#kingsman logo

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

I’m back from a short girls’ trip to Taipei, and it was unexpectedly very Pedro coded ❤️

We went to this Kingsman themed speakeasy, which looks like a tailor from the outside, and has a secret entrance into the bar behind the mirror!

You can see a glimpse of me in the mirror 🙈 More adventures beneath the cut.

For my Palomino girlies, we went to the only whiskey distillery in Taiwan. It was my first time at a distillery and I loved it! Three guesses what I was thinking about looking at all the casks.

And the cherry on top of the cake - the distillery makes a beer called Buckskin 🥹

To wrap it up, my brain went brrrrr every time I saw the Lakers logo when shopping.

[kingsmint]

UHH WHAT?!? MY KINGSMAN STICKER SHEETS ARE ARRIVING TOMORROW?!?

THATS CRAZY?!!

[bradenthompson]

Insurgent (2015) notes

Give Divergent (2014) this: I did immediately put on the sequel.

>iirc, I bought a ticket to this movie opening weekend, for the purposes of sneaking into a screening of Kingsman: the Secret Service. So I'm partly implicit in this movie being #1 at that weekend's box office.

>by 2015, Lionsgate had acquired Summit Entertainment, further consolidating their power in the bloody history of YA Movie Feudalism. This is important because at the top of Insurgent is a splash logo for Summit subsidiary International Distribution Company LLC, touters of maybe the worst splash logo of all time. Looks like a PS2 game, but like, the ones made when the PS3 was already out.

>also producing is one Red Wagon Entertainment, the production name for one Douglas Wick, producer for all three Divergent movies as well as 2005's Jarhead and Memoirs of a Geisha. So if you want someone to blame for these movies never concluding, well, he's a name that's public.

>Winslet says "...by dividing people based on personality and aptitude..." which goes against what I understood Faction Society to be. Citizens self-select their factions, don't they? Or is forced division a new thing since the Great Beatrice Crisis

>It'd be really funny if Kate Winslet is only seen on computer screens for the entirety of this movie. Just rolled up to the bluescreen studio and knocked out her role in one day

>I miss Jai Courtney. Haven't seen him in a movie for a while. Bro wasn't phoning it in, unlike some of this cast

>New director for this one! Robert Schwentke, also responsible for RED, R.I.P.D., the yet to be seen Allegiant, and Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins (a movie that--get ready for this--I've seen)

>RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>lil pissbaby Ansel doesn't get a cool Dauntless jacket lol get fukked bud

>Katniss also started her sequel with the lingering consequences of taking a life, Beatrice. One of you is gonna have to change

>ain't no goddamn way they filmed Divergent 2 with the IMAX cameras

>too many movies feed teenagers the lie of chopping your own hair and having it come out salon-layered and photogenic.

>am I supposed to call him Four or Tobias, because the former is funnier

>"How long do we have to stay here" Bea are you for real

>aw dammit Winslet's in the flesh

>secret box, secret box, secret box, secret box

>gonna start making guesses at what's in the box now and pray they reveal it before the end of this movie a. letter from the founders saying factions are a load of bullshit b. key to door that will be opened in Divergent 3 c. contract buyouts for the whole cast when this series fails to conclude

>"I really don't know how much longer I can do this whole peace and love thing." Truer words wrt Beatrice have never been spoken. She pops more heads in one movie than most YA girls do in a trilogy of books

>Miles Teller is silly now.

>"wait, we're fugitives?" Ansel, what the fuck did you think was happening here?

>"we need to find out what happened to the other Dauntless" presumably stayed in the city, Four, you beautiful cinder block of a man. They certainly didn't run off with you--I would know, I just watched the first movie like two hours ago

>"we need to kill Jeannine" TALK YOUR SHIT BEA

>lmaoo Miles Teller is such a dick, Beatrice is a psycho, this movie's gonna rule ass

>love how Amity has roads but the villain trucks just run over the fences anyway

>the dominant trait of Amity is politeness, which I feel runs counter to what's historically known about the agricultural complex

>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (people who have seen Insurgent know what I'm talking about)

>save money on set design with a little bit of the ol' RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>do you think Ansel was directed to run like a geek or is that just how he is

>man I hope Veronica Roth eventually got to jump on a moving train irl. Seems like a big fantasy of hers, next to sharing needles (incidentally, injection count's still at zero)

>who could ever dislike Beatrice. She breaks arms. She kicks women out of trains to be crushed under the wheels. She bites hands and doesn't afraid of anything

>Four's mom lives in a haunted house lol

>shut up Ansel (I've said this out loud four times, we're thirty minutes in)

>Divergents fit into every faction, like a faction avatar of sorts, and by that token the factionless don't fit into any faction, ergo they are the worst people. With you so far, movie

>hey what's the absolute weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>hey what's the second weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>we have just received mention of administering a truth system, bringing our injection counter dubiously up to one

>so every faction can hold their own trials? Is that what Four's talking about? Is the Dauntless trial just Thunderdome?

>injection counter now decisively up to 1

>the Divergent series doesn't have a love triangle and thus doesn't have any teams other than Team Four but I'm gonna be Team Miles Teller just to be a pissant

>injection counter: 2

>Candor man asks "did you harm anyone" to which Beatrice, under the effects of truth serum, says "my mom," which literally is not true. Then again, maybe the truth isn't a divine thing, rather whatever the serumee believes to be true. Beatrice could be telling the truth as she believes--ie. putting her mom in the position to be shot is as good as killing her herself. So could a totally delusional person invalidate the serum by just believing incorrect things? Discuss with your table.

>Maybe Beatrice should've objected to Four's "neither of us have secrets worth hiding" thing

>"people get hurt when they get close to me" objection, your honor?? Conjecture???? why is truth serum making her say this????????? Again, I think truth serum has a big flaw someone should reformulate

>what's in the box? d. a ceremonial dagger whose holder gets to be King of Earth e. map to the rest of civilization f. the Allegiant book ie. the scene in Spaceballs where they fastforward the movie

>Divergents are special, but some Divergents are more special-er than others. What the fuck does that mean

>Four has a way of flying in from offscreen for stealth attacks. Refuse to believe he's capable of this. Giant, pretty tree, him. Ain't creepin up on nobody

>Jai Courtney we hardly knew Yai Courtney🙏

>what a fool I was to attempt an injection counter when I should've been doing a popped collar counter

>Beatrice wearing a tactical vest and nothing else; I like her style

>"I'm gonna kill Miles Teller!" "okay" lmao

>nine injections in one scene, talk about a buzzer beater

>back to the simulation fakeouts. Still momentarily fun

>still don't think admitting to insecurities should count as Candor. If anything that should be Dauntless

>Beatrice realizing Four's not actually there by him referencing a line from a scene he wasn't in? Cool idea. Don't think Beatrice had to reiterate that, but it's cool

>women in movies love taking showers while holding some random step of the Macarena

>shut up Ansel

>injection count: 12 (I'm counting all the simulation probes separately) (btw: injection count 21)

>good on them for keeping the "breaking glass barriers" motif for all the big "she's a Divergent" moments. Someone on the storyboard team wants senpai to notice. And I did

>so... am I to understand that Kwinslet unknowngly shut herself out of the box by putting Beatrice in a position where she can't act on her Amity-worthy kindness? I'm not ruling out this scene possibly being a longform fakeout. These movies have set a precedent

>Miles Teller Best Character

>injection count: 30. Allegiant's gonna need a miracle to beat this record

>I did predict Beatrice eventually scrapping with a shadow clone by means of self-discovery. Did not predict the video game graphics.

>Beatrice The Cooler Beatrice

>Beatrice should try the ducking in the corner trick, bug out Evil Beatrice's AI

>taking one more guess at what's in the box, for ol' times sake g. incomplete coordinates. Allegiant is about getting the rest of the coordinates, we never find out because they never finished these movies

>okay I was... almost correct? first answer was almost correct. It's a message from outside the city. If I have this right, the whole Faction Society was just a prank bro a social experiment with the goal of creating Divergents, and their greater purpose will be revealed in the next movie, or maybe not because they didn't finish them

>approximately how much time passed between movies? Kwinslet still has a bandage from Beatrice stabbing her hand. Has it been a week? I'm gonna imagine both movies are set over a week.

>Four's mom taking a little too much credit for this

>if Beatrice and Kwinslet don't get their ultimate deathmatch by the end of these I'm eternal sunshining this series from my head

>Faction Society only needed one "you guys can leave" message and everyone packs their bags, lmao. Solid as a rock

>BOO FOUR'S MOM, DENY ME MY THUNDERDONE

I'm clapping folks, I'm sitting at my desk and clapping. That was way better than the first movie, wtf is imdb talking about. We got Punished Venom Beatrice, Miles Teller talkin his shit, the number one cause of death is shooting in the head, YA Sequel Haircuts, Royal Blood at the end which isn't a great band but they bring some much needed oomph to this soundtrack. You'll take Veronica Roth's needles and jumping on trains from her cold dead hands. What is it with 2010s YA trilogies and the second movie being the best one, and why am I the only one who holds this obviously correct opinion? Glad I bought a ticket to this movie in 2015 and didn't watch it for eight years. Bring on movie three, I crave that total deflation.

[kleinnasredes]

Shazam é uma divertida comédia de super-heróis que vale sua visita

Não é à toa que Shazam está há duas semanas em primeiro lugar nas bilheterias norte-americanas, prestes a ultrapassar a barreira dos 100 milhões de dólares. O filme tem tudo para figurar entre as mais bem sucedidas adaptações da DC para o cinema. Em grana, mesmo. Está prestes a ultrapassar a barreira dos 100 milhões em bilheteria só nos Estados Unidos.

Sou velho o suficiente para ter visto, quando criança, o seriado na tevê. Passava junto com Poderosa Ísis e, se não me engano, ainda era ‘Capitão Marvel’ (nome que gera muita confusão, afinal é um herói da DC com o nome da principal rival. A mudança de nome é um assunto à parte sobre o qual vou falar no final deste texto…).

Não me lembro de rir tanto quando era criança. Mas no cinema, no último fim de semana, tive um ataque de riso que deixou minha namorada envergonhada de estar comigo. O tom do filme é, todo, muito irônico e surreal, uma brincadeira muito divertida. O filme inteiro tem humor permeando todas as situações. Afinal, é um garoto de 14 anos no corpo de um adulto mas mantendo a mentalidade e a maturidade de um moleque…

Ah, a história. As histórias, aliás. São várias. Tem a clássica história do super-herói e sua luta contra o vilão que também tem superpoderes. Esse mesmo conflito tem uma outra história por trás, que é a relação desses dois com suas “famílias”. O vilão, Dr. Thadeus Silvana, odeia a família. O menino, Billy, se perdeu da mãe ainda criança e perambula de abrigo em abrigo, sempre cometendo pequenos delitos e com um único foco: encontrar a mãe. Acaba descobrindo uma nova família em um abrigo comandado por um casal também ex-abrigado (o cara parece o Barry White, juro. Fiquei esperando ele começar um ‘Let the music play’) e com cinco irmãos.

Os dois personagens principais — Billy/Shazam e Dr. Silvana — são ligados por um mago que está há centenas de anos em uma caverna, aparentemente tomando conta de sete estátuas que, na verdade, são os sete pecados capitais petrificados. Ele está perdendo a força e logo os bichos vão conseguir se libertar. Ele quer um substituto que tenha coração puro. Testou centenas e centenas de crianças ao longo dos anos, sem sucesso. Uma dessas crianças era Thadeus Silvana, que foi descartado e passou o resto da vida obcecado com os poderes que viu lá.

Sem contar muito e para ir mais rápido: esses poderes acabam nas mãos do pequeno Billy, o garoto, que quando diz a palavra mágica — Shazam — se transforma em um adulto cheio de poderes como soltar eletricidade pelas mãos. Ele fica empolgado mas não sabe bem o que fazer com aquilo, já que é um moleque de 14 anos… Entre as tentativas de dar um sentido àquilo tudo, ele passa a se apresentar nas ruas soltando raios para ganhar esmolas…

É aí que aparece o Dr. Silvana, que já conseguiu também libertar os monstros dos pecados capitais (estão dentro dele) para tentar roubar de Billy os poderes do Shazam. E aí o filme segue uma estrutura mais tradicional, de luta entre o bem e o mal, até a conclusão que não é tão caótica quanto de costume. O elenco é outro ponto alto do filme: os garotos Asher Angel e principalmente Jack Dylan Grazer (de It), o protagonista Zachary Levi o excelente Mark Strong (de Kingsman) como vilão, a curta participação de Djimon Hounsou e até as crianças da família postiça de Billy. Estão todos ótimos.

Assistir a Shazam me deu, também, uma outra certeza: costumo não curtir filmes de super-heróis mas a maioria dos poucos que curti bastante (Superman 78, Homem de Aço, Batman Begins, entre poucos outros) é da DC e não da Marvel. Talvez seja porque, como não curto quadrinhos de heróis, os filmes da DC sejam mais ‘independentes’ das obras em que se baseiam. Para entender um filme da DC eu não preciso ter lido vinte arcos de histórias nem saber detalhes que só fãs hardcore sabem. Pra mim é melhor assim.

Tenho certeza de que, se houver continuações, a qualidade não será a mesma, porque o valor da surpresa, aqui, é muito importante. Mas torço para que elas aconteçam mesmo assim. Esse universo dos super-heróis precisa de mais humor, precisa despertar nosso lado criança.

[marbhastaigh]

Selfie and new tattoo. Sad face because I just woke up from a nap.

[franbottomley-blog]

Kingsman inspired reversible necklace and badge (polymer clay)

Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/FransArtDesign?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fransartdesign/

[shieldedreams]

a bit of vodka don’t hurt nobody (e.u.)

summary ⇾ in which you’re agent tequila’s sister, agent v... who eggsy’s smitten by the first encounter after being shot at with a tranquilizer. details ⇾ 2,048 words / eggsy unwin x agent!reader / 🌸 fluff, meet-cute (?) notes ⇾ agent v, for vodka :-) (all because i thought it was cute, lol. and it seemed fun to make the reader an agent in the statesman) reader calls agent tequila ‘t’ as he calls her ‘v’.

[!] spoilers to the second kingsman movie (if you haven’t seen!), sexual innuendos, slight change to the movie’s plot/details so definitely an au!

between you and your brother, he’s known to be more... brutal, with his advancements. even now as you watch him interrogate two people in suits from the two-way glass. things change drastically, however, when you receive a ping from ginger to stop agent tequila immediately! false alarm! your eyes widen from the message, especially when you glance up and your brother’s seconds away from putting a bullet to their friend’s head through another two-way mirror.

eggsy–despite seconds from getting his ass roasted on fire–and merlin are yelling at the top of their lungs for agent tequila to stop. the humorous side of things earlier quickly washes away from your system (it’s been a long time since anyone sassed your brother despite being the ones at his mercy) as you bust through the door.

“t, stop!”

agent tequila looks up, gaping at the sight of you but more so when ginger slides past to toss at him an umbrella. upon first glance, he thinks nothing of it, but it’s not until ginger points out: “their story checked out. i opened our doomsday locker and that umbrella was in it. it has our logo on it.”

you grab ahold of one of the two towels ginger brought in. while she’s helping wipe away the alcohol from merlin’s clothes, you’re doing the same for eggsy. maybe it’s the adrenaline, maybe it’s the shock but you blink up to him to catch him staring. the proximity would normally make any person blush but instead it makes you smile with the click of your tongue to snap him out of it. you move to stand beside your brother as he introduces the statesman, along with ginger ale’s position in the company, to himself as agent tequila and–”i’m agent v.”

eggsy lets the words fly out before he can hold himself back. 

“what does the v stand for?”

you scoff a laugh, crossing your arms, “how about you find out?”

eggsy raises a brow, “is that an invitation?”

you unfold your arms, jutting out one hand to grab onto tequila’s arm as he–”why i oughta smack you to your momma’s–”

“wouldn’t you like to see your friend?” ginger pipes in quickly, diffusing the situation before it escalates. tequila remembers the situation they’re in, glances at harry behind him. he exhales deeply and you let him go, patting his back as he turns away, taking his leave out of the room. merlin and eggsy’s gaze trail back to their friend in front of them, which eggsy says after, “this is the part where you untie us.”

//

hours later, you find yourself down at the bar with a glass of martini in your hands. news came around that tequila must’ve had a little bit too much fun that he now has blue veins showing up in his skin. sure, he’s a complete butthead but he’s still (and always will be) your brother. you’re staring at the mahogany in front of you, swirling the pattern with one finger as the chair next to you pulls open.

“is this seat taken?” a voice seemingly familiar asks. in an accent that you could read from a mile away especially after today’s turn of events. you shake your head and tip your glass to the side, “go for it.”

eggsy slides in next to you, requesting for a–”martini, please.”

it elicits a chuckle from you, to which eggsy’s pleased with.

“seems like i figured out what the v stands for,” his tone is playful and he sounds like a nice guy but you’d be a liar if you said you’re all dandy based on what happened in the last couple of hours. 

you turn to look at him and notice he’s in a different attire (of course he would, tequila dumped a good amount of rum on him). a black fitted t-shirt and black joggers, no glasses this time. he looks smart without even trying. on the other hand, eggsy tries not to show he’s fazed even if he’s slightly intimidated, or charmed, if you will. it might be a thing around here to wear a cowboy hat but on you, it seems elegant. the same coloured cowboy hat as the one he notices on agent tequila earlier, a white denim jacket, dark blue coloured top with matching denim jeans. the name ‘vodka’ has never been so fitting.

as he takes a sip of his drink, he notices how you’re not too chatty. it reminds him earlier of his conversation with ginger when he was in the hallway of medical rooms.

ginger’s going through some of the procedure matters and giving eggsy a tour around as they come to a stop in the middle of the hallway when eggsy stops walking. he spots you hurriedly making your way down, only to make a sharp left as you open and close the door, effectively disappearing. ginger notices eggsy’s attention has detoured that she lowers the clipboard in her hand, waiting for eggsy’s curiosity to surface.

“isn’t that agent tequila’s room?”

ginger nods. “yeah, it is. we’re currently keeping him there to monitor his body conditions.”

eggsy slides his hands into his pockets, head tilted slightly. then he turns to look at ginger with narrowed eyes, “is agent tequila and agent v... you know... romantically involved?”

ginger laughs, a proper laugh, too. the kind that almost makes eggsy feel like an idiot but ginger means no malice in her tone, which gets him to loosen up just a bit. “you’d better pray they don’t ever catch you saying that. they’re siblings.”

eggsy opens his mouth to respond but is left speechless when you reappear from the room. you turn to the side and notice both ginger and eggsy. he feels himself straightening automatically when you make your way towards them, offering a fist bump to ginger which seems like a normal casualty but when it came to him, your fist unfolds to a handshake.

“couldn’t give you a proper greeting when you were tied to a chair doused in rum but welcome to the statesman, eggsy.”

he knows this feeling well. the mask you put on just so you don’t slip any vulnerability through. the complexity of voiding your emotions to separate work from family... it wasn’t easy... so he goes along with it.

he reaches for your hand, grips onto it to give a good shake, “tied to a chair or not, it’s a pleasure to meet you, agent v. though, it hardly seems fair you know my name and i don’t know yours,”

you pull your hand back with a pleased smile, shrugging, “eh, that’s the price you pay for coming into our turf and mess with our 1963 reserve.”

eggsy scoffs, slowly putting his hand back into his pocket, “that was an accident.”

“and there’ll always be consequences.” 

at your own words, hearing them from yourself, eggsy and ginger can both see it struck a chord within yourself as it reflects almost too perfectly to your brother’s situation. you turn your attention to ginger this time, “keep me posted on his condition, will ya?”

ginger nods, “of course.”

you salute the two of them, effectively slipping past between them to get down the hallways and soon you’re turning left to disappear again.

in the midst of silence, eggsy half-appreciates how he doesn’t feel pressured to say anything. you have your drink, he has his. the two of you merely quietly appreciating each other’s company. at the very least, he’s enjoying yours. he musters up the courage to say something, in hopes it’ll ease your nerves.

“he’ll be okay,” that gets you to look up from your drink, but not at him just yet. “i mean, if he can take down two kingsman at once, he can surely overcome a virus.”

you down the rest of your drink before nudging the glass away, shaking your head. “you’d think he’d be smart enough to listen to me once in a while. guys and their egos.” reaching for the olive from your drink, you bite it off the toothpick before realising what you just said. you glance at him with an apologetic smile, “no offense.”

eggsy smiles in return, “none taken considering it’s true.”

after ditching the toothpick back into the glass, you loosely clasp your hands on the table, using a thumb to stroke over your other thumb gently. eggsy watches as you sit with your emotions, drinking in the atmospheric sounds. normally, he’s somewhat confident with his advancements but now, he’s uncertain of what to do. there’s a line he feels like he can’t cross, given the circumstances but he’s... tempted. as you turn to look at him, eyes to lips and back up to his eyes, he’s very tempted.

yet, he stops himself when you ask if you could borrow his shoulder and he welcomes it. carefully, he shifts his chair towards yours and allows for you to come into his space. he’s respectful with where he puts his hands, one over your shoulder, the other remaining atop the table as your head leans into his shoulder to rest.

he doesn’t say anything for the rest of the night and neither do you but... it felt like there was so much being exchanged without words; comfort, solace, protection all in one. and a bit of vodka, of course. both literally and... personally, in eggsy’s opinion.

vodka just might be eggsy’s new preferred alcohol.

((you manage to slip into the room eggsy’s in merely minutes before he’s supposed leave with agent whiskey. he’s stayed in one of the dormitory rooms–that ginger has graciously offered the information in exchange for putting in good word should she get the chance to get out the field.

you only knock once you’re inside, capturing his attention as he–”i said i’ll be out in a–”eggsy’s voice drowns out when he sees you standing there, hands behind your back with a crooked smile.

“hey,” eggsy ignores packing his bag, turning around to face you when you walk towards him. as you stand before him, you look up to him with a small smile, “could i repay the kindness you’ve shown me yesterday?”

by kindness, you’re referring to how you fell asleep on eggsy’s shoulder and he refused to wake you up until you came to yourself. he walked you back to your room and even though your hands were saying one thing, eggsy knows your heart was feeling another. the desperate need to find a distraction, doing something you’ll regret. eggsy peels your hands off him, kisses you on the cheek and closes your door for you get some rest, love.

now when you’re sober, seemingly better with what your emotions, eggsy nods. with your hands framing his cheeks and stepping up closer to him, eggsy’s hands finds purchase of your waist to lure you in as your lips brush against his ever so gently. he gapes, while you smile, carefully turning his face so you could press a kiss to his cheek. almost immediately, he tries not to feel embarrassed with his assumptions but when you lean back to grin at him, he can’t help but feel his heart stuck in his throat.

eggsy doesn’t let you get too far as he holds you close, resting his forehead on yours with a sigh. his eyes are now on yours as you blink up to him; both having a faded smile. idle, content. for now, at least.

“there’s more of where that came from if you get back safely.” is that a promise?

“i’ll be sure to do my best, then.” yeah, it is.))

//

(((”sorry, i’m good to go now.” eggsy announces just as he tosses his bag in the backseat and hops on over to the seat next to agent whiskey. the older man shakes his head with a tsk, revs up his engine but doesn’t take off when he glances to eggsy and notices–”son, what’s that there on your face?”

eggsy raises a brow in confusion, leaning out the side to glance at the side view mirror to catch the smudge of lipstick on his cheek. he chuckles and uses his sleeve to wipe it off with a grin.

“that, old man, is my promise to come back here once we’re done.”)))

[artsyhamster]

i am artblocked and i am pissy about it but also at the same time i am still super into Kingsman and I don’t know what to do with myself

[darcyfirth]

i mean it’s true i haven’t watched the golden circle yet but i know it’ll fuck me up in more ways than one

[david-thedoctor]

I have split screens at work, so why not make them Kingsman screens??

[dadolorian]

Seven Days of Valentines, (Diamonds and Daddies side story) Whiskey x F!Reader CH 4

A/N: Thanks to @talesfromtheguild​ for Beta reading and helping me with many ideas for this! This will be a weekly series leading up to Valentines Day

I try to keep Readers physical appearance as open as possible for this story, but please note in these chapters shes going to become more of a ‘character’, some specific interests of hers are going to come into play.

This is canon to the main Diamonds and Daddies story, but i am uploading as its own thing. You do not need to have read Diamonds and Daddies to read this, just know its a fic about Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels being a Sugar Daddy and the reader is a professional Sugar Baby.

Fandom: Kingsman the golden circle Ship: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x Cis F!reader Warning/tags: established relationship, P in V sex, fingering, Oral ( F receiving) , multiple orgasms, over stimulation, dirty talk, Daddy kink, DD/LG/BDSM style relationship, creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it up irl) checking of safe word, possessive language, aftercare, toys, squirting, pussy slap, nipple/clit pump, some mild fluff

Let me know if i forget anything

Word count: 6K +

My master list Seven days of Valentines masterlist AO3 LINK Buy me a Kofi

Summary: Whiskey whisks his Sugar baby away for a romantic Valentine’s getaway. Day four, jack gift Honey Bee a special gift. 

Thursday 12th of February

As promised, you were left with a very sore and tender pussy. 

You awoke in uncomfortable pleasure with Jack's face buried between your legs, devouring you as if he hadn’t had his fill of you less than eight hours earlier. 

Lazily, you tried to push him away with your hand, in a feeble attempt to fall back to sleep, however thanks to your lingering sensitivity and the skill of his tongue he managed to coax you to orgasm despite your meager attempt to recede back into sleep.

You whimpered, grogginess clear in your high whines, as Jack lapped you up, savoring your taste before beginning to kiss his way up your body, pushing up his t-shirt you still wore to kiss at more of your soft skin. He gravitated towards your lips finally, lazily melding his mouth to yours. You tasted yourself on his tongue, alongside that taste you couldn’t describe as anything other than Jack. You moaned together, as if relieved to be connected once again finally.

Strong, familiar arms wrapped around you and lifted your hips to his, he hissed into your kiss as your soaked core rubbed up against his erection through his sweatpants.

“Is your sore pussy up to taking Daddy this morning?” he asked when you finally separated your lips from one another. His voice was raspy with sleep and need.

“If I'm not too sensitive for you to eat me out before I’ve even woken up, then I’m sure I can take your cock Daddy,” you cooed, giggling at the way his eyes darkened and the  hungry look he gave you as he quickly hooked his sweats under his cock and balls.

“If you can still take me after last night, then clearly I didn't do a good enough job,” he teased before he pushed himself inside you with a satisfied groan.

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Even with Jack’s morning distraction he had the two of you out the door, before noon, dressed ready in warmer clothes than usual due to the reported snowfall.

He took you to Piazza Navona, it was beautiful, even with the overcast gray sky, thanks to the cold February air it was not as busy as you expected, giving you and Jack plenty of space to roam about the decadent square to observe the beauty of the architecture and fountains.

Snow covered the ground, which did not dampen your experience in the slightest. Jack promised to ‘make up for it’ in the future by taking you back in warmer months, but you silenced his worries with a kiss. 

“I am thrilled we are here, even if it's cold, I don't need blue skies and sunshine to appreciate any of this Jack.” 

He gave you a soft smile in return, feeling some of his worry lift.

“I still want to take you back here Sugar, one day.” 

“I would love that, I just don't want you thinking I'm somehow disappointed because you took me here in late winter. I love it Jack, thank you.” 

You shared a deep kiss in front of one of the fountains, as the only two people in the square. 

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You were equally as excited when Jack took you to your next location for the day, and found it was just as empty as Piazza Navona. Trevi fountain was covered in snow, the blanket was growing steadily thicker as snow began to fall, Jack was grateful he had the foresight of an umbrella that day, opening it up and pulling you to his side as you both made your way over to the famed fountain.

“This is amazing, that we get to experience such a place, just the two of us” you whispered, leaning your head on his shoulder, huddling closer to him against the cold.

“It seems surreal Darlin,” he hummed beside you, kissing the crown of your head. “It’s like we’re the only two people in the world.”

You giggled. “Hmmm, and is this what we would do? If we were? Travel around, seeing the sights?” 

“If it were just the two if us, I would want nothing more than just to explore the rest of the world with you, Honey Bee,” he smiled. 

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You flipped through photos you had taken that morning on your phone as you sat in the passenger seat, Jack beside you holding your free hand as the driver took you to wherever he had planned for your lunch. 

You giggled at one particular photo, Jack was pulling a face into the camera as he would often do when in a playful mood.

“Send me them when you get a chance Darlin,” he said warmly beside you, smiling at your smile. You gave him a nod before swiping through more. 

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Lunch, as it turned out, was very similar to yesterday's lunch, as Jack had surprised you with another workshop. However, this time you were taking a pizza class. 

Your stomach growled as you entered the warm Pizzeria, shrugging off the thick winter coats you wore and hanging them up. You were grateful for the change in temperature as you both cleaned off the snow clinging to the rest of your clothes before joining the small class. 

You decided to spend the time this lesson enjoying the experience more than teasing Jack, who seemed just as agreeable to the notion as you stood side by side at your station, listening to your instructor. 

You had a lot of fun, Jack kneaded the dough for you as you stood to the side, admiring his arms as he rolled up his sleeve and got to work. As the dough was stored away to rise, you cleaned your station together, sitting down to decide what toppings you each wanted. 

Your pizza base was an uneven circle, Jack rolling it out once they were all deemed acceptable. You giggled at the lopsidedness of it, taking a quick photo of Jack’s pout as you giggled over your lumpy pizza base. 

Together you made the sauce and spread it on your base, before you were finally allowed to decorate it with toppings. Before you could start, Jack made an equally uneven heart shape out of your shredded mozzarella, and with sauce bottle in hand,  he managed to write  a very messy “JD ❤️ HB” 

You ‘awwed’ at the gesture, quickly snapping a picture of Jack next to his creation, smiling proudly. 

“How very ‘cheesy’ of you,” you joked lamley, making Jack groan.

You finished putting the rest of your toppings on before you were finally allowed to deliver your pizza to the pizza oven. Jack was thrilled to get to use the large wooden pizza peel, and you made sure to take a video of Jack putting your pizza in the large oven to cook with help from the instructor. 

While your lunch cooked you cleaned everything up, leaving your station as spotless as you found it. When the food was ready you and Jack sat at the tables, alongside other couples, chatting away happily as you all ate together, his arm around you lazily. 

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You were surprised when Jack led you back to the hotel much earlier than you expected, having just finished lunch and bundling back up in your coats to brave the increasing snow.

You weren't complaining though, as you entered the lobby just as the snow had started to become a blizzard, more than happy to escape the cold for the rest of the day. 

You were taken back to your room, and perhaps a little disappointed as you entered the bedroom, finding no gifts laid out. 

Jack took notice, chuckling and kissing your cheek.

“Later Honey, we’re only stopping by to get rid of our winter gear,” he said warmly, shedding his coat once more and changing into some comfortable lounging clothes. He encouraged you to do the same, so quickly you dressed into a large baggy sweater dress, warm leggings and soft ugg boots. He took your hand once you were ready, and just as quickly as you had arrived to your suite, you were swept away to some unknown part of the hotel. 

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You were delighted when you passed through two large glass doors to what you could only describe as a mini spa resort. 

The air was warm and misty, smelling vaguely of vanilla and pine, tiled floors made shoes click as they passed over it, the walls were gray, with a large mural walk behind the tall reception desk. The hotel's logo stood out on the mural of trees, and sitting underneath, behind the desk were two petite young women who greeted you with a smile. 

“Mr Daniels?” one of them asked in a strong italian accent. 

Jack smiled and nodded, pulling you with him as you were led down a short hallway to the side, and then into a changing room where robes and towels waited for you. 

You both undressed in your cubicles, putting on the towels and plush white robes provided for you. Jack took your hand back once the two of you were ready for whatever treatment you were about to get. 

As usual, Jack had spared no expense, and the two of you were treated to a full spa experience. Jack had even gone the extra mile to give you a full beauty treatment as an added bonus. 

You were able to relax in the Sauna together, your head resting on Jack’s shoulder as the heat sweat away your stresses. That was followed up by your beauty treatment. Mani and pedi, facial, exfoliation, face mask, eye mask, you experienced the full works, all while Jack cooled off in an Ice bath.

You enjoyed your pedicure along with a small sample of fruits and sandwich , followed up with a delicious slice of decadent cake, and a glass of champagne. 

And the entire spa experience was topped off with a couples massage. 

Jack reached across the small gap between your tables whenever he could to hold your hand in his. Any tension you had in your body melted away thanks to the expert hands of your masseuse and the scented oils coating your skin. 

Sighing, you closed your eyes, trying hard not to fall asleep due to your extremely relaxed state, waiting to enjoy the feeling as much as possible by not drifting off. 

You giggled, along with your masseuses when Jack's steady snore revibriated along the tiled walls, his hand relaxing in your grip as he drifted off, completely and utterly relaxed.

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By the time your massage had ended you were feeling more loose and relaxed than you had ever felt in your life, you rolled your shoulders with a content sigh, loving how loose your muscles felt. 

“Damn Darlin, I didn't even realize my back was hurting so much until the pain went away,” Jack sighed beside you, taking your hand as you made your way back to the changing room to shower off the oil still coated to your skin. 

“You enjoy your beauty treatment?” he asked, taking your hand in his once you were dressed, inspecting your manicure and affectionately stroking your fingers with his. 

“Yes,” you nodded smiling at him. “Thank you.” 

He smiled back and kissed your forehead. “Not that you need a beauty treatment Darlin, you’re already stunning,” he said, making you blush. 

Washed, dried, and dressed you made your way back to your suite together.

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As he had promised earlier, gifts were now laid out on the bed, you bounced over to them excitedly, making Jack chuckle at your eagerness. Three boxes, with no clothes set out that evening, which surprised and intrigued you. As expected, one of  the boxes contained a lingerie set, red and lacy, but unlike the other set the had bought for you so far, they were not intended to be practical, usable underwear as well, as the cups of the ‘bra’ were not there, the lace would perfectly frame your breasts, leaving them exposed for Jacks viewing pleasure. The ‘panties’ were matching, crotchless, this set was purely to wrap you up nice and pretty leaving everything open to Jack so he would not have to remove a single piece from you to get what he wants. 

He growled softly behind you, wrapping his arms around you to kiss at your neck. “Gonna look so good in that Darlin,” he said, voice deep with lust already at the thought of you wearing it. 

“Open the others” 

You placed the first box down back on the bed, reaching for the next closest box and lifting the lid. Instantly you felt yourself growing wet at the sight of its content. 

“I hope after last night you won't be too sore to play with these tonight,” Jack’s teasing voice tickled your neck as you stared down at the toys in the box. 

So far, in the short time you had been together you had experimented with toys only a handful of times, and so far, they had been simple bullets and vibes. Evidently tonight, Jack wanted to be a bit more, experimental. 

One simple, silver bullet vibe, a finger vibe, a silicone egg attached to a silicone string you could only guess vibrated, and the largest dildo you had ever seen in person. Your heart was beating fast in anticipation, and you were sure Jack could feel it with his lips latched to your pulse point. 

“Open the last one,” he rasped.

You almost dropped the box as you opened it, overwhelming anticipation making you shake as you stared down at a toy you had only ever dreamed about being used on you. 

Nipple and clit pumps, you were certain Jack was planning on a night just as intense as the last night, and you were more than looking forward to it. 

“Go, get changed, I’ll be waiting for you.” 

You were quick to change in the ensuite, touching up your hair in the mirror and re-applying Jacks favorite mascara. When you came back out to the bedroom, dressed in the exposing red number, Jack was laid out on the bed, even more exposed than you, completely nude as he lay back with a cocky grin, slowly pumping his hardening cock. 

You feigned feeling bashful, hiding half of your body behind the door frame and avoiding his eyes. He chuckled, becoming you over with his finger. 

“No need to feel shy Darlin, you look good enough to eat,” he hummed, still stroking his cock slowly with one hand while the other was open to you in invitation. You padded over the soft carpet, still pretending to feel shy. As soon as you were in reach he pulled you to the bed, pushing you onto your back and bending over you to give you a kiss. 

“I really could eat you up, you sexy little thing,” he teased, his fingers dancing across your skin to the lacy edges of your ‘bra’, the pads of his fingers brushing against your bare breasts as he played with the lace. 

“These,” he said, squeezing your breasts, weighing them in his palm. “A meal fit for a king,” he continued, growling before dipping his head further to mouth at your breasts. He lavished attention to them, making sure to toy with the one not currently in his mouth with his hand, squeezing, kneading the flesh in his large calloused hands, and tweaking your nipple while he licked and suckled on the other one. 

You moaned, already aroused just by looking at the toys he had selected for that night, but even further so now. You felt your arousal leak out of you, with no barrier to hold it thanks to the lack of material covering your centre. 

Jack switched, making sure each of your breasts felt the attention of his mouth, you looked down at him, and found him staring back at you with intense, dark eyes, watching your every reaction, every gasp and moan. 

“Fuck, I love your tits,” he moaned agaisnt your skin, placing a few soft kisses to your peaked nipples before pulling away. His hand stroking the flesh of your thigh as he sat up, erection proudly twitching against his stomach. 

“Which of those toys caught your attention most, baby?” He asked, positioning you gently further back on the bed. 

“T-the pumps,” you answered truthfully, rubbing your coated thighs together in anticipation as Jack got up off the bed to collect the boxes. 

“Yeah? You want Daddy to torture your nipples and poor little clit?” he asked, setting the boxes beside you on the bed. 

You nodded up at him eagerly. 

“Daddy will do just that,” he promised, picking out the finger vibe from the box and sliding it over his index, switching it on so it buzzed lightly. “But I want to try them all out on you baby.” 

His finger started at your nipples, trailing slowly down your body until he reached your clit, circling it gently so the vibrations barely tickled you. You whined, lifting your hips , trying to gain more pressure to your clit, but Jack slapped your thich in warning. 

“You take what Daddy gives you,” he reminded you, torturing you further by rubbing his vibrating finger over your clit directly, so lightly you could only just feel the promise of the vibrations against your swollen bud. 

“Daddy please,” you whined, pouting when he chuckled at you, not taking pity on you. 

“Patience is a virtue sugar,” he teased, leaning over to rasp in your ear. “Daddy will will make you cum so hard so much it fucking hurts if you be good for me.”

You moaned, knowing full well Jack always kept his promises if you behaved for him. 

“Imagine that big one inside you,” he continued, knowing full well his words could turn you on just as much as his touches. “I wanna see your sweet little peach of a pussy stretch around that, your hungry little hole taking that massive cock, fuck, I bet it would hurt to cum around that thing, your cunt stretched so much and tightening around that, fuck I could cum just imagining that.” 

You moaned again, nodding your head and silently begging for just that, wanting to please him, wanting that painful pleasure. 

Your eyes were closed, imagining his little fantasy, how good it would feel when he surprised you by pushing the vibe right onto your clit, making you yelp. 

“We’re gonna start small, and make our way up,” he said, sitting back up to watch you writhe under the pleasure of the vibe. “It’s going to be another long night Baby girl.” 

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Jack had successfully made you cum with the finger vibe without ever sliding anything inside you, and had slowly worked you open with the small silver vibe, pumping it in and out of you slowly, bringing you back to the edge of pleasure before abandoning it to the side. You whined in frustration as he took his sweet time picking the next toy, much to your annoyance. There were two toys left in that box and you knew he was going to end with the larger one. He was simply trying to rile you up. 

Deciding you were being just a bit too bratty with your complaints, he gave your pussy a harsh slap.

“Patience Baby,” he warned with a growl. “That's your second warning!” 

You bit your lip, trying to silence yourself as he pretended to decide which toy to use. 

Eventually he picks up the silicone egg and returned to his previous position between your legs, laying on his stomach so he could watch up close. 

He turned the egg on, feeling it buzz in his palm before slowly pushing it inside you, cooing gently about how good your pussy looked, framed by your panties as it stretched around the widest part of the egg. Shoving it inside you as deep as it could reach he watched with fascination how slick leaked from you with each powerful buzz. 

“Remember, you can’t cum until Daddy says you can,” he laughed before licking up your arousal with a moan. You heard him whisper against your folds how you tasted so good. 

You were focusing hard on not cumming until he said so, but that was made far more difficult when he took a hold of the silicone ‘string’ attached to the toy, slowly pulling it down your channel and stretching your hole again. 

You keened, arching your back and trying so hard to wait for his permission. He repeated the action, pushing the vibrating egg deep inside you before slowly pulling it out, stopping when you stretched around the widest point. He watched entranced, growling hungrily every time your entrance stretched around it. 

He kissed your clit, circling his tongue around it, drinking up your moans. 

“Fuck baby, watching my sweet little cunt stretch like this, just makes me want to see what else I can fit in you,” he moaned, lapping up at your folds now. “Im gonna buy the biggest fucking toy I can find when we get home, we’re gonna find your limit one day.” 

His lips latched onto your core, eating you out vigorously, and still playing with the toy with his hand, he was struggling to grip it securely with how much you were leaking. 

He shoved the toy back inside, pushing up right against your g-spot as he began suckling your clit. 

You shrieked, trying not to wriggle too much as you begged, helplessly, for permission. 

“Daddy! Please! Please! Pleasepleaseplease!” You wailed. Looking down at him, between your legs, eyes watching you intently again, you saw him nod. 

Permission. 

You thanked him with a cry as you arched further off of the bed, pushing your hips up into his mouth as he drank down your release, tongue lapping at your hole beside the silicone still hanging out of you. You clenched down around the toy, shaking as your walls contracted  around the vibrations. 

“Daddy!” You whined, slowly rocking your hips into his face as you rode out your orgasm. As the waves of pleasure washed away, Jack ever so slowly pulled the toy out of you, kissing your clit in praise as he did so. You whimpered, sensitive as he kissed you there. 

He cooed again as you stretched around the toy, watching as he pulled it out at a snails pace, enraptured at the sight. 

“My pretty little pussy,” he praised, diving to lap up at you again once the toy popped out of you. You mewled, lazily trying to push him away, but he wouldn't be denied his sweet treat. 

Jack tossed the toy to the side and crawled up your body, lifting your thighs around his waist. Teasingly, he rocked his hips so his cock, now leaking pre-cum onto your skin.

“Daddy wants to be inside his pretty little pussy,” he rasped. “I know you’re sensitive baby, oohhh but daddy wants to make you a creamy mess before you take that big one, I need you slick with both our cum before I stretch you out with that thing.” 

He was rambling, but watched your expression carefully as he lined himself up with your hole, smearing his pre-cum around your folds, waiting for any kind of refusal before pushing his hips forward and filling you easily thanks to his attentions with the egg. 

“Fuck, there we go,” he groaned when the flesh of your ass met his thighs. Bottoming out inside of you. You moaned loudly as he filled you up, feeling his tip meet your innermost wall. “I aint ever been in a pussy this good Baby.”

Having neglected his cock for so long, choosing to pleasure you ahead of himself, Jack didn’t bother wasting time building up a slow and steady pace. He pounded into you hard and fast as he always did when chasing his own release and slaps echoing in the room. 

He crashed his lips on yours, noses bumping together as the taste of your cum flooded your mouth. The kiss was sloppy, and messy, but Jack desperately seemed to need his mouth on yours as his hips rammed yours. You could tell by his desperation he would not last long, he rarely did when he had aroused himself so much by pleasuring you.

Once, twice, three times he bucked into you hard before warm cum flooded your insides, he pulled your bottom lip into his mouth and bit hard, but not hard enough to draw blood, groaning loudly. 

You didn’t complain about the fact that he had sought his own release as he lazily pulled out of you, pushing his seed back inside you with his thumb, knowing full well he intended to make you cum at least once more that night. 

“Baby,” he sighed, licking his thumb clean of your combined releases. “What's your color? You still good to try take that big one?”

“Green Daddy,” you sighed, settling into the pillows comfortably, preparing yourself for the challenge. 

“My perfect girl,” he said proudly, kissing your cheek and retrieving the toy. 

You knew there were larger toys out there, but this would be the largest you had ever taken personally, it was bigger than Jack, who was already an impressive size himself. He placed the toy beside you on the bed before opening the bedside drawer for a bottle of lube.

“I know you’re wet Darlin, you’re always wet for me, your horny little cunt’s always up for more, isn’t she? But we still need to prep you” he said, coating his fingers in lube and putting two in you straight away. The artificial lube, mixed with both of your cum made obscene noises as Jack pumped his fingers and stretched you open. 

“Daddy can get hard again on that noise alone Honey Bee,” he chuckled, laughing harder as your eyes widened as you glanced down at his spent, wet cock that was already twitching with interest.  

You bit your lip and wiggled slightly, stopping when his eyes cut back to your face in warning. 

“Are you going to take me again Daddy?” You asked as a third finger pushed inside you. 

“Ohhh, you can bet on it Baby,” he moaned, watching your hole stretching around his fingers. When he managed to fit a fourth, large finger inside you, he stretched you wide open so he could stare into your hole, groaning at the sight. 

“My perfect little cunt,” he whispered before spitting into your hole, giving you an obnoxiously cocky grin before pulling his fingers free and shoving them in your mouth to clean. 

Obediently you lapped them up, cleaning your combined cum and lube off of his fingers while his free hand opened the bottle again. Once he deemed his fingers acceptably clean he pulled them out of the hot cavern of your mouth and picked up the toy, coating it generously in lube. 

“You sweet little pussy’s gonna look so good taking this,” he growled, shoving your legs apart as wide as they could go and lining the tip of the toy up at your entrance. He was extremely careful, as he pushed it forward, watching your reaction carefully for any sign of discomfort. Even with the stretching and copious slick from the lube and cum it was a struggle to take, the stretch was burning and so far he had only pushed  the tip in. Jack paused, waiting patiently for your face to relax as he slowly pulled the toy out, then back in, pushing just a little bit deeper each time, pausing, waiting for you to adjust each time you grimaced. 

It took a lot of hard work, but with both your efforts the toy was eventually pushed as deep as it could go. You both moaned in unison once the toy could go no deeper. Jack laid down on his stomach, between your legs, staring longingly once again at the stretch of your pussy. 

“Baby,” he cooed in adoration, running this finger around the toy where your hole stretched around it, making you whimper. “Look at that, fuck, just imagine how much we could get to fit in you with practice. Your sweet, tiny little pussy’s stretched so wide, Can’t wait to make you cum on that, bet it’s gonna hurt, make you cry, sweet thing.” 

You were stretched so wide that the arousal you felt at his words could not escape, simply filling you up further, making you whine. 

“Wait here, hold your legs open,” he ordered getting up off the bed, you noticed he was hard again already, having worked himself up watching you stretch around the new toy. 

He picked up the last box.

Oh. 

You had forgotten about that.

Jack gently picked up the pumps before returning to you, gently attaching the suction cups to each nipple and your clit. He loved how your breasts look, framed by the ‘bra’, pump attached to your nipples. 

“Gonna make you cum so hard, it’ll hurt so good baby,” he rasped, voice deep and gravely with lust. 

He squeezed the pump gently in one hand, watching how you would react with fierce intensity and hunger. The first pump was just enough to feel a slight suction, a mild sensation, but he continued to pump away slowly, watching the way your nipples began pulling up into the clear cups. He groaned at the sight, and once your nipples and clit started to feel the tight suction you whined loudly in both pain and pleasure, unintentionally squeezing around the large toy inside you still. 

Without warning Jack repeatedly squeezed the pump hard and fast, startling you with the sudden, constant suction.

“Ahhhh! Daddy!” You yelped, struggling to keep still for him.

“You know your words,” he reminded you. “They’re there if you need them.” 

You shook your head no, wanting that painful orgasm he promised you and was intent on giving you. 

You were sobbing as he pumped away, clit and nipples red and raw as they were pulled up into the cups, there would be marks in the morning, no doubt about that. 

It was painful, but incredibly arousing at the same time, they had never been this sensitive before, this abused and your head was swimming in the delirium of it. 

Jack jerked himself off with his free hand above you, as you squirmed beneath him, the painful, burning stretch of the toy, and the constant and the arduous suction on your most sensitive parts were driving you insane. 

To torment you further, Jack placed the pump down but did not release the suction, instead, grabbing onto one of the cups on your nipples and tugging at it. You cried, the pain agonising but it just made you anticipate your orgasm all the more. 

Proud of the reaction he pulled from you, his hand moved to the suction cup on your clit, repeating the action. You shrieked, louder than you ever had before and Jack abandoned his cock to cover your mouth, as he repeatedly tugged at the cup, muffling your shrieks. 

“Normally I love your noises Baby but we don't need people coming to investigate that now do we?” he teased. “Now I'm going to let go and you’re going to cum for me. You understand?”

You nodded into his hand. 

“Good, you need to scream like that, do it into the pillow,” he said before pulling his hand from your mouth to grip the toy filling you up by the base and jackhammering it inside of you, still tugging at the pump on your clit. 

It was instantaneous, and as painful as he had promised. Your hole was stretched as wide as it could possibly go right now and gripping hard on the toy that was stuffed inside you. Jack growled, watching with rapt fascination as your poor abused hole rhythmically clenched around the artificial cock. 

You didn't shake as much as you thrashed, pulling the pillow to your face to scream your voice hoarse as tears escaped your eyes due to the pain you were drunk on. 

Wet squelching, screams and Jack’s praises and curses filled the room as you came and cum gushed from you. Your body was both trying to milk the toy and push it out of you at the same time, and you realized the toy was being forced from you because you were squirting around it. Jack seemed unaware given how big the toy was, but he was preparing to enter you the second he pulled the toy from you, the hand previously tugging at your clit pump was stroking his cock while the hand still on the toy quickly pulled it out of you, coating him in the cum still squirting from you. 

“Fuck Baby!” he shouted, surprised for just a moment before he growled and quickly shoved himself in your gaping pussy before you finished. Pounding into you at a brutal pace, unintentionally but happily massaging that spot making you squirt, drenching his front in even more cum before your body could take no more.

“Fuck I didn’t think this would be how I made you squirt the first time, but Im not complaining,” he groaned in your ear, ripping your pillow away from your face and pounding into you, holding your still thrashing body tightly to him, ignoring the pump still on you as his cock destroyed your hole. Over and over again.

His pace was brutal and you cried, from the intense pain and pleasure of your orgasm, from the suction still on your nipples and clit, from the overstimulation of him pounding into you before you had even finished, how tender and swollen your sex was that was continuing to be abused, and the words that dripped from his mouth. 

“My fucking pussy, this is mine,” he growled, his voice sounding feral and animalistic. “No ones ever going to please you the way I do, fill you the way I do, every inch of you is mine!” 

“Y-yours,” you eeped out, voice faint after screaming so loud. 

That was all he needed to push him over the edge, shouting his release as he pulled you up into him and he pushed in as deep as he could go, ignoring how the pump dug into both of you, hitting your cervix, making you cry out as he came.You felt it leak out of you, your abused hole unable to hold it in as he pulled out. Pausing a moment to free you of the pump, making you hiss in pain and relief before Jack collapsed on top of you with a groan, resting his head between your breasts and wrapping his arms around you. 

You weren't sure how long the two of you lay there, clinging to each other, hearts and breath slowing down and sweat cooling from your skin as you stroked his hair. 

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Eventually, once he was no longer panting, Jack sat up, hair clinging to his sweaty forehead as he took survey of the mess on yourselves and the bed. 

“You good baby?” he asked, the need for sleep clinging to his voice. 

“Yeah,” you whispered. “That was…”

“Intense?” he supplied with a weak chuckle, getting up off of the bed. “Come on baby, let clean up and get you sorted.” 

You whined in complaint, rolling to your side, back to him. 

“I know you’re tired,” he cooed, gently picking you up and carrying you to the ensuite. “But you’ll regret waking up in a wet bed, covered in cum and sore as all hell.” 

“Fine” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck, more than happy to let him do all the work, and you knew he was more than happy to do it. 

He took extra care with you that night, cleaning you up, removing the lingerie from your body, soothing your sore abused nipples with ointment, changing the bedsheets and praising you as you snuggled to him every chance you got. 

You were already asleep by the time he put you to bed and tucked you in beside him.

Taglist: 

@thats-one-tender-foot  @luminescentlily @nuttybeardetective @ishqinbbc @ben-is-a-hoe @calamity-queen @phoenixhalliwell @talesfromtheguild @the-arctic-violet  @jeeperky @mando-amando

[weclassybouquetfun]

Slightly over two years since its scheduled release date *finally* comes the prequel to KINGSMAN: THE SECRET -SERVICE and KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE -THE KING'S MAN. Directed by Matthew Vaughn - who directed the previous films - and co-written by Vaugh and Karl Gajdusek (OBLIVION, THE LAST DAYS OF AMERICAN CRIME).

Starring Ralph Fiennes, Harris Dickinson, Gemma Arterton, Djimon Hounsou and Rhys Ifans, THE KING'S MAN details the origins of the gentleman spy organization.

Vaughn has said that he always dreamt of making an epic, sprawling film that focuses on real historical figures but knowing it would be near impossible to get funding for a project like that, he decided to fold it into the Kingsman universe as that would be an easier sell. And that he did because as much as there are many nods to the previous films and the background is the same, THE KING'S MAN works just as well as a historical flight of fancy as it does a KINGSMAN film. We get to see Vaugh and Gajudusek use historical figures as their playthings while getting the same KINGSMAN off-the-wall violence and great fashion.

My actual reaction to the film.

THE KING'S MAN (NO SPOILERS)

After serving in the military and seeing the futility of war and reeling from a tragedy that befallen he and his son, The Duke of Oxford (Fiennes) has vowed to protect his son Conrad (Harris Dickinson)

from the dangers of the world, keeping him little more than a bird in a gilded cage that is their sprawling estate under the care watchful eyes of the Duke's valet Shola (Hounsou) and maid/Conrad's former nanny Polly (Arterton). But when an anonymous puppet master begins pulling strings which spurs cousins Russia's Tsar Nicholas, Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm and England's King George (all played by Tom Hollander) into battle.

Oxford struggles to keep his son from joining the war effort and find a way for himself to help the efforts despite his vow of pacifism. THE GOOD - Loved that Conrad wasn't a copy of Eggsy. It would have been easy to make him a cocky rapscallion like Eggsy, but Conrad is just as brave as Eggsy but lacks the bravado. -What annoyed me about KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE was that I felt some of the action was too cartoonish and needlessly frenetic. This time around, I think the action was perfectly modulated like the first film and that the comedic moments were tempered as to not fall into outlandishness (again, like KTGC). It has just the right amount of silliness, mostly courtesy of Rhys IIfans' Rasputin.

-This role won't have audiences seeing him in another light unlike what Harry Hart did for Colin Firth because Firth has almost always played these quaint gentleman sorts, whereas Fiennes have played a plethora of characters. Yet, it is still great seeing him do more action and a bit of humour. -The cast was perfectly blended. One of the disappointments of KTGC was that audiences lost out on a chance to see Roxy and Eggsy as true colleagues and everyone was fractured. In this every character has a purpose, everyone is well utilized for something that is most certainly a building block to future films (especially as Vaughn has said he wants to do seven more Kingsman films.

-More heartfelt. - I love history so seeing Vaughn and Gajdusek open their toy chest and play with historical figures and history was great. It's like THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN but of historical disrupters.

THE BAD -While Michele Clapton's costuming is fantastic, I was disappointed that there wasn't a standout piece of wardrobe. The first one had a few -the jumpsuits, Harry's tartan pants, the second Eggy's orange velvet jacket with the black lapels.

I think the one piece I liked the most was Conrad's leather utility jacket.

-Not enough Daniel Brühl.

THE OTHER - I don't know if it was just for these film but Matthew Vaughn's production company MARV has a new logo. - Pretty much from the very beginning press sites and IMDB has listed Stanley Tucci as Merlin and Aaaron Taylor-Johnson as Lee Unwin, who is Eggsy's father. Wrong. They do not play these characters. -There is a mid-credit scene.

[hillsidecomics]

Tweaked the Kingsman title template a bit. Have yours made here: https://www.fiverr.com/hillsidecomics/make-a-kingsman-the-secret-service-title-animation-for-you?context_referrer=search_gigs&source=top-bar&ref_ctx_id=2e976b28-9b15-40b8-9fd2-d8aa688b501f&pckg_id=1&pos=1&context_type=auto&funnel=1444b71c-29a8-43d5-80fc-27966914e697 #Kingsman #harryhart #colinfirth #aftereffects #adobe #vfx #logo #title #animation #commission #artistforhire https://www.instagram.com/p/B1PeVMbj6Kg/?igshid=jnaekg177w7y

[multifandomfanfiction]

Kingsman: The Bear and the Fairy Chapter 1

TITLE: Kingsman: The Bear and the Fairy Chapter 1 PAIRING: Jack “Agent Whiskey” Daniels/OC RATING: M CHAPTER: 1/? SUMMARY: When the Kingsman and the Statesman join together to stop Poppy Adams, the last thing Elizabeth expected was to fall in love with a tall, dark, and handsome cowboy named after a brand of whiskey.

“Eggsy calling…” flashed on the screen of Elizabeth’s phone.

She smiled and got up from the table. “I have to take this.”

“Your boyfriend calling?” Sherry asked.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Eggsy’s not my boyfriend. He’s dating the Crown Princess of Sweden.”

“But every time he calls, you immediately pick up. No matter what,” Lorna added.

Elizabeth’s friends didn’t know she was a Kingsman and she wasn’t allowed to tell them.

Sometimes living a double life was hard.

Elizabeth walked towards the door and answered the call. “Eggsy…”

“Beth, where are you?”

“At the pub with my friends.”

“Stay there. Merlin and I are coming to get you.”

Elizabeth’s brows furrowed. “Merlin? Why are you with Merlin? Eggsy, what’s going on?”

“Just stay there.” He hung up and Elizabeth wondered what was wrong.

Was there a mission that couldn’t wait? But why didn’t Merlin call her then?

Eggsy and Merlin entered the pub. Merlin was dressed in his normal attire, while Eggsy was in a smart orange and black suit. One that Elizabeth recognized from the front shop window.

“Okay, what is going on?” Elizabeth asked.

“Not here. Come on,” Eggsy said, leading her into a cab.

Merlin got in the front seat.

“Anyone going to tell me what’s going on?” Elizabeth asked.

“Elizabeth, Roxy’s dead. Everyone’s dead. Arthur, the other Kingsmen,” Eggsy told her.

“Shut-up,” she said, playfully shoving him. When Eggsy didn’t start laughing, Elizabeth started to get worried. “You’re joking, right?”

Eggsy sighed and took her hands in his. “No, luv. I’m not joking.”

She pulled her hands out of his. “This isn’t funny, Eggsy! They can’t just be dead!”

“Someone bombed all the homes of the Kingsmen and the HQ. Roxy’s gone, Beth.”

“No,” Elizabeth whispered, “No!”

Eggsy wrapped his arms around her as she started wailing. “Shh, I’ve got you Bethy. I’ve got you.”

Merlin let the girl mourn her friend, unlike with Eggsy. He needed at least one of them to be on top of their game.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, they walked into a liquor shop.

“We’re from Kingsman. We’d like to buy some wine,” Merlin told the clerk, “And use tasting room number three, please.”

They were directed to the tasting room.

“And why are we here?” Elizabeth asked.

“Not one of my predecessors has ever been in this situation before. Thank God,” Merlin said. He walked around the room looking for something until he came to one of the small alcoves. “Ah-ha.” He pulled out a pendant. “Remember this?”

Eggsy laughed. “How could I forget?”

Merlin placed the pendant in the space and the alcove opened to reveal a safe. “Whatever’s in that safe is the answer to all our problems.” He opened the safe and pulled out a bottle of Statesman Whiskey.

“Is that it?” Eggsy asked.

“How is alcohol gonna solve all our problems?” Elizabeth asked.

“I suppose it must be upper-class humor. I don’t get it,” Merlin told them.

“Me neither. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?” Eggsy asked.

“I think we should drink a toast to our fallen comrades.”

They poured themselves each a glass.

“To Roxy,” Elizabeth said.

They knocked back the shot. Elizabeth coughed and shook her head. She was never drinking that again, but Eggsy and Merlin kept taking shots.

They had nearly finished the bottle when Merlin started crying.

Elizabeth sat opposite the two men with her head on her folded arms. She wanted to go home until she remembered she didn’t have one anymore.

“I should have seen it coming,” Merlin cried, “Charlie, the taxi. It’s all my fault.”

“Nah, that’s bullshit, Merlin. It ain’t all your fault,” Eggsy reassured him, “You’re the best, bruv. Honestly, without you, I’d have lost it a long time ago.” He rubbed Merlin’s shoulder.

Merlin picked up the bottle. “I think we should drink to Scotland.”

Elizabeth grabbed it from him. “I think you’ve had enough Merlin.”

“You’re probably right.”

She looked at the inside label on the bottle and cocked her head.

“Beth, what is it?” Eggsy asked.

“What if we’re not the only intelligence agency?”

“What?”

She turned the bottle around and showed them the label. “Distilled in Kentucky.”

The “K” had a circle around it. Just like the Kingsman logo.

“Merlin,” Eggsy said.

“Aye?”

“I think we’re goin’ to Kentucky.”

“Fried Chicken? I love fried chicken.”

Eggsy handed him the bottle. “No, proper Kentucky. Look.”

“You know what else I love? Country and western music.”

Elizabeth giggled at that.

Who would have thought that someone from the U.K. would love country and western music?

“Country roads/Take me home/To the place I belong…”

[thedailyimagines]

Imagine being the ‘bad guy’ and falling for Eggsy.

Anon requested: “I want to request enemy to lovers with eggsy and top!male reader. Like reader is villain (in eggsy eyes) but really love teasing eggsy when they meet and never serious fighting eggsy. Eggs really hate reader but eventually they become couple.”

.

Y/h/c = your hair color

Y/f/c = your favorite color

.

Sorry for the delay and thank you for your patience! Please enjoy!

~~~~~~~~

“Eggsy, you do remember why we are here, yes?” Eggsy raised the glass he had taken from a tray to his lips and spoke into the communication device.

“Course I do. Stop the bad guy, save the day, and go home in time for some dinner. Easy as pie.” A sigh came from Harry’s end of the comm.

“Yes, well, please remember that the ‘bad guy’ is y/n l/n, a young man well known for his elusiveness and has escaped capture on many occasions.” Eggsy just took a sip from his water glass.

“It’ll be fine Harry, we’ll get him. Don’t suppose you got a description for ‘im?”

“...”

“Harry?” There was nothing but static from Harry’s end of the comm.

“Oh, dammit.” Eggsy made his way to a door marked Employees Only, to find a young man around his age with y/h/c hair. The other man looked surprised at the sight of Eggsy.

“Sorry, guests aren’t allowed back here.” Eggsy gave the man a apologetic smile.

“My apologies, it’s an emergency.” The y/h/c-haired servant shook his head and started to gently push Eggsy towards the exit.

“Really sorry, but I have to insist you go back to the party.” Eggsy pulled away and started headed back towards the hallway beyond the small room.

“I just need to—!” Eggsy was grabbed by the arm and spun back towards the door he came in. He turned to look at the servant incredulously.

“I said, go back to the party.” The Kingsman shook off his surprise and took a fighting stance.

“I’m going to take a guess and say you’re not actually supposed to be here?” The not-servant grinned and nodded.

“Smart man. My name’s y/n.”

“You’re coming—mmph!” Eggsy jerked back as y/n kissed him. It was only a moment, but the kiss left Eggsy’s lips tingling.

No, wait—they were numb. The numbness quickly spread from his lips to the rest of his body. Eggsy fell over twitching. Y/n grinned and knelt down beside the fallen Kingsman.

“Don’t worry cutie, it’s just a paralytic. Should wear off in a couple minutes. I would love to stay, but I need run. Ta ta!” With that, y/n booked it to the exit.

Harry was never going to let him hear the end of this.

<—>

And so it went on. Eggsy would chase after y/n, and y/n would lead Eggsy on until he would slip away like water. It was increasingly frustrating for the Kingsman and enormously hilarious for the freelance thief.

“Come on darling! Put a little more omph into that punch!” Currently the two were fighting on the rooftop of a museum, where y/n had stolen a rather pricey set of diamonds.

“Would you just be quiet!” Y/n grinned and jabbed at Eggsy’s stomach.

“Make me~” Eggsy responded by throwing another punch at y/n, who bobbed and weaved away from the hit.

Only to be caught with an uppercut from the Kingsman. The blow split y/n’s lower lip and blood dropped down his chin.

“Are you done yet? Or do I have to knock you out?” Y/n gingerly touched his lip. Somewhere, a clock tower began to chime 11 o’clock. Y/n debated staying a little longer with the handsome spy, then shook his head. No time.

“As much as I like playing rough, I’m on a tight schedule. Catch you later!”

“Hey!” Eggsy reached out and grabbed y/n by the back of his collar. Y/n jerked in surprise.

“Okay, listen. As much as I want to stick around, if I don’t deliver by tonight then I don’t get paid.” Y/n tapped his chin in thought. “If you really want to find me...there’s a café near here. Has a raven for a logo. Meet me there tomorrow? My treat.” Eggsy blinked in surprise. He had just busted y/n’s lip and now the thief was offering a date?

“I can’t tell if you’re serious.” Y/n grinned.

“Serious as a stroke. I’ll wear a y/f/c shirt.” With that, the thief ran off into the night, leaving behind a very confused Eggsy.

<—>

The Ravenhead Café wasn’t particularly busy that afternoon. A few customers wandered through the doors, and others sat in the cushy seats inside. One couple sat in the back near the fireplace, the two men sipping at their drinks.

“Remember when we first met?” Y/n asked as he swirled the liquid in his cup and then took a sip.

“You kissed me with a paralyzing chemical.” Eggsy grinned at the memory. It had been about two years since their first encounter at the party, and one since y/n had proposed coming to this very café for a drink.

“Happy one year anniversary Eggsy.”

~~~~~~~~

I don’t own the above gif, all credit goes to the owner.

[vetttrece]

I made this edit inspired by the logo designed by @vampire-kingsman

Oh yes, perfection