Tumgik
#knowing that people want more and even specific things really fuels me!!!
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Sorry to pop in again so soon, but I just had to return and offer a little more praise.
Okay so after reading the 3rd part and letting all of that settle on my soul - and getting over my initial "omg I fricking love this fic" excitement - I just need to say I am floored by your storytelling prowess. Your description of things are so immaculate that there's no question as to what you mean and how that feels/looks/sounds etc. Lines like "Barbie feels like her insides have been scooped out and replaced with fragile things. She has to move slowly, breathe carefully, to keep from jarring them, because they’ll grow stronger but they haven’t yet." Perfect. Anyone who's been there knows exactly how that feels like and knows you've described it to a T. I love how you were able to take complicated things like that and put words to them.
Your characterizations are spot-on. Ken saying he felt "spinny"? Like yeah, I could totally hear it in my head, and it was definitely believable he said that. But more than that though, you helped us readers understand what these two were *feeling* and did so without sacrificing who we saw in the movie. It's like I was a doll experiencing humanity for the first time too, in all its good and bad.
The detailing of how they feel about being human - "but she still wakes up with her flesh and blood heart beating too fast and her flesh and blood skin sticky with cold sweat (yuck)" - and how they're coping with it - "Gloria feels her stomach lurch when she sees his hands, cuticles and nails picked at and chewed on, every imperfection worried at until they’re impossible to ignore. Barbie has the same problem, but a spinning ring and a flawless manicure every time she gets her hair touched up have mostly taken care of it." - are beautiful in their own way. I really can't get over how you've really helped the readers put themselves in their shoes and feel as they feel in their newfound humanity.
Not to mention how you've developed their platonic soulmate AU which I am HERE FOR. I love it so much, like that last part with their foreheads touching had me in tears. And the angst - my word! - also had me in tears too. Those poor babies.
Anyway, as I said before: you're a genius with wonderful gifts, and thank you for sharing them with us. I will definitely be keeping an eye on your Ao3 to see any more posting in the future if you so choose to do so. But please, please may we have at least one little thing where Ken gets some happiness please? I think he's earned it, but that's just me.
I'll leave you alone now, but I just really needed to share this. Thanks again <3
Thank you SO much for this and I am not put upon at all :D I love getting compliments about my work lol so definitely don’t apologize
Genuinely thank you, though, because I’m so glad you feel that way about the fics. I’m trying very hard to convey the humanness vs. dollness of it all, and to have the characters talk and act like themselves, just in this really weird and often sad situation. I’m also glad the spinny lines worked lol. I was like “how would Ken describe the feeling of spiraling?” and that’s what I got.
AND YEAH, someone said in the comments on the first fic that it was giving dark soulmate AU vibes, and I was like yayyy love that that was noticeable, and I’ve kept leaning on it because I think it’s so interesting. (Though the darker aspects have faded.)
And lmao I swear Ken will have a good time soon!!! I genuinely started feeling bad for him at a certain point in the last fic of the trilogy and I was like “man, I need this guy to pet a horse or something and possibly not even cry once within three thousand words.” But he’s going through the very beginning of the adjustment period in that trilogy, so it is Not easy. But again—things will look up for him now!!! I have plans!!!
(I do also have plans for more heavy angst, but my threat of a fic where Ken just overall has a great time still stands. I actually have plans for it to maybe be the first fic in the vignette collection that will probably be the last entry in this series. But plans change, so don’t quote me on that. Things WILL look up, though.)
(Also, obligatory link to the series: something in me in you.)
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hiveswap · 8 months
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Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024
I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.
Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.
1. The previous round (preparation)
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I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:
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...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.
2. The Finale
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Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.
I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.
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I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.
3. The Fuckening
Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:
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which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:
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This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.
We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.
4. Conclusions
Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:
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(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:
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This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:
Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.
I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.
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coffee-and-tea-time · 2 months
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𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Out of the menu, still the choice ๋࣭ ⭑
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Yandere! Shopkeeper x Willing! Reader
We finally got a winner! *Clap clap* if you want context, you can go here but it's not that necessary we think - the twins
This mf was really more hard to write that I expected but nevertheless we tried to match the energy of the seller pickers so at least it was really fun ngl - Coffee
It took us both a while to draft what we wanted to write for him since he's not a very expressive character and we wanted to try a more subtle approach. If you have any ideas or suggestions for any of them, let us know!! -Tea
Count word: 3.1k (new longest post for now)
Tw: yandere behavior, kind of flirty reader, stalking, kidnaping?, written in you/yours, overall soft yandere, gaslighting, drugging (this really still counts as soft yandere??? believe me, yes), light paranoia, clueless reader
Your eyes scan the papers in your hand, your mind still focused rather on the man that handed you them, sitting right across from him, more specifically, the comment he just murmured. None of the people he mentioned called your attention as much as himself did, perhaps he was more that he presented himself as? He seemed to know much more about you than he’s supposed to, so, was he a yandere as well? And if so, Why miss the chance to tease a potential yandere? 
"Huh, so you think I should go out more often?"
"Well, I'm just concerned about your vitamin D intake, that's all. You need more sun Dear, for the sake of your health"
He smugly smirks at you like he's saying obvious facts that you should already know about yourself… though his smirk falters, his lips pressing into a tight line as he rethinks his words, though it was too late to retract them, it was your time to shine.
"Oh? Then why not help me with that yourself? You seem to keep a good track of my time outside for some reason, care to explain yourself, Honey?"
You steal his previous smirk, it now decorating your lips, curving them upwards smugly as he seems to sink into himself, his pen flipping between his fingers as a nervous fidget, scanning your expression, seemingly trying to understand what you were attempting to do with these witty remarks.
“Dear, allow me to remind you, you came all the way here to have an obsessive partner after you walk out this door, I'm sure anyone in the list will love to fulfill the job, sadly, I'm not one of them, I'm deeply sorry if my previous comments left any space for this misunderstanding"
He seems to lifts up a wall between you and him with his formality as if attempting to keep things formal and cordial though his eyes tell a different story, his eyes, akin to a snake’s narrow slightly, scanning your features as if daring you to continue this charade; a sweet chill runs down your spine, which only widens your smile further.
"Ow, come on, there's no need to lie so blatantly to my face, you know exactly why I'm here, and for that I can also tell exactly what is happening here”
He huffs, his fingers running through his black hair, messing up his slick back hairstyle into something much more fitting to match with his semi-formal attire.
"As I just said, I'm not a yandere, let's stop this little game, Dear, I’m not sure how you arrived at this conclusion, little detective…"
Those gray eyes glare at you without even missing a beat, narrowing further to make a subtle warning: quit fooling around. Do you care? No, honestly, him staring down at you only serves to fuel your burning curiosity about the man.
"Fine then, at least answer me this, how did you know i don't go out much?"
The man scoffs as if the answer was as obvious as looking in a mirror.
"Come on now, you are chronically online, I just made a lucky guess"
… Gotcha
"My screen time is something even weirder for you to know for certain though, don't you think?"
A silence ensues, tension and realization thick in the air as his posture changes completely, from relaxed and smug to tense and anxious, he leans forward, eyes avoiding you suddenly, like he wasn't piercing you with his stare just a few seconds ago.
You let your question linger, knowing you won, knowing he had no way to protest your question seamlessly 
"... don't tell management"
It was now your turn to sigh. Perhaps he was being truthful and this was just a big misunderstanding. Maybe his “background check” on you wasn't something he was supposed to do ethically speaking, but something he felt compelled to do. Then again, they did have this incident with a fool attempting to illegitimately make a yandere harem. Perhaps it was time to let this go, you tried at least, but being overly pushy could get you kicked out and leaving empty handed wasn't something you were willing to do after finally finding the courage to enter the shop.
 "Well, I don't know, I choose Oliver"
You said, the smirk in your lips faltering into a soft defeated smile, shrugging as you chose someone at random, pointing blindly at the papers.
"He's already purchased" 
He counters your response abruptly, his tone still formal yet with an air of defensiveness. You wondered, if he was already purchased, then why show it to you at all?
"Damn, okay, then Lio…"
You quickly point again at a random profile, barely even reading the name then scanning his expression, his head shaking even before you managed to pronounce the name fully.
"Sorry"
He responded with a shrug, his shoulders relaxing as if the tension he felt before was gone.
You smile at him once again, well, thankfully you weren't just flirting with the wrong target.
"You’re doing this on purpose"
You announce, amused by the realization, a smile widening in your lips as one seems to simultaneously tug at the corners of his, a mischievous grin adorning his sly stare, those eyes bearing into yours like a wicked fox.
"You choose me, be loyal to your own decisions… though, really, don't tell management. I do maintain I'm not some sort of obsessed maniac, Dear"
That's the most suspicious thing a person can say in a yandere shop but you take it.
"I care next to nothing about management… so, it's a date?".
(...)
You leave the store, hands empty, but not really. You walk with an extra cheer in your step, you managed to get yourself a date with the seller of the damn shop, not one of the many names in those papers, but the shopkeeper, talk about a plot twist. 
And so you make your way back home, waiting for the time to arrive, the time in which you'd meet up with the man outside of work in a sweet little restaurant down the same street where the shop is located. As you get yourself ready, checking your outfit, double checking…triple checking, your mind drifts to your conversation with the seller and the way everything he said seemed to avoid each and every one of your questions skillfully. You managed to get his number with the excuse of arranging the meeting time and place, yet… that was all, you didn't even get his name, did you?. 
You are brought back to reality with the buzzing of your phone, a notification from an unknown number… though it was the sellers, how did he get your number? Sure, he gave you his, but he shouldn't have a way to contact you yet, that information wasn't even in the paperwork either since you never filled any forms out, you didn't purchase any of the yanderes. 
» “Hey, it's the shopkeeper”
You raised a brow at your screen, watching as the little dots bobbed up and down, indicating he was still typing another message
» “just checking if you're still up for this date you so boldly proposed. My shift is over” 
His texts are a little dry, yet you can feel the awkwardness from them already, he wasn't fooling anybody, he was nervous as hell. 
You quickly type up a response, resuming your teasing over text like you never left the shop and so you text back and forth until the time arrives and you leave your home, walking down the street to the restaurant he sent you the location to. Once you got there, amusement tugged your lips up into a smile. This man, acting so unapproachable, so closed off, was eagerly waiting outside the restaurant with that classic “I'm just looking at my phone” stance, but damn he looked good. 
He wasn't wearing that semi-formal suit from before, but rather a tight black shirt, jeans and a jacket. His hair was down and you had to admit, it looked way better that way. You check the time on your phone, you arrive just in time, you look relieved but can’t help but wonder how the seller managed to close up shop, go back home, change and arrive before you when his last text was just a few minutes ago telling you his shift was over.
“aw, you arrived early to meet me? It’s so cute how eager you are for someone who didn't even tell me his name”
You meet his gaze as you approach him with a playful demeanor, his smile still decorating his face as always.
He huffs, glancing up from his phone, his eyes crinkling in a mischievous grin. He pockets his phone and adjusts his jacket, leaning a little closer as he speaks
“Oh, Dear, you got it all wrong, i just got here, but, i must say…waiting would have been worth it, you look stunning” 
He said with a soft chuckle and you nudged his shoulder in response to his compliment, though as you nudge him you feel how cold his jacket is, of course he didn't wait for you
“Right, anyways, you know, it's only fair that I get your name. I know you so desperately want to seem all mysterious and shit, but i need to know who I'm flirting with”
You tease bluntly with a chuckle, he tenses up a little, looking away for a second, trying to disguise his blush by rolling his eyes at you.
“I suppose you could call me Jade…”
“Well, jade, pleasure to meet you”
You said trying to imitate his tone of voice as he guides the way inside the restaurant.
“Since I answered your question, it's only fair you answer mine, don't you agree?"
His gaze seems like he's taking notes of your every expression as he gently pulls a chair for you to sit on before he sits across from you.
"Are we doing a little bit of banter here? Huh, that's quite the contrary of what you been doing all day, but please, go on, I'm thrilled to know what you wish to know of me"
His eyes move to the menu, although you can say his entire focus was still on you… because of the fact he can't possibly read the menu when it's upside down.
"So, if I may ask… why did you choose to flirt with me when you came to the shop to get yourself a yandere?"
"Why not? You could say I went there to find someone that catches my eye, and jokes on you, my eyes were set on you the moment you opened that door to guide me into the store"
You restrain yourself not to giggle like a fool when the top of his ears turns red while he's attempting to keep his perpetually smiling facade, oblivious to his own reaction to your words.
"Then, do yo-"
His words quickly die on his throat as a waiter gets to your table, you didn't have the time to catch the small twitch of his eyebrows that lasted a second.
"Good evening, I will be your server for the night, what can I get started for you two?"
As you two order normally, you can't help but feel a sense of discomfort as the waiter always speaks focusing his eyes on you, but Jade doesn't seem to react so you dismissed it, you're only feeling weird because of the awkwardness of being on a first date, although you can't help but sigh faintly with relief after the server walks away.
"Well… anyways, since I replied to one of your questions, guess it's my turn!"
You said smiling, trying to brush off the weird feeling you just had, focusing on your task in hand: the date.
“so, why don’t you tell me a little about your hobbies?”
You gaze at him while his head tilts slightly, as if doubting if to reply or just dodge the question like the past ones.
“Well, they differ depending on the time, I’m the type of person that get a new one every once in a while but one that has stuck since high school is embroidery”
Honestly, you can picture it, he does seem like the type of person who enjoys calm classy hobbies, old lady hobbies if you will. The image is sort of endearing. 
"Since high school? Wow, what was your first piece?"
You feel relieved that he seems more open to conversation now that you both are formally on this date. Sadly for you and lucky for him, you focused so much on listening to his answers that you didn't catch the small blush dusting his cheeks.
"...It was a skull, edgy, I know. I really like how it turned out back then though”
“A skull? Very edgy indeed, why-”
Your question was left hanging in the air as an arm interfered with your vision of Jade, the waiter placing your plates on the table with a polite smile. The interjection was a little awkward, but there's not much you can do about it, the waiter is just doing his job.
Though as you lower your voice to a stop, interrupted by the waiter, you see the slight hint of annoyance in Jade’s face flick for a second just to disappear like it never happened, it makes you wonder if that was a hint of jealousy? It probably wasn't… your yandere rotten brain must be seeing things, right?
As you two indulge in conversation, enjoying your little date, you almost lose track of time. It feels like in the blink of an eye, the date was already at its final point, the only thing that popped your bubble was his phone ringing.
"...sorry, it's my boss, allow me to step out real quick, it won't take long I'm sure"
You nod to him before he makes his way to the restroom to pick up the call. Honestly you feel kind of sad that the dinner was reaching its end but well, you can't be that clingy on the first date.
As you ponder between when and where the perfect second date will be or if it's best to wait for him to ask for another, the waiter interrupts your thoughts, placing a glass of what looks like raspberry juice on the table.
"Excuse me sir, I didn't order this"
The waiter gives you a puzzled expression as if it were a competition who is more confused by the situation but is quick to giggle as if it was an inside joke of his before reassuring you.
"Oh, don't worry, it's already been paid”
You didn't have time to ask further questions when the busy server was already on another table that needed him, well, it looks tasty anyways, why reject something when it's free?
You honestly feel like luck is on your side today; you got the confidence to try and flirt with Jade and successfully get yourself a really good date! And you also get a free drink as a way to celebrate your little achievement, so you take a big gulp. 
Huh? Weird, you know the taste of raspberry by heart, why does it taste more bitter? Ugh, the fruit is probably not that fresh , even the consistency feels a little thicker too. Well, raspberry juice is supposed to be like that, perhaps you got too used to store bought and got yourself confused.
"Well, is not like a restaurant would sell 'expired juice' as their main drink, surely I'm just overthinking it" 
You reason with yourself in a whisper as you set the drink aside, ugh, maybe you drank too big of a sip, you start to feel like you got brain freeze or something.
(…)
“Dear, are you feeling well? Do you need to go to the restroom?”
The sound of his relaxed voice quickly fills your ears, your mind feels hazy but you nevertheless try focusing on him as he sits back down to the table, catching his expression changing from the usual laid back grin to a worried frown. You didn't even notice when he came back from his work call, not until he was right in front of you, it's like time passed while your brain was stopped, something wasn't good…
"Did something happen? Do you need a pain-killer? Did the food upset your stomach?"
The rapid fire questions overfill your already overwhelmed mind as his hands hold your shoulders before he places his forehead against yours to check your temperature and although you tried, your currently unstable self only managed to hardly mumble some words.
"I… don't know, I just drank that"
You focus your gaze on the glass of juice and he follows your gaze with a frown as if his laid back mask is cracked.
"the color is slightly off and ice is only floating up to the middle of the glass…"
Was there really something wrong with your drink? What was in there? How bad is it? What's going to happen to you? Was it the waiter? Was there someone in the restaurant you didn't see? Why is this happening today?
"Dear, focus on me, okay? Don't worry, you're fine, just dizzy, I will make sure you are okay, alright? Take a deep breath for me darling" 
Through your dizziness you watch as he moves skillfully and quickly, paying the bill as fast as he could to take you out of there, his arms tightly wrapped around you to steady your wobbly stance, guiding you out of the busy restaurant. It's almost as if you were drunk, which didn't make sense, you felt yourself slipping further out of your senses, sounds muffled and your vision blurry, your legs and hands feeling tingly with each step you took with his assistance. 
"Jade, I-"
"Don't worry Dear, I will take care of you, just trust me, alright?"
You can help but feel grateful that even in this awful situation, you managed to have someone so gentle and caring with you, but before you can try to babble a thank you, you feel your mind shut off like an old tv… don't worry, you are being taken care of, Dear.
He just wants to look after you, it would be so creepy if he left you unconscious at your place since he's not supposed to know your address yet, so, guess the only choice is him letting you crash at his apartment, it's fine, you will find yourself at home there, it's really cozy! 
. . .
Wait, did you really believe him? That's kind of hilarious, try guessing again.
sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣
images from pinterest and divider by Tea ⚘
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chrolloluvr · 6 months
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💸 Ways Toxic!Mammon takes over your life as your controlling, doting boyfriend (pt.1?) 💸
Note: Female!Reader, AFAB (Whoever came up w/ voxtok shout out to you!!!), this also takes place before Fizz quit. Also not proofread!
Warnings: semi nsfw, cussing, manipulation, slut shaming, killing, dominance, toxic relationship goals!
Social media. As we all are aware, he has a huge influence online. He has millions and even billion of fans, which he can exploit and persuade very easily. He controls your accounts, people you follow, the things you post (if he even lets you post at all), etc. He controls all of your comments, and filters them. One time, your best friend had left a comment that said, "Damn girl, looking fine ASF", And he was fuming. He forbid you from ever seeing that 'friend' ever again.
You most likely have to make a secret account that you post on. And its very popular. It may consist of you talking about Mammons icks, dancing videos with him (you convinced him, because you told them they were privated.), which all most likely get millions of views. But lets hope Mammon does not find it, or else he will not be happy with you.
How you two as a couple are perceived. He cares alot about his public image. So he will pay out media outlets and news stations to percieve you, himself and your relationship in a good light. So lets say Mammon is getting "cancelled", (he never in a million years actually would, too many people look up to him and adore him.) for bringing supposed groupies backstage after an event he is hosting. Even if he actually did, he would pay the media huuuge amounts of money to get himself out of trouble. Same goes for you. Your poor choices reflect onto him as well, since you two are a very public couple.
Like I have said before in previous posts, you two are definitely the most watched, reported and popular couple in Hell. Sinners and native demons admire the dynamic between you two. So lets say you lash out at a fan for getting their camera too close to you? And then that fan posts footage on Voxtok or Sinstagram, you may get some backlash.
Lets be honest, Mammon probably wont jump to defend you unless it involves him in some way. If it does not involve him, he will block some people by logging into your account, (because he knows all of your passwords), but nothing more.
The clothes you wear. He buys you your clothes, so in his mind, he has every right to choose what goes on your body. If he sees you wearing something revealing, he will tell you 'you look like a slut babe. Where are you going, the fuckin' strip club?' He says shit like that even if your showing an inch of stomach. He for the most part wants you to wear things he chooses. He prefers if you two are matching all the time, but if you are just going out to get groceries, he likes when you wear oversized sweatshirts/hoodies, with leggings. I know its an oddly specific combo, but he thinks it doesn't show off any of your supple skin, and you look so appealing. Especially if its a brand Mammon owns. Mans will go feral. I feel like every time you leave the house with or without him, he will be sitting on the couch, saying 'C'mon, you know the drill cutie. show daddy what your gonna wear, yeah?'
He loves it when he sees you in a natural, underdressed state alone at home. His by far most treasured thing he likes to see on you, is you either in your bra and matching panties, or you in an oversized t shirt and panties with no bra. He especially likes those really dainty, "girly" colors and patterns. He likes seeing you dress feminine.
Calling him daddy. Yes you heard me. He has a huge power influx, and having you call him that fuels the fire in his ego. If its the morning, and you yawn and stretch out a tired, 'good mornin' daddy', he is hard. And this isn't even a fully sexual thing for him, since he isnt all that sexual extremely often. He just loves being called daddy. But if it were somebody else calling him that, they would get the death stare and an upset Mammon. But with you, he likes dominating you. So call him daddy. It will get him in a good mood, and If you want something from him? A daddy or two wont hurt.
Who you talk to. Once you two are together, he with subtly cut people out of your life that he thinks are a threat to your relationship. He will try to cut off any of your male friends or if you had any, your ex's. This sneaky man will probably send photos of you giving him head that he took without your permission. And he will never tell you he did that. Anyways, once he gets rid of all of these people, he will convince you that 'ohhh, princess, c'mon dont get your panties in a twist. Maybe they are just on vacation, you dont gotta act like a little whiny bitch-'. And by vacation, he means threatened, or killed.
He does not want you being influenced by anybody but himself. And especially not by any men. One of his many influx of issues is his jealousy/possession, (which I will get into on another post.) SO really the only other person besides himself that you can talk to are people he has met, and are proven to him to not uphold any power against him.
Meaning he will never let you meet Asmodeus. He is a horrible influence in his mind, and he does not was Ozzie to make you aware of his manipulation tactics. He may let you meet Beelz or Lucifer, but never Ozzie. He is the embodiment of lust, which is like toxic waste for your mind.
You bank account. If you need him to send funds, he will as long as you give him a little kiss on the cheek. But if you have been a bad girl, you might need to work for his money. If he is feeling particularly nice today, he will text you, sending a photo of the transfered funds he sent you, reading 25k+ sent. He loathes in the 'oh no you didn't have to Mamm' he gets from you, or the 'I feel bad, send it back!' Because in reality, he does not like to spend his money on anything useless. And to him, you aren't useless. So sharing some of his "hard earned" cash truly shows how he trusts and believes you wont go out on a limb for him.
And plus, now that your with him, he has taken all of your funds. He wont tell you that, even thought it didn't matter, considering how little you had compared to his trillion dollar net worth. So if you ever do stupidly decide to leave him, you wont be able to.
Puts a tracker on you, or has his goons follow you. This is another thing you are blissfully unaware of. He has an unreleased app on his phone, where he can see wherever you are at all times. While you were sleeping in your shared bedroom, he would put a tracker chip deep into you ear. So that he doesn't have to worry about his most prized possession running away when he isn't around. Or if he cant physically see you and he wants to? He has some loan sharks or his bodyguards follow you silently. I think awhile back, Mammon developed "Mammons Super Secret Spy Glasses", a product made for naive kids, and was released to the masses. But that transformed into an opportunity to exploit his goons into using them to spy on you. Do they want to creepily follow you? No. But can they refuse. Absolutely not. Nobody can refuse Mammon.
If somebody does take you somewhere, he will have his goons kill them, but come to the location and make it look like he killed them for your sake.
Controls where you can and cant go. He 100% does this. He wouldn't even let you in the vicinity of any kind of smoke shop, strip club, etc. He wants you to stay innocent, and naive for him. Meaning he will never let you in the lust ring, which alludes to the fact that him and Ozzie... aren't on the best terms per say. But will let you in any other ring under severe supervision. He cant have you doing any stupid shit to mess with his public image.
He wont even let you roam around in his own ring, because he is well aware of how dangerous it has become. He doesn't want his pretty little thing being kidnapped by some dirty, greasy men on the streets. But if you really want to go somewhere, he will let you go near there, but he will cover your eyes with his top two hands, and guide your waist with his bottom pair of hands somewhere he deems safe.
I also think he would follow you to the bathroom, and he would definitely offer to (does anyways) wipe for you.
How you act. Once you two are together, you will learn things the Mammon way. He will teach you how to become his esteemed future wife, and soon you might even have his kids (when he feels like babytrapping you, but that might be a later work.) He will teach you his version of manners, such as how to sit properly on his lap, teaching you how to french kiss (Which he assumes is your first time kissing somebody), How to sit still properly on his large cock, How to rock your hips just right-
He just wants you to be prepared for him. If he comes home at night, he expects the usual kiss on the cheek, asking him how his day was, and then the finale, which consists of your naked body and your legs being spread wider than his shit eating grin. He just wants to be ready to blow your back out, not having to worry about wasting time.
In the morning, he wants his breakfast served by none other than his obedient little princess. Then, he wants you to personally brush and floss his teeth. Then, he wants you to pick his outfit. (you will never truly get a say, he just wants to know from your perspective what makes him sexier.) And finally, the finishing act, holding your hair tightly into a makeshift ponytail, while he bobs your head up and down his cock.
Sexually frustrating you. After a while, you will miss his sexual touches. You will begin to crave them, as you will find yourself wanting him more and more. He is just so good at eating your pussy, and making you feel like your on cloud 9.
So don't be suprised if you find yourself humping his leg, as he bounces his thigh up and down to try and overstimulate you.
Makes you come to his shows. He will drag you to them. He does not care how tired you are, you will be there and sit pretty. He will let you in for free, but if you want a piece of merchandise, or some popcorn, he will make you pay. (even though its his money). When you first start dating, that is the case. But now that you two are officially an item? You sit up on the terrace with him in his webs. He has two of his left side arms wrapped around you, while he forces you to hand feed him.
And sometimes people catcall you from up above. One time, a couple dudes got drunk of Beelzejuice, and started berading you. By asking you to flash a peek of your tits, and show a little pussy. You were highly offended, but Mammon was not happy.
Those guys ended up in the E.R., but they would have died if it weren't for your expertise in calming Mammons temper. After that little incident, Mammon had later that day taken your ass on a one way ticket to pound town. So you can thank those guys, I guess...
Anyways, what if you need to use the bathroom during a show? He pauses the entire thing, because he wants you to watch how good of a planner and mastermind he is at pageants. Will literally wait outside of the bathroom door for you, and checks his watch if your taking "too long".
But anyways, he will also try to get you and Fizzarolli to be friends, since both of you are basically brainwashed by him.
The things you buy. He will not ever let you buy any cheap shit. Its a bad look on his behalf. So every time you two go out, you have to ask him if you can get something. If he deems it as "not doing anything for your look", he will make you put it back. And this goes for everything. Online orders, Voxtok shop (tiktok shop), etc. It always has to be approved by him.
Also, he will never let you buy any sex toys. He thinks his fingers, tongue and dick are more than plenty. If you ask him for any sex toys, he will call you an ungrateful little whore. So its best if you don't ask, unless you want Mammons over the top mumbling and grumbling.
Emotionally manipulating you. He will do this all the time. If he ever does something wrong, he will never admit to it. He will either never glaze over it, or will turn it on you somehow. It will start with his angry grunting, huffing, and puffing. If you ever ask him if he is ok, he will literally whip his head towards you and give you the most deadly glare you will ever see. His Aussie accent will come out very abruptly when he's mad.
Throw the worlds biggest temper tantrums. Sometimes you think hes a baby in an adult mans body. Some of his have gone on for days on end. He will pull every trick in the book. Whining and fake crying are things he has tried to use on you.
If he is really ruffled up, he will start yelling at you for no reason whatsoever. He just yells a bunch of belligerent bullshit, and does not give any reason why. Truly, the best thing to do to calm him down is spread your legs nice and wide, and let him lap at your cunt for hours. If he is 'borderline dangerous' mad, he will refuse to talk to you for a couple days. Even if you try, he wont budge. Deep down, he cares for you. And he knows that if he gives in, he might hurt you.
If he wants something from you, he will flash his infamous puppy dog eyes. (Bottom photo below), But if he is annoyed with you, he will make the deadly glare (Top photo below)
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So, just try your best to keep him calm and happy. Even if that is through means you don think are necessary 💚
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shaunashipman · 1 month
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i am genuinely a bit scared for my fellow bucktommies because with all the love eyes for bucktommy and tommy, i am not sure if people don't happily-ever-after too close to the sun with their expectations about how the bucktommy relationship will continue. 911 is still very much a drama show that will create drama out of thin air if it has to, oftentimes in ways that feel very dumb and will make the characters look very bad. we have seen in the past that resolutions are usually very lackluster, or sometimes even off screen. i personally really look forward to see buck and tommy, but i hope we all remember that buck AND tommy will fuck up at some point, and maybe even fuck up Bad. please be careful out there with how high you set your expectations, my fellow bucktommies, and don't forget that buck and tommy will have conflict again, with the others or with each other, sooner or later! (i hope it will be compelling and nuanced and interesting conflict that fuels their development, at the very least 🤞 but i also know that i am watching 911 so...)
so nonny, this isn't really directed at you, but i'm gonna use your ask as a springboard cause i'm seeing this sentiment pop up a lot
people need to stop conflating fanon actions with desires for canon
by this i mean, 99% of what i post about bucktommy, are things i never expect to happen in canon, and some of it quite honestly i would not want to happen in canon. i obviously can't speak for everyone, but most of the people i interact with are well aware that the characters on screen are not really the characters we're playing with in our sandbox.
and that's okay. that's how fandom is supposed to work. fandom is separate from the source material. we didn't used to need to post disclaimers about how no, we don't actually think this is going to happen. no, we don't actually think their relationship is going to be sunshine and roses. ppl in fiction act stupid cause sometimes the writer needs stupid to move the plot where they want. I, as a fan, can choose whether to incorporate said stupidity into my existing fanon, whether to analyze it to see how it could fit with my existing fanon, or whether to toss it out, baby and all.
part of the reason fandoms start is because we find the source material lacking. so honestly, when buck or tommy, or any characters, inevitably acts like a dick in a way that seems counter to their previous characterization, it's just more fodder for fandom, a new facet of their character that we then get to analyze and decide why they're doing it. well behaved women rarely make history and well behaved characters rarely make fandoms
so, just so it's clear, at least from me, unless I specifically state that this is what I think will happen in canon, everything I post about bucktommy, and basically all of my fandoms, is not even wishful thinking, it's just me playing with my dolls.
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genericpuff · 9 months
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The Elephant in the Room - Queer Erasure and Westernization in Lore Olympus (and all its horrid stepchildren)
This is one people have been asking me for a while now, and I've been waiting for the right inspiration to hit, as is required for my ADHD hyperfixation-fueled rants. After recently watching a video that did an objective review of Cait Corrain's Crown of Starlight, I felt now was the time, because Crown of Starlight effectively proves exactly what Lore Olympus - and other Greek myth interpretations like it - has issues with.
And I want to preface this post with one question - why do we keep getting these Greek myth adaptations written by queer women that still wind up perpetuating toxic heteronormative culture?
Buckle up, because this one's HEFTY.
In that aforementioned review of A Crown of Starlight, there were a lot of points that came up about how Cait wrote the female protagonist - Ariadne, wife of Dionysus - where I immediately stopped and went, "Wait, this sounds awfully familiar."
It should be mentioned briefly for anyone who's unaware - Cait Corrain is an author who was recently (and still) under fire for using sock puppet accounts on GoodReads to intentionally sabotage the ratings of other debut authors, many of whom were her own peers or from the same publishing imprint as her (Del Rey), and most of whom were POC. I mentioned in that previous essay that I just linked that Cait Corrain is a fan of Lore Olympus and decided to give it 5 star ratings from these alt accounts, not just de-legitimizing the reputation of the books she bombed, but also the ones that she praised (including her own book, because of course she had to leave an obvious calling card LMAO). I felt it necessary to tie Cait into my discussion of white feminism in LO and its fanbase because people like Cait are exactly who we're talking about when we dissect the intent and consequences of LO's writing - much of its brand of "feminism" seems to only be catered to a specific kind of woman (i.e. white women who fetishize queer people/relationships) and seem to encourage/embrace violence towards women if those women aren't "behaving correctly" or just aren't fortunate enough to be white and rich - and so Cait choosing to give Lore Olympus 5 stars in her hate-raiding and even have it visibly in the background of her headshot photos was... not exactly disproving my argument that these are the types of people LO caters to and encourages, to say the least.
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But then I watched Read with Rachel's "Did It Deserve 1 Star" review of Crown of Starlight and it cemented my assumptions and concerns regarding Cait's intentions and influences even more.
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As a brief tangent, I've read A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Claire. It very obviously is using Lore Olympus as its blueprints, but it's not super obvious that if you didn't read Lore Olympus or weren't aware of it, you probably wouldn't notice. It's still not a great book on its own, it's riddled with writing problems, but at least it can call itself its own thing to some degree.
Crown of Starlight is just blatant Lore Olympus fanfiction pretending to be original, even down to its marketing (which I'll get to shortly) but swapping out Hades and Persephone with Dionysus and Ariadne, and setting the entire story in space. Why is it in space? There doesn't seem to be any actual necessary reason for this, it just is, go with it. I'd be willing to accept this because changing up the setting of pre-existing stories can be fun (god knows I loved the premise enough of Lore Olympus being a modern day Greek myth retelling that I had to go and make my own version of it that's still in that modern setting) but as RWR says in her review:
"... we're told that it's the 'island' of Crete, but then we talk about commbands, airlocks, [holo-shields] and it wasn't really written in a way that I felt meshed 'Greek retelling' and 'sci-fi' in a cohesive way."
Needless to say, Crown of Starlight unsurprisingly suffers from the same problems Lore Olympus does, where it will try to "subvert" the original myths by changing their setting and characters and then doing absolutely nothing interesting with them to justify those changes.
To really drive my point home that Crown of Starlight is undoubtedly Lore Olympus fanfiction, Lore Olympus was literally used as a comparison point in Crown of Starlight's marketing which is a fair tactic to use to advertise to a specific niche or demographic, and while some have argued that Cait isn't technically the one to come up with that marketing jargon, it's made much more clear that she used that comparison herself when writing and pitching the book because it is quite literally just Lore Olympus with a different couple in space, right down to the main female protagonist being part of a purity cult. And of course it wouldn't be a bad Wattpad romance if it didn't have our main female protagonist Ariadne talking about how inconvenient her MASSIVE BREASTS are and of COURSE Ariadne is a poor innocent uwu babygirl who needs a man to come in and rescue her from the evil purity cult and of COURSE it hints at them eventually having raunchy sex just for it to wind up being milquetoast bondage and of COURSE it all just winds up taking traditionally queer characters and stories and turning them into this sanitized Disney-esque plotline where the boy and girl were always meant to be together and nothing else matters except their love-
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And that, at its core, really just screams "this is bad LO fanfiction". From the stylization of the book's writing which never outgrew its "adorkable fanfiction writing" phase-
"Realizing that I'm being gaslit by my entire world doesn't make it easier to deal with, but hey, at least I still have some part of my soul!" - an excerpt from Crown of Starlight quoted from RWR's review timestamp 13:03
-to the "creative" choices made to turn Ariadne into a chastity cult girl whose resolution is obviously going to be to have what's implied to be dirty raunchy sex just for it to be like... the most tame level one bondage stuff;
-to the classic "she breasted boobily down the stairs" focus on Ariadne's body and breasts and sex appeal that's being kept in check by that pesky purity club.
And that's really disappointing because I had seen people say, "Yeah, Cait did an awful thing and deserves to be removed from her publishing schedule, but it's a shame that that book was written by Cait because it's actually a really good book!" because now it's just making me even more sus of people's Greek myth adaption recommendations (I'm still mad at BookTok for convincing me that A Touch of Darkness was worth reading). All I could think while listening to some of the excerpts quoted by RWR was that if I didn't know about Cait Corrain and read Crown of Starlight blind, I'd undoubtedly assume it was being written by a heterocis guy... but it's in fact being written by a queer woman.
And this is where I segue into talking about the root of this problem, where the calls are really coming from - Lore Olympus and its erasure of queer identities and relationships, despite also being written by a queer woman who should know better.
I could think of no better character to help carry this essay than Eros.
Unlike many of the characters in LO that Rachel has managed to straightwash by changing their motives entirely or straight up changing their identity from the source material (ex. Zeus, Apollo, Crocus who was turned into a flower nymph, Dionysus and Achilles because they're both literally babies, the list goes on), Eros has largely remained the same on paper who had zero reason to not be queer within the story.
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Eros is still the god of love in this, he's still a guy and presumed to be an adult, but we NEVER see or explore him having relationships with anyone other than Psyche, aside from a brief mention of organizing orgies in the beginning that's used as a quick joke and then promptly never mentioned again.
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Just like with Crown of Starlight and A Touch of Darkness and all these other "dark romance" stories, it's that brand of "pretends to be sexually liberating but isn't actually" writing, where they'll briefly mention orgies or sex-related things and then beat around the bush or avoid involving them entirely like a kid at Sunday school who doesn't want to say the word "penis".
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(fr out of all the corny and awful slang for genitals I've seen used in stories like this, "a certain part of my anatomy" is definitely one of the most boring and stupid, like for god's sakes Hades you're both adults and at the beginning of this comic you thought she wanted to bang in the kitchen, why are you suddenly talking like a 7 year old boy LOL)
All that aside, while Eros might still be hinted at being queer and sex-positive, it's only as vaguely as possible so that the story can quickly move on to focus on him and Psyche or, better yet, Hades and Persephone. When Eros isn't deadset on finding Psyche, he's being the gay best friend for Persephone, who he has NO right having a friendship with when he introduced himself by intentionally getting her as drunk as possible with the intent of dumping her in Hades' car as per his mom's command. It's brushed off later as "well Aphrodite maaade him do it, for Psycheee!" but Eros still agreed to potentially put Persephone in danger over a relationship that had NOTHING to do with her and was also mostly his fault in its fallout (which Artemis calls him out for, but of course, like all the other times characters have called out the actual issues in the story they're inhabiting, they get brushed aside so that Persephone can talk about Hades):
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Now, the Eros and Psyche plotline is one I've talked about before here and not the focus of this essay so I'll keep this tangent brief, but it's absolutely wild to me that Rachel took a story about a woman going to the ends of the earth to prove her love for someone whose trust she broke (a common theme in a lot of Greek myth stories, such as the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice) and turned it into... woman of color gets turned into a nymph slave for Aphrodite to 'test' Eros, a test that isn't clear at all in what it's trying to achieve, and wait hold up, didn't Eros actually fail that test by kissing Ampelus while completely unaware that it was Psyche-
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This is just that episode of Family Guy where Peter justifies emotionally cheating and eventually physically cheating on Lois because "well you were the phone sex lady the whole time so no harm done!", isn't it? (×﹏×)
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Anyways. It's all very convenient that the comic will hint at queer rep just to either have it be a constant question of whether or not they're actually queer (ex. Morpheus) OR to have it be promptly swept under the rug to make way for other characters/plot points. It's like when mongie tried to be "inclusive" by writing a stereotypical vaguely Asian character with no specific ethnicity just to get angry at her fanbase for calling her out on this that you can't just call a vaguely Asian character "representation" of anything (because Asia is MASSIVE and covers so many different ethnicities and languages and cultures).
Eros is only as gay as he needs to be to fill the role of "gay best friend" for Persephone.
Krokos is no longer a male lover of Hermes but a flower nymph created by Persephone because... apparently we can't dare imply that Hermes would be into anyone besides his unrequited childhood love, Persephone.
Achilles is introduced as a baby even though it makes no sense in the comic's own timeline where Odysseus is presumably already a well-known hero in Olympus, so much so that he was invited to the Panathenea.
Apollo is turned into a flat-out rapist who's only concerned with getting Persephone at all costs and when that doesn't work, he tries to get ANOTHER flower nymph (Daphne) who's actually genuinely interested in him (contrary to the original myth, there's that "swap it subversion" Rachel is known for) to cut her hair so she'll resemble Persephone more because we can't have a single plot point not resolve around Persephone.
Despite there being loads of genderbent characters already, Morpheus is supposedly the only one we're supposed to assume is specifically trans and not just a gender-flipped version of a Greek myth character. Why? Not because Rachel stated so explicitly, not because the comic has actually explored her identity as a trans woman, but because the readers just assumed it in good faith and Rachel was clearly fine with taking credit for trans representation that's only there via assumption (and only confirmed via her mods in Discord, which is... not how you establish canon information in your comic, Rachel.)
Hestia and Athena are part of a chastity club, until uh oh how convenient that they're secretly in a relationship with each other even though it further vilifies them and their morals, particularly Hestia who was promptly called out for being a hypocrite for taking Persephone's coat gifted to her from Hades while secretly being in a relationship the whole time. Not only does the Hestia and Athena relationship manage to commit queer erasure - of two gods who are considered icons in the aroace communities - but it also makes the only two lesbians in the story come across as assholes AND ON TOP OF THAT ALSO manages to somehow invalidate queer sex and relationships as being legitimate due to the even deeper implication that breaking their chastity vows "doesn't count" because it's not a male x female relationship. It's the 'ole poophole loophole all over again.
And then there's Artemis, who has MORE REASON THAN EVER TO BE IN THE PLOT but keeps being conveniently ignored. Her finding out about Hestia and Athena doesn't get any more screentime than her going "oh you're in a relationship, okay" , we never see her question the true intentions of TGOEM or what it means to her, we never see her have any opportunity to carve out her identity beyond just being Apollo's twin sister (it tries to at times, but then immediately goes nowhere with it, amounting to just poetic word salad), and she really just comes across as what a lot of people assume aroace people to be - alone and standoffish, because obviously someone who's nice and a good person would be in a relationship, there has to be a reason they don't want to have sex or fall in love, and that reason obviously has to be that they just hate everyone and want to be alone forever (¬_¬;) Then again, like many of the queer characters in LO, I don't know if I can definitively call her aroace because it's kept as vague as possible, and - going by Rachel's answers to these questions way back in her Tumblr era - apparently people can't be gay and ace at the same time-
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There are undoubtedly loads more examples that I could cover here but that goes for practically any essay I write about LO - the more you peel it apart, the more you start unearthing some really questionable and frankly mean-spirited stuff. Queer people feel largely ignored in LO, alongside many of its derivative offspring such as A Touch of Darkness and Crown of Starlight, and it really speaks to how so many people - queer women, no less - have somehow managed to bastardize and sanitize what were traditionally very queer stories with queer characters. It's like these people think "olden times" and can only get as far as "women were slaves and men were rich assholes". Like, yeah, okay, that was the case for many cultures, but not all of them, and for some of them it wasn't as clear cut as that, many had misogynist power struggles in them while also still celebrating women and queer people in their own way. Greek myth is full of stories of women being forced into marriage or being made the victims of assault, but many of them are supportive of women and their struggles, unlike works like LO that somehow manage to be less feminist and sympathetic to women and queer people than these works from thousands of years ago.
This is another topic that's surely meant for another post, but it really speaks not only to the straightwashing and whitewashing of Greek myth, but also the Westernizing of it. That's not to say Rachel Smythe and Cait Corrain and Scarlett St. Claire are intentionally trying to whitewash another culture's works here, but if you're raised predominantly on Western media, you're undoubtedly going to absentmindedly adopt ideas about society that are primarily molded around Western beliefs .
And this is apparent in LO, while Rachel is from New Zealand, you can tell she grew up on a lot of Western media and its influences are sorely showing through LO's worldbuilding, character designs, and narrative choices. That "modern setting" that I mentioned before is much less Greek and a lot more adjacent to The Kardashians which lends to the theories that most of the media that Rachel consumes is American. Rather than actually going to the effort of doing her research on Greek culture, she seems to just prefer defaulting to the easiest assumption of how modern society is across the board - a generic Los Angeles clone with big glass skyscrapers and pavement walkways. She rarely ever draws food or clothing from those time periods; despite this story being about gods she's spent so little time on the people who passed on the stories about those gods, the mortals, and the gods themselves rarely feel like gods, rather just like Hollywood celebrities covered in body paint. The clothing feels very generic and uninspired with often very little Greek influence, even though Greek clothing is designed around Mediterranean living which you could do a lot with, to such an egregiously Western degree that Hades and Persephone's wedding was Christian-coded. The food... well, there ISN'T any because as we've seen, like the stereotypical American child, Persephone apparently only wants chicken nuggies and Skittles for dinner, so we never see her eat; and not only do we not see Persephone eat, but Rachel weirdly tries to use Persephone's vegetarianism as some kind of anti-capitalist characterization when much of the Greek diet is predominantly vegetarian. It's NOT HARD or uncommon to be a vegetarian in Greece!
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(it looks like they're literally all eating the same thing so IDK what Hera is referring to here, it looks like they're all eating toast and lettuce LMAO)
All that's to say, much of LO - and the books like it that I've gone over here - are written with this idea that every culture - including the one that it's trying to adapt - was subject to the same ideas that Western culture lives by in the modern day - that being a vegetarian is "counterculture" in every culture, that the notion of sexual purity is enforced in the same way it's enforced in the Western education system (cough Christianity cough), that queer or otherwise "unconventional" relationships should stay inside the bedroom and not be seen. As much as Rachel claims she wants to "fight the patriarchy" and "deconstruct purity culture", all she winds up doing is reinforcing it through a Westernized lens, which is, as I've talked about before, very indicative of right-leaning white feminism and what it embraces and promotes - being a "good woman" who follows the rules and willingly becomes part of the system that's oppressing them because that's what "good women" do. Women who are confidant in their sexuality are evil and should be shunned for being "sluts". Women who are in relationships with other women "don't count" as real relationships the same way heteronormative relationships do, and cannot be trusted because they're likely trying to spread an agenda that's designed to brainwash heterocis women. Women should only aim to achieve marriage and their entire personality has to be built around their true love. Women are allowed to be kinky, but only as kinky as roleplaying the exact same gender structures that puts the man in a position to dominate a woman, and it should always and only ever be with her first love who she marries immediately, no one else.
This is exactly what the critics are getting at when they hold LO - and its creator - accountable for the messages it's been sending for five years to its audience of middle aged women and young girls. Having a demographic is fine, if this were just a comic for girls it would be fine, but it becomes a lot more problematic when that demographic is being fed toxic power fantasy stories based on a culture that's being gentrified and sanitized of all its original messaging and characterization right before our eyes. It feels blatantly misinformed from the very beginning in its intention to be a "feminist retelling" of Greek myth, because somehow Lore Olympus manages to be less feminist than these stories drafted and written by men from 2000+ years ago.
I opened this essay with a question: why do we keep getting these Greek myth adaptations written by queer women that still wind up perpetuating toxic heteronormative culture?
I think cases like these really highlight how deep the heteronormative brainwashing from childhood onward goes. That, despite these writers being queer or women, still manage to reinforce the same ideas and tropes and harmful predisposed notions that were designed to be used explicitly against queer people and women. These are things that we can't ever stop challenging, and asking, and truly deconstructing, because it runs deep in many of us who grew up on popular media even as innocent as Disney. Learning about more complex social concepts like sexism and misogyny and queerphobia doesn't automatically absolve us of those very same biases that have been both blatantly and subtly ingrained into us since childhood. All that said, Rachel being bisexual does not mean she's not capable of straightwashing; Cait Corrain being a queer debut author with a POC main character didn't stop them from targeting other POC debut authors at their own imprint; being part of any minority group or identifier does not automatically protect you from perpetuating the cycle that you, too, likely had enforced upon you at some point or another in your life. The fact that these creators and writers are still perpetuating that cycle to begin with is indicative of why it's a cycle at all - it takes work to break on a subconscious level because those cycles are specifically designed to target and hijack the subconscious.
At its worst, do you really think Lore Olympus can claim to be a feminist retelling that's "deconstructing purity culture" when the creator herself admittedly never fully identified or understood sexism until her mid-30's and has the audacity to say her audience is "harsh" on the female characters that she constantly vilifies through her own narrative?
"I feel like female characters in general, people will be a little harsher on them and sometimes way harsher on them, and I used to be like.. before I started writing the story and like making a story I was like yeah, sexism is not that bad, and [now] I was like oh it's bad. It's quite bad [laughs], so like, I don't know, I feel like the female characters in the story don't get so much of a pass. But this isn't consistent across the board, it's not all the time" - Rachel Smythe, in an interview with Girl Wonder Webtoon Podcast
If Lore Olympus truly was just a series meant to be for fun "no thoughts head empty" drama and spice, that would be fine. I've said it time and time before on this blog and I'll say it again: I wouldn't have an issue if Rachel was just writing a story exclusively revolving around heterocis men and women. I'm just frustrated and tired and annoyed that she keeps lying about it, and doubly so that this comic and its creator who claim to be "feminist" have inspired other people in the same headspace to continue to perpetuate that cycle through works that are clearly inspired by LO and never challenged the things LO promoted - violence towards "unconventional" women, violence towards POC, and erasure of queer people. And worst of all, for writers like Cait Corrain, it's more than just writing a really bad book with really bad messaging, it's going so far as intentionally targeting those same groups of people that are regularly vilified in works like LO - people who are just existing, who don't pose a threat to anyone, but had the misfortune of becoming the target of a white woman's insecurity.
I don't know what the answer to this problem is. I don't know what form the solution will come in, if any, to address the ongoing issues with Greek myth adaptions that are being sorely written through an "America as the default" point of view and praised for "rewriting the script of Greek mythology", quite literally cultural appropriation happening live right before our eyes all for the sake of cheap entertainment. Maybe it'll take the failings of works like Crown of Starlight to really get people talking about it. But so long as the roots of these works - such as Lore Olympus - are still being protected and marketed en masse by the same kinds of people who don't see the issue in Americanizing other cultures and their stories, then Lore Olympus and Crown of Starlight will not be the last ones to cause harm to the source material - and the cultures that source material is born from and a part of - they're taking from.
I opened this post with a question, and I'm going to close it with another to really leave it as food for thought. That question comes from another video that I'll link here for you to watch at your convenience that spends even more time diving into and discussing the nature of works like this that have seemingly attempted to "deconstruct" the very dogmas that they still wind up reinforcing all the same.
Does the romance genre have a white supremacy problem?
youtube
(yes. yes, it does.)
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five-bi-five-mind · 1 year
Note
Hey 🤭
I have a really dirty JJ request 🤭🤭🤭
Dom!JJ x sub!f reader
With a corruption kink, reader being younger and “innocent” but eager to please lmao
JJ wearing a strap-on, rough sex, degradation (some consensual slut shaming) and praise kinks and reader calling JJ ma’am/mistress/mommy (your choice) ❤️
Aim To Please
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader
Genre: Smut
Words: 7.1k+
Summary: JJ was in a really bad mood and everything around her just seemed to fuel that fire. So, when you said you wanted to help with it, you didn't expect the request she made.
Warnings: dom/sub dynamics; dom!JJ, sub!r; oral (r giving); face-fucking; oral on a strap (r giving); strap-on (r receiving); rough sex; mommy kink; corruption kink; degradation; praise; cum eating; name calling; light spanking... let me know if I forgot something there was a lot going on in this fic
A/N: As you can tell... I'm bad at summaries but I think I got every one of your requests in there lol
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Today was not her day. Everything was angering her. She was dealing with a stack of paperwork to close up a case that just pissed her off in general. 
To top all of that off, she was running on way too little sleep. Her attempt to get good coffee was thwarted by a line that would’ve made her late. There were way too many people trying to reach her for things that, frankly, weren’t her problem right now. Even when the hours she had planned to be in her office at the BAU ended she still wasn’t done with the massive pile of paperwork she had. 
While she should be off work, instead she came straight home just to go into her personal office and keep working. At least the kids were with Will this week, that way she had some quiet and no distractions from all the work she still had left. It was really putting her in a bad mood that she couldn’t just kick back and relax like she wanted to. 
Her bad mood only soured more when she realized she had messed up and left the hard drive she needed to work from home in her office. She really did not want to take any more of her evening to run back out and get it. But could she afford to put all of this paper work off? No, she really couldn’t. Then, not only would it eat into her evening off, but it would take up even more evenings she desperately needed for herself. The fact that she had no way to relax right now or let off some of this steam from her bad mood was making her even more frustrated with herself.
There had to be some solution that wouldn’t lose her too much time. She sat back on her chair, her hands covering her eyes as she tried to push past her frustration and brainstorm solutions. Her mind was too fixated on the day for her to think very clearly, but then she remembered the biggest cause of her bad mood and why she was so easily irritated by everything. Finally, an idea came to her.
Her hand reached for her phone on the desk and she immediately sent out a text.
You were two seconds away from heading out of the BAU yourself when you got her message. “Bring me my hard drive in the top drawer” was the first message you received from JJ. The second was her address. There was no please, there were no other details. She didn’t indicate that you could wait and give it to her later or that she cared that it was time for your work day to end. It was implied that you needed to go to her place now. You groaned when you saw the message. Today was long and you had plans. Looks like you’d have to postpone. 
JJ didn’t even feel bad about the demanding text she sent. You were an intern after all, it was your job to be available for the team. It was in the job description, you should expect it. Plus, you were the cause of half of her frustration today. Even though there were other interns, she specifically chose you for that reason.
See the thing is, you drove her a little bit crazy. When you started at the BAU she was instantly drawn to you. Your smile was so contagious and the way you happily helped with JJ and others on the team was endearing to her. You were just so eager to be part of the BAU, even if you were just another intern. The way you starkly contrasted the nature of the work the team saw every day with your bright and bubbly personality was a breath of fresh air. JJ loved the way you seemed so innocent. Soon into your internship, all she could think about was taking that innocent spirit of yours all for herself.
She thought you were aware of this wanting. In all honesty, she wasn’t exactly subtle with the way she looked at you all day every single day you two worked together. She thought you noticed the way she practically undressed you with her eyes. The obliviousness you showed towards it, in her mind, had to be an act. Part of a little game of cat and mouse that you two played. Apparently, after today, she was wrong.
There were definitely some interns JJ didn’t care for. One of them was a cocky young man who was way too self-centered and charming. No doubt he got this internship at the BAU with the money his daddy had. What earned him negative points in JJ’s book was the way he flirted with everyone else. If one girl rejected him, he’d brush it off and move onto the next. He’d do that even if a girl didn’t reject him too. JJ was worried about the day he decided to pursue you too and apparently just had to be today.
She really thought you’d tell him off or tell her to tell him off. Why she thought that, she wasn’t sure. It was very much not in your kind nature. But the thing is, JJ thought you two had an understanding that the only person to openly flirt with you in the BAU was her. Now, she realized you didn’t even know she was flirting and to make things worse, if you knew this man was flirting, you didn’t seem to care. 
He followed you around like a damn puppy. JJ thought the same display of innocence in your face was what was really drawing him in. You didn’t fawn over him like the other girls did and you didn’t flat out reject him like the ones who saw through his motives. Instead, you were just friendly to him and it pissed her off.
At the end of the day, the way he kept pushing his luck was infuriating. What really put JJ over the edge was the conversation she overheard. He asked you if you wanted to get drinks after work and you cluelessly said yes. That was it, JJ thought, that was the last hope she had of you avoiding his charm. Drinks would surely lead to more, at least JJ thought so. After hearing you say yes, nothing was going to save her shitty mood. She only fumed more when she couldn’t take the rest of the evening to drink a glass (or maybe three) of wine and try to forget that she let the opportunity to have you in her arms instead of his slip away.
But then, when she sat down and realized her hard drive was missing, it was the perfect excuse to thwart that man’s plans. Maybe it didn’t cancel your plans; she could imagine you asking him to wait just a little longer before meeting with drinks, but at least she delayed it. As JJ sat back on her desk chair and waited for you to arrive, she thought maybe she could find a few other ways to keep your little date postponed. If she was lucky, she could completely ruin your evening like you ruined hers. Even if you had no idea that you were responsible for that.
The knock came on her door in no time and JJ was honestly impressed for a moment by the speed in which you got there. A thought occurred to her a moment later, however, and her mood got even worse. You probably rushed over here so you had more time to meet for drinks with that asshole intern. 
When she opened the door for you, she didn’t say much. She just gestured for you to follow her in as she basically stomped her way over to her office with you in tow. You were instantly anxious over the way she greeted you with such an unwelcoming attitude, but you followed her anyway. It would’ve been much easier to just hand her the USB and go, but you thought doing that would just piss her off more. Plus, you had a feeling this bad mood was from how overworked she seemed to be lately at the BAU. Obviously, she wasn’t happy that she was taking some of that work home with her. Maybe you could help, offer to look over whatever you were allowed to look over. You canceled your plans the minute you got the text from JJ, so it wasn’t like you had anything better to do. 
“Um…” You shuffled awkwardly where you stood in the middle of JJ’s home office. You’ve never been in here, let alone her place in general. It would excite you to be here if she wasn’t practically fuming as she sat herself back down at her desk. “I’m sorry, you had to take your work home with you.”
“It is what it is,” she grumbled as she plugged the USB into her laptop and immediately started typing away. 
“Can I help with any of it somehow?”
“I don’t know you possibly could.” Her tone was sharp and she didn’t even bother to look up at you. Originally, yes, she had the plan to keep you here longer and get your date postponed, but she was also still incredibly frustrated. The minute you walked through the door to her home she realized it wasn’t the way she wanted things to happen. She had the image in her mind that the first time you’d be here, she’d be pulling you through her halls while ripping your clothes off. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen now. So, instead, JJ just resorted to being downright harsh. 
“Okay, well,” you sighed. “I guess I’ll get going then.”
“You do that,” JJ spit as she kept up her work. If you wanted to go be with that arrogant prick then so be it. Let him disappoint you the way you were disappointing her. If you just opened your eyes for a second, you’d realize JJ would treat you so much better than anyone else ever good. The thought that someone else would be doing the things that JJ was dying to do to you was just pissing her off more. 
“I– JJ, did I do something?” You definitely sounded hurt. JJ would almost feel bad if she wasn’t already so far gone in her frustration. 
“It’s what you didn’t do,” she said, her jaw visibly clenching as she kept typing. 
“What I didn’t do?” You repeated in disbelief. “I offered to help! You’re the one not letting me!”
Not letting you? JJ wondered if you heard how ridiculous you sounded. Okay, maybe you were right, but that wasn’t the point. She fully blamed you for this bad mood now and everything you were doing was the exact opposite of helping. How could you possibly not realize that? Her want for you was causing her to lose her temper and it shouldn’t be like that. At least that’s what JJ thought. Maybe you were really as innocent as you appeared to be, but JJ had been throwing you big hints. You never picked up on any of them, never initiated a single thing that told JJ it was finally okay to make her move, yet you say okay to drink with a man that clearly wanted in your pants? And even then you have the audacity to ask how you can help her? No, no, you were being ridiculous, not JJ. She thought losing control of her temper and jealousy was entirely valid at this point.
“You want to help so fucking badly?” JJ finally looked up from her computer. Her eyes were burning with rage and all you could do was stand there, so confused as to why you seemed to be fueling this fire.
“Yes!” You were desperate now. “Yes, I’m just trying to do a good job here,” you cried. “I don’t know why you’re so angry. I don’t know what it was that I apparently didn’t do. What do you want from me?” 
“God,” JJ growled. “If you’d just shut up and get on your fucking knees we wouldn’t be having this problem.” She said that without thinking. Honestly, she really did. It was a mixture of the anger she was feeling and the pent up want she had for you. The minute those words were out of her mouth the whole room went still. 
Your eyes widened at what she said. JJ’s body froze. She didn’t let her face show the shock she felt for letting that slip. It didn’t even mean to come out, and her jaw clenched as she waited for you to react. 
JJ expected you to do one of two things: Yell and throw much deserved accusations her way or run like hell out of her house and report her ass. Either way, she could practically picture the long HR conversation she was bound to have this week. Except, you didn’t do either of the things she was expecting. In fact, you didn’t do anything at all for a moment. You just stood there and stared at her in utter shock.  
Shit, JJ thought as she started to get up from her desk chair. You were still staring at her in disbelief and she could see the blush forming on your face. If she didn’t just royally fuck up the way she did, she would be enjoying the deer-caught-in-headlights look you were wearing. Obviously, you weren’t expecting her to say anything like that to you. Hell, she wasn’t expecting to say that tonight either. But what did intrigue her was, while you might be frozen in place, you still didn’t leave or even protest. No, instead you just looked a bit flushed and there was a gradual shift from shock to something else in your eyes. It was wishful thinking on JJ’s part that the look in your eye could mean interest. Or maybe, if JJ was the type of woman who took bets, it could even be a look of arousal.  
The worst part was, she would’ve won that bet, because you definitely were aroused the instant those words left her lips. You shifted where you stood, not that JJ noticed when her eyes were too busy reading your own. The heat in your cheeks she did notice though. It was only getting worse the longer you stood there and let her gawk at you. Her eyebrow arched when she did, indeed, pick up on the fact that your reaction perhaps wasn’t all that negative. 
She was waiting for you to do something now. Still unsure of how you felt about her outburst. The problem was, there wasn’t much you could think to do. Was she serious? The fact that you almost did exactly what you were asked immediately made you a bit embarrassed, but what if that’s really what she wanted? You said you wanted to help and if that was her request... Maybe you really should fulfill it. 
Your eyes shifted to the floor for a minute and then back up at her. JJ’s expression still hadn’t changed from the quizzical one that replaced her anger. She was waiting for you to act. And as she saw your eyes flick to the floor before looking back at her, you saw even more of a change in her expression. It was miniscule to anyone else, but you personally spent a lot of time staring at JJ and her eyes, so you didn’t miss the shift in them. Blue eyes looked back at you with pupils blown until they were almost completely black. That small detail in and of itself is what told you she was dead serious. It was also all it took to make your mind up. 
“Okay.” You said it with a confidence you didn’t even know you had. 
“Okay?” JJ’s head tilted to the side. That was another unexpected response from you. She kind of thought the reason you were still here was to discuss this. She had the feeling you’d be the type to talk out your feelings for each other before just falling into bed with her. But in that very moment, you proved her completely wrong.
“Okay,” you repeated and got on your knees. JJ shot around her desk so fast when she saw you do that. There was no way she was missing a moment of this the second she realized you actually were getting on your knees for her. 
“Wow,” JJ breathed as she stopped right in front of you. She had pictured this exact scenario countless times, but it still didn’t prepare her for just how amazing you looked on your knees. The way you looked up at her with such innocent eyes was replacing the last tendrils of rage in her body with white hot desire instead. There were so many things she thought about doing to you at that moment. “You look so pretty like that.” 
You shifted your gaze to the floor as your face flushed, but JJ’s hand came up to cup your chin and pull you back up to look at her.
“Don’t look away from me,” she ordered. Her tone wasn’t harsh though. Not yet at least, not when she was still fairly certain you would be one who’s easily scared off. Although, so far you’ve been reacting in the exact opposite way than she’s expected. 
“I’m only going to say this once,” she started as her thumb ran gently over your bottom lip. “You have an out right now, if you don’t want to do this then this is your one and only chance to get up and leave. But if you stay, then you’re going to do everything I tell you to.”
Her thumb still traced your bottom lip as you soaked in exactly what she was asking of you. You knew that was her way of warning you that tonight was going to be a very different experience than anything and anyone you’ve encountered in your past romantic history. The idea of that only thrilled you more.
“I’m staying,” you mumbled. “I’ll do anything you want.”
JJ’s smirk at your answer looked downright devilish and caused a shiver to run down your spine. “Good,” she hummed. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.” Her thumb pressed down on your lip until you were forced to part them. “First, I’m going to use that pretty mouth of yours.” JJ’s thumb pressed harder until your lips fell open even more and you willingly took it into your mouth. She immediately bit her lip, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of running the pad of her thumb against your tongue. When she dragged it back out of your mouth, she gave a satisfied hum at the way you seemed disappointed by the loss of contact. You were already being so good for her and she didn’t even really have to ask yet. 
When JJ’s hands fell from you and to the buckle of her belt, that’s when you started to feel a little nervous. Things were getting real, but still you didn’t want to back out. You just didn’t know and definitely weren’t prepared for the intensity JJ had in store for you. 
When her belt was undone and her button popped open from her pants, she grabbed you by your hair and pulled you until you were forced to brace yourself on her thighs. She didn’t react to the wince she caused when her grip tightened and your hands frantically grasped at her. “Do you know what to do or am I going to have to show you?” she asked in a threatening tone. This was certainly a new, darker side of JJ. One that you honestly didn’t see coming, but still you weren’t complaining.
You shook your head and tried to readjust on your knees so that you weren’t practically falling over on her anymore. You could do this for her; you could figure it out. If you didn’t know how, JJ was determined to make you learn. 
Your hands moved up her thighs and tugged down at her pants and underwear, just enough to give you access to her pussy. She was already so wet, just from the sight of you on your knees and the anticipation of feeling your tongue inside her drove her wild. Part of her thought she should savor this moment, but a large part of her desperately needed to see your face wrecked and covered in her cum.  That part won out. 
Again, she tugged on your hair until you were closer to her. You stopped with your face right in between her legs. She looked down at you expectantly and you knew that you needed to get rid of all your hesitation once and for all, so you tried your best to. Your tongue peaked out from your lips and started a slow, long lick over her clit. That alone had JJ shuddering above you and clenching the fist that currently had a strong hold on your head. Loving the reactions you were eliciting from her, you repeated the action once, twice and then more until you set a steady pace of lapping at her pussy while her body twitched above you.
But it wasn’t enough for her. She needed to claim you and she needed it now. “Stick out your tongue,” JJ ordered as she pulled your head back for just a second to make sure you were listening. “I’m going to fuck your face.” She didn’t even wait for a response before pulling you back in.
This time your hands flew back to her thighs so you could brace yourself again as you did exactly what JJ asked and let her run her entire pussy over your tongue. She wasn’t going slow either. The way she felt your tongue run over her clit and her entrance was enough for her to already lose control of her actions. She had this idea, originally, that she would pace herself with you. Her goal was always to be rough with you, but she wanted to ease you into it. She wanted to slowly take away your innocence, not fuck your face right off the bat. But then, she was feeling possessive and that anger still felt like it had her all twisted and pent up, not to mention the fact that just being around you and not getting to fuck you yet was already a build up on it’s own for her. Taking it slow was just not something she had the patience for anymore. She needed to cum and she needed you to help her with that.
To add to how much JJ was enjoying this, she didn’t miss the way you were squeezing your legs together underneath her. With each grind of her hips against your face, she saw the way you shifted and tried to get some relief for the ache you were surely feeling. It was going to be so easy to turn you into a mess beneath her if you were already struggling and she hadn’t even touched you yet.
“I knew this was what you wanted,” JJ groaned when she heard you moaning into her pussy. “You wanted me to fuck you since the moment we met. Isn’t that right?” 
All you could do was hum as JJ’s hips moved even harder. She was holding your head in place with a painfully tight grip as she ground into your mouth even harder. The way she was panting and groaning had you so wet, you were sure your panties were beyond ruined. 
“I’ll let you in on a little secret.” JJ’s voice was winded as she spoke now and you could tell from the way her hips rocked into your face with a more erratic rhythm that she was getting close. “I’ve wanted to ruin you since the moment we met too.”
She threw her head back after that and kept you tightly pressed to her pussy. It was hard for you to breathe through all of it, but she didn’t care. Instead of letting you get any sort of air, she forced you to press your tongue to her clit as she finally came with a satisfied moan. 
When she pulled your head back finally, you gulped down air. JJ took a few deep breaths herself and her legs trembled ever so slightly from the way you made her cum. Her hands finally let go of your head and she took a step back, only for you to fall forward, catching yourself quickly on your hands. She looked down at you when she heard you huff as you caught yourself. You were on all fours and you looked like an absolute mess. Her cum was smeared over your mouth and chin and you were still trying to catch your breath from it. That image gave her an idea of exactly what she wanted to do next. 
“Get up.” JJ didn’t even care that you were still struggling to regain your composure. “And follow me.” 
“O-okay,” you panted as you tried to get back up and off your now sore knees. JJ was already out the door of her home office before you really could gain your balance. You scrambled to catch up, following her down the hall until you reached what you easily guessed was her bedroom. 
You honestly felt lucky that you were being allowed to enter Jennifer Jareau’s bedroom. Never in your wildest dreams did you think it would happen. That didn’t stop you from daydreaming about it, but you really had no idea that the whole time JJ stared at you, she was secretly thinking about all the ways she could fuck you. You kind of thought all her staring meant she didn’t like you. She didn’t exactly smile at you when you caught her looking. Instead, she always wore what you thought was a very serious gaze. It’s only now that you realized it was a gaze of hunger for you rather than anger towards you.
“Strip.” JJ’s order shook you from your thoughts and your eyes snapped to where she had gone. She was in the corner of her room, digging around in the bottom drawer of her dresser. 
You did exactly as you were told, but kept your eyes on JJ. Whatever she was digging for, you didn’t know, but you were incredibly curious about it. Still, you continued to pull off your clothes as you waited for her. The fact that, after you pulled the last piece of clothing from your body and now you were bare naked in her bedroom while she was fully clothed, made you nervous again. Hopefully soon JJ would let you take her clothes off, but something told you that if you asked, you’d be breaking JJ’s wishes for you to be obedient. She was in control after all, and it seemed very clear to you that she didn’t want that challenged.
But then she turned around and the thing you saw dangling in her hand had your jaw drop. 
“JJ I haven’t– I’ve never done that before,” you stuttered. Resting in JJ’s hand was the straps to a harness and a decently sized dildo. Fingers, you’ve experienced, but you definitely haven’t had anything more than two and the size of the toy in her hand definitely seemed bigger and longer than that. 
She didn’t even seem phased by your trepidation. She just started to, thankfully, pull off her own clothes. You waited for any kind of response for her. But as she finished undressing and started to pull on the harness and situate the toy, you realized you weren’t going to get an answer. 
“JJ–”
She held up a hand to cut you off when the straps were tightened just right around her hips. “You’ll be fine,” she said as she took a few steps towards you. 
“But I haven’t–”
“Was today the first time anyone’s fucked your face?” Your eyes went wide at the bluntness of the question, but still you nodded hesitantly. “You did fine with that,” she said. “You’ll take this.” That last comment sounded more like a promise than words of comfort. You gulped hard when JJ stopped in front of you.
Her arms slipped around your waist and for a minute her touch was gentle. It was reassuring and just enough to let you stop worrying about what JJ was expecting of you. Her hands traced along the bare skin of your back as she leaned into you and finally, for the first time that night, her lips met yours. The kiss was slow; gentle even. It was her way of lulling you into a sense of agreement with her that you’d be just fine taking the toy that was currently strapped to her hips. 
You kissed her back, quickly parting your lips for her to run her tongue along your own. But the moment her tongue made contact with yours, that switch flipped back on and she was back to being impatient. With her arms around you, she pulled you so your bare body was flush against hers. The way you felt the cold silicon of her strap-on hit your thigh made you jump, but you didn’t have much time to react as JJ took one of your lips in between her teeth and pulled. 
When JJ released your lip, her hands moved to your hips and turned you around. Lips fell on your neck where she began to lick and suck at the sensitive skin there. You couldn’t stop the way your breath hitched when you felt her teeth sink down particularly hard on a very visible part of your neck. Eventually,  your legs hit the edge of the bed and JJ finally let go of you only to give you a hard shove down. You fell down onto the mattress with a thud and JJ climbed onto the bed and knelt above you. When you looked back up the head of her strap was right in your face. It looked bigger this way and you were nervous all over again. 
“JJ, it looks really… big.” 
“Don’t think about that,” JJ said as she knelt before you. Her hand fell back to the top of your head, this time grabbing a handful of your hair but not as hard. “Either way, you’re going to be a good girl and take it for me. I suggest you start sucking on it first.”
“What?!” She really was trying to give you a handful of firsts in one evening. If you hadn’t ever taken a strap before, you most certainly haven’t given one head. 
“You’re probably wet enough,” she started as she urged your head forward, “but this will get it wet and help you take it even better.”
Your eyes flicked back and forth between it and her, but eventually you decided to pluck up some courage and do what you were told. After all, she said she wanted you to be good and you desperately wanted to please her. Your lips wrapped around the head of JJ’s silicon cock and slowly you took it into your mouth. Above you, you heard JJ take in a sharp breath. Her fist flexed on your head, but she didn’t dare push you. Her goal wasn’t to fuck your face with it like she did just moments ago. This genuinely was her way of trying to get you used to it and make it a little easier for you to take. Sure, she could’ve used lube. She had a tube of it in her dresser specifically for you because she thought you’d need it. But then, she wanted to keep corrupting you and what better way to ruin your innocent little image than making you suck her cock. 
When you took most of it into your mouth and looked up at her, that’s when JJ really started to struggle. Her hips moved on their own, rolling forward slightly, but still it was just enough for you to back up. Immediately, her hand combed through your hair and she cooed at you, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay,” as she encouraged you to take it into your mouth again. You did and she gently and cautiously guided your head to bob up and down on it just a little bit longer. But still that feeling of her control was slipping and the fact that you had your lips wrapped around her strap with her cum still on your face was really making it so hard to keep her cool.
After another minute of it, she pulled you off of it. “Good,” she praised breathlessly. “You did so good for mommy.” 
The name stopped you both. It slipped out just like before. She really didn’t mean to say it, much like she didn’t mean to say what kickstarted all of this. Just like that instance, though, your reaction wasn’t what she expected. You just looked up at her, face flushed and messy, but pride shining in your eyes. So… you liked the idea of calling her mommy then. That was an interesting little perk that boosted the power trip JJ was already running on. 
“Now what?” You asked with such innocence. How you could totally gain back that look of pure wonder and eagerness after just having her pussy and her strap in your mouth? JJ would never understand how you could do it. But still you were looking up at her from where you sat, naked on her bed, and waiting for more orders. 
“Now,” JJ said as she backed up a little on the bed, “you’re going to get on all fours and take my cock like the good little slut I know deep down you’re dying to be.”
The language she was using really got a rise out of you. Never had someone spoken to you like that and you didn’t realize how wet it made you. You were also so fucking obvious. JJ could tell that it turned you on to be treated like this and spoken to like you were nothing but her little toy. That’s kind of what you were to her now, whether you realized it yet. She finally had you in her grasp and she was going to fuck you until you were on the brink of breaking. It wasn’t even just about fucking you. No, she was going to claim you and ruin you like she promised. With the way she was going to fuck you, she was going to make sure you were ruined for anyone else. Just hers, that’s how it should always be. She’d make sure you knew that after tonight you were just hers. 
JJ didn’t wait for you to move before she had a hold of your hips and started to flip you around. You immediately found yourself on your hands and knees again, which meant you couldn’t see what she was doing with the strap as she knelt on the bed and positioned herself. That made it both frightening and exciting, but you were so fucking wet you could feel it on your thighs. At this point, you didn’t care how big it looked, you just needed JJ to finally be inside you.
When she pushed the head of her cock into you, you weren’t immediately prepared for the burn of her stretching your pussy out. Your head fell back and your fists clenched the blankets on the mattress until they turned white as JJ bottomed out inside you. The echo of JJ’s low, guttural moan filled the room as she watched her cock stretch and disappear inside you. She started slow, pulling out almost all the way before easing it back in. You were already making such pretty noises for her. With each time her hips ground just a little into you when they were flush with your ass and her cock was all the way in, you’d let out a small whine. Eventually, you were getting used to the way you felt your pussy being stretched and when JJ started to pick up the pace, you met her thrusts with your own, trying to fuck yourself on your cock.
“Doing so good, baby,” JJ groaned as her hands gripped your hips and kept you steady. “Taking mommy’s cock so fucking good.”
You just whimpered at that and kept trying to fuck yourself against her cock. JJ was getting faster now, but still holding back as much as she could so you could adjust a little more to this new sensation. She wanted to ruin your pussy, but she didn’t actually want to break you… Just get you close to that point. When your moans got louder and JJ could see your wetness dripping down your thighs, however, she decided you were adjusted enough. 
Suddenly, JJ used all her strength to fuck her cock into you. Her thrusts were fast and hard and you cried out with the way it was hitting just the right spot inside you. She was really not holding back and soon your grip on the mattress slipped. That didn’t stop JJ, though. As you fell forward, her hand shot out to your hair. With your face already hitting the mattress and your ass up in the air for JJ to keep fucking your pussy from behind, she used this opportunity to bend over you and push your face even harder into the bed. Your cries were getting muffled by the mattress, but JJ didn’t really mind that. Not when she had you in this position. She never thought you could look so absolutely filthy when you were always so god damn innocent, but the way your legs were spread and your ass was pressing into her hips just made you look like an utter mess. 
“Such a fucking whore for me,” JJ growled as she fucked you harder. One hand went from your hip to land a hard smack on your ass. All you did was let out a pitiful whine. You were trying your hardest to keep yourself in pace with JJ. The best you could do was grind back a little harder into her cock, but still it was enough to get you off even faster.
JJ could tell from the way you were crying out her name any time she pumped particularly hard into you that you were two seconds away from coming. She wanted you to cum all over her cock and just the thought of that made her go even faster. You were repeating her name in between moans until finally, when JJ’s hand met your ass for another smack, you came. With a loud cry, JJ watched as you released all over her cock. The moan she let out at the sight almost matched yours in volume and she decided she definitely wasn’t done with you.
Her strap left you for just a second. You hadn’t even come down from your orgasm or caught your breath before JJ flipped your body over until your back was on the mattress. She grabbed at your hips again and swiftly pulled you back down onto her cock. The way she put her entire body behind the power of her thrusts this time had you practically screaming. She was fucking you so hard and you already felt entirely too sensitive. The way your body shook and shuddered with each pump of her cock made JJ mesmerized. You really were taking her way better than she even expected.
Her lips crashed into yours and all you could was struggle to kiss her back as muffled moans were swallowed by her. Your hands flew to her back. Nails dug into her skin in a way that was sure to leave marks, but JJ didn’t care. She just needed to see you cum at least one more time for her. 
And she got her wish. After two more hard pumps of her hips, she felt more than saw the way you fell apart on her strap yet again. Your back arched off the mattress as she pulled this second orgasm from you. You were forced to break the kiss just so you could turn your head into the bed as you came. When the orgasm finally ran through your body you collapsed back onto the mattress.
There was no way you could take anymore, at least for a little while. JJ knew that and, thankfully, pulled out after a moment. You didn’t move when she did, all you could manage to do was lay there and try to get your heart and breathing under control. 
JJ moved to kneel between your legs. Her fingers reached out and ran over the wetness that was covering your thighs. You shivered slightly at the teasing touch, but still kept your head down on the mattress, too tired to move much. JJ took the finger that was covered in your cum and brought it to her lips. The satisfied moan she let out when she tasted you had your head pop back up to see what she was doing. Her eyes were closed as she slowly withdrew her finger from her own mouth. 
You thought you were spent, you really did. And in a sense, you were. You even felt sore from how hard JJ had just fucked you, but still you found yourself getting wet all over again from that act. 
“We’re not done yet,” JJ said as she licked her lips. “First, I’m going to get you some water and you’re going to take a minute to rest. Then we’re going to go again.”
“Again?!” You were lying if you said you didn’t want to, but also you couldn’t imagine how your body would hold up if she kept fucking you the way she was. 
“You said you wanted to help…” 
JJ didn’t wait to hear anymore of your protests. Honestly, you didn’t protest much after that. When JJ came back with your water, it took all of two seconds before she was on you again and again and again. By the end of the night you were so fucked out by her that she had to practically carry you to her shower. Even then, she dropped to her knees on the shower floor and ate you out like there was no tomorrow. 
Despite being utterly ruined by JJ, you still felt a weird sense of pride. How many people can say they helped bring JJ out of one of her bad moods? You said you wanted to be helpful… And you certainly were.
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demodraws0606 · 8 months
Text
What Cyberpunk DeadBoy Means and What it's Potentially Foreshadowing (aka very complicated analysis that makes a lot of sense and could happen depending on how colorpalet is feeling while writing the story)
Now I'm seeing so many people like running around wondering what this event could mean for the future for multiple reasons and like I've made like one post throwing my hat into the ring.
I've been frustrated with people's unwillingness to realise that this comm is prob foreshadowing because this is not the first time Colorpalet has hidden foreshadowing into comms weither subtely or not
Exemple's being :
-Akito's second comm foreshadowing his third event
-Lower's cover art literally foreshadowing what would happen to Mafuyu's phone in her event
-88 vocals being emurui and nenekasa foreshadowing the kind of dynamic the disbandement arc had with nenekasa wanting to move forward with emurui being scared of isolation
-Probably way better exemples that I forgot
I've seen people make Some assumptions which I don't agree with but there is one thing I think is true
There is 100 pourcent gonna be struggle between corporation/reality and WxS.
Purely because that's been WxS's entire theme since the beginning. They constantly bash you over the head with the theme of compromising with reality and the importance of dreams. In fact the pick of Maiki-P is not at all surprising as he basically has the same message WxS has just... well harsher.
The Big thing people have ignored however is by focusing on the lyrics, they've ignored something that's personally to me even more telling and that's the line distribution
We know for a fact colorpalet loves to mess around with line distribution, weither it's to make characters say lines that fit them or to kind of foreshadow their headspace.
Now something Big happens with the line distribution of Cyberpunk Deadboy that i've seen NO ONE notice and that's in the last chorus (that and also Tsukasa's lines which people have pointed out but it works less on it's own which is why I'm gonna analyse his lines afterwards).
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This is the only time the chorus is like that, the others have a much more even distribution.
In fact the distribution choice makes it look like the rest of WxS is Talking to Rui.
It's even more evident considering the lines they chose to make WxS sing compared to only just Rui
Emu/Tsukasa/Nene saying kimi (you)
Rui saying boku (i)
Which honestly makes me think this is colorpalet foreshadowing some kind of issue reguarding specifically Rui. Remember Emu's second event ? The story of Rilley whose imagination was crippled by the industry to the point where he didn't really have any artistic vision until Emu's grandpa helped him.
In fact remember how the flashback that showcases that has Rilley working on a film
Now we get to Tsukasa's line which have been pointed out to be kind of sus but it's not just his lines.
Tsukasa refuses to sing with Rui (unless it's a line they all sing together but i consider those exceptions). In fact pretty much everyone has a duo line with each other except those two.
In fact in the section where Rui has duo lines with everybody, Tsukasa is the only one he doesnt sing with and the visuals make it clear that it's something that we're supposed to find strange
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And then we of course have Tsukasa's solo lines
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Tsukasa is the only one that say "fuzakeruna" outside of Rui (of course ignoring entire group WxS lines) and i've seen some people pointed out how it sounds like he's saying it in response to Rui's lines. Which I agree with.
Then we got his big boy solo lines
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These lines will make more sense with my theory/analysis but right now if we go with the idea that WxS in the last chorus were speaking to Rui and Tsukasa in this comm refuses to sing with Rui then this implies those lines are Tsukasa speaking to Rui.
And this is where the insanity begins because people have pointed out a concerning trend with Ruikasa that I know some people use for shipping fuel but for me kinda feels more so like foreshadowing.
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IGNORING all the ARG ass weirdness of the Fixer 2dmv, this choice to switch Ruikasa's colors have to mean something in my opinion outside of just wholesome shipping influence especially considering the two songs they do this are less than jovial.
What this kind of color switching signifies to me is that, Ruikasa somehow are/or will switch places.
And with that let me bring back Tsukasa's lines
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These lines stand out because Tsukasa before remembering his dreams was extremely shallow only doing things for fame and probably the money that would come with it.
Now if you think about everything I've layed out I think you can gain a pretty clear picture.
Of Rui falling into the trap Rilley did, becoming jaded and losing the true motivation of his dream (or at least starting to have doubts). Becoming stuck with the struggle of managing dreams and reality.
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Rui's costume even has a mask which can be a metaphor for his artistic voice and individuality being silenced .
Which now you get into the line distribution where WxS is implied to be talking to Rui.
And you get to Tsukasa, who is refusing to sing with Rui and in fact seems to be arguing with Rui if we really want to overthink it. In fact almost switching their roles from the main story.
Because Tsukasa has grown now and how else to show that growth than to switch Rui and Tsukasa's perspectives/roles.
Now how this would happen really depends since there are multiple ways they can go about it with the time they have.
There is obviously mystery dude dude (who i know now is sakaki) who still gives me bad vibes. However there is actually two way they can make mystery dude trigger this sort of plot :
-Mystery dude is malicious and actively manipulates/confronts Rui to make him rethink his worldview
-Mystery dude isn't malicious but instead is just jaded/has been through a lot of industry bullshit which ends up rubbing off on Rui accidentally
But you can even just not have mystery dude involved with this at all (which i doubt but still) because you know what loose plotpoint is still lingering over WxS, fucking Asahi
Rui still has not talked about Asahi to WxS, in fact Curtain Call ends on an explicit cliffhanger which is never really emotionally concluded (at least in Rui's own events, technically the arc ender did but there are still a lot of loose threads from that arc). Why would Colorpalet make Asahi come back after Rui graduates, they could've just had him disappear into the sunset but instead they hint at his potential comeback.
Unless Rui will be forced to again confront similar feelings he did during Curtain Call this time with possibly an added layer of whatever happens during WxS's freelance arc.
Anyways yeah this is overly complicated but then again colorpalet is not being easy with us so...yeah.
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doberbutts · 7 months
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(Some other guy entirely here) I do think there's not much of a reason to be so against the terms tma/tme though, and I don't really understand why some people are? Like, in the same way we want a word to describe our experiences so do transfems, and while I do believe that all trans people are affected by transphobia and misogyny, it's obviously also true that we're affected by it differently depending on how we present, cause otherwise we'd all be satisfied with just the term transphobia (not saying anything new here so far)
So, since it just so happened that the term transmisogyny was coined to mean specifically the oppression transfems face (regardless of what anyone might feel on the matter, that is what it means in practice), what's really so wrong with having terminology to specify whether you're affected by it or not in online discussions of specifically transmisogyny? I'd think that would be relevant enough information, and you're not obligated to share it unless you want to.
I think what's really bothering a lot of people is that these terms exist for half of our community but there's no acceptable equivalent for the other half, and there's constant backlash against attempts to fill that void in the language. But that's not the fault of anyone who advocates for the use of tme/tma, or rather, they are separate issues that I don't believe should be conflated even if the proponents of tme/tma are the same people who are against specific terms for transmasc oppression.
When we do this, from the pov of trans women we are the ones rejecting their terminology and trying to silence them when they talk about their discrimination, and since we know exactly how that feels, I think we as a community should take a step back on the matter and just let it be.
Just because we feel dismissed when it comes to a similar matter doesn't mean we should dismiss in turn.
Not that anyone needs my permission or anything for this but:
I don't really have any problem with the words transmisogyny or trans-misogyny, as I think they are valuable labels to discuss a specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny.
I am not sure I necessarily have a problem with the terms TMA or TME themselves, outside of that I think it is not possible to be exempt from oppression because it will apply to you even if the label itself is wrong. This is also how hate crime and discrimination law works in this country- it is both your label and what the offender thinks of you, not just one or the other.
In other words, the guy who screamed at me about how I'm a Mexican is incorrect because I'm not Mexican, but it is still considered to be discrimination against Mexicans because it was his hatred of Mexicans that fueled the attack. It doesn't mean that actual Mexicans aren't the actual targets or this, but it does mean that it's not possible for me to be exempt from anti-Mexican sentiment. It doesn't mean that hatred of Mexicans doesn't exist, it does mean that if I want to stop getting screamed at for saying non-English words while visibly brown (I said pate, which is FRENCH and not Spanish, in reference to a can of dog food he was buying), then I need to ally myself with Mexicans and see what I can do to help decrease this hatred of Mexicans within my country.
What I do have a problem with is how these words are used and applied.
Caster Semenya is a "TME" intersex woman who was caught by transmisogynist Olympic rulings intended to hurt trans women, and to this day is still not recognized as a woman. How is this exempt from transmisogyny? She is literally being affected by transmisogyny- and interphobia, and misogynoir, and lesbophobia. And there are more examples than that, but this will already be a long enough post.
Moreover, I'm finding a lot of hypocrisy in the theory itself, labeling certain instances of oppression as things only TMA people experience and then refusing to listen when TME people say that they experience it too. I don't really care what or how people talk about their own experiences, but I do think it's a little ridiculous to be told that someone else who is not me can tell me what I experience better than I can. And then refuse to listen when I say that I have felt the hurts they're saying don't apply to me.
If TMA/TME had stayed within the limits you've set, being about descriptors of your own personal experience rather than trying to apply theory to entire demographics in a way that very little other theorycrafting does, I wouldn't have cared. Unfortunately that's not how it's being used and I don't like that.
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faith369 · 7 months
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Hi I hope you take request sooo I was thinking about Captain Price and his female secretary. She's young and innocent and captain really really like it.A lot of tension between them (we know what kind 😉) . A little smut at the end and maybe a confession. I hope you'll like it, if not then it's okay. Btw I love your work
Thank you 🖤
I do not like this request I love it.
Your cheeks felt like they were on fire, a heat spreading through your body, just from the Captain calling you a good girl while he passed by a few seconds ago. You shouldn't feel like this, he's older and, most importantly, your boss. Luckily the stack of documents and files reminded you that work wasn't going to get done by itself, you had just started this jobs a few months ago, and slacking wasn't on your mind, although the tall, dark bearded man of a boss definitely posed as a distraction.
John slumped himself onto his office chair. The exhaustion of the last mission settling into his body only made him more glad that he had you now, the paper work left for him to do was minimal. He wasn't sure when his mind started to wander from the mission report over to you, or more specifically the moment when Laswell told him you'd be transferred to his team after another captain retired, the fact that he was on mission while you got started working for him didn't exactly sit right with him. But when he came back, all of his paper work done, and a young and innocent thing introduced herself to him sweetly, he realized he had no reason to worry. By now, the way you sweetly smiled at him, not noticing the hungry look in his eyes, always fueled something inside him. He wasn't sure when exactly his dick began twitching at the way you became all shy the second he praised you, not that he minded.
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You dreaded going into John's office, but you had to ask him about something regarding a few files. The fact that you were stressed and had to call a bunch of people didn't help. It wasn't even like he did something wrong, but more the fear of stumbling across your words in front of him was what kept you from getting up. You eventually left the comfort of your office paperwork in your hands, as you knocked on his door, the grumble he let out signaling you to come in. Regret washed over you almost immediately. The whole room smelled like him; pine, Bourbon, and cigars, it distracted you from forming coherrent thoughts. It took you a second to register that the Captain got up, he now stood near enough for your view to be blocked by his broad chest.
"R'you stressed?" The slight nod you gave him, not even looking him in the eyes, didn't satisfy him, he really wanted to be gentle, coax you out of your shyness, but his patience was gone, wasted in meetings, phone calls and training recruits.
"Want me to help you wind down, hm?"
The yes you gave him was enough of an answer. His hand dug itself into your neck while his tongue parted your lips, inviting himself into your mouth. Work was long forgotten, you the paperwork dropped somewhere on the ground the second his lips touched yours. Price chuckled at your hitching breath after his hand moved under your skirt, to move your panties aside before starting to push his fingers into your drenching hole.
"You have no idea for how long I wanted to do this, y're always so sweet to me. Gotta make sure you're getting rewarded for being such a good girl no?"
You didn't answer,you couldn't. Not when Price had his fingers buried inside you. The whines that left your mouth only spurred him on, his fingers pumping in and out of you harder, abusing your poor cunt. John had to restrain himself from fucking you, his dick pushing against his pants uncomfortably—not now when you were so pretty for him, gushing all over his fingers. He didn't stop, not even when you whined about wanting him to fill you properly, instead he used his thumb to stroke your swollen clit to send you over the edge. He kept moving his fingers through your orgasm, gently caressing your waist while you came undone.
The captain stopped you from unbuckling his belt.
"Honey, as much as I'd like to turn you around and fuck you, making the whole base hear you, I wanna take you out properly."
A/N: Guys im sorry it took so long to write anything this happened and lessons started again, anyway I am back.
Requests are open <333 love faith
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forgeofthenine · 10 months
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I was just thinking about requesting head canons about the bachelor's with a reader who speaks another language (and honestly, my personal headcanon is that elvish sound like gaeilge/Irish) and the Zevlor headcanon that was just posted convinced me to send it. So here it is. What do the boys think of a partner that speaks another, non common, language?
Hi Wisteria! I'm always happy to see another request from you :)
Personally I love hearing fantasy languages, Tolkien's elvish and it's portrayal in LOTR come to mind. That was definitely something on my mind while writing this, and even if I didn't specify I definitely wrote this with the idea of the reader speaking some form of elvish or celestial in mind. For anyone wondering, the Zevlor headcanon mentioned in the ask would be the 'accidental turn ons for the bachelors' <3
The bachelors with a partner that speaks another language
Dammon
So, I feel like all the tieflings have at least a basic understanding of infernal, Dammon included
He loves calling you by pet names and endearments in infernal
The day you do the same but in a non-common language is the day this man simply passes away from happiness
He completely paused the first time he hears it, before teasingly asking what else you're hiding from him
Dammon loves hearing you speaking another language casually, just like how he speaks bits and pieces of infernal
Over time he starts to pick up on translations of the things you say and will sometimes respond in infernal as a joke
Other people get very confused when they see you two speaking completely different languages to each other, especially if he explains neither of you actually know the other language
Dammon does it specifically to confuse people, sometimes he also says it's a special language for you two
He loves listening to you and could happily do it for hours
Zevlor
Not going to beat around the bush, Zevlor is extremely turned on every time he hears you speak another language
It just fuels something in him, he doesn't even really know the specifics, just that he finds it incredibly attractive
You can tell his full undivided attention is on you every time you're speaking something other than common
If you really want to tease him, lean in behind him and murmur something in his ear
His breath audibly hitches and his whole body does a system reboot right in front of you
Zevlor will absolutely encourage you to speak in another language around him, and picks up on translations quite easily
You'll even hear him saying the occasional word in the language too, the little smile he gives you afterwards is just too sweet
Over time he calms down a bit more, but hearing you never quite loses it's spark
It's always something Zevlor is going to be drawn to
Rolan
Rolan drops something the first time he hears you speaking a different language, it's probably a book that finds itself on the floor
I feel like he'd be pretty fluent in infernal, this man is incredibly smart and is always learning
He's shocked and intrigued when you speak a second language though
As much as he doesn't want to admit it at first, he'd love for you to teach him how to speak the language
In return he'd happily teach you infernal, and Rolans actually a very good teacher
In the end I can see him having some sort of schedule so you can both learn the new language
He insists on learning through exposure too, so common ends up becoming a rarely spoken language between you both
Cal and Lia have a ball of a time teasing you both, in return Rolan will talk to you only in a language they don't understand while around them
He really loves getting to hear you talk in another language, and hearing you teach it is even better
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inkblottzz · 11 days
Note
Not a traditional request, but I'm curious to see how your art is formed and what your process is. It's so cool that your art is similar to comyet's!! I always wondered what other people in their newer artstyle would look like but they only ever drew Ink. I guess now I have a chance :D
Drink water and i hope you have a good day!!!
this is a really interesting request!! thank you for asking, actually! i like questions like these :-D
i'll start by explaining my personal art process—how i, 12-year-old me started out, and then explain how i got where i am with my art today! buckle up, because this will probably be a lengthy post :-)
The Progression of my Art
my first ever art posted online was at the beginning of 2020, when quarantine first hit. i had always had a knack for art; doodling in class, making OCs, etcetc. however, when i heard about undertale through a friend, that's when i really started to take things serious.
i did all the things kids do when they first find out about undertale—i watched countless comic dubs, animation memes, looked up fanart, etc. i first started my real art journey when i began making fanart for undertale and the AUs. this is why undertale is so special to me, and why i have loved it for so long! it has fueled my creativity for almost five years now.
this is the first fanart i ever had done. i posted it on amino sometime in may.
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i was SO so proud of this piece. i showed it to my friends & family, and then decided to show people online! this was my first big milestone as an artist.
as time went on, i improved more and more, creating countless UT AU artworks in my spare time. and it was all because of the people who were kind and supportive of my art! the UTAU amino will always hold a special place in my heart, because of the positive experience i had. the positive feedback i got is what drove me to really want to start improving my skills and become a better artist like the ones i looked up to 💛 this is why it's so important to be kind to beginners. even if their art isn't the best at first, you bet your asses it'll be in the next few years!!
SO! i drew and improved, really just trying to find my own style that i liked. i had always loved ink sans, and that prompted me to look into his creator's artwork around late 2022-early 2023. i followed her instagram, and at first, just admired her work from afar.
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then, i tried out replicating her style! this is the first piece i ever drew inspired by mye! i made this last fall, in 2023.
after that, i tried to find my own style some more, leaving the lineless style behind. but, in may of this year—2024—myebi decided to hold a DTIYs, and that's when i decided to replicate her style!
i know, i know, kinda defeats the whole "draw this in your own style" thing... but i had been wanting to try and replicate their style for quite some time, and i saw this as a perfect opportunity to try it out!
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this is myebi's OC, aheran, that i drew for the contest !! it isn't exactly like her style, obviously, since i didn't want it to be too similar and weird mye out. however, i did replicate the lineless style, the grain textures, and the shading style as best i could. i also played around with shape language.
this piece was SO fun to do, and i did end up earning an honorable mention!
this was also my first post on instagram. after this, i started to draw all my art in a style inspired off mye's!
How do I draw in Comyet/Myebi's style?
here is where i'll be answering your question: what does my process look like when I'm replicating myebi's style?
i'll try my best to break it down into seperate steps that i usually take!
1. References!
References, references, references! References are the most important thing you need when trying to replicate something specific. I am currently at a point in my style where I do not usually need references, but you bet I used them big time when I first began to replicate mye's style!
Personally, I believe her instagram (@mye_bi) is the best place to get recent refs of her style! It's the social they post most often on. For Undertale specific references, I gathered them from her Tumblr (@/comyet) because her insta doesn't have Undertale related art. You may have to scroll a bit, but you'll find it on her blog!
I also have some niche references from other online sources, but I had to dig quite a bit for them. You don't need to be that thorough lmao
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all art by myebi/comyet!
2. Sketching
After I gather references, I start with a sketch! Really, it's just taking a bunch of references and finding things you like/need to replicate in your piece. If there isn't a reference for something you are trying to draw, then the best you can do is guess! I have to make guesses on how Myebi would draw something all the time, because I draw a wide range of different characters. It's all about experimenting and doing your best!
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sketch by me, ink reference by @/comyet, error reference by @/loverofpiggies
3. Coloring over the sketch
After I finish the sketch, I go straight over it with all my base colors! I typically do everything on seperate layers, which procreate... hates. I use a lot of layers.
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And, to finish off, I really just add details! Lines, textures, shading, etc. I can't quite explain how I do it—I just go off Myebi's style!
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Finding the right brushes
I have spent a long time trying to find brushes that best replicate Myebi's style, and the one I linked below is the best I've been able to find! It's the pack I use right now.
I use Weak Pencil 3 for any lineart I do, I use Fine Pencil 2 for color blocking, and Weak Pencil 4 for the grainy textures/shading :-)
The pack does cost a bit of money, but unfortunately, I haven't been able to find a free brush pack that gets the job done quite the same!
and that's all there is to it! i hope this answers your question and gives you some insight on how i make my art :-D
DISCLAIMER: i am not attempting to be a "myebi 2.0" or anything like that. i simply really enjoy how their style looks, and i enjoy drawing in a similar style! i mean absolutely NO ill intent towards mye—she is my biggest inspiration, and i will always have the most amount of respect and admiration for them and her work. 💛
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saphronethaleph · 3 months
Text
Revolt
Finn swallowed.
“Are we ready?” he asked. “Are you sure this is going to work?”
Maz looked up from the assemblage of comm gear she’d patched together, one of her lenses retracting, then they all swayed slightly as the Falcon did a three-sixty spin.
“Careful with the old girl!” Lando shouted, from the dorsal turret.
Chewbacca shouted something back from the cockpit.
“It’ll be fine, so long as Chewie keeps the violent manoeuvring to a minimum!” Maz snapped.
The sound of rapid firing guns pulsed up the turret access ways, as both Lando and Rose fired out a cascade of laserbolts from their respective turrets at TIE fighters following them.
“Aaaaa!” C-3P0 yelped. “Mister Chewbacca, please don’t do things like that!”
Another roar in Shyriiwook sounded in reply.
“I know we’d be shot down if you didn’t, you don’t have to rub it in!”
“As for how long it’ll work…” Maz added, glancing at the code cylinders. “You’ve definitely got a minute. Maybe two. What do you think the chances are of three?”
R2 whistled.
“Three is possible,” Maz agreed. “But I think the biggest question is one I can’t answer, Finn. Are you ready?”
Finn took a deep breath.
Everyone was depending on him. The whole Resistance was out there, fighting to buy him time, as the defences of Exegol spat fire up at them and as dozens of TIE fighters tried to pin them down.
Poe and BB-8 were very specifically flying cover for the Falcon, but everyone was out there.
“Let’s do it,” he said, picking up the headset, and Maz flicked three switches.
“I don’t know what you think of me,” Finn began. “I don’t know who you know me as, but… I’m pretty sure you know who I am. You’ve heard me described as FN-2187. As a member of the Resistance. As a traitor. A stormtrooper. A sanitation worker… as a failure.”
He paused.
“Maybe that’s true,” he said. “Maybe all of it’s true. I don’t know. But there’s something more important than that – something I learned from a friend. From the first friend I ever made-”
One of the sublight engines crackled and died, then Rose shouted something and Chewbacca slewed the ship away from the rest of a volley of laserbolts. Only the first few hit home, straining the shields but not overwhelming them, then Lando called advice and R2 rolled over to do something to the fuel pump.
Finn didn’t hear any of it.
“Because I am not a slave,” he said. “I’m a person, and my name is Finn. And – and I’d never really realized that before. I was a stormtrooper, and stormtroopers have been the face of the Empire, of the First Order, for decades – but we’ve always been used! We’re taken to fight, trained from childhood, and that’s wrong, and we’re made to think it’s the only way things can be – that we don’t even deserve names, just numbers.”
The shaking of the Falcon made him nearly fall out of his chair, and Maz steadied him. “The only jobs of a stormtrooper are to scare people into obeying, and to kill, and to die! The people who make us don’t care about us, they don’t care about what we do, anyone who hesitates gets reconditioned and you’re not allowed to leave. We’re made as slaves, as they try to force us to be clones, even though the original clones wanted more than anything else to be individuals. To be people. And – and, ask yourself, what do you want? What would you do with your life?”
The words were pouring out of him now, and Finn didn’t know if they made any sense. If they’d do what he wanted, what he dearly and truly hoped.
“I’m not sorry I left, because I deserve more with my life than a code,” he said. “And so do you. I have a name, and so should you. I was just a little different and they wanted to destroy me, and they’d do the same to you. They didn’t care about me, and they don’t care about you…but they care about me now. They recognize me now. They know who I am, now. And everything they’ve built depends on your willingness to be content with nothing. With obedience. With slavery. With being replaceable and anonymous.”
Maz waved at him, and Finn saw that the displays were flashing in what looked a much more urgent way.
“Listen to me, brothers, sisters!” he pleaded. “You deserve to be more! I am a person, and my name is Finn – and you are people too. I want to know your names.”
The next hit sent the Falcon rolling through a complete spin like a top, throwing Finn out of his seat, and the mixed-up pile of comm equipment flew out of place. Some of the cables snapped, parts of it caught fire, and electrical arcs snapped out into the rest of the main room.
Some of the lights went out.
“What the hell was that?” Lando shouted.
“Torpedo!” Rose replied, from the ventral turret. “I nailed it just before it hit us!”
R2 rolled calmly into the room and doused the flaming equipment with his fire extinguisher, putting out the flames, and Finn patted out some of the ones on his clothes.
“Did it work?” he asked. “Maz – did it work?”
“I don’t know, Finn, but you did all you could,” she replied. “Quickly – to the cockpit. My boyfriend could do with another pair of hands!”
“Got it,” Finn decided.
It took him only a few seconds to reach the cockpit, and he used the time to swap out earpieces.
“Poe?” he asked. “How are we doing?”
“You certainly got their attention, Finn!” Poe replied. “Half the fleet is firing at you, specifically! Chewie’s a damn good pilot, I’ll tell you that much – so far he’s dodged more than a dozen turbolaser shots! They’re using the main batteries on you, too!”
“Great, really good to know that’s happening,” Finn said, wincing. “What happens if one of them hits us?”
“Well, good news is, you’ll probably never realize it,” Poe said, then his X-wing rolled past the Falcon and did a weird kind of inverted flip before firing behind them. “That’s two more down!”
“What do you need me to do, Chewie?” Finn asked.
Chewbacca waved over at one of the banks of switches with a mumble, and Finn saw that the whole power system was straining badly to keep up with the demands being placed on it by everything that was going on.
He diverted some power from the front screens, sharing it out to everything else that needed attention, then one of the Star Destroyers closest to the superlaser refit facility blew up.
“Whoa!” he said. “What was that?”
“Don’t know, Finn!” Poe called. “I don’t think we did that!”
“Boys, listen to this!” Maz instructed, then their commlinks crackled.
“-destruction of the Forceful was a warning!” an Imperial officer said, in harsh tones. “Any attempt by Stormtroopers to launch a mutiny will be met with overwhelming force! This is your only warning!”
“That’s the First Order Allegiant General,” Maz told them.
“Well, if this doesn’t work, we can ram the Falcon down his throat!” Rose suggested. “What ship’s he on?”
A moment later, one of the other First Order Star Destroyers opened fire.
On a fellow Star Destroyer.
“This is KL-1138!” a man’s voice called out, over the same frequency. “I am a person, and my name is Kyle! Everything Finn has said is right!”
“I am Brell!” another voice declared, this time a woman. “Starting now, I am not a slave!”
The comm frequencies began to dissolve into overlapping shouts, and Finn felt like slumping over backwards.
They’d done it. Somehow-
No.
It wasn’t a mystery. It wasn’t an unknown.
It wasn’t even something he’d done, mostly.
He’d just reminded them all. They were people.
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kirabasai · 8 days
Text
modern tobiizu au where izuna and tobirama are rival e-sport players. they take the competition the most seriously out of the entire league. they are a pr nightmare and definition of toxic competition because they constantly go on twitter and shit on the other. they deliberately fuel fanwars. people call them the physical embodiment of league of legends despite the fact they don't even play league of legends (leaving what game they play ambiguous).
tobirama invents new ways of playing the game and abuses bugs in competions until abusing bugs gets banned because it reached a point where he was discovering exploits faster than the devs could patch them. izuna shits on tobirama for a full twitch stream saying how tobirama needed those bugs to even match him, and he says he hates how he ended up adding a new rule to the league because of how he played. izuna doesn't even play the same as tobirama, its just the principle of the fact he got a whole new rule made.
izuna is really intuitive, he's fast at figuring out new strats and mechanics and enjoys mimicing other ppl's playstyles as a form of psychological warfare. his reaction speed is very fast; "oh, you're ambushing me? lol get rektd." he goes through mouses like his monster energy cans because he just keeps breaking them (they can't handle the stress of his intense playstyle). if he had a mouse that was actually well made, he probably would not have this problem. however, those mouses just don't feel the same as the super specific, dirt cheap $15 mouse he got down at konoha-mart (or so he insists). he has a closet filled with boxes of this mouse for when he inevitably breaks it again.
one of tobiizu's pr nightmares happened like this:
at one point izuna figured out rpf fanfiction existed so he encouraged his fans to write really bad fanfiction of tobirama. why? he wanted to send it to tobirama so he could witness tobirama snap/explode/have a conniption. psychological warfare. this wasn't too bad, actually.
until tobirama publicly tweeted a link to a 100k word slowburn fanfiction he wrote detailing a forbidden love affair between uchiha izuna, professional esport player, and uchiha madara, the retired esport player who is his team's manager and his BROTHER. izuna livestreamed himself screaming for 30 minutes straight. he cried off camera. pr for both teams scrambled as they had to clarify, no this work is not real (because some people are dumb). madara has to announce his engagement for ppl to stop thinking he and his brother r like that. he's not engaged, but the internet scrambling to figure out who his (nonexistent) fiance is makes tobirama's fanfiction fall out of focus so it works out. originally the pr team wanted izuna to come out as straight but he flat out refused because "if everyone thinks i'm straight i'm doomed to not ever have a boyfriend" (he is bi and very dramatic.) he also gets back at tobirama for this eventually with the Hacked Reddit Incident (in which he hacked tobirama's reddit acct and posted various (nonexistent) issues on various subreddits, including AITA. everyone figured out very quickly it wasn't tobirama but that didn't matter to tobi because not only was his pride wounded, those posts will forever be associated with him [because things can still circulate around the internet even after the original post is deleted])
so yeah. i think you can imagine how the fandom space is if tobiizu r pulling stunts like that off extremely frequently. (chaos. its pure chaos.) somebody is probably crying in a corner, somewhere.
at one point somebody likens tobiizu's dynamic to a boy pulling on his crush's pigtails at a playground, except for them it goes both ways and is far more extreme. this spirals into the fandoms splitting into four factions: "omg they're so in love they're adorable like little kittens", "are y'all fucking CRAZY", "im just chilling here can we pls go back to normal", and unaware. tobiizu find out very quickly, and for once don't know what to do. the pr teams are just glad its nothing negative, for once.
(tobiizu are screaming in e/o's dms like this is YOUR fault. no its YOUR fault. they dont realize it but they're acting exactly like how the person who sparked it all said.)
(they'll get there. eventually.)
(somewhere, somebody is wondering "how can two people so smart be so DUMB.")
(finished this post after over a month bcause my pookie @oh-no-its-bird asked me to here u go bestie it's finally here <3)
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tmntfixationxreader · 7 months
Text
"I just read your Donnie fic and I am in LOVE with the way you write. Sometimes I feel like fics don't really show the emotions of the turtles beyond being shy around reader and I appreciate fluff where the characters actually interact and have a meaningful moment without it having to be sexual. So let me just say your writing feeds my soul. I love it.
That being said can I request a Raph x fem reader crack oneshot?
Reader was a friend of April and April decided that it would be good to introduce the turtles and reader. Little did she know that reader had a thing for big buff dudes, to the point that she goes from generally outgoing to extremely shy within seconds. So when she meets Raph she gets quiet, avoids eye contact, and fidgets frequently. Raph calks it up first time nervousness because he knows that he can be a bit intimidating. Reader eventually starts hanging around the turtles more often and gets closer with Donnie, Leo, and Mikey but is still shy around Raph and it ends up hurting his feelings. He feels like he's too scary and starts avoiding reader. Obviously this is the opposite of what the reader wanted, especially after getting to know him a little bit better and liking him even more.
Bonus points if the reader is taller than most her peers and a bit stronger to so she is often viewed as not feminine. So in order to seem more feminine she wears baggy clothing and curls in on herself to feel small. Happy ending please🙇‍♀️
Sorry if this is too long or too specific 😫 I just really like the way you write and I feel like I can trust you with an idea that is so dear to my heart!!!
Make sure to rest and drink some water.❤️"
♡All requests are anonymous, so here is the copy and pasted ask♡
Thank you so so much for the kind words!! I really appreciate and it fuels me to keep writing <3 Also, I did drink some water.
Here is your request! I hope It is how you wanted it :)
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♡You don't scare me♡Raph x Fem!Reader♡
~When you get nervous around Raph, he’s worried you are scared of him~
Word count: 3,237 (longest one-shot so far)
Warnings: Fluff, Fem reader, strong/tall reader, reader attracted to strong guys, squishmallows.
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When Apri skipped up to you, bag over her shoulder with more than a few pencils falling out the back end, you knew immediately she had planned something. 
She was panting, and smiled excitedly at you. “Y/n! Guess what?”
You smile at her, stopping and helping her pick up the pencils that had just fallen out. “What?”
“So you know those friends I told you about?? The ones that don’t go to school here?” She said, grabbing the pencils with you and shoving them messily back into her bag.
“Yeah! That's the brothers right?” You say, standing back upright after you had collected the last of the pencils.
You were easily a head taller than April, had broader shoulders, and had some pretty good muscles on you. From April being small and lesser on the muscle scale, and you being tall and muscular, the comparison made many people do a double take. It just heightened the differences you two had. You two didn’t care though, you liked yourselves just as you two were. And if there were days when you would doubt it, then April was always, always here to prove just how great you were. Just like you were always there for her.
She nodded excitedly. “Yes! Mikey, Leo, Donnie-”
“And Raph,” You finished, grinning, and April nodded happily. “You talk about them a lot.”
She laughed, and you two began walking. “Yeah, I guess I do… Anyways, I had a chat with them and they invited me to bring you to their- er- house!”
Your face lit up with excitement. April had talked about these guys for years. It was about time your finally meet them
“Heck yeah! When can we go?” You ask, putting one hand into your baggy hoodie pocket. You always wore baggy clothes. 
April smiled, pushing her red glasses back up into place on her nose. “After school! If you're not busy.”
You shook your head. “Nope! I’m not busy, I would love to meet them.”
April grinned. “Perfect! I’ll let ‘em know, and we can go after school!”
April found you immediately after school, which wasn’t hard. You two usually walked home together on most days anyways.
What you weren’t expecting was how far away their house was.
It seemed like you two were just walking until the crowd of kids faded away, which turned out to be the idea.
When April turned and went into an alleyway, you got really confused.
“An… Alley?” You said, raising an eyebrow and following her anyways. You trusted April, and knew she wasn’t going to lead you anywhere dangerous. 
April nodded her head side to side. “Well… Yes.. I mean, they aren’t living in the alley…”
She walked over to the sewer gate and lifted the lid. You stared at the sewer entrance.
You raised an eyebrow, and put a hand on your hip.“Ok, you’ve got to be kidding me.”
You trusted April. She had been your best friend for a long time. You two had done a lot of crazy things when you were little; from pulling amazing parkour stunts on the couches to playing Floor is Lava. You two did it all. Now that you two were older, you had broadened the area of things you two could do; the mall, movies, drawing,  unfortunately homework, and you still were the all-time champion of floor is lava.
Even after everything, how April managed to convince you to go into the sewers, you still didn’t know.
That didn’t matter now, you were walking in a sewer tunnel next to April, narrowly dodging some unmentionable things you avoided looking at.
But in all honesty, it wasn’t that bad. It was at first, but the further and closer you got the cleaner it was. Soon the smell went away entirely, and the tunnel was empty and clean. The smell was so gone, that you actually started smelling… Pizza?
The sheer thought of smelling pizza in a sewer tunnel attempted to trigger your gag reflex.
“April… is that pizza?” You ask, feeling nauseated and looking at her like this whole thing was crazy. You were open minded, but this was getting crazy.
April smiled and nodded. “Heh, yeah, the boys like pizza… Mikey is probably cooking some.”
“Ok… So how close… are… we?”  You trail off as you turn a corner, seeing an entrance to what you could only assume was the brothers house. It looked really nice on the inside, from what you could see. Pizza boxes, skate ramps- like the whole place was a skate park on the inside. And that was only what you could see.
April stepped inside. 
"She’s here!” She called into the layer.
“Ok!” A light-toned male voice called back. “Tell us when you're ready!”
April turned back to face you.
You glanced around to see the lack of brothers. “Are… They hiding?”
April nodded nervously. “There’s a couple of things I need to explain first…”
You raised an eyebrow and fidgeted with your hoodie drawstrings. It wasn’t out of nervousness, you were excited.
“Ok… What is it?” You ask. 
April nodded her head side to side. “So… Before you meet them, you need an open mind.”
“April, you know me. I am a very open minded person- as long as they aren't walking crocodiles living in the sewers I'm fine.”
April blinked. “How does a turtle sound?”
You raised both eyebrows. “I like turtles… But what does that have to do with them?”
April smiled slightly. “Mikey, why don’t you come on out!” 
You got slightly excited; you had heard so much about the brothers already, and knew that Mikey was the artistic younger brother.
Mikey slowly side-stepped out from around the corner, a large smile on his face. 
He was… Green? With an orange mask and a… Turtle shell??
Your jaw dropped and you blinked. You were frozen like that for a while. 
Mikey turned kind of shy, giving a small wave.
You waved back, and finally took a breath. “M… Mikey?”
His face lit up into a smile. “Yep! I’m Mikey!!”
You smile a little. “Wow! You're a… Turtle!!”
Mikey smiled back. “Yep! A mutant turtle teenager!”
You smiled back happily, taking a step towards him, and walking around him. You were a head taller than he was. You looked down at his shell, his green skin, and the yellow spots on his shoulders.
“Wow!” You exclaimed, looking back at April, who smiled. “Wait- are your brothers turtles too??”
Mikey nodded. “Yep! Would you like to meet them?”
You nodded, smiling, eyes wide with shock and excitement.
“Leo! Donnie! Come on out!” Mikey called. 
A turtle in a blue mask came out around the corner. The first thing you noticed was that he was a different color green, and he had red crescents around his eyes. He was as tall as you were, close enough that you could probably only tell who was taller by standing side by side.
He waved his hand.
“What’s up Y/n! I’m Leon!” He said in his show-offey-tone. 
You waved back. “Hi Leon!” You said happily.
A turtle in purple came out next. You noticed he had a head wrap instead of a bandana, and he had a pair of goggles mounted on his head. His shell looked different too, like it was metal. And you more than quickly realize it was.
“My name is Donnie, Donatello, and to my loving brother here, Donald,” He said with a sarcastic monotone voice.
You smile, watching Leo lean an arm on Donnie’s shoulder. You give Donnie a wave too.
“Wait, isn’t there one more brother?... Raph right?” You ask the brothers. 
Mikey nods. “Yes in deedy! But there is something you should know first… Raph is a little… Bigger than the rest of us. He wanted me to tell you that first before you met him.”
You shrug. “I am bigger than most people my age, too.”
Mikey smiles. “He may look big and scary, but he really is the sweetest guy…”
You smile and nod, looking around the corner to where the other brothers came out from. 
“Raph? You can come out,” You say.
Then, a turtle who was two heads taller than Leo, and at least twice his size, came out around the corner. He was strong, his arms and legs loaded with muscle, and he had spikes protruding from the top and back of his plastron and back of his shell. 
One small tooth poked out from the right side of his mouth, and he smiled nervously when he spoke, clearly shy.
“Hi… I’m Raph...”
You smiled, and gave him a nervous wave. For someone who was generally outgoing, you suddenly became very shy. You didn’t know exactly why.
Raph smiled, and looked towards Mikey with a smile. For him, it was just a win that you didn’t run away.
“H-hi Raph… I’m Y/n,” You say, smiling up at him but, then looking away back at the other brothers as you felt it growing harder and harder to keep eye contact.
Raph beamed, and nodded happily. “Nice to meet you!”
The brothers and April smiled.
The pizza timer dingged, and everyone looked towards the doorway to the kitchen. 
“Time to eat! Y/n, how do you feel about pizza?” Mikey asked, rocking on his heels excitedly.
You grinned at him. “I love pizza!”
It had been about a month since then, and you and April would hang out with the turtles everyday after school.
You and the turtles had gotten closer, you would play games with Leo and Donnie, and make art with Mikey. You really wanted to train or hang out with Raph, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Something about him was just so… You didn’t want to explain it. But whatever it was, it was making you nervous. You would fidget, avoid eye contact with him, and get much, much quieter. You just couldn’t get yourself to stop being so shy around him, even though you really wanted to hang out with him. 
April and the other brothers didn’t seem to notice, and if Raph noticed. He had avoided you multiple times before. He knew he was big, scary and intimidating, and he thought you just hadn’t gotten used to him yet.
“Hey guys! How about we play a board game?” Mikey called out to the others from where he was playing his video game with you. You had gotten pretty good at that fighting game, and Mikey was getting a little playfully worried that you would beat him soon. That was his high score on the line after all.
You grinned. “Perfect!”
“That sounds great!” April said excitedly, then got up from her spot next to Leo. The two of them had been watching a cartoon on his phone. “I’ll go get one!”
Raph came excitedly into the room, ushering Donnie in as well. Donnie didn’t seem all that pleased about the idea, but perhaps that was just the aloof-bad-boy persona he was trying to perfect.
Everyone gathered around the table, standing over it as April brought in the game, she had chosen Sorry.
You were bubbling with excitement as everyone gathered around… Until Raph took his spot across from you, smiling that adorable smile that had been playing on loop in your head for the past few weeks.
Your heart (for reasons you didn’t want to sort out-) started to flutter again. You took a firm hold of your hoodie drawstrings, seeming to shrink a little. Your smile was still genuine, but it seemed lesser, like you were suddenly self conscious and shy.
The others didn’t notice as they were setting up the game, but Raph did. He always did. He always noticed that you got nervous around him. He really did think you were just shy around him at first, but you had known him for weeks and you still were like this… 
Raph’s smile seemed to fade a little too. 
Just as they were handing him his game token, he put his hands up and took a step backwards. 
“Sorry guys, Raph just forgot that he was supposed to help Dad clean up the living room…” Raph said, speaking in the third person again. Normally you thought that it was adorable when he did that, but something about the way that he was speaking seemed off.
Mikey raised an eyebrow. “You can do it after, I’m sure Dad wouldn't mind if-”
“No, no, Mikey, I told him I would… You guys go ahead and play. Raph’ll catch up with you later…” He said, and walked off towards the living room where his dad was always watching his commercials.
The brothers exchanged glances, and April got up to go after him, when you stopped her. 
“I’ll go get him. You guys go ahead and start, Raph and I will join in the next round,” You say, and follow where Raph had left.
Raph wasn’t in Splinter's room.
You checked the dojo, and the skate ramp before finally finding him in his room.
You heard moving from within his room, but his curtain was pulled covering the door so you didn’t let yourself in. Instead you knocked on the doorframe.
“R-Raph? Are you coming?” You asked.
“Uh- Y/n… Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute…” Raph said. You stood quietly for a moment.
“Can I come in?” You asked.
“Yeah… Sure,” He said. 
You stepped through the curtain into his room. He was sitting on his bed, the mattress bowing beneath his weight. 
His room was nice, a few posters, some weapons hung up, and a few scratches on the walls from his spikes. It was pretty clean, surprisingly.
The one defining feature was the squishmallow on his bed, each neatly in place. That made you smile. 
He watched you expressionless for a moment.
You watched him. 
“Can I sit down…?” You asked quietly. He nodded.
You sat down next to him. It was weird being smaller than someone, you were normally much taller than the rest of your peers, so sitting next to someone so much bigger than you was almost a relief. You more than often hunched over to make yourself feel smaller, but next to Raph you felt like you didn’t have to do that. It makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Raph watched you for a moment. “Why did you come to get me?”
You shrug, playing with your hoodie drawstrings again. “The others got worried when you left, so I volunteered to come and get you.”
Raph nods a little. “But… Why?”
You shrug again, seeming nervous. “I wanted you to come and play.”
Raph looked slightly surprised, shifting so he was facing you. “But… You don’t like Raph. I make you scared… Why would you want me there?”
You look extremely confused. “What? Scared? You don’t make me scared, Raph.”
Raph shook his head, his voice quiet. “But I do… I'm big… I’m scary… I make you scared..”
You looked at him like he was crazy. “What? Why would I be scared of you! You're one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met!”
He blushes a little at the compliment. “But… You're always fidgeting when you're around me… You get quiet. You don’t like hanging out with Raph.”
You shake your head, reaching up and putting a hand on his shoulder. 
“I love to hang out with you, Raph… Actually it’s been making me a little disappointed that you keep avoiding me.”
Raph nodded. “Sorry… Raph just thought you would like it better if I stayed away…” His eyes dropped down to the mattress.
You shook your head. “Raph, why would you think that? You don’t make me scared, or intimidated at all…” 
“Y/n, I’m a giant mutant snapping turtle. You do get nervous around me. You don’t have to be sorry for that, I get it,” He said, attempting to give you a fake smile, but you saw right through it.
“Raph… I do get nervous around you, but it’s not because I think you're scary. Promise… But I get where you're coming from… Actually, you're a lot like me. I’m so much bigger than everyone else my age, and I'm not trying to brag, but I'm pretty strong in comparison to them, too. I’ve had a lot of people avoid me before.”
Raph looks at you, waiting for you to continue. When you don’t, he speaks.
“So… If you're not scared… Then why are you so nervous?” He asks. You put your hands in your lap and fidget a little again.
“W-well… See… I…” You stutter.
Raph looks confused. 
You sigh, taking a deep breath.
“Well, I… I kind of have a thing for big strong guys…” You mutter.
Raph blinks, and blushes without his expression changing. 
His eyes widened. “Oh- so you're not scared of me- you… you just have a thing for big strong guys?”
You nod a little, feeling your own cheeks burn.
Raph’s eyes widen even more. “Wait- I’m a big strong guy!”
You chuckle, and nod. 
His jaw drops momentarily and he blushes. “Ohhhh- so you think i’m-” He puts a finger to his chest and waits for you to speak.
You nod again. “Y-yeah…”
His face lights up into a bright smile. “S-so you think I’m… Attractive?”
“Yeah… Very…” You say, feeling your cheeks burn. You are smiling a little, but taking out all of your nerves on your hoodie drawstrings.
Raph grins and he blushes. “So you're not scared of me?”
You shake your head, smiling.
Raph nods, grinning. He blushes a little more. “Y/n… Can I tell you something?”
You nod, still blushing. “Of course…”
“Well… I kind of have a thing for strong girls…” He smiled, face as red as his mask.
You blush, looking down at the mattress with a grin.
“So… You…” You say and wait for him to answer.
He nods. “You probably don’t realize it… But you're really cute, Y/n…” He blushes a lot.
You smile, blushing and feeling awkward. “T-Thanks…”
You two sit in the silence for a moment.
“So… You probably think that someone as big and strong as I am is weird for collecting squishmallows then…” Raph said, feeling slightly embarrassed.
You immediately shake your head. “Nope! I’ve got a few at home too.”
Raph’s eyes lit up. “Really! What ones? What are their names?”
You grin. “I’ve got Abby the octopus, Caddie the cat, and Darex the dinosaur!”
Raph grinned. “Cool! I have quite a few… I can show you if you want!”
You nod excitedly, and Raph shifted so he could show you his collection better…
For the next half hour, you and Raph talk about both of your squishmallows, and the conversation slowly shifts from your favorite tv shows, to your favorite foods, and your favorite music.
You and Raph learned a lot more about each other, and you two grew much, much closer.
Eventually April comes up to say the second round is starting, and you two play the game with the others. 
And this time, when Raph stands across the counter from you and smiles that adorable smile of his, you smile back. 
And if you get nervous, he knows it’s not about his appearance or that you think he’s scary… 
…It’s because you like him…
…And he might just like you back…
*****************************************************************
Hope you like it! Thank you very much for the request! <3
This one ended up being longer, my brain took the story and ran with it lol
I am currently working on 4 other requests, and I will write them in the order I received them :)
Master post
Bye bye Butterflies!!
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vasito-de-leche · 5 months
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I was wondering... I've been reading the self-aware au and I wonder if Manus Vindictae is also aware of the player— How does Forget Me Not even react to the concept of the player too if he's ever self-aware of it? A human who calls the shots on the story progressing (clearing levels) and also the one who beats his ass in battle (i had to insight 2 level 20 my arcanists to beat him under 10 turns in hard mode)
Can he hear the player? Can he see them? (I tend to gush over him whenever he speaks, I repeat the scenes he's in 😭 i miss him sm in the story) sorry for all these questions!!! Im so curious of self-aware aus and how they work and yours particularly was REALLY good
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;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - Self Aware AU
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Headcanons about Forget Me Not within the Self Aware AU.
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this is a very good opportunity to think about non-playable characters within the game, actually! ty for the ask o7
there was someone who commented on one of my self-aware posts saying it was kind of like analog horror and I agree lolol
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I vaguely remember mentioning that the requirements needed in order to be aware of the Player's existence were to either reach a 100% bond and/or to be exposed to Vertin's constant presence.
Forget Me Not, as an NPC with little to no actual relevant weight in the grand scheme of things (he is only relevant during the 1929 arc as of now) doesn't meet any of these requirements, so I don't think he'd be aware of the player!
His self-awareness is limited to knowing the world around him is fake, which fuels his self-deprecating and self-defeating, deranged, depressing mindset. I like to imagine Forget Me Not doesn't even understand that the world he lives in is a game, he just knows it's fake and that no matter what he does or says, no one will truly remember. Things will inexplicably reset or loop, and even so, he's not aware of the many times he's been forced to battle Vertin and the others because the Player had to grind specific materials. And so on and so forth. In his eyes, the "high power" that could attempt to control this empty world would be Arcana and no one else--after all, she's the one who opened his eyes to the truth through indoctrination.
When it comes to the figure of the Player, I wanted to portray an extremely obscure and detached figure. Vertin herself can't even fully wrap her head around the Player's existence, she doesn't even know if you're human--if the protagonist, the character "closest" to the Player is still left in the dark about these aspects, imagine how it is for other characters who don't have the privilege of acting your will, of being your hands and eyes. Sonetto can't even get a proper look at the Player, she still needs an insane amount of time lingering around Vertin to become more attuned to this somewhat eldritch entity tied to her. Characters of "equal" importance to Vertin, such as Arcana, may be able to perceive the Player in their own unique ways just like her, but everyone else? They need these special cases to even notice such a presence. Vertin is your only link to this world. You're the one looking in, this is a one-way mirror and only a very select few can look into the abyss and realize that something -someone else- is out there, staring back.
Like, of course I'll make exceptions or bend the rules if people request direct interactions between a character and the Player, but if we're talking about the setting as it is, then this is how I picture it.
Can he hear or see the Player? Nope. He doesn't have the means to. He doesn't even know they exist.
Forget Me Not feels superior with his self-awareness, gloating about how he's not like the common rubble who goes on about their day, entirely blind to the horrors. And yet, he's not aware of his limited perception of the world. It's very ironic, the way he looks down on others for the very same crime he's guilty of: obliviousness. Forget Me Not believes everyone outside of Manus Vindictae is too dumb, too unworthy of the freedom that comes with self-awareness. But really, this is just the blind leading the blind at the end of the day. Within Manus Vindictae, we only have Arcana and Forget Me Not as important characters, so it's hard for me to make a proper frame of reference, but overall I think that only Arcana is fully self-aware. Everyone else's perception of reality are equal or slightly inferior to Forget Me Not.
I think this falls in line with his modus operandi, so to speak! The way he believes he truly understands how things are, while turning his back on reality at the same time because he can't take it. He's too delusional, too unstable and frail to acknowledge that he may not be right, that he may be just as lost as when he first opened his eyes, that Vertin, someone so utterly disconnected from his ideals and morals and views, is the "chosen one."
As usual, Forget Me Not prefers to live a lie an double down on his usual habits than realize he always had the chance to change for the better and he just never had the courage to take that road.
How would he react upon finding out the Player's existence and their opinion on him?
I don't know the specifics around how exactly he finds out this piece of information, but either way, Forget Me Not would probably be shaken to his core! This isn't an easy pill to swallow in the slightest. You have to understand that every single time you beat him in battle, he 100% believed it was all Vertin's prowess.
How was he supposed to know she had someone guiding her? How was any of this fair?
Essentially, Forget Me Not has to confront the fact that all of his struggles, all the constant fighting and every conscious choice he's made to further ruin his life, were predetermined, already set in stone by forces beyond his comprehension. It's both freeing and claustrophobic, especially for a character like him who revels in misery and his status as an underdog earning his vengeance. He's done so much, he's worked so hard to get to where he is, and sure, his life is far from ideal, he's still the same self-destructive man, but now you're telling him that this was what the world planned from the very beginning? He had no say in anything? Someone out there decided that he was meant to be like this, and even after gaining self-awareness, he wasn't good or strong enough to break away from the script--in fact, he played right into someone else's trap.
I feel like Forget Me Not, at this point, would continue to do the only thing he knows: he doubles down. He redirects all of his hatred and all of his feelings towards the figure of the Player, if only to justify his existence--he can't live as a free man, he can't be seen as a living being worthy of respect because the plot commands it, he doesn't know where his own conscience begins and where the script and dialogue he's meant to say ends. So he might as well keep digging his own grave.
He loathes the Player more than anything else, because if there was no one to play this game, none of this would've happened in the first place. He fully blames you for every single thing, no matter how big or small. Everything that is wrong with his life can be traced to the person booting up this goddamn game every single day.
And if he learns that you replay each cutscene that he's in, he takes that as an offense.
This is just cruel mockery to Forget Me Not--not only you're the reason he's turned into such a miserable excuse of a man, but now you've turned him into your personal little jester, to sing and dance for your entertainment.
If he finds out that you hate him? That's good, it's a mutual feeling and it makes this tantrum he's throwing much more easier to deal with. But if he finds out that he's your favorite character? It kills him from the inside. How dare you?
His voice gets sharper, more visceral--every word is drenched with such profound hatred that you, from your side of the screen, can't help but think that Forget Me Not's voice actor is doing such a great job! And the artstyle is so good, his expressions look so real!
I can also see Forget Me Not eventually struggle with the fact that the Player loves him and sees him as their favorite character. It's not as easy and straightforward as hating you anymore--he doesn't even know you. He doesn't even know what to trust anymore.
Given how depressing he can be, I think he may latch onto the Player? The rug keeps being pulled from under his feet each and every time, but your existence, as awful and mysterious and controversial as it may be, is real. You're real. I have a lot of thoughts about this specific dynamic, but I'll leave them for another post so this one doesn't end up being suuuper long lol
On the subject of finding out that the Player is a human.
This one is easy! If someone were to tell Forget Me Not that the Player, the bane of his existence, is a human, then he'll just be in denial about it!
I really just like the idea of Forget Me Not having no means whatsoever to interact with the Player, it makes things so much more frustrating for him. Of course this means that everything he does know come from third-parties. And this piece of information is an extra layer of stress that he can't physically process at the same time as everything else in regards to his self-awareness, so he chooses to ignore it. To debate it. To simply deny it.
What, is he just supposed to believe everything he's told about you now? He can't even perceive you properly, let alone understand the sort of creature you are and your influence on this world--for all he knows, the people claiming to see and talk to you are all liars! All of his informants and spies could just be dead wrong, they may have misheard something on the way!
You can't be human, because he can't take another blow to his pride like this. It's humiliating enough to be played like a fiddle in such a way, Forget Me Not doesn't even want to think about the possibility of this small, fake world being at the mercy of a human--part of the very same group that caused him so much pain over the years.
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