#kintoki is just chilling :)

[lamouratorrrrry]

year of the dragon!

[tosart]

(FGOAU) The drunken Genji womanizer gets a scolding from her mother. Meanwhile, Ibaraki cannot keep herself from thinking about that dashing human warrior...

[rukia-writes]

RoR men meeting their son from the future

Of course Tesla goes first 😭♥️🥹

🧬 “TA DA!”

🧬 Tesla was in his laboratory with all the other great minds (Galileo, Einstein, Isaac Newton) were talking about science, math, astrology, etc until BOOM! 💥 a pod lands in their laboratory and everyone is like: 👀👀

🧬 Tesla sees a young boy that resembles him and when they boy gets to talking about science he’s thinking to himself: “is this my son? From the future? (Name) and I had a baby?!”

🧬 “I’m from the future! I wanted to build a Time Machine and it worked! Hi, Dad!”

🧬 Tesla’s son hugs him with a smile and everyone is in shock 👀😳 Tesla just says “I knew it! That’s amazing you built a Time Machine-“ the two proceed to talk about the machine and science until Tesla introduces everyone to his son. (The two were in their own little world)

🧬 the shock on Tesla’s s/o face has to be unreal to see her son and husband getting along with each other and not finding the whole situation…odd? (That’s what happens when you’re with a scientist)

🧬 Once Tesla’s beloved get over the shock and oddity of it all the three definitely have a great time together, the son helping out in the lab with his father and everyone, helping out his mommy with anything. ♥️ (But the son usually hangs out with Tesla more)

🧬 When it’s time for the son to return home everyone cries except Tesla and his son; they are happy they got to see each other and know they’ll see each other again soon. ♥️

🍭Man was just eating an afternoon snack with his beloved and Kintoki when 💥 BOOM💥 a boy comes out this machine saying “I’m here!”

🍭Buddha just calmly says “Who is the brat?” “I’m your son!” Kintoki and (Name) are definitely: 😳👀 Buddha isn’t shocked or taken back. At first he thinks it’s a weird joke but the closed he looks at the boy and sees himself in the face Buddha believes him and he does like the boy.

🍭Building a Time Machine is new and Buddha definitely checks it out and now the four definitely chill all day. As the days go on Buddha call his son “My mini me.” The two are chill and get along well; Buddha’s son hasn’t reached his enlightenment and is working on it and as much as Buddha wants to help he knows his son has to do it on his own. (Aww ♥️🥹)

🍭Buddha will share his snacks of course and his son will share his; Kintoki will share the candy he makes with the two and he knows by the shared sweet tooth with Buddha that’s his son. ( 😆)

🍭Yes. Buddha does tease his son sometimes. “Have you gone thru puberty yet?” “Do you have a sweet one back in your time?” “Do you have brothers and sisters?” And the son always answers with “Sorry, can’t tell you that. Time stream could change.”

🍭Buddha’s beloved definitely puts a blanket on Buddha and their son when they take naps, whether on the sofa, bed, outside, etc. ♥️

🍭When it’s time for their son to go back home he definitely has hard time going back because both parents don’t want him to leave. Buddha puts several snacks in his sons Time Machine too and when his son waved bye Buddha says “They grow up so fast.”

🎵 Hermes and his beloved were just having tea in the gardens at Zeus’ palace when BOOM 💥 A young boy just calmly sits down beside them and says “Hello mom, hello dad.” And just pours himself a cup of tea like it’s nothing.

Hermes at first is like: “What’s with this child?” He’s calm but he’s like “Who is this? Did he just call me Dad?”

🎵 It takes awhile for the boy to realize he’s in the past; as Hermes and his beloved find out he’s actually speedster god like his dad. Apparently the boy was out late and needed to be home. Hermes pieced together that he may have ran a bit too fast and went back in time. ( 🏃‍♂️⚡️ 💨)

🎵 “Well, since you’re here you might as well have dinner.” Hermes takes it better than most and already has a room where his son can sleep and asks many questions all of which his son is happy to answer, somewhat, as he doesn’t want to alter the time stream but he also inherits his father’s mind and doesn’t tell all the information.

🎵 This is all for not because the boy ends up staying; Hermes just says it’s better for him to stay here and travel to the future whenever he wants. Which the son happily does.

🎵 Everyone is definitely surprised Hermes has a son, hell Hermes and (Name) married just a few days ago. Ares is the most shocked at seeing the boy, the whole time travel thing racks his brain but he’s glad to teach the boy combat 🗡️. Zeus didn’t approve at first but as time went on he definitely has a soft spot for his grand son ⚡️

🎵 Hell everyone likes the boy, Aphrodite, Hades, Apollo, Hercules and yes even Poseidon (Buddha gives the boy candy if he sees him, actually Buddha is the only that actually sees him running 🏃‍♂️ with his ability)

🎵 Hermes and the boy definitely compose a lot of music together; sometimes the slow music puts (Name) to sleep but that’s okay. Apollo asks for the two to play music for them and sometimes they do; all three do.

🎵 Yeah Hermes son is definitely the favorite and his father and mother doesn’t spoil him…not at all.

🎀Rukia-Writes🎀

[deathmetalunicorn1]

So like, what if our dear reader drank a potion ehich made them a child but they have their conscious n thinking capability still the same as their adult time but the gods think they hv toddler brain, and they use it to their advantage to be pervy. And in context to the above image, they would bit their husbandos titties and gods would think she is just hungry, but in some (any of ur choice) incident they find out she still has adult brain n is only fulfilling her fantasies so when they r back to Normal they r in for some spicy smut . Thank you and I hope you will fulfill my request for record of ragnarok characters : Thor, loki, hades ,poseidon , rudra, indra, Buddha, Qin shi huang, Sakata kintoki, Nikola , beelzebub. Please do individual characters only for the smut part. For the biting the tiddies part I would like that the reader be go around feeding on them all 😳

Hello my love, I’m happy to do my best in this request for you, but I do need to let you know the only character I won’t be writing is Kintoki, as I haven’t had enough screen time/ manga pages, with him, so I’m not sure how to write his character. I do apologize.

-Panic was the only thing swarming around you at the moment, after you woke up in the body of a younger toddler.

-You had been stunned silent, being completely coherent of the situation, but you couldn’t talk and say anything otherwise.

-The man of your life was holding you to his chest, frantic as he tried to make sense what was going on, while you were just chilling in a tee-shirt that was ten times too big for you.

-Zeus found a glass with a strange purple liquid inside of it nearby and inspected it closely before announcing you had unknowingly drank a potion that turned you into a toddler, and you would be a toddle for at least the next 24 hours.

-You looked up at your lover, feeling bad that he was so worried about you, as you were trying to figure out the same thing.

-However, as you looked up at him, his muscles were staring you right in the face, hugging you to his large and voluptuous pecs.

-Hearts immediately appeared in your eyes, without anyone seeing and the little devil and little angel appeared on your shoulders and instantly the devil suplexed your angel almost instantly, “DO IT!!”

-You instantly opened your mouth and began to mouth around his peck, cooing cutely as he panicked, holding you back away from him.

-Zeus laughed warmly, stroking his bread, “Looks like Y/N is hungry and trying to feed off you.” He tried to come over to pinch your cheek and you whined, tears filling your eyes, waving your arms back to your lover, fussing.

-Instantly you were back where you wanted to be, cooing in content, looking so innocent to the others in the room who all thought you were adorable, while your thoughts were anything but.

-You slapped your hands against his pec, giggling happily as you nuzzled your cheek against it and instantly tried to latch on to his nipple, living out your perverse fantasy.

-While embarrassing for him, you weren’t bothered as he tried to get you to get off his chest, offering you a bottle instead, but you smacked it away, only wanting his chest!

-Several hours later, after everyone had left, leaving only you and your lover, who was drained after dealing with this whole situation.

-You lifted yourself up as he stroked your hair, babbling up at him, as he had an arm thrown over his eyes and he looked at you, giving you a soft smile, “You’re cute like this, but I want my Y/N back.”

-Your eyes softened, your love for him only growing before you cooed softly, reaching for his face and he chuckled, lifting you up and pecked your cheek gently.

-You managed to press your lips against his lips and POOF! You were now sitting across your lover’s chest, the shirt now a bit stretched due to your adult form.

-A smile appeared on your lips, “I love you (Love).” He was stunned, having not expected you to change back with just a kiss before his hands came to your thighs, the smile on his face not matching the aura of fury surrounding him, “Y/N~ were you aware of what you were doing as a baby?”

-Your grin was telling and instantly he swatted your rear hard, making you keen loudly, feeling a rush of pleasure shoot through you.

-By the look in his eyes, you were going to be punished~

-Thor- He quickly had you on your knees, bent over you, one hand holding your head down to the ground while the other slapped at your ass and the back of your thighs while he pounded into you. You were a drooling mess, crying out, your nails digging into the blanket he had thrown on the floor, your one mercy from him. He was relentless, his pace never faltering, bringing you to peak one after another. Your antics fueled him, you had embarrassed him and he wanted to drive every thought besides him and his cock from your head.

-Loki- You teased and embarrassed him, he will give it back to you tenfold. He liked it a bit more when you were in charge, begging you, but when he was in charge, he made sure you wouldn’t forget it. You hummed as he forced you to swallow him to the base, not caring that you were almost choking, his hands tangled in your hair, throat fucking you hard and fast. You whined, trying to get your hands free so you could touch yourself as you were dripping down your thighs. He sneered down at you, “C’mon Y/N, maybe I’ll fuck you if you make me cum? Can you do that?” his condescending tone made you squeeze around nothing before you hollowed your cheeks, making him thrown his head back.

-Hades- If you want to act like a brat and embarrass him, he’ll treat you like a brat. His hands rubbed across the back of your thighs, listening to your breathy pants, soothing the ache away after he had just thrown you over his knee and spanked you. A smirk appeared as his fingers stroked down your rear, finding your dripping core and instantly you mewled as his fingers brushed against the wetness, “My-my~ you’re so wet. Don’t tell me you liked your punishment?” his fingers quickly worked into your core, making your back arch upwards with a sharp cry before you felt something hard shifting against your stomach. You would have to misbehave more often.

-Poseidon- In hindsight, you realized you needed to get better at lying, at least with things like this, your hands were bound above your head, tying you to his large bed, and began to punish you. Your ass was red from his slaps, they stung but at the same time, the little bit of pain felt so good~ and you were four orgasms in, you felt so dizzy, so delirious. Poseidon entered with some water for you, helping you drink it before he kissed you hard, licking the drops of water at the sides of your mouth away, “Don’t pass out on me now. You’re punishment is far from over.” You looked up at him, confused before your eyes widened as he opened a large stamina potion and downed the whole thing. He looked at you with a feral look in his eyes and you couldn’t help but squeak, pressing your thighs together.

-Rudra- You moaned softly as he stroked your ass, having just finished spanking you, red covering your ass and thighs, while his other hands were holding you down. He murmured into your hair gently after sitting you up, making you straddle his waist, “You did so good for me, my bad little girl. I think we’ll move onto the second punishment now~” he was quick to free his cock and lifted you with two of his hands and pulled you down hard. A sharp cry left you as you almost immediately came and he instantly stilled, “You’re not allowed to cum until I say so. Bad girls don’t get rewards.” You licked your lips and he instantly grinned and began to jackhammer up into you.

-Indra- You relaxed your throat again as he made you gag again, thrusting up, making you take him deeper. He took a deep drag of his cigarette, “Keep going, you’re not finished yet.” He had forced you immediately to your knees, bullying you back into your place as punishment, but he knew you liked it, else you would have used your safe word or safe word action. His one hand brushed your hair from your face, the soft action a stark contrast of his rough treatment, making you choke on his cock and ignoring your needs, for the moment. Once he felt like you had learned your lesson then he would reward you, maybe.

-Buddha- Your hands were almost instantly bound as soon as he had you pinned to the ground, forcing his body between your thighs, grinding down hard on you, dry humping you. Your shirt had long been shredded and he used your chest to his heart’s desire, titty fucking you, painting your chest and face with his cum, sucking at your own nipples until they were almost painfully sensitive, but the worst thing is that he kept fingering you and denying you orgasm after orgasm, overstimulating you but never giving you any relief. Only when you could only make noises and say his name did he finally fuck you, giving you exactly what you wanted, treating you like a sex toy, boy did you love that.

-Qin Shi Huang- He was so cruel to you, spanking you while talking so gently to you, like you were a child, praising you taking your punishment like a big girl, making you whine. Once he stopped, after about fifteen slaps to your ass and thighs, he rolled you over, sucking on your own nipples like he was the baby. He enjoyed feeling your hands scratching along his scalp, but he was quick to pull back and grab his blindfold, tying you to his bed, “Ahh-ahh my little lotus, this is a punishment. Take what I give you.” You whined softly, pouting up at him, but another slap to your aching thigh had any complaints quickly dying. He kissed you softly, before whispering against your lips, “If you behave, maybe I’ll reward you.” He relished the look on your face, biting your bottom lip lightly but delight in your eyes.

-Nikola- Could only pout as you hugged him, apologizing, refusing to look at you as you nuzzled your nose against his cheek, a pout coming to your own lips, “I just wanted to live out one of my fantasies with you Nikola~ you never let me do anything like that in the bedroom.” His head finally turned, “Fine. Since you got to live out one of yours, you get to help me with one of mine.” Ten minutes later you were in the skimpiest little maid costume you had ever seen, complete with high heels, stockings, and no panties. He had opened his shirt and undone his pants before taking a glass of wine and poured it all over his chest and crotch, “Clean it up.” You kneeled before him, batting your eyes, “Of course, master~” he was quick to groan, his head falling back as you got to work, both of you curious about more sexual fantasies you both had.

-Beelzebub- Had immediately pinned you down, face down ass up, after forcing the shirt off of you, leaving you completely bare and bullied his cock into you. Your sharp and slightly painful cries were music to his ears as he set a harsh and rough pace, hands digging into your ass, his nails biting just slightly into your skin, “You think it’s funny to embarrass me in public? Maybe I should take you out and fuck you in the meeting room, let all the other gods see you.” You mewled loudly which made him smirk, feeling you tighten around him, “Oh~ are you really that much of a little whore, Y/N? Well too bad, your body is mine, and mine alone.” He slapped your ass hard, making you cry out loudly for him, “Yours! Only yours!” his pace increased, each thrust driving a harsh cry from your naughty lips.

[re-re-redline]

—General Headcanons: Mehmed II—

Foreword: You have no idea how long it took me to center the left and right squares, good grief I never want to do that again. It’s a famous portrait of Mehmed by Gentile Bellini which cropped to get the left and right squares as well as the header and the footer. The header has the nice squares that I put for Constantine’s headers and footers. The middle square is my drawing of Koha-ace Mehmed. I am working on something else to put there because, don’t lie to me, he looks kinda goofy, right? It has been changed! That is my depiction of Mehmed II and I have to say, he’s lookin’ good. But that’s just me, hehe.

On another note…Wow, who knew that working on the same thing would cause my writing abilities to slow down significantly? Definitely learning new things…Thus, I have put myself together and taken the time to work on this! Do trust that it’s definitely getting finished as the idea is way too good not to write about.

Ladies & gentlemen, germs & worms, this list of headcanons is based entirely on the vibes that the two pictures I have of Mehmed from Himuro’s World and what I picked up from looking up the real slim shady. This shit’s being held with glitter glue, popsicle sticks and a dream. Speculation of the highest order here. I’ll probably get proved so wrong when he comes out I am so on that hopium in FGO. While you munch on this, I’ll be working on an addendum for Micheal’s general headcanons and some headcanons concerning how he confesses to you. Then it’ll be Mehmed’s turn for some long ass romance headcanons. I have plans…just need to work on plans. Should I put a ‘Read More on this? It’s about as long as Constantine’s GHcs but shorter than his RHcs…

Regardless of my writing plans, I hope you get something out of this filtered crack of a hcs post.

When he was first summoned, exactly three people (technically two) felt what many would call “a disturbance in the force.” These three (technically two) were Constantine XI and both versions of Vlad III. Constantine was having tea with Miss Crane when he felt a cold chill descend down his spine and he found himself barely able to hold his teacup without leaving a sizable crack in the ceramic. Vlad (Berserker) was working on one of his crocheting projects (a sweater for Jack The Ripper) when he also felt a chill down his spine and dropped his needles. Vlad (Lancer) experienced the same thing except he was in the middle of grilling some excellent sirloin for the boys. Case in point, all three of them wandered around a bit to find the source of this anxiety, somehow bumped into each other, found out that they’re all experiencing the same thing and next thing you know…The trio enters the summoning room to find none other than the man they all hate the most in this world, Mehmed the Conquerer. And that’s when a fight immediately broke out with you and Mash desperately fending off two pissed off Vlads and one bloodthirsty Micheal to keep your level one Mehmed alive all while our favorite sultan is smugly flipping off all three of them and goading them to attack him. Thankfully, Watanabe-no-Tsuna and Kintoki happened to pass by and they both aided you in suppressing the trio. After that, Astraea punished all four of them by forcing them all to write on a chalkboard. She was notably disappointed in Constantine since he’s such a model servant and was one of the few who didn’t have a disruption on their record. The attacking triplet were told to write “I will not kill or maim my teammate, regardless of my history with him.” 45 times and Mehmed was told to write “I will not goad my teammates into killing or maiming me.” 75 times. Needless to say, this is the definitive start to a laundry list of incidents started by our favorite sultan.

After he received his first disciplinary action from the lady justice herself, he soon found himself enamored with the technology around him. Yeah, sure, he knew about developments in tech thanks to the Throne giving him this knowledge pre-packed with his summoning, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to know more. After one month of hard studying on his part, Mehmed went from having a passable understanding of smartphones and computers to being the most tech savvy servant you’ll ever meet. He can type five long ass paragraphs with both his thumbs on his phone in under thirty seconds with near perfect punctuation. He’s jailbroken all his devices and is running Linux on his phone and tablet. He’s talking shop with Odysseus about the logistics and R&D of producing Power Armor for everyone as a thought exercise. With how comfortable he is with technology, one would easily mistake him for a man of the modern era instead of a man from the 1400s.

One has to wonder what our favorite sultan will do with his now extensive knowledge concerning modern technology. First he tried building a ‘Big Fucking Cannon’ (one that he can use separate from his NP) but was denied unanimously by administration. So, what does a guy do in place like this? With the current state of affairs with the world being bleached and all, instead of conquering all countries like he wanted to…why not conquer a new frontier? He put in much the same gusto into studying pop culture and came out simultaneously confused and very intrigued. Both came from how slang developed into its current complex form and the intricacies of it. But nevertheless he came out with an interest in the interwebs and that interest turned into���the next bullet point.

Much to the chagrin of his detractors, Mehmed is a very popular gentleman on the socials. He has a Youtube Channel, he has a Twitch Channel, he has Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, a Tumblr— he’s got it ‘em all and a huge following to back them it up. He mostly does vlogs, shitposts, and occasionally collabs with Sei Shonagon, Suzuka Gozen, and Osakabehime. Mehmed also does a history stream when the mood strikes him. He’ll either have MSPaint or a browser open as he goes on and on for hours off the cuff about various time periods and historical events he finds interesting. While the live viewers are understandably halved, y‘know ‘cause he’s the guy you watch when you want to see him shoot a mini cannon not relive your world history class, he still finds it to be an enjoyable way to fill a gap in his streaming schedule and an excellent opportunity to debunk the ‘he’s just a dumbass vlogger’ allegations. All this social media stuff is just a way to stave off boredom during his downtime on saving the world. If he didn’t have this then hoo boy, things will start getting really interesting and not in a good way! So please, just hold the camera during battle and make sure to get his good side, you’re doing Chaldea a bigger service than you think you are.

Now. You may have noticed a running theme here so far. Mehmed does quite a bit of studying. At a young age, he was taught by a ton of teachers and picked up on all the stuff they were putting down real quick. The art of studying and his innate curiosity combined to get us the intellectual we have today. It’s said that Mehmed had a strong interest in Greek and Byzantine culture, his collection of latin and greek works of art and literature are a testament to this. Hell, he even had a few portraits done of himself by the likes of Gentile Bellini. Back to his studies, Mehmed is the kinda guy who wants to know everything. If he was offered omniscience and had a strong reason to believe that he’d actually receive it, then Mehmed would have a VERY difficult time passing an opportunity like that up. Ultimately, he’d decline for two reasons. One, only god should have that kind of knowledge, humans aren’t meant for that. Two, he’d much rather earn that level of know-it-all instead of cheesing the system. The joy Mehmed gets from having that aha moment when he realizes that he’s fully grasped something is unmatched. He lives for that shit. Oh and something that miffs him about being a servant is that he just knows by default every language there is. It takes away the potential fun he could’ve had learning a new language. He was really looking forward to learning Korean, you know?

So, in between conquering the hearts of the people and his secret arms projects (c’mon, he’d totally try and build the BFC whether Da Vinci and Gordy allowed it or not), he’s reading up on various subjects that either didn’t learn about in his lifetime or updating his info the stuff he already knows, like mathematics. Many servants and staff alike got severe whiplash from stumbling across Mehmed—resident social media star—taking notes on Combinatorics and Differential Equations. Fun fact, mathematics is how Moriarty (Archer) and him became friends. Mehmed was practicing working with matrices and accidentally fudged a number which Moriarty pointed out as he was passing by. Then a conversation about the best ways to deal with matrices ensued which then turned into a conversation about cool shit like how to financially devastate your enemies. Needless to say, you’ll often see the two of them in a room together talking about…not evil things. Mhm. 100% kosher convos about math. Nothing else. You have the papa seal of approval on that.

Keeping in line with how much Mehmed studies concepts and the world around him, it should be known that this level of inquisition is also applied to the people around Mehmed. Every single member of Chaldea, servant or not, has held at least one full length conversation with Mehmed II. It doesn’t matter if you have low-ranked Madness Enhancement, Mehmed will at least TRY to hold a conversation with you. Obviously, it doesn’t quite stop there. He’ll go through Chaldea’s index and research his fellow servants and their lives along with their abilities. Mehmed has, tucked and encrypted in the darkest depths of his computer, entire dossiers on everyone. From what incidents they started to gossip and beefs involving them. He goes deep. Disturbingly deep. The reason why our favorite sultan has acquired this knowledge is so that he feels more in control. There’s nothing this man hates more than surprises, and Chaldea is chock full of ‘em considering the wide range of servants on deck. He at least wants to be able to predict how his teammates will fuck up so that he can make the save in time, instead of getting blindsided from just believing in them and getting fucked anyways. It’s already bad enough that he’s not the big kahuna here, so just let him have this, okay?

For all the learning he does, you may feel compelled to ask him questions since he seems like he basically knows everything. And you know what? That’s the best decision you’ve ever made. Mehmed absolutely loves proving how much shit he knows AND he loves teaching just as much. Ask him anything you’d like! He’ll answer it to the best of his ability and dumb it down for you as much as he needs to until you get it. He’s already smiling and pulling out the small whiteboard he has on him at all times when he sees you walking up to him with that inquisitive look on his face, he’s already unscrewing the caps to his markers before you’ve opened your mouth; man’s 100% ready to impart his wisdom unto you. The best questions you can ask him are history related questions since that’s his jam and he’ll be barely containing his excitement if you ask about the illustrious history of the one and only Ottoman Empire. He already has your hand in his as he drags you to his room for it so that he can hold show off all the shit has from his time to supplement his lecture. This might go on for so long that you two could be missing dinner and having a sleepover while he goes on and on about the empire he loved and helped grow.

Speaking of being in his room, for all the innuendoes and dirty jokes he makes, Mehmed is the kind of guy who would pull you into his bed and softly tell you to get under the blankets with him, and instead of anything seggs related it’s actually just glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs. He’ll pick one up and tell you facts about it and after he’s done with all 13 of them, he’ll then shoot ideas on how to make real dinosaurs glow in the dark like these ones. It’s pretty cute. Oh, and if anyone walks into this, then the little shit will immediately wrap his arms around your neck and start cooing about ‘how good you were for him’ and ‘how sore he feels’ and other riveting suggestive comments.

One of his favorite ways to spend time with you is watching historical documentaries! Please give it a chance, it’s not as boring as it sounds. Not with Mehmed the Conquerer sitting next to you that is. He frequently pause to give more context, point out neat things they did and—more importantly—absolutely raze them for getting shit wrong. His full name’s not Pablo Picasso, it’s Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Crispín Crispiniano María de los Remedios de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz Picasso, dumbass. Get your shit together. You’ll end up learning a lot and your sides will be hurting from how Mehmed goes off on these documentaries. See? Not boring at all. Oh and by the way, his favorite movie is Night at The Museum. Just thought I’d tack that in there.

Vlad and Mehmed do not like each at all. Neither of them want to be in the same room as the other if they can help it. To add onto it, Vlad’s always trying to stealthily take Mehmed out of the picture through some means and it didn’t really bother him until he was nearly poisoned. That’s when Mehmed stopped messing around and nearly turned Vlad into a donut via his cannons the moment his throat started burning. Needless to say that there is a zero percent chance of either of them reconciling or working well together. There’s too much historical bad blood between them and it carried over with a vengeance into their second lives at Chaldea.

Note: If these two get into an argument—which is kinda low since talking takes SO much more effort than killing—then Mehmed will bring up, as a diss, that he fucked Vlad’s brother. Depending on who you ask, this may be true. But regardless, he’ll bring it up and that’s when the fistfight will break out. If you ask Mehmed if he actually did it, then he’ll just wink and say that’s his secret.

As for Constantine… it’s much different. While Constantine hates Mehmed for basically getting him killed and ending his empire, Mehmed on the other hand feels very differently. I implore you to look past the teasing, mean spirited “you’re an old man” jokes and pranks on Constantine for a moment, ‘kay? He’s only doing that shit to act tough and conceal how he really feels. The reality of the matter is that Mehmed actually admires Constantine. It takes balls to run headfirst into your certain doom and it takes a special kind of person to get as far as Constantine did with barely anything to hold Mehmed at bay, and you know what? He thinks that that’s the coolest shit ever. Was it fucking stupid to not accept the deal he gave to him so that he can continue ruling the Morea—you know the place he managed a while ago that really liked him—and be left alone mostly? Yeah. Was it fucking badass? Hell yeah! After Mehmed set foot into Constantinople, he understood why Constantine was fighting so hard to keep the city and he vowed to himself that he’d take care of her. Hence why the name was never changed during his lifetime and long afterwards. It’s why Constantinople became the new capital and was brought from the ground up to greatness. Was the prophecy a big part of it? Yeah, of course it was. That’s how this whole thing started in the first place. But it morphed into something more, and Mehmed really wishes that someday he and Constantine can just have a nice conversation for once about the city they both loved. And maybe… just maybe they both can be friends sometime?

Note: There is a chance for Constantine to reconcile his differences with Mehmed. It’s actually possible! You just need to do the herculean task of getting Constantine to actually talk and be direct about his feelings and what’s bothering him. And if you’ve read the romance headcanons for Constantine, then you know exactly how allergic he is to doing that. You should probably ease him into it by forcing the two of them to work towards the same goal. Like, I dunno… get fucking kidnapped by Douman or something and have those two be your only hope. Trust me, you’ll be saved in the end because Constantine is—unlike Vlad— capable of putting his beef with Mehmed aside for the greater good. And hey, he’ll realize that maybe Mehmed’s not that bad. But y’know, the man to man talk has to happen. And once it does, you’ll soon have two dudes geeking out over the Roman Empire. It’ll be wholesome, but until then, it’ll be a one-sided thing on Mehmed’s end.

To get back into a more lighthearted topic, let’s talk about how Mehmed acts. Man’s not what people expected when they heard that ‘the Father of Conquest’ has arrived at Chaldea. He’s pretty relaxed. There’s not really an aura or a vibe of regality to him at all, he just feels like a normal ass dude to talk to and his usage of modern slang is making it worse. It’s definitely a conversation to hear him talk with Blackbeard, it sounds like they’re both speaking a different language. “I understand these words separately” type shit. The reason why Mehmed’s not putting that much effort into say, intimidation factor or being cool, is because he has such a long ass list of personal achievements that he feels like he doesn’t have to act a certain way. He’s him, he has been him and will continue to be him. …Or at least that’s how he sees himself.

One of the jokes he often makes is that you have to pay him tribute and will sometimes point to his cheek or open his arms. Again, it’s a joke, so don’t feel compelled to give him a smonch or a hug if you don’t want to, Mehmed’s expecting you to say no and he’ll just say that he’ll ‘put it on your tab’ for later. Said tab does not exist and he isn’t keeping track. Though, he certainly doesn’t mind if you do peck him on the cheek or hug him as he’s a physically affectionate person by nature. On another note, uh, don’t ever let him be the event shopkeeper. You may find that things cost a bit more than usually do. Like your Corona Fous cost will 475 currency instead of the usual 400. If you ask why, then he’ll just smile and say that he’s ‘funding a personal project.’ It’s the BFC.

I want to loop back to something I said at the very beginning of these headcanons. I said that Mehmed will start a long list of incidents. Well, these incidents don’t come from Mehmed’s ‘inner desire to sow chaos for his entertainment’ something wack like that. Nope. It actually comes, surprisingly enough, from wanting to improve Chaldea. See, this guy took a look at the rules and found himself disgusted. There’s just not enough rules here! And the punishments are so lenient! This is awful, said he to himself. And thus, the incidents Mehmed starts are based on loopholes he found in the rules and technicalities and he hopes that with how much trouble he’s causing, that Chaldea’s administration will step up their game and bring the hammer down. …Yeah, they don’t. But that’s no reason to give up, he’ll just have to— oh shit that’s Astraea. Run!! Mehmed’s unfortunately made an enemy of Astraea with all his shenanigans and she has made it her mission to give Mehmed exactly what he deserves in place of Chaldean administration. So if you see him with an icepack on his head and a couple of bandages, it was probably the Lady Justice drop kicking him. Don’t worry about it too much, he knows he deserves it.

All in all, Mehmed II is a nerdy and learned type of guy who shows off his knowledge and loves imparting his wisdom to others just as much. He’s pretty goofy and laidback for a sultan and often rolls the jokes made at his expense. Seems like a simple guy, right? Well… what if I told you that this is actually just the light side of the moon? That Mehmed, in fact, has another side to his personality. A ‘gap-moe’ if you will. As much as our favorite sultan likes to hide it from others, he’s not all that good of a person deep down. Don’t get me wrong though. The man I just described is very real and is by no means a facade, that is Mehmed II. But where there’s light, there too is darkness.

Talent is a thing people are born with, it’s described the dictionary as a natural aptitude for something, after all. Mehmed believes that, those who are bestowed talent by god will at some point pay for that talent in some manner. And when you look at some of history’s best geniuses, you can see why he thinks that. To him, he believes that since he’s so talented, god has cursed him with the worst inner demons a man could have to balance him out and stop him from being too powerful. And honestly, there are times when Mehmed really wishes that he was just a regular person so that he doesn’t have to hold those wretched things at bay.

You will find, at times when Mehmed hugs you, that he’s squeezing a bit too hard. You tell him in a strained voice that you can’t breathe and for two seconds he’ll squeeze even harder before letting go and apologizing, stating that he doesn’t know his own strength sometimes. You’ll also find that Mehmed sometimes will squeeze your hand too hard when he’s holding it in his, and you just barely catch him looking away when you turn to ask him why he did that. When you’re in the kitchen cutting veggies, you’ll feel a pair of eyes burning into the side of your head. You don’t find who it is but, conveniently, when you cut your finger, guess who’s already at your side with a band-aid? Honestly, it’s like he was waiting for this to happen. I’m sure you see where I’m going with this, right?

Mehmed II is, in fact, a sadist. He likes watching your face contort in pain, he likes seeing the minute differences in your expression for different injuries, how you sound different too. It’s all so morbidly interesting to him and he wants to know more. He wants to see your face when you sprain your ankle, he wants to hear how different you sound after being nearly choked to death, he wants to see you deal with missing a hand. It’s another facet of his curiosity and he won’t stop thinking about it until he’s dealt every injury known to man onto you and sees the results for himself.

Now, you may be saying: “Redline, this is just Beryl 2: Electric Boogaloo. This headcanon is ass.” But I dare to disagree. See, Beryl flopped because he’s an undercooked loser who appeared straight outta left field and did jack all in his own damn Lostbelt. He has zero character to him other than “hehhe, breaking Mashu’s fingies is gret show of love, eye hop she luvs me when aye snap her neck tomorrow <3 <3” Mehmed, as I see him, is more than this. Way more. Go back and read the paragraphs before this if you don’t believe me, and for that matter go and read about the his history while you’re at it, the man’s a legend.

Not only that, but Mehmed—unlike shithead mcgee here—actually has self-awareness. He knows that causing you pain is a bad thing and that it only serves to satisfy his sick and twisted desires as opposed to being anything constructive or enriching for either of you. He knows that it will drive you away from him in the end. He knows that this isn’t healthy and that feeding the demons is going to end with you lying dead on the floor. He knows, he knows, he knows. Trust him, he knows.

There’s also the fact that his sadism is not how he shows love, it directly comes from his want and need to know things. Mehmed shows love like a normal person would. He gets enjoyment from hugging people, holding hands, giving gifts and spending quality time with his loved ones. You know, like a normal person. He feels genuine guilt when he actually harms you and he’s quick to right his wrongs in any way that he can. You can see the self-loathing and the guilt in his eyes when he sees the bruise on your arm from when he grabbed you too roughly. His self awareness and the subsequent guilt, that which compels him to hold the inner demons at bay, puts him leagues above Beryl Gut. His internal struggle and how he deals with his self-control waning along with his thoughts and feelings on the matter make him more than just a sadist. It makes him Mehmed II. An ultimately good man burdened with desires that harm others which in turn hurts him too, leaving him all alone to beat the hell out of himself when those desires hit their logical conclusion.

And ideally, you’ll never ever have to know about the awful awful thoughts around wriggling in his skull. You’ll just see him as your nerdy Archer class servant who likes goofing around, making posts on the internet, and shooting cannons and stuff. That’s all he is and that’s all he should be. ( :

P.S. If you tell him about the Elixir of Immortality, then he’d immediately tell you to destroy it. Good on you for not drinking it yet but seriously, that shit needs to go now. That is not something that should be in human hands and who knows what’ll happen if the wrong person finds out that you have it. If Qin Shi Huang has a problem with him destroying it for you then they’re going to have to deal with the Father of Conquest himself. Immortality only brings infinite suffering to poor soul cursed to have it, forcing them to watch the people they love wither away time and time again for the rest of forever. And that’s not getting into the prospect of you witnessing the horror that is the heat death of the universe. It sounds like a nightmare and Mehmed doesn’t want that for you. End of story.

And that’s that. Those are my headcanons straight from my cranium put into words for your screen’s depicting pleasure. Am I reaching? Are these headcanons awful? Or perhaps I have done something right? Let me know, and um… I am considering opening my inbox, not for requests but for talking, so I’ll pondering that. And I hope you all got who you wanted for the GSSR and Destiny Order ‘cause I sure as hell didn’t! Murasaki I love you but I wanted Castoria And I’m gonna sit on my 400 SQ until September when a certain very beautiful saber who shares a seiyuu with Kakyoin comes out on NA. I’ve folded a few times but I’ll save as much as I can for real! Wait for me! Uh, ahem. But yeah, that’s all from me. Until next time!

—Redline, over and out!

[johnmalevolent]

heyyyyy, gintama for the fandom asks?

iris did you know that i love you

The first character I first fell in love with: Gintoki. i've loved him even before i watched gintama (that blorbo in law situation) it was of course partly sharing a friend's enthusiasm but also his design. now that i know his whole character it just makes me fall even more... and these are why:

his dead fish eye. his lack of energy. his sweet tooth. the one arm sticking out of his yukata bcs he thinks it's cool (he insists its just so he could grab his wooden sword faster). the way he rarely refuses to help people even if he acts annoyed about it.

he's kind of like reigen in many ways (28 year old freelancer - albeit questionable job - and bad older brother figures for some middle schoolers)

he's a gag character but sometimes he also acts as a straight man. i think he believes himself to be the sanest person when compared to his childhood friends (which. honestly doesn't say much). also im weak for characters voiced by mr Sugita

oh yeah have i mentioned his design. of course his main outfit is really cool but i love the ones we sometimes see him in. like his winter clothes, the ryokan uniform, shiroyasha, white blood king, that one time he switched job to a truck driver, his host suit, enmi... so many. he also crossdressed several times and slayed the look. despite wanting to have him in my bed someday im actually not that crazy over shirtless gintoki (except for his pink strawberry boxer shorts). the rule is the more layers of fabric he puts on, the more in love i am

and of course his *checks notes* wonderful personality

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: tbh Takasugi.. he's Gintoki's childhood friend but after what happened 10 years ago their relationship seems mostly hateful on the outside, but they actually treasure the other very much as a friend. when he first appeared he was introduced as an antagonist, probably the main one for the whole series, and it was kinda meh because at that point i was watching gintama for the comedy. but after watching the flashback of their time together it hurts just thinking about them. I've rewatched this one scene of them from the Gintama final movie and i cried every single time. if you're okay w major spoilers the clip should be in my "#jiwa perak" tag under a read more

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: see this is hard cos im not really deep in the fandom buuuut if i have to choose its shinpachi... its not that i dont like him, I just care for him the least...... he's good when paired with other characters (with gintoki & kagura or with his sister) but when he's by himself he's not that interesting. and i get it he's supposed to not be interesting. it's a whole joke that shinpachi is the most boring character. idk sorry shinpachi i hope they give you some new trait in the ginpachi spin-off

The character I love that everyone else hates: sorry idk who is the hated character in the fandom 😭

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Kintoki, maybe? he was a robot created per Shinpachi & Kagura's request because their current boss (Gintoki), who was nowhere to be found (probably drinking), is very irresponsible. so Kintoki is the polar opposite of Gintoki, created to be perfect in the ways gintoki couldn't. i used to really love him because of his charisma (took a bunch of screenshots & collected fanart of him) but after his arc ended i kinda forgot about him lmao. im chill about him now

The character I would totally smooch: gintoki. in case that wasn't clear

The character I’d want to be like: i want that katsura non-binary look and then my life would be complete. i dont want his brain tho

The character I’d slap: sakamoto. i love him but he's so annoying <3 i wld kill him irl

A pairing that I love: hijikata/gintoki!! i think they have a nice dynamic. unlike gintoki, hijikata is a very strict person. everytime they meet they always fight, but they understand each other and do well when fighting together. both of them insists they're not friends but when gintoki left town hijikata said "I'm gonna look for him." how do you expect me to not go insane.

ginsachi is also up there, and tbh if gintoki said he'd marry me after our first meeting I'd react like sacchan did. sacchan is a creep but i support girls wrong etc. it's a shame they dont really have many episodes together after that except when it's another harem episode :/

A pairing that I despise: GINTOKI/KYUUBEI. im glad there isnt actually many fancontent of them but my god do i despise it. i hate that kyuubei has sooo much potential as a non-binary character but became a part of gintoki's harem. like. i cannot see in kyuubei the same character that appeared in their debut arc. i know them starting to embrace their feminine side is an important trait but at this point it feels like they're turned into a girl just because. i know it sounds like im just talking about kyuubei im just really pissed lmao. it also doesnt make any sense to me how they would even have feelings for gintoki :(

[thetaledeliveryservice]

Love your blog! theres so few active fate askblogs. Anyway how would various servants Mori, Berserker Kintoki, Lancer Cu, Beowolf and Berserker Vlad react to a master who growls and bites when thier upset, angry or when they want to be left alone?

sidenote I think Cu wouldn’t mind the growling, as its just masters way of communicating thier feelings and being the durable guy he is wouldn't mind being used as a chewtoy for when master gets mad

Thank you anon! While I know I can't fill the void a lot of the no longer active fate blogs have left behind, I'm going to do my best to give us Fate Simps some form of self-insert content because we're desperate at this point.

Mori

You know what, he gets it. He gets the growling and biting. He's not above doing it himself. Just be careful where you put those teeth.

Anytime he hears you growling or catches you chewing on something, that's when he goes into "Cheer Master Up" Mode. He'll pick you up for an impromptu tea ceremony where you're free to vent out any frustrations you have.

Sometimes people will catch you two just...growling to each other. And while no one else seems to understand what you two might be saying, you and Mori understand each other perfectly.

Kintoki (Berserker)

Aww, you're growling, how cute-No Master don't bite him! This is not golden stop it!

Look, he understands now that you growl when you're upset, but please don't bite him. He's not the biggest fan of the sensation, and he doesn't want to end up hitting you out of reflex. If you need to bite or chew on something, he'll get you a stress toy.

The second he hears you start growling, he's going to remove you from that situation so you can get a chance to calm down. And so that way no one gets bitten, again.

Cu Chulainn (Lancer)

He finds the growling kind of cute, but he knows it's a sign that you're not in the best of moods. So his main goal is to help you calm down once he hears the growls.

Like you said anon, he doesn't mind being used as a chew toy if you don't really have another option. So occasionally, a member of Chaldea's Staff or Mash has walked in on you just gnawing on his arm while Cu looks unphased.

No one's really sure whether to ask him about it or just...keep going about their business like you aren't using Ireland's Child of Light like a dog toy. But hey, you're not growling at everybody as much.

Beowulf

Warning: Do not bite him. He will end up punching you out of instinct the moment you lunge for him and that's going to lead to a host of problems nobody wants.

The biting issue aside, he finds the growling a little bit funny. Even though it is a warning sign that you're about to sink your teeth into someone. If he catches you biting another servant he might laugh for a minute before separating you from them.

He might find you something sturdy to bite on if you need to chew really badly. He doesn't like seeing you in a bad mood, so if this helps you chill out he'll do what he can.

Vlad III (Berserker)

The growling is strangely adorable in his eyes. It's like watching a small puppy try and intimidate him. It's not scaring him, and he now has the urge to scratch you behind the ears.

Though if you ever decide to bite him, he's going to be confused at first. Do you have a craving for blood for some reason? You're definitely not a vampire, and he doesn't really have any blood that would do you any good.

He'll back off or get others who are upsetting you to back off once he starts hearing you begin to growl. He doesn't show it much, but he doesn't like you being that upset. So he'll make sure you get the space to calm down before seeing what the problem is, and you'll work on it together.

[rawbiredbest]

I played Abyss mode for about three hours

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #157

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making Emiya Alter! No, not that one, the one they gave a really dumb nickname to.

Anyway, Demiya is a Vengeance Paladin to take down anyone who would threaten humanity (and protect himself from mind control nonsense) as well as a Hexblade Warlock to project whatever blades he might need straight into enemies. I know he made the deal with Alaya, but it made him good with swords, so it’s probably fine.

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Man’s worst nightmare

Race and Background

Despite your arguments to the contrary, you’re still a Human, giving you +1 Strength and +1 Dexterity. You also get proficiency in Insight to be a better investigator, and the Fighting Initiate feat, because paladins don’t get the Archery fighting style normally. This gives you +2 on ranged weapon attacks.

What was it that turned you to the path of Alterness? Whatever it was, it made you a Haunted One, giving you proficiency with Investigation and Arcana, as well as a healthy hatred for anything Kiara-based.

Ability Scores

You’re good with guns and small swords, plus you fight shirtless, so make sure your Dexterity is as high as possible. Second is going to be Charisma. You’re a pretty scary guy, we need it for multiclassing,and it’ll help you shoot good later. Your Wisdom is also pretty good, thanks to your built-in mental protection. You’re too affected by your Alterfication to get affected by anything else. Your Strength isn’t that bad, you do use melee weapons too at times and we also need it for multiclassing, but your Constitution is rather low. Kintsugi is very pretty, but it’s not a great way to build a person. Finally, we’re dumping Intelligence. It’s less that you’re dumb, more that you just absolutely don’t care about stuff enough to get scholarly on most subjects.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Paladins get better hit dice and the martial weapons we need for that Fighting Initiate we got, so we’re kinda stuck starting there. First level paladins get proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as two paladin skills. Intimidation is pretty self-explanatory, but you also get Athletics. Look, you’ve got pretty good abs, they had to come from somewhere.

You also get a Divine Sense, letting you sense threats to humanity nearby, and Lay on Hands for a bit of free healthcare for you or whoever else you touch. You get 5 hp of healing per paladin level per long rest, and you can use 5 points from that amount to heal a poison or disease.

Yeah, first level isn’t particularly in-character, but it’ll get better later.

2. Paladin 2: Second level paladins get another Fighting Style, so grab Close Quarters Shooter from the underdark UA for sick melee ranged attacks. This negates the disadvantage caused by making a ranged attack near hostiles, your ranged attacks ignore all but full cover, and you get another +1 to ranged attack rolls.

You also learn how to cast an prepare Spells using your Charisma. You can either use your new spell slots for, y’know, spells, or for a Divine Smite to add on extra radiant damage to a melee attack. Ranged attacks in melee range don’t count, sadly.

As far as prepared spells go, Detect Evil and Good can help hunt down baddies, ditto with Protection from Evil and Good. 

3. Paladin 3: At third level, you can at long last devote yourself to Vengeance!, giving you the spells Bane to trip up foes and Hunter’s Mark to stick some serious damage onto your enemies over time. You also get Channel Divinity once per short rest that you can use in two ways.

Abjure Enemy spends an action to force a wisdom save (DC 8+charisma mod+proficiency) or one creature is frightened for up to a minute or until it takes damage. While frightened, it can’t move. On a success, the creature’s speed is halved for a minute or until it takes damage.

Alternatively, you can swear a Vow of Enmity as a bonus action, giving you advantage on attacks against a nearby creature for a minute or until it hits 0 hp.

You also get Divine Health, making you immune to disease. Like half your body is gold, it’s not like sniffles are a big concern at this point.

4. Paladin 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Crossbow Expert feat. There’s a lot of overlap with Close Range Shooter, but you can now attack multiple times per turn with a crossbow, and you can use your bonus action to attack with a hand crossbow if you attack with a one-handed weapon with your main action. Unfortunately, that’s the one kind of crossbow that won’t work with warlocks, but for now it’s fine.

5. Paladin 5: Fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack, letting you attack twice per turn anyway! Making great use of feat you just got.

You also learn second level spells! Your freebies are Hold Person and Misty Step. Admittedly neither are really in character for you, but if you want to power game Hold Person gives you guaranteed critical hits on the held person, which is super busted when combined with your smites. Food for thought.

Otherwise you can use Magic Weapon and other smites to make normal swords into fancy magic swords.

6. Warlock 1: Bouncing over to warlock for a bit puts you in a pact with an even fancier magic weapon: a Hexblade. You might not have a soul any more, but you do have a Hexblade’s Curse, which you can put on one unlucky bastard as a bonus action once per short rest. The target’s cursed for 1 minute, during which: You add your proficiency to damage against the target, crit on 19s, and you gain HP equal to your warlock level+your charisma modifier when they die.

You also become a Hex Warrior, turning one non-two handed weapon into a charisma based weapon instead of dexterity or strength. You can also use this on any kind of weapon made with your pact weapon feature later.

Finally, you get Pact Magic, which is pretty similar to your old magic except it recharges on short rests instead of long ones. While the spell slots don’t blend like other multiclassing builds, you can use warlock slots to cast paladin spells and vice versa.

Speaking of warlock spells, you get Eldritch Blast to summon gunfire and Sword Burst to summon swords right into people. You also get Cause Fear because that’s most people’s natural reaction to you and Expeditious Retreat to stay in archery range. Just because you can fight in melee range doesn’t mean you should.

7. Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations. Like usual, we’re saving one for level three, but you still get Armor of Shadows now for free Mage Armor on yourself. Now you can finally rip your shirt off and make Kintoki jealous!

You also learn Comprehend Languages. Alaya probably wouldn’t drop you off in someplace without giving you the language to get around, right? Right?

8. Warlock 3: Your pact boon, as you can probably guess, is the Pact of the Blade, letting you summon pretty much any melee weapon you could want as an action. It also counts as magic for overcoming resistance, making the Magic Weapon thing from earlier pointless.

That invocation we were saving becomes Improved Pact Weapon, which expands your pact weapon choices to pretty much any ranged weapon you could want and it gives any weapon you make +1 to attacks and damage.

Honestly there aren’t that many second level spells that I think really fit Emiya as a warlock, but Blur is nice. If you’re going to be nameless, you might as well be faceless too, I guess.

9. Paladin 6: Going back to paladin for a bit lets you create an Aura of Protection, adding your charisma modifier to any save you or allies within 10′ of you make. It’s not an enormous buff, but a +2 is a +2, take what you get.

10. Paladin 7: Seventh level vengeance paladins are Relentless Avengers. When you hit a creature with an attack of opportunity, you can move half your speed as part of the reaction an ignore opportunity attacks. Like a lot of paladin goodies, this doesn’t pair well with your guns, but you do have swords as well.

11. Paladin 8: Another ASI at last! Bump up your Charisma for better saves and spells.

12. Warlock 4: Use this ASI to become Tough for an extra 24 HP now and another 2 each level. If you want to get in close, you’d better be able to take a hit. Also, you’re part gold. Sure it’s a soft metal, but it’s still a metal. That’s worth a few HP.

You also learn True Strike because I’m really hoping you’re aiming those things, and Shadow Blade for yet another sword you can summon.

13. Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get another invocation and a third level spell. Spirit Shroud makes all your swords a little bit sharper, dealing extra damage to and slowing down creatures in a 10′ radius. You also get Eldritch Smite, which burns through warlock slots to deal extra force damage, and can be used with ranged weapons.

14. Paladin 9: Ninth level paladins also get third level spells, like Haste which adds to your AC, bumps up your speed, and gives you and extra action for the duration. When the spell ends you have to take a turn to chill, but it’s totally worth it. You also get Protection from Energy, which... I mean if someone’s throwing around acid arrows, yeah go for it. Otherwise you can get more smites and Elemental Weapon for more fancy weapons.

15. Paladin 10: Tenth level paladins get an Aura of Courage, preventing allies in it from being frightened. I’d be more worried about charms, but honestly your wisdom save is pretty good at this point.

16. Paladin 11: Your Improved Divine Smite means you can add radiant damage to melee attacks even when you have no spell slots to burn; unfortunately that’s still just melee attacks, not ranged attacks.

17. Paladin 12: At seventeenth level you can finally use this ASI to bump your Charisma up past the point where your dexterity started, meaning your attaks finally get a bit more accurate thanks to being a Hex Warrior. This also bumps up your spell effectiveness and all your saves.

18. Paladin 13: Thirteenth level paladins get fourth level spells, like Banishment and Dimension Door. You also get access to yet another new smite for yet another new sword.

19. Paladin 14: Your last mainline paladin goodie is a Cleansing Touch, spending an action to end a spell affecting yourself or a willing creature charisma mod times per long rest. You’d think this anti-Kiara protection is coming late, but to be honest you probably should be level 20 to take on a Beast of Humanity.

20. Paladin 15: Your capstone level makes you a Soul of Vengeance, letting you make opportunity attacks on a creature affected by your Vow of Enmity if they try to attack anyone. Again, this only affects melee attacks.

Pros:

Mixing your Hexblade’s Curse and Vow of Enmity together means you’re really good at dealing crits with basically four times the odds of critical attacks each attack compared to your regular fighter. This is especially good for a character that can double smite like you can, dealing serious burst damage easily.

You also deal consistent damage with a +14 to hit and several different ways to stick more damage onto your attacks, like the afforementioned curse, Hunter’s Mark, or Spirit Shroud.

Thanks to your warlock slots recharging on short rests, you can go ham on smites a bit more than most people could, making your Unlimited Lost Works available to you more than other paladins.

Cons:

You’re a paladin specializing in ranged attacks. Admittedly the only things really making you a ranged fighter are your fighting styles, which can easily be changed, but if you’re playing to character you’ll find it a bit harder to use your paladin features.

Another reason staying at range is a good idea is your Concentration saves are really bad, with a total of +0 and no way to improve them.

Starting as a paladin but then adding in hexblade later means you have something of an awkward beginning, with your first couple ASIs not really contributing much to your character, with those first few mostly making up for your weaknesses rather than playing to your strengths.

[xenodile]

You know who the Great Oni SHOULD have been?  Ibaraki’s mother.  This event should have been the finale of Kintoki, Ibaraki, Shuten, and Raikou’s character arcs.

The Oniland singularity appears, Guda brings in Kintoki, Raikou and Ibaraki to assist since they’re the foremost experts on oni, and Shuten is nowhere to be found.

Ibaraki and Raikou are vitriolic towards each other but Kintoki manages to keep them from killing each other and focused on the goal.  They arrive in Oniland and they’re all bewildered because oni don’t act like this, nothing about this matches their perceptions of oni.  That’s when Magical Girl Shuten shows up and explains her schtick, says that the mysterious Great Oni created these weirdly subservient oni and is controlling them.

Great Oni reveals herself and it’s Ibaraki’s mother.  Ibaraki, conditioned by years of abuse, reflexively shuts down and at the Great Oni’s order, turns on Chaldea.  Guda, Raikou, Kintoki, and Shuten retreat, meet up with Sitonai, who explains that the Kamui’s Gold is what’s empowering the Great Oni.  Shuten gives some exposition about Ibaraki’s mother since up til now that lore has been confined to the material books.

Fighting attraction managers to get gold fragments can stay, but there’s more substance to it.  The purpose of Oniland is to lure in and trap humans, indulging their desires until they are transformed into oni and join the park’s staff, and Oniland will continue to grow until there are no humans, only oni.

Shuten talks again about how Ibaraki’s life was Like That because her mother wanted to ensure the survival and prosperity of oni and the destruction of humanity, and raised Ibaraki to be an ideal ruler for oni, but Shuten’s death at Kintoki’s hand ultimately ruined that plan, and Oniland is her new strategy.

Kintoki and Shuten have an aside where Kintoki questions Shuten about what her game is, because she’s never been this chill and easy to be around before, and she talks about how interacting with Guda and Tomoe has forced her to question her lifestyle and make some changes, and she’s decided she wants to try being something she chooses to be, rather than let her nature control her.

Raikou gets an aside with Guda, where she talks about hearing what Ibaraki’s been through and Oniland itself makes her question everything she knew about oni, and by extension, how she feels about herself.  Her father hated her for being “born wrong” and raised her to be a weapon for human prosperity, just as Ibaraki’s mother abused her to make her into a weapon for oni prosperity.

Final attraction manager is Ibaraki, empowered by the largest gold fragment, back in her raid boss form.  The fight is mostly Ibaraki backpedaling and shrugging off attacks without fighting back, because the Great Oni decreed that oni are now “beings that attend the park guests” and she’s trying to be what the Great Oni told her to be to the letter.  Guda, Kintoki, Raikou, and Shuten each take turns reassuring Ibaraki that she doesn’t have to be what anyone tells her to anymore, that they love her for who she is and whatever she chooses to be, that the Great Oni is wrong and she deserved a better life.

Chaldea gets through to Ibaraki, recovers the gold fragment, and Ibaraki switches to Lancer Ascension 3, saying something to the effect of “If I can be whatever I want, I want to be a hero!!” and then they take the fight to the Great Oni, Raikou goes Apeshit no Jutsu because how dare she do that to her own daughter, it’s a mother duty to protect her children but Ibaraki’s mother caused her nothing but pain.  Shuten tag teams with Raikou and they have a moment of “I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but we can agree that this bitch needs to die for what she’s done.”

Ibaraki gets the killing blow and gets a cathartic victory moment, Sitonai collects the remaining gold and returns it to where it belongs, and Shuten smiles and teases Ibaraki telling her that now she’s finally doing what she wants solely because it’s what she wants, she’s more like an oni than she ever was in life, and Ibaraki for the first time says that she’s happy to be an oni.

Then we get an epilogue back in Chaldea where Shuten and Ibaraki are back to their usual spirit origins, and Raikou is doting on Kintoki, and they have a moment together where Raikou doesn’t mind that Shuten is getting so close to Kintoki, and Ibaraki isn’t bothered by being around humans.

[lamouratorrrrry]

day off

[haskamadoneanythingwrong]

Hi Kira! It's Quin (from hasbbdone...)

Thoughts on Suzuka Gozen, King hassan, Raiko, and Tristan?

Suzuka Gozen

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Not a fan of her JK acting but I can appreciate a good fox with interesting lore. Too bad it's hard to find info on her that's in English

King Hassan

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

I'm gonna say it. I would absolutely marry the skeleton man. He's a chill dude and I like him. Idk what else to say. I unfortunately dont have him ;-;

Raikou

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Raikou is reallyyyyy I enjoy her writing WHEN ITS TAKEN SERIOUSLY when she's just a haha mommy milkers joke its uhhhh but I love the lore pertaining to her and WHY she acts like this towards kintoki and I LOVE the humans vs monsters and monsters that act humans and humans that act like monsters and how they deny pieces of themself that they deem monstrous thing that the entire gang have (Raikou, Shuten, Iba, Kintoki, Tsuna)

Tristan

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Tristan is really good. I like him from a lore stand point and sometimes he's funny but I just.... so many characters in fgo become jokes and why is Tristan one of them ;-;

[rukia-writes]

Where is the Sakata love?!

He came too early in my opinion, because he was over shadowed by Buddha, Hades and Siegfried. DONT get it twisted tho! Kintoki has his fanbase and they are really chill. Plus! After a round most fans just care about who is going next, that’s just how it is.

Don’t worry he’ll get his hype.

[tikoy]

Kinktober 2020 Day 15

Day 15: Massage

Series: FGO

Lancer Cu Chulainn x unnamed gender neutral master

Warnings: Nightmare mention, swearing

Rating: Explicit

--

Dense purple fog piled in around us, limiting visibility. I called out to my servants, trying to make sure we weren’t separated, but I could hardly make out their figures. I kept calling their names: Mash, Jekyll, Mordred, Shakespeare, Andersen, Tamamo, and Kintoki. I repeated them like a mantra, my own personal chant to fight off the growing dread. Not a single voice answered back. Desperate, I ran forward, hoping that they’d merely gotten too far for them to hear my voice. My legs felt shaky, heavy with fear. I stumbled and bashed my knees against cobblestones. I hissed through the pain, looking around for whatever tripped me.

“Mash?!”

Her figure lay crumpled on the ground. Her shield broken in half. I grabbed her shoulders and shook, but nothing happened. Her eyes remained closed, her breathing faint. No matter what I did, she remained unresponsive. Moonlight peeked  from in between the clouds, illuminating the area. All around us were the bodies of the servants I’d called out to. All of them lay on their ground with their weapons shattered to pieces. I whimpered, blinking back tears . Dread piled in heavily, squeezing my chest until it hurt to breathe. Ominous, raucous laughter echoed. The moonlight vanished and I was left in the dark. My instincts screamed at me to get up and run, but my limbs hung limp. I felt a familiar presence approach, with all its oppressive power and malice.

“I found you, foolish Master of Chaldea.”

I woke up panting and covered in sweat, sheets tangled around my limbs. I stared up at the ceiling in my dimly-lit room, but each time I blinked I saw flashes of my dream. My heart still beat wildly in my chest. I trembled, even as I repeatedly whispered to myself that it was just a dream. Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close against a warm body. I gazed up to see Cu’s sleepy face, his eyes barely open. Rough hands swept hair away from my forehead before soft lips pressed kisses against my clammy skin. I snuggled further, doing my best to relax. His scent was calming, bringing to mind forests and meadows brightly lit by the afternoon sun. I wrapped my arms around him, burying myself even deeper in him.

When my breathing had evened out and I no longer shook, he broke the silence.

“It’s that London dream again, huh?” he asked, his voice still raspy with sleep.

“Y-yeah. Sorry for waking you,” I murmured.

“I’m used to worse conditions, don’t worry.” He pressed another kiss against my forehead. “Just frustrated that I can’t really help with that… Can’t fight against a dream with my spear.”

I smiled. “Having you here with me helps me lots already, Cu. You help me calm down.”

“Eh. If you’re happy with that, it’s fine I guess.” He yawned. “Ready to go back to sleep?”

“I think I’ll do a bit of stretching first and then change my clothes.” I pulled away from his hug and kicked the sheets away. “I’m still a bit tense and keyed up.”

“Mmm. Want a massage instead?” he offered.

I raised a brow at him. He’d never brought up anything like this before. “Since when did you know how to massage?” I asked, prodding at his chest. “I didn’t know you were interested in things like that.”

He shrugged. “Heard some of the staff complaining about stiff shoulders and wanting a massage, so I looked into it. Seemed a good thing to learn for future missions, and it was interesting I guess.”

“Have you massaged other people before?”

“Well, I gave old man Fergus a shoulder massage the other day. He seemed to like it. Told me to use more force though.”

I shuddered. “Please use minimal force on me… I’m not built like he is…”

He laughed and ruffled my hair. “Sure thing, Master! Now, strip!”

“You’re just using this as an excuse to get me naked, aren’t you~” I teased. “I see through your plot.”

I sat up to pull my shirt off, and shivered as the chill touched my bare chest. I caught him staring and smirked. His red eyes were half-lidded as he stared me down. He always had this way about him that forced me to focus solely on him. Nothing else existed in the moment but us two.

He crawled over and gripped the garter of my shorts. “I’m a simple man,” he stated. “I see someone hot. They want me. I want them. Clothes go off.” He pulled the fabric down my legs, dragging my underwear down with it. “Nothing much to it.”

He gave me a once-over, showing a toothy grin that sent delicious shivers down my spine. I bit my lip and grinned back. There was no way I wasn’t getting fucked tonight. He made me sit cross-legged on the bed while he stayed behind me. His hands descended on my shoulders, squeezing and rubbing against the sore spots. I groaned as the tension slowly eased out of my body. He was good, remarkably so. He carefully eased out the knots that had formed on my upper back and neck. I started to feel boneless, ready to collapse against him. His fingers drifted towards the front, flicking and squeezing at my nipples. I grabbed his hands, trying to pull them away.

“H-Hey, my chest isn’t tense. No need to do that,” I complained half-heartedly.

“Really? But these are getting awfully stiff,” he muttered, pinching my nipples for emphasis. “Might need a bit of stroking to help them relax.”

He pulled me onto his lap. His naked erection pressed insistently against me. He continued to rub and squeeze, rolling the stiff buds between his fingertips. Kisses rained down on my neck as I squirmed. I moved my hips, rubbing against his erection. He groaned out my name and bit down my neck. I gripped his hair, ran my hands across his scalp and tugged whenever he bit too harshly. After he released my neck, he started nibbling at my ear. My hips continued to move, building up the pace. My arousal throbbed and tingled. My hands drifted down to relieve some of the heat.

“Need me to massage that too?” he whispered. “Got something that’ll feel better than your fingers.”

He lay me on my back and spread my legs. He stuck two fingers in his mouth, staring into my eyes as he sucked. He then pressed the slicked fingers against my opening, teasing and prodding it open. I gripped at the sheets and took slow breaths to relax as he pushed the fingers in. I closed my eyes as he started to probe and spread his fingers apart. Heat started to build as he continued to rub against a particular bundle of nerves.

“It’s all soft and tight, Master,” he growled. “All nice and wet and hungry for a big fat dick.”

I managed a chuckle and glanced up to watch his expression. His mouth was pulled up to a savage grin and his eyes were hazy with lust. “Well, get over here then and fuck me, Cu.”

He growled and lifted my legs over his shoulders. His dick plunged inside me in one smooth motion. I moaned at the familiar fullness. He made a few shallow thrusts, growling each time I clenched around him, before increasing the pace. I bit my lip and glared. He smirked. My pleasure was spiking. I wouldn’t last long. He knew what I liked. I pulled him down, crashing my lips against his, in hopes of delaying the inevitable. Our tongues swirled around one another, fighting for dominance. I tangled my fingers in his hair again and pulled. He groaned and bucked harshly.

“Are you going to cum now, Master? My dick’s making you feel that good, huh?”

I opened my mouth to reply but his thrusts turned rapid. I whined and writhed, but there was no escape. My release bloomed and burst, coating everything in a haze. I twitched and shuddered, waiting for the sensations to fade to no avail. Cu continued to fuck me through my climax, heedless of how sensitive my walls were. Pain and pleasure entwined within me with each thrust. Within minutes, I was well on my way to my second climax. My eyes watered as I praised and cursed his name. I reached out to pull him close again, but my hand trembled and fell mid-way. He grabbed hold of it and pressed it to his mouth, leaving harsh bites against the skin. I squeezed his grip as I came, holding on to him as I crashed.

I gasped out his name as he continued to move. I coiled tight around him at each thrust. Each little movement was electrifying. He swept his hair back. His eyes were almost black and his mouth was clenched in a snarl. He looked near-feral now, like a great beast that had finally cornered its prey. It was terrifying. It was thrilling. It turned me on so damn much. I keened as he ravaged me, squeezing out each droplet of pleasure left unspent. His teeth found my neck, biting down harshly as he came.

We lay curled against one another, utterly spent. There was no tension left in me now, only a boneless sense of completion and exhaustion. He brushed his hand against my face.

“Master, I’m not good with anything that doesn’t involve fighting. I can’t make those dreams go away. But I swear on my spear that I won’t let that happen again. I ain’t letting us feel helpless in front of that bastard again.”

I smiled back at him. “I’m counting on you.”

“Next time, I’m stabbing that bastard in the ass!”

--

[fgodestinyawakenings]

Most scariest female servant ranked : Jeanne Archer(onne chan beam) , BBhotep , All the foreigner(except MHXX) , Kiara , Kama , Salome , Serenity , Shuten , Brynhildr , Raikou and the queen of them all Kiyohime

I remember Jeanne’s case was more of during the Summer event hence that scariness... Foreigners are definitely scary, including how probably one of them knows the Alien God, or they themselves are weaker than it. Though BB’s case is more of her trying to make herself scary but not that much since it’s more of a kid doing practical joke

Kiara, Kama, oh hell yes, but I feel Kiara is more scarier compared to Kama to me at least. That whole singularity was just spine-chilling once she appears

Salome.... I haven’t seen her appear yet, so still early, except someone need to have her social distance like one end of earth to another away from Gudas. But Shuten will be somewhere right below Kiara, I find her more threatening yet right now... She seems pretty chill since Gudas are sort of good entertainment to her, and there’s Kintoki for her to mess around with. And her rumored true form, is what got me interested

Serenity + Brynhildr: I find these two ok, and not even scary at all. Probably after reading Prototype story, I feel a lot of sympathy and just hope they find their happiness in Chaldea... Away from Manaka please

Lastly Raikou and Kiyohime, I’ll agree for Kiyohime. And Raikou feels like scary mom if you actually become a disobedient child, example with Kintoki *cough*, but otherwise if her berserker side don’t go yandere there... She’s your nice mom?

[klonoadreams]

Both achilles and chiron have been ducking my calls, but I managed to get almost all the event ces mlbd. Not only that, but I got spooked by a gold rider card, sparks and everything, and it turNED OUT TO BE MARTHA. WHO IS NOW NP4

Yo, I’ve been using my Martha since I got her during like...I think Christmas?? anyways, she’s the rider I always needed for Tiddy Account (not ignoring Kintoki, I just feel Martha has better BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU energy, while Mama Raikou can coddle her son after each farming session).

ANYWAYS, this event is SUPER fucking easy to get through, we’re only THREE days into this event, and look at how far most of us have gotten, if we were farming with the raids.

The Raids are SO good. Like...I maxed out my Waver because of this event. I am making back my QP, it’s GREAT.

Just keep that energy up so y’all can chill during the down time after the raids are done with.

(that aside, I can understand that feel of a spook. That’s what it felt when I goT Achilles instead of Odysseus, LIKE WRONG RIDER ASSHOLE)