#kinda venty lol

[onlyplatonicirl]

girlie pop im gonna say this in the nicest way possible, please work on that self esteem of yours, it makes me sad that you dont see yourself enough and you think that people hate you. the hate is inevitable but the love of others is inevitable as well :') i hope you do heal with your esteem issues coming from someone who also had to struggles with it-- stranger

i wanted to illustrate the way this ask made me feel so i made this

but seriously thank you i genuinely live in such an insane state of paranoia about this sort of thing and its literally ruining me, especially as a result of watching literally three of my friends get evaporated into smoke because they weren't good people, I feel very scared about wanting to be a good person. I don't want to hurt others they way the people around me have.

I know I am a good person but I think some part of me doesn't want to admit it because im too scared of having an ego and therefore cycling around to being a "bad person". so its this weird mental loop I'm trapped in that never ends up with a conclusion so I start relying on the opinions of other people as judges of my character, even though random strangers online telling me to kys and that i suck have no idea who I am and are not adequate judges of my moral compass in the slightest, I still end up freaking out over the fact that "what if they know something about me that i dont" which is. insanely dumb but. that's kind of how irrational thoughts work. Even if you know they're dumb and untrue sometimes you can't just logic them away.

i do need to like, lowkey see a therapist regularly about this sort of thing because I have not been getting any help and so i just sit in my bed every night looking at the ceiling like ":("

But I will say, if I take away the insane sheet of paranoia ive draped over myself to try and hyper-filter everything that comes out of my mouth, I think that I am a good person and I think that the people in my life think so too. I try my best everyday to do what I can to make this world less shitty, and I think that's the most important thing.

Ok vent over i just started drinking dr pepper while typing this. i dont think i need to go to therapy anymore this thing fixed me.

[notablenotation]

This is like, the first full illustration I've drawn in months lol. Did this for the venti fanart contest hoyo had going on but I'm very stupid and started this four hours from the deadline. Be smarter than me and don't do that maybe

[sunsetcorvid]

great god grove spoilers yadda yadda

kinda fucked up im basically this guy if he went to therapy instead of his mental illness gripping and festering until the apocalypse almost happened

[cessmaga]

genshin impact ghost au

doesn't make any sense in canon (since ghost already exists) so don't take these seriously:

the traveler's can see them, never explained why but it seems they can, paimon can't but she just goes with the traveler's shenanigans

hu tao actually can too and it's her job to take them to afterlife

venti also can (I like the idea of him and anemo having a connection to ghost and death

qiqi can see them cuz she's basically half dead

now for some ghosts

idk how but kaeya dies (there are so many theories of him that would die in a future story because of death symbolisms he had)

diluc still goes with his night missions even in death, and he wanted to reconcile with his brother after years of distance

he still doesn't trust the knights of favonius and he still has a hatred with the fatui

and he doesn't like that he shares the same plane of existence with childe, the fatui harbinger

ayato dies because ayaka's character development tm

he can be really ruthless when someone tries to harm ayaka just like childe with his family

even in death he still looks out for his clan and his sister in the shadows

he feels guilty that he fails to protect his sister

baizhu's illness did overtake him and his research to immortality is almost complete, even death he still tries to finish his research

kazuha apparently can create a breeze around him

bennet's luck still follows around him

idk how they all died and I wanted to add more

yeah idk why the traveler would hide their ghost powers, given teyvat is used to their shenanigans, maybe they don't want to freak out the people especially to people who's loved one's who died

maybe I'll expand more??

[arelenforyadarlin]

yo sorry for not making posts, dizzy and sick all the time due to meds. enjoy my thousands of reblogs as per usual lmao. i got some art coming up and plan to take part in ROTTMNT august competition so hopefully ill feed u hungry followers soon! sorry i havent been aable too for awhile

[xochimillilili]

not to be mean but why arw your dms always closed??

Being completely honest I am still so so fucking tired and burnt out socially from a few months ago. Literally just gonna say it, but I'm a dumbass who tried to care for and talk to a shit ton of people at a time lmao

Also not to mention the amount of random sexualization and faked interest in being nice to me in the hopes I'd dom them, give attention without it being returned or look at photos of their assholes. Like yeah I'm a kink blog but damn am I really just a mentally ill fuck who couldn't even shower by Himself barely two months ago lmao, ,,, yeah I'm kinda upset still ^_^ just wanna rest n care for myself most of all <3

Edit lmao but if you just got a lil question or whatever you can totally dm for that lol ^_^ I don't mind answerin shit

[lee-blogs]

Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.

My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper

[ghostwaffleheimer]

Just gonna drop this failbedo here and then never make mention of it again lol

Also some bonus sketches made on a whim bc this somehow got merged with an AU that was in its fetal stage of development and therefore easy to adjust.

[devildevotee]

i think the hardest part of demon work for me is the actual work part. i get afraid of asking for just about anything - especially to a being that is much more powerful than i. sometimes i settle and say to a demon, "i just want to have company with you and that's all i want" but they, and i, know that's not the case. i do want things in my life to change, but i'm petrified of requesting anything at the off-chance of being a burden. it's how i've been raised, and it stuck with me.

but perhaps this can be my first step. healing from the effects of everything. perhaps i can ask them for bravery, first and foremost - so i can shed the idea that they will see me the same way my parents will.

i'm going to ask for what i need them to help me with, after asking for bravery. money, ideas, creativity, drive, friendship... even energy just to get up in the morning. they have been helping me of their own accord, sure, but it's time to stop forcing them to keep guessing on what i need from them. i need to be able to request things from them, i can't put them in the same role as the villains of my life.

it took a long time. i've been like this since i began demon work and worship. i never had an issue with others working with demons for a specific result, but i've been so afraid of voicing my needs with them. it's time for that to stop.

i think they will be proud of me for that.

[rokainne]

cute boys in sexy bikinis? yes thank you 😇

[amanitapills]

🍃friends of Mondo🍃

[hunniebunniebear]

I start a new job today and it’s just hitting me thatnim gonna have to deal with all the “whats wrong with your legs” questions that people dont seem to realise are invasive. Ive been really excited abt this job but ive been so sick of being perceived in regard to my disability recently and. Aeugh. This is just,, gonna be a little exhausting.

[piercingsandfangs]

Tldr of yesterdays post; A guy lied to me about his name, gender and changed his face to not be identified since he's a rapist. He was probably planning to sa me. Could tell he was fetishizing me, wanted me to hang out with him alone, got touchy with no permission ( I'm in a relationship ), ect....😭

[yioh]

i can’t be the only one who rly does not like furina’s design😭

[jacksaysstuff]

i feel like half the people i consider friends dont consider me their friend because i kinda just meet people and if theyre nice to me and i like them i just go "okay we're friends now" which leaves me super insecure wondering if they even like me

[ragingtwilight]

BRUH

EVERYTIME I feel like im starting to feel better my body just turns around and flips me off

mf sends me off w a shove down the stairs, nausea, sweating/tremors, headache, confusion, dizziness, it pantsed me, it stole my lunch money, it gave me a swirlie, i cant fuckin win