather than just take up being a super criminal for the sheer thrill of it, not to mention the boredom and annoyance of dealing with her brothers and their personality eccentricities. Though that might have played a key part in it especially, to quote her, "that pretentious blowhard wanna-be All Might knockoff Hego!!"

But of course the thrills of her career on the other side still had its moments to say nothing of how fruitful the payday was and the odd occasion she found messing with some of the local heroes in the small town of Middleton. It more then helped to give quite a boost to her reputation which in turn lead to better, higher paying clients especially among those within the criminal underworld. Which was lead to her being Hired by a recent client to infiltrate UA and get some prime information to exploit or sell for some major high bids. Now most would scoff at the idea of infiltrating one of the most secure hero schools in Japan, more so since the boost in reputatio after the infamous war with All for One but Shego welcomed the challenge, it certainly helped she had the perfect cover to infiltrate by masquerading as a newcomer teacher transferring in for a potential job application.

It'd helped she had that teaching degree for some legitimacy and soon as "Ms.Go" was in, she wasted no time in planning out how to get that intel as she figured that the best way to do that is by getting laid with one of their students. Okay so she was maybe a little horny but come on, what guy couldn't resist singing like a canary with a hot sexy woman? Izuku was one option she saw for potential and he was a cute dweeb but he was currently with another woman (Ochako) and clearly not open to being seduced. There was also that little grape dude but she immediately felt her skin crawl when she saw him and don't even get her started on those 2 blonde kids, the egomaniac and the guy with obvious anger management issues.

It was tough going honestly as UA had plenty of young bucks who were easy on the eyes but when it came to personality, it was a whole different story or the off chance they were already taken. The electric guy had that punk rock girl, that Todoroki guy had both issues and a girl (who was quite bold and daring for her choice of outfit), the guy with glasses was way too uptight, so on and so forth. It was looking like she'd either have to chance it with the teachers or indulge in her bisexual nature and maybe play a little hot lesbian fun with one of the female students instead. But lo and behold she seemed to have found an answer to her prayers that made her issue a moot point.

She settled on none other than Kirishima seeing him as a prime target given his rep as a local stud, seriously a guy with 2 girlfriends that got around? Talk about a sign from the universe showing it was working in her favor as the jade plasma wielder wasted no time in pouring on the charm and passed herself as the seemingly eager, naive newbie teacher who had a hidden side. Mainly that she couldn't help but feel so vulnerable and drawn to such cute, macho types like him, even throwing in a puppy dog pout for good measure. Soon as he had the meathead stuttering and stammering, she knew she had him hook, line and sinker as she had him show her around campus as her unofficial tour guide.

Now of course she had to make sure to keep playing up the seduction vibes like holding his arm close towards to perky tits and make with quips on how felt like he must really workout. More so as she wrangled him around to take her to his dorm room where of course his personal school computer was, just what she needed to that much valued intel and data but hey who says you can't mix business and pleasure? So of course once they were inside and he shut the door, she wasted no time catching him off guard as she stripped down to her lacey bra and panties to which she took delight in his stunned reaction. Before proceeding to press forward with the momentum as she pounced and wrapped herself around, locking lips with him to shove her tongue into his mouth and start making out with him and intent on overwhelming him with her skill and experience in the sexual arts.....at least that'd been how it was supposed to go....

That night saw the two going at it hard with no end in sight from the moment they started this intense marathon session of lust and passion much to her shock and disbelief. Who knew this guy was such a beast in the sack and yet her goal was so close yet so far with Shego just needing to connect a thumb drive to his laptop which in turn would connect it to a device for her clients that'd grant them access to the personal and private data systems of UA, giving them all the information. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done as Shego had clearly underestimated Kirishima's prowess and was soon finding herself stretched to her limit, currently front flat on the bed and taking it prone bone. Her bubbly asscheeks jiggling with every impact of that jackhammering cock, small wonder she hadn't used her plasma powers to set the bed on fire due to the intense orgasms she was feeling, she just had to single out a total sex machine!!

She tried to go through with her mission whenever she could in between moments of rest but her luck fell through as she got caught by Mina and Maya entering along with Tsuyu (it so happened to be her heat cycle at the time), who were ready to join in after seeing their man in the company of a sexy new lady friend. All her focus and efforts now further beyond doomed as she was now sandwiched between 3 horny heroines in training and their total bull of a man and his addictive well...dick!!! By the time they were finally done, it was dawn and she sweaty, sticky and sore all over, her thumb drive lost and forgotten while she was trapped between a beefcake and 3 hot pieces of ass. Suffice to say it didn't take long for UA's faculty to locate her, let alone less time to let her know she was busted when they figured out that while her teaching degree was legit, the whole transfer was total bullshit so yeah the mission was a bust....

But of course she wasn't in too much trouble as she thought since it turned out Principal Nezu, ever the intelligent little rodent thing, was well aware of Shego's history and was curious when he saw what he felt were quite a lot of inconsistencies in some reports on her file, having determined and found out that the incident that caused to go on the run into the merc life wasn't caused by her. But by the incompetence of her brothers mainly and especially that lunk meathead Hego though she had to say she certainly wasn't surprised an was going to make sure his head would roll. With this little nugget of information clearing her conscience, it was then and there Shego offered to roll on and server her client for her mission in exchange for amnesty. When all was said and done, she had gotten herself a clean record and now had a cushy new career as a member of the HPSC and ooh did she get some satisfaction when it came to that meathead brother of hers.

As of the time since then Shego would be serving some time as a probationary hero under the eye of reformed former vigilante Gentle Criminal. As well as being regularly paired off with Kirishima as per her personal request because hey after how that himbo rocked her world? How could she pass up any chance to get herself another ride on the Red Riot experience whenever possible. And of course it was quite the partnership to say the least......but that's another report altogether.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Booty Plunder

This particular file excerpt is in regards to The infamous Tron Bonne, a mechanical genius and sister to the Teisel Bone the mechanical pirate villain, a criminal who was known for her pechant of attacking trade ships and stealing advanced technology. At the moment recently recorded in this report, the Bonne crew was found holding a harbor town hostage, commiting their usual routine snatch and grb operation as unknown to them, Kirishima and a few other heroes had snuck in. They of course had the displeasure of running into Tron herself who they had as a top priority to secure and capture. Having managed to grab her, Kirishima pulled her into a storage room with her struggling all the way as her crew and underlings were still being dealt with in all the mayhem

Tron tried to get free of course but found it quite difficult until she found that she got a reaction when she rubbed her perky booty against Kirishima's crotch and could feel it twitch and pulse. Getting an idea of the awful, wonderful variety, she began to grind and rub against him, intent on making the hardening hero drop his guard. However Kirishima is able to throw her off with a bit of effort much to her surprise and frustration but she wouldn't relent in the slightest when she found an advantage to seize. Freeing herself of the ropes he'd attempted to bind her up with, she up and jumped into Kirishima's lap before burying his face in her breasts intent on smothering him until he's unconscious from the no doubt overwhelming sensation of marshmallow heaven.

But this proves to have the opposite affect instead as Kirishima retaliated and grabbed the techno pirate, pinning her down and catching her off guard. More so as her earlier efforts with her luscious tits and ass had resulted in his instincts taking over as he pulled out the riot stick and tears open the pirate's pantyhose. Making the pirate babe gasp in shock and awe both at the sudden act of brutishness and the sight of his exposed cock and balls. She was no virgin by any means but she could certainly say that she'd never thought it possible for anyone of Kirishima's age to be packing such length and girth on them.

Tron almost wanted to yell at him to stop but noticing his size and their current intimate confinement in the heat of the moment made her realize just how horny she was as sensually bit her lip and spread her juicy thighs to welcome his invasive dominance. The chivalrous caveman stud proceeding then to show her just how much of riot he can be in the sheets as much as on the streets as he railing her like a machine as he had pressed her up against at box. Then bending her over another one with him holding her up by her hips as he railed her like an absolute beast, the sounds of fighting all around them as they overheard the other heroes moving in to capture the pirates that made up Tron's current misfit motley crew. Becoming lost in their own little erotic world with Tron getting herself a long overdue itch scratch as the Red Riot bull pounded her with his own hammer of justice.

Of course the hero and the current day pirate couldn't help but lose track of time to remember what was happening outside of their private little rut in this cargo area. Really who could them when Tron was having her insides getting rearranged by Kirishima's cock pounding her like a jackhammer while he himself was quite intoxicated by her body especially those set of temptations that were her tits and ass. So firm and delightful to the touch and so hypnotic to see them bounce, jiggle and clap like watching a lava lamp when it was really in motion. Only the occasional explosion or tremor outside reminding them briefly what was happening as the pair seemed intent on outlasting or overwhelming the other on some unofficial, unspoken war of attrition.

With Tron's ever rather adorable servbots even showing up at on point through their marathon, they knew the jig was about to be up and it was time to finish up and get back to business. But they both hide out of sight just as Tron has her final orgasm and Kirishima floods her insides with Tron playfully calling him an idiot for doing that to her with her kids in the room. Kirishima of course stumbled and stuttered an apology though she ensured him the little guys hadn't seen or heard anything they shouldn't have as the two managed to get cleaned up with the other heroes in the sting operation coming to arrest her. Tron wearing a bemused smile as she surrendered, shooting her hidden servbots a secret signal knowing they'd get the idea what to do next while she parted ways with Kirishima, seemingly putting up no fuss as she was loaded up and sent off to be processed and locked up with the rest of her crew.

In the aftermath of that operation, Tron's servbots made their escape as they scrambled and got to work on capturing their "mama's" signal with nobody the wiser as their presence, sometimes it helped being such adorable little robo minions. Kirishima was commended of course for his effort in managing to ensnare the infamous Tron Bonne single handedly and managing to subdue her in such a way that she surrendered without trouble. Not that Kirishima would, mind you understandably, ever say how and what really went down between him and the techno-pirate. In fact the only other people who'd ever know besides her and himself were his girlfriends and you can bet they were going to want and enjoy every juicy detail of this saucy encounter.....

In the midst of rounding up any and all remaining stragglers of Tron's crew during the operation in the meantime, one of the crates that had been knocked and shook up a bit during Kirishima and Tron's rut had caused a container inside one of them to be shaken around. Before being breached as the crate got unsettled enough to cause a crack, awakening who or whatever was inside it and break free. Busting itself out of the crate as its eyes adjusted to the darkness and light within the area before it sniffed around. Finding a torn shred of Kirishima's waist cape, soaked with some of his sweat which the thing picked up. Unusual sounds coming from it as it made its way out of the base in the general direction of Mustafu....only a few seconds waking up to the world and it already had a purpose and mission....

However trouble occured when mid transport to Tartarus, she managed to escape with the help of the ever devoted and loyal servbots. After which she took the helm of her vessel and put a picture of Red Riot on her dashboard which the serve bots see and say, "Yay, a new daddy!!!" to which Kirishima couldn't help but feels a sense of something like ice run down his back but he really hoped it'd be nothing. But given his prior luck with dangerously horny women during criminal raids, he highly doubted that'd be the case. Whether or not he'd ever see Tron again sooner or later, only time would tell for sure.

But of course his encounter with Tron Bonne and the impact he'd left on her wasn't the only thing that would come his way during that raid and its aftermath. For during the investigation and gathering of any intel or evidence from the crime scene, an unusual creature hidden among the wares had seemed to escape out of the cargo room and started making it way somewhere to the general Mustafu area as if looking for something or rather someone. It was an unusual little thing to say the very least....what could only be called a shark that walked on all fours on land, a single collar around his neck with a gold name tag that read "Jeff". The quite adorable little thing beaming with a big sharp toothy smile as the seemingly living plush toy made cute sounds, seeming intent to find whoever he was looking for...and would in the future make its way into the big heart of a new owner, a new home and the welcoming arms of 3 girls who could never say no to something so damn sweet and cute!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get Jinxed

The following report is classified for authorised viewing and reading only in regards to the ongoing rehabilitation of notorious Anarchist and Terrorist rabblerouser known as Jinx, real name unknown. Inmate had been captured after a major fracas when her sudden presence in the country had been discovered, certainly unexpected for some as she was never usually seen outside her own hometown territory. In spite of efforts to have her extradited back to there, the local law enforcement had sent them a response stating "She's your problem now!!"

But of course leave it Ms.Midnight to provide some relief to what was sure to be a hectic bureaucratic situation as she volunteered to take Jinx into the tender loving care of her special rehabilitation program. Ensuring that having her taken into the care and shelter of one of her students would be sure to set the bomber girl right and proper, even stating that it had shown results before. So this of course was how Jinx came to find herself residing as a guest in the apartment that was the love-nest of Kirishima and his ever kinky, loving girlfriends and figured she could get out of it by being a total brat stray. Oh if she only knew that was just what Midnight was counting on.....

But oh sure for Kirishima it was an adjustment to say the very least, mostly and mainly not helped by the fact Jinx was not making it any easier by being a total brat. Tagging her neon graffiti all over the guest room walls and ceilings, home-made explosive in the kitchen and don’t even get started in asking her to do chores. Just the amount of dishes piling up, waiting to be washed and dried was looking to be a germaphobe’s nightmare and of course the escapade attempts. Seems the anarchist engineer had a bit of an issue going stir crazy when cooped up in one place for too long plus you know being told what to do.

For Kirishima however, what seriously wasn’t helping matters was the fact he was building a whole lot of tension which he’d not had a chance to properly relieve himself of. It was hard to get a quickie or some quality time with Mina, Maya or Tsuyu without Jinx being a total interruption cockblock, nevermind trying to find time to have to rub one out because his bedroom was a no go and she kept hogging the damn bathroom!! That is when she wasn’t trying to barge the door down because she didn’t have any patience to wait for him to finish and he could only stand so much! At this rate his balls were feeling heavier than his whole body going unbreakable and if he didn’t get them drained soon, either he was going to blow first or they were, whichever came first.

With the way things were going, he would have to arrange for one of the girls to keep an eye on her and maybe see if one of his sex friends or booty calls to help him out. Maybe see if Syx had any shoots he could do for her for good measure when he came upon something that really raised his hackles. His train of thought about soothing his major case of blue balls derailed as he came upon Jinx seeming to run salt in the wound, all too aware what sort of tension she was causing him as she was playing a goddamn porno on the tv!! The volume at full blast to boot with the actress’ lusty moans of passion loud and clear as she as getting railed by a hung stud while Jinx looked on bored and indifferent as hell.

From the looks of it, Jinx, in her state of mind numbing boredom had raided and found his girls’ private personal collection of porn, to be precise his work from ManaWorld pictures!! The sturdy himbo recognizing the scene playing out on the screen all too well as Jinx nonchalantly looked over her shoulder at him, taunting him by asking if that was supposed to be him (it certainly was) and if so, well then the actress must've really had to fake it. Stating she had to feel sorry for his girlfriends for having to compensate for his no doubt sub-par skills if he had basically do porn just feel like man, which of course was when the dam burst and Kirishima's pent up libido proceeded to take control and set his brain on full caveman mode. Enough was enough and this cheeky little bitch was going to pay!!!

Before Jinx knew it, she was screaming her head off and filling the apartment with her howling cries and moans of raw passion as intense sexual bliss surged through her every nerve and flooded her brain with sweet ecstasy she never imagined was possible. But how could she not when she was naked along with Kirishima as the sturdy himbo had her bent over the couch, pounding her quite perky bubble buttcheeks with his powerful pelvis pumping like a jackhammer. Her toned, perky body at his mercy as he used her ultra long pigtail braids as handlebars, grasping and pulling them back to make her bend and arch her back which made her spine tingle with erotic pleasure. And she was loving it so damn much as her manic eyes burned with glowing pink hearts of lust, drooling as her face wore not an expression of boredom or casual manic pixie lunacy but a total ahegao indicating just how good Kirishima was fucking her.

He couldn't help but vent and unleash all his pent up sexual frustration on the mad bomber girl, all the interruptions of privacy and intimacy and now she up and messes with his girls' collection AND questions his manhood and libido?!! Might be why he was going so damn primal on her, like it was enough to fuck her deep and hard but to feel like he had to assert his dominance to the cheeky brat and show her just who was boss!! Now the fact she welcomed such alpha male behaviour happened to be a bonus as well as the fact it seemed she quite a kinky little bitch with her even urging him to choke her with those arms of his for good measure whenever possible no matter what positon they were in. Criminy at one point she even had him strangle her with her own braids for a noose and that got her cumming so bad that her pussy felt like a vice!!

Suffice to say that when it was all said and done, that little fuck session became a marathon which repeated throughout the week, more so when Mina, Maya and Tsuyu got involved as well. The results speaking for themselves when a remarkable improvement in Jinx's behavior and attitude adjustment showed that she was practically as a giddy and gleeful as a kid in a candy store. Helping out around the apartment with chores especially if it meant "Daddy-shima" would reward her for doing such a good job though one has to wonder why she'd taken to wearing a naked apron around the place. Not to mention her regular meal servings tended to consisted of what he learned was herself.....but he certainly wasn't complaining and Midnight's rehab program netted another win in its favor.

Elsewhere in the vast streets of Mustafu, a certain landshark puppy was busy wandering out and about still on his enigmatic quest. His pilgrimage seeming to be going well if that big toothy smile of his was anything to go by as he stopped and paused to have a sniff about. It seemed he'd caught onto a scent, one that happened to be just what or who he was looking for as he made whatever passed for a puppy bark or kittycat purr and continued his tracking. Go forward little Jeff, we're all rooting for you!!

[gerdy-sertorius]

The Definitive Damsel Analysis (if I do say so myself)

(Disclaimer: I know it’s absurdly long, and for that I apologize. I apparently am more unwilling to make cuts than I am to present subpar work. I’m working on it. Only editing I do for my autistic ramblings is copyediting, baby! Whoo! I will be updating this for the Pristine Cut once it comes out and we get even *more* Damsel. Obviously, as I’m sure you can tell from the length, I really like Damsel. There will be all of the bias. It will be great.)

(Author’s Note: For the love of the most high God, it took me like twenty read throughs for me to standardize what I wanted to call the Scorched Grey. Here is a brief list of all the terms I used to refer to her: Scorched Grey, Burned Grey, Burning Grey, Fire Grey, Damsel Chapter 3. Sometimes but not always preceded by “the” or “The”.)

Alright, ladies and gentlemen. I have oft made the statement on here that Damsel is the best route in the game, and this began as me trying to definitively prove that, by microscopically going through the route, I could establish exactly why, it would seem, that Damsel has objective superiority. It sorta… evolved, though, so instead I will be going relatively chronologically throughout, and trying to point out a couple things that all of you know about and maybe a couple things you don’t about the best character in the game. With that preamble out of the way, let’s begin with the goofy stuff, the grab bag if you will. 

This will certainly be more personal taste than anything else, but I do think there’s a lot of miscellaneous stuff that Damsel does better than the other chapters. For example, I am convinced that it has the third best music, behind Tower and her routes and then Thorn. I am genuinely obsessed with “It Was Always That Easy”. The basement has some *fantastic* art, and I think that really carries a chapter that is otherwise generally bland when it comes to actual visual activity. It’s really carried by its genuinely perfect dialogue. 

Overall, and most importantly, this chapter is the undisputed master of the idea of positive ambience. You know elevator music? How it’s there to artificially increase the cheeriness of an otherwise dreary moment, like a hotel hallway or, yanno, an elevator? Well, this is the chapter that does it perfectly. Everything is designed to make it “nicer” than it actually is. The Narrator even takes that into account when describing the basement. The sound design is fresh and relaxing, the music is uplifting, the Princess’s voice is obviously fantastically done, but also the Voice of the Smitten plays a large role in making it feel “good”. It’s something that exists in order to communicate exactly the feelings it wants the player to feel, which is all warm and fuzzy inside. But let’s move on to the actual content, shall we?

Damsel has *the* best Chapter One and it isn’t even close. Certainly not in the horror department, where I think Beast and Nightmare shine, or even in the whole characterization bit, where the award can only go to Spectre and the masterclass that is her Chapter One. But Damsel has something else to it. Damsel has tragedy, almost Shakespearean in nature. Nobody else has it (except Witch, to some extent, but nowhere close to the same level), nobody manages to reach that connection, there and then broken, to honestly feel for both Princess and Slayer. Allow me to paint a picture of a playthrough. 

You are on a path in the woods. At the end of that path is a cabin. In the basement of that cabin is a princess. You are here to slay her. But you don’t do that. That voice itching in the back of your skull, the one you quite literally call Hero, your moral compass even, raises some objections. You don’t want to kill *anybody*. That isn’t something you want to mark yourself with, especially not solely on the word of an individual you just met. For now, violence is a nonstarter.

You enter the cabin. And you hear her voice. And you see her. You even talk with her for a while. The moment is… hypnotizing. Despite the Narrator’s warning of manipulation, well, you cannot help but be manipulated. This is a genuinely nice, sweet, scared Princess who simply wants to be free. You have to save her. It is the right thing to do, it is the… only thing to do. Anything else marks you with the dirtiness of simply being unwilling to help someone in need when you had the full ability to. 

You go to get a key. Unsuccessful. The door locks. Even worse. The Narrator is moving from irritating to downright malicious, clearly enjoying recounting the lock of the door. Disgust for Him has been present since you entered the cabin, but it shifts to anger very quickly. That shift continues with full force as you attempt with what little ability you have to save the Princess, even if you don’t quite know how you will get out. The question does not last long. For the shift to anger shifts once more, to a sort of incomprehensible fury.

For the Narrator has crossed a line. Not only has he taken away any semblance of choice, not only has he raised your own knife against an innocent, someone who has been nothing but kind to you, but you are the one who must bear the shame for it. You are the only one who is doing the foul deed in any eyes but your own. Speaking of, the Princess’s eyes are filled with genuine happiness at the moment, as you are finally giving her the freedom she has yearned for such a  long time. Yet through no fault of your own, you raise the pristine blade, the one you refused to bring down to the basement in the first place. You scramble through the list of options, attempting to find anything that could provide a sliver of hope in the situation, anything without the grim finality of “Slay the Princess”. 

At last, you find one, and are able to bark out a warning to the Princess. That happiness in her eyes is shifted to a look of fear, one directed at you alone, one condemning you with such a sorrowful betrayal that it almost hurts to see. She begs for you to stop, and then she says something that almost calms the internal storm of the player: “Please, I know this isn’t you.” She recognizes that it isn’t us that betrayed her, she understands that we aren’t trying to do this, that we are flat-out trying to stop it. But the eye of that storm is passing, and soon.

And as she takes the blade, as she prepares to do what she must to live, that same look of tragic betrayal crosses her eyes, this time not directed at us, but at herself. She hates that this is her only option, the only way that she can live is to kill another, one with every intention of freeing her and no intention of harming her. And in the end, she simultaneously underscores the tragedy of the moment while confirming our perception that she could never be a threat to the world. As she plunges the blade into our chest, she has failed to even do the bare minimum of making our death painless, something that fills her with even more guilt, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tries and fails to end our own agony. The last thing we see of her are her endless cascade of both tears and apologies, as everything goes dark. 

This… is beautiful. A glorious tragedy, one with limited theming, simply two characters with emotions that feel natural. And, quite strangely, the first chapter has almost nothing to do with the second chapter. But it is still important. I’ll get to that later. Better things await now! For with the end of the tale of the Hero and the Princess, we have a new individual, everyone’s favorite buddy, the Voice of the Smitten. 

I am certain I do not need to underscore just how popular Smitten is. Easily the most fan favorite of the fan favorites, especially solidifying his place within that roster with the Kiss from a Thorn. He is jovial, passionate, he is Don Quixote, complete with the unlimited self-delusion that comes with the territory. There’s a reason people love him. Romantic in a game entitled a love story, the largest of personalities in a game stuffed with them, he is the storybook hero come to life in a game that has just as much reverence for storybook heroes as the deconstructions of them. In short, he is the visage of likability itself, with all the bombast that comes with that. Yet that is only from a wholly external perspective. 

For what I am certain I do need to underscore is just how sinister Smitten is. For all of his likability, the Smitten is also probably the single slimiest voice out of all of them with the possible exception of the Opportunist. This is not a new revelation – people have understood that since the beginning with his frankly disturbing behavior regarding the Princess. What is perhaps more interesting is his relationship with the player. For he is one of the two options that reflect the player at this point within the story. Either the player is trying to do the right thing and free an innocent, or they have somewhat… different motivations. 

The former reflects the Hero. Somewhat naive, in many routes somewhat bumbling even, but first and foremost focused on the external. That is, “how can I make a positive impact on the world around me?” As contradictory as it may seem to how the Hero is presented, it’s something of an intellectualist approach. The Hero is trying to find the best possible world and working towards that with all of his might. It is, one could say, devoid of emotion except that determination to change the world, to make it a better place. While the goal remains the same, the path to get there is fundamentally continuously being calculated. The Hero is your conscience, and as such he must *always* work overtime for that. 

The Smitten is not that. No, he has made no secret that he is the path of passion. Even when he is generally considered to be a better person, he declares that, “Whatever world would condemn two star-crossed lovers to a cycle of violence and despair isn’t a world worth saving.” His focus is internal, it is on ourself and our romance. There is no extensive study into what is the correct option, there is only what would assist in our relationship, which is somehow ordained by the universe. To put it into understandable terms, Hero is a modern hero while Smitten is a Romantic-era hero. 

There’s an important line when going down the stairs that I think speaks volumes about the type of player and playthrough currently occurring. That is “We can still do right by her without all this over-the-top fawning.” *That* is the line of demarcation between the route of the Hero and the route of the Smitten. If you decide to embrace or repudiate the Smitten at that point, I think the route is sealed. I am convinced that the game will continue on in a fixed way based on that philosophy. The point where you must, internally that is, decide if you are doing this out of a desire for what is right, or an infatuation with the Princess. 

Now, of course there isn’t anything wrong with taking the path of the Smitten, and it’s personally one of my top points in the game, but whether you admit it or not, you are long past morality being what decides your actions. That has come and gone. Now, the goal is to express the passion of the moment and delve into your romantic relationship with the Princess. I’ll be evaluating each of the routes differently, loosely organized with a focus on how it reacts to the player. After that, I’ll go on into theming of each route one by one and all that jazz.

The path of the Smitten first. The player embraces that he has been sent to save the Princess from her unjust and foul imprisonment above all else. So that is what he does. He marches downstairs, the blade being nothing but a passing afterthought as it is immediately dismissed out of hand. When it comes to the crucial point of “doing right by her”, the justification is made that two things can be done at once, that you can do this for her and do a little bit of fawning on the way. Doesn’t harm anyone.

And with that the basement arrives, and you see the Princess on the floor. She is perfect in all ways. There is nothing wrong with her. And that’s before you start talking to her. When you do begin talking to her, all of the kindness and innocence from Chapter 1 are magnified to the greatest degree possible. She can do no wrong. And, from a meta standpoint, there’s another thing that stands out – it is really, *really* funny. From everything the Smitten says to the “Then I didn’t end the world!” to the Narrator’s (a villain at this point) growing exasperation at your trust for the Princess, it endears you to the moment even more. 

Because it’s not only that it’s funny. It’s not only that the Princess is genuinely nice to you. It’s something more than that. Something that I am loath to talk about but will anyway. The Princess is incredibly – *sigh* – **cute** within this chapter. This is objective, with science to back me up, I’m sure. But she is specifically designed to be as heartwarming as possible, and every line makes her more and more into someone who should be saved by you, into, well, a Damsel. While it isn’t explicitly stated, throughout the progression of dialogue, the need to protect her becomes more pronounced. You were already primed to like the Princess, you already internally committed to a romantic future. But after stepping into the bear trap willingly, you cannot escape. 

And if you’re anything like me, you are perfectly fine with that. So you take in the moment, you rescue her from her chains and laugh at the way her hands slipped out of the chains and the Narrator’s comical anger at it. It’s all very feel-good, all cleanly written dialogue, and both the Princess and the Smitten are likable, they’re fun, and the Narrator is a fun enough villain for the Smitten and you to unite against. The Hero, if we’re being honest, barely registers, and if he does it’s usually as an extension to the Narrator, as a foil to yourself. And with her finally free, she embraces you, sealing the deal on her perfection. 

And after that, something else happens. The deconstruction begins. You want to see if her dialogue has any more of that saccharine present throughout the rest of the chapter, and are immediately rewarded with the “The princess closes her eyes in deep reflection” and the follow up joke. Hungry for more, you click through some more of the dialogue, but something begins to happen. She begins to… unwind. The Smitten seems to reciprocate in turn, to a lesser extent. In fact, she really starts to return to the horror that this chapter was a nice respite from. So you cut your losses, decide to leave with her, and everything returns to normal. Bathed in the glow of your future, you immediately forget about the deconstruction.

After that, you finally get out of the basement, get a genuinely great moment opening the door alongside the Princess, never think twice about clicking “You’re not doing that.” as fast as humanly possible, and finally await the door at the end of the cabin. You finally get your fairytale ending. The princess goes out into the world together with you. You brought her out. And then she is taken by the Shifting Mound in a way reminiscent of her dying. Even if this wasn’t your first playthrough, it still comes as a shock. For the most part, you were being that Romantic hero, living in the moment with your passion. The thought of this happening was gone entirely. This wasn’t supposed to happen. And it *hurts*. And the chapter is over. 

The route of the Hero has a different point of view on the whole situation. That’s not to say it’s not easy to get drawn in by the hilarious dialogue and sheer cuteness of the Princess – far from it. It is, after all, what drives the conflict within this. For the Hero, and the player that goes along his path, has one bit of information stand out. That the world ended after the Princess killed you. Now, you can naturally be skeptical of the information, but the Princess isn’t helping her case here. Entirely vague, entirely unwilling to mention anything about it. The only thing she seems to care about is getting on your good side. 

Now, you still want to save her. That much is clear. You still don’t take the knife in the beginning, and you saw her Chapter 1 incarnation. She is still a good person, kind and loving. But there are questions raised, important questions. Which is why not all Hero routers get the same ending. There is a conflict between how far you’re able to go before the risk of the world ending eclipses your distrust of the Narrator and your trust of the Princess. If the whole world really does end if she’s free, is it worth it? And as such you get to the major points of the Hero ending. 

The first is the Deconstructed ending. As you question the Princess, you desperately try to figure out what the best way to go forward is for you. And that starts with getting a straight answer from the Princess on what exactly she plans on doing. The operation… does not go well. As you try and push for anything, any sign that she isn’t going to end the world, the same rejoinder comes in, alongside a distorted track. “I just want to make you happy.” The Princess is not an individual anymore, and begins to change shape. But you are locked in with a horrified inability to look away, like one who sees a car accident. And with that, the Princess is a Princess no longer, and the Shifting Mound takes her away. 

There’s also the option of taking the Hero’s advice when confronted with the scenario: to leave. You don’t like what’s going on and you try to do whatever you can to undo the doing. Perhaps surprisingly, it works. And then you’re forced to deal with the cognitive dissonance of the Princess and *that* being the same individual. But you, not without a healthy dose of skepticism, still head upstairs alongside the Princess. In the end, you can’t bring yourself to kill her. Throughout it all, she still has been the beautifully endearing picture of innocence, if a questionable one, and especially with regards to the knife on the table, there is no way you can take it to her chest with no warning, especially after everything you did in the first Chapter. So you leave with her, and the “end of the world” really does come in one fell swoop with the call of the Shifting Mound. You can’t help but wonder if the decision you made was the right one, not really. Like, you still believe she didn’t deserve to die, but maybe, just maybe, it would have been a better ending.

So what if you did kill her? What happens when love *truly* melts away into skepticism. After the continuous question dodging and whatever the… other thing was, this is clearly not an ordinary Princess, it is not the same Princess that you tried to save at the beginning. There is only a sliver of her, a shadow of her former self. Slaying her, well, slaying her is probably doing her a favor. It might be doing the world a favor, too. Maybe she is an individual with malicious intent. And as you take the blade and plunge it into her chest, you instantly know you made the wrong decision. She does not oppose it. She simply lets you kill her with a single tear hanging in her eye, saying “I think this is what you want.” It’s meant to feel dirty and it does, even heartbreaking in the moment, although it is immediately counterbalanced by the effect of the Smitten killing you over it.

I won’t exactly go over Scorched Grey the same way, I think there’s generally only two frames of mind going into it, and that’s either the standard “Hero-Skeptic” framework that I’ll expand on later, or simply a completionist mindset. Plus, it’s technically not The Damsel. Plus I’m lazy. But this is the point where I will try to expand on the theming of each and every route and mindset to go through within the Chapter, and that *will* include the Scorched Grey theming. 

It’s made quite clear from the chapter that one of the primary themes is objectification, the making of the Princess into nothing more than a vehicle to live one’s fantasy into. The taking of an individual and making them into an it. The destruction of humanity by your own desire, and what that says about your desires in the first place. Ironically, this is merely one fourth wall away from the rest of the Princesses, each of them being a piece of fiction that many simply engage with *because* they are an object, but with the Damsel it is directly nodded to within the narrative. One meta-layer is peeled back, if you will. 

Nothing hammers this more home than the entirely jarring line that escapes the Shifting Mound’s lips when you ask about the vessel she holds. Unlike the rest of the fragments, which are all given an indication that they have been fulfilled after the Shifting Mound takes them, the only note she has to say is that the Damsel has “served her purpose”. There is nothing that she wished for, as anyone who has obtained the deconstructed ending can attest to. But even in the more standard runs, she is simply a tool to be used and discarded. And there are three general reactions to this line. 

The first is the hardcore Smitten route’s preferred choice, denial. “The Princess was far more than an object, she had character, she had kindness, she had motivations from the beginning! The narrative is what is wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the Princess. She. Is. Perfect. Not just from a narrative standpoint but a metanarrative one as well. She has depth, she *is* a character.” All in the hopes that if they insist on it enough, it will become true. The Damsel was not designed to be viewed in a vacuum. There are themes that run through her character, and including negative ones, and the denial of them is a far truer denial of the character than any sort of objectification could ever be. 

Then the more moderate Smitten routers get a different response. A slap in the face. They did all of this, they had fun, they laughed with her, they cried when she was taken. They were connected to her, they had a real connection to what she was. One could even accuse them of… loving her. They honest to goodness cared about this Princess, they were invested in her story. Yet, in the end, they also formed her around themselves. They “molded her to love you”. As much as they loved the Princess, that was only because they cut out a piece of the Shifting Mound that they *could* love, a caricature of her true nature. They still took an individual, and despite truly loving her, made her into something that she was not so they could do that very thing. She is not a person. She is a plot device, an individual made to love and be loved with nothing beyond that. She is an object. 

Lastly, those who went on the route of the Hero get that same slap in the face, that selfsame bucket of water poured over their heads, but in a different way. They didn’t try to objectify her. They didn’t want anything of the sort. All they wanted to do was the right thing. Right? Yet even in that desire to do the right thing, they still get that same chilling text from the Shifting Mound. They have built an individual just like those who went on the route of the Smitten. Just a different one. Not one who was built around your “glorious romance”, but rather one built around something of a glorious Romance. The need to be a Hero. The desire to do what was right, to save an unjustly imprisoned Princess. The Princess became a plot device in the end anyway, just one that needed to be saved rather than one who needed to be loved. 

I want to continue off of that. The player is trying to do nothing more than the right thing, he is simply doing what a Hero should. And that determination to do what is right leads to him getting impacted the most by that line in the ending, the line that implies that whatever right he was doing, he was still being driven by selfishness, by that need to be a Hero. That hits the player right within where it hurts, it almost could be said to strike at the one emotional vulnerability of them. To have your hard work, your pain, your desire for what is right to be considered nothing more than the delusions of a Don Quixote tilting at windmills in order to fight giants, just as lost as Smitten, that doesn’t feel too great. It almost minimizes your struggle, and it is genius. You play as a Hero because you want to feel like a Hero, not because the morality of this world means anything to you. It is stripping that meta-layer down one by one.

But objectification is not the only theme present. While it may seem like something of a potpourri topic to throw in, earlier on the server we were talking about the Damsel in particular’s perceptiveness with regards to perception. When the door shuts and locks, it is the first and only time the Princess gets visibly **negative** in any way during the entirety of the Chapter. Even when you kill her, she still does so with nary a frown on her face. Even as a tear rolls down her cheek, she still smiles. But not at the door. The narration points out quite clearly that she frowns. This is, I reiterate, the only thing that happens. And her response is not “we’re stuck down here”, it is not “I’m unable to leave now”. 

What it is happens to be “that’s not supposed to happen”. She recognizes the construct in a way very few allude to within the game. Adding onto that note, within the Scorched Grey chapter, she (correctly) determines the very nature of the construct and that inherent “cycle of violence and despair” inherent to it, even (correctly) determining that the only way to leave was to annihilate that very construct. This is shown even clearer at the other major event at the door. When you ask if the Princess can open the door, the sole question she throws back at you is “Do you think I can?”, and after a response in the affirmative, “Then I can”. In the end, it is quite clear that she is, *heavily* ironically, one of the more aware characters in the game with regards to your circumstance. 

While speaking of the Scorched Grey, I think this route also exemplifies another major theme – the nature of the Princess as a being of perception. All routes exemplify one facet of the Shifting Mound: Spectre represents the gravity of her, Tower her divinity, Prisoner the very incarnation in and of itself of her within the construct, and so on. Damsel has something different, though, and that is that she’s just a slippery little fella. Far more than anybody else, Damsel changes throughout her chapters, in ways more pronounced than anybody else. The Shifting Mound declares that we “molded her to love you”, as I quoted previously. That molding takes stage front and center throughout all of our interactions with her. 

The most obvious example is her deconstruction, which when her sole true motivation (to leave) is discarded, she begins to break down, unable to offer to the player anything beyond the only desire every other Princess has. With the compulsive need to love the player, etched into her core, there is nothing she can do other than try to add to that love, losing herself within the process. But that is not the only time she changes. Because she is willing to give up that freedom in, well, a heartbeat. Attempting to kill her does not lead to any sort of resistance from her. The one goal she had, staying alive and winning her freedom, is out the window despite being (questionably) willing to kill for it in the last chapter. Now, throughout the Scorched Grey, it’s made clear that she did not, in fact, want to die, that she just wanted to be free together, but the complete unwillingness to save her own life is a stark contrast to the first chapter. 

In fact, that perpetually changing nature alongside her being so objectified means that it’s really, *really* hard to figure out her true character. There is very little in her that does not change and very little remaining that isn’t specifically put there by you. She is an eel, wriggling out of your grasp and impossible to pin down, in a large way like the Shifting Mound herself. But… for the most part, there are two facets to her character beyond the already listed themes. And a sharp divide between them. 

Chapter One Damsel and Chapter Two Damsel are not the same person. That’s usually true for most of them, but they also usually have some semblance of similarity between their counterparts. The only exceptions I can think off the top of my head are Spectre and *maaybe* Stranger if you want to count that. The rest of them act as exaggerated versions of the existing individuals shown. Chapter One Adversary likes fights. Chapter Two Adversary likes fights. Chapter One Witch is built on the back of distrust. Chapter Two Witch is built on the back of distrust. Everything lines up nicely. 

That is not the case for the Damsel. The only thing that you can say with both of them is that they are nice and do not want to hurt you. The Chapter One incarnation (henceforth Princess) is a tragedy of a character that doesn’t want to kill you but still must to secure her own life and freedom against a renegade puppeting you. The Chapter Two incarnation (henceforth Damsel) is a Horror-”Feel-Good”-Comedic-Tragic character that shows nothing about the emotional anguish she went through in chapter one. I love both of them, but they have an unmatched disconnect. And I think that sort of adds to the character. Now, there is absolutely a benefit from an emotional through-line (there’s a reason Thorn is my second-favorite chapter), but in this case, only brief touches to the beginning enhance the story. 

The most striking thing is the sense of comedic horror that comes when Damsel just completely ignores any expected trauma from the Princess’s emotional destruction. It, depending on the route you take, either makes you love her character more and more as the humor begins to entrap you, or it begins the process of getting the player unnerved, exactly like the developers wanted. It is a key dividing point in the mindset of the player and the route that they have chosen. The Damsel says nothing about what happened, heck, she barely acknowledges it except to indicate that “You died!” 

Secondly, it sets up Damsel as a sympathetic figure while still allowing her to begin establishing herself. Without the setup from the Princess, the player has no idea how to view Damsel, potentially even seeing her as a less on-the-nose Razor, with her comedically hiding her sinister intentions. The Princess allows the player to begin on a note that the Princess is *actually* friendly rather than simply pretending to be so. At the same time, it’s divorced enough that apart from that frame of reference at the beginning, Damsel is still allowed to shine within her own character. 

Lastly, and most importantly, it sets her up for the Scorched Grey. The guilt at causing the death of an innocent and the belief that you would be unable to cause the death of an innocent yourself leads her to blame the construct and attempt to bring it down, which seals your fate in the third Damsel chapter, the only time where the two chapters meet in a beautiful climax of Passion going too far and causing pain, in attempt of running away from that very thing, morphing into something that not even the Smitten is able to remain devoted to in an awful tragedy of love being not enough in the end. 

Wait, wait, wait. Did I hear “the end” being spoken? At this time of year? Localized entirely within this essay? Well then, it’s time to talk about what puts this saga at pure perfection, shall we? I probably could just use the awesome power of Ctrl + V to get the desired effect, but I still do want to offer my narration, so I’ll compromise and do a bit of both. “Your lover drives a stake into your body. And another. And another. And another. And another. Do I miss your heart because I cannot stand to see it go? But the stakes meant nothing to you. You had a desire, and you set that desire free, you lifting me and me lifting you, forever and ever and ever, consumed by true belief, there was nothing that could hold us back.” 

Do I even need to explain why that’s so good? Definitively the best poem in the end, it isn’t even close, especially when coupled with Ms. Goodnight’s awe-inspiring delivery. Did I say that the Scorched Grey was the perfect synthesis of the Princess and the Damsel? I was lying. This is. Every word so lovingly placed, the language sounds like it comes from the pen of God Himself. It is emotionally resonant, the art is beautiful, I have not run into such a short piece of dialogue that outdoes it. Gonna be honest, mostly just wrote up this essay to gush about it. Even now, it is considered by most everyone to be one of the best lines of dialogue in a game filled with magnificent ones. 

And the other one, that of the Scorched Grey. It’s simpler, ironically. “I kill you. You kill me. Back and forth we go, faster and faster and faster. I kill you. You kill me. Hollow eyes watch from the dry corners of a memory. A home built on all of the futures that were supposed to be, preserved until the moment of reunion. The fire of the heart sets it all ablaze. I kill you and me.”

This, this right here is one of the most slept on ending poems and it’s not even funny. So fantastic at expressing the heartbreak inherent to the Scorched Grey’s character. I don’t know how you can see the line “A home built on all the futures that were supposed to be”, especially with the Scorched Grey dead and charring in a wedding gown, and not feel *something*. It’s not as good as the standard Damsel stuff, but then again, nothing is. It’s still deserving of more praise than it currently receives, and one of my top three ending poems of all time, only edged out by Prisoner. Gosh, this game belongs in a museum. 

Seems I need to debunk some stuff that happens to get a lot of traction regarding those who speculate on Damsel, too. First of all, her character motivation is not guilt nor gratitude. That sort of thing works incredibly well in fanworks, and I’m happy to see it ~~because that means I get to see Damsel in a fanwork~~. It has little to no backing within canon. Damsel is a chapter about the only motivations for the Princess being those put in place by the objectification of the player. There is nothing regarding anything beyond that, and it detracts from the existing, well-elucidated themes that are actually within the chapter. The only sort of substance to them is both Chapter 1 Princess and Scorched Grey indicating guilt for killing you, but that is almost entirely repudiated within the actual Chapter 2. 

Speaking of the Scorched Grey, another thing I saw somewhat extensively is that you somehow “taught her” that killing is the way to love one another, and that’s why she kills you in Chapter 3, and I honestly do not know how that gained any traction at all. It’s pretty clear that she views all the death as a pretty terrible and messed up thing and only kills the two of you to escape the cycle of death. It’s spoken of as a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. I am genuinely confused on how this got started, because it really just… opposes the main *in-narrative* themes of the Chapter??? Like, you don’t even have to analyze it, it’s just within the text, plain and simple. 

Anyway, I deeply apologize for the length of this once again, look forward to an appendix when Pristine Cut comes out. I’ve already played it because my uncle works at Black Tabby, but I don’t want to spoil it for you gents. If my opinions change massively after playing through the new update from today, I will change that too. Anyway, Damsel is the best character, literally does not do a single thing wrong within any of her chapters, has definitively the best Shifty stuff, and you should invest in her. As more people vocally become willing to throw money at anything related to Damsel, the likelier it is that we get Damsel merch. I need it so badly. Please. Anyway, if anything stands out to you or you disagree, I am begging you to tell me to get my act together and explain what I said wrong, so do that. Also please. 

[thezombieprostitute]

Hummingbird - Epilogue

Summary: You didn't want to break into someone's party but you were desperate to see the art at the gallery before it was gone. You're so busy trying to make sure no one sees you that you miss the ever present gaze of Steve Rogers who is wondering why you crashed his party.

Word Count: ~1k

A/N: This takes place after Sparks Fly & Changing Minds. Reader is AFAB. No physical descriptors used.

Warnings: Implied violence, Pregnancy and related topics. Please let me know if I missed any.

Part 8

Series Masterlist

“It really feels like we’ve invited a lot more fights to our doorstep,” Sam sighs. “Between our people messing with Clark Kent and helping a witness against Wilford & Gilliam, then hiring said witness, we haven’t done ourselves any favors.”

“There aren’t any direct ties to us,” Steve retorts. 

“None that would hold up in court,” Bucky offers. “But people know.”

“Our Garbage Men have kinda gotten out of hand,” Sam huffs. “They’re supposed to clean up messes, not make them.”

“I don’t know about that,” Steve objects. “They’ve been doing what they need to. Well, maybe Nick. I’ll give you that he screwed up a few things. But even then, he’s done the impossible and made a dent in the Man of Steel. A dent we can take advantage of.”

“I’ve already got Union Reps and supporters at work at his factories,” Bucky nods. 

Sam adds, “I’ve also got some reporters on tap, eager to add to the case against Kent, should any hint of union busting come up.”

“Wilford & Gilliam were already at odds with us,” Steve comments. “But they’re clearly on the way out. We just need to be extra careful until they finally topple.”

“Franco the Elder needs to be stopped,” Sam curses. “He’s been on a rampage and the other families are looking to us to deal with him since one of ours set him off.”

“Can we get Nat to take him out,” Steve ponders.

“I’ve already got G on the scent,” Bucky assures. “He’s a lot more affordable and he’s associated with us. Shows the other families we’re working on it.”

“We should probably also prepare for a power vacuum once they finally fall,” Sam adds. 

“The Garbage Men are keeping tabs,” Steve assures. “All ripple effects are being tracked to the best of their ability.” The other men nod in acceptance. “In lighter news, I’ve got promises of support from the Odinson, Wayne and Spector families. Apparently our handling of Lloyd and Rumlow reaffirmed their trust in our abilities.”

Sam snorts, “not surprised Wayne supports us. He and Kent have been frenemies for quite some time. But Spector?”

Bucky interjects, “him and Wilson might be crazy but you can trust them to keep their word. If Spector says they support us, we don’t have to worry about them. If we accidentally piss them off, they’ll warn us before attacking.”

An alarm on Steve’s phone interrupts the meeting. Steve turns it off and stands up, “are we good for today? Anything else pressing?”

“Nothing we can’t handle,” Sam assures, Bucky nodding in support. “You go take care of your lady.”

“Wishing you both the best at the appointment,” Bucky agrees.

You try to keep from wringing your hands but you’re all nerves. You were more than eager to start your family with Steve but encouraged him to hold off until after the wedding and after you were both screened for potential genetic disorders. He had the money to cover the costs and you didn’t want to go into this blindly. Something he appreciated and respected.

Thankfully the testing hadn’t been too invasive. Now you just had to wait and you were doing your best to not be a nervous wreck. Unfortunately your best wasn’t great. You kept checking your phone, making sure you hadn’t missed any phone calls or messages. You tried to put your nervous energy to work but that only led to you cooking up a storm in the kitchen, making more meals than you and Steve could eat in a week.

When he walks into the kitchen and sees the chaos, Steve knows he has to do something. He walks up to you, his voice soothing as he calls your name. You’re scrubbing dishes but stop when he places his hand on the back of your neck. 

“Sweetheart,” he intones, “you need to calm down.”

“I’m trying.”

“We’ll be sending people home with food for the next few days to keep it from going bad.”

“I know, I know. I just—”

You’re cut off as he pulls you in for a hug. He knows you feel safest with his arms wrapped around you and you find yourself breathing a little easier. 

“I just want to make sure any kids we have get the best chances.”

“I know, Hummingbird,” Steve hums. “And I love that you’re already considering having more than one.”

You chuckle, “well I can count on you to be supportive and caring the whole pregnancy and while the kid is growing up so. I don’t know, that just makes it easier to contemplate having a couple of kids instead of just one.” 

Before Steve can comment your phone rings and you escape his arms to answer it. The doctor’s words are clear, though your brain has a little trouble processing them. You thank the doctor and hang up the phone. Steve looks at you expectantly.

“We’re in the clear,” you smile as you hug him hard enough he almost loses his balance. “Looks like we’ll be starting up a new adventure together.”

You’re finally back at your apartment, done with work for the day, and you’re still in daze after the phone call from the doctor. Everything feels surreal, like you're moving through thick fog, as you unlock the door. The unreal feeling isn’t helped by seeing your man on one knee in the living room, holding a ring box. 

You freeze at the sight and his cheeks turn a little pink, “I know it’s kinda soon but I also know you’re the one. If you’ll have me.” He looks back at you with those puppy dog eyes you can never say no to.

All you can say is, “I’m pregnant.”

Part 8

Series Masterlist

Tags:

@alicedopey; @aryhyuuga; @cynic-spirit; @icefrozendeadlyqueen @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @ktficworld; @leryg0; @rayofdawnworld; @rebekahdawkins; @texmexdarling

[thegambitgazette]

Know Thyself: How This One Exercise Shaped My Writing

“Know Thyself” Interpretations

Heraclitus: “It belongs to all men to know themselves and think well.”

Charles H. Kahn: this fragment echoes a traditional belief that “know thyself" had an essentially similar meaning to the second Delphic maxim, “nothing too much;” both sayings might be considered alternative ways of describing the virtue of sophrosyne.

Heraclitus defines sophrosyne as the art of “perceiving things according to their nature,” apparently referring to the perception of objective, material facts. If so, and if self-knowledge is the same as sophrosyne, then, as Kahn writes, “the deepest structure of the self will be recognized as co-extensive with the universe in general … so true self-knowledge will coincide with knowledge of the cosmic order.”

A fragment from Ion of Chios provides the earliest explicit reference to the maxim. It reads: “This ‘know yourself’ is a saying not so big, but such a task Zeus alone of the gods understands.”

“The unexamined life is not worth living” -Socrates

Soliloquies of Augustine: The book has the form of an “inner dialogue" in which questions are posed, discussions take place and answers are provided, leading to self-knowledge. The first book begins with an inner dialogue which seeks to know a soul. In the second book it becomes clear that the soul Augustine wants to get to know is his own.

The Consolation of Philosophy: Boethius writes The Consolation of Philosophy as a conversation between himself and a female personification of philosophy, referred to as “Lady Philosophy.” Philosophy consoles Boethius by discussing the transitory nature of wealth, fame, and power (“no man can ever truly be secure until he has been forsaken by Fortune"), and the ultimate superiority of things of the mind, which she calls the “one true good.” She contends that happiness comes from within, and that virtue is all that one truly has because it is not imperiled by the vicissitudes of fortune.

Meditations: Marcus Aurelius likely didn’t intend for Meditations to be published, as the work centered around his own self-analysis and self-guidance. Aurelius advocates finding one's place in the universe and sees that everything came from nature, and so everything shall return to it in due time. Another strong theme is of maintaining focus and to be without distraction all the while maintaining strong ethical principles such as “Being a good man.”

...to think that all of these classic works are “regular” people figuring themselves out. I decided to do the same.

Writing My Own “Soliloquy”

I’d like to clarify that I, in no way shape or form, see myself as this great thinker or philosopher or anything like that. I recognize that this practice is but one way to understand myself, especially since I struggle with mental health and a lot of spiritual questions (but that’s another topic).

In choosing to write my own soliloquy, I am becoming my own Devil’s Advocate. Like Boethius, I’ve decided to structure my journaling as if I am arguing with someone. I will choose a topic that I am passionate about or that I am having my own crisis over, such as “Why do I not believe I am a good person?” or “Why do I prefer logic over emotion?” or even “What draws me to classical paintings?”

What I found is that anything and everything that I am attached to says something about me on a deeper level.

Here is where it gets a little tricky: in continuing to argue with myself, I’ve found that I get better at coming up with counter points. In other words, this self-analysis becomes more and more complex the more used to it you get. It’s almost like you’re playing some mind chess and this fictional opponent, who is also you, as they are but your own Devil’s Advocate, is also getting better and learning with you.

But, to me, that is what makes this “Know Thyself” maxim important. You are not meant to have a full-fledged answer. We are constantly evolving and changing, as will our knowledge of how we perceive ourselves and how we perceive the world in response to it.

How It Affects My Writing

To start with the obvious, the character development and creation changes so much when you get to know yourself. At least, for me, the world becomes less and less black and white (not that it ever was black and white to begin with). Because of that, my characters become more dimensional.

I am no longer afraid to write controversy. There is a... debate, for a lack of better words, on the media literacy rate nowadays. Because of this, I would fear that, just because I wrote about it, people would assume that I am in support of it; or, for example, just because there is a mainstream focus on one demographic, that nuances of that focus cannot be written about (again, another topic).

However, writing my soliloquies reminds me that my work is meant to be a message from myself to the audience first and entertainment second.

As artists, authors, creators, etc., there is a danger in losing ourselves to appease the masses. There is the question of whether we should create what we want or stick to what is trending, and I’m not immune to that spiral, either.

In knowing yourself, you become your #1 advocate. You know what your boundaries are, what your morals are, and what your values are. It gets harder to allow those who don’t do that same work to sway your pen.

Closing Words

Whatever form that takes, get to know yourself. For me, that’s journaling whenever I can as if I’m debating with someone. Grab a journal meant specifically for this exercise and go crazy! No one’s going to read it (unless you become someone like Marcus Aurelius and your own version of Meditations comes out. In which case... sorry?)

Never stop challenging the way you think, too. It can be uncomfortable and hard, but change always is. Perhaps you will stick to your ideals, and that’s okay, too! Do not live life on the easy path.

As always, these exercises are not a substitute for professional or medical help. I will always encourage those who need it to seek therapy, as I believe it is a great tool to use alongside this exercise, should one feel inclined to do so.

[muchanmocha]

Y'know seeing the toxic reactions after Wiege about how it's toxic romance apologism and apparently racism allegations cuz "yeah the POC lady get killed cuz of white man" from fans is what's so bad for me cuz I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of what the creators wanted to convey, yes I hated Luka cuz to be fair, he was a fairly destructive villain and he was terrible to gaslight Mizi during their performance like that but it doesn't mean he can't have a core understanding perspective as a character cuz now we know more than enough that this man is broken and he wasn't raised to be any better but he has the potential to change

Okay I heard about Studio Lico producing works like Manhwas where they sometimes have racist writing but it's definitely not the case for ALNST and I don't think racism has anything to do with Hyuna and Luka's story, it's just the bullshit modern western audience has been having on Twitter

I also want to say that ALNST drives down the realistic horrors of trauma and love, the so-called toxic romance fits but what Hyuna and Luka have aren't just about romance, it's about two people who are deeply hurt and are major victims of a hurting system and it ended up ruining their relationship one way or another, we see how it screwed up Luka and it ended up costing his relationship with Hyuna, but I want to say that Hyuna is honestly great that in the end, she accepted that Luka really is just another victim like her and he's not the real villain here but the shitty life they were born into, I think that's what matters more

ALNST is what I call a true story of Love in the face of the horrors and the unknown and I mean this quite literally

As someone of Asian heritage myself who's lived both outside and inside the US, I've been exposed to both worlds for most of my life (the TV in my household quite literally had no English channels). On top of that I started consuming copious amounts of East Asian media including the obvious manga/anime/light novels/webnovels/webtoons/games/etc across JP, KR, CN so believe me when I say I know how racist it can be. In fact my biggest pet peeve is the depiction of foreign characters and I have a whole essay I can write on this topic.

...Which makes the Alnst racism allegations hilarious because oh man, the sweet summer children have no idea what racism in East Asia(n media) looks like if they think Hyuna dying for Luka is a solid example.

Not to mention, Hyuna is one of the few characters explicitly Korean (as shown in her and Hyun Woo's names) and there seems to be a built in assumption in this accusation that brown skin means she's... not Korean. Which in and of itself reveals a lot of issues.

Generally I think outrage over Wiege are the result of a few factors:

Hatred for Luka (understandable considering he is purposefully set up to be hated for Round 5 and 7)

Misdirected Western social justice warrior-ing

Just general upset/denial over Hyuna dying

But also you'd notice that none of these things... speak to the quality of writing. And there's a reason for that.

Because the writing is good.

What you want for the story ≠ what's good for the story

Something makes you upset ≠ it's bad writing

I want all of the characters to have never died or suffered and live happily with each other in the AU world.

But if canon didn't exist why would I want that so desperately?

The fact that canon exists and ripped my heart out and stomped it to pieces is necessary, and believe it or not, objectively good writing.

-

Toxic romance apologism is even more hilarious considering

Firstly — *waves hand at the entire Alnst lineup* Why would you choose now to speak up on that 😂

Secondly — apologism implies Alnst is defending toxic romance.

When.

It is clearly not.

As proven by: [Insert link to every official art ever of characters in Alnst fked up bc of love and/or another character]

But also this , this , this , and this.

If there's any romanticisation, I'd argue it's from the fandom rather than creator intent.

Alnst explores unhealthy love, absolutely. But it never once defends it or pretends it isn't what it is. Just read any of the creator commentary on the characters and you'd see that.

Tl;dr the fact that someone has interpreted Alnst as toxic romance apologism implies a shallow read on the story imo

Also just gotta say

People shouting that Hyuna has been treated unjustly, yet not seeing that the entire video of Wiege is a love letter to Hyuna and her worldview is quite ironic

[peachblossomfire]

The Corrosiveness of Venus; And Why it's Beautiful

This topic is probably already discussed in many spaces, but I still wanted to share my understanding of this planet, and why its internal corrosiveness is an integral part of its external beauty. I'm not just going to focus on those with Venusian nakshatras in their big three, but Venus in its exalted and debilitated form.

Venus was a planet I often had trouble understanding. Why would something that is connected to beauty, love, luxury, and pleasure of the senses be so...destructive? Even though I kept reading it about, it just didn't click for me...until reality intervened.

You see, one of the things that is special about astrology is how it truly comes alive in *people*. Charts and placements look static until you interact with and try to understand the person, and suddenly it makes sense. My understanding of Venus was informed by three lovely people in my life:-

My Mom, with her exalted Venus in Pisces rashi (Venus in Revati, to be specific)

My Dad, with his Venus in Libra rashi (Venus's mool trikona sign, the sign it rules and is strong and comfortable in) (Venus in Chitra)

My Aunt, with her Bharani Moon and exalted Venus in Pisces rashi (Venus in Revati)

The first way I've seen a powerful venus manifest is in *discernment*. People with a powerful venus in their chart tend to have an almost intuitive sense of beauty, of which things go together and which do not. They may not be a professional in that field, yet they just seem to *know*.

Now, you could make the argument that anybody can possess that ability or train their eye to do so, and while I do agree, the art of discernment is hardly easy. I have a debilitated Venus in Virgo rashi, and I am endlessly fascinated by how these Venusians just effortlessly know. I've spent years studying body types, colour seasons, and other styling stuff to figure out what looks good on someone and why, yet my mother will just walk into a random store and pick out the PERFECT dress that is her size and her skin tone color. They just KNOW. My dad knows exactly which piece of furniture goes where, without even having to look at a picture. You could say its because of their age, but I've seen plenty of people who are their age who cannot intuitively figure style out. Its like they understand EXACTLY what a person, object, place, etc. needs in order to look the most beautiful.

But behind that powerful ability lies a harsh critic, constantly analyzing why something WORKS or doesn't. If you ever ask a Venusian how they feel about a particular aesthetic/idea/, if they are comfortable with you, they'll tell you EXACTLY how they feel, and you'd be taken aback by how harsh some of the critiques are. But what's curious is, despite the harshness, they're RIGHT. My aunt was talking about how some random lady on instagram would look so much better if she reduced her arm fat and pose differently, and while initially I argued she's beautiful the way she is and she could pose however she wants to, couple months later as I was scrolling, I saw the random lady's post and my aunt was RIGHT. Though the comment was unwarranted, she was RIGHT.

One time I dressed in an all-black sweater outfit to go hang out with my friends, and my mom suggested a different black outfit, but I was adamant to style myself. It ended up being one of the hottest days of the year, which meant I was sweating buckets, and the lack of accessories, despite all the black, made my look uncoordinated, so much so my own Venusian friend had to tell me my outfit needs some changes. AND THEY WERE BOTH RIGHT.

This isn't to say a debilitated Venus sucks at all things aesthetic. However, it may not be immediately intuitive to us. I still am figuring out what looks good on me, and I'm getting better at it everyday! With that being said, it is always good to consider the advice of a Venusian when it comes to something they are passionate about.

It is the harshness of Venus that allows it to craft something beautiful. Like how a needle pierces the cloth to create a beautiful embroidery, the knife carves the stone, the fire melts the glass, the oyster is ripped open for the pearl. Even "Glow-ups" and "Lookmaxxing" requires sacrifices and discipline from the person performing it.

Discipline and refinement are very Saturnian themes, and Saturn too is a harsh taskmaster when it comes to achieving a specific goal.

Ultimately, Venus wants one to understand the sacrifices involved in beauty, both material and spiritual. That is why it is internally corrosive, it is the destructive fire that transforms the object into the form it wants to take, or the form it always truly possessed.

Now, there is a good chance you guys already knew all that, as I'm hardly the first one to talk about this. But I just wanted to share my own thoughts on it, in the hopes that maybe it'd invite people to take a closer look on the planet.

ALSO: Do seek aesthetic advice from someone who UNDERSTANDS that particular aesthetic. I wouldn't go to my friend who specializes in Ralph Lauren old money fashion when I need advice on the 2010s E-girl aesthetic, even if said friend is Venusian.

[dr-fizzovich]

my name is martha, but you can also call me bassy or dr fizz!!

i'm just a 15yo lady from the balkans (serbian with bosnian origins) who is also an orthodox christian and really. I mean REALLY loves object shows. And a lot of other stuff. :P

my current special interest is Inanimate Insanity xD

on this blog, you'll see mostly art and random posts!! I usually draw dragons and objects, but i am capable of drawing anything. Literally. >:3

Dr Fizz in real life. i'm also some more characters and beings but i don't think that's, aside from Dr Fizz, very important considering that i barely post alterhuman content like EVER. oh and im also steve cobs and a medieval unicorn too

aside from drawing, i am known for making kandi bracelets, masks, puppets and a single fanfiction!!

most of the time i type in lowercase and use emoticons and punctuation. :3

I LOVE UNICORNS I LOVE UNICORNS RAAAHHH 🗣‼️💥💯 UNICORN ATTACK UNICORN ATTACK 🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄 UNICORNS ARE AWESOME!!!! And also CABINETS!!!!! CABINET ATTACK CABINET ATTACK 🗄🗃🗄🗃🗄🗃🗄🗃🗄🗃🗃🗃🗃🗄🗄🗄🗄🗄🗄🗄🗃🗄🗃🗄🗃🗄🗄🗃🗄🗄🗃🗄🗃🗄🗃 RAAHHGHGGGHHHhHHHĤHHHH

i'm an introverted person, but i tend to be very friendly, silly and whimsical. Especially online!! i LOVE talking to cool people :)

i'm the #1,25 cabyang fan, #1 bookcasey fan (fun fact: made the first bookcasey fanart but couldn't post it at the time haha), and also one of the #1 dr fizz & tacopad fans :D (fun fact: i ship tacopad since 29th of June 2024!!)

i don't partake in ANY discourse. I am okay with stuff as long as it isn't problematic or harmful, such as faking disorders >:[

i make animal ocs, both feral and anthro, but that does not make me a furry :) (i'm not a furry okay??)

I unironically use gen alpha slang, even tho i am gen z!! If you don't like me saying "skibidi sigma alpha rizz", then i don't kno what to do about that bshahahahaha also i say "me" instead of "my" and sometimes add the suffix -sies to randomsies wordsies :3

i also run a dr fizz content archive blog, @doctorfizz :)

immune to bfdi >:) (not a hater tho, it's just not my taste xD i still find it cute tho)

Do not interact if you're a s4tanist / xen0s4tanist / ant1-christ, if your blog is focused on n$f₩ / k¥nk /$H/€D / drvgs / political content, or if you post about Cabby x Clover or Cabby x Test Tube. If you post about any other Cabby x female character ships you're on very thin ice.

i freeblock too btw!!!

don't beg me for money or you'll get hit with the FIST THINGY!!! i stole it from my disobedient son MePhone4 /ref

DON'T EVEN BOTHER tagging me in chain asks, reblog bait and activism/awareness posts. My blog is my blog :3 /srs

*if you don't post/reblog anything about cabby x fem character ships or we're cool!!! Yay!!

[lynxfrost13]

Haiiiiiiiiiii Lynx!!

Okay, so 1, 3, 16, and 20 on the character asks schmorgasborg for Schrott! My grumpy old lady. Also this wasn’t part of the thingermajigger but what’s her gun? Her starling fetish object?

HI JAY HOLY FUCK YOU SENT THIS A WHILE AGO I'M SO SORRY but I've finally gotten to it!!!

What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?

So Schrott as she is now is very different, but I'd had the idea of a character I'd dubbed "scrapyard star" living in my head since around september/october. The original scrapyard star didn't come to much other than being a bit of a joke character back when an older version of Hollenhund had replaced her leg with a starling's (basically i thought it would be silly if there was a sierpinski star who Wanze had to get her black chestplate from + then ALSO lost a leg + generally looked like a mess). But anyway that was like PROTO protoschrott. She came from a combo of that early idea and a thought I had of giving Holt another old lady friend! Then the last thought that I can definitely point to and go That's Schrott for sure is one I had where originally she was heavily based on a gw2 oc of mine, Nana Ragemittens (shoutout to u Nana ily). That wasn't the original thought tho but it's the first one I had that can clearly tie back to how Schrott is as a character now if that makes sense.

3. What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

Going off of the proto-Schrott, appearance first! I knew from the start I wanted her to be a very banged up mess of a star, she's literally rusting on certain parts of her body due to her age and neglect. The visible aspects of her age also came in pretty early too, basically right around/before I started determining her personality.

16. Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?

Lmao there's definitely a running thing of people making fun of her age, one of the first things I did when coming up with her character was this stupid thing:

She consistently gets dunked on for her age and I also enjoy calling her gramma and making fun of her I can't help it!!!

20. Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favorite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about

Okay I'll include your fetish item question as part of this!! I'll be honest I barely know anything about guns other than how to use one if I need to meself, so I'm mostly going off of aesthetic and names. That being said I think Schrott would have a Colt Commander of some sort:

I like to think its pretty rough looking and not originally hers, but instead a gun she took off one of the bodies of her cadremates as a way to always keep a part of them with her. It holds more sentimental value than anything, and she always keeps it on her both because of that, and as a last resort to get her mentee to do what she wants (is this good? No but Schrott kinda sucks). Off of THAT thought though I'm thinking about her relationship to Hollenhund. They're both very "dog who was neglected and given a last chance" coded but in very different ways. Schrott is like an old dog who's so angry she can't move. She's a character I really pity in many ways because she's in so much pain, but she'd rather make others hurt instead of confronting her own grief properly. And she's spent years like that and kind of trapped herself in that behavior to the point where no one genuinely wants to be around her. She also knows this and is so damn lonely and wishes she was the suave laidback girl she used to be but she's scared to change and doesn't even think she can anymore. I think a lot about how being transferred to the VDF-5 was her last chance before decommission and how if she keeps acting the way she does there's no more chances. And she doesn't really care about that. It was just a nice alternate way of decommissioning anyways really, since the VDF program is going under anyways. She does get slightly better in that her and Hollenhund do develop a genuine bond and are able to reconcile over some of their issues but Schrott's never going to be fully at peace until she's scrap metal rotting in a junk yard and at the end of the day she's the reason that's her only option now. Sorry that's a little depressing but yeagh I rotate her and her many many issues my wretched old hag <333

[avionvadion]

To be fair to ACOTAR, I think the point of the love triangle is that Tam is toxic. Feyre realizes this, dumpster his ass and moves on to a better one. I can see what SJM was trying to go for. She was attempting to send the message that your first love isn't always true. Sometimes you can be in a relationship and realize that it's not the best till later. (Source: This has happened with one of my exes. This was years ago and I got out in time, so I'm fine now.)

These are good things to add in books, especially since a lot of books have viriginal protags who's true love is the first person they ever dated, which doens't happen often in real life. (Not that is a bad thing, since I know El/Malleus fit into that. I do like books that change that up. Hell, that's part of the reason why I made my Yuu, Adriana, be a popular mean girl with an ex, who was the worst and saw her as a sex object to make himself more popular. She moves on to a better love interest, who gives a shit about her and treats her well...even if it's your most hated character in the fandom. XD)

However, the execution in that is what makes it not work in that book. It relies on a ret-con and doing a character assassination to Tamlin. Frankly, Angel Dust/Valentino and Angel Dust/Husk is a much better version of that same idea.

This got long lol so I’m putting it under a read-more bar

For as toxic as TimTam is, so is Feyre. She failed to heed warnings, forced him into danger, and couldn’t stay still for five minutes without needing to break every single rule and ignore every single warning that every single fae in the castle has given her just because she could. She has zero self awareness and for someone who is supposed to be focused on survival she really doesn’t give two cents about actually surviving. She’s constantly picking fights and throwing herself into danger without a single care for herself or those around her.

Plus the chemistry between the two were blander than a loaf of plain stale bread. The only attraction that seemed to exist was physical and even that was blah. And we were supposed to root for them, under the impression he’s the main love interest, because that’s what the book implied. Only to find out in the second book that’s not true.

She was not a well written MC. The only well written character in the whole book is LUCIEN. Hell, he and maybe one of Feyre’s sisters (the snobby one) are the only characters in the book who ACTUALLY have personalties.

Girlie killed his best friend and he was pissed about it, got sassy, gave her the advice she wanted but also was totally going to let her die for being an idiot because again she KILLED HIS BEST FRIEND and thought she was beyond consequences because she actively sought to mess with a fae (YOU DO NOT MESS WITH FAE) and tried to speak sense to TimTam who just went nah. Pretty human lady. Halfway through the book and I couldn’t care about either main character because both were dull and toxic, and Lucien is over here making SENSE. He’s the only reason I was able to stomach as much of book as I could.

There are ways to write a character escaping a toxic relationship. There are ways to show it. This is not that way.

If anything, the book should have started with Feyre already in TimTam’s castle, in the toxic relationship with him, and trying to figure out how to get out of it when she meets Rhysander or whatever his name is. Give like a brief backstory snippet via a dream sequence or whatever, or her talking to Rhysander about how she ended up trapped in this relationship with TimTam. Realize Rhysander is her soulmate and goes with him after escaping TimTam. Fae vs fae. Girliepop realizes first loves isn’t always what it’s said to be. Also change TimTam’s name because he is NOT TAMLIN.

But nope. No. This is what we got. ☠️ Us being tricked into rooting for a false romance- and a toxic, disturbing one at that.

Also, while I do hate Jamil I do not hate Jamil lovers 🤣🤣🤣 I do occasionally like art that has him in it. My sister also loves Jamil. Is all good. You do you.

Also also, I do agree with the Angel Dust thing. It’s so much better.

[palmtreepalmtree]

Alright, everyone. This probably will not be a long one because... oof... but without further ado, this is...

THE WORST MOVIE ON NETFLIX RIGHT NOW

Today, I am pleased to present A Family Affair, starring Nicole Kidman, Zac Efron, and Joey King.

The premise for this very questionable movie is that Zara (King) is a personal assistant to the man-child movie star, Chris (Efron), and is horrified when her widowed mother, Brooke (Kidman) starts sleeping with him.

There's so much that's wrong with this movie, it's hard to figure out where to begin. I've watched it twice now to try to put my finger on the problem. The biggest issue here is that none of this feels particularly real -- definitely not King's acting, Efron's character, and least of all Kidman's wig.

ARITHMETIC

Even after watching this movie twice, I found myself spending way too much time trying to do some mental math in the middle to make everyone's ages make sense. Especially when they threw in Kathy Bates as Kidman's mother-in-law. Like... I think it works???

But it's fucking distracting.

The movie never meaningfully addresses the age gap between Kidman and Efron. On the one hand, sure. They wouldn't touch it if the genders were reversed. But that also feels disingenuous since Efron's character is hounded by paparazzi. You're telling me this schmuck who obsesses about his brand as an actor never has a single moment of insecurity about dating an older woman!?!?!? PLEASE.

FAKE FANTASY

It feels at times like this movie is a fantasy every which way you look at it, except for in the way that matters. As a viewer, I want to get swept up in the fantasy -- what if I had a meet-cute with a movie star!? What if I was a published novelist, with beachfront property in Malibu, and an entire closet of couture dresses that Vogue sent me and that could fit me?! What if I could afford a luxury SUV on an assistant's salary?!? What if Big Bear actually looked like that in the snow!?

The thing is, all of this falls so flat, you can't get lost in it as a viewer. And it's not funny or charming enough to keep you interested in the story or get you invested in the relationships.

HATEABLE

I regret to inform you there's not a single likeable character in this movie. The Zac Efron movie star feels like it was written from the whispers of disgruntled assistants. It's just TOO AWFUL. And while at times it can be funny, it's hard to believe that Nicole's character could ever fall for him.

Look, I don't know if you know this, but movie stars, especially ones who mostly get by on looks, are VERY CHARMING. This is part of how they get cast. But in this movie, we never see this motherfucker be charming. Not even once.

Joey's character is probably right for objecting so hard to this relationship, but she spends so much of the movie just screaming about things, it's really fucking hard to be rooting for her. Also, she's obviously a rich kid. Like MALIBU RICH.

And Nicole... like... I have so many questions... like... look I hate that this is where we're at with things, but there's something uncanny valley about her face and her hair through the whole movie. It's kinda hard to watch her or feel anything for her. That must be a wig. It must be. And it's just so awful the whole time. This is such a far-cry from how she looked in Big Little Lies. WHAT HAPPENED.

THE IDEA OF YOU PROBLEM

Look, the biggest issue here is that this movie gets wrong all of the things that The Idea of You got right. Where A Family Affair ignores the age gap, The Idea of You wrestles with it as a central part of its plot. While A Family Affair dresses Nicole in horribly unattractive clothes, The Idea of You puts Anne Hathaway in a stunning, sexy wardrobe.

WHO DID THIS TO YOU NICOLE!?!?

While both films present fantasy lives for their leading ladies (a novelist and an art gallery owner), The Idea of You seems somehow more real and thus attainable as fantasy (a craftsman house in Silverlake as opposed to a beachfront mansion in Malibu). While A Family Affair alludes to sex and romance, it doesn't have even a hint of the sex appeal and romance of The Idea of You. It's never even clear what Nicole's character sees in Zac's, beyond his body, even once the relationship has begun to carry on and clearly affect her emotionally.

In many ways, these films are mirrors of each other. Neither of these are perfect movies, and they share a lot of similar story beats and themes: the relationships, including mother-daughter, fame and celebrity, solo female success, betrayal of the spouse, and so on and so forth.

But A Family Affair is basically the funhouse mirror version of the story. It may make you giggle a couple times, but you're not going to stand there taking it in for very long. Best to just move on and forget you ever saw it.