#knowing people gossip about you but don't care enough to talk *TO* you fucking sucks

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

nobody. is entitled. to any information. about anybody else's life.

it doesn't matter if they were your child/grandchild, sibling, cousin, best friend, casual acquaintance, whatever.

if somebody wants to keep the information about their life private, they have that right.

and the one putting someone "in the middle" about it all? are the people asking for information, not the person asking for it to be withheld.

[iouinotes]

All for you | Carl Gallagher

pairing: Carl Gallagher x female!reader

show: Shameless

warnings: angst, fluff, smut (the reader and Carl are 18 years old in this ff)

summary: Carl is challenged that he can get your money, if he makes you fall in love with him. He loves the challenge until he loves something else more...

authors note: sorry for so many pov switched, I didnt notice it, when I first wrote this ff. Also I haven't had the chance to watch all the seasons yet, but I still hope that Carl's character is somewhat accurate :))

Carl's pov

"Frank, goddamit youre no help! Why are you even lying around here - oh forget it, I don't want to hear it." Fiona's voice echoes in the room, while the entire Gallagher household is present.

The everyday discussion has been going on for too many minutes in which I could have done something better. The damn question “How do we get enough money?”

Lip at college, Ian with his gangster boyfriend, my shitty sister with her kid and then Liam. This family is screwed. No wonder with a father like Frank.

As the argument continues to escalate, I have the misfortune of sitting right next to him.

"You care to share some money, son?" Of course, my attempts to ignore him are unsuccessful.

"The drug trade doesn't always work out so well, but the weapon thing was something. You could give one to your good old dad, you know what the neighborhood is like." I run my hands through my hair in frustration, shaking my head.

"Just get one or two girls pregnant at school, then all of our problems are solved. But she has to be rich. After all, you want to get your hard work paid." Why the hell am I still here?

"You used to be more enthusiastic about my ideas. If you don't want to do play daddy, then use your charm. When I was your age, my cock was enough and the girls were happy."

"Be fucking quiet, no one wants to hear about your pathetic youth." It's no use, he keeps talking.

"I'm only saying, If you make a rich girl fall in love with you, then you can get money to do something nice for your family."

As I get up and walk away from him I take a breath, the tension caused by this idiot sucks.

Still, his words got me thinking. Maybe there's a new girl who would be perfect for this job...

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

When I moved here, I wasn't sure what to expect. New school, maybe mean classmates and bad cafeteria food. That I might be able to join a group and make friends, people who laugh with me in class or go to the cinema together on weekends.

I was prepared to get lost in the hallways a few times, perhaps to be peppered with embarrassing questions by the teachers. I had even prepared myself for being called a nerd again and therefore spending my lunch breaks alone.

Then things turned out differently. I met two girls who, although they scared me at first with their need to gossip all the time, are good people at heart.

They studied with me (meaning they told me the newest gossip and braided my hair while I did our homework), showed me the city and its pitfalls. I felt comfortable, prepared and confident for what awaited me here.

Oh lord, was I wrong.

On a Thursday in the middle of the week I met a boy who messed everything up. Literally.

I met him when he was running through the halls twenty minutes late, but stupidly didn't pay attention to me, who was about to cross his path. Let's put it this way, it ended with my books on the floor, my jacket hanging off my shoulder, and his hair being a huge mess.

When he looked at me, I expected to hear something like "sorry" or "I'll help you."

You want to know what he said?

"Cute top. Let me know if you need help taking it off."

Then he got up casually and walked into the classroom across the hallway, a grin on his face as if he had won the Bachelor title.

After this encounter two things became very clear to me. 1. Look both ways when crossing the halls and 2. Stop daydreaming about this boy, even if he has beautiful blue eyes.

The first thing worked better than the second.

After a few descriptions, which actually only consisted of "incredibly impudent and incredibly good-looking", it was explained to me who I was dealing with.

Carl Gallagher. A boy who has lived here since he was born, someone who is rumoured to be more dangerous than the Italian Mafia.

Even though I thought that was exaggerated, I quickly realized that I should stay away from him and that he meant trouble.

Aside from the fact that I wasn't going to be in the situation of talking to him again anyway, my eyes couldn't stop themselves from looking at him.

There was something that defined him, something that made me want to watch a grin creep across his face when he made an inappropriate joke, how he would push his blonde hair back and his eyes would shine mischievously, as if he had already planned the next bank robbery.

I wasn't the only one who found his charisma attractive tho, of course not when he looked like one of God's angels, but he never really seemed interested in other girls. At least not with any serious intent, you might hear him flirting or making comments about his free bed, but you would never saw him in a relationship.

He never held hands or kissed anyone, had a real smile on his face or said sweet things, he was just Carl.

Suggestive, hot-tempered and like a flag that proclaimed: Stay away from me, because you will lose this fight.

I also felt that if I continued to watch him, I would lose the battle for platonic feelings towards him too.

"Please don't tell me you're looking at our school bad boy again. You better be careful, he might want to sell you a gun." Kenzie's voice makes me sigh.

"These are just rumors. Besides, it's not my fault, he's just -" Her hand on my shoulder interrupts me.

"We know, you have heart eyes every time you talk about him. There are so many great guys in this world, I'm not saying at this school, but you choose this one?" Her look says more than a thousand words as she looks over at Carl, who is pushing his way trough the crowd.

"I'm not in love, just curious. Those are two different things, okay?" Her eyebrows raise.

"You mean, curious how his lips would feel on yours?" Her laughter at my expression is lost in the sounds of the cafeteria.

"Very funny." I murmur to her, food forgotten on my plate. When the school bell rings, I stand up and pick up my backpack.

"My class is canceled now, but I'm going to the library. Will you meet me later?" As I walk backwards I see her thumbs up and the hearts she makes in Carl's direction. My reaction is two quick middle fingers.

As I walk out of the school building, I check my phone and tie my hair into a braid. The library is a few blocks away and the cool air makes me shiver.

When I get there and wave to the boy at the entrance, I turn to my favorite department. Call it cliche, but I love romance books. I mean, I don't know what it feels like to love someone with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I don't love reading about it.

The books I actually need are a few rows away. History, literature, everything I am assigned to get for school.

As I stroke over a few tapes and finally pull out a book to read the first few pages, I hear a noise next to me that makes me look up. After all, the library is usually a pretty quiet place.

As I look into the familiar blue eyes, I feel my cheeks turn red.

I have to stop myself from staring.

"Always a book in your hand, I see." Oh his voice hasn't changed. I try to shrug casually as I answer, but I'm not sure if it actually works.

"Aren't you going to be late for class again?" At my sarcasm he smiles, he takes a step in my direction which weakens my control over my voice.

"I thought I would learn something somewhere else too." These coded words make me swallow.

"So, you're here often?" I almost think he's not answering me, but maybe I'm just not concentrating, because I'm paying too much attention to every mole on his face.

"Actually, I didn't even know this shitty town had a library." His words make me laugh, but several requests to be quiet around us, make me whisper in response.

"Then why are you here?" I think my breathing stops as his hand brushes my fingers that are still holding the book.

"You're here." I feel my heart beating nervously faster, I probably look pretty confused and when I notice his grin, something flutters in my chest.

"No interest in books, huh?" Can my answer actually be any lamer?

"Dont worry, I have a newfound interest in you."

🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

If someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would become friends with Carl Gallagher, I would have found the idea absolutely crazy. To be honest, I still find the situation insane, but damn my cheeks still turn just as red when he's with me as they did the first time.

It turns out that he really has no interest in books, even though he visited me at the library almost every day since we met in the romance department.

I've never met anyone like him, funny and couragous without any reserve, always looking for trouble, acting self-confident. But also sweet.

He's like a current that pulls you along, like a wind that blows so hard that you fly with it. He feels like freedom and it is wonderful.

He makes me laugh, he carries my books, plays with my hair, walks home with me. In such a short time I feel like he didn't knock on the doors to my heart, instead he made a home there.

Maybe this is what it feels like to fall in love.

It's not a gentle announcement, more of a realization that makes you incredibly desperate and happy at the same time.

But with him I actually just feel happy.

"Ready, sunshine?" As soon as I come out of the classroom, he comes towards me and takes my bag from me. My heart jumps at his gesture, which feels like winning the Olympics.

"You're crazy, where do you even want to go?" He has something planned but won't tell me. When he puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him, I get a few sideways glances from our classmates.

Carl ignores everyone like always, it's crazy but the way he's so confident is pretty attractive to me.

"Does the guy in your cheesy books also tell you where they go on dates? I bet not, so just wait."

🔗🔗🔗🔗

"It feels like you're kidnapping me."

I feel his smile on my back and have to giggle quietly at his response.

"Mh, I plan to do that. But only for a few hours, otherwise my head will roll tomorrow. Your father takes your curfew pretty seriously."

I feel his hands on my hips, guiding me forward, hear the birds chirping around us, but can't figure out where we're going.

"Just a few more steps, baby. Then you'll see." As he promised, it is only a few meters away and when I see a small, calm lake, my mouth falls open in surprise.

"Carl, oh my God! It's wonderful here, thank you so much." I turn around in his grip and look at him, his smile reflects the love that I feel.

"Yeah? How much do you like it?" As his eyes focus on my lips, I feel a tingling feeling in my stomach. Slowly, my fingers stroke his chest and I see him swallow, even though he tries to hide it.

"I think it's incredibly beautiful here, I love it. And...I really like you." I shyly lower my gaze, my words are met with an unknown silence that makes me anxious after a few seconds. But when I look up at him again, he pushes a strand of my hair out of my face.

"To me, you are much more beautiful than this sight. I like you too and I thought that was pretty obvious." I smile broadly, butterflies fly around in my stomach and as the sun illuminates his face, I feel incredibly happy.

"You're so nice to me, I don't know how I deserve this." An expression crosses his face, but when I blink he smiles at me again.

"After all, you are the first person who explained the topics for the history exam to me, without giving up." My hand cups his cheek.

"I wouldn't give you up, you've become too important to me." As I stand on my tiptoes, our lips brush, his hand is on my back and pushes me closer to him.

"You are an angel." With his words we kiss and everything else around us blurs, only he remains. Everything is unimportant except him, standing in front of me, so handsome, that it is difficult not to look at him.

"Come on, let's go for a swim." As he pulls me towards the lake, you can hear our loud laughter in the air.

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Carl's pov

"When are you going to collect the money? You've been with her for the last three months and nothing has come of it." Frank's annoying voice frustrates me more than anything else.

"I am working on it. Besides, she's actually really caring." When I see the dismissive hand gesture in my direction, I roll my eyes.

"You are completely wrong, son. A person is there for a certain period of time, but money? Money accompanies you throughout your life, especially if you buy beautiful bottles of the best alcohol."

I sink into the sofa, but want to turn away when I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"If you put it off any longer, it will be harder to get out of the situation. Girls your age will start planning to get married, if you stay with them for months."

But when he leaves, I feel conflicted. Can I really do this to her?

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Carl's pov

"Happy birthday!" Her voice makes me jump and, confused, I turn around on the bench to look into her excited eyes.

"Why are you jumping around like that? Are you practicing for cheerleading?" I'm making fun of her, but the smile on her face doesn't fade.

"No, idiot. I'm just really curious to see how you react to your gift." My breath catches for a moment as I take in her words.

"You got me something?" When she leans forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek while pressing the bag into my lap, I start to smile too.

"Open!" Her encouragement breaks me out of my trance and I quickly tear up the paper, looking at the tickets with wide eyes.

"But...these tickets cost a fortune? Did you sell your liver or something?" When I look at her, she smiles back at me.

"I talked to my dad and he agreed that you deserve something special for your birthday. Are you happy?" As I look at the cards, I suddenly feel a pang in my heart. It must be showing on my face, because her happiness is also fading away.

"Do you not like it? I thought it was your favorite team? I can get you something else." When I look at her, I quickly pull her between my legs and kiss her.

"Shh, breathe angel. It's perfect, thank you. And well, your father. It's just a lot of money." Her hands play with the fabric of my shirt.

"You always say that. Do you have problems at home, with money, I mean? I've never been to your place, I don't even know where you live." What should I say to her now?

"It's okay." Her raised eyebrows look at me reproachfully, making me sigh.

"Each of us has to contribute a certain amount of money every month and if I don't sell fucking drugs, it will be tight." Her astonished look makes me pause and I gently stroke her arms.

Before I can say anything else, she kisses me. I look at her in surprise.

"What's that for?" She smiles shyly, looks at the floor for a moment before looking at me again.

"You're just so honest, I admire that. And that you've never asked me for anything, you know. That I lend you some money."

Fuck. Shit. What do I say?

"Yeah, I mean, I don't want to burden you with that-" but she interrupts me again, her concentrated expression makes me curious.

"What's going on in your pretty head?" My hands wander over her sides.

"It's the end of the month, how much are you missing?" I frown in confusion, but when she doesn't let it go, I tell her the amount.

"$240, the rest I earned by helping in the neighborhood." But despite the high sum, she just nods, looks at me again and gives me another kiss.

"Okay, maybe I'll be your sugar mommy." I have to laugh at the absurdity, but the longer she grins at me, the more I think she means it.

"What, are you serious? Thats fucking crazy, how am I supposed to pay you back?" Her eyes look around, but since the classroom is relatively empty during recess, she finds herself between my legs again. She slowly lets her hand wander down my stomach until she squeezes my cock through my clothes and I close my eyes in delight.

"Hmm, maybe you could help me relax between classes." Her eyes sparkle mischievously and I look at her with a grin.

"Anything you want, sugar."

Let's put it this way, the next few weeks the breaks were filled with kissing in the back corner of the classroom, dry humping on the toilet or Carl doing his best to pleasure me with his tongue in the caretaker's room, like now.

"Ahh-, Carl. I'll cum if you keep that up." His head has disappeared under my skirt, his fingers are stroking the bare skin of my thigh and the sinful movements of his tongue are making me see stars.

As he adds a finger and runs it over my folds, slowly until he inserts it, he looks at me again.

"You coming for me? Yeah, be a good girl or do you want to get caught by the old janitor grandpa spreading your legs for me?" As my eyes roll back, he pumps another finger into me, scissoring it thoroughly and hitting that sweet spot inside me.

When I moan loudly, he grins.

"You like that? Just wait until I bury my cock in you and you cant walk straight afterwards, so that everyone will notice." When his finger presses my clitoris, I see white and as I come I try to muffle the sounds with my hand over my mouth.

When I get off my high, I blindly search for my panties. But Carl beats me first.

"Hmm, no. I think I'll keep it as a little souvenir. Maybe you can get it back when you come to my house later." I don't know what surprises me more: that he wants me to run around exposed at school or that I'm invited to his house for the first time.

"Really? I'd like to come." But he interprets my words differently, his fingers stroke my entrance again and I moan and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Very well and for a very long time." When the bell rings, he lets go of me and I whimper slightly.

"Carl-" but he interrupts me by pulling back and straightening my skirt.

"I'm sure our agreement was between recess, now it's class time. Come on, I'll make it up to you later."

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

As we ride the bus toward his home, I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.

"But don't expect a mansion or any of that shit." Ever since we left school, he has been bad-mouthing his hometown every free minute he has.

"Don't worry, I'll only have eyes for you anyway." The statement makes him laugh and he relaxes a little. As we get out and walk a little way along the street, we are watched by a few people.

"Why are so many people staring at us?" When he look at me, I'm obviously confused.

"Not everyone here wears designer clothes that cost several thousand dollars. If you come here more often, they'll call you a princess." Giggling, I slap him on the arm and as we climb the stairs to his house, I look around curiously.

"So this is where you grew up." His shoulders shrug casually, but I see him trying to gauge my reaction.

"Yeah, where in the world could it be nicer?" I laugh at his sarcastic comment and we both smile at each other as we enter the house.

I hear him calling into the house, then a girl with red hair appears, carrying a baby.

"You must be Debbie, the little one is so adorable." When I hold out my hand, she just looks at Carl with her eyebrows still raised.

"What did you do to end up with her? Also my daughter's name is Franny and yes, I know condoms exist." Surprised, I don't know exactly how to answer, so I leave it to Carl.

"My tongue is magic, Debs. Too bad you won't find out yourself anytime soon, Derek has moved away. By the way, Franny seems hungry." I'm unsure of the dynamic between the two of them, as she turns away and walks away, I resist the urge to say goodbye.

"That was...nice." His hand pulling me towards the stairs distracts me.

"She's a real ray of sunshine, come on. The others aren't back yet, so you can be as loud as you want this time."

When we get upstairs, he leads me into his room and I look at the magazines, posters and little things scattered everywhere.

"Cleaning and you are definitely not friends, huh?" I laugh at my joke, but Carl has other plans than letting me inspect his room.

He puts his hands on my hips and pushes me against the closed door, my breath catches as his eyes find mine.

"Do you want to keep playing housemaid? Then put on a damn maid costume, otherwise keep your eyes on me." At his stern voice, I press my thighs together and, grinning, I drag my fingers across his chest once again.

"Would you like that? Me on the floor, my ass in the air, and no underwear? Oh wait, what a coincidence that I'm not wearing any now either." His eyebrows raise, I see his eyes darken with lust.

"Let's save this little fantasy for another time, right now I just want to see you on my cock." Smiling, I lean towards him and start kissing him. I loosen the belt I bought him and pull him closer to me by his waistband.

"I think I did well today. After all, I didn't complain about getting through the school day without underwear. Do I get my reward now?" Grinning, he takes off my top and looks at my lace bra.

"Everything you want." He drops to his knees in front of me and kisses his way along my thighs, lifts my skirt and presses a kiss to my folds. Slowly he moves his tongue higher and kisses my stomach, I lean my head against the door.

"Does that feel good?" I just nod, burying my hand in his hair as he puts his mouth on me again.

"Ahh- Carl, I want you now." His fingers stretch me, the wetness running down my legs, making me tremble.

"You got me, sweetheart. What do you want me to do?" His head lifts to look at me and I place my fingers around his chin, seeing the moisture on his lips.

"I've been prepared enough, I want your dick now. Let's see if it's as magical as your tongue." Grinning, he stands up and lifts me up, lays me on my back on his bed and lies down between my legs.

He places a few kisses on my legs, then stretches up on his elbows so he's hovering over me. Then he kisses my cheek and my lips, lets his tongue slide over them and lets me taste myself.

I run my fingers through his blonde hair and pull his body closer to me. When he pulls a condom out of his pocket, I hold my breath.

"You still want to do this?" His look calms all the worries I had. I nod, stroking my fingers over his heated cheek.

"I trust you." His next kiss is passionate, his hands gliding over my body, caressing every bit of exposed skin. I lift my back off the mattress and let him take off my bra. His head lowers to run his tongue over my navel. As he sucks on them, I moan softly.

One of his hands starts kneading my breasts and when I try to take off my skirt, he stops me.

"Leave it on, okay?" I kiss him in response.

His hand strokes my sides and my own hands rest on his shoulders as he presses the tip of his cock against my entrance.

"Ready, baby?" When I agree, he presses himself into me and for a moment I have to squint my eyes because it hurts.

Then I feel several gentle kisses on my cheek, my forehead and my lips. His attempts to distract me work and as I become more and more relaxed, he slides further into me.

Slowly he presses his hips against me, the stretch so great that I can feel him all the way into my stomach. He waits for a moment, whispering sweet things in my ears until they get dirty and I beg him to move.

My hands wrap around his shoulders as he thrusts into me for the first time, the air around us thickening as he grunts and a moan escapes me.

"You're doing so well, God, you feel so good." His hips move faster and faster, the pleasure spreads through my body and the wetter I feel, the easier he slides in and out of me.

"You are perfect, my perfect girl. Do you feel good?" His hands stroke my skin, gently pinching my nipples, playing with them and making me squirm beneath him.

As he grips my hips and pushes himself harder into me, my head starts to spin. My noises get louder.

"Carl- god, please go harder" And so he does, the room is filled with the sounds of our bodies and sweat forms on us.

"Baby, do you want to ride me? You have such pretty thighs." I nod and when he pulls out of me I can't think clearly, I just want him to fill me up again.

He leans back and as I stabilize myself on his shoulders, I sink back onto him. The feeling is even better that my eyes roll back. His hands grasp my hips, helping me move.

"That's right, baby. You're doing so good, riding my cock like the good girl you are." At his words, I tighten my grip on him and he curses as I move harder on top of him.

The faster I go, the more exhausting it becomes, but as I feel a knot forming in my stomach, I ride him so fast just to chase my pleasure.

Then suddenly as he hits my spot inside me over and over again, I go boneless on him and melt in his arms. My come drips all over him and as he continues to fuck me, reaching his own climax, I tremble in his grip.

"Just a few more thrusts, baby. Ah, keep holding on to me." Even though I have lost my strength, I move on him a few more times until he comes and I lay my head on his shoulder.

We're both breathing heavily, but everything feels so good, so warm and comfortable, that I don't want to move a single muscle anymore.

He carefully pulls out of me, I moan slightly at the loss. He gently lays me back on his pillow and gives me a kiss before throwing the condom away.

He pulls the blanket over us and puts his arm around me to pull me closer. I snuggle up to him and feel so safe that I quickly press my lips to his skin.

"That was wonderful." He also presses a kiss on my hair.

"That was incredible, you are the best. I can't wait to do it again." Our embrace becomes tighter. For a moment the room is silent.

When I whisper his name, he hums in response.

"I know it's cliche to say something like that after the first time. But I just feel it so much that it hurts to keep it to myself. I love you." As I lie on his chest I hear his heart stop for a moment and then it starts beating much faster.

"I- no one has ever said that to me before." When I raise my head and look at him, he doesn't look at me. Instead, his eyes are fouced on the ceiling.

"I just want you to know. I don't want to put any pressure on you to say it. I just thought you should hear it. You know, now that things are serious between us." Again he is silent and I start to worry, but then he looks at me.

"You are truly the most incredible person I have ever met. I consider myself very lucky." He smiles at me, then leans down and we kiss for a moment. It feels like heaven.

We lay there for a few minutes, just cuddling and telling each other how our day was. We laugh and as the sun slowly sets, I start to get dressed.

"I wish I could stay here with you. But you know what my parents are like." He leans back on his elbow, watching me get dressed and contact my parents to pick me up.

"Hmm, I think we would do it again. If you stayed here tonight, I mean." I smile at him, sit down on his bed for a moment and ruffle his hair.

"I wouldn't mind, darling." The nickname makes him blush and when he leans forward to kiss me, I playfully push him away.

"I have to go, are you coming down with me?" He nods, feigning annoyance, and as we walk out of his room, he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him.

He steals his kiss there, but more than that he steals my heart.

We smile at each other and for this moment everything is just perfect. We go downstairs and just as we are back in the living room we hear a door open loudly.

A visibly drunk man stumbles in. I see Carl tense up next to me, staring at the stranger angrily. I quietly lean towards him to whisper my question.

"Who is that?" When he rolls his eyes, I get a bad feeling.

"That's my father, great isn't it?" The man in front of me is dirty, has unkempt hair and an unpleasant smile on his face.

"Should I ask my parents if you can stay overnight?" My gaze is more focused on the man than on Carl.

But he just shakes his head, and just as he is about to answer, the man sees us too.

"Oh, my son! It's so good to see you, not really, but I'll take your bed. Fiona has mine. Is that your little girlfriend? She looks expensive, very good catch. How much money did you rip her off? I hope it's worth it to go through all this drama." I frown in confusion, but when Carl freezes next to me, I become uncertain.

"What does he mean by that?" This time my gaze is directed solely at Carl.

"Nothing, he's drunk-" but before he can finish, the man does.

"How rude of me, I am Frank. The proud father of this child, at least one of my descendants has made something of himself and used his talent. He has my good genes, the good looks and I teach him the tricks. Like exploiting an innocent, very very rich girl for money. It doesn't bother you, I hope? You seem to have enough, but I hope my son returns the favor to you."

The words catch me so off guard that I can't move. I don't believe anything this man says until I see the guilty look on Carl's face.

"W-what? That's a lie, right? Tell me he's lying, Carl." As he runs his hands through his hair and tries to answer me, Frank speaks again.

"Oh, you haven't confessed to her yet? My fault, I should have waited. I didn't think you would humiliate this girl for so long. I told you this wouldn't end well." But Carl ignores him completely when he notices me moving away from him.

"Wait, I'm sorry. It wasn't like that-" But I interrupt him, already feeling tears gathering in my eyes.

"So what happened? You act like you don't want any money from me and-" Carl's look becomes frustrated.

"You offered me your money! You said if I matched it, everything would be fine for you." I'm almost speechless, is this all a nightmare?

"Are you serious? I offered it to you because you weren't asking for it. And now I find out it was your plan from the beginning? You just talked to me, just spent time with me to get my money? Who does that?" Frank's voice intervenes.

"I invented the strategy, my dear. It's turning out to be quite useful." But I don't pay attention to him, I just look at Carl.

"Please, I'm sorry. Yes, it was meant that way in the beginning, but it's different now. I-" My tears flow when he admits it and any feeling of happiness disappears. All that remains is betrayal and sadness.

"You what? What am I saying, you were probably happy that I only wanted you in return. I'm such an idiot. You didn't just take my money, you took my first time too!" As he comes towards me, I step back.

"Listen to me, I didnt force you to do all this for me. You wanted it." The more he talks the more desperate I feel and the greater my anger becomes.

"You idiot! I thought you liked me! I thought you finally noticed me too." My sobs get louder and my vision blurs. When he tries to grab my face, I slap him.

"My cue to go. I can see that you're sorting it out between yourselves just fine." Frank's footsteps fading away are nothing compared to the sound of my heart breaking.

"I like you, I really like you. At first it wasn't my intention to start a relationship with you, but then I got to know you and-" Every word that escapes him is only worse.

"Stop talking! You know what the worst thing is that I liked you for so long before you even talked to me. And I thought it was a miracle when you first spoke to me in the libary. I should have listened to the others, you only care about yourself!" I wipe the tears from my cheeks, wishing I could be anywhere but here.

Then before he can say anything, I turn around and run out of the house. But I hear him following me.

"Wait! Don't just walk away, I have to get this straight. Hey!" He catches me, turns me around and holds my tear-stained face in his hands.

"I'm an idiot, I know that. I'm sorry for hurting you. I- God, I love you. You hear me? I love you too. Please stay." But I just shake my head and try to free myself from his grip.

"How do I know if that isn't a lie too? You've betrayed me, I can't talk to you now." When my car pulls up, I get in without turning around. I don't look back, even though his loud curse can be heard throughout the whole neighborhood.

🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

I spend the next few days without saying much, but I cried almost the whole time.

I miss him incredibly, not a day has gone by in the last few months when I haven't seen him and now I've been alone for three days.

I wish he was here, but on the other hand I am so hurt and feel terrible. He is the reason for this.

I wish I had never found out. I wish he had never done it, never lied to me. Didn't use me for money, but worst of all, I don't know if he even likes me.

Today is the first day that I go back to school. Even though I put on make-up, choose a nice outfit and listen to my favorite songs to distract myself, I can only think of him.

His blonde hair, his beautiful eyes, the way his lips felt. How he felt inside me. Then I remember that he loves me and how he finally said it, something I have wanted to hear for so long.

But then I think about what he did and everything feels empty again.

As I enter the school, my friends come to meet me. They already know what happened, they all hug me and I feel a little better.

Until I see him.

And he sees me too. It takes all my effort to avert my gaze. To get my books out of my cupboard, but then I have to stop because he is not standing next to me offering to carry them.

I take it myself, close my door, but before I can go any further, he is standing in front of me. My heart stops. Oh, how his eyes shine.

"Do you need help?" His eyes focus on the books and I have to swallow several times before I can answer.

"No, I have to go to class now." But as I try to walk past him, he stops me.

"You don't answer my texts, you don't call me back. I'm not allowed into your house and you avoid me at school. What can I do? Please tell me what I need to do, so you forgive me." I laugh, but it is without humor.

"What can you do? Move."

I can see his shock, but he still doesn't step aside.

"Can't you hear me? I said-" but he walks toward me until I'm forced to lean my back against the lockers.

His eyes find mine.

"I can't sleep. And when I do, I dream of you. There's a - a hole in my heart that only you can fill. It hurts and I hate not being with you. It's even worse to be here, when you don't look at me the way you usually do. You don't smile at me, God, you don't look like you're in love with me anymore. It's hell."

Tears gather in my eyes, his words are so desperate, it hurts to see him like this.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you took advantage of me. Before you slept with me." A tear runs down my cheek and I know my mascara is smudging.

"I know, I know. And I feel so bad, I'll do anything to make it right. Just tell me."

When I look into his eyes, my heart also hurts.

"Move, Carl. I can't see you now." This time he lets go of me and I go to class with tears in my eyes.

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

It's been four weeks since we last spoke, but it doesn't hurt any less to see him. Even if I don't let him talk to me, he doesn't give up.

He puts flowers in my locker, chocolate, and notes full of apologies and sweet promises.

Everything warms my heart, but it still feels like this money thing is unresolved between us. I know now that he likes me, very much in fact, as he makes it clear, but that doesn't change the real problem.

That he used me for my money.

As I leave school that day, I feel exhausted and, as I often do, I wish I had his arms around me.

Holding me tight, his lips kissing me, loving me.

As I wait for my father's car, I suddenly hear his familiar throat clearing. With my heart pounding, I turn around and see him smiling uncertainly at me.

"I know what I had to do and now I've done it. Here." He gives me an envelope and I take it uncertainly.

"Carl, your letters are flattering, but-" He quickly interrupts me.

"No, it's something else. Open it." The deja vu hits me unexpectedly and I slowly open the envelope, the content leaves me speechless.

"What is that supposed to be?" It's rhetorical, but I ask anyway.

"All the money I owe you. What you've kindly given me, I pay it back. Every cent. You can count." He looks so proud, I almost have to laugh.

"How- did you rob a bank?" He grins contentedly at my reaction.

"An old grandma." This time I laugh and he comes closer to me, slowly taking my hands.

"No, seriously. How did you do that?" He looks at me lovingly.

"Working in the kitchen every day after school, I found a part-time job with Fiona. The payment is bad, but it was worth it. I understand that money was the problem and well, that I wasn't honest to you." As I lower the envelope, we look at each other.

"Promise, no more secrets?"

He smiles and suddenly the world is a brighter place.

"Promise, but we continue one of our agreements." I raise my eyebrows questioningly, seeing him grin as he leans toward me, his breath brushing against my lips and he whispers:

"I'll still spend my breaks with you in the janitor's room."

The laughter that escapes me gets interrupted, when his lips meet mine.

[autisticrosewilson]

You have any Wilson family headcanons to spare? Especially on Rose & Grant?

DO I EVER!!! Gosh where do I even start

I mentioned to a friend of mine the other day that I think Slade was a leash kid, and I stand by that whole heartedly. He wanted to raise Grant as a leash kid too, simply because he thought you were supposed to, but Adeline threatened his life so it never happened. This was the first of many times he was confronted with the concept that maybe his home life wasn't great.

He would not even begin reflecting on this until almost a decade later. He still doesn't really consider himself a victim and honestly most of his shitty parenting comes from him just having no clue what he's doing. He's aware that he's bad at it, but instead of trying to improve he just tries to avoid his kids in hopes that they'll be better off without him.

Also he grew up in 1950's-60's Appalachia, I think he's more superstitious than he lets on. I imagine he grew up hearing about family curses and old wives tales, and while on some level he recognizes that Fran likely just used those stories to cope with the situation there's also a part of him that believes it for the same reasons she did. He's not a victim, he can't be, so it must not have been abuse. Which eventually turned into him just kind of accepting that he was always going to be a bad father, that there was never a chance for him to have a family and any attempt he makes will just end up worse than the last.

It makes it easier to maintain his self imposed isolation that way.

Adeline is a lot more interesting than people give her credit for. I like to think she was born and raised in a big city like New York or maybe Gotham if I wanted to be funny. She was definitely a wild child, and that was something that didn't change during her first marriage.

I truly do believe that Count whats-his-face (I don't care enough to look him up) tried exactly once to hit her and he ended up with three bullet wounds that all knicked arteries. It was his only warning and he was smart enough to know that.

Addie is loyal to the end, she's the kind of person that steadfastly refuses to let go of people she cares about. In basically ever version of her story she tries, she tries so hard to make things work. I once compared her to the Greek myth of Medea and I think about the comparison often.

I also think that Adeline was always her father's daughter, whether she liked it or not. I don't remember if it was canon that she was raised primarily by her dad but I only remember her dad being mentioned so I think she grew up in a single parent household and was mostly left to her own devices as a kid. She probably grew up really close with her cousin, most people probably thought they were sisters.

Mayflower fucking HATES Slade, she was advocating for the divorce before they were even married. I know in my heart she was Slade's biggest hater. Her and Slade talked mad shit about each other but they were also gossip buddies for the longest and it was the only thing that stopped her from beating his ass all the time.

SladeAddie is so toxic Bi4Bi coded. Really funny to me that Addie was probably older than Slade, do you know the kind of rizz you have to possess to bag a milf that could kill you in 20 different ways before you could blink? One who's already been divorced? What charm was this freshly 18 year old drop out exuding to be pulling like this?

When do you think he told her that he lied to the recruiter about his age and he wasn't actually 23 or whatever? Did he ever tell her? Did she figure it out herself? It was literally never addressed but I think about it all the time.

Slade is definitely still mildly in love with her and falls a little all over again every time she deals him grievous bodily harm. I don't know his thing for people who hate him is probably a self conscious way to punish himself for sucking all the time.

Billy and Alfred being friends is a headcanon that I literally never stop thinking about. Why wouldn't they be old friends or whatever? They have tea the 4th Tuesday of every other month. They complain about their respective morons and brag about the kids they have to take care of because their morons won't.

Billy is definitely a British rock fan and he fucking HATES country music. Slade starts playing it in the car and Billy threatens to crash the whole car just to make a point.

He's like maybe 5 years older than Slade if I'm being generous about it, he just looks older next to Slade because he's not hopped up on super serum.

He's the one Rose gives her father's day gifts to <3

SladeBilly is canon to me, no way Slade is capable of spending that much time with someone without sleeping with them at least once. It might be the healthiest relationship he's ever had with anyone and Billy barely tolerates him.

Lilian Worth my beloved,,,,,,they gave her such a white ass name. I choose to believe that she changed it later on for anonymity. Chea Nath is a name she hasn't used in a while, but it's still one she holds dear.

She seems like someone who was really into ballet, and probably someone who was really good at it too.

She's one of those characters that we don't really have any information on, which leaves a lot of wiggle room backstory wise. I probably write too much about characters with poor backgrounds (surprise your bitch grew up impoverished) so I guess I'll let Lili have this one.

Diplomats daughter, her and her mom were really close growing up, and she seems like she grew up with sisters. She's got that middle sister energy to her, growing up everyday was a fight and let's just say she didn't lose often.

If Adeline is Medea, Lili is definitely Circe. Versatile, powerful, a man hater, and she'll do anything to protect her girls.

Honors student, her grades never dropped below an A- and she has degrees in everything from fine art to communications. Rose went to college purely because her mom made it clear that not going was not an option.

Grant is one of my favorite characters. Ever. He's definitely an old school country enjoyer, much to Billy's chagrin and Slades secret delight.

He was the boy who climbed up the tallest trees to prove he could and then came home with a thousand little scrapes on him.

He has a bee allergy.

He's the least enhanced of his siblings but he still has a meta gene, I think the reason the H.I.V.E. serum didn't activate it like it should have is because his power was the mental kind and not the physical kind so his body couldn't hold up against it even while his psychic powers were getting stronger.

Painted his nails one(1) time, it was a dried up iridescent blue that Addie dug up and was going to throw away but Grant wanted to try it. He didn't know what nail polish remover was though so he scraped his teeth on his nails to get it all off but he couldn't get all of it and he almost cried so hard he threw up at dinner that night because he was scared of Slade noticing (Slade didn't notice and wouldn't have cared if he did).

Thought he was SO stealthy when he snuck out but literally everyone knew because he always came home smelling like weed, hungover, and he went to school in the same clothes he wore to go out. Most of the time Addie didn't care (See above: "former wild child") but Slade "Biggest loser in his hometown" Wilson always had an issue with it.

Officially his tomb is located in the Kane family plot but he's actually buried in Slades hometown next to his grandmother. (Adeline is not aware of this)

Joey was actually the one who pulled most of the pranks when they were kids, but Grant always took the fall. Mostly because literally no one would believe it even if Joey said he did it. Which he tried to do, many times.

Grant taught Joey to make flower crowns but he never admitted it because he thought it made him look weak. He still keeps the few that Joey made for him though, they're basically turning to dust in the drawer he hid them in to this day. They're one of the few things that weren't torn down and shoved in the attic after his death.

Joey still celebrates Grant's birthday every year, him and mom play The Last Man by Clint Mansell on the piano because it was his favorite piece to play before he stopped because it wasn't "cool".

Grant tried to get Joey to come with him when he ran away but Joey didn't want to leave Addie. Joey ended up moving into Grant's old apartment, he often thinks of what life would be like if he'd taken up the offer.

Grant is THE ass hole big brother from the late 90's/early 2000's. Down to the mullet and the shirt with the sleeves cut off. He used to steal Addie's eyeliner and she would get so mad because that stuff is EXPENSIVE and he's just smearing however. She teaches him how to do it properly but he says it makes him look "too girly".

Grant's picture is the only one in Slades wallet because he doesn't have to worry about putting him in danger anymore.

DON'T let Joey's "natural" pretty boy look fool you he has a 20 step skin routine and a 15 step hair routine and he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to start on his makeup.

He used to get the worst acne as a pre-teen and he has physically burned all the evidence except for one picture of him and Slade on a fishing trip when he was like thirteen, he doesn't know it exists and it's the only picture Slade consistently travels with.

He doesn't want to be the favorite but he would get mad if someone else was the favorite because what work were YOU even putting in for it.

He has 12 year old boy humor I fear. Giggles at dick jokes and has used his name to make "Joe Mama" jokes on various occasions.

Number one Mama's boy of all time, there's not a single time they've gone out in public together where they haven't had coordinated outfits. Him and Addie call biweekly to shit talk people and exchange recipes and the like.

Joey is THE biggest gossiper. He'll talk shit about people right in front of them if he's sure they don't know ASL and whoever is around just has to try not to laugh while they "translate" him.

He's so good at convincing people to do things for him just by looking at them with his big ol' eyes. And he's a theater kid so his expressions are really exaggerated.

Rose, my muse. I know canonically she's a smoker but I'm changing that to her being a vaper. I don't know she just looks like she'd beat the shit out of you for a cherry lemon cancer stick.

Energy drinks don't work on her in normal amounts so to rectify that she constantly walks around with horrific concoctions in a water bottle the size of her head.

She street races as R4V4G3R and she's pretty good at it. She learned a lot about cars doing it which is how Slade justified being an anonymous benefactor for her.

The few weeks Slade had her she ran that shit like the navy. Up at 6 AM on the dot, tight ass ponytail swaying as she got ready for school. She was out that door by 7:25 everyday and she would MAKE Slade violate traffic laws to get to school by 7:35.

Has bitten people before and will do it again.

Had the BIGGEST crush on Donna Troy when she was on the Teen Titans. She didn't know it then but she did. Her taste in women really hasn't changed at all.

Only has her grunge thing going on when she's planning on meeting people, average day outfit is all pastels and florals that her mom used to pick out for her.

Got pretty much all of Lili's stuff, her main apartment is always Immaculately decorated. She also lives in L.A. because literally fuck New York. She's trying to get her engineering degree in PEACE.

She looks up to Grant a lot, she really only has Joey's account of things and he only tells her the good stuff. How he was brave, and strong, and funny. When she was younger she really wanted to be like him, but that was the last thing Slade wanted. So obviously she named herself Ravager out of spite.

Rose is the shortest one in the family but she's buff as hell, my girl is built like a fridge and she knows it. Joey tried to rest his arm on her head one and she stabbed him. It didn't go through his armor obviously but it did leave a mildly annoying bruise that he pouted about for a week.

She low-key really likes Addie but she tends to stay away because of the whole "child of infidelity" thing. She HAS threatened to call Addie on Slade multiple times.

Grew up with a bunch of other kids so she never really wanted siblings, but she would kill for Joey. She'd like a sister though. Really misses her cousins and aunts from the brothel but doesn't want to put them in danger by talking to them.

She's fond of kids but wouldn't want her own because she doesn't want to bring a kid into the kinda life she has, or their family in general.

Routinely takes jobs from Slade because she knows full well he won't do shit. And she's right every time he makes it into a team up that usually ends with them fighting but sometimes, every once in a while, they do something nice together and it makes her remember why she wanted to find him so bad when she was 13.

I don't like her carving her eye out for Slade I thought the whole concept of her idolizing Slade was fucking stupid. She tolerates him at best. So I like to attribute it to her visions, I think the blind prophet symbolism is really fun. Especially because then we can have a Prometheus type situation where her eye patch keeps switching sides/sometimes she's not blind because she keeps carving them out in fits of Seer Madness™️ but they keep regenerating.

SHE HAS BROWN EYES HER EYES ARE BROWN I KNOW HER PERSONALLY PLEASE LET HER KEEP EVEN ONE OF HER ETHNIC FEATURES I BEG!!!

[the-way-astray]

ok so keefe doesnt like you and you dont like him

this has been established

but how would this affect ur relationships with the rest of the crew

ANOTHER ASK THAT I HAVE NOT SEEN UNTIL THIS POINT tumblr when i catch you . . .

i'd like to think it wouldn't affect my relationships with them too much.

i like sophie and fitz fine. realistically speaking, my reaction to keefe would be to stay as far away from him as possible and interact with him never. if he notices and tries to reach out, well, fuck him. sophie and fitz would likely notice my desperate attempts to avoid keefe at all costs and be slightly puzzled, and if they confronted me about it, i'd list off all the things i don't like about keefe and leave it there. they may get slightly defensive at first, but i think they would eventually accept the truth. that he sucks balls.

i don't care about dex (ew). but i think he would care a bit too much that i don't like keefe, because he and keefe are pretty similar. he may or may not confront me, at which point i may or may not tell him that i'm not his biggest fan either. that may piss some people in the crew off.

biana i'm utterly neutral on. i honestly have no idea how she would react, seeing as she has no canon personality whatsoever to me.

i think tam would be a bit put off by the ferocity of my hatred (tam's dislike for keefe is very mild-annoyance-y) and claim i'm giving him too much power by hating him so ferociously, to which i would say i keep my hatred quiet unless called out on it.

linh wouldn't care, i feel. she's not close enough to keefe.

marella would find it amusing. because she loves drama and gossip.

maruca, hmm. i have no idea. shannon please do something with her.

stina probably wouldn't even realize i'm avoiding keefe, i think.

and wylie would try to sit me down and have a talk in which he explains keefe's bad childhood to me after i go on a lengthy rant against him. to which i would say i know but that's an explanation, not an excuse and that everyone was only encouraging his shitty behavior by making excuses for him and dumping pity on him. which wylie may reflect on and see my point. or at least he would respect it.

[the-bird-and-the-flute]

Napoleon - Ikevamp - Crimson Corsica

Pairing: Mitsuki x Napoleon

Word count: 695

Warning: blood sucking, NSFW

A/N: it’s a napoleon’s POV. I'm trying sth diffrent today to celebrate his birthday :D. Love you Napoleon <3. Btw, my napoleon masterlist is still a mess but I'm probably going to rearrange it tomorrow

Oh, also, there may be a spoiler from Napoleon's Act 2.

I’ve been invited to dinner at my friend’s house, Jack, in Corsica. 

While I don’t care much about fancy dinners and all of that, as I had enough of them when I was an emperor, I couldn’t say no to this one, as this friend of mine helped me a lot to buy a summer house in my hometown a few years ago.

Mitsuki just loves coming to Corsica. Every time I have free time to leave Paris, I always take her here. It's also a great opportunity for both of us to enjoy a married life outside of the mansion.

Don't get me wrong, I love living in Comte’s mansion, but it’s hard to have private time with my wife when you live with so many people there - who by coincidence love to gossip.

Besides, today is my birthday, but only Mitsuki knows that here in Corsica. I don’t mind if people eventually find out, but I just prefer to keep this little secret to just the two of us as I will have all of my time for her.

Because it’s my birthday, she decided to buy a new dress for this occasion, and I gotta say that she did a great job with that.

The cleavage of her yellow dress is driving me insane to the point I'm having a hard time right now paying attention to their conversation during dinner.

I’m trying my best to keep it cool, but I don’t know how much longer I can take. I’d say that I’ve been doing a pretty decent job fighting against my bloodlust, but every time we come to Corsica I don’t know what it is but I just feel way more horny than usual. I wonder if something in me changed after I came back to life again.

I still feel like the same man Mitsuki met when she saw me the first time, but it's as if my vampire and my human side are unbalanced when she is around.

“Napoleone?”

Her sweet calm voice made me snap back to reality.

“Yes?”

“I was saying I think we should be going now. It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Somehow, I managed to survive this dinner. I have no idea what they talked about all night, but I think Mitsuki didn't notice I spent all night staring at her.

Mitsuki seems interested in walking on the beach before going home, but I do not wanna do that. I gave her some lame excuses and, although she was a bit suspicious, maybe because it was my birthday, she didn’t protest. Perhaps I’ll have to come up with better excuses next time. She is a sharp opponent.

A few minutes later, we finally got to our summer house. While she was opening the door, I seized the opportunity to whisper in my wife's ear, commanding her to follow me to our bed.

After sitting on the bed, I immediately helped her to take her dress off. She better thank me later for not ruining her beautiful dress. 

Wearing only her also yellow underwear, Mitsuki sat on my lap, her tights rubbing on my cock, making things even more enticing. Not knowing if I wanted to fuck her first or suck her blood, I followed my instincts, so I went for her neck.

I licked the left side of her neck to hear a soft moan inviting me to keep going.

My exposed fangs penetrated her burning skin and, in no time, I got access to her sweet blood. 

I was sucking her so hard that a few minutes later I could not only hear her now loud moans but also feel that her underwear was getting more wet. Then, with one hand holding her waist, I used the other one to put Mitsuki’s underwear to the side to expose her.

Every inch of my cock was now inside of my beloved. I wanted to take my time to admire her while we fucked, but I couldn’t help myself. Her wetness was so intoxicating that I lost control of my body, filling her with all I had, with the power of a once emperor.

[fereldanwench]

okay so

i guess i'm doing this

i've avoided talking too publicly about any of this because it's... messy and uncomfortable for me, and probably other people, too. i also don't want to perpetuate drama and i was hoping i could just move on, but i don't think i can without unburdening myself a little here and i need to be witnessed, lmao.

i think this fandom also has a culture of whispering and gossiping in discord servers and dms rather than addressing anything head-on, and breaking that norm is also uncomfortable.

but the thing is, even if no one explicitly shares anything, that energy still obviously influences more public spaces and how we interact with each other. it breeds a lot of paranoia and mistrust, i think, even for people who aren't predisposed to dealing with issues like social anxiety or RSD. but given how many of us do actually deal with those things, it makes it even worse.

(although on the flipside, i think there are also plenty of conflicts that should be resolved privately and sometimes going full salted-earth publicly is also the wrong move, but I DIGRESS)

and look, yes, i am bad in this regard, too. i got sucked into this shit with everyone else, and i fuckin' hate it. i hate how much inconsequential knowledge i have rotting inside my already very overloaded brain about who's besties and who blocked whomst and WHATEVER THE FUCK I DO NOT FUCKING CARE

i didn't get involved in this shit in high school, i certainly don't need to be getting involved in it now

having said all that, here's some internal fandom conflict i've been dealing with on and off since january of this year.

about a week after lizzie's shutdown, i did notice that people i thought i was cool with were seemingly no longer cool with me. it was also happened not too long after i made the how-to fandom guide that i realized missed the mark for some folks, so i was like, well, maybe it was just that.

but to be completely honest, even if it was just that, that still kinda sucked too. although i agreed with the feedback that i should have taken a different approach to some areas in that guide and been more sympathetic to other sensitivities for creators in the fandom, my heart was in the right place. intent doesn't override impact, of course, but intent should still count for something, i think.

and i'm not asking for sympathy, i don't want or need it, but i do just want to share where i was mentally at the time to set the stage for later anxieties: no one likes getting yelled at for doing what they thought was a good thing.

but yanno, also, again to be fully transparent, i did feel like some folks were projecting their insecurities onto some sections and were just taking an uncharitable read on it as a result. i think a handful of people just didn't read it at all and wanted to revel in some righteous indignation, an impulse i unfortunately also understand too well so i can't judge too harshly there. sometimes you just see a phrase that just gets under your skin and nothing else said before or after that matters. i know. I've been there. but it is still kind of unfair to the person on the receiving end.

but i tried to walk away from that situation with humility and understanding and as a lesson to be more thoughtful in the future. i also had enough people say that it was helpful for me to feel like ultimately was a net positive, and i felt like everyone was moving past it.

so a few weeks later, after lizzie's had shut down under INCREDIBLY ABRUPT AND CONFUSING CIRCUMSTANCES TO ME, and i noticed i was being seemingly shunned or even blocked by folks i was like...

are people mad at me again for the how-to-fandom post?

or, because i am publicly friends with some prominent members of lizzies who have been accused of bullying and other bad things, that i am guilty by association?

at the time, i actually considered making some sort of public statement, but i took a step back, and i told myself "no, you're just still dealing with some lingering anxieties about The Fandom Post and you're extra sensitive and inclined to some paranoia right now. you were mostly active in the 3 months in lizzie's before it shut down. you don't have a strong association with the server. that's silly. and making a post like that will probably just make things worse because people will assume a guilty conscience is an admission of wrongdoing in and of itself."

(and i do have a guilty conscience, but i was raised catholic, my natural state is to assume i did something wrong even if i quantifiably didn't, lmao.)

but i would still catch little comments here and there, notice passive-aggressive tags on someone's post, or even just feel a vibe that kept me thinking... maybe i actually am accused of doing something.

so when That Blog started up (and yes i hate myself for being enthralled by it and i just blocked it because i know my curious monkey brain will continue leading me to the dark side if i don't), and i saw that i was explicitly accused of being a part of some inner cabal of 30-year-old women who were bullying everyone in lizzie's, i was like OH okay. so it wasn't paranoia, i was right. being friends with a few people who have been accused of wrongdoing and i guess... winning a photomode contest once was enough for some people to assume that i was one of the big baddies in the server? cool.

but the other big reason i didn't want to say anything publicly at the time was the two incidents that i was aware of did not involve me at all. i literally just did not do anything. and it wasn't my place then nor is it my place now to weigh in on other of those, especially in a public setting. i don't even want to say anything beyond this, really. i wasn't involved in any capacity, and i don't want to be involved. they're just not my conflicts.

and i know some people will take that stance in and of itself as being complicit or whatever, and that's your perogative, but i just don't feel right about inserting myself in a situation that never involved me. and i certainly don't want to drag anyone, friend or otherwise, into anything when they're probably trying to work past it in their own ways, too.

i'm also not even that pressed about people deciding they don't "trust" me or whatever for being friends (or just being friendly with--some of the people I'm accused of conspiring with i don't even know that well) with people they don't like. I'm sometimes wary of people who are friends with people i don't vibe with, too. i get it. so if you want to label me as guilty by association, knock your socks off. but just know that within the context of The Lizzie's Situation, that is the extent of my trangressions.

and outside of The Lizzie's Situation, the only two things i can think of that i did were 1) foot-in-mouth guide as addressed up there, which i really think is more of a miscommunication than an actual Bad Thing and 2) acting like an asshole in another server to someone because i was mad about how they treated my friends, which was still the wrong way to handle those feelings, and I apologized for the best way i can under the circumstances.

i genuinely cannot think of anything else I've done to cause harm to anyone in this fandom. even with people i don't like, i still don't want to hurt them. i just don't want to interact with them. if there is something else i did and you want to talk to me about it, i am open to hearing about that and doing what i can to alleviate that hurt (if it's possible, i know sometimes it's not) and making the effort to not do that again in the future.

i know i can't do anything about people who are already convinced that i am the devil, but i don't think i could really accept that and move on without at least getting my side out there. so if you read this, thank you.

that said, i do think i need to disconnect for a while so if anyone reaches out one way or the other, I'm taking the day off from social media, lol. maybe the weekend, idk, we'll see.

but yeah. that's it. thanks. 💙

[cosmo-lexies]

Dylan Season 1 (3/7)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4: Law & Order-Version gossip family

There were a lot of MDs from Victoria on my mobile. She was free next Friday and suggested some places. Obviously, I selected the movies. The cinema is in Battle Ground over twenty minutes from WoodenTown. It's the perfect place to recharge without anyone noticing.

Besides, in this way, we couldn't talk much. Andrew thinks these things are easy, 'go on a date with that cute girl,' 'Think about this dance,' 'I'm sure that you would have a good time.' That is bullshit. If I approached the people, they would start to ask. 'Where are you from,' 'Why do you live with your aunt and uncle?', and the worst, 'Where are your parents?'.

My life is hard enough without typical teenage troubles. And it's a matter of time before these problems appear if I'm not careful. Maybe I should have accepted.

I put the phone on silent and went to bed without eating dinner. After this intense day, I only want to sleep. I was begging to sleep when my Uncle Jerry appear by the stairs.

"The dinner is ready. Are you sleeping?" he asked.

"I tried. I'm not hungry."

"C'mon boy, Sunday dinners are very important."

Jerry is tremendously traditional in some things. I saw him cry while the national anthem was sounding, and Sunday's church and family dinner is something sacred. Despite this, he is a good guy and hardworking. Let's be real, if some unknown nephew shows up at your house without any explanation, not many people are gonna be down to just let him in.

I changed my jams and downed. The best moment of the week, the interrogation. Okay, interrogation maybe be too much. It's a conversation that the authority figure wants that we tell them all about our week. It's a fucking interrogation.

First Elena the eldest daughter, for only five minutes, the last thing is mentioned by Tomas all the time. Then Tomas and after I,  and lastly Mary. Always in that order, from oldest to youngest.

"Well, Dylan, something new?" my aunt asked.

"As usual, class and job," I said while staring down the peas on my plate with reluctance.

"And what did you do today? We didn't see you all day," Jerry asked.

He wouldn't approve of how I passed the Sunday. He's barely over me being an atheist. I prefer not to think about his reaction if he knows I'm all about casual flings. Well, I was.

"I hung out with a friend." It's not a lie at all.

Okay, it's a lie. I don't like lying but sometimes the consequences of telling the truth suck even more. For example, if Andrew had bought my lies, I'd all be enjoying a peaceful dinner without these impulses to wreck stuff.

"Do you have friends?" Tomas said.

"Tomas Jefferson White, I educated you better than this. Disculpate inmediatamente, vaya por dios," when my aunt got angry, she finished saying something in Spanish. Maybe this's the reason why my cousins don't learn Spanish, the language of scoldings.

"Sorry Dylan," he was blushing as red as a tomato. I wasn't angry, he was right about me and my friends.

"Friends, I don't know, but he has a date," Elena said with a crooked grin.

"Really, who?" Tomas asked.

"Victoria," Elena answered him.

"Do you have a date with the most beautiful girl in the school? You are born lucky," Tomas said.

This conversation had been very uncomfortable. I changed the issue, and rapidly Mary saved me when she started to talk about her week. Apparently, she had married a boy from her class. Jerry started a speech about why she doesn't have to play with these things, that marriage is sacred. Unfortunate Mary.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5: Superhero movies in a world with superheroes are reality shows?

The time flew by and the Friday arrived. I was waiting for Victoria in the street in front of my aunt's. She would come to pick me up at 6 in sharp. I would have gone to grab her, but I don't have a driver's license because of a matter with a car that almost ended up in Fuken Lake. Nobody got hurt, but I don't think the examiner's back on duty yet. She arrived late, over ten minutes. She drove an old station wagon.

"Hey, thanks for picking me up!" I said while getting in the car.

"No problem, Elena told me about the car exam incident," obviously, she told. She always told.

"Well, my relationship with the cars is complicated," I said trying to be nice. "The next month I will sit for my third test,"

"Really! Are you ready?"

"Not, I not. Pero a la tercera va la vencida."

"Ohh, Tu hablas español amigo?" she said with a bad Mexican accent; honestly, I shouldn't complain when we got back to the USA, my English pronunciation was trash.

"Yes, I'm part Spanish, and I grew up in Spain until I was eleven years old."

"Really so cool. My Spanish is bad, but I always wanted to learn other languages. I started last year."

We continue to speak about languages, class, and other issues. She told me a lot of gossip about my classmates, but I didn't remember most of those people. I have to admit that I didn't expect to have such a good affinity with Victoria. We arrived with little time to start the movie, fortunately. My small talk skills were poor and I was dry on topics.

When we sat down, the trailers had just finished. We selected superhero movies, I'm more of a fantasy fan, but she's all about the capes and tights. We watched 'Captain Liberty and the Violet Wicht.'

In a moment, I realized that Victoria was touching my arm. I approached my face to say something about it, but she kissed me ardently. Between the flashes of the movie, I could see her eyes. I didn't notice until that moment, they are an intense blue, like the lapis lazuli.  We were kissing for some minutes when she started to touch other parts.

I was hotter by the minute,  but doing this in public didn't like me. For this reason, I held her hand and we got out to the movie theater. We entered the bathroom, which had the typical individual stall; she started kissing me while I was opening a stall. She was pretty and I didn't expect she was so bold. I was so focused on her that I forgot my previous doubts.

"What do you want? " I asked with my sexy tone of voice.

"What do you mean?" she blushed and her hands began to tremble.

"I mean, what do you like? Maybe oral sex or ..."

"I don't know," she was nervous; this wasn't working.

I moved away and gave her some room to breathe. I started to feel shame, I was too much intense and had her feeling overwhelmed.

"We could still catch the rest of the movie if you want, there's still half left to watch," I said with a smile.

"I'm sorry," she whispered while looking away.

"I'm the one who should apologize. I went all out too much. C'mon, go back to the movie. Capitan Liberty still hasn't saved the day," I smile at her. I didn't know what else to do.

She changed her worried face and looked at me. "Capitan Liberty is the bad guy, man."

"Thanks for the spoiler." I  was joking, I wasn't interested in the movie.

"This isn't a spoiler it's basis culture. Everybody knows that Capitan Liberty is the nemesis of Violet Witch," she said while we got out to the bath.  "He is infiltrated in the Rescues, but he is the leader of Chimera, the biggest organization of supervillains." She had recovered the mood and was calmy again.

"You are a comics geek, are you?"

"Shut up, looks who's talking, I know your secret," for a moment it was hard to breathe for me, I have too many secrets and any of them can screw up my life. "You have a huge collection of fantasy and sci-fi books hidden in your e-book reader." I breathed calmly. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. We better go back to the movie."

That was really close. I shouldn't have dated her, and I should have been careful with my life. It wasn't until just this moment that I realized my cousin knows stuff about me that I didn't even know she knew.

We watched the movie, and when we went out, we bumped into Jackson Lee and a friend. I don't remember the guy's name, although I think he's in my physics class. I'm not good with names. The only reason why I remember Jackson is that he's a local celebrity. He's WoondenTown's only known HEA, besides he was getting ready to enlist in the FAHEA special forces, which is major for a tiny-ass town like this.

"Hi, Dylan, Vic. How are you?"

"What's good, how are you doing?" Victoria answered.

"Great! Do you care that I speak with Dylan alone for a sec?" We move to a corner. He had a big smile on his face. "I celebrate a party tomorrow in the point, are you know? in the north shore of Foken Lake."

"Thank you, but parties are not for me."

"C'mon man, it will be funny, and you could bring your cousin. Could you hook up your lab partner with this favor?" finally, I understood the invitation; although I wasn't sure if he was my lab partner.

"I will ask her, but I won't promise anything." I was sure about not going to the party, but I didn't feel like speaking more about this.

"Thanks, bro. I will send the address. If you need anything, you will call me."

I walk with Victoria to her car. She offered to take me home, but I kindly declined. I needed to recharge. She insisted but I made up something about I needed exercise. I don't remember exactly what I said.

In the lateral of the cinema, there was a strange guy with some kind of calculator with a tiny parabolic. He was twenty-something, with brow hair and a worried face. He approaches the parabolic to my face.

"Do you want something, dude?" I didn't understand the situation.

"Do you know if there's anything like 15 kilometers heading north?" he had a strange voice; I couldn't say what was wrong, he was speaking a perfect Ingles, but there was something weird.

"I guess that's Fuken Lake, but I'm not sure,"

"Okey, thank you very much" he was disappeared from the corner. That guy was freaky.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

The corner of her lips tugged into a smirk as she glanced his way, relieved he hadn't taken her stupid comparison of Doom too hard. Of course he always seemed to know how skirt around her verbal fumbles - his obliviousness taken as purposeful comfort to her awkwardness. "Really? I didn't know that," she said with genuine surprise. "Guess he was a luckier then I thought," she said, letting her gaze stay on him momentarily longer before taking another bite of food.

If he'd made it this long, she had no doubt Doom was smart. Emily hadn't seen a dog, let alone a pet, since she and Oscar left D.C. The Wexley truly was an amazing place. Even still. She was beginning to see why everyone stuck around instead of moving on like her and her brother. Of course they'd never known what stability like this felt like. Not really. Once the world fell apart, they'd just stuck to their routine and headed on to the next place - Emily protesting enough for Oacar to promise they'd find a spot and settle in. She was done with moving and she was more than hopeful she wouldn't have to anymore. It was our luck they'd found this place. Even luckier that Zach came along with it.

"Fingers crossed," she said with a soft smile, momentarily showing that her fingers were in fact crossed. "Hmm. I don't know about that," she went on, taking another bite. "It's kind of nice having another game nerd around. Oscar has no clue about any of that, so when I talk about it, it sort of falls on deaf ears. I like that you know your stuff. I kind of like it," she teased her brother through the compliment, the subliminal denial of ever needing a break from him only gently hidden.

She would have a hard time losing one of them, but the added threat of raiders meant she could very well lose both of them. She wouldn't recover from that kind of devastation. And thinking about it only made things worse. So she kept a chokehold on her hope for their safe return. It was the only thing she could do to keep from falling apart over the 'what ifs' of their run.

"Yea. Don't worry about that. I don't trust too many people anymore, but Charlie and Rosie seem ok for sure. Charlie is super sweet and - a little juicy gossip before you go - I think my brother might like her a little, so he trusts her. Which means I trust her. But I'm trill trying to get on Rosie's good side so she'll let me help in the diner. I fucking miss cooking so much. I don't even care if it's toast. I just want to make something other than beans in a can," she said with a soft chuckle. "Maybe a satisfied customer could put in a good word for me," she said playfully with a gentle nudge. "In all seriousness, I know I'll be fine. It just...you know...sucks. That's all, " she admitted with a nervous huff and a shrug, picking at her eggs.

Emily's worry had been growing rapidly since Oscar told her he was about to set out on a rescue mission. It got even worse when Zach said he too would be joining them. The two most important people at The Wexley were leaving and ahw couldn't help but fear their trip would end up leaving her all alone. But she'd become adept at burying the panic, unwilling to allow her anxiety to weigh down anyone but herself, and she'd gladly welcomed the offer of breakfast with Zach - even though her mind fought to convince her it would be their last one together.

"Don't worry. I'll keep him company," she assured him as she carried their to-go meals, following him toward the gazebo. "Besides, didn't the dog die in Mad Max? He's much safer here with me," she joked before she realized the implications of her statement.

Heat flushed her cheeks with embarrassment. Good going idiot. What a way to cheer him up. "Sorry. I didn't mean...I just..." she said trying to back pedal, handing him his food. She took the ball from Doom when he brought it back and threw it again for him. "He's probably a great battle buddy," she said forcing herself past her usual rambling spiral, taking a bite of food to further stop her mouth.

"How long do you think you guys'll be out there?" she asked, stepping further from her faux paus, finally taking a bite of her eggs. "I can't lie. It's going to be pretty boring without you and Oscar here," she added only half-joking. "I'm gonna miss you," she admitted, leaving it vague enough to include Oscar if it was too weird for Zach to be him that she missed.

[kozu-chan]

synopsis: keeping up with a society that expects you to be perfect is exhausting in every way possible. you're lucky enough to have found someone who relates to navigate this brutal world with.

content warnings: fem! reader, cursing, insults, bullying if you squint, mentions of insecurity, a bit of fighting, mentions of mental health, and sakusa might be ooc but that's just to make the arguments a little more dramatic.

sour masterlist

growing up, you were a perfectionist. although this wasn't necessarily your fault, was it? at the young age of four, your parents discovered that you were, and maybe still are, gifted with talent for music. this led to years of guitar, piano, violin, flute, singing, and even harp lessons. throughout the years, you went through many concerts and hours upon hours of practicing your various instruments. this led you to attend the infamous itachiyama academy in high school and that was only the beginning of your troubles.

as a perfectionist, you dedicate yourself not only to your music, but to your studies as well. sadly, even you can't manage to balance school, music, sleep, and a social life and one of those things have to give due to your busy schedule, so you sacrifice your social life. sometimes you think that this was the wrong move because that just makes high school practically a living hell for you. that is, until about a week ago.

last week, you had a regular morning. you walk through the halls of your school and people do their best to avoid you, to not get in your way. however, that doesn't stop them from gossiping about you. "wow look at l/n. little miss perfect." "i dare you to talk to her!" "she's such an ice cold perfectionist." "i could never be friends with her. she's too serious." "does this bitch even have a life?" you ignore the comments as you make your way to your first class. sometimes you just want to yell at them to stop talking about you. to tell them how much it hurts you and how being such a perfectionist is exhausting. to let them know that their comments only add to how lowly you think of yourself. that you wish that you had even one friend because you feel so alone.

after school, you spend hours in the music room practicing a song you were thinking of performing, something self-written as a way of releasing your emotions. and once you think your practice is sufficient, you curl up against the wall and cry.

once your crying session is done, you get up and walk back to your dorm. on the way back, you see someone in the gym do an insane serve that slams down that just barely makes it in. you hear a groan of frustration followed by the oh so familiar sound of breath getting shaky due to crying. your gaze follows the sound to see the figure on the floor crying and your breath gets caught in your throat when you realize it's not just any player, but one of the top three aces in japan, sakusa kiyoomi.

"sakusa-san?" sakusa looks at you with what looks like a bit of fear but anger replaces his expression before you could confirm your suspicions. "what the fuck are you doing here? this is a private practice." his tone is cold, firm, and piercing. you could feel a chill run down your spine, but you ignore the feeling because other people, especially your parents, have been on the receiving end on your own tone that sounds just as menacing. the only indicator of crying being the red, slightly watery eyes that you can't help but sympathize with. "what are you staring at?" you snap out of your thoughts to respond to him. "i saw you on my way back to my room. i just happened to see you crying and i-"

sakusa sighs again in frustration. "and you what? just shut up and leave me alone!" "i just know what it's like, okay? you really think that you're the only one who's tired of not feeling good enough? the only one who's cried because you just want to get better but you don't see any improvement no matter how much you practice?" your voice is loud and yet on the verge of tears. you glace at sakusa, who now looks angrier but you don't care. "so sue me if i come off as a ice cold bitch who doesn't talk to anyone because i do anything and everything i can to be perfect even if i always fall short and sue me for sympathizing with you."

the room grows quiet, save for the sounds of your shaky breathing as you try your best to calm down before you actually start breaking down in front of him. it takes another few seconds before sakusa stands up and walks up to you. "l/n, right? yeah well you don't know me and you should just get out of my sight. you shouldn't be trying to get someone to stop crying if you're just going to cry yourself. just relax more." relax more? "that's rich coming from you." you're no longer crying and sakusa stops in his tracks.

"you're telling me to relax more when you don't seem to have any chill... ever. and let's not forget that your crying was what brought into the gym in the first place." you take a deep breath to calm yourself. "so... the gym is like your safe space, right?" sakusa doesn't answer, clearly exasperated and silently begging you to leave. "c'mon, sakusa-san! you can tell me!" you smile a little when he opens his mouth to talk, only to be disappointed by his response. "god, you're such an annoying bitch. go find someone else to bother!" you're disappointed but you're also persistent. after all, you are the one that figures out and teaches all the schoolwork you struggle with to yourself. "if it makes you feel better..." you sigh quietly and contemplate whether or not it was a good idea to expose yourself this much to someone you just started talking to. "if it makes you feel better, my room and the music rooms are my safe spaces." "it really doesn't. if anything, it just makes me feel even more pathetic!" a small smirk graces your features as you realize that you got him. "so this is your safe space? i didn't hear a denial!" sakusa rolls his eyes. "would you shut up already" "not until you admit it." he glares at you and you just look him dead in the eye, causing him to break (probably so you would shut up as he thinks you'll do if he admits it). "fine... the gym is my safe space... that you're encroaching on." you back away slightly because he was right. and you know that you would also be pissed as fuck if someone encroached on your safe space, especially while you were crying. "i'm sorry, i just wanted to help. but, maybe we could be each other's safe spaces?"

you mentally sigh in relief as sakusa looks just the slightest bit more comfortable upon hearing that. "i mean, you know what it's like so... i guess i wouldn't be opposed to that." the two of you give each other a small smile as you sit down a good length away from him. "god, it's brutal out here, huh?" sakusa lets out a small laugh and agrees.

"sakusa, are you really gonna go pro like they say you are?" sakusa looks at you for a second and nods. you even notice his eyes lighting up a little. "yeah, that's what i want. it's what i've wanted for as long as i could remember. i wouldn't work so hard for it and get so dirty if it wasn't my dream... what about you? are you going to become a musician?" now it's your turn to pause. you freeze up. it's been so long since someone's asked you what you wanted. "i... honestly? i don't know what i want anymore. it's been so long since i've been asked what i wanted. it's been so long since someone's seen me outside of the "little miss perfect" that everyone else sees... i don't know." you take a moment to recollect your thoughts. "i just hate the thought of disappointing people that i think i've lost myself in the process. i've been pursuing music for so long that it's familiar, it's instinct, and i can't see myself doing anything else because i haven't done anything else..." your voice gets quieter as you speak. this is the first time you've ever gotten a chance to voice out your thoughts to someone and your own revelations shock you.

"yeah, i think i'm getting there too. losing myself to satisfy everyone while trying to stay true to myself. after all, who am i if not exploited?" it takes a minute to digest the words that were so simple and yet so powerful, the six words that could be used to summarize your entire life. "it sucks, doesn't it? like all i did was try my best, and this is the kind of thanks i get? annoyance and isolation? awards and acknowledges of achievement but at what cost? my social life? my mental health? ... my identity?" sakusa looks like he's going to say something but you shoot him a look and his mouth closes to let you continue. "it's literally so fucking stupid! there's literally no actual reward for me anymore, nothing satisfying. it's all worthless - meaningless, even. sometimes i wish i could disappear..."

a small breath is sucked up and you turn to sakusa. "sorry that was heavy. i've just never had someone to talk to about this. at least not properly."

"i get it. i haven't really had a lot of people to talk to either. at least not that honestly. i'm glad we have each other now, because you were right. it is brutal out here and it's good that we can stick together now."

after that, no one really bothered you anymore and it was all thanks to your new friend and confidant.

a/n: sheesh this is one of the longest things i've written. i really hope you like it and i'm really sorry that i suck at endings!!

[kuronanox]

Not enough - Byakuya Kuchiki

It amazed her that thee Kuchiki Byakuya was actually interested in her, it was so surreal. Everything came naturally, their conversations and body language was like they were in tune together. Everyone could see that he was finally finding some type of peace after hisana's passing. Everyone but the royal and noble housing even after hisana's passing they blame it on her being a commoner and now the horrible treatment was getting thrown at (Your Name) now.

No one has ever verbally abused her infront of Byakuya but when he was gone they talked down and degraded her. She would just ignore them and go on about her day. The first few months  were fine because no one knew they were dating but once the relationship started getting serious and she moved into the Kuchiki manor the negative comments came left and right into her head. Of course she didn't tell Byakuya and most of the time she stayed closed to him so she wouldn't have to hear the abusing comments.

It was another fall morning as they strolled around the manor getting fresh air. "What is your favorite season (Your Name)." Byakuya ask calmly as they walked side by side admiring the green plants and flowers turning a beautiful autumn red. "Hmm the time between fall and winter, it's never to cold or hot!" She smiles and grabs his arm gently as she hugs it as they continue striding around the manor. Of course as nobles showing affection wasn't allowed but she didn't care and as long as she was happy Byakuya didn't mind the gesture either. "I see." He replies as it turns to a comfortable silence between them.

"Have you talked to rukia recently?" She brings up looking at him now with worried eyes. "Of course, she's doing fine with the human substitute shinigami in the world of living right now." He answers reassuring her their relationship as gotten better by time.

"Hmm someone has gotten soft." She jokes and squeezes him tightly as he eyes widen a little bit and he softly smiles without her knowing of course, but the hug gets cut short as she sees a few elders walking towards them as she quickly pulls away from the affection and awkwardly bow and stays behind Byakuya. The elders speak to him about important matters about the Kuchiki house and he exchanges a few words. Byakuya looks at (Your Name) and he recently began to notice that her reitsu would fluctuate everytime she was around a royal or noble that didn't allow their relationship. Cutting the conversation short he gently grabs her hands with his and walks past the elders.

She looks at their hands and blushes softly. This was the first time he had ever showed affection towards her infront of anyone. "I'm sorry you don't have to do that... you know. I know the nobles don't like it." She starts loosening her grip now as his tighten. "When has that ever stopped you?" He asks now curious.

Byakuya knew she was always a loud mouth and her manners were certainly not presentable to other nobles. She liked to show her curves, didn't like wearing fancy clothes, did her own chores and curses a whole bunch, but for some reason that made him like her even more when they first met each other. Byakuya liked her because she possessed all the qualities he didn't have or wasn't allowed to do because it was unacceptable for the head of the clan to have.

"I know it's just, I don't want people to talk... you know." She sadly says and walks ahead a few steps before he silently follows her. "Oh I'm going out with Matsumoto tonight, girls night!" She smiles now changing the mood between them now.

"YEAH AND THEN THE OLD BITCH HAD THE NERVE TO TELL ME THAT I WAS FAT AND MY FACE WAS TO BIG! AND IM LIKE AT LEAST IM NOT WALKING CLOSER TO MY GRAVE EACH DAY!" (Your Name) screams to Matsumoto, Nanao and Hinamori.

"She didn't!" Hinamori exclaims covering her mouth like a gossip girl.

"She did honey!"

"Ugh nobles, thats why you gotta go for the ugly guys and then you make them hot." Matsumoto shakes her head and pours another shots for them. Nanao facepalms and says "Everytime we meet up they always have something negative to say, why not just tell Kuchiki taicho?"

"Fuck that, I'm so tired of having to filter myself at the manor too! LIKE I WANT TO SCREAM FUCK, SHIT, BITCH BUT I CANT!"

Hinamori just laughs as Matsumoto takes the shot and nods furiously!

"Jesus." Nanao says just giving up.

"But you do anything for the one you love." (Your Name) softly says taking shot number 7. "Same." Matsumoto sulks as they both start crying together.

"So I'm guessing we are walking them home again." Nanao says as Hinamori just happily pour more shots for the two girls sulking across from her.

(Your name) safely gets back to the manor with the help of Hinamori, she was drunk but she was still able to recognize and act like she was normal. "Will Kuchiki taicho be upset that you drank a lot?"

"Nah, he's probably asleep anyways, thank you I'll take my leave now!" She smiles and gets into the manor.

Although it was hard to act sober she took her time to walk into their bedroom. There were still some maids and servants doing some choirs so she avoided them at all cost so she didn't look like a fool to them and ruin Byakuya image. Turning the corner to their room one of the oldest head maid was taking out the tea pot from the place.

"Drunk again I see." She sternly says with hatred in her eyes as (Your Name) just ignores the comment and proceeds to go into the room. The old lady prohibits her from entering. "You won't go in."

"Move or I'll move you myself." (Your Name) threaten to the lady as she doesn't bulge.

"You are only here because Byakuya Sama allows you to stay, but to everyone else in this house you bring disgrace and tarnish our name. You are a vulgar lady with no manners and inconsiderate, rude and foul mouth."

Byakuya stirs in his sleep waking up from talking coming out from infront of his room.

"And? I'm a hundred percent sure he knows how I am already, why do you care how I am. Yes I'm a commoner-" (Your Name) proceeds to argue but the older maids interrupts with a statement that broke her self confidence.

"At least Hisana Sama didn't go around and tarnish the name, she was lady like and knew how to contain herself unlike you."

(Your Name) hesitantly eyes widen she was sadden, no one had ever talked about Hisana. Behind closed door she was always being compared, she knew but no one was going to compare (Your Name) to another person let alone a past lover.

"You know, I get we are two different person but I'm sure she wouldn't have approve of you talking down about commoners because we know the struggle of having to act perfect all the time and keeping a imagine so we don't look bad for the family name. You wouldn't know old lady because you've never been discriminated. I know damn well everyday we tried our best for Byakuya and I'm glad she is in a better place and not down here where she would have still gotten the same treatment as me."

Byakuya had enough of the arguing as he swiftly gets out of the futon and towards the door before he stops when he hears (Your Name) continuing to defend him.

"If you ever wonder why Byakuya always act so cold is probably because he has to act perfect for the family and he carries the burden of our imagine and you guys give him shit for every little thing he does but he sucks it up because he was taught to. You guys don't see the sleepless nights he gets and the fights he put up to protect his people he loves. I won't stand here letting you talk down about me and his relationship when he has been the happiest since the death of his late wife. I won't let you take away his happiness. You guys think you know him but y'all don't know a thing. Weather you like it or not I'm leaving." (Your Name) passionately says to the old women as she angrily spoke up.

"You jus-"

Byakuya roughly opens the door to see a flushed (Your Name) and the head maid standing face to face. The maid not allowing her to enter the room. "That's enough, leave now." He harshly tells the head maid as she bows and apologize as she gives a sour look towards the girl before leaving.

There was an awkward silence in the air as she looks down and speaks. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be talking to the elders like that. I just got frustrated. I'll sleep at Matsumoto place tonight." She offered proceeding to walk away.

Byakuya grabs her hands and place them with his as he kisses her forehead and pulls her into a hug. "Why haven't you told me anything?" He asks as she calmly hugs him back and tears fall down. "You know I would have said something if you would have just communicate to me."

(Your Name) doesn't say anything as he rubs her back and leads her into bed with him. "I fell in love with you because of how you are, you don't have to act anymore." He proceeds to says as she gently nods.

Byakuya softly smiles and kisses her forehead again. "We deal with this together my love."

[ella-cooper]

"Okay first of all, Gossip Girl was not trashy, it was high art thank you very much. What Blake Lively and Leighton Meester did for white women everywhere should really be studied," they replied through their laughter. "And like it birthed so many memes. Go Piss Girl is top tier." Ella shrugged, having no idea who the guy was."Not gonna lie, did not know there was a white Dante roaming around these parts but I am surprised every single day. Apparently he's a lawyer, I googled him last night. Which like who the fuck cares about a lawyer? Someone apparently. They care enough to pull all this Mission Impossible shit. Wait which chick? There were a lot of powerful and hot ladies there I don't know which one you're talking about." They flipped onto their stomach to grab the ashtray and some of the snacks they left on the side. "Kind of sucks we can't just have a good party without people trying to play fucking Call of Duty. Makes me want to throw a non lounge party. Like just a house party or some shit. At someone else's house, obviously. Just good all drunk and high fun, yanno? I haven't had a sexy messy night in like..three weeks. Thats a new record for me, honestly."

Maeve scoffed, the smoke curling from her lips like her disdain for the high school dramatics. "We're living a real-life episode of some trashy CW drama - Like Gossip Girl or some shit." She took a lazy drag, letting the smoke fill her lungs with a sharpness that matched her tone. "Dante Parker," She exhaled the name along with a plume of smoke, her expression one of mock curiosity. "Who the hell's that supposed to be anyway?" She slumped back into the fortress of pillows, an island of comfort in a sea of bullshit, and shot a pointed look at Ella, "I'm tellin' you, it's the gala chick, the one playing queen bee of the whole circus. She's definitely fuckin' someone that ain't her husband."

[thatwriterkei]

-Moment of Tangency-

Series Summary: When Y/N's favorite fictional characters come to life, a mystery ensues as a killer wreaks havoc in Bangor, Maine.

~

Chapter Summary: What started out as a sleepover with your best friend turned into a night of unexplainable events.

Warnings: cursing, underage pining if you squint, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Here's the first chapter of the big series I was talking about! I really hope you guys enjoy this, I've been working on this for about a month and it would mean the world to me if you have feedback and brought attention to this to those who would enjoy it too! I'm really excited to see how this goes.

~

Main Masterlist

MOT Masterlist

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_________________

Chapter One: The Beginning

"You will soon receive support from an unexpected source.." 

The red letters of your fortune stared back at you ominously.

"Hey, that's great timing huh?"

"Too soon, Marcus..Too soon."

A sheepish smile formed on his freckled face, "Sorry..Here, have another."

You shook your head, waving away the cookie. "I'll just stick to mine. I only have a little bit of room left for it." 

You took small bites, slowly indulging in the delicious treat, afraid of letting it go to waste with just two or three bites.

"I'm surprised your dad let me spend the night."

"Honestly, me too..I don't think he noticed that you're in the middle of transitioning."

"He probably just thinks I'm gay or something.."

You let out a choked laugh, "Maybe because you are."

"Hey, you can't tell me that Mr. Fisher isn't hot as fuck!"

"He isn't, oh my god!" You tried to finish the rest of your cookie without inhaling crumbs, suppressing the laughter building in your stomach.

"Have you seen his hands?! Y/N, I don't think you understand how much I adore him!"

"He's 20, Marcus!! Not to mention, he sucks at teaching physics."

"Hey, I didn't say my future man had to be smart."

"You're ridiculous."

"Yes, yes I am. Oh! Speaking of guys, any good gossip for the ship of a century?"

You could help but roll your eyes at his teasing, blood rushing to the apples of your cheeks.

"Kolby and I haven't spoken since last week. I don't think he likes me anyway. He's been talking to Heather more recently.." 

And, for some reason, you weren't too interested in him either. Yes, he was a nice looking, athletic guy but you just didn't care enough to go further than a 'hi, how're you?' with him.

"Well, his loss. You're a wonderful girl and it's a shame he's wasting your time with his boyish nonsense. Besides, he doesn't even wear watches like Mr. Fisher."

"I swear to god, if you mention him or watches one more time.."

"You're right, sorry," he held up his hands defensively before putting them down, "I just don't wanna see you get hurt, Y/N/N.."

"I know you're worried, Marcus, but I'm fine. It's our junior year, I don't think long-term relationships are supposed to happen for us until we're in like college."

"You never know..Anyway, what do you even see in him?"

You let out a sigh, sinking in the mounds of pillows and blankets that are laid astray on your bed.

"Umm..He's cute, without a doubt. His jokes are sometimes funny, depends on who he's around. He has a nice sense of style, I guess? I don't know..We've only known each other for a little over two months."

Marcus laid beside you, rolling to his side with a dopey grin plastered on his pale face. "And a lot could happen in two more months if you just talk to him. I promise, I won't even bother you in Algebra..Okay? Just trust me on this.."

You groaned but, nevertheless, agreed with a silent nod.

"Love shouldn't be this complicated.."

"Sometimes it is, sweetie..But only time can lead you to where you're supposed to be.."

"Yeah, I know...Since when did you become my therapist?" You let out a scoff.

"Since third grade! Now, c'mon, get off your lazy ass and let's do something cool!" 

He pulled at your limp arm once he stood up, dragging you to the floor and down the hallway towards the mini library your stepmom installed about a year ago; who has yet to use it.

"If you were looking for 'cool', you brought us to the wrong place." 

Your eyes scanned over the bookshelves, catching titles of famous works.

To Kill a Mockingbird

The Great Gatsby

War and Peace

Charlotte's Web

"You only have that perception because you hate her."

"Of course! Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, but this is still cool! You should take advantage of it while you can." 

Marcus released his hold from your ankle, scampering over to the section of the library where a red and white book was gleaming for attention.

"Oh my god! Miranda got the newest edition of IT?"

You stood up abruptly and made your way over. "She got what?!" 

"Holy shit, this is amazing! We haven't fangirled over this book since freshmen year."

"Oh yeah, our biggest obsession since One Direction." You laughed, taking the book out of his hands and running your finger over the textured title.

"Not gonna lie, the older cover looked better."

You rolled your eyes and ushered him over to the desk in the middle of the room. "Wait, let's see if they kept in that one part.."

"Which one? Does it have to do with Stanley? You had a major crush on his fictional ass." He teased, pulling up another chair beside yours.

"No no no, the one with Eddie and-Oh, I found it!"

Man, he had hated it when Richie called him Eds…but he had sort of liked it, too. It was something….like a secret name. A secret identity. A way to be people that had nothing to do with their parents’ fears, hopes, constant demands. Richie couldn’t do his beloved Voices for shit, but maybe he did know how important it was to creeps like them to sometimes be different people.

"Oh, I absolutely love this part..It's just, mwah, beautiful. Stephen King certainly knew what he was doing.."

"C'mon, let's go back to my room and reminisce." You took his arm and pulled him back to your bedroom.

~

You internally screamed at Marcus's onslaught recollection of memories.

"Oh, and that one time when you had a major attraction for-"

"Okay okay, that's enough reminiscing!!" You tossed the book at him.

"Aww, what? Feelin' embarrassed, sweetie?" He barely dodged the book, letting it bounce off your bed and onto the ground with a dull thud.

"Shut up.." You grabbed the nearest pillow and slightly smothered yourself with it.

The memories he continued to bring up brought back some nostalgia but looking back at it now made you cringe. You were practically grown up now, not 15 years old. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. But wouldn't it be cool if the losers club was real? Like actually around, in real life? Derry was based off of Bangor so it's more than likely you could find your own Stanley Uris." 

You cracked a smile at that and threw the pillow at him, situating yourself underneath the covers of your bed. "Yeah, yeah. I wish."

Marcus promptly pulled out his phone and checked the time, turning it over towards you  and flashing the bright light in your face. "Well, it's almost 11:11..Make a wish!"

"Seriously?" You deadpanned.

"C'mon, it wouldn't hurt!"

You sighed, sitting up on your elbows and closing your eyes. "Tell me when. You wish it too, okay?"

"Okay," some time passed, "now."

I wish the losers club was real..The entire gang. Every single one of them.

I wish I could blow Bill Denbrough.

You opened your eyes after you recited your wish a couple of times, sighing. You raised an eyebrow at Marcus, seeing him struggle to contain his laughter though the crimson red covering every inch of his face gave it away.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I wished that I could blow Bill."

"Goddamnit, Marc."

~

It took about a half hour before the two of you could fully relax into a deep sleep but once you guys did, Marcus took up most of the bed. 

A heavy gush of wind pushed open your window, the cool air from outside blowing into your room. You snuggled a little more under the covers, face being buried into someone's back. They smelled so nice, a light hazelnut scent and freshly washed hair that reminded you of late night drives with your older cousin when you were younger; Just absolute nostalgia exuded from them. You felt your entire body relax against theirs, the warmth overtaking your slightly exposed skin from the nippy air coming through the window.

You hear a quiet groan from the opposite side of you, the noise causing you to stir from whatever you were dreaming about prior; It was a bit fuzzy.

"What the fuck? Dumbass window.." It was just Marcus.

You felt the weight from the bed disappear, his dull footsteps moving around the carpeted room as he shuts the window.

He turns around and gives one look over the room, his eyes partially open. He sees a couple of people in the room, the sight confusing him in his drowsy state.

"What the..?"

A mix of someone screaming bloody murder and a smoke alarm going off floods the room, echoing off the walls and throughout the house. Even Marcus wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors heard him too.

It takes just a few seconds before your sleeping mind can process the screeching, thus causing you to flip over to your other side and turning on the lamp. Your eyes are piercing with annoyance, though you were still a little concerned about your astonished friend across the room.

"Marc, what the hell?! What's wrong? What happened?"

You cast a glance around your room, trying to pick the oddball out.

"What the hell?!" You hear from behind you, the sudden noise alarming you and making you jump off the bed towards the ground. 

Your head whipped around so quickly you were sure it was the dizziness that made your imagination run wild from the sight. There laid a guy, around your age, with very curly light brown hair that just looked absolutely divine to twirl your fingers around.

Underneath you comes a strangled groan, almost upon impact. Looking below, you find a girl with fiery red hair in a bob style. You push yourself off of her and scoot away until your back hits Marcus's legs.

"Who the fuck is yelling-Oh, holy shit..!" You hear another slightly deep voice exclaim. 

Turning to your right sat five other guys with drastically different appearances, one after another coming to the realization that they had no fucking clue where they were.

The room grew quiet, fear growing in your eyes as you try to find a person to focus on but the thought only made you even more dizzy than before.

_________________

Let me know if you wanna be tagged for future chapters!! 💖

-Moment of Tangency- tags: @beauregard-s @demoniclust @deepestofwaters @grapesauze @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @soulwillower @19tozier @phrogtheguitarist @kindofokayimagines @stenbrozier @stenbrozier @brxken-heartsclub @fucking-greywater @theliterarymess

[silver-wield]

About your Aerith post... i have to confess that her behavior triggered my anxiety so i really dislike her. I remember in the OG i never cared about her, i dont know why in my 10 year old mind she was *mean*, but now I am almost 30 and in this remake i just... can't stand her, i guess is because i have bad experiecies with people like her, so i don't see that as just a minor flaw, but a big RED flag

i felt bad for Cloud, because I suck in that part and like him i was muttering please don't hear me and that was a really bad expierence *to me*, (i know people love her and that doesn’t bother me, i am not like those crazy antis who can’t stand people who like Tifa or Jessie more than Aerith), i had to quit the game for a few hours… i know it seems like a really extreme reaction, but it just hit me harder than expected.

It's not the first time I've brought this up with her behaviour, but what's interesting is the first time I did it I got called toxic and was told "that's an extremist way to view an OG canon scene". Well, I'm sorry, but actually it's not because that's what happens, and just because in the OG it wasn't as explicit that Cloud was sneaking out and people didn't understand it was because he wanted to leave, that's their damn problem.

It's funny how a couple of months later those same people who were saying my take on it was wrong are now saying Aerith's behaviour is problematic and it's a triggering scene for people who understand abusive situations.

I'm used to being ahead of the curve though lol

I didn't care about OG Aerith either when I played. She just rubbed me the wrong way acting all weak and pathetic and then tormenting Tifa, who'd done nothing to deserve it. Maybe the translation was just bad, but Aerith doesn't come across as a nice person in it and I couldn't see why people said Cloud "loves" her. Pity, I got. Like, during the cosmo canyon bit, he feels sorry for her after hearing her history and because he's an awkward dork he tries to comfort her. But I really didn't care about shipping back then, so I wasn't looking at it as a pt scoring thing where his every word is microanalysed as proof he loves one girl more than the other. I just assumed when I saw the lifestream scene and HW that he's in love with Tifa. I still don't see why people argue and act like the choices they made to fuck with the narrative of real Cloud mean they were right. They weren't right. Because if they were the HW wouldn't exist at all. It'd be the high affection or no HW if player choice mattered. But all they did was make Tifa too reluctant to share her feelings. It didn't change Cloud's feelings because he's there either way.

I'm glad the devs showed from Cloud's pov just how bad this bit is. He can't leave because he needs directions home and Aerith isn't giving them over and Elmyra already decided they should wait for morning, even though she changes her mind later. The fact he asks for directions proves that's why he stuck around, along with him not wanting Aerith to spread gossip about him taking a date for his services. Reno already called him weird for it and if it got back to the people who mattered to him that he did this his reputation would be ruined. That's why he stays. And then after he gets directions there's no hesitation. He leaves. He agrees when Elmyra asks him not to see Aerith again. It's not like with Tifa when her father told him to stay away, because there's clear hints he still sees her. Why did she go to the water tower dressed like that if an almost stranger called her out? She says "what did you want to talk about?" in a way that suggests they talk often enough for her not to find it strange.

The only reason Cloud let Aerith go with him after she ambushes him at the exit is because she looked upset. She has tears in her eyes and he makes this yeesh face after he agrees. Because he's a good guy and, even after everything she put him through that day, is guessing she has issues, so humouring her can't hurt. Then she leads him through a dangerous route, despite knowing there's a safer, quicker one, and then she makes him feel bad for not high fiving her, and reminds him of Zack with things she says and then refuses to listen to him when he says no, he wants to leave. It's really only after she mentions a boyfriend that he eases up on his guard and switches posture, then when she says Zack's name he possibly got a trigger from real Cloud telling him to stop being such a dick to his best friend's girl. But then she's an afterthought the second he sees Tifa, which shows who he really cares about in a romantic sense.

It's not anti to call out a character's canon toxic behaviour when there's literally proof of it in game that we can screenshot.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [some gossip about him that could either be a bit true or totally hilariously not] Jac: when were you gonna tell me, like? Jesse: 👎 Jac: That's what you would say now you've been found out Jac: I 👀 Jesse: not to you Jac: Hmm Jac: I look forward to getting the actual info to spread about then Jesse: you'll have a long wait, dickhead Jesse: be gone by then Jac: Where are you going? Jesse: be quicker to ✔ off where I ain't Jesse: fully booked, me Jac: No one likes a show-off 🙄😏 Jac: how busy are you now? Jesse: busy with a ☕ Jesse: you alright? Jac: Yeah, I'm good Jac: I'm just getting ready for when I go on my own one-stop tour Jac: so when you've got a minute between ☕s maybe we can talk Jesse: go on Jac: You sure? Jac: not trying to be that customer that can't take a hint Jesse: you heard Jesse: don't need to be the customer pissing about when I'm trying to close up Jesse: you're fine to crack on Jac: alright, understood Jac: I won't nurse my ☕ and order a 2nd with five minutes to go Jac: I don't know how to start what I wanna say, helpful, I know Jesse: I ain't put a ⏲ on Jesse: take a bit if you need Jac: I mean, you put me on the 🕔 a bit but I'll just ignore you when you put up the chairs around me 💁 Jac: There's a lot of stuff I don't wanna leave left unsaid Jac: well, a lot of me does wanna leave it and I know a lot of you probably ain't gonna thank me for it either but I don't think I SHOULD leave some of it, the way it has been Jesse: alright Jac: fuck's sake Jac: okay, do you want the apology, the thanks, or the reasons Jac: because I can do them all but you know, pick your fave or least so we can get it out of the way, I don't know Jesse: can you even have a sorry or thanks without the why bit? Jesse: if I dunno what you're sorry for or saying tah for, not getting very far, like Jac: since you've not actually got me a drink, you've got some idea Jac: but okay, I hear reasons loud and clear, no need to be so coy Jac: you know why I need to say thank you Jac: that's more apparent, and easier Jac: and I didn't just pick you because I had no one else, I still could've made mum do it all with me or nan Jac: I wouldn't have picked anyone else, anyway, which sucks for you but yeah, you stepped up and I wasn't appropriately grateful at the time, or close, so I'll say it now Jac: thanks Jesse: you weren't ready to tell her, I get that, that's why I did Jesse: and it weren't like I did it for a tah Jac: no, I know Jac: but I should still say it now, I wanna Jac: it was still shit, and is always gonna be a shit thing that happened to me but you took a bit of it on, and that counts Jesse: you can have one back, tah for not dying, that worried me for a bit there Jac: I still don't feel like I was ever that reckless, like, I know how that sounds, and obviously the baby was a wake-up call that it had gone TOO far, even for my standards Jac: but under normal circumstances, I would've protected you from that, cared to and I didn't, so that's a sorry too Jesse: it was shit scary, the baby bit especially, but that's why I weren't gonna just leave you to it Jac: I thought I had a handle on the rest, but yeah, I should probably let that idea go since what does that matter given what happened Jac: you could've, and I wanted you to, so sorry/thanks again Jac: that's the least eloquent way I can put it Jesse: if it makes it less of a headfuck for you, reckoning that you had it sorted, you can have it Jesse: I don't mind Jesse: but you ain't ever getting me turning my back however much you want it Jac: I don't know, I was doing reckless, destructive things, but I never thought I was going to die Jac: accidents happen though, so, maybe I can accept now that I was tempting shit back then Jac: I don't want it now, and I did want that less as the year went on Jac: but I'm aware it's shit I ever did, that that must've been, well Jesse: what happened to Is was proper raw for all of us back then, probably put me on edge about you more than it would've done Jac: Yeah Jac: it was so right after, I know that's what mum and dad thought Jesse: we've all thought all kinds of shit Jesse: Jude's said loads of it to me before now, like I can give her an answer ✔ or ❌ Jac: and I deserve to live with the consequences of just letting you all speculate Jac: I really know that, and I'm gonna talk to everyone and you can all say or not say whatever you want to me, it's all fair Jesse: we've all lived Jac: that don't mean it's alright Jac: or I ever reckoned it was Jac: I knew it weren't Jac: and again, that makes it less okay Jesse: you weren't alright, none of us were big enough dickheads not to work that out, even her Jac: Obviously Jac: but the point is, you can hold me accountable now and it won't be a waste of time, you know Jesse: you've been a prick, me an' all loads of times, we both will be again in a bit Jac: it's a bit more than that Jac: come on, don't insult me like you reckon I was like that before Jesse: yeah Jesse: but I ain't gonna bother to hold it against you til you actually do 💀 Jac: that's weird Jac: leave your grudges 'til the grave Jesse: I mean I ain't bothering with any grudges Jac: Alright, hippie Jac: are you graciously accepting my apology and gratitude then or what? Jesse: I'll take it Jac: okay Jac: anything you wanna say? Jac: not last words or anything but if you can before you 💀 I'd appreciate it Jesse: you gonna say why then or what? Jac: It isn't as if it's just the one thing Jac: and now that I have to say, there's the fear that you're all gonna say it wasn't a good enough excuse and that's why I didn't say anything in the first place so Jac: let me work up to it Jesse: just call me a massive twat Jac: No, like, it was a lot Jac: and for what Jac: but it was logical at the time, and what I felt I had to do, whether that seems warranted or nah Jesse: I ain't gonna say you weren't 💔 enough for what you did Jesse: nowt to do with me Jac: You might not Jac: you might think it Jac: but I'm not gonna concoct some lie that makes it all seem worthwhile, can't be that bitch Jac: fake sob story Jesse: unless you're a 🧠📖 that don't matter Jac: I'm not used to gossip rags lying or chatting shit on me Jac: I don't wanna imagine that you think the worst of me, tah Jesse: you already have done Jesse: it weren't just us imagining all sorts, come on Jac: I really, on the whole, wasn't thinking about anyone else Jac: not to brag about it Jac: none of you anyway, it wasn't like I HAD to do that, but it also wasn't a choice, being that cunt, shutting you all out Jac: my 🧠 wouldn't Jesse: not offering you a 🏆 or owt Jesse: you've sorted your head out a bit now, if you wanna tell us Jac: I don't but like, I don't want you all thinking the worse now, when that doesn't need to be a thing Jac: We can't have mum and dad thinking I'm gonna go live some trainspotting fantasies in Edinburgh Jac: 'cos I can't have them making trips over all the time, obviously Jac: also, don't wanna bore you with every in and out, so hold on whilst I storyboard my fucking drama here Jesse: would be a pisstake Jac: It all started when Amelia stopped being friends with us Jac: I don't know if she told you fuck all, as you're such pals these days, but it wasn't just like, a natural drifting apart Jesse: it was 'cause she was in love with you Jesse: dunno if you knew that an' all Jac: yeah Jac: that was it Jac: there was a relatively big declaration and like, I wasn't a dick about it, I don't think Jac: but I didn't feel the same like that so that was enough Jesse: it would be, yeah Jac: so like, she was gone but obviously not I still saw her all the fucking time 'cos there's no escaping anyone in this town, and that was just awkward at first Jesse: obviously Jac: and it did kind of piss me off, that she seriously couldn't be my friend still Jac: but it wasn't all about that, there was the Savannah element of it for us both Jesse: 'course Jac: She was jealous of her, didn't like her, all that Jac: and I cared less, because I did have her Jac: and then the Isabelle thing happened Jac: and it all really got fucked up Jesse: she was proper gone Jac: who was? Jesse: Savannah Jac: Right Jac: but before that Jac: the guy Jac: with Isabelle Jac: we didn't know Jac: but we knew he was like, well we thought he was gross, a bit cringe Jac: so me and Sav set her up Jac: people weren't wrong blaming us, even though they got the situation wrong and they didn't know that, it was just between us Jac: that's why we ran away, and a big part of why she HAD to leave, even if her dad wasn't the most controlling person ever Jesse: what did you reckon would happen? with this lad and Is? Jac: just that...I don't even know now Jac: that she'd make out with him and we could take the piss out of her for it Jac: or he'd try it on and that would be funny because he was so gross Jac: not that he wouldn't take no for an answer, that was never what either of us had imagined Jac: but we still aided that situation, even if unknowingly Jesse: no shit you didn't imagine that Jac: fact was and is, if we weren't such shit friends to her Jac: he was still at the party, still could've Jac: but it might not have been her Jesse: I could have a go at you about how you should've been a more decent mate but it's nowt you don't already know Jac: Yeah Jac: feel free to but obviously that's a huge part of what I've been thinking on these past two years so, you don't have to, like Jac: and then, like you said, Sav left Jac: and I couldn't be friends with Isabelle and I couldn't be friends with Amelia and that was that Jesse: you could've said something to me Jac: I've only just been able to Jac: for ages, it was easier to keep blaming her, or say it would've happened anyway Jac: it was raw Jac: everyone was in shock, and I didn't wanna give a basis for the shit people were saying Jac: god knows how it would've been Jesse: alright Jesse: it was fucking bad enough, I remember Jesse: the bollocks people were saying Jac: not that I had to come out and make an announcement, but even if I'd tried to explain to Is, to apologize, she'd tell her new friends and then everyone would know and I'd be as bad as him Jac: worse for the betrayal Jac: I didn't wanna hack that on my own Jesse: or she'd tell her ma and that'd be Jesse: fucking hell Jac: right Jac: she'd probably call the police or something like they can lock me up Jac: and she knew I was a bad friend, Is, I mean Jac: she'd known we all were to her for a while Jac: but I am gonna talk to her, before I go Jesse: 💡🥇 Jac: I know I'm not dying but it's the first fresh start I've had Jac: any of us, even if someone doesn't wanna forgive me, at least they know the score, if nothing else Jac: and I know I've said what I should Jesse: I'm chuffed for you, mate Jesse: don't reckon I could be 💔 and get into a top uni Jac: you could write a top hit though Jesse: don't sound like me Jesse: but I'd probably give it a go if I were Jac: that's all it's about ain't it ❤ & 💔 Jesse: depends Jac: I've never heard a top 40 about... Jac: idk, mowing the grass Jac: doing your taxes Jac: it ain't the mundane Jesse: I'll write one for you if you're gonna be 💔 about it Jac: I think I'll survive, tah Jac: rather not read the speculation about who broke your heart 🤢 Jesse: 🍻 Jesse: you gonna have a word with Sav an' all? Jac: She's arguably one of the only people I didn't really screw over Jac: she got to go to a better school and get a new, rich pretty boyfriend and not deal with that whole backlash Jac: though I'm sure she feels her guilt for it too Jesse: but there's shit you wanna say that you didn't get to Jesse: half arsed fresh start if you don't Jac: I did say it Jac: well, did Jac: she knows Jac: I don't think there's anything to be gained for her or for me from that one Jesse: 👍 Jac: Not got an actual checklist of people to get through but you know Jac: close enough Jesse: make dad a ☕ all it takes to get in his good books Jac: good books is a stretch but not being on his must-constantly-check-in-on list myself will do for now so yeah, fair shout Jesse: yeah if you're well enough to put the kettle on and make a brew you're well enough to do owt Jac: parenting 101 Jac: ✅ Jesse: 🥇🏆 Jac: not serving it to him in a 🏆 Jac: laying it on a bit thick, I reckon Jesse: 🤏 Jac: Well, we're good then? Jac: not to 🕔 or anything Jesse: yeah Jac: yeah yeah or yeah, I guess Jesse: we're good Jac: Good Jac: if I'm not on my repentance tour, might see you when you get home then Jesse: might do Jac: yes very 😎 Jesse: 🤠

[the-mykie-show]

The Storm (Neganxreader)

When a storm blows Negan's cell door open you're the first thing he does.

Requested by @lokis-imaginary-friend

*Warnings* Negan's potty mouth, graphic descriptions of sex.

*Rating* explicit

You never understood why you needed a bodyguard to accompany you to deliver Negan’s food. Yes, you had heard the horrible things he had done, Rick had told you before you agreed to take the job of being his caretaker, but he was always a perfect gentleman to you. Well, despite the occasional lewd comment, the use of “fuck” as a coma in his vocabulary, and near constant dick jokes, but what else would you expect from a man who hadn’t gotten in laid in years? And he never threatened you, never even made you feel uncomfortable. Yet every time you went down to his cell, you had to be accompanied by whatever brawny man with a gun was available at the time.

You didn’t like it, you didn’t like the way they always stared at you like you had just slapped them in the face when you were actually nice to Negan.

Nobody else but you in the Alexandria Safe Zone was ever kind to Negan, they simply threw him food and water, and cleaned up after him twice a day and left him to his own devices for the rest of the day. Like he was some vicious stray dog, forgotten and unwanted, when really he was more like a lost puppy that got kicked to much and lashed out one to many times.

It made you sad for him, so you started talking with him, swapping stories, forming inside jokes, telling eachother things about yourselves that nobody else knew, and bringing him small gifts.

You would never forget the puzzled way Michonne looked at you when you had given Negan a small hanging plant.

Was it really so hard for these people to understand that he was a person too?

You always managed to separate yourself from your shadow at least once a week to just let Negan talk to someone without being handcuffed to bars, or having a gun on him. Those were the moments he was the most himself.

Those were the moments that you understood how he become a leader...and why five women all decided to marry him, he was charming, funny, and still somehow attractive despite having not had a proper shower in probaldy years.

He had a way of always putting you at ease and making you laugh.

You didn't even care that your relationship with Negan made you distrusted in your community and turned you into a popular subject of gossip.

You glance out your window and see that a storm is rolling in, the wind is picking up, and lightning illuminates the sky from dark clouds on the horizon. You wonder if you should go bring Negan an extra blanket, and offer to cover his window to keep the rain out.

You start to turn away from the window to make your way to the lienin closet when something catches your eye.

A figure standing in the corner of the window

Why would anyone be out in this storm?

Then you realize that it isn't a figure outside, it's a reflection from inside.

Your blood runs ice cold, someone is in your house. You reach for your hip where your gun would usually be only to remember you'd taken it off to settle in for the night. You're on your own, without even a weapon.

Too frightened to even turn around you watch as the figure advances on you, and slowly you begin to recognize the dark blue prison jumpsuit and close cropped dark hair. Your intruder is Negan.

He must've escaped the cell and come here. But why? What was he going to do to you? What had he already done to other members of the community who were responsible for putting him in the cell?

Your fight or flight response kicks in and you choose flight. You make a run for the kitchen, and manage to grab a knife from the island as you back into the corner against the counter.

Negan approaches the kitchen door, he looks confused.

“don't come any closer!” you order, branching the knife.

“Okay, okay I won't.” he assures you calmly, raising his hands in an effort to show he means you no harm.

“Why are you here?”

“Gabriel left my cell unlocked. The door blew open in the storm, you were the first person I thought to come to. I'm sorry I scared you.”

“Why would you come here? Why wouldn't you run?”

“I wanted to see you, you're the only person who doesn't want to see me dead in this hell hole.” looking in his eyes you can see his words are genuine.

“You haven't hurt anyone?” you ask.

“No, and I don't plan to. Least of all you.” you drop your knife on the counter top, and he sighs in relief dropping his hands to his sides. “I understand if you have to lock me up again but I had to see you, just once without bars between us or a gun to my head.” it's your turn to sigh in relief.

“You scared the living shit out of me!” you scold him and smack his shoulder.

He laughs a little “Sorry, it wasn't my intention but in hindsight I can see where sneaking into your house and creeping up on you like fucking Michael Myers wasn't my best idea.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock. I could've shot you!” you pause for a moment. “What's your plan now?”

“I don't know, didn't really have time to think about it.”

“You better think fast. You don't have long before they realize that you got out.” he looks shocked.

“You mean you aren't going to lock me back up.”

You shake your head “What you did all those years ago was fucked up, but you've served your sentence, you don't deserve to be in that cell anymore.” before you even know what's happening Negan's arms are around you, holding you tight.

“Thank you.” his voice breaks, and you can tell he's almost crying he's so grateful. You hug him back, and you know you're making the right decision by the way he leans into your touch. So starved of touch and affection this simple embrace is the greatest thing in the world to him.

“I wouldn't hurt you, ever, you know that right?” he whispers into your hair, kissing the top of your head.

“I do now.” he pulls back from the embrace slightly to look down at you, raising his hand to brush the side of your face, he's staring at you with longing in his eyes. You realize what he wants, and realize that you want it too, raising up on your toes you press your lips to his softly. Letting out a gasp of surprised pleasure he returns the kiss in full. One of his hands tangling in your hair, using the other against your back to pull you closer.

The kiss heats up quickly, and within minutes his tongue is exploring your mouth and his hands are on your ass, lifting you onto the counter top and then sliding under your shirt. You wrap your legs around his waist as his hands brush the underside of your breasts, moaning into your mouth when he feels you aren't wearing a bra.

You feel him grow hard between your legs, and you reach the buttons on his prison uniform, unsnapping them all at once and running your hands down the t-shirt underneath it.

He breaks the kiss. “wait a second… Do You really want this? I mean really? Not because you feel sorry for me, I don't you want you to give me anything of yourself out of pity.”

“I want this, I want to be with you even if it's just once.”

He nods and his hands go to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, you lean back on the countertop, while Negan takes in your body, his hands slowly sliding all over your bare torso, a sigh of pleasure slips between your lips when his fingers brush over your nipples. He suddenly pulls you off the countertop, plopping down in a bar stool with you between his legs, he pulls you to his body and his mouth finds your nipple, sucking the erect bud into his mouth. Moaning as his tongue swirls around it, you bite your lip to hold in your own moans as your hands grip his shoulders and grab at his hair.

“Goddamn you taste good.” he practically groans.

“Why don't we take this to the bedroom?”

“Fuck yeah!” you lead him to your bed, both of you stripping off your clothes as you go.

When you touch his chest you can feel every one of his ribs, you knew he didn't eat well, but you didn't realize he was this thin. You don't say anything, just lean back on the bed and let him pull off your panties.

His hands plant themselves firmly on the inside of your thighs and he spreads your legs staring at your body with pure lust in his eyes.

“You're so fucking beautiful, Y/N, inside and out.”

You grab him and roll you both over so you're on top without a word, you pull his boxers off, take his already hard cock in your hand. Pumping him slowly a few times. You're already more than wet enough, you grip him by the base and slide yourself down onto him. The he lets out a satisfied moan, as if he was experiencing this for the first time, his eyes fall closed as you start to ride him.

“Fuck! you feel good.”

Soft moans of pleasure falling from both your lips as you fuck yourself until you feel the coil of your orgasm building, his hips meeting yours every time.

“I can't hold off much longer.” he says through gritted teeth.

“I'm close too.” the coil snaps after a few more hard thrusts.

“Can I come inside you?” he asks breathlessly.

“Yes.” you moan, fucking yourself through your orgasm.

almost at the same time Negan lets out a deep moan and you feel him fill you up with hot spurts of come. Once he's finished you let his softening cock slip from your folds and flop down next to him.

“That was amazing,” he says, leaning over to press kisses up and down your neck “I never thought I'd feel a woman's touch again, let alone come in anything that isn't my own hand.” he kisses your lips softly “thank you, for not only this, but for your kindness.” you just nod and let him keep touching you.

“Damn your skins’ soft.” he touches you almost reverently, like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

The way he looks at you tells you this is about to be goodbye.

“You need to go, don't you.”

He nods. “I don't want to leave you, but I can't go back to that cell.”

“I know.” you touch his face and smile and softly.

And then you look into his eyes, and you see something that you never thought you'd find in the apocalypse… love. You know then that you can't leave him.

“Okay, let's go.”

Tagging: @neganssavior-fanfiction @ariasnyder @negans-network

[softhourswithru]

Délavé -OSH fanfic

1•2•3•?

Sehun x Reader -College bad boy and motorcycle sehun-

Moodboard made by @wolveswithblackpearls (it’s absolutely amazing thank you💕)

“You never listened to me, you never will."

11:50

Délavé....délavé....the word was swarming up your mind, as you continued reading the book.You were at the library waiting for your 'boyfriend' to come and join you so you guys can go out, the library was always your place to meet up. While waiting you had picked up a book to read.You and your boyfriend had started to date ever since you got into college, back then Sehun was....normal even though you hated saying that because it made sehun seem abnormal where as he isn’t. He was always with you and both of your group of friends that you both met at the start of college, until one day he just stopped, he went out with those you don't even feel uncomfortable around, sehun would usually do things that would make you feel uncomfortable just for the ‘fun’ of it, you felt like a toy, he never listened to you, he never will, now you don't even know him. Your a nobody to him , yet you got this opportunity to finally get him out of his friends and join you for a date.

You still had hope.

...hope.

01:35 pm

Crushed. That's how you felt. You had been stood up by your own boyfriend, the library closes at 4 and it was 1:35 so you decided to go home and trying to forget what has happened, you started walking out in the rain to your apartment as you didn’t bring much money because sehun was supposed to be your transport home. You didn't care if your mascara was running, you didn't care if you were soaking wet. Hope is useless and stupid. Love is useless and stupid. Sehun is useless and stupid.

You carried on walking until you met a familiar door of your apartment, you got in dropping everything on the floor and straight going into the shower. The water comforted you and embraced you with warmth unlike the rain crushing down onto you leaving wounds.You got out and dressed up in a hoodie and tights and got yourself in bed. You didn't bother doing anything else, but just to drown yourself in your sorrow but that didn't happened, as you felt vibrations from you phone notifying you of a text message.

_sehun_:sorry I missed our date, I got held back cuz of friends. Ly tho x

Friends.....really?Friends. You gulped down and that same track of thoughts came back again, sehun isn't sehun, and you were just a mere toy to him. Was I not good enough? Was I a bad girlfriend?Did i say anything? You shaken those thoughts away you had enough and when its enough for you, then its fucking enough you had deleted every memory of Sehun away from your phone keeping your broken feelings trapped some where isolated. You were done with his bullshit .

17/11/18

It's been a whole week, you went college and came home did your work and just slept. You ignored every notification or call from everybody, you weren't bothered. It was Saturday and all you wanted to do was to go on Netflix and eat, you didn't really think anyone would come. So you carried on with your day until you heard the door open. No one had your keys, or so you thought you went to go and see who came and came to see a familiar face that you hated with all your guts.

Sehun...

"What are you doing here?" Looking up to him, he looked confused back.

He chuckled "what do you mean 'what are you doing here' am I not your boyfriend?"

You looked up at him with your eyebrows raised. "Am done with your bullshit sehun, just get the fuck out" you didn't have the energy to go all out him.

"Baby come on, stop talking shit..look there's this party today wear something-" you cut him off "sexy? You wish, and am not talking shit so I suggest that you get the fuck out of here because I am done with you".

Sehun frowned "oh really?" "Yes really" you mocked back.

"I've done everything for you yet yo-" "excuse me what? What everything, what bullshit everything because this whole relationship was just me. Fucking me sehun because I was the one trying while your ass went off doing bullshit. You left me you left all of us. You never listened to me, you never will now please for God sake get out " you pointed at the door. Sehun was mad and you could see it, he threw your spare house keys somewhere in your room and marched off and slammed the door, your heart was beating loudly and fast, at least you got rid of him but not fully.

24/11/18

“Y/N OH SO HELP ME I WILL DRAG YOU TO THIS PARTY IN YOUR PJS IF YOU DON’T” your best friend called out, you chuckled you planned this day to be just you and y/bf/n going out to eat, but she had other plans she wanted to go to the party that jimin had invited her to. Y/bf/n fully knew that you had left sehun like a few days ago but she couldn’t give a shit, apparently you had to get some new ‘adventure’ which made you laugh.

You don’t mind going to parties but not ALL the time “fine but don’t leave me there all alone and sneaking off to suck jimins face off” you joked, y/bf/n gave you a short fake laugh “yh yh I won't leave ya virgin ass” you laughed back knowing well that she is going to leave you all alone in a crowd of random people.

Both of you started to get dressed, while y/bf/n chose a skin-tight dress you, on the other hand, chose ripped skinny jeans with a black shirt under-tucked finishing it with a black leather jacket. Your hair was curled with little makeup consisting eye liner, mascara and gloss.Y/bf/n was driving, when the both of you arrived you both got out and checked the place out, you weren’t surprised when you saw some big ass mansion, jimin had rich parents so he was technically a spoiled kid but never acted like one. Most of the time.

When getting in, you both went to a bar you didn’t want to get drunk as how you will be driving back to your apartment dragging y/bf/n behind you, so really most the time here you will be doing is just chilling out and probably eavesdropping hearing the new gossip, most of it was about the hook ups in college and what not exams and stuff when the two girls beside you began on to the next topic someone had came towards you. Jongin.

“whats up shorty, hows life without sehun?” Jongin was smirking at you, you’d replied dully “better but still the same” you didn’t bother looking at jongin knowing that it will piss you off even more.

“You lost most of your reputation breaking up with our No.1 biker” you scoffed “as if I ever cared about reputation when I was around you shitheads” Jongin made you face him his eyebrows furrowed “shitheads?”

You pushed your face away and rolled your eyes “and what the fuck do you mean bike? sehun never owned a motorcycle” jongin barked a laugh “God he didn’t tell you, I shouldn’t be fucking surprised and I supposed you know he has been fucking around with seoyeon” jongin came face to face with you.

 “What’s your fucking problem jongin?” you were more than irritated “I'm trying to see if you still love biker boy” “you should know the damn answer, you really think i broke up with him for jokes.” you suddenly felt uncomfortable and out of place where you currently were, jongins voice went deep “really, well look over there” you sighed out of irritation and looked over where jongin was looking.

There was seoyeon kissing sehun holding onto him as if her life depended on it. You gasped, paralyzed at that moment, you were nudged a few times finally, you looked at what jongin gave you, a glass full of alcohol “do it y/n”  you looked at jongin, seeing that he himself wanted something as well. Revenge.

You toke the glass from his hands and stalked towards the couple, sehun pushed seoyeon off of him when he noticed your presence he smirked at you, you smiled back then immediately splashing the cold drink in sehuns face and throwing the glass onto the floor, making it smash into thousands of fragmented little pieces. Everyone stared at you, but you couldn’t care less and walked out of the party towards y/bf/n car.

Before you got in the car someone had called your name.

23:04

________________________________________________________________

i decided to post this early, because i felt bad not posting, this is the first part of this new fanfic!

 i hope you like this new fanfic please like and support!

i think everyone knows who called y/n and y/bf/n means your best friends name- sorry for those who didnt know :p

love-A💕