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ae-azile · 8 months ago

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Lost & Found: Chapter 2 Preview

He welcomes Big into his bed again that night. The thought of being alone is off-putting, and Big seems okay with staying. In fact, he seems as relieved as Chan feels to have company.

“Did Khun Korn give you today off too?” Big asks as he slips under the covers next to him, “I didn't see you around.”

Chan gives Big a sort-of motion with his hand before turning onto his side to face Big, “I met him for lunch. Played chess and discussed a book he decided we both needed to read a couple of weeks ago. He's worse than Tankhun when it comes to needing a guard around to entertain him.”

Big snorts, “I doubt it.”

“It's true,” Chan says, “He's incredibly needy and annoying.”

And then, he remembers that he is talking to a guard under his supervision.

“I mean…” Chan says, correcting himself while Big fails to hold back an amused grin, “He's…an intellectual who wants his guards to take part in his hobbies.”

“Like father, like son.”

“Pretty much,” Chan says, but he remembers not minding so much with Tankhun. Granted, Tankhun was eleven when Chan started, he wasn't kidnapped for six more years. Back then, he was a child who had an unfair amount of responsibilities and pressure on his shoulders. Chan hadn't minded entertaining Tankhun.

He wishes he hadn't been on leave in London when the kidnapping occurred. It is why he has kept his trips short and rare since.

“But it wasn’t so bad this time,” Chan says, “He didn't keep me. I was allowed to work from here and focus on scheduling. How was your day?”

“Khun Kinn had a few meetings,” Big says, “Porsche attended a couple of them, or he sat out in the lounge with me on standby.”

Chan raises an eyebrow at that, “He didn't have you go in to be on guard for Khun Kinn? In case things went wrong?”

“I was supposed to,” Big says, inching a little closer, “But Khun Chatri made a few comments to me at lunch, so Porsche and Kinn arranged it so Gear went with them into the conference room.”

“Comments?” Chan asks. Big stays silent for a moment, then shrugs the inquiry away.

“So you're flying out on Sunday-”

“What comments?” Chan asks. Big looks reluctant to say. When Chan gives him a moment, only to still get nothing, he breathes out through his nose and pulls Big even closer. Big scoots in immediately, entering Chan’s space until their heads are resting on the same pillow.

“Nothing horrible,” Big says quietly, hesitating at first, but tentatively resting his arm around Chan. Since Big is doing it to him, Chan returns the gesture, “They were just inappropriate.”

“Inappropriate how?”

“He said that he would like some pre-trained guards, that whoever trains us must be highly competent, at least from what he's heard,” Big says, “He was pushing for a guard to be included in the trade. I'm not sure if he was actually serious. But he said I would be at the top of his list. That I was…pretty. That my duties would extend past standing on guard and that he would put…specific orifices to use-”

Chan picks his head up suddenly, “He said that?”

“It was cruder, but he had also been drinking-”

“No excuse,” Chan mutters, turning onto his back to grab his phone.

Big props himself up, “What are you doing?”

Chan doesn't answer as he creates a text with both Kinn and Porsche.

Chan: I will be changing the schedule around until the Chatri deal is closed and he is no longer regularly coming around the compound. Gear, First, and Job will be your guards throughout the rest of the week.

Kinn: Okay. I take it Big mentioned how Chatri conducted himself?

Chan: He told me Chatri made sexual comments and offers. While I realize the guards are expected to risk their lives under necessary circumstances, it is not a part of the contract for them to face unwanted advances or harassment from our so-called allies. I understand that severing the Chatri deal would cause tension and not be in the best interest for the family's various business dealings with him, but it is not acceptable for him to conduct himself the way he did this afternoon. He will no longer have access to Big.

Kinn: We took steps once we realized Chatri’s behavior might continue. However, I believe having Big stationed elsewhere during Chatri’s appointments will be for the best as well. I am glad he felt comfortable telling you, especially if the situation made him uneasy or upset. I will make sure to debrief with him in the morning so that he knows Chatri’s propositions were unacceptable and that he doesn't need to put up with that kind of situation should it ever arise again.

Porsche: We would never sell Big!

Good, because Chan might turn on the entire family and burn down the compound if a deal like that occurred. He doesn't put the threat out there though.

Porsche: I could tell it pissed Big off. I tried to get him to talk about it when we switched him out, but he remained annoyingly professional and stoic.

Chan: Which is why it might be important to make the guards' autonomy and expectations clear. This is not the first time something like this has happened - to Big or a few of the other guards. While I have told them to calmly but firmly set up boundaries with visiting allies and associates if something like this occurs, they might be more likely to do it if they heard it from Khun Kinn.

Kinn: I'm sure Pa has said something to them in the past.

He hasn't. Chan knows Korn has not said a word about situations where guards get harassed or asked for when it comes to a potential trade. Korn wants the guards to feel cared for and financially stable, but never secure or truly safe.

Chan: He hasn't, at least to my knowledge. We have several younger guards here who have various forms of trauma, little to no support systems outside of their coworkers, and might not know how to handle an imbalance like that. Big has seniority over most of them, but he is only 28. Chatri is twice his age, extremely wealthy, and should have never put Big in that position.

Porsche: Agreed! When he groped Big, I almost flipped out at him. 😡 If you had seen it, I KNOW you would have intimidated the shit out of the guy.

Chan looks away from his phone and stares at Big sharply, “He touched you?”

Big keeps his arm around Chan’s middle, “Are you talking to Kinn or Porsche?”

“Both,” Chan says, then lets out a harsh breath, “Were you ever alone with him?”

Big shrugs, “Just to escort him into the East Wing dining area.”

“Did anything happen during that time?”

“Comments,” is all Big says at first, but then elaborates, “He's done it a few times over the years, but he was surprisingly bold today. Maybe he is getting an early form of dementia and doesn't care about how he comes across anymore-”

“He's not,” Chan grunts out as he focuses on his phone, “He knows exactly what he's doing.”

“Clearly not if he thinks I'm worth throwing into a business deal.”

Chan pauses, then puts his phone back down on his chest, “I would say that you are wrong since your assumption seems to be coming from a self-deprecating place, but no human should be thrown into a business deal or bought.”

Big doesn't have anything to say to that, so Chan picks up his phone again. He wants details. He wants to know how bad it was so he can figure out a way to kill Chatri and not have it traced back to him. But even if it was, he would stand by his decision.

Chan: Elaborate on what you mean by “grope.”

Porsche: You guys are really close, huh? You sound so protective of him 🥰

Chan: Elaborate.

Porsche: 🙄 Fine. You should know, so I’ll tell you. Chatri was AWFUL to him! He was literally trying to push Big up against a wall and undo his pants when I turned the corner to meet them. Big dodged him and got some distance between them, but still! Pissed me off, and I could tell Big was pissed off too.

As Chan turns his head to look at Big again, Big jerks his own back slightly at Chan’s expression.

“...I'm sure they are making it sound worse than it was-”

“Stop,” Chan grunts before his phone pings again.

Kinn: I made it clear to Chatri that Big was never going to be a part of a deal and to refrain from touching any of our guards if he wanted to keep our connection positive and lucrative. And again, I will make sure to check in with Big tomorrow. Or tonight, if he is available.

Porsche: Since he just told you, I assume he might be nearby? You can send him over. We’d be happy to apologize for what happened, reassure him that we will advocate for him, and encourage him to advocate for himself if something similar happens in the future.

Chan stares at his phone for a minute, then glances at Big. They are both already in their pajamas. Big looks relaxed despite his day, and he is gently twirling the fabric of Chan’s grey t-shirt around his fingers.

Chan: He can meet with you tomorrow. Good night.

“Are you mad?”

Chan sighs, “Not at you. At Chatri. And at myself for scheduling you for meetings with him. I really wish you would have told me this has been an issue in the past.”

“He hasn't come around that much, not since he invested in the resort chain,” Big says, then focuses on Chan’s shirt again, “We weren't as close then.”

“No, but we were close enough. I mentored you,” Chan says, “I wish you would have come to me about it. I would have made sure it stopped being a problem much sooner. And if it somehow continued anyway, I would have done everything in my power to protect you.”

Big stares at him wide eyed before clearing his throat and looking away again, “It wasn't that serious.”

Maybe not compared to other things they have faced, but it feels more than serious enough to Chan.

“Just promise me you won't hesitate telling me if something like that happens again,” Chan says, “It doesn't matter who, but if you feel like someone is…abusing their power to manipulate you or see how much you will put up with…even if it's me-”

“Even if it's you?” Big says, lifting his head up, “What do you mean?”

Now, Chan is the one who feels tight lipped.

“Chan? What do you mean?”

Fine. He’ll just say it.

“I realize that our…friendship…” Chan starts, then briefly closes his eyes, “I realize what we are doing is not typical, especially with the differences in our rank.”

Big stays quiet, his arms still around Chan’s middle. Chan feels himself sharply breathes in with surprise when Big leans in and rests his cheek against Chan’s shoulder.

“I don't have a problem with this,” Big says, “If I did, I wouldn't initiate…things like this most of the time. It's normally me who starts it, Phi.”

That's true.

“You don't intimidate me. Sorry.”

As Chan huffs out a laugh, Big props himself up on Chan’s chest and Chan lifts his hand to run it up and down Big’s back.

“Are you uncomfortable by this?” Big asks him.

No. Maybe not knowing what is exactly happening between them is uncomfortable. Not knowing how to proceed or if he even should is also uncomfortable. But Big’s proximity, Big’s touch, and the closeness that has developed between them over the last year and a half is a comfort.

He wants Big to move back in. It would be so easy. They don't even need to redo the office. Big doesn’t seem to mind sleeping here in the bed with him. Last night, Chan offered. Tonight, Big was the one to ask to stay the night with him.

So maybe Chan isn't pressuring him.

“Do you…” Big starts, then tries again, “If you want me to leave-”

“No.”

“Or stop touching you…” Big says, then looks down at Chan’s chest. When he makes a move to lift himself off, Chan shifts his arm underneath him and pulls him back in.

“No,” Chan murmurs. Big - now resting inside the crook of his arm - looks up at him with a mixture of hope and hesitation. All Chan can do is lift his other hand to cup Big’s cheek. Big keeps his eyes on him as he lifts his own hand to keep Chan’s right where it is.

“I like you,” Big says, his voice sounding slightly strangled, “It's uh…It's a lot more than just like, but I don't want to fuck up everything between us if you don't feel the same way. So that's all I'm willing to say for now.”

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ae-azile · 8 months ago

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Lost & Found: Chapter 3 Preview

Big wakes up prior to the alarm. Even though this is the second night in a row he has spent the night, he woke up feeling much more confused yesterday morning. Comforted and hopeful, but confused. Last night made things so much clearer. Apparently, Chan likes him too. Someone Big has feelings for - someone Big loves - actually seems to like him back.

He didn't think that was possible. Part of him wonders if he dreamed it or misunderstood in some way. But considering their pajamas and underwear are on the floor and they are both naked under the covers, Big is sure last night happened. The way Chan is still holding him tells him that it did too.

He can't believe he told Chan how he felt. He figured it would be the same as it was with Kinn. Push the feelings down, try his best to be there for him as a friend and subordinate, and accept that Chan is above him and deserves better. But things have been so different with Chan. Whatever line had been between them before became so blurred over the last two years. There had been times where the line blurred slightly with Kinn. He comforted Kinn a lot after they thought they killed Tawan. Sometimes he needed to be hugged, put to bed, or someone to stay close on nights where things got a little too dark. But it was always professional, in some way. The interactions may have caused Big to develop feelings for Kinn, but there was still a definitive boundary that he never tried to cross. Getting shot made him feel full acceptance when it came to that. Even though he thought he was dying with the knowledge he was cared for by maybe a few, but loved by no one, he accepted it.

And then he woke up several nights later and Chan was asleep in a chair at his bedside. He looked exhausted, but he woke up within seconds after sensing Big was awake. He held his hand, comforted him, spent every moment of free time with him, did everything he could to nurse Big back to health while preparing for a potential attack, and moved him into his suite once one became imminent.

Big had wanted to kiss him then, back when he begged Chan to stay. He rushed over to him and clung onto his waist, still emotional and confused from the drugs in his system, and traumatized from the injuries and recent events. Chan had hugged him back without hesitation. Even in the mindset Big was in, that had surprised him. It hadn't been surprising that Chan told him he couldn't stay in the suite with him. All Big could do was compromise and ask Chan to do anything he could to stay safe. Chan promised him that much. He promised, and it was a lie.

Chan better not be lying to him right now.

Big looks at Chan’s sleeping face suspiciously, then tries not to get paranoid over the possibility. Instead, he just wraps himself around Chan more fully. They had talked that out a couple of times, and Chan apologized for it. Even if he hadn't, Big still would have taken care of him. Chan was in the infirmary for over a month. He had an even closer call than Big did, as well as a longer medically induced coma. Big remembers both Kinn and Porsche trying to get him to go back to his own suite. But that had been so unappealing. His suite was too far from the infirmary - from Chan - and it also still had Ken’s things in it, which made it so Big never wanted to go back there again.

They did end up quietly saying he could continue staying in Chan’s suite if he wanted, that they seriously doubted Chan would mind. While it was closer and it was more appealing than his own suite in multiple ways, Big knew he would sleep better on the couch in Chan’s infirmary suite. While other people visited - Kinn, Porsche, Tankhun, Arm, and Pol, mainly - no one was there more than Big because Big barely left.

Even when Chan woke up and Big was reassured that Chan would be alright despite needing a lengthier recovery, Big still stayed. Chan had been out of sorts and needed someone around.

Especially when Korn visited and Chan made his anger and resentment towards Korn clear. Big hadn’t blamed him for feeling that way at all, and while Chan lacked a filter, Big thinks his mind was pretty clear when he called Korn a “sociopathic snake” to his face.

Big was ready to jump across that bed and take another bullet if needed. But Korn had just smiled and told Chan that every step taken was a necessary measure. He then said that Chan was family and it was of utmost importance that he get some rest, all while barely dodging the glass of water Chan threw at his head.

Big still has no idea how Chan got back into Korn’s good graces after that. He knows Korn hasn’t gotten back into Chan's. Not really. Maybe they are both just faking because neither of them feel like they have any choice.

Yet - for some reason - Chan continued to choose Big. He’s the one who said Big could continue to stay in his suite with him, even though there were probably more capable candidates. He was stubborn about the level of care he needed for a while - likely a mixture of Chan’s pride and his concern for Big’s injuries - but they made things work, supported each other the best they could, and became closer with each passing day. Soon enough, Big could pick up on Chan's micro expressions and how he was feeling, and Chan could pick up on his. They knew how to move around each other while getting ready or cooking in the kitchen, and their physical affection grew in a way Big never experienced from anyone. It had been foreign to want to feel someone else’s touch to that extent. It's what made Big start initiating, just to see if Chan would reciprocate. When he actually did, Big would feel an exhilarating, panicky feeling that was conflicting and addicting. There were times he had to remind himself that it wasn't like with what happened to him before, that Chan wouldn't hurt him or do anything Big didn't want him to do. It had been strange because Big wanted to be close to Chan. But earlier on, it could cause brief and strange regressive states where he felt young, undesirable, and vulnerable. When he had moments like that, he always prepared himself for Chan to ask him to pack up his things. But instead, Chan seemed to catch on that Big needed attention, affection, and someone close by. Those had usually been the nights when they both found an excuse to fall asleep on the couch together with the television on. It always made Big feel safe. Soon enough, touching Chan and being touched by Chan only resulted in security and comfort - foreign feelings, up until that point.

And because it felt so foreign, they also played into why he moved out. Even though he really did leave because people were gossiping about them and he didn't want that to affect Chan's position, he also left because he felt it would be easier if he was the one to put that distance in place. Chan had become addicting, Big had fallen in love with someone who could never love him back, and he didn't want to put that burden on Chan. It had been both selfless and selfish and he regretted it every single day, even though he still spent so much time with Chan outside of work anyway.

He thought he might regret confessing his feelings. It had put everything that developed between them on the line. But considering Chan was leaving for an extended period of time, he felt like he would regret it if he didn't. Chan hugging him in the parking lot and asking Big to sleep in the bed with him made him wonder if Chan might feel the same way.

Apparently, he does. Going by last night, he does. Now, Big doesn't regret telling him at all.

Although, he regrets going off into his head after they came together. It was as if he had the best feeling in the world, never feeling more emotionally and physically close to a person in his life, only to become absent. And Chan caught onto it. He tried to get him to talk about it.

That isn't going to happen. Ever. Chan doesn't need to know. He proved to himself a long time ago that he’s fine. He hooked up with a few guys, just to prove to himself that he could become intimate with someone in the event anyone would want a relationship with him. The last time may have happened years ago, but he still did it.

And yet he went into his head with Chan. He blanked out with the man he loves so much that it consumes him.

“You're awake early.”

Big shakes his head before nestling it under Chan’s chin, “I'm not awake.”

“So you're sleep talking?” Chan asks, gently scratching Big’s back, “You only did that in the infirmary and when you were sick with the flu six months ago.”

Big opens his eyes and shifts over until he is partially on top of Chan, “I don't remember that.”

“Not surprised.”

“What did I say?”

“Hmm…” Chan starts, seeming like he is trying to recall, “Well, you were really out of it in the infirmary. Most of the stuff you said made very little sense. Probably things left over from whatever you had been dreaming. But there were a few times you would seem lucid, only to take me by surprise and made me realize you absolutely weren't.”

“What happened those times?”

“A few days after you woke up, you talked about a book you had read several weeks before. I had also read it, and you were on point about the plot, characterizations, and themes, but you said I didn't seem like the type to read something like that. I took offense. Not outwardly, but still. Then, I realized you didn't even know who I was. You thought I was Pol-”

“I did NOT think you were Pol,” Big scoffs.

“You did,” Chan says, “I think it is because he was sitting with you during my shift and your brain hadn't caught up with the change in company. But you believed I was Pol for about two hours, and then you were bewildered as to how I got there once you snapped out of it.”

Big lightly slaps Chan’s chest, “You could have corrected me.”

“I did. Several times. You didn't believe me.”

“Weird,” Big says, “Did I say or do anything else embarrassing?”

“You weren't embarrassing. You were funny and cute,” Chan muses, “Sort of a brat too.”

“Was not. Tell me.”

“...You asked for a dog at one point,” Chan says, “You were…It wasn’t even when you were out of the woods yet. You opened your eyes, took my hand, and said having a dog would make you really happy.”

Big blinks at that, then shrugs, “I always wanted one when I was younger. Badly. I was trying to prove I was responsible enough to get one when the accident happened. I guess it's for the best I didn't get one. The dog would have been put in a shelter or worse once I went into government custody. Did you remind me of the rule about guards not being allowed to have pets? I know Tankhun has tried again and again to get Korn to change it even though none of the guards asked him to, but I get why it's in place. In case something happens. Guess I didn't remember when I was out of my head like that. So I'm guessing you talked me out of that idea?”

Chan goes quiet for a moment, then lets out a sharp exhale and shakes his head, “No. It was the first time you talked and I wasn't sure if you were going to make it. I just looked up shelters on my phone to see what kind of dog you might like, and in an attempt to keep him you talking.You were drawn to this six year old mutt. She was found on the outskirts of the city. After you went back to sleep, I prayed to whoever might be listening and begged for you to get better, that if you got better, I would get you that dog, regardless of the rules.”

Big shifts a little and stares at Chan for a moment, “And then you came to your senses and remembered we can't have dogs.”

“No, I booked an appointment to visit her and see if she was a good fit,” Chan says, taking Big by surprise, “And then Korn texted me and told me that I did not need to get a dog, especially at that time.”

Korn is such a creep. But Big refrains from saying that. Besides, they really aren't supposed to have pets.

“It probably is for the best you didn't get her for me,” Big says softly, “I wasn't in the shape to care for her, and you got hurt not too long after. Although you could have avoided that-”

“Is that what we are going to talk about? Again?” Chan asks with a sigh.

“Fine,” Big says, then pushes his head under Chan’s chin again, “How much time do we have until we need to get up?”

“You have more time to sleep than I do. My alarm is set for 6:30,” Chan tells him.

Big sits up briefly and looks at the clock, “It's 5:30.”

“I want to shower,” Chan says, sitting up too, "I should do it now. If I go back to sleep, I won't want to get up.”

“I want to shower with you,” Big tells him, causing Chan’s eyebrows to rise in surprise. He isn't going to overthink what he just said or of the potential ramifications of it - like Chan changing his mind or thinking Big is being too forward. But Chan must not mind or even like the idea since Big finds himself on his back and Chan’s lips on his a second later. Big is taking the move as permission that he can.

—----------------------------------------------------------------

Big thought he would be the reluctant one to go to work. He has less of a reason to go than he normally would. Unless there is an event, off-site meeting, or a crisis, shifts in the armory tend to be geared towards making sure their inventory is stocked and the weapons are cared for properly. Big can help with some of the security updates when he is there since he has more than enough tech knowledge for that, but Arm tends to be the one who experiments in building new weapons. So Big figures that he will mainly be sitting there watching the cameras. Considering he is going to be an extra body in the armory, it feels like a pointless shift.

But since it is going to be an easier day for him, Big decided to make breakfast. They are both up early, and Big doesn't have to be in the armory until 9. He's making eggs benedict with tomato, arugula, avocado, and turkey bacon since they are all things Chan has in his fridge, along with breakfast potatoes. Big tends to be more partial to Thai food, but has broadened his palate a lot in the last year. They both started experimenting with more dishes when they started cooking for each other. Big even found a few international cookbooks on his day off and brought them back. They would make breakfast for each other every morning, but dinner was only able to happen a couple of times a week due to scheduling. It made those meals more special though. They would take turns planning the meal by picking a country, looking through the books, and finding a recipe representing the country chosen. They would sometimes do it randomly, but it was planned on Thursday and Sunday nights. When they both returned to light duty, Chan made sure they were off at the same time and neither of them ever deviated from those plans. If Porsche, Arm, and Pol invited him out one of those nights, Big always declined. Hum Bar only happened after work on other days or when he was technically working an evening shift with Kinn.

It was one of the things he missed the most when he left. They would still cook for each other when Big spent the night or they spent the evening together, but it wasn't a consistent or planned thing. This feels closer to before. Big prepping the plates, Chan making fresh juice. It's so simple and domestic, yet is also a rebellion of sorts. The other guards don't get to do this. Only they have this bubble that provides a barrier between them and the rest of the world.

And Chan apparently wants to stay in it.

“I want to call off,” Chan says, wrapping his arms around Big’s middle from behind before pressing a kiss to his shoulder, “You don't even have to call off, not when I can just take you off the schedule.”

Big leans back against Chan briefly, tilting his head back for a kiss before focusing on the food, “Khun Korn essentially gave you two days of light duty. What will your excuse be?”

“Dread and premature grief.”

“You just said in the shower that you hope your father dies before Sunday so you can just go for the arrangements and funeral, then come back.”

“Fine,” Chan says, “I can tell Korn I need to pack.”

“You told me he's giving you Friday and Saturday off to relax and pack,” Big says, then turns off the burner to wrap his arms around Chan’s shoulders, “So what’s the real reason?”

Chan gives him a once over and says nothing.

“Oh,” Big says, feeling that strange, nervous excitement fill him again, “The shower make-out session wasn't enough?”

Again, Chan doesn't answer and instead leans forward to kiss Big’s neck. Instead of reminding Chan that they really don't have time to do this right now, Big kisses him deeply. Maybe it's because he can't quite believe this, that Chan wants this - wants him. He never thought Chan wanted him, not like this. Maybe as someone on his team or even as a close friend, but Big figured that was all that would transpire. He hadn't been completely ignorant though. He has been relatively sure about being Chan’s favorite for a while, even before he got injured and they moved in together. It may have been drilled into him by comments from the other guards, but he figured it out.

Although, he never expected they would do things like this - even during the year they lived together.

Why didn't Big say something when they lived together? Why did Big move out to begin with? He's so incredibly stupid.

But both of them not showing up for their shifts will get people talking. Preventing that is why Big moved out, he remembers that now. He is too selfish to stop this. He wants to be with Chan in whatever capacity Chan will allow. But he also knows it is best to not raise suspicions more than they already have, especially with Chan leaving at the end of the week.

“Your food is going to get cold,” Big murmurs against his lips, “And your shift is starting soon. I don't want you to get a talk from Khun Korn. You hate those, and you have gotten more of them since the attack. You have to stop butting heads with him.”

“It's his way of showing he cares,” Chan says, his lips moving to Big’s jaw, “We aren't butting heads.”

“Fine. You're butting your head,” Big says, correcting himself, “And Korn puts up with it due to your extremely high level of competency, some level of familial affection, and guilt. You also never call off. Ever.”

“Fine, but I seriously doubt it is from familial affection and guilt-”

“P’Chan.”

“Hmm?”

Big twists in Chan’s hold enough to grab a fork and stab one of the potatoes from the skillet before holding it to Chan’s mouth. Chan obediently takes a bite.

“It's good. What did you season them with?”

“Rosemary, cayenne, salt, and black pepper,” Big says to him, “I worked hard making this, just for you. It's the hardest I will likely work all day, considering what shift you put me on.”

Chan’s expression becomes more serious at that, “I put you on it for a reason.”

Big rolls his eyes, “I’m aware-”

“It isn't because I don't think you can take care of yourself,” Chan continues, because he clearly isn't finished, “But there is no need for what happened yesterday to happen again.”

“It really isn't a big deal.”

“It is,” Chan counters.

“It's not.”

Chan cups each side of his face and brings him a little closer, “It is. If that fucker comes to the armory, come get me. Or threaten him with one of the many weapons that will be at your disposal. Your decision.”

Big gives Chan a kiss, “I seriously doubt Khun Korn will approve of either option.”

“I don't care.”

“I can see that,” Big observes, “But you still need to work your shift with him. You are the best at being civil with people you aren't happy with. I'm not going to strain that. If Khun Chatri comes by-”

“Keep your distance, tell him to keep his hands to himself, and immediately report to me.”

Big is clearly not going to change Chan’s outlook, so he isn't even going to try again. Hopefully, it isn't an issue at all.

“Eat,” Big says instead, scooping some potatoes on each plate, “You are fixating on an issue that may not even happen. I know you have conditioned yourself to prepare for the worst, but I will be fine. You took steps to make sure I will be fine.”

Chan doesn't seem fully reassured or satisfied, but he lets it go for now and takes his plate. Although, Big likely only has himself to blame for that. He is the one who complained about the shift to begin with. The subject is dropped and they talk about random topics until their meals are almost finished.

“You still want to go out tonight?” Big asks once Chan picks up their plates.

“I assumed we would,” Chan says, “Do you have any requests? Restaurants, things to do?”

Big shrugs, “I'm open. It doesn't have to be fancy or over the top.”

“An upscale dinner cruise. Got it.”

Big snorts, “Whatever. Just let me know what to wear.”

Chan comes back over to the table, then bends over to kiss Big's temple, “If Korn isn't too demanding of my presence, I’ll come to the armory for lunch.”

Lunch feels too far away. Suddenly, Chan’s previous desire to call off so they could just stay in the suite together makes so much sense, all while work doesn't. Big has a strong desire to cling to him. He doesn't even need sex. He just wants Chan to hold him. The thing is, Big has a feeling that Chan would do that for him. He literally offered to call off and to take Big off the schedule.

But he doesn't want to be the reason things become more strained between Chan and Korn. So instead, he just tilts his head upwards for a goodbye kiss. Chan takes the hint and kisses him on the lips.

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