#kinda sad that there isnt any use for skill points anymore

[upsidedownsmore]

uh forgot to mention here but two days ago I UNLOCKED EVERY FIT SKILL IN RING FIT LETS FUCKING GO BAYBEEEEEEE

[wildstar25]

I would love to see the breakdown of Arsay’s timeline through the expansions!!!

WEEEEELLLL if you insist... My basic timeline break down is as follows: Keep in mind a few things are still kinda in flux, and if I ever contradict myself in the future literally don't worry about it

1.0 -> Calamity 6 months End point in the 4th umbral moon lining up with what is now the rising event (calamity memorial). Now that I’ve switched up arsay’s birthday, she turns 22 during the 1.0 campaign.

Calamity -> ARR 5 Years Arsay is stuck in the lifestream with the mother crystal for that 5 year period. Her memories of 1.0 and everyone's memories of her are largely erased. Arsay wakes up on a boat to Limsa Lominsa believing it is still her first voyage to Eorzea.

ARR->HVW ~6 months The base story including job quests take 3 months in total. The next three months are dedicated to the patches: Primal Trial series -> Coils of Bahamut -> 2.1. ~3 weeks Crystal Tower Raids, LoTA -> Syrcus Tower ~1 month 2.2-2.3 -> Crystal Tower Raid WoD ~2 weeks 2.4->2.55 ~3 weeks

HVW->STB ~4 months Main story starts a day or two after 2.55 and takes ~1 month total Patches take ~3 Months: 3.1->3.2->Void Arc ~1 month ->Arsay gets really into pvp and does nothing but frontlines and CC for a week -> 3.3->Alexander Raids->3.4 ~3 weeks Warring Triad->3.5->3.56 ~1 month

STB->SHB ~6 months Main story picks up a week after 3.56 and takes ~3 months time. (The first trip to Kugane takes 3 weeks off screen, after that travel time is reduced to a few days to a week using the East Aldenard Trading company boats (it would make sense that lolorito has better boat tech imo)) Next 3 month period is all the patches: Ivalice raids->Omega raids->4.1-4.2 ~1 month Eureka exploration->4.3->4 lords ~1.5 months 4.4->4.56 ~2 weeks

I know the ARR to Shadowbringers lead up is a mad dash but if it happened any slower, I don't believe Arsay would have be the character she is by that point. It is incredibly vital that she has almost 0 down time for herself. Her days and nights are PACKED full by choice. Job Quests, Hildebrand stuff,PvP, Hunts all get squeezed in throughout.

SHB->EDW ~8 months Main story picks up a few days after 4.56 and takes only 1.5 months to complete. Its a non stop emotional roller coaster for Arsay to be completely fine and normal about the whole time. Patches take 6.5 months, notably there is more downtime between patches: Chill relaxing after 5.0->Eden I->5.1->Neir raid I ->5.2-> role quest/shadowkeeper->Eden II-> 5.3 ->chill relaxing/recovery time for scions->Eden III->Neir raids II & III->Werlyt->Bozjia->5.4-5.55

EDW->DWT ~1 year (time spent in Elpis is not counted) ->Main story up to credit roll ~1 month ->Recovery time for injuries sustained in Ultima Thul ~4 months ->After credits - Scions Disband, everyone goes their separate ways - 1 day 🙃 ->Rest of the roll quests now that Arsay can mostly fight again(she can't cast mudras😞 ) ~1 month (casting>healing>tanking>aiming>bonus all role cap off) -> 1 month of nothing to do, Arsay still can't cast mudras, character development dictates she can no longer repress every bad emotion she feels, she has no proper coping mechanisms and quickly spirals into a mental breakdown over feeling like she's worthless and that no one will need her anymore now that the world isnt ending constantly and that she's worried without the scions being the scions everyone she cares about will slowly forget her and she'll be all alone again. Y'shtola and G'raha manage to get Arsay talking after a bit of self destructive lashing out. Things are sorta resolved?? Y'shtola and G'raha reassure her of a lot, and do their best to get it in her little kittycat head that she's not a burden on them even when she's sad. Not an automatic fix but Arsay does make the commitment to better her mental health and to work on her self image issues and communication skills! It'll be a process for her. ->5 days round trip to her home island in the southern seas to visit her Aunt and catch up ->6.1 starts when Arsay gets back from that ->Endwalker patch content takes up the final 5 months of that year period. Things are mostly interspersed with how they are released except for pandae which happens all in one go for Arsay between 6.3 and 6.4. Arsay has done all the variant dungeons, Tataru's grand endeavours, completed Island Sanctuary, and Myths of the Realm. ->The gap between 6.55 and 7.0 will probably only be about a week? Maybe 2? It depends how much it seems like the early arrivals to Tural have been there compared to Arsay and her crew.

That's my timeline! Thank you for asking and reading 🙇 hopefully that all made sense haha ^^

Have a picture of them for the road <3

[miiilowo]

vent to us about vanny and glitchtrap. how much do you hate them and why, here for the drama

OH GOD where do i even START ( this is said gleefully and i am rubbing my hands together like a cartoon villain )

GENERALLY im not a huge fan of the newer fnaf lore. 1-3 is good purely for nostalgia purposes but generally everything pre pizzeria simulator + UCN? its decent! got some characters you can get attached to while not removing the spooky factor (SECURITY BREACH) you had the dead kids. you had the old creepy bastard getting a taste of his own medicine. a proper conclusion, even if it was the . um. third? proper conclusion in the series

i ALSO love william aftons character. hes horrendous. truly the worst. great antagonist as long as i dont look scraptrap in the...anywhere. he's always been my favorite character, and ive been into fnaf before #3 even came out so you know thats SAYING SOMETHING lmao

takes the cake as my favorite game series of all time. piqued my interest in horror. piqued my interest in art. fnaf is one of my favorite things ever in GENERAL, actually. shaped who i am today! my favorite hyperfixation then and one of my favorites now! if i never got into five nights at freddys, i wouldnt be as skilled of an artist. id have never gotten into online spaces, i wouldnt have the same interests, and id probably be an asshole all things considered. it made me happy for years and years -- i poured so much love into making content for this silly little horror game series and i genuinely wouldnt have it any other way.

anyways then glitchtrap shows up and fucks everything i like about the series

YOU HAD THE DEAD KIDS. IT MADE SENSE. THEY DIED AND POSESSED THE ANIMATRONICS. I KNOW ITS NOT THE 80S ANYMORE IN THE NEW GAMES BUT THE WHOLE DIGITAL SOUL THING OR WHATEVER HE'S GOT GOING ON THROWS A WRENCH INTO EVERYTHING THE SERIES HAS ESTABLISHED UP TO THIS POINT. IT'S NOT THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IT JUST ISNT...THERE HAS BEEN NO MENTION OF ANYTHING LIKE THIS UP UNTIL THIS POINT. it'd have been more satisfying if springtrap just fucking crawled outta the rubble and then shuffled his decrepit ass at you as you played the game or something. The Adventures Of Springtrap. Springtrap visits and burns down a burger king. Springtrap smashes your head against the pavement simulator. ill take anything. anything but this. please. fuck

It genuinely just makes me kinda sad in a weird way. Whenever im catching up on lore I'll be (reluctantly) accepting new theories about whatever the hell is going on then it gets to glitchtrap and vanny and it feels like someone walked up to my soul with a vacuum and turned it on high suction. what the hell did they do to my boy

right. so we HAD possessed animatronics. we probably still do, i dont know anymore. now we have a glitchy rabbit suit that looks like it smells like piss and apparently contains a serial killers soul. awesome. okay. whatever. if i ignore it, itll be fine. he wont be that relevant, right? i wont have to think about him anymore if i try hard enough WRONG NOW WE HAVE ANOTHER RABBIT SUIT THAT LOOKS LIKE IT SMELLS LIKE PISS

vanny. vanny dearest. vanny sweetie honey pumpkin darling. i fucking hate her

first impression of her was that she looks like she was designed for rule34 artists. shes not scary. shes not intimidating. she looks like a strong breeze would knock her over because her head is ten times the size of her body. toy chica is also guilty of the r34 thing but toy chica isnt associated with glitchtrap and therefore i do not hate her out of spite

i dislike security breach as a whole because it feels like a fnaf fanfic or fan comic series youd stumble upon on deviantart. that being said, fnaf fanfics and fancomics can be really enjoyable- they just dont feel like an actual piece of fnaf content. if security breach is the fanfic, vanny is someones oc that was made because they wanted to draw horny self insert art with springtrap and was unceremoniously shoved into what couldve been an entertaining story

despite my hatred for glitchtrap, he at least kinda makes sense and at least falls in line with fnaf in terms of general vibe. i feel bad for vanny. shes an antagonist. ive never been scared of her. and i cannot stress enough that she 100% feels like she doesnt belong in fnaf. shes the first antagonist to be just Some Person (unless you count micheal in fnaf 4. i dont) and she is fucking useless LMAO she shows up for like 3 cutscenes and barely does anything despite being hyped up and shown in trailers for fucking ever

guess burntrap is also guilty of the 'being useless' thing. i am neutral toward him though. hes got cool claws

didnt even touch on the mind control manipulation thing. god. i would but i dont know enough about it to properly tear it apart and i dont want to invest energy into learning about it

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[wildernessuntothemselves]

i saw what you wrote on not being the same writer you were for tle before and i wanted to say phew that was a workout for my brain, like on one hand i get what anon is saying but i also know what you are saying because same has happened to. I write lyrics and I used to be able to produce some great shit when I was most sad and depressed because one: I still lived with my asshole dad back then and two: I spent most of my time at the studio. my life revolved around my misery and therefore

all my energy was dedicated to reflecting the wickedness of my life onto something. I'm better now because I've moved out and i'm going to school and majoring in music and yet I've never felt more foreign to my art in my entire life🙃 my lyrics (despite having years experience with writing) look like you're looking into a teenager's diary and anything I produce just.. doesn't have my sound anymore. I'm getting better (mentally/physically/slowly making progress with my skill) but it's hard

           to appreciate the good in my life and the fact that I'm still fucking alive for goodness sake! because I'm so frustrated that my passion isnt cooperating with me the way i thought it would at this point... a dear friend of mine recently sat me down and told me that as great as my lyrics/music used to be, they were a coping mechanism at the time but down the road? I'd have probably killed myself before I'm finished with an album. my art wasn't sustainable for a living back then because it was 

  it was basically suicide letter in music notes. I know that music is my passion which is why I'm sticking to it even tho it's discouraging. I'm trying to explore it in different lights other than the ones I've known and drove me even crazier. it's frustrating ngl but I'm trying, and I'm hoping that when I'm okay enough, I can create things that I'm satisfied with that vary in concepts, without the need to be suicidal for the pieces to be great. I wish you good things moe       

          you are truly one talented writer and a resilient motherfucker (can i call you that? i am just gonna call you that hope u know i mean it well). I hope i didnt blabber too much i just wanted to share that. let's be struggling artist sisters together (alive too!)🎨

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I frequently find comfort not from reassurance that everything is fine but from someone reaching out and divulging that they are sharing the same experience I am and that they too are trying, and yes it’s hard but they’re trying.

So many parts of your messages struck a nerve and I’ve highlighted some of them. Trying to be creative without tapping into that overwhelming darkness kinda forces you into starting over with your skill because you can’t use the same tool you’ve always been using and that’s why I think I relate so much to what you said about it seeming like looking into a teenager’s diary. I too feel like my fics have lost their maturity and subtlety and now resemble the awkward efforts of a teen starting to venture into writing.

When I speak of TLE with my friend, he always expresses his vehement wishes that I never again return to writing it because he thinks that that fic came from a very dark place and that if I were to return to it, it would mean that I’m back at that place and he doesn’t want to see that happen so I relate to what your friend has said

I used to really oppose the sentiment that art has to come from a dark place and that you can’t be well-adjusted and also produce nuanced art that touches people deeply, but now that I am arguably in the best mental health I’ve ever been and my writing has seen a dramatic decline in quality, I’m starting to think that there might be some truth to it which scares me. I don’t want to have to go back to being on the verge of death in order to feel like my writing expresses my true self.

In any case, it’s very comforting to know that I’m not going through this alone :) let’s try to get through this together :)

[acquisitive-adventurers]

How did Singlar lose his wife? Did he feel he lost her through his own negligence or ineptitude, or does he blame someone else for her death? Has he ever considered looking for a way to bring her back from the dead? Would he ever consider that?

(Thanks for the ask, @calabren-iarian !)

THIS IS LARGELY MY FAVORITE THING TO TRY AND WRITE??? It came out in an rp AGES ago with Singlar’s mun, and he was like (oocly) “what if you were my wife but I thought I’d lost you?” during a really sad part of an rp. It ripped my heart out and it’s been that way forever.

It’s evolved from something akin to screaming into the void to something else less screamy.

Singlar was pretty young as a dwarf – few decades old, probably 60 or so – and he was out exploring with his older brother, Kóri. They were out, being stupid “young” guys, when they came upon a night elf village. They weren’t used to meeting any of the other races beyond dwarves, gnomes, and humans, and the elves were… gorgeous, to say the least. Kóri would joke at Singlar about “staring too long,” but as a young paladin, the starlight that emanated from their eyes was intoxicating.

Though he and his brother left the village after a particularly bad cold snap (it was only like a few days before the weather opened up), Singlar had developed a major crush on the elf that would become his wife. It took maybe ten years before they actually got married, and they stayed that way for almost 80 years (so he’d be roughly 150-160 when she “died”). They’d made a home in the mountain ranges between Mount Hyjal/Felwood/Winterspring, and they were pretty happy.

Emerald Dream portals would open randomly though, and the village they lived in believed they were well defended, so no one left. Singlar left to go visit his brother in Ironforge (for some business) and left Zaha’a alone at their home. When Singlar returned a few weeks later, it was a gory mess: the village was reduced to smoldering ash, fresh corpses of elves and worgen were everywhere, and Singlar couldn’t find his wife anywhere among the survivors. So, he thought she’d perished.

For another 90+ years, he held a hatred for elves and worgen (and anyone that could turn into one tbh). He blamed himself for staying too long in Ironforge, for not taking the first boat and being delayed by a few extra hours, for not bringing his wife along in the first place.

Since there wasn’t anything left of her – possessions, body, even a photo – Singlar was left with nothing of his wife, but her visage haunted him every day for nearly 50 years. He went and drank himself nearly to death, until the kingdoms of men started asking for the other races to help build up their cities. He spent the next few decades working, drinking, sleeping with everyone, and refusing to allow himself to grieve or let go of his anger. He got sick, and sicker, and sickest of all when the orcs invaded Azeroth. He was one of the first to put his skills into the armies for the Alliance, and used it as an excuse to shed blood.

(Even that left him so very hollow inside, and it did not feel good to watch the blood go down the drain after a battle.)

When his commanders realized what he was doing, he was sent to Silithus to keep the supply chains there flowing for the Alliance and keep them as long as possible from the Horde. It was only when he touched down in Stormwind and was given the orders to go did he see Ahilyah for the first (and only) time fully decked out in her commander’s armor – at the time, he didn’t know she was his commander and was pretty awful to her, but she let it slide – as they were both introduced to the other members of their team.

All seven of them left to go to Silithus. Eventually, after battles and literal years spent in the bug-infested cesspool, everyone but Singlar and Ahilyah died or were transferred. They didn’t get any other teammates, and it was just them holding down an entire outpost.

They grew comfortable, enough to drink and sleep in the same room together (more for camaraderie than anything else), and eventually they started sharing their lives. She told him about her explorations and commander school, he told her how it was to grow up in the heart of a mountain; he explained paladin teachings (that he often scoffed at in the same breath of whispering his prayers to the Light), she explained beautiful and terrifying worlds beyond their touch that only a few could (or would) ever see. They were friends.

Between fighting the Horde and the old god worshippers and the bugs, Ahilyah was often given secret missions that they’d go and usually sabotage Horde encampments (”don’t explain anything to me, and I’ll have no questions to ask,” Singlar would tell her), but one time there was a month of nothing. Singlar asked if the war was over, if they’d be released from this Hell and they’d finally go their separate ways; she explained she’d already been given her orders, and had been given plenty of mail about not completing it yet.

When he asked why they hadn’t gone out to do “another get-this, kill-that” mission, she explained it wasn’t that type of mission anymore. It was supposed to have them go outside of the combat zone and kill any and every Horde village nearby. She had twenty-four hours to respond, or she’d be court marshaled, judged by the king and his peers, and executed. (She still didn’t know which part of the kingdom this order came from, but it had an official seal. She had asked the high command for a repeat of the orders, but she never got one – so, she stayed put, mostly because of her morals and also because she didn’t believe it was a real King Varian-stated order.)

They had a screaming match due to misunderstandings until she screamed something in anger – basically “you’re such a stupid dwarf, I can’t believe I put up with you for so many centuries” – and he was like “????what????”

And then they had a very awkward reveal that she was his wife.

He was angry, hurt, confused, and felt like he wanted to throw up. He ended up camping out in the next outpost over, thinking everything over.

Ahilyah never did the mission. At this point the Alliance basically forgot about Silithus as the Legion expac started, King Wrynn dying, and the other Alliance leaders straining under Anduin’s leadership. He came back after fighting on the Broken Shore for a while (she was in Suramar for a time), but they went back to Silithus when the Broken Isles were secure.

Days before the Sargeras skewering of the world, they started to talk about things. Though Anduin’s reign was much different than his father’s, their relationship would never be able to heal. Silithus was going to be released so the people there could refocus elsewhere in the world, but so far it was just a waiting process.

They were on their way out of the zone (near the northern mountain range) when the sword came down. The group they were traveling with were able to get into a nearby cave, but it turned out to be a straight view of the valley; they’d be burned alive if the shockwave didn’t kill them.

And being stupid, Singlar kind of just stood in front of Ahilyah as they curled up in the corner of the cavern while Silithus erupted in flames. In the last few seconds before the flames hit them, he was like, “I wasted years over you.” And she just had to tell him to choose: the anger, or a clear future.

When the shockwave hit, everything exposed to the flames was horribly burned.  Chunks of Azerite were thrown into bodies of people, killing some instantly due to the intense high while others were in severe agony. The dwarves and gnomes that sat in the cavern came out completely different, half infused with this rock that deformed their bodies but also gave them immense strengths they hadn’t had before.

Ahilyah ends up with horrible burns/scars across the right side of her body (and flecks on her left). The warrior’s right eye glows like the Azurite does, and parts of her scars sometimes glow if she gets too enraged. She goes into blind rages whenever she loses control of herself, going into a frenzy due to the Azerite in her system.

For Singlar, he’s got these giant rocks (kinda like the rock giants in Deepholm?) sticking out of his back, pulsing every time his heart beats. His eyes turn from an ice blue to brilliant gold, and the veins along his body pulse the same color. He’s got burns along the skin that isn’t infused with Azerite, and the back of his head/neck have diamonds/Azerite crystal hybrids growing out of it.

(The other dwarves and gnomes come out looking similar to Singlar, only with their own molecular type – some have sandstone/Azerite, sapphire/Azerite, etc. Each one’s experiences with the Azerite infusion range wildly to “this sucks” to “what could go wrong?”)

((I want to make an entire post about what gnomes, dwarves, goblins, and (maybe) humans taking baths in this stuff would do to them (being descendants of the Titan constructs and all), since the initial “explosion” can’t really be recreated. So it’ll just add to that layer of “well this might actually suck for us” by being so dependent on Azerite.))

[turntechhex]

all of them B)

Significant Other Asks.

okay its under the cut you shit

1. Tell the story about how you met.

the first time avi and i actually spoke was in a stream i was holding and i was just about to close it off because nobody popped in but then he did and then that lead to punk rock points 

2. Was it a gradual increase of trust and love, or was there a specific moment where you knew “I want to be with this person for a long time”?

it was gradual for me but it hit me that i wanted to love him

3. Describe their eyes. Describe their hands. Describe their laugh.

his eyes are really sensitive to the light so he wears his shades a lot but god when he takes them off i get to see his eyes

theyre red and kind of like mine but not in the freaky albino way like mine

his are a beautiful deep red and when i look close enough i can see the little flecks of whatever mixed in

his hands arent scarred and scabbed like mine theyre soft but with a slight toughness to them and when we intertwine our fingers i can really feel that and i love kissing his fingertips just to show him that

and his laugh

god his laugh

i never want to hear anything else

the way it bubbles up and his head falls and his smile is so wide its beautiful 

4. What’s your zodiac sign and mbti type? What about your partner’s? Do things like that reflect your actual compatibility or is it just bunch of bunk?

we are both the same sign and i dunno about that mbti stuff and i dont think any of it works for compatibility its kinda dumb

5. Are you long distance? Have you met in person before? When do you get to see them again?

we live together

6. Tell me a story about a happy experience you two shared. Something that makes your heart warm whenever you think about it.

i had lit a bunch of fancy rose candles and turned out the lights and we just showered each other with so many kisses and then fell asleep together smiling stupidly it was nice 

7. Tell me a funny story. Did they do something silly? Did you do something silly? Talk about your inside jokes.

he always does something silly

he has this silly smile when he falls asleep and apparently when i sleep i look “angry or apathetic as fuck”

sometimes he walks in when im shaving my legs early in the morning with my hair in a bunch of mini pony tails so i can see and he knows hes seen a demon

8. Are your families supportive? Does it matter if they’re not?

avi doesnt have much of a family other than his sister and i havent met her

and dirk and hal are all ive got and dirk is pretty supportive and i think hal is too 

if they werent it would hurt but i couldnt stop loving him yknow

9. Would you ever have a pet together? Do you already have one?

he has four cats and i have an owl

10. Do you have children together? If not, are you both interested in raising children some day?

we do not but maybe someday i havent really thought about it all too much

11. If they’re having a bad day, what do you do to help?

listen the best i can and do whatever i can

give him space if he needs it

hold him if he needs it

12. If you’re having a bad day, what do they do to help?

he listens 

fuck he listens

he lets me cry and yell or whatever i need to do and he helps me

he lets me talk to him

he is everything to me when im having a hard time 

he knows when to hold me and rub my back and hush me

he knows when to give me space and let me yell

he knows me so well

13. What’s something that your partner does that would be annoying if anyone else did it, but it’s cute when they do it?

he moves a lot in his sleep

he has grabbed my ass on more than one occasion

14. Have you ever went on a vacation or adventure together? Tell me about it. If not, do you have plans to do something fun in the future?

we drive out to the coast sometimes its fun just driving away so yes

15. What’s something that you learned about yourself because of being with your partner?

i learned that im allowed to be confident with my body and im beautiful and nothing anybody can say will crush that

i really started to stop wearing makeup to cover my spots because of him

16. What’s a piece of advice that your partner gave you that has resonated with you? 

“please dont ever talk about corpses in public again”

17. Which one of you kills the bugs (or captures the bugs and places them safely outside)?

me

18. Describe the perfect day with your partner. It can be something that’s already happened, or something that you plan to do.

like i mentioned before just driving out to the coast

both of us laughing the whole way there

his smile as he watches the road that reflects in his eyes

watching the sun set when we finally get there and we just leave the car by the road and nobodys on the beach anymore and i run out to the water with him and it was cold as fuck so we just sat in the sand and held each other and looked up at the moon and he was so beautiful like he is everyday

and then we reluctantly got into the car and drove home mostly in silence expect the whispers of i love you 

and we got back home and fell asleep with smiles on our faces it was perfect 

19. Do you prepare meals together? Does one person enjoy cooking more than the other?

i usually cook when we arent just having eggs

avi isnt the best cook >BP

20. What are the best restaurants to go to? Do you see movies at the theater? Do you do things like golf or bowling, just to bond more?

theres a really not too fancy nice one downtown that we like

we watch movies at home and dont do much of that stuff

21. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something silly. 

the ghost in the kitchen that insulted his butter spreading skills was being annoying 

22. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something serious. How did you compromise? What did you learn?

it was just about family shit it was dumb

we just ended talking

i learned that we both need to talk more and we do now

23. Is there a famous couple, fictional or otherwise, that reminds you (or other people) of you and your partner? 

not really

24. Do you have a shipname?

not that i know of

25. Do you two have a “song”? What is it and how did it become your song?

do we have a song 

26. Has your partner ever inspired something creative like your art, writing, etc?

ive painted him a few times and he helps me with colours and stuff when im stuck

27. Do you have extremely similar personalities and interests? Or extremely opposite? Or is it a balance that just makes sense? How do you try to better understand each other? Do you ever have to experience things you’re not interested in, or vice versa? 

we are pretty similar but other than that its just a good balance

we talk to each other

sometimes i suppose 

28. Has your partner ever changed one of your opinions on morals, politics, society, etc?

i dunno

29. Tell me about a time that you were really proud of them. 

his dance performance in january he worked so hard for that and i brought him roses afterwards and he did so good

30. Does physical affection and/or sexuality have a role in your relationship? Are both of your needs being respected and fulfilled? 

yes we both love physical shit and we make sure that its fulfilled and respected too

31. How often do you talk? On the phone, Skype, in person? Are you two the type that stays up too late because the conversation is too good to end?

we talk and text everyday

32. Talk about your sense of humor, and your partner’s. Do you laugh a lot together? Which one of you is funnier?

we laugh a lot of course

i dont know whos funnier

33. Is there anyone who doesn’t like the idea of your relationship? What’s the reason? How do you and your partner overcome disapproval from others?

not that i can think of

34. Have there been any hardships that have ultimately brought you closer than before?

yeah

there have

35. What’s their contact name in your phone?

my love 💕💕

36. Tell me about what your partner is good at. Are they an artist, are they good at math, do they play a sport, etc?

he is an amazing dancer

37. Get really sappy and gross for a moment. Be so gushy that your friends would groan in mock annoyance if you told them. What’s adorable about your partner? What makes your heart melt? What’s something cute that they did that you’ll always remember no matter what?

david rae strider

he is everything to me

he is my present and my future

he is the rest of my life

falling asleep next to him and waking up next to him is such a privilege and i feel like the luckiest goddamn man in the world to be able to love him

he makes me feel like the happiest man on earth to be able to love him

hes so understanding and patient and he listens to me

his movements are soft and not quick

he comforts me 

he cries and i feel like im bleeding from tha inside out and i want to make sure he never has any reason to sad cry

he cries with a smile and i know that i am so in love with him

he kisses my nose and holds me

he kisses every single one of my spots and tells me im beautiful

he traces my scars on my back my arms my face my legs everywhere and kisses my neck still

he holds my hand in public and does fake proposals for free dessert

he knows all the words to every single grease song and so do i

his voice is so nice to hear and his smile is all ive ever wanted to see

his hair is soft and i like to kiss his stubble cheeks when he doesnt shave for a while

hes cute

hes beautiful

he realizes his mistakes

he bought me roses once and put a note inside that he wanted to have roses like that at our wedding someday

he kisses me without regret

he says that he loves me and i believe him

when he got down on his knees and asked me to marry him with tears in his beautiful eyes and held out a shaky beautiful hand with an earring in it

i knew that i loved this man with my entire being

and i said yes

god i said yes

38. Let’s talk about life goals and hopes. Do you two have a similar idea for the future (regarding careers, getting a home, family, finding meaning)? Do you two make a good team? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with them?

we are moving into his sisters old place once hes done with school and we are getting married in the summer

we just know we want the rest of our lives to be together

39. Reflecting on all of your experiences, what advice would you give to a young couple? 

talk to each other and dont try and hide important things and your feelings 

dont be stupid but also do stupid things

40. Is your partner on tumblr? Tag them here and write them a small message, it can be anything.

@bromosapiens

ur gross

[space-cops]

Every odd question fir Sangriel!!!

boyhowdy text wall ahoy. i didnt bother editing this or reading over it so oops theres gonna be mistakes. answers below the cut 0:

1) Sangriel Amato Heartspell. His name doesn't mean much of anything, besides Amato meaning beloved in Italian. San's surname was originally Keldaris (of Loretta Keldaris, wife of Gia Realdor, who took on her surname) until he changed it after his family's. problematic escapades. 

3) He had a pretty fucking nice childhood. He grew up well off, took all sorts of classes and extracuriculars, all that shit. San's actually a skilled ballerino and is quite fond of dance as a whole. One of his fondest memories is his mother helping him with stage makeup for the first time. San's worst memory is the loss of his grandparents during the attack on Silvermoon. 

5) Sangriel has no siblings but many, many, MANY, cousins. So fucking many. He grew up with all of them, so to him they may as well be brothers and sisters. All of them got along very well and though he doesn't talk to many of them anymore, they're all still on good terms (as far as he knows).

7) He and Mesdrea are childhood friends!! After the attack on Silvermoon, her family moved south towards Southshore, and his family remained in Eversong.  He had no idea whether or not she or her family had survived until he leaves home and decides to travel to learn more about the arcane. Mesdrea was part of the Syndicate at the time and he joined her there. When the organization started going off the deep end, the two bailed out and returned to Silvermoon together. 

9) He is not fond of animals, so of course they read that and immediately pile onto him. Sangriel isnt particularly good at caring for pets which is the real reason why he isnt fond of them. He'd honestly love to have a fish if he didnt think he'd accidentally starve it to death. 

11) No diet requirements! This terrible boy is a walking garbage disposal.

13) He hates cabbage and cauliflower in all forms. terrible. bad foods.

15) San got his father's skills for cooking, which is to say he's..... not the best. He isn't terrible though! He's got a handful of dishes he can cook very well! Just dont expect him to cook dinner all the time and have it be completely edible.

17) Oh fuck yes. Selfies, pictures of dumb things he finds, loooots of pictures of bodies of water esp waterfalls. Half the time he doesnt share them he just likes hoarding the photos to look at alone later. San's not shy or embarrassed by them he just doesn't wanna share.

19) San hates existential "We are stardust and eternal" sorts of things. He feels that most of the time they are disingenuous strings of words pulled out of the asses of people who think they're holier than thou. also theyre boring. 

21) He doesn't necessarily have a temper that is constant but he's very easily riled up. When he's angery he's more likely to lash out with words and snide remarks than anything physical, especially if he knows something particularly damning about the person in question. It takes a lot to get him to that point though. He'll bitch and whine and yell loooong before that.

23) San likes firm mattresses, and would sleep on the floor if mesdrea didnt insist on him having something between him and the hardwood. He doesn't snore, but is drawn to heat sources aka anyone with the misfortune of sharing a bed with him, and clings to them desperately. He sleeps with Only One Pillow, and mesdrea thinks there's something wrong with him for it.

25) He doesn't think he's terribly funny, though Mesdrea loves his sarcastic sense of humor (san thinks she's biased bc they're friends). Sangriel loves witty humor, and though he won't admit it, will absolutely laugh at a properly timed and/or worded crude joke. 

27) San frequently has moods where he feels as if he's accomplished nothing with his life (you're still so young, his mother always says!) and it throws him into a funk for a couple days at a time. He'll cry somewhere towards the end of it after everything's sort of come to a head, and he does very little to hide it. Normally he'll end up snapping at the smallest things, like not being able to open a package or dropping something on the floor. At that point he kind of just spends the day sobbing on and off until it's out of his system. He's a little dramatic but its still genuine sadness :(

29) If any teasing is done it's minimal. Normally San won't do either, but he leans towards being more protective if the person in question is someone he's fond of. Teasing would consist of a tasteful joke at most when he first finds out, and nothing more. It's mostly to try and get the person to smile, though he knows it won't always work. 

31) San absolutely drinks, and is actually terrible at holding his liquor. He gets drunk fast then crashes and burns not long after. He's actually a fairly fun drunk, and loses the insecurities he has that makes him quick to snap and anger when sober. San's a miserable person hungover and tends to spend that time hiding under blankets and pillows alone. He won't admit it but he mother hens those around him that are drunk or hungover while he's sober, though he's not above intentionally making loud noise when Mesdrea is hungover bc she does the same to him. 

33) It depends on what he's wearing. Lounging around or going out it might be boxerbriefs. Some stupid tight pants?? probably some small bikini/thong thing?? of course he wears lacy shit on special occassions though. Of Course. Who do you think We Are.

35) Guilty pleasure is thrifting, esp for clothing he can alter. A totally not-guilty pleasure is sitting on the balcony of drea's flat with a bottle of wine and tossing tiny bits of food out to the birds. he keeps score of how many pieces of food end up in someone's hair/hat too. he has to. 

37) San is actually an avid reader, mostly of non-fiction and esp arcane theory. If he reads anything fictional it's science fiction. Asshole looks dumb as fuck but he's well read. 

39) He loveslovesloves sending letters and messages to people. Mesdrea was the only person he spoke to for a long time at one point and it was only through letters. It's special to him idk

41) San's solidly Gay. Really Really Gay. He just finds?? Lots of things attractive and in no specific way/shape/form. San would say he doesn't have a type and he's right. He's pretty bad with relationships though. The intimacy that's involved kinda...bugs him.. and it mostly has to do with his own insecurities and self-worth. Maybe if he found someone that helps with that he'd? be in a relationship? But for now he's 100% fine with flings. They make him happy.

43) He's not very religious. The light's cool and all. Naaru look neat. The moon is rad so Elune is too, he supposes. An'she is chill. It's just stuff he doesnt want to concern himself with. 

45) People that don't know him see him as an overdramatic, flashy, pompous asshole and they're not wrong! He absolutely is, but that's all they see. People who have been robbed by him see a strange thief that somehow used magic to steal in broad daylight. Mesdrea sees him as someone who is actually a very loving person that is particularly good at making masks to hide who he actually is and how he actually feels. San tries very hard to see himself as someone who is good and worthy of, well, good in return. But most of the time he only sees what's wrong with himself and the things he's done and then ignores all the good, so over time he created the grand facade of this amazing illusionist thief that regrets nothing and cares for nobody and looks Fabulous™ doing it. 

47) San has a love/hate relationship with formal settings. He loves the pomp and circumstance of it all, the dressing up, all the fake bullshit and the backstabbing. He hates that his family isn't able to enjoy the things they used to, though, and that's because their father had them basically ostracised out of their social circles and then gambled all their wealth away :\\\ So he loves them, but hates that he can't share that fun with his family, so he doesn't attend anything formal.

49) The copper ring his mother gave him is most prized possession. She gave it to him on his 20th birthday. The runes on it are a small blessing, Light's Strenth. He'd been planning on running off without a word, but his mom is pretty in tune with his antics and she stopped him as he was leaving to give him the ring. His mother's fairly religious so the ring means a lot to her, and while Sangriel is not, the ring is still incredibly important. When he knows he can't safely wear it on his hand, he keeps it on a copper chain.

[animmania]

ok so i wanted to talk about something ive been thinking about alot. sorta touchy subject but its been on my mind and ive come to a persnoal understanding of what i think of it and i wanted to just say it. take what you will from it

alright so OFENSIVE JOKES.. great fucking topic. alright so ive been thinking about ofensive and racist jokes mainly becuase what has been going on with pewdiepie. so i persnoaly think doing ofenisve jokes is kinda like doing russian roulette with half the barrel loaded. theres a chance the bullet dosnt go and your fine and everyone is happy but theres also the other chance it goes off and you have fucked your self over and people are sad for you and mad at you for even doing it.

maybe over the type example but its kinda true when you think about it. just one joke that goes ethier to far or just in poor taste can really break you. look at pewdiepie for example. for those that dont know he recntly made a joke that was ofensive and it made him lose alot of deals. his connections to disney were cut he lost his tv show. that one joke fucked him over . now he has made those kinda jokes before but this one really got him into deep shit becuase i think it was just the easiet to take out of context. now is pewds a bad person? no no he isnt. persnoaly i think hes a nice guy. dos alot for charity trys to interact with his fanbase with creative ways. i just wanted to show this as an example of why these kinda jokes can really fuck you over. now this isnt to say pewds inst the only one to not make these kinda jokes.pyrocincal or filhty for example have made ofensive jokes in the past and still do but they dont get anywhere near as much back lash as pewds got but why? i have two thoughts. first is pyro and filthy frank have been makin jokes like these since day one. since there first video you could kinda understand exactly what thier humor was  like and what thier content was going to be so and thier viewer base are made up from the very start of people that are ok with this kinda humor. pewds how ever has not. when he started he didnt make jokes like these and was pretty tame. the reason pewds has changed his style of humor alot is becuase i think he wanted to try something new. not just be a guy who screams at a camrea but actually try to make people laugh with jokes. and some of those jokes dont go so well becuase his viewr base inst made up of those people that are ok with it. alot of people dont like ofensive jokes and when they found pewdiepie they watched his vids becuase they thought he would never make those kinda jokes. and when he did its shocking to those viewrs. i understand that kinda thinking.just to give an example. the youtuber jontron. lets not talk about what hes been saying or whats been going on about him and just look at his content for a moment. now i really like jons old videos and i watched them alot. im sure there was the 1 or 2 jokes that were kinda pushing it but overall he content was something i think most people could watch and laugh it. now some of his newer videos im just not even sure about anymore. some of his more recnt jokes have been kinda dark and kinda uncomftbale. like when he showed himself hanging in the lion king video. that was kinda *aaaa why* now it wasnt as bad as i made it out to be. and honestly its not so bad watching it. however his current latest video dose have a joke in it that actually fuckin made me jump and i havent watched the rest since. his latest video is about a chirstmas movie. and in it he cuts to himself CUTTING himself. and its just omg. it was so unexpected and just comes out of no where that it honestly scared the shit out of me. im not good with blood but i never thought id really have to worry about that with him. that one joke was enough that i might not watch any more of his videos for a while. with filthy frank however im fine with it becuase i knew what i was sgining up for. i know what his humor is like what his videos are like and they havent changed all that much. if anything they have gotten funnier becuase he is at least himbracing what he is and what his humor is. and dosnt just shift gears in what kinda jokes he makes.

i know this post is all over the place but im just trying to get my point accross.

now for the second reason is what filthy frank dos or idubbz or pyrocincal dos. it works becuase they are taken to such an over the top exterme that it kinda loses its ofensives and becuase more of a pardoy then anything. and thats how it should be in my opioion . like the hair cake video filthy frank did. they make some cancer jokes in it but they take it to such like a wired extreame. shaving idubs head putting him in a wheel chair then him eating a cake made out of hair. im poorly explaning it but so much other shit is going on your not really focusing on the joke being offenisve your caught up in all the other shit thats gonig on. thats how i think ofensive jokes should be. take the ofensive jokes and kinda just push them to a point where it almost stops being an ofensive jokes and becomes more of a just a joke. like south park i think is the best at this. just taking shit and pushing shit so far that your laughing instead of being ofended. you cant just say shit like *i hate black people* thats just boring and dosnt even count as a joke its just you saying something ofensive just for the sake of trying to ofend people.

now those are my two points but i do want to say another thing. and its bascally what i think of these kinda jokes as a whole.

to me i think ofensive jokes are kinda like fart jokes. anyone can make them and they are just so easy. like. what pewds said in his video anyone could have said or come up with. it took no affort to just say that. and im not saying if you make those jokes your not funny? like again filthy frank and south park are ofensive and are still amazingly funny. but you have to be really skilled and smart with how you do it. not everyone can do these kinda jokes and have it work but even still. i find making ofensive jokes are easy becuase you already have the set up. you can just say something mean to a group of people and it will get some people to laugh. be it becuase its actually funny or becuase people that dont like those groups will find it funny and laugh at them though that joke.

what i think takes so much more effort and talent is making jokes that anyone can enjoy. not just a sorten group of people. some poeople might call me a pussy but i honestly find safe for work jokes way funnier i have way more respect for people that make jokes  like that becuase they have noting to start with. you cant just be like *hey lets just say this and that or make a joke about these kinda people* they have to start from scratch and just make jokes that are just pure funny. one of my fave comdiens ever is brain regan. the guy makes jokes that i think anyone could really enjoy and i swear to god he is the funnest guy ever. his jokes are amazing and i luagh my ass off at his stuff when ever i watch him hes so fukin funny and is just so qutoable. i highly recomend him if you havent listend or watched any of his stuff and shit like cartoon shows like adventure time or steven universe. those jokes in those shows are really funny and so much more intersting and props took way more time to wirte then alot of bigger adult shows simply becuase they cant just relay on a sorten joke. they have to try so alot more to be funny becuase they cant just make any kinda joke they want. they have to think about what jokes they can use and make those jokes so that not only kids can find them funny but so that anyone can find them funny.

and thats pretty much all my recent thoughts on this subject. sorry you had to see me ramble and sorry if it didnt make all that much sense? i just hope i got my point of view across with out seeming to mean.

[lilidhshoneynutfeelios]

this weeks freeform personal post lol

so im kinda getting estranged by my mother tbh like i was quite explicitly told that im making a “lifestyle choice i dont agree with” and that she “cant recognise me” (like, my face is a different shape but what she means is that im not like, rolling over and taking her abuse anymore) and i cant be like taking hormones and using a different name and expecting to be like, part of the family yknow. and like, her partner will just follow suit and ive already estranged my older sister lmao and like, highkey im not confident i’ll get into 3rd year and like, yknow. on a triangle of ‘disowned’ ‘trans’ and ‘drop out’ im pretty sure i can only handle two and like, v v highkey i want to just like, kill myself and avoid the whole thing and like, i’m v aware that, other than this one medically induced manic episode in march/april, ive had passive suicidal ideation for like, almost my entire life and ive never done anything about it. idk im v greatful for the valid people in my life rn, im v happy that ive got like, decent people i know irl and online that just kinda, make it seem like a temporary problem? and recently ive had a lot of experiences where ive been able to like, be good for someones life, esp w like, i run the trans forum at uni right, and we’ve had a couple moments where like, people’ve got to see like, other trans people in groups, and just be like ‘huh, we’re not freaks and perverts huh’ and its been good for them and i kinda just wanna keep living for those moments and all these rly cool moments i get to have w my friends and like, ive got a lot of good books im excited about rn, and ive got some money in the bank i dont want them to get, idk. ik a lot of people in my life get really tetchy when i talk about like, suicide after like, i actually tried, and thats fair but like, for the last idk more than 10 years its just been passive and ideative and thats sad but its also like, mostly benign and i dont want people to worry about me. i kinda think im too late to get a summer internship now i had two interviews and i failed one and i dont want to work in a care home all summer and i kinda want to piss off to glasgow and stay w finn and thats not an easy option but i think it’d be good for me like idk what work i could do in glasgow but i could do some shitty job right,i dont have to do internships now i guess, idk im really tetchy about experience and esp trying to get experience where a change of name isnt an issue. yknow, like job hunting is demeaning enough without revealing a priori youre tranny, idk like, i have a zero hours job in aberdeen but i wanna move out like, asap, like i cannot be here, its just v scary to be in an environment where youre like, actively hated. idk like she didnt harbour any particular hatred to trans people before this like she knew a trans person from my school and used his name and pronouns but idk, maybe i shouldve seen it coming after how tedious she was about me being a faggot like, idk she got over that after a couple months but she just, doesnt want to budge on this, like she sees me using my name and taking hormones and having trans friends as like, an actual insult to her raising me. shes just like I Picked Your Name, I Raised You A Boy, Therein You Will Be And Anything Else Is An Insult To Me As A MoThEr yknow like, god, its not a big deal yknow, you get 2 daughters or you get 3 idc what you do with that fact. and sure, i consider it entirely her problem that she hates trannies but like, being trans AND disowned AND a dropout is just like, too much for me i think like, theres no shame in that life to me but like, theres also no dignity. like theres no dignity anywhere but idk if i can do it yknow. also like, and i hate to like bring up sex work when talking about trans hardship bc it feels like a boogyman trans girls bring up to scare eachother but, idk if i can go back to that? i hate waiting outside and i need poppers for like, anal w people i dont trust (and sometimes w people i do) and like, theyre a v safe drug but too much can put pressure on the eye and im blind enough as it is. i had enough poppers one time that i went colourblind for a moment. that was fun. i was kinda drunk too. in the summer i kinda wanna deal with presentation like learning-to-pass as a skill but like, idk im not butch right but im also like a real person who goes outside lmao. like i cycle in the rain and garden and eat with my hands and im not going to be domesticated at any point tbqh. like im not sure i’ll ever pass in like, the next so many years without like, FFS and laser or smthn, but like, idk ik two things right (1) that im a bit of a feral tomboy and im comfortable in like, trews and shirts, getting dirty and building things so long as im not like, percieved as a man and (2) that i was traumatised for like, almost the entirety of my life for doing anything feminine right. like i got beat up in the engineering club at school a lot bc i wasnt like, masc enough to be in that space lol, or even if i didnt get beat up like, there was like, idk what you’d call it like preformative beating up? like unwarrented roughhousing? like pretending to kick someone but Just For The Banter Obviously, We Weren’t Trying To Intimidate The Faggot At All Sir. yknow. and like, obvi like the usual words and jokes we usually use to talk about fem men or men who arent masc enough or whatever. and like, trying to separate (1) from (2) yknow. like thats a task and a half. and like, esp recently where im like, not feeling like a pervert and an intruder 100% of the time w like, lesbian spaces. like obvi ik im not welcome by most there right, but like, idk ik a few lesbians who are like, idk at least on surface dont seem to consider me an outsider and i kinda, get to talk about the fact i like women without like, being seen as a man and a pervert and a rapist for it yknow. and thats been like, a bit of a moment for me. bc like, idk i like women and i kinda havent been thinking about that for a long time bc i dont want to be seen as a man and like, ik ive always liked women, i just like, didnt think that i could like, engage with other women who might like me, without like, having to Perform Man and all that implies and, idk yknow, its not like im having a sexual awakening or ive discovered a two way strap on lovehoney im just like, idk, not not-welcome sometimes for the first time in forever and that kinda means rethinking a few things about where i position myself etc. and thats largely fun now that im like, idk, i have more language-tools to do it than the last few times ive had to consider who-i-love-and-how yknow. and like, idk ive mostly been playing the same fiddle as i always have with like, having this gayboi dress sense and slang and idk, maybe it’d be fun to get a bit of a more lesbian of a haircut or smthn, but like, id have to do it in one of the gay barbers in glasgow bc i dont trust any barbers in aberdeen to not cut my hair Like A Man yknow also i havent been to my usual hairdressers in months bc im growing out the sides and idk what theyd say like i need my split ends done but i dont want them to go in and speak about my hair and my bikes and my ex lmao i used to go get haircuts w my ex and also i have v bad hair and ive recently decided im ok with it being curly so im just like, idk learning what to do with that tbh idk yeah, once whoevers in the kitchen leaves im gonna make a cheese toasty bc thats what ive been craving all day