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ae-azile · 3 months ago

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Lost & Found: Chapter 2 Preview

He welcomes Big into his bed again that night. The thought of being alone is off-putting, and Big seems okay with staying. In fact, he seems as relieved as Chan feels to have company.

“Did Khun Korn give you today off too?” Big asks as he slips under the covers next to him, “I didn't see you around.”

Chan gives Big a sort-of motion with his hand before turning onto his side to face Big, “I met him for lunch. Played chess and discussed a book he decided we both needed to read a couple of weeks ago. He's worse than Tankhun when it comes to needing a guard around to entertain him.”

Big snorts, “I doubt it.”

“It's true,” Chan says, “He's incredibly needy and annoying.”

And then, he remembers that he is talking to a guard under his supervision.

“I mean…” Chan says, correcting himself while Big fails to hold back an amused grin, “He's…an intellectual who wants his guards to take part in his hobbies.”

“Like father, like son.”

“Pretty much,” Chan says, but he remembers not minding so much with Tankhun. Granted, Tankhun was eleven when Chan started, he wasn't kidnapped for six more years. Back then, he was a child who had an unfair amount of responsibilities and pressure on his shoulders. Chan hadn't minded entertaining Tankhun.

He wishes he hadn't been on leave in London when the kidnapping occurred. It is why he has kept his trips short and rare since.

“But it wasn’t so bad this time,” Chan says, “He didn't keep me. I was allowed to work from here and focus on scheduling. How was your day?”

“Khun Kinn had a few meetings,” Big says, “Porsche attended a couple of them, or he sat out in the lounge with me on standby.”

Chan raises an eyebrow at that, “He didn't have you go in to be on guard for Khun Kinn? In case things went wrong?”

“I was supposed to,” Big says, inching a little closer, “But Khun Chatri made a few comments to me at lunch, so Porsche and Kinn arranged it so Gear went with them into the conference room.”

“Comments?” Chan asks. Big stays silent for a moment, then shrugs the inquiry away.

“So you're flying out on Sunday-”

“What comments?” Chan asks. Big looks reluctant to say. When Chan gives him a moment, only to still get nothing, he breathes out through his nose and pulls Big even closer. Big scoots in immediately, entering Chan’s space until their heads are resting on the same pillow.

“Nothing horrible,” Big says quietly, hesitating at first, but tentatively resting his arm around Chan. Since Big is doing it to him, Chan returns the gesture, “They were just inappropriate.”

“Inappropriate how?”

“He said that he would like some pre-trained guards, that whoever trains us must be highly competent, at least from what he's heard,” Big says, “He was pushing for a guard to be included in the trade. I'm not sure if he was actually serious. But he said I would be at the top of his list. That I was…pretty. That my duties would extend past standing on guard and that he would put…specific orifices to use-”

Chan picks his head up suddenly, “He said that?”

“It was cruder, but he had also been drinking-”

“No excuse,” Chan mutters, turning onto his back to grab his phone.

Big props himself up, “What are you doing?”

Chan doesn't answer as he creates a text with both Kinn and Porsche.

Chan: I will be changing the schedule around until the Chatri deal is closed and he is no longer regularly coming around the compound. Gear, First, and Job will be your guards throughout the rest of the week.

Kinn: Okay. I take it Big mentioned how Chatri conducted himself?

Chan: He told me Chatri made sexual comments and offers. While I realize the guards are expected to risk their lives under necessary circumstances, it is not a part of the contract for them to face unwanted advances or harassment from our so-called allies. I understand that severing the Chatri deal would cause tension and not be in the best interest for the family's various business dealings with him, but it is not acceptable for him to conduct himself the way he did this afternoon. He will no longer have access to Big.

Kinn: We took steps once we realized Chatri’s behavior might continue. However, I believe having Big stationed elsewhere during Chatri’s appointments will be for the best as well. I am glad he felt comfortable telling you, especially if the situation made him uneasy or upset. I will make sure to debrief with him in the morning so that he knows Chatri’s propositions were unacceptable and that he doesn't need to put up with that kind of situation should it ever arise again.

Porsche: We would never sell Big!

Good, because Chan might turn on the entire family and burn down the compound if a deal like that occurred. He doesn't put the threat out there though.

Porsche: I could tell it pissed Big off. I tried to get him to talk about it when we switched him out, but he remained annoyingly professional and stoic.

Chan: Which is why it might be important to make the guards' autonomy and expectations clear. This is not the first time something like this has happened - to Big or a few of the other guards. While I have told them to calmly but firmly set up boundaries with visiting allies and associates if something like this occurs, they might be more likely to do it if they heard it from Khun Kinn.

Kinn: I'm sure Pa has said something to them in the past.

He hasn't. Chan knows Korn has not said a word about situations where guards get harassed or asked for when it comes to a potential trade. Korn wants the guards to feel cared for and financially stable, but never secure or truly safe.

Chan: He hasn't, at least to my knowledge. We have several younger guards here who have various forms of trauma, little to no support systems outside of their coworkers, and might not know how to handle an imbalance like that. Big has seniority over most of them, but he is only 28. Chatri is twice his age, extremely wealthy, and should have never put Big in that position.

Porsche: Agreed! When he groped Big, I almost flipped out at him. 😡 If you had seen it, I KNOW you would have intimidated the shit out of the guy.

Chan looks away from his phone and stares at Big sharply, “He touched you?”

Big keeps his arm around Chan’s middle, “Are you talking to Kinn or Porsche?”

“Both,” Chan says, then lets out a harsh breath, “Were you ever alone with him?”

Big shrugs, “Just to escort him into the East Wing dining area.”

“Did anything happen during that time?”

“Comments,” is all Big says at first, but then elaborates, “He's done it a few times over the years, but he was surprisingly bold today. Maybe he is getting an early form of dementia and doesn't care about how he comes across anymore-”

“He's not,” Chan grunts out as he focuses on his phone, “He knows exactly what he's doing.”

“Clearly not if he thinks I'm worth throwing into a business deal.”

Chan pauses, then puts his phone back down on his chest, “I would say that you are wrong since your assumption seems to be coming from a self-deprecating place, but no human should be thrown into a business deal or bought.”

Big doesn't have anything to say to that, so Chan picks up his phone again. He wants details. He wants to know how bad it was so he can figure out a way to kill Chatri and not have it traced back to him. But even if it was, he would stand by his decision.

Chan: Elaborate on what you mean by “grope.”

Porsche: You guys are really close, huh? You sound so protective of him 🥰

Chan: Elaborate.

Porsche: 🙄 Fine. You should know, so I’ll tell you. Chatri was AWFUL to him! He was literally trying to push Big up against a wall and undo his pants when I turned the corner to meet them. Big dodged him and got some distance between them, but still! Pissed me off, and I could tell Big was pissed off too.

As Chan turns his head to look at Big again, Big jerks his own back slightly at Chan’s expression.

“...I'm sure they are making it sound worse than it was-”

“Stop,” Chan grunts before his phone pings again.

Kinn: I made it clear to Chatri that Big was never going to be a part of a deal and to refrain from touching any of our guards if he wanted to keep our connection positive and lucrative. And again, I will make sure to check in with Big tomorrow. Or tonight, if he is available.

Porsche: Since he just told you, I assume he might be nearby? You can send him over. We’d be happy to apologize for what happened, reassure him that we will advocate for him, and encourage him to advocate for himself if something similar happens in the future.

Chan stares at his phone for a minute, then glances at Big. They are both already in their pajamas. Big looks relaxed despite his day, and he is gently twirling the fabric of Chan’s grey t-shirt around his fingers.

Chan: He can meet with you tomorrow. Good night.

“Are you mad?”

Chan sighs, “Not at you. At Chatri. And at myself for scheduling you for meetings with him. I really wish you would have told me this has been an issue in the past.”

“He hasn't come around that much, not since he invested in the resort chain,” Big says, then focuses on Chan’s shirt again, “We weren't as close then.”

“No, but we were close enough. I mentored you,” Chan says, “I wish you would have come to me about it. I would have made sure it stopped being a problem much sooner. And if it somehow continued anyway, I would have done everything in my power to protect you.”

Big stares at him wide eyed before clearing his throat and looking away again, “It wasn't that serious.”

Maybe not compared to other things they have faced, but it feels more than serious enough to Chan.

“Just promise me you won't hesitate telling me if something like that happens again,” Chan says, “It doesn't matter who, but if you feel like someone is…abusing their power to manipulate you or see how much you will put up with…even if it's me-”

“Even if it's you?” Big says, lifting his head up, “What do you mean?”

Now, Chan is the one who feels tight lipped.

“Chan? What do you mean?”

Fine. He’ll just say it.

“I realize that our…friendship…” Chan starts, then briefly closes his eyes, “I realize what we are doing is not typical, especially with the differences in our rank.”

Big stays quiet, his arms still around Chan’s middle. Chan feels himself sharply breathes in with surprise when Big leans in and rests his cheek against Chan’s shoulder.

“I don't have a problem with this,” Big says, “If I did, I wouldn't initiate…things like this most of the time. It's normally me who starts it, Phi.”

That's true.

“You don't intimidate me. Sorry.”

As Chan huffs out a laugh, Big props himself up on Chan’s chest and Chan lifts his hand to run it up and down Big’s back.

“Are you uncomfortable by this?” Big asks him.

No. Maybe not knowing what is exactly happening between them is uncomfortable. Not knowing how to proceed or if he even should is also uncomfortable. But Big’s proximity, Big’s touch, and the closeness that has developed between them over the last year and a half is a comfort.

He wants Big to move back in. It would be so easy. They don't even need to redo the office. Big doesn’t seem to mind sleeping here in the bed with him. Last night, Chan offered. Tonight, Big was the one to ask to stay the night with him.

So maybe Chan isn't pressuring him.

“Do you…” Big starts, then tries again, “If you want me to leave-”

“No.”

“Or stop touching you…” Big says, then looks down at Chan’s chest. When he makes a move to lift himself off, Chan shifts his arm underneath him and pulls him back in.

“No,” Chan murmurs. Big - now resting inside the crook of his arm - looks up at him with a mixture of hope and hesitation. All Chan can do is lift his other hand to cup Big’s cheek. Big keeps his eyes on him as he lifts his own hand to keep Chan’s right where it is.

“I like you,” Big says, his voice sounding slightly strangled, “It's uh…It's a lot more than just like, but I don't want to fuck up everything between us if you don't feel the same way. So that's all I'm willing to say for now.”

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