#kris is the worse one here tho

[cacturnia]

me when im blonde, lack compassion, and im from a canceled peak animated show

[underratedandoverit]

You Wanna Wish Away Your Sins (1/3)

After losing to Best Friends at Arcade Anarchy, Kip undergoes shoulder surgery. One person reaching out to him afterwards sends Kip spiraling, turning all the pain and suffering in him into… Flowers? Flowers growing in his lungs?

Kip Sabian/Chuck Taylor. Hanahaki disease. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Emotional hurt/comfort. One-sided attraction.

Marked Mature on AO3 for general content. Warnings for mentions of hospitals, surgery, medical stuff. Described feelings for choking and vomiting.

Other characters include Penelope Ford, Trent Beretta. Kris Statlander and Orange Cassidy are mentioned. Background ship of Penelope/Kris is heavily implied, but never specifically shown.

part 2 || part 3

On AO3

I reeeeally only wanted to start posting this after it was all done, but seeing how I'm two weeks behind on what I wanted the original publishing schedule to be, I need heavy motivation to actually finish this (its about halfway done as of posting this), so! Here's the effort to hopefully help with that! Cause I am planning on finishing this, I have full plans for all three chapters and the epilogue (that'll be tacked onto the final chapter), I just need the energy to realize that its worth finishing so.. I'm getting this up now. To maybe hopefully see its worth it and people want to see this through. Idk.

I have been thinking maybe this concept would have been better with another ship, but I started with this and its very fitting for them, and I need more of this propaganda in my life and seeing how I'm the only one making it… Yeah we're sticking to Kip and Chuck. Sorry not sorry. (also tag list might change a little as i post the rest, tho this should be it generally. i tried to keep it spoiler free for now)

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

----------------------

Beep.

Kip tried to ignore the heart monitor to the best of his ability, and yet his brows furrowed, irritated, at the sound. The soft groan was barely audible in the hospital room that was empty aside from him, as Kip came to witness as he forced his eyes open, returning back to the real world from the sleepless rest he had been attempting to get for the last few hours.

Some would have guessed that sleeping would have been easier when you lost feeling from one of your four limbs, especially from the one going through the extreme levels of pain. But what those same people didn’t understand, was that the medication they put him under with, was amplifying most of his other senses to the point where it was almost painful to just even listen to certain sounds.

Beep.

Kip glared at the monitor, watching the little line on it beep an extra time, almost as if it was mocking him and the hatred raising his heart rate. Kip leaned back on the bed, turning away, eyes landing on the window across the room. The soft rays of sunshine indicated early morning hours, which wouldn’t have surprised him a bit. After coming to from the surgery Kip had been in various states between high alert and sleeping like a log, dozing off whenever he felt like it. Not that it mattered, they didn’t let him go home yet anyway, so he was just taking advantage of sleeping away as much of the irritation and pain he could while he was alone.

Beep.

Slowly Kip’s eyes dragged away from the window, landing on the little drawer next to the bed. Some nice nurse, was his guess unless it really had been Penelope, had left his personal belongings on it on a little tray. Honestly Kip was slightly surprised they had been just left for him like that, out in the open. While sure, he wasn’t sharing the room with anyone else, anyone could just walk in at any time while he was out cold and grab his wallet, keys, and phone and just bail out.

Or even worse, he himself could have used the phone before he was fully aware of himself and his surroundings yet, being under the influence of the painkiller and/or anesthesia. Almost as bad as some of his younger days of drunk dialing.

Beep.

Kip closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as he tried not to get irritated at the sound piercing his ears every couple of moments. As he calmed himself down, he slowly opened his eyes again, landing them back on the phone on the tray. He observed it for a moment, trying to count in his head how long it had been since he was wheeled into the operating room, how long it had been since he had last checked anything.

Really all he could remember was the little kiss Penelope placed on the top of his head, whispering him good luck before he was wheeled away from her too.

Beep.

Kip’s hand slipped away from under the thin covers of the awfully medical feeling blanket thrown over him, reaching for the phone. It was easier said than done to be honest, having to navigate the world now mostly with his non-dominant hand and everything. Kip fumbled a little, almost letting the phone slip from his fingers, letting out a string of quiet curse words from under his breath as he barely caught it again before it managed to fall to the floor, where he most definitely wouldn’t have been able to grab it without getting some help first.

With a sigh he lowered the phone into his lap, brushing a hand through his hair. Everything was just so bothersome and irritating to him, he could barely do things by himself. And every single little bit that he required some kind of help with, Kip hated even more. He understood the situation he was in, absolutely, but that didn’t mean that he was going to enjoy being so dependent on others when he could just as easily do all of this, and more, by himself before.

Beep.

His eyes landed back on the phone now sitting on the bed in his lap, the fingers of his right hand carefully drumming against the dark screen. It felt cold to the touch, clearly not having been turned on for a while or being held in a hand using it. Kip had no idea if there would even be any messages for him to return to, sure there were people like his family, friends, and co-workers who knew he was going through the surgery, but most people he felt like had already been in touch the day before, wishing him luck. He vaguely remembered Penelope telling him she would send him reminders about things he needed to take care of after surgery, but that was all he was expecting.

And yet, there was some sort of odd feeling of hesitation in him as Kip’s fingers kept drawing circles on the screen, only mimicking opening apps and scrolling through them.

Beep.

It was almost as if the sound was mocking him at this point, screaming at him to do something. Kip glared at the monitor on his side, eyes slowly returning back to the phone. He carefully took it back into his hand, weighting it for a moment, his thumb navigating on top of the power button almost on instinct. Kip barely stopped himself from pressing it down, taking a moment to ask himself if it was worth it.

As far as he knew, nobody was going to need him while he was gone. He was going to have to turn it on later to get in touch with Penelope about getting out of the hospital as she had promised to pick him up, but apart from that… Kip didn’t really know what to expect. On the other hand though, this kind of silence gave him a good chance to catch up on other important things he might have missed, if there weren't people he needed to get back to.

What could go wrong?

Beep.

Kip held down the button, watching as the screen slowly lit up, greeting him with the familiar opening screens. His eyes narrowed a little at the sudden bright lighting hitting him, but soon enough he was booted in, allowing him to adjust the screen brightness to his liking. Kip was still trying to get used to being awake and feeling like himself in his own body, and coming off from heavy medication, even if it had been a day since then, it was like a dark cloud hanging over him. He didn’t enjoy it in the slightest, but Kip knew it was a necessary step if he wanted to get through all of this. Unfortunately.

As he got himself back into his phone, Kip absentmindedly scrolled through some of the messages that were popping up little by little all over the place. Mostly it was just few remaining co-workers and friends that hadn’t reached out earlier wishing him speedy recovery and hoping that the surgery goes well, the usual things you’d message to someone you didn’t talk to more than occasionally but who you knew was going to go through something heavy like this and you had their contact info at hand. Kip scrolled through the well-wishes, smiling occasionally a little more as he watched the different names and profile pictures he recognized, wondering how many of these people actually cared or if this was just a cleverly arranged mass ruse so he would maybe feel a bit better after being under the knife.

And then.

Kip’s eyes locked onto one of the messages, starting with a word he didn’t expect to see.

‘Sorry’.

He didn’t notice his grip on the phone getting tighter until holding it actually hurt his hand, but Kip pushed the thought aside. Unblinking eyes stared at the phone screen as it burned the images of the words on his retinas until they were hurting too, but he was too deep in his own head to look away, to stop reading the message he didn’t think he would be getting. Not now, not ever.

Not from Chuck.

‘Sorry about your shoulder. Heard from Kris you were getting surgery. I didn’t mean to hurt you that bad. Hope you heal well. If you need something, let me know.’

Kip’s mind was nothing but static. The phone light hurt his eyes, his grip hurt his hand, reading and processing the words in his head. The pain shooting through him was almost comparable to the jolts he experienced going through the structure Chuck had thrown them both down to from the stage, only this one was even worse somehow.

‘If you need something, let me know.’

He didn’t read that right. He couldn’t have read that right. There was no way Chuck Taylor out of all people would say something like this to him. Or even text these kinds of lines to him. To Kip.

To the man that had been looking at Chuck from a distance with a mixture of interest and admiration for so long without saying any words out loud, without making any moves, without taking any actions to realize the thoughts and feelings he had. There was no way Chuck was doing this, offering help to him if he needed it, without knowing that there was something going on in Kip’s mind that he wasn’t sure was going to be able to handle daylight.

‘I didn’t mean to hurt you that bad.’

Chuck didn’t know Kip was already on his way out when Arcade Anarchy was announced. He had already been told he would require surgery on the torn shoulder, but this match was approved even with the ending spot as it wasn’t going to make his condition any worse than it already was. Kip hadn’t dared to say anything to the Best Friends, in fear that it would hinder their performance; he wanted them at their best, not feeling sorry for him, not trying to be careful with him. Miro knew, but he kept his promise and didn’t say anything either.

For better or worse, Kip wasn’t sure anymore.

Beep. Beep.

He finally tore his eyes away from the phone screen, letting it drop from his hand. Kip curled the fingers a few times trying to ease the pain, eyes blinking as rather painful tears stung in the corners of his eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was a sign of emotional distress or just a side effect of staring at the screen, but it didn’t matter to him. Whichever it was, he didn’t want it, and it was making him feel awful.

Beep. Beep.

Kip slowly looked over at the heart rate monitor, watching the little line make extra jumps and letting out more irritating noises than necessary. His eyes trailed one of the cords leaving from it, watching it being attached to his chest with a little patch. Kip snorted at it, turning away.

Stupid. It was all so fucking stupid.

Beep.

His eyes landed back on the phone, hand reaching for his face as he wiped away a couple of tears. He wasn’t sure why he got so worked up over this, it wasn’t like this meant anything. Chuck was just worried, offering him his condolences and a little help if he needed it, just like everyone else did. That didn’t mean anything, no more, no less, than that he was being a good co-worker. Not even a friend.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Beep.

Maybe that’s why he took it so hard, to be honest. Kip inhaled deeply, almost frightened over how shaky his breathing sounded. He hadn’t expected this to hit him so hard, but something about seeing Chuck Taylor out of all the possible people reaching out to him after hearing about the surgery just sent him spiraling. Short circuited his brain. His thoughts were all gone. Kip’s mind blank, nothing but a newly debuted white canvas ready to be painted on.

And the only visual that appeared on it was Chuck, the moment he held onto Kip seconds before throwing them both off from the stage.

The words he whispered to Kip when the camera was pointing the other way.

“Are you sure?”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

In that moment he had been, only for the fact that he knew Chuck would prevent him from hurting further. At least, in the physical sense. Mentally at that point Kip was already so far down the rabbit hole that it didn’t matter. He would have said yes. Not only to that, but to anything that Chuck asked him.

Was Kip sure? Yes.

Was Kip going to be okay? Yes.

Did Kip want him?

…

Yes.

Yes he did.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He looked back at the monitor, watching the line make extra jumps again. It apparently wasn’t a concerning enough feature, considering how long it had been going on and not a single nurse had gotten in to even check on him yet. Kip understood it though, in a hospital full of patients in worse conditions than what he was in, he was merely a second thought to anyone passing by his room. He didn’t make a sound, he wasn’t in pain, he didn’t exhibit extreme amounts of discomfort.

At least, not on the outside.

Beep. Beep.

Kip leaned his head back against the propped up bed, eyeing the monitor. If he wasn’t thinking about the phone that was still quietly buzzing in his lap, his heart rate slowly went back down. Of course he couldn’t keep this up forever, eventually he would probably have to reply to Chuck, and who knew what kind of fresh hell of wounds that would open on him. How awkward it would make everything if he dared to actually take on Chuck’s own offering and ask him for any help. Of course Kip didn’t need to do that, knowing that Chuck hadn’t actually caused any of this like he was thinking that he did, but…

Maybe it would be a way to get a step closer. To spend time with him. To figure out if Chuck could possibly feel the same way Kip did.

Beep.

Kip closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing. It would be all fine, he lied to himself. It wouldn’t matter if Chuck said no, it wouldn’t matter if they became just friends. Another lie. Kip could live with it if he could just tell Chuck how he felt, and whatever came out of that was just perfectly fine with him.

Kip was such a masterful liar sometimes.

Beep.

He hummed at himself a little, obviously satisfied with the way he made himself at least on some level believe everything was going to be okay. A small smirk tuck the corners of his lips, but Kip resisted it, thinking it was a step too far. He allowed himself to be proud of himself in this situation, but showing it outwards was a little too much.

Instead he yawned, followed by a cough as Kip could feel something scratching in his throat.

Beep.

He tried to gently cough it out, only making the scratching worse. Kip opened his eyes, glancing around him, trying to see if there was even a cup of water somewhere close by, but no such luck. Instead he coughed again, the burning in his throat just growing stronger and feeling grosser the more he tried to physically force whatever was stuck in his airways out of his body.

With a few more coughs the feeling was turning unbearable, Kip rather violently jerking forward as he coughed loudly, hand flying on to cover his mouth as he could feel something dislodging in his throat, attempting a forceful exit out of his mouth.

Beep. Beep.

Maybe he wasn’t as over the side effects of anesthesia as Kip thought, or nausea was a side effect of the painkillers. As the thoughts raced through his mind, Kip tried to keep his mouth covered by his hand, eyes shooting around his limited moving space, trying to find something he could safely vomit into. He could feel another scratch on his throat, knowing that he just had to take it and let it all out, Kip shoved the phone from his lap to the floor in a semi panic, barely hearing it landing with a loud thud before he allowed his insides to empty themselves into his lap.

Beep. Beep.

With his eyes closed to bear the pain, Kip could feel the burning in his lungs, but it all felt different than usual. It was an odd sensation, it felt more like something was scratching and crawling its way up his lungs rather than his throat, pushing painfully out of him rather than flowing in the liquid form like usual. It still burned, but in a softer, almost calming way compared to what Kip knew it should be.

Fearing the mess he had made, Kip slowly opened his eyes, thinking that he might have to call a nurse over to help him out, as much as he hated it. But instead he froze in place, eyes widening in shock as he tried to process the small pile of purple shaded rose petals sitting on his lap instead.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Kip carefully reached a hand towards the petals, shaking fingertips tracing along one. It felt soft, like it was freshly plucked from a flower, the kind of fresh petals you’d spread on a bed for a romantic surprise to a loved one. But the moment was nothing but romantic, it was surprising for sure, but it was more making Kip internally freak out than giving him any sentimental feelings over the sudden pile of petals in his lap.

They had come out from inside of him.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Kip had no idea why. No idea how. He could feel something crawling in his throat again, letting out a soft cough, watching a single petal flowing out of him, landing on top of the pile that had already formed.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Kip’s hands slowly grabbed a hold of the petals, squeezing them in his fists. He froze for a moment, feeling the soft petals against the palms of his hands, against his exposed skin, almost tearing wounds onto him despite their petite appearance.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Kip screamed.

[the-kipsabian]

listened to a podcast talking about this a bit, so im gonna be unhinged for a hot second about the orange cassidy belt corruption arc

i would love one day to write a kinda comprehensive "guide" to all of this, but i'd have to go back to watch a lot of stuff for it (so it would probably have to be after im done with all kip vs oc rewatch stuff. ofc if theres critical changes to this situation that might change idk let me know if this is anything of interest?), buttttt heres a few misc highlights for what i can pull out from the top of my head

first of all, here. what i believe is one of the most pivotal moments in this whole thing. so during the match with pac where oc won the title, danhausen threw a curse at pac literally right above the title

now this was because pac was trying to cheat by using a ring hammer (twice). which honestly kind of already tells us a lot about corruption, i dont remember if he was already kind of mean and wicked with the hammers before his reign, i mean pac has always been a bastard, but you know. did he start doing this after he won the title? cause that would be saying a lot

this also goes hard in this match, cause after pac is caught trying to use the hammer, oc also almost uses it on him. at this point, its just almost tho. its very close, but he chooses to throw it away, and win the match clean. the key here is, what the title is already doing to him before he even gets his hands on it

anyways. so oc does this title reign. all is swell up until the point kip challenges for it, cause thats where the mind games begin which i believe is an important part of this whole deal. kip separates him from his friends effectively, continuous taunting and mind games, he pushes oc to his limits mentally, forcing him to tap into a very dark place in his mind to overcome the odds to beat kip (also oc was showing the first cases of more vicious behavior in this match so like)

like literally this whole storyline is confirmed by the man himself to be about this like. how could this not tap into and mess with ocs psyche going forward tho

also this is just my things but. at revolution, that one time he tagged with danhausen to challenge for the tag titles, oc was the one to change his gear to black. tbh this is personally for me where this whole corruption brainrot started, but its worth mentioning, cause he has not done it since. even when teaming with hook, it was hook who changed his gear colors to match the denim. im just saying (as in, danhausen has to have a finger in this pie somehow. he just absolutely has to)

i didnt watch a lot of what happened with house of black, but thats where the physical issues started. im just inclined to believe that the physical pains just amplified his need to push himself, to show the world that hes worthy of holding this belt and being a champion despite being injured - cause thats what all this was about, right? oc having to prove to the world that despite how hes been viewed up until this point, hes actually an incredible wrestler and a worthy champion. come hell or high water, he will prove that

and thats part of why the belt was so important to him, which could easily be also turned around to be the so called "siren call" of the belt. get me and keep me with whatever way is necessary to prove yourself as a worthy champion. yes even if it costs your mental and physical health and all your friends

and so this got pushed until he literally couldnt do it anymore as mox took oc to his limits and defeated him after physically beating him down worse than before (or i mean, a week after stadium stampede? yeah both of these are factors here lbr). and you saw the miserable creature oc was after losing that title. finding solace in friends that were champions (hook and kris. i think this is an important plot point, i dont think we saw him around chuck and trent during this time. the best friends with no titles....), maybe trying to grasp for some of that former glory that he used to have

until he won the title again. and he was HELLBENT on getting it back. and after he won it, well.. i shared thoughts about this here. which is a very interesting contrast to the first time, a year ago, when he won it the first time

i dont know if i had more thoughts rn, i have lost the plot so heres everything for now. just.. yeah. i have way more things somewhere in my blog and like said i should watch all this back to get everything, but quickly putting it together heres few key points of things. anyways enjoy or whatever. feel free to share thoughts im all ears (especially if i missed anything seemingly key stuff)

[vizziefizzie]

I am very very VERY interested in whatever that fantasy au you posted about is did you have any more ideas on that :O ??? ur art is so cute and pretty btw!!

Hello!! (Sorry this is super late i got very distracted and i am very sick (so if im incoherent, that's why)) I uhhhhh do have a lot of thoughts but it's really hard to write it all down 😭😭. But I can try!

So, in this au, pokemon are a lot more ferocious and more like dangerous fantasy creatures that you'd normally see in a jrpg or smth (in simple terms) so people don't really befriend them or anything (basically legends arceus but people have a worse relationship with them).

And as for the people.... humans are basically *explosions* dead (Ethan is one of the few), the biggest race are the elves (Kris is one... but i have yet to illustrate her (i have a sketch tho (high school is kicking my ass)), and almost every race you'd see in DnD is here too...

But nothing here is super rustic or medieval... aside from smaller towns. Big cities and such are much more developed and are closer to our modern day (with fantasy twists).

Anyway, as for the plot, Ethan basically wakes up one day and sees that his entire town is destroyed (he has been asleep for several years (no, i will not elaborate (that's for another time)). He runs into Silver who was "investigating" the ruins *cough* he's looking for valuables *cough* and Silver is immediately hostile towards him (here, demons and humans have a VERY rocky history).

Silver disappears after attacking him (he only backed off upon seeing how utterly defenseless and incapable Ethan was) and Ethan tries to find an inn to ask for information.

GUESS WHAT!! The nurses are now bartenders. They provide travelers with information and maps and even a place to stay if they're willing to pay. Ethan orders an applejuice and experiences a fuck ton of denial when he's told about the genocide of humankind. And after experiencing severe mental and emotional pain, Ethan gets redirected to a nearby city that can help him find a new home (he's an orphan now (help him)).

On the way, he meets Lyra. I have... many silly ideas with her. She is a folklore-obsessed bard on the hunt for her fellow (feral (not... cat people...)) cats. And as Ethan tags along with her, they look for them. Something something once she finds all the cats she will be able to revert back to her "twu fowrm" something something.

And they eventually meet Kris; an esteemed mage who is a master at ice magic and knowledged about magical artifacts. She only comes with Ethan and Lyra because she has nobody else to help her with her fieldwork. Also, she's just genuinely curious about a living human being walking around town like it's nothing.

I.... never explained Ethan's power.... back to the pokemon thing: legendaries are more like gods that people genuinely fear (and thus, respect). The people who lived in Ethan's town worshiped Lugia in this universe. Thus, many of them were blessed with intelligence and a very small portion recieved some sort of power. Ethan was one of them and he is able to turn his compassion (haha spirit... or uh... soul... haha *gets pulverized*) into literal healing magic... but if he's feeling overwhelmed, the opposite will happen.

Oh and the other characters are here too... they're just considerably different... (esp Lance and anyone associated with team rocket (tr doesn't exist here, its just a family of silly demons (and a moody silver that loves his alone time and independence)) like, Lance is still a dragon master, it's just people think that dragon masters don't exist and they're just a fairytale (Also, Lance is just more reserved and isolated since he's not someone of high status (a champion... you get it))

There's more but damn this is getting a bit long and I'd rather show most of this rather than tell.... but uh... yeah.

[bigshotspambot]

Ok I’m finally making proper tags + some rules

This is kinda my first blog so it’s a WIP (we learning things every day)

WELCOME!! This is where I post a lot of Spamton NEO stuff :) Primarily drawings, but sometimes animated content, writing, and audio. It’s also usually x reader content. (I Just think he’s Neat .)

I’m slow at asks and might not answer all of them but I do still read and appreciate them!

Also, please keep any asks/interactions with this blog SFW-ish (nothing explicit) and respectful please👍 swearing is ok

Please don’t tag my stuff from here as nsfw! Some posts (tagged with the 🔥 emoji) may be mildly suggestive/romantic, but nothing is implying sexual content. Still, I would be most comfortable if this was at least a 15+ space

PROSHIP/SELF LABELLED "PROBLEMATICS" DNI (please .)

I try my best to sort things content-wise, so tags can be found below! (Heads up here are a lot)

SNEO’s design reference sheet here!

Another (Slightly outdated) sneo ref post

#🎨ART TAG

ALL ART. Idk why I didn’t make this sooner lol

#💛I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY [HeartShapedObject]

Comfort and fluff :) can be platonic or romantic. (But I might be a bit biased towards romantic) it’s also a pretty sfw tag just full of wholesome stuff

#👤UP CLoSe AND [Personnel]

Self inserts! Yes.

The self insert character is intended to represent everyone (as well as the original requester if there was one.) but yea it’s just a place to imagine yourself in. Open ended

This goes for all art/content like POVs too, just imagine whatever you want

#🔥 WOAH!?!!!? [HotSingle] IN YOUR AREA ?!?!!????!

Slightly suggestive/flirty content, but usually pretty tame. There will be no NSFW or any implied NSFW on this blog

Feel absolutely free to mute this tag if you aren’t comfortable with it. WORDS LIKE HOT/SEXY WILL SOMETIMES BE USED BUT PROBABLY NOTHING WORSE THAN THAT

#[BIGGer and BETTeR] THaN EV3R!!

Content where Sneo is LARGE . Larger Than Usual. Fanon height where he's like 50-100 feet tall. It’s normal. Don’t worry about it

#[TOP10ScariestThingsInMinecraft]

Content that might be anxiety provoking and SCARY... so mute it if u don’t like that!

#👀CAN YOU REALLY LOOK IN MY [Eyes] AND SAY NO!?

Self insert POV (usually with perspective) 😀idk why I made a tag for this I am messed up.

#🔊Audio

ASMR-ish audios of sneo :) includes short and extended versions

#❓ASK TO YOUR [Beating Heart’s] CONTENT

Responding to asks! Feel free to share ideas for requests, but I may or may not do them. It’s a very on and off thing. Thanks for understanding ❤️

Also I’m sorta shy sometimes and I’m bad at answering them in a timely fashion but I DO READ THEM . So thank you

#☎️ …IT’S FOR YOU!

Basically asks but with a drawing attached

#LO0K KRIS THER”E I AM !!

Cool drawings from nice people :)

#💭IMAGINE

Some semi detailed? Text posts of scenarios involving NEO. Not primarily a writer tho

#I’M [$#&%!] MYSELF

Shitposting lol

#All Alone On A ?

Art without a self insert character, usually just Spamton NEO on his own.

#JUST . THINKING

My own thoughts, rambling, text posts and stuff.

#WOW THAT’’s SOme [Good $#&%!]

Reblogs. I will probably reblog cool art of sneo or stuff that fits the blog from time to time :)

#QUEUE (this tag is dead lol)

Stuff from asks I want to draw but haven’t gotten around to yet. Will (hopefully) edit the post once I have a drawing ready and reblog it

(I tried💔)

#🎶music attached

Posts with music linked because I usually draw to music. Also some music just really fits him/certain drawings and it’s so mmmm

#🚧WIP

WIPs (woah….no way)

Thank you for reading and I hope you Enjoy WHATEVER THIS IS :)💛

[bananonbinary]

Holy shit there's a secret "genocide" alternate ending. It sounds super fake but it's NOT. https://youtu.be/lz_1uVYDhBA

okay so a friend already showed me a google doc about that route and it is WILD, but i hadnt seen the video. here's all my thoughts in a long reaction post:

umm?????? i was JUST speculating about who the angel could be, is it NOELLE? why is she the only one that can geno, why can't the player geno through just kris??? what does it MEAN to be able to be the angel? @ericvilas and i were talking about how this felt like noelle, susie, and berdly were the main characters, and we were just kinda...Also There, is there some sort of property that "main characters" have? the power to fundamentally change the state of the world from "zany adventure" to "fucked up horror", that we needed noelle to take advantage of? is that why we needed chara in undertale?

is "the angel" more than just a prophecy, but some sort of...RPG Game Role, that the genocidal player covets? why couldn't we fill that role in chapter one? why noelle and not susie? is it because ralsei wouldn't let us? or is noelle, daughter of the mayor, a secret Boss Monster? and the Angel has to be a human soul and a boss monster soul, like asriel and chara were?

why does NOELLE level up, but kris, the one who's soul we're in control of, doesn't?

.......

what if that's not kris' soul at all. what if we can't control them very well, and there's no Determination, because it's not a real human soul we're bonded to, just a crude facsimile created by gaster?

the similarities between being frozen solid and being turned into a statue as like, the only other thing we know of that "kills" a darkner is...i dont know what it means but its something.

wondering again if things *actually* happen when they're offscreen. did those things just happen because the player forced it through sheer force of will? Determination, if you will? and there wasn't any game mechanic to allow it, so reality itself just faded to a version where it was done?

oh, this video doesn't go all the way to the end, so i found another video that does.

DNAJSKFLNSADJKFNJKDSAL TOBY PLEASE I KNOW HES A SPAMBOT BUT YOU CANT PUT FUCKING "PIPIS" IN YOUR BAD ENDING HORROR VERSION OF THE STORY

i don't understand why us going geno lets a spambot take over. like, what about going on a murder spree that he was unrelated to gave him power?? it made sense in undertale for mettaton, undyne, and sans to become super powerful to fight us, but this is just like...Some Guy. he has nothing to do with anything.

HEY WHY THE HELL DOES THE SOUL TURN YELLOW???? is this echoing undertale's route because of multiverse shenanigans (ie, "time remembers what it used to look like" or some shit), when alphys gave us that power? because there is NO reason for us to have it here. there's no way the player would even know how to USE that mechanic without having first played undertale.

this feels like we somehow...modded the deltarune by doing geno. like it reskinned the mettaton ex fight, but like, thematically. like rather than reusing assets, it reused *concepts* from undertale and mixed them all up. but i don't know what that MEANS.

hey. hey. h e y. what does this mean dont fucking throw the undertale neutral ending at me what is HAPPENING. (also notice tho that "kris" is in the third person here. not "you." no idea what that means either)

again, it's like someone scrambled a lot of themes and disparate elements from undertale, but they make NO SENSE in this formation! it's like...a youtube poop of undertale. which is guess is appropriate for a spambot, but what am i supposed to DO with this toby????

?????????????????

oh god okay, so KRIS wanted their friends to save them from this fucking NIGHTMARE, but WE wanted noelle to come finish the job. i think that pretty firmly indicates it is indeed the PLAYER, and not KRIS who is evil here. god, poor kris. poor noelle. i am VERY suspicious now of whether closing the fountains is a good idea or not.

okay i already knew berdly fucking died at the end of this run, so this isn't a shock, but it IS startling to see an actual corpse. not turned to dust, not a statue, not frozen in place, actually just a dead body. that....i also don't know what that means.

god it feels so much worse actually to have destroyed the integrity of the game and then it just....keeps going. no one even knows the horrible things you did.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

okay so i think we're getting to a point that the Player is a genuine character, not literally us anymore. like, they have an agenda? they know somehow that noelle is important, even though we, the literal player didn't? it feels like this Entity may represent us in-fiction (like the mspa reader started out in homestuck), but in undertale the geno route was clearly like, "the version of us that dicked around just to see All The Content." this feels different. pre-meditated. they have a SPECIFIC plan, that somehow requires noelle, and jevil probably. hm. it feels like the player knows where the genocide route is going, and is doing it intentionally, even though we the audience obviously have no idea what will happen in chapters 3-5.

[dreamsy990]

okay, quick, Headcanon time!

Among the deltarune cast, who listens to what bands? Go!

ok hear me out i dont listen to specific bands and you can really probably tell a lot about my taste in music by this but ill try my best lol

kris likes lemon demon. their favorite song is probably touch tone telephone and i like to think that when they met spamton they were just like ‘ah shit touch tone telephone vibes’ lmao. not much more to it theyre a simple kid they hear lemon demon they happy

noelle gives me the vibes of the one person in the friend group who listens to music just. for fun. on its own. like not while doing something else she just sits there and listens like a maniac. she says she doesnt have a favorite artist or band but her whole spotify liked songs list full of paramore songs says otherwise. shes also probably partial to cavetown. probably also has a playlist just called ‘susie <3′ filled with the most wholesome sappy love songs youve ever heard. like pull out ‘something entirely new’ and ‘despair’ for this playlist because she is dying on the floor crying in the club w/ this one

if you ask susie she’ll say she listens to penelope scott which is. true. she probably says her favorite song is cigarette ahegao but its actually hammerhead

berdly likes lemon demon also but his favorite is cabinet man and kris and him will get into a fist fight over which is better one day just you wait. he also likes really shitty boybands and kris is the only one who knows and its very good blackmail material. his favorite song is bye bye bye but he is in denial. i think he listens to game osts in public tho. especially persona because the music is just that good. but he can and will fight you if you dare say the correct opinion that the persona 5 the animation intro is a fucking banger because ‘its not in the same style as the game and is a disgrace to the game’s legacy’ shut the fuck up berdly

ralsei probably likes lilina flores. good vibes all around. rises the moon is a vvv nice song to him but he also maybe likes devil town. i also think he listens to the hamilton soundtrack on the side and he knows all the words to my shot and one day he’ll just sing the whole song in front of the fun gang and theyll be horrified by his sheer power

queen likes bo burnham no elaboration necessary

spamton also likes bo burnham but has exponentially worse taste and his favorite song is repeat stuff.

jevil doesnt have a favorite artist or band but he does think his spotify playlist is top tier despite it being a disjointed mess with no theme or vibe and one second youll be listening to lofi zelda music and the next youre hit with fucking bye bye bYE AGAIN WHY DOES THAT SONG KEEP COMING UP-

sweet cap’n cakes get into fist fights over music frequently because nobody there has good taste according to everyone else there but if you asked them what specifically the others listen to none could give you a straight answer

seam doesnt have a specific favorite artist and they to whatever they feel lie. although they have been humming passing through for the past week because damn that songs catchy so. yeah.

rouxls likes pretty much any musical and his current favorite is 36 questions but it changes every 8 minutes. my man really be singing ‘ONE THING, I CAMETH OUTETH HERE FOR ONE THING, AND THAT ITTY-ETH BITTY-ETH ONE THING WAS TO FORGETETH ABOUTETH YOUUUUUUUUUU’. thats not a joke he edits the lyrics to fit him better.

lancer likes splat noises

[dodo-begone]

Loyal here, and back from the dead! Had some health issues and family drama, but I should be completely back now! I hope this all makes sense, I had to take Benadryl so I’m kinda out of it at the moment.

——

For those who have been interested in the idea of a reader from Undertale, I’m so happy! Anon who went into detail with how y/n might be forced into bringing out their soul? *chefs kiss* I love it. And with Ranboo or Techno doing it on accident because of the voice(s)? Then, when they snap out of it and see y/n begging this ‘Frisk’ person for mercy? AAAAAAA YES P L E A S E. I live for the angst and that concept quenched my thirst for it. When it comes to the resets, I think that most of what happened during them felt like dejavú to y/n when going through the Underground, making them give reactions similar to the monsters who seem to recall certain things when you play the game again. However, when it comes to the genocide route, I feel like they don’t remember anything. At least...not until they’re put under extreme stress, panic, trauma, etc., or if they’re in an intense life or death situation. Only then would they remember. But it’s messy when they do. They get thrown into a memory and basically have a mental breakdown. Whether they remember it once they calm down or not...? Up to you. Anyway, here’s some of my own ideas based off all this!

- In Ranboo’s case, I feel like he’d know who Frisk is and quite a bit about y/n’s world. He just seems like the type of person you could tell anything to and he’d listen. Because of this factor, I can see y/n having either already shown him their SOUL, or having planned to in the near future. He’d recognize the situation��a panic attack—and do everything in his power to calm y/n down. He isn’t the type to pry, so he wouldn’t mention the reader’s SOUL unless it seemed to be in really bad condition. He’d rather y/n come to him and open up on their own.

- It’s a cry fest. They’re both tearing up and telling the other not to cry. Y/n knows it wasn’t Ranboo’s fault and doesn’t want him hurting himself over it, especially because his tears hurt him. They forgive him, it’s okay. Ranboo feels incredibly guilty for what he’s done. And seeing them crying over what he did and the trauma he accidentally brought onto them? He’s crushed. You know those sappy movies where the main characters are comforting each other, crying but letting out choked/hiccuping laughter? Not because they find the situation funny, but because they both react the same way and just want what’s best for each other and it’s all around adorable? That’s them.

- But, if it’s yandere Ranboo? He’d probably see this as proof that y/n is far too fragile for this world. Clearly, they need someone to protect them. He’d most certainly feel guilty about what he’d done, but he may play it up a bit to get as much attention/sympathy/whatever from them.

- For Techno, unless he was there when y/n initially woke up in the SMP, I don’t think he’d believe them. So he probably doesn’t know shit (or, he at least knows the basics), unless he found out from someone else. That’s just my opinion tho. Either way, I believe he’d think it’s all bullshit. However, he wouldn’t force an encounter to prove his point. He has at least some decency. No he doesn’t. I feel like he’d remind y/n of just how hostile monsters Underground were in the beginning, so they’d be weary around him. (I’m doing flat out yandere for him from now on bc that’s all I can think of rn)

- If he doesn’t know who Frisk is, I see him being slightly insulted that they think of some random stranger—as far as he’s aware—who clearly hurt them. He’d never do that! He—oh shit, he kinda sorta did do that...

- If he does know who Frisk is and is romantically interested in y/n, he’d probably be peeved that they’re basically referring to him as their sibling. He gets that they’re going through a traumatic episode but c’mon! He’d end up pushing the thought aside to help them. However, he may be slightly petty for the next few days.

- Keeping on the romantic yandere side, I see him possibly making the situation worse even if it isn’t his intention to. Whether he’s told by y/n or someone else, he at least knows what their SOUL is and what it stands for (even if he didn’t believe it till now). So here’s his little darling, all curled up and clutching their SOUL to their chest like it’s their lifeline. Oh, wait, it is. Sure, he’s surprised that it’s real, but any shock he would’ve felt is replaced by awe and he can’t help but notice how mesmerizing it is. So, he forcefully gently pulls their arms away from their chest, cooing at them and saying that everything’s fine, and removes their hands from the entity so he can get a better look at it. He watches as the (color) heart bobs slightly up and down, and can’t help but be surprised by how warm it feels against the palms of his calloused hands when he cups it. Any whimpers and pleas from y/n begging for their soul to be returned are blocked out. All he can focus on is the SOUL in front of him, the very culmination of their being, and how small it is. This little thing, that takes damage whenever their body does, that physically appears whenever they are in a fight, is what keeps them alive? That won’t do. Not at all. This land is far too dangerous for them! They better get used to his cabin, for as far as Techno’s concerned, it’s their new world home.

——

And Tommy forcing them into an encounter because he thinks it’s all bullshit? That would definitely happen. He’d feel so guilty once he sees the look of betrayal in y/n’s eyes and the disappointment that shows on the faces of anyone who had seen the forced encounter. As if they too weren’t curious. He noticed that no one stopped him. Let’s be honest. Most would be too curious to interfere.

- Y/n probably falls to their knees, cupping their SOUL in the palms of their hands. They know that Tommy wouldn’t actually hurt them, but they can’t help but feel as though their boundaries have been pushed aside, as though one of their only requests meant nothing to everyone. Tears slip and it takes watching the glowing heart, being lost in their own world as they mentally count every rhythmic bob to ground them. Once their breathing calms and their sobs turn into hushed whimpers, they push their SOUL back into their chest and stare at the ground, unsure of what to do next.

- Tommy definitely acts a hundred times more mature in the following moments. Depending on when in the DSMP timeline this occurs, he’d either be confident—and rightfully so—in his ability to help someone during a panic attack, or be hesitant, unsure of what to do, fumbling with his words and motions, but trying his damn hardest to help nonetheless. Either way, I see y/n appreciating it. Y/n literally come from a world where they would befriend creatures ten seconds after they genuinely tried to kill them and their sibling. I don’t see them holding a grudge. They’d most likely be slightly weary in the following twenty to thirty minutes, but get over it. After all, they’ve always chosen MERCY. Can’t say the same for their sibling, though. Tommy’s extra cautious about what he says or does around them after that.

- I feel like after a few weeks or months, y/n may bond enough with Tommy to want to show how much they trust him by bringing out their SOUL. Especially if they’re there through all the hell that Tommy goes through story-wise. To them, it’d probably be their way of telling him that they trust him with their life, and that they’ll always be on his side.

- Yandere or not, he does everything in his power to protect y/n if they remain weary of encounters. He’ll either find a way to avoid a fight, not wanting to hurt y/n by doing anything that would make him gain this supposed LOVE that comes from their world, or he’d do enough damage to allow them to escape without anyone or anything dying.

- If y/n discovers that they’re able to befriend the monsters of this world like they could their own, regular Tommy would respect that. He may be a bit antsy if the encounter drags on or if y/n sustains some damage, but he knows that they know what they’re doing. As previously mentioned, he’ll get involved if things go south, but he won’t kill anything. At least, not in front of them. Gotta get bones, blaze powder, and spider eyes somehow. But even then, he does it sparingly out of respect for y/n’s wishes. That, or he’ll have someone else get materials for him.

- Yandere Tommy wouldn’t risk shit. You can’t just talk to mobs, you idiot! You’ll die if you do that! And you’ve only got one life! He’d threaten to kill mobs right in front of y/n if it’d get them to stop trying to play house with disgusting monsters. That, or he may force y/n into killing. Their HP, AT, and DF increase when their LOVE increases, right? So they have to if they want to survive!

——

I agree with the anon that Dream and Vilbur would definitely force y/n into an encounter. Yandere or not. If yandere, they’d probably become obsessed with the concept of SOULS and constantly pressure them into bringing it out. They use it as a nightlight JKJKJK.

- Ya know how in Deltarune, Kris yeets their SOUL into a cage? Well, imagine that, but it’s forcefully taken by Dream. He’d put it in a glass container and show it off like some damn trophy. That, or he hides it away where no one can find it. Vilbur would do the same but keep the SOUL on his person at all times. That way no one forgets who y/n belongs to. To him, it’d show power and ownership. Much to his pleasure and mostly everyone else’s disgust.

- I’d also add Schlatt to the list of people that force an encounter, as well as yandere Sam. Schlatt would pull it out in front of everyone to show how much power he can hold ever someone, or, to use as a shield when he thinks Pogtopia will attack. They wouldn’t want to hurt an innocent person who’s got a little sibling waiting for them at home, would they? With Sam, he’d do it to make sure that y/n is in perfect health. Can’t risk there being any cracks or the SOUL being dim! Following Tommy’s death and revival, he’d probably do the same as Vilbur, keeping their SOUL with him and never letting it out of his sight. However, instead of doing it out of a show of power like Vilbur, it’s out of paranoia. He can’t lose you too. He has to know that you’re okay!

——

For some fluff, here’s who I think y/n would eventually trust enough to show their SOUL:

- Tommy (as mentioned earlier)

- Ranboo (also mentioned earlier)

- Tubbo (he reminds them too much of Asriel to not trust him with their SOUL)

- Captain Puffy (same as Tubbo, but for Toriel)

- Ghostbur (he’s just so nice!! How could they not? Besides, he sometimes reminds them of Napstablook! They probably call Ghostbur Blooky a lot on accident and the ghost just learns to roll with it LOL)

- Karl! (After hearing about this person who comes from a world with timelines and basically time travel, he can’t help but be interested. He’s losing so much, he needs someone who might possibly understand. They both share a similar hatred towards the concept of time travel/resets and the amount of pressure it puts on a person’s shoulders. That, and the lack of memories, even if they‘be both been effected by this in different ways)

- Bad (before he’s corrupted by the egg, of course. He’s so sweet omg. Besides, his personality gives me Toriel vibes)

I personally don’t see them trusting Philza enough, no matter how much he reminds them of Asgore. Then again, the King of Monsters is the one who basically put a bounty on their SOUL. He also refused their MERCY and forced them to FIGHT. Besides, when they hear from others—or see it for themself—that Philza kills his own son? I don’t think they’d ever forgive that. No matter what happens. You should refuse death, because there’s always another option. They’d know first hand, after all. With having their SOUL broken in half and pieced back together thanks to their own sheer will to live. To protect their sibling and save their friends. The battle against Asriel taught them so much, and they’d never take life for granted again thanks to it. “Asgore, though I may not stand by his methods of taking the SOULS of innocents—children, no less—I understand why he did it. He lost both of his children, his pride and joy, at the hands of humans. The real monsters of this w—of my world. He would have given anything to get them back. And you, you just throw your son’s life away? How could you?! Do you know how many beings, Monsters and humans alike, would sacrifice everything just to see their loved ones one more time? To take their place? To save them from a brutal death by the hands of those who want your SOULS? To see their small body covered in blood and burns or spears. Only for their death to have been meaningless, for their SOUL had shattered before it could be collected and used? When it should have been you, their big sibling, to take their place?” Yeah... they’ve definitely got some issues they need to deal with LOL. I personally headcanon that even if Frisk wasn’t able to reset, their soul would have been useless when it came to breaking the barrier because that thing shattered into PIECES. What would the monsters do? Use gorilla glue and hope the damn thing stays together?

——

Imagine how different characters, Yandere or not, would react to y/n’s soul shattering. Especially if it’s because y/n took a hit for them.

ALRIGHT THATS IT AND IM GOING TO SLEEP LOL

Omg that’s so much. It’s all so fucking good but I am just overwhelmed by how much is here because I want to answer it all but,,,

IT’S SO GOOF NIGHTLIGHT SOUL JANSJS PLEASE HAHA that’s just hilarious.

Also putting the soul in cages? YES THAT’S SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT TO BRING UP!!! Vilbur wanting to own while Sam wants to protect. Both lead to a similar end. An emotionless reader with no care for themselves or others. Just a rogue being. A zombie, I’d you will. But not dumb. Oh not dumb at all.

Also putting the soul in a jar??? I ca see DreamXD doing the same, if not similar. Ooo maybe he wears their souls on him? Trapping it in a piece of jewelry to display your “loyalty” and “love” to him.

I’m sorry I’m just not feelin too good.

[grumpymacaron]

T, U, E & F 💖

hi rin!!!! thank u so much for the ask ^^

also, shoutout to the anon who also asked for e!!! i did see ur ask; i hope u see this cause i will be answering it here~

e - an idol you think would be easy to get along with?

GOOD QUESTION i've never really thought about it; especially since i don't really watch variety stuff so i'm not very good at gauging idol's personalities and such

after seeing aespa in person recently, i do feel like i'd have a fun time hanging with ningning; our birthdays are pretty close, and we have quite a number of matching astrology signs (HAHAHAHA), but even setting that aside, i've seen the occasional clip of her being dorky and i would def subscribe to her hijinks, hehe

f - the first group you loved?

ooooo it really depends on whether this counts for my first group ever or the first group i stanned when i started seriously following kpop... might as well give u both answers tho, haha!

so the first group i ever knew about and liked EVER was snsd, ofc gotta start with the legends, amirite? this was wayyyy back when i was like six or so and i stumbled upon gee and girls' generation on youtube (my parents were kind of insane to let me browse the web back then but at least i turned out okay? ish?). i kept up w their title tracks from that point on, but

the first group i was super serious about was exo. which was a struggle. dunno why i did it. to make matters worse, i was a kris wu and tao stan. 💀. needless to say i don't feel the same way i did at twelve...

t - your favorite hidden talent an idol has shown?

hmmm this one is also hard for the same reasons i gave in e, but i think the one talent i can really remember is jongho from ateez and his fruits FJDKSLFJSDKLFDS

i'm very envious of him, as someone with small hands that can't even grip an apple that well, much less rip one in half...

u - the most unusual group?

imo i have yet to see another group bring what f(x) brought to the kpop industry; both in member formation, visual concepts, and music variety. the way they adapted to fit each release perfectly, and then some... it really gets me, man.

some of their fashion was super unusual back in the day (especially in their rookie era), but i think it says so much that we're seeing newer groups replicate their looks (a prime example would be krystal's hair in nu abo, shown below!!!:)

even years after their hiatus started, i have yet to see a group that hits for me the way f(x) does. i am always praying and praying for a spiritual successor, tho; i would say the closest group i've seen to getting it is billlie, but i'll have to see how they grow and evolve to be really sure.

[eldragon-x]

two faves and a newbie: darius, raine and kris :0?

Darius

Sexuality Headcanon: ace

Gender Headcanon: demiguy

A ship I have with said character: None

A BROTP I have with said character: I want to say Eberwolf because that's his canon bestie but I'm almost more invested in the potential between him and Raine that sadly gets pretty much no exploration, and there's already so little with Eber too. But as it stands, I'll just say Eberwolf because we did get a scene in King's Tide that shows a deeper part of their relationship than the surface-level teasing that's usually shown and they have some good potential too.

A NOTP I have with said character: with Alador or Adrian, tho I'd say the ship with Adrian is worse but I dislike both of them and the one with Alador is the most popular Darius ship so it gets a dishonorable mention here

A random headcanon: His VA recently said that Darius would have a hawk Palisman and I've been obsessed with that since so I like to think he adopts a hawk Palisman from Bat Queen once things have settled down. Said hawk Palisman's previous witch died in an incident and since then they've had the ambition to protect people. Darius' own desire to do what's best for others causes the two of them to bond.

General Opinion over said character: The Owl House would be a better show if we got a whole episode dedicated to him, and between him, Raine, and Hunter he's the one character out of my current top favourites who I am fully confident will have his story end in a satisfying way and I think that about sums it up.

Additional thing that I don't know where else to put but want to bring up: I'd honestly rather have him end up as Hunter's mentor rather than his parental figure both beause I love the idea of the dynamic between Darius and the previous Golden Guard, and Hunter and Darius paralelling like that but also because I don't see Dadrius realistically happen even if it's a nice concept. Additionally, I'm just tired of so much Darius-related fan content revolving around Hunter but that just adds to it.

Raine

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian

Gender Headcanon: they're canonically nonbinary and I don't have any specific hc on that

A ship I have with said character: Eeerugh none really. I mean there's Raeda but that's just mostly on the basis on it already being canon and I wrote this whole post about why I think Raine's story revolves a bit too much mostly around their dynamic with Eda but anyway,

A BROTP I have with said character: I believe in Raine and Darius highschool besties to enemies to maybe friends again but not really due to unfortunate circumstances

A NOTP I have with said character: I haven't seen any bad ships with them

A random headcanon: They're prone to overworking themselves and the BATs have to remind them to take care of themself and keep an eye on the time. Their sleep schedule is a mess.

General Opinion over said character: I love their personality, the fact that they use music-magic immediately put my attention towards them, overall very cool character but I just really wish their untouched potential wasn't untouched. Season three show me the BATs dynamic and how working towards overthrowing an emperor for most of their life has messed Raine up. They were willing to sacrifice their life, you cannot tell me they were healthy to themselves.

Kris

Sexuality Headcanon: aroace or bi

Gender Headcanon: canon nonbinary, specifically headcanon them as bigender

A ship I have with said character: none

A BROTP I have with said character: Their friendship with Susie is so good, I think about that scene where she and Ralsei try to comfort Kris after fighting Spamton everyday.

A NOTP I have with said character: with Ralsei

A random headcanon: I think Kris feels like an outsider not just as the only human in their hometown, but even among other humans. The bit where they see a picture of humans in a book and react by quickly closing it reads to me as discomfort and considering the only other two human characters in utdr ended up being adopted by Toriel and have an implied history of abuse, I think it's the same case with Kris. Anyway, they finally found a sense of belonging outside their family since the events of the game.

General Opinion over said character: Really enjoy how we always keep getting bits of Kris' personality and feelings even as the player has literal control over them, far more than we've seen of Frisk, and I'm looking forward to how that'll play out.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

AIGHT Well then! Heres some info dumping about a fictional character!

I finally have a set idea for her personality, but I am bad at describing those, but I do know she's possibly desperate for company but at the same time feels she doesn't deserve it because of the past incident that made her go into her hiding, though here are some things that I feels possibly work-

Before the incident - she was probably quite nice, but rash, maybe even inspiring to others is what I have for now

After the incident - Twitchy and nervous, hates being alone but at the same time trusts no one, became increasingly touch starved over time so probably melts at any physical affection like head pats or hugs etc.- Kris most likely has to deal with her following them around like a lost puppy cuz after they fight her possibly only one she really trusts now

And her connection to Gaster! I personally wanna go with the theory of "Gaster could mean well but accidentally causes insanity" for now, so like he literally just sees a very much alone person locking herself up in like some abandoned underground performing area and just keeps her company as someone to talk at for maybe some months and maybe even tries to promise to "help spread her wings again" told her some stuff to see if that'd help, she probably just thought he was a lunatic abit but still the only company she's ever had so tries to believe him, but one day he just never shows up, and after waiting for him to return for maybe days, she gives up hope on seeing her only friend again, and Poly starts becoming clingy after that towards any friend people seems probable-

And some smaller fun facts -

Her legs change colors depending on her mood, ex. white is terrified, red if angry, blue if sad, etc etc.

Stretchy arms

Her connection with my addisona, Purple, is probably something like Poly used to live in the cyber world before going missing at random. And during that time, she had made a deal with an Addison who was decently good at getting sales and became friends over time.

She would probably get along with Jevil and Spamton decently, Spamton probably alarms her with the possible ad glitch things, and Jevil possibly confuses her, but it could be worse

And as a last thing- I tried making her short but like the idea of her stretching out herself to be taller is too great for me to refuse, all scrunched up she's probably short[?] tho-

- Salt Anon (sorry if that's unreadable and/or confusing I'm bad at typing correctly,- ;v;)

I like her!

[flowercrown-bard]

Ah no! *sends hugs* okay okay, this is very oddly specific, but in one of your Birds Still Sing chapters, I think the one where Kris is introduced, you mentioned a snowstorm?? 👀👀 sounds like a story lol. There were also mentions of monster encounters where Jaskier got in the way. No pressure if neither of those inspire you though haha.

I – Wha - How??? I bow down before your ability to not only notice but also remember such small details. And thank you for that lovely prompt!

Content warning: pure angst, hypothermia, animal death (very heavily implied, Roach gets left behind in the storm), angst, hypothermia, mention of the possibility of losing fingers due to the cold, minor references to Birds Still Sing that makes the ending really angsty. Otherwise the ending is only vaguely happy, but not really? No major character death though

word count: about 2.4k

also no need to read the other fic to understand this

No need to read the other fic tho

It wasn’t the first time Jaskier was accompanying Geralt to Kaer Morhen.

If it were, then maybe Geralt would have been more careful – too worried about whether or not this breakable human would be able to make it up the mountain.

That first time, Geralt’s eyes had not once stopped to scan his surroundings, to search for threats or anything that could make this more uncomfortable for Jaskier than was unavoidable. If Jaskier got hurt or just realised how hard the climb was, he would never want to go with Geralt again. And though it had taken Geralt years to offer Jaskier to stay with him for the winter, now that he had finally build up the courage to do so and Jaskier had agreed with shining eyes, he couldn’t bear the thought of getting rejected in the years to come.

So he had made sure to do everything in his power to prevent that. Be it carefully rationing their supplies so they would last, always making sure any wild animals were well without reach or soothing Jaskier’s irrational worries about how his brothers would react to meeting him, Geralt had been determined to do it all.

This time though, he was careless.

Jaskier didn’t need soothing, he was far too giddy about seeing his other friends again and Geralt’s chest was glowing at hearing Jaskier refer to the other witchers as such.

Despite the hard climb, Jaskier’s cheeks were flushed from more than the cold and exertion and his eyes were full of excitement.

And Geralt - stupid and careless and too easily distracted by his friend’s happiness – was too busy staring at Jaskier to look at the sky as he should have – as he had done every year before.

Because that was the thing about snowstorms. They told you they were coming, if only you knew how to listen. The animals hiding in their caves were telling any travellers that they too should take cover. The fog making it harder to see was telling them to stop, to go no further. The sharp winds would try to push them away, urging them into safer spots. The nervous neighing and stomping of his horse told him that there was danger on the horizon.

Geralt knew all those things. A witcher who didn’t know how to feel a storm approaching was a dead witcher.

And yet, here Geralt was, listening to his friend’s cheerful ramblings and being enraptured by his smiles instead of listening to what nature was trying to tell him.

Occasional brushes of Jaskier’s hands against his and Jaskier’s excitement urged him to go forward, to go as far as they could today instead of taking breaks, so that they would be able to get to their family faster.

If they had taken a break, if it had been the first time making it up the mountain together, if Geralt hadn’t been so foolishly distracted by a pretty smile, he wouldn’t have let himself get lulled into this false sense of security that only shattered when it was already too late.

Towering clouds darkened the sky and the harsh wind teared at their clothing, making it near impossible to go forwards.

Out of the corner of his eye, Geralt saw Jaskier stumble, pushed over by the storm.

Geralt’s hand shot out and grabbed him.

“Jaskier!” He shouted over the roaring of the storm. “Get behind Roach!”

There was no way to tell if Jaskier had understood him, whether his eyes were narrowed because of his confusion of to shield his eyes as best he could from the hale and snow pricking him like a million sharp needles.

Geralt firmly pushed Jaskier, until he stood between Geralt and Roach, praying that it would be enough to shield him from the worst of the wind until they found shelter.

They pressed on, waging war against the storm, fighting a battle they could not hope to win.

For a blissful moment, a memory flickered through Geralt’s mind. A winter spent together in Oxenfurt, huddled together and laughing, all because Geralt had been too slow to reach the mountain in time before it was snowed in. Because he had known risking the climb when the snow had already fallen meant a sure death.

He ground his teeth and urged Jaskier on. They had to get through this. The keep wasn’t far.

They just had to make it through the storm and they would be safe.

They could make it.

They would –

A crack above them cut through the storm. A shrill neighing.

Geralt whirled around just in time to see what Roach had noticed before him; A branch above them was dangerously close to being torn off the tree by the storm.

Roach threw her head back, threatening to tear the reins out of Geralt’s hand. Geralt clenched his jaw and gripped the reins tighter, his free hand trying to form Axii, but his hands were so cold and his fingers wouldn’t obey him.

“Geralt!”

Jaskier’s cry came just in time. Geralt looked up, saw the branch whirl through the air, straight towards them.

Roach was still panicking and Jaskier clung to his cloak as if Geralt weren’t the reason they were in danger, both frozen to their spots, both unable to save themselves.

He had only a split second to make his decision.

It wasn’t much of a choice.

He grabbed Jaskier by the scruff and yanked him to the side, letting go of the reins.

“Geralt?”

Jaskier’s terrified shout wasn’t enough to drown out Roach’s neighing and the thunk of a harsh impact before the neighing cut off abruptly.

“Don’t look,” Geralt said harshly and tugged Jaskier forwards, pulling him closer to himself. “Don’t look. Just keep moving.”

Despite his own words Geralt looked. The snow blurred his vision, making it impossible to see what had happened to Roach. He wasn’t sure if that made it worse.

The only consolation was when he felt Jaskier nodding against him, though shivers seized him and he kept stumbling over his own feet.

Geralt put part of his cloak over Jaskier’s shoulder.

It wasn’t enough.

Jaskier’s skin felt like ice pressed against him. It was a miracle Jaskier was even still standing.

Still, Geralt grit his teeth and half dragged Jaskier onwards until finally, finally he saw a shadow through the snow. The entrance to a cave.

“We’re safe, Jaskier,” he said, his words leaving him in pants. “You’re safe. Just a little bit further. Just a few more steps.”

As soon as they entered the cave and the wind stopped cutting into their skin like blades, Jaskier’s knees gave way. Geralt barely manages to hold him tightly enough to guide him to the ground gently instead of letting him hit it with full force.

He couldn’t say the same about himself. His knees hit the ground with a sharp sting, but he didn’t pay it any attention. He needed to make sure that Jaskier was alright.

As Geralt frantically touched his hands to Jaskier’s face, he could feel Jaskier’s eyes following his every movement, sluggish but thankfully still conscious.

Geralt let out a shuddering breath.

“You’re going to be alright. You hear me, Jaskier? I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Jaskier’s lips formed words, but no sound came out safe for the chattering of his teeth and the quick breathing. Eventually, his lips just stretched into a hint of a smile that shattered Geralt’s heart.

His mind was racing, thoughts never stopping for long enough to grasp them, except for the one truth that was burned into Geralt’s very being; Jaskier couldn’t die, he needed to keep him safe.

Geralt’s hands trembled and every lungful of air he sucked in stung in his chest, but he pushed it aside. Geralt didn’t have the luxury of giving in. If Geralt caved, Jaskier would be alone, there would be no one here to watch over him, to make sure he survived.

With the strength of a hundred men, Geralt peeled Jaskier out if his clothes. It felt like it took forever. Every movement however gentle jostled Jaskier and made him moan in pain. Geralt tried – he tried to be gentle, but his hands kept failing him and Jaskier kept aching. He cradled Jaskier’s head and lifted him up to get his cloak and jacket off. With every move he made to get Jaskier’s soaked boots and trousers off of him, he risked a glance at Jaskier’s face to see if it pained him. He thanked all the gods he never believed in that at least the inner layer of Jaskier’s clothes had remained dry.

When he had finally managed to get Jaskier out of his wet clothes he felt like he had done an impossible feat. All strength threatened to leave him and an overwhelming exhaustion seeped into his bones, daring him to close his eyes and rest and look after Jaskier another time –

No.

With a harsh shake of his head he pushed himself up, taking the wet clothes and laying them out on the ground at the far end of the cave and started a fire with a quick burst of Igni next to them.

It took far too long for the few pieces of wood that someone else must have left here before to catch fire. But he needed to do this. Jaskier would need warm and dry clothes when the storm was over. When they could continue their way to Kaer Morhen. When Jaskier had survived this. If –

A soft whimper brought him back to Jaskier’s side in a flash.

For a moment, Geralt’s hands hovered helplessly over Jaskier’s trembling body, before shrugging off his own wet closed and lay down next to Jaskier.

He wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around Jaskier without hurting him – he felt so small. Why did Jaskier feel so small and breakable? – and pulled him close until their bodies were pressed together.

Jaskier’s cold fingers came to rest on Geralt’s chest and he was overcome with the overwhelming urge to take them into his own hands, blow hot breath against them and rub them until the feeling returned. Jaskier couldn’t lose his fingers, he needed them; to play, to write, to hold Geralt’s hand when no one else would even look at him, to show him he was there to care for Geralt as Geralt should have cared for him instead of leading him right into a snowstorm.

And yet he knew he wouldn’t be able to heat up Jaskier’s hands, not if he didn’t want to risk Jaskier going into shock.

All he could do was press himself closer against Jaskier, keeping the wind away, giving him heat, making sure he knew he wasn’t alone just in case Jaskier wasn’t going to – Geralt couldn’t finish that thought.

He just shut his eyes tightly. Whenever a violent tremble wrecked Jaskier’s body, Geralt ran his hand up and down his back and started whispering in his ear.

“You are going to be warm again. In Kaer Morhen you can have all the blankets and sit in front of the fire place.” They would get there. They had to.

“When we get out of here you can have a hot bath. That’ll be nice, don’t you think?” Not nearly as nice and warming as one of Jaskier’s smiles.

“Remember the sun? Remember how warm it feels on your skin?” Not nearly as warm as Jaskier’s hand felt in his when he reached for him to show him something beautiful he had found.

He clung to these thoughts, to how he would see Jaskier smile and feel his warm hand in his again.

He didn’t know how long it took until the howling of the wind finally quieted down enough that he could hear Jaskier’s heartbeat again, beating in his chest like a hummingbird’s wings and yet so faint, so frail.

Until it slowed to its familiar rhythm and grew stronger again at last.

“Geralt?”

The voice was quiet and raspy, but it was the most beautiful sound Geralt had ever heard.

Geralt let out a sharp breath that could have been a sob if he had had the strength for one and buried his face into the crook of Jaskier’s neck. His hands wandered to Jaskier’s head and cradled it, running his fingers through Jaskier’s hair.

“You are safe,” He whispered over and over. He didn’t care that the words tumbled out of his mouth like water rushing into a river after the ice had thawed. “You are safe.”

“Of course I am.” Gentle hands found Geralt’s face and ghosted over his cheeks. “I am with you.”

Though the words twisted his stomach into a painful knot, Geralt’s lips tugged into a brittle smile as he pressed them against the top of Jaskier’s head, silently vowing to make the words a truth.

Later, when Jaskier was safe to be on his own for a bit, wrapped in his fire-warmed clothes, Geralt would go out there again in search for Roach and all they had left with her; his swords, the supplies, Jaskier’s lute.

When he came back to Jaskier he would thaw the snow and make a soup, guiding Jaskier’s hand holding the spoon while holding his head upright until Jaskier would be strong enough to leave the cave.

Jaskier might try to walk or Geralt might start carrying him from the very beginning, if only so he could feel Jaskier close, feel his warmth and his steady heart that was no longer fluttering like a bird dreading to fall.

However long it would take them, they would make it to Kaer Morhen, where they would be surrounded by warm laughter, embraces and words from a family that wouldn’t hesitate even a moment to help Jaskier get back enough strength to return their smiles in earnest.

And when they would finally sit together again and Jaskier would laugh and sing and joke with his brothers as if he had never been in danger of never doing any of that again, Geralt would renew his promise. To do anything in his power to never let it get this far again that he would have to hold Jaskier in his arms, fearing for his life with only his heartbeat to cling to.

[izzielizzie]

I just wondering if you could do a headcanon based on Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift, cuz im sorta in love with that song but i dont mind who. Thx so much, u dont have to tho ❤

Yes! Champagne Problems is my absolute favorite song on the album along with Tis The Damn Season so I’m very excited! This is a Keely/Luis fic, which I've never done so I’m confused too don’t worry, but it does make sense I assure you. Also, there are ticket men and balls so um,,, have fun deciding what time period this is in because I don’t know. Enjoy!! Also there are notes at the end.

You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt

”Are you sure you want the three am train?” the ticket man asked. No, Luis was not sure and he had half a mind to go back to Keely’s house as fast as he could, but he didn’t have that choice anymore. 

”Yes, thank you.” Luis and the man exchanged money and tickets. 

”Well, have a good night then,” the man said. 

”Doubtful,” Luis muttered as he sat on a bench to wait for the train.

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse

Luis ran his hand over the ring box in his pocket as he waited in the silence. It was strange, to be able to hear his own thoughts when an hour ago he was surrounded by so many people he could hardly hear Keely’s voice. 

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

His hand still tingled, where hers used to be. He could still feel the way her fingers slid along his palms for the last time as she spun away from him. 

Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing

Luis could still feel the snow on his coat and on the knee of his best pants. He could feel the biting cold on his cheeks as he watched her blubber apologies he couldn’t hear. 

Champagne problems

He leaned against the railing of the balcony as he watched her drown cup after cup of the champagne he knew her family always bought.

Your mom's ring in your pocket

The box he had warmed in his palms and opened to the cold felt heavy in his hands. The ring he had seen glint on his mother’s finger every day until it was too heavy for her  to bear was too painful to look at. He wanted to see it glint again, but the snow was in the way. 

My picture in your wallet

Luis pulled out his wallet to see how much money he had, and if there was enough for the train when he saw the picture he always looked at: Keely, his mother, and himself laughing at his high school graduation. It was the last time his mother left the house.

Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems

Luis felt his heart shatter as Keely smashed the top of the next bottle in the hall downstairs.

You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in

Luis’s brothers made a beeline for him when he slowly walked down the stairs, his money where Keely’s hand should have been.

”Did she say yes?” Manny asked.

Luis didn’t answer. The look on his face was answer enough.

Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating

Luis’s sister-in-law came towards them with a glass of wine in her hand. 

“Did she say yes?”

Manny shook his head at his wife.

She dropped her glass, the red wine splashing onto her dress. 

Dom Perignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded

Cooper handed Luis the bottle of wine Luis had brought earlier that afternoon when he entered the kitchen.

“Are we celebrating?” Nate asked.

Luis shook his head. 

Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems

Vanessa Merriman, Luis’s friend from childhood laughed a short humorless laugh as she pulled herself up onto the counter, her ball gown fluffed to one side.

”It’d call it too much wine if you asked me.”

”I’m sorry Luis,” Bronwyn added, pressing a gloved hand against his arm. He shook it off. 

You had a speech, you're speechless

He had a speech planned. He had wanted to thank his friends for supporting him. For reminding him how much his relationship with Keely had helped him grow as a person. 

Love slipped beyond your reaches

“I loved her,” was all he could say. Olivia, Vanessa, and Bronwyn pulled him into a hug, their arms around him as his shoulders shook and the bottle slipped out of his hands, staining his shoes and the hems of their dresses. 

And I couldn't give a reason

”Did she tell you why?” Kris asked.

Luis shook his head.

Champagne problems

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Vanessa miming drinking to Kris, who nodded with pursed lips. 

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

Luis could see her new car through the window of the kitchen. He could see the handle he pulled on to open the door for her whenever they went for drives. It was the only thing not covered in snow.

November flush and your flannel cure

Keely had been shivering the first time they exited that car five weeks ago. They were going to their old dorm for the last time with their friends to visit his younger brother. Without a second thought, he pulled off his flannel jacket and wrapped it around Keely’s arms. 

He didn’t have to think about much in their relationship. 

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

Luis could still remember the day Vanessa dared them to a game of soccer in the halls when they all woke up with major hangovers. “What a mad house,” he had commented as everyone laughed.

I made a joke "well, it's made for me" how

The joke was a small one that they had all found amusing and then forgot about, until now.

“She really was mad huh?” Olivia asked.

“I guess.”

Evergreen, our group of friends

“She’s messed up everything,” Vanessa added. 

Don't think we'll say that word again

“We won’t be us without Keely,” Bronwyn agreed as she wrapped her arms around Nate, who was leaning against the stove.

Luis didn’t question how they all agreed to drop Keely from their group. It seemed natural.

And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through

“Oh, sorry.” Everyone turned to look at Keely in her black dress and gloves. 

“What do you want?” Olivia asked.

Keely’s eyes darkened. “This is my house. And I’m getting the Christmas decorations.”

They watched as Keely walked through the kitchen to the door that concealed the basement steps. Decorations felt odd for a time like this. 

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go

Luis stood and watched as she disappeared down the steps. 

Sometimes you just don't know the answer Till someone's on their knees and asks you

“God, she wasted an eight year relationship,” Vanessa said, shaking her head.

Eight years. Luis didn’t know how badly he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her until she refused to.

"She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head", they said

His friends’ words were still in his head as he sat in the train station. 

“She’s fucked up Luis, it’s not your fault.”

“There’s nothing you can do when someone like that makes up their mind.”

But you'll find the real thing instead

“Hello. May I sit with you?” Luis looked up to see a girl with a beautiful white gown and a green coat and cap standing in front of him. He could see her shining amber eyes, even though it was dark in the station.

“Do I know you?” Luis asked.

The girl smiled and nodded. “I left the same party as you. Keely’s? I’m Bronwyn’s younger sister.”

Luis knew he recognized the voice. “Maeve?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you here?”

“I needed to go home, and Bronwyn wasn’t ready yet. I’m not fond of Christmas parties.”

“Neither am I,” Luis said. Maeve laughed and fiddled with the skirt of her dress. It really was the prettiest dress Luis had ever seen. 

“May I sit?”

“Of course.”

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

They sat and laughed for hours as they waited for the train, and Luis walked her home in the snow. Her shoes were soaked through so he carried her the last few blocks, and he fell in love as she laughed, her eyes shining. 

And hold your hand while dancing

A year later, she wore the same gown as she had at the train station as they danced in her ballroom with the rest of their friends. After a while they found their way to her balcony overlooking her yard. 

Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems

“Want a drink?”

“No thank you, Luis.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“No, I’ll come with.”

Your mom's ring in your pocket

He never got the wine though, because once they were in the middle of the ballroom, he was kneeling in front of her with his mother’s ring on her finger. 

Her picture in your wallet

It might have been Vanessa who took the picture. Or maybe Cooper. They were never sure, but one copy was in his wallet and one was in her locket with their children until the day they died. 

And you won't remember all my Champagne problems

They were toasted with glasses of champagne, and for the first time he wasn’t hurt by the sight. Tonight was a night for celebration. Not for heartache. 

You won't remember all my Champagne problems

“I’m glad you didn’t marry Keely Luis my dear,” his mother told him at the wedding, the first time she was able to leave the house.

“Who?” Luis answered.

Notes:

It’s snowing idk why

They’re at Keely’s vacation house which is why Luis had to take a train back home

I hinted at it but Luis’s mom was sick when this happened, and better at the wedding

Also this was a mildly petty fic my goodness.

Also this happened in about eight different time frames/locations that I’ve woven into one fic: There’s Luis and Maeve at the train station, Keely and Luis at her house on the balcony overlooking the dancers, Luis talking to his brothers and sister in law, Luis and his friends at their dorm, Luis in the kitchen, Maeve and Luis on her balcony overlooking the yard, Maeve, Luis and friends in Maeve’s ballroom in her parents’ house, and then their wedding at the very end.

That wasn’t any clearer sorry

I hope you enjoyed!!!

[kunrengui]

just sum venting, ignore :)

dont read if you have like some sort of family issues- trauma or something LOL

my family has been going through a lot of stress in these past 2 years and i feel like im in the only reason this family hasnt lost their minds yet. my dad takes out his stress by screaming at my mom, my mom takes out her stress by screaming at my (younger) brother and me, my brother is NUMB to all disappointment and im genuinely scared because my brother acts psycho and like actually full-on sobs and screams if he isnt allowed to watch vids or play video games all day or the wifi connection is weak or gets cutoff for a moment and thrashes things around but hes 10 and nobody is listening to my pleas of reducing his screen time because they cant deal with his tantrums when they try to. i feel like im losing my brother and then theres my parents who are on the verge of exploding all the time and im always on edge so im never seen scrolling on my phone or watching something kpop related because my parents are fking racist. Im always around the house doing things like getting my moms phone from the kitchen or getting my dad some water as soon as they ask me irrespective of what im doing and like if i hear my parents arguing about who is less tired to turn off the light while im the one actually sleeping i have to get up and turn off the light so my dad doesnt accidentally say something hurtful to my mom and my mom doesnt forget to make breakfast the next morning.

and like recently its been worse cuz my grandfather passed away 2-3 months ago idek it feels like forever so were staying at my grandmothers place that isnt even in the same city and i can feel my mental health deteriorating because i used to live here as a kid and i have a lot of bad memories i want to forget but here i am reliving them. anyways its 4 of us plus my grandmother so that makes 5 people sharing 2 tiny bedrooms a hall and a kitchen but the house feels like its divided into two because my dad and my grandmother dont talk to each other so they just stay on their own side and i share a bedroom with my grandmother and my brother. my brother sleeps in the middle but the bed is actually 2 twin cots with rock-hard matresses from the 1980’s awkwardly put together so the middle is uneven and uncomfortable but my parents wont let him sleep with them because he never lets anyone around him sleep peacefully (explains my eyebags) and he refuses to switch with me so now im also genuinely worried about his back. he also sometimes randomly screams at my grandmother and i glare at him and ask him to stop because its disrespectful but my grandmother screams at me instead because she is partial to him to the point where if she had to push me off a cliff to save him she’d do it in the blink of an eye and im not even exaggerating because this is a fact that everyone who knows her is aware of. shes rich and my family already knows shes going to write off her entire inheritance to my brother and idrc about the money but it hurts. like this one time my mum was talking about how she was going to preserve the land my grandmother owns so my brother can build a farm house there in the future like OKAY i get it we live in an indian society where youre just supposed to marry off the girl and give her 0 inheritance but that shit hurts lady. most of the time i even have to give up my portion of the food when my brother is suddenly in his psychotic mood where he wants other peoples stuff- my grandmother is my brother’s bodyguard, personal attendant and lawyer who’s current job is to either train me to be her successor or if I disagree then turn against me.

i cant blame anyone for the stress part tho. we werent as affected by my grandfathers death as we were by its after affect- he has a business and now my dad has to take care of that and 2 other businesses while also opening a new one and it doesnt help that all 4 require full-time attention. and in hopes of being helpful and fucking fixing this family, i promised to help with the advertising and the managing of the social media accounts of the new business. not even kidding ive been spending the last one month skipping classes saying they were either cancelled or unnecessary to work on photo and video edits for the store and promoting it. idk the last time i touched my textbooks and my parents dont know because im hiding the report cards. my limbs hurt from constantly using the stairs of the 4-floored store.

about half an hour ago my mum told me to refill all the water bottles while i was brushing my teeth and my dad loudly replied with a “Why does everyone give her all the work” out of spite for my mom. everytime he says that it makes me so mad i want to punch the wall because no matter how genuine he is, it sounds sarcastic to me because he makes no effort to help me. and it did NOT help when i lost the soft thing on my earphone 5 minutes later, making me feel like crying because my earphones are the ONLY thing keeping me sane here. the only escape from this. the only excuse i can give my mother when she asks why i didnt hear her call me in such a small house.

i just want to go home. i want my own room back. i want a pair of earphones plugged into my laptop, and i want to drown myself in Kris Wu music. i want to spread my limbs on my queen sized bed and pretend like i have all the time in the world to be bored.

i dont get why we have to go through this when were actually rich. im usually humble about it in rl but atp idec because i really dont get why we have to go through this when we can even afford a house in beverly hills or something. actually, maybe its because my parents dont have enough time or patience left to fix the bed or get a bigger house.

and then i open instagram to see people my age hanging out with their friends, having the time of their lives while im just rotting away here. the only 3 closest friends i have- one just stopped calling me after changing schools and making popular friends and the other blocked my number over some petty fight from months ago. thank the universe im still chatting with my 3rd at least.

but im okay because i tell myself im doing great. im patting myself on my back. im going to go back home at some point and im going to get myself a new pair of earphones.

im proud for staying strong. im proud for not nearing the breaking point. im proud for keeping it up for 2 whole years and im proud that i wouldnt hesitate to continue.

bless you for reading this.

[raksh-writes]

I hope you'll feel better soon, and that you'll get over these awful feelings ♥️ we love you and are here for you whenever you are ready, and while I cannot speak for everyone else, I will wait upon LitA with the same excitement for years if that's what it'll take for you to be happy and healthy and alright. I wish you all the luck and love and that you may feel better soon and succeed with what your thesis and life in general♥️♥️lots of love ~Kris

And here you go, you, making me cry ;_;

I am feeling a little bit better today, but I'm also extremely exhausted after this depressive spiral of a weekend xd I've stayed in bed for an hour longer than normally - skipping classes? why, yes, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, or smth xd - cause I decided I'm taking today off to somewhat stabilize myself mentally and laying in bed in the morning is peak self-care. Definitely needed that xd Im gonna be back to trying to figure out how to make progress on any of my assignments/thesis without straining my wrists whenever I feel mentally okay enough for it. Inactivity only makes me feel worse and stress will def catch up to me, ehhh xd Anyway, todays a selfcare day, so Im gonna try and stay positive 💗

Good thing that weird staticy-numbness has mostly subsided, it was really messing me up xd Tho, my fingers started bothering me more instead and thats not too good either, ehh - it's a bit weird that they started hurting few days after I didnt even touch the keyboard, but last time it started few days after all my uni stuff was done and I wanted to go to my fics in that break, so maybe the reaction is delayed or something xd My left wrist still feels weak too, but I think to a lesser degree? So for now Im tentatively hoping my braces and this anti-inflammatory ointment is working enough. Im gonna keep it up, but if it doesnt keep getting better, then tonight Im gonna have my meds anyway. Im kinda iffy that it's so soon after last time, like only 1,5 month, but oh well, maybe I wasnt careful enough xd But yeah, Im feeling a bit better and a lil bit more hopeful its gonna turn around.

I know you didnt ask for a whole-ass rambling update so sorry for that! Kinda wanted to give one after all the depression of the weekend xd

I really, really appreciate your words, truly, they mean the world ❤❤❤ I was still feeling very fragile last night when I got your ask and, well, you can imagine ;_; But, that aside, I don't think I could last more than few months without my fics xd They have my heart and soul hostage;p And I kinda "realized" that as much as days might go slow, time actually flies by really quickly xd So even if I dont manage to get back to LitA in the next months, it'll prob pass far quicker than expected xd Which also presses me more on my thesis, cause goodness knows its three months left and I need to get a move on to make it xd But I work in burst, so I think - I hope - I will make it. But, no more of that today! Self-care day! (Maybe, maybe I will try hand writing a lil bit for my Beauty and the Beast AU? 👀 That is a comfort fic, after all, so if my right wrist feels up to it, the who knows ;p)

Hope you’re well and healthy and having a nice monday out there too, love, I appreciate you more than you can imagine, thank you and have all my love ❤❤❤💗💗💗

[laysdimplesareillegal]

EXO Reaction to You Confessing

So an anon requested this❤️ thank you guys this was really fun to write please request more!

Chanyeol-

Giddy. It sounds weird but you know it’s true. He has been waiting for this for forever but didn’t want to say anything cuz he didn’t really know you and thought how the heck can I like her she probably doesn’t even know my name when in reality you’ve been science partners three times and you sit behind him torturously in English. And now, not only did he like you but you were taking this initiative because you liked him back just as much. He’d say “yes i like you too” like three times really loudly and everyone would hear it in he courtyard and then they’d keep hearing about it for weeks after because “oh my gosh y/n likes me can you believe it me neither”

Kris-

He’d feel kinda stripped of his manhood. Like shouldn’t I be doing this? He’d get shy and you would crack his shell and make him super bashful. He’s pretty quiet usually, but you’ve seen him with his friend when he really kinda lets loose and let’s his dork side come out and you were like Now Thasa Man. But he’s also kinda oblivious so you knew you had to make the first move but that’s when he comes to his senses and realizes he should be doing this. Thats when his cool comes back.

Sehun-

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....” he just goes blank. You caught him while he was with Kai and Luhan and you were like “hey Sehun I really like you and...” and the other two are just kinda like clapping him on the shoulder like nice going man and he’s still kinda clueless but then you wave your hand in front of his face and he snaps it of it and is like, “wait can you repeat that.” “...I like you Sehun” “cool” awkward silence “well like I like you too though!”

Luhan-

“I know” *flips his hair* which kinda made you want to punch him in the gut, but not the face because you still want him to look good. But now you’re like wow okay and he’s just smirking and you’re not sure if he’s gonna say he likes you back or if you just made the biggest fool of yourself for no reason even though your friends told you not to because look at him, he looks like a smug jerk. So then you’re gonna turn away and he’s like hey! Aren’t you gonna ask if I like you back. And you’re like no I think I know the answer and he’s like “so dinner” and you’re just shell shocked like “yeah okay”

Baekhyun-

BFFL Baekhyun would just melt right there. He’d known you for so long, for like forever, and suddenly you’re telling him this in the middle of a conversation about which movie goes best with which take out place and on which day of the week and you couldn’t hold it in. He didn’t really notice his feelings for you until you up and said something. He loves his friends right? his brothers? And so he was just thinking this was a strong bond that came with how long you two’d been friends and then you open up and he’s like “Oh. So this is what that feeling was.” And the rest is history.

Xiumin-

What a coincidence he was literally about to come find you and say the same thing. His social circle is pretty close knit and so they’re all trying to give him that little push but woah you were already one step ahead of him. You’re confessing and he’s just staring intently and smiling but you’re not looking at him so you just hear his laugh. You look up at him so fast it gives you whiplash and he’s smiling and laughing and you’re *offended* because hello I’m spilling my feelings to you and you’re quite Literally laughing in my face “why are you laughing” “because I was coming to find you to say the same thing”

Chen-

So Cute! You couldn’t wait for him to say anything you had to come and tell him yourself. You two weren’t exactly buddies but you’ve know him for a long time and you’ve worked together on a couple assignments and so you were like hey we graduate soon, then if worse comes to worst I’ll just remove myself from the picture and we’ll never see each other again. So here you are and he’s smiling so big and you’re like wow phew that’s a relief and dang he likes me too that’s awesome yay me

D.O-

Quiet, he’s not mysterious he just wants a serious and focused environment and that’s kinda hot because who doesn’t love a dedicated man? Problem? You only used to work together. Like once when a dodgy internship made you wind up in the wrong building and think oh that’s the guy. When you finally had the sense to look at the nameplate on his desk and you’re like OH MY GOSH IM WORKING FOR THE WRONG MAN. And he’s like laughing but trying to not look like it and so of course you were fired. Then he hired you and you had to say something because he not only got you hired but also listened to you babble a confession Then proceeded to say he liked you too, but don’t tell his boss because office relationships are not allowed

Kai-

Not surprised. Have you seen him? Everyone likes him! He was mom’s handsome son and the typical class heartthrob. Everyone knew him and liked him. But he still was always a little shy. But when you would walk by his group of friends and he was smiling all big and absolutely laughing his head off at these upperclassmen. In all the classes it had together he was quiet and reserved so you knew, you couldn’t talk with his mob of friends there and needed to see him alone and when you did. You lost it all, your whole planned spiel and you both for quiet and shy and then he was all super big smiley and giggled because that just who he is when he’s nervous and “yeah I like you too”

Lay-

Also very blushy. You looked so cute and sweet and he just...he just...aw. His dimple makes a special appearance and he’s smiling and that makes you smile and you’re gaining confidence because it’s Yixing and he is the sweetest person on earth so you’re like “do you feel the same way?” And he’s just so smiley all he can do is nod like he’s dumb off of this and you’ve got this huge problem relieved and BAM “I’m about to leave do you want to get dinner” and you just about got whiplash cuz dang that was fast but I mean carpe diem right “yeah I’d like that” and he’s a gentleman the rest of the night because whether or not you think that, you deserve one sis, and whatever you need he will supply because he wants to take care of his girl and like that’s you now get used to it.

Tao-

He was talking. You two were sitting the library and he was talking about his stupid professor that really didn’t know how to grade and yes his paper was flawless and even it was a controversial topic he was right and- “Hey Tao I think you’re really good looking and I like you and I’ve been wondering if you like me too.” *blank face* if you had interrupted him for any other reason he would’ve been upset and he was just ranting to you and what did you think that was hot or something? *soft smile* “yeah I like you too”

Suho-

Of course you liked him. He was Kim Junmyeon, Junmoney, $uhot. Basically you two worked together and he was really successful and you were really new and like all the high school interns obviously had a thing for him (so even tho you weren’t one why wouldn’t you) and he saw you first and thought you looked really nice so he put in good words for you here and there when you realized it’s the higher up guy pulling the strings like he owns them and he totally likes you because he does that Suho thing where he smiles then looks down and tries to cover his mouth you know what I’m talking about but in the end you made the first move because he’s a shy boy