#kinda those two theyre at the end but its very books them

[ms-erin-kallus]

No Grave Can Hold My Body Down

Chapter 17

AO3 link ~ https://archiveofourown.org/works/44541196/chapters/141874393

Why bother with this? She is just one less Imperial for the rebels to contend with.

That intrusive thought disappeared before it even finished as Kallus realized that he was one dead end away from ripping the Empire apart with his bare hands until he either found Rhoan, or ended any and everyone even remotely associated with both that day and the commodore.

Since his arrival on Lothal, all Kallus seemed to know was failure. One encounter after another, the Ghost and its crew evaded him with what seemed like an almost unnatural ally on their side. The laws of physics literally bent to their favor in front of his eyes and allowed them to escape from what should have been certain capture. It was at that moment he knew that he would never apprehend them.

With each defeat, he was left behind to look like the inept imbecile that he was beginning to feel that he really was. AWOL might have been the perfect cover to easily make her disappear, but with his skills, training, and resources he should have been able to find at least something.

It felt like she had simply been erased from existence.

Suspiciously, not a single ship left the dome the entire night before. The hangar captain in charge was telling the truth when he said that there had been no air traffic from late evening until early that morning. Even with the barrel of a blaster shoved down his throat, he made it more than obvious that the he didn’t know anything.

Though Kallus was slowly beginning to rectify who and what he had been, he knew for certain that he was already too corrupted for any hope of a complete transformation.

Concessions would always be made when he deemed necessary.

However, he realized that differentiating those necessities would prove a difficult task while he watched the trembling man fumble his way back to his feet from the floor where Kallus had shoved him. The lack of effort needed to coerce the traumatized officer as he threatened to scatter each of his children, by name, to different prison camps across the galaxy was almost second nature to him. It was a feeling of control and superiority that he previously relished, almost as if it was a necessity.

Reflexively and without realization, Alexsandr Kallus let the well practiced Imperial permanently ingrained into him do what it did best.

~

Assault was a minor offense. Granted, it was against another officer, but still, something didn’t add up. If anything, Kallus assumed Rhoan would simply be made an example of. Pryce had been off planet long enough for things to become more relaxed than she probably appreciated and punishing an officer was the perfect way to put everyone back in line. Except, that was hard to do if the defendant was nowhere to be found.

The comm next to him chirped and he grabbed it so fast he was surprised that it didn’t shatter in his hand.

‘I can’t find a single thing’ R3 wrote. ‘This doesn’t make sense, I hacked into every file in this dome and found nothing. They paused, ‘Sitringlato’s datapads and comms were suspiciously clean…like they had been wiped.’

Though a machine, Kallus could sense the dread in the droid’s words, “I’ve been going through every unconventional idea that I can think of,” he offered. Someone had to have seen something,” he responded as his head fell heavily into his free hand. The only plausible explanation he could come up with for as to why there was nothing to be found, was if things went as high up as he was afraid they had.

If so, there wouldn’t be much he could do. An ISB title could only get him so far.

‘I’m about to break into communications records, but I’m sure they were smarter than that.’

I know, Kallus thought because he too had been that careful in the past. “I’m going down to the public spaceport, maybe they took her off planet and used a civilian facility to cover their tracks.”

Silence.

‘If they took her off world we will never find her.’

I know.

~

About half an hour later, Kallus towered over a nervous spaceport supervisor that had been on vacation and returned at the worst time possible.

“I’m telling you,” she stuttered, “there is no record of anyone going out last night. There’s an orbital blockade right now. That means extensive paperwork for any and all traffic,” she paused before giving him the answer they both didn’t want to hear, “what you’re looking for just isn’t here.”

The woman visibly shook as Kallus glared down his nose at her, completely indifferent to the fact that she was a civilian and oblivious that the person he was fighting to overcome had again returned the instant he heard ‘I don’t know’.

He was tired of not knowing. He was tired of things being out of his control.

He was just tired.

“Then I want to speak to every single person that was within the facility last night. Now!” he growled. Time was quickly becoming an enemy, but he realized as he looked down at the distressed woman that mistakes were easily made with nervous, and thus, preoccupied minds.

“Yes, sir. It may take a little time to get everyone back here though,” she told him as she used the clipboard in her hands as a reason to look away from his unintentional scowl, “shift has already changed.”

Of course it has.

“Get them here promptly,” he said with as much patience as he could summon, “and comm me once they start coming in. I have another matter to tend to and won’t waste time here waiting.”

I can’t.

~

The detention block of the dome was as full as it usually was. No one ever bothered to notice droids unless something went wrong and they needed a scapegoat or some jerk needed to release some pent up aggression, so as usual, R3 simply rolled in to take a look around unimpeded.

Just as they dreaded, a thorough investigation of the main terminal at the level’s control panel yielded no results.

A series of beeps that Rhoan would’ve chastised them for rang down the hallway as they slammed their grasping arms against the paneling in frantic frustration.

An unnerving feeling that surged through their components from the moment they learned that she was gone steadily grew with every attempt that ended without the information that they desperately needed. R3 had seen the Empire make people disappear for less, but they had a feeling that this was different. It was personal and sinister, and the embarrassed commandant had something to do with it; they just knew it, and that terrified them.

And so, regardless of the main terminal’s lacking, every single console that sat to the side of their respective hold was scoured individually and meticulously using tactics not taught to them by the Empire. When that led to no result, R3 checked them again even though they knew what they would find.

Where is she?

They dared not ask anyone for anything, lest they garner unwanted attention. The last thing they needed was to stave off questions that didn’t pertain to her and only her.

R3 rolled back and stared at the lift at the end of the hallway, I’m not staying here without her.

“Hey, droid!” someone yelled from behind them, “let me out, why don’t ya?”

The little green machine turned and blinked at the twi’lek apathetically, “what are you in for?” they entertained.

“Does it matter?”

“Not really,” they answered before they turned and rolled to the lift.

“I’ll throw you in the incinerator myself if I get out of here!” the man yelled. “Fucking useless ass machine!”

“You mean useless ass free machine,” R3 beeped back as the lift doors opened and they boarded, headed for the workshop.

It was time to take a high risk chance.

~

Kallus used the time he spent waiting for the spaceport staff to arrive to look through the surveillance videos of the dome again. Sometimes he wondered if their lack of cameras in important places was as detrimental as he assumed.

It was.

Conveniently for whoever was covering their tracks, everything was gone. Imperial security blamed a rebel hack that caused a ‘catastrophic domewide outage’ that also somehow managed to last all night. The uneasiness that had crept into him from the moment he caught her outside of the base had exploded into full blown panic from the question, or worse, answer to, who would have that kind of authority and how did they get away with it so easily?

But mostly,

why?

There were outside servers where all recordings were kept for instances just like the one he was in. It was packaged as a ‘safeguard’, but in reality was just another way to cover up any and everything that needed to be.

Though he was ISB, even he didn’t have access to them.

Regardless, a favor was called in as he was finally forced to face the fact that whatever he was dealing with, it was much bigger than he was. The more time that went by the more confused he became, and the anxiety from it was physically manifesting itself deeper into the pit of his stomach as time went by.

“Agent,” a meek voice came from his side and jerked him from his thoughts. “The first has arrived. Where would you like to start?”

Kallus sighed uneasily because he already knew what he was going to find, he just dreaded having to come to terms with it fully.

“Find me somewhere quiet…and out of sight.”

~

As expected, no one saw anything unusual. If any of them were actually lying, they needed to be recruited because one person actually threw up from their fear. Again, he lost control and inadvertently slipped back into latent routine.

A handful of ships went out, but the documentation was meticulous and matched all corresponding surveillance videos,

unless she was smuggled out unchecked.

Bribery wasn’t an uncommon problem in the transportation industry. It was actually one of the most corrupt, and the possibility that someone ‘looked away’, and that he would find them in time, was a possibility that he clung to like a scared child to the safety of its mother.

By that point he was questioning everything, no matter how trivial or improbable. Nothing was going to slip by him.

Every ship’s manifest was handed over without question or hesitation and Kallus ordered each cargo load be thoroughly inspected and its results immediately relayed back to him upon its arrival under the threat of death.

Lasan was no secret, but it also wasn't exactly accurate; however, not many people knew that. Nor would they.

~

Reluctantly, Kallus was forced to pull himself away from his office where he had all but barricaded himself into, and the conversation he was in with R3, for a hangar where a ship waited to take him to a last minute, mandatory briefing with Thrawn and Pryce on the Chimera.

With a thousand thoughts running through his mind he didn’t notice the grating voice that yelled out his name from behind him. Instantly, a barely controllable rage made his veins burn with coursing fire.

“Agent Kallus,” the commodore called out again as he slowly sauntered toward him, “wait up.” The man smirked at a custodial droid that was quietly sweeping the floor in front of him before he suddenly pulled back and launched some sort of drink container that he had just finished straight at them as hard as he could.

The machine let out a series of loud, confused beeps when the bottle purposefully missed the basket attached to its front and instead hit them in the face with a hard, loud clank.

Sitringlato simply laughed as Kallus pushed past him. “You know-,” he started as he glowered straight back into the commodore’s amused eyes. It took everything in him to not add a bruise to the collection Rhoan had left behind when he picked the bottle up and faced him. “I see that your assailant has gone AWOL.” From what Kallus had learned of the commodore, he could easily use the man’s hubris against him. Just a subtle nudge and subliminal suggestion would be more than enough to get him to brag about anything he could use to find Rhoan.

Stringlato scoffed loudly, “Looks like she decided that running was her best option. She really has no idea how badly she fucked up. Stupid bitch.”

Kallus finally snapped.

Malicious intent flashed through his eyes and he knew the surprised commodore understood it as he suddenly stormed toward him.

Hands searched frantically behind him as the man stumbled, panicked from what he saw as an undoubtedly fatal threat until he found himself trapped against a wall.

“No, you don’t know how badly you just fucked up,” Kallus said down to him quietly before he smashed the bottom of the bottle he still held against the wall just above Sitringlato’s head. Pieces of the heavily reinforced glass exploded around them as the bottle easily shattered under the sheer force from with which it was viciously hit.

If it was going to take an Imperial to beat an Imperial, then that’s what was going to happen.

“You ca-“ the commodore started before Kallus slammed his fist into the wall on the opposite side of the man’s face hard enough that it left a permanent indentation.

On its impact, Kallus knew that he broke more than skin as, even through the immense volume of adrenaline that coursed through his veins, he felt an all too familiar burn as a small trail of blood fell from the gash in his damaged knuckle.

Beads of sweat quickly accumulated across the reddened skin of Sitringlato’s face as he realized that he was trapped between a fist planted firmly into the wall on one side of him and the broken end of the bottle held precariously at his throat on the opposite.

“I will only ask this once,” Kallus threatened down into the panicked face marred by an array of swollen, colorful contusions. “Where is she?”

Sitringlato yelped when Kallus pressed a sharp edge of the glass into the skin just above the major artery that pulsated rapidly in sync with his risen heart rate. “I don’t-“ he started before he felt it slowly permeate his skin. “I’m serious! I don’t know!”

Kallus menacingly began to turn the neck of the bottle so that its sharp point would also, “I don’t believe you,” he told him as he pushed his weapon further inward. “You know, it’s a common misconception that bleeding to death is a calm process,” he said as if their conversation was merely simple discourse. “You actually suffocate. No blood to pump,” Kallus paused as he watched the crimson line that disappeared down into the Imperial’s collar grow heavier, “no way for oxygen to circulate.”

Terror shot through the commodore’s eyes upon his new found knowledge and he instinctually tried to roll under Kallus’ arm to escape what he knew wouldn’t end well for him, but he didn’t get far.

“I don’t think so,” Kallus scoffed as his hand quickly left the wall and caught the man by his throat before he slammed him hard enough against the wall that it knocked the breath out of him. A yelp echoed down the empty corridor when he felt Kallus jab the broken end of the bottle into the side of his already battered face, hard. “I will give you one more chance.”

After a length of silence that Kallus deemed ‘too long’, but was in actuality a few seconds of hesitation, the pointed glass sliced easily through the softened skin of his injured eye.

“I wonder how much a bruise can bleed?” Kallus asked as he slowly looked from one side of his mangled face to the other. “I’ll start here,” he said more to himself than his victim as he dropped his free hand from the wall and grabbed the man’s chin violently.

“Okay! Okay!” Sitringlato shrieked, the cry muffled by the pressure on his throat, as Kallus carved deep enough into the man’s face he felt bone. “I’ll tell-“ he started before the man screamed loudly from what Kallus knew was a blinding, searing pain. If the man didn’t tell him what he wanted to know, truthfully, he would simply move to slice nerves until he did.

A door behind them whirred open and someone said something that Kallus couldn’t make out through the pounding in his ears. “This is ISB business, so unless you are also from the bureau, I advise you don’t make yourself a witness to this or it will be you next!”

The door quickly shut and the commodore used Kallus’ briefly unfocused attention to try another haphazard escape. It proved quickly a massive mistake on his part because he instead only managed to clumsily fall to his knees in front of an infuriated man that had finally reached his limit.

Terrified, Sitringlato scampered back against the wall and turned his bloodied face away as Kallus knelt in front of him. “I’m sorry,” he whimpered as he put his hands between them as some sort of useless shield.

“I’m not,” Kallus said coldly as he slapped the man’s hands away and grabbed his jaw to yank his face directly into his own. Wild eyes looked back at him, “this is for her,” he told him quietly as his free hand slipped behind the commodore’s head and grabbed a handful of hair.

A loud sound of snapping vertebrae filled Kallus’ ears with virulent delight when he quickly and efficiently jerked his hands in opposite directions. The murdered body slumped over onto the floor as Kallus stood and looked down to the handiwork at his feet in disgust.

“I’ve heard that this Thrawn guy is a real piece of work,” Sitringlato’s voice rang through Kallus’ ears.

Instantly, he was pulled back into the reality that he loathed returning to, “yeah,” was all he could manage to say as the vision of a dead body falling from his hands played out again in his mind.

In time.

“At least they finally got someone around here that can do their job,” the commodore smirked as the lift doors closed between the two of them.

Yeah, the airlock is too good for him, Kallus thought as he waited for it to come back.

~

“You’re late,” Pryce snapped as she buckled herself into a jump seat across from the commodore and settled in theatrically.

Kallus wasn’t in the mood for her antics and was genuinely afraid that he would snap if she kept it up. “Apologies, governor. I had to wait for the lifts,” he said as he cut a sharp, inconspicuous look to the man at his right.

“Perhaps you should’ve left sooner?” the commodore openly, bravely, and with remarkable stupidity mocked him, either oblivious to or unconcerned by the warning thrown at him.

Kallus took in a long breath and steeled himself before he sat down in the seat directly next to him and buckled in haughtily.

The other man turned and began, “there are open seats everywhere, why-“ but thought twice of it when Kallus pushed his face, seething with potential retaliation, straight into his.

As the shuttle began its slow ascent, Kallus whispered to him ominously.

“I’m going to kill you.”

Sitringlato scoffed, “is that-,” he began pompously before Kallus reached over, grabbed the belt to his harness and yanked it as hard as he could without notice from an always preoccupied Pryce.

“Safety first,” Kallus chastised the suddenly silent man sarcastically as he continued to pull until he knew the strap was tight enough to make it impossible for him to breathe easily.

There was no response other than a muffled cough and Kallus assumed that the commodore was finally beginning to realize that he was prodding someone whose rank fell outside of the military hierarchy and, thus, didn’t have to answer to him.

An arrogant smile briefly crossed Kallus’ face as he let images from the hallway play out again in his mind, but with ‘improvements’.

Luckily, the flight to the star destroyer was short and before Kallus could abandon his plans and make good on his threat to end the man where he sat, he found himself on the bridge of the Chimera in front of an oversized star chart.

“Admiral Konstantine should be with us momentarily, grand admiral,” Pryce said apologetically as she looked toward the door in almost disgust at his tardiness. It hadn’t been long since she arrived, but anyone with eyes could see that the two of them hated each other, vehemently.

“It’s quite alright, governor. I doubt that he would have much to offer,” Thrawn answered in a cool, smooth voice. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.”

Kallus couldn’t help but notice that, from the moment they arrived, Thrawn studied the commandant’s bruised face intently. Rhoan had really done a number on his eye, as even after two rotations and numerous trips to the medical facility later, it was still swollen and every shade of blue and purple. Kallus hoped that every time he looked in a mirror, he remembered how it felt when he slammed to the ground as she unleashed her torrent of unadulterated rage upon him.

“Commandant,” Thrawn suddenly interrupted. “I must ask, what happened to you?”

Sitringlato stood up a little straighter before he replied pathetically, “I was attacked viciously by a fellow officer, grand admiral.” The Imperial popped his tunic and lifted his chin as he delivered his accusation. “It was unprofessional and completely unwarranted.”

A loud, unintentional scoff escaped from Kallus before he could stop it.

“You have something to add, Agent Kallus?” Thrawn asked inquisitively. Red, glowing eyes burned into him like the summer rays of Tattooine’s dual suns.

Kallus cleared his throat and chose his words carefully, “the commandant is leaving out an important part of the story,” he barely managed to say without indicating the fury that grew exponentially with his words.

“Which is?” Thrawn continued, carefully studying Kallus’ every facial and emotional cue. It took every bit of the training he had to remain perfectly stoic in front of the intimidating alien’s inquisition.

“The captain was provoked,” he said simply in an effort to give away as little as possible unless absolutely necessary.

“I would hardly call it a provocation!” Stringlato almost screeched; his pride obviously mortally wounded.

Thrawn looked him up and down slowly and carefully before he turned back to Kallus, “do continue, agent.”

“The commandant made a very reprehensible remark, and it deeply offended and hurt the captain. She reacted in a way that, yes, was in poor judgment, but also could be seen as justifiable given the circumstance.”

“I see,” Thrawn said slowly, internalizing and reviewing the new information. “Tell me, what did you say that would warrant such an” he looked over his shoulder to his aide behind him who whispered something without an exchange, “antagonism?”

The commandant became visibly uncomfortable in an instant when he realized that his remark could only go one of two ways considering the instigation’s existence was a result of his inquisitor’s aftermath. “I, um,” he started before he cleared his throat. “I made a reference that the citizens aiding and abetting the insurgency on Batonn weren’t as ‘innocent’ as they seemingly presented themselves to be.”

It appeared that Kallus wasn’t the only one that was watching his wording carefully.

Thrawn was unnervingly silent as he looked down at the commandant. His blue face steeled and his body language rendered him immediately terse. It was only a few seconds but it felt like an eternity before he finally spoke, his voice was flat and monotone, “civilian casualties should always be kept at a minimum. The preservation of life is important if we are to keep the citizenry complacent and compliant. Wouldn’t you agree, governor?”

The color drained from her already pale complexion and Pryce stuttered as she answered, caught completely off guard, “of course, grand admiral.”

Thrawn cut his eyes toward her in a way that made Kallus shudder.

“Always,” she added with some sort of feigned agreement.

Picking up subtle cues in conversations was another part of Kallus’ extensive training. Those cues were not subtle. Their exchange was definitely a reminder, or even reprimand of some kind.

“And where is the captain now?” Thrawn asked inquisitively as he looked over to Pryce. “I am to assume that she has been detained for her crime?” he asked, assuming that she would’ve been the one to hand down, or at least approve the process.

“She has been sent to Kessel,” the commandant said proudly before Thrawn turned and showed just a brief second of surprise on his usually expressionless face.

Kallus couldn’t stop himself from turning toward Pryce, barely able to keep himself composed, “are you serious? For minor assault?” The words he spoke aloud sounded more like soft murmurs in his ears as his head began to swim at the very worst scenario he could think of.

“This seems quite unnecessary. Why such a harsh condemnation?” Thrawn asked, genuinely perplexed. The aid at his side stood with his mouth agape in shock and a look of disgusted confusion on his face.

Pryce stepped in, “we needed to make an example of her. If people know that extreme measures will be taken, then it should quell any further insubordination among the ranks. Consider it a,” she hesitated, “preemptive warning for the others.”

“That seems hardly pragmatic, Governor. I’ve learned that the most conducive crews are the ones that are respected and appreciated, not terrorized. Those very reasons are why mine have been an invaluable tool in the many successes that we have had for the Empire.”

Kallus could barely speak through the dryness in his throat, “if she was to be an example, why was her disappearance so thorough?”

“Do elaborate, agent?” Thrawn asked as he looked to him from the pair at his side that had visibly lost the confidence they had prior.

“The captain is listed as AWOL,” he informed them, barely able to hear himself, much less anyone else, speak. “I feel like it’s hard to make an example when the offender is nowhere to be found.” A sudden deafening roar in his head began to make the room spin, “her punishment will go unnoticed; thus negating its intention, will it not?”

Sitringlato cleared his throat loudly as he pulled nervously at the collar of his tunic.

“Pull yourself together,” Pryce spit at him quietly as she tried desperately to deflect the answer that she knew she wouldn’t be able to defend.

“I see that your answer is hard to swallow,” Thrawn’s aid snarked under his breath as he began to quickly scroll on his datapad.

“There’s nothing there,” Kallus warned before he realized that he had. “All of her records are gone, along with her.” Rationalize that quick, Kallus screamed at himself through clouded thoughts. It was hard enough to keep himself together without blowing his cover, “I was beginning to build a case, but there is absolutely no information on this supposed sentencing that has been handed down.” Kallus could’ve strangled Pryce where she stood, in front of them all and without hesitation, because of his next words, “without its proper trial.”

Suddenly, the commandant fell to the floor and clutched desperately at his throat as his face began to turn a dark shade of red.

Kallus struggled to breath harder than the man writhing on the floor at his feet as purple dots began to litter his field of vision.

You couldn’t even find her, how are you supposed to save her?

“Call for a medic, Commander Vanto,” Thrawn instructed almost apathetically.

“What is wrong with you?” Pryce asked dryly as Kallus dropped to the floor before he could black out and quietly hid that fact when he reached over to the commandant to unseal the top of his tunic.

“Can you breathe?” he asked as he shakily took his pulse. The man was in severe tachycardia.

“The medics are on their way,” Kallus heard Vanto say in a thick wild space accent as he studied the man suffocating on the floor but offered him no real assistance.

Kallus leaned down and made it look as if he was trying to listen to the man’s erratic breathing.

“I told you so,” was the last thing the commandant heard before Agent Kallus watched him die.

[killjoy-prince]

Manga haul!! I did end up going on my usual bookstore trip!!

[whywasthissohardtomake]

neil & jason bickering = wonderful. & i love how different everyones relationships r. Like sophie & lindy bickering vs sophie & jason vs jason & neil. All different & i love it!!

love team of Lindy, Clive, & Jason. its fun!! Lindy & jason dont talk too much so its cool that they get grouped like this based on their ability to know magic.

neil = only scruff, Humphrey, Clive, & Jason have beards. This is just a note for me lmao.

Jason thinks Sophie is hot & can cut thru his shit but nothing more. I love that this has been built up & also that this is where theyre relationship is currently going. Its kinda messy too which i like messy relationships, so thatll be fun!! (Sophie not being there when jason died noooooooo)

Clive's magic obsession & spending hours not sleeping or eating because magic (called it!!). I had not gotten here yet & yet one of my first doodles was of him sleep deprived. Fucking knew it!!

adorable team!! Thats all. I love them.

they've been in the astral space 5 months??

so almost year & half ago Jason got here

clive puts hands behind head when thinking. also becoming more sassy. So cute that the relationships hes formed r affecting who he is!!

wild predatory grin & snarl. becomes crazy over magic <3 clive my beloved.

Belinda understands humphrey on a fundamental level (turning into his mom & slapping him). This part was sooooo good. We dont see a lot of those two interacting so i love this lots!!

Humphrey Francis Eugene Geller

usually only able to evolve gifts once, Humphrey special!! (also him trying to get up after the Blood Weaver & doesn't is so funny). I love humphrey so much

Zato's true body is freaky & very cool. End of statement.

so these were the notes i made when i was listening to it while at work. (Expanded upon tho). & i was gonna write up a recap before listening to the epilogues of book 3 to give myself time to process. But ive processed & so ill write my recap once ive finished book 3 (3 hrs left).

anyway, as always, pls no spoilers!!

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

life update 2 !!

hello hello i kinda forgot about tumblr for a little bit im sorry mooties honestly not a lot has been happening ive kinda js been doing nothing but its the holidays so yippee

im going back to school in 3 days so thats fun (its not) i have a coding assessment (last coding assessment yes !!) thats due ON MY BIRTHDAY which is in 2 weeks and i havent started so thats fun

i also had a science report and 6 math tasks i forgot about so i dont think my academic comeback is happening anytime soon. im doing romeo and juliet in english and decided to try and finish a 35 page booklet (ive done 11 pages and my hand hurts) because starting coding felt like too big of a task

i cleaned my room today !! and washed my hair

oh guys i cut myself bangs the other day... theyre a bit long and theyre in my eyes but hey id rather too long than too short

i bought a bunch of clothes !!!! and i got false lashes for an early birthday present and i also bought a few books which are so unsimilar to what i normally read but they are

becoming supernatural by dr. joe dispenza

different not less by chloe hayden who also plays quinni in heartbreak high !!

the body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk

ive read through a little of the second two !!

i also am in the process of making one of those tiktok cardboard sharks. im stuck on the paper mache bit where they glue napkin or whatever down. i let it dry last night and some of its coming off so i have to go redo that

life has been okay? not really but its ok im gettin through it?? i think me and someone im very very very close to are drifting apart

also is it just me or does anyone else feel like they drift away from their friends if they dont hang out with them during the holidays? because all my friends are overseas so :(

oh also i went to a really cool fair that happened like a week ago and went on 2 of the scariest rides ive ever been on in my life !! like i went upside down about 50m in the air and it was scaryyy but i love rollercoasters and other rides like that

me and my friends (looking at u @quackethh) made a satire magazine with for an english task last year are doing the second one !!! so im really excited for that cos it was funny as shit

WAIT I JUST GOT REALLY SCARED BECAUSE I HAD A DANCE REFLECTION AND ANALYSIS TASK THAT I HAD TO SUBMIT AT THE END OF THE TERM AND I THOUGHT I DIDN'T SUBMIT IT but i did so its okay

i finished one of my shifting scripts !!! im really happy about that i js need to tweak it but yeah

sorry for the long post gang :( ilya have an amazing day muah muah

[necromycologist]

#prev the narrator tries to quit????? #that's incredible do you have any other details??

@certified-bone-owner haha ofc! i think most of my old planning documents got deleted but i'll try and put down what i can remember

iit got written while i was biiiiig into the invisible library series and also making my way through peritale so if you have any idea what those are theyre a pretty good guide to the conceit and general vibes of the setting. also looking again i think there's definitely a bit of kate milfords work/specifically trigimene foulk in his dna so. take from that what u will

the main character was this extradimensional narrator (rather obviously ig), and part of a whole guild of similar beings who were somehow recruited to guide and tell stories. i can't actually remember his name, but he was a pretty typical cynical wisecracking type. ...he also happened to be a grey jay, for some obscure 13-year-old's reasoning that i can no longer remember.

now that i think about it, he might've been a grey jay/whiskey jack because he was called jack (as in, the generic fairytale protagonist jack) but i don't really know for sure. ill call him jack for now

he was.. relatively new to the whole narration thing, i think?

stories got assigned based on difficulty level, which in practice meant how hard it was to wrangle characters into obeying the plot.

(the narrators DID tell the story, obviously, but they also spent time planting plans, drumming up resentment, etc so that characters would act as needed. by design this was limited tho as the narrators aren't really People, just conciousnesses. they tended to just get smoothed out of characters' brains once everything was done which i think was an angst thing 2..)

he got assigned a case above his paygrade, so to speak, when a prominent narrator that was meant to tell it disappeared along with their last story.

hes very determined not to screw this up. he is a Good Boy and is doing Lots of Planning and Scheming to get this to go right

unforch it turns out that at the beginning of this story not only is the villain pretty nice and actually makes friends w jack despite his supposed unmemorability, she's also very much in yuri with the hero.

like fully they lived together in a little cottagecore wizard tower i think. they are Going, eventually, to break up and become bitter and jaded towards each other. this seems very far off and remote.

he feels kinda bad for his earlier scheming now.

this is really screwin with his plans in a multitude of ways. on one hand he wants to get this job done but on the other hand these are, yknow, the only people that have ever seen him as a person in his entire sad gothboy narrator existence and he REALLY doesn't want to kill both of them.

oh yeah, did i forget to mention? they're both supposed to die at the end by the other's hand.

he's screwed himself over now!! he's quite literally cooked!! he's set the dominoes up and by golly the rube goldberg machine will run!! his friends and their happy life and town are arthur dents house and you can fuckin call jack a bulldozer driver!!

he's stuck, frantically, speeding forward and back through the story like he's in some pathetic self-inflicted timeloop, trying to find a loophole for them or a way out of telling the story to it's conclusion for him.

there's no loophole. or way out.

i never got NEARLY far enough in writing this to actually get to this part (i wrote like. two pages of actual prose and a 5 page planning doc i believe) but i think the end was either, depending on my mood, his final selfish escape out the side of the story to avoid witnessing the tragedy of it all (at which point the remainder of the book would simply be blank) or his grudging resignation to telling the story, with the hopeful implication that despite its course being set, the story could be replayed.

anyway yea that was the general plot! i kinda want to revive these guys now tbh... they were pretty cool

[magnoliamyrrh]

Paul is a fucked up manchild who berates his mom the second he gets supernatural powers and sees himself as better than everyone. That’s only if you can get past herbert’s awful writing where his villains gotta be fat and gay and he repeats these facts every single time they switch povs as if the audience has somehow forgotten (seriously, highlight every time herbert mentions the villain is fat. It’s so common it’s just boring stale writing). Paul in dune is the worst kinda self insert fanfic. Dune is such a shitty book girl how do you enjoy it

ohh he definetely is a man child; i feel bad for him in like the first half of the first book mainly bc hes a teenager, hes 15, like, a teenager teenager not an almost adult 17-18. he may come from a powerful family but hes just thrust into very messed up circumstances, more or less tortured to prove hes human, has to grapple with being some sort of raised-to-be-exceptional genetic experiment and being used in some weird intergalactic lie and war, and incredible amount of historical pressure and other things. like, at 15, hes more kid than adult dealing w this. but also, while being 15, he is smart, and charming to others, and he quickly rises to great infleunce and is good at manipulation. and yea the moment he gets some more power he turns it even against his own mother, against himself, and against others and the longer they go on the more insufferbale he becomes; what ground of expeptionalism in him existed gets raised tenfold -hes an inherently flaued character by all means who even when he tries he fucked up badly many times. i mean like hell, among all the shit he ends up doing, even just that thing that he himself didnt have the power to put shit in order, so he ends up forcing it on his son, like how he was shoved into a bunch of things when he was younger

and yes lol i am well aware of the villan thing. i do get that in this context the "fat" thing and even the gay pedo thing is moreso an allegory for greed and the keeping of and hoarding of precious things (im Not saying fat ppl are like this mind u, im not saying its good either, but in many cultures fat has or is indeed revered as a sign of wealth; and this is used to contrast to those who dont have, and i reckon this is where it comes from in the story). but yes, i do think thats uhh i hate this word problamatic. the fat thing, the gay thing, the pedo thing. definetely part of an ongoing issue of attaching several of those characteristics to villans, and also of making villans generally ugly, thus associsting the two together. like yup, its definitely not good

idk tho, i think. dune was written in the 1960s by a white dude. like, it doesnt suprise me that that stuff is in there. ive read plenty of things that have parts of them that are problamatic or outdated or offensive and it just,, is what it is. like idk i can enjoy something while also being aware and critical of the parts of it that are fucked up - i think if i wasnt able to, i wouldnt be able to like,,,, explore a lot of the literature that exists out there, especially older literature, no matter from where its from in the world or if its written by men or women. most of it or most authors at least have written some weird shit or held some weird shit. idk just a stupid parallel off the top of my head i love the 1001 nights stories - i grew up with them - but theyre filled to the brim with weird shit and problamatic things and sexism and racism and slavery and whatever else, like absolutely filled - to an extend they reflect the times. i still, however, enjoy reading them tho

i also dont know how much paul is a self insert - maybe. ive never read the dude as sympathetic or a sympathetic anti-hero much. i did find the idea that out of this all-female order theyd have the idea that a male would be the one w the greatest power and some sort of prophesied force of power weird, sooo idk maybe. but idk, if its a self insert i rlyyy dont think its supoosed to be a flattering one much. the dude just gets worse and worse as the books progress, and he ends up after fucking up so much and being too weak to fix it, exiled, alone, spending his last yesrs wondering in loneliness and deep regret. so, i dont think its shown that his superiority complex or anything else brought him something good; it just lead to tragedy

mostly i like the series for the intricacy of its plot and the way its introduced, the messages it tries to send even if it at times fails or does so badly. like yea, its not perfect, but it is trying to ssy something about foreign meddeling and co-opting of religions and cultures and desperste situstions, or colonialism and capitalism, of exploitation, greed, power, etc. and also in very large part its lore, its scifi elements, its weird out there mysticism, and all the parts of it that are very, very weird. i am fascinsted by the world that this dude created. im a really big fan of magical realism and to an extent the books are like this - because they start more normal and over time become more and more mystical and fantastical and weird and less grounded as more concepts, creatures, and affects of the spice are introduced. i also do like that the main character isnt an actual hero. all this talk of prophecy and whatever, but its all bad, and it goes so fucking bad. its to an extent a subversion of classical fantasy tropes, combined with space scifi.... and yes. there are times when the writing isnt great, or when its outdated, or when it hammers things again and again (like the villan thing). i also think in many places the writing is intriguing, careful, and calls for attention and contemplation of what is happening

and idk apart from something like 1001 nights..... to an extend, i feel abt dune as i feel about game of thrones. i rly love those books. yes theyre writing by an old white man. yes there are parts of them (less than the show id say) which are problamatic and outdated and i could go on a whole list about that. but, i still enjoy them. i think the world grrm martin created is insanely insanelyyy complex, beautiful, fascinating, the lore is some of the deepest and most intriguing ive ever seen, and the character writing - the sheer complexity of the characters, the willingness to show how fucked up humans are and how often things are so stupidly complicated, the way he can get us to love even insufferable characters, the way there are no perfect good heros, the broader anti-war and even climate change message, the harsh and grounded realism of much of the series,,, the way theyre also kinda like magic realism, bc over the books magic keeps coming back more and more, the world becomes more full of mystic and mystery and prophecies which arent 100% true, the way the books are largely a subversion of fantasy tropes. like, yea. theyve got issues, grrm martins writings got issues. but i think theyre brilliant in many ways at the same time 🤷‍♀️

so i guess. yea. im definitely not saying the books dont have issues or theyre perfect or theyre the peak of literature. but im still able to enjoy parts of them

[cielospeaks]

ok predictions/reactions to f-h (not negative necessarily?)

firstoff the banner itself

-shame abt the 17 stuff. imo its really fucking clear that the people in charge of f e as a whole hate the game for its more whimsical/shonen/super sentai tone of “friendship and understanding” and just want a cringey “angst” fest (aka angst that just excuses horrible characters) like 16 (and to be fair a lot of other things in the franchise too). but like imo its not the worst. the vas are clearly doing a good job and the artist too, and its cool and cute to see ivy in the game, even if its just a seasonal

-the others i dont rlly care abt. if i liked e ir at all i def dont after she screwed over an entire country and her presumable former friends there just because she found out her birth family’s world is a place she likes better. like its awful what she went through but imo she still killed a person for no reason when she couldve just told the truth, and even if it would have been painful she should have taken responsibility for her position. but whatever its very eh. and thats all my thoughts pretty much. actually suprised f jorm wasnt the duo but whatevs

-the new story/new oc: i was rooting for all 4 alfr to get resplendent/ect darn it! oh well. it looks like most likely peo and plumie will be the focus (which is good for me bc i love plumie but i wish tri would get good things too ; ; ) and hopefully tri and peo will actually get scenes together acknowledging their relationship as sisters (esp as it was alluded to in last years peo! gosh i hope so pls.) bc b4 screwed them over (esp tri) big time with its fruitless and nonsensical “plot twists”

-another thing that im really happy abt is that the temptri stories (except b3 for... reasons) tend to not involve the main cast of the game, which honestly is a breath of fresh air. b2′s one was horrendous bc of the dragons and the retcons, but it could have been so much worse. 3′s too if im being honest. e irs obsession w the main cast is... very regrettable but also understandable, so it wasnt too much detracting imo. im just hoping they keep this up with b4 and dont fucking involve those horrible and ridiculous “plot twists” from book 4. can we please just fucking forget any shitty changeling stories/plotlines in any media ever pls. (except m l p. youre cool you can stay. cough cough unrealistic expectations for this kind of story cough cough)

-that being said plumie + peo is hilarious and sweet. plumie calling her a little petal or something is so funny/cute. and my kasuplumie shipper heart is like “aw plumie took up nicknaming people from kasumi!” like this is character development done right take notes b2 temptri. i think itll be really wholesome if they do end up being the ascendants for this year, seeing them become friends. i would have liked tri but i feel like it also fits as the two of them are the more active of their groups (mira is really passive, and i feel like tri is more distant than aggressive like plumie is). so plumie being super jaded and scornful + peo being really caring with no strings attached and self sacrificing will be really wholesome to see if it comes to pass

-new character: interesting that theyre a rearmed but ok saitama face. people are saying maybe 4/5 next but i feel like it could be 17 (and add less royalty characters- maybe one of the younger siblings, the player character, side characters/enemy only? morion pls im politely asking). i think the best case scenario is theyre the queen from the past, that would be wholesome to have her actually meet kind friends in the alfr. kinda like another character i dont really have anything against her when she was a child- she kidnapped and forced children to work for her just bc they were poor and from a bad home life as an adult, but as a child she was abused by her peers and only treated well by her brother bc he wanted to marry her off to them. like her actually meeting nice people and getting standards would be great but idk if itll happen.

-also just fucking release that dirtbag in the next mythic. just let the memes die. im sick of this guy and ive been sick of him for years. glad hes not much plot relevant.

tldr the good news is i get to save orbs bc i spent them all on not getting shez wooo (sarcasm) (also donny is so pure im so glad hes the free unit!!!! get hype!!!)

[im-smart-i-swear]

Weirder question, but...

If FNiN took place in the HTTYD universe, what species of dragons would they have? (Alternatively, who would be which if we're talking about A.I)

felix - i feel like instead of a full-on rider, he would be more of a tinkerer/blacksmith and would focus on inventions(if somehow him and hiccup ever met they would end up talking for hours-). you know, making saddles and stuff like that! soooo he has a huge black gronckle!(yes this is an excuse to put caban here). alternatively an armorwing would propably suit him well - for obvious reasons.

net - uhhh he would want something cool and fast maybe? - so a deadly nadder or a razorwhip? im not really sure about this one though... or a changewing! since he likes petty revenge and overcomplicated plans? and also doesnt like to take responsbility? so a dragon who can turn invisible might be up his alley!(hes so funny to me i love him)

nika - okay, so we know this girl has a good hand with big dangerous animals(i can recall two seperate occasions of her vibing with a bear), and im assuming shes still an orphan here and would propably at least partially fend for herself - thus i am giving her something absolutely huge and overpowered, like a crimson goregutter or a timberjack or thyphoomerang or something. shes very emphatetic and caring, so maybe she helped a hurt dragon and it decided to start protecting her?

laura - shes definetly the best rider out of this four(horses cant be that diffrent from dragons, right?) and i bet shes good with animals - and thats why i think she should have either a razorwhip or a monstrous nightmare. shes competent and knows what shes doing!

golem golem(my sweet man. i love this guy so much) - uhhh he literally has. a body. a humanoid one at that. so shouldnt it be more fitting for him to be a regular human?? but then again hes very far from anything regular so.. hm. if we're going with dragons, definetly something big and bulky for him! a rumblethorn perhaps? and if hes human then hes just riding one.

manfred - hm. ai are so diffrent from humans in fnin that its kinda hard to assign dragons to them?? but also theyre literally people. ngl im kinda tempted to make him nets older brother/uncle here. but i also think it would be funny if he was just. a really smart terrible terror? i remember in the first(?) book he got a body and it was this small wall-e esque thingy? also i think him being small and easy to look over and underestimate fits well with how in the books the trio sometimes forgets hes there or net accidentally turns him off(imagine this extremely pissed off terrible terror stuck in the bag net carries him around in). basically hes a cat but can fly and breathe fire

konpopoz - my mind tells me hes a speed stinger. i dont know why. it doesnt even fit since hes slow and bulky?? basically hed be any dragon the riders usually find annoying or likely to cause problems. so a changewing mayhaps? since they can easily go unnoticed and have a nasty attitude! and if hes a human then i imagine hes like that old cabbage man from defenders of berk but less evil. just an asshole who hates his job.

morten - he could work well both as a dragon hunter and a dragon. something like the red death or an alpha seems fitting, but i honestly think he would work better as either a whispering/screaming death or a queen of those fire-bee dragons(i dont remember what theyre called).

thank you for the ask, coming up with all these concepts was really fun!

[the-roadtrip-system]

i apologize for just how long this post is but i have many opinions

my first and main recommendation would be cavern crusher! its sorta like minecraft except in roblox and you play as very bouncy things called “asterians”! and when i say "bouncy" i mean that every time you move the ears and tail go buck wild with the jiggle physics lmao they also sleep if you go without moving for too long which is very cute :3

you just mine blocks and you can place them and build stuff and basically do whatever you want! the world is your sandbox! it generates in real time every time you break a block as well! you can find water and lava in caves, but you can jsut swim in both no problem, without worrying about oxygen. and theres so many ores you can find! including some very silly ones like orekitty (just a big orange cat) or vintage computer (need i say more)

the devs do plan on adding combat to the game, with there being enemies in caves to deal with, but until that gets added theres zero threats in this game at all. even the literal bombs you can find in caves only blow up blocks! no damage to you at all! and the music in this game is very nice :)

it also does this thing where when you leave the game (either by pressing leave or closing out of roblox entirely) it plays a little audio thing for it! the only other game ive seen do this is pressure and i always thought that was very cool so im glad more games are doing it now :3

if you like fighting games i'd recommend phighting! with a ph instead of an f and the exclamation mark at the end. idk why its named like that. but its got a cool premise! each character is based around a specific gear (ban hammer, rocket launcher, subspace tripmine, etc) and all of the maps are larger remakes of old roblox maps!

regretevator is also pretty fun! you get in the elevator and it takes you to a bunch of random floors! some are shops, some are obbys, theres a couple of boss fights, its pretty fun! it definitely does have its moments though (one floor is a dark creepy maze, one is the backrooms where players get chased by something, fuckign flesh cousin exists). i personally wouldnt consider it to be "scary", but i doubt im the best judge of that.

theres also the classic murder mystery 2 which is about as scary as among us. that is to say: only scary if you have an extreme phobia of death and/or murder.

its been a pretty long time since i actually played either of these games so theres a good chance at least one of them has gone to shit with newer updates, but creatures of sonaria and dragon adventures were pretty fun! the first is a survival game where you play as different creatures, and the second is where you just own dragons!

and theres some pokemon-style creature capture games like doodle world! im picking doodle world specifically because the creatures are extremely cute theyre literally just silly drawings :3

theres also some games that are intended for roleplaying, but i just kinda make characters and explore the map without talking to anyone. griffins destiny, dragons life (including the legacy version), wings of fire, wolves life dawn and wolves life 3, a wolves pack, a lions pride, felandia, warrior cats ultimate edition, horse world, etc. two of those are specifically based around book series but you dont need to know anything about either to run around aimlessly so im including them!

i hope at least one of these is something you could enjoy! :D

@ people who play roblox

I'm looking for some non-tycoon games to play that aren't horror. All I ever play are tycoons and simulators, and I only know of like.... maybe 3 games that aren't either of those, but they're games that include jumpscares and scary stuff, and. I'm just not built for horror games. I get spooked way too easily

With that in mind, does anyone have any suggestions for games that I should try?

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Welcome Home Website (Part 3)

ok so i know its been forever since my last post but i was busy with real life stuff but im back now !!! hopefully i will be able to finish this today because i wanna continue playing arcadekitten games before i get busy LOL

anyways spoilers under the cut

so last i left off was the media page which i finished so now its time to look at the news

bug

oh also new drawings

oh also !!! MINI JULIE AND FRANK

so cute i love these two

you cannot click on the little speech bubbles above them

i tried to open the image but it only opens the drawing of Frank and Julie singing?? it seems i cannot access the speech bubbles which oof

alright time to read the actual news update

ok so before that i wanted to open all the secrets i found in part 1 and 2 and !!! while i was going back i remembered about how you can click 'you' on The Neighborhood page so i did it just for funsies

THERES ANOTHER DRAWING HERE !!

opens up a tab also called 'You' lol

more Wally audio

very interesting his voice kinda glitches out on 'cant' when he says 'its ok if you cant'

and that effect of another voice on his continues until he says 'i will talk to you'

hmm is it just glitchy audio or does it mean something more ????? like, i remember in the guestbook before the update when there was blank parts, there was hidden text from Wally and 'W a L L y' and i remember hearing from someone that that might mean there's two different entities one is actually Wally and the other is pretending to be or like possessing him or smth

is the deeper voice in this audio just a glitch effect or some more evidence to that theory?? probably just a glitch effect but still LOL

ok now onto the actual news LOL

"We have definitive proof that Welcome Home is real, we can finally hear them." hmmm thats sus

oh its just about the audio recordings LMAOAOAOO

also the exhibition!!!! im so excited to look into that

aww theyre closing the guestbook :(( well thats alright i'll check out the new stuff on the last page when i get there

"I believe closing the guest book was a good idea anyhow. There are. There are images I don’t remember uploading to decorate your messages. I don’t know how they got there." oho?? do they mean the little drawings by Wally? fascinating

"But! Please excuse those pesky bugs, dear neighbor! What is a beautiful home without a pest or two?" feels like a little hint towards the bugs all over the site which... too late for me LOL

"Don’t forget to wave up high!" this. what does this mean. its definitely connected to that so below image right? definitely

oh and there's one more update under the big one

fascinating the ringing ??? what ringing ??

well thats all for the News page, time to check out the bug video

so its Howdy talking about his family drama (!! gossip) to Barnaby while wally is just chilling i guess with a drink

right so all the similarities between the bug videos are 1) the tabs are all called answer 2) the audio is of two of the characters having a conversation with each other 3) the camera is focused on a random object thats related to the context of their location 4) they all end and glitch out on Wally's name being said 5) they all end with one of the other neighbors asking Wally a question

the fact that they all end with a question being asked (to Wally) and then the tabs all being titled 'answer' mean something maybe its him trying to answer? or trying to remember his answer? because all the questions are something like 'what do you think Wally?' like,, all questions about his opinion/feelings/thoughts on something yk

its significant im sure, just not sure what the answer is

im still bothered that i cant open the speech bubbles above Frank and Julie but i'll let go of it for now and move onto the next page! which is the stickers page !!!!

so first off the 'i' in 'stickers' in the text is interesting, not sure what it means or if its even supposed to be a clue LOL could just be the font (but that doesnt make sense because its not consistent with the other i's)

oh also the bug and the flower(?) drawing

so the flower leads to another tab called 'i'

!!!!!! LOOK AT THIS LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO FUCKING CUTE GRAAHHHHHH

i love the stickers

banners from before the update, can no longer click on the Barnaby gif

OMG SEASONAL BANNERS !! BARNABY AND WALLY FOR WINTER, FRANK AND EDDIE FOR SPRING, JULIE AND SALLY FOR SUMMER AND HOWDY AND POPPY FOR AUTUMN !!! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

theyre all so cute also just look at Frank and Eddie theyre in love!!!! i ship them !!!!

anyways thats all for the sticker page, so time to check out the secrets

HELP ME THE BUG VIDEO IS JUST JULIE TRYING TO PROVE SO HARD THAT SHE'S FUNNY AND BARNABY IS LIKE 'sure jan' IM CACKLING

i love them !! thats not the dynamic i expected for them but it works really well

continuing the trend of Wally being asked for his opinion on something

now onto the audio

BRO WHEN THE DRAWING ANIMATION CAME ON I GOT SCARED LMAOAOAO

so those are definitely Wally's eyes

i think its interesting that the pupils were drawn in different ways

the right eye had its pupil drawn with a big circle and then spirals inward to fill it

while the left eye started with a smaller spiral that grows bigger

very interesting

time for the audio

its Wally explaining how to draw an eye,,, which is a clue a clue !!!! because in a past audio he said 'thats what an eye looks like' which means !!!!!!!! this comes before that!!

going back through the audios and actually i think on 'Help' Wally's voice has a small glitch when he says 'hear' but i may just be hearing things lol

so there's definitely an order to the audios, i think the first one is the one where he says 'welcome home! hahaha'

wait backing up. i do not remember the 'Will' audio being that. did i listen to that??? well i have now and what the fuck does that mean

is the 'You' audio after the 'a' audio? it feels like it but probably not

ok thats all for the stickers page !!

and for this post lol im gonna give my laptop a break before it overheats and explodes

but i am so excited to get to merchandise then the actual exhibition!! so hyped !! that will be later though, byebye !!

[arlecchno]

laughs in currently on summer break ,,,,,,

speaking of that tho , ive been busying myself by playing video games so much LMAO me and my silly visual novel names ( because im too lazy to play anything that needs me to put actual effort into it hahahhahahaha - )

SO THE STORY RIGHT - its a think me and my friend have been workin on since like the end of 2021 n its like set in a royal fantasy like au , fantasy monsters are something that havent been brought up in the discussion but we have cool magic stuff LOL . the most stuff thats defined is the very basic plot idea , the MCs r named Ashe Najimek ( prince , any pronouns ) , Rin Vasilios ( princess , she/her ) , and Kiole Soubaki ( king , he/him ) . dont question ANY of these last names because najimeks is just a keyboard smash and the rest were chosen by my friend they have no significant whatsoever LOL . aaaanyways , rin and ashe are basically from this mainland where all the kingdoms are secretly feuding with eachother but in order to maintain peace for the citizens they wont start an actual war . basically its every kingdom for themselves except for their silly trading systems . ashe and rins kingdoms are like at eachothers throats now since ashe and rin were born with the most magical power their lands have ever seen and its that trope where “child gets born into power and parents use them for own benefit causing child to rebel” yada yada but WUH OH WHATS THAT IS THAT 🫢🫢😨😱 GASP ANGST ?!?????!???? yeah lets go were tormenting our characters today baby ‼️‼️ the full book will go into the struggles of rin and ashe and how they end up as a result of how they take their circumstances . and how they become friends bc of those circumstances . lovely friendship . oh and theres two others that are their guards . Sio and Erza Eztli . theyre twins n stuff . THEY WILL GET DEVELOPMENT TOO WE JUST SHANT SPEAK OF IT NOW . im planning to make them long lost siblings tho lmao ! omg ive gone on such a long rant and i still havent talked about kiole . anyways so kiole is the token mentor character which i will not go into detail because SPOILERS MAYBE . he rules the edgy edgy kingdom of DEATH AND DARKNESS and all the other kingdoms have kinda outcasted his so nobody knows the fucker outside of whispers from the shadowed souls themselves MUAHAHAHAH - ahem anyways .

HERE ARE OUR MCSSS i love them awaaaaaaa

GOSH THO GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SCHOOL STUFF THAT SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH BYE 😭😭😭

i also JUST read chapter 5 recently and like …

( for context my friends name / nickname is roof )

ANYWAYS THATS IT FOR NOW CYA LATTEEEERRR !!!!

RAHHHHH HELLO TO YOUUUU!!!! hope you're enjoying your summer break 🫂

AND YOUR STORY TOO!!!!!!! that sounds so interesting already and ROYAL FANTASY AU⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ SIGN ME TF UP BRO I LIVEEE FOR FANTASY AUS bro you got me hooked with the storyline and characters already and it's still in the works 🤞🤞 their last names are soooo creative too like even if they're a keyboard smash or whatever,,,, still so intriguing like yes sign me up AGAIN!!!! wish my keyboard makes up random and cool last names lmao

THE MCS...... please let me touch their hair i swear they've GOT to have the most silkiest hair in their kingdoms like excuse me let me bow down to them and ask them for tips and tricks 😞🙏

thank you hehe school is.... yeah whatever school's been the same for me but i thrive to live up to the day asphodelus finally ends LOL i need to get that series done before i'm even more burnt out

LMAO YOUR FRIEND'S NICKNAME BEING ROOF IS GOLD 😭 fun fact i was literally like brain dead trying to figure out some bad humour to insert in those lines but somehow ended up with that... (may or may not be a bit of a self insert because i totally don't stare at my own ceiling and wished i was the ceiling instead hahaha definitely haven't.... ever.....)

HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL THESE DAYS AND I'LL CYA LATER TOOOO💌💌

[ess-presso]

hi ess <3

miss taylor: dancing with our hands tied, blank space, & treacherous <3

ty for the fic rec <3 i love texting fics sm i eat em up everytime. here's one for u, operation: toebeans by moonymoment (cute lil wolfstar fic, they fuck around with minnie and shes so tired of them)

chatting <3

id love to see a massive colonel sanders statue irl. it would definitely be significant enough for people to make pilgrimages to it & in fact i think id visit it myself.

fuck san francisco (im sure its lovely) i hate it there (it looks kinda cool tbh). sadly we've already broken best friend code cause she lives in a different city for uni 💔💔 havent seen that bitch since the beginning of january and im losing my mind. but its fine i think i get to see her this month����

ah yes the only two requirements to date someone: be hot and funny. (no but fr thats it. the bar is so low)

hozier <3333 (yes canadian money smells like maple syrup!!! just the notes though not the coins. i wish the coins were scented too)

now for the jesus/judas au..... i think peter simply has to be judas. but for jesus i wanna say james because judas revealed jesus' identity = peter revealing james & lily's location (although sirius as jesus would be funny too with his long jesus-like hair & the way he kinda came back to life via escaping azkaban)

american harry styles scares me fr.

fuck seagulls like actually. they always steal my food at the beach while im swimming and i cant swim back in time to stop them. theyre public enemies around these parts.

oh god. an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old while he has another gf...... so fucking gross. (someone free both those girls rn. actual leonardo dicaprio behaviour)

i got anne carson's sappho fragments book for christmas & i was gonna go ahead and annotate it but now i feel like i should wait until i have someone to annotate it for. or maybe ill just annotate it and then i can give it to my person when they come along <3

ur def right im the opposite of final girl material but i am impulsive and stubborn so i will explore the church if its the last thing i do. (it will be the last thing i do cause im gonna end up getting myself killed)

six cans of monster can cure anything & i truly believe that. even a horrible hangover.

philosopher's stone>>>> sorcerer's stone sounds so bad anyways. im glad canada isnt quite dumb enough to get the sorcerer's stone treatment.

all of my halloween costumes are pretty lame tbh. i was a bee for my first bday (hence my nickname) but ive been a witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, etc. nothing special really

u should definitely tell harvard. theyd be too stunned to deny u entry its foolproof.

i loved blowing things up in chem. truly my only motivation to go to class.

using music apps based on our fav colours thats so real of us.

i may not have gotten wingstop but i did see florida (jumpscare)

joey in season one <3333

infinite bag of money thats a great idea how did i not think of that.

u will be banker one day. im manifesting this for u.

tumblr will forever be the superior social media idc. this website is untouchable.

oh god that guys a mummy's boy...... freud would absolutely lose his mind. a field day.

i understand u. like sometimes ur drunk self has a mind of its own and will do random shit. ive cut my hair drunk and woke up very confused but at least i managed to not botch it!!!

love in the dark is SUCH A JEGULUS SONGGG oh my god. adding to my jegulus playlist right this instant.

omg listening to music while looking at art>>>>>> perfection. makes u feel so peaceful and cool fr. (WENDYS!!! i love wendys so much.)

ur completely right id rather be having a horrible time with liv than be somewhere nice with someone i hate. doesnt matter what we're doing or whats happening it'll just be better if shes there.

i love that taylor likes 13 like yes girl me too. but 13 is actually a lucky number in italy so my family has always liked it!

oh god james and lily im so sorry......im just glad i wasnt born in 1981 or else id be highly suspicious that im the reincarnation of one of them.

american and canadian accents are super similar unless we're talking southern united states or far eastern canada. they literally sound irish over there no joke.

drarry <3 i just love the angst. so many possibilities for them.

jily & jegulus <33 ur right, jegulus for the fics (theres just SO many good ones) but jily for the ships theyre just so sweet.

after that guy i swore to never watch a movie for someone i like ever again. (also mainly because most of the time the movie is SO BAD!!!!) but yes its so cute when ur watching something with someone and they tell u all about it <333

we kinda did have a lot of paint lying around! it was mostly just lil kid art sets with crappy cheap markers and pencils but they were fun. if i was lucky i was allowed to use my parents fancy stuff.

it was genuinely so funny like i wish i couldve seen the sock fall from the audience's perspective i bet it was ridiculous.

literally ezra/aria. it was so gross but at least it wasnt real.

rude old people make me so mad like how have u lived so much of ur life and still carry so much hate in u......get a life old lady!!!!!!

hermione & harry <33

its true dramione fics are better. romione fics are usually just as bland as they are in canon. still cute tho.

tote bags!!!! love em. and omg a pride and prejudice tote thats so cool. i have one with constellations all over it i love it sm. (but also tote bags make my shoulders hurt so bad i swear im gonna get scoliosis one day)

wireless headphones till i die!!!!! how am i supposed to clean my room while watching netflix or something with wired headphones. how am i supposed to cook with wired headphones.

omg a 2! alexa play lover by taylor swift. (im a 5, apparently the investigators. i do love solving a good puzzle so ill take it)

red nail polish 4ever. looks good with anything i swear. my fav is a dark wine red and its just perfect.

wait thats so funny. it sounds straight out of an episode of friends or something. (glad everyones okay!!!!)

THATS SO CUTE!!!!! AHHHHH! top tier gift fr.

also a top tier gift. signed copies of ur fav books + unabridged podg + museums???? a flawless gift.

THE EMMA QUOTE OHHHH MY GOD!! i love that quote so fucking much. those are all so good. quotes that make u feel completely unzipped are the best always.

that poem is so good wtf. "i fear no fate (for you are my fate my sweet)" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! IM UNWELL.

i wanna visit the lake district so bad ohhh my god. it looks so nice. the air looks so crisp there.

the locket that is so cute im crying!!!!!! i have a pic of liv and i from when were like 3/4 grinning at each other and ive wanted to put it in a locket forever so u have inspired me thatll be her bday gift.

tigers are so cool thats an excellent choice. king of the jungle fr.

horror movies & romcoms thats so real of u. the duality of man. & horror movie adrenaline rushes are unlike anything i swear.

not picking between jily and jegulus REAL!!! theyre both so perfect.

answering qs!

im not allergic to anything! (that i know of. so far so good.)

i totally believe in fate, at least to the "everything happens for a reason" degree. i think people need to just live their lives and let things happen cause we cant control everything and it would be impossible to even try. if its meant to be then itll be.

i accidentally fucked up a really good friendship a while ago by not being there for someone when they needed it (to be fair we were both going THRU it so i didnt realize) but we both moved on & they had moved to a different school so we drifted apart eventually. shit happens but theyre happier now so thats good.

i wake up bright and early (its 12pm.) i gracefully get out of bed (i sit on my phone for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed) i go brush my teeth and do skincare (i do brush my teeth but i definitely dont feel like doing skincare) i go make a nice nutritious meal (i make a coffee and some toast if its a good day) i do a wakeup workout (i sit in bed and drink my coffee) i get dressed for the day (im not changing out of my pjs) i do my makeup (im not doing my makeup) i head to campus for my class (my class is online. i stay in bed.)

spiderman or thor!!! ive never read any of the comics so this is purely based on their movies but peter parker i love that man. and thor is a dumb idiot i love him.

i think id switch lives with either elon musk or jeff bezos so i can give away all their money to charity or to pay for important things that they can afford like solving world hunger. i think id also love to switch lives with timothee chalamet like what goes on in that boy's head hes so funny sometimes.

(like which pre-existing fic do i wish i was the author of?) i wish i had written just lovers by zar (also intermission by zar) just because that fic is a masterpiece and to be the author of such a work of art would be an honour.

i wish i had written the iliad and the odyssey cause it would be cool as fuck to be as iconic as homer. (also since homer mightve not actually existed id love to be that much of an enigma too. keep em guessing)

ive never been in love! ive liked people but it never gets past that. i guess im just waiting for the right person to come along. but also, in a way i think i fall in love with everyone i meet. some people are just so cool and ill carry that memory of them forever.

i dance and sing a lot when im drunk. i get loud in general but i will karaoke the shit out of whatever is playing. also i get giggly cause everything becomes funny for no reason.

the worst fight liv and i have had is so dumb, she called me telling me that she was having people over at her place for her bday. i said i wasnt sure if i could make it bc i had 4 papers due that same weekend but i would try bc i obviously wanted to be there for her bday. she called me back a bit later sobbing saying she wanted me to be there and that she was mad i might miss it, i started sobbing because i felt bad and because i was overwhelmed, i told her okay, id be there no matter what, she said okay. we hung up and then she called me back 10 mins later completely fine and we both apologized for the dramatics & everything was fine and i managed to write my 4 papers in time so i could go. (uni and exams were kicking both our asses & we both had a breakdown cause neither of us had slept in like 2 days at that point lmfao)

probably either stargazing and seeing sirius & regulus & that comet, or when i last saw liv in january - we got coffee and walked around a lake for like 3 hours and talked shit abt the bitchy people from high school. it was lovely.

jegulily yes! ive never read any jegulily but i wouldnt mind reading some at some point. again, james has two hands!!! plus i think their dynamic is so fun.

i actually dont watch a whole lot of romcoms so i had to look up which movies would be considered romcoms and from that search my favs that ive seen are: enchanted, easy A, mamma mia, & 10 things i hate about you!

i also dont watch a lot of horror movies but i was fucking OBSESSED with IT in 2017 like fully obsessed. my entire personality was from that goddamn movie.

qs for u!

piercings vs tattoos?

whats your fatal flaw?

if u were any emoji which would u be?

whats ur love language?

fav superhero?

fav fic of all time

fav disney/pixar movie?

whats ur preferred method of annotating books? (like do u add random commentary or do u add deep analysis & thoughts?

what do u think ur animagus would be?

fav aesthetic?

do u prefer to stay in to watch a movie or go to the theatres?

fav day of the week and why

whats your literary archetype? (fun lil quiz, i got the ruler)

thats all for now <3

-bee

bee my darling <333

(first apologies for replying late.I seem to have a knack with doing those kind of things. but now I'm on half-term break , exams are over, so I'm mostly a free bird !!!)

miss Taylor -

dancing with our hands tied - JEGULUS - 'I loved u in secret'. that's all. secret love is theirs , they own it . also also , this is so regulus's line - 'I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us'. HIM HIM HIMMMM.

blank space - all the women - I simply couldn't choose between them and since this song is very very female rage to me , I'll say all of them. especially Marlene , because if she's one to sleep around , you just know she was shamed for it.

treacherous - WOLFSTAR - I just really feel the vibe of sirius being like 'I'll follow you home' and remus thinking that the love he feels for sirius is treacherous !!!

chatting ----->

nah imagine being under that statue and you see boxes of free kfc just hanging around . colonel the redeemer would be gods child fr.

everything in the us looks either cool or dangerous. SHE BROKE THE BFF CODE. yta divorce immediately. lu lives like five minutes away from me and it's to and fro from there like everyday. I see him all the time and I haven't even thought about the possibility that one day I might not see him everyday. like that's not happening. peace to u bee , u brave for not tearing the fuck up.

nah fr where are my hot and funny little bitches/bastards. like bro come here and kiss me on the mouth and take me out and we can get married in like an hour.

hosier is bae baeeee. (that's so fucking cool. and I think the coins should so smell like maple syrup. it's fucking unjust that they don't. sue Trudeau.)

Peter = judas and James = Jesus (and I so see ur point with the sirius looking like Jesus parallel. like James (if he was alive) would've so made some jokes about that.

TALKING ABOUT HARRY STYLES - please tell me you saw him at the brit awards yesterday. please. I was in fucking tears when I saw. like broooo he mentioned Zayn??? my boy Zayn ???? my directioner heart is healing for real. (and lewis Capaldi is probably the only person in the world who can among to get the band back together. he has the power.)

I get chased by them whenever I'm at the beach and they've stolen chips from my fish and chips before and it's so fucking annoying like genuinely I wish they'd go fuck themselves.

no genuinely someone should arrest that guy. fucking hate him. piss bag.

ahhhhh annotate it and then buy a new copy for your person and annotate with shit like 'made me think of u' and everything I would cry my fucking eyes out if someone gave me that.

nah bee a nun gonna fly in and drop kick u in the face (now laughing at this image)

it did not cure my hangover ! it made it worse !!! and the worst part was that lu was also hungover so he couldn't work his magic with his hangover potion. and he also emptied his insides out (he threw up) and I was his sick nurse and made him soup and everything. (he was so out of it it was funny as fuck)

canada is smarter than the use for sure (free healthcare and gun control for one.)

bee as a bee oh my god that's so cute (and those costumes aren't lame they're classics)

fr Harvard is so calling.

blowing things up is so so fun. I used ethanol in class recently (there was a big boom) and it was very funnn.

yes pink and green stay winning always >>>

ew not florida ewwwwww.

joey is just bae. I love him so so much. (his funeral fit stays banging.)

I'm just smarter than u bee , let's face it.

update on the banking thing - he said no. he just doesn't like powerful women.

tumblr is so bae , like vanilla extract is so funny to me now

freud would love to dissect that boy fr.

cutting your hair drunk ??? and not botching it ??? you are the chosen one. I bow down to your brilliance.

THE MOST JEGULUS SONG TO EVER JEGULUS. yes yes u must add it. can't believe it wasn't already there in the first place.

it is so perfect. such a vibe honestly. (Wendy's slaps hard. but it wasn't square so I feel betrayed.)

bad times with your best friend so that ten years in the future you can look back and laugh on how stupid and dumb you were.

ahhh no my family has always considered 13 bad luck. but I don't believe it so 13 stays winning <333

can't tell the difference fr (Irish ??? never knew that that's fucking weird (in a good way))

DRARRRRRRYYYYYY the angst is unmatched. unmatched I tell you.

jegulus fics are so so so good I eat them up like soup. and jily is just - perfect. I love them. I love it so so much.

no because those kind of movies are so weird. it annoys me so much. (but watching stuff with someone who's obsessed with the thing you're watching ??? like whatttt. it's so sweet. eg Lu's fucking obsessed with sports and shit and he knows I'm just not - so he always always explains shit to me like when to cheer which team we support and everything.)

I would feel so proud if it was me and I was allowed to use the fancy paints. like so so important and everything I would love it so so much.

I can imagine it now. sock falling in slow motion.

yes thank fuck for that.

get a life of their own frrrr. high time considering their lives are just about to end.

herm and harry are my darlings honestlyyy

yes yes romione is so cute and awesome but I don't personally like fics about them fr.

OH MY GOD A CONSTELLATION TOTE ???? honestly you're so fucking awesome it's fucking coooolllll.

WIRELESS HEADPHONES 5ever fr fr. could never deal with the wires when I'm doing stuff.

LOVVVVERRRRR. ( a 5 ??? that's awesome !!!)

mine's that kind of red or a classic bright red. love them classics and everything I love it <33

it really really really was. (we're all good but we have matching scars now ! hey - tattoos right there ???)

no I loved it so so much I love it so fucking much it's cool as fuck. prize present <33

I'm literally the best friend ever he should bow down to me and my excellence. (no but I just got him all his favourite things and bro got super emotional and everything. )

YES I FEEL SO UNZIPPED WHEN I READ THAT SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT SOOTHES ME. those kind of confession quotes will always be so dear to me.

YES YES U GET IT. favourite poem ever <33

the air is super crisp and everything feels mega real up there. like I am hyper-aware of the fact that I exist.

yes yes a locket like that is so so cute. she will keep it close to her heart trust <333

YES TIGERS. GO TIGERS.

horror movies & romcoms have my whole heart. rom-coms come first , but horror movies are a close second. (and horror-coms are lovely too !!!)

jily and jegulus are amazing. top-tier always.

reviewing your q's -

god bless u and ur immune system. the chosen 1 fr.

fate fate fate. I believe in destiny and fate and I love it because I really truly believe that I could bump into someone and fall in love. like it could so so happen. It will happen. manifesting the fuck out of it.

friendship break ups make me so so sad. like damn you don't want me anymore???? sad as fuck. (glad you both are doing good now !!!!)

WHAT A FUCING MOOD. same though. I think it's something in the air when I'm getting ready for school. like I get ten times more slugger in the morning I'm getting up for school like I really curse the fuck out of everyone and their mothers.i do it so often.

Peter Parker always <33333. I love them so so so much.(tom and toby and ANDREWWWWW)

(yes yes that's what I meant !!!) I so so need to fucking read it I swear I'll do it. I'm going to do it as soon as I have time honest.

homer is iconic you're so right. keep them guessing always and forever for reals.

I fall in love every time I look in the mirror. no but if we're being honest - me neither. I feel like it's coming though. I love love and I want to be in love too. (meeting the best people and carrying the memory of them forever >>>)

NO HONESTLY. man wearing hat ???? funny as fuckkkk.

not being able to go places because you have exams is so so so fucking annoying. like exams can go to hell (she cried for u ??? that's so sad and honest and sweet honestly best friend GOALS.)

talking shit about bitchy people with your best friend >>>> especially because it's always the darnedest things too and the best friends we have would never expect it and it's always so funny to shock them.

I honestly don't really mind jegulily. I think it's fun , and I might read a couple fics here and there but they'll never be my OTP. I love them , but jegulus and jily stay winning alwayssss.

'I hate the way I don't hate u. not even a little bit , not even at all.' my heartttt. and also Cameron is amazing and needs to be appreciated more.

q's -

now I love piercings (want at least 3 in each ear) but tattoos because to me they can hold much more meaning than a piercing. like it would be amazing and they just .... do stuff piercings can't. piercings still slap though.

loyalty to the people I love. like I've said this before , but I'd absolutely go feral if anything untoward happened to the people I love. i would genuinely fuck the aggressor up. like I genuinely feel like I saw a ten foot tall hunky muscle guy slap lu once , and I was there , I'd get so mad I'm pretty sure my sheer anger would scare him the fuck away. but I'd do it even if they were wrong. like if he says the sky is purple in front of people he doesn't like , then the sky is mf purple until we get home then I ask him what the fuck is going on.

the raising a single eyebrow one. I'm always making that facial expression. (I used to hang out with some pretty sus people and the things they used to say ..... shiver.) and of course the love heart ( where is my pink love heart , apple ?????? where is it ????) simply because I am a hopeless romantic.

acts of service !!! I will always do something like that for someone I love. like you need the groceries ??? not a single word more I'm going rn. also also love love giving gifts. like I really think them out .

SPIDERMANNNN. I love all 3 of them so so much I love the fuck out of them they're my favourites always always.

oh my god I couldn't possibly. but I could. (for each ship I have 1 or 2)

drarry - mental , temptation on the warfront.

jegulus - absentmindedly making me want you

dramione - wait & hope , isolation

wolfstar - of memories and milk thievery , lessen my load

nottpott (harry x theo nott) - rendevouz receipts , lethal combination

btw lethal combination is by the same author as the one who wrote the atlas six !!!! I love it so so much !!1 (nottpott is a guilty pleasure ship)

7. my favourite Disney movie is tangled always always <33333 unmatched. Pixar - UP (I fucking love it. it made me cry so so hard, I love it so so much)

8.i do both. like I have clear post-its , and sometimes I jot my notes down there , other times I have annotated the fuck out of them on the pages. in my copy of Gatsby , I have the word 'gay' written next to a lot of the times nick talks about Gatsby (maybe I'm biased but he was so in love with Gatsby.)

9.i'd love to be a black cat. mostly because I hate how they're said to be bad luck. like they're so sweet and cute and I just love them always. they're amazing. (plus being lazy and thinking they're better than everyone ??? so me honestly.)

10. dark academia !!! I so so so wanna live like that like it's the dream I love it so much. everything about it. the outfits , the scene , the vibes , the feel , the feeling that if I fall in love with someone , it'd kill me to be without them. I just LOVE it.

11. cinemas !!!! I love cinemas so much the vibes , the popcorn , the snacks I've snuck in , the way people clap when famous actors come onto screen >>>>

12. friday !!! end of the week , game night , no alarm to wake upto the next day . Friday has it all always. very dear and near to me <333

13.the lover !!!! no one was surprised by this honestly. it's very literally me. I am very much an idealist always looking for love wherever I can find it !!!

q's for uuuu -

which 1d member is your fave ?

top 5 Taylor songs ?

top Shakespeare quote ?

fave Shakespeare play ?

fave modern family character ?

style vs ootw?

cruel summer vs dress ?

fave tay tay lyric ?

controversial opinion you have ?

famous person you hate (not an obvious one like Kanye or John Mayer we all hate them they don't count) ?

sickest burn you've ever given ?

sickest burn you've ever got ?

moment when you wanted to slap liv's face the fuck off ?

moment you've been horrendously jealous ?

(beee beee beee I love u tonnes. sorry I've been so bad with replying. I'm so going back to normal after this I pinky promise. come back soon <3333333 I missed u!!!)

[calebwittebane]

im ngl i have a strong urge to look into when and where theyre doing it this year, and become the stoners. as in just like tagging along this way. except as a veteran. who knows, maybe if i dont appear completely off-putting, theyll let me carefully approach them. cuz i have to keep in mind i dont have the charisma and courage of the woodland stoners. but if the students accept me into their flock, i may share some knowledge with them. some wisdom. of course all of the above hinges on logistics. i dont have a car, and i dont have anyone whod come with me because it would be unwise of me to just do this all on my own, and i have an ill cat at home. so this is all just a fantasy. a fantasy that involves sleeping in a hammock, or in a very dingy cabin, man those things were made of goddamn cardboard. also it always made me feel like one of those sickly insane pianists from the 19th century with my agonies and ailments, cuz besides the fact all the food was making me sick i also was mentally doing real badly at times probably because of sensory overload which i knew i couldnt easily decompress from as i had enough sense not to like wander off while unstable and dissociating. but oh what a thrill. like overall.

like yes im making it sound like in many ways it was a bit of a harrowing experience but... thats kind of the point. first of all im Always Suffering so i just kinda take that into consideration and roll with it. second of all, i like it when things are a little shitty. when they have that dinky unpretentious charm. when the accommodation is cheap and to put it charitably nothing fancy. when theres just so much you can complain about and laugh about, and its fine, because no one expected anything different. when you feel like a bit of a seasoned warrior for enduring it all. when you can joke about it all later. when the simple act of trying to make dinner becomes a fun social ordeal of struggling and laughing because everyone brings in like whatever one or two potential ingredients theyve got and you gotta improvise and brainstorm ideas and at the end youve got a big pot of Mysterious Stew and it turns out to be crazy good. and best enjoyed around a fire that just keeps dying and needs to be poked continuously, with some beer to go with it, or maybe even some cheap wine if youre nasty. if youre kinky. some people love luxury... but luxury unnerves me. maybe some of that is just that i never quite allow myself to relax, but when things are too nice i just feel like an intruder. i feel like im about to stumble around breaking things and making everyone uncomfortable with how raggedy and unpolished i am. good hotels unnerve me in no small part because theres the staff, cleaning and tidying up, and some people dont mind that and just leave generous tips, but to me the whole thing is just kind of inherently mortifying. the implication of me as the recipient of a service. the imbalance. you know what im saying? the best Hotel Experience ive had was when my wife booked a hotel for a night before their departure and it turned out to be SO shitty and in the middle of nowhere and with a view of some overgrown fields and piles of rubble and without even a cafeteria and without Anything and there were no other guests and the whole place had an unsettling vibe and the bathroom was awful and the sink didnt work properly and there was a hole in the door. it was amazing. we laughed so much about it. we bonded so much over how hilariously shitty it all was. there was nothing to eat so we ordered from the only place we could, we got some falafel wraps delivered, and ate it outside while smiling and laughing.

all in all... since im already rambling my head off. i wonder what this all represents for me. i am, indeed, a hermit, exemplified by the fact i currently have no irl friends aside from my flatmate and my sibling and my wife (so id honestly classify the above as my family, than Friends, for multiple reasons) and the fact that social interactions kind of hurt me mentally and physically (unless its my wife whom i never tire of being around). and yet i do crave, with all the inconveniences that come with those, very earnest and down to earth social experiences; in fact, particularly those that involve improvisation and a level of survival/coping with less than ideal circumstances, not Perilous mind you, just kinda shitty in a way thats fun to complain about and work around and bond over. is this that non-sexual kink people were talking about? <- She Is Making A Joke.

god i miss those compulsory summer plein air courses my school did that were like two weeks of staying in extremely dingy summer cabins near a lake or something and painting all day and night and sustaining ourselves on noodles and cigarettes. like by the end of it i was exhausted sore smelly starving covered in mozzie bites sick of everyone and with mild food poisoning, but it was such a blast nonetheless especially since back then i still had irl friends. like it was just such a good time especially when these two random ass stoners just showed up cuz theyd been backpacking in the woods and they just sorta joined us. they slept outside in their hammocks and during the day they just hung out with us and borrowed some paint and cardboard so they could paint too. the restrooms in the main admin building of the campground were Scary Bathrooms From Fallout. there was one person with a car and she drove her ancient bmw like a maniac but this way you could obtain groceries in town which was otherwise quite the journey on foot. there was a military base nearby and that was scary. good times good times. That Was Life Before Covid......

[poptod]

Hello! If you’re taking requests atm can I ask for headcanons for natm Ahkmenrah where the reader wears alt fashion and at first he’s VERY intimated by them (like won’t even look them in the eye) cause they come clomping in with their big platform boots and Ahk thinks they’re sum sort of demon but later on ends up loving it and thinking it’s the coolest thing ever? Thank you for your time💝

notes: IM IN LOVE WITH YOU ANON. i love my big clonking boots and spike collars too! this was... very long tho cause ive never written headcanons before and idk how to keep it short

* youve definitely got a certain style to you

* but that doesnt mean youre only interested in punk concerts and raves

* actually, when you learned your friend nick’s dad worked at the national museum you were psyched

* nicky is horrible at keeping secrets so you’re prepared for everything coming to life your first night going there

* at first you’re greeted by the huns which, in all honesty, was pretty terrifying

* but they took to your style very well

* the cavemen go fucking bonkers for your pocket knife and lighter

* meeting the president is awkward because, as someone interested in history, you’re very aware of all the bad shit he’s done, and generally you’re vocally anarchist

* what’s really interesting though is meeting a king - something you should definitely be against, he’s an all-powerful monarch - and he’s. almost silent

* its really weird cause you see this guy reflecting all the light in the room like a disco ball, with pure gold jewelry all over his body, and he says like two words to you and then leaves

* “I’m... Ahkmenrah.”

* “That’s weird,” Nicky says when he’s gone

* egyptian history is some of your favorite, so you’re obviously disappointed in the whole experience and kinda bummed

* you come back on weekend nights that you’re not working

* for the most part you talk to nicky or “talk” to the huns

* usually that just means playing soccer with them and yelling a lot, which you’re all for

* sometimes you’ll feel eyes on your neck, and when you look up at the balcony, you can see the tail end of a golden cape

* one night you decide to follow him because at this point it’s getting a little annoying. he barely ever talks to you yet spends most of his time watching you

* he returns to his exhibit and you follow down the guarded hall, cornering him in his coffin room

* when you find him he’s too busy staring at the murals on the walls to notice you

* “Nice room,” you say

* he turns around with the widest eyes you’ve ever seen, raking up and down your body

* it’s one of your tamer outfits but it’s still boots with patches stapled to them, an oversized flannel with burn holes everywhere, chains hanging from your studded belt

* that’s where his eyes stop - on your belt

* you ignore that though

* “Let’s see,” you say, turning back to the hieroglyphs, “I used to study these.”

* it takes a moment of you staring and slowly thinking, which he is of course entirely silent for

* “This is a passage from the Book of the Dead. Ani’s papyrus, actually, though I doubt you knew the man.”

* (its not actually the hieroglyphs that give it away, its the illustration above them, but shhhh)

* he’s obviously very taken aback

* “How did you know that? That’s... incredible.”

* You blush. first time in a while and you look down bashfully

* “I studied the Book of the Dead for a little bit. Just a side interest of mine,” you say

* “But... these are holy.. texts,” he trails off, looking between you and the hieroglyphs

* it looks like something clicks behind his eyes

* his lips make an “oh” but no sound comes out

* he’s one of those types that almost always tells the truth, so he admits he thought you were some sort of delinquent demon

* “well, i am, technically,” you say, which makes him laugh

* later on in the evening you decided to trade your wristbands for fun - you’d get his golden braces, he’d get your studded leather with sharpened spikes

* both of you forget about it until you go home, start getting undressed, and realize you’ve got 4,000 year old gold on your arms

* you get terrified that the museum’s gonna arrest you or something for ‘stealing’

* the next time you see ahk you tell him that in a rush

* he, being the little gremlin he is, just laughs

* youre still in a fluster trying to give his bracelets back but he just laughs and goes

* “keep them. they look better on you.”

* “but.... theyre yours??”

* as it turns out he fucking loves the spikes on your own bracelet so half of that was just ahk wanting to keep YOUR wristband

* when he sits or stands near you, he fidgets with the spikes on his wrist and the spikes on your shoulder from your leather jacket

* it does make it a little hard for him to lean against you, which he does like to do with his friends

* but in the end you both decide he can put his head in your lap. you play with his hair and he practically moans and keens from the stimulation

* he may be friendly with others but its only in your company that he feels safe enough to sleep

* and youre happy to act as a pillow, even if your clothes aren’t made for such things

[antiloreolympus]

12 Anti LO Asks

1. this is something thats so unintentional about the colors choices rachel makes in comic but pure white clothing in ancient times literally denoted slaves and the poor, because they couldnt afford dyes or threads to make their clothes colorful. even beyond that, white (as she admits in the idea of it being a "wedding dress") can be seen as a gross visual of women needing to be "pure" and "virginial". i thought this was supposed to be against purity culture? why is she visually reinforcing it?

2.  punderworld suffers from the same issues as LO does, though, it's just less blatant. demeter is still abusive, people still look alike, and the rest of the kings are still put down to make hades seem like the best option.

3. is lo hades even actually attractive though? i dont mean looks, i mean personality. bc he just seems like a power hungry authoritarian who refuses to ever let go of control and hates to be questioned and not get his way. he just doesnt seem like a pleasant person at all, much less one this sweet and bubbly persephone would be happy with once the honeymoon stage fades away. i understand LO is going for persephone becoming like him to to be queen, but shouldnt it be the reverse?

4. honestly, even ana steele and bella swan had defined interests and personality traits, meanwhile LO persephone is just a blank piece of wood nearly four years in. having a few times showing her reading a book is not enough to claim she has anything going for her. shes just there to be developed around hades, not to be an character on her own.

5. all im saying is suitor armor had a whole month past between two episodes while LO hasnt even meet a full month in almost 200.

6. in regards to the humor in LO, rachel just isnt funny lmao. what she finds funny is very juvenile (fart jokes, people yelling, weird facial expressions, cringey millennial "humor", even memes as panels) that it just undermines what's supposed to be a "grand epic" like she's trying to make LO out to be. I think humor is good in serious stories when done right, but she adds them way too often and at bad times that it just makes it immature and takes you out of the story.

7. the problem too with LO refusing to use time skips and showing every minute of every day is that is basically bans the fans being able to speculate and fill in the gaps with little what ifs and the like. theyre allowed to no room to imagine their own scenarios or interpretations because LO is like this is how it is! do not question it! do not stray from it! which is like? how is that fun to read if the creator refuses to let the readers form an opinion outside of exactly what they say?

8. that one anon is selling disney princesses short. cinderella had the deep connection to her departed mother, snow white was exceedingly kind, aurora was rebellious and strong willed, jasmine, belle, mulan, and others had goals and personality to them. if anything comparing LO persephone to them is an insult, because she is nothing but hades' trophy wife and possible brooding mare. The disney princesses don't need their princes to be princesses, but LO persephone needs hades to be anyone.

9. honestly lo hades both build and face-wise doesnt even look different from any other man in the series (bc rachel cant draw anymore than two faces i guess) but her purposely making him have such short, white hair, always in boring suits, and acting the way he does makes him seem WAY older, which makes his gap in power, experience, and age to persephone, who is designed to be so childlike, even worse. making his so sharp and cold looking is a good idea on paper, but it kinda ends up backfiring,

10. even the synopsis is a lie at this point. like it sells LO as some light hearted, glamorous teen drama, but then you read it as its a degraded in art, disjointed mess of rachel trying to juggle persephone marrying a guy she hasnt known a month, kissing hades' capitalist ass, hera being a #GirlBoss, a second god war, a horrible handling of sexual assault, hamfisted cameos, illogical made up ships, american-named OCs, butchered "retellings", ill thought out coups, and shopping montages.

11. ok but we have to be thankful tumblr is basically a dead website because if not LO fans would be on those fandom chains going "little goddesses grab your pomegranates 😤" unironically like superwholock fans talking about sonic screwdrivers n shit.

12. on the subject of lawyers for persephone: wouldnt that be a perfect chance to introduce an actual law goddess? like dike, maybe themis, someone like that, as opposed forcing hades into a very biased role that makes no sense. like i know rachel only put him in that role to be like aw look how powerful he is and how devoted he is to keeping her out of trouble! but i just see it as a set up to persephone once again being dependent on him, this time for her own life. like? how is that romantic?

From OP, Not Anon: ---FP Spoiler---

RS ‘got rid’ of Themis by putting her on maternity leave. Can’t have an actual law god(dess) defend Persephone/Demeter I guess 💀💔

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

Hello please tell me about Echo, I would like to know :)

taco i’m always willing to talk about echo, he’s one of my favorite characters to rant about

ok i know this ask was inspired by the ‘tag the oc with the saddest ending’ post but since its been so long since you sent it, its been marinating in my head for days so i’m just gonna rant in general 

(lots under the cut. like lots. almost 1500 words)

Echo was actually supposed to be the main character bc he joins nyks and spence on their journeys (there was going to be like four pov’s) but then i gave him some background that i didnt share and didnt feel like i could really do it justice with him being the main character. It’s still talked about and i feel like i do a good job covering it, but he’s not the main character bc i think its important to let people share their stories but still have a diverse set of characters (if that makes sense at all). I wont talk about the background in this rant (just because how i reveal it in the story is how i want it to be figured out)

Ok i want to talk about his family first. He lives with lots of other people. His parents, his older sister and brother, his younger sister and brother, his grandma, and his older brother’s two kids and wife, and his older sister’s fiancee. He shares a room with his younger sister and brother, so he’s closer with those two naturally. They’re three years younger than him. Not twins but theyre the same age (they kinda adopted freddie. Frankie is his bio sister). His older brother is six years older than him and his kids are two and four. His older sister is two years older than him. His grandma has dementia and doesnt really like him for no real reason (its just the vibes since he has magic and she can kinda sense it). He had a twin sister (Skrell) but her magic was discovered and she was killed. 

Next im talking about his magic. He has reactive magic, which is pretty impossible to control. In any other kingdom, it would protect him, but since Terilace has a magic ban, it’s nearly gotten him killed more times than he’d like to admit. Its really rare to have reactive magic, to the point where no one can really test for it like they can the other types of magic. It’s only in people who havent had a magician in the family tree for at least five generations, are the second born twin, and are not their parent’s first pregnancy. The first twin usually has a different type of emotion related magic (skrell had empathetic magic, which means that she knew what everyone was feeling. It caused a lot of overloads and she stayed home pretty much all the time). He also has very weak shadow magic, but he doesn’t find out about that until later. 

Now im talking about his job. He’s the oldest Assistant at the library, he’s been there longer than Xander, the Librarian. His old boss was killed by a poisonous animal that got into the library mysteriously (its kinda hinted at how it got in but im not getting into that now). His sections are magic, psychology, magical wildlife (which doesnt fall under the magic section), horticulture, and Terilace history. There are only two other Assistants, Zoey and William who are 14 and 16 respectively. He trained them both but now they’re able to work without his help. When the story starts, he’s training an Assistant to replace him since he and Haven are going to leave the kingdom soon. There are also ten to fifteen (depends on lots of things) Scribes at the Library and their only job is to copy information into books. The Assistants organize and compile all the info they put into the books and are in charge of making sure everything is in the right place. They have to know where everything in their sections is. There are blue hermit spiders that live in the bookshelf. The first Librarian added them to the shelves to protect the books and information. They live for anywhere between twenty and eighty years, depending on what they decide to do. Some “adopt” Assistants and live with them until one of them dies. If the Assistant dies first, then the spider lives on their grave until it dies. It’s the most loyal species in the world. Echo has one that he calls Monster, but its name is Cecil (this isnt important i just wanted to share its name). I could keep talking about the Library for hours, but ive already gotten off topic quite a bit, so im moving on. 

I want to touch on some relationships he has outside of his family. He and haven have known each other for almost fifteen years. Haven and her mom moved inside the Terilace castle walls when she was three (he was five) and they became fast friends. Haven spends a lot of time at his house bc her mom is kinda controlling and haven doesnt like being around her. She rants to him and he listens, she doesnt know much about his life though (which is how he likes it). Spencer and him have a sort of relationship. By which i mean spence has a crush on him and echo pretty much hates him. Spence turns in a lot of magicians bc he was raised being taught that any kind of magic is evil and there is no good in it. He’s also the prince (future king. Again, i can talk about the kingdom and traditions for a long time but this is about echo soo..), so echo cant really tell him to leave him alone. Robert (spence’s older brother) and him are friends. Rob came to the Library one day and needed something from one of echo’s sections, so they got to talking and now they’re fairly close. Not that anyone can know that bc the royals arent really supposed to have friend outside of the castle. He has lots of other relationships too, but not any major ones that come up in the story, so they’re not super fleshed out (yet). 

His main arc is learning to open up and talk about things, which nyks and emberly help with a lot. He learns that he doesnt need to bottle everything up and that being vulnerable isnt the end of the world. He doesnt really care a lot about his health and tries to take care of everyone and everything before he even thinks about himself, but he learns to stop doing that too. He also learns how to control his emotions other than just making himself feel numb so his magic doesnt get him killed. 

He’s aroace, which is a huge part of who he is. He doesnt really understand romance, but wishes he could date (he ends up dating emberly and nyks platonically). His aromanticism is more important to him than his asexualtiy, but his ace-ness is also a huge part of his identity. 

Ok, so i know this ask was prompted by the ‘which character has the saddest ending’ post i rb’d, so ill get into that. Because he didnt use his magic for the first (almost) twenty-one years of his life, he dies young. With most emotional magic, its important to embrace it. Same with shadow magic. His shadow magic is weak already, but since he doesnt find out about it until he finally settles down, it takes a lot of years off his life. After he, nyks, and emberly settle down in a big house where he can just. relax. He spends a lot of time doing the things he loves. He bakes, gardens and spends a lot of time reading topics he enjoys learning about. Up until he moved out of Terilace, he worked from dawn to dusk. When he woke up, he had to help his ma in the bakery, then he’d go to work. When he got back from work, he had to help in the bakery. The only downtime he got was the hour after the bakery closed and before frankie got home from work. He was able to go to his room and just take a break. Then when frankie got back home, he would have to help with dinner and cleaning around the house, he also watched his brother’s kids a lot. So when he finally finds a home with the people he loves, he’s able to work when he wants to on what he wants to. Then, once he’s settled, he starts to get sick. He knew he would, even before he found out about his shadow magic. It just happens when you suppress your magic for twenty years (give or take). He wrote letters to everyone who he thought should know (family, emberly, haven, old work friends, robert) and dies in his late thirties or early forties (i havent decided yet). 

Theres so much more i could talk about (and i probably will eventually) but for now, it’s almost 4am, i have a full day and need to get some sleep. (feel free to ask about anything i brought up in this, i love talking about my wip)