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bronx-bomber87 · 1 year ago

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Happy Weekend everyone :) Whew we are almost halfway through s3 already it's crazy. I love how when we get little content the previous ep the next one has loads. This is Lucy’s first real foray into UC. Seeing that deeper Harper/Lucy bond. Tim’s freak out and protectiveness. Such a good one for so many reasons. So many more gifs I wanted to use but sadly Tumblr keeps me to 30. They need to up that ha Oh well let’s get this started.

3x06 Revelations

Our ep starts out with Tamara and Lucy. Lucy making sure she gets at least one good dinner for the week. I just love their relationship so much. Tamara was such a good addition to the show. Adding some extra depth for Lucy. She is an excellent pseudo mom to her. Tamara asks if she can interview Lucy for a paper for school. Has to do with women in male dominated fields.

Lucy is adorable in her reply saying she's honored she’s asking her. How far these two have come. Lucy says she should be off early tomorrow. Let's Tamara know she’s just doing site security with Tim. It’s for the CCOA. Basically a convention for UC cops. I did love her saying ‘My Sergeant’ when explaining her work plans tomorrow. Made me happy. Yes he is. In more ways than one. Heh

We first join our lovely duo running security checks at the entrance. Lucy asking if Tim does this every year? Tim tells her no but he went with Isabel once to this. Look our boy bringing up Isabel casually. Being the one to and not have it bring him down. I'm so proud of him. Doesn’t phase him like it used to. Not only that but he’s cracking jokes over here.

Saying he just worked on his tan while Isabel attended seminars haha Replying to her question about what they teach here with sass. Tim tells her he has no idea but he's clearly having fun with his reply. Lucy still isn’t used to his sassy side. Her reaction above says it all. You did this lady hehe Enjoy the fruits of your labor madam.

Their lighthearted moment is interrupted by an old friend of Tim’s. He drives up like a bat out of hell. Tim is excited to see him (at first...) Tim is in such a good mood when he rolls up. Just outside cracking jokes with his girl having a good time. Even introduces Lucy (by her first name BTW) to his friend proudly. Shortly after their reunion Tim realizes the girl in the car is not his wife….

She blatantly hits on him calling him pretty. I mean he is. Look at the man. I’ve said before he is sex on stick. Mack notes he only gets prettier with age. He's not wrong...it’s true. Loved Eric since his DOOL days. Was in love with him then as a teenager and even more so now ha So that is accurate. Aged like a fine ass wine. *chef kiss*

Tim pulls Mack aside and wants to talk. Lets him know if he wants to run around on his wife that's his business. But he looks high as a kite. I love the way Lucy watches the interaction. Already in protect Tim emotionally mode. Mack tells him it's just oxy. He got hurt on the job month ago and the pain is a bear.

He takes off before Tim can say more and the look of worry on Lucy's face only increases. She can tell Tim is shook up about seeing his old friend this way. It’s affecting him more than he would like. I think he must’ve been in the academy with Tim. To watch someone you used to be close fall from grace is never easy to watch. Especially when it's so closely related to what Isabel was like.

Lucy spies on Harper giving a lecture to potential female UC’s in the making. You can see her interest is piqued. Harper even spots her before she shuts the door. Cracks me up the way she jumps when Tim catches her. I always love me some arm crossed disapproving Tim. Mmm. gimme. His emotions are written all over his face. They honestly color his attitude for almost the entirety of this episode. He’s not upset she snuck a peak. He’s upset she’s interested in UC. The way he looks back that that sign says it all. A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach has settled and its not going anywhere.

This next scene we start to see Tim’s demons about UC surface a little. That good mood of his is long gone. He immediately confronts her about it. Asking her if she was spying in on seminars? She can’t lie to save her life when he looks at her. She adorably replies maybe…She's so excited by the prospect of UC she isn’t picking up on the stress Tim is throwing down in this scene.

He chews her out a little for spying and why it was wrong. I think we all know this has zero to do with the spying. That it 100 percent has to do with the subject matter that’s peaked her interest. He is trying to cut this off at the pass. He is not remotely excited about her being interested in UC at all..

We return to our couple reporting to Mack’s room. His wife Beth is banging on the door. His mistress won’t let her in. Tim doesn't have time for this and kicks the door down. Oh my. He runs inside and sees Mack has OD’d. Lucy goes and gets the Narcan to revive him. Mack comes to and is begging his wife to stay. He is so very out of it. His wife storms off saying she can’t do this anymore. Ugh poor Tim. The look he shares with Lucy kills me. The pre-tears and all. The fact that he's upset and looks back at her for support. My heart. This was not how he envisioned spending this day. It was supposed to be an easy security site job that turned into so much more.

Tim rejoins Mack at the hospital. He is so very angry with him. His pre-tears are killing me in these scenes with Mack. Poor Tim this ep is bringing up a lot of demons for him. Ones he truly thought he was putting behind him. Not just UC ones either. Telling Mack he’s not making the same mistakes he did with Isabel. Tim has made major strides when it comes to her but those scars still linger. They’re not gone and probably never will be fully. I’m sure he still tortures himself about his inaction with her. He won't do that again. To Tim this is a way to make up for that. Atone for that sin.

Lucy is leaving for the day when she spots Harper waiting at her car. Now I said when Harper joined the show how excited I was. That her and Lucy’s relationship was one of those reasons. These are the moments that I love so much. Harper is straight with her and says 'You know we’re gonna have to talk about it right?' Clearly referring to her sneaking a peak.

Lucy thinks Harper is there to scold here just like Tim did. The beautiful thing about this scene is she doesn’t. Nyla encourages and supports her UC aspirations. This is where she becomes her UC mentee really. After Lucy explains why she peaked in Harper can’t help but want to help Lucy with this.

Can sense her genuine excitement about it. Even agrees to drinks to talk about it. Hell it’s her idea how far we’ve come ❤️ Lucy postpones her interview with Tamara to go out with Nyla. Harper then gets a distress call from one of her old UC contacts. Asks if Lucy wants to come instead of a rain check on drinks? She jumps on this offer immediately. Wanting to see first hand what an operation is like.

Harper sends Lucy into the bar solo while she spots the tail on her friend. Lucy looks so amped to prove herself. She finds June or ‘Coco’ as she’s known right now at the bar. Sato joins the table immediately after Lucy does. Obviously he is the tail June has been worried about. The balls on Lucy in this moment. If Tim could see her right now he would have a friggin heart attack. Lucy throws a damn drink in his face.

She covers her ass so well and pretends she’s the chemist. Really smart move on her end. Even though he buys Lucy’s story Sato and his guard make them both move outdoors. Harper is waiting in the wings like the BAMF she is. Takes out Sato’s guard easily. Harper tells Coco there’s a tracker on her car. They must be cops. Sato is now the one in trouble saying they’re not. Salonga his boss just wanted them surveilled.

Coco up's the price for pissing them off. He tells them if they do the price hike Lucy better be at the buy. Harper tries to shield Lucy. Telling them she doesn’t go on buys. Lucy jumps in and says she’ll go. That she's already spent her share in her head. Shocking both Harper and June. If Tim could see this he would be losing his damn mind. Well he will later on….

Crazy how good she is at this right away. Harper notices the immediate potential in her. They tell her she better bone up on chemistry. She beams like the nerd we all know and love. Says she got straight A’s in chemistry in high school. Of course you did haha Lucy gets so caught up in the moment she forgets she was supposed to do the report with Tamara. Oops.

Tim comes to Grey’s office about his report on Mack. Wade is asking him if he’s sure he wants to do it this way? Tim so desperate to right the wrong he did with Isabel he doesn’t hesitate. Says it’s the right thing to do. That it’s what he should’ve done with Isabel in first place. He warns him he'll lose his pension. Tim continues on says its right thing to do. Grey doesn’t disagree. Wade then tells him Lucy will be occupied with a UC op today. He is none too pleased about this and quickly heads to roll call room.

Tim acting like a mad worried husband from here on out. He is SEETHING above. That determined strut and crossing of his arms. His whole demeanor screaming his discontent. Anger ready to spill over onto Harper. So very worried because Lucy has volunteered for a UC op and a very dangerous one at that. He doesn’t hide his stress in the least. Lucy has become such a fixture in his life at this point. To potentially risk losing her to a UC op like he did Isabel…He can't handle the idea of it. The rest of this scene reflects that.

His demons coming out to play extra hard in this one for him. Lucy looks so excited when she's asked to stand up. She's so ready to prove herself. She is just excited in general. Then she turns around and sees Tim’s disapproving stance and stare. She freezes immediately and instantly feels reprimanded. Looks back at him one more time and sees his body language hasn't changed. Tim is emanating anger and Lucy knows it. Whew lord. He’s ready to eat Harper.

Before we move on let's take a moment to enjoy the forearm porn we’re getting here in the gif above. Hot damn. Arms are crossed, biceps bulging and his forearms look toned as hell. Sweet baby James should be a crime to be this attractive. But let’s get back to the episode before I gawk at him any further LMAO

The very SECOND the meeting is over Tim is all over Harper. Pushes off the wall and storms toward her. He is ready to tear her a new one about allowing this. Let’s remember this episode has been VERY rough on Tim to this point. It’s like he’s being forced down memory lane in the worst way possible. With maximum PTSD. He started the ep casual, having fun with Lucy. Even bringing up Isabel at a UC convention without it bothering him. Then Mack showed up and dominoes started to fall and haven't stopped. This scene is his boiling point with good reason.

From Mack who’s his friend forcing him to relieve his trauma with Isabel. Having to make an ethical call about his career due to him becoming an addict. To Lucy going undercover which he feels she was roped into. She wasn’t but he’s not exactly thinking straight right now. It's what happens when our emotions drown us. The logical part of our brain disconnects and all that’s left is intense suffocating emotion. Lashing out trying to get some semblance of control.

We also need to remember the last time he was involved in a UC op Isabel was shot in the head. Almost died. His PTSD is crying out in his scene. Harper tries to calm Tim down by saying she volunteered, Grey approved it and she has the best backup she could possibly have. The thing is though no matter of logic is going to penetrate his panic right now. Tim telling Harper she’s using Lucy and he’s losing his mind over it. He felt Isabel was used in her OP and now those feelings are bleeding over into Lucy’s. He is showing all his cards emotionally in this scene. The sheer terror he feels over Lucy going under cover. He doesn't want to lose her to same thing.

I love the writers for tapping back into these issues of his. They don’t just go away. They tend to linger on for a long time. They’ve left deep scars on him. This shows how raw this nerve still is for Tim. Now to top his day off they’re throwing his person into the one thing he fears the most. Lucy has become the one constant in his life. This incredibly resilient sunshine person that has become so important to him. He can’t stand the thought of being hurt or worse. His fears from 2x19 echoing in this scene. About not being about to protect her. To losing her and him having no say in the result.

I don’t think Tim even understands why he’s reacting this way. Most of their relationship he is like this. Acts without understanding the why behind it. Only that it is a driving force for him. It's not until 4x22 he starts to understand why he acts the way he does with her. He only knows right now it’s instinctual and he can’t stop himself from letting it out.

Lucy looks absolutely crushed by the time he says his line about her being used. The look they share before before he walks away. It's crushing to say the least. We all know how badly she wants to impress him. For him to be proud of her and what she’s accomplished to even be in this OP. Tim has always had her back. Supported her and truly seen her as a person. Had unrelenting faith in her this entire time. To not have that in this moment is rocking her entire world.

I adore Nyla for how she helps Lucy after Tim hastily departs. She’s the best mentor Lucy could have. I love these moments between them. The way she tells her it’s Tim’s issues not her. (It’s true but also it being Lucy adds tons of fuel to the fire for him) Lucy feeling stupid for wanting him to be proud. Harper is so wonderful in validating how she is feeling.

Doesn’t shame her for wanting Tim’s approval. That he got her this far. It makes sense she would want that. Tells her there is NOTHING wrong with it. Such a good scene for them. Why I love their dynamic so much. Harper is so good for Lucy and her confidence building. She covers what Tim can't. What I love about it. These were the scenes I was so excited to get to once she was on the show for these reviews.

Tim and Nolan have joined the op to surveil overhead. No way in hell he wasn’t going to be apart of this. I'm sure after that scene with Harper no one was going to stand in his way. Also how else could obsessively keep his eye on her if he’s at the station? Hehe Nolan thinks he’s helping by comforting Tim in this scene. Sorry John you don’t know him like that and his replies show it.

He is gruff, deflects and is cocky in his replies. All things he does with those he’s not comfortable around. Only Lucy gets soft Tim. I will commend Nolan for having the balls to say anything though. The gall of Tim to say 'Who said I was worried?’ Uh only anyone who’s interacted with you since this whole thing started. LOL The way you bit off Harpers head in front of a room full of people. But sure love you’re not worried…

Eric is so amazing in this scene. His face says the opposite of 'not worried' His stiff body language encompassing all his immense worry. Side note let’s not ignore the amazing shots of his jawline in this scene. Could cut glass on that thing. All scruffy too mmm love it lick it like a lollipop. Ahem anyways...His continued annoyance with Nolan shows as the scene goes on.

Especially when he tells Tim about how Lucy can handle herself. Tim is VERY aware of how capable she is. It’s why he’s a little offended in his reply. He seems annoyed Nolan even mentions she can handle it. As if he's telling Tim this for the first time. Like he hasn't ridden with her pretty much every day for a year plus. He's watched her develop into who she is now. He knows dude. Nobody knows it better than Tim Bradford how damn capable she is ya schmuck...(Oops my Nolan annoyance is showing) It’s what shakes him the most with her interest in UC. That she’s going to excel at it and that scares the hell out of him.

He is playing the worried husband to the letter. Easy Tim your feelings are showing. Showing enough that John Nolan who is usually scared of you is commenting on it. John is doing it to comfort Tim which I respect. But for Tim when it's not Lucy he isn't as receptive. As I stated about earlier he is only going to deflect, be cocky and gruff in his replies. Hence his line above. Tim isn’t going to be able to relax or breathe till she’s on the other side of this. So until then he is going to ward off Nolan and his compassion by being self assured. That he trained her so he’s not “worried". Whatever gets you through love.

Lucy acts like a complete bad ass during the whole thing. No surprise. Gets pulled into the limo with the boss and holds her own. Even speaks Tagalog impressing Salonga even further. Writes out the formula and preserves the OP. Doesn’t take long before she’s released and they’re given the money. That’s when everyone swoops in and arrests everyone. I read in theflyingdutchwoman’s amazing analysis in their anatomy Of a scene series (if you haven't read her stuff I highly recommend it) about Tim bailing on his post during this section. I couldn’t agree more I have no doubt the minute she stepped into that limo his ass was off that rooftop immediately. Ready to go when she needed him.

Tim is in fierce protector mode until he reaches Lucy. Then breathes a sigh of relief. Morphing into soft Tim instantly. Only for her. He quietly asks her if she’s ok? That small set of words exposing EVERYTHING about how he’s feeling. The anxiety and how stressed he was till this moment. She nods fervently and his body continues to relax. What follows this is so sweet. Let’s admire the way he holds her cuffed hands.

How gentle he is with her as he escorts her to the shop. He could have put his hands on her arms or elbow like Nyla got with Nolan. But then Nolan isn’t in in love with Nyla…He legit held her hands all the way to the patrol car. I love it sfm. Like he needed to do this to ground himself after the adrenaline rush he just experienced. Proving to himself that she’s there. She’s safe and he can relax.

Then comes the more beautiful part of the scene and really the episode if you ask me. Lucy isn’t expecting anything from Tim in this moment. Last time she saw him was his outburst about her even doing this. Then in the most Tim Bradford-esc way he voices how very proud he is of her. By telling her ‘You did good.’ To anyone else might not mean much. Or seem like much. To Lucy Chen it means the entire world. She knows Tim’s hang ups with UC. The demons he had arise with this. She also knows he’s putting aside those feelings to let her know he’s proud of her. Which is HUGE.

Because at the end of the day this OP was about Lucy and building her confidence in this area. He wants her to know that and does so. She craves his approval and support so much. Let’s not forget she grew up in an emotionally abusive household as well. Parents who withheld praise and support for anything she did. Never proud her. (I know that life) It’s why Tim’s approval means so damn much to her.

Why she lives and strives for it. Tim has had nothing but unconditional faith and support in her since day one. When he blew up about her doing this she thought she had lost that. These three words restore that for her. I don’t think Tim even knew the depth of how much him being proud of her meant. Ugh these idiots. I love them and their slow burn sfm. To round out the scene I adore Nyla’s wink at the end. She is also so very proud of Lucy. Handled herself like a damn pro. I love her so much for the impact she has on Lucy it’s unreal.

Poor Tim (said this a lot but seriously this ep is hard on him) has the episode end pretty roughly for him. Beth comes to find him and rip him a new one. Tim tells her he can’t excuse the past. But this is now and he stands by what he did. It calls back to 3x04 when he was telling Lucy the same thing. That he can’t fix what he did then but would make sure it wouldn’t happen again.

This situation is proof of that. Doing for Mack what he should’ve done for Isabel. It’s awful to watch her tear him apart. But the right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same. Unfortunately this is very true for Tim in this instance. He ends this ep on a low note and I just wanna hug him.

For Lucy it ends better. She makes up the report for Tamara by providing not just herself but Nyla and June for her repot as well. It’s cute to watch Tamara absorb all their banter. I love Lucy’s speech here it’s so good. Praising the women next to her in a way Tamara is revering them all. It's perfect way to the ep for them both. Such a good one.

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Side notes-non chenford

I love the introduction of Silas. I think that’s it’s didn’t really care about Nolan’s classes SL tbh. But cool castle reunion.

Thank you always to those who like, reblog and comment. Make creating these reviews so worth it shall see you all in 3x07 :)

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saltygilmores · 10 months ago

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THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP6: AKA LORELAI GILMORE HAS FINALLY LOST HER FEW REMAINING MARBLES (PART 5)

This is going to be a short one because I need as much room as possible for the next scene (if you don't know what it is, you'll know soon) so let's get this out of the way. Lorelai begins to stew in a jealous rage over Sherry and Crusty's Relation-Shit. . So she escapes to the bathroom, where she opens Sherry's medicine cabinet, tilts her picture frames and yanks some towels off the wall.

Okay Lorelai but that was the only thing Sherry got right about the little scheme she hatched to kidnap Rory (again).

A custody battle has broken out out between Sherry and Lorelai as they fight over who gets custody of Rory on weekends, like she's 4 years old or the class hamster. ( as if Rory isn't 18 years old and as if this Creepy Sherry person has any say in absolutely anything ever on Earth). Mini Lorelai Jr. here is a pathological people pleaser and it's pretty much 95% Lorelai Senior's fault she ended up this way, that's why she agrees to everything. Wait, why is Lorelai suddenly taking her anger out on Rory? What is happening? But on the other hand, please, Rory... GROW A SPINE. I'm begging you.

Okay, NOW what crazy nonsense baloney are you on about, woman? Please. Enlighten us on why you wished this unborn child who is not biologically related to you in any way and holds aboslutely no fucking signifiance in your life should have been a boy.

Jesus Christ, Lor. Rory: She couldn't choose the sex of her baby. Lorelai: Well if Ms Mani Pedi can schedule her birth then she could do that! In 2002 the year of our Lord Lorelai has never heard of scheduled c-sections. But "I have to do GiGi at 5" is still one of the great unexpected one liners of this season that got a genuine laugh out of me, figures it would have to come from someone so unimportant as Creepy Sherry. I'm just going to quickly summarize Lorelai's break from reality (which she only had an extremely tenuous grasp on to begin with before this point) and why she's mad at Sherry: -Sherry's baby is a girl -Sherry's baby is a scheduled c-section -Sherry enjoys manicures and pedicures (something that is hardly out of reach for middle class peasants like Lorelai, you can even get a manicure at Walmart for Pete’s sake) -Rory and GiGi sound "identical" (Ror-Ee/ Gee-Gee) so Sherry is stealing her baby’s name from 18 years ago -Sherry referred to Gigi as a "ballerina" -Sherry has a personal preference for the color green instead of pink for her infant girl --Lorelai hates the jazz music being played at the baby shower; she's also upset imainging that Sherry is forcing her poor Crusty to listen to boring jazz against his will, tainting his apparently perfect taste in CrustyMusic (and I wish Sherry would force Crusty listen to so much boring jazz that he falls asleep and starts sleepwalking and walks through a plate glass window, but we can't always get what we want can we Lorelai) -Sherry had the unmitigated gall to pick up Crusty's cd collection from piles on the floor and organize the cds neatly onto a shelf (this one really upset her) -Lorelai is laboring under not one but two simulatenous insane delusions, one being that Sherry is desperate to copy her right down to her (ADULT) child's (not choose-able) sex and name, but at the same time Sherry is also sticking her nose up at Lorelai’s unremarkable middle class-ish motherhood with her trim pregnancy figure, fancy scheduled birth, organized home, sophisticated taste in music and pedicures -Lorelai wants to "mess up her bed" and "rearrange her whole house" and "un color coordinate her sheets" as if poor Sherry's bed hasn't already been tainted by having sex with Crusty on those sheets -Lorelai wasted her day because she could have been out shoe shopping instead of attending this baby shower (who's fault is this? I thought Rory had a driver's license? What ever happened to that? Why couldn't Rory drive up to Boston alone? You offered to take her). -Lorelai asks Rory if she could set Sherry's house on fire.

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore #tdde #take the deviled eggs #gilmore girls season 3 #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #insanity #creepy sherry

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arwainian · 3 months ago

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Reading This Week 2024 #33

As warned, I come to you a day late because I was out of my house from 7:20am to 9:20pm. That time out was planned but also along the way my car battery died so I've sent it to the shop to get it looked at

I've really been in the zone with audiobooks this week, and I also worked on reading through the comic books I've had languishing on my shelf

Finished:

Blue Box, Vol. 1 by Kouji Miura, translated by Christine Dashiell cute manga about some students at a very sports focused high school, badminton playing boy protagonist with a HUGE crush on basketball playing upperclassman girl. pretty cute, great art

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg I am so glad that my library system had a physical copy of the 20th anniversary edition. It felt like an honor to hold this book in my hand. As expected, I cried at several points reading this. I have to say though, the mythos that has sprung up around this book (on tumblr but I'm sure elsewhere) as a Lesbian Book really really undersells how much this book's perspective is just as much if not more Working Class. it's a book about labor and difficulty making ends meet while butch: Jess' decision to pass as a man is certainly a gender-identity based decision but crucially it is also a financial one in hopes of getting a better job. Anyway. read the actual book

Remina by Junji Ito, translated by Jocelyn Allen read to keep up with Shelved by Genre. didn't like this one

Boys Weekend by Mattie Lubchansky recommended by a friend, graphic novel where a transfem attends the bachelor party of their old college buddy while the casino town they're in is taken over by a tech-startup-cult

The Empire of Gold by S.A. Chakraborty, narrated by Soneela Nankani okay yeah I spent like the last 2 hours of the audiobook jumping up and down my hallway. this was pretty rad, thanks for the rec dad. if you, like me, are put off by the YA characterization vibes in the first book, the characters do grow up

only fooling yourself by volefriend on ao3

System Collapse by Martha Wells, narrated by Kevin R. Free the murderbot diaries are always great

Jonny Appleseed by Joshua Whitehead, narrated by the author recommended to me by a friend! interesting and matter of fact perspective on racialized sex work from a two-spirit person

The Marlow Murder Club by Robert Thorogood, narrated by Nicolette McKenzie I'm going to come clean, I read this because I forgot the title of The Thursday Murder Club. however I really enjoyed this band of middle aged and older british ladies becoming friends and solving murders

Good Deeds #1-2 written by Che Grayson, art by Kelsey Ramsay, colors by Ronda Pattison comic about a small Florida town with unsettling supernatural stuff happening. I will be tracking down the other issues

Washed in the Blood #1 written by Kevin Roditeli, art by Rob Cannon, Kostas Pantoulas, and Vivi Ekhart the art and the lettering in this comic is crazy fun, but the story might be too "ooh so edgy" for me. I'll keep an eye out for the other issues but wont prioritize it

Crashing #1-3 written by Matthew Klein, art by Morgan Beem, colors by Triona Farrell miniseries focused on a doctor treating superpowered patients. absolutely going to find the other two issues of it, I need to see where this ends

What Feasts at Night by T. Kingfisher sequel to What Moves the Dead. it wasn't as good as the first one but it was still pretty enjoyable horror

Started/Ongoing:

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch, narrated by Michael Page so excited to be reading this for the sff bookclub. too clever for their own good con man scoundrels are a favored character type of mine

Invisible Kingdom, Vol. 1: Walking the Path written by G. Willow WIlson, art by Christian Ward scifi comic that looked cool! a comic book shop employee recommended it to a friend, and I remembered I'd seen it at my library so I picked it up to check out (gorgeous scifi art)

little warrior by kathkin on ao3 read the next chapter :)

chapter 9 of follow the sun by verdantstars on ao3 new chapter out of a fire emblem three houses fic i like!

DNFs:

The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde this is hopefully just a temporary dnf. it was due back at the library and i did not have time to finish reading it before then. with any luck I'll check it out again when i have a bit more poetry reading motivation

Ragnarok by A.S. Byatt, narrated by Harriet Walter

Portrait of a Thief by Grace D. Li, narrated by Eunice Wong and Austin Ku

Reading Plans:

obviously The Lies of Locke Lamora is on my reading plan list bc its the sff book club pick for september! and I'll be reading Sensor to keep up with Shelved by Genre

other books I have out from the library and want to try out but may not finish reading: Bloom Into You Vol. 2 by Nakatani Nio, The Sprite and the Gardener by Rii Abrego and Joe Whitt, Female Husbands: A Trans History by Jen Manion, narrated by Kate Harper, The River of Silver by S.A. Chakraborty, narrated by Soneela Nankani

and I want to read more of the books that exist on my physical bookshelves. some of that I've been doing by borrowing the audiobook versions of them (like Jonny Appleseed and System Collapse above) but others dont have that option

#cal reading log #arwainian princessoid decrees #cal reads comics

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crater-lake · 8 months ago

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3/3/24

I will report on everything that is real. In the last few days, I have hooked up with three different men. The first one was a 20 year old. He has a big red rash right above his ass and explained that he couldn't bottom because he had had an enema, or something, like a colonoscopy. He was very nerdy and uncool and not suave at all. He kissed really badly. The fucking felt like nothing. I felt bothered. I labor to write these words, mostly because I am bored. I am having coffee right now because I didn't drink any this morning because the landlady I dislike was around. I try to avoid her at all costs because we don't talk normally so it is extremely awkward making any interactions with her. Talking to Fanny is fine though. I'll get to the important stuff later.

While this boy was fucking me, I asked him to stop and he did. He was respectful. I watched him get dressed in silence. Then he left. I blocked him instantly. That made me feel sad. So what?

The next dude I met was from Jordan. He was too nice and kind. We had a discussion about too much access via Grindr and I said it was a problem. He explained if I didn't try to exact control over it, it would be fine. I explained the problem was not control, it was access. I said when pleasure is everything, I do not know how to live. I didn't say that I meant it with my eyes. I said I take issue with too much access. Things that are not sacred anymore which still should be sacred. That I marvel that another man wants to touch this naked body, and the Earth looms silently through space... he fucked me good after I said crazy things about the world. Rosalia was on. Then Mitski. He ate my ass while The Land is Inhospitable and so are we was on. I said change that music. I didn't care about anything expertly. I only care about feeling far away and immune. I looked at the ceiling and really felt the penetration and felt a little bothered.

The last dude I met from today was Danish and 27 and named Nik, and was very kind. He thought I was very hot and I liked how he acted. I would meet up with him again- he was very normal. He liked to watch me masturbate. He went to Ecuador on holiday. I did not explain how there is an important part of myself there, like on this app.

I remember during my Friday lesson, the last one, when the class cheered for me, that I had the striking realization that the students and teachers had no inclination or awareness of my collapsing inner life. I have just spent the last 3 days lying down, if not forced to do something by social plans, to which I am indebted. It has been really hard and it's hard to know why. Friday was bed and Saturday after brunch before Mollys apartment, and today was bed. I keep napping to avoid day. I am not tired. I did not drink coffee to avoid my evil landlady (she is not evil) and there are dishes in my room. At least I kept the window opened.

I don't want to talk about this because it is wound sensitive but I went ice skating with Lorenz and Molly on Thursday and I felt jubilant. I felt like I was introducing my boyfriend to a good friend. We were ice skating in front of the Rathaus and I am on my Fulbright (I am not) and with beautiful people doing beautiful things. I was trying to express this excitement to him, and he asked me, "what do you think this is?" And I said, "what do you mean?" And he said, "it's not like you're introducing your boyfriend to your friend." But what would it be then? It felt like a massive rejection and I don't know how to confront it because it requires definition of the relationship which I feel anxious to do.

I believe this interaction has impacted the quality of my weekend, and also, the lack of running generally worsens the quality of my life. I feel this soreness in the back of throat that has been there since that 36 year old man fucked me and I feel so so so tired, it feels pretty insurmountable, to run through the overwhelming exhaustion, but I will try tomorrow. I will try tomorrow.

I don't feel safe in any language except in my own. I sent Lorenz the photo of me Molly and himself and all he said in response was "lol." Then I said nothing for a day and then he sent me a YouTube video, to which I said nothing. Nothing.

My best friend is experiencing tremendous suffering and it makes me feel insane. We are both gripping on for dear life. She's the only one who is the closest to the truth about the Grindr Everything.

I napped with Lorenz and I felt happy. The wind was bringing in Spring. His dirty blond hair smelt like the ocean. I was happy. I felt so lucky to kiss his very beautiful face. There is nothing better than a man's very beautiful face that I can hold and kiss! And how confirming it feels. The knot in my stomach loosens. The rush of warmth. My brain feels like a working part in the body's broken pleasure system.

I applied for the Summer camp position and I am not in bed right now which makes me feel proud. I am having the recurring thought that Molly and Lisa are better friends and do not suffer in this way at all and it is not intelligible. I would not speak about this correctly, and specifically not with Noah.

I gave Lorenz a massage. I felt the tension splicing his spine. I called it out. A wolf calls through me to you. This was Tuesday. I was happy. I didn't sleep enough. I felt like a winner the next day. Of course I love him. It is not even fatal. I am just real!

If I have a meteorite or satellite poem about this, promise me it starts with his name, so I remember the quiet nights in his bedroom, and the interludes of peace that break outside the prison of pleasure! May the lord open,

0 notes

the-mess-of-a-dreamerrr · 1 year ago

Text

November 20, 2023

Currently, I am rocking in the nursery with my son asleep on my chest. The past week and a half has been pure survival mode. However, they have been my most cherished memories.

Everyone is asking me if I now “get it.” If my love for Mason hit me when he was placed in my arms. And I have to say no, it didn’t. Because I’ve fiercely loved this boy from the start. And right before he came I made the decision to demand for more for his and my future. Knowing I would possibly sacrifice the past decade if I did. I would fight a million battles for him. And now, he is just on this side of the world. Nothing is different except now I get to admire him.

Being his mom is the most natural thing I’ve ever done. I was expecting a little more of a shift inside of me. A struggle to change from Margaret the individual to Margaret the mom. It didn’t happen. I’m just Margaret who is also a mom.

His delivery was traumatic. Not because of my pain…but more so for my fear for Mason. He couldn’t handle my contractions. From the very first major contraction I had his heart stopped. The crash team had to come in, flip me over, put an oxygen mask on me, give me a shot to stop contractions, stick medicine and a heart monitor up me, people were told to prep the OR….and that was only the first* contraction. His heart rate came back but this happened FIVE other times. The final time they were about to wheel me back but my doctor noticed I was at 10 cm and asked if I thought I could push him out FAST. I said…let’s go. I sobbed, I pushed, he was born. It was scary. So many times I thought we had lost Mason. That I thought I was about to lose him. I wouldn’t have survived if that happened. But, he’s here. And he is perfect.

Spencer was asleep my entire labor. The crash team had to walk over him. He did come through for me during the pushing but made me furious when describing my labor as “crazy but pretty easy.” He’s struggling being a father. He calls him “the kid.” The first night home I had to tell him to back away from my child and leave the room because of how angry he was at him. My mom heard him cursing and screaming at Mason the next night and the next day she said if she heard it again she was going to slap him because it’s verbal abuse and if he is able to verbally abuse a baby than she is concerned what else he would do once he got older. My dad had a chat with him that weekend before he went home and I don’t know what my dad said but he’s been better. He’s no longer cursing and screaming at him.

I’m more exhausted than I ever thought possible but it’s worth it. He’s so worth it.

-MV

0 notes

nightwishesworld · 4 years ago

Text

Babysitting (Part 1)

You and Alcina are roped into taking care of your friend's daughter for a few days. Alcina is...less than excited about it. I mean, come on, a baby in Castle Dimitrescu? What could possibly go wrong?!

***********************

The warmth of the afternoon sun crept its way into the windows of Castle Dimitrescu. Both you and Alcina decided it was a beautiful day to take your afternoon tea in the gardens instead of the library . Blooms grew in newly fragranced air, the sweet petals that fluttered reflected by the honeyed-sweetness within. The garden birds always warm your heart. They bring so much joy just from watching them play and dance around the hedges. There are so many of them out today, large and small, brown, red-capped, and golden stripped. You love listening to their chirping, each singing its own beautiful song.

Alcina held your hand over the table as she sipped her special blend of tea.

“Oh, Darling, did I tell you Cristofor and Lucia are going out of town? He says it’s for business but honestly, I think they just want to have a break from the baby. I mean, I don’t blame them, it’s their first kid and you know how hectic everything’s been for them lately."

Alcina nods. “Yes, well, it didn’t help that they were a little unprepared for baby Julianna. That’s her name, right? I remember we offered to buy a few things for them before she was born.”

“Yeah, that’s it, but I just call her Jewel. My precious little gem. I guess they’re gonna be gone for the extended weekend and need someone to watch her.”

Alcina scoffs. “I pity those they choose.”

“Oh stop it, Alcina, it won’t be that bad.”

She stops what she’s doing, nearly choking on her tea, and just stares at you. “You didn’t. You did not! Please for the love of Mother Miranda tell me you didn’t say we would take care of her!”

Your silence was all the answer she needed.

“Why would you do that? Castle Dimitrescu is no place for a baby!”

“Tell that to Cris! I tried telling him that and all he did was assure me that everything would be fine. They feel Jewel would be safest in our care; they were practically begging, Al. What was I supposed to say?”

“No?” You roll your eyes at her. “What about their family? Are they really not available?”

“Lucia said she would feel guilty asking her folks to do any more for them. They usually watch her every day Cris and Lucia are at work. Imagine that plus three straight days; I would want a break too.”

Alcina stayed silent.

“They’re gonna stop by in a few days with some stuff, like diapers and toys and things.”

Alcina huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m so glad you discussed the details so thoroughly with them.”

“I figured you would say no. Look, I’m sorry I went behind your back but they really need a babysitter and they don’t trust anyone as they do us. Besides, I’m Jule’s unofficial aunt, I don’t think I can say no to something like this. I know you don’t like kids, but-”

“What are you talking about? I love seeing little Julianna.”

“You do? Cause every time they come to visit you seem kind of...distant”

“I don’t...I don’t like holding her. She’s too tiny and fragile for someone like me to be holding.”

“Someone like you?” Then it dawned on you. “Oh, Alci. You don’t actually believe that, do you? You’re always so gentle with her.”

“Because if I’m not delicate I’ll crush her.” Alcina’s face held sorrow to it, not evident to most individuals.

“You wouldn’t crush her, Alci. I know you better than that. You literally came running into my study the other day because I screamed ‘spider,’ and then carried me out because I lost sight of it. You’re a lot more gentle than you’re giving yourself credit.You're a good, thoughtful, and gentle person Alci. Anyone who can’t see that is purely idiotic,” I muttered under my breath.

“I suppose it’s not the worst thing in the world, having a baby running around the castle. And we have time to babyproof everything.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard, love, she’s only seven months old. She’s only just starting to learn how to crawl.”

You were talking but Alcina wasn’t listening. She was too busy making a mental checklist of everything that needed to be done before baby Julianna arrived. “Hmm? Oh yes, of course, darling. Do you know where they got those baby gates? We’re going to need quite a few of them.”

“Alci, I don’t think we’ll need-” She’s already walked away. “ Hey, at least you’re embracing it?”

True to his word, Cris arrived at the castle three days later with a carriage full of supplies. You wanted to welcome them with Alcina, but the matriarch was nowhere to be found. The past few days for her have been spent deep cleaning the walls and floors, which really sucked, especially for Bela, Cassi, and Dani. They stuck doing the hard labor as Alcina bossed them around.

You greeted him with a tight hug. “Thank god you’re here. Alcina’s going crazy trying to babyproof everything. I don’t think the castle’s ever been this protected. Or this clean,” I muttered the last part under my breath.

Cris put a hand over his heart. “Oh, she doesn’t have to do that! Julianna can barely crawl five feet. Besides, I know for certain this place is much neater than our house, even on a bad day. She would have been perfectly fine.”

“I tried to tell her to not worry so much, but it just goes in one ear and out the other. Perhaps if she hears it from you she’ll finally listen,” I rolled my eyes playfully.

Cris nods. “And you wonder why I think Julianna’s so safe up here. I’ll be sure to mention it to Alcina. Do you wanna unload this stuff now or wait for her?”

You glance behind him to the carriage. There were a few large bags filled with miscellaneous items as well as a few larger things on the back seat not bagged at all like the playpen. “I don’t even know where she is, Cris. And I’d offer to have the girls help, but they’re hiding from Alci. Let’s just get started. We can put it in the lounge in the foyer until Alcina comes around.”

“Sounds like a plan. Some of this stuff I’ll bring more of when we drop her off, like diapers, you’ll never have enough diapers,” he says as he tosses you a bag.

“So you’ve said. Didn’t you have a nightmare about it once?”

“Before Lucia even went into labor. We ran out and every shop in a 50-mile radius was sold out. To date, it’s one of my worst nightmares.”

You laughed. “So where are you guys going? I mean, really going. You don’t actually think I believe that crap about a Mortician Expo, do you?”

Cris gave you a look of skepticism and stayed silent as if he were planning his next move.

“Relax man, I don’t actually care. Taking care of a baby is more work than I can imagine. I would want a break too!” The statement seemed to ease him.

“Nowhere special. We made reservations at a nice hotel a few hours south of here; it’s got a pool, hot tub, couples massages, the works!”

You nod, tossing the last of the bags by the lounge. “Nice! You guys deserve it, like I said, I can’t imagine how much work taking care of Julianna is.”

“You won’t have to in a few days,” he laughed.

“I’m excited now, but something tells me I won’t be in a few days. Just sleep deprived!”

“Nah you’ll love it. It’s just, well only slightly tiring! That’s all. Should we go looking for Alcina? I wanna go over Julianna’s schedule with both of you.”

“She knew you were coming so she should be here any minute now. I’m sure she just lost track of time bossing the girls around. The entire west wing has been baby-proofed and when I mean the entire wing, I mean the entire wing. She had Daniela take down all of the ornate weapons and armor from the walls while Bela and Cassi scrubbed everything. And that was just this morning.”

“I’ll be sure to thank them then,” Cris chuckled lightheartedly.

As if on cue, you can just make out the sound of high heels rushing down the corridor, only to stop abruptly just around the corner. Knowing Alcina she was probably adjusting herself to look like her usual well-presented way. Sure as rain, Alcina approached looking as elegant as ever. “Oh Cristofor, please forgive me. It’s been total chaos around here- I completely lost track of time and-”

Cris waved it off and took her hand in his, bringing it up so he could kiss her wedding ring. “Think nothing of it, Alcina. I heard you’ve been keeping yourself busy.”

The matriarch sent you a glare that you shrug off with a smug smile.

“You don’t need to worry about anything, Alcina. I know my little girl will be in the best care possible up here. There’s no one Lucia and I trust more.”

“That is one very generous statement, Cristofor, but a castle is still no place for a baby, especially this one.”

“That may hold some truth, but most of all that...messy business stays in the basement, right?”

“All of it does,” you answer for Alcina. “Even I’m not allowed down there and we’ve been married for three and a half years!”

“And for good reason,” Alcina says. “You know what goes on down there. Why would I put my wife’s life in danger?”

You were about to retaliate but Cris wrapped his arms around the both of you. “Let’s just get this stuff upstairs, huh? Far the fuck away from the basement and whatever goes on down there.”

Alcina opens her mouth but Cris shakes his head profusely. “Nope, don’t want to know. Let’s just get to the bedroom. Wow, the walls do look bare.”

“Indeed,” Alcina nodded. “It’s a good thing little Julianna is staying, I should have had the walls deep cleaned nearly decades ago,” she let out an elegant laugh.

“I hope you didn’t do all this just for us.” Cris looked in awe as the various portraits and ornate weapons decorating the walls became more scarce as they neared the master bedroom. It made this part of the castle feel abandoned. The chemical smell of cleaning solvents was strong, but it would surely be gone in time for Julianna’s arrival.

“Of course I did. You are family and you deserve nothing but the best possible care.”

Cristofor shakes his head. "You're a good woman, Alcina. I genuinely hope you know that."

She gives him a warm smile while holding the bedroom door open for him. "I try to be."

"So," he sets down his two large boxes of supplies to rub his back. "Where do you want this stuff?"

"At the foot of the bed for now," you shrug. "Alcina and I will organize everything once it's all here."

He nodded and kicked it lazily to the end of the bed and took a seat on the mattress. "If we wanna be lazy we could shove the rest of the boxes in the playpen and carry it all up in one trip."

"We can do that," you smiled. "Then we can start organizing everything."

"And while we're doing that I'd like to walk you through Julianna's schedule. Lucia made you a copy with a couple of notes on how to do specific things...it's all well let’s just say pretty detailed," he laughed.

A look of fear crossed over the matriarch's face for a moment. "Why don't I go grab it? Then you two can start unpacking. If I run into the girls I'll send them up as well."

"Oh leave the girls alone," you shake your head at the matriarch. "They're already hiding from you."

Alcina lets out an exasperated laugh. "Can you believe that, Cristofor? My own daughters are hiding from me!" Alcina exclaimed with a look of sheer amusement on her face.

"Nothing I'm looking forward to." You started unpacking the many boxes of diapers and arranging them neatly on the already emptied shelves while Cris made himself comfortable sitting on the floor, unpacking blankets and clothes. He unfolded and refolded them in a perfect square and placed them on top of the hope chest. You smiled at each plush blanket bearing a different pattern and color.

"Where can I put her clothes?"

"Um, just on the bed for now. I don't know if Alcina emptied out a drawer yet. It would be that middle one if you wanna check."

You hear almost all the joints in his legs crack as he stands and makes his way over to the dresser. He grips the knobs but pauses before opening them. "I'm not gonna find anything dirty in here, am I?"

"Not in there, no."

He turns back to you with an arched brow and hung jaw. You only laugh at him.

"Is it cleared out?"

He nods, neatly organizing the various onesies and pajama sets.

He busied himself displaying various lotions and powders on the coffee table, which would act as your changing station.

“What can I do?” Alcina asked, staring down anxiously at the various bottles.

Cris thought for a moment before taking two smaller boxes out of the playpen and pushing them towards the vampire. “These are for bath time." He quickly scanned over the contents to make sure he was correct. "This box is shampoos, soaps, and toys. Julianna loves bath time; the more toys and games the better." Alcina smiled. “And this box is her special duck towel, washcloth- also a duck pattern she loves ducks, two non-slip bath mats for both inside and outside the tub, and a sponge.”

She looked a tad overwhelmed again taking in all the items but took the boxes nonetheless. “Good thing I cleared out cupboard space, right darling?”

You wanted to laugh but restrained yourself to biting the inside of your cheek instead. “Yes, dear.”

"Well, that's everything. Oh, and don't worry about a crib. Lucia and I are bringing it when we drop Julianna off."

Alcina shook her head and simply waved him off. "Oh don't bother, Cristofor. We have one she's more than welcome to use."

You gave her a confused look. "Um, no we don't."

"Yes, we do. I just have to grab it out of storage. If you'd like to wait and see if it's up to your standards you're more than welcome to." It wasn't so much of an invitation as it was a plea.

Cris laughed. "Alcina, I told you anything you have is probably way better than ours. I'm sure it's fine."

"It would make me feel a lot better," Alcina said with a hint of desperation in her voice.

"Alright, whatever it takes to make you feel better about this."

Alcina sighed in relief and rushed down the hall.

"She really is worked up about this isn't she?"

You let yourself collapse back onto the bed. "You have no idea. She's been fretting over everything since I told her three whole days ago!"

"I kinda figured she would be the calm one between the two of you since, you know, she's got three kids already."

You feigned a look of hurt. "Ok first of all, ouch my pride! Secondly, all three of the girls were turned when they were adults. Which is why I wanna know where this supposed crib came from."

He turned back to you. "And you know what you're doing?"

"Of course not, but one of us has to be calm about it."

Cris laughed, letting himself lounge back on his elbows. Any further down and he was afraid he would fall asleep. "I guess that's true. You're gonna be great though, both of you. Just the fact that you're worrying about all this stuff tells me you're really dedicated to keeping Julianna safe and happy here."

"Thanks, man. I think I really needed to hear that. Got any advice to help us prepare?"

He slaps a hand on your thigh and gives it a friendly squeeze. "Have as much sex as you can before she's here. Because once she is, you'll be way too tired to even think about it."

You sit up and look at him incredulously, which earns him a hearty laugh. "I asked you for advice on how to keep your baby alive and you tell me to bone my wife?"

"All I'm saying is Lucia and I haven't been able to do it since before Julianna was born," Cris whispered in all seriousness.

Alcina returned carrying what you can only assume is the crib covered with a sheet. Bela stepped in first to hold the door open for her.

"Thank you, darling. I found my one good daughter to help me. Not the rascals this time!"

Cris laughs. "I see that."

The blonde nodded and joined you both on the bed. "Hello, y/n. Hello, Uncle Cris."

"Good to see you, Bela."

“Alright,” you hop off the bed. “Let’s see this crib that we apparently have just laying around.”

Alcina rolls her eyes and yanks the dusty sheet away, revealing the most beautiful baby crib you have ever seen. Polished solid dark oak frame with solid gold detailing wrapping around the bars like vines. The Dimitrescu House Crest is shining proudly on both sides.

A smug grin plastered itself on Alcina’s face knowing she single-handedly put an end to your snarky remarks.

“Holy shit,” you finally say. “And you had this in storage…just because?”

The question made her uncomfortable, you could tell. A shadow cast over Alcina’s face. “I had it made a while back and forgot about it until now. I’m glad it stayed in such pristine shape. Any polishes used on it were water-based and non-toxic. Perfect for a baby to slobber on,” she chuckles almost a bit uncomfortably.

Cris shook his head as he ran a hand across the smooth wooden framework. “I don’t know what to say, Alcina. It’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“Only the best for our favorite niece.”

Cris clapped his hands together and pulled out a few pieces of paper from his back pocket. "Now, onto Julianna's schedule. Lucia tried to be as helpful as possible when writing it down, but she said if you have any questions just ask her when we drop her Jules off."

Both of you nodded as he handed them to you. Bela situated herself on your bed with one of the plushies he brought over just because.

Daily Routine

7 am- wake up and bottle feed 8 ounces for about 20 minutes (doesn't have to be one the dot if she's still sleeping. It's a rare occurrence for her to sleep in, but it could happen

7:30- playtime on the floor or outside (we usually keep her inside this early in the morning but either is perfectly suitable)

8:00- breakfast (something solid-ish. Like oatmeal and fruit chunks)

8:30- more play

Between 9-9:30- bottle-feed 6 ounces for 15 minutes then naptime

11:00- wake up and play (she loves her building blocks and rattle)

Noon- lunch (baby food! Fruit or veggie) (she'll probably refuse solids but don't take no for an answer! Even just a few are ok if she's especially cranky)

12:30- play (peek-a-boo in the mirror! she gets a kick out of it every time.

1:30- bottle-feed 6 ounces and nap (Congrats! you're halfway there)

3:30- wake up and play (try using the hand puppets and engage her in nursery rhymes)

4:00- bottle feed four ounces for roughly 20 minutes

5:00- dinner (more baby food. Whichever one she didn’t have for lunch)! Same as the morning, she'll probably refuse)

5:30-play (maybe go for a walk if you haven't already?)

6:30- bath time! (see added note for specific bathtime notes. She loves hearing her little rubber ducky squeak)

7:00- bottle-feed 8 ounces then time for bed (good luck trying to sleep and getting her to sleep)

1:30 am- bottle feed again (she’ll wake you up when she’s hungry don’t worry)

Breastmilk can be refrigerated for five days and I’ve given you more than enough to hold her over. Protect it with your lives! Breast Milk is liquid gold!

You read the note over a couple of times before handing it to Alcina who looked just as overwhelmed as you. "That is so much."

"Not enough," Alcina says at the same time.

Cris laughs. "Wanna see what she wrote for bathtime?"

Alcina took the second not from him.

Bathtime Tips

Make sure the adhesive mats are set down before bath time begins. One in the tub one outside

Make sure you have everything you need nearby; towel, washcloth, toys (especially her duck), shampoos, lotion, clean clothes, and a diaper

It’s easiest (and less painful) to sit on a stool or something instead of standing and bending over

ALWAYS KEEP A HAND ON HER!

Take off any jewelry and be sure to wash your hands

Check the water temp with the inside of your wrist- it should be warm (not too hot or too cold)

Dry and dress her on the floor (hence the second mat)

Squirty toys! (The duck is her favorite as it also squeaks)

Plastic boats that she can push around

Whale-shaped basin for rinsing hair

Once she’s all dry she can go right in her crib

"Sweet Satan, Cristofor. This is a lot of information. I mean, the more the better but..."

You take her hand in yours and kiss the top of her knuckles. "It's alright, Love, we've got this. If anyone can manage this it's us."

She nods but doesn't really believe your words. You can see the doubt reflecting in her eyes. "You're right."

"It looks way more complicated than it is, ladies. You just put her in the tub, don't let her drown, clean her, and take her out. Boom, simple as that."

Alcina lets out a relieving chuckle and you thank him silently.

*******************************************************************************************

You lay awake that night unable to fall asleep. Alcina is awake too, but you don't dare speak to her. She's too lost in her own world to be bothered with your nonsense. But it was starting to eat you alive from the inside out. You looked over at it sitting across the room. Its existence is mocking you to the point where you can almost hear it laughing at you.

You finally break the silence. “Who’s even is it? You turned the girls when they were adults, right?”

“Yes.”

“All of them?”

You hear her sigh. “Yes of course all of them. Now please, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“But you had to have a reason, Al. No one just has a crib as intricate as that made out of the blue.”

“It doesn’t matter,” her tone grew sharper. “We have it now for Julianna and that’s what matters.”

“I guess so, but…” you turn your body to face her. Her silhouette is laying on her back staring up at the ceiling. “D-did you try having a baby with someone else and…”

She turns to look at you with wide golden eyes. Not angry, but certainly not expecting that line of questioning. You immediately regret opening your mouth.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-“ Alcina silences your ramblings with a searing kiss. One you happily return.

“It’s nothing like that, my love. My only children are ours. I had it made last year when Lucia first told us she was pregnant. I remember how excited you were for them. You did so much to help her get ready, for both of them, really.” Alcina smiled and reached blindly for your hand. “And every time they come up to visit your eyes just light up when you see Julianna. You’re so good with her, iubirea mea.”

A shadow of guilt passed over her face. “I overheard you talking to Lucia about wanting kids of your own.”

Your heart plummeted down to the pit of your stomach.

“You love our daughters with your entire heart, but it’s not the same as raising your own flesh and blood. Every time I saw you holding little Julianna or singing to her I pictured you with our baby. So, I got all excited and, albeit, ahead of myself and had the crib made.”

“For our baby,” you finished with a genuine smile.

Alcina nodded. “I wanted to wait for you to bring up the conversation before saying anything about it, and” her voice cracks. “You never did. I didn’t understand why at first. You would produce such a beautiful baby with or without me.” Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes threatening to cascade down her cheeks. “Then one night it just sort of hit me; why would you want to share something as precious and innocent as a baby with a monster like me?”

Tears flowed freely from her eyes and sobs racked her body, it broke your heart. Without thinking you throw yourself at Alcina and wrap her tightly in your arms. The vampire happily buries her face in the crook of your neck and cries her heart out. You thread your fingers through her hair to help soothe her.

“Oh, my love, I’m so sorry. Don’t you ever refer to yourself as a monster ever again, do you hear me? You are no monster, Alcina Dimitrescu. How can someone as loving, and soft, and generous like you be anything besides an angel?”

“Oh stop pretending, y/n. I’m a genetically mutated freak! The baby would take one look at me and start wailing,” Alcina let out a frustrated huff.

“Stop it, Alcina. Our baby would adore you just like Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela do. Julianna loves you to pieces! She gets so excited every time you walk in the room.”

Alcina sniffled. “She does that with everyone.”

“Because she likes us, Al.”

A beat of awkward silence passed between the two of you until you finally felt her breathing steady.

“You want to have a baby with me?”

You couldn’t contain your smile as she nodded ever so slightly into your neck. “Why didn’t you say anything before? We could have talked about it months ago. The only reason I never brought it up was that I assumed you didn’t want any more children running amuck in the castle. Imagine if they turned out to be just like Daniela.”

That got her to laugh a little. “I wouldn’t mind a baby running around; especially if they look like you.”

“Well I don’t know about that considering we would have to adopt.”

A mischievous smile crept on Alcina’s lips. “Who says we can’t have a baby ourselves?”

“Um, nature? We’re both women, Alcina. I don’t think I have to explain to you how that won’t work.”

Alcina chuckles into your neck. “We’d have quite the brood running around the castle if it did.”

“Then you want to find a donor?” She detached herself from you just enough to give you a look of disgust. “Of course not; no one is allowed to touch my y/n except me.” She flips you both over so you’re pinned underneath her. “There are ways we could have a baby, you know?”

A blush covered your cheeks down to your chest. “O-oh?”

“Mmhm. The old witch in the village could brew something up for us, should we choose to carry.” She laughs at your dumbfounded expression. “It would be a sex change tonic of sorts. Temporary of course, I believe it only lasts a week.”

You blush furiously.

“And depending on the portions of ingredients she uses we could change the erm, size, if you catch my drift.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to respond, in real words at least. Something between a yelp and a whimper came out of your mouth instead. It gets a laugh out of Alcina at least.

“That’s really a thing we could do?”

She starts trailing kisses down your neck to your chest. “Oh yes,” her free hand comes up to pull your shirt down over your breasts. As soon as they pooled out of their confinement Alcina started circling one of your nipples with her tongue. “Would you like that, darling? To feel my cock pounding into you.”

Fuck you loved it when she talks dirty to you. But that turned you on more than you were willing to admit. You gave a shy nod.

Alcina rewards your honesty by taking your hardened nipple in her mouth and sucking. Her other hand moved up your body to rest on your other breast, gently kneading it like dough.

Alcina has always been fascinated with your breasts. Always burying her face in them when cuddling. She simply melted into them on bad days. Giving her a scalp massage at the same time earned you bonus points.

Her lips abandon your nipple, leaving a bridge of saliva still connecting you, and snuggled her face deep in between your breasts. She let out a long sigh and closed her eyes, letting herself get lost in the moment. Her eyes flutter open and you can see the corners of a smile buried in your chest. “What do you think, my love?”

“I think we should see how we do this weekend before making any big decisions.”

Alcina leaned forward only enough to kiss your lips. “Sounds like a plan.”

#lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu #tall vampire lady #bela dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #resident evil village #resident evil 8

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cobaincreates · 3 years ago

Text

the fuck is a touron? pt. 2

warnings: language, mention of drugs & alcohol, smut (wrap it you're smart), very brief oral (male receiving), 18+

count: 9k+

part one is here! i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it! also remember when i said this has been sitting for a couple months?? welp, it’s been longer than that...oops. but it's all yours now!!! :)

taglist is always open. have a lovely weekend! photo cred

— — —

3 weeks earlier

a loud blare jolted you awake.

“what the fuck?”

you scrambled to stop the noise, your heart nearly jumping out of your chest. your head knocked into something hard as you twisted and tried to assemble your brain.

a clatter of what sounded like several bottles came from your right. the sound still rang out into the room—which was where exactly?

as you got to your hands and knees and shuffled against what felt like carpet, you remembered vaguely that you’d gone out last night. the carpet and dark room didn’t tell you much else. but the trilling alarm was enough to set you into a search to find that out.

“shut that off!” a voice yelled from behind you.

your hand knocked into more bottles and you grappled for one, feeling the familiar shape of a glass beer bottle. someone groaned in front of you then a blinding light pierced across your eyes. you sucked in a breath, dropping the bottle and covering your eyes.

what, were you a vampire? you peeked past your fingers to a parted curtain letting in a sliver of sunlight. you saw a little more of where you’d been, the light trail full of bottles and some sprawled legs and arms.

the alarm cut off suddenly. soft snores and labored breaths filled the silence now, along with a pounding in your ears so intense, you would’ve thought you were still hearing the alarm. a slow, gradual ache formed in the center of your forehead.

you blinked as your eyes adjusted to the light. a sparkling stiletto caught your attention, but it wasn’t on a foot. you looked around the room and spotted its twin near the back of a couch. crawling over, you found liza laying on her back with her hair messily splayed around her.

she was yawning while her phone lit up her face in a soft glow. when your eyes met, she whispered, “hey.”

you faintly remembered her setting an alarm on her phone somewhere in between jell-o shots and body shots. or was it after the jäger bombs?

you let out an oomf as you collapsed beside her on your stomach. your head didn’t let up the pounding. you made a noise, your words muffled against the stale-smelling carpet.

“what?” liza said, not having heard any coherent words.

you turned your head, the carpet scratching your cheek. “i said, nurse me back to health, please.”

“i told you not to do those lines,” she said, shaking her head.

“what?” you said a little too loudly, earning a few shh!s in return.

“i’m kidding,” liza laughed.

you grimaced, mostly at her but also at the hair in your mouth. you reached up to remove it and sat up while liza looked at her phone.

“what time is it?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder around the room.

no one else had moved from liza’s wake-up alarm. your vision was clearer now and you took in the trashed room. bottles lay everywhere, a few staining the carpet in dark puddles. a lamp was on the floor, its shade across the room over someone’s head. it was warm considering the blackout curtains keeping the morning sun out and you couldn’t imagine sleeping in here any longer.

your head pounded again as liza said, “noon.”

“can we go? i might throw up from how hot it is in here.” you pulled at your dress, wanting nothing more than to get under some cold water.

liza sat up and looked around, dropping her phone into her lap. “i need my other shoe.”

“it’s over here,” you said and crawled to retrieve it for her.

she put it on, her dress riding up her thighs before she stood and pulled it back down. you took her offered hand so she could help you up. your heels sank into the carpet and you looked down, finding a soggy spot where beer had seeped in. you frowned and grabbed ahold of liza’s arm to find your way out.

your small crossbody clutch was resting on the couch cushion and you reached for it over a girl’s sleeping form, careful not to wake her. she made a small noise and you snatched it quickly, feeling the weight of your phone inside.

liza ordered an uber to bring you back to campus. it was fifteen minutes away and you panicked for a brief moment from not knowing where the hell you were. last night was a whole blur apart from arriving and getting into the swing of things. you remember dancing and drinking and having fun with liza and a few other friends. it wasn’t usual for you to sleep at random people’s houses after parties, but last night must have been a little more eventful than others.

you let out a long breath you didn’t know you were holding as you sank into the back of the uber driver’s car. luckily, you didn’t get someone hopped up on coffee or blasting music. it was quiet and calm, enough so that you closed your eyes.

speaking of coffee, you could really use one. and food. and a shower. had you really slept on that nasty carpet last night? you shuddered and opened your eyes.

fishing out your phone from your clutch, you saw a few notifications from last night and the past few hours. you ignored them for now and unlocked your phone with the goal of texting one of your friends who worked at the diner in town and begging him to have your usual ready when you got there. it was all you could think about as your stomach rumbled.

but when you unlocked your phone, your eyebrows drew together. your screen opened to an internet tab, a little plane logo at the top corner.

“why the fuck did i buy a ticket to the outer banks?” you blurted to no one in particular. well, maybe to your friend beside you, who lived in the outer banks.

liza lolled her head toward you on the back of the seat, not at all looking as concerned as you felt. “you’re visiting, remember? i talked you into buying it last night.”

“why?” your head seemed to throb even worse.

you couldn’t go to the outer banks. you didn’t have the money for it and the ticket on your internet browser said you’d even bought a round trip one. god, why had you done that? you were saving up for the summer. you were saving up to see so much more than the outer banks. as much as you loved liza, and you knew she’d love to have you there, you would be wasting a weekend. how were you going to tell your boss that you needed off at such short notice?

liza shrugged beside you. “because my dad will be gone for a whole weekend and i’m throwing the biggest party ever and you love me and you promised to dance to ‘back that ass up’ with me there.”

“oh my god,” you groaned and dropped your phone into your lap. you rubbed your pulsing temples. “i can’t go, liza. i really need the money.”

“hence why you have a job—said job will pay that back in a week. you’re fine,” she waved her hand and turned back to the window.

“i need to work that weekend,” you argued. just thinking about asking for it off had your skin crawling.

“you can take time off. you never do.” liza shrugged, looking at you again. her face softened when she noticed how distraught you were over it. “look, if you really don’t want to, then just cancel it. it’s okay if you don’t come.”

your fingers came away from your head as you saw that she was being genuine. she may have joked around with you a lot, but she meant it when she said that.

friday

getting time off wasn’t easy. your boss acted like the ultimate villain in a boss level from a video game, having you go through all of these obstacles just to get three days off. you understood it, you were short-staffed anyways and it was hard, but you couldn’t help feeling as though they were a little harsh on you. it was always a fight to get time off, even when you showed up every day, on time, and did your work without complaint.

right after you talked to your boss, feeling the ultimate amount of shame over requesting three days, you searched high and low for someone to cover your shift. turns out, it wasn’t all that difficult to begin with since one of your co-workers—who just had a baby and was still a full-time student—told you they’d appreciate the extra hours. you felt instantly better afterward until your boss asked you to fill out three separate sheets for the time off. no, you couldn’t just write the three days on one sheet. it had to be three. separate. sheets.

it was completely ridiculous and uncalled for. you fumed for a while, pressing way too hard on your pen as you filled them out. once you set them on their desk, all filled out properly, you reminded yourself you could quit soon. just a few more months of the semester and you’d be gone.

the next day when you came in, your boss had allegedly lost those request papers. and funnily enough, they allowed you to put the weekend dates on one paper this time. you’d stared at them for a whole three minutes, paper in your hand and tongue between your teeth with angry words just dying to get out. you can quit soon. you can quit soon.

the weeks dragged by before the day finally arrived and you left for your flight. it was only when you got off the plane that the hours started to fly by. it was colder this time around, which you didn’t mind, even on the breezy ferry ride. you were looking forward to campfires and cozy sweaters.

you hopped off the ferry around noon and right into liza’s waiting arms at the dock. she was overjoyed about you visiting and you knew all the trouble with work was worth it just to get away for a little. you were young, there was no shame in a little time off, and liza was right—you’d already earned the money back for the ticket.

liza’s dad was bustling around their house when you arrived, packing like a crazy person on a time crunch. he threw a hello at you as he shuffled past with an armful of socks and possibly underwear, which had you lifting an eyebrow at liza. she shoved your arm and took your bag into the guest bedroom.

“where’s your dad running off to? can i go?” you teased, dropping your backpack onto the light green comforter. the white walls seemed brighter this time, but you accounted it for the new sheer curtains over the windows facing the back of the house.

“he’s going on a business trip. and no, you can’t. his girlfriend is going with him.” liza left your bag near the dresser and hopped on the bed, the comforter sighing under her weight.

“girlfriend? aw, man.” you frowned dramatically and lay on your stomach beside her. “do we like this girlfriend?”

“she’s very...” her left eye squinted as she thought. “eccentric. like, i don’t know how to take it. he seems happy though.”

“like, weird eccentric or crazy eccentric?”

“i don’t know. i haven’t breached the abortion topic with her yet. that could be very telling, don’t you think?” a playful smile hinted at her lips.

“totally telling,” you agreed.

minutes later, you were waving liza’s dad off as he pulled out of the driveway, liza standing a few steps in front of you. once he was gone and out of sight down the drive, liza turned back to you with a flourish and a cheshire grin spread on her face. you laughed as she pushed you into the house and began jumping excitedly. music started playing somewhere in between the jumping, which promptly turned to dancing in the kitchen. having a whole house to yourselves was always a thrilling thing.

it wasn’t long after that that liza told you to get ready for a party at the boneyard, as she called it. you had no idea whether to take that literally or just go along with it and be surprised. you went with the latter as you changed out of your airport clothes.

as you were heading that way, you thought about that one fling you had the last time you were here. what was his name? something rich, with a t. tom? trenton? no, no, something obscure. topper. god, you nearly forgot about him, but now that you were visiting again, you wondered if he was around. in the middle of the semester seemed like your luck would be out.

liza was slowing the car as you thought to text topper, just to see if he was here. you hadn’t talked since that summer—what was it? seven months ago? you hadn’t felt the need to keep in touch. didn’t he say to shoot him a text when you were in town again? you supposed there was no harm in doing so. what could be the worst thing to happen? maybe he wouldn’t be in town, but you wouldn’t be all that bummed about not having a hookup. you weren’t as ravenous as you were in the summer.

“are you getting out?”

your head turned and you found liza standing with the door open, her keys dangling from her hand. you hadn’t noticed that the car had parked or that you’d arrived at wherever the boneyard was. the beach was right in front of you, just over a small crest in the sand. you could smell it slipping into the car from where liza held the door propped open.

you opened your own door and hopped out, the gravel crunching under your shoes. you were glad you opted for a sweater with the early spring wind from the water as it blew over your shoulders and tangled into your hair.

a handful of people were already on the beach, stripped driftwood scattered around. most used them as seats while there was a fire already going and drinks in their hands. you couldn’t help but smile at the sight, a giddiness filling your chest. this was exactly what you needed and the perfect setting for it.

liza pulled you into a group with some familiar faces that you had met the last time around. small talk was immediately flowing and you couldn’t care less for it, but you welcomed it anyways. liza was quick to guide you to the next group and the next before you finally got comfortable with a drink in hand. you sipped it steadily and ditched your shoes with liza’s, sticking them under a piece of driftwood behind where you stood. one of liza’s friends was asking you about your degree, something along the lines of why you had chosen it. you couldn’t comprehend it fully as your eyes drifted around the sand where people stood in small groups and larger ones.

standing near an overturned lifeguard post that was sure to be rotting away was none other than topper. he was facing away from you, but you had no doubt in your mind that it was him. his hair was blonder than it was when you met, funnily enough in the colder months. he wore a sweatshirt (blue or dark green, you couldn’t tell) paired with shorts and (surprisingly) sneakers.

you turned back to liza’s friend, giving them a somewhat vague but good answer. you then excused yourself and split from the group to head in topper’s direction. you stopped just outside of his larger group and crossed your arms, holding on to your beer by the neck loosely. it took a minute or two for topper to notice you, obviously feeling a presence behind him and doing a double-take. you already had a smirk on your face.

“holy shit, hi.” he blinked rapidly, turning away from his friends.

“hi,” you laughed. both of you went in for a hug at the same time. topper pressed your waist firmly to his while you hugged him around his shoulders.

“it’s good to see you,” you said.

“yeah, you too.” there was surprise in his voice and features as if he never thought he would see you again. your hand slipped down his arm as you pulled away before you took a step back, your hands resting at your sides.

“how have—“

“hey! the touron’s back!” a voice over his shoulder shouted.

you looked in its direction, finding a menacing smirk on an all too familiar face. you couldn’t remember his name as he sipped arrogantly on a beer, perched on the rotting lifeguard’s post.

you found your own sweet smile and raised your free hand to flip him off, which only egged him on more as his laughter filtered out. you were instantly annoyed, although you didn’t show it as he had brought unwanted attention to you and topper. you were sure most of the people in this larger group had been on topper’s deck that day in the summer.

topper looked at a loss for words when you turned back to him, his eyes still on you. you were glad he wasn’t laughing at his friend’s comment.

“can i get you another drink?” he gestured to the bottle between your fingers and you glanced down, seeing that it was a sip away from empty.

you gave him a nod as you said, “sure.”

the sun was setting by the time you got a refill, the glass cold against your palm, and wandered off with topper toward the water. conversation flowed as you caught up, shrugging as you told him all you had been doing was working and studying. you were lucky if you got to go out and have fun once in a while. topper expressed the same, talking animatedly about college and visiting home for the weekend to see his friends.

you wondered what he was like at college, if he spent most of his quieter hours in the library reading articles or if he was the type of friend to take up guard in the kitchen at parties. it was easy to imagine him in those situations since you hardly knew him. his smirking friend certainly didn’t seem the type.

you flicked some wet sand into the water, imagining the waves bringing it back to settle at your feet. topper stood beside you, the wind tousling his locks. you had just mentioned how your mother had bought a new coffee machine and how your dad canceled it because there was no point in having two. your mother just figured it would be easier having two so no one had to wait on the single-cup brewing system. it made you laugh and roll your eyes when you heard about it over the phone. topper had been smiling the whole time as he listened, his head inclined like you were whispering.

a rush of heat had slithered down between your thighs when you caught his eyes a couple times. he was just watching you as you spoke and you couldn’t help but smile flirtatiously, wondering if he was thinking what you were thinking.

how you were imagining last summer and the feel of his hands on your skin. you wished you’d gotten to know more of him; if he had any scars or little beauty marks that you didn’t notice the first time. it was easy to imagine it, but you had the burning curiosity to see for yourself.

you needed to take a break, to get a gulp of air before you drowned in the thought and jumped his bones right here and now.

“i should go find liza,” you said abruptly even though no one had been speaking. “i’ll see you around?”

topper nodded without a word and you caught a glimpse of confusion on his face, but you walked away. you let out a deep breath as you felt the wet sand turn dry under your feet. the sky was an inky pink behind you, windshields on cars reflecting it back.

you wrapped an arm around liza when you found her and she smiled knowingly. you didn’t have to ask if she’d seen you with topper, it was quite obvious in such an open area.

topper took up his place with the group you took him away from, but this time he was facing your way. you closed your lips around your bottle, staring back at him as he did the same thing. a shiver went up your legs, goosebumps exposing to the crisp air around you. you had to look away before you walked over there and kissed the hell out of him. your heart was behaving rather poorly now.

but could you help it? every time he looked at you as the sky grew darker and the bonfire grew larger, every obscene image possible took shelter behind your eyes. your mouth dried out so many times that you eventually had to get another drink and another. topper wasn’t making it easy and you started digging holes with your feet just to stay put.

you wouldn’t go to him, you made that very clear to yourself. if topper wanted you, then he’d have to make the first move. stubborn as it was maybe, but you’d torture him if you had to like he was torturing you now with all of these looks under his lashes. christ.

“my god,” liza said into your ear as she stood on the driftwood behind you, arms around your neck. “you’d think topper was a starving man.”

“shut up,” you laughed and looked at a fallen log in the fire pit.

“i’m serious. you guys have been undressing each other for an hour and a half now. just go over there and make out with him.”

you smiled into your drink, keeping your eyes far away from topper, or else you might actually do just that.

“there’s hardly any pda going on as it is, we need entertainment,” liza sighed.

“there’s your entertainment,” you nodded your head toward a rowdy group of young high schoolers shouting at each other. three of them looked angry as all hell and there was a bit of shoving before one of the older college boys broke it apart.

“that was short-lived,” liza frowned as she hopped down from the driftwood.

“you want another drink?” you asked her as she finished off her last one.

“yes, please!” she beamed as you took her bottle and tossed them into a nearby trash bin. you headed for the stocked cooler and grabbed two beers. as you stood, topper was making his way over.

“you have any plans after this?” he asked without much preamble.

you smiled, pulling the tops off and taking a sip from your own, eyeing him as you did. that flicker of heat made its way back between your thighs, warming you all over. you couldn’t deny the suggestion in his question excited you and you were giving yourself a mental pat on the back for being patient.

“nope, i’m all yours.”

topper smiled slowly, his eyes flicking to your lips as you licked them. okay, maybe jumping his bones here and now wasn’t a terrible idea. but you needed to string this out, you wanted it to last—whatever it was.

“i don’t want to leave yet though. i’ll come find you?” it implied that you’d make him wait longer than you really would, but it was satisfying to see him practically drool at the thought of what was to come.

liza was giddy when you went back over, either for the beer or when you told her that you’d be going off with topper for a little. she smirked, knowing exactly what for, but she didn’t mind. she wasn’t leaving anytime soon, and not without you.

you didn’t make topper wait long. when you were ready, another beer in and a relieved bladder, you touched topper’s elbow as he talked with his friends closer to the cooler. the ice was partly melted, but there were still plenty of drinks left. the fire was feeding off sweltering heat, and with the cold wind, it was perfect.

“hey, you ready?” you asked when topper turned to you.

you weren’t sure exactly what topper had in mind when he had asked you if you were busy for the rest of the night, but not having a clue thrilled you a little.

“yeah,” he nodded and took the last sip from his beer. his slid his hand up, capturing yours before tugging you along toward the parked cars. hardly anyone was over there. you could faintly hear voices and sounds from inside a few cars, some windows cracked. your fingertips warmed as your heart beat, pushing blood to every corner.

topper’s jeep came in sight and you tried to remember the inside. was there enough room for both of you in the back seat? or maybe you’d share one of the front ones. it didn’t matter to you, as long as he put his lips to use.

your back met the side of the jeep as topper leaned his hands on the window, caging you in. you were quick to close the space between you, either the beer taking the reins or your lack of patience from the past few hours of being here and having a staring contest with him. your breaths mingled and your hands grabbed fistfuls of his sweatshirt to pull him closer. the familiar tingles spread between your thighs and you wasted no time in showing him how impatient you were.

“i don’t think either of us is fit enough to drive, topper,” you breathed when you had the chance.

there was no way you could drive with everything you drank. topper tasted like the beer too, but you weren’t sure if he was fit enough to drive either. you didn’t want to chance it, nor could you wait that long.

“what do you want to do?” he asked against the skin of your neck, his nose skimming up the side. he pressed a few kisses, getting closer to your jaw.

you tilted your head back against the door and sighed, closing your eyes momentarily then opening them to find a few stars winking at you. there were so many once you focused on them. topper interrupted your gaze, pulling you by the back of your head to his lips. he kissed you as if you were his last meal, his tongue licking into your mouth. you moaned, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his hair. you remembered him being this much of a good kisser.

“let’s find a spot on the beach,” you suggested, only getting a kiss on the corner of his mouth before he pulled away.

his eyes were blown wide, his hair ruffled. if you looked hard enough, his cheeks were sure to be flushed, both from alcohol and excitement.

“seriously?” he asked, his hand stilling on the back of your head.

you laughed and nodded, brushing a lock of his hair. “yeah, why not?”

a cold wind blew, tossing your hair into your eyes. topper caught it and pushed it back to its spot behind your ear.

“i think you’re the girl of my dreams,” he joked.

you grinned and slid your hands down his chest. “do you have a towel?”

topper had to pick his jaw up off the gravel before he finally moved away from you and opened his jeep. he ruffled around in the back then finally pulled out a blanket.

“very resourceful,” you commented as he closed the door.

“never know when you might need it,” he said as he threw it around you, shielding your bare legs from the wind. he turned again to the jeep and bent over the driver’s seat to get something. you saw it was a condom when he turned back and closed the door.

“also resourceful.”

he laughed then took your hand back in his. you headed back toward the beach but in the opposite direction of where the bonfire was. it was quieter the further you got, nothing but the waves coming into the shore. it was darker too; all the more private.

topper took the blanket from you and settled it down. you took a seat as he fixed a corner, swiping sand that had gotten on to it. once he sat beside you, he pulled you back against his lips.

you knelt up and scooted closer, placing your hands on his shoulders for leverage as you swung a leg over his waist. you sat in his lap and hummed as you felt him against your thigh. he squeezed you closer in response.

“i’ve never fucked someone on a beach before,” you admitted as you slipped your hands under his sweatshirt and the t-shirt beneath, pushing them up.

“i’ve never fucked anyone outside before.”

“what?” you pulled away to look down at him, your hands freezing on his chest. he was breathing deeply and you swore you felt the patter of his heart against your fingertips. “really?”

“yeah,” he shrugged and glanced over your shoulder toward the water. “just never had the chance to try.”

“what do you mean? you live on an island.” you let his clothes fall back down, stopping above his belly button. “i’ve been here twice and i’ve seen at least twenty ideal places that would be perfect for it.”

“i don’t know, i never asked anyone and no one asked me.” he shrugged again and you knew you were looking way too into this, but it seemed impossible that he hadn’t done this at least once before. you knew that if you lived here, you would’ve done it countless times.

your hands slid back up. “well, tonight’s your lucky night.”

you pulled topper back to your lips, tongues meeting. his hands rubbed along your back and you couldn’t help but arch into him as he slipped them beneath your sweater. his hands were so warm that it felt as if he set fire to your skin. you moaned and sunk your teeth into his lip briefly. a shiver wrecked your body just as topper’s hands came around to your front, sliding up to your breasts. you felt your nipples peek at the contact and topper made it even worse when his thumbs brushed over them.

“christ, it’s cold,” you mumbled as another shiver came and went.

“mhmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure that’s what it is.”

you laughed and wanted to swat at him. instead, you swallowed that little bit of nerves edging close to the surface and reached a hand to his lap. you watched as topper’s lips parted as your hand squeezed him over his shorts. the fabric was soft as topper grew harder. you relished in his expression, the way his eyebrows were drawn together, and how his jaw flinched when he closed his mouth.

topper’s hands fell away as you stood. he looked ready to pull you back down until he realized what you were doing and watched closely as you pulled your shorts and underwear down together. you kicked them aside and shivered as another wind blew.

sitting over topper again, you knelt up onto your knees to pull his shorts down. you couldn’t help swallowing at the sight of him. as dark as it was, you could still see him pretty well. your hand wrapped around him, solid and warm in your palm. topper groaned and leaned back on his hands.

“where’s the condom?” you asked as you stroked him, not at all in a rush with your hand around him.

topper registered your question and patted around the blanket for a moment before holding a square packet between his fingers. you took it from him and bit down on an edge, ripping it open with your free hand. you took the rubber between your fingers and spat the packaging somewhere. topper’s breathing became swallow all the while you stroked him. you stopped and rolled the condom onto him then leaned forward for a kiss.

topper reciprocated, his hands grabbing ahold of your hips until he pulled away to look up at you.

“what if you get sand in your vagina?” he asked, an innocent tone wrapping around his voice.

you couldn’t help the smile or the way your eyebrows furrowed all the while wanting to laugh. that’s what he’s thinking about?

“nothing that hasn’t happened before. it usually takes a couple of days to get rid of but i’ll be fine.”

the topic didn’t stop there. “does it hurt?”

“no, i’ll be fine,” a small laugh slipped out. “that’s why we have a blanket. and i’m on top. can we stop talking about sand getting in my vagina now? it’s kind of killing the mood.”

“sorry,” he shook his head, an embarrassed expression taking form.

you snorted, laughter bubbling up your throat. how did that question even come about in his head? you supposed it was nice of him to care about such a thing. you hoped your laughter didn’t make him feel more embarrassed.

his expression morphed into an amused one and he joined in, laughing at his odd question. you both shook with laughter for a few moments until you calmed down. topper squeezed his fingers on your hips, dragging his palms down your thighs. you brought your lips back to his and your hands to his chest. pushing him gently, you went with him as he lay down. you stayed against him for a couple more seconds before sitting up over him and finding him in your hand again.

topper groaned and gripped your thighs as you brought him into your heat. you couldn’t find your breath as you took him all the way in and sat over him, feeling completely and utterly filled. he was in your stomach, under your skin, everywhere.

“fuck, yes,” you panted, branding your palms on his stomach, pushing his sweatshirt and shirt up again. he was flushed from head to toe, something you were slowly building up to be.

you started off rocking back and forth slowly, feeling him pull and glide inside of you. when you dragged your clit against his skin, which was getting hotter and hotter with the friction, you couldn’t help the way your body tightened around him.

“y/n. oh, fuck—you gotta bounce for me,” topper choked out underneath you, moving his hands to your waist to grip tightly.

you nodded without words, not really finding any with your tongue tied. your hands pushed against his stomach as you lifted yourself up, letting almost all of him leave you empty. then you slammed down, moaning as loud as you could. you didn’t care. not one bit. you were still aware of the bonfire happening yards away, but you didn’t care if someone from the party was walking this way and heard you. let them hear how good topper felt inside you.

a quicker pace was set, sweat building in the creases of your knees and under your hands planted against topper. you loved this. all you could think about was how good it felt, how you fucked topper hard and fast—and how you were getting to fuck him again. it was so much better than the first time, even though you loved having him behind you then. this was just as good.

topper was sitting up again, your sweater rubbing against his and your body feeling way too hot. his hands gripped your ass tightly, helping you rock your hips over him. you were close, closer every time your clit brushed against him at this angle.

it became too much very quickly. you held on to him by his hair at the back of his head, gripping so tightly your knuckles were probably white, and reached your other hand down to touch yourself. your moans were growing higher and more frequent and topper was full-blown panting in your face. when you reached your end, a strangled sound came out of you. you stilled over topper, pulling more of his hair as you came over him.

not long after when you were moving again over him, your mouth on his neck and arms around his shoulders, his grip tightened on your ass as he came. you hummed and gave a few pecks just before he let go and fell onto his back. you followed, moving off of him and laying on your side.

“how long are you here?” topper asked minutes later, his breathing leveling out.

“i leave sunday morning,” you said, blinking tired eyes open as a wind blew over you.

“can i see you again?”

you smiled, your eyes shifting to topper beside you. “don’t you mean can you fuck me again?”

his lips spread wide and if his eyes were open, you had a feeling he’d be rolling them. laughing, you pushed yourself onto your elbow and touched his cheek.

“liza is having a party tomorrow. you should come,” you said quietly, leaning down to brush your lips over his.

“okay.”

“that was easy.”

“it doesn’t take much to convince me,” his voice was tired, piquing your interest.

“am i that good?”

all you got in return was a low laugh.

“i’m taking that as a ‘hell yes’ so thank you very much.”

topper let out a noise just before he moved, pushing you onto your back. his lips landed over yours, gentle and thorough.

saturday

it was a blur of drinks and games and dancing at liza’s house. every room was filled and it was hot for a few hours until you stationed yourself out on the deck with topper. you could lie and say that you didn’t sit out there just to make out with him, but that’s exactly what you did. it was perfect—even more perfect when his shitty friends didn’t show up with him. if you hadn’t been so distracted by his mouth, you would’ve thanked him then and there.

hours later, you had met topper at the front door. you informed liza of your new plans and she was more than happy to get you out of her hair, especially when her eyes latched on to someone and she started to drool into her drink. you grinned fiendishly at her and quickly went on your way.

topper was unlocking his front door and your legs were still a little tingly from the drinks you had over the past few hours. your hand absentmindedly ran along his forearm, needing to feel him so you could stay grounded and alert.

“if you don’t open this door, i’m going to fall asleep right on this porch.”

topper laughed, his keys jingling in his hand. it was a few more seconds of him trying without a light until he eventually found the keyhole and the door swung open. there was a rug that the bottom of the door brushed over and topper walked ahead of you, leading you in by the arm you refused to let go of. he was warm and solid. if you let go, you might evaporate.

your eyes adjusted with the lack of light in the entryway as topper closed the door behind you, sliding the lock into place. your skin felt like it was humming, the hairs on your arm standing up as you stayed close to topper. his shoes scuffed as he kicked them off, his keys dropping onto a table near the door while his other hand wrapped around your wrist. he lured you in by heat alone and you leaned in. your lips landed on his shirt, but you moved them until you found warm skin past the neckline.

reaching down, you found the strap of your sandals and worked to get them undone. why you wore sandals was completely lost on you as you struggled. topper grabbed ahold of you so you wouldn’t fall while your lips pressed a few more kisses into his neck. his hands were searing against your shirt and your skin pricked with the need to have them everywhere.

you kicked off your shoes, feeling your bare foot brush other pairs as topper grabbed ahold of your neck. you didn’t know where he was leading you until his lips landed against your cheek. he adjusted to where he meant to land and opened your lips with his own, coaxing your tongue with his. you moaned as if you were melting, your hands moving along his back as your body relaxed into his. another noise slipped from you, your hands moving down to his hips. one of them you let venture further until you felt him straining against his jeans.

topper gasped, his breath fanning over your mouth and down your neck. you grinned as you squeezed him just so you could see how he’d react.

it was cut short by light flooding the room and burning behind your eyelids. you flinched, parting from topper and squinting.

you were doing so well with no interruptions.

“topper? oh—i’m sorry,” a voice came from your left and you held your eyes open long enough to see a woman standing there, her hand falling from the light switch.

you suddenly remembered where you were holding topper and you dropped your hand, a hot blush crawling up onto your cheeks. you shuffled away from topper faster than he did at composing himself. was it wishful thinking to hope this woman didn’t see where your hand was placed a second ago?

“mom,” topper breathed, hiding his lack of breath well. your own heart was beating so loudly in your ears you figured the woman could hear it too in the entryway.

you averted your eyes, embarrassment dousing you from head to toe at the fact that you’d been caught by topper’s mother.

“we’ll be in my room,” topper said. his hand engulfed yours and you couldn’t remember how to use your feet or legs. “night.”

you kept your head down as topper tugged you past his mother, her robe flowing with the movement. he guided you through the unlit house until you came to his room.

“christ,” he sighed and dropped your hand to close the door. “i’m sorry about that.”

“it’s inevitable when you live with parents,” you shrugged and laughed, looking over your shoulder as topper rubbed his hands down his face. when he dropped them, he shook his head with an amused smile.

you turned back to his room and glanced around, the light a little brighter from the open windows. the decorations were the same, but for the most part it didn’t look all that lived in. you moved to his bed and sat at the end of it, running your hands along the comforter and remembering the last time you were here.

your eyes found topper’s like a magnet. your skin pricked with that awareness of him. reaching, you pulled your shirt off and let it fall beside you. topper watched, his eyes following every movement you made, his gaze moving over you like liquid.

you held your hand out towards him, coaxing him over where you sat. he approached until he was in front of you and even then, you pulled him closer with your hands on his hips again. your eyes fluttered shut as he came between your legs and touched your face, bending down to plant kisses on your forehead, cheeks, and nose. your thighs tightened around him, your hand dropping back to its original spot before you were interrupted. topper kissed you on the mouth then, his tongue hot and invading.

you pushed your palm into him a few times and rubbed until his breath was heavy in your mouth. even though you were kissing him and delighting in the ways he could use his tongue, your mouth felt dry for him. a moment later, your fingers glided up to the button of his jeans, working determinedly to unfasten them.

when his shirt was off and his jeans were unbuttoned, you nudged him backward, slipping from the bed and onto your knees. you pressed your lips along his stomach, feeling it tighten under your mouth as his hands brushed your hair back.

“tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” you said quietly, looking up at him as your fingers fisted the waistband of his jeans, slipping into his boxers too.

topper heaved a breath and nodded. you pressed another kiss just beside his belly button as you tugged on his bottoms, pulling them past his hips and leaving them to rest just above his knees.

you didn’t waste any more time. you took him into your mouth within the first few seconds of him smacking his stomach. he moaned with your lips around him and held your face as you licked him thoroughly. you couldn’t stop once you started and it took everything in you not to give him that release as his hand tightened on your face and his hips began to move.

he didn’t protest or get upset when you pulled away, licking your lips and standing. he just kissed you deeply and you wondered if he liked the taste of himself in your mouth. you certainly did.

all of your blood was gathered at your center. your skin was bubbling to a boil and topper helped you cool down, shedding the rest of the clothes between you. your hands wandered all over him as you sat back on the bed, pulling him with you.

you separated for only a second to kiss just under his ear, panting, “i want you inside me. now. i have an IUD.”

topper’s hands paused, his fingertips brushing the underside of your breast. “no condom?” he asked, pulling away further to meet your eyes.

you nodded, biting your lip to keep from putting him inside you now. “as long as you’re okay with it?”

“are you sure?” his eyebrows furrowed and you couldn’t tell if he was worried about you or if he really didn’t want to.

you nodded again as you were having trouble finding words without your breath. “have you been tested lately?”

“before i came home. i’m clean,” he said, his hands moving again and squeezing your thighs.

you grinned as your stomach rolled. you pulled him back to you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and smiling against his lips. “me too,” you managed to say and laughed as the excitement poured over.

topper’s skin suddenly felt too hot, but you couldn’t pull your hands away from him if you tried. more blood rushed in between your legs. topper kissed you a few times before pulling away and leaning forward, his hand moving to your lower back to hold you upright while his other landed on the comforter to hold himself up. you drew your legs up around him and tugged him closer, breathing heavily as you anticipated his next move.

he swallowed thickly and averted his eyes down, his hand leaving your skin to grab ahold of himself. you bit your lip as you watched, seeing him swollen and ready and practically dripping. your stomach rolled into a tight ball as his hips grew closer and you bit your lips shut as a noise of surprise left you, floating around the room, when topper dragged his head along your folds painstakingly slow.

as much as you wanted to close your eyes to completely let your senses take over, you lifted them to topper’s face. he closed his eyes as he poked his head at your entrance. when he started to slip inside slowly, his mouth opened and his hand went back to hold you. you held your breath as you felt him inch after inch, filling you and stretching you.

his head fell to your shoulder once he was completely inside, a muffled curse leaving his lips.

“oh my god,” you said at the same time as he said, “god, you feel amazing.”

his hips retracted slowly, just as slow as how he entered, and his lips guided back to yours.

“c-can you move back a little?” he asked. the angle was probably straining him unlike you.

you nodded and didn’t have to do all that much as his hand kept you close to him, keeping himself inside of you, as you moved further onto the bed. you laid on your back and moaned as topper started to move, pinning your hips below his.

“you need to be quiet,” he said.

“why?”

“because my mom is right down the hall.”

“so? she obviously knows what we’re doing.”

“still.”

“oh, topper,” you moaned a little louder, a smile curling the corners of your lips.

topper’s hand landed over your mouth. you laughed into his palm and opened up to bite on his finger.

“you should move that hand a little lower,” you suggested, rolling your hips into his.

topper laughed breathily and a moment later, moved his hand to your neck. his hips drew back then and he thrusted, harder than before.

“oh, fuck,” you panted, tightening your hold on him.

“you like that?” he asked, his fingers flexing on your throat.

“mhm,” you managed, your face screwing up. “just like that.”

you sucked in a gasp, your breath staying in your lungs as topper did it again. you couldn’t look at him, couldn’t do anything but feel everything he was doing to you from your throat to him between your thighs. your back arched, pushing your breasts into his chest. you cried out the next time he thrust, hitting you so deeply, your nipples peeked to hardened points. fuck.

“don’t stop,” you couldn’t stop gasping. “please, don’t stop. it feels so good.”

tears pricked your eyes as he did it again, picking up a rhythm and sticking to it. his hand let go of your throat and gathered your hands into his, pinning them above your head as he fucked into you. the harder he went, the more your nails dug into the backs of his hands. his fingers tightened over yours and you cried out with your hips smacking. he didn’t cover your mouth this time, suddenly not caring if his mom heard you. you didn’t care either, you wanted this to go on all night. hopefully it would.

tears spilled when he didn’t let up his grip or his pace. they fell more as he drove into you quicker. it hurt so good, you couldn’t breathe. you didn’t dare open your eyes to see if he was enjoying it too. you hoped he was, you hoped he was loving pinning your hands down, driving into you like an animal. you didn’t know topper had this in him.

his hand let go of one of yours but you left it where it was as his thumb flicked your clit. your breaths grew higher within seconds and you tightened around him, your free hand flying to his arm where your nails dug in deep. you couldn’t stop the cry bubbling in your chest even if you wanted to. it was going to come out whether you liked it or not and topper wasn’t doing anything to muffle it.

“fuck—i’m going to come,” he sighed, his voice strained. was he losing it too? “come for me, please, baby. come with me.”

“top—” your muscles spasmed and everything exploded. you cried out his name however many times as you came over him, feeling him do the same as he thrusted and emptied inside you. his spurts were heavy and warm as his face buried into your neck, his mouth slick one moment then his teeth latching on to you. you grabbed the back of his head and pulled at his hair as he bit you, not hard enough to break the skin, but it still hurt so good.

“oh my god,” you panted as topper lay limp on you. you could feel both of your orgasms dissipating as your juices mixed and dripped out of you.

having let go of your neck, topper licked over the pulsing spot and lifted his head up to look down at you.

“are you okay?” he asked, sweat collected along his hairline. his thumb brushed your drying tears away.

“that was—i—topper,” you shook your head, wishing you could find the words. “i feel very good right now.”

he laughed, shaking your body with his and making you moan as you felt him rub inside of you. “i’m glad,” he said, kissing the underside of your jaw. “i think we need water and snacks so i’m going to go get some.”

“mmm. that’s a good idea.” you couldn’t bring yourself to wipe his sweat away just to feel it on your fingertips. you were spent.

he smiled and pecked your numb lips before sliding out of you and getting up.

cleaned up and under the covers, topper laid out an array of snacks and water bottles. you sat propped up against his pillows while he lay on his side, his head propped against his hand.

“will you come back next summer?” he asked, popping a piece of fruit into his mouth.

you reached for the cereal bowl of chocolate and stopped the smile from stretching across your face. “maybe.”

“i was looking for an answer more along the lines of yes.”

“you’ll have to be more persuasive then,” you hummed and chewed.

“i can be persuasive.” he was grinning and you couldn’t help thinking that he never looked better. tired, hair messy, dressed in just boxers, completely sated.

“oh yeah?” you raised a brow at him.

“mhmm,” he nodded, putting the fruit down and moving onto his hands and knees to crawl towards you. he grabbed ahold of the comforter and pulled it back a little, revealing your chest to the cool air. his head lowered to press a single kiss to the swell of your breast. then he moved to the other. he pressed a final kiss to your shoulder.

“how’s that?”

you shrugged the shoulder he just kissed and kept the smile off your face. mostly.

topper grinned again and it reached his eyes. he looked over you, down your chest, then slid his hand under the blanket to your thigh. “am i getting closer?”

you gasped and grabbed onto the back of his neck as his fingers ran up the inside of your thigh. heat swirled between your legs. “definitely.”

⭐️taglist of beauties & babes⭐️

@tovvaa @taylathornton @dontjinx-it @moniamaybank @drewstarkeygf @clearbolts @jjmaybankzz @macey730 @twinklelilstarkey @disrecpectful @mrs-cameron @jjcanloveme @igotmajordaddyissues @ohhersheybars @malar-region @honeyyhemmings @dvakat

#topper thornton #outer banks #topper thornton x reader #topper thornton x fem!reader #topper thornton obx #topper thornton smut #topper thornton imagine

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lainyart · 2 years ago

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So things have been eventful in my break away from sharing art. I never meant to stay away so long but life usually has plans of its own and has kept me very occupied. You know I lost my dog Caboose suddenly. But I also took a road trip with my mom to see my grandma in Oklahoma. Then returned home with half my house quarantined because my sister had a covid scare while we were away. I lost another fur baby this week. Buttercup, our first baby guinea pig who was with us nearly 8 years. I marked the 5 year anniversary of my little brother’s loss. Today was his birthday. He would have been 29. And I adopted a puppy from a rescue who has brought new light and life into our home. The ups and downs all smashed into this summer have been a crazy whirlwind of emotions and while I’m feeling exhausted and a little run down, I’m still creating. I always will. Thank you for your kind support and for thinking of me while I was away! New art coming after Labor Day weekend – I hope you all have a very restful few days and I’m excited to share and bring some more bright, lovely things into the world. I know everyone can always use more of that!

#life update #behind the art

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thesmokingguns · 3 years ago

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A Dream Come True

Warnings: Slight language, mention of infertility issues

Song by Elton John

First part of my A-Z one shots I’ll be writing. I changed this idea about ten times and ended up writing pure fluff. I think the A-Z is going to have Motley Crue and GNR members and have eveyrthing from fluff to smut. I’m hoping to post one a week.

I can hear your heart

Pounding in my ear

Now I feel the sound

And the time is near

I feel the taste

Of all the things you do

Now the time has come

I know you're a dream come true

I thought it had been a joke when you had said you wanted to get me pregnant. To see me swollen with your baby. I figured it was something that you were saying to me when you were horny and wanted to ease me into letting you cum inside me.

But then I noticed how you would stare at me when I was playing with Vince’s kids. You’d watch me run around with them, kiss scapes, feed the baby a bottle, or when I would walk around with a kid on my hip hour eyes would flash with something I didn’t understand.

Want.

I never realized how much you wanted a family until you got the idea lodged into your head. You became obsessed with putting a baby in me.

It was the second week in your plan when I realized my birth control pills had gone missing. I tore the house apart and felt slightly crazy when it didn't turn up. It was an easy enough fix to call the doctor and get a new prescription but when I came in holding the brown pharmacy bag you were so angry.

That’s when I realized you were serious about putting a baby in me.

We had been together for seven years, Married for five of them. But I was still surprised you were willing to share me with kids. I had thought maybe when we were in our 40s there might be a couple dogs but never children.

I was overwhelmed and slept at my mothers house thag night to think about it.

Maybe it wasn’t about you wanting to share me but more about me wondering if I could share you anymore. There was already the band taking up so much time and when you weren’t with the band you seemed to still be doing something with music. I was needy and needed your attention too.

Could I really share you with little carbon copies of you?

Could there be anything cuter than mini little Nikki’s running around?

When I woke up the next morning to the revving of a motorcycle outside I knew we were both on the same page now. I held onto you as we made our way home and started the next chapter of our life.

You make me so complete

With the things you do

And the music's sweet

You make me feel brand new

I hear the sound

Songs start coming through

Somehow I know

That you're a dream come true

I was only 24 when we decided to have a baby, so I thought getting pregnant would be easy. And then I turned 25 and it still wasn’t happening.

I felt like I was disappointing you.

You never asked me for anything and now the one thing you wanted I couldn’t give you. I was getting myself into this deep darkness, stacking my worth into my reproduction.

The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong, which made it worse because no one could help.

And then one morning I woke up and felt different. It was like my body was going through a growth spurt. I ached in weird places. It was like someone punched my right in the boobs.

You were doing a couple shows in Canada but would be home that weekend so I didn’t want to call the hotel and complain about how shitty I felt.

I spent the whole day in bed watching shitty Soap Operas and drinking water and peanut butter, the only things that didn't make my stomach lurch.

When I woke up the next morning feeling nauseous and sore I called the doctor. All I needed was to get the flu and then get you sick. You were such a big baby when you had the slightest cold.

I sat in the cold doctors room, on the table. I needed to call you. I had missed your call last night because I had fallen asleep early. When I called the hotel this morning you were already out. My mind was too busy thinking of you when the doctor came in and told me what was wrong.

I was pregnant.

Six weeks. For six weeks I had been carrying your baby and I didn’t know.

The doctor said it would be a great weekend to tell you. It was going to be Father’s Day.

My heart was pumping as I went home. My hand on my stomach as I held my baby. Rubbing the flat area that would soon be a bump.

It was a Friday and you’d be flying in tomorrow afternoon. How was I supposed to keep this a secret? It was everything we wanted. But I knew that I wanted to make it special for you.

You had been so patient in this and now it was finally happening.

It takes my breath

When it sounds that way

Seems like you

Chase the clouds away

And I feel so good

Each and every day

And life is good

Each and every way

Sunday morning I woke up wrapped up in you. Our limbs entwined as you held me close. I didn’t want to get up but I knew I had to.

I got up and groaned. Watching the way you sat up concerned, asking if I was okay.

I told you I was still feeling a little sick. I had filled you in on all the information about how I was sick and not feeling well. I even told you about the doctor's visit. Which leads to now.

I left the room pretending to call the doctor. Even though I had paid a ton of money to get them to be open on Sunday for your surprise. When I came back to the bedroom you were on the edge of the bed, eyes looking at me with nervousness as I told you I needed to go to the doctor.

Of course you agreed to go with me. Holding my hand on the drive and even coming into the room with me.

The doctor said he wanted to do an ultrasound just to check on what was going on in my stomach.

And that’s when the loud booming of a heartbeat filled the room.

Your eyes went from my face to the screen where our little bean was making all that noise, just like their daddy.

Your hand squeezed mine as you realized what you were looking at. I swear your eyes teared up and my heart was beating a million miles a minute. Your free hand slid up onto my stomach as you held our baby.

Our baby, Nikki.

Now I feel the beat

Of the dancing drums

And now I know we're

Gonna have some fun

Now the time stands still

And the blues are through

And now I know

What I'm gonna do

Nine months.

It was nine months of you being practically glued to my side. Every ultrasound, all the pregnancy yoga, the million pictures you wanted to take of me, pulling me out of bed when I was so round I couldn’t even sit up alone.

Every step of the way, we were in it together.

Except now. You had to go to a show tonight before taking a couple months off. You wanted me to go but the idea of people seeing me look like a blimp wasn’t exactly my idea of a good night. Going to get a strawberry milkshake was exactly how I wanted to spend my night.

I was just pulling out of the drive through, sipping the ice cream and it happened.

The warm water slid down my thighs, over the leather seats of your Porsche. You were going to love getting the car cleaned after this.

Usually I would panic in these situations but I had been having the small fluttering contractions for weeks. Plus we had taken that birth class together where we learned about how long labor actually takes.

Did it feel great to start labor well driving your Porsche to the show to go get you? No. BUt my mind was so focused on getting to you I was sure that I could I’d make it.

Ten minutes to the venue, Three minutes to rock back and forth to propel myself out of the car, Five minutes to clean myself up and throw on your red leather jacket over the tight black dress I was wearing with my converses, Nine minutes to make it backstage.

My hand was on my back trying to count the time between the contractions which were feeling more intense than I expected. I could see the side stage that I would need to waddle over to but it might as well have been ten miles away.

The opening chords to Use it or Lose it started to play, making me smile. It was one of my favorite songs. Someone helped me over to the side of the stage and I watched Nikki spinning around.

You looked so happy as you slammed on your bass, running around the stage and leaning out to the fans. As much as I wanted to have someone run on stage and let you know your wife was in labor I wanted this moment.

This was your last show before you became a dad and I wanted you to have the moment without worrying about me.

I pushed out of the chair making my way to the payphone and calling the doctor's office to let them know that I was in labor and I’d be heading to the hospital in about a half hour. As I hung up another tight, sharp pain ripped through me. My hand gripped the edge of the phone.

Hang on, Baby Sixx. We’re going to meet you soon.

You bounced towards me, your big smile on your face until you realized the grimace I was giving you and the realization of what was going on hit you.

I don’t know how we made it to the hospital without flipping the car or getting a speeding ticket but you were helping me in the front door fifteen minutes after leaving the show.

It was 1:53AM when he was born. Jackson James Sixx. 8 lbs 1oz, 22 in long.

Holding your son for the first time was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. He was so little in your arms but the love between you was so big. The way you crawled into bed, wrapping yourself around us. It was the three of us together now.

And it was everything I wanted and more.

And I feel so good

Each and every way

And life is good

Each and every day

#Nikki Fucking Sixx #Nikki Sixx #Nikki Sixx headcanon #Nikki Sixx Imagine #Nikki Sixx Fanfic #Nikki Sixx writing #a-z writing

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theunstuffedpepper · 3 years ago

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Happy Labor Day weekend! Yesterday, I enjoyed the extra day off by spending it with my little goober. B has been working on a side project in his spare time (which is relatively non-existent, being a stay at home dad), so I took pep for the day so he could dedicate some time to it.

We went for a walk along the river in the morning, which was more crowded than I’d like, but it was a beautiful day. I can’t wait til it gets just a tad bit cooler out there. Come on, fall!

Then I picked him up some new pajamas because he’s the tallest boy ever and keeps outgrowing his footie PJs at an alarming pace. Last on the to-do list, I stopped to grab some books.. our baby book collection is very small still and I managed to score 9 new books for $25. That felt like a win!

Pep is so close to crawling, it’s crazy. He now has learned how to plank, which is hilarious and cracks me up nonstop. He’s wearing a little blue NASA shirt and I swear in those photos it looks like he’s getting ready for blast-off. 🚀

I gave myself the “day off” from tracking my food and honestly, by the end of the day, I was uncomfortable. I ate a whole Italian sub for lunch when half would have definitely been enough, and for dinner, I made a chicken and pasta dish with fresh tomatoes and had just a scoop or two too much. Ah, the experience of learning the same lesson over and over again.

The mission for today is a simple one: get a workout in, hydrate my ass off, and for the love of all that is holy, don’t overeat like crazy. It’s back to work for me today as well, which always helps me stay on track. Structure is my friend!

#no reblogs please #fitblr #momblr #weight loss #operationkay10 #09072021

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moss-lyman · 4 years ago

Text

another little drabble that nobody asked for. I saw the word “clingy” and this happened.

J/D set post-series.

“Josh, will you bring me those clothes that are folded on top of the dryer?” Donna calls from their bedroom as she continues packing her suitcase. She rolls up her socks and stuffs them neatly down the sides by her t-shirts. “Josh?” He finally walks into the bedroom empty handed and she frowns. “Where are the clothes?”

“I changed my mind,” he says. “I don’t think you should go.”

She rolls her eyes and goes to get the clothes herself. “Here we go.”

“It’s two weeks, Donna! It’s too long!”

“Josh, we’ve talked about this. One of us has to go and it can’t be you, so it has to be me.”

“Why can’t I send Sam?”

“Because he's overseeing the budget that votes in three weeks and will be living on the Hill until then,” she says patiently, stuffing trousers and some blouses into the suitcase.

“What about Lou?”

“Lou is going.”

“Exactly, so why do you have to? This trip is 85% PR. That’s Lou’s job.”

“Yes, for the President.” She goes into the bathroom for her travel bag and replenishes the makeup wipes and q-tips. “But Annabeth has to stay here and the First Lady needs a staff too.”

“Why can’t you just send some deputies?”

“Because the kids are going and this is their first big trip as a couple and Helen’s already freaking out. She asked me to come, Josh, and the President told me he’ll feel better if I’m there since you can’t be. I’m going.”

He groans loudly as he flops onto his back on the bed. “Why can’t I go again?”

Donna grins and zips her suitcase before setting it on the floor by the door and climbing onto the bed to prop her elbows on his chest. “Because you’re a powerful man,” she murmurs. “And DC needs you more than the European Union.”

“Don’t you need me, too?”

“Yes I do and it’s going to be a very long 14 days without you, but we have to do it.”

He grumbles and brings his hand to rest on her back. “Easy for you to say. You get to traipse around Europe and have a working vacation. I have to stay here and deal with whatever the hell’s going on in South America.”

Donna grins and kisses the corner of his mouth as he pouts. “Poor baby.”

“You mock, but I’m genuinely distraught over this. We’ve never been apart this long. How am I gonna cope?”

Donna brings her hand up to his cheek and traces his nose as his fingers squeeze her shoulder. She feels for him, she really does. If it were reversed, she’d be pulling out the big guns and practically begging him to stay. Her two weeks are going to go a lot faster than his.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” she says, her smile widening when he rolls his eyes. “I mean, imagine the welcome home sex we’re gonna have when I get back.” His eyebrows perk up at that. “Two weeks of stored up sexual frustration.” She walks her fingers up his chest. “And it’ll be Labor Day weekend. You’ll have a whole extra day to show me how much you missed me.”

He hums, but his sad demeanor doesn’t change. “You really have to go?” he asks quietly, dragging her all the way on top of him and holding her tight.

“You’re clingy,” she teases. “You know that?”

“Don’t care.”

Donna twists her arm under his to pull his shoulder so they're on their sides, Josh’s grip only tightening and making her grin, but she schools her features at his still-hopeful face. “I really have to go.”

He drops his head and sighs heavily as he snuggles into her neck. She runs her fingers through his hair as she tries to soothe him. “I’ll call you every day. It’ll only be a 5 or 6 hour difference, I can give you a wake up call.”

“And a goodnight call.”

She nods and kisses his temple. “And a goodnight call.”

“And a lunch time call.”

Donna laughs and hugs him tight. “If Lou could hear you right now…”

“I’m addicted, Donna,” he mumbles as he moves to kiss up her neck. “You’re taking away my supply. What am I gonna do for that long?”

“It’s only two weeks, honey,” she soothes. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Two weeks in Europe is not the same as two weeks in the White House. It’s like you’ll be gone for a year.”

“I know.”

She rubs her hand up and down his back as he lays against her. In about half of her past dalliances with men, she’d be the one to break things off because he got too needy, but she loves when Josh is like this. He’s usually pretty composed and they do their own thing, but he gets like this every once in a while when one of them has a work trip or he’s sick. It’s so different than when he’d whine at her before when she worked for him. It was only cute sometimes, but him hanging onto her like a koala like he is now isn't so bad.

“What time does the flight leave?”

“Wheels up at 0700.”

He rolls over on top of her and settles between her thighs. “So I have about 10 hours to convince you to stay.”

She grins and wraps her arms around his shoulders as he kisses her and she feels that warm glow spread throughout her stomach and chest. “I love you,” she murmurs. “And I’ll miss you like crazy, but don’t get your hopes up.”

“I’m gonna try anyway,” he says, his voice determined as he slips his fingers under her shirt.

She hums and slides her fingers into his hair before hitching a leg up on his waist. “Do your worst.”

#my fic #josh x donna #the west wing

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berrynarrybanana · 4 years ago

Text

take it out on me - honeybee extra

A/N: I don’t know if anyone has seen the video of those girls throwing water at Harry’s car but first of all fuck them and second that’s so not chill. I got a little upset but then I started thinking about going home with H and having him take it out on you. And then I started writing this piece which was supposed to be for BFHarry’s fic challenge and then it turned into husband and soon to be dad H with Beatrice and Harry! I am forewarning you that this is filthy and I hope you enjoy.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Cursing, Crying, Evil “fans”, pregnancy sex, mild choking king, dominant aspects, and cockwarming

Sometime in the fall of 2022

Friday, 6:00 PM, London

Being home in London felt good.

As a little girl, I always dreamed of living in the land of the Queen. I perfected my English accent by the time I was ten, whipping it out at parties and sometimes school plays. When I was 15, a freshman in high school, I auditioned for our school play that would take place in Kent, England. Our sister school would accept us in their homes for six months of the year while we rehearsed and learned together. I was crushed when I didn’t get the part and I was utterly terrified that I would never get the chance to see London or Brighton. But after meeting Harry, it was one of the first serious conversations we had. The third night of our relationship, we were cuddled up in his Malibu home, talking about forever. He mentioned going home to see his Mum after his first solo world tour and though I was upset that he would be so far, I was happy for him.

“I’m gonna tell her about you, you know?” He kissed over my wet cheeks as I sniffled. “Gonna tell my Mum about the girl I met in L.A and how she’s gonna be my wife someday.”

Three days.

That’s how long we had known each other when he said that.

And he wasn’t wrong about it.

I stepped out of my London car with my purse and to go coffee mug in hand. The car was far too expensive for my taste, but Harry insisted on having me drive the safest car on the market. Wanda, my very first Audi SUV, was big enough to fit myself, Harry, and the car seat he had installed for our future son. I dropped a free hand to my stomach, softly caressing my baby bump with a smile on my face. Ellis was kicking up a storm as he normally did around this time. I was done with work and the sun was setting which meant that a talk with Daddy would only be moments away.

“It’s alright little love,” I winced at a particularly hard kick. “Daddy's home, just give me a moment to get inside.”

I let out a heavy sigh, walking up the few steps to our newest home.

It still wasn’t quite ready yet, walls unpainted and furniture askew, but it was home.

I was still working in Milan with Vogue for at least three more weeks and Harry was on his European leg of the tour. I was in town for my doctor’s appointment scheduled for Saturday, and Harry was free of any shows or interview obligations for the weekend. In three weeks, I would officially be home in London and on maternity leave. I would be working from home, skyping with Anna and talking with the board about the new London office, but it would be nice to enjoy some time with Ellis and Harry without any work obligations getting in the way.

“Darling,” I called out, shutting the door behind me with a smile. “Are you home?”

“Just in the kitchen, honeybee!” Harry called out.

I dropped my purse on the table by the front door, dropping my keys inside so they wouldn’t get lost before tomorrow. Next, I slipped off my shoes and then peeled myself out of my jacket. It was by no means freezing in London, but the fall chill was starting to set in. I made my way towards our kitchen, my hands pressed into my bump as my nose picked out the scent of oregano and tomato. Harry’s back was towards me, his hands working on something on the countertop. He looked delectable, as always, his back covered by a black t-shirt and a pair of highwaisted trousers settled on his tiny little hips. With a happy hum, I moved around the kitchen island.

“Hiya squid.” I pressed my lips over his shoulder, pressing my hands to his hips.

“There’s my girl.” He peered over his shoulder, dropping the knife he had been using before reaching for a tea towel. “Gimme a kiss.”

He turned around as I puckered my lips out, kissing him a few times before his hands took over resting on my bump. For a split second, we had a moment to ourselves. But it was over the moment Ellis started kicking around again, angry that he wasn’t greeted by his Daddy before me.

“Ellis, little man, you’ve gotta stop that.” I frowned, glancing down at my belly. “Mummy and Daddy are trying to say hello.”

“Is someone being a little bugger today?” Harry hummed, crouching down until he was at eye level with my belly. “That’s not very nice, Ellie, is it?”

Our son calmed down seconds after hearing Harry’s voice.

“I think he needs you to fall asleep.” I whispered, brushing my fingers through Harry’s hair as he looked up at me. “He’s been kicking around all day so I know he’s tired.”

“S’alright little one.” Harry kissed over my belly a few times before standing up. “Why don’t you get changed into something more comfortable and then settle in on the couch. Dinner is nearly done and I’ll be right there.”

“Alright.” I smiled, humming happily when Harry pressed his lips to mine again. “I love you.”

“Love you too, honey.”

Saturday, 10:00 AM; London

Harry and I’s pregnancy wasn’t news to anyone.

Working for Vogue and being Harry Styles’ wife meant that a lot of eyes were on me constantly. Anna suggested biting the bullet and doing a spread for the magazine would be our best option. A few months ago, we agreed. There was a maternity shoot done in our L.A home with me barefoot and pregnant and Harry doting on me as he always did. We did a quick interview on paper, a quick photo shoot, and a small video tour of our home before Anna called it quits. The world went crazy when it all came out, the official announcement on my Instagram promoting the video. Since then, it had been quiet. There wasn’t a lot of fuss over me and Harry was still getting his usual amount of fans at the airport and other places when he traveled, but other than that we were fine.

Until today.

“Mr. Styles,” The receptionist at our OBGYN’s office in London looked nervous. “There’s quite a large crowd of people outside of our building.”

“Bloody hell.” He grumbled under his breath, letting out a heavy sigh. “I’ll have it taken care of. I’m very sorry about that, love.”

“S’alright.” She said quickly. “We’ve locked the doors so no one is permitted in and our other patience won’t be her until after lunch. It should be fine.”

“Thank you.” She nodded before retreating from our exam room. “I need to let Jeff know. We need someone to have the car pulled around when we leave.”

“You can go talk to them while we wait, Harry.” I said softly, reaching for his hand. “Or after, even, I don’t mind.”

“M’not really in the mood today.” He mumbled, reaching for his phone. “I want you in the car, untouched and safe more than anything.”

I didn’t argue with him, nodding along as Ellis moved around in my belly.

Harry spent most of the wait typing on his phone, no doubt talking with Jeff. I sat there anxiously, twiddling with my fingers while I waited for our doctor to come in. Another ultrasound would be happening today and we would be going over the final steps of my pregnancy and birth plan. When Dr. Hillcrest stepped inside, my heart rate increased. Harry put his phone away, reaching for my hand as she greeted us.

“So, how have you been feeling Mummy?” She asked, sitting down on her stool with her clipboard in hand. “Any braxton hicks?”

“Once or twice.” I nodded. “First time I thought I was in labor, scared the hell out of me.”

“It is quite scary when you’re not used to it.” She chuckled. “As we’re nearing the end of your third trimester, there are some things we need to go over. We’re doing tests for Glaucoma, Anemia, Hep B, and a few other things. We’ll be going over the final steps of your birth plan today as well. Have you toured any of the hospital’s in Milan?”

“Yes, I did a few last week.” I nodded. “I’ve decided on Mangiagalli.”

“Perfect.” She said. “I’ll get in contact with the head of the Maternity Ward today and I’ll make sure they have all of the information.”

“We’re really hoping he’s not born in Milan.” Harry chuckled softly. “It would be a bit odd to have him there while Beatrice is trying to close out the office.”

“Odd is a very nice way to say it.” I laughed. “But I’m glad we’re prepared.”

“Babies wait for no one.” Dr. Hillcrest let out a soft chuckle. “I hope you don’t deliver there either, I would love to be there with you when you deliver.”

It took another hour or two before we were finished in the office.

I was told that in about four weeks, I would need to stop flying.

That gave me plenty of time to get things finished up in Milan before making it home to London. Harry had plenty of questions for Dr. Hillcrest and I was thankful that he remembered all the ones I wanted to ask as well. When we were done with the testing and the ultrasound, Harry helped me slip back into my comfortable clothes before lacing his fingers with mine. The nervous smile he gave me meant there was still a crowd outside that we had to deal with. I squeezed his finger, reassuring him that no matter what happened, we would be fine.

“The car is up front.” He said softly. “We’re getting you in first and then me. No stopping, no talking, just get in the car.”

“Alright.” I said softly. “We’ll be fine.”

“I know.” He kissed me quickly before leading me outside.

The cheering increased, loud screams and Harry’s name being chanted nearly shocked me. I hadn’t seen a crowd this big outside of a building before. I glanced over at Harry, my heart rate picking up a little as he talked to a man dressed in all black. Harry glanced back at me, pulling me closer to his side before ushering me to the car. He opened the passenger side door for me, shielding my body from the crowd as my hands started to shake. He reached for my seat belt, his eyes full of worry and anxiety.

“I’m sorry, honey.” He cooed, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek. “S’gonna be alright. Just give me a minute, yeah?”

“I love you.” I said, reluctant to let his hand go.

“I know, honey.” His lips pressed into mine. “You’ve gotta let go so I can get in, okay?”

I nodded weakly, loosening my grip up.

Harry shut the door and I tried to avoid looking out the window, but there was a crowd of girls moving in closer and closer. I was afraid that they would get to the door before I did, but I couldn’t lock Harry out. I gasped when the drivers side door opened, snapping my head around to see Harry. He locked the doors before flipping the car in drive. Seconds after we started moving, I heard thudding against the side of the car door. My anxiety was washed away by anger, water splashing against the side of the car as they continued to throw their bottles at us.

“Fucking hell.” I snapped, my fingers balling up into fists. “That’s just ridiculous.”

Harry didn’t say a word, peeling out of the lot and onto the streets of London.

He was careful not to speed the entire way home, but I could tell that he wanted to.

At some point, his hand landed on my thigh, squeezing firmly as his jaw clenched. I watched the profile of his face, worried more about how he was taking it than myself. These were his fans that had pissed him off. They had come to close for comfort and they had crossed a line when they started throwing things at us. When we made it home, he slammed the car into the park before getting out. Gently, he helped me out of the car, his hand landing right on my bump as my feet hit the ground. The small action sparked something in me, a pool of wetness beginning to form between my thighs. When we made it in the house, Harry started to move away from me.

“Wait,” I said, holding his hand tightly. “Where are you going?”

“Gonna go blow off some steam.” He said. “I’m fucking livid.”

“I know.” I nodded. “Take it out on me.”

“What?” He said, his wild eyes growing wider as he let out a bitter laugh. “I’m not gonna do that, Beatrice.”

“I want you to take it out on me, Harry.” I stepped forward, reaching for his other hand. “Fuck me.”

“Beatrice, no.” He said. “What happens if I’m too rough? What happens if I lose-”

“As if I would let you do anything to harm me seriously, Harry.” I scoffed. “You’ll be fine and I promise to tell you if it’s too much. But please, fuck me.”

His chest was heaving as he looked down at me, his lips shiny from licking and biting over them nervously in the car. He let out a soft curse before lunging forward, his hands grabbing my face firmly. I whimpered in relief when he pressed his lips into mine, his tongue showing no mercy as it explored my mouth. It had been weeks since we made love and months since we’d had a proper fuck. Things were more tender for us in the bedroom, Harry’s fear of harming me or Ellis ever present at the front of his mind. When my bum collided with the couch, I knew I was going to get what I wanted from him. Harry pulled his lips from mine, tugging my shirt over my head quickly.

My leggings were next to go, my hands pressed into his shoulders as I clumsily stepped out of them. I didn’t bother with a bra or panties, knowing that our only stop would be the doctor's office today. When Harry’s head disappeared past my bump, I whined. Seconds later, I felt his teeth scraping over my thigh before lightly biting down. I welcomed the sting, a rush of warmth flooding over me as my pussy began to throb before him. Harry pulled back when I started to move my hips closer to his face, wanting to feel his tongue caressing my clit.

“Not now.” He growled out, standing up. “Upstairs, on the bed.”

“What?” I squeaked out, sure that I would get my proper fucking right here. “What’s wrong with the floor?”

“Now, Beatrice.” He gripped my chin with his thumb and forefinger, his voice stern. “On all fours.”

When I turned around reluctantly, pouting at the missed opportunity for floor sex, I felt a sharp smack on my ass. I cried out, glancing back at Harry as I pressed my hand over my bum. Harry smirked at me, crossing his arms as I waddled away with narrowed eyes. I had asked for it and I was definitely going to get what I wanted. I climbed up the stairs slowly, waddling towards our bedroom. When I made it to our bed, I did as I was told. My hands and knees pressed into the plush mattress, our duvet soft on the skin of my knees. Maybe this was better than the floor.

After a few moments, Harry was pushing into the room behind me. He wasted no time stripping himself down before kneeling on the bed behind me. I opened my mouth, prepared to make a smart comment about him being eager, but I was cut off before I could even speak. The head of his cock pushed into me first and then the rest followed. I gasped, dropping my head forward as his hips collided with mine. I clenched my eyes shut, welcoming the feeling of Harry’s length.

“Always squeeze me so good.” Harry moaned out behind me and I could imagine he’d dropped his head back in bliss. “Hold tight for me, yeah? Tell me if it’s too much, Beatrice. Promise me you will.”

“I promise,” I gasped out as he pulled away, his cock leaving my walls vacant and begging for more. It didn’t last long before was fucking into me again, harder this time as his fingers dug into the flesh of my hips. “Oh!”

Harry’s soft grunts and the force of his thrusts had me sitting on cloud nine. I was enjoying the pounding I was getting, his hips slapping against mine as he gave me everything he had. I was a babbling mess below him, begging for more, harder, faster, please! Harry met my every need, angling his hips perfectly so that he was hitting every spot within me that I needed to be satisfied. It didn’t take long for me to cum around him, my walls fluttering without warning as my arms started to grow weak. Harry was quick to mold his chest to my back, pulling me up until my head was dropped back on his shoulder. He had no problem fucking me just as hard as I came around his cock.

“V’got you honey,” He nipped at my ear. “I’ve got you. Gonna make you cum again for me, okay? Can you do one more for me?”

I nodded, but that wasn’t enough.

“Say it.” He grunted, sliding the hand that was holding my belly up to my throat. “Use your words.”

“Please, Harry.” I whimpered as his fingers rested over my throat. “Make me cum again.”

“Good girl.” His teeth raked over the skin of my shoulder before he bit down on me, a loud moan tearing from my throat. “There’s my girl, so fucking good for me all the time.”

“Yes, yes.” I cried out as he delivered a few thrusts that were harder than the others. “M’gonna cum, M’gonna-”

“Do it.” He said. “Cum on my cock honey. Give me a good one.”

A flash of white took over my senses as I tightened around his cock.

I wasn’t sure if I had moaned, my mouth dropped open as I reached out for Harry’s hand on my hips. My body jerked against his as he stilled inside of me, grunting loudly in my ear as his hips flexed forward. He pushed his cum inside of me, almost as if he was trying to put another baby in me. When I finally came back to my senses, Harry was slipping out of my walls and I was crying.

“No, no.” I sniffled, reaching back for his hips. “Stay.”

“Honey, I’m...I can’t.”

A soft sob ripped out of my throat and seconds later, Harry was guiding my body to the bed.

“What’s wrong, honey?” His hands were flying all over my body, pressing into my skin to make sure I was fine. He settled his palm on my belly, his eyes wide with fear. “What hurts?”

“I just wanted you to stay in me.” I sniffled, reaching up to wipe under my eyes. “I’m so empty now.”

“Oh, honey.” He collapsed on the bed next to me, kissing over my face. “It’s alright, it’s gonna be alright.”

I curled myself into his chest, digging my fingers into his sides as he covered our naked bodies with the throw at the end of our bed. He pressed gentle kisses over my forehead, brushing his hand up and down my back in soothing circles to try and calm me down. Rationally, I knew it was pregnancy hormones, but I still felt empty without his cock in me.

“Turn around fo’ me.” He whispered, patting my thigh. I did as he said, turning on my side as another sob pulled from my throat. “It’s alright, honey. Lift your leg up and put it on the pillow.”

He guided one under my leg, brushing his hand softly over my thigh as he moved his front closer to my back. Seconds later, I felt the head of his cock at my entrance.

“Hold on, sweet girl.” He whispered. “You ready?”

I nodded my head, reaching back to hold onto his hip as he slipped inside of me, harder than he had been earlier when we started our little escapade.

“So fucking tight, honey.” He whimpered into my ear. “S’that what you wanted?”

“Yes.” I gasped out wetly, nodding my head. “S’full.”

“Love you so much, Beatrice.” He whispered as I started to drift off. “Close your eyes for me honey, go to sleep.

“Love you, too.”

#honeybee #smut #harry styles smut #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles original fic #harry styles x ofc #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #my writing

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cyberdva · 4 years ago

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house of cards- j.jk

Summary: A vacation by the shore with a break from constant labor was all a young couple could dream of and when that time finally presented itself it was exactly what they pounced for. A tiny community on the edge of a coastline caught the attention of a young idol and his hidden lover, yet the all but homey atmosphere chipped away at an alarming rate past their arrival. Small happenings caught the eye of the sharp-witted woman, more and more occurrences kept shoving chilling encounters her way. Something was brewing and with the faith of next to no one it was in her hands to keep the life of her dearest at bay along with the force of a menacing spirit having ties to hundreds of myths, it might just be too late. Was it time for a final goodbye?

Warnings: Horror Themes, Sexual References and Romantic Scenarios, Violence, and Cursing (Perfect Just For Your Halloween)

Word Count: 4.7k

BTS Masterlist

Main Masterlist

“A house made of cards, and us, inside

Even though the end is visible

Even if it’s going to collapse soon.

A house made of cards, we’re like idiots

Even if it’s a vain dream, stay like this a little more…”

A frisk zephyr of overlooking, pristine Autumn air plunged a heavy set attack through the leaves of helpless trees. Tiny bumps formed by the hundreds along the skin of an unsuspecting idol. His mind was still set in the summer season, time was nothing but a concept to the young adult’s mind. Hours spent training and rehearsing can do that to a person. Life was hard enough trying to shield your personal life away from the public, Jungkook always thought of it like putting his memories in a small box, they never saw the light of day again. His inner frustrations boiled inside of him. He already missed out on so many important journeys in a common life. Even now at age twenty-three he still has to beg for a break, on his knees if he has to.

“I’m telling you. Nothing’s going to go wrong. Can you please trust me for once.” His voice laced with anticipation, a weekend away from everything, from all the hell pushing its way through the cracks of its gates, felt like a dream. Which was the problem, “like a dream.” Jungkook wanted more than anything to ditch his constant rehearsals and run away with his endearing better half. If it weren’t for the constant bickering of the elders in his group the plan would’ve been set in stone.

“Fine,” Jungkook sprung back in his girlfriend’s direction and threw his bulky arms over her shoulder, “Just this once, I don’t want Joonie to get mad at you.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Finally the day came, it was a risky trip, especially with the newest comeback just around the corner. Really, a miracle. In retrospect, it wasn’t the most organized plan, but the small house the couple rented was only a mere hour away. More like thirty minutes away since Jungkook was driving. Y/N would constantly poke fun with him for his reckless behavior behind the wheel, not like she was complaining. It took a good half hour just to reach the highway, the area was lined up with houses, one by one space filled the gaps and the scene trickled out.

Up and down, up and down, the two of them bobbed up and down continuously. You would think for such a mainstream road it would be in much better condition, A wave of uneasiness fell over Y/N, her eyes crinkled while still trying to keep her composure. Her mind shifted between thoughts of car sickness or a longing of home. Up, up, up they went, the evergreen landscape quickly morphed into blue waves. Jungkook gave a quick glance her way, then again. His brows furrowed, but his eyes stayed on the road.

“Baby? Are you doing okay? You’re not pregnant or anything, right?” Even with the joking manner his voice gave a shaky form. He cleared his throat, unsure how to continue.

"Nope, I'm ok." she hissed. This road was too crazy, the car too crazy, the whole scenario far from a nice day off. “And no I’m not pregnant yet. Relax a little bit. I just haven’t been feeling great these past few days.” She trailed off. Y/N knew it sounded silly, but as if just admitting it made it real and added a big weight on her chest.” A huff of air spilt from her mouth in a laugh. With hands gripping the edge of the window, things felt easier. Still, a small lump of anxiousness stayed embedded in the back of her mind. Something just felt wrong. There was nothing to pinpoint exactly what.

“You’re probably just hungry or car sick,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll get over it.”

“I hope so,” Y/N replied. The tiny bit of his smile twitched in the corner of his lips. “Maybe I just left something back at the house. No big deal, no big deal.” She attentively reassured herself.

"Are you sure?" Jungkook squeaked. "We can pull over. I don’t want you to be in any pain."

"Don't worry." Y/N muttered while she chewed on her nail, it was a bad habit. She couldn’t help doing it. Relief washed over her contemplation just imaging how her old friends tried to force her out of it. Soon sorrow after, it had been forever since they last talked. “Nonsense.” A voice reasoned back, Y/N dropped reminiscing on the past quickly. She looked out the window and her mouth grew dry. So much water, she thought. All those farms way back when and none in sight.

Small airplanes gilded with banners, advertisements for local businesses, or even insurance, it must be ironic if one of those crashes. The place looked menacing. The road became shorter and turns filled their place, looks like their next stop was to fill up the tank. Y/N could see the townsfolk, not all congregated. They speckled out every few yards or so. The vehicle stopped abruptly and Jungkook hopped out without a word. Once the cut door swung open the soft song dancing across the air went dark. Silent. The wooden and glass buildings still standing, the old-timers sitting at the gas pumps, the store shelves still full, the strangers walking. They're all strangers out here, but they've all lived here since more people have come and gone. Weathered, even at their age. She looked to her boyfriend, her eyes widening. What if that were him? What if they both died there? Or anywhere like this, it better not come to that. She meant no offense, but these people seemed off. It could just be the way they look, but even their movements felt robotic. They were already strangers here, not like they were really going to fit in. Having the small break made Y/N’s nerves settle, the car door slammed shut and back onto the freeway it was.

Blue blurs formed again and music, louder this time, picked back up. Manufactured cool air blew onto Y/N’s face, her fingers clasped the opening shut. The feeling could be described as far from pleasurable. The small knacks in the road kept coming, the build up was painful. A glitchy GPS voice crackled on and off.

“Dammit, I thought I fixed this.” Jungkook whacked his head against his seat. The poor man spent hours trying to mend the apparent virus filled app, Y/N grabbed the device and replaced it with hers. No bother in trying to mend it now. There was only around five minutes left until they arrived, elation flared through their veins.

“This is it.” Gravel crunched beneath the tires, leaving a path of marks down the long driveway. Trees cascaded down the trail, sunlight shined down past the windshield, lighting up the various screens underneath. The silhouette of the house loomed down beyond the small white garage which was accompanied by a lean basketball net attached by the top. It was homely, clearly meant for a larger family. It gave more space for random objects trying to fit that “beach theme.” Y/N swung her backpack over her right shoulder with a loud thud, Jungkook snagged his wallet from the cup holder and plopped a dark bucket hat over his head. Even with the odd setting, he couldn’t be noticed by an unsuspecting fan, it definitely wouldn’t end.

“Found the keys under the mat, you can head in.” The door was painted and off brand white, a chiseled glass pane was positioned in the center. It creaked open to reveal a balmy ambience, the kitchen laid straight ahead. A warm brown color pallet coincided with a lemon motley. A beam formed on Y/N’s face. This place lightened the foul spirit from before. The parlor was across the way, a giant TV cascaded over the wall with a slim couch behind. It was cute, except for the off setting décor. There comes a point when too many seashells overload a room. Next to that mess was a long corridor which probably led to the bedrooms, maybe even the bathroom and suddenly Y/N caught wind of a sound, like footsteps. Walking just right in front of her, right down that same hallway. Instinctively, she followed. Her hand shook with small pints of fear. More assorted paintings graced the wall, she didn’t bother stopping to poke fun. The creaking moved faster, so did she. The end of the pathway was nearing, the energy darted to the left, a children’s room. Y/N’s heart beat with fury, her mind was screaming at her to stop, far too late. A whisper swirled past her ears, it was at a nearly unintelligible decibel. The bed was perfectly made, a doorway led to the posh yard out back, and a mirror clung to the wall. No child would really want to stay here, too antiquated. Again, the murmurs returned, this time more of them and they were much louder.

“Bring her back. Bring her back.”

“What in the goddamn fu-” The glass door slammed itself shut, there was no wind, no person. Small cracks forced their way through the corners of the frame. Y/N’s eyes were stunned open, a hand covering her dropped jaw. There is no way she saw that, this has to be a joke.

A hand grabbed her shoulder, shivers ran up her arms with an ache. Her head zipped around with an instinct, her palm smashing into whatever was behind her. A mistake, Jungkook toppled down, grasping his eye. A single tear slipped down the red shot iris. His nose crinkled in distress.

“Baby!” She rushed over to him, “Are you okay? You scared the absolute shit out of me!” Her fingers pressed up against the sensitive skin which relived the man of a groan.

He brushed her off, “It’s okay, don’t worry.” He pulled her into a quick hug and placed a kiss on her forehead. She was trying best to ignore whatever the hell just happened. “Babe,” he groaned, “It’s so good to see you again.” His body slumped onto the spare bed. Children weren’t an “issue” yet, so the room lost its charming use. In all honesty, it didn’t look really safe to begin with. Open outlets, high ledges, who knows what could happen here. Jungkook grabbed Y/N out of her thoughts, literally, and plucked the air right out of her. Soft lips powdering small kisses across the woman’s face much to her delight. A pang of red heat rose to her cheeks. It was hard to notice, but a wave of satisfaction tore through the face of the maknae.

“You see me all the time Koo, what do you mean?’ The space radiated passion. This is all Jungkook could have ever asked for. Of course, the circumstances weren’t all the best, but still it was perfect to him. His hands roamed their way across her torso as the kiss deepened. A gasp exploded from Y/N’s mouth with her boyfriend’s lips grazing the crook of her neck.

“Koo.” Her words trembled with conflict, ”Jungkook.” His attention cracking back to actuality, hair dilated with static and all, a faint mark of his tenderness was left by a circular imprint. His smile beamed with devious pride, slowly growing bigger.

A hand intercepted his ardor. "There’s still stuff in the car. We have to bring it in, before the sunsets please.” A slick eyeroll was the only response mustered up.

“You’re no fun…” Jungkook slumped to the ground from the edge of the bed into a crumpled pile on the floor. His posture curved and a small pout was sent in Y/N’s direction, down to the small flick of his outer lip. Only she could barely escape his enticing puppy dog eyes. A continuous click sprouted from the disturbed blinds behind their heads, the pressure was obvious. Neither one of them made the first move, it had been so long, too long. They sensed something else though, again no one could put their finger on it.

Amusement was drawn from the other despite the odd mood, ”You’re such a child!” Y/N giggled, which got Jungkook going. He propped himself right back up with full energy bouncing off the yellow-chipped walls.

“We can do whatever you want after we get our bags, scouts honor.” Y/N delicately placed one hand on her chest, the other up on the air. Her boyfriend had absolutely no clue on what she was talking about, but still went along with the spiel best as he could. A dazed nod came from him and his slim finger grasped the ends of his hair, running them through the roots. He slid a small elastic over it all, forming a tiny bun in the back of his head. Jungkook knew it drew his girlfriend wild, that’s why he does these sorts of things. Out of the room he went, Y/N stood silently in her same place, trying to listen for something. Her mind on high alert kept driving her insane. Her only hope, maybe some Advil, was still locked in the car. Her head never moved its spot, furthering the booming discomfort she felt, staring at the large door. It wasn’t right, or it was just her imagination once more. Too soon to determine according to her. The jingling of the car keys signaled the end of her inner battle, louder and louder they went. A small crack emitted from her ankles while slipping her shoes on, accompanied by a groan. It’d been forever since the two of them went out, being locked away in your house while the days stripped away can do that to a person. Hell, it has happened! Jungkook’s hand graced her back ever so slightly, sending the woman into brief hysteria.

“Screw you!” Y/N jabbed at the chest of her boyfriend playfully.

Jungkook dogged her blows and stuck out his tongue, “Hey! You’re being the jumpy one today!”

Instead of going all the way round the lot, the couple opted for passing through the shady back door, much to Y/N distaste.

“It’s just a door, sweetheart.” Jungkook cooed. He found the situation comical, not knowing the full story of what happened. He grabbed the handle to the exit and it slid back with haste, they were quite careful as to not rupture it even more. The landlord didn’t seem like a pleasant person from their experiences. It felt like opening a greenhouse while stepping outdoors. Even with winter approaching, the atmosphere clung to their frames likes a spider entangled in pesticide. The grass beamed an unnatural green giving it some otherworldly look. Along with the various brightly colored lawn décor, it looked god awful.

There was a light mist floating above them, blending in with the ash sky. It was truly a freak of nature photo opt, the weather changed more promptly than usual.

“Maybe we should buy another house like this, huh?” The boyfriend wasn’t just yet done with his rampage of witty one liners, most of which making no sense.

“I never striked you as the suburban family type of man.” Y/N patted his back.

“Dear god no, my standards aren’t that low. Imagine the neighbors.” Now that’s the real horror show. The car was already unlocked, rapidly the trunk was swung open. Just two suitcases and a medium sized bag was left.

Parading back in didn’t take much time. Next door was the main bedroom, it was nearly identical to the other. Jungkook wheeled his belongings into a folding closet, grabbing the TV remote in the process. Finally, he could rest. Y/N did the same, afterwards she made her way towards the washroom, in hopes of placing a bag filled with various items for hygiene inside. The events that occurred minutes ago had already been mangled aside.

A mortified shriek came from the very same room Y/N had just stumbled into. Jungkook’s head snapped right up, quickly running down the narrow hallway pictured with corny beach puns and postcards he busted the door right open. The very bags his paramour had just lugged in clatter to the cheap wooden flooring in an instant. With one hand covering her mouth, the other shakily pointed to the wall across the way.

An assortment of hundred legged creatures made their way around the right side of the room, some on the floor, even on the ceiling. Stares of horror were the only response, at least thirty of the innocents were visible.

“Dear god,” Jungkook didn’t like bugs, even more than Y/N. His nerves sprung shot and slowly made his way out of the doorway. The inamorata looked for any spray or object to hurdle their way. The only option was to scavenge through whatever chemicals that could be found in the cabinets. Her shoes slid across the floor with an edge while trying to compose herself. Her boyfriend was scared shitless and the least she could do was calm his nerves. After grabbing handfuls of bottles back she went, but Jungkook was already in her place.

“Y/N.. you saw that right? You saw the bugs?” His voice trembled.

“What is happening… are we going insane?”

So much continued to happen, proceeding the weird visions Jungkook and Y/N sat outside, watching the stars form. A small dinner was prepared, outdoors of course, the weather refused to make amends and discomfort was high.

“You know, it’s getting pretty late,” Jungkook smoothed his hands around his lover’s waist. “We should go back inside and try to get some rest. We’re going to be okay.” He got up and extended his arm out as an offer to cling to. No exchange of words provided. Tiredness washed over the two, there was no point in arguing. Walking back into the shady house found only hours ago could be considered the worst choice made, but carelessness was the new fad. Both doors were locked upon entry. The house was warmer than before, Y/N stripped into a cooler outfit, Jungkook removed his lighter shirt and as soon as they hit the bed they were out like a light.

Y/N shot straight up in the air, breathing heavily. Her head whipped around to the clock, 2:24 am. Her other half was still passed out, but he wasn’t the only other person watching them. A large, black figure stood right outside the same glass door. It looked inhuman, what seemed to be seven feet tall, a bony structure giving it the posture of a lazy school boy and it was looking right at her.

Violently shaking the man she whispered, “Someone’s outside Jungkook. Please tell me we aren’t going to die.” He awoke at an instant trying to grasp what was going on around him. Anxiety mixed with shock filled his mind. He held her back down to his chest seeking to go unnoticed.

“We aren’t going to die. I love you so much princess, please trust me.” Empty promises, he didn’t know what was going to happen. Hope was the only option he had. Hope was the only thing that could save him. He was going to stay up as long as he could until his body gave in. They ran past the doors, the creature created haunting moans while pushing at the crystalware. He showed Y/N into the small supply closet. Sobs racked out of Y/N body, Jungkook’s tears plopped past the roots of her hair. He kept gripping harder onto her, trying to get as close as possible to her core.

“Honey, we have to stay very quiet so nobody gets to us. Okay?” He whispered.

“I know. We don’t want to get in trouble. I’ll go first.” Y/N said, quietly breathing heavily.

“Okay, you know I’ll never let anyone hurt you.” His angelic voice replied, “I’ll go get a knife. Stay right here.” Objections spewed from her mouth, but he didn’t listen.

The distinct sound of glass shattering filled the vicinity. Then silence. The walls felt like they were closing in on them, the girl knew this might be it. She couldn’t even say goodbye since her boyfriend clamped her mouth shut with his vast palm. It was for the best, surely her head would’ve been on a platter from her cries being found.

“JK?” Y/N called out for him with a longing for his response, “Jungkook? Please come out, I think we’re okay!” So much desperation in her sore croaks. He had to be out there she knew he was.

Her hand flew up in defense as she took a deep blow to her stomach, toppling over the metal coffee table. The ringing became worse, old coffee from yesterday morning mixed with the liquid flowing from fresh, small cuts. Her arms flew up in retaliation, but Y/N’s instincts weren’t as sharp as the knife on the kitchen counter once held by the goner searching for protection.

There wasn’t any screaming, no struggle or pain. All she could hear was the soft singing of him, they were forever young. He was gone. His smell engulfed her senses, memories, all gone. Y/N would see him soon

“A house made of cards, and us, inside

Even though the end is visible

Even if it’s going to collapse soon

A house made of cards, we’re like idiots

Even if it’s a vain dream, stay like this a little more…”

They sang, they mocked. Her mind was numb with the figure of god-knows-who hovered over her limp physique. Little to her knowledge, Jungkook’s phone laid in the grasp of their left hand with the tantalizing feeling to take a photo to capture this moment. All for nothing.

It was over, they should’ve just stayed home.

Moral of the story: always listen to RM.

cyberdva. 2020

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forgadgetsandgizmos · 4 years ago

Text

Boys Like You

Written for Day 1 of Malex Week 2020 | Prompt: Meet Ugly | In all honesty, this is probably closer to meet awkward than meet ugly, but. . . close enough.

Summary: Alex has coffee with Maria's one-night stand, a man who he definitely does not have a crush on.

Read on AO3

Alex shook coffee drops off the small spoon on the edge of the cup he just finished stirring and took a gingerly sip, wincing as the hot liquid rushed over his tongue. He’d barely had time to swallow before a thud followed by a hushed curse made its way from the hallway leading to Maria’s room.

A man, half-dressed and frazzled, hopped on one leg into the kitchen, his other leg being shoved into a pair of pants gripped tight in his hands. The man finally succeeded and immediately turned his gaze to the floor, apparently too focused on his search to notice Alex’s presence in the room. Judging by the man’s bare feet and empty pockets, Alex would guess he’s looking for his shoes, perhaps a wallet or keys. Neither things Alex had noticed laying around since waking up, but it was just after 5:30 in the morning. It was possible he’d missed them.

Alex took another small sip of his coffee, content with watching the man fumble about the house. As he bent over to search the floor, his still-unfastened pants dipped to reveal a slim, muscular back and black briefs. He wore a white t-shirt, frayed and stretched around the collar from wear. The shirt’s tight fit around the man’s shoulders and arms revealed modest but impressive muscles, especially when he flexed them to lift up the living room coffee table. Curly, dirty blond hair (the mere description ‘curly’ felt like an injustice) twisted in every direction off his head, a sharp contrast with the scruff darkening his strong jawline and scowl-ridden face.

Alex made a mental note to compliment Maria on her excellent taste in men.

A few seconds of fruitless searching later, Alex took pity on the man. “What are you searching for,” he asked loudly.

The man — Curls, Alex decided to call him, in absence of a better name — tensed at his voice, twirling around. His eyes landed on Alex and narrowed. “Who are you?”

Alex arched an eyebrow at his defensive tone. “Maria’s roommate.”

“What are you doing up so early?”

“This is my house,” Alex answered, waving his hand around the room as if to display the evidence. “I should be asking that of you.”

Curls tilted his head as if to begrudgingly acknowledge the truth of his statement.

“What are you looking for?” Alex repeated when it seemed like Curls wasn’t going to say anything else.

He shoved his hands into his jean pockets with a short, high-pitched chuckle. “My, uh, shoes and wallet.”

Alex allowed himself a moment of satisfaction for guessing the missing items correctly before responding. “I haven’t seen them in here” —the kitchen, he means— “and you seem to have checked the living room pretty thoroughly. Try the hall by the front door.”

Curls complied, ducking out of sight for a few seconds before returning with shoes in hand and a square-shaped bulge in his back pocket. He nodded his thanks, plopped down onto the nearest couch seat, and slid the shows on. He paused and looked to Alex before asking: “Got any coffee?”

Alex couldn’t say no to that head of hair and hopeful expression. He motioned to the coffee maker behind him which held the leftover coffee from the pot he was currently drinking. “Coffee mugs are in the cabinet above it.”

Curls rubbed his hands together eagerly and made his way towards him, briefly brushing his arm against Alex’s on his way past. He grabbed a cup from the cabinet as directed and poured the rest of the coffee from the pot into it. It was enough for just under a full cup.

“Don’t have cream, but the sugars still out,” Alex offered apologetically. He felt strangely responsible for feeding the rough looking man, despite usually avoiding Maria’s occasional one-night stands.

“This is great,” Curls assured him. He grabbed the clay sugar holder and lumped the sugar straight into his cup, not bothering with the spoon on the counter.

Alex’s eyes widened at the minimum of half-a-cup of sugar disappeared into the dark liquid. Alex liked a spoonful or two here or there, but part of what he enjoyed about coffee was the bitter flavor. It did wonders for waking him up. Curls apparently felt the opposite.

He wrapped his hands around the mug and took a big sip, unfazed by the high temperature. Alex followed suite with his own and they stood in comfortable silence for several minutes.

Suddenly, Curls sucked in a breath. “Shit, I’m running late.” He downed his drink and reached past Alex to rinse it out with soap and water before placing it in back in the cabinet where he got it.

“Oh, thanks,” Alex said, appreciative of the action. “Where do you have to be?”

“Old man Sanders’ Junkyard. I’m a mechanic. He likes early mornin’s.”

Alex nodded and leaned against the counter. He watched Curls pull a set of keys (hell yeah, he was right about that too) from the same pocket as the wallet and head towards the door.

Before he turned the corner into the hall, he spun on his heel to face Alex and grinned, tipping his head towards him in a mockery of the ‘hats off’ gesture, though without the hat. “Thanks for the coffee, Private,” he drawled, relaxed and swaggering. Without missing a beat, he finished his spin and turned the corner.

Alex didn’t move until he heard the slam of the front door shutting behind him.

(It didn’t occur to him until almost ten minutes later when he was putting on his fatigues that Curls had called him private when he hadn’t even told the man his name, much less that he was in the Air Force. It wouldn’t be until after dinner that night when he was doing the dishes that he’d wash the Air Force issue mug he’d brought home from base and realize it was the mug he’d been using when he and Curls had shared coffee.)

—

He didn’t see Curls again for a month. He’d forgotten about him, really, until the man stumbled into his kitchen on a Saturday morning the same way he did last time. He’d replaced the white shirt with a similarly worn grey one, and his jeans had darkened to match. His namesake, his golden mane matted on one side from sleep, hadn’t changed at all.

There was no pandering this time, no awkward questioning. The man merely looked up, smirked, and said, “You again!”

“Me again,” Alex agreed. “What are you doing up so early this time? It’s a Saturday.”

“The work doesn’t stop. If anything, we get busier. People got plenty of time to bring cars by when they don’t need ’em for work. What about you, Private?” Curls asked, tilting his chin up towards Alex’s outfit of sweats and coffee mug in hand.

“I like to keep a schedule, even on the weekends. Otherwise, I’ll never get up during the week.”

Curls made a noise of understanding and took a hesitant step forward. “Got any coffee this time?”

Alex smiled and nodded. “Same as last time. You remember?”

“Of course.” Curls face scrunched up, the meaning behind it clear, at least to Alex. Obviously, he was saying.

Alex reminded himself he couldn’t find it adorable, not when it was on the face of a man who seemed to be somewhat of a favorite of Maria’s. He watched him pour the same, overly large amount of sugar into his coffee as before and swirl it around.

“Spoons are in the drawer beside you, if you need one,” Alex offered.

Curls took a sip before making a face. “Yeah, I probably do,” he said, smacking his lips. He slid the drawer open and grabbed a long spoon from the back holder to stir the sugar. With the spoon still in the cup, he took another testing sip. “Much better,” he announced.

“Good.” Not sure what else to say, Alex fell silent and turned his attention to his drink.

“Sorry to steal your coffee and run, but I woke up late on purpose, so I gotta go,” Curls said, almost apologetically.

“I get it,” Alex chuckled. “Not everyone’s a morning person.”

“I’m definitely not.” Curls finished chugging what was left of his coffee and cleaned out his cup, putting it back up like last time.

“You know where your stuff is this time?” Alex asked.

Curls laughed at that, bright and loud. “I do, yes. Little less drinking involved this time around.”

Damn. That meant this, Curls and Maria, was probably going to become a thing. Alex watched him leave and felt a sort of familiar resignation settle in.

—

Alex decided he was crazy. Or hallucinating, maybe. What other reason was there to feel this kinship with a man he spoke to for a half hour twice a month, three if he’s lucky? And yet he did.

He tried not to feel guilty over Maria sleeping in her room during their talks.

—

They were three months into their morning coffee talks when Alex finally figured out Curls’ real name.

The jeep needed an oil change. He could do it himself, he knew how, but his leg made a lot of simple, physical labor overly complicated. It didn’t hurt that the best mechanic in town also happened to be a certain, curly-haired man who worked early mornings at Sanders’ Junkyard.

When he arrived, he stepped out of his jeep to find a familiar pair of boots sticking out from underneath a car parked walking distance from a visibly lived-in Airstream.

“Michael Guerin, the mechanic?” Alex asked, taking a hesitate step forward.

“That’s me,” the voice called. “Give me a second, I’ll be right with you.”

Alex clicked his tongue in response and shoved his hands in his pocket, letting his feet drag through the dirt and sand under him. He didn’t have to wait long before wheels screeched, and the man slid out from under the car.

He stood quickly, wiping grease off his hands with a dirty towel he grabbed off the hood of the car he’d been working on, asking: “What can I help you with?” as he turned to Alex. When his eyes landed on Alex he froze, eyes comically large. “You?”

“Me,” Alex said. “I need an oil change. A friend told me you were the best mechanic in town.”

“A friend, huh?” Michael asked, stepping closer.

Alex nodded. “You and Maria broke it off.”

Michael tilted his head. “Was that supposed to be a question?”

“I guess not.”

“You don’t seem like the kind of guy to need help with an oil change,” Michael stated, looking him up and down.

Alex smirked. “Was that supposed to be a question?” he returned.

“Okay, I deserved that,” Michael chuckled.

Alex’s mouth dropped a little at the sight, suddenly breathless at the sight of the sun’s kiss reflecting off Michael’s immaculate working-cowboy look with his torn jeans and stained black hands.

“You drove all the way out here for an oil change?”

Moment of truth, Alex supposed. “I drove all the way out here for you to give me an oil change.”

A beat, and then, “You know Maria and I are done. She tell you why?”

Alex shook his head slowly.

“We weren’t serious, at most friends with the occasional benefit when we were bored or lonely,” Michael explained.

Alex hunched over and took a half-step back. What was the point in telling him this? Alex had been there; he didn’t need a recap.

“We broke it off whenever one of us found someone we were interested in, no harm done,” he continued, either not noticing or not acknowledging Alex’s reaction. “I broke it off this time,” he said with an air of finality. He met Alex’s eyes expectantly.

Alex didn’t need him to continue to fill in the blanks. He broke it off because he found someone better than either of them. “Congrats?” Alex offered weakly, regretting letting Maria talk him into driving out here.

Michael huffed and rolled his eyes dramatically.

“You, goof.” Michael shook his head, an incredulous expression on his face.

Alex blinked. Him?

Oh.

Alex didn’t even try to stop the grin spreading over his face. He took two large steps forward and kissed him exactly what he’d been wanting to do for months. Michael’s lips melted under his, soft and pliant. He deepened the kiss, letting his hands tangle in Michael’s hair, but was interrupted by a whisper of a laugh against his lips.

He pulled back just enough to rest their foreheads together and opened his eyes, meeting Michael’s shining back at him. “You’re laughing at me,” he mumbled, not moving. His fell back to Michael’s lips, stretching in a small smile.

“Shut up and kiss me, Private.”

And of course, Alex obliged.

#malexweek20 #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex #fic #alex manes #michael guerin #my writing #alicewrites

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