#kneel before God

[tomicscomics]

09/12/2024

KNEEL before GOD??!

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: This is the fourth in a series of cartoons where the Boy interviews parishioners to answer the elusive question, "When should you sit/kneel after Communion?" Each cartoon has featured parishioners who have different answers, and each answer has been essentially valid: (1) I sit the whole time; (2) I kneel until the tabernacle is closed, then I sit; (3) I kneel until the altar is cleared and the priest sits, then I sit; or (4) I kneel the whole time. In each cartoon, however, the valid answer has been followed by some comment that makes the interviewee sound silly. This is because I am ostensibly a comedian, and if my comics don't have a punchline, I am bound by oath to grill a part of my body in penance to my patron, St. Lawrence. Though it might spoil the ending of the series, I think it's important to share in each "Joke-ography" that the true answer to the question of when to sit/kneel after Communion is that it's up to the individual, but congregational unity is encouraged when possible.

[yeslordmyking]

Philippians 2:5-6 — Today's Verse for Monday, February 5, 2024

[mysuperiors]

Stay down on your knees until I’m ready to give you your punishment. You’re in for a world of hurt, fag.

[zarnzarn]

(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)

athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute

odysseus: what?

athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do

penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes

odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?

athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.

penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire

athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.

penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment

zeus: where are they going

hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-

[awidevastdominion]

Young Man Kneeling Before God the Father / Egon Schiele

[justaz]

arthur repealing the ban on magic and sitting merlin and morgana down to figure out who is going to be court sorcerer and ready to mediate a debate but before morgana can even open her mouth, merlin passes to position onto her. arthur and morgana just stare, morgana makes feeble attempts to spark an argument, to instigate merlin to at least fight for it. even arthur is like “…you don’t even want, like, a room or something for your magic work?? none of the perks?? a different position in the court?????” and merlin’s just like “nope! i’m good!” and morgana and arthur exchange a look before arthur asks why. merlin’s answer is that his position, where he belongs, is at arthur’s side. besides. morgana deserves it. she was snubbed from becoming queen so it was only fair.

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price circa 1940

[shimidraco]

i wanted to draw today but all i was able to muster was little lamb-bam....

[forestshadow-wolf]

OH LAWD

CW: (speculative) suicide/self murder, demonstration of incredibly unhealthy relationships, gore allegories, and also just straight up gore

Thinking about soap completely trusting ghost

And like- fuck it's so unhealthy but also it's putting an image in my head that's actually got me fucked up rn

Imagining ghost handing soap a gun, looking directly into soap's eyes and asking him to kill himself. And soap does it, no hesitation, just BAM.

Or rather C L I C K

And FUCK imagine the gun was unloaded because it will only ever be unloaded around Johnny. But that's not the point is it? No the point is that soap... soap didn't care. Soap thought ghost told him to kill himself and he did, he would have. Had the gun only been loaded. Had simon not taken precaution to make sure it had been unloaded. Had simon done it in the spur of the moment.

And isn't that great? Isn't that amazing? Isn't that absolutely bone-chillingly terrifying?

Fuck

Soap would let ghost tear a chunk out of his throat, and as long as ghost looked him in the eyes as said he loved him, said he deserved it. Soap would cup his cheek, and smile, and choke out "I love you. Of course I did, you love me." Through the blood that floods into his mouth and lungs and down his esophagus and into his stomach. Because soap bleeds for ghost.

Ghost needs only to ask and soap would tear open his own stomach and let his guts spill on bloodsoaked, battle-stained ground.

Ghost is a man blinded by blood, leading an even blind-er man through death

Part 2 anyone? Stay tuned, I'll link it :)

[ladymoonstardust]

There are 206 bones in the human body, 207 when I’m watching Les Mis 2012 second act

[morrigan-sims]

Justice

Cause and effect, moral sensitivity, truth, law, and justice.

After doing a tarot card edit for Rook, I just had to do one for his personal villain... Meet Kora Wolf, captain of the Sea Snake, hero to some, villain to others, captor and torturer of Rook, and frequent face in his nightmares. (And her dog, Ark.)

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k

There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead. 

Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this. 

He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs.  Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!

Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair. 

Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.

He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.

His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?" 

Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–

The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs. 

One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles. 

There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him. 

"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"

Oh. Yes. That. 

It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.

Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to. 

Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly. 

Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.

Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor. 

Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step. 

Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-

Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's. 

He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.

Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before. 

Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray. 

He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further. 

Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs,  "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"

Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of! 

But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons. 

[mysuperiors]

I know I am what you desire, crave, and need in your pathetic worthless life. Give your life over to My service.

[eternal--returned]

[andromeda3116]

"One day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald, I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I'm sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."

--Lord Vetinari, Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

[maegalkarven]

Anyone thought about the fact what Gortash knew Zariel personally 10 fucking years ago?

Like Zariel needed someone to test her new machinery and Gortash was around just enough to simply suggest and then sell Karlach.

He knew archdeviless personally. Ten years ago.

Why the hells did he even need Bane anyway? He could've steadily worked towards world domination on his own.