#king helgrind

[syn4k]

KING HELGRIND?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING KING HELGRIND GOD DAMN FOOL CHILD ABUSING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT ACOLYTE OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING KING HELGRIND

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT KING HELGRIND I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DID HE FUCK UP HIS SON SO BAD WHY DID HE DECIDE TO SIT BACK AND LET THE BLOOD MOONS HAPPEN IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted mianite s3 and declan said king helgrind was there i would piss on his feet for the sole purpose of getting ip blocked from the webpage

if i have to deal with king helgrind typing one word in chat in messages in series not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive 

i dont even know why i hate him so much. like objectively he sucks but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some nepo baby shithead whos wife died and thats why he blamed it all on his only surviving fucking son ill go ham

BETTER have been sent to the nether roof cuz if he didnt Im going to make wag do it to him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateKingHelgrind

episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his castle and I lost it 

where the fuck is king helgrind if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch helgrind and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in minecraft enchantment table

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when he died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone 

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who couldnt even treat his own family like human people

[du-sailarar-nerilia]

Alagaësia Lore And Headcanons Series, Part 2: Human Languages of the Broddring Empire

Given that by the time the books take place, there is really only one human language, most of this post is going to be on the Headcanon side of "Lore and Headcanons". Still, my observations will be based in canon, drawing from place names as well as given names of characters. Where I run out of canon to draw from, I will be taking a lot of inspiration from the history of real-world languages, but not so much as to eliminate the uniqueness of the setting. Or at least I will try.

-Lights

Taxonomy

Human languages of Alagaësia can be roughly split into four distinct families: Broddring, Surdan, Petrovyan and Hadaraki. Of these, the former three show similarities in their grammatical structure (being overwhelmingly synthetic, but non-pro-drop languages) which may indicate that they split away from their ancestor language - a theorized "proto-mannish" - later than Hadaraki, which seems as far removed from them as it is from the Ancient Language. As this post is dedicated to languages of the Broddring Empire, Hadaraki, i.e. the languages of the Wandering Tribes (which never submitted to Broddring authority) will be given their separate post.

The Broddring Language Family

By this term, we understand any and all languages that evolved from the language spoken by the tribe of King Palancar at the time of their arrival in Alagaësia. The name "Broddring" comes from the singular form of the name of Palancar's tribe - Broddringas. Interestingly enough, it seems to be an exonym bestowed by a closely related tribe, translating roughly to "Brother's kin" (from brodor and the kinship suffix -ing).

Archaic Broddring This was the language spoken by Palancar upon his arrival in Alagaësia. While it had already developed the typical grammatical features of the later Broddring languages, its vocabulary was so far removed from theirs as to be completely incomprehensible to a speaker of present-day Broddring. This is due to the fact that after coming into contact with the Elves, Archaic Broddring started adopting (and modifying) words from the Ancient Language en-masse, which would eventually lead to the two languages sharing up to 40% of their vocabulary. The resulting amalgam would become known as...

Old Broddring Language of the early Broddring kings who resided in Ilirea. It had a rich inflection system, with four cases (nominative, genitive, dative and accusative) and three numbers (singular, dual and plural). Despite being different enough from the Ancient Language as to lack its truthsaying and magical properties, it was similar to the point of mutual intelligibility:

OB:       Andumë ond Fíronmas on thaem      sorga              hyll,     lichama    sin      glaese     gelic.

AL:        Andumë un Fíronmas äthr dem        harmra            hyll,     leikrar       theirra  glaere     gelikr.

(similarities illustrated on the sentence "Andumë and Fíronmas at the hill of sorrows and their flesh like glass." spoken by Glaedr in Inheritance.) Given that not only vocabulary, but also parts of grammar seem to have been adopted by the Broddringas, discussions abound among scholars as to whether Old Broddring is Archaic Broddring in an Ancient Language cloak, or the Ancient Language in a Broddring cloak. It was this language that gave rise to the Toskan dialect, an artificial dialect created by Tosk for the purposes of the Religion of Helgrind.

Present-day Broddring Just as Old Broddring is the result of a metaphorical melting pot of Archaic Broddring and the Ancient Language, present-day Broddring is the result of Old Broddring interacting with the rest of the human languages of Alagaësia during the Broddrings' conquest. Again, it borrowed massively, mainly from Aberonian and Old Surdan (more on those below). This was not the case of the conquerors borrowing vocabulary from the conquered, but rather the conquered attempting to speak the conquerors' language and substituting the words they did not know with ones from their own languages. Moreover, as Broddring gradually became the lingua franca of a multi-national kingdom, the number of non-native speakers outgrew that of the native ones. This led to a significant simplification and streamlining of grammar. The number of lexically realized cases was reduced drastically until only two - the subject case and the object case - remained. As a result, the word order became much less flexible and Broddring as a whole became more analytical rather than synthetic. Numbers were reduced to only singular and plural.

The Lost Languages of Surda

By the time of the Fall of the Riders, only the Broddring lanuguage was spoken in Surda. Indeed, the ruling dynasty started by Marelda of Langfeld and continued by the Queen Frida and the Kings Larkin and Orrin was ethnically Broddring. Still, some of the languages of the tribes that first settled Surda and remained there even after Palancar and the Broddrings left for the north survive in toponyms, given names, folklore and old documents.

Aberonian Aberonian seems to be the language most closely related to the unattested proto-surdan language spoken by the first settlers. It survives only in its formal, literary form, preserved by the Arcaena sect (the name of which itself derives from the aberonian word for "secret"). Both its name and that of the current capital of Surda comes from the tribe called Aberati. We can only speculate as to the meaning, but it may be related to the verb aberro, "to wander away". Aberati could therefore be taken to mean "Wanderers", "Explorers" or potentially "Exiles". Many traditional surdan given names have aberonian origin, like that of King Orrin, which derives either from the word orans ("he who prays", i.e. pious) or orum ("gold, golden"). It carries an air of tradition and authority in the surdan public consciousness and prior to Surda becoming a province of the Broddring Empire, her monarchs would swear oaths of office in both Aberonian and the Ancient Language. This tradition would be later revived by Queen Frida, daughter of Lady Marelda and the first Langfeld monarch.

Old Surdan The contemporary of Old Broddring and the source of many of the borrowings that transformed Old Broddring into its present-day form. If little survives of Aberonian, then what we have left of Old Surdan may well be nothing. It originated as a spoken dialect of Aberonian and continued to evolve even as Aberonian fossilised in its literary standard. It would eventually overtake it as the official language of Surda, as it was more familiar to the common folk and was not as strictly policed by scholars and nobles. Today, it only survives in the form of folk songs, nursery rhymes and old government records. Those capable of reading and translating it are few but highly sought after by the Surdan government.

Petrovyan Very little is known of the Petrovyan language, as even the term is most likely not what the speakers themselves called it, only that it does not seem to be closely related to either Broddring or Surdan and Aberonian. It was spoken by a human tribe that landed in Surda but migrated north (possibly as far as Gil'ead), before being pushed back to the site of today's city of Petrovya by the Broddring expansion. By the time of the Rider War, only fragments remain in dialectal expressions, toponyms (like Petrovya itself) given and family names (like that of Marcus Tábor) and local swearwords.

Real World Inspirations

The evolution of the Broddring language was heavily inspired by the real life history of English. The Ancient Language in this analogy is Old Norse, which influenced Old English to such a degree that Middle English is disputed by some scholars to be a scandinavian language (see English: Language of the Vikings by Joseph Embley Emonds and Jan Terje Faarlund). The Surdan language family is based on Romance languages, with Aberonian roughly corresponding to Classical Latin and Old Surdan to the Vulgar Latin-Old French continuum. Petrovyan was inspired by Slavic languages because, well, the name.

[mcyt-builds-contest]

Tumblr's Fandoms:

Contained : Everyone

Series : All of them

Propaganda : If you think about it, isn't the fandom the biggest prison?

Inertia:

Contained : Prince Andor

Series : Mianite S2

Propaganda : it's not only a cool as hell and wild build that still holds up after nine years (this build is from 2015!) but the inertia jailbreak is one of the most iconic parts of the series. prince andor is taken captive there after professing illegal worship of the goddess ianite, and captainsparklez and the rest of the main cast have to bust him out (via a flying rv). then, when they go back to the prison again to retreive their lost items, waglington ends up banishing everybody's least favourite npc, king helgrind, to the nether roof, as a gag, which is just incredibly funny and also a great way to get rid of a guy you don't like! it's impressive, it's a classic mcyt icon, it's an essential part of the story, and it's the site of an incredibly stupid yet wonderful goof. inertia my beloved <3

[voidandradiance]

blood

oh here's a truly abandoned one so you get a longer chunk for this

“And perhaps I can forgive you,” Andor replies, because it's a miserable truth. That does not quell the roiling anger in his stomach, in his veins. “Perhaps that means that I can forgive you for failing as a father. But I can never forgive you for what you did as a king.” Helgrind swallows, hard. His eyes dart to his sister, standing in the back of the room.“I don't know what you mean.” Andor just laughs, once, harsh enough that he can hear the family resemblance. “Don't lie to me. This is not a place for your pretty little excuses. This is a place where my blood has soaked into the floor enough times that I get to hear the truth. Because it's not just mine dried down there, is it?” There is a long, long silence. It's as good as an answer.

[coolcattime]

I’m a bit curious on what your interpretation is on Spark? If you’d like to give it!

Spark is very genuinely a character I see as trying his best.

Like I think before he left Ruxomar, he was very much put together and the man that most people who knew him would go to to solve problems around Dangrum [wtf is the town name]. Like he's almost seen as a living fable because man builds a city to impress a goddess and actually wins her heart sounds more like a bedtime story than something that actually happens to a real person, so people even from outside Dangrum will seek him out for help. It gives him a very later than life image despite how he doesn't really think he did much to earn such a reputation.

Like I'm not so sure entirely how to put this into words, but I think Spark was just a genuinely nice person with a knack for building and city planning that ended up with a lot more of a reputation than he really wanted because of the woman he married. Like I don't think Spark ever wanted to be a king or even a hero, he just really loved Ianite and wanted to impress her in a way that he knew how. Like he's okay with helping people, but it's a lot of pressure that he really doesn't want to outwardly show affecting him. Though because he doesn't, this ends up with the pressure of his name being so affecting on Helgrind and Martha - which I don't think he ever wanted but kinda happened anyway.

I also tend to see Spark kinda having empty nest syndrome (since, due to Andor and Alyssa's ages I've always assumed Martha and Helgrind are like mid to late twenties minimum by the time he left) that kinda turns into “My whole family is either dead or traumatised or both and that is entirely my fault” syndrome by the time of post timeline. Like he just throws himself into helping anyone who needs help because at first he just feels weird not having his kids around and he spoils Alyssa and his grandkids, but this just turns really unhealthy for a while when he feels his wife die and learns about from Martha and Andor what happened after his departure from Ruxomar. And I think it takes him a long long time to prioritise his own needs again.

I also, in general, think he's chill with TR. Like he has quite a bit of “Why were you doing the world saving traumas, you're all younger than my kids” but like in general is quite chill with them.

Thank you for the ask! ❤️❤️❤️

[transandor]

o right here's that conway family backstory for yall. its not perfect or entirely well thought out but . y'know 20 minutes of annoyed rage and a need to prove myself will get what you get

helgrind believed he was never good enough for spark or ianite: ianite clearly favored and leant on martha more, attributions to eldest daughter syndrome and also just hoping to raise a young goddess into perhaps taking her place, whereas spark was kind enough but stern in the way men who think they know what's best is, the kind of men who run navies and conquer lands and build cities and are the sole champions of lost goddesses. helgrind inevitably took over the kingdom, but literally only because martha "passed" on the position herself (was more or less pressured into finding her magic and studies through travel) and not because anyone thought he was fit to be king. he was constantly warring himself on whether he wanted the acceptance and aptitude of his parents or if he just flat out hated them. freya was a genuine kindness in his life, and calmed a lot of his anger. she was understanding, and fair, and intelligent. the both of them declared themselves godless, and she was the closest thing to a wizard the realm had, but not quite one.

by the time the twins are born, spark and ianite are practically gone entirely from helgrind's life, but he doesn't mind at all. the twins take startlingly after their grandparents, though, except alva's hair is a light brown whereas andor's is almost a white platinum, which means he had a Majority of the magic from helgrind's bloodline. he tries not to feel anything about this, but by the time andor can speak it's clear his grandmother has been visiting him- maybe not purposefully, but martha had many "nightmares" at that age too. it was a sort of twist of unfortunate destiny. freya dyed andor's hair brown to match his sister's, and did what she could to help andor with the magic he clearly couldn't control. helgrind kept seeing more and more of the family he wanted to forget in his son and his feelings of distress and anger kept welling up- never towards any of his family now, but he was getting distant. the boomerang was something freya had given andor to help teach him how the winds would work in his favor if he asked nicely of them- he has to ask the winds, though, she taught, and not the gods. they knew of the gods, but they tried to keep their relationship and bloodline a secret.

when freya and alva get taint sick, helgrind, unaware that it was his own mother's grief, at first, prays to her in the first time in so long. when nothing happens, and his wife and daughter eventually do die, he becomes a bitter, empty shell, and unfortunately all of his grief becomes anger. his son reminds him now of too much- his parents, who ignored him, his sister, who abandoned him, and now his dead wife and daughter. on good days, helgrind barely acknowledges his son- on bad days, andor is subject to fits of horrid fury and anger- it's never physical, but there are a few times where andor feels it would be close. eventually mianite reaches out to his nephew and promises that there are ways of ensuring this does not happen again.

andor has long since figured out- for the most part- his magic and prophecies are signs of being one of ianite's chosen. he knows he's not her champion, but he deigns to worship her anyways, in secret, once he learns more on the history of the town he's grown up in.

[licantropa]

could Spark have been king up until his leaving? like Helgrind took the crown after the disappearance.

[glbtrx]

That morning had not started off on the right foot for the king. He had business to do with the boring nobles of Gil'ead and requests from the priests of Helgrind to refuse, things that never left him in a good mood. The nobles were always so snooty and spoiled, with no regard in addressing him.

For a single moment, his mind wandered back to the old days, when, thanks to Morzan, even such monotonous works managed to be entertaining. He well remembered how often he had to refrain from smiling during meetings because of Morzan's comments in his mind.

Galbatorix dismissed the melancholy and unpleasant memories with a grimace, heading to his private studio.

However, not even a minute later, a swift figure ran in front of him, causing him to stop. "Your Majesty! Your Majesty! My liege!"

The girl, whom he recognized as the sorceress Lydia, bowed before him, asking: "Do you have a moment? Please?

No, he really didn't have time to waste at all, but a part of himself wouldn't mind delaying his business a bit. So, he remained silent and let Lydia stand up, taking a step closer to him.

"I need Dragon Blood."

Galbatorix looked at her in disbelief. What kind of request was that? Dragon's blood? His mind snapped at once to all the consequences of the question. He'd have to get Shruikan's blood, of course, but from where on exactly in his body? Was Lydia asking that blood for Durza? Wait, what kinds of spells was Blood of Dragon used for? It was something important, but he couldn't remember it well..

He raised an eyebrow, frowning. "And may I know the reason for such a request?"

@overlordmorzan

“So many problems lead back to Morzan’s death. That’s the common factor—when the Empire started to fall apart. Without him Galbatorix doesn’t give a damn.” explained Durza. 

“How did you get roped into the job of five men?” Lydia asked. 

Her number was a random one for exaggeration, but her mentor corrected it flatly: “14, actually.” 

“Why were the Forsworn incompetent?” 

“I don’t have the time to get into that, I’m afraid. But… go ahead and ask the king, I’m sure he would love to talk about it.” 

Yeah right. “You’re… leaving again already?” He had hardly been back to Uru’baen Castle for a day to update Galbatorix on his findings and plans.

“The Eragon problem is time sensitive.” 

She pleaded to go with him, but gently then firmly he refused and tried to change the subject. “Perhaps upon my return you can show me the divination methods you’ve been working on.”

“Okay…” She smiled sadly as he touched a hand to hers. “Or… I could tell you about it while you travel.”

Durza sighed, bidding her farewell.

“It hurts to be so useless to you.” she mumbled as he had started for the door.

He paused. “You’re not.”

Then she was alone. Again. Moving from the sitting room to the bedroom to sulk, wondering if she couldn’t go because he didn’t want her to see him work. Did he still think anything grotesque or frightening would alter her high opinions of him?

After a nap she used an academic project to get her mind off it, working through translations of esoteric literature… until she happened upon an idea. A foolish, dangerous, wonderful idea. If she could resurrect Morzan… Durza would have more time for himself— and for her, if the attempt didn’t kill her immediately.

She was up the rest of the night, reading and meditating as her plan came together. 

“Your majesty! Your majesty! My liege!” she exclaimed, rushing into a kneel to the king when she located him in the morning. “Do you have a moment? Please?” she asked, but wasn’t sure how to go about her request other than to throw it out there. If nothing else it would be interesting to see his reaction. She stood, stepping closer. “I need. Dragon blood.”

@glbtrx

[parfumgirlgirl3]

sparklez predicting the lore by saying “watch it turn out that one of us is the father” while referring to ianite husband spark whom we did not yet know of

[fandomstuckportal]

((OOC: i do have a bit of an issue w/ skintone + races in mianite tbh but its mostly on the part of fanart?? kudos to u if u draw anyone from mianite as their correct/a non-white race!

there are actually a few skins that convey a characters race pretty well (isles dianite is a lil dark skinned, mot is italian, martha has a bit of a yellow tint to her skintone, etc) but then theres. yknow.

the gods and their family tree are literally all of japanese descent. maybe andor  is a bit excusable bc of us not knowing much abt freya, and ianite is a tad excusable too, as well as helgrind bc he is the son of a white-as-far-as-we-know man (spark).

also poor alyssa we really did you dirty. humanized world historians also tend to get whitewashed,,,,,, sure hes a shapeshifter but Stop))

[springbudeyes]

[syn4k]

qsmp mutual: -and then he fucking went back to 2b2t. which ironically is the kindest ending he could have got considering the circumstances.

me: DAMN. thats homophobic tbh

qsmp mutual: literally. im fine though. [chugs triple shot espresso]

hermitcraft/life series mutual, sighing as they scroll their phone: joel and iskall are being homoerotic again

qsmp mutual: i mean it's hermitcraft what did you expect

hermitcraft/life series mutual: AND pix is posting Hole. cmon.

mp100 mutual who was previously in mcyt, from the other table: wait sorry back up. pixlriffs fucking what

me: hes digging a big hole in minecraft. everybody is making jokes about it.

mp100 mutual: oh okay i was worried for a sec there

mianite mutual, muttering to themself: i am going to bash king helgrind's skull in with a large rock.

me: SO true bestie

the friendful visitor: so i went to visit my friend

all of our fandom mutuals on this site are literally just. we're all just sitting down at a café table telling stories about our jobs or classes (fandoms and general interests)

[spicysoulsa]

Inktober/Octobernite Day 21 Insanity Completely devoted to Mianite? Check. Imprison your son for not doing the same? Check.

[voidandradiance]

taking mass psychic damage rn. WHY is there a king helgrind ship playlist with nickelback on it

[coolcattime]

Heyo it's the usual anon here with a bit of an angst mianite au.

I kinda have given up on this idea but i was working on it as a fic called "the man that would be king" where not long after andor was taken to the prison, helgrind very suddenly dies and andor is left either comatose from the trauma of having his wings ripped off or dies. Suddenly dagrun has no king. With this sudden vacuum of power the worshippers of mianite and mianite himself wants to put lieutenant al as regent, however sparklez is has a shockingly legitimate claim to the throne. Considering he is kinda the same person who built the kingdom. Mianite decides to hide in the shadows for now and acts through lt. al. He doesnt want to do it but is convinced by farmer steve to not abdicate his rights to the throne. Meanwhile along with tom they plan on ruling the kingdom from the shadows as dianitees by offering a future king sparklez their council (in this au sparklez never learns that steve is actually a dianitee instead of an ianitee) of course mianite can just try to take over the town by force but he doesnt want to confront a younger much more feral version of sparkplug. So he has to play around trying to slowly manipulate things to put pressure on sparklez as a leader to make him give up his claim to the throne. [Namely increasing the frequency of blood moons, stalling trade with the kingdom and even highering pirates.] While using al to try and convince him away from his faith in ianite.

Spirit dianite still shows up in this au and decides to lay low not openly declaring his presence to the heroes other than tom. Using his power he helps provide tom and steve with extra supplies and might to be worthwhile allies to sparklez.

Sonja is checked out during all this falling deeper and deeper into madness exploring thaumcraft leaving one of the few solid allies sparklez had essentially a gone.

Tucker starts snooping around and sees mianite is the one behind alot of the recent tragedy and attacks surrounding dagrun and decides to track down and confront the god.

All the while the death and the turmoil of the city causes ianite and her taint monster to stir.

And that's as far as i got. I had some plans for martha to show up during the next few parts. For tucker to confront mianite, and for more focus on sonja but i realized i dont love writing political dramas as much as love reading them

This idea story is intriguing. I think the idea of Jordan taking the throne after Helgrind dies. I think either version of Andor's fate is pretty interesting for how the story could develop as if he's in a coma then it does make sense that Jordan could be pressed into taking the throne as regent as it's unlikely Al would want to help Andor. Meanwhile, if he died then there's the point of view that could be had that Mianite is purposefully killing off people so he can do a hostile takeover of the town.

I think Steve manipulating Jordan to rule for Dianite's interests from the shadows is pretty interesting, especially with Tom helping. Though I do think maybe Tom should be a little less opening to manipulating Jordan from the shadows just because like they're friends and that's a bit of a dick move to do to your friends.

Obviously Mianite putting pressure on Jordan by basically putting siege on the town is very in character. Though trying to persuade Jordan away from Ianite I doubt will work out well for him.

I don't have too many opinions on Dianite and Sonja's side stories other than this is very funny if in the background of this political drama is the story you've earlier sent of Sonja going slightly mad from trying to revive Capsize. But I do really love the idea of Tucker going to confront Mianite because I love the idea of him actually turning against Mianite when he realises all the harm Jordan is doing.

I do think the story idea is really interesting though obviously I do see why writing this would be difficult as like this sort of story is so reliant of knowing what everyone thinks and is actually doing compared to what other characters think they're doing.

[princeandorr]

a playlist based off my pre-inertia/during inertia canon

with heavy focus on my speech and helgrind