#konoha just bought him in yes

[6blackfilin9]

something's cookin'

[iidilio]

Hello if may request a madara who has crush like what steps he may go through for his plan to win them over. in the era of the hidden leaf time line (๑`✪̤◡✪̤)◞ღԵհɑղƘՏღ

[🌸] heheh-- This was funny.

genre: bad romantic comedy

warnings: Izuna lives because I say so. We want everyone alive and happy :b, fem!reader (I don't think the gender of the reader was mentioned…? Ahh, I don't remember pipi).

Summary: How to Win Over Your Crush in 4 Simple Steps — by: Madara Uchiha, feat: Three Idiots.

...

..

.

“Four is good luck.” Hashirama had started. “Maybe it would be a good idea if we helped you woo her like in the old days.”

Tobirama interrupted his older brother. “You mean that strange courtship of the ancestors of courting someone using four steps…? I thought four was bad luck.”

Hashirama replied with one of his characteristic smiles to his younger brother, “Yes, but I think it only applies to those who live in the south of the country.”

Izuna, being almost an unconscious idiot, spoke up, “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Madara sweatdropped at the stupidity of his friend and brother. “… We live in the south,” he muttered.

…

-- Step number one: he would get to know her tastes.

Madara didn’t know how to start a conversation with you the first time he met you. And it’s not like he was an idiot or anything, he had talked to higher-ups and the heads of other villages before.

He was the fucking leader of the most powerful clan along with the Senju clan, the Uchiha clan.

That's why he couldn't forget that the first thing he said to you out of nerves was: 'I like your headband'... but, it wasn't even a headband! It was a hair ribbon!

And despite that silly mistake of his, you laughed or were you laughing with him...? No, you were definitely laughing at him.

But a part of him didn't care that you laughed at him, your smile combined with your laughter was a charming sight. Too bad it wasn't because of one of his unexpected and witty responses that made you laugh. What surprised him the most was that you decided to stay and start a short conversation with him despite his pathetic attempt to talk to you.

Unfortunately, you were just visiting that day at the Hokage tower. Being the second cousin of the Senju brothers you grew very close to them, becoming very close to both brothers.

When he told his brother and—mistakenly—his closest friend's younger brother along with the latter of them about his desire to court you, they decided to help him.

He turned to see where his younger brother was hiding. The fool simply gestured with his only available hand to encourage him to approach you, while the other held a few sweet breads he was eating that the idiot had bought with his money.

'Glutton', was Madara's first thought. But was he really going to blame him? After all, he was the first one who offered to help him.

“In order to really get to know someone you must know their likes, big brother. That way you'll know that person deeper.” That had been one of Izuna's pieces of advice.

Madara sighed as he watched your back. Tobirama had been the one who had made the meeting possible, bringing you to the front of one of the first restaurants that had been built after Konoha was founded.

According to the little information provided by the youngest of the Senju, it was one of the restaurants you frequented the most.

Taking all the courage he could muster, he slowly approached you. Vaguely, he wondered if you remembered him, for Kami's sake, what if you told him you didn't remember him?

He knew he was being dramatic, but he would surely die right then from embarrassment.

With a shake of his head he shook those thoughts away. “Don't think that way, Madara-.” He told himself before a soft voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“Oh, it's you.”

Uh-oh.

Almost comically, Madara turned to you. For your part, you feared for a moment that his neck would break from the abrupt way he turned to you.

All because he was looking at his dumb younger brother, he didn't see that you had turned around and saw him standing there, looking back like an idiot.

Madara stood still, the poor man having a short circuit; he wanted to say so many things at once, but he couldn’t say them. Was it this nervousness? It was most likely.

He reacted when he realized with embarrassment that he had been left with his mouth hanging open. With a loud snap, he closed his mouth trying to find the right words to start talking, but he just couldn’t find them.

Madara would have scolded himself again, but a small snort caught his attention.

Oh-, you were laughing…

At him… again.

He felt the heat overwhelming his cheeks, he belatedly realized that he was blushing… and oh my god, he was acting like a fucking teenager!

He swore that in the background he could hear his brother laughing and choking on whatever he was eating now.

“Do you want to go eat with me?”, you asked, getting him out of his mind with your pretty voice; Obviously, you were oblivious to his thoughts or your surroundings.

Madara nearly choked trying to answer and, luckily or by a miracle, he managed to answer you, “yeah, sure,” although he spoke a little louder than usual.

The embarrassment he was feeling was enough to make him wish he was swallowed by the earth, Madara Uchiha wanting to be swallowed by the earth… What kind of nonsense and lie was that? He swears that no woman ever managed to put him that way, he was supposed to be the one who put them that way.

And yet, here he was wanting to bury his head in the ground while he followed you inside the small but cozy restaurant.

“And tell me… What things do you like?”

…

Hashirama had a serious expression, if someone had seen them from afar they would have thought they were talking about something serious, politics or something between clans.

However, that was very far from reality.

“Women like to feel special—”

“I know, I had lovers in the past”

“And that's why— wait what.”

Madara felt a strong urge to sigh when he saw his friend's stupid face, looking at him as if he had grown a second head, or as if he had said something like “I'm going to rule the world. If you want to stop me, you'll have to kill me” and then magically survived that battle and hid underground for sixty years planning some kind of revenge with an abandoned child and a creature of dubious origin. The thought made him roll his eyes, as if he was going to do it.

“I had lovers in the past… Did you think I was some kind of social retard?”

“Yes… I mean no—, of course not!”

He raised an eyebrow, Madara was beginning to doubt his friend's abilities. The fact that he had a wife seemed a little unbelievable to him now.

Was this a government social experiment? Wait what.

Hashirama sighed before speaking after a long while. “She likes conversations that can bring out her wit, you know?”

“…I think her ideal type is someone who can flow with her, and who answers with the same kind of wit… at least that’s how she’s been since we were kids”

Madara was absorbing every ounce of information his friend was giving him about you. A little you seemed adorable to him, although truth be told, you were already adorable. “I can imagine,” he said as a subtle, amused smile crept up his lips.

“Oh, believe me, she sometimes got on the older ones’ nerves when she brought out her wit”

His smile softened as he imagined a little you fluttering like a little butterfly among the adults and graciously answering what they said to you. Madara wondered to himself: if he ever had children with you, would they be just like you?

“I can handle it”

“… liar.”

Madara didn't waste his time denying that, after all you and he had agreed to meet at the field that was at the southern end of the village. His heart began to pound with excitement just thinking about meeting you again, he just hoped he wouldn't get as nervous around you as the first time.

...

-- Step Two; ‘Romantic’ Dates

“Alright, listen up,” Izuna spoke up interrupting whatever Tobirama was going to say. “Now you’re about to dive into dangerous waters–”

“You talk like he’s about to enter a battlefield, it’s just a date.”

“Says the one who’s never been on a date in his life.”

“You son of a–”

Madara let out a snort of annoyance, these two weren’t helping at all.

“Listen,” Tobirama exclaimed with annoyance evident in his voice and face, “it’s nothing to be alarmed about, the only thing that changes is that they won’t be friendly dates, they’ll start to be more romantic and serious.”

“Yes, it's something like this,” Izuna said pointing at the drawing of a staircase (?) he had made on the ground, “you are here,” he said pointing at step one, “where the dates to get to know each other better begin… then you will be on step two at the kissing part and ask her to be your life partner,” his brother's voice became dramatic.

“And… what does the last step mean–?”, Tobirama asked pointing at the last step.

“Stay away, Satan!”

Madara looked at them with a disturbed face as he watched them talk about… he honestly didn't feel like repeating it in his mind, he didn't want to see you like that. At least not yet, you looked so pure that the idea of ​​corrupting you hurt him… in more than one way.

He simply walked away trying to get rid of the new thoughts that began to torment him. He looked at the sky, it was beginning to get dark, there was still time.

His walk was slow but sure, some passersby stopping to greet him politely as they passed. Madara wasn't surprised, being the leader of the Uchiha Clan it was normal for people to show him respect.

Vaguely, he wondered if you accept being his, Would you feel uncomfortable if people and civilians bowed to greet you? It would be normal for you to feel that way, knowing you and your status. He could almost imagine your cute face awkward as you walked beside him.

No, surely you would overcome that. You are a strong and amazing woman, you deserved more than a pathetic nod as a greeting. To Madara people should kneel and kiss your feet to greet you.

Although, you probably wouldn't agree with that. You are such an amazing and gentle woman, that your mere existence in this corrosive world shouldn't exist. But you are also a woman who because of her status wasn't that important to her clan.

He grimaced.

But as soon as it appeared, it disappeared when he saw you. Your eyes lit up when you saw him, causing a small smile to appear on his normally stoic face.

Well, if your status doesn’t mean anything now, he’ll definitely make it so in the future.

“How are you?”

…

-- Step Three: ‘Gifts and always Showing Trust’

“What, you don’t know what else to give her?” Izuna asked carelessly as he munched on an onigiri.

“No,” he replied as he tried to think of what to give you as a sign that he was fully committed to you. In the Uchiha clan, there was this tradition where the man had to give you something meaningful as a sign of commitment and loyalty to the other person, though he vaguely wondered if you would understand his gestures since you weren’t part of the Uchiha clan.

“What about flowers?”

“I already gave her flowers before.”

“Second date?”

“No, third date.”

Izuna hummed as he tried to think, “Oh… and what about those western sweets? You know those so-called… chocolates.”

Madara fell into thought, what if you didn’t like them? They were new to the people of Konoha, several people hadn’t liked them — mostly elders — because of the exotic taste.

But you were an adventurous spirit, he was sure you wouldn't mind trying it.

He smiled before ruffling his brother's unkempt hair, who choked a little at the movement. “Good idea,” he congratulated him before quickly moving away from the boy before he could hit him.

Madara walked quickly to the only store that currently sold those so-called chocolates, already feeling excited to see your reaction.

When he entered the soft aroma of pastries hit his nose, surely you would like this place. With a confident step he approached the counter, focusing on the small sign that was next to the chocolates. ‘Heart-shaped chocolates’ was what it read, although he felt a little confused when he saw the shape of the chocolates… they weren't heart-shaped.

He knew this, because seeing hearts outside the body of his opponents was not strange to him. Although, surely, the ‘shape of hearts’ was a Western thing.

“I want a package of heart-shaped chocolates,” he asked the girl behind the counter without bothering to look at her.

When his order was ready, he paid for it without looking back as he tried to think of how to give them to you without looking weird. Maybe on your next date he could give them to you, but, that might look too forward on his part.

“Oh, hello, Madara.”

Madara stopped, you were in front of the door… you were going to…

Were you going to enter?

He wanted to hit himself right now. Of course, being the person you were, you were surely the first person to have tried them when you entered the village.

“Did you buy chocolates?” you asked amused as you looked at the bag and then at him. He couldn’t blame you and you clearly weren’t making fun of him being a man and it was a sin for him to like sweets. Of course not, it was because he had told you in the beginning that he hardly liked sweet things.

“… They are for you,” he said as he handed them to you, almost shy, yet, showing himself confident.

“Oh…”, you managed to articulate before taking the package of chocolates, you looked at the bag between a mix of amazement and surprise before looking at him and smiling tenderly. “Would you like to enjoy them with me?”

…

You were so excited, your body exuded happiness infecting him in its path, “Isn’t it amazing?”

“It definitely is,” Madara replied with a smile looking at you with adoration.

Your first painting had been sold. It was a simple painting but so beautiful, although in his eyes everything you did was beautiful. 

When he heard the news from Hashirama he had almost run out to congratulate you. It was an achievement, it was your achievement, that’s why he was happy.

“I… I still can’t believe it was sold! Honestly, it’s so ugly I can’t believe it, haha!” you laughed, though Madara’s smile disappeared when he heard your comment about your work.

Ugly? That was the last term he would use to address something you’ve done. “I don’t think it’s ugly, I think it’s beautiful and special just like you.”

How cheesy.

Well.

At least it worked… that is, if your blushing face and star-like sparkling eyes told him anything.

Ha, take that Tobirama, who said he couldn’t praise and be cheesy at the same time.

…

-- Step four; ‘confess’

Madara’s hair fluttered, the wind ruffling his long black locks. He wondered if he looked disheveled.

He wanted to formalize what he had with you. In his eyes it was time. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, your smile, the look in your eyes, the way your face lit up when you saw something you liked or when you looked at him.

You had him under some kind of spell. Not that he was complaining about this.

“Madara!” your voice called out to him. And as lovely as ever you approached him, trotting gently. Your hair fluttering behind you, like a beautiful waterfall of the rich color of your hair.

He said your name when you were close to him. “I’m glad to see you,” he paused for a moment to organize the next words he was going to say. “I want to tell you something.”

Your head tilted slightly to the side as a curious look flooded the beautiful color of your eyes, adding a spectacular shine as if a fairy had put that shine there making him fall even more in love with you. “Oh, about?”

Madara felt his hands sweat, making his heart flutter. Why was he so nervous? “I would like to formalize this.”

He looked at your beautiful face, watching as your expression filled with surprise. “You… want… what?”

This confused him, why did you look so doubtful?

However, without wasting another moment, he continued: “I want to make this formal. I want to get serious with you, I want to love you and I want to conquer you more and more every day… if you give me permission to do so. I don’t promise to be perfect… just like I don’t ask you to be, I only ask that you allow me to call you mine and that you allow me to stay by your side.” His quiet, serious, yet almost gentle voice came out trying to lull your ears.

You looked at him as he held his breath, afraid that you would leave and push him away, or even afraid that you had overstepped your boundaries. Did he do something wrong? Did he overstep your boundaries?

Why were you not answering him?

It wasn't until a moment later that felt like an eternity that you finally smiled. Such a beautiful smile… full of life and beauty.

It was at that moment that he allowed himself to smile too. There were no words, no explanations or confirmations of anything.

He knew that the two of you would be together no matter the circumstances.

…

Epilogue::

“Have you loved others?” you asked softly. Your voice, almost like a siren's song that echoed in the sounds of the forest. Your eyes like two precious gems shining in the moonlight.

“Have you?” he asked in the same tone as yours, looking at you where you had settled. You were close to where his heart is, an appropriate place when it comes to you he thought.

“Yes…”

“… Yes”

You confessed as if you were both confessing some teenage stupidity.

“Did you know I wanted to court you?” He asked you after a while.

“Huh? Oh, you talk about that. Tobirama told me the first day we met in front of that restaurant”

“… I’m going to kill him”

You snorted clearly amused. “No need, he helped me sort out my feelings”

“… I guess he’s saved this time”

Your soft giggles like an angel's songs that warmed his heart and brightened his soul, making him feel alive. He pulled you closer to his chest, feeling warm and loved.

And for that moment, which could perhaps be the last, he truly felt at peace.

…

3157… 3157 wORDS!

anyway! i wanted to do something different :D, like… a one shot style writing but following what my lovely anon asked me haha ​​:3 it’s nice to be back!! please reblog and give me a big heart 🪭❤️

Ily guysss!! You always make me happy❤️❤️❤️

[martialartslover7]

Shippuden Rewrite Idea: What role I would have given to Anko in Shippuden

Let's be real to ourselves. Out of all the characters, who were done the most dirty (leaving the likes of the entire Hyuga clan, Kiba, Sasuke, pretty much the ENTIRE cast of Boruto, and a huge chunk of the female characters aside), Anko is the one, where the bad writing decisions, and therefore downright STAGGERING pile of missed opportunities, really shine through the most. Because, I dunno about you guys, but, the way Sasuke was written in Shippuden, I get it, he is supposed to be this lonely wolf, who is walking his own path, and doesn't take crap from anybody, not even his own team, and considering how corrupted Konoha is, from the ground up, with the likes of Danzo, and the Kage, having practically ENABLED said snake man, his actions make sense.

However, what bothers me, after a few rewatches...

...Sasuke is barely openly humanized, before Itachi's passing. The best way I can describe it, is that, it feels like, the author was just being edgy and angsty with him, for the sake being edgy and angsty. And that was a constant, by the way. Barely reacting to anything, always having this overfixated drive for his goals, and having this attitude of "fuck everyone else, my goal is more important", and yes, I understand. His backstory. But COME. ON. This just looks ridiculous after a while, man. If the only ounce of emotion a character can show, is always the same, stupid deadpan stare, having this "Fuck all of you" face, 24/7, never letting up, always putting on a mask around everyone, wouldn't you assume that, around Team Hebi, Sasuke would definitely show more cracks, as he WANTS to put faith in them, the same way Team 7 did with him, before his departure? Maybe I am misunderstanding something, but whenever I saw Sasuke on-screen in Shippuden, pre-Kage Summit, I just couldn't take him seriously. Tragic backstory or not, this is frankly embarrassing. Even other characters of a similar archetype like Sasuke, in other forms of media, have strong moments of humanity, showing definitive cracks in their facade (best examples I can name, is Shadow the Hedgehog, Jin Kazama, Siegfried Schtauffen, Robby Keene, Anakin Skywalker, Iori Yagami, even they showed emotion and humanity, even in their angstiest of phases), but Sasuke on the other hand, leaving the fight with Itachi aside, he barely ever emotes beyond that deadpan expression and occasional scowling, even during moments of dealing with the antics of his own teammates. And this comes from an unapologetic Sasuke supporter here, before some of you morons in the fandom assume that I am hating on him. I am not. I am calling Kishimoto an idiot here, that's all. Especially for humiliating Sasuke's character, after Shippuden.

So, the question of the hour arises:

How does Anko play into all of this?

Simple. The solution I am presenting here:

Turn her into a spy, that shall not only follow Team Hebi around to find out what Sasuke is really up to, keeping Team 7 up to speed, but to also watch over Sasuke, and letting his teammates know, he is doing OK, because I headcanon that, outside of Team 7, Neji, Shikamaru and Kiba, Anko also deeply cares about him, and with her it's even more special, because, since both had the same teaching figure, she more than understands and sympathizes with his course of action, way more than most people. And she had always been Pro Team Uchiha, even with Tobirama's and Danzo's discriminatory actions committed towards them, as she was one of the few, who NEVER bought into it, because like the Uchiha, she was also tossed aside like trash by both her teacher, and the village. Brownie points are definitely there.

Especially, if we keep in mind how knowledgeable Anko is about her former sensei, considering that, after learning of how Sasuke "killed" Orochimaru, Anko should know that, he cannot be killed that easily. And as we saw later, during Sasuke's fight with Itachi, that death was FAR from permanent, since he revived himself through Sasuke's Curse Mark. Which, by the way, has the exact same bodily line pattern as her own Curse Mark. That thing could function as her personal radar to track him down, as Orochimaru's influence did cause her major discomfort, as her Curse Mark was reacting to his presence, whenever he was closeby. So yeah, she is what Sonic saw in Longclaw. A guardian angel for Sasuke.

They have the same flame-like pattern.

And to be absolutely foolproof, knowing how unpredictable Sasuke has become, Anko decides to master the arts of Sage jutsu. And to do this, she ventures to the Ryūchi Caves to meet the White Snake Sage, and attain Snake Sage Mode, something that not even Orochimaru was truly capable of attaining on his own time, because his body wasn't cut out for the final task. But Anko succeeds, because the Curse Mark he gave her, functions like a "tunnel" of sorts to make the absorption process of the Sage chakra a lot more palpatable and bearable. And there you go, what do we get? This.

For anyone interested in wanting to see, how I would have written the process for Anko on how she ends up attaining Snake Sage mode, take a look here:

Now, much like Orochimaru, Anko is practically semi-immortal, Sasuke can dish out any fatal blow that he can think of, it's no use. She cannot be killed that easily anymore, and because she is very stubborn and persistant, essentially making her Naruto, if he was female, NOW ON STEROIDS, BECAUSE OF SNAKE SAGE MODE, I doubt she would ever leave, well enough alone, when she got an edgy dork like Sasuke on her radar.

In fact, I just realized, Anko's role here would also provide genuine comedic relief, that also humanizes Sasuke in the process, to make us, the audience, and Team 7 understand that, at the end of the day, much like Naruto, Sasuke didn't exactly change in those past three years, as she would spill the information to them on what she saw. Even after departing from Konoha, he still remains the same brooding, emo Uchiha dork, who keeps unintentionally hitting all of the checkmarks for being a drama queen. Oh, those Uchiha and their knack for loving Shakespearean dramatics. Let's not lie to ourselves, even with this traumatic shit he had to bear witness to, deep down, he had always remained that lonely, angsty wolf in Shippuden, even if the story would not dare to show, because "it would take away from the immersion", whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. Because I don't see how openly humanizing an edgelord character accounts for "taking away from the experience", since stuff like this, gets really tiring after a while, especially if this the ONLY thing you see with them. Most unnecessary melodrama is removed, because Anko provides us with important info, and keeps the team up-to-date. Win-win, if you ask me.

But, since Anko does strike me as a woman, who would go there...

...in order to get the information out of her, she is more than willing to openly share it with Kakashi...

...under the condition that...

...he is man enough to listen to her sultry voice and pervy scenarios, that she forces upon his Icha Icha Paradise-ridden mind. Even flirting with him on the phone, as she takes a hot bath, teasing him by telling him to join her, if he is man enough to get... the real thing, instead of being stuck to his pervy romance novels. She can be his romance. This woman knows her business.

And because she is a little bit of a sadist, she may end up trolling Sakura about Karin, making her initially believe that "Sasuke might be taken", before then reminding her: No, he is not. In fact, he always seemed openly uncomfortable being touched by Karin, due to her unhinged Uzumaki attitude, being a whirlpool of emotions, and pervy thoughts. I just find this hilarious, Anko has all of Team 7 in a chokehold about Sasuke. And once they learn, he hasn't exactly changed, they might comically grow very disappointed about him...

...and even from far away, Sasuke will FEEL their disappointment, it's just a goldmine of genuine comedy, mixed in with wholesomeness from genuine bonds being kept alive, and new ones being formed. All thanks to her.

Yup, Kakashi and Anko shippers, you can have a field day with this one, too.

And well, through Anko, we can even learn more about Sasuke's teammates, because she can dig up information about them, and feed them to Kakashi, just in case. Suigetsu, Karin and Jugo are all in the same boat as Sasuke and Anko. I swear, am I the only one who thinks:

Anko must become the sensei of Suigetsu, Karin and Jugo?

Imagine that for a minute. It makes way too much sense. And since she is a good person with maternal instincts, she would definitely treat these three like family, unlike what Orochimaru merely viewed them as: Assets.

So yeah, here you go. Not only did I just make Anko a heck of a lot more interesting, and a proper lense for the viewer to closely observe Sasuke, behind the scenes, where she closely observing his quirks and eccentricities (until the fight with Itachi, at least, where she may lose his trail completely, because of Obito using his Mangekyo to teleport Sasuke out of there), but also mended an issue that was plaguging early-Shippuden Sasuke. Making him less of a plot device that just drives the plot forward, and more of a guy that is merely trying to do his best, unable to move on from his old teammates. It makes it way easier to root for, and understand him too, even early on (even while keeping the stuff with the elders and Konoha in mind).

I hope you have a great day, now go on. Let me know what you think.

PEACE.

[moonlitonyxandopal]

Unexpected Affection

After the Fourth Great Ninja War, Sasuke begins his journey of redemption, but a certain set of (hilarious) circumstances keeps pulling him into awkward encounters with Hinata. From accidental dates to sparring sessions gone wrong, the two slowly develop an unlikely friendship… which might just turn into something more. Chapter 1 A Favor Gone Wrong

After the war, things were… weird. The villages were rebuilding, friendships were rekindling, and, most bizarrely, Sasuke Uchiha found himself being invited to things. Barbecues, reunions, training meet-ups—he didn’t understand why people suddenly wanted him around.

Which is exactly how he ended up in this mess.

"Uchiha-san, can you do me a favor?"

Sasuke turned his head slightly, finding himself face-to-face with none other than Hyuga Hinata.

"A favor?" His voice was flat, uninterested.

Hinata fidgeted slightly but held her ground. "Yes. Lady Tsunade asked me to retrieve a scroll from a merchant outside the village, but I have to train with Hanabi today. Since you're not busy, I thought maybe…"

Sasuke blinked. Since when did people assume he wasn’t busy?

"Why don’t you ask Naruto?" He tossed out the question without much thought.

Hinata instantly went red. "H-He’s on a mission!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Sakura?"

"At the hospital…"

"Tch." Sasuke sighed. He didn't particularly want to run errands, but rejecting her outright felt… unnecessarily rude. Besides, it was just picking up a scroll.

"Fine."

The sheer relief on Hinata’s face was unexpected. "Thank you, Sasuke-kun!" she said, bowing slightly before hurrying off.

It should have been a simple task. Should have been.

The moment Sasuke arrived at the merchant's stall, he realized things had gone south.

"Ah! You must be Hinata's companion!" The merchant beamed. "I have everything set for your date!"

Sasuke's entire soul left his body. "What."

Before he could correct the misunderstanding, the merchant clapped his hands. "Oh, she’s a lucky girl! I’ve seen a lot of couples, but you two will be wonderful together! Here, take these complimentary dango skewers!"

Sasuke glared. "I—"

"Oh, and the tea house down the road has your reserved spot ready! I must say, what a gentlemanly gesture, treating her to tea after this errand!"

Sasuke was this close to setting the whole stall on fire. Instead, he turned sharply and marched toward the Hyuga Compound. He was going to fix this right now.

Unfortunately, fate—and his so-called friends—had other plans.

The moment Sasuke arrived back in Konoha with Hinata’s scroll, he was ambushed.

By Naruto, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, and Sai.

Naruto, as per usual, was the loudest. "OI! SASUKE! I heard you went on a date with Hinata!!"

Sasuke stopped mid-step. His eyes twitched. What.

Shikamaru, leaning lazily against a tree, smirked. "Tough luck, Sasuke. Looks like the whole village knows now."

Sakura, on the other hand, looked like she had just been stabbed. "Wait. Wait. You—You went on a date… with Hinata?"

Sasuke was already mentally preparing his escape route.

"It wasn’t a date," he deadpanned. "It was an errand."

"But you bought her dango, right?" Ino grinned mischievously.

Sasuke glared. "I was tricked."

Kiba snorted. "Man, I always knew you had weird tastes, but I didn’t think you’d go after Hinata!"

Meanwhile, Shino, ever the quiet observer, simply adjusted his glasses. "If Sasuke is courting Hinata, I would have expected a more strategic approach. This was… inefficient."

Sai, who had been watching with an unnerving smile, tilted his head. "Ah, so Sasuke has finally decided to engage in romantic relationships. How uncharacteristically human of you."

Sasuke hated all of them.

Chouji, meanwhile, was busy eating a bag of chips, unfazed. "As long as I still get free barbecue when we all go out, I don’t really care who dates who."

Naruto was laughing hysterically. "Man, I never expected you and Hinata, but hey! If it makes you less of a grump, maybe it's a good thing!"

"Let me be very clear," Sasuke said, voice dangerously low. "I did not go on a date with Hinata. It was an errand. There was no romantic intent. If anyone spreads another rumor, I will use my Sharingan on them."

Silence. Then—

"So you’re saying," Shikamaru mused, smirking, "there was romantic potential?"

Sasuke was going to commit murder.

-

Hinata sighed, staring at her reflection in her bedroom mirror.

The rumors had spread like wildfire. By the time she got home, Neji’s old teammates were already teasing her about her "mysterious Uchiha romance."

She groaned, covering her face.

It wasn’t like she didn’t admire Sasuke. He was strong, dedicated, and—if she were honest—had a certain quiet charm. But they were nothing alike. He was brooding and intense, while she preferred peace and warmth.

Still, the image of Sasuke, utterly exasperated yet standing up for her against their ridiculous friends, made her smile.

Maybe this situation wasn’t so bad… right?

-

Sasuke lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering at what point in his life he had lost complete control.

Maybe if he left the village again, the rumors would die down.

...Except he’d promised Naruto he wouldn’t leave. "Tch."

Maybe this was his punishment for all the past crimes he committed.

Either way, he had a bad feeling that this was only the beginning.

Chapter 2

[starts-the-moon]

Any headcanons for NaruHina and Sasusaku? Or any other canon couple.

NaruHina headcanons

I have plenty of headcanons or conjectures. I will post the most heartwarming ones, for this couple:

Honeymoon in Whirlpool Naruto and Hinata spent their honeymoon exploring the ruins of the Uzumaki Clan's ancestral land. Between uncovering Naruto's heritage and enjoying the calm of the beaches, they also, um, got very familiar with each other's bodies ofc

Vacation Home The Uzumakis bought a house in Whirlpool, years later, close to a hot spring and beach. They have lazy picnics, sail along the coast, and collect seashells with the kids, peak family vibes.

Hinata’s Shy but Pervy Side Hinata has a secretly pervy side that comes out with Naruto. She’s always blushing and getting touchy with him, always hugging him and sneaking in playful little touches. They started hooking up before marriage, and Hinata’s sweet, mischievous side added spice to their relationship.

Hinata’s Gentle Fist Life Hacks Even though Hinata is not super active on missions she low-key uses Gentle Fist for everyday stuff like opening stubborn jars, fixing things around the house. A ninja housewife flex.

Hinata’s Forehead Kisses Every morning before Naruto leaves, Hinata kisses his forehead for protection. Naruto still turns beet red every single time lol

Seasonal Festivals The Uzumaki family celebrates every seasonal festival in Konoha. Hinata’s always sewing special outfits for everyone. Naruto gets extra excited and drags the whole family around to every event booth.

Silly Faces Naruto mastered the art of making goofy faces to make Hinata laugh... “Uzumaki Special” or his “Heart Stealer” grin are her favourites. He also pretends to scare her, and she plays along.

Hinata’s Pregnancy Announcement When Hinata told Naruto she was pregnant, he went speechless for once. Dating, marriage, now parenthood it all felt so fast. Their lives were changing forever.

Then he ran around telling everyone.

“Hinata-chan’s expecting!” became his new intro. Every stranger they met got the announcement. Random villagers were congratulating her at the market. The public loved it; Hinata just wanted to crawl under a rock.

Identical Cravings Naruto mysteriously craved the same weird food combos as Hinata during her pregnancies. Midnight spicy ramen, (she ate a looot of ramen) random pastries, you name it. It turned a shared Uzumaki joke.

Boruto’s Birth Naruto was a hot mess when Boruto was born. Pure love, pure stress, and pure panic. But the moment he held Boruto, everything else disappeared.

Calm Mom While Naruto was freaking out, Hinata’s calm smile holding Boruto grounded him. The birth went surprisingly smoothly, and Naruto’s worries disappeared in an instant.

Clumsy New Dad Naruto Naruto’s early parenting days were a disaster. Diapers? bottles? Child crying? you name it. he failed spectacularly. Thankfully, Hinata had all the patience in the world to guide him.

Hokage Office Shenanigans Hinata often visits Naruto in the Hokage office. They lock the doors and have sweet sex there. Yes, they often do it there, especially because after he took the role, they don’t have much time otherwise.

Morning Workouts The couple starts their mornings with stretches and sparring. A mix of fitness and bonding before the chaos of the day. Also a way to keep shape.

Hinata’s Patience Naruto forgets everything, but Hinata got his back. Grocery lists, taking the trash, diplomatic visits, birthdays... she’s his unofficial calendar.

Jutsu Lessons with mom The kids prefer learning from Hinata. Her teaching is gentle and precise, unlike Naruto’s chaotic “just keep trying!” method.

The reason Naruto sleeps at sofa Naruto’s snoring is legendary, and his sleep-talking? The makeshift sleeping fights at bed? Equally chaotic. Hinata is often nudging him to the couch. He doesnt mind... Much.

His snoring became an inside joke at home.

Naruto’s Ramen Fails Naruto’s attempts at homemade ramen? Total disasters. Everytime he tried, they always end up ordering takeout, much to Boruto’s relief.

Monthly Hyuga Visits The Uzumakis monthly visit the Hyuga compound. Boruto and Himawari connect with their heritage, and Naruto and Hiashi are quite chill together and call each other somehow “Father” and “Son” now.

Photo Albums Hinata is obsessed with documenting their lives. Their house is filled with photo albums, portraits all over the place in every room, each moment lovingly preserved.

Quiet Nights In When the kids are out or sleeping late night, Naruto and Hinata have wine or sake, movies, and long talks in their living room. It always gets touchy (and lewd) by the end.

Homecoming Nights With Naruto’s busy Hokage schedule, those quiet nights became rare. But still once a month, they made a tradition to ship the kids off to Hyuga compound or a friends house for “Homecoming Nights” to enjoy some alone time.

Secret Basement There’s a hidden command center under their house for ANBU missions and emergency situautions, with a lot of tunnels. The kids found it accidentally one day, and chaos ensued. Oops.

Hokage Life Changes Naruto’s schedule made vacations rarer and teen Boruto prefers spend time with his friends. Though Hinata sometimes takes Himawari to the summer house alone, for peace, away from Konoha's stuff.

Gardening Together The Uzumakis bond over their gardening. Hinata loves watching Naruto’s strong arms work with the plants. Boruto grumbles about gardens, but Hinata finds ways to get him involved, especially when there’s heavy lifting to do.

Gift of Seeds Hinata saves seeds from their garden to gift friends and family, a sweet, personal touch.

Wedding Anniversary Tradition Every anniversary, they eat at Ichiraku Ramen and keep telling stories of their childhood or how they got together . The kids find it soooo boring “Can’t we eat cheeseburgers for once?”

Movie Nights Hinata loves romance movies and soap operas, but Naruto always falls asleep halfway. She finally gave up and only watches action flicks with him instead.

Hinata’s Seamstress Skills Hinata sews personalized outfits for the whole family for special moments. Uzumaki fashion queen.

Boruto’s Boredom It was once cool, but as he gets older, Boruto is over hearing Naruto’s legendary stories.

“Here we go again,” he mutters whenever his parents or someone starts reminiscing.

Chunin Exam Cheer Squad Every single year, the Uzumaki family is seen in the stands, cheering and proud, during the Chunin Exams. Full support for Konoha ninjas.

Clone Cleaning Fiasco Early in their relationship, Naruto thought using shadow clones to help clean the house was genius. It wasn’t. The clones caused more chaos than order, leaving Hinata spending extra time fixing their "help." Eventually, Hinata gently said for he to give up the idea: that at least when she cleans, she knows where everything ends up!

Lighting Lanterns For Kawaki’s heavy emotions, Hinata starts a tradition of lighting lanterns in the garden at dusk. It’s their quiet way of saying, “We’re here for you.”

Naruto is bad at tech Naruto’s awful with new technology. Devices don’t survive him and he destroys some by mistake. Hinata always giggles, she is better than him, but also not a pro, so she let it be. Himawari is the only child patient enough to teach him.

Himawari’s Art Talent Himawari’s drawings, specially her family portraits decorate their home. Her sunflower-themed piece, featuring Kawaki, become her parents favorite.

Hinata’s Massage & Snack Time Hinata sometimes greets late night Naruto with a soothing massage, after some long days of Hokage duties. When he comes home completely drained, she helps him unwind, preparing his favorite snack, massaging his back, while listening patiently as he vents about his day and other world issues.

Boruto vs. Naruto Boruto and Naruto constantly compete for every stuff at home: who can eat more, who can do more push-ups, who can brush their teeth quickier. Hinata often step in, calling that they should calm down and that this is.. dumb.

Hinata’s Healthy Mission Hinata is on a quiet crusade to keep Naruto eating healthy. She’s the only one who can get Naruto to eat vegetables, transforming “boring food” into meals he actually like. On missions, she always sends him bentos full of nutritious goodies. He used to complain, but now he secretly looks forward to them (though Naruto doesnt admit it).

The Imaginary Frog Defense Whenever Naruto makes a mess and Hinata decides to call him out, he blames it on an “frog” that’s causing chaos in their house. Hinata tries to stay serious but always ends up laughing, completely unable to stay mad at him for long.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Have had Lottery by Kali Uchis stuck in my head recently,,, lottery AU where kakashi keeps buying lotto tickets bc he thinks the clerk is cute ,, he goes so often that he ends up winning the lottery

It started off innocent enough. Kakashi went in for a drink, got caught up in conversation, used a terrible pick up line that actually worked and felt he needed to try his good luck on the lottery

He didn’t win that time, but the next day he came in again just to see if the cute clerk was working again. He was, so naturally Kakashi got wrapped up in conversation once again. This time when his bad pick up line worked and the clerk started to blush he was certain his good luck would carry through. He told himself that if he won he’d take the cutie out to the fanciest place in all of Konoha

He did not win again, but he kept going. Every time he went he would speak with the cute clerk and pick up a lottery ticket if his pick up lines worked (if they didn’t work and he got an eye roll instead he’d walk out without a lottery ticket. No point embarrassing himself twice in one day)

The day he found out the cute clerks name (Yamato, which is a delightful name in his opinion) he bought three lottery tickets because that was a damn lucky day.

He won ten dollars and promptly spent it on a cute plant for the cute plant dork that he was trying so hard to woo. Yamato loved the gift and even gave him a free drink for the thoughtfulness. Kakashi didn’t get greedy that day and only left with one lottery ticket.

For a year this continued. Kakashi would come in, grab his drink, chat up the curie, try a terrible pick up line and if it worked he’d get himself a lottery ticket

On the one year anniversary of this little game Kakashi got his lottery ticket, walked out, scratched it, and just about choked on his drink when he realized he’d won the jackpot. Enough money to pay off his house, save up for his future, help his best friend pay off his house, and take the cute clerk to dinner

He turned right around, walked back into the store, and asked the cutie out on a date.

His soul left his body for a moment of pure bliss when his question was answered with a ‘yes’

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: Vapors 41

"Hatake, put down that damn book and pay attention for once in your life, or I'm going to leave you in the dark."

He glared a little, but obediently tucked Icha Icha Madness away safely.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and sighed, momentarily considering the intelligence of trusting this smartass with anything. But it was his kid.

"Uzumaki, you're clear to tell Hatake what I classified earlier. Usage is now at his discretion."

Aiko nodded, but Hatake and Yamato gave her sharp looks. She cringed a little.

"You will be taking two genin corps teams as backup so that we're sending a respectable force. I expect you three to keep an eye on them."

"Genin," Yamato asked disbelievingly. Tsunade gave him a dirty look.

"Yes, genin. We're a bit understaffed. Besides, they're just needed to supplement Wind's border guard and allow their Chuunin relief. As is, they're three men short for a full watch at the area of the incidents. You'll be dealing with the actual excursions, along with three teams from Sand and three from Mist."

Kakashi sniggered at the snub. Ostensibly, by sending three teams, Konoha was contributing just as much as her allies. But the rank disparity would almost certainly piss people off. Tsunade pretended to look innocent about the implicit claim that Konoha's genin were equal to Sand's Chuunin and that a three man team from Konoha was as good as nine people from Sand or Mist.

The only one in the office who might possibly have bought her innocent expression was Tonton.

'Kami, it's a good thing that Gaara has been working on his temper. I bet Terumi Mei is hopping mad, though.'

The Hokage cleared her throat. "The Border stretch in question is the one that runs along Bird Country." She rolled her eyes a little. "Ten guesses as to which country probably let Sound get there unhindered from Grass," she said dryly.

'And if we guess 'Rain', she'll probably hit us.' Aiko pressed her lips together to avoid an inappropriate smile. It really wasn't funny that Earth appeared to have let Sound pass their borders unhindered at least twice. Of course they had plausible deniability, but it seemed pretty plain to see that the Tsuchikage didn't mind letting someone else take a swing at Sand.

That meant that even if he wasn't actually planning to go to war with the Leaf-Sand-Mist alliance, he didn't wish them well either.

'Actually, Rock and Lightning might feel threatened by a three country alliance,' Aiko realized. 'I would, if it were me. It looks like we're militarizing, even if we don't actually plan to start anything.'

"You'll be reporting here, and the time your team is expected to report is on your mission file, along with all other relevant information. Meet the two genin teams downstairs, they should be in the second waiting room. Any questions?"

No one had any, so they got the hell out and met the genin teams.

"Aiko-senpai!"

Akira caught her in a hug around the waist, digging her pony-tailed little head onto her chest. Aiko stiffened, not exactly certain as to what she should be doing. Usually only Naruto gave her surprise hugs. Her standard procedure for that was to let him do what he wanted and maybe pat his back a little.

'I didn't think the ducklings liked me that much…'

Luckily, the other two ducklings and the three older genin corps members in the room were much more reserved. Ken gave a little wave, and Emiko gave a polite nod. Once she'd finally pried off Akira and exchanged greetings with the genin she knew, the other team introduced themselves. It happened to be an all male team, with a much wider age group than the other genin group. The youngest looked to be about thirteen, but the other two had to be between sixteen and nineteen or so.

"Yamato, teams 2 and 3." Everyone jumped at the sudden serious tone of command from Kakashi, who was in charge of all the squads. "Go to the gate to await departure. Aiko, I want to talk to you at training ground 7."

She fingered the kunai in her pocket nervously as she followed her shishou, trying not to look too nervous. Tsunade had 'allowed' (read: ordered) Aiko to practice and demonstrate the Hiraishin on her private grounds. In retrospect, that was probably so that she knew whether or not it was wise to clue in her commanding officer that the technique was at his disposal when she sent them into the field. But it had never even occurred to the otherwise-thorough Tsunade to ask if Aiko could do anything other than what she thought of as the 'standard' Hiraishin.

And why should it have? Aiko hadn't actually really made modifications to the seal, per say. Her triangulation was only a different way of thinking about the Hiraishin, not an actual modification. Minato (and probably the Hokage who had invented it) had been able to appear in slightly different locations to their seals as needed, so their seals hadn't really been that different.

Really, her idea said more about her relative laziness than any actual flaw in the technique. Why throw the seal again and again when she could use three stationary ones for a similar purpose?

When she'd had time to think after the tongue-lashing/impromptu career advisory session that Tsunade had given her, Aiko had realized that her modified idea should be kept close to the vest. If everyone would assume they knew the weakness of her technique (that she had to appear next to the seals, which was why Rock had always tried to steal Minato's kunai) then they wouldn't actually be making plans that took advantage of her real weaknesses, which were more along the lines of her repeated inability to transport more than twenty times without getting a nosebleed. That was a generally good sign that her regular cognitive function would be deteriorating as well, due to low oxygen levels.

'At least,' she amended, 'I hope that will keep anyone from finding out about my real problems until I can mitigate them.'

To that end, she had affixed seals to four kunai. Enough that she could set up an array if she needed to, but also few enough to convince a casual viewer that there was no reason to assume she'd done anything different if she just used the 'standard' Hiraishin.

It smacked of lying when she thought about keeping the information from Kakashi, one of the few people she really trusted. Then again, it wasn't like she'd ever been completely honest with another person in her living memory, and it would be hard to explain her apparently revolutionary idea without hinting at her extra, unexplainable knowledge. She'd tentatively decided to tell him about the modification with the weak explanation that it had just occurred to her, but only after she knew how he'd react to finding out that she'd been experimenting and hadn't told him. He'd respect that Tsunade had classified the information. That was what being in the chain of command meant, after all. But he wouldn't be happy about having been out of the loop in the first place.

He stopped first, and turned to face her. For once, she couldn't read his expression.

That was a little unnerving. She had learned to read what was really going on under that mask a long time ago. The only time it could really keep his thoughts (or reactions, at least) from her was if he was intentionally stilling his face.

That made this a conversation between a commander and his subordinate, not Kakashi-shishou and Aiko. She straightened accordingly and met his gaze levelly.

"What did the Hokage refer to as classified information?"

Aiko closed her eyes to steel her nerves, and slipped her left hand into her kunai pouch where the special kunai were being kept. He had no doubt noticed the extra weaponry. She opened her eyes as she flung it to the left, and flipped positions to catch it just before the tip touched a tree trunk… without moving her unbent legs or turning her face. She turned to face him again, somewhat comforted by the extra distance. "That. When I was with Jiraiya, he gave me notes from a former student. I found his explanations and analyses of his process with the Hiraishin… so I deconstructed it and made my own adaption."

'Well, the mask isn't doing much good right now,' she noted with black humor. He looked shocked, an expression she'd never seen written so clearly before in his dropped jaw, raised eyebrow, and wide eye.

Weakly, he cleared his throat. "And you took this to Tsunade?"

She winced. Aiko had hoped he would forget that detail. "Ah, no. She found out when I got slightly overexcited with my first try and ended up with minor injuries. She classified it immediately, had me show her my seal, and then had me practice under her supervision."

"Minor injuries?"

"A nose bleed and a burst blood vessel in my eye from rapid changes in pressure."

Well, sort of, anyway. That was easier to explain.

He didn't even look like he was seeing her. Kakashi didn't look upset so much as nostalgic and mildly blindsided.

Aiko started to feel a bit irritated. Shouldn't he say something? Be mad or proud or something, not just stare over her shoulder?

As if he'd heard her thoughts, he gave a fake eye-smile. "I suppose this coincided with your decision to ask Gai for extra training? You know, you could have talked to me if you felt I wasn't giving you enough to do."

She flushed red. "That's not it!" Aiko cleared her throat and started again, more calmly. "That's not what I meant. I mean, Tsunade told me I wasn't allowed to use it because I'm not strong enough to deal with everyone who hates the Hiraishin. I was supposed to ask you for a more powerful attack when you got back, but then you taught me summoning right away."

The smile that followed was reflexive and natural. She loved the dogs, even though she didn't know most of them very well yet. Pakkun had even introduced her to a 'puppy' (puppy her ass, that dog was almost as big as Aiko) who needed a summoner and they were in the meet-and-greet stage.

"I see." Now he sounded proud, and a little amused. "Do you have the Hiraishin mastered, then?"

Aiko shrugged. "I have it pretty well under hand, but 'mastered' would be a strong word. The more I use it at once, the less precise I am.'

He cracked a smile. "That's amazing, Aiko-chan. You should have asked me. Maybe it's time for you to learn Rasengan. Your brother has it, after all."

She stared, the smile slipping off her face. Kakashi frowned at her, sensing the change in attitude.

"Why do you always do that," she blurted out, unthinkingly.

The far away gaze she'd noted a million times was gone, but she hadn't forgotten it. "Is something wrong?"

'This is a conversation I never wanted to have with you, that's what's wrong.'

Aiko took a deep breath. "I don't want to learn Rasengan."

He was very still, for a moment. Then he moved closer, as if trying to understand her. "Why not?"

"I don't think we should have this conversation." Aiko swallowed, hard, pushing back the words that she knew weren't a good idea to speak aloud.

"Aiko. Why don't you want to learn the Rasengan?"

'I can't say no to that face,' she thought miserably. And the words came out, hot and heavy with all the weight of the years where she'd never hinted at the thoughts she was expressing. "Shishou, sometimes you look at me like you don't even see me. You're seeing Minato or Kushina or some half-assed amalgamation of the two. I'm not either of my parents. That's why you pushed the chakra chains so much, right? Because Kushina was good at them. Well, I'm not nearly that good and I never will be," she added fiercely. 'I don't even want to be. I'm Aiko damnit, not Kushina.'

He was pale, but she was on a roll. "And I know that's why Jiraiya gave me those notes," she added quickly, letting something strange slip into her tone. "That's why he taught Naruto Rasengan. He thinks we're them too, not us."

"Who told you about your parents? I wasn't allowed to." His voice was quiet, and painfully devoid of inflection or tone.

And ohhh boy, wasn't that a loaded question?

"No one. Tsunade was going to tell me earlier, though. But I'm not stupid, you know. I don't know how anyone expected us to see the pictures in our textbooks and not see that Naruto looked exactly like the Fourth Hokage and we 'just happen' to have the last name of the one other S-class war hero from the last war." She didn't even try to hide the irritation. "The one who was famous for using chakra chains, which you were insistent I could learn." She leveled him with an unimpressed look. "It'd be almost harder not to figure it out if you have even the slightest interest."

Kakashi gave an odd chuckle, as if he didn't know what to think. "Sensei's in your textbooks? So it wasn't the hundred meter monument that clued you in, huh?"

"That's an awful likeness," she muttered. "Whoever made it shouldn't quit his day job."

He made a choking sound, twitching slightly. His head shook slightly, and he let his hand cradle his cheekbone, fingers splaying out over his eyes. The end result was that he looked like he had a massive headache.

"Right," he finally muttered, letting his hand slide up to his forehead and further up to ruffle at his hair. "I get it, adults are stupid. I held similar sentiments at one point. What does that have to do with not wanting to learn Rasengan? It's a very powerful move, and Naruto learned it in record time. It's your legacy."

"Well, I'm not Naruto either," she snapped irritably. He looked a little unnerved by the uncharacteristic temper, leaning back slightly. It was clear he was uncomfortable. She'd known he had no stomach for emotions, and that logic was the way to get through to him. If she wanted Kakashi to take her seriously, she had to remain as calm as possible. But at this point she was on a roll. She'd told him exactly why she didn't want to learn it and he just didn't want to understand. Shishou was far too intelligent to not understand the concept. It just wasn't that hard.

These were thoughts she'd had for years, but never expressed. They were practically heretical in the post-Kyuubi konoha, and wouldn't have made life any easier for Naruto.

But Uzumaki Kushina and Namekaze Minato weren't her parents. She didn't have parents, and didn't really think Naruto did either. If he wasn't desperate for parental affection, he'd probably come to the same conclusion.

What kind of parent died for their village when they had two infant children?

Her voice was cold. "I'm sick of you looking at me and seeing dead people, Kakashi." He recoiled as if struck. "Because that's what they are. Dead people that I never knew, who were never any sort of parents to me." She laughed bitterly. "They aren't anyone's parents. I'm more Naruto's parent than either of them. I raised him." She placed her hand on her chest and let it make a fist convulsively. "A good shinobi dies for their village. A good parent would have lived for their kid."

She turned away, courage failing. The words had been bottled up for fourteen years. This hadn't been the time to share them.

"It's like I don't know you," he said finally, quietly. Aiko screwed her eyes shut, breaths shuddering.

That had been an outcome she was afraid of. Kakashi had never liked her on her own merits. He'd only wanted her as a student because he looked at her and thought of Minato. She'd never considered either of those people her parents. She was an adult and she didn't need parents. Maybe she could acknowledge them as family in the same sense that Karin was, someone who she might like on a personal level if she got the chance, but that wasn't a parent.

Her hand clenched around her thigh, and she kept her voice carefully calm. It still broke a little. "Maybe it's not fair to them, but they're my feelings and I'm allowed to have them."

There was a moment of stillness, like a breath. Then the training ground was silent, and she knew she was alone. Aiko opened her eyes, took a calming breath as she roughly rubbed at her eyes, and made her way to the gate.

When she made it, all she saw of Kakashi was his back before he silently took off. Yamato gave her a distinctly baffled look that she answered with a glare. 'Mind your own damn business,' she thought fiercely. He was smart enough not to even try a conversation. The pace was brutal, and soon the genin were struggling.

Yamato carefully didn't look at either of his teammates. 'My tactical assessment is that something weird has happened.' He'd never seen Kakashi-shishou and Aiko so obviously on the outs with each other. He wasn't going to touch that situation with a ten-foot wooden pole, in no small part because Aiko would ask him if he was compensating for something. She looked to be in a mean mood.

Aiko had no idea what the second team of genin was named, and didn't even care enough to feel guilty about it. The trip proved that none of them were very interesting. Aside from Akira's easily rebuffed attempts to ingratiate herself with the upper level shinobi (Aiko had been relieved to find out that the girl had just wanted to snag herself an upper level sponsor, because that meant that she hadn't accidentally made a friend and then neglected her for months), everyone stayed in their own squads.

'Wind Country hasn't gotten any more pleasant,' she grouched internally as, over the course of a day of running, the trees got shorter and dirt turned to sand. Breathing in such dry air was an uncomfortable transition, and they had to stop twice to allow the younger teams to catch their breath and adjust to the dryness in their mouths. Without words, the senior nin stopped and set up camp for the night the third time that the genin couldn't go on. The second day of travel was just as painfully silent as the first. Even the genin eventually managed to shut their mouths and just concentrate on running.

Kakashi still didn't look at her.

Sand was pleased to see them show up. They were somewhat less pleased when the low level of the two younger teams became known (although annoyingly, they seemed to think Aiko was the third team member for the boys' team and that the tall one with the stupid hair was the Chuunin).

'I'm not that short,' she glowered. 'A year ago, I was the tall one, you stupid fucks.'

The teams separated, a team of Chuunin waving for them to wait and taking the genin with them to the wall. Aiko waited, dull-eyed and uninterested while Yamato fidgeted and Kakashi looked uncharacteristically professional. She only managed to drum up some interest when she realized she recognized all three members of the team that touched down in the clearing and stood to look at them.

Granted, she only knew of Baki in the vaguest sense. She might not have recognized him if Temari and Kankuro weren't on either side of him… and both giving her weird, assessing looks. She bared her teeth in response, not feeling up to taking anyone's shit today. Normally she'd fake nonchalance and deflect aggression around foreign nin to avoid getting into a fight. It was what she had done in past, when she first met them in Sand and they decided to act like jackasses for no reason. But today she was pissed off.

When they simultaneously paled and exchanged 'creeped-out' looks, she had to wonder if her scary face wasn't a little too scary.

(Temari grimaced, trying not to cringe. 'It looks like when Gaara tries to smile.'

'I was kind of expecting a tiger with lipstick,' Kankuro thought optimistically. 'By comparison, she seems very nice. Nicer than a girl that I thought Gaara would tolerate and take out for ice cream would be, anyway.')

Kakashi gave Aiko a sharp look, devoid of any of the usual affection. She huffed and turned away sullenly. So that's how it was. He provoked people all the time, and they'd started it anyways.

If the world had been a fair place, she would have been led to her room and allowed to go do her best to drown herself in the shower, maybe scream into pillow for a bit and write an angry poem. But it was a shitstorm of totally unfair suckiness designed to make even the worst of days worse, so that was when some shrieking harpy landed in the clearing, heralding what was probably the worst surprise attack in the history of ninja that hadn't been orchestrated by Naruto.

Yamato cut her down in an instant, looking almost surprised that he was the first one to move.

"That's just perfect," Aiko muttered, angrily yanking the sword on her back out of the hilt with an icy sliding sound that matched her bad mood nicely. Kankuro was moving to arm himself as well, his oversized doll flying off his back and leading the way into the trees. Baki overtook him in a breathless moment, hitting the next visible Sound ninja so hard he flew into a tree. Temari was waiting to slice him into pieces with a wind blade attack from her iron-tipped fan. The corpse collapsed, jaw falling open grotesquely and intestines spilling out, lung tissue splattering the ground and even onto Temari's front.

Kankuro just pouted and mumbled something bitter about them being glory hogs. As Temari actually took the time to stick her tongue out at her brother (completely disregarding the flesh sticking soppily to her kimono), the Konoha nin leapt into the fray. Honestly, what kind of surprise attack was staggered entire seconds apart?

The brutally short altercation that followed served to prove that the ninja they were facing were…

"Total incompetents," Temari growled, kicking a corpse irritably. "Most of them are no-name genin and shit like that from various villages, missing nin that no one cared about. I don't know what the hell Sound does, but they've all been genetically altered and sent out to fight." She sneered and wiped a bit of loose hair off of her face. "I don't know where Sound is getting all of them, though. They just keep coming."

"Seems like a waste of expensive resources," Yamato mused, mildly interested (and somehow managing to look like a mild-mannered librarian even through the blood spatter on his face). "Those genetic alterations can't be cheap. Why wouldn't they bother to give them at least basic tactical training?"

The six-man squad they'd fought… well, it hadn't been much of a squad. They fought like overpowered Academy students, with no sense of strategy or teamwork. She could see why the border Chuunin teams might have problems with them, but with a few Jounin to oppose them they were hopelessly outmatched.

"Please tell me you have showers at this base of yours," Aiko interjected, wishing she'd thought to pull up the mask attached to her shirt. 'God, I hate getting blood on my lips.' It was so hard not to lick them when she kept feeling them stick and crackle.

The look on Kankuro's face wasn't encouraging. She narrowed her eyes at him.

Omake- one that was actually requested!

Inoichi hummed cheerily in the way that his wife hated, tugging his hair into the standard ponytail. Then he stopped and frowned at his wrist, realizing that his black rubber band wasn't where it should be. He looked around the floor, but didn't spot it.

"That's strange..."

He shrugged and re-secured his left hand's grip on the ponytail, striding down the hallway and elbowing open his daughter's door. "Ino, honey, can I borrow a hair tie?"

She looked up from her spot on her bed, laying on her back with a book held above her face and leveled him with a thoroughly unimpressed look. "Dad, you've got to stop borrowing my hair stuff. I want my mousse back. But fine." she rolled her eyes in that 'teen girl' way and turned her attention back to her book. "You can have the lavender one on the dresser."

"Thanks, sweetheart." He snatched up the tie in question and wrapped it around his hair twice with a look of intense concentration that he caught in the mirror. He turned his head from side to side to appreciate the perfect way the hair fell, before his mind caught up with the thoroughly uncharacteristic detail that his daughter was reading a real book unprompted. It had been months since he'd last seen her with anything other than those terrible magazines that he'd gotten sick of and banned. ('120 ways to please your man indeed,' he thought vindictively. Not for his baby girl!)

"So, got a new book?"

She grunted distractedly. "I borrowed it from Aiko. It's really good, dad. You should read that one there, with the green cover. I finished it already." She curled them up and lifted one knee to cross her legs, letting her ankle swing idly.

"Oh?" He let an eyebrow raise. It was hard to believe his baby had much in common with the Uzumaki girl for reading tastes. From what Ino had told him (repeatedly and loudly at the dinner table) back when they were in the academy together, she was a straight-laced brainiac with very little humor or personality, but a general good nature.

Curious as to what Ino might have found so interesting, he bent to pick up the first book off the short stack beside her bed, and immediately noticed something odd. "This is a drugstore diary..."

'Ino, you're not reading the poor girl's journals, are you?' He gave her a suspicious glance, but she appeared more absorbed than amused.

"Yeah, she wrote them," Ino said distractedly a second later, turning a page and blinking over at him briefly.

He stilled. That was odd. Skeptically, he glanced down at the pile by his daughter's bed. It wasn't impossible, per say, that a fourteen year old with a full-time job could have written six books, but it did seem unlikely that they were any good. Inoichi fought a very short war with his skepticism, but his innately nosy nature won out and he flipped open the green book.

A page in, he sat down hard on Ino's pink chair and really began to concentrate. That was how his wife found them. She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you two. Breakfast is cold and you're both late for work."

Ino shot up like a rocket, suddenly alarmed. "Oh crap!" She cringed away from the scolding that curse prompted but dashed around her room shoving gear into her little pouch and tugging up her own hair with a brush and some bobby pins.

"Ino, leave that book." She gave him an odd look.

"Dad, I'm not done with it."

He gave her a stern look. "You can finish it later. Don't tell your little friend I borrowed these, okay?"

There was no normal fourteen year old that wrote like this. 'Maybe that's why she was given to Hatake,' he hypothesized years too late. 'Weird, socially disinclined geniuses should stick together and all that.' Tsunade didn't seem to know about this. He'd gone to her strategy meetings with Shikaku before, and the Hokage brought up Naruto more often than she probably realized. It had been almost impossible for her total lack of knowledge about his sister to come up.

'At the very least, it'll provide an interesting read while I wait outside her office,' he thought smugly. 'And an excuse for being late to the office.'

[thania-keiji-gf]

THEY REACTIONS ABOUT YOU DON'T WANT TO DRINK THE MEDICINE (ft. SICK!GF)

featuring by

-> various characters from Haikyuu!!

genre

-> mostly fluff, kinda crack, and a bit humor

summary

when you're on sick day, your boyfriend is spend his time to taking care of you. it's going well until the medicine drink time is showed up. you don't want drink it. then, how their reaction to dealing with that situation?

» 100/10 : The Sweetest!

"come on, sweetheart. this is not bitter as you expect. i already thinking about it, that's why i was bought you the kids medicine with fruit flavor. it's sweet and not bitter. so, do you want to drink it for me, my sweet cheeks?"

he's literally the sweetest. has a experience to taking care of you when you're sick, make him knew about your bad habit. so, he dedicated to always bought you the one of kids medicine when you're on the sick day.

-> SUGAWARA, Kita, AKAASHI, Tendou, YAMAGUCHI, Kageyama, ENNOSHITA, YAKU, Komori, KENMA, Ushijima

» 8.7/10 : The Dumbass

"we're sharing the one braincell, hahaha. i don't like drink the medicine either, same like you baby. who needs medicine, if you can healed by cuddling with me? that's the true fact in our relationship, isn't? hahaha."

100% the opposite from the first one. he's the worse, if you don't wanna drink the medicine then yeah—don't drink it. he won't forced you or looking for another way to make you drink your medicine. the only things that he thinks in his head is just "cuddle with me and you will healed faster."

and yeah, he's literally the dumbass.

-> ATSUMU, BOKUTO, Nishinoya, TANAKA, Suna, LEV, Hinata, Hoshiumi, KUROO, Osamu, OIKAWA

» 2/10 : The Meanie One

"uh? you dont wanna drink the medicine? okay, it's not my problem. just enjoy your sick day by yourself. because, i don't have time to looking at someone who choose to stay sick when they're having a chance to drink the medicine to get well fast."

of course he's being the worst. saying that sharp words to your tiny little heart in the situation when you're sick. maybe he's being mean in that time because he should dealing with your stubborn side that always dominate yourself on your sick day. ngl, it's annoying and irritated him.

but—he's feel guilt, more worried, and annoying at the same time. you're always make he feels bad after scolding you. yes, he's the simp in you two relationship (for really). no need much time after he leaving you alone in your room, he will comeback fives minutes later with hand that bring the medicine which is you can see as the kids medicine with fruit flavor. your favorites flavor. don't forget his lazy face that always look annoying in your eyes.

"this kids medicine actually is not for your age, you dummy. just wishes this is enough to healed you. because, i'm so done about it."

-> TSUKISHIMA, Kunimi, SHIRABU, Iwaizumi, FUTAKUCHI, Konoha, DAICHI

— thania's note

it's my first reactions with so many characters in it :D i'm so excited. even, i make sure i'm writing this very careful to avoiding so many mistake. but if there's still grammar mistake, i'm so sorry :( English is not my first language, i'm still learning about it. i hope you understand <3 see you in my next works ^.^

[dreadsuitsamus]

👀

this is from a kakashi wip!

He feels like such a hypocrite as he wanders to your stand once again. He's just bought plenty of groceries, and yet he was still heading out to eat for dinner. It's almost summertime, and the setting sun presses some last bits of heat into his jacket as he walks to the street food center of the village.

It was just past the usual dinner rush, so your stand was empty and you were starting to clean up when he stepped up to the cart. "Yo." He murmurs, sharing a smile. "Am I too late to order?"

You narrow your eyes, and Kakashi watches as your mask pulls against the pout your lips made as you debate serving him. Today your mask, pearls and makeup are a deep green color, reminiscent of emeralds. "I dunno... It was hot today; I'm sweaty and tired!"

Kakashi laughs softly and does his best to make his eye look pleading. "Please? I'll pay double."

"Well, how can any reputable vendor say no to that?" You grin, the apples of your cheeks rising just a bit. "What'll you have?"

"Squid is fine." He likes what you serve, but he never did come for the food. So variety isn't entirely necessary.

"Yes sir. One freshly prepared squid, coming up!"

Kakashi pulls his book from his pack and tries focusing on the words he's read hundreds of times. But you were humming as you prepared his food, a bead of sweat dripping from your temple and to the side of your mask. In the winter, masks are nothing but optimal. In the Konoha summers, however, the tables were turned. Kakashi knows exactly the struggle you're facing; it's no wonder you were ready to close up shop and go home.

He closes the book after realizing he'd been on the same page for far too many minutes. He watches as another bead of sweat falls down your face, his tongue gently wetting his lips. Oh how he wanted to just rip his mask off and lick-

"Pay up, Hatake!"

Blinking, Kakashi hopes his man downstairs isn't betraying his thoughts as he trades his hard-earned wages for a fresh piece of squid. "Keep the change." He says hoarsely, clearing his throat and damning himself for being such an idiot in broad daylight.

"Oh, you're generous today." You tease and officially close the stand, ready to lug it on home. "Just so you know, I'm taking a vacation starting tomorrow. But just 'cause I'm gone doesn't mean you can go see what my competitors got to offer now, got that?!" You cross your arms, a mean glare in your eyes.

[rrazor]

hq boys as non-sexual things that feel sensual

tags: mildly suggestive content (mostly pining)

bokuto: certain phrases are very sexually charged; “make me,” or “what are you gonna do about it” lunch time!! bokuto comes back from the cafeteria with his pork-cutlet sandwich to see you engaged in a card game with three other people. He sees that everyone’s bet something and you bet a strawberry danish you bought this morning and bokuto’s eyes go 🤩 he forces himself in LMFAO and makes sure to sit next to you 🥰❤️ in the end, it’s only you and him left (konoha and komi come over from their classes to see what all the fuss is about and they’re like …..how is bokuto doing so well 😶)

but you win and steal his sandwich on the desk 😈 he tries to defame you for cheating lol but all you do is look at him coyly like “and what are you gonna do about it, bokuto-kun? 😇” and suddenly his tongue feels heavy and his cheeks flush and he’s all 🥺👉👈 he asks you for the bread back because its his only lunch 😭💀 but he ends up winning sm more because you offer to share your bento with him and his heart goes 🥰💖💞

akaashi: sitting next to someone and your shoulders/thighs touch it’s the sports festival!! and it’s lunch break. he spots you sitting on a bench and he starts sweating at the idea of sitting next to you but he wants to be near you somewhat because then MAYBE you’ll talk to him??!? hopefully 🥺💔

he swallows his nerves and sits on the bench too but on the other side with a huge gap between you and your friend. he pulls out his phone to look “busy” LMFAO then, more of your friends come over and suddenly, you’re snug against him, your BARE THIGH touching his because you’re both in shorts and akaashi thinks he gonna pass out with the bashful apology you give him 😵 he thanks every deity he can think of that your friends came over and STAY because your leg is still touching his and he’s holding a conversation with you 😭🥺🥳💕💖❤️😍

konoha: having someone use your keyboard standing up while you’re sitting in front of it you’re in one of the school’s computer labs working on a research essay. akinori sits next to your station, having worked up the courage earlier to ask you if you could help him with his. he sneaks glances at you at the printers as you refill the trays with more paper 👀 he blushes even though you aren’t even doing anything to him 😭😔💔

before he can stop himself, he calls your name lmfao 🗣 but manages to save himself from utter embarrassment by asking you to look over one of his passages. coming over, you lean over him, hands on his keyboard as he leans back. his eyes are wide and cheeks ruddy as he tries so hard to keep cool because you’re so close 😍🥺💕 and god does he hope what he wrote was coherent because he thinks he’d d-word if you said it made no sense 😓😵

kuroo: when you’re sitting next to someone and they lean over and reach across you to grab something another day, another group project. kuroo gets added to a group with you and another guy because he was absent for volleyball. the two of you push your desks next to him and he’s fist pumping internally because you’re sitting next to HIM and not the other guy and he gets to act as the barrier AHAHAH 😇🥳😛

you’re working together when you ask one of your friends to pass over the notes she took from you. she’s sitting in front of kuroo, but diagonally to the right so she leans back and you lean forward to grab the papers. your arm accidentally brushes his chest and kuroo short circuits 😶 you’re SO CLOSE and your body is nearly laid over his entire desk and if he moves his hands up he could probably touch your chest HJAKHSDLKASD 👁👄👁 the guy next to him looks at him all 😐 as kuroo goes INSANE 🤯

kita: hugging from behind he’s home alone, studying in the living room for his university exams. you’re in the kitchen with his grandma helping her with tonight’s dinner. he smiles softly to himself hearing the two of you laugh 😊🥰💞

he’s halfway through a derivatives question when you hug him from behind, arms coming around him as you rest your head on his shoulder blades 🥺💘 when you softly tell him dinner is almost ready, his chest warms and a soft smile appears on his face ❤️💖

atsumu: the guys strapping you in on a roller coaster. are we gonna kiss? why are you giving me that eye contact? inarizaki’s vbc get together to go to the local amusement park!! they get in and the first thing the twins want to do is ride all of the roller coasters so after a ridiculously long line up, atsumu’s sitting next to osamu, waiting for an attendant to come buckle them in, when you suddenly come up in your cute uniform and hair tied up and atsumu’s like SHIT ITS YOU 😳 also damn y didn’t you tell him you worked here he could have gotten discounted tickets smh 🥴😒

anyways you come up to them to buckle them up with him first and he doesn’t really notice anything but you buckle the first strap really tight and he’s like “does it need to be so tight 😘” and you tell him, making eye contact, using your best customer service voice (vocal bottoming but at least you get paid) and with a pretty smile on your face that doesn’t reach your eyes, “yes, unless you want to die. and if you do, don’t do it on this ride because my shift ends in ten minutes and i don’t want to stay here to write a report about a dumbass who ko’d on a roller coaster 🥰” and he BLUSHES oop— 👁👅👁

osamu: having your back scratched you sit next to each other in class and it’s self study time and you’re helping him with the english homework that was assigned when his back starts feeling itchy. he rolls and moves his shoulders to try to alleviate it, but it just isn’t working so he brings a hand back to scratch at it, but he’s not flexible enough to reach it 😔 you ask him what’s wrong and he puts his arm down like he got burned because he doesn’t want to be seen doing something weird in front of you or making a weird face so he just says nothing but you raise a brow and go “are you itchy?” and he nods JAJCKKAD

you bring your arm up to where he was just scratching, “here?” a shake of his head, “no, a little to the right.” AND YOU SCRATCH RIGHT AT IT!!!!! he can feel his shoulders slump as he closes his eyes and groans a little WHOOP he’s SUPER EMBARRASSED but you just laugh it off and scratch him some more before going back to work and he looks at you like 🥺💖 why’d you stop?? even though you’re not even looking at him LOL 😞 touches his back that night in the shower like your hands were so small 😯😍😳 and maybe he should be itchy more often but it also quickly turns to she better not be touchy feely with anyone else 😒

suna: someone writing on your arm he’s forced to take this one evening class this semester because it’s not offered the next one and he needs to take it because it’s a prereq for almost every other course ugh but at least the cute girl who sits next to him lets him copy her notes LMFAO 😭💀 he left all his belongings in the gym’s lockers because he was going to go back anyways for practice so when the professor gives out a code for a free trial of the software they have to use for the homework assignment due in a week, he’s like shit; he left his phone in his bag 🤡💔

you offer to write it down on his arm, grabbing a pen from your pencil case. he nods like sure why not so you take his arm and push the sleeve of his hoodie up and start writing and he just stares at you 👀 your writing is cute and he kinda likes the feel of your hands on him 🤧 class ends and you part ways with a wave. It’s not until he’s reached the gym that he realized you could have just messaged the code to him on facebook 🤨 so he pushes his sleeve up and sees your phone number on his arm under the code 😘 aren’t you smooth!!! 😌

iwaizumi: when someone is putting the car in reverse and they put their hand on the back of your seat iwaizumi been interested in you for a while, and ever since he came to the revelation he finds it really hard to talk to you because he’s afraid of coming off too aggressive or you figuring it out 😔💔 good thing kindaichi reveals that you’re his older cousin and that you’ll be driving some of them to their next practice match because the volleyball team’s bus is out for a checkup!! 😍😘 oikawa, matsukawa and hanamaki all force him to sit shotgun as you drive (even kunimi and yahaba get in on it). iwaizumi grumbles about it and all but he’s secretly super happy he gets to be right next to you omg 👀😭 he takes a bunch of glances around the interior of your (parents’) car and sits a little straighter than he usually would.

he can feel the stares on the back of his head from the other third years egging him on to make a move and just when he works up the nerve to say something to you, you put the car in reverse to back out the parking spot and put your hand on the back of his seat 😳😤 iwaizumi thinks you look so cool AND HOT he clams up and just stares at you with his jaw slightly open 👁👄👁 💕pls save him 🤧

matsukawa: when a girl puts her hand up to yours and remarks on how yours is so much bigger you got randomly paired up with each other to do a presentation for your world history class and so you’re sitting next to each other on a saturday afternoon at the public library doing research together. matsukawa spent more time than he would like thinking about what to wear because he doesn’t want you to think that his fashion sense was as grotesque as the school’s khaki pants 😷🤢 (when you complimented him nonchalantly about how he looks a million times better in casual clothes compared to the school uniform and joking said that he should start a petition to get rid of the school’s ugly khaki plaid pants and skirts and use a photo of what he was wearing today as the main piece of evidence, he almost doubles over 💀)

you’re sitting next to each other and he’s still kinda reeling from the previous interaction ahjdalhd but he does his best to pull his weight. he’s taking notes in a notebook and you look over and comment out of the blue that his hands are really big as you look at yours 🤧👀 he blinks and looks at you like “yeah?” and you nod, putting your hand up and he does it too because he thinks he’s having a fever dream at this point, but not even in his wildest dream did he’’d ever think you’d push your palm against his and say “your hand is so big! 😳” he has to excuse himself to go to the washroom to scream 😘🥰❤️

hanamaki: when you’re sitting next to someone on public transport and the centrifugal force from the vehicle firmly mooshes the two of you together hanamaki pines for you silently and you can’t really tell he likes you because he’s pretty decent at keeping his emotions hidden. or maybe you’re just so busy with your senior year you don’t notice anything that isn’t the impending doom of university applications and keeping your grades up 😤😇 anyways the two of you get on and off at the same stop each day (which he secretly thanks god for 😭) and you’re sitting next to each other and hanamaki thinks he’s gonna combust because you’ve never been this close!! 🥺🥰

he can feel his hands getting sweaty already. hanamaki sneaks glances at you and tries to see what you’re doing on your phone LMFAO suddenly, the train lurches a bit and you slide from the inertia right into his side and then he can feel the warmth coming from your thighs, side and your shoulder are touching holy sh— 😭❤️😵👀💖 you look up to apologize as he takes a breath and you’re a little shy in your apology but he takes that chance to ask you about something mundane and he makes you laugh!!!! he thinks about the interaction for the next two weeks because he finally got to talk to you dhaskld ☺️🥺💕

kyoutani: when anyone raises their arms to stretch and their shirt gets lifted up slightly gym class—you’re doing timed runs today!! kyoutani is already finished with his so he’s just sitting off the side of the track, staring not-so-subtly at you but you don’t notice because it’s your turn next!! you’ve got the typical school mandated shorts and plain t-shirt on but kyou is all 👀 at your tastefully exposed skin. he thinks you look pretty with the sun hitting your face as you give a smile to your friend, squinting at the sun light 🥰

he’s just mindlessly staring at this point but then you raise your arms to stretch your triceps and the hem of your shirt rises up a little to expose the tiniest sliver of skin before it’s covered again 👁👁 his cheeks pink a little and you catch him looking LMFAO but you don’t think anything of it and just smile and wave as kyoutani burns bright red, heart battering against his ribs and looks away 😡🤡🥰💕 he saves it for future reference HURDURDUR 😇😛

ushijima: when a woman does that thing where she tucks her hair behind her ear while making direct eye contact ushijima is INTERESTED in you, likes you, is intrigued, would like to hold your hand and rub the back of your hand and feel the soft skin with his thumb—same thing 🥰 you’re talking to him about something for the cultural festival and he’s nodding along to what you’re saying because you’re so brilliant and responsible for working on the school festival committee wOW 🤩

time seems to move in slow motion as you look up him whilst tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. he zones in on the shy smile on your face, your cute cheeks, glossy lips and pretty eyes 🥺🥰 “ushijima-san?” “yes?” “what do you think?” “that’s a great idea, I will ask my team members for their input as well.” you nod exuberantly even though he has no idea what you’re talking about but your cute smile makes him all mushy on the inside 💖💕

semi: making eye contact with another customer at the grocery store around the same age it’s 2:11pm on a tuesday and semi’s at the grocery store because it’s summer and his mom was all “go to the store and buy these shimeji mushrooms for me, eita, they’re on sale!!! but only until 3pm so get skedaddling!” 😩 so he’s here and he swears housewives are the most powerful people on the planet because he thought he was gonna d-word just tryna get his discount mushrooms. he spots you in the condiments aisle looking at sesame oil and he gives you the up, down and lingers a little too long on your exposed legs 💀

he thinks you look really cute in your t-shirt and jean shorts though 🥰 when you look up and make eye contact with him and give him a little smile and wave he BLUSHES 🥺 and is right about to take the chance to talk to you but a granny hip checks him trying to get to the soybean paste and he almost trips and lands on his face 😔💔 so much for looking cool in front of you 😢🥺

tendou: having someone else play with your hair satori sees you on cleaning duty carrying the recycling to the bins as he finishes his runs around the school, about to make a turn to the gyms. he makes a beeline for you, calling your name with a bright smile on his face and waving his arms in the air. 🥰💞🥺

he bounds up to you and offers to help even though the bin is really light, cheeks warming at your smile 😊 when he takes the bin out of your hands , you wave your hand to get him to bend down. he complies, eyes widening when he feels your hand in his hair. he straightens up to see you holding onto a couple pieces of cherry blossom petals 🌸 he laughs bashfully; it feels like time has slowed and you’re the only two people in the world 💖💕

sakusa: if you’re on a pc/laptop, somebody leaning over your shoulder to look at the screen with you. the close proximity of your faces can feel awkwardly sexual you’re in the same kinesiology class and sakusa first noticed how GOOD your presentations are wtf and he’s even more impressed when he hears that you winged the whole thing because “i conveniently forgot about this until one in the morning when I decided it was a good time to reorganize your entire dorm room” ALSO you offered him hand cream the one time you caught him staring and against all reason he said yes and ever since he’s been dying to ask you where you got it from because HOLY was it nice 😍

you get paired up for the final pair presentation and he’s only become more interested in you! you’re easy to talk to and don’t pry too much and he finds himself oversharing at times 💀 the professor gives the class part of the lecture time to work on the projects so you’re sitting next to each other working when he asks you a question about the academic article he just found and you lean over his shoulder to look at his screen 👁👁 for anyone else, the close proximity of your faces would have grossed him out but he can’t stop thinking about how good you smell and how cute your ears look 👀🥰 when you tell him he’s found a really good source with an excited smile on your face, he BLUSHES and promptly wants to pass away because he has no mask on to cover him 🤡😭😵

sachiro: when you have a melting popsicle, there often comes a time where you must choose between eating it too quickly, or sucking it off so it doesn’t drip on you sachiro hums happily, holding your hand as the two of you walk home after your date and stopping at the convenience store where he buys the two of you popsicle sticks 😋

you’re talking about something funny you saw hoshiumi do in the class the other day when your popsicle drips onto you. you kitten lick at your hand and take the whole thing in your mouth to get rid of the more liquidy parts of your ice cream and sachiro is all 👁👄👁 he swallows thickly, cheeks warming and heart beating a little faster; why’s he suddenly so thirsty? 🥵💦🙈

gao: getting a strong whiff of somebody’s perfume when they pass you gao really wants to talk to you, like really really wants to talk to you 😖😭🙏 but you’re talking to your friends about something and the cute way you laughs and joke with them has him all 🥺🥰🤩

he’s about to walk up and join the conversation because let’s face it, gao isn’t afraid of much 🤧💀 too bad the teacher calls you back into the classroom about something. when you pass him, he gets a good whiff of your shampoo and his stomach flutters 😍😊🥺💕💖 follows you with sparkly eyes and wishes he made the choice to talk to you sooner 💔

futakuchi: bending over to pick up something you dropped kenji is watching (glaring) as you talk to one of the baseball team’s starting players 🤐 he’s so ticked but he doesn’t admit it like where does this guy get off making you laugh and smile like that wtf 😒🙄 luckily for kenji, the guy gets pulled away by the class rep for something so kenji calls your name to get you to look at him instead 😤

you come over and just as he’s about to stand up from his desk, he knocks over his eraser. you crouch down to pick it up and he finds himself really liking it 👁👁 he doesn’t get it either 🤡 like you aren’t bending and snapping—just folding your knees to get his eraser for him, but the way you tucked your hair behind your ear before you bent down so prettily has him ☺️😉🥵

terushima: when you’re eating and chatting with someone and they lick their lips yuuji pulled you away from your friends when it was time for lunch, wanting to spend more time with you one on one. he was so busy with volleyball and school lately 😞 and when he managed to get you to tell him how lonely you felt without him, he made it his mission to spend more time with you!!! 🥰😘💕

you’re eating together, sharing food and talking about everything and anything when he notices you lick your lips; he zones in on your little pink tongue as it swipes across your bottom lip 👁👁 “yuuji, you okay?” a hand on your cheek and suddenly, he’s kissing you. he tastes like the leftovers your mom packed you for lunch 🥰😋

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[kythed]

haikyuu!! + thanksgiving

the hq men as your boyfriend when you bring them home at thanksgiving for the first time

because thanksgiving is in a couple weeks! ik not all of us celebrate it but just pretend LOL

karasuno

sugawara koushi: marches into your kitchen wearing a little red apron and brandishing a spatula. the only thing he can really do is open the cranberry sauce and plate it, but he certainly looks very cute while doing so.

azumane asahi: eats two bowls of vanilla ice cream for dessert. is also violently lactose intolerant. you do the math.

nishinoya yuu: sprays this God-awful fruity cologne all over himself and walks into the house smelling like princess peach’s asshole. you force him to sit outside until it wears off. (spoiler alert: it doesn’t.)

hinata shouyo: frantically rakes up all the leaves in your yard into a huge pile and rolls around in it. later finds out he is in fact allergic to leaves and uses up an entire bottle of cortisone cream trying to soothe his hives. your relatives all think he has chicken pox and interact with him minimally.

kageyama tobio: comes early to help with the cooking— your mom makes him stuff the turkey and he nearly cries when he has to stick his hand in.

sawamura daichi: gets to talking with your dad and you almost have a heart attack when you see them on the couch in identical slouched positions with beers in hand-- they’re practically twins. starts calling you “pumpkin” and “peanut” after the encounter.

tanaka ryunosuke: gives a loud, tipsy toast to “the pilgrims and their funky little hats” after a couple drinks.

yamaguchi tadashi: ran a turkey trot 5k earlier in the morning with you. his entire body is sore— he can’t even sit down without tearing up so he lies face down on your living room carpet for most of the night.

tsukishima kei: literally disappears an hour into dinner and doesn’t pick up his phone. the next day you find out he left to get takeout down the street instead and just never came back.

nekoma

kozume kenma: ends up quietly sitting at the kids’ table for some unknown reason?? it’s chill though; he teaches them how to make handprint turkeys.

haiba lev: also tries to sit at the kids’ table, but they’re understandably terrified of his gigantic 6’4” self and run away when he approaches. it really hurts his feelings and he spends the rest of the night sulking.

kuroo tetsurou: announces he unironically voted for kanye and subsequently gets into a vicious political argument with your drunk uncle. 20 minutes later they’re singing a tearful rendition of “danny boy” with their arms around each other’s shoulders.

morisuke yaku: rants about how much he hates british people.

inuoka sou: pretends to be british.

shiratorizawa

ushijima wakatoshi: walks in with the stage presence of a greek god, gives your mom a huge bouquet of peonies, and thanks her for allowing him to come to dinner. she nearly faints.

tendou satori: wears a bow tie and a monocle. your mom introduces him to the family as your gay best friend— it’s not a great night for him.

semi eita: compliments your grandma’s hair cut. two hours later she’s sitting next to him with an album in hand, showing him all your embarrassing baby pictures. yes, including the naked ones.

tsutomu goshiki: drinks three hard ciders without realizing they’re alcoholic and ends up very giggly and very touchy-- and not just to you. you take him home early.

shirabu kenjirou: shows up two hours late, pretends he’s been there the entire time, and acts offended when your relatives don’t remember him.

aoba johsai

oikawa tooru: charms every single woman at the party in true oikawa fashion. at the end of the night your newly divorced aunt slips him a piece of paper with her number on it. he reassures you he isn’t going to call her-- but he also doesn’t throw it away.

iwaizumi hajime: your brother-in-law challenges him to an arm wrestling contest. iwa crushes him five times in a row without batting an eye and gives him a very respectful thumbs up afterwards.

hanamaki takahiro: makes friends with that weird third cousin who no one really knows but just kinda shows up. you see them making a secret handshake.

matsukawa issei: everyone actually loves him, but for some reason they all think he’s an accountant. has he been telling them he’s an accountant??

kunimi akira: literally just pets the cat the whole night. ignores anyone who tries to talk to him unless they’re feline.

inarizaki

miya atsumu: he ends up gossiping with all your chatty aunties. when it’s time to go home he knows about fifty years of family secrets and enough blackmail material to last him a lifetime. scared? you should be.

miya osamu: truly God’s gift to thanksgiving, everything suga wishes he could be. owns a “kiss the cook” apron (that he bought for himself) and makes five types of boujee hors d'oeuvres. every single relative at the dinner tells you to marry him.

kita shinsuke: helps you mash the potatoes. you try to not ogle his biceps while he does so, but it’s very, very difficult. wipe that drool from the corner of your mouth-- it’s embarrassing.

suna rintarou: arrives wearing all black designer clothing, a luxury watch, and a haughty expression-- the perfect trophy boyfriend. your cousin says she thinks she saw him on a calvin klein ad last week. he tells her it was actually louis vuitton.

fukurodani

akaashi keiji: handwrites all the name cards in beautiful calligraphy the day before and brings a big bundle of dahlias and baby’s breath for floral centerpieces-- you’re pretty sure your mom would rather have him as a daughter instead.

bokuto koutarou: gets involved in the thanksgiving football game with your male cousins. he scores 75% of his team’s points and by the end of it they’re chanting his name and carrying him around the field; you have to deal with god-complex bokuto for the next week and a half.

konoha akinori: your dog will not stop humping his leg. he tries to stop it but there’s really no dignified way to do that, so he just suffers in silence.

date tech

futakuchi kenji: pulls you into the cleaning supply closet while everyone else is going for seconds. your little cousin comes in looking for paper towels and catches the two of you in a compromising position-- oh, well. it’s about time someone gave that kid the talk, anyways.

koganegawa kanji: accidentally clogs the toilet and has a near panic attack trying to unclog it before it overflows.

aone takanobu: surprisingly good at chess and plays several games with your great uncle while he talks about the war

other

terushima yuuji: after dessert he proudly ties a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue, hoping it’ll impress the table. it does not.

sakusa kiyoomi: doesn’t show up. i’m sorry, but let’s be real-- did you ever really expect him to?

[sukirainbow]

[+18 Fic] Third Wheeling

Fandom: NARUTO Rating: Explicit - 18+ Content Pairing: Nagato x Yahiko x Konan Characters: Nagato, Konan, Yahiko, Naruto, Kushina, Minato, Jiraiya, Sasuke, Mikoto, Itachi, Tsunade Content: Canon Divergence, Kushina brought the clan back together and now Nagato is her brother, Naruto also call the Ame trio big bro/sis dont ask me it’s a found family it doesn’t make sense, Trans Konan, baby nart, Fluff and Smut, a little pinch of sad nagato but it gets better, then they fuck, Polyamory Word count: 14954 - 13 chapters, complete work Summary: When Kushina heard from Jiraiya that he met another Uzumaki, she pressed him to bring him here for them to meet. Ever since, the Ame trio regularly visit Konoha to see the Uzumaki-Namikaze family. As Nagato takes care of his little brother, a little secret spilled by the young kid changes forever the relationship between the trio.

This is linked to the Uzumaki clan AU I drew on my art blog [1 2 3 4] I wanted to write Nagato realizing he's having envious feelings toward both his friends and trying to repress them by being the perfect third wheel.

Chapter one under the cut, read the rest on AO3

Chapter 1: They are finally dating

In October, the Ame trio came to visit Naruto's family, having promised to stay until Naruto's 6th birthday.

Nagato was staying with Naruto while his parents were on their busy schedule. Naruto was scribbling a drawing of a frog while his big brother was reading a book.

“When I'm done with it I'll give it to you!”

“Aw, that's very nice of you Naruto.”

“Heehee”

Nagato glanced up from the pages to see the little boy frantically coloring his frog with a very bright shade of green and smiled.

“If you want you can give this frog two friends so Yahiko and Konan can have one too.”

“Ohhh! Yes, a good idea!”

He abandoned his coloring to pick up a red crayon and added another round frog to the drawing, then another. After a bit he looked at his drawing proudly then looked at his big bro for approval. Nagato took the drawing to inspect it, smiled and ruffled the boy's hair to congratulate him.

“Thank you Naruto, it's very nice, I'm sure Yahiko and Konan will love it too.”

“Tell big sis Konan that I even added flowers on the frog for her just like the one she has!”

“She'll love it, Naruto. Good job.”

The little kid smiled and started another drawing then stopped and bit, thinking, then turned to Nagato.

“Big bro Nagato... Yahiko, Konan and you aren't related, right?”

“No we're not, it's just you and I who are of the same clan.”

“I knew it! Because I saw Yahiko and Konan kiss the other day!”

“Oh really?? They kissed? That's nice, it was about time.”

Yahiko and Konan had been mutually expressing interest in each other for a little while now. They've been timidly going out together and holding hands briefly and Nagato knew it was only a matter of time before they got closer.

Nagato's thoughts were interrupted as he heard the little boy's stomach gurgle. He smiled at him.

“Naruto, do you want to come with me? I'm going out to get some food.”

“Oh sure!!”

The little boy put his shoes on as quickly as he could and waited at the door while Nagato put his own on.

Nagato bought taiyakis for Naruto and himself and they wandered a bit around the market when suddenly Nagato froze. Naruto pulled on Nagato's black coat and asked him what was wrong.

“Oh, nothing lil bro. Look. There's Yahiko and Konan doing groceries over there.”

“OHH!! Let's join them!”

“NO- nononono. Look. They're holding hands!”

“Huh? And? I want to say hello to big sis Konan and big bro Yahiko!”

“Oh, I know sweetie, I'm sorry. But they're on a date right now, we shouldn't disturb them, let's have them enjoy their moment just the two of them.”

Nagato was looking at them smiling, as they both hid from the main street to be able to see them without being seen. But Naruto thought his big brother looked kind of sad in the way he smiled. Naruto pulled on his sleeve.

“Are you okay Nagato?”

“Hmm? Yeah don't worry. I was lost in my thoughts.”

He didn't know why, but watching his friends having fun like that without him kind of pinched his heart a little. He brushed the thought away from his mind and took Naruto's little hand to get him somewhere else.

Read it on AO3

[pinkhairedlily]

Happy birthday Naruto!

x x x 

It was an introductory B-class mission two towns away from Konoha, nothing they can’t handle. It can be done in half a day, if they hurried. In that time, Sakura learned that Naruto mastered rasengan, and he realized she could pack a punch. His cheek swelled with a lump, and Sakura, in her newfound cockiness reminiscent of their rogue teammate, refused to heal it.

On the trip back, Naruto insisted on taking the long way home. Along the sea. Sakura indulged his whim, even buying sparklers from a nearby vendor, and the two of them walked the length of the sandy shores draped in battling oranges and purple hues.

“Oy Naruto,” she called out. “Sit down with me for a while.”

“Eh? Don’t tell me you’re already tired Sakura-chan? I thought you trained with Granny?”

She flashed him a glare which he laughed off and slumped down next to her. He couldn’t stop grinning. After all, it seemed like a date. He had liked her since. But just how the night took over the sunset, Naruto knew something hovered over them.

“I just said yes to your little side trip because of this.” Sakura took a storage scroll out of her bag, and unsealed it. A two-tiered cake, an array of homemade dishes, and a bowl of his favorite ichiraku ramen appeared on top of the parchment paper. “It was a bother learning the markings,” a shrug, “but here we are.”

The annoyed glare was gone, replaced by that ever vibrant grin he had fallen for. “Happy birthday, Naruto.”

He shouldn’t cry. He trained to get stronger. At least he could pretend to act cool.

Ah but this was Sakura. His Sakura-chan. All his walls went down when it came to her. His teammate, his friend. He quickly dried his pooling lids on his orange sleeve. “Huh, I didn’t even remember it was my birthday.”

“As if, let’s eat. I’m famished.”

Sparklers dotted the end of that dinner, two of them hunched over the sand where the ashes dripped and disappeared. He pretended not to see the single sparkler left on the side — she bought three.

Naruto couldn’t remember much of the taste of the food, but he could perfectly recall the overwhelming sense to give back something to Sakura, even when it meant empty promises.

“Come on, wish something,” she urged him.

“I’ll get him back Sakura,” he said, “Sasuke will come back to us.” His grip on the thin sparkler tightened too much he almost shattered it. Over the ephemeral light and soft crackling noise, he saw her smile his way and truly looked at him. “Your turn to wish.”

She took a deep breath and released her wish. “You’ll be a hokage.”

He went slack-jawed, and she laughed. 

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to promise me that anymore, Naruto. That kind of thing — it’s the thing we have to do together. Not only you.” Her sparkler spewed its last embers. “But I’ll protect your dream this time. I’ll make sure you’ll reach it. You’ll be the hokage in the future. The /best/ hokage.”

“And what if I die?”

“I’ll revive you silly! Why else would I train under Tsunade-sama?”

“Hmm, maybe you want her eternal beauty?”

“Are you saying I’m not?”

“— Sakura-chan, that’s not —”

“You’re really asking for a beating huh?”

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Haikyuu manager headcanons!!

Okay so these adorable teams all have the softest spot for their tiny little manager-chan, and here's how they all treat her.

[Ari's note: okay manager fics and headcanons are my absolute favourite and I love writing them]

*.` | Karasuno

They are extremely laid back with you, compared to some of the other teams. They give you your space, at the same time listen to you when you have something to say.

Respectful simps. Similar to how they act with Kiyoko (ugh yes queen-chan) they're in tears whenever you do things to motivate them, like cheer at their practice matches or give them good luck charms.

They still have the good luck charms you fastened on their bag before one of the matches.

Tanaka and Noya would literally worship the ground which you walked on. Like wow how did they get so lucky as to have three?? Cute managers?? On their team??

Yachi and you would probably subtly simp over Kiyoko with them too ngl.

Hinata and Kags would probably see you as an older sister, eventho you're their age because you're so caring and responsible.

Suga is literally your mom and Daichi is your dad. They make sure you're all healthy and you're doing well in school.

Asahi gives you hugs whenever you're sad or upset! Fite me but I think this gentle baby gives the best hugs ever >:( he's like your comfort senpai and you'd do the same for him, especially when he's feeling insecure or down.

Yams would probably be very shy around you, but he'll warm up in time.

Ahhh the best part. Tsukki! He'd find you annoying and simply not get why you're so Mcfreaking happy at first (shut up u salty beanpole, manager-chan is just a ray of sunshine, okay?) But he soon finds it endearing and slowly gets closer to you.

You walk home with Yams and Tsukki every day since your houses are close, and Tsukki walks you to your door to make sure you're safe!

Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita all see you as a little sister and often help you with your managerial duties.

The team cares and respects you so much, and are so thankful you've joined them!!

Meat buns at Ukai's are your hangout spot, and everytime you see them chilling you're so thankful to have such great friends.

*.` | Aoba Johsai

Aaah we're at the team of one of my favourite characters!! I'll start with Oikawa (can't you tell I'm so biased omg)

Oikawa absolutely adores manager-chan because although she's tiny, she's very strict, and doesn't let his fangirls near the gym when he's practicing, which he appreciates.

"yn-chan, you're so good to me, can I take you out as a thank-you?" Cue Iwa-chan's ball which comes flying at Oikawa's head. "Stop flirting with the manager, shitty-kawa"

Iwa's very fond of you too, but he doesn't let it show too often. Sometimes he picks up your favourite coffee from the vending machine and claims that he bought it by "accident". (How believable<3)

Kunimi probably sends you weird tiktok videos and tags you in funny memes. Very wholesome 10/10.

Kyotani just?? Doesn't understand you?? Like wow, she's small but the team listens to her?? Why?? He later finds out you're the manager. Mad dork here didn't know you were managing the team for the past month, and thought you just came to the gym to watch them practice. Smh.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki give you headpats and like taking selfies with you, much to Oikawa's dismay. He wants to be the only one taking pictures with you.

Like no manager-chan. Stop. Get away from them. My phone's right here I wanna take selfies with you :(

Kindaichi is cool with you. Y'all are bros and you game together sometimes.

Watari and Yahaba join too, and they're surprised to know that you're so aggressive when you game.

Cue a jealous Oikawa who struggles learning how to game just so he's invited to play with you. Simp smh.

They're all very gentle with you, and since you're their first female manager, they make sure to never make you feel uncomfortable.

You guys like grabbing ramen together and having eating contests. They really bring out your aggressive side but you love them for it.

*.` | Shiratorizawa

Can I just say Semi bsf material? Yes? Yes. Semi Eita is best friend material.

Makes you cute little Spotify playlists and you help him write lyrics to songs occasionally. You play an instrument too and you guys can just jam out for hours on end together.

You get the idea of applying to be the manager because of him, and it all took off from there.

Goshiki loves you. You're fond of your kohāi, and you genuinely just give this touch-starved future ace a lot of hugs and cuddles, which he's SO grateful for.

Like wow, y/n-chan isn't just pretty?? She's also so sweet? And smart? And capable? Semi why have you been hiding her for so long??¿ >:(

Goshiki is just so protective of you, he'd commit murder if he had to.

You have to earn Ushiwaka's respect, yk? And slowly but surely he comes to realise how dependable and responsible you are, and treats you like an indispensable member of the team.

He's got your back. And if he ever senses you're upset, he's trying to cheer you up as best as he can.

"do not feel upset, those grades will mean nothing to you in the future. I doubt you will be able to remember what you got in your second year, third monthly test." You think he's being sweet, and yes he is (in a way), but he's also trying to be reasonable and logical.

Tendo loosens you up and you tend to play pranks on the others with him.

The funniest was when you tried to prank Ushijima by adding wasabi to his onigiri and he?? Didn't get it??

Like "y/n-chan, Tendo, why did you add wasabi to this onigiri? It would've been so much better with tuna mayo??" And he has no reaction whatsoever?¿?

Cue Goshiki who tries the onigiri because he wants to prove he has spice tolerance like Ushijima, eventhough you can low-key see him tearing up.

Shirabu is your voice of reason and you and him often study together. You also have deep and philosophical conversations at 12 a.m. over text, and it is just so wholesome.

He respects you so much, not just because you care for him, but because he finds your brain so fricking smexy.

These eagle babies bring out the best in you and you're always eager to push them forward and bring out the best in them.

*.` | Fukurodani

First thing's first, besides Akaashi, you are the only other person who can cheer up an emo-mood Bokuto.

Just say "Hey Bo, you're gonna look so much cooler when you spike the ball like the true ace that you are" and his hair's all perking up and his eyes are shining.

Akaashi thinks you are an angel sent from heaven.

You're very soft on your baby owls, and they genuinely just love getting positive affirmations from you.

Akaashi always blushes when you compliment him on his sets. And you can hear him murmur genuine words of gratitude.

The other members do too. They're glad because sometimes people focus on Bo too much and forget to give them recognition, yk? It's easy to get overlooked :(

But thanks to manager-chan who's so attentive with all of them, and who's aware of all their quirks and moods, they're all so touched and so so happy.

You have a habit of getting cold pretty often, especially since practice finishes late and it's pretty chilly by then.

Konoha always lends you his jacket and walks you home, since your home's are the closest. There's just something about you that makes you soft.

You get along really well with Kaori and Yukie, and you'd definitely consider them your best friends, considering y'all are in this thang togetherrrr!!

The Fukurodani team are just all a bunch of crackheads, but they're your crackheads and you wouldn't trade them for the world.

You're a very tight-knit family, (like ugh I just get lots of comfortable, safe vibes from Fukurodani :(( <3)

You guys hang out at the store near your school pretty often to recharge after grueling days of practice together.

*.` | Nekoma

My second favourite team, Nekoma!! They are precious, gentle, soft babies and I love them to bits and pieces >:(

I'll start with Kuroo. You've always had a tiny soft spot for Kuroo ever since you've become his lab partner in chemistry class.

His notes are immaculate. I mean, cmon we're all hoes for pretty notes

You think he's so incredibly smart and talented, so when he suggests you become the Nekoma manager, you just agree right away.

You guys grow closer since you've started spending more time with him, and you banter around more often than not with chemistry pickup lines.

"hey kitten, let's form a covalent bond"

He's so whipped after you retort back. Like wow she called me sodium fine and said I'm like an exothermic reaction? Permission to simp??

(Ari stfu this isn't a Kuroo fanfic)

Kenma and you definitely play animal crossing together, and he even lets you try his switch, after you guys grow closer.

Kuroo is so insulted, he's never even touched Kenma's switch before >:(

You also push Kenma to do better during practice and he starts to care more about volleyball, since you seem so enthusiastic about it.

Yamamoto isn't even subtle about his simping smh T-T unlike Kuroo, he shamelessly flirts with you, and can't wait to show you off to Tanaka and Noya at the next camp.

"we have such a gorgeous manager now, Nekoma is ThRiViNg" he says in his head with this ridiculous dopey ass smile on his face +_+

Since deep down inside, you're a huge baby, you, Lev, Shibayama, and Inuoka get along so well. They're just happy energetic kittens, and they make you feel so happy.

y'alls energy just match, yk?

Although Fukunaga is shy to tell jokes, he tells them to you, because he knows you'd never judge him, and you actually kinda enjoy laughing along :) he's so touched.

Momma Yaku!! Yaku always lends you his jacket and makes sure to carry snacks for you in his bag. He knows you care so much about the team that you often neglect your own health, which is why he's always there to make you're feeling healthy and good.

Kai and Teshiro help you with your homework and like talking about their favourite singers with you.

They're all just such amazing human beings who treat you so well, and you feel so blessed to be a part of their team. You adore them so much, and they adore you back tenfold.

*.` | Inarizaki

[Ari's note: Ello there luvs, you've made it to the bottom of this sweet hc post and just get ready for Inarizaki :( they're my favourite team of all time, and I'm just so biased, I'm sorry ;-;]

Inarizaki's entire team just adores you so much, they think you're the light of their lives.

They're all super touch starved babies, and once you realized that, you've made sure to ensure they never feel that way.

Aran is kinda like your protective senpai, and his heart flutters ever so slightly when you call him that senpai kink oops and give him headpats, and he loves patting your head in return.

The twins are so incredibly soft for you.

Their fangirls are sometimes pretty mean, but one glare from the duo is enough to shut them up.

Osamu cooks bentos for you and gives you the warmest hugs when you ask for them, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

Your hand is almost always in Atsumu's because he's so slick?? Like y'all, this mf would be like "y/n-chan, my hand has been aching for a while now" and when you go to observe it, he just pulls your hand into his and pulls you to follow him.

His entire body heats up when you kiss his cheek after a particularly good game, and his brain literally goes "grrrr empty", when he's usually so sly.

The twins are your bodyguards, they follow you everywhere and protect you all the time.

Enter Suna Rintaro, your meme king. He definitely records funny moments that happen during practice and send them to you, just to make you laugh, or memes of the members.

He also definitely takes pictures of you when you aren't noticing, simply because he likes the way your hair looked, or because you looked so beautiful.

Like the twins, his eyes widen whenever you kiss his cheek or ruffle his hair, and it's literally like suna.exc has stopped functioning.

Congrats manager-chan, you broke the kid -.-

Omimi might come across as stoic and cold but he's actually a huge softie, and you often give him positive affirmations.

He's also definitely a huge lover of your hugs, and looks forward to them as motivation to play well.

He'd never tell you though, he's shy™.

My baby Kita compliments you all the fricking time.

"y/n-chan, I mean this is the most sincere way, I think this hairstyle looks stunning on you"

Or "you're so capable and you work so hard, I'm so thankful to have you by my side"

And he has the most genuine expression on his face, his eyes are so earnest and shining so bright.

And when you smile at him, he's like oh shit I made her smile, depression whom? I only know serotonin.

Ginjima is usually rash but with you, he takes his time and weighs everything he says.

He doesn't wanna accidentally hurt you and regret it since he was being careless and not thinking at all.

You calm him down when he's getting too hotheaded with gentle words and he's suddenly a blushing mess.

Unlike some of the other teams that tease you a bunch, Inarizaki treats you so gently. Their little princess, as they think of you.

So mf-ing protective, like if someone looks at you wrong, you can totally bet Atsumu's going for their ankles, sangwoo style, or Osamu is trash talking them to their knees.

Would drop anything and everything to help you if ever needed.

They think you're they're entire world because you go above and beyond for them, and they genuinely love you. Like actually LOVE you to bits and pieces.

—*.`

[Ari's note: AHHH so the manager fic is done this was literally such a joy to write!! I hope you enjoyed it

Big big hugs <3 have a beautiful day, luvs!!]

[actuallysaiyan]

Hello!! I wanna request the prompt: It's summer and person b decides to wear sundresses (and nothing else) so they can ride person a anytime.

Yamato x Reader pls? 🥺🥺

It’s summertime in Konoha and it is a particularly brutal heatwave. You can hardly keep up with the weather and wear shinobi attire. You wonder what you’re going to do when you aren’t on missions. You figure maybe you can get away with taking some time off and just sitting in your air conditioned apartment.

One afternoon, you’re walking down the street and you happen upon this really cute clothing boutique. They are having a sale on cute sundresses, and being enamored by many of them, you decide to buy all the ones who catch your eye.

When you get home, you take a quick shower and then slip into one of the sundresses. It feels so refreshing to wear such a cute little dress and it really helps you keep cool.

Just then, there is a knock on the door. You saunter over and open it up to find Yamato on the other side. When he sees you, he blushes slightly.

“Hi sweetie,” you coo as you invite him inside.

“Hey, did you just get this dress?” Yamato asks, reaching out to touch the fabric.

You giggle slightly as you get a naughty idea. You lean in to kiss Yamato softly, only allowing him to reach out and wrap his arms around you even more.

“I did, and I bought about ten more of them. It’s too hot on my days off, and besides…” You grab his hand to lead him to the bedroom.

You gently push him onto the bed, and Yamato is completely flustered. He’s not even really sure what to make of this situation. He just thought your new dress was cute.

“This gives me tons of easy access.” You explain to Yamato as you guide his hand under your dress.

Yamato groans as he realizes you aren’t wearing underwear. His fingers tease your wet folds, smearing your juices everywhere. You begin palming him through his pants, feeling his cock harden everytime he rubs your erect clit.

“These are really cute dresses,” Yamato says dumbly. He’s so aroused already, he can barely make any sense.

“I thought so too. You were on my mind when I bought them,” You say as you sink down lower.

Yamato plunges two of his fingers deep inside of you, relishing in the feel of your walls clenching around him. His cock aches in his pants, so you help him by unzipping them and releasing his rock hard cock.

“Yamato,” you say a little breathlessly. He continues his steady but gentle pace with his fingers.

You can feel yourself get closer to your climax every time he presses the pads of his fingers to your sweet spot. You can’t help but mewl every time he does it.

“Let me help you,” you whisper as you pull away from his fingers. A string of your arousal connects your pussy to his fingers, which makes Yamato grunt.

“Need you now,” he says through gritted teeth as you straddle him.

You guide his cock to your slick entrance, and with one movement, he is sheathed deep within you. Both of you take a moment to compose yourselves. It feels utterly amazing this way.

“So fucking tight,” Yamato hisses as your walls clench around his cock. You whine as he starts to thrust up into you.

“Fuck me, Yamato. Please.” You plead as you try to gyrate your hips.

Yamato looks up at you with a cold look in his eyes. He holds down your hips for a moment, definitely leaving some finger shaped bruises.

Without warning, he slams you down on him. His cock hits your cervix, making you yelp in surprise. Yamato then begins a brutal pace, making you both cry out in pleasure. You can barely hold on as Yamato reaches to rub your clit in fast little circles.

“Are you going to wear these dresses every time I see you now?” He demands to know.

“Yes yes!” You moan, letting him know that he was your top priority this summer.

“Are you going to ride my cock every time? You better not wear panties.”

“Please, Yamato.” You’re pleading so he won’t stop. You can feel your orgasm building.

“ANSWER ME!” Yamato growls, pumping himself into you harder.

“I won’t wear panties! I’ll always ride your cock!” You moan as he continues to fuck your harshly. One more thrust, and you are over the edge.

Your vision cuts to static as your thighs tremble and your toes curl. You’re panting and begging, cumming so hard all over Yamato’s cock.

He’s grunting and groaning as he feels your walls pulse and contract around him, practically milking the soul out of him. He paints your insides white with hot cum.

You both take a moment to catch your breath before Yamato starts thrusting up into you again.

“This is going to be a fun summer,”