#kinda insane tho how i feel like

[sovawife]

not directed at anyone in particular but i miss when this community was more of a community. when people actually talked to each other and socialized with people they didnt know in a friendly manner and didnt go around gossiping like highschoolers. i've been here since 2018 and most of the people i know here have been here for a while and are adults now, if they weren't already, so act like one. it feels like everyone's constantly at each other's throats and there's no room to breathe or even be empathetic or civil with each other when we should be. like it seriously in a way almost forgets with all the discourse and stuff that happens people forget real people are behind the screen, like real people that have feelings lol.

i get part of this is because there are so many proshippers rampant in the community now, i feel like there is too from what i've seen and i don't like them either but i feel like people need to get a life and leave it alone like if you don't like it just block and move on lol. it's really childish to be just dwelling on it and spreading more gossip . i honestly don't think the community is ever gonna return to how it was years ago and i don't have hope in it doing so but. it just sucks!!!

[bunnieswithknives]

Fop redesigns for funsies but also bcs I saw some star heel boots and had to put Dale in them immediately.

[isa-ah]

for people who have anxiety but live alone anyway: how do u deal with the panic? I live with 2 other people and still have bubble burst moments of random fear that only gets soothed by putting myself in someone else's eyeline. what do you do when the catastrophising starts???

[nobodybetterlookatme]

I don't care if the texts are about what you're eating for dinner, I'll take all the crumbs I can get !!

LMAO yeah okay here you go. And upon reading them this morning it wasn't that funny so idk why I was laughing almost hysterically last night about it ahskalslal

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Chinese Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Jenson Button)(not pictured: Parc Fermé )

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[laugtherhyena]

CHERRY🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

[widevibratobitch]

something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

13/15 is fun right bc he needs to be touched so so so bad bc she basically touch starved herself to death and she neeeeeeeeeeeds his body she Needs his body but no way in a million years do they have the framework to interpret that need as what it is so they assume it's sexual, right? it's gotta be. i need to be inside you bc i need to be touched bc im my own type bc the trust issues are Dire so just fuck me until ive forgotten im a person or remembered how to be one. right?

until one day like weeks months way longer than it should be into this self-destructive self-actualisation self-care routine theyre lying on the floor of the console room catching their breath and she goes "do you think.....do you think pythia's curse is still in effect or is this gonna be a problem"

and hes like "fuck! susan"

[bunnihearted]

🦈2

[francy-sketches]

not 2 be a gatekeeper but sometimes i wish aemond didnt get as popular as he did bc none of you understand him fr. he's an over the top anime villain and also kinda cringe he is NOT your dark and edgy daddy dom bf who calls you his precious little kitten stop that shit

[analogboii]

does anyone else have like a super hyperspecific genre that applies to only them?

for example: i got a genre of music (they dont necessarily match theyre from diff genres but fall under this umbrella) that gives me a nostalgic feel of memories i dont have

like almost the entire sudden sky album from crown the empire gives me a nostalgic feeling of memories of me escaping from a science human experiment facility???? or like fantasmas by humbe gives me the nostalgic feel from memories of me dancing in a ballroom by myself in an abandoned castle reminiscing of older memories of people long since passed.

i even have like a genre thats different kinds of metal/alt songs that are heavy with like soft vocals mixed in that sound a certain way that it makes me think of me during the zombie apocalypse, taking over my high school to make it a safe haven/my exact plan of how i would turn into a self sustaining thing. (a lot of old memphis may fire songs, wage war, and other bands/songs for this one)

like its just a VERY specific genre that only i get. does anyone else have genres like this or is it just me??? 😭

[star-burrow]

So fucking pissed at people who say that hyperspecific labels “make the queer community look bad” or “is just pure attention seeking”, NO MF I JUST LIKE HAVING A NAME FOR THINGS I FEEL.

Like, my situation with gender is so fucking complicated that having a person coin something such as “dazegender” was so good to me, and I still have a complicated relationship with gender !! I’m so glad for whoever coined the term “Omnisexual/romantic” because it would've been a living nightmare to do mental gymnastics to feel like I fitted pan or bi.

“But those are spectrums” do people treat them as such ? Do they really ? Plus it's just difficult to my head to grasp the concept of “spectrum” it either is or is not, that's how my brain works personally. (My brain needs to be able to name things, basically. And also to know exactly what to do, if we're talking about chores, per say).

In today's generation so many people (me included) just find it SO HARD to put their feelings into words that it is genuinely a blessing to have labels that can label what we feel so precisely (to us, at least), “but you're overcomplicating something that should be simple” feelings are so far from being simple, honestly, and what is simple to you may not be to me, and that's okay, just don't call me attention seeking or whatever.

Also, also !! Hyperspecific labels/flags just make me (at least) feel more validated, since it makes it clear to me that I'm not alone in the way I feel and it kinda validates me (in a good way) :] And it's the Queer Community after all, so I think it's past the time we start actually acting like that.

[martynsimp69]

hiii so!! here’s a little write up about the docmartyn mermaid/marine biologist enemies-to-lovers au i mentioned here, significantly later but also much longer than i intended it to be. written in collaboration with @daisycraft and @kingtheghast thank u both for letting me steal your very good thoughts and words <3

au contains themes of dehumanization and mentions of violence/injury. the tone gets a little dark at certain points, so just be warned!

— — —

the only thing really known about mer is that they’re sneaky, scarce, and very dangerous. a siren song will lure an unsuspecting ship into rocks and a crew into the water, where teeth and claws and cold, crushing depths await them. so when there’s reports of what might be a mer spotted a few miles off the coast, a team is sent out to deal with it before it causes any casualties.

it’s rare to have one this close to land. it’s even rarer still that its successfully netted, and successfully sedated. several of the crew members are heavily wounded in the process, but no one dies. and, in an unheard-of turn of events, that also includes the mer.

and you see, up until now, mer have only ever existed in vague sightings: pieces of dead ones caught in fishing nets, grainy phone camera footage, strange findings of scales and old dwellings left behind in the ocean, and the wild tales of shipwreck survivors. so this whole thing is kind of a Big Deal. for the first time ever, a live, healthy mer specimen has been found, captured, and brought in to a facility for observation and study. and the honor of leading this unprecedented study goes to doc.

(the role would be a much bigger honor if the mer wasn’t an annoying, stubborn, spiteful little bitch.)

so doc gets transferred over to the marine biology department, where a huge tank has been retrofitted into one of the bigger labs, and brought on to the study of specimen 9201223—which is a terrible name that doc isn’t going to remember, so he starts calling it “martyn” after a childhood pet fish of his.

but yeah, once it settles in and stops hiding all the time? it turns out that “martyn” is a bastard of a specimen. the lab keeps it semi-sedated as part of the safety protocol (they feed it fish laced with a numbing drug that limits its ability to vocalize, so it can’t lure any of the staff into drowning themselves or breaking it out; the sedation is a side effect) and yet it still finds the energy to cause Problems for the research team. it’s tearing up the kelp and gravel along the bottom and stuffing it into the water filters. it’s slamming into the side of the tank, scaring the shit out of the scientists. it’s trying to bite the interns fingers off during feeding time. it’s eating the rubber ball they gave it for enrichment and getting sick. it’s ruined at least three laptops and countless lab reports by splashing the personnel at every opportunity. and it seems like it’s actively trying to be uncooperative with every test they run.

working with the damn thing makes doc want to tear his hair out, but he’s also stubborn as hell so it becomes a rivalry, a battle of wills; doc hates this fucking fish, and he’s pretty sure it hates him right back.

it doesn’t particularly like anyone, of course, but he’s convinced it targets him on purpose. it starts to sit at the front of the tank by his desk whenever he’s in, swimming back and forth, staring with those freaky blue eyes, rapping on the glass when it gets too quiet just to see him jump. it hides whenever other researchers swing by, but when it’s just martyn and doc in the lab, during his late evenings working overtime? god, can’t get rid of it. can barely get any work done with it bothering him.

and then. it’s one of those late, frustrating evenings when martyn is being particularly bothersome while doc is just trying to get some paperwork done, and he’s sick of it. he’s so frustrated with martyn’s constant tapping on the tank that he rips out a page from his notebook, balls it up and whips it across the lab… and then watches as martyn darts off, going as far as his tank will let him go after the ball of paper before he eventually turns and goes back to doc. and that’s the moment doc realizes, ohhh my god it’s going stir crazy. oh my god. it just wants to play.

suddenly, doc has a new perspective on his relationship with the mer, and a lot of things start making a lot more sense. martyn’s not just banging on the glass to annoy him when he plays music, he’s trying to get him to change the song to one he prefers. the haphazard woven band of seaweed around his head might not be some sort of stress response from running into the glass too much, but an accessory, a form of personal identity. the way he stares during observations, the way his freaky eyes follow doc’s hand down the page as he writes his notes—maybe he’s observing doc and his behavior right back, trying to make sense of him.

and, yeah, martyn’s still uncooperative and bitey and impossible to deal with as ever, but doc starts feeling less like he’s working with an animal, and more like he’s working with a very stubborn person. it’s a lot to wrap his head around, and the more he notices it, the harder it becomes to ignore.

still, he and his team run their tests, gather their data, publish their findings. and the media eats that shit up… at least during the first year, when the captive mer is still novel and sensational. after a while, public interest wanes, the studies get more niche, and funding starts to slow down.

that’s when some of the faculty board members approach him with a proposal.

you see. the care and upkeep of a live mer is extraordinarily expensive. the personnel, the food, the medicine, the aquarium chemicals, the water and electricity bills, etc etc etc., it’s all getting to be a bit… much. and, frankly, they’ve already gotten plenty of research done as is. so they were considering that, well, it might be time to retire the mer program and do some final reports, and then perhaps they can move on to some other, less costly studies.

doc doesn’t realize exactly what’s being suggested until the words euthanasia and dissection are dropped. he starts protesting, stammering about the— the ethics department, and— and species preservation, and— and they can’t just—

and he’s told, quite plainly, that the thing's going to die anyways, or have you forgotten, doctor, that we don't know how to keep a species like this yet?

this tank isn't enough for it to live healthily, or very long.

we don’t even know how old they’re supposed to get in the wild.

better to get something out of it before it gets sick enough to be spoilt.

doc takes a deep breath, and tells them to get out of his lab. the board members exchange glances, and tell him they’ll give him time to think on it. doc tells them, louder, to get the fuck out of his lab.

…sitting there in that empty room, lit by the blue glow of the tank, doc feels cornered. because yes, sure, martyn is uncooperative and annoying, but also—good lord. he’s smart enough to be uncooperative. he’s smart enough to annoy him. those luminous blue eyes that stare at him through the thick glass are freaky and inhuman, but they’re intelligent. and they just want to—

he could go to the ethics board, sure. he could go plead his case and show them all the evidence, look, look, he’s not just a monster, he’s not just an animal. just spend some time with him, you’ll see. but there’s a lot of people who won’t be happy with that. a lot of very influential and rich people, people whose surnames are carved into plaques outside the building or have their companies attached to big research grant funds. and if they stop paying, doc doesn’t really have a say in what happens to martyn.

he can continue his research quietly for now, but it feels like the rest of the facility is breathing down his neck with expectations and deadlines. doesn’t help at all that the mer still doesn't want to be any sort of cooperative, either, because it’s just delaying an inevitable end that it doesn't even know is coming. the thought that he’s the only person able to protect martyn right now is fucking terrifying.

doc sets his paw on the glass tank, and the mer on the other side smiles a big, sharp smile, and mirrors him with a webbed hand.

[shima-draws]

I’m really torn with what I want to see happen in the epilogue miniseries…on one hand getting a timeskip and seeing Ash grown up would be really interesting. On the other hand sometimes timeskips are cheesy and if they confirm any Ash-centric ships as canon I will riot. Yes I know I’m all about shipping but HONESTLY I would much rather them leave that aspect of Ash’s life ambiguous;; I really like the idea of Ash’s story arc being a “never-ending journey” kind of thing. So that viewers can just…interpret what happens to him in their own way rather than having it be outright stated. And this kid can go on adventures forever because there’s not a solid ending to his storyline

[astrxealis]

sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing