#kinda regretting my career path a little bit

[johnbleepingzoidberg]

i need to study but i just wanna draaaaaw

[cocosstories]

Henry Cavill One Shot

Hey! I had a request for henry cavill if that’s possible for you. I thought about something where reader is famous too and they are doing the game spill your guts together. They don’t really know each other but they kinda have a crush on each other. Can the reader be also younger than him like in her 20’s or something?

You were in the guest dressing room, getting ready for your appearance on James Corden.

Despite your better judgement, you had agreed to play his infamous game of 'Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts', regretting the decision almost immediately when you hear that Henry Cavill will be playing with you.

For the last couple of years, you and Henry had crossed paths a few times, never really getting the chance to actually spend any sort of time together with your busy schedules.

If you had to be honest though, you always had somewhat of a crush on him and were a little bummed that you have never actually got the chance to meet him.

As the show began, more nerves crept up and before you knew it, you were being warned that it was almost time to join Henry and James on stage for the game.

"Welcome back everyone. Now Henry we are going to play a game but I think we need to bring a special guest out to make it a little more fun so ladies and gentlemen please welcome Y/F/N Y/L/N!"

James introduces you and you walk out, joining the two men at the table that has an interesting odor coming from it. 

You give James a quick hug before turning to Henry who is smiling brightly at you. 

He goes in for a hug as well and you take in his cologne for a second before you remember you are on national TV and back away a bit. 

"So Henry you will ask me questions, Y/N will ask Henry and I will ask Y/N. Lets see what foods we will have to eat if we choose not to answer."

James explains the rules as you stare down at the extremely unsatisfying looking 'food' in front of you. 

"We have bird saliva, cow tongue, bull penis, grasshoppers, salmon smoothie, 1000 year old egg, calf's brain and cod sperm."

You, Henry and the audience let out a collective, disgusted groan with each new food he says.

"Alright, Y/N, I am going to ask you the first question. So I am going to give you the bull penis."

James says, turning the table so the dish was in front of you. 

"I mean you could have given me worse I guess."

You say looking down at the bowl in front of you.

"Y/N, out of all of the movies you've done, which one was the worst?"

Laughs come from James as he asks the question while the audience lets out a chorus of 'oohhs'

You think about the question for a moment, trying to decide if it is worth risking your career to answer it so you don't have to chew on bull penis. 

"I have an answer but I don't want to ruin any chances of working with certain people again so..."

You pick up a piece of the bull penis and take a deep breath before taking a bite.

"Oh my god."

You say, quickly grabbing the spit bucket. 

"Its so chewy."

After taking a sip of water, you compose yourself and look at the table trying to decide what to give to Henry.

"So, Y/N, what will you be giving to Superman?"

James asks with a smirk. 

"Be nice, please."

Henry chuckles. 

"Well, I've seen your Instagram and you seem to like to eat healthy so you know what? I'm going to give you the Salmon smoothie."

The audience laughs as you turn the table so the pink sludge is in front of Henry who looks like he might want to kill you for it. 

You pick up the card and giggle a little bit. 

"Henry, rate your last three girlfriends from best to worst."

The audience laughs as Henry looks at you with a slight but joking glare. 

"Hey, this is James' show! I didn't write the questions!"

You say looking to James.

Henry takes the glass and closes his eyes before taking a big drink then almost immediately spits it into the bucket. 

After taking a few seconds to recover, Henry looks at James before choosing the worst possible choice on the table for him, finally deciding on the bird saliva. 

"James,  what celebrity have you turned down for carpool karaoke and why?"

Without even a thought, James picks up the martini glass and takes a swig of the cloudy liquid as you and Henry both gag for him.

James regains his composure once he spits into the bucket and takes multiple drinks of water and picks your next food. 

"Cod sperm, I think."

The grin on his face was almost devilish. 

"I mean you already gave me bull penis so why not keep the theme alive."

You shrug trying to play off how grossed out you were. 

"Ooohhh, Y/N, would you rather score a date with Captain America or Superman?"

He asks and you look at him shocked.

"You're really going to out me on the spot like that, James? I feel like since I am a part of Marvel, I have to pick Cap but I mean Henry is right here so that would be rude not to pick him."

You say, trying to figure out what to say. 

"It's ok love, you can pick Captain America. No hard feelings."

Henry says sweetly trying to help you make the choice as the audience swoons. 

"Well alright then. Cap is my man."

You laugh then begin looking at what was left on the table. 

"Ok Henry, I'm going to be nice and give you the crickets. I hear they are a delicacy in some parts of the world."

You give him a cute wink as you spin the table then pick up the next card. 

"Would you like to go on a da-"

You stop as you read the last part of the question to yourself then look up to James and shake your head.

"What? What does it say? Read the question."

James asks with a knowing smirk. 

"No, I can't read this!"

You refuse. 

"It's ok, you can read it. I don't mind."

Henry says, urging you on and you shake your head again. 

James finally reaches over and takes the card from you. 

"I'll read it. Henry, would you like to go out on a date with Y/N?"

The audience gasps as you look down at your hands. 

Henry blushes a bit and smiles. 

"I would love to."

You look up at him quickly, almost in shock at his answer. 

"Well, that was our first ever love connection on Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts! Stick around and we will be right back with Y/F/N Y/L/N after the break!"

The show goes to commercial and the stage hands begin to clear the set. 

"Why did you say yes?"

You ask Henry, thinking he was just trying to be a good sport for the game and play along with James' crazy antics. 

"Because, I've been wanting to ask you out for the longest time and never had the chance before."

He admits and you feel your heart begin to pound. 

"Really?"

Was all you could manage to get out and Henry chuckles.

"Really. So, after the show? Maybe we can grab a late dinner?"

Henry takes your hand in his with a hopeful smile. 

"That sounds great."

You reply just as you are told the commercial break was about to end and are led up on stage to join James for your segment while Henry heads backstage to figure out where to take you on your first date. 

[demibats]

rubescent. [p. parker]

summary: anon requested prompt 26 “You’ve got an eyelash on your cheek.” warnings: brief profanity, unnecessary use of italics word count: 2k+

“And that’s how you get B.”

You were blown away by Peter’s mind. How flawlessly he danced around the equations presented to you on your paper and ended up at the answer. You watched him write more than you were listening to him explain the process so you didn’t really get much written down yourself. He looked up from his paper and pressed his lips together then made a quiet popping sound with them. Brown eyes drifted from yours to your nearly blank notebook to which he chuckled at.

“Were you paying any attention to what I said?” He teased, taking your notebook to begin writing step by step notes for your own use. 

A little embarrassed, you lifted your sweater-covered hands up to cover your face, letting out your own defeated laughter, “I tried but you talked so fast, it’s hard to keep up.” You lied. Peter seemed oblivious to your origin of your distracted nature and continued writing down his helpful tips. 

You and Peter sat on his small bed, notebooks and textbooks heaped up around you to study for upcoming finals. He seemed so laid back compared to when you two sat a few seats away from each other in your lecture hall. He always sat so straight, his eyes glued to the blackboard, absorbing the information that was being presented. You later realized that a reason you asked him to help you study was because you spent quite a bit of time glancing in his direction to look at him rather than your professor or notes.

“Peter! Your food is here!” His aunt yelled from downstairs, making both of you flinch slightly. While Peter stood up to go retrieve the food for the two of you, you leaned over to your bag and grabbed your wallet, fishing out two twenty dollar bills for him. 

“I’ll cover it. Consider it payback for helping me study.” You said with a smile, but before you could finish, Peter was shaking his head at you.

“No no, don’t worry about it, my treat.”

“No, you take the money. Seriously, Pete, I wouldn’t be armed to the teeth with knowledge for this exam if it wasn’t for you. Let me pay.” You felt your lower lip push out into a slight pout and caught yourself, brushing it off with a chuckle. 

He took the cash with a huff and spun around to leave. Stubborn bastard. 

You stood up from your place on his mattress and scanned his room. It was relatively clean, all except for his desk. There were a bunch of papers littered, some crumpled up and some heavily written on. He had things tacked above his desk as well, some that looked like they were from high school. Yearbook photos and academic awards, a picture of a man with glasses and a lab coat and concert tickets. A part of you longed to see who Peter was outside of an instructional setting.

In the midst of your snooping, Peter stood in the doorway, the takeout containers in his hands. He watched as you furrowed your eyebrows while reading some of his notes for a class you didn’t share and how puzzled you seemed, “So I’m guessing particle physics isn’t your forte?” 

Startled, you jumped back and faced the direction of the voice. He caught you being nosy, which escalated your previous embarrassment even more. At least he wasn’t pissed off you were rummaging through his things. Most people would be. 

The two of you returned to your study spot, white takeout boxes replacing your homework. The quiet wasn’t awkward at all, it was comfortable; pleasant even. While Peter had a mouthful of lo mein, you looked up from your dish and washed him scarf them down.

“Did you always want to do bioengineering?” You asked. 

Peter finished chewing the remaining noodles and swallowed them down with a gulp of soda. Exhaling, he situated his body toward you more. “Not really. I kinda wanted to follow in my dad’s footsteps and focus on Cross-Species Genetics but we all saw how that turned out for Dr. Connors so.. I pursued a different passion and ended up here.”

While he was enthused to discuss his career path, his tone dropped when he began talking about his father. You cringed inward and instantly regretted asking, but Peter let it roll off his back, “What about you? Organic chemistry seems a little far off from being a journalism major.”

“Science is a required class, thank you very much. And clearly I’m not very good at it or I wouldn’t be asking for help.” You twirled your noodles around your chopsticks, looking away from Peter. 

He shook his head as he placed a jumbo helping of noodles and vegetables into his mouth, speaking through the food. It was unintelligible but it was still so cute. 

“Come again, ace?” You asked, leaning toward him as an attempt to hear him better.

Peter brought his hand up to hover over his mouth, his contagious laughter ringing through his room, “Sorry, sorry, ahem.. I was trying to say that you’re- you’re smart, y’know? Smarter than a lot of the morons we sit with. I um- I think there are other reasons that we’re studying together, y’know?”

As he finished his sentence, his voice got quieter and he gazed down into his food, a poor way of trying to hide his blushing cheeks. If only he was looking at yours. 

You cleared your throat to try to defuse the tension brewing, your thumb sliding over the side of your food carton. “And you’re smart enough to figure that out.” Your voice was nearly as quiet as his.

Slowly, he lifted his head, panning his vision up, hoping to meet your eyes. His toothy smile caught your attention the most, making you return the grin. For a split second, he squinted at you.  “You’ve got an eyelash on your cheek.” He murmured, but you heard him. 

Peter shifted his weight forward, bringing his hand up to your face, the pad of his thumb swiping underneath your eye in a leisurely motion. Your eyelids fluttered down as he did so, your breath hitching in your throat. The feeling of his thumb traveled down to your cheekbone, his hand cradling your face. You opened your eyes briefly, to see Peter inches away from your face.

A beat of silence passed and then you spoke finally, “Kiss me…” You whispered, searching his eyes for a sign that he wanted the same. 

That’s all Peter needed before surging forward, his pinkish lips folding over yours. A chill ran down your spine as he pulled you closer, his hand never once leaving his spot holding your jaw. Your nose bumped his glasses, but neither of you paid any attention to it. Peter’s plush lips opened then settled against yours, his breath mingling with yours as you leaned more and more into his touch. 

Your mind was racing, but not a single coherent thought could be made of the jumbled mess inside your head. The feeling of your heart hammering in your chest almost distracted you from Peter’s kiss and gentle caress. It felt like hours and seconds all at the same time. After Peter pulled away, you could feel yourself pouting again but made no attempt to hide it. He bit down on his lower lip before leaning in to press a brisk kiss to your lips once more. 

“We should, y’know, finish up the- the homework.” He mumbled, too frazzled to think straight. 

You nodded in agreement, too giddy to speak. 

The rest of the study session went by rather quickly. With the tools Peter gave you, you had a bit of hopefulness in yourself as far as the exam went. You slowly packed away your belongings, wanting to spend as much time with Peter as possible. 

“I appreciate the help. My arsenal of tips and tricks is full of Peter Parker’s genius now.” You stood up from his bed, holding the strap on your shoulder, smiling down at him.

You watched as Peter almost hesitantly climbed off his bed and stood before you, towering over you. Another breath got caught in your throat as you looked up into his eyes, pressing your lips together as you anticipated his next move. 

He reached up, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose before he grabbed his skateboard from the corner of his room. While you were slightly bummed he didn’t kiss you again, you figured he’d want to be home before dark so he wasn’t skating through Queens alone in the dark. 

Aunt May gave a small wave from the porch as you and Peter walked, shoulder to shoulder down the sidewalk. He looked behind him briefly to see his aunt giving him a thumbs up and a sly wink. Oh brother.

“Are you gonna stay in New York once you graduate?” You asked, watching the cracks in the sidewalks as you passed each of them. 

“Yeah, probably. I gotta take care of May and this place might be a shithole but it’s home.” Peter scratched the back of his neck briefly before letting his hand drop by his side, bumping into yours. He mumbled an apology, looking at his shoes.

It took every ounce of courage you possessed, but you looked down between you two and laced your fingers with Peter’s as you walked. Neither of you said anything about it, but kept discussing little things like a minor childhood memory Peter remembered after seeing something or what you wanted to do when you graduated. Once you made it to your little house a few blocks away, Peter walked you right up to the doorstep, not letting go of your hand while you stood there. 

“Thanks again for tutoring me.” You gave your thanks, but even so Peter didn’t budge and neither did you. He stayed there, looking everywhere but into your eyes. His laidback nature melted away into being a flustered mess but it was the cutest thing you’d ever seen. 

“We could always do something else, I mean, after exams. We go, y’know, or do something else, if you want.” Peter stammered, finally looking down, a sheepish grin on his face.

“Yeah, that sounds great.” You wet your lips quickly before turning to open your door. Before your hand could get to the knob, Peter had you pull flush against him, his lips finding yours. Your arms instinctively curling around his neck, drawing him in closer. 

His fervent kiss caught you slightly off guard, but you welcomed it nonetheless. You didn't care if wandering eyes witnessed Peter’s display of affection on your porch, all you cared about was Peter. His hand held the small of your back, pressing you into his hard chest while your fingers found purchase in his hair, scratching his scalp gently. Before you found yourself too far gone, you pulled back, looking down between your bodies. “Text me, okay?” You whispered, peeking up through your lashes. 

He nodded as he dropped his hand to his side, the other still clutching his board. His scruffiness looked even more disheveled than before due to the heated kiss, but Peter didn’t seem to mind as he hopped down the steps and placed his skateboard on the concrete. 

“How about I pick you and we can take the subway to campus together?” He hollered before you managed to get into your house. 

You turned back toward him, tucking loose strands of hair behind your ear as the wind whipped them around. Nodding quickly, at a loss for words because of this damn boy. His cheeky smile was the last thing you saw before he was zipping down the street on his skateboard.

When you entered the house, you found yourself lingering against the front door for a long moment. With the back of your body pressed against it, you felt a small bump in your back pocket. You pulled off of the door and reached into your blue jeans, pulling out the two twenties you gave for Peter to pay for the takeout, folded into fours together. Cheeky bastard.

---

a/n: This was extremely fun to write! I definitely have found my groove writing for Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spider-man, I think he’s become my favorite Spider-man now, I still love Tom Holland though I hope this is satisfactory! Thanks to the folks who are requesting things, I’m slowly making my way through them!

[blueluneacy]

Ooh, TWST requests?? Could you write something cute about Riddle trying to confess his crush on the kinda oblivious reader who was his childhood friend? If you’re willing to write for Riddle, of course 🥺 He’s my favorite from TWST so I had to ask

I love that twink

this one got sad. you know the regret you have when you slowly grow apart from someone you loved a long time ago until they’re almost a stranger? yeah. i promise its a happy ending tho

warnings: slight self degrading thoughts, also what i said above

You really didn’t expect to see him waiting under the tree. When you got the note under your door this morning, you were actually pretty shocked. You knew that Riddle wasn’t exactly allowed to talk to you when he was home due to the… Incident when you were kids, and sometimes you even felt like he and the others forgot about you. It wasn’t like you had cool magic like everyone else. But still, it was nice that he wanted to see you, right? So, you got there, smiling all the while. Riddle just huffed.

“You’re late, again. You’re always late.” He told you. You just pouted a little. 

“Hey, I’m five minutes early! I did really well this time!” You told him. Riddle just huffed.

“You should be fifteen minutes early to your meetings. I’ve told you about this a hundred times now.” He scolded. You just continued to laugh.

“Well, you and Trey are gone all the time now. It’s just me. I’m forgetting all of your good advice.” You replied, teasing a bit before finally leaning against the tree. “So what’s up? It’s been a really long time since we spent time below this tree.” You commented. And you were right. It seemed that when the four of you all started school, Trey and Riddle going to Night Raven College and Che’nya going to Royal Sword Academy, it seemed that all of you grew apart. I guess that happens when you grow up, but it still was sad. But, that was life, wasn’t it?

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about something important.” Riddle told you. You just sighed, already shaking your head. You had a feeling you knew what this was about, and you didn’t want to hear it.

“If my mom put you up to this, I don’t want to talk about it.” You replied. Riddle just paused.

“... Huh?”

“I don’t want to think about my career path. I have a few months to figure it out, I don’t need to have everything planned right away. Knowing me, I’ll probably just take an office job for the rest of my life.” You said. Riddle blinked, but tried to go back to what he meant to say in the first place.

“Well I-”

“And it’s not like I’m particularly talented at anything. I mean, I’m not bad at anything, and I get good enough grades, so I don’t understand what the big deal about figuring out job training right this second. I mean, I don’t want to have my entire life just planned out, that sounds so boring.” You just continued to talk, not even noticing the look on Riddle’s face before he just cried out.

“That’s not what I want to talk about! God, can’t you tell that I like you?!” Riddle cried out. You just paused for a moment, blinking for a moment before looking over the note he gave you again.

“... Oh.” You looked away, feeling your face heat up a good deal, before just laughing a bit. “You might have wanted to make that more clear. I mean, your letter really did look like you were about to come scold me. I was about to call Trey to see if he would save me from your lectures.” You did your best to joke and let the effects of your obliviousness roll off your back, but Riddle was clearly embarrassed by the way you were embarrassed.

“God… The entire plan for that confession is ruined now…” He said, looking at the ground. You sighed a little bit, shaking your head.

“You really wanted that to be perfect, huh? But, I’m not really perfect, so I don’t think a perfect confession would really suit me.” You told him, before reaching out and holding his hand. Riddle looked over at you with his eyes wide, blinking up at you for a moment. You let your voice get quiet, as you looked away. You had feelings for Riddle, sure. You had had them for a long time. But you let yourself repress them all. After all, you knew Riddle’s mother absolutely despised you and that she would never let anything happen. And more importantly, you knew that you would never be up to par with the rest of your friends. It was a constant biting feeling in your chest, that you were the squeaky wheel when it came to all of you, but always tried to hide it. 

“I… I think you’re perfect.” Riddle told you. You felt your eyes start to water as you smiled at him, nodding a bit.

“I’m really not. But if… If you’re okay with just me, then…” You did you best not to go on a diatribe about how Riddle should look for someone else. That you would cause a million problems for him with his mother alone, that he should seek out something better. And Riddle, knowing you as well as he did, saw the thoughts that went through your head and just pulled you into a hug.

“(Y/n)... If I didn’t actually like you, I wouldn’t be telling you this. So stop that.” He told you, leaving you just to grip onto the back of his shirt.

“Am I really that easy to read?” You asked with a small laugh, trying to bring yourself together.

“And oblivious too. I’ve been trying to confess for the last three years, but you keep floating off and thinking about something else.” Riddle told you with a small laugh. You pulled away and just stared at him, shocked.

“No way! You’re messing with me!” You said, but he just laughed.

“Ask Trey. I swear, you constantly start thinking about something else.” He said. You huffed, declaring that you would do just that, marching off with Riddle to go and ask Trey directly.

When the two of you left the tree of your childhood, you were still holding hands.

[rosethornewrites]

Fics I read this week!

I started this right after posting the last one, so I’ll hopefully keep it up. A lot of the multichapter fics are ones I subscribed to that finished. A lot of the one-shots are under 5k words, with some being 100-word ficlets.

Finished:

Not Rated:

Wei Changze's weird day, by Weiyingbestboy

Wei Changze was minding his own business, when four potential time travellers dropped out of the sky. Literally.

Serenity Cave, by Anonymous

The travel home had been mostly silent. Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian competing for who could say the least amount of words.

Then, as they’d been walking along the mountain path, just a little past the gates of Cloud Recesses, a hole suddenly opened up in the ground beneath them and they fell into a small rock cave. Then the hole shrunk until it was barely big enough to poke a sword through. Just enough of a gap that they had a bit of light and wouldn’t suffocate, but definitely too small to escape through.

The earth had swallowed them.

…

In the middle of an argument, Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian get trapped in a cave.

In Which Lan Xichen Returns to the World, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Xichen ends his isolation after the death of Jin Guangyao.

In Which Lan Qiren Requests an Audience, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Qiren wants to discuss Important Matters with his nephew. His nephew is kinda not having it.

Mercy Meet Vengeance, by ShanaStoryteller (7th in a series)

The first time Wen Qing meets Wei Wuxian, she has a white sash around her waist.

Rated E:

Thirty-three Lashes, by Winglesss (20 chapters)

Yiling Laozu is dead. He's been dead for over a thousand years. For over a thousand years Lan Wangji has been wandering the world alone, helping where he's needed.

It's when he meets a mysterious cultivator and a strange curse starts to torment his body that the past and the present start to mingle, igniting emotions Lan Wangji almost forgot he was able to feel.

curiosity is the beginning, by everyearning (noctiphany)

He's just curious. Wangi's brother always said he had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. He also said it was going to get him in trouble one day.

Rated M:

devil from heaven, by incendir (3 chapters)

He would like to think that he knows what Lan Wangji could enjoy, if he’d let himself do so.

(or, wei wuxian's road to discovering lan wangji's yiling patriarch kink)

in this lifetime, by hauntedotamatone

Lan Wangji must reach him. There is still time. All he has to do is reach him. They’ll take A-Yuan and whoever remains and they’ll go as far and fast as they can. The world is vast, there must be a place for them somewhere, and if there is not, then he will carve one out from nothing if that is what it will take.

“Wei Ying!” he calls out to him over the roar of the flames and the familiar and terrible sounds of battle. At first, he thinks that Wei Ying is ignoring him or otherwise does not hear him. Then, his fingers still over his flute. He looks up with those empty eyes, unseeing. There is no hatred in them, but there is no affection or recognition either. There is nothing at all.

Lan Wangji has a terrible nightmare for the first time in years. For the first time in years, he does not wake up alone.

We Are Family, by Duochanfan (13 chapters)

Jiang Yanli heard the words spewing from Jin Zixun's mouth and said enough. After putting the man in his place she leaves the Hunt with her brother and Lan Wangji. The three come across Wen Qing, and with that simple meeting, they change what could have happened to something else entirely.

until it's time to see the light, I'll make my own with you each night, by backbones

His husband would never go back to sleep if he sensed something was wrong, and he always did. He knew him better than he knew himself, sometimes, and maybe that was why that feeling was so foreign it was horrifying. He wanted to keep that part of himself close, a well-kept secret, and now, deep down, he knew it was too late for that.

Or: After having a nightmare in a deep sleep, Wei Wuxian has a surprise visit from an old childhood habit.

Rated T:

Wei Wuxian Discovers Bisexuality, by arcaladiwoompa

AU where WWX decides he quite enjoys being passionately kissed against a tree by an unknown assailant and acts on it instead of just sitting there going herp derp I wonder who this very strong cultivator could possibly be.

Rescue, by WithBroomBefore (6 chapters)

Post-Sunshot fix-it AU featuring Jiang siblings taking care of each other, among other things.

Over the Rotted Bridge, by vailkagami (41 chapters)

Lan Wangji saves the Wen remants from execution but is killed in the process. The Yiling Patriarch loses himself in grief and rage and the determination to bring him back no matter what.

The world is not on his side in this. It is not on either of their sides when he succeeds. But The World is not all of its people, and some things can always be salvaged from the ruins.

Across, by vailkagami

An epilogue to the story "Over the Rotted Bridge", set in the far future. Cannot stand alone.

Centuries after the fall of the cultivation world, Wei Wuxian and Wangji return to the burial mounds for the last time.

Completion, by youjezebel

Lan Wangji misses raising A-Yuan. Wei Wuxian wants to be a father. In the end, everything works out perfectly.

Second Nephew, by vividneonmanias

"You need to stop talking to Wàngjī," Lan Xīchén told him, in the uncannily stern tones of a Sect Leader and not a nephew; "and preferably stop talking about him, if you cannot control yourself."

In the years following Wèi Wúxiàn's death, Lán Qǐrén learns to hold his tongue. But he still wants to know his second nephew. Some things need to be said; some questions need to be asked.

oceans, drowned in starfire, by stiltonbasket (10 chapters)

Lan Wangji breathes.

There is a tattered red ribbon trailing through the water beside him, and below him, a crooning, echoing song that clears his mind and stops him from struggling against the waves.

Lan Wangji breathes, and sleeps, and wakes again.

When he opens his eyes on the beach to find Huan-ge and Shufu crying over his body, he hears a lifeguard say that he was underwater for almost half an hour. ___

Tired of life in the business world, Lan Wangji returns to his mother’s old house to pursue a career as a novelist and search for the mysterious fisherman who rescued him after he nearly drowned on a whale-watching trip twenty years ago.

He wasn’t expecting much more than a quiet refuge to serve as inspiration for his work, and restore his spirits after half a lifetime spent in the city. But when a lost merbaby washes up on the beach in Caiyi, Lan Wangji realizes that his childhood savior might be closer than he thinks.

adding shadows to the walls of the cave, by Fleetling

It didn’t take Wei Wuxian long to see what he was pointing at, and as soon as he did, the smaller man turned back to face their juniors. “Cave!” he shouted across the thunder of the raindrops hitting the muddy path. “Hanguang-Jun found us a cave! We’ll stop to dry off, and head out again once the rain has stopped!” Beside him, Lan Wangji inclined his head in silent agreement. The bickering of the juniors cut out as they focused on making it the remaining short distance on the slippery ground.

They all huddled into the entrance of the cave, taking refuge from the rain, but waiting for directions before heading in.

Ouyang Zizhen ran his hand over the wall, feeling slight bumps and indents below his fingers. He brushed off the dirt, reading the characters revealed. “The lovers’ cave,” he read, shaking his head with a smile. Probably a local pair who came here occasionally. It was a bit romantic, when one thought of it. It also probably meant that the cave was safe - no lovers would hide away in a cave that contained resentful energy or other dangers.

Say It Until I Hear You, by DrowningByDegrees

Lan Zhan does not say what has him rattled, but neither does he retreat. He concedes by fractions, an embrace he does not shake off, a shaky sigh when his forehead comes to rest against Wei Wuxian’s collarbone, a wordless surrender when Wei Wuxian gathers him closer. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know precisely which ones, but there are ghosts in bed with them tonight, sorrow and regret and all the might have beens they cast aside so long ago.

Dull Comforts, by Just_Another_Mystery

Five times Làn Sīzhuī pondered the existence of a parent he does not remember having.

Downpour, by milesofheart

The way Wei Ying had looked at him…warily, expecting a fight, steeling himself for Lan Wangji to denounce him. Waiting for the worst from Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji’s heart cracked down the middle and his whole body shook as he wept now in the rain, the mud of Qiongqi Path seeping into his once-pristine robes.

on the importance of home (and all it implies), by nixtothou

The Burial Mounds are empty.

Wei Wuxian had expected this, yet for some reason it still hurt to see.

The Best Place to Study, by adrian_kres

Lan Zhan decides to study in the law library this time. He leaves with a boyfriend.

Rated G:

cadillac converter, by mdzsed

lan zhan's car starts making weird noises so he takes it to get it repaired. the new mechanic does not look like he knows what he's doing. good thing lan zhan is no fool.

or: lan zhan makes a complete idiot out of himself but hey, it scored him a date with a handsome mechanic so it's all good.

a small spark, by sebfish

It had started, as many things did, because Wen Qing was worried, and Wei Wuxian had learned early on that she wouldn’t budge until she’d gotten her way.

Winter in Cloud Recesses, by Sarehz

Winter in Cloud Recesses was cold. Really cold. It was a chill that penetrated Wei Wuxian's bones and reminded him of that period after his parents died when he shivered alone in the streets.

His Face, by AshayaTReldai

Among Su She's possessions was found a qiankun pouch containing a sheaf of sketches of Hanguang Jun, inspiring a lifetime's exchange between Wei Wuxian and his husband Lan Wangji, studies of his face.

anger, by theninjacat

Beloved Old Lines, by Preludian_Staves

A quiet Wuxian was a creature Qiren had learned to never trust in mixed company.

I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight, by Sarehz

Wei Wuxian was sitting on the roof. Again. It had become his go to place recently when he had to attend these sort of boring meetings where all the Sect Leader's met up and congratulated each other on defeating Wen Ruohan and blah blah blah.

Unexpected, by WithBroomBefore

It is not, from Lan Wangji’s perspective, an unpleasant kiss. He has no particular objection to kissing people, though admittedly he has only ever done so as a prelude to activities that involve various other bits of the body. And it is Wei Wuxian; nothing involving Wei Wuxian is awful. The kiss is...fine.

Modern AU, just some aroace/aro queerplatonic roommates finding the words.

An Accidental Clothes Thief, by Preludian_Staves

He should have probably realized what he'd accidentally done before starting work on a new talisman.

Groupie, by Speechless_since_1998

Being the manager of a band was hard work, but someone had to do it. And Lan Xichen was the only one able to keep members of his brother's band in line.

A Silver Thread, by DizziDreams

Lan Wangji is brushing Wei Ying's Hair before bed, when he sees it, glinting like a fish through the dark glassy waters of a deep pool:

A single, silver hair.

The sky is overcast and I'm sorry, by hamlets_ghost (8th part of a series)

Wangji's brother is gone once again.

A-niang explains.

Follow the sound of pipe, follow this song, by fairyprincess2

He took the last steps needed to reach the opening and there he was, black and red clothes flying with the wind, hair bound up in a ponytail with a red hair band. He was standing with his back facing Lan Wangji but it was him, he knew it was.

(In)Hindsight, it's obvious, by Potatoes_Radishes 

Lan Qiren woke up undisturbed, calm and refreshed, that was enough for him to immediately know something was odd, mainly due to the lack of noises during the night that made him suspect it, he grumbled away his frustrations regarding what he assumed would have been another prank as he got up to get dressed.

When he left the bathroom and moved outside, a very different set of robes awaited him, one he hadn’t worn in years. He finally took a notice of his surrounding, the room was different resembling the one from before their rebuilding, not caring about his state of undress as he open the door almost on the verge of panic, the first thing that rang out in the morning was a loud yell of “WEI WUXIAN!!!”

Unfinished:

Rated E:

taking over you, by sassybluee (3rd in a series)

Before, he’d once fantasized about giving in—shutting Wei Ying up with his lips, stilling his limbs with his own forehead ribbon. He imagined himself making demands. And then Wei Ying went missing. Wei Ying was presumed dead. And Wei Ying returned from the Burial Mounds. By then, Lan Wangji’s desires had long since cooled, and all that remained was longing. Longing to ease Wei Ying’s suffering. Longing to help him know he was not as alone as he seemed to feel. He would have gladly given him everything back then, if he knew how to ask for it. Would have surrendered his body to show him he cared.

And now?

_____

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian explore married life, and all that entails.

Rated M:

Keep Holding On, by abCEE

As they reached an inn and Wei Wuxian got them a room with three beds, the world seemed to have frozen for Jiang Yanli when her brother suddenly fainted and Jiang Wanyin was just fast enough to catch him before his body could hit the floor.

"A-Xian!"

"Wei Wuxian!"

In which after the Lotus Pier Massacre: Wei Wuxian was greatly injured by Zidian, Jiang Yanli left the inn to buy the medicines and food, and Jiang Wanyin distracted the Wens.

(With a bonus of Wei Wuxian knowing the title of the song and more things ensued inside the Xuanwu Cave that may or may have not involved Lan Wangji's forehead ribbon)

Canon diverged from there.

Sacrifices Made with Blood, by NocturnalFriend

Lan Wangji knew it was too late, there was too much blood on Wei Ying's hands already. Still, if he asked his brother for help, surely. There was a way to rescue the man who held his heart?

Or: Trust is not easily given and all to easily shattered. Lan Wangji learns this in the worst way, when Lan Xichen gives into the demands of the cultivation world. Although nobody could have predicted the whims of fate, giving them another chance at righting things.

lan jingyi vs. the laws of time itself, by agloeian (2nd in a series)

His kick has dislodged some stray fragments of Guanyin Temple's destroyed ceiling beams. Jingyi stares at them as he kneads his toes through his boot. They’re as red as the blood that stains the floor beneath him, sharp and splintering. Wind whistles through the wood and stone, though there’s a flickering too - the sound of paper fluttering in the breeze.

A talisman written in blood.

---

Lan Jingyi finds a way home.

Dream a little dream of me, by Moominmammashandbag

Lan WangJi braced himself.

“Wei Ying.” he said.

“You are not dreaming. This is real. You have been rescued.”

“The kissing bit comes first!” said Wei Wuxian impatiently.

“But…I cannot kiss you if you think you are dreaming!"

“I don’t see the logic in that.” said Wei Wuxian. “I obviously want you to kiss me or I wouldn’t be dreaming about it!

Rated T:

Love Song In Reverse, by timetoboldlygo

Wei Wuxian gasps back into life without a single memory left. His friends, his siblings, his home — all lost to the fog in his head, nothing more than a mystery slipping through his fingers. What else was there to do but carry himself around in bits and parts, trying to become whole, a letter waiting to be written? He is – he is Mo Xuanyu, isn’t he? In this body, with these people. This family. He has to be Mo Xuanyu, he didn’t know anything else, even if the name sounded wrong. That was all he had.

Well, that and Hanguang-jun.

Lan Wangji, for his part, has had his taste of love and lost it. In all his grieving and searching, he didn’t expect to find another.

-

Wei Wuxian gets resurrected, loses his memories, and falls in love.

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

A Teacher’s Oath, by MaelStromm

Deep down, only one thing really matters.

It is not being a good Lan, despite what the entire cultivation world may think, nor is it "sucking the fun out of life" as some disciple had once said.

More than anything, Lan Qiren is a good teacher.

Despite too many to count prejudices and the boy's chaotic behavior, he'll burn his ribbon before he lets this genius be wasted.

Or :

An AU where LQR gets along with WWX and somehow ends up having to deal with far too much drama.

I've Heard of Second Chances, but This Is Ridiculous, by velvet_green

One of Wei Wuxian’s experimental talisman arrays sends himself, his husband and his brother to that mythical land of long ago – the Gusu Lan lectures of their youth.

Wei Wuxian is amused. Lan Wangji is silent. Jiang Cheng is angry.

And their younger versions are mostly just very, very confused.

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Crushing on the rival-Lukadrien June Day 3

Ok, yes I’m technically late, but I don’t care! I wanted to do a Glee AU so bad and this was so hard to do. Usually when reading Glee Klaine fics as lukadrien, Nino is at Dalton since either Nick or Jeff becomes Kurt’s best friend and you can’t split up Nino and Adrien. So Nino attended for a while before budget cuts messed up his scholarship. Kieran is from @depressed-teacup-inc and @sarcasticsparkles Divergence. I meant for him to featured just a little more but it just didn’t work out like that. Adrien’s mom is alive but is spliting up with his dad and I put Chloe in Rachel’s position when it came to dating the enemy first since it always comes up in Anderberry fics when Rachel doesn’t say who Blaine is because she doesn’t want to be accused of selling secrets to her brother. Anyway, please enjoy and we’ll see if day 4 actually comes out. Rival Musicians 

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Nino said, adjusting his white tie. He’d forgotten how much he hadn’t been a fan of the Quantic Academy uniform. The pale blue shirts with the black blazers and white ties weren’t his aesthetic and even though it sucked to lose his scholarship, he’d been beyond happy to never put the uniform on again. He looked over to Marc and Nath, who seemed to pull it off with ease.

Totally unfair.

“I can’t believe you let Alya and Marinette bully you into coming to spy.” Nath said.

“No you’re not.” Marc clarified. “Remember how we got together?”

“Yeah, no. this fits perfectly. We should just be glad Chloe wasn’t the one to find out you used to go to school with our competitor. That would have been worse.”

“Yeah, especially since we all experienced her dating the ‘enemy’ last year. Last thing I need is her accusing me of giving secrets away. I really don’t want to bring up her asshole ex in her face. She’s finally starting to open up again.” Nino said.

“Where’s Adrien?” Marc asked, changing the subject. “You made it sound like we have a small window.”

“We do. Assuming things haven’t changed in a year, teachers take the afternoon to have a meeting while letting the students study and such. Or in the Warbler’s case, have impromptu performances to test songs out. If we don’t want to get caught, we need to be there when the mass text goes out and everyone is heading to the Senior Commons.”

Just then, a very familiar silver car pulled up in front of the boys. Adrien climbed out, in a black leather jacket and a white rocker tie but still in the same colours.

“Sorry I’m late. Mom promised the appointment would be over before I had to leave, but divorce proceedings involving my dad aren’t exactly easy. They were arguing over my ‘modelling’ career for a full hour before my mom’s lawyer managed to shut my dad up. I think, that woman speaks like a pirate and is just as ruthless and doesn’t like my dad, so she could have been insulting him for all I know.”

“Sorry you have to deal with this.” Nino said, patting his best friend on his shoulder.

“You haven’t modelled for almost 3 years. Your ‘career’ is just your dad reusing old photos of you for campaigns.” Nath said. “We can only hope we don’t have another instance like when it was your first day at school and you ran into the glee room to hide from your fans.”

“But, hey! We got you out of it.” Nino said. “You stick out like a sore thumb though.”

“It’s not my fault. You said you had enough extra uniforms. You’re the one who didn’t include yourself in the count. Let’s just be happy I have enough clothes to make an iteration of it.” Adrien said.

“Fair enough. Come on.”

All four of them walked into the main building. It was beautiful, a mix of old architecture and new, like a classic hotel or something along the lines. They slowed when Nino did as they approached the front desk, which was thankfully empty with a note to call when arrived.

“I’m so happy the headmaster uses the front desk secretary as his own. I mean, she gives as good as she gets and doesn’t take shit, but she’s also got a practical eidetic memory.” Nino said. “Ok, now there’s a student that we called the Caterpillar – he lived in my dorm and everyone had Alice in Wonderland names – who has access to everyone’s phone number and he’s in the Warblers, so he sends out a massive text message to everyone.”

“How are we even sure they’re planning on doing a performance?” Adrien asked.

“We don’t but I know so close to competition time Marin would want to practise when they have the chance, so at the very least we can peak into the Senior Commons were they practise.”

They got to the first hallway and Adrien saw that what he thought ground level was actually the first floor.

“Cafeteria is downstairs and exits for the gardens and the library. This floor holds some classrooms and common rooms, more classrooms and offices upstairs. The Senior Commons is actually down the hall and downstairs. They got first pick when the place was being built and it has the closest exit to where the dorms are.”

“Should we hang near there or somewhere else?” Nath asked.

However, before Nino could offer a suggestion, the one thing Adrien dreaded pierced through the empty and quite hallway.

“Ohmygod! It’s Adrien Agreste!”

Adrien liked anime, especially the feel-good ones. The one he liked the most was Gakuen Babysitter. The scene before him reminded him of when the twins’ father, a famous actor came to school and was found out by one of the students and suddenly the area around him were swarming with fans. What happened was a bit like that, except screaming boys instead of girls and Adrien actually got a head start in running away.

Nino hated his best friend had to suffer through this, so when he was separated from him and the rest of the guys and only found Marc and Nath not long after, he felt worried.

“Where’s Adrien?”

“We thought he was with you.”

“Ok, screw Marinette and Alya telling us not to get caught.” Nino said, pulling his phone out and scrolling through his contacts until he reached one with the name being just a butterfly emoji. “If they want info, they can come look themselves. My best friend is in a school that’s not desensitized to him being around and we’re find him before we leave.”

Of course, before he could call, he saw a text from the same butterfly named person.

I’m gonna let Marin yell at you for coming to spy.

Nino cursed. He’d been hoping to avoid that. Marinette and Alya were bad and Chloe worse, but Marin lording over him with his gavel, that was something he didn’t miss from attending school here.

But don’t worry. A certain blue haired Hatter was placed in the little Alice’s path. He’ll take care of him. Also, I know a certain March Hare misses you too.

Ok, maybe he’d have to kiss that Caterpillar after all.

                                       ____________________

Adrien slowly opened the door after finally hearing the hallway fill up and all move in one direction. Everyone was speaking excitedly, so no one noticed Adrien slipping out and joining the crowd. He looked around, hoping to see 3 familiar faces but no luck. he didn’t even know if this crowd was people going to see the Warblers. He bit his lip, trying to decide what to do. He could ask and then be in a bad spot if someone recognised him or he could ask what was going on and duck into a bathroom if it wasn’t Warblers related. He decided to risk it.

“Excuse me,” he said, tapping someone on the shoulder. The guy had dyed blue hair and when he turned around Adrien saw he had the piercings to match his punk look. The uniform really didn’t match him at all. “Hi, I’m new here. What’s going on?”

He gave Adrien this smirk as if to say, ‘I know why you’re here’. “I’m Luka.”

“Adrien, nice to meet you.”

“Adrien. Well, don’t worry, I won’t scream your name. and to answer your question, the Warblers are doing an impromptu performance.”

“Oh.”

“If you want, I can take you there. You know, bump into your friends who came to spy with you.”

“S-spy? I didn’t come to spy.”

“Right, so your lack of uniform and Nino being here is a happy coincidence.”

Adrien couldn’t really think of a lie, so thrown off. He let out a squeak when Luka grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway. This one was emptier and Adrien took a closer at Luka. his uniform was perfect but his shoes were emblem covered high tops. His nails were painted and fingers home to a few rings. He also noticed a few bracelets peaking out from under shirt sleeve. Luka seemed like such an anomaly in his perfect uniform but things that spoke to his personal aesthetic.

Before he knew it, they were back in a crowd as they entered a room, no doubt the Senior Commons.

“Shot, I do stick out like a sore thumb.” Adrien said, once he saw himself compared to everyone.

“I don’t know, I like your version better.” Luka said, tugging at one of the lapels of Adrien’s leather jacket. “Your friends are over there.” He nodded towards the door, where Marc, Nath and Nino were, all standing on their toes trying to look over the crowd. Nino got distracted by someone with light brown hair and purple rain boots, but Marc and Nath spotted him.

“How did…?”

“I’m sure Nino will tell you about the special ways of the Warblers.” Just at the front of the room, 2 lines of boys appeared as they started to create a beat. “Now if you excuse me. Kieran!”

The guy Nino had been talking to darted over to the lines and Adrien took his place, hearing his friends ask him what happened and if he was ok, but his attention was focused on Luka, who stood in the very front singing.

Before you met me, I was alright But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life Now every February, you'll be my Valentine Valentine

Let's go all the way tonight No regrets, just love We can dance until we die You and I will be young forever You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

He was good, really good. And he kept staring right at Adrien.

“That’s Luka. we were roommates when I was here.” Nino said, finally getting his attention. “He was well on his way to being lead vocalist when I left.”

“He’s really good.”

“Yeah. Don’t let his accessories fool you, he’s a cool guy.”

Yeah, he was.

When the song was over and the room burst into loud applause, cheers and whistles, Luka found his way over, with the same guy who’d been talking to Nino before and two new people. They reminded him a bit of Marinette and Alya, though one of them had a sever expression currently directed at Nino.

“You come spy and you don’t even come to say hello? I’m ashamed of you Nino.” The one who reminded Adrien of Marinette said.

“Please give it a rest Marin.” Nino begged.

“No, no, let him suffer more. I’m enjoying this.” Kieran said.

“Just to check, you’re not going to report us, right?” Marc asked, looking nervous.

“Don’t worry. Your attempts are endearing and we know Nino wouldn’t bring you over here without good reason.” The other guy said. “we’re not planning on using that song for the Sectionals, so you won’t go home empty handed.”

“How about coffee? Nino doesn’t know this, but we finally opened the coffee bar in the cafeteria, student run. We can stay here if you want.” Luka offered.

In the end, Adrien waited in the room, with Nino getting dragged to be lectured by his old friends and Nath and Marc having such complicated orders, it just made more sense to go with them. Adrien looked around the commons, taking in the couches and many side tables. A few had an almost permanent show print in them, like they’d been jumped on. The few people inside the room still paid his no attention, other than glancing at him.

“Here you go.” Luka said, handing him a to go cup. “Nino mentioned you didn’t like coffee so I got you hot chocolate. Better than most cafes, we make our own with milk.”

“Thanks. Where are the others?”

“Kieran is still making Marin lecture Nino and it turns out Alan is a fan of your friends’ comic, so just me for now.”

“That’s fine. Maybe you can tell me why the tables have footprints on them.” Adrien said, tugging his jacket off as Luka plopped down next to him.

“I have a habit of jumping around on tables during practise. Marin yells at me for it, but I can’t help it. Which is surprising, since I’m pretty stationary during performances.”

Adrien let out a little laugh. “You sound like my cat. Doesn’t matter how many cat perches we have for him; he just climbs up anywhere else. Granted, focusing on him and glee has been a godsend for my mental health recently.”

“Yeah, I’m sure dealing with arguing parents and divorce isn’t easy.”

Adrien looked over at Luka, confused as to how he knew that.

“Oh, yeah. My mom is your mom’s lawyer.” Adrien raised an eyebrow not believing him. “She sounds like this.” Luka said in the same thick accent Anarka had.

“Holy, hey wait. Juleka is Anarka’s daughter, which means she’s…”

“My sister. Competing against each other, but don’t worry. Music is sacred in our house so we don’t play dirty.”

“Whoa.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t go fishing for anything. I just thought that things must be pretty difficult. Your dad makes mom pretty upset.”

“Yeah. It hasn’t been easy. The whole divorce hasn’t but this modelling thing is making things worse. Honestly, I’d be happy with glee drama. It’s the only thing that feels like it makes sense.”

“I get that. I’m older than Juleka, but I’ll be graduating at the same time as her because I ended up pulling out of school for a while. During all that, music was the only thing that made sense.”

“Was everything ok?” Adrien asked.

“Come here.” Luka led Adrien over to a piano that sat in the corner. “Take a breath and listen.” He ordered, resting his fingers on the keys. He watched Adrien do as he was told and he let his fingers move across the keys.

Adrien stared as he heard the emotions he’d been feeling were played. Every note and beat was everything.

“I’ve never been good at words. Mom struggled to get me to talk but she knew I liked music, so that started to become my voice. I guess the easiest way to explain it is I’m an empath. I can hear emotions and I tend to stay quiet. Some people at my old school didn’t like that I kept quite or I could play what they felt. Add on the muscle heads who didn’t understand that liking guys didn’t mean I liked them, things got insane. So I left and came here.” Luka ended Adrien’s song and sat on the bench to look at the blonde. “Even though music sort of got me into that mess, I get it being the only thing that feels like it makes sense.”

Adrien sat next to Luka. “And now you have glee. I was running from fans when I ran into our glee room. Mlle Bustier was ok with letting me hide there but when I saw how much fun everyone was having singing, I wanted to do the same. It’s been my escape.”

Luka bumped his elbow into Adrien’s side. “And people think models aren’t anything like us.”

“I’m really sorry you had to deal with that stuff, but I guess if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have met Nino and he wouldn’t have taken us here and we wouldn’t get to meet.”

“Guess there’s a silver lining for everything. It’s a shame we’re going up against each other in Sectionals. Hanging out with you would be fun.”

“Well,” Adrien said, shrugging, “No one said we can’t text.”

“I thought one of your team members dated a guy from an opposing team?”

“Who said anything about dating? We’re just texting. I mean, Nino texts you and the others, right? What makes me so different?”

Luka let out a laugh. “Fair enough. Adrien Agreste, rebel. I think you’ve been around my mom too much; she’s starting to take an effect on you.”

“You say that as if being a rebel is a bad thing.”

                                          ______________________

Well Adrien wasn’t a rebel, but he did enjoy talking to Luka. he was easy to talk to and they had a lot in common. When employing the same rules Juleka and Luka had on their houseboat when it came to glee, it was easy to forget he was competing against him. Nino encouraged it when he found out.

“Besides, if you end up liking Lu and asking him out, then I can ask Kieran out. Maybe. I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

It wasn’t hard to like Luka. he was good looking and funny and nice and his singing voice was amazing. But Adrien also knew dating during competition season was asking for another Chloe situation even if Luka would never do what that asshole ex did. So, Adrien made a deal with himself, he’d ask Luka out after Sectionals. One of them would win and then they wouldn’t compete anymore unless a space opened up. It would be fine.

I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing "Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

And of course listening to Luka sing Viva la Vida made Marc lean over to him and tell him if he didn’t ask him out, he would.

But like the world was against him, both the most amazing and worst thing happened. They tied. Chole had said how rare that happened. Adrien could only think about how he felt cheated out of asking Luka out. Which was why he waited in the bathroom, waiting for Luka to come in.

“Hi.” Luka said when he came in. he looked a bit disheartened and Adrien really hoped he was reading the reason right.

“Hey. Congratulations by the way. Your Viva la Vida was amazing. Chloe thought so too and she doesn’t compliment the competition much.”

“Thanks. I know you said you were a countertenor but I never expected you to hold that note in So much better.”

“Thanks. Um, listen. I really hope I haven’t been reading the signs wrong, but…I like you, enough to tell myself that after Sectionals were over, no matter what happened, I’d ask you out. But I wasn’t expecting us to both win. But that hasn’t exactly discouraged me.”

“You haven’t been reading them wrong. It was my plan too but it would really be a bad idea to date. The stakes are even higher now. Though…God, Marin might kill me for suggesting this, but how about one date? One date to get it out of our system and to also give us something to look forward to after Regionals. There isn’t a chance we’ll tie again so it’ll be fine after then, but I don’t think either of us can wait that long.”

The door to the bathroom opened and Nino poked his head in. “Adrien, bro. the bus is here, time to go.”

“Yes.” He said to Luka as he headed to the door. “I’ll text you.”

As Nino dragged him to the bus before the group got angry, Adrien told him what he and Luka planned on doing.

“As your teammate, this is a horrible idea. As your best friend, this is the best idea ever and I demand details after.”

[ruined-my-dramatic-entrance]

Hey, everyone! Decided to post a Sanders Sides fanfic I’m working on. Here’s chapter one of A Self-Study on Abnormal Reactions Influenced by Patton:

Angst/Fluff (initial angst, mostly fluff), Logicality, Prinxiety, Chapter 1/?, 1,600 words

~Chapter One: The Initial Incident~

Logan liked rules as a general, well, rule. Rules, reason, and predictability were all very appealing to him. With those figurative tools at his disposal, life was stable, secure, and satisfactory. Thus, one could imagine that it was odd to Logan — bothersome, even, unsettling, perhaps — when his own life seemed to falter from its straightforward path. He did not understand something about himself, but he was Logic. Surely, he should be able to comprehend himself with ease. With a heavy sigh, Logan pondered these predicaments as well as the events that had occurred during the last three months that had led him to this moment, hesitant with a decision for the first time in years. Maybe he should have gone to sleep early that night.

The night in question, the very first night that something was amiss with the logical side, was December 12th. Roman, the resident drama king, had thrown what Logan could only describe as a childish tantrum over his own illogical ideas. As the prince in question rambled on, his tone grew angrier with frustration. Logan did not like that and narrowed his eyes.

“You guys never listen to me! Creativity is kind of my whole thing. I’m not saying that my video ideas are the most important, but, yeah, they kind of obviously are?” Roman ranted, rolling his eyes dramatically and crossing his arms.

“I-I’m really sorry if I made you feel like that, Ro, I just don’t think that Thomas can handle it emotionally right now,” Patton replied, eyebrows scrunched upwards in guilt and concern.

Virgil was far past his patience running out and stared Roman down out of protective confidence. With a few exasperated gestures, he explained, “Look, you... Simba-leton or whatever — Thomas is stressed out so bad that he can’t even sleep through the night lately—“

“And whose fault would that be, Virgil?” Roman snapped back, cutting off the man in question before he could even finish his sentence.

“I—”

“I’m not the one making him feel so worried all the time. Maybe if you calmed down, Sir, it would be easier for Thomas to sleep and to film my ideas. Maybe it would be better for Thomas’s career if you didn’t always bring him to a new All Time Low every time he gets busy,” Roman raved. Virgil went silent and averted his gaze to the floor as if it was too painful to look up.

“Enough,” Logan demanded, standing up and approaching the others. As he broke the silence, it seemed to snap Virgil out of his thoughts.

“You know I have, Roman. I don’t have to take this right now,” the anxious side muttered, much softer and sadder than the anger he had originally intended. As he finished his statement, he looked up at Roman — only Roman, no one else — for a split second, revealing deep pain in his eyes. Speaking of his eyes, were those tears or were the three others mistaken? They didn’t have long to confirm, since Virgil sunk out with another word. Roman’s face flashed with regret and desperation for a moment before he replaced that expression with false confidence.

“I just think that Thomas’s audience would really enjoy a video a day for the 12 days of Christmas. It would make their Christmases truly magical,” Roman insisted, much less angrily, with a fanciful wave of his hand.

“Yes, if Thomas were to successfully publish 12 high quality videos in the next two weeks, it would likely be a positive experience for the viewers,” Logan conceded, to which Roman smiled and Patton grew nervous. “However, Thomas would not be able to produce videos of the necessary caliber in such short notice and especially not in such poor mental health. Your plan would result in Thomas having a mental health crisis and uploading videos that would probably be subpar to say the least, assuming he would be able to upload all 12 at all,” he elaborated.

“... But isn’t it still possible?” Roman persisted, a little shaken and nervous.

“Possible, yes. Probable, no. It is a risk that is not worth taking because the likelihood of success is minimal,” Logan insisted.

“I’m sorry, Ro, it’s just kinda not a good time for such an ambitious project,” Patton agreed apologetically.

“Yeah… it never is,” Roman grumbled in a deflated voice, sinking out.

“Goodnight, Roman—” Patton called out after him, a little too late and with no reply. His smile faded and his shoulders fell.

“You know you don’t have to pretend to be happier around us, right, Patton? We’ve discussed this matter before,” Logan remarked, scanning the other Side with his eyes.

“I…” Patton sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to make anyone feel worse, ya know?” he responded with a sad smirk that quickly dissolved into tears.

“Patton—”

“I just wish I could help them better. I’m s-supposed to be able to, right?” Patton lamented, wiping his eyes with the palms of his hands even though more tears were still flowing and his cheeks were wet once more.

“Patton, you are doing your best. Everyone knows it and everyone appreciates it, even if we may not be very vocal about it sometimes. You matter and you are essential to the group. Sometimes, you can’t fix everything...” He hesitated as Patton’s lip quivered. “But, that is perfectly normal. Roman cannot fix every issue by creative means. Virgil cannot protect Thomas from everything. I cannot… solve every issue from my perspective alone. We need your input,” he reassured.

“Do you really mean all that, Lo…?” Patton asked with a look in his eyes that conveyed such vulnerability and excitement that Logan couldn’t help but find himself a little endeared. Just a little.

“Yes, of course, I do,” he confirmed, straightening his necktie.

Patton squealed softly and smiled as wide as he could. “That means so much to me! You’re the best, Logan. You always seem to fix everything. It’s so… cool!” He took a step closer in excitement.

“I am simply doing what I can to help, as always. Now, it would probably be best for both of us to get some rest. It has been a long day and getting enough sleep will help everyone feel better,” he recommended.

“Oh…” Patton murmured, seemingly disappointed.

“Is there an issue with that?” Logan inquired, frowning slightly in confusion.

“Um… not really. I kind of just wanted to ask you something first,” he mumbled, finding it difficult to meet the other’s eyes out of shyness.

“Ah. What is it?” Logan prompted.

“Well… could I, uh… would it be okay if I hugged you?” Patton asked nervously.

“I… I’m afraid I don’t understand. You’ve hugged me before with little to no warning. Why ask now?”

“I ask now because you never really seemed comfortable with it in the past. Too much… emotion for you, I guess. I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, of course! I only want to hug you if you would enjoy it too — or at least, not mind it. I was just wondering if you would be comfortable with a hug right now,” Patton explained, almost frantic out of awkwardness.

“If that was all, of course, Patton,” Logan agreed. Immediately, the other Side practically leapt next to him and buried his face into his chest while wrapping his arms around Logan’s waist. After a moment’s hesitation, Logan reciprocated this… display of affection and attempted to hold him in a comforting manner, since Patton had been so upset that night.

“I think this is the best hug you’ve ever given me, Logan,” the moral side remarked, though his words were a little muffled into Logan’s shirt. “You make my life so much better. I don’t know what I — or any of the others would do without you,” he admitted.

“I… appreciate that, Patton. It is nice to know that I’m appreciated in my efforts,” Logan murmured steadily, though he felt a little something was off in himself. Just a little, of course.

“Appreciated? Logan, we love you so much! I always talk to the others about how much I enjoy being around you and how helpful you are to everyone and how much you mean to me — er, to all of us, really,” Patton rambled, passionate with admiration.

“I…” Logan was at a loss for words… that boded poorly, not to mention that the “little something” he felt around his heart was turning into a much larger, much more concerning something.

“Right, sorry, I’ve probably been hugging you for way too long now. We should sleep for now, like you said, getting enough sleep is important so that we can be at our best to help Thomas!” Patton said, letting go of Logan, who may have missed that feeling just a moment later… he wasn’t sure.

“Y-Yes, that would probably be the best course of action for now. Goodnight, Patton,” Logan said, having to put in an abnormal amount of effort into keeping his voice steady.

“Goodnight, Lo,” Patton replied with a cheery smile. As the other began to sink out, he added, “and, uh… thank you.” His smile had grown a bit smaller, yet it was more tender somehow, softer.

“You’re welcome. I’ll always do my best to help when I’m able to.”

“I know.” And Patton’s smile widened again, which somehow seemed to affect Logan’s current odd feelings further.

The latter man sunk out and, once he was in his room, brought his fingertips to his mouth in contemplation and grabbed his notebook with his other hand. This situation was a new occurrence and it was fairly concerning. He would have to keep track of it and all its details in the most beneficial way he knew how. Opening the notebook, he began writing notes.

A Self-Study on Abnormal Reactions Influenced by Patton:

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

BNHA College Au - Aizawa

Major: Psychology

Minor: History

Sports: Nope

Clubs: Nope x2

So shouta fully intends to become a teacher, he’s had a rough upbringing and cause of that he wants to help kids in any way he can

This is one of the reasons he chose to major in psych, other than the topic being very interesting he wants to have a good understanding on psychology so that he can be as helpful as possible

He’s planning on becoming a high school teacher cause he feels like that’s the age group he would work best with and also he could help the most there

He works at a local high school too as a tutor, decided he might as well get some experience in and tutors students (mostly first years) on whatever he can help with, he’ll go there on days he doesn’t have any classes

He’s honestly just minoring in history because it’s always interested him, he finds learning how everything has developed over time into today interesting

Him and nemuri definitely have nerdy conversations about history, even though she’s more interested in the art aspect of it, they still talk about it all the time while hizashi and oboro are usually just stuck there listening to them ramble

Anyways, back to him working at a high school, you also work there

You’ve obviously seen shouta multiple times and knew he was from your college, but you didn’t really bother trying to talk to him at first because you just needed to focus on your job

However, one day when shouta was helping a kid on his math homework, they came upon a problem that neither of them knew how to solve, and seeing you in the room the kid called you over to ask if you could help

Cue lowkey blushy shouta because you instantly ran right over and tried helping the kid with a smile, and you had this cute concentrated look on your face as you read over the problem a couple times

Eventually the problem was solved, and the kid had to go leaving you and shouta alone

You didn’t want to be rude and just walk away, and there was no one else needing your help right now so you sat down next to him and started talking to him

It was kinda awkward, you were very much carrying this conversation

“You go to UA right? What’s your major?” its a simple question that has the poor man almost panicking, but he muttered out a “Psychology.”

He’s got the kind of voice that makes him sound like he’s just not interested, but you can tell from the look on his face that he’s flustered, but it doesn’t seem like he wants you to leave

So you keep talking, mainly about your majors and career paths, but you don’t mind - it’s fun talking to the shy boy

Eventually it’s time to leave though, and you have plans elsewhere, so you go your separate ways

But now when you two are working at the same times, neither of you are so hesitant to talk to each other, and any time you have a break you spend it chatting about anything and everything

Of course, being the best friend that he is, hizashi found out about ‘the cute person at work’ that shouta’s been talking to (since after a couple days you finally exchanged numbers and suddenly your conversations weren’t limited to only being at work)

Hizashi is practically begging shouta to ask you out, literally on his hands and knees like “shOUTA PLEASSE YOU GOTTA DO IT!!!! JUST ONE DATE!!” he just wants his friend to be happy and not limited to only hanging out with him oboro and nemuri

But shouta’s too scared to, no matter how cute and nice you are he’s too worried that you’ll say no and he doesn’t wanna ruin the friendship you two have formed

So what does hizashi do? He asks you out for shouta (which almost gets him strangled when shouta finds out)

He took shouta’s phone while he went to shower, and of course he knows the password, so he just opened it up and texted you “hey, can I take you out for coffee tomorrow?”

He gets so excited when you say yes lmao and gives you all the details, then shouta walks back in and is like “the fuck are you doing?” and hizashi gets this huge grin on his face and responds “I got you a date~”

Hizashi barely even saw shouta move before suddenly the phone was ripped out of his hands so that shouta could frantically look to see just what his friend did, and the glare he sends hizashi has him almost regretting everything

Shouta debates telling you his friend sent those texts, but he sees how excitedly you said yes and decides he might as well see how this goes

He wakes up so early the next day lol he’s nervous, and he spends a good hour fixing his appearance, like he considers shaving and putting his hair up but he doesn’t want to look like he’s trying too hard at the same time, so he eventually decides on just wearing nice black jeans and a black long sleeve - going “it’s not even an actual date, it’s just coffee, it’s not that serious”

A couple hours later, shouta’s waiting in the cafe, sitting at a little table waiting for you since he got there a little early. He’s just texting hizashi, who’s offering shouta a bunch of encouragement since he knows he’s nervous, and eventually you walked in, immediately spotting shouta in the corner and going over to him

He’s so cute he sees that you dressed nicely for this too and he tries to be cool when he goes “you look nice” but the blush on his face betrays him, not that you mind, and the blush deepens when you compliment him back

He buys you your coffee, and you sit in your little corner of the cafe - just talking. Even though you guys basically do this all the time at work, now it feels more personal, and it has you both talking about your lives more. Nothing too specific, just funny stories and about your interests other than work or school related things

Once youre both done with your coffee, or when you both notice that you’ve finished it since you were so deep in conversation, he offers to walk you back to your dorm - he doesn’t want to keep you for too long

You let him, but once you get to your dorm, you tell him “I had fun, I hope we can do it again sometime” to which he can’t help but get excited for - you wanna go out with him again! Yay!

After that, it was a bit easier for him to ask you on dates, and you still saw each other at work constantly, and so you guys grew even closer pretty quick

You went on maybe 4 or 5 more casual dates before finally, after work one day, he gathered up all his courage and asked you out officially

“Hey, y/n, would you - would you go out with me? For real?” 

Baby looks so hopeful behind that generic bored stare of his, and of course youre ecstatic! You’ve had a small crush on him basically since day one, and now he’s actually asking you out! So of course you agreed, letting out an excited “of course I will!”

Okay so his friends adore you, they love seeing shouta so happy with you

You two just sit around in your dorms cuddling whenever youre not busy, hizashi acts like it’s gross, your roommate probably does too - but no one can deny how cute you are together

Even the high schoolers you tutor, of course they eventually got wind that you two were dating and they all ship it like crazy

Most of your dates consist of small things, like going back to that cafe, or taking a late night walk in the park, he doesn’t like doing anything too grand

Its fun watching as his beard grows out during finals, he’s too busy studying to shave and youre trying to kiss him but he’s all itchy, and he’s just like “Kitten, I’m sorry I promise I’ll shave later” every single day until he finally does, but then again if you like his beard youre probably thriving during this period 

During one of those late night walk dates, you guys came upon a small black cat under one of the benches. You barely even saw it with how dark it was, but you saw the glint of its eyes and went to investigate and saw a little kitten

He didn’t have a collar, and you didn’t see what could have looked like a momma cat or anything around, and you didn’t want to just leave the poor thing out there in the cold. So what did you and shouta’s dumb asses do? You adopted it. 

Even though cats aren’t allowed in dorms

But that wasn’t about to stop you guys - and you figured it would be better to keep the cat in shouta’s dorm because everyone was already used to hizashi being loud so you could excuse any meowing

Hizashi going “what the fuck guys, you’ve been dating for 4 months and you already have a kid? Smh my head” but he’s also a supportive uncle lmao he loves the kitten too

Oboro loves taking polaroids of you two and now you both have tons of photos of each other/you together in your rooms and its really cute - and also polaroids of your son too of course he’s part of the family

[greasygyeom]

Title: Blame it on Me [Part II: Where Do We Go From Here?]

By: GreasyGyeom

Summary: what is someone supposed to do when they have to choose between the love of their life and the career of their dreams.

Word Count: 9.2k

Yugyeom x Reader / Angst, smut (kinda)..more angst. (i use noona but just pretend it’s y/n)

Warnings: Mature content please read only if 18+

Author’s Note: i am back after two weeks this is a character development guys. hope you like part II !! if you do leave an ask or write in your tags. i love hearing from you guys! tell me if it made you feel something. if there’s spelling errors, let me know hahaha. love you guys and thank you for reading.

Read Part I here

Your night burnt by slowly, filled with explanations and fake acceptances of congratulations that everyone showered you with; that you had no interest in. The only reason you stayed awake was because you were hoping Yugyeom would actually come back. Little did you know he’d been so drunk BamBam had to let him pass out on the couch and keep a bucket right next to him; because if drinking had taught him anything, the amount Yugyeom had, he was bound to throw up. 

You, poetically so, had also passed out on the couch. It was hard to believe that in the afternoon you were in a relationship, getting fucked out of your mind and by night you were single, bawling in your living room.

Still, he had to come back at some point, it was his house after all. How was he going to go to work without his clothes? BamBam for sure wasn’t going to let him stretch out his T-shirts.

Hanging onto that hope, you prepared breakfast in the morning, which unfortunately sat out cold until noon, while you face timed your best friend and let out all your pent up emotions.

She advised you to not hang onto the hope of him wanting to be with you for a few days extra. It wasn’t fair to him, because everything said and done, you were leaving. If there was a way around it, you would have done everything within your control to get that promotion without the transfer. Unfortunately the path you were going to take had been set in stone by your company. There was no space for any alterations left.

You didn’t want this to happen but really, what else were you expecting. This was never going to have a happy ending from the start.

Last week you’d wanted him to act like a douchebag so you could be bitter and cop out of being hurt over having to break up with the best guy you’d ever known. 

You finally understood why ‘be careful what you wish for’ was such a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

After your long distance chat, begrudgingly you got dressed for the office; even though you didn’t have to really go officially—you were off until you started at London next Friday—there was some paperwork that needed your signature. You wanted to get it over with so as to spend the next few days peacefully crying in bed.

Half-heartedly walking to the train station, you wondered if you’d even crossed Yugyeom’s mind since yesterday.

Maybe it was a bit selfish, but you wanted to know if he was thinking about you; or was it just you that was miserable.

He was.

Of course he was.

While he chugged a bottle of water, because his mouth felt like sandpaper, all he could worry about was how you were going to pack all your belongings in such a short amount of time, without forgetting the most important stuff; and how he was going to not lose his sanity over it. 

Ominously so, life had come such a full circle for him; because had your colleague not been a student at the academy, he would have never met you.

The work-life that brought you to him, ultimately took you away too. 

Funny how the universe works, right?

He’d drank so much alcohol the previous night in hopes of forgetting you that even an hour without your face swimming in his head would have been worth it. Yet, all night all he lamented about was how unfair it was that he was going to have to let you go.

His friend circle–that over time had also become your friend circle–had been made aware of the whole ordeal, so they knew what to expect. They were just surprised by the magnanimity of it. 

Yugyeom had never been heartbroken—at least to this extent. In the 10+ years of knowing him, he’d never expressed so many emotions in such little time to any of his friends. It was like witnessing a compressed pack of cocaine burst under high pressure; messy and not a good look for anyone.

When he woke up he already had a text from Jaebeom very sternly asking him to not come in to work until he got his shit together, several texts from Mark asking how he was feeling and to start hydrating his body immediately, and a whole essay from Jackson on how he should drop his tough guy act and be with you till it was time to go. 

He hated being called out like that.

Yugyeom: Hyung you’re supposed to be my friend and tell me I should forget her immediately. His text elicited an immediate response. 

Jackson: Listen you brat. I’m your friend that’s why I’m asking you to spend the last few days she is here with her. Because I know you and you’re going to regret this later.

Yugyeom: Tell me, how does it matter if she’s out of my life today or after five days?

Jackson: You won’t even try to stay in touch?

Yugyeom: No.

Jackson: Is that a mutual decision?

Yugyeom stopped replying after that, because now that he was sober, he was back to not being able to aptly express his feelings and he actually didn’t know the answer to that question. 

He’d thought about this so much yesterday, while in bed next to you. There was no expiration date on your time in London, there wasn’t even any guarantee that after London you’d come back—you could get transferred to anywhere in the world. That particular uncertainty had torn his heart into smithereens and had led him to end the relationship so abruptly. 

It had seemed logical yesterday.

Today? not so much.

You’d zoned out staring at a travel bag while window shopping. After your work was done you thought of giving retail therapy a shot, an endeavour that was proving to be extremely unsuccessful, for the lack of focus you were carrying with you.

A loud, screeching, honking bus on the road snapped you back to reality, but not really. You were still dazed and confused and within seconds wanted to go back home, wondering why you thought this was a good idea in the first place. 

You did buy three pastries and a venti on your way though, to devour your feelings once home. To discover that you’d forgotten how you lived life before Yugyeom and not understand how to combat it, was definitely taking a toll on you. The concept of being without him seemed so outlandish, it felt like a distant dream you might have had in your childhood. For now, until you found a way out of this maze, unhealthy coping mechanisms would have to do.

Truth be told, you were itching to call him. When it came to him, your ego was barely existent.

You were still plenty mad and wanted him to realise how stupid he was for not taking you up on the offer last night, of course, but you also wanted hear his voice equally badly, at the cost of him being unwilling to entertain you.

You had been postponing your urge every hour, since morning, because this time around you were reluctant to lose this battle; even though you’d already lost the war.

At 9am it was ‘Wait for another hour, maybe he’ll turn up.’ At 10am it became ‘Maybe I’ll stop by the studio’– but that was too much effort (and you were in no mood to face Jaebeom). When you were leaving for work, you baited yourself by saying you’ll call him after you were done at the office and currently you were convincing yourself to wait till you reached back home, so that at least when he ignored your calls, you could cry into a cup of tiramisu and feel better about it.

That thought was more comforting than it needed to be.

This awkwardness of not being able to wiggle your way into his life this time, was eating you inside, honestly. It’s not that you’d never had disagreements and fights before, where he’d left for Bam’s because he was too frustrated to even talk to you—in spite of him indulging his anger to a bare minimum, there had been plenty of those. But this was the only one time where saying sorry and promising to buy him chocoshakes for a week wasn’t going to cut it.

Along your route home, you bought more food—a full loaf of strawberry bread from the train station, some chips and a sandwich at the convenience store, a slice from the pizzeria nearby and finally your favourite fried chicken. Clearly, you had a lot of feelings to chew through and some days of solitude to chew them.

You hadn’t anticipated the struggle to get your apartment door to open, with all those packets hanging on your arms, trying not to spill any of the contents. What you also didn't anticipate was Yugyeom opening the door from inside, asking you to hand over some of the things you were holding.

You felt your system shut down like windows 98 being attacked by a trojan.

Was this real? Was this a delusion and you'd really just dropped everything on the floor? 

“Yu….gyeom?” You called out, afraid of not actually hearing an answer.

“Why are you still standing outside, noona?”

“Oh-uhm-I….” you fumbled, before closing the door. “This.. is-uh?? Hmm-what-what are you… doing here?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” He replied curtly.

You furrowed your brows accompanying it with frown lines on your forehead, indicative of the confusion you were unable to convey verbally. 

However, you chose not to question him further, not wanting to go wherever that interrogation would have taken you. You were more than content to see him move around at close proximity, even if it was in silence. 

There were plenty of places he could have gone, really, he didn’t have to be there if he didn’t want to; but he did want to. Oh god he’d wanted to see you so badly. More so than the hangover, it was a bizarre feeling in his chest, from the way he’d behaved with you last night, that had caused him discomfort all morning. That and Jackson’s messages. 

Was he really not even going to try to keep in touch? But then….. who likes to stay in touch with an ex? 

“Want some cake?” you asked, in an effort to dissipate the elephant in the room. “Or some other food? Pizza? You look like shit, you should probably eat something greasy.”

“You went and bought the whole shop didn’t you?” he raised his eyebrow. 

“I… did not. I was….. craving a lot of things.”

“You know, the only times you’ve bought so much food is when you’re sad about us fighting over something.”

“Well—I am sad,” you paused, “and we are fighting ... and this one seems to be the last one.”

“For now” he added and then immediately retracted his statement 

“I’m...I don’t know why I said that. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yugyeom... baby,”

When did you even get close enough to do that, he wondered, as you cupped his face.

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, you know?”

He put his arms around your waist and pulled you into a tender hug, because if he looked into your eyes any deeper he would have either kissed you or teared up; and neither was a good option to choose from.

“Noona will you promise me something?” he then asked, his words heavy and morose.

“Hmm?”

“Please try your best to forget me.”

You weren’t expecting that sentence to knock the wind out of your lungs, because you weren’t expecting to hear that sentence at all.

You broke away from him, tears accumulating against your will. 

“Did you come here to hurt me, Yugyeom?”

It felt like a sword was now ominously hung above your head, when you looked at him; and it could fall at any moment and sever your head.

“Don’t take this the wrong way. I just…. I don’t know. Don’t hold onto some irrational hope or something. That’s all I meant.”

“Irrational hope? Really, of what? Getting back together someday? You wanna get rid of me and move on so fast that you want me to forget you? Is that it?”

“Don’t twist my words. That’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“You think I don’t understand that this is the end for us?”

“Just ... leave it, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t have.”

“But I don’t want to be the reason you hold yourself back in London. That’s all.” He yielded, not wanting to make matters any worse.

“You know what…. I was wrong to think it would be a good idea to pretend like nothing’s changed until I get on the plane. You win.” 

The anger in your tone and your deadpan face made it very clear that you were not interested in holding a conversation about this, any further. “I’m gonna go start collecting my stuff. I should be out of your apartment and your life, by tomorrow evening.”

Before Yugyeom could react, you slammed the bedroom door shut and locked yourself inside.

One second later he was banging on the door frantically.

“Noona! Come on, open the door please.

Please, baby!”

He must have stood there trying to rotate the knob, begging you to let him inside, for at least fifteen minutes before giving up and sliding onto the floor.

This was turning out to be worse than his worst nightmare.

If he knew you at all, he knew you would want to come out to smoke soon. So he sat by the door, getting annoyed at himself for saying that and at you for taking it out of context.

Before coming here, he’d asked for Jinyoung’s opinion on whether this was a good idea or not; and Jinyoung had replied asking him to not do anything foolish. He had assumed Jinyoung meant going to his house to meet you was the foolish act. Dejectedly, he typed a text.

Yugyeom: Well…. I should have listened to you. I went to see her and you were right, it was a bad idea.

Jinyoung: when did I say that was a bad idea?

Yugyeom: you said not to do anything stupid

Jinyoung: yeah, I meant don’t go there and mess it up. I didn’t mean don’t go there at all. What did you do?

Yugyeom: oh…. nothing. 

Jinyoung: I can call her and ask.

Yugyeom: No! Fuck. please don’t do that. She’s already pissed at me.

Jinyoung: what did you do

Yugyeom: I asked her to move on

Jinyoung: huh?

Yugyeom: I don’t want her to get hung up on me and us and the maybes and what ifs when she's there. Because I know she will.

Jinyoung: and what about you? Are you going to try your best to forget her?

Yugyeom paused and stared at that question for a few minutes. No…. of course not, how could he want to forget you or anything about you. Even if every memory attached to you dug into his organs like shards of glass, he’d gladly take them all to his grave. 

Yugyeom: she doesn’t need to know if I do it or not.

Jinyoung: I’m glad God gave you the gift of dance because clearly intelligence and common sense are completely lost on you. 

Yugyeom: hyung i'm really not in the mood to be insulted right now.

Jinyoung: Jackson asked you to drop your tough guy act didn’t he? She doesn’t need you to protect her. She’s never needed anyone to protect her from anything. You should stop trying to save her from whatever it is that you think you’re saving her from.

Yugyeom: I’m not trying to do anything. I don’t want her to regret going to London.

Jinyoung: How is asking to forget you a solution to that? Say hypothetically she does forget you. In a years time she doesn’t give a fuck about what you meant to her. She meets someone else and starts dating, maybe even gets engaged. Would that make you happy?

Yugyeom: No. But she’ll be happy. 

Jinyoung: that’s your problem. You’re assuming that forgetting you and finding a new life would make her happy. 

Yugyeom: Well won’t it? Idk I just don’t want her to be hung up on us and if she gets stuck on it, I don’t think she will be. 

Jinyoung: You just said you don’t wanna move on so then why the fuck are you forcing it on her?

Yugyeom: hyung she doesn’t need to know how miserable I am. Without knowing that whenever she sees me she apologises to me. if she gets to know how much I want her to stay I’m scared she’ll turn down the promotion. She’s already thought about not going.

Jinyoung: let her make her own decisions? Right now you’re lying to her. I’m 95% sure she’s pissed because you’re trying to act unfazed by all of this.

Jinyoung: Just this one time, try to not bottle up how you’re feeling.

Jinyoung: tell her you have no interest in moving on. Be honest, man.

Jinyoung: and just saying, asking the ‘love of your life’, who calls you ‘the love of her life’, to forget you after 12 hours of breaking up is a shitty thing to do. She should have kicked you in the balls. 

He typed up a stingy reply to that but, before he could send it, the sound of you unbolting the door from inside distracted him. Hurriedly, he stood up, to catch hold of you. 

“Yugyeom, leave me alone. You got what you wanted?”, you spoke frostily.

“Are you going to smoke?”

“Are you going to stop me?”

“No.. But I wish you’d hear me out. Let me say my piece and if you’re still pissed, I’ll leave. I promise.”

After opening the window sill and lighting your cigarette, you waited for him to start. Your face was red and hurting from crying so incessantly, but you were determined to not let your emotions get the best of you, in front of him. At least, not right now. 

“When I asked you to forget me, I didn’t mean… you know, erase me from your memory or whatever. I meant give yourself a proper chance at happiness, when you’re there.”

You gave him no expressions.

“Like… I’m not dying to move on. This is killing me. I don't want us to come to an end. I even thought of giving long distance another shot… or like you know….maybe just keep in touch. But every time I thought about it, it was too painful. So I couldn’t ask you to do that because I…. didn’t wanna do that.” 

Saying that out loud made him realise how selfish he sounded. He continued his monologue when you wordlessly stood still and puffed away.

“I wanted to pretend like this isn’t hurting me, but I’m so miserable, noona. I don’t know how to live without you. I don’t even want to know how to live without you. But, I want you to live your life without me; which is hypocritical, I guess, but that’s why I asked you to forget me.”

“That’s really fucking unfair.” you interrupted. “You’re planning things for me without asking what I want. That’s not how it works. If I want to move on or not, is my decision. If I want to be miserable over you or not, is my decision. If I want to live my best life in London or not, again, is my decision. I have never loved anyone like I’ve loved you, Yugyeom; so what you asked of me was just cruel. I know I want to live in a fantasy until I have no option but to accept the outcome. I know it’s not a good way to deal with things. How could you even think  that forgetting you would ever be an option?

“I’m sorry” he pursed his lips and looked at the floor.

“When I said we have five more days, I wanted to play pretend. I was just trying to live in this denial bit longer. 

“Then… can I live in that denial with you?”

“No, I’m sorry, I gotta pack and hand over the house to the owner by tomorrow.”

“I’m sure the owner will understand if you’re delayed by a day or two or four.”

“I’m tired of running around in circles with you man”, you sighed. “No matter how this turns out, I will never not love you. Maybe in ten years time you’ll be with some other girl and I’ll be with some other dude, even then I will probably, in some capacity, still love you. And I get it if you don’t want to feel the same way, you don’t have to. But don’t ask me not to.”

“Thinking about you with someone else really fucking hurts.” he admitted, feeling a knot tighten in his throat.

“It hurts me too but you’re the one so fucking adamant about moving on like it’s gonna happen in 2 days.”

“Are you still angry?”

“Yeah, of course... but I can let it slide if you promise to forget about me.” 

“Haha very funny.”

You chuckled and he wasted no time in giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“The only thing I can promise you is that I’ll love you till I die.”

“No one is dying, baby.”

“Without you, I just might.”

“Jaebeom won’t let that happen, you’re the second reason his studio has clients.”

“What’s the first?”

“Jaebeom, obviously.”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes at you. “He’s going to have to be the only reason, till next week because I’m stuck to you till you get on that plane.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m not letting you leave that room for the next 100 hours, starting now.”

He didn’t give you much time to process his words, as he picked you up to take you into the bedroom. You tried to fake-protest to the best of your capabilities, but truth be told there was no better feeling than hiding your face in the crook of his neck; while he effortlessly carried you in.

Making his intentions for the night perfectly clear, he took off his shirt.

“Wait-wait-wait!” you yelped, pinned under his lithe form. “All the food is on the table, I'll be damned if that Tiramisu goes to waste. I’ll be back in five.”

“Make it three.”

“Okay baby.”

Then you kissed him on the nose and ran out.

Since your last reconciliation, you'd spent most of your time in bed, mostly without clothes, wrapped in Yugyeom’s arms; savouring every kiss, every touch, trying to save these ending moments in your memory, so you could replay them over and over again at the end of this week when all this would inevitably be over. Your departure was three days away and the fact that you were still unpacked was beginning to weigh down on you heavily. You were at a point where you couldn’t really avoid it any more; even though it was antithetical to the denial you’d built your cozy house in.

As much anxiety you had regarding leaving and not wanting to deal with that, there was an equal amount of anxiety related to not being prepared ahead of time. It was a lose-lose situation either way, with consequences that weren’t susceptible to change. So, you decided to rip the bandaid completely, to avoid running around like a headless chicken at the last minute.

You didn’t have to deal with the furniture, at least, because even though some of it was bought together, Yugyeom owned the apartment. You just had to sort through your clothes and products.

He wasn't the most excited at the thought of seeing you empty out the house. 

“Do you know your living situation in London?” he asked, trying to hold up a conversation.

“Yeah…they’re giving me a furnished apartment as part of the deal.”

“Wait no rent?”

“Uh-huh”

“Woah that’s amazing.” The lack of excitement completely contradicted his statement. “And who’s gonna help you set up and stuff? Won’t you need help?”

“Uhm... mum’s already gonna be there when I land. Not at the apartment, obviously, but…. in London.”

“Aah. Ok ok. It’ll be good, you haven’t seen your parents in a long time”

“Hmm I guess.”

“And your visas and shit?”

“Yeah my passport’s with the company, they’ll sort it all out and hand it to me on the day of the flight.”A

Yugyeom felt like he’d accidentally stepped on an emotional land mine. 

He was already gutted about seeing his closet empty, and now hearing your monotone voice just upset him even further. But he didn’t want to show how sad this was making him either, because then you would probably cry.

It was really frustrating.

He quickly made up an excuse to leave for a bit. “Is it okay if I go to the studio, Jaebeom hyung needs me to sort through some assessments. But if you need me to stay, I’ll tell him something.”

”No, it’s okay. I have to face time Ishi anyway. I haven't spoken to her in a hot minute. And Jae has been more than patient this past week. I’ll try to be done soon too. It’ll probably take me 4-5 hours.”

Oh.

 “I’ll definitely be back by then.”

“Or… maybe I can meet you at the station and we can go to Naksan?”

He gave you an affirmative forced grin, kissed you on the forehead and headed to the studio to redirect all the aggression he was so suddenly full of.

Just knowing that you’d be leaving a giant gaping hole in his life, was driving him nuts. He wasn’t sure if he could keep up his end of the bargain any longer. You at least would get to start over a new life, in a new place with new faces. But he was going to have to pick up pieces of his life that he knew you were about to leave behind shattered; and never look back at 

Your fragrance lingered in every corner of his apartment. His bathroom smelt like your shampoo, his closet smelt like your body spray and cigarettes, his bed.… how was he ever going to exorcise your memories out of his bed? His king size bed that had not seen a dip on the right side up until you had waltzed into his life. Everything was going to remind him of you. His favourite restaurants, clubs, hideaways—it was overwhelming him. 

“Aah fuck” he mumbled to himself, absent-mindedly walking into the studio - much to Jaebeom’s surprise.

“I thought you weren’t coming in?”

“She’s packing. I’ll break something if I have to sit through it.”

“Don’t break anything here.”

“Maybe my bones.”

“The third room is empty.”

He was barely going to be able to concentrate on whatever choreography he was going to try, but he acknowledged Jaebeom and locked himself inside.

Jaebeom also felt rather incompetent to handle the situation, since he’d never seen this volatile and mostly upset side of Yugyeom. So he just let the kid do whatever he wanted to. No one knows what to do until you actually start doing it, right? Jinyoung would probably disapprove of this philosophy, but he wasn’t there to voice his objections, so too bad!

When dancing, Yugyeom barely ever understood the concept of time, so between choosing a song, researching some new styles, to mentally animating the possible formations, 4 hours flew by. He yelped and hurriedly ran to his phone, hoping he wasn’t already late.

You sighed heavily at the other end of the call “no... I’m still working through the pile. It’s probably going to take me two hours more.”

“It’ll be too dark to go to Naksan then.”

“Yeah…. I guess. Just come home?”

“It’ll take me some more time at the studio though.”

“That’s okay, take your time. It’s a mess here anyway.”

“Hmm… I’ll see you later then, noona.”

And he went back to focusing on perfecting the new moves, even harder than before, because otherwise your voice would keep ringing in his ears. He could hear how disheartened you already sounded and he wanted to be there for you, but he had to take care of his own feelings first, before he could take care of yours.

He didn’t know he could feel such a foul mood, but that’s what his days had recently been made of. All he’d done was get blackout drunk, fight and then fuck; this wasn’t a routine he recognised at all.

It was almost nine in the night when he entered the house, fully expecting to see you still having a rough time with a mountain of clothes next to you. Surprisingly, he found you passed out next to an empty cup of coffee.

He peeked inside the bedroom and his eyes immediately went to the two giant suitcases stacked in the corner and a cardboard box balanced on top of them.

His closet now housed his bare minimum collection of T-shirts and sweatpants and the bathroom was entirely stripped of its former glory. It was depressing. He took a quick shower and considered slumping onto the bed, knowing full well he should wake you up and make you eat something.

Who was going to feed you actual healthy food in London, with him not around? Because if you had it your way, you’d call a bag of chips dinner and call it a day.

He tried with everything he had, to not care about it and went back into the bedroom, fully determined to go to sleep. Perhaps it was his frustration towards the situation that was garnering such a petty reaction. But then he thought about it for five minutes more and felt like an absolute asshole. Why was he taking this out on you? It’s not like you deliberately caused it. It’s not even like he wanted you to stay for him.

He shook his head almost aggressively, as if trying to physically shake off the bad thoughts and went back out, to do what he actually should have done as soon as he came home.

You’d fallen asleep in the most haphazard position; your head resting on your arms on the kitchen island top, and your body stretched out on the chair. It didn’t look comfortable whatsoever.

He nudged you gently, “noona?”

You barely even stirred.

“Wake up, baby”. The butterflies he gave you, at such close proximity, made you open your eyes. 

“What time is it?” you groaned, lifting your head the slightest bit.

“It’s almost 10.”

You did a little cat stretch. “Did you just get back?”

“No... it’s been a bit, I took a shower and everything”.

“Oh… okay. I was planning on taking a bath too” you trailed off, yawning through the rest of the sentence.

“I’ll make something for us till then.”he replied, thinking about what they could eat, but his chain of thought was disturbed by a phone call.

“Oh hyung, yo.” you heard him say. His energy seemed so low.

“Wait right now? I don’t know hyung.”

Inquisitively you tilted your head and he handed you the phone. The quota of patience he had for the day was very low. 

You could see Jackson’s name on the screen and you greeted him accordingly.

“You wanna chill here?” You repeated, simultaneously gesturing to Yugyeom about his thoughts on the matter at hand. 

He shrugged indecisively and you came to the realisation that you hadn’t actually thought of when you’d say your final goodbyes to Jackson, or in fact anyone else except for Yugyeom; so now seemed like as good a time as any.

“Yeah cool, how long will you take?”

With his patience running on thin ice, the man standing in front of you frowned, but you pretended to not notice it. Instead, you stretched and headed for the shower, avoiding his gaze. Yugyeom’s energy was all over the place and you were lowkey glad you wouldn’t have to deal with it by yourself.

You thought about planning your day tomorrow and meeting at least some of the people you cared about. What you hadn’t expected was Jackson bringing most of those people to you.

Half an hour after the phone call, your living room was at full capacity. It wasn’t even that many people honestly, just your usual hang-out group - a mixture of your and Yugyeom’s combined friend list, but your living room looked full. 

Yugyeom was even more displeased than before, but managed to hide it by holding onto a bottle of beer, like it was crucial to his existence.

“He didn’t say he was coming with…. everyone.” You sheepishly expressed. 

“It’s fine. At least you get to meet most of your friends.”

“Yeah I guess, i was just thinking about it.”

You get distracted by a hand on your shoulder, “thinking about what?” Bambam asked

“Meeting some people before leaving.” You repeated.

“Ooh depressing.” 

“That’s one way to look at it.” You gave him a deadpan stare, unimpressed by his poor timing.

Yugyeom took the opportunity to wander off to his other friends, most of whom were gathered around the table of food, in front of the TV.

Some random nonsense movie was playing that Mark and his girlfriend were really invested in. He considered sitting next to them but he was not sure when they’d start making out, so he parked himself next to Jaebeom instead. His head was heavier in that moment than it had been in the morning, when he’d left. He couldn’t leave right now though, Jackson would beat his ass.

So he settled for eating silently and drinking slowly, in his little corner.

Meanwhile, you were trying to keep up a brave face. Jackson had already repeated himself at least thrice, saying how much he was going to miss you and it was getting more and more difficult to hold your tears. 

Taking a large gulp of the wine you had in your hand, you told him you were going to miss him a lot too and gave him a partial hug.

There was no scope of hiding from the reality of the situation anymore.

Two days later no one in this room was going to physically be a part of your life. Just two days. All you wanted to do was find Yugyeom and bury your head in his chest, like the ostrich that you were.

You took in some really deep breaths and poured yourself more booze, in the hopes of turning it around and becoming chipper.

Inevitability should be accepted or else life begins to feel like a drag…. no?

Alcohol made it a lot easier for you to bury the sadness that came with your unofficial ‘bon voyage’ celebration. A part of you was also suddenly scared to approach Yugyeom. You studied his face carefully, discreetly, while seated on the couch. Get togethers usually made him hyper, yet here he was looking into his phone like he was studying for a phd degree.

Even though there was an overwhelming urge to go and talk to him, you decided against it. If he wasn’t feeling some type of way, he would not have isolated himself like that and you knew you were partially to blame for it 

You indulged in more cocktails, talked to your friends and somewhere in the middle of all this chatter, Jackson, for the nth time commenced a relay of toasts addressed to you. Really on brand of him to talk about his feelings like that but because you were caught so off-guard you started crying.You weren’t prepared for this kind of emotional haranguing.

Yugyeom hated every minute of it. He didn’t want to hear over and over again that you were leaving, or see you cry. He should have declined Jackson’s proposition when he had the chance to, but now he had to deal with long speeches almost all of which included him too. He felt his lungs constrict like he was about to drown. Jaebeom gave him a comforting pat on the back and passed him a new bottle of soju. 

From time to time he looked at you but avoided eye contact. He knew he should have been next to you, hugging and comforting you, he just couldn’t bring himself upto the task. It was that same resentment he had felt earlier today that made him respond in this fashion. All he wanted was this night to end and for everyone to leave. But then again, maybe this was better because he didn’t have to be alone with you. 

You cried for a good hour while everyone told you they were going to miss you. There were long hugs and accelerating levels of inebriation involved. You promised to text everyone back because at that moment you had no proper words to say and you wanted to tell them all so much. 

By the time you crossed your threshold of tipsy to near blackout drunk, it was almost daybreak. The sun was just beginning to peek at you from behind the mountains. 

Yugyeom was in a worse shape than you, so Jackson and Jinyoung decided to clean up a bit, as your parting gift; trying to rope in Bambam in.

“No way. I know what’s coming after she leaves. I deserve a break before donning my emotional clean up crew role.”

“Don’t lie, you’re both just going to drink.” 

“Yes and drown him in his sorrows. This is how you clean out emotions. He’s gonna drink and cry.”

“That’s the worst way to deal with anything.” Jackson rolled his eyes

“Hyung…. you work out and write music, he drinks and dances. It’s not really all that different.”

“It’s not the same either though. If I feel something I don’t carry it with me. All he does is let it eat him until he forgets it or explodes.”

Can you debate about this later and help me carry him to the bedroom?” Jaebeom interrupted. 

Jackson handed the empty bottles to Jinyoung and got to the task of shifting Yugyeom’s large body from the couch.

“Just him?” Bambam asked

“I already tucked her in,” Jaebeom replied. “We should get out of here soon.”

“Yeah, I still have to go to work. Can’t believe Youngjae and Mark left me alone.” Jinyoung complained, trying to make as little noise as possible while trashing the garbage.

With a lot of difficulty, Jackson was able to plonk Yugyeom on the bed. Jaebeom studied you both before heaving a sigh. The peaceful look on your faces was not an accurate testament to your respective behaviours prior to passing out. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He kept a trash bag and a bottle of water each near your nightstands before leaving. 

At least he could hope that when you wake up, you’d feel better.

... You didn’t.

The splitting headache you were experiencing was really on another level when combined with your sandpaper mouth. Thankfully things were conveniently placed around you because if you had to walk to the kitchen to drink water right now you'd rather die of thirst than get up. Your attention turned to the man next to you, his porcelain skin tempting you to kiss him or at least stroke his face, but you resisted. 

You finished the whole bottle and gently lowered yourself back into the bed, lying awake with throbbing pains radiating from various places. 

Yugyeom made a cute sound in his sleep, making your heart jump. It was nearly impossible to not want to scoot closer to him. He hadn’t given you a hug in all of twenty four hours and you were already about to lose your mind.

How you were going to survive without him was really beyond your comprehension.

You just lightly touched your fingers to his palm and closed your eyes, hoping you’d fall back to sleep. The next thing you knew he had one arm around you and was pulling you into his chest; aligning his body with yours. His soft breaths landing on the back of your neck, making you shiver.

“Feeling okay?” He asked in his hoarse, morning voice. 

“Hmm…”

You could feel his lips moving against your skin as he spoke, making you melt in his embrace. Your heartbeat accelerated and he held onto you even tighter. 

Melancholy hung in the air, much like Christmas decorations in December; he could feel it. Your legs intertwined and he heard a faint sob.

There was nothing he could say that would change the atmosphere. It was time to burst the bubble, so he let you cry, and he cried too.

Head buried in your back, he whispered, “noona…. please will you leave a hoodie of yours with me?”

You nodded and kissed his hand. 

“I love you.” He said and the both of you went back to sleep. 

It was almost evening when he finally woke up. You weren’t in bed anymore, his head was hammering to a tune of it’s own, in spite of having medicated in the morning, and his body was craving water. Staggering, he made his way to the kitchen and found you in a semi-messy situation with cooking paraphernalia all over the counter.

“Oh? What is happening here”. It sounded like he was concerned but he was really only a bit confused. 

“making some sandwiches.”

“Suddenly? Why? We could have just ordered.”

“Yeaaah I don’t know, just felt like it.”

He smiled, because you looked so cute in that apron. His mood was foul but looking at you made it better. He chugged some water while you emptied the pan and he was overcome with the urge to hug you.

You were caught off-guard when he put his arms around you, but you reciprocated his gesture. It was difficult for you to look him in the eyes because you weren’t sure if, for the hundredth time, you'd end up crying. He cupped your face and nudged you to see him, the sincerity in his face…. all the love he wanted to shower you with right then.

He kissed you slowly, taking his time to taste the light traces of your strawberry lip balm. You didn'’t know what spells he used to get you turned on so fast. Threading your fingers with his hair, you deepen the kiss. The urgency that took over him was maddening. He wanted you right now, which he made abundantly clear when he slipped his left hand under your T-shirt and began caressing your boobs; his other hand gripping your hair and pulling it sharply. 

There was air caught up in your lungs as he kissed your neck, like you’d temporarily forgotten how to breathe. Low moans began to escape your lips and you squeezed your thighs together. You were so wet, just with his mildly aggressive kisses.

He knew what he was doing to you when he felt your lower body clench and both his hands slid back down to grab your butt.

The kiss got sloppier as your focus dwindled to his boner, your fingers already caressing it over his sweatpants. He bit your lip in response, pushed you against the kitchen island and aimed to remove your clothes. You were still in your flannel and shorts from the night before, so he fumbled a bit on the buttons. His accuracy was failing him because you weren't stroking him over the sweatpants anymore; he could feel your hand sliding over his skin, purposefully slow and tender. His eyes were barely open, your lips were still locked and he was trying to get you naked without actually seeing what he was doing. He grunted helplessly when you touched the tip of his cock. Wet sounds of you stroking his length, mixed in with his shallow breaths and moans, filled the kitchen. 

He nibbled on your neck, as your movements accelerated. With your non-dominant hand you tried your best to remove his sweatpants, but he stopped you.

“Turn around.” He whispered, pulling your hand away. The way he seduced you with his demanding voice and bedroom eyes, you gave in without a fight. You bucked your hips and grabbed the closest edge of the marble top. He bit your neck, gently sucking at the skin caught between his lips, until it looked bruised and then he moved on further down, while dry humping your ass, one hand firmly placed on your waist. A small gasp escaped your lips when his fingers slipped inside your panties. Automatically, you spread your legs wide, to let him access the delicate parts. 

He could smell your shampoo mixed in with your intoxicating scent and it was sending him over the moon as he played with your wet and sensitive clit.

“Good girl” he praised, when you pushed your ass further into his boner, craving to feel it bare.

You hummed, his thin and long fingers dancing to the tune of your arousal. He fingered you slowly and deliberately, and it was excruciating. 

It was the last time he was going to get to feel you. Tomorrow you'd be gone. It made him angry and sad. It made him desperate. 

You could feel his aggression in the way his lips collided onto yours with force, the way his nails dug into your skin, the way his body was stiff and wrapped around you in a solid cage.

His hold on you tightened and he spun you around again, to face him. He wanted to make sure you never forgot how he made you feel; so that no other man would ever be enough for you because he set that bar up so high. He wanted to spoil the idea of being pleased again by anyone else, for you. Maybe it was toxic to think that way, but he was already letting go of you.

He had no choice but to let go of you. The train of thought he'd gotten on made his brain short circuit and switch off. He wasn't aroused anymore and everything was blurry and confusing. Before he could stop himself, he took a step back.

“Don't leave me, noona.” He said in a small voice, looking at the floor.

The words crash on you like a violent wave. 

You wished he'd stayed looking at the tiles, because when he looked up, you felt the guilt of having accidentally run over a puppy. There was sadness and shame and anger and you didn't know which emotion to address first.

“Yugs….”

So many words swirled in your brain but your lips were sewn shut.

“So, I guess that's a no.”

“What are you trying to do, Yugyeom?”

“Oh well, It was worth a try.” He chuckled, rather bitterly.

What else was he expecting would happen.

Life is not a movie scene; the girl doesn't quit on her career for the boy, in real life. But was it valid for him to feel the sting that persistently worsened as you two stood opposite each other uncomfortably? He knew this was going to happen. He chose it with you. Hell, he chose it for you even. While he was trying to rationalise his own resentments, you straightened yourself up and started putting the buttons of your shirt back in place. 

“I don't know what you want to hear from me, Yugs. You know I don't want to leave you. And you don't want to come with me.”

Shit, that stung him even more.

“I have to leave for the airport in 12 hours so do we have to be like this?” You asked defeatedly. 

He shook his head and you extended your arms, waiting for him to fall into them.

“I'm really sorry we have to end this way.”

In his experience, there was no safer feeling than being held by you, but right now it was the root cause of all the knives ruthlessly jammed in his chest.

Nonetheless, he hugged you and exhaled pure agony.

“I'm gonna go take a shower. Maybe afterwards, if you feel like it, we can go get some drinks?” You asked cautiously.

“Yeah… I’d like that” he lied, as he let go. Truth be told, he couldn't look past the multiple ‘last times’ anymore. The last time he could hug you, the last time he could fuck you, the last time he could hear your voice… he couldn't do any of it. He didn't want to do any of it. He didn't want this for the last time. He heard you close the door to the bathroom and started fixing his appearance however he could, grabbed his wallet and phone and headed out. If he stayed in that house for a second more he felt he'd choke and die. He was trying to run away from the toxic fumes his own thoughts were emitting, and there was nowhere to hide from them, so he tried to leave them behind. 

His brisk walk turned into a sprint and then he ran as fast as he could towards the subway station. And just like that he vanished into the sea of anonymity, nowhere to be found.

Four hours had gone by since you'd come out of your shower to a deserted house and a singular message from Yugyeom. “Sorry noona, I can't do this.”

it felt like a cruel déjà vu.

His phone wasn't reachable. Bambam had no idea, neither did Jaebeom. You were much too confused to react in any appropriate manner.

“He left” You said to Jaebeom, who was equally confused and infuriated.

It seemed like you'd already connected the dots as to Yugyeom’s unavailability but a part of you was holding onto some hope.

“I'm sure he's gonna show up dude.”

“I have to leave in like 3 more hours. He wouldn't have left if he planned to show up.”

“He's definitely not at Bam’s?”

“Jae…. unless I was being lied to, he's not there. And i don't think Bam has any reason to do that.”

“Okay. Keep me posted.”

“Yeah” you sighed. 

You were neither angry, nor sad and you had good reason to experience both those emotions at once, but the way your brain had switched itself to autopilot, everything had just become a matter of necessity. 

You tried Yugyeom’s number once again, and weren't even surprised anymore when you heard the automated switched off message. 

While scanning the room your eyes fell upon your suitcases and your heart dropped 6 feet further than where it was already at.

You had to leave soon.

The silence had already been gnawing at your sanity, now it was overpowering guilt because if you had just said no, none of this would have happened. If you had just said no to the promotion. If you had tried harder for Seoul. If you had chosen to stay when Yugyeom asked you to, then the chain of events would have been different. Maybe, if he'd not run away from this whole situation you could have figured out a solution. But he wasn't here and you were running out of time.

A high pitched buzzer cut through the atmosphere, giving you a jump scare. For a second you thought maybe it was Yugyeom, but why would he need to ring the bell.

You saw Jackson's silhouette in the little alarm system by the door and sighed. 

“You look so unhappy to see me.” He huffed, when you greeted him dryly.

“Gee Jackson, sorry I'm upset about Yugyeom literally bailing on me when I have to leave in an hour.”

“Wait what? He's not back?” 

“No…..i don't know where he is.”

“And he's still not answering?”

“I tried about 50 times, it's off. Anyway, how come you're here?” 

It was comical how distraught you were internally and how inept you were at translating your emotions externally. The way you were talking, no one would think you were in this sad sad situation of leaving your life behind to start a new one.

“You don't remember asking me to drop you off?”

“Was I drunk?”

“Well…. tipsy maybe?”

“I was definitely drunk. I don't remember any of it. But, I'm glad you're here.”

“Are you…. packed?”

“Yeah, I just got the last batch of clothes I need to shove in.”

“Cool. You have anything to eat?”

“I made some sandwiches in the evening. Have at it.”

You were trying your best to be normal. A few minutes later Bambam and Jaebeom arrived as well, both without any worthwhile news of Yugyeom.

“I'm gonna kill him when I see him.” Jaebeom raged.”this is very childish.”

“It's fine man…. i know why he just vanished. It's okay. I'm not mad.” 

“Bro are you…. Hearing yourself?”

“Very clearly. He was never good with confrontational emotions. He didn't want to see me leave so he left. It's not rocket science.” 

“You went through your stages of grief really fast with this one.” 

“I didn't have an option.” you looked at the three of them sitting around you “So…. are all of you taking me to the airport?”

“Yeah, duh.” Bambam countered.

“Okay then wait for me in the car, I need to say bye to the house.”

“And you can't do that in front of us?” 

“Would you rather get uncomfortable watching me cry?”

Honestly, you were just prolonging it, the actual act of leaving. You felt so heavy when Jaebeom rolled your suitcases out. In passing you looked at your two favourite hoodies you'd left on the bed and it took everything out of you to not have an emotional breakdown right at that moment.

It was difficult, leaving was difficult especially without Yugyeom. You were in denial of your feelings but you were so angry at him but also so sorry towards him, your emotions kept cancelling each other out. You just wanted to hug him one last time and get the closure you were hoping to get but he took that option away from you. In your three year relationship, this was maybe the most cruel he’d ever been with you. But it was over now. This chapter was done, even with all of its loose ends.

You took your time saying your final byes to three of the most important people you'd met in Seoul. It was quite impressive that you didn't burst out in tears, even when Bam and Jae almost did. There was a part of you that was distracted by a hope that he'd be at the airport to see you off. When he wasn't at the main gates, you hoped he'd be there at check-in. While walking towards your departure gate you kept an eye out, hoping to catch a glimpse of his smile. You just wanted to say goodbye. But he never came. You sat glued to your spot, because what if he did try to find you and you weren't there. You boarded your flight at the very end. You gave an imaginary him all the imaginary chances you could, to materialise and tie a neat ribbon around your life in Seoul.

But your flight took off and the last shred of hope you had snapped and so did you.

Because life isn't a movie. Just like the girl doesn't leave her career, the boy doesn't run through the airport either. 

[adoregoldenharry]

Wrong People Sometimes

A/N: Kinda of stuck in a lot of places right now. Trying to get a few negative thoughts out of my head onto here. Please let me know what you think. lots of love. [not my gif]

Have you ever been in love? 

Have you ever felt like meeting the one person that you know in your heart is the last person you will every romantically lay your eyes on?

That was how I felt.

The two of us were singers in a world of media and heartbreak. In a overcrowded city with too many cars, and too much pollution. The city of cameras and red carpets. The city of rumors and regulations, according to where exactly you lived.

In this city I met Harry. He was one of the purest people I had ever met. I mean that mentally of course. I had heard things about him and how experienced he was and that he was no stranger to females in the industry. I didn’t like to look at him from that angle. The same one in which everyone looked at him. He was more than that and I knew it from the moment we both saw each other. 

I had met him at a small cafe in Los Angeles where I lived. I was aware he lived there too but I just had never seen him previously. 

I remember walking in prepared to order some drink my friend from yoga had been boasting about since our first class. I ordered rather quickly that day hoping not to be seen by anyone because I was tired of trying not to break my body in my morning yoga class. I turned to move out of the way and bumped into someone swishing their coffee from their hands onto the floor. 

“I am so sorry, oh my gosh,” I blabbered while reaching for some napkins nearby as I had gotten some of his now spilled drink on his shirt. I felt so bad for ruining this mans nice and very stylish tee shirt. “Don't worry about it love its fine,” a deep voice rumbled through the man. Whether he was singing or having a normal conversation most people would be able to tell who he was. I sure was able to. 

“Harry? Harry Styles?” I spoke lowly, not trying to blow anyones cover.

He looked around and then back to me nodding. “Yeah, wait a second. You’re Y/N, I love your new album it’s fucking amazing. Shit sorry,” Harry apologized. I giggled and stuck my hand out to him. 

“Thanks, I love yours as well.” He grinned and showed off his immaculately shaped dimples.

We had a short conversation outside after I insisted on buying him a new drink to which he continued to refuse. I bought it for him anyway. We talked a little bit about our busy schedules and upcoming plans for our careers. Something us celebrities usually did upon seeing each other in public, weirdly enough. 

After about fifteen minutes we had given out numbers and promised to keep in touch. We absolutely did that. 

For months to come we had hung out multiple times every month. From dinners to movie nights in on the couch. Harry was my breath of fresh air. He was the person I chose to spend all of my extra time with and he did the same with me. Or so I had hoped anyway. He was always the first to call and ask if we could see each other. It made me feel like he cared and he wanted me like I had eventually wanted him. 

Speculation occurred in the media after so many photos of the two of us spending all this time together circulated. His fans jumped right on it trying to dig up anything they could. Both of us stayed rather quiet about our friendship. We thought it was a little humorous to see what everyone would come up with. 

“Wont you just come with me please Y/N. It will be so much fun,” Harry whined. I rested my hands on my hims with a smug smile on my face. It had been about a year and half since the beginning of our close knit friendship. 

“Harry I can't, I have to finish up the last couple of tracks at the studio.” I watched his face twist into a pout, making me giggle. He was like a little puppy that wouldn't take no for an answer. He would always do this. Make me drop everything for him, yet I always let it slide. 

“Please baby,” Harry whimpered. I tensed up at his words. He had never used that pet name before. Mostly because we have a platonic relationship and because he just hadn't. “Harry I-”

 I looked at him before I could finish my sentence I saw that adorable, pleading look on his face. I sighed and nodded. To which Harry jumped up from the couch dancing around my living room carpet. “You are such a doofus.” I agreed to go with him on a two week long trip to Italy for a much needed getaway. Harry said I needed to go because he needed to show me something special he had come across last time he had been.

That two week vacation was everything with him. There was one night in particular that I would never forget but I wish I could. He had taken me around the beautifully lit streets of Venice during the night. We had a candlelit dinner in one of the fanciest restaurants between brick walls. 

Harry was acting weird that night. He was fidgeting and his hands would shake here and there. I asked him if he was okay and he told me ‘he would be’. 

After the dinner he led me to a small bridge. I leant against the railing looking down on the water where gondolas floated by with people sharing romantic moments. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. I smiled and brought my hand up to his hair playing with his curls. “Come on.” 

We walked down to the small dock. I gasped when I realized what we were doing. “Ready?” I nodded stepping in after him into the small boat. A man soothingly singing Italian tunes behind us while steering us down the canal. I giggled and clapped my hands together like a little girl. Harry chuckled at how excited I was. He placed his hand at my side and pulled me close into his side. I looked at him with big eyes. A smirk adorning his beautiful face.

His hand came up to my chin and pulled my face close to his. In a split second our lips met. The second they touched everything changed. I knew that and god did I love it, but I also feared it. 

I deepened the kiss and let him hold me. 

That night we had become different people. Now that I think of it, it was just me who had changed. We had officially become one that night. It all felt like a fever dream. My life felt perfectly made. I had the career, the money, and the man that I wished for all of my life. I felt like I filled what was missing. 

Every night after was like the last. We had come out as a couple not too long after Italy. Everyone seemed to have an idea that this would be coming with how much we had been hanging out before then. The internet ate us up with every moment from when we stepped out of our houses together. Pictures of us slapped onto the internet from all over I smiled every time I saw a cute picture of us smiling and holding hands. 

I thought I was in love.

“That’s not where you said you were going,” I huffed. Harry sighed and raked his hands through his hair. “Not this again Y/N.”

“Why not, you drill me about other men. Why can I not do the same?” I took a sip of my water in a glass. Harry was becoming visibly more frustrated with my interrogation. He was pictured roaming around LA with one of his exes. I would not have a problem with it as long as he had told me about it. Yet he decided to ignore the thought I guess. 

“Jus’ please get over it okay. It’s done, what do ya want me to do? Text you about it now? I presume not,” Harry stomped to the kitchen. Heading toward the fridge to put his now leftovers away from his secret lunch. “I just don't understand what was so hard about sending me a quick text. I had food made for us here as well. Would’ve saved the serving for another time.”

“Fuck Y/N sorry okay!” Harry shouted making me jump and drop my glass. It shatters all over the floor. I mutter and ‘shit’ and bend down to pick up the shards with a towel laying on the counter. Harry bent down helping me clean up the mess. “I think I'll just head back home now,” I grabbed keys from the dinning table heading towards the door. 

“No Y/N wait.” I ignored him gently shutting the door behind me. 

Things only got worse from that day. We didn't speak for about two weeks. I was hurt that he didn’t try and contact me all that time. I didn't try to call him either but I assured myself it was because I was busy with my next album. I was missing one more song. I was having the worst writers block. 

It was a Friday night and I had been surfing through entertainment channels. I stopped upon one of the more popular ones. They were talking about the latest behind the scene montages for new movies. I hadn’t been paying much attention until they started a new story. 

“Has the world’s most loved former boy band singer found another romance? What happened with him and Y/N L/N?”

My heart stopped. They showed pictures of Harry walking down a cobblestone path with a blond in an all too familiar place. One that I had been to months ago, with him. It was her. The one who he had seen at lunch two weeks ago. I almost kept myself together until the next picture dissolved onto the screen. 

It was Harry and the girl on a small boat floating down the same canal that we shared our first kiss on. Silent tears fell down my cheeks. I wiped them quickly and sniffled. I stood up with my blanket wrapped around my shoulder. I grabbed my small black notebook and headed up my stairs to my bedroom to let the lyrics flow freely. 

I remember getting texts from Harry endlessly that same night. He had seen the news and he wouldn't stop calling. He send message after message saying that he was sorry. That he didn't know what he was thinking by taking her there. Harry said that he regretted every decision he had made that ever ruined us. 

I never replied to him. 

I turned off my phone and set it on my nightstand. 

He may have ruined us, but I wrote a song that would ruin him.

I guess I was never really in love.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Forty Six

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

November 13th, 1997

Emile ignored the jeering in the high school hallways. The bigots were not going to stop him from loving who he loved. Just because his dating pool was twice as large as some others, they were scared of him. That was okay, though. It just meant he had a lot more power than they could comprehend.

He sighed as he got to his locker to find someone had spray painted a three-letter slur on it. “Whatever,” he sighed. “Not like it matters.” Doesn’t mean it didn’t sting a little bit. But he definitely didn’t regret arguing with his health teacher about bisexuality. He would stand up for his identity over letting bigotry reign any day.

  October 20th, 2001

It was on a day where Emile was picking up Remy from work. Emile couldn’t help but wonder if Dick had planned this, lying in wait until both Emile and Remy were in the same spot so they could spend less time hunting them down. They walked out of Starbucks, chatting and laughing about something that Emile had all but forgotten about. But as they reached the parking lot in the back, Dick and four or five football players crossed their path on the way to Emile’s car. “Oh, right on time,” Dick said with a pleased smile. “These two are the ones. Aviators slapped me in the theatre, and Sweater Vest has been checking me out in the locker rooms.”

“Oh, honey, you wish,” Emile scoffed, crossing his arms.

Remy looked at Emile with surprise. “Emile,” he said in a low voice. “We can’t win this.”

Emile shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I won’t go down swinging.”

“Oh, you should listen to your boyfriend, Emile,” Dick spat. “It’ll be over so much faster if you don’t fight.”

“You make it sound like you’re going to attempt murder,” Emile said, looking down his nose at Dick. He wasn’t quite as big as the tallest of the football players, but he was tall enough to make most people think twice about bothering him. Unfortunately, Dick seemed to be especially stubborn. And he had backup. “You know that’s generally frowned upon, don’t you?”

Dick snarled and Remy looked between the two of them uncertainly. “Look. I said you could fight me, Dick,” Remy said. “I specifically told you to leave Emile out of this.”

“No can do,” Dick said with a false-apologetic shrug. “He’s the problem here, after all.”

“I’m the—?!” Emile sputtered. “I’m the problem?! I’m just trying to exist, and you’re the one who’s finding that offensive! I want to be able to go home at night to whoever I happen to love! And since I don’t love you, my being bisexual is none of your business! Nor is it anyone’s but mine and my friends’!”

One of the football players growled. “Enough chatter,” he snapped. “Square up, pansies, if you want a chance at seeing tomorrow.”

Emile’s hands balled into fists and he took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to make the first move. Making the first move meant this could be blamed on him. He waited, watching, and when the guy pulled his fist back, Emile ducked his swing and sucker-punched him. The guy staggered backward, groaning. “You know,” Emile said conversationally, “You probably shouldn’t mess with people you don’t know. Some of them might have had friends who took martial arts and taught them a thing or two.”

That only served to aggravate the others, and Emile turned to Remy, who was staring at him in shock. “Rem, might want to run.”

“No way,” Remy said. “If you’re staying, I’m staying. You’re not the only one who knows how to fight.”

Emile nodded, even though he admittedly worried. He knew that Remy wouldn’t have offered Dick his working addresses if he couldn’t fight a little, but they were going up against linebackers here. The only way to get out of this mostly unscathed would be to fight dirty, and Emile was decidedly not looking forward to that.

The linebackers stepped forward and Emile braced himself for the worst. He wished he could say that there was an epic fight scene, where he and Remy moved in time with one another and while they did take some of the hit, the others barely left a scratch on them compared to what Emile and Remy achieved. But that's not what happened. The first linebacker brought his fist back but before anyone could fight anymore, one of the workers ran out the back of the Starbucks, yelling, “Hey, break it up!”

She panted as she ran over and scolded the linebackers. “Just what do you think you’re doing, going after two guys who are obviously going to lose to you! I don’t care what they did to tick you off, but you don’t get to go around hitting people whenever you want!”

“They’re fags!” one of the linebackers explained.

“Are they now?” the woman scoffed. “That’s news to me, considering that one of them is my boyfriend!” She walked over to Remy and looked him over. “You okay?” she asked.

“Fine,” Remy said, sounding a little dazed as the woman cupped his cheek.

“What? But?! No! No, they’re dating each other!” Dick exclaimed.

“Two guys can be best friends without having to be gay,” the woman said, giving Dick a withering glare. “Frankly, I’m unimpressed with your behavior. Going after two guys like Remy and Emile, what’s the matter with you? They’re kind and would never dream of hurting a soul!”

Emile was catching on to what the woman was doing and he offered her a smile. “Thanks for sticking up for us,” he said.

“Of course, Emile, any time,” she said. She turned to the others, who were now getting agitated with Dick. “If I see any of you fighting back here again I’ll let the manager know and we can find out what she thinks of your behaviour!”

That seemed to successfully scare all of them, because it was no secret that the Starbucks here was where most college kids went to hang out, and no one wanted to get banned from the store. The linebackers dragged Dick off despite his protests, and the woman turned back to Emile and Remy. “Remy, you have to stop getting yourself into trouble with homophobes, there’s only so many times I can pretend to be your girlfriend.”

“I know, August,” Remy laughed. “But thank you for doing it this time. Seriously. I was worried.”

“You had every right to be, you both would have wound up getting seriously hurt if the fighting had continued beyond one sucker punch.” August looked at Emile. “And frankly, I’m surprised that you would even fight anyone, Mister Pacifist.”

“They were going to try and hurt Remy, and like you said, they were homophobes. I don’t tolerate homophobes,” Emile said with a shrug. “I don’t think we’ve properly met before?”

“Not officially, no,” August laughed. “I’m August, Remy’s work-best-friend, and officially done with the both of you.”

Emile laughed a little. “Yeah, well, we should be going anyway, so we can get out of your hair soon enough.”

August rolled her eyes. “That’s not the main issue here,” she said. “The main issue is the both of you getting into fights you can’t win. You have to pick your battles.”

“Dick was harassing Emile, I would not let that stand under any circumstances,” Remy said firmly.

“You also slapped Dick hard enough to send him sprawling to the floor, which is probably why he brought the linebackers out today.”

Remy shrugged. “Maybe so,” he allowed. “But all things considered, I think we’re doing okay. I mean, think about it. Dick is going to be painted as a liar to the football team now. They won’t back him up when he claims that someone is gay anymore. That saves a lot of people a lot of trouble.”

Emile sighed. “That really should not be your basis of ‘everything being okay,’” he pointed out. “Just not being harassed should not be ‘okay,’ it should be the bare minimum.”

“Oh, no, that’s not the only reason things are okay,” Remy said. “But you not being harassed and being able to go to your gym class without fear is kinda...reason to be happy. And if I have enough reasons to be happy, then things should be ultimately ‘okay.’”

“I’ll let you two continue this argument without me, off the property,” August said. “Go on, off with you both. We really don’t need anyone asking what happened that caused me to be out here for longer than ten minutes. Everyone could tell something was going to happen when Dick walked by with the football players, but no one needs to know about the details of this little skirmish, agreed?”

Emile and Remy both muttered agreements.

August smiled. “Good. Then get lost, knuckleheads!”

Remy laughed and dragged Emile to the car. Emile watched the girl walk back into the coffee shop. “That would be the August you talk about after work?” he asked.

“Yep, she’s the best,” Remy said with a grin. “Next to you, of course.”

Emile held a hand to his chest. “Oh, you flatter me,” he teased.

“No, seriously, Emile,” Remy said, grin softening into a genuine smile. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“What, I’m your manic pixie dream boy now?” Emile laughed.

Remy cackled. “Shut up!” he exclaimed. “I’m trying to be serious!”

Emile softly kissed Remy. “I know, my love,” he said.

“...Although, if you were going to be my manic pixie dream boy, we should dye your hair some ridiculous color. Like. Hot pink,” Remy said.

“Uh, no,” Emile laughed. “My bosses would kill me. Your blond hair is ideal for dying, but we’d have to bleach mine, let that sit for several days, then dye it, and if it winds up being super unhealthy, I’m screwed.”

Remy pouted. “What’s the point in being a manic pixie dream boy if you can’t dye your hair wild colors?”

“Well, I would argue I’m not a manic pixie dream boy,” Emile said. “But whatever. How about this: if I get my own therapy practice once I’m free from the whole...retail and college hell thing, and we’re still together, you can dye my hair hot pink with semi-permanent dye.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Remy warned.

Emile rolled his eyes. “I know.”

“And you still say it?” Remy asked.

Emile shrugged. “Well, I trust that you won’t like...ruin my career over it, and if I have my own therapy practice, no one can stop me from dying my hair but me."

“Oh, you have a lot of faith in me, Emile,” Remy said with a big grin as he got in the car.

Emile also got in and started it up. “Are you saying that you would misuse that trust for any reason?”

“Of course not!” Remy exclaimed. “I’m just appreciating the fact that you trust me. I didn’t think you would do that.”

Emile blinked, frowning. “You didn’t think I’d trust you?”

“What? I—no, that’s not what I meant. I mean...the amount of faith you have in me surprised me. After all, I’ve done some scummy things to you in the past.”

“But that’s the past, and you’ve always apologized. Sometimes repeatedly,” Emile said. “And you don’t make the same mistake twice. I’m firmly of the opinion that means you care for me, and therefore I can trust you. With little things and big things.”

Remy stared at him. Emile glanced over. “Rem, I’m not a mind-reader. What are you thinking?”

“I just...” Remy looked at Emile. “You...trust me. I can’t remember the last time someone did that. Not like...not like you do.”

“Other people trust you,” Emile said.

“Well yeah. Clara trusts me to not be a jerk, and Theo trusts me to treat you right, and Xavier trusts me to talk to Bea on my own nowadays. But...but you trust me beyond that. Your trust...it...I don’t know. You let yourself be vulnerable around me. You’d let me dye your hair and have it stay that color for months. You...you’re firmly of the opinion that I would never intentionally hurt you. Not that I ever would intentionally hurt you! But...to have someone trust that’s the case with me...well, Toby may have trusted me to not hurt him, but he knew me from when I was a really little kid and had my baby blanket taken away from me so I had to rely on Bones to help me get through the nights I couldn’t sleep. You got to know me when I was trying to break you. And yet...today...you still trust me.”

Emile looked over. “Yeah, I do,” Emile said. “You’ve shown me more than enough times that you’ll always have my back. I don’t believe you would hurt me intentionally or otherwise anymore.”

“Why?” Remy asked.

Emile shrugged. “Because I love you. Isn’t that reason enough?”

[liquorisce]

decisions, decisions pt 2

Fandom : Bleach 

Pairings : Ichihime (ft. some ichi x ishi bickering which we love around here)

Rating : T

Part 1

A/N: A few months ago I wrote a post-tybw-karakura-gang-finishes-high-school kinda thing called ‘decisions, decisions’  ft career choice discussions and orihime thinking of leaving town for uni. I wanted to write some more of that stuff and more ichihime pining obvs, so here it is. also i hate myself for not being able to participate in ichihimeweek2020, i suck, but anyway, ‘nuff with the nonsense, here’s the fic: 

(ps: pls be nice to me and like/reblog/comment or whatevs and tell me what u think, ily thx)

...

It’s five minutes to two, and Ichigo fought to stifle a yawn. The menacing five hundred pages of English grammar exercises in front of him wasn’t helping. 

“... Unbelievable,” he curses, slamming the book shut, much to the annoyance of his bespectacled classmate sitting across him. “Why the hell can’t they just teach us proper English in school?! I’m absolutely fucking positive that Honda-sensei didn’t mention more than three tenses in her class. And what kind of English lesson takes place in Japanese anyway?!” 

“... Quit your whining, Kurosaki. Some of us are trying to study here.” 

Ichigo fumed. By ‘some of us,’ Ishida was pointedly referring to just himself and the long-haired beauty sitting right opposite him, who, judging by her giggling at his outburst, welcomed his distraction. The same giggling that was contributing to the problem, contributing to Ichigo’s immense distraction since after dinner. 

“You’re not even human, Ishida,” he says dismissively. “Keigo’s literally made his bed on my dad’s couch, you can hear his goddamn snores, and Mizuiro left to ‘watch the stars’ with some new girl thirty minutes ago.” 

“You’re the one who invited us over to your place for an all-nighter group study session and you’re calling it quits before the sun is up? As expected, you’re weak.” 

He was right, this had been Ichigo’s idea, Yuzu had offered to make them dinner and his dad had plans tonight, so they were guaranteed some peace and quiet. Despite the noise and the chaos of their group, he missed hanging out with his friends. Ever since the school had given them voluntary study holidays for the upcoming University Entrance Exams, he didn’t get to see much of everyone, as they were either studying or training for competitions. Even today, Tatsuki and Chad left after dinner because they had to get up early for practice and they had decided they wouldn’t be giving the exams anyway. 

Ignoring Ishida’s pointed attempts to rile him up, he turns his attention to Orihime, who despite enjoying their banter, was more focused on the cram book in front of her.  

“Inoue, how are you still so motivated and so… awake?,” he asks, exasperated. “It’s almost 2 am! And you’ve been scribbling away furiously for the last thirty minutes. What are you even studying?”  

“Mouuu, you’re right. I’m not able to solve this proof anyway. Maybe I should call it a night?”

“Electromagnetism?” Ishida asks, skimming the title of the chapter, “Oh, I’ve done this one, I can explain this to you if you want.”  

He doesn’t know what irritates him more, Ishida’s nerdiness, or the soft look in his eyes as he unfailingly offers to help Orihime out, as he’d been doing a lot more of late, ever since they had started studying for the entrance exams together. In fact, it’d been this way this entire evening, starting from when he took a seat right next to her at the table as if he fucking belonged there, leaning over into her notebook, whenever she needed help, his arm casually brushing against her long, silken locks, her answering smile bright and incredibly close to him, and - Ichigo forces that thought to a halt because it has him gritting his teeth.  “... For God’s sake, give her a break,” - 

“... Shut up, Kurosaki, not everyone is applying to study *English* in University”- 

“And what exactly do you mean by that, asshole?” Ichigo snarls, with more venom than needed, because despite having had enough with Ishida’s condescending attitude towards his study choices, his recent behaviour had Ichigo prickling under his skin.  

“... Err, Kurosaki-kun…” Orihime starts, because she’s used to Ichigo and Ishida arguing (they’re just being affectionate, she always insists), there’s a glint in Ichigo’s eyes that’s different.

“... Exactly what I said, some of us don’t have the luxury of skipping the math and science exams,” - 

“Ah, Kurosaki-kun is right! I think my brain really can’t function anymore tonight,” Orihime declares loudly, inserting herself in between them. “Kurosaki-kun, I think I will leave now. Thank you so much for hosting us today.” She bows, her formality annoying him even more, but still throwing him off guard.

As always, Orihime’s pleasant demeanour diffused the rising tempers… somewhat. With one last glare, Ishida grudgingly agreed, “Then I guess I will take my leave as well.” 

Ichigo wants to be polite and say something like, “we should do this more often,” but he’s pissed off, and couldn’t wait to be rid of Ishida’s arrogant mug, so instead he offers, “Inoue, can I walk you home?” 

He doesn’t notice the faint red on her cheeks or the hesitation on her face, when she mumbles, “If it doesn’t inconvenience you.” And he’s torn again - tearing his eyes away from the pretty blush dusting her cheeks unable to stop himself from wondering bitterly if she’d let Ishida walk her home without much protest.

“Ishida lives in the other direction and it would be out of his way, so I don’t mind.” 

“Well then,” Ishida says, looking at her with more fondness than Ichigo would have liked, “Your eyes are all red and puffy. Sleep well. Don’t strain yourself, okay?”

“Yes sir,” she gives him the salute, “... good night!” 

“... And text me that you got home safe. This idiot can’t be trusted with anything,”- 

“... for fuck’s sake, just go home already!” 

“Kurosaki-kun,” she whispers, amused, as she watches Ishida walk away with a cheeky grin on his face, “you’ll wake the neighbours with your angry yelling.”

“Ah, you’re right,” he mumbles, rubbing his neck sheepishly, as their footsteps fall into place beside each other, “I’m sorry for all the swearing, I don’t know why I let Ishida under my skin so much.”   

“Hmmm,” she says, “It’s kind of cute, your bickering. If this were a yaoi novel, I’d totally ship it!” 

“... what the hell?!” His face is red, not just because the thought of him… and Ishida… Ew. But also because this is coming from Orihime, the last person he’d ever expect to engage in fantasies of this sort.

Giggling, she quickly switches to a more somber note. “You seemed... on edge today. Did something happen between the two of you?” 

He doesn’t know how to answer that question. Truth be told, he’s barely able to understand it himself. Sure, there was the usual trading of insults that took place between the two of them, but it was different this time. His whole demeanour just pissed him off. The way he always seemed to know what Orihime was asking, the way he was always able to help her, the familiar way he spoke to her… and the revelation that they’d been studying together for weeks now! 

“I don’t know,” he sighs, because he can’t even explain what he is feeling, let alone the reason behind it, “... I guess it’s just the stress of the exam.” 

“Ugh, tell me about it,” she whines, “I’m so thankful Ishida-kun is giving the same exams as me, and we can share practice questions and tips. I really wouldn’t be able to do this alone.” 

He ignores her mention of him and the tick in his jaw in reaction. “But I don’t get it. You’re giving almost all the exams. Why?!? There’s surely no need.” 

She blushes, ashamed, “I know it sounds stupid, but I really haven’t decided what I want to study in University. I figured if I just gave all of the exams, I would have more options to choose from.” 

“... Come on,” - 

“... And I will also prefer to go wherever I get a scholarship.”  

His fist clenches, “... So you’re definitely applying outside of Karakura?” 

“Yeah, although I’m not sure if there’s any point. It’s so difficult to aim for the National Universities, I’ll never get through. But the counselor says it’s worth a shot for the scholarship.”

“... I thought your aunt was helping you with tuition?” 

“... Only till high school. And I cannot burden her anymore. I’ve received so much from her already.” 

Ichigo doesn’t miss the way her voice wavers at the end, the guilt evident in her words. And he can’t stand it. “... Cheer up,” he says softly, playfully elbowing her. “You’re one of the smartest kids in school. Rank #2 after all the shit we went through last year! If anyone can do it you can.” 

“... You think so?” she mumbles, looking up at him, her insecurities heartbreaking in the grey of her eyes.  

Everything about her is so honest, it hurts him a little bit because his first thought is to say no, to talk her out of it, because the revelation is too sudden, too jarring - he can’t bear  the thought of this town without her. But he nods, smiles encouragingly, because that’s just way too selfish.

Shaking his head out of these thoughts, he asks, “... what was the counselor’s recommendation, again? As a career path?” 

“Ah, Hirata-san said maybe I should just follow my love for baking,” she says, smiling. 

“... and? Why don’t you consider that? You wouldn’t have to give these blasted exams then.” 

He liked the idea of this, now more than before, momentarily regretting his role in convincing her to apply to university. Orihime working in the local bakery, coming around his house everyday to share the leftovers, staying back for dinner maybe… 

“... but Kurosaki-kun was the one who said I wouldn’t be very good at it!” She pouts, “You said I’d make too many things in weird flavours and nobody would want to buy them.” 

Crap. He truly felt like waltzing back in time and whacking the past version of him for saying something like that.  Because if it were anyone else shitting all over Orihime’s dream, he’d have sent the punk flying. Where were all these feelings coming from anyway?! 

“... Shit, I didn’t mean,” - 

“... it’s okay, you’re right. And besides I can work there part-time through University. I was thinking…” She took a deep breath. “Well, actually, it was Ishida-kun’s idea. Maybe I could study to become a doctor? My strength is in healing people anyway…” 

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Well of course, he'd say that. He's going to study medicine too." And of course he would try to talk Orihime into it. The bastard had taken every opportunity to slither by her side - 

She laughs, a pretty sound, interrupting the profanity in his mind. "Yeah, he did say it would be nice to have some company… but I'm not sure." Sighing, she asks, "How did you decide on English Studies?" 

It wasn't too difficult for him honestly. It helped that he was fairly certain he didn't want to study math or science going forward. "... I like stories. And I want to be able to read and share stories in a global medium, so I decided to study English." 

He looks at her only to find her looking at him in fascination, "... Truth be told, I didn't spend too much time thinking about it. The career aptitude test returned similar results as well, so I just went with it." He shrugs, "I think I'll enjoy it. Let's see." 

"Ahh, you sound so optimistic about your studies, Kurosaki-kun. I wish I could be like that." 

They've reached her apartment building now and she turns to look at him, wistfully. He wishes he could do something for her, ease her anxieties in some way. 

"What about you?" He asks. 

She looks at him, puzzled.  

"... You've told me all about what everyone wants you to do. What do you want to do? I'm sure you must have some inkling." 

“... I,” she stops, opens her mouth again to say something, but nothing comes out. “... what I want… ah, you’ll probably think it’s silly.” She smiles wistfully to herself, because this wasn’t something that she’d ever admitted out loud.

He rolls his eyes, “... Try me.” Because she was many things, and yes, definitely silly sometimes in that unique way of hers, but he would never, could never, call her dreams silly. It’s a moment of realization for him, when he gets angry with the way she dismisses her own dreams that way, and he feels overwhelmed with the desire to pick them up, and keep them safe where no one can trample them, along with that spaced-out, wistful smile of hers. 

“Well,” she gulps, nervous, “I’ve never really thought too much about going to university. Sensei says I’m wasting my potential... but honestly, I think I’ll be happy working.” 

She looks at him unsurely, waiting for a reaction, an opinion, like everyone else. Everyone who’d been urging her to continue school and pursue all kinds of studies that she could possibly do, but… “I just - I want to build a simple life with someone I love. A family, maybe, someday.” 

It comes out so fast, she wishes she could grab the words and shove them back in her mouth. She chances a glance at him, her cheeks hot and furiously embarrassed. 

His expression is unreadable as he gazes down at her. She’s beautiful in the moonlight, he thinks, and it isn’t really a revelation to him, but the melancholy of her beauty is, the loneliness that he wishes he could extinguish as easily as he does hollows. “A simple life huh…” he murmurs. And he can almost picture it, Orihime, ten years from now, a child in her arms, a little boy maybe, with her wide brown eyes and - 

“Well, looks like you have planned it out better than any of us,” he manages hoarsely, unable to look her in the eye anymore. Not with all these… feelings simmering so close to the surface. And before he can help himself, “Do you already know who this mystery man is?” 

He’s come to realize how absolutely unequipped he is to hear the answer, but her unassuming statement has already taken residence inside him somehow, a burning sensation accompanying it. 

 His question jolts her into consciousness, and she notices they’re almost at her apartment. “Ah Kurosaki-kun is very curious today,” she laughs nervously, “only one confession per day! That’s the limit!” The fake cheer in her voice grates in her own ears but she hopes desperately it will steer him away because she’s this close to telling him sometimes, and this was one of those times. Especially in these rare moments when she feels an odd mixture of weakness and greed, where she wants to latch on to him and ask him to stay by her side, hoping selfishly that his kindness will make him say yes. But Orihime was practiced at hiding those feelings away. 

 “Is that right,” he smiles teasingly, albeit weakly, “... I didn’t know you were so mysterious, Inoue. Well goodnight, then.” 

And as he watches her climb up the stairs to her floor, and then lean over the railings to wave goodbye one more time, he can’t help but think of that image of her again, happy and in love and so beautifully fulfilled. And he thinks of the shadow of the man next to her, who will protect that dream and that smile, and his stomach clenches bitterly. 

“You deserve it,” he whispers to her retreating figure, “... You deserve all of it.”

- fin - 

A/N : The ending was cheesy, I KNOW UGH

[choicesreal]

Romance Club

Hey guys, so if you’re wondering how I’m posting this when I said in my last post that I was going on a hiatus. Well, I am indeed going on a hiatus because two days from now, my doom awaits me, in other words, online classes will start and damn, am I pissed. Moving to the main reason why I’m posting this, I would like to recommend a game that I’ve been playing whilst wasting time and waiting for online classes to start. As you can tell by the title, it’s name is Romance Club. And I have been very pleased with the game, here are the reasons why.

The game does not require diamonds all the time to decide on the MC’s path, it only takes them to decide carefully and thus, it will lead to different ways and endings, in short, the diamonds are not in control of the MC’s ending. The only sad thing about it is that though it is not reliant in diamonds, some of the outfiits are a wee bit too expensive, but that is not really a bad thing because as the diamond premium outfits are expensive, they do not disappoint in the non-diamond choices one, I may be quite bold in saying this but, their non-diamond clothing choice, when in Choices, can be one, and for me, some Choices diamond premium outfits are not worth it.  I am disappointed in Choices, they have not listened to us, unlike what they said, not only that, the LGBTQA+ community cannot move and play freely, considering some of the stories have a locked gender. Or what happened in MFTL, where they basically force Mason in our face, barely have Ava around, and the typical dad who neglects the daughters because his wife died.

Moving on to the stories, I will recommend some stories that I have played and I am pleased with the endings of them (I am not that new in the Romance Club community but it is my first time going vocal about it)

Recommendations:

These are the finished stories that I liked:

My Hollywood Story - in this story, you play a newbie actress (Emma) who moves in Hollywood and aspires to become a bigshot actress, of course, her path to her career is never easy, and she meets a lot of people on the way, enemies, friends and lovers. I just finished this now and wow, I am impressed, but I do have a slight bit of a complain, or a plot that I didn’t like. It’s when Gino Gabardino ( an Italian designer that the MC meets because he almost ran her over a car) and MC’s break up, I think it’s not really that much of a thrill when they broke up, of course, it broke my heart to see them to (and it broke my wallet too), but I just thought that it may be better for a much more, compelling and twisting plot that can cause them to break up, not the typical “he sees the girl with his ex and breaks up and flew to somewhere in the end of Earth and comes back 10 years later to get back the MC” Nevertheless, it’s an amazing story.

Shadows of Saintfour - in this story, you play a girl named Sarah O’ Niel who transfers from Baltimore to Saintfour due to her father’s job (I think, I forgot?) but little did she know that Saintfour is not what it seems, mystical and blood-curdling events will happen to her and the people she gets accustomed with.  In this story, I was speechless, the story was really mysterious and can peek your curiosity on what happens next. It’s only kinda frustrating because I couldn’t get the ending I wanted in the end. (I wanted an ending with Masked Man because, duh. He’s hot. Instead I got cursed with my friends and ended up with Derek.) But I actually take the blame in that, I was too careless to pick the choices.

Some of the stories I have been waiting for them to update that I really liked and have been diamond mining for:

(I have not put in a description because I became lazy, peace.)

Chasing You

Heaven’s Secrets

The Legend of the WIllow

Dracula: A Love Story

I know that this is the longest post I have ever written, so I’m sorry, but I want to encourage you to join the game and the community, since it’s small, there’s no toxic people. Please give Romance Club a try, I promise that you would not regret it. As for Choices, please step up your game and DO BETTER.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #322

“you will hear it when your god cries  /  you will see it when the sun dies  /  upon the altars of change”

What is your favorite nickname that you’ve had? "Bee," from my old best friend. I don't want others calling me it, though. Where did you go on the best date you’ve been on? A big arcade. It was a super fun double-date. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I don't want one. It'd be so awkward. What’s your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate. What act would you be most likely to perform in a talent show? I got nothin'. If you had braces, do you wear your retainers still? I don't. If you had braces, have your teeth moved since you got them off? Yep, because of the whole "not wearing my retainer" thing. Whose was the first baby shower you remember attending, and for what baby? I'm unsure. Possibly my sister's for her first daughter. Do you know anyone personally who’s lost a child? Many people. When was the last time you did something that felt like rebellion? So every now and again, I get a massive craving for soda at night, so I grab one from the kitchen and can hear my sleeping mother rightfully nagging me about it, haha... What is one present you got for your last birthday? Ashley got me this really cool skull bank that says "tattoo fund" on it, aha. I love it. What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have a clear memory of bringing a Snorlax plushie one day. Do you remember losing your first tooth? Not my first, no. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it's kinda easy to make me jump just a lil bit when one is popped. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don't know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? That is fucking HARD. I adore both, but I think the original is slightly better. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I'm pretty sure none of them did. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, definitely. As for my snake, I'm aware that snakes' brains simply aren't developed enough for love, but she clearly trusts me. Are you proud of your body? Fuck no. I'm humiliated by it every waking moment. Watermelon or cherries? I don't like either, but if I had to pick, watermelon. Favourite brand of cookies? I don't really have a favorite brand. Have you ever stuck gum under a desk/chair? No, that shit grosses me out. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return your cart or just leave it? Return your goddamn cart. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Uhhhh. I guess places I've "done it." When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? I did. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Yeah; at least, before Covid. What was your least favorite year of your life so far? Fuck 2016 into the next millenium. Do you like fried bologna? I haven't had it in so long that I don't really remember the taste. I think I would. Have you spent money on a game online? Yeah, very briefly with WoW. Mom was nice enough to refresh my subscription after the breakup (Jason paid for it prior), but from then on, I was rich enough in-game to use monthly game tokens to "pay." Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. What about your "Z"s? Also yes. Do you like cold pizza? Yeah, yummy. Do you like broccoli and cheese? Yessss. Toaster or toaster oven? We've always used a toaster oven. What are you most known for? Being artsy, I guess. Do you have any reputations? What are they? *shrug* What was the last thing to leave you speechless? No clue. What is the curviest part of your body? Well, I'm overweight, so it's difficult to tell where I'm naturally curvy... but I guess my hips. Even when I was at a perfectly healthy weight though, I don't think I was exceptionally curvy anywhere. What is your opinion on sex change? You are entirely deserving to feel comfortable in your own body. If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you? I'm not, though I thought I was when we were together, when we were really just using a loophole. It was a denial thing BECAUSE my virginity was so important to me. If you have lost it already, do you regret it? No. Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)? I didn't. What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? Things I said to Jason. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Pollen. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yeah, my most recent niece I actually held. I don't THINK I held Aubree or Ryder as newborns because I was so afraid of not doing it right and hurting them. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yeah. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. How many times have your comments been top comments on YouTube? A few times. I rarely ever comment, but if I do, it's because I feel like I really have something worth saying. Would you ever wear a wig? I'm not opposed to it. Do you like the moon or sun more? The moon. Do you like turkey or ham more? Ham. Have you ever slapped someone’s butt? Yes. Do you think dimples are ugly? I think they're cute, actually. Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? No. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Do you consider yourself a good kisser? I assume I am from experiences. Do you watch Pewdiepie? Not anymore, no. His current content doesn't interest me. The most recent thing I watched was his playthrough of The Last of Us 2, because I adore the first game and definitely wanted to see him play the sequel. I think he's pretty funny and have no personal issues against him, though then again I am so uninvolved in the fandom that I have no idea if he's done something stupid again. Do you like "Despacito?" Haha, my mind went to The Dark Den's bearded dragon before the song... I'm not a fan of it, no. Did you ever color your hair pink? No, but I absolutely want to dye it pastel pink one day. :( I even edited a picture of me "testing" different hair colors out, and pastel pink looked suuuuper pretty. Do you drink energy drinks? No, they're too strong for my taste. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? I don't now how many I have, but I know it's below 100. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, but I enjoy the franchise. I'm not totally clear on all the lore, though. Do you like religion? Quite honestly, no. Do you swear in front of children? No. What is the next craft you are going to make? There's no telling. I don't really do crafts. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? Maybe "The Call." Favorite *N Sync song? I don't remember enough of them, at least not right now. Which of those two bands did you like best? The BSB, baby. Do you learn choreography easily? When I danced, I'd say I learned at a fairly average pace. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Reeseeeeeee's. <3 Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? No. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? Oh man, idk. Maybe something from Troy, though I honestly barely even remember the movie by now, haha. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No, actually. Who takes care of your pet(s) when you’re out of town? Hypothetically, one of my sisters would come to feed and water Roman and clean his box. I'm certain I couldn't talk either into spraying Venus' cage, though... What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? Some group work during therapy. Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? No. What’s your favorite recipe you’ve come up with? Oh dear, I don't make those. Do you like celery? Yuck, no. By what age could you swallow pills? I dunno. A normal age. Do you like to drink alot of water? I need to drink more. :/ I've gotten better, though. For years, I literally never drank water. How I even survived, idk. How many times have you gone fishing? Countless times. Ever been to a roller-skating rink? Yeah. I loved having bday parties there as a lil'un. What do you refer to your mother as? (Mom, momma, mommy) Mom, Ma, and Mama. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yeah, multiple times. What is the last movie that made you cry? I think the remake of The Lion King. What would you like to swim in other than water? Nothing? If you could uninvent one thing what would you chose? Damn, just one? Maybe cigarettes? Have you ever read someone's diary? Absolutely not. I respect people's privacy. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No, but that'd be dope. Who has inspired you the most in your life? Probably Mark. Is there a place where everyone who lives near you tends to hang out? Idk. Teens sure do love to hang out at Sonic, though, reving their stupid fucking trucks. Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes; I was obsessed with those as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? I feel like being alone with a tiger would scare me most. Though let's be real, I'd probably try to pet it. Have you ever changed your favorite color? From what to what? It was originally red, but then became pink when I actually understood it was its own color. Then it was maroon forever, and now it's back to pink. On a scale of 1-10, how competitive are you? Eh, 4-6? It depends on the situation, I guess. At what age did your have your most memorable birthday? My 21st, because I was in the psych hospital for it. Yes or no: Guys in skinny jeans? Yeah, man. Yes or no: Girls with dreads? Some people can pull it off. Have you ever attended a themed b-day party? What was the theme? Oh yeah, plenty. Do you have any Eminem on your iPod/MP3 player? I do. Has anybody ever given you a promise ring? No. What do you think about putting ‘spinners’ on cars? So long as they're not too distracting, I don't care. Do what you want with your car - again, so long as it is not disruptive. What celebrity do you wish would have a big comeback? I wish poor Britney Spears could catch a goddamn break and be happy again. She's a legend that doesn't deserve to feel like a puppet. Were you outdoors or indoors more as a kid? I'd say there was a pretty even split. Do you or have you ever owned a horse? No, but I LOVE horses. Have you ever had a relationship that began via text? (weird, I know, but it happens…) Most of my relationships started through a text message. Did you believe in unicorns as a small child? I don’t think so. Would you ever date a guy with longer hair than yourself? Yeah; I have short hair anyway, and I also like long hair on guys. Do you watch the show Wizards of Waverly Place? I used to love that show. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No; humidity aside though, that would be so amazing. Bats are not spooky or are they? I think they're precious. Do you like the song "Womanizer?" I sure do, actually. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really, but I'll eat it. Do you know how to change a tire? Nope. What kind of headphones do you have? Just cheap earplugs. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? No. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? Dissecting a frog was my favorite, and doing the same with an owl pellet was also very cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Guilt. I lied to get out of group therapy early because I was just NOT feeling it whatsoever that day, and I hate lying. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? Jeez, what haven't we had... We've had cats, dogs, snakes, rats, gerbils, a rabbit, hamsters, lizards, fish, guinea pigs... Hell, I'm probably forgetting one or two. Can you name three good things about your most recent ex? She's so creative, a real advocate for proper reptile education and appreciation, and very kind. Name three bands/artists that you hate. Uhhh The Talking Heads, Bob Dylan, and The Police. What’s the best memory you have of your father? Playing softball with him in the front yard, and when he taught me to ride a bike. Should tattoos be meaningful? You get a tattoo for whatever reason you damn well want. I don't plan on all of mine to be meaningful. Some stuff I just want because I think it's cool. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Have you ever been through a trap door? No. What's the most recent good news you’ve heard? Hm. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. When’s the last time you used the microwave? Last night. What’s the worst thing in your life right now? Financial struggles. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? No. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. Have Jehovah'ss witnessess ever called to your door? Yep. when was the last time you went to mass/church? I have no idea. It's been many years. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? Thank heavens no.

[whumphoarder]

D is for Diploma

Summary: Between all of his commitments, Peter’s grades start slipping, putting him in danger of losing his academic scholarship to Midtown. Stressed and guilt-ridden about the effect this will have on May’s finances, he ends up worrying himself sick and having a breakdown in Tony’s lab.

Word count: 3,759

Genre: emotional hurt/comfort, angst, hurt/comfort

A/N: Thanks so much to @xxx-cat-xxx and @sallyidss for beta reading and encouragement <3

Link to read on Ao3

“But how are you getting a C in gym class?” Ned balks at his friend. He’s peering over Peter’s shoulder as he scrolls through his quarterly grades on the school library computer. “Everyone gets an A. I’m getting an A. All you gotta do is show up and at least look like you’re trying and boom, automatic A.”

Peter rubs a hand at the back of his neck sheepishly. “So, remember after the Rhino dude attacked me, how I had all those bruises that didn’t heal right away?”

“Yeah...” Ned recalls, frowning. “But you said they didn’t hurt.”

“They didn’t! Not really, anyway,” Peter says quickly. “But like, I didn’t really want everyone to see that, so I kinda didn’t change into my uniform. And apparently if you don’t change, Wilson just marks you as absent.”

“Ah.” Ned gives him a sympathetic wince. “Yeah, that’s lame.”

“What I don’t understand,” MJ pipes up, glancing up from the book she’s had her nose in all afternoon, “is the D in Spanish. Rodríguez isn’t even a hard teacher.”

Peter’s face flushes with embarrassment. “So… I might have forgotten to submit a couple assignments.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “You forgot? He reminds us what’s due, like, three times every class period.”

“I mean, it was just the take-home quiz...” he mumbles. “And some of the homework sheets. Oh, and that cultural essay thing about the ancient Mayans.”

“Peter.” She blinks at him. “That was like, twenty percent of our grade.”

“Well, to be fair, I did have a concussion,” he defends. “It was a little hard to remember stuff that week.”

Ned rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, that makes it so much better.”

Peter huffs out a laugh. Honestly, between all the hours he’s been logging lately as Spider-Man, his frequent internship nights with Tony in the lab, the increasingly demanding decathlon practice schedule as their team moves toward regionals, and the weekend shifts he’s started picking up at Delmar’s (because, let’s face it, the vigilante life isn’t the most lucrative career path—the occasional free churro notwithstanding), Peter thinks he’s been doing quite well juggling everything. Sure, his grades aren’t quite the neat row of A’s and the occasional B he’s grown accustomed to throughout his school career, but it’s not like he’s failing anything.

“I’ve just got different priorities now,” Peter says with a shrug. “I still show up and I’m passing all my classes, so what does the grade matter?”

MJ returns the shrug, looking vaguely impressed with him. “It doesn’t really. I’ve always been morally opposed to using arbitrary numerical values as a measure of academic success.” She shifts her gaze back to her novel before adding, offhandedly, “But you gotta admit, the tuition break is nice.”

And in those nine little words, she might as well have punched him in the gut.

“Oh shit,” Peter breathes out. Hurriedly, he starts gathering books together and getting to his feet.

“What?” Ned asks, looking puzzled.

“Um, I gotta go,” he blurts. And then before anyone can say another word, he’s out of the library doors.

X

The Parkers aren’t poor, exactly.

May works full-time at her job as a neonatal nurse, besides picking up extra shifts one or two nights a month to give them a bit of cushion. Between her wages and the social security checks that come every month from Ben’s pension, the two of them get by. Sure, Peter might not have name-brand clothes or the coolest tech or even a pair of gym shoes without a bit of duct tape on the soles, but there’s always been food on the table and a roof over his head, so Peter’s never stressed that much about their financial situation.

Maybe that’s how he managed to completely forget about his academic scholarship.

He’s qualified for it ever since he passed Midtown’s entrance exams in the top tenth percentile back in eighth grade. The money is substantial—slightly over two-thirds of the tuition cost is paid for him—and the scholarship automatically renews every semester provided he maintains a grade point average of 3.3 or higher, which has never been a problem for him.

That is, up until now. Factoring in his B in history, the C’s in gym and trig, and his D in Spanish, his GPA is currently sitting at 2.9.

Peter is going to lose his scholarship.

X

With less than two weeks left before finals, Peter starts cramming in all the studying he can manage. He stays up late, pouring over his trigonometry notes, trying to work his way through all the practice problems he’s been slacking on. He makes a point of showing up three minutes early to gym class every day, even if he has to use a bit of his enhanced speed to get all the way there from the chem labs on the other side of the building. On the train, he quizzes himself on the names of historical figures and the dates of battles long-since fought. Some of his teachers are willing to work with him, letting him turn in late assignments for partial credit or giving him additional projects to complete.

And then there’s Spanish.

“Isn’t there some kind of extra credit project I can do?” Peter begs. “Anything?”

It’s his study hall period and he’s at Señor Rodríguez’s desk for the second day in a row, desperately hoping for anything that could give his grade the boost it needs.

“I’m sorry, Peter,” his teacher says, sounding genuinely regretful. “But you’ve had countless opportunities this semester to get your grade up via homework and test retakes, all of which you neglected to take advantage of. Coming to me with less than ten days left in the semester requesting make up work for assignments worth significant percentages of your grade is simply too little, too late.”

“But… I had a concussion that week,” Peter argues. “Like, right when it was all due. And I would have done the work before, but…” He trails off, unable to finish his sentence without explaining his unorthodox extracurriculars. “I...I was busy,” he concludes weakly.

Rodríguez raises an eyebrow a little skeptically. “I didn’t receive any notes from the nurse’s office about this concussion.”

Peter glances down to his feet. “Well, that’s because she didn’t know, exactly…”

No one did—not even May. After getting all those bruises the week before, Peter didn’t want anyone to know he was hurt again so soon. Apparently Karen hadn’t deemed the blow to the head he took severe enough to override his wishes. He’d just dealt with the headaches and brain fog the best he could and sort of floated through that week on his own. In hindsight, maybe not his best plan.

“Well, I guess this is a good life lesson for you then, Peter,” Rodríguez says. His voice is firm, but not unkind. “Part of growing up is taking responsibility and learning to communicate with authority figures before you get into trouble.”

“Right, and I get that,” Peter babbles, “I just—”

His teacher holds up a finger, quieting him. “My job is to train my students for success in the real world, and sometimes that means reminding you that actions have consequences. ¿Lo entiendes?”

And Peter finds himself nodding. Because, despite the pool of dread growing in his gut, he does understand. He wants to be mad, wants to say it’s unfair and the universe gave him a raw deal and he doesn’t deserve this. But he can’t. Rodríguez is right.

And Peter’s still fucked.

X

By the time Friday rolls around, Peter’s barely functioning. Besides all the extra assignments and studying for finals, he’s had three days in a row of Decathlon practices, followed by some particularly eventful evening patrols that all went quite a bit later than his usual curfew of ten p.m.

He can’t get much of his lunch down today, which does nothing to appease his friends’ concerned looks. The food seems tasteless in his mouth and he’s so tired he nearly nods off into his cafeteria chicken nuggets.

When school finally lets out, he’s surprised and a little disheartened to see the sleek black car waiting for him in the bus circle. He’d totally forgotten it was an internship weekend.

Figures.

X

Peter groans as he disconnects the circuits he just switched out. He’s been trying to fix a bug in his suit’s heater upgrade for the last twenty minutes now, but nothing he attempts is working and his head is throbbing so much that his vision is hazy.

“Just try again, kid,” Tony encourages absently from across the workshop. He’s not looking up, fully engrossed as he is in his own project. “You got this.”

“Yeah...” Peter mutters under his breath. Blinking a few times, he rubs a hand at his eyes to try to clear his vision.

He connects a different wire. That one doesn’t yield any better results, so he unplugs it and tries again. Then again. Then again. He’s fairly sure he’s already tried the next combination, but he’s so tired he can’t remember so he does it again just to be sure. Nothing.

Peter is so frustrated now that his hands are actually shaking. He pauses and takes a deep breath before trying again.

This time, the wire sparks at him.

“I can’t do this!” Peter exclaims, shoving the suit away from him across the table. “I can’t do anything! Why am I so fucking stupid?!”

He’s breathing heavily now, tears clouding his vision even further. Within a few seconds he feels Tony’s hand rest heavily on his shoulder. It should be comforting, but it only makes Peter feel pathetic.

“C’mon, just take a deep breath and—”

“No!” Peter blurts, shaking away from Tony’s grip. “That’s not going to fix anything! I can’t fix this—don’t you see?!”

Stepping backwards, Tony holds his hands up in front of his chest, keeping his expression perfectly neutral. “Okay…” he says carefully. “I think you might need a break.”

Tears prick at Peter’s eyes and he instantly regrets snapping at his mentor. “No, no, I didn’t mean that! I’m s-sorry, ’m fine…” he says. It would probably sound a lot more convincing if his breath would stop hitching.

Tony lifts an eyebrow. “Yeah, no, I’m pulling rank here,” he declares. “It’s break time.”

“No!” Peter protests. His hands fumble back on the table for the wires.  “I gotta finish it! It’s so close, it’s just—” He cuts himself off as the images of the suit swim before his eyes, his head throbbing. “I, I need to finish…” he concludes lamely.

“Peter, just stop,” Tony says with an exasperated sigh. “You’re no good like this.”

Somehow, those words are the catalyst. Peter feels every emotion he’s been bottling up for the past week erupt inside of him. His breath hitches and his head pulses. “I, I know I’m not,” he manages to say, “but that’s why I gotta… gotta finish, then maybe—”

“Jesus, kid,” Tony breathes out. “That’s not what I meant at all. I was just saying—”

Peter cuts him off. “No, I… I know…” Tears are sliding down Peter’s cheeks now. He runs a hand through his hair, shoulders shaking. “’M sorry.”

Tony’s eyes are a mixture of concern and confusion. “Whoa, hey, what’s going on here?” Tugging the edge of his sleeve over his thumb, Tony uses it to wipe a few of the tears off his cheeks. “Talk to me.”

Honestly, Peter doesn’t even know where to begin. The frustration of his current project, the lack of sleep, his grades, the scholarship…

“I just… I-I have a headache.”

Peter doesn’t know why he says it—the pressure in his skull doesn’t even rank very high on his list of concerns at the moment, yet the simple physicality of it somehow makes it the easiest thing to admit. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, but his vision is still so blurry. “Can’t really see straight…”

Tony’s brows knit together. “Is it a migraine?”

“N-No,” Peter says between choked sobs. “Or... I don’t know, I don’t th-think so?” Despite never having had a migraine, he’s pretty sure that’s not what this is. The pain isn’t anything exceptional—it’s just that he can’t seem to stop crying and he’s so fucking tired.

“Either way, I think you’ll feel better once you’ve got a couple painkillers in you,” Tony reasons. “C’mon, let’s get you sorted out.”

Peter shakes his head in weak protest. “No, ’s’okay... “

“Nope,” Tony says, his voice a little more firm. “Trust me on this, you don’t want to work in a lab right now. It’s bright, and loud, and honestly, you’re a bit of a safety hazard at the moment.”

To Peter’s horror, a fresh wave of emotion comes over him and he finds himself properly crying now, his frame wracking with each sob.

“Okay, okay, alright…” Tony murmurs, and Peter feels a hand awkwardly patting him on the back.

It’s all so idiotic, Peter decides, standing in Tony’s lab, crying over things that are completely his own fault and a headache that isn’t even that bad.

“You’re okay, kid,” Tony whispers. “Just breathe.”

As Peter struggles to pull himself together, he feels the hand switch to rubbing circles on his back. It moves up to the back of his neck, but halts as soon as Tony’s fingers touch Peter’s bare skin.

Tony frowns. “Do you have a fever?”

“Wh-What?” Peter’s throat is thick.

“You’re really warm,” Tony explains. He flips his hand around to press the back of his fingers to Peter’s skin, first on his neck, then on his cheek. “Yeah. FRIDAY, can we get a read on that?”

“100.7, boss,” she supplies.

Tony hums a bit. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought…”

Peter doesn’t get it. “B-But I’m not sick,” he protests. “Just—”

“Exhausted,” Tony finishes for him. “When’s the last time you had a full night’s sleep?”

Sniffling, Peter gives a non-committal shrug.

“Yeah, that’s not good, kid,” Tony huffs. “Take it from a guy who has a bit of experience in this area—not sleeping enough will seriously mess you up.”

With a hand on Peter’s back, Tony starts gently ushering the kid out of the lab. Peter doesn’t even bother protesting anymore as he shuffles along, his lip quivering. He figures he’s caused enough trouble today.

Tony deposits him onto the couch in the living room and Peter immediately curls up against the arm rest, squeezing his eyelids shut in an effort not to think about what a fool he’s making of himself in front of his mentor. It doesn’t help much.

“You just chill out for a minute here, okay?” Tony says quietly, draping a blanket over Peter. “I’m gonna get you some meds.”

Peter nods and Tony gives his shoulder a final squeeze before stepping out.

The second he’s alone, the tears start streaming down again, hot and silent and totally uncontrollable. If he’s not working in the lab, then he really should be studying for these stupid finals, but he can’t bring himself to pull out his flash cards. He doesn’t think he can rest—not with so much hanging over his head—but he can’t work either. Tony was right; he’s just no good right now.

When Tony reenters with painkillers and a glass of water, he doesn’t say anything about how Peter is hurriedly sitting up and scrubbing his face with his hands in a pointless attempt to pull himself together. He just presses two pills into Peter’s palm.

Looking down at the painkillers in his shaking hand, Peter’s stomach twists and he’s suddenly not so sure they’ll be able to stay down. “I can’t. I feel sick,” he admits in a whisper.

With a quiet sigh, Tony perches himself on the edge of the sofa, right beside Peter’s tucked knees. “I think you’re just tired, kiddo. Sometimes that makes you feel a little sick.”

Peter doesn’t say anything so Tony passes him the glass of water. “Here. Humor me,” he says. “If I’m wrong, I’ll pay for the dry cleaning.”

It’s a stupid joke, but the corners of Peter’s lips twitch anyway. “Okay,” he croaks.

Peter slips the pills into his mouth and swallows them down with a sip of water. He’s queasy, but it’s not too bad. He goes to set the cup back down on the coffee table, but his mentor shakes his head.

“Drink the whole thing,” Tony instructs.

Peter obeys. It takes him a couple of minutes, but he manages to get the entire cup down and feels just the smallest bit better for it.

Tony takes the empty glass from his hand and sets it on the table. “Think you can sleep now?”

Peter just shrugs. He wants to—god, he wants to—but he doesn’t deserve it. Not when this is all his own damn fault. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks again:

“I think I really messed up, Mr. Stark.”

X

Over the next ten minutes, it all comes tumbling out: the job at Delmar’s, the decathlon requirements, the late patrols, his slipping grades, his scholarship, everything.

“I just… I don’t want to change schools,” Peter concludes softly. “I like Midtown. It was the first place I really felt like… well, like I fit in.”

Tony’s been quiet for the whole time Peter was speaking, but now his brow furrows. “Why would you need to quit Midtown?”

Peter blinks at him; isn’t it obvious? “Because the full tuition is eight thousand dollars a semester. Without the scholarship…” he trails off. “I just can’t do that to May.”

A look of relief spreads across Tony’s face. “Is that all? That’s the whole issue?” He huffs out an amused breath. “Done. Consider it paid. Problem solved.”

Peter feels his cheeks flush. He shakes his head frantically. “No, no, I didn’t mean that you should pay! Please don’t do that!”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to blink at him. “Peter. I am a multi-billionaire. Do you have any idea what eight thousand dollars is to me?”

“But you shouldn’t have t—”

“Peanuts,” Tony cuts him off. “I’ve spent more on peanuts than that.”

“But—”

“And by that I mean actual, honest-to-god peanuts,” Tony continues over the kid’s protests. “There’s this company in Peru that slow-roasts them for twenty-one days in a secret spice blend. Happy’s obsessed with ‘em—says they’re god’s gift to mankind. So, for Christmas one year—”

“You can’t pay my tuition!” Peter blurts out.

Tony stops his story abruptly. His eyes narrow at Peter. “And why exactly is that?”

“Because…” Running a hand through his hair, Peter draws in a shuddery breath. “Because… If anyone should pay, it’s me. I-I’m the one who fucked up and lost the stupid scholarship. I should be the one responsible for fixing this.”

“But you can’t fix it,” Tony says bluntly.

Peter’s caught off-guard. “Wh-What? N-No, I just need to get my grades up, and, and…”

Tony’s voice is gentler now. “You can’t, Peter. You can’t get a 2.9 up to a 3.3 by next week, no matter how well you do on your exams. You’ve gotta know that.”

(Peter does know. He’s known for days. He’s always been good at math, after all.)

“So you can’t keep going on like this, trying to make up for what happened,” Tony concludes.

Tears prick at the corners of Peter’s eyes once more. He’s determined not to let them fall this time. “But I deserve it…” he whispers.

Tony shrugs. “If we always got what we deserved, I never would have made it through the 90s.” He huffs out a short laugh. “At least nobody has to bail you out of prison. Same can’t be said for all of us.”

In spite of Peter’s earlier resolve, the traitorous tears slip out anyway. He wonders how he has any left.

Tony sobers a bit. “You’re a good kid, Pete,” he says quietly. “But you’re trying to carry the whole world on your shoulders and that’s enough to break anyone. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes. Even if you fucked up.”

Peter swallows hard. “Okay.”

“So let’s try this again,” Tony says. He makes eye contact with Peter. “What do you need, kid?”

“Right now?” Peter exhales deeply. “I dunno. A nap?”

Tony smirks slightly. “I think we can manage that.”

X

Peter makes it through finals.

All his extra effort and studying does yield some results. His gym grade increases to a B after Coach Wilson grades his two-page extra credit report on the rules of badminton. The trig final is rough, but he pulls in another couple points there, and the art teacher accepts a few late sketches from the unit on perspectivism. With the help of the final exam, he even manages to eek out a C- in Spanish.

When it’s all said and done, Peter’s GPA sits at 3.1.

“That wasn’t easy to do. I’m proud of you, Peter,” May says sincerely. “You know that, right?”

Peter shrugs. “I guess so.”

They’re sitting together at the apartment’s small kitchen table, May’s open laptop in front of them with all of Peter’s end of semester grades displayed. Peter’s eyes drift down from the screen to the table where a check for eight thousand dollars signed by Tony Stark himself is staring back at him. He sighs.

May plants a quick kiss on the top of her nephew’s head. “Well, I know so. So for now, I’ll just know it for the both of us.”

Peter strokes his fingers over the crisp paper of the check. Besides covering tuition, Tony has now upgraded Peter’s unofficial SI internship to a paid position—something he says he should have done long ago, given how much time Peter spends working in the lab—and that will allow him to give Mr. Delmar his two-week notice.

He knows he should be grateful, but honestly, it’s going to take him some time to wrap his head around the concept of being taken care of like this.

Getting up from the table, May moves over to retrieve a small paper bag from the counter. “That reminds me—Mr. Stark told me to give you this.” She tosses the bag to Peter, who catches it easily.

Curiously, he opens it. He’s immediately hit with the aroma of exotic spices and roasted legumes. Peter can’t help but grin.

A note inside the bag reads: Enjoy your peanuts, kid.

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, you might also like: 

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[jiminuets]

THE BAD LUCK CLUB

when my boy casper (26) first came to new york, he met a bunch of disasters and gathered them all into some sort of misfit friend group. some of them might have shared a flat for a while, some might still. they all have low ratings or are in the process of improving their ratings, as they are on the fringe of society in some way: as outcasts, shunned citizens, criminals, or simply just looked down upon and forgotten. they acknowledge the power of the rating system, but it doesn’t mean they all adhere to it or care for climbing back up to the top at all after all they’ve been through. while some of them might be working to improve their ratings just for a better living standard, they’re a group that has little regard for the fakeness of the system. they are close to one another because they all act real and can’t hide their bs from each other. they don’t try to pretend they are something they are not (most of the time).

i rly want them to like scam some people too lmao 👀

find me on the site discord (i’m zay) if you’re interested!

i’m loosely basing the archetypes off characters from the show misfits, but you don’t have to have seen it or strictly follow anything! just giving u some ideas info and inspo below. gender and ages can vary but everyone should be 23/24+

the alisha: played by casper boo. used to be a big partier and heavy drinker to forget the woes of his past, which drove him to new york. likes feeling needed and desired. craves touch, but is afraid of intimacy after heartbreak. guarded and acts aloof but he cares deeply. uses adult ent as a means to improve his ratings rapidly and make money to go back to college for his master’s degree and hopefully get a successful job. appears two-faced and mysterious, like a big gamer of a system which has failed him. 

the nathan: reserved for naomi. acts like a clown with no direction or aim in life. treats life as a joke and just wants to laugh it up to the fullest. prone to screwing up everything always no matter how hard they try. has no filter whatsoever and kind of liked riling people up for entertainment and watching them crack. has a petty criminal past. def loves their cons and practical jokes. kinda dumb. in the show nathan had the power of immortality, so they live very indulgently with little regard for anyone except this group of outcasts that are the closest thing to a home they’ve ever had.

the curtis: was super popular before having a fall from grace with a really huge scandal. like steroids and drugs for an athlete as an example. unlike the rest of the misfits, the curtis desires nothing more than to reclaim their spot at the top, however unachievable that is as their spotlight has fallen to someone else. they’ve been ousted from their career path/domain and not welcomed back. probably the fakest of all of the members because they cannot confront the lie they’ve been telling themselves about being perfect. and no one except casper really understands why they would want to return to such fakery and flattery. has a cocky sort of attitude. doesn’t like displaying how much they truly care about people and things, bottles things up. in the show, curtis had the power to rewind time, so this character is full of a lot of regret and sort of despair deep down.

the kelly: reserved for sahara. has probably always had a low rating since they were first registered due to being poor and their parents being unsavory characters. perfectly capable and smart, but unable to get out of the rut. bitter and angry bc of the system that seems immobile and unforgiving. might be looked at as a bit of a thug. has problems with aggression and vulgar, candid speech. aches to be at the top, but has probably given up on living the dream so they just pretend and take from others what they feel they deserve. in the show, kelly had the power to hear people’s thoughts, so this character is really self conscious about how everyone sees them.


the simon: observant but often overlooked by everyone around them. nothing remarkable so they slide off the radar. probably bullied in school for just looking or dressing like a weirdo. considered a freak. easily teased. meek and shy and quite naïve. wants to be powerful and feel some semblance of control but it aint ever gonna happen bub. probably a little weasel the gang always has to take care of. some are kind of awful to them but they’re just happy to have a couple of people who seem to enjoy their company. and call “home.” in the show simon had the power of invisibility and he tried to set someone’s house on fire??? which ought to speak for itself huh. little creeper.