#kinda faded out. But for me it’s sad. It’s just sad.
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*𝑺𝒐 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍*
Pairing: Seungmin x Reader (Fem)
Genre: Fluffy smut (tiniest bit of angst)
Warnings: Oral (F), Praise, Creampie, Unprotected Sex, Slight mirror sex?, lots of use of beautiful, sorry for any mistakes or missing warnings.
Find The Request Here
-🖤
You were out shopping with some friends, looking for some new clothes for the summer. You found a few pretty things taking a few pictures to ask your boyfriend what he thought of them. Like normal he just replied kinda bland.
You: How do these look? I really like this black one.
Mong😘: Looks good
You: Should I get them? I don’t knooow :(
Mong😘: Get them if you want
You felt a bit sad, I mean he wasn’t being mean or anything. However you were at least hoping for a ‘you look pretty’ or something more. This is how Seungmin is though he doesn’t express himself really well and sometimes it makes you feel bad. Like you’re either boring him or he doesn’t care. You signed a little not even wanting to get it anymore but your friends made sure you did.
When you got home you put the stuff away walking past seungmin who was sitting on the couch scrolling his phone. You thought to yourself ‘maybe if I show him it now he’ll say something?’ You could only hope. You slipped the pretty black dress on walking back out to the living room.
“You got the dress” he said looking up for a moment from his video.
“Yeah! How’s it look?” You asked with a small hopeful smile.
He didn’t even look up shifting a bit in his seat before replying “Good” he said bluntly.
The small smile on your face faded looking over at him before walking back to the room. You felt defeated like maybe he just didn’t find you attractive anymore. You crawled onto your bed hugging onto a pillow and felt a tear fall. You didn’t even realize you started crying. A whirlwind of thoughts spun around in your head. ‘Did I do something wrong?’ ‘Does he even like me anymore?’ ‘Am I just not attractive?’ Your heart sank more and more as the thought just kept swirling.
Seungmin however was still sitting on the couch he let out a small breath situating himself. Realistically he loved the dress on you, you looked so fucking good. When he saw the picture of you in it his cock god instantly hard and seeing you in front of him was the same thing. He didn’t wanna seem like a horn dog so he just kept his thoughts at bay. He did that a lot, knowing how men have treated you in the past. Unbeknownst to him how he was making you feel.
You eventually took the dress off putting it back in the bag. You were just going to take it back. When seungmin had came back to the room he noticed the dress sitting by the door folded in the bag. “Not hanging it up?” He asked looking over at you.
“No. I’m.. I’m just gonna take it back” you said softly not meeting his gaze.
“What why?” He asked confused.
“I just am ok..” you snapped a bit curling yourself into the pillow.
“Is there something wrong with it?” He asked.
“I don’t know is there? Or is there just something wrong with me?” You snapped again this time sitting up to glare at him.
He was taken back a bit “what?”
“Nothing just forget it” you said getting up to walk into the bathroom.
You shut the door behind you feeling like you were gonna cry again. You heard a small knock before seungmin slowly opened it. “Are you alright?” He asked softly.
“Seungmin..” you said choking back your tears. “Am I not attractive to you anymore?” You said voice almost a whisper.
“what? Why would you think that?” He asked more confused than ever.
“You barely touch me, you didn’t even look up from your phone when I came out.. you couldn’t even tell me I looked good in it..” you could feel the tears slowly falling now. Seungmins heart dropping.
“Hey” he said reaching out to you. He cupped your face with his hand whipping the tears away. He turned your head to look at him where you could see the hurt on his face. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t- like I don’t like you..” he said softly.
“Then why are you so bland when we texts? Why does it seem like I’m just.. ugly or something..” you said in a whisper.
“Sweetheart, you’re not ugly. I find you so attractive.. I guess I’m just really bad at expressing how I feel towards you because you make me feel so much.” He says. ��That dress looks so phenomenal on you. You look- god you look so good in it.” He admits.
You look over his features trying to figure out if he’s being genuine. “Put it back on. I’ll show you how much I like it” he says with a smile.
Although you’re hesitant you do, you go back out slipping it back on before opening the door once more. He smiles taking your hand to bring you over to the mirror for a second. “Look at you. Look how beautiful you look. Those curves” he says placing his hands on your hips. “Your tits look so good in it too, they’re just sat so nicely” he says as he brings his other hand up to fondle them over the fabric. The suddenness of it making you jump a little.
He massaged the softness of your skin, he pushed his body against you letting you feel how hard he was. You let out a soft moan at the feeling of his touch, the feeling of his cock. “And the nice thing about dresses is that I can see those sexy thighs of yours.” He says letting the hand from your ho caress at the plush skin. “And even better thing is that I can do this” he says hiking your dress up a bit to expose your panties.
His hand slid up pressing firmly on your clit. You let out a gasp before moved your panties to the side slipping his fingers under the fabric. He slid his fingers up and down your folds. You felt yourself becoming soaked as he played with you. “Look at yourself sweetheart. So beautiful. I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t think that. But actually I was trying so hard not to just jump you. Fuck. This dress just looks so good on you.” He says before pushing his fingers into your dripping core. His hand that was playing with your tits pulled down on the fabric, Letting your breast spill out.
“My beautiful girl, let me show you how much I love you. How beautiful you are to me.” He says against your ear. You could only let out a groan in acceptance. He moved his fingers into curling them as he picked his pace up a little. He left sloppy kisses to your neck sucking at it, his other hand playing with your nipples. His body rutted against you and in all the pleasure your legs started to wobble.
“Seung- I-“ you stuttered out not being able to finish your sentence.
He smiled before removing himself from you for a split second. He moved your body to face him kissing you hungrily. His hands gripped you close to him he slowly moved you backwards, letting you fall back to the bed. He got on top of you meeting your lips again. He fumbled to take his pants off as he kept kissing you not wanting to pull away. His tongue darted into your mouth wrestling with yours.
You could feel his cock now against your panties. However they weren’t there long before seungmin was pulling them off. He let his cock glide up and down your folds collecting all your wetness. You moaned into the kiss hands finding his hair deepening the kiss. You could feel the warmth from his body against yours his hands wondering lower and lower before they slid into you once more. Fingers pumping into you as his cock slid against your clit.
“Min” you said between breaths.
“Yes sweetheart?” He said pulling away.
“Please” you begged not knowing exactly what you wanted.
He hummed in response before pulling his fingers from you once more. You whined feeling the emptiness only to have seungmin pushing his tip against your entrance.
“This what you want?” He said in a teasing tone.
You nodded “yes, want you”
“Anything you want sweetheart I’ll give you” he said.
He pushed himself slowly into you savoring the feeling as your walls clenched around him. He leaned down to kiss you again as he started to move. His hips rolling into you, cock hitting so perfectly at your cervix. He started off with slow, shallow movements before picking his pace up.
“Y/n- fuck you’re so pretty” he said looking down at you. The way you looked back at him eyes already hazy lost in the pleasure made his cock twitch. His hips snapped harshly pushing him deep into you.
“Fuck!” You moaned out hands scrambling to hold onto him.
“Shit- shit” he said pulling out of you. He was so close already. He didn’t wanna cum yet, he wanted this to last longer. Needed it to last longer, needed to make you cum first.
He moved his body down you, hastily attaching his mouth to your gaping hole. He pushed his tongue in to you. Hands coming down to grip your thighs, as he ate you out like a starved animal. His nose brushed against your clit making your body arch off the bed.
“Min! Seungmin!” You almost screamed hands gripping at his pretty locks. You bucked your hips into his tongue feeling your high getting closer.
“That’s it- use me sweetheart- make yourself cum on my tongue.” He groaned. He let you move against his tongue. His cock twitching at your moans and the grip you had on his hair.
“Shit! Min- I’m- I’m cumming!” You said gripping his hair harder. Legs clamping around him as your body stuttered chasing your high. Seungmin lapped at your juices licking everything you gave him. He rode out your high letting your body settle a bit. He pulled away from your core eyes glazed. His lips glistened with your juices licking them clean.
He moved quickly hovering over you once more. He pushed himself into your sensitive cunt moving sloppily into you. “My beautiful baby. The love of my life. M’sorry for making you feel the way you did. No more. Fuck- I’ll remind you every day how much I love you” he babbled on.
You felt another orgasms sneaking up on you and as if seungmin could read your mind he moved a hand to your clit. Rubbing the overly sensitive nub in unison with his thrusts. The moans that escaped your lips drove him closer and closer to his high.
“Gonna cum for me again? Please- fuck please cum with me” he pleased. Eyes locked on yours now.
“Close Min, I’m- I’m close!” You admitted and he knew. He could feel your cunt clenching around him. Walls pulling him deeper into you.
He moved his hand once more to interlock with your hands. His body pressed against you as he rutted into you deeply. You felt his cock twitch before a guttural moan left his lips. You felt his warm cum spraying your walls coating them as his thrusts slowed a bit. The feeling of his cum mixed with the sounds he was making drove you over the edge. Fuck did he sound so hot.
Your legs gripped around him pulling him in even more before you came. The feeling making him let that sweet sound out again mixing with your own moans. Seungmins body fell to your side pulling you close to him. He wrapped his arms tightly around you kissing your shoulder softly as you both caught your breath.
You could feel his cum dripping out of you making you shiver a bit. “Y/n, if you ever feel this way again tell me ok?” He said softly.
“I will, I’m sorry” you said breathily.
“Hey, none of that don’t apologize. I’m the one that made you feel that way.” He said turning you to look at him. “I love you y/n”
“I love you to Min. So so much” you said smiling fondly at him.
“Let’s get cleaned up, don’t wanna ruin the pretty dress” he said with a smile.
“Oh yeah, I was gonna return it” you said teasingly.
“Nope. Never getting rid of it” he said with a little chuckle.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp
#stray kids#skz#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#seungmin#seungmin scenarios#seungmin drabbles#seungmin smut#seungmin fluff#stray kids smut#stray kids drabble#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#seungmin x reader#kpop smut#kpop drabble#bangchan#changbin#han jisung#hyunjin#jeongin#Lee know#Lee Felix
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On endings. 10/10
Efkar definition / The End Poem, Minecraft / Dream, DSMP / Tommyinnit, DSMP / The End and the Beginning, Ameen Rihani / Catherynne M. Valente / Fundy, DSMP / Jinx, Arcane / on Aimsey, DSMP / The End, Hélder Faife / The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry / Technoblade, DSMP / CaptainPuffy, DSMP / When I Was Done Dying, Dan Deacon / Goodbye, Dream SMP., Tommyinnit / Ozymandias, Percy Bysshe Shelley / Agatha Christie: An Autobiography, Agatha Christie / Pluto, Sleeping at Last / Griffin McElroy / The Light That Shines When Things End, I Wrote This For You / Picture of Pluto / The End Poem, Minecraft / Eret, DSMP / Minecraft End Title, Minecraft
#this one is um. Well. Things fall apart I guess and I think for most people the aftermath of the DSMP is angry or maybe it just#kinda faded out. But for me it’s sad. It’s just sad.#dsmp#dsmp: atlas#dreamwastaken#dream#eret#georgenotfound#captain puffy#hannahxxrose#tommyinnit#technoblade#aimsey#fundy#antfrost#boomerNA#seapeekay#hbomb94#badboyhalo#punz#ponk#awesamdude#discduo#do I tag dtqk LMFAO no maybe not…#karlnapity#bee duo
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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「A hundred years had passed. So, so much has changed in the world, but not as much to Kazukiー
And the golden vestiges of someone still donning an all too familiar scar, smiling on the back of his mind.」
#read tags#given how kazuki is...well he is immortal#i kinda wonder what would happen a long time after the post-series#100 years immediately popped to my head because i was listening to lyrico's kiseki no hana#everyone he knew on the island would be dead#:(#idk if kouyou is still alive#i mean most likely yeah but im not sure if he has the same blessing of eternity like kazuki#would make me fucking emotional if he doesnt#of course there are the mir children/core that keeps being born again over and over but theyre never the same person. yk#what if tatsumiya ended up sinking forever for good in the future#back to kazuki he probably had stopped aging and stuff like that (but still grows. aging =/= growing guys)#so he remained pretty much similar to how he look 100 years ago. just longer hair#i like to think he decides to grow out his hair so he keeps remembering soushi#soushi is technically still there in a way because he stays in kazukis memories#as sad as it is#bro im gonna fucking cry what if kazuki gradually forgets soushi#not in a moving on way but in a its been so long that his memories of him starts to slowly fade way#in the angstier scenario he starts forgetting soushi to the point of almost forgetting him completely#and hes traveling the world all alone again#for eternity...#(this considering kouyou doesn't have the eternity blessing)#FUCKING BAWLING#soukyuu no fafner#makabe kazuki#minashiro soushi#soukazu
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Lord, prepare me
For the shadows
For the sparrows
At my window
#pillar of truth by lucy dacus is now a takaeishi song#can't stop won't stop appropriating sad gay girl music for the birdmen agenda#one day i will make fanart for these 2 i swear#birdmen#takaeishi#takayama sou#karasuma eishi#i the anchor i'm slowly sinking into darkness yet unknown#but the fading light around me is full of faces who carry my name????#oh i tried to be a second coming and if i was nobody knew#IF MY THROAT CAN'T SING THEN MY SOUL SCREAMS OUT TO YOU#honestly in my head this is takayama's pov on eishi#like sou is so isolated and is drifting further away ready to relinquish himself to his cosmic destiny#but eishi is the only one who tries to keep him#the only one with the guts to express how much he values takayama as a real person and as a friend#while takayama seems more likable and popular it's really eishi who overshadows him as a leader and strong voice#and takayama's always had full trust in eishi he'd be down for anything he'd decide like that's his pillar of truth fr#and now this song got me angsty thinking about the possibility of sou outliving eishi in his ascendence to the cosmic divine#kinda like twilight sparkle outliving the rest of the mane 6 after also becoming a god#birdmen is just like mlp: friendship is magic fr
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idk if I've told this story before but when I went to like a camp type of thing a couple years ago, I was completely coincidentally assigned to a group that was 90% queer people. like we had one ally one homophobe and everyone else was queer, including our leaders and it was possibly the best experience of my life
i had just been through a year of having no friends, discovering my gender identity and my sexuality AND trying to solve my mental health problems for the first time, i was terrified
but it was the first time, as a queer person, that i ever had that moment of holy shit there's nothing wrong with me
i told the girls my pronouns and they instantly changed the name of the 'girls groupchat' to include me. they just went oops sorry and started using my pronouns like it was nothing. for the first time ever i actually felt normal and it was amazing, i still felt included and part of the group, i never felt weird or out of place, they just treated me like a person
and this isn't just with queerness it was also me as a person! i always felt like i was subconsciously isolated from other people just because of the way i am but these people immediately embraced that and made me comfortable like i was never a problem and they genuinely liked me and heard me
bare in mind i knew them for TWO WEEKS
i haven't spoken to any of them since but they completely changed my life and set the standard for me when i make friends and talk to new people
#i do wish i kept contact with them#sadly i have pretty bad social anxiety with texting so after we all went our separate ways i faded out#also was a little in love with one of them i mean what#listen i was unstable and she was pretty and kind DO YOU BLAME ME#i say 'camp type of thing' bc it wasn’t like a normal summer camp#its hard to explain it but yeah#also the homophobe luckily didn't say much#it wasn’t an active issue#just kinda sad yk#normally i wouldn't post this stuff but it's pride!!! i gotta post something#expect more gay rambles#i have Thoughts
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i've been too distant for a few days/a week (????) and now everyone hates me probably......
#idk i just kinda glitched and fell into a mild dissociation period O.o#im only now starting to get out of it and become less faded and more solid (this makes sense to me lol 😭)#but i havent replied or interacted with anyone p much at all so now im like#what if everyone forgot me bc i havent been capable of being social at all? 😭#i still dont feel like im back to my 'normal' state. which still isnt fully alive or present but#idk i get these phases now and then where i feel like im not connected or tethered or real and everything's fuzzy and weird#blep :p#im just sad bc i really like sm ppl & blogs on here but then i dont interact for sooo long and then im like idk :((((
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i said i liked that max didn't drop the entire season at once but i take that back. this two episodes a week thingy has me acting normal and even disinterested in one of my favourite shows. wtf
#its not the season itself mind you#ive loved every episode of it so far#i think its fucking great just like the first season#but im used to watching a show at my own pace binging or no#i finish it as fast as i can bc i cant get enough then get completely obsessed#i make a pinterest meme board i start posting on tumblr sometimes i even read a bit of fanfic#i rewatch it over and over for a month i listen to the soundtrack#but its not like that now#i tried to behave like that when the first 3 came out because i desperately wanted it to be like that again#but it kinda faded especially after ep 4 and 5 came out#i loved these episodes i did but its like i cant really completely dive in yk#i feel like ill watch the finale when it comes out then do an obligatory rewatch and then its done#and this is particularly sad because its fucking ofmd. my second favourite show on the planet#season 2 was supposed to he huge for me like in hindsight maybe not go2 level but yk#and now im just. normal about it.#i hate being normal about things#anyway. tags longer than archimedes' lever to lift the world i guess#another one for the void
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his birthday means that we are g.ladio posting like hell today
#oh man when i tell you this man is so fine-#i was not prepared for him to have his hair up post-timeskip#s/i has her hair differently as well (and some facial scars too!) but ahem#the ponytail looks really reaaly good on him 😳#ash rambles 💚#ash likes to tie it up for him and give him a kiss on the top of the head while shes at it#they spend almost all of the time during the timeskip together <3 it's not an easy time for them since... you know... everything that#happens in canon- but they are together! lots of quiet moments of holding each other after fighting daemons together like the badass power#couple that they are#oh also. ash has a pet chocobo named sage!#sage is a green chocobo and she's a sweetheart! she loves everyone except for g.ladio-#luckily post timeskip sage can now hang out with g.ladio without wanting to bite him-#g.ladio does get a pretty nasty cut on her arm from sage biting him though. it fades a bit over time + his arms are covered in tattoos but#it's there! sage bit him like that when ash comes back. so okay let's talk f.f13 s/i because i feel like i don't do that enough#she almost dies in altissia. g.ladio watches her get shot and cut up (facial scars!) and fall into the ocean and he's powerless to save her#it's pretty sad. anyways r.avus saves her (the boys have some interesting feelings about that-) and ash comes back eventually. g.ladio#apologizes to sage for not being able to save her. a while later ash comes back and sage is kinda heated- and she also doesn't mind a good#excuse to bite him. she's a good bird! really speedy and energetic! ash rides her around whenever she's not travelling with the guys#which is pretty often tbh. she spends a lot of time off on her own protecting the people from monsters and all that. but she does wear a#glaive uniform after the timeskip. man... her last words to n.octis always make me so sad. just her crying and having a hand over her heart#'thank you n.oct. i'm so happy i met you. you've been an amazing friend and...'#she looks down at the ground#'and it has been an honor to serve you my king.'#yeah. she's a pretty cool s/i! one day i'll go off about f.f13 s/i.. she's comedic relief in the first game and then boom the second game!#she's almost 50 and has a grown ass son and is a totally different person and has some very interesting thoughts about the other characters#anyways. back to g.ladiolus. his hair like that... oh man. it was ash's idea for him to tie it up in the first place and um#ma'am. thank you for your service. he looks so good- many birthday kisses for him#what a guy 😍#i think I might have a crush on him or something LMAO (<- has been in love with him and his gf for a long ass time now)
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STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!
Bleeding:
Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.
It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.
Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.
blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.
it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.
Stab wounds:
I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.
also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.
if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)
whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites
Concussion:
despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.
if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.
Fever:
you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.
ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:
sluggishness
seizures (severe)
inability to speak clearly
feeling chilly/shivering
nausea
pain
delirium
symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.
ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.
fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.
keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you
ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:
YOU DIE AT 85F
sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.
pt 2
also please stop traumadumping in the notes/tags, that's not the point of this post. it's really upsetting to see on my feed, so i'm muting the notifs for this post. if you have a question about this post, dm me, but i don't want a constant influx of traumatic stories. xox
#writing tips#writing advice#writing help#writblr#how to write#fiction writing#for writers#on writing#writing stuff#writer life
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AHG!!!!!!!!!!!
Im screaming until my throat hurts in my mind
#im so stupid n fucked up with mood swings#and i keep fucking up in my masking#like my dads not mean but hes just grumpy n blunt#so i just feel like i keep fucking up in everyday interactions#like every other sentence i say was just not the right one no matter how hard i try#like....he likes breakfast alot ok and gets sad of he sleeps too late on weekends#so i call him and he sounded upset so i tried to give an out like “oh its ok take your time” or something similar and he just louder and-#-angerier the kinder i try to be#so like what the fuck? :(#life just feels like a video game and some how im picking all the wrong dialoge options#masked? wrong. unmasked? wrong. mirror? wrong. wallflower? STILL SOMEHOW WRONG#writing those out n realizing how untrue i am to myself 95% of my time.....:')#fuck#i just reallu cant get it right#also admitidly i wanted to get out the house cus im having a bad mental episode kinda night like im warding off an anxiety attack#so it just hurts extra to be proven yet again that my dad has changed with age and now i am alone#:'(#im so sso so sad i wish i could cry with someone safe that would try to stop me just comfort me#i really really REALLY need to cry :(#but my emotions just make my dad mad......#and crying alone hurts my fucking chest so badly and usually ends in SH#i wish i could end it but im so scared of failing and pain and being a burden#i hate that im so stupid and broken i wish i was normal and could work and live in a real house :(#i just have so little hope for my future#and taking it one day at a time is for people who dont have literal Hell in there head#their*#i should let myself cry to get it out of my system but im so alone#i wish i could mentally step back and let someone else take the wheel.....#some people are mean drunks and then theres me; crying on my hands and knees scream begging to God to posses me with an Angel#i try to think that God has a plan and itll be worth it but....what if the plan is im a background chatecter and fade away?
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OUGH, these feelings of loneliness have been so strong lately.... going from having someone to talk to here n there to just radio silence kinda hurts, ngl X'D
I've done this song n dance before and IDM waking up to no messages or not having ppl close to me to chat to but still! Having a taste of closeness with ppl, only for it to be ripped out of my hands, by my choice, or theirs, or both just...... It hurts!
Thankfully I do have some great pals whom I can reach out to if needed so it's not like I am 100% alone XDD I guess I'm just trying to readjust to the current situation. And I know that I have the power to reach out to ppl and also to check out events in town to meet ppl! It's hard for me to do those things but I have the power to, gotta give myself grace and take things one step at a time, as I usually do!
I just wish it didn't hurt so badly haha!! (also this is not an invitation for ppl to dm me (unless u really want to for some reason). I just like writing down my thoughts so I can dissect them better and of course not bottle things up, etc etc)
#don't get me wrong: most of the time I adore just being in my own head and alone!#but when I wanna talk to someone about stuff that is happening.....good or bad. and having no one#THAT's when it hurts the most#doesnt help that this year was kinda just like yay more ppl to hang with- oh they either dropped me as a friend#or prefer to hang with others who are better players (for salmon at least). AH WELL#I really want to go back to the dating apps just so I can TRY to meet ppl even if it doesnt work. AND MEETUP TOO I gotta get on that#tho I do need to reach out to ppl privately to play fish game with since I tend to just wait for ppl to come to me and#thats not the way to go.... if only I was a god tier player so more ppl would reach out LSDGKNSDHG JKJK IM happy with those that do poke me#and of course chatting with ppl in servers helps too but it sucks when they arent avail or what I say gets ignored :')#BUT YE. while I AM sad over all of this.... I do have the power to make the change so hopefully the executive dysfunction allows for it#I want to think about how much I wanna live#not about how much I want to fade away and die. ya need some good ppl in life and since I dont have that in the fam. I need the friends :D#actually all of this stemmed from the realization I had on priv that I basically have no family to lean on. like. at all. no connection#or trust#and to not have any pals that can fill that role too!!! YEAH IT SUCKS! but I will try to mitigate the pain. work is easing up so I have tim#hahaha I kinda feel better typing this all out! that was the goal after all
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I hope maria got outta milford and got into a more satisfying marriage if that's what she wanted honestly
#just nuts to me to marry a guy likely out of college likely very young and stupid#back when you needed a man's permission to open a bank account#and then that man is fuckign 20 something raymond delver LMAO#i might've killed myself in that situation#all im sayin is once she's gone it's no longer MILFord am i right *is executed by firing squad*#actually kinda sad though i have a feeling both of them wanted kids and only one of them knows why they never ended up having any :|#that's like really fucked up honestly to marry someone and be like oh yea lets plan a future together i want to start a family :D#and then keep putting it off with increasingly banal excuses as the love fades from your marriage and secrets weigh heavier than the#words you do actually speak and suddenly you're middle aged and not only have you gone through life unlived but you've wasted the time of#the person you love and closed the door on her dreams too. Just saying.#EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH ROTS#mr delver i wont u...
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”Simon, you need to promise me you won’t get mad…” you said as you looked at him from the opposite side of the couch.
his brows furrowed as he looked at you, “Can’t promise, love.”
you nibbled your lip, picking at the skin on your cuticles before finally spitting it out. “I have a crush on someone!”
you’ve seen Simon in many ways - when he’s angry, sad, happy, horny and that beautiful look he gave you when he saw you on your wedding day, but nothing would’ve ever prepared you for the look you got when you said that. He looked like you hit his heart a thousand times. “Y’what?”
“I- I have a crush…and the problem is, I can’t stop staring and thinking he’s the most handsome guy. And when he stared back at me, I got butterflies and felt myself blush.”
He sat quietly, listening to you as you rambled on about your new crush…at least you were telling him and not cheating.
You let out a small sigh, “He makes me nervous and giddy; not nervous in a bad way, but nervous in a ‘I just want him to lean in and kiss me’ kinda way. Like, ‘Hey, my phone buzzed and I hope it’s him’ kinda way. And when I get ready to go out, I struggle to find the perfect outfit because I wanna look just right…”
that feeling of comfort he once had with you, his wife, was just fading away so easily. After all the shit that had happened to him, you were the last one he thought would do this to him. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head and walking off to the front door.
you got up and ran over to him, grabbing his arm. “Si, where are you going?” You looked at him, trying to figure out what made him upset.
“Away. Let y’have yer time with your new lad.” His voice was stern and full of venom. But it only got worse when he saw you crack a smile.
“Simon…no, lovie, I was talking about you! You’re the guy I have a crush on…and I know it’s gushy, but I feel like a teenager again every time I look at you. It’s your fault for being so handsome.” Your voice gentle as you cupped his face and pressed little butterfly kisses to his cheeks and nose.
he could do nothing but stand there dumbfounded. “Y’need t’find a better way of sayin’ shit, doll. Thought you were bout to leave me…” his voice got softer when he said that last bit.
your eyes softened, knowing how it sounded to him. You sank to your knees and pressed small kisses to his sweatpant clad thighs, earning a small groan from him. “Wha’re you doin’ love?”
“Apologizing…” you said, staring up at him through your lashes as you pulled his sweats down.
#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost call of duty#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost#ghost x reader#cod modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty#fluff headcanons#fluff#drabble#oneshot#smut
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So like I had a big family party a few days ago and we made mac n cheese cause I like mac n cheese a lot, but we made too much mac n cheese and had like 2 and a half trays of it left after the party
I didn't really mind cause I like mac n cheese a lot and so for the past few days I've just been eating mac n cheese for every meal and I've been loving it
But today my mom goes "we better put it in the freezer before it spoils" and I'm kinda sad about it cause what will I eat now, y'know?
So I go to take a nap and I have this like CRAZY distressing dream where I'm in this white blank void and in front of me is a glowing and floating tray of mac n cheese and I try to reach out for it but my hand just passes through it and then slowly the mac n cheese starts fading away and like I fall down to the ground straight up CRYING because I'm so sad about the mac n cheese leaving me, and I wake up with tears in my eyes and I have that like melancholic feeling of having forever lost something or someone very close to you
The meme above is an artists rendition
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🤍give up heaven: sunghoon
pairing: sunghoon x afab!reader word count: 10.6k
synopsis: when you run into your best friend's ex-boyfriend at your favorite coffee shop thinking it was just a coincidence until seeing him became a daily thing. You can't get him out of your head and start to feel guilty at the very thought of him and things take a turn when he starts making advances towards you.
genre: hockey player!hoon with small mentions of figure skater!hoon, ex-bestfriend bf!hoon, hoon's ex-girlfriend best friend, friends to lovers, slight smut.
warnings: swearing, implied sex, make-out session, fingering, jerking off, verbal fight between reader, the ex, and sunghoon, MINORS DNI. lmk if i've missed anything!
You tried to avert your eyes when you saw him walk into the coffee shop. Pulling the scarf around your neck up higher and turning your face in the opposite direction.
His voice echoed throughout the small shop, ordering his regular drink. Why do you still remember how he liked his coffee?
You slowly glanced up, his back was facing towards you, his hand reaching for his wallet from the back pocket of his blue jeans.
After paying, he stepped back from the counter. You quickly turned your head away again, praying he didn’t see you or would even notice you.
“Y/N?”
Well, shit.
There's no point in hiding now. You slowly lifted your head, seeing the soft smile on his face as he slightly leaned to the side to get a look at your face, “It really is you.”
You awkwardly smile, “Yes, it’s me.”
Get your shit together, Y/N, come on.
He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped short when his name was called, “Sunghoon! Your iced coffee is ready!”
“Be right back,” his knuckles tapped on the table, his smile growing.
You carefully watched as he got his coffee and made his way back to your table, pulling the chair across from you out and seating himself.
“How have you been?” he asked excitedly, his long fingers wrapping around his coffee, taking a small sip, “It’s been what? A year?”
You nodded, wrapping your fingers around your warm coffee, “I see you still drink iced coffee even during the winter, some things never change huh?”
Sunghoon softly chuckled, his smile just growing brighter and wider, his natural fangs peeking from his lips, “Everyone knows iced coffee is superior,” he leaned his elbows onto the table, “Your hair is longer, it looks good. You look good.”
You smiled, “Thank you, you look really good as well, Sunghoon.”
Sunghoon gave you a soft smirk and flexed his arms, “Why thank you! Been working out a lot lately.”
You rolled your eyes and took another sip of your coffee, “You really haven’t changed.”
His laugh was enough to make you laugh as well, the corners of your lips curving upwards no matter how hard you tried to push it down.
It felt like old times.
Speaking about old times…
His smile finally faded, the happy expression he once had was also gone, his face relaxing into a kinda of sad softness.
His voice trembled, “How is uhh…how is she?” his eyes darted to the corner of the table.
Oh…he’s still in love with her.
Your lips thinned into a line, trying to figure out what information was appropriate to give out.
“She’s really good.” it wasn’t a total lie.
Sunghoon nodded, the corner of his lips barely curling, “That’s… um…that’s good then. I’m glad she’s doing well.”
It broke your heart that he couldn’t even say your best friend's name. It must still hurt even after a year.
Sunghoon dated your best friend for almost three years. You remember when the two of you first met him at your college's hockey game.
He bumped into the two of you, spilling his soda all down your best friend's outfit. Oh, man was she pissed. It didn’t take Sunghoon long to convince her to let him make it up to her.
After that, they were inseparable.
Sunghoon was a part of the hockey team, but due to a leg injury, he had to sit out until he was completely healed. But that didn’t stop him from attending every hockey game to support his teammates. He even dragged your best friend along with him. Which eventually led you to tag along as well.
The three of you became that trio that was inseparable. A package deal. If you saw one of us, the other two were sure to be right behind.
Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Their relationship got toxic. They fought more than normally and on hangout days, either your best friend was missing, or Sunghoon was missing. Nothing felt right and the air between your friend group grew thick. Hard to breathe.
Sunghoon eventually stopped talking to you, and then they broke up. Your best friend stopped hanging around you and slowly stopped speaking to you as well. You figured it was due to the heartbreak, that she just needed her space. You didn’t think it would lead to your friendship slowly becoming nonexistent.
You two weren’t exactly best friends anymore, but after she healed from the breakup, she came back around. It just wasn’t the same as before Sunghoon came into the picture.
You two still barely talk, and barely see each other, but still kept that contact and hung out when you could.
You never understood why she pushed you away, but the heart does crazy things when it’s hurting.
And you haven’t seen Sunghoon since a couple of months before the breakup, until today. A little over a year later.
“Well,” Sunghoon’s voice brought you out of your deep thoughts, “I have to get going, need to catch practice.”
Your eyebrows raised, “You’re playing still?”
Sunghoon’s doctor finally cleared him to get back on the ice after almost a year of being off it, but due to the team setup they had at that time, he wasn’t able to fully rejoin the team again until around the time of the breakup. He was able to practice and attend the games as a sub if needed, but it was enough for him to keep his mind busy for a little bit.
You’ve secretly kept up with the scores of the hockey team, knowing Sunghoon was back on the team officially. But after a while you quit. Clearing Sunghoon from your life completely.
Sunghoon nodded, “Hell yeah I’m still playing, who do you think I am?” he teased, standing up from the table, “But, I am actually not going to hockey practice.”
The surprise must have shown on your face because Sunghoon was giggling like a child at your confusion, “I joined an ice skating team as a figure skater.”
You sat up straighter in your chair, “Since when?!”
“Since…well.” He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth, it was all you needed to know.
Being a sub on the hockey team eventually wasn’t enough for Sunghoon to keep his brain busy after the breakup. Until he was officially able to play again, he needed another distraction. Come to find out he loved figure skating as much as hockey, deciding even after being fully back on the hockey team, he kept up with figure skating as well.
You slowly nodded, “I am really glad you’re doing well for yourself, Sunghoon.”
He softly nodded back, “Thank you, Y/N. I have to get going, the ice is calling my name.”
You waved at him as he walked to the entrance, him turning back around as his back touched the doors, “It was nice seeing you!”
You agreed.
—
Your best friend sighed as another customer walked into the smoothie shop, holding up her index finger towards you as she walked away and up to the register, taking the customer's order.
You leaned against the counter, moving the seat back and forth with your hips like a child.
“Okay,” she said, returning to you after the customer's smoothie was made, “What were you telling me?”
“Just that the materials you missed in bio today weren't too hard. I took extra notes for you,” you pulled into your backpack taking out the pretty iced blue folder, “Here they are!” you pulled out the stack of notes you made for her, her taking them and holding them to her chest.
“Thank you SO MUCH YN!!!” she placed the papers in a drawer under the counter, “I could kiss you right now. What would I do without you?”
Probably survive perfectly fine since you had no problem cutting me off after you and Sunghoon broke up.
You shrugged with a smile, “Fail bio.”
She laughed and nodded, “Yeah, probably. But I have you to help keep me in the loop!”
You honestly hated how the two of you could go DAYS sometimes even WEEKS without talking or seeing each other yet she has no problem acting as if nothing ever happened.
But she was all you had, so you played along with her.
You dropped your backpack onto the floor, wondering if telling her the other thing was right or wrong.
You decided to anyway.
“I also saw Sunghoon the other day.”
Her movements slowed and her smile faded, “Is that so?”
You nodded, “We talked for a couple of minutes, but he had to go practice, so it was a short moment.”
You could see the gears were turning in her brain, “Practice? Guess he was able to get back on the team after all. That’s good at least.”
“He actually is figure skating now too, that’s where he was headed.”
Your best friend’s eyes widened, “Wow, I did not see that one coming.”
You agreed, “It was definitely not something I’d expected Park Sunghoon to do, but I guess it kinda suits him.”
Your friend nodded, seeing how deep in thought she was.
You wanted to ask her to speak her mind, but unfortunately, the two of you weren’t that close anymore.
A couple more customers walked in, sending her back away from you.
You stood from the seat, grabbing your things, giving her a smile and wave as you walked out. You only came to give her the notes she missed anyway.
Usually, when she skips out of class she gets the notes from one of the boys she’s secretly messing around with. But every blue moon she asks you.
You guessed it was the only way to keep in contact with you in some way.
—
You quickly stepped into the coffee shop, brushing off the slight snow from your hair, ready to get a sip of your favorite coffee.
The barista noticed you, giving you his famous thumbs-up, “Already on it YN!”
You gave him a thumbs-up back. You were so happy you discovered this place, it became one of your comfort places to be. It’s quiet enough to do homework or read, the coffee is amazing and all the baristas know you and your order. What isn’t there to love?
“Fancy seeing you here again,” you whipped around, seeing Sunghoon sitting in your usual spot, a book in his hands and his iced coffee half empty on the table.
Your brain spasmed, what was he doing here again?
You just nodded, “You’re in my spot.”
Sunghoon shrugged, “I can move?”
Well shit, now you feel bad.
You shook your head, “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind sharing.”
Sunghoon smiled, eyes flickering back down to his book.
The barista called your name, turning your attention back to him, “Thank you, Taehyun.”
His sharky smile warms your heart, “Always,” his eyes darted over to Sunghoon then back to you, “Do you know him?”
You sighed, “Yes, he’s an old friend.”
Taehyun nodded, his tongue sliding into his cheek, “He’s been here every day since the last time you were here.”
You froze, narrowing your eyes, “Honestly?”
Taehyun nodded again, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay and that he wasn’t some creep.”
You smiled softly at him, “No need to worry. He’s harmless.”
Taehyun gave you a half smile, then walked off to finish working.
You sat down in front of Sunghoon, his eyes not leaving the page of his book.
You cleared your throat, taking a sip of your coffee.
Sunghoon glanced up for a second at your throat clearing, “Yes?”
You cupped your hands around your coffee, “What?”
Sunghoon sighed and closed his book, setting it on the table, “You only clear your throat like that when you have something to say.”
Damn, does he remember the small details of you?
“You remember that?”
Sunghoon chuckled, picking up his iced coffee, “YN, I’ve known you for almost, what? five years? You think I’d just forget everything?”
Well, no…just didn’t think you’d care enough to remember. you didn’t date me after all.
All you could do was shrug, “My barista told me you’ve been here every day,”
Sunghoon raised a brow as he sipped on his coffee, finishing it off, “Your barista?”
“Not like that!” you snapped quietly, wishing you could jump over the table and tackle him, “I’m a regular here, Taehyun just happens to be the barista who always takes care of me.”
Sunghoon mouthed out a “wow” and leaned back into the seat, “First name bases too?”
“Sunghoon,” his name falling off your lips felt foreign, mostly since you were speaking to him, “Why are you here every day?”
He thinned out his lips into a line, eyes looking down at his Converse, “Been looking for a good coffee shop to regular, and this one surprised me when I first came in here. You just so happened to be here the day I decided to try it.”
That sounds…completely true. This coffee shop is incredible. You don’t blame him for wanting to become a regular. It was all a coincidence.
You sipped down your coffee, feeling the stare of his eyes, “Yes?”
“So back to Taehyun being your barista,”
You laughed, kicking your leg into his shin, “Stop!”
Sunghoon’s fangs slipped out as he smiled.
—
Sunghoon’s appearance in the coffee shop became more regular, just like he said.
Taehyun knew his order by heart, just like yours, and would always have it ready the moment he saw Sunghoon walk in.
You had to admit, it felt good having him back in your life. It felt like old times when you’d hang out when your best friend was too busy working. You three all used to be so close.
Yet you didn’t have the heart to tell her you were even hanging out with Sunghoon again. It technically wasn’t even hanging out, you two just happened to sit, talk, and drink coffee together at your favorite coffee shop.
Another week has flown by with Sunghoon making his appearance at the shop.
You laughed together over a book you both read, Sunghoon feeling Taehyun’s eyes on you.
You stood up, “I’m heading to the bathroom,”
Sunghoon nodded, his eyes darting to Taehyun, watching him as he watched you walk to the bathroom. A small sigh escaped Taehyun’s lips.
Taehyun then made eye contact with him, and the look he was giving Sunghoon made him clench his fists.
Your return to the table had Sunghoon relaxing, and Taehyun returning to work.
Sunghoon couldn’t take his eyes off you. He felt so at home in your presence. His mind telling him to tell you the truth, that you deserved to know. But the moment you locked eyes with him and the corners of your lips curled into that precious smile, he couldn’t do it.
“What’s up?” you asked, “You’re deep in thought?”
“Ahh…” Sunghoon tried to collect his thoughts, then quickly smiled, settling on the topic change, “What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” you thought about it, “I just have class, why?”
“Come to my hockey practice tomorrow night.”
That invite took you by surprise, “Huh?”
Sunghoon smiled even more, leaning forward on the table, “Come watch my practice tomorrow. Please?”
You tried to find an excuse to get out of it, but nothing came to mind. How could you just show up to your best friend’s ex-boyfriend’s hockey practice?
“The guys would love to see you, I bet.” Sunghoon mentioning his friends only hit you in the heart harder, “Come on, YN, just like old times.”
Without a second thought, you agreed. Not knowing exactly why, but feeling as if it would be okay. It was just hockey practice.
He jumped up from the table, “I have to get to figure skating practice, is your phone number still the same?”
You nodded, heart beating faster at hearing he still had your phone number.
With a jump away from the table and a small skip, he said, “I’ll text you the details!”
—
Sunghoon twirled his hockey stick in hand, eyes darting to each entrance of the stadium.
Heeseung skated past, quickly stopping in front of him, eyes also following each entrance, “Brother, what are you looking at?”
Sunghoon snaps his attention at Heeseung, his mouth open to speak, but no words coming out.
“He’s waiting for YN,” Jay says as he also skates past, skating a circle around them.
Sunghoon rolled his eyes, “Dude.”
Jay smirked, “Should’ve kept your mouth shut.”
“Clearly, that’s the last time I tell you anything,” Sunghoon said, sliding his helmet over his head.
Heeseung raised a brow, “Wait you’re speaking to YN again?”
Sunghoon just nodded, “Yeah. We umm, ran into each other at a coffee shop.”
“Yeah, “ran into each other”, we’ll call it that.” Jay teased, leaning forward on his hockey stick.
“Shut the fuck up or I’ll kick your stick from you and laugh when you hit the ice,” Sunghoon said with a snarky smile.
“Woah now!” Jay said, holding his hand up, “You’re a figure skater now, can’t be talking like that anymore.”
Sunghoon skated forward, Jay also scooted backward sticking his tongue out.
Heeseung seemed to be the only one who was concerned, “How did the three of you make up?”
Sunghoon awkwardly chuckled, “You mean the two of us…”
Heeseung looked at his friend confused, “You and—“
“No,” Sunghoon quickly shook his head, “We aren’t talking.”
Heeseung just nodded, finally putting the pieces together, “Sorry for assuming that you rekindled with both of them.”
Sunghoon swung his hockey stick around again, “Just YN. And from what I’ve noticed, the two of them aren’t really friends anymore.”
It didn’t take long for Sunghoon to figure it out. The way it used to be, his ex would always talk about you, and you would always talk about his ex. The two of you were inseparable. A package deal. With one you got the other. And the fact that you haven’t once brought her up over the last week that he’s started talking to you again, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she also pushed you away after the breakup.
Heeseung just nodded, “Do you blame them?” Sunghoon just looked at him, not knowing what to say, “YN doesn’t know, does she?”
Sunghoon shook his head, “No, and she won’t.”
“Hoon-“
“I am not ready to tell her,” Sunghoon snapped, “I finally got one of my closest friends back, I don’t want to cross that bridge.”
Heeseung sighed and nodded, “Okay man, just don’t get butt hurt when it backfires at you.”
Sunghoon knew this secret could backfire on him, he wasn’t stupid. But it was worth the risk.
“I’m going to see if she texted me,” he said, “Just in case she said he couldn’t make it.”
Heeseung watched as Sunghoon skated off towards his gym bag.
Dropping his gloves to the ice and carefully stepping off the ice, he sat down on the bench, opened his gym bag, and pulled out his phone, quickly finding your messages and seeing you’ve read his last text.
Sunghoon felt stupid getting his hopes up. What did he think inviting you would do?
I just wanted her back in my life again.
He tossed his phone back in the bag and stepped back onto the ice, pulling his gloves back onto his hands.
I’m so fucking pathetic.
Sunghoon adjusted his gloves, now waiting for practice to start.
Jay whistled at him, causing a glare to shoot from his eyes.
Jay tilted his head up, “Look.”
Sunghoon turned back around, seeing you walking in, your arms wrapped tightly around you.
He couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his face, immediately skating in your direction.
“You made it!” he said, sliding his helmet from his head.
You smiled back, nodding, “Sorry that I am a bit late, my class got out later.”
You walked up to the wall Sunghoon was now leaning against, his helmet resting on top of it.
“You showed up, and that’s all that matters,” Sunghoon couldn’t hide how happy it made him that you were here right now.
You nodded again, smiling wide back at him, “It’s cold as balls in here though!”
Sunghoon pointed over to his gym bag, “I have my hockey varsity jacket in my bag, wear it if you get too cold.”
“I am definitely going to wear it,” you shivered, “I forgot how cold it gets in here.”
The memory of the last time he saw you replayed in his mind, it was during a hockey game. His team was a couple of points away from winning. Sunghoon and his ex were too busy fighting off on the side of the bleachers, her stomping away not wanting to finish the conversation. His eyes wandered over to you, the sad look you gave him broke his heart even more. Your heart was also breaking due to watching your closest friends tear each other apart. All Sunghoon could do was shove his hands into his hoodie pocket and walk out of the stadium.
He watched as you walked over to his things, your hands immediately reaching for the jacket and sliding it onto your body.
Oh fuck I am a goner.
Sunghoon loved the way you looked in his jacket. The way it loosely hangs against your body. How cute it made you look. His heart dropped onto the ice.
Your body started warming up a bit more, sliding your hands into his jacket pockets. Your eyes traced the other players on the ice. Jay and Heeseung waving at you. You waved back. Gosh, you couldn’t remember the last time you saw either of them.
You’ve seen them out and about around the college, but not so personally like this. It’s been way too long.
Sunghoon skated back over to his friends and teammates.
“It’s weird seeing her again,” Jay said, watching you sit down, eyes wandering around the stadium, “Mostly seeing her without her twin at her hip. She looks really good though,”
Jay was lucky Sunghoon was in a better mood than earlier, or else he’d be wiping the ice with Jay’s face, “Can we not talk about my ex, please, and she does look good. Eyes off.”
Jay wanted to make a smart remark, but with a quick look at Sunghoon and then you, he decided to leave the teasing off the ice, giving him a nod, “Yeah, sorry man.”
Their coach finally started practice.
It went by in a flash. You waited outside the stadium for Sunghoon, his jacket still wrapped around your body.
“Well, what did you think of our practice?” Sunghoon said, sneaking up on you, and giving you a little jolt.
“It was very interesting, you played well.”
Sunghoon walked closer to you, his hands reaching up to fix the collar of his jacket, his cold fingers brushing against your skin, “My jacket looks really good on you.”
Your heart sank.
Is he…flirting???
“Oh, shoot!” you tried to play it off as if you forgot, wanting to find an excuse for the blush on your face to go away after his comment, reaching to take the jacket off, “Here, I forgot I was still wearing it.”
Sunghoon grabbed your hands and shoved them back at your side, “YN, keep it.”
“But—“
Sunghoon interrupted, “It’s okay! I promise! Just keep it for now, okay? I have another jacket I can wear.”
You nodded, feeling your body getting hot from his hands still touching yours.
Why are you getting so bothered??? You’ve known him for years. Why is every little thing he’s doing affecting you???
“Anyways,” he said, finally letting go of your hands, “We have a game this weekend, you’ll come right?”
You wouldn’t mind going, it could be an excuse to get you out of your apartment for once and not just sit at the coffee shop either.
“Yeah, I’ll come.”
Sunghoon smiled, his eyes darting to the ground to try and hide just how big he was smiling, “I’ll save you a ticket.”
—
You walked into the shop, giving Taehyun a smile and wave. Giving you the normal thumbs up.
You dropped your backpack to the floor at your normal table and slumped down into the seat with a sigh.
“Rough day?” Sunghoon asked, his yellow highlighter moving across his textbook.
You nodded, “I forgot to set my alarms last night, so I woke up late and got to class late. On top of that I had to take double the notes because…” you stopped yourself, not wanting to bring your best friend's name into the mix.
Sunghoon stopped highlighting, he didn’t even have to hear her name to know what you were going to say, his eyes slowly rising to meet yours, “You’re still taking notes for her?”
You just shrugged, “Maybe…”
“YN,” he dropped his highlighter into the textbook, “You need to stop doing that.”
You didn’t know how to respond. Mostly because you knew he was right. She was just using you at this point.
Taehyun interrupted your thoughts by setting your coffee down in front of you, “Tae! I could have gotten it from you.”
His cute sharky smile came out, “Don’t worry about it, I don’t ever get to bring the coffee to you. Plus I needed to get away from behind the counter.”
You smiled up at him, “Thank you.”
Taehyun rested his hand on your shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze, “It’s no problem at all, YN.”
Sunghoon clenched his fists under the table, eyes burning holes into his hand that was touching you.
As Taehyun walked away, he locked eyes with Sunghoon as if to say “Your move now, buddy.”
Oh, I’ll play your game, Taehyun.
“He totally has a crush on you.” Sunghoon spat out.
You softly giggled, “Who? Tae? No,” you giggled again, taking a sip of your coffee, “He’s just a good friend.”
Sunghoon rubbed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, eyes darting back to Taehyun who was now back behind the counter, “I can see it in the way he looks at you.”
You rolled your eyes. He sounds jealous.
You glanced up at him, seeing how he kept his eyes on Taehyun.
Oh, he’s…actually jealous??? No. It couldn’t be. He’s still in love with his ex.
You shook the thoughts from your head, deciding to change the subject, “Are you ready for the game tomorrow?”
Sunghoon’s eyes made their way back to you, his face relaxing and a small smile formed, “Yes, you’re still coming…right?”
You nodded, “I wouldn’t miss it,” you took another sip of your coffee, “Wasn’t able to see you play back then, so I’m excited to see you play now.”
Hearing you say that warmed his heart. Knowing you’ll be in the crowd cheering for him and only him. He had to make sure he was on his ‘a game’ tomorrow.
“Make sure to wear my jacket tomorrow,” Sunghoon gave you a wink, picking his highlighter back up and continuing where he left off.
You giggled, “Why? What will your jacket do? Bring good luck?”
Sunghoon chuckled, stretching the highlighter across the words on the textbook, “It has an S.H. and my last name on the back,” he glanced back up at you, “And you know, yeah, you wearing my jacket will bring good luck. You’ll be my good luck charm.”
Sunghoon took notice of the slight blush on your cheeks, his smile growing more as he looked back to his textbook.
God, she’s so cute.
You tried to slow your heart rate. Why is he making you feel like this?
“It’s getting kinda late,” Sunghoon’s voice pulls you from your thoughts, “Are you hungry? Want to grab a bite to eat? Then I can walk you to your apartment?”
You nodded.
You weren’t sure what these butterflies in your stomach meant, but it made you feel guilty for even having them.
—
It was game day and your nerves were all tied together in a knot.
You took one last look at your outfit in your mirror, fingers twisting in the belt loops of your ripped skinny jeans, pulling them up further above your hips.
Your college’s hockey team t-shirt had a small hole at the bottom of the shirt, which was to be expected. This was an old shirt and you haven’t worn it since the last game you attended…the night Sunghoon pushed you out of his life.
Your black high-top vans looked like they’ve seen better days, but looked good with the outfit.
Grabbing a hair tie from your vanity, you pulled your long hair back, wrapping the tie around it, just to pull it out right after.
You tried different hairstyles, not liking a single one.
Why do I even care how my hair looks?
You settled for a ponytail, deciding it’s what matched the outfit better.
The last final piece was Sunghoon’s jacket, pulling it over your shoulders. You turned around in the mirror, glancing back to see his initials on the back.
“You’ll be my good luck charm.”
You caught yourself smiling at the memory, bringing the hems of the jacket up to your nose, breathing in the smell.
It still smelt like him, even after you’ve had it for the last couple of days. The familiar smell of blackberry and floral filled your senses.
His scent brought you comfort, the knot of nerves unraveling and disappearing.
While the nerves found their way out, other feelings crept their way in.
Your heart raced faster, thinking about the smile on Sunghoon’s face he’d have when he saw you.
The more thoughts of him that flooded your brain, the more guilty you felt.
He’s your best friend’s ex…you can’t be thinking about and getting so giddy over him.
You slapped your hands to your face, hoping it would be enough to kick those feelings out.
Unfortunately, they didn’t.
You sat down at your vanity, pulling open one of the drawers, revealing a photo booth picture strip of yourself, Sunghoon, and your best friend.
You held the fragile paper in your hands, staring at each set of photos one by one. Eyes locking onto Sunghoon.
You didn’t feel this way about him back then, so why now all of a sudden does he have your stomach tied in knots?
His smile in the photos sent your heart racing. The way he was looking at your best friend, you couldn’t help but wish he looked at you like that.
You quickly shoved the photo strip back into the drawer, slamming it shut.
You stood from the chair, grabbed your phone and keys, and walked out of your room.
By the time you showed up at the stadium, the opposing team and Sunghoon’s team lined up on each side of the rink doing their warmups.
Your eyes searched for him, seeing the number 23 skating by quickly, him swinging the hockey stick, sending the puck flying into the goal.
Even though it was just a practice shot, you clapped anyway.
Sunghoon skated back into line, eyes wandering the crowd until he found you. Your smile sends butterflies in his stomach fluttering about.
God, you look so good right now. The way your hair was pulled back, the way your thighs peeked out from the rips of your jeans, and how perfect his jacket looked on you.
Sunghoon never let his ex wear that jacket, it was so special to him, so much that only he wanted to wear it. But it was so different with you.
He gave you a wave, letting you know that he does indeed, know you’re here.
The game finally started, and the butterflies did not calm down one bit. He had to do well in this game. He couldn’t disappoint you.
Heeseung patted his back, “Calm down buddy, you’re our best player. Can’t have you tapping out on us.”
Jay agreed, “This isn’t even the first game of the season, what’s got you so worked up all of a sudden?”
“YN is here,” Niki, one of the only freshmen on the team, teased.
Sunghoon shot the younger one a glare, “Brother, you don’t want to tease me right now.”
Niki smirked, “Man, I know enough about your life and I barely have been on the team.”
Jay slapped Sunghoon’s shoulder, “Just ignore the kid, he’s just a little silly.”
Niki agreed, “Just a little bit.”
Sunghoon waved his teammates off, “I am fine, my nerves have nothing to do with YN being here.”
His friends looked at him with telling faces, they knew he was lying. Knew he was full of shit. But deciding to let it go.
The game went on, each of the teams scoring left and right.
You sat on the edge of your seat, hands clasped together at your chest. There were five minutes left on the clock, your team was only a point ahead.
Your eyes followed Sunghoon on the ice, you could tell by his body language he was stressed. The way he stretched his arms out over his hockey stick behind his neck was enough to tell how absent-minded he was in this moment, the only thing he could focus on was getting one last point. Swinging his stick back down onto the ice, slightly bending over, ready for anything.
Jay passed the puck to Niki, pushing the puck across the rink, Sunghoon positioned himself, screaming for Niki to pass the puck towards him.
Niki passed it quickly to him. Sunghoon grabbed the puck, pushing his feet and legs as quickly as he could against the ice, the only thing on his mind was to keep the puck against the stick.
As he neared the goal, the goalie prepared himself for Sunghoon to make a shot.
Sweat dripped down the side of his face, hands gripping tighter on the stick as he lifted it from the ice and puck.
You stood to your feet, hands hovering over your chest, gripping at the fabric of your shirt.
Sunghoon swung the stick using all the force possible and hit the puck, watching as the black disc flew across the ice.
The world seemed to go in slow motion for Sunghoon, his eyes wide as the anticipation of waiting for the puck to reach the goalie, it sliding gracefully between the goalie's legs, the guy barely missing to stop it.
Sunghoon pivoted, stopping his motion on the ice. His eyes locked onto the puck, confirming it hit the net.
He turned his body towards his teammates, the world around him going back to normal speed. The crowd cheered, and his teammates surrounded him, slapping their hands against his chest, shoulders, and back. The clock hit its final second, the buzzer sounding. The game was over. We won.
We won..!!
Sunghoon started screaming and cheering with his teammates, hands slapping them as they continued to slap him.
You rushed down to the wall, the upper half of your body leaning over it, cupping your hands to your mouth, “Sunghoon!!!”
He didn’t hear you over the screams of his mates and fans. But it felt as if he knew you were waiting for him.
His eyes found you and started pushing past his teammates, sliding his helmet off and handing it and his stick off to Heeseung.
Using what was left of his leg strength, he pushed himself towards you quickly.
He stretched his arms up in the air, shouting, “WE DID IT!!”
You couldn’t stop your smile from falling, not when Sunghoon looked as happy as he did at that moment. His fangs were on full display from how wide he was smiling.
His body crashed against the wall, his gloved hands wrapping around your waist, connecting his torso to yours.
His wet sweaty hair tickled your cheek as he pulled you into a hug. The first hug you’ve received from him since…well the breakup.
You patted his back, leaning your head against his, “You played so well! I am so proud of you!”
You’ve never gotten to tell him how exactly proud of him you were. For all the years you’ve known him, he’s always given his one hundred percent, but because of the past circumstances, you weren’t able to voice how proud you were of him, your best friend wouldn’t have allowed it.
Hearing you tell him how well he did was enough to risk everything. It did something so deep to his heart that he couldn’t hide it anymore.
It’s now or never Park Sunghoon, just do it.
“I told you. I told you that you were my good luck charm,” he whispered in your ear, brushing his cheek against yours as he moved his head up. Brushing his nose against yours softly before moving in, pressing his lips against yours quickly.
So fast that you didn’t have time to process it as his hands left your waist and he was skating backward away from you. He bit his bottom lip as his eyes stayed locked with yours.
Your fingertips touched your lips, your ears blocking out all sound as the rest of your senses focused on the man in front of you.
He kissed you…Oh my god, he kissed you!!!
Sunghoon gave you a wink and said “Meet me by my car!” then turned back around, skating to his teammates, all of them huddling together.
—
He pressed you up against his front door, using your body to completely shut it, his fingers flipping the lock as his tongue invaded your mouth, your brain going fuzzy.
You met him at his car after the game and convinced you to have dinner with him and the team.
You sat beside him in the booth at this fancy diner, his arm was wrapped around your shoulder, his fingers softly rubbing against your arm. Once the food arrived at the table, his arm went from being behind you to his hand resting on your thigh, his fingers sliding between the rips of your jeans, squeezing the plush skin.
His touch was driving you crazy, and with your new emotions towards him, it made his contact with your skin make you hot and bothered.
Sunghoon couldn’t keep his hands off you, and you liked it. Liked the attention he was giving you.
Liked it so much that you didn’t even think twice when he drove right past the street of your apartment building and pulled into his apartment building.
He held both your hands tightly, his smile so bright as he guided you up the stairs to his apartment. Soft laughs leaving his lips at just the thought of being with you.
He was dying to kiss you again. Like properly kiss you.
He wanted to kiss you so bad that the moment you were inside his apartment, his hands and body were pressed against yours, using his weight to push you against his door. Lips connecting to yours as if he were running out of oxygen and your lips were the sole source of air.
His hands moved from your hips, sliding up your torso, fingers grazing against your breasts and up to your neck, hands cupping your jaw.
You kissed him back forcefully, pushing your tongue between his lips, rubbing the muscle against his own, mixing your saliva.
You tasted so sweet to him. He couldn’t get enough.
Sunghoon went to pull away, wanting to attach his lips to your neck, but you weren’t ready for his lips to leave yours.
You caught his bottom lip between your teeth, biting a bit harder than you expected.
Sunghoon hissed out in pleasure, rolling his hips against yours, his clothed hard length pressing at your heat.
You released his lip, his hands taking yours and lifting them above your head, pinning you against the door, his lips attaching themself to your neck, “Keep acting up baby and I just might have to punish you.”
His words sent chills down your spine as he left open mouth kisses on your neck. Your imagination running wild at what these punishments would be, but being too afraid to test his limits.
Sunghoon loved hearing the soft moans escaping your pretty little mouth. It was music to his ears.
He placed his leg right between yours, using it to spread them further apart, giving him more access to press his cock against you.
You were shaking, wanting to completely feel him against you, skin to skin.
“Hoonie,” you whispered in his ear, “Please,”
Sunghoon reached down, cupping the back of your thighs and lifting you up, wrapping your legs around him. His hands sliding to cup your ass, lips finding yours again.
“Say less princess,” he mumbled against your lips as he carried you to his bedroom.
He laid you down gently on his bed, his right hand stayed on your thigh, squeezing it tightly to keep it wrapped around him as his left hand flew to his shirt, fingers working their magic at the buttons.
You became impatient, sending your hands to help undress him.
You slid the fabric off his shoulders and down his arms, your fingers feeling every muscle as they traced down his skin and off his body.
Your eyes took a moment to appreciate his body. You already knew he worked out, but good lord was his toned, buff body beautiful.
Sunghoon kissed you again, his hands sliding his jacket off your body then finding their way under your shirt and up and over your head.
He worked with the button of your jeans as you worked with his.
He slid his jeans and underwear down together, leaving him completely bare to you.
His fingers looped between your jeans and panties, lifting your hips up as he pulled them off your body.
“Fuck, YN,” he moaned out, hands snaking underneath you to unclasp your bra, your breasts falling to their natural place once the material was on the floor. His eyes looked your bare body up and down, before laying his body on top of yours, “You’re so beautiful.”
Your fingers tangled in his hair when he kissed you again, your tongues dancing together in perfect rhythm, his hand sliding down your body and stopping at your thigh to pull it back over his waist.
Sunghoon was completely turned on just by the skin-to-skin contact, by just feeling your pretty legs wrapped around him.
He rolled his hips, rubbing his dick against your clit, his hand fumbling at his nightstand drawer for his box of condoms.
You woke up that next morning with the sun shining through his bedroom window.
Sunghoon had his head on your chest still fast asleep.
His arm was wrapped around your waist, the bedsheets were tangled up between yours and his legs. His leg hung out from the sheets and they hung at his hips, his bare back exposed.
Your heart raced at the site in front of you.
Did this actually happen?? I am not dreaming?
Your hand touched his bicep, fingers softly moving up and down his arm.
Sunghoon moved his head up, tucking it in your neck, arm tightening around you. He was still fast asleep.
Guilt washed over you once again. You just had sex with your best friend's ex-boyfriend. She would kill you both if she knew what happened last night.
Did you regret it? Absolutely not. The sex was perfect. Sunghoon is perfect. But that still didn’t stop the thoughts that it shouldn’t have happened.
Would you do it again? Regardless of these thoughts? Also yes.
Your relationship with Sunghoon was different now. You had deep feelings for him. And the fact that he kept inviting you over, inviting you to his practices and games, asking to see you after classes, and randomly showing up at your front door, proved enough to you that it wasn’t about the sex that night, that his feelings also ran deep for you too.
Your coffee shop days were more intimate, instead of sitting across from each other, you’d sit beside each other. Hands locking together as you’d drink your coffees.
He would be waiting outside your apartment door every single morning to drive you to class.
You would cheer him on from the bleachers at every practice, and have dinner with him afterwards.
The sex got more intense the more comfortable you both got. You saw a whole new side of Sunghoon in the bedroom. A side you never thought you’d ever see or even thought about seeing until recently.
He explored every inch of your body, his fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. Shoving his fingers in your mouth as he pounded into you from behind. Bruises were left on your hips from how his fingers would grip your skin.
You got more bold too. From being his little submissive princess to a dominant queen. The way you’d jerk your hand up and down his cock sending his head flying back, body shaking from your touch as you straddled him.
Sunghoon became a part of your daily life, just like he was all that time ago.
You showed up to every game wearing his jacket, being that good luck charm you knew you were to him. Everything felt right.
—
Sunghoon wrapped his arms around you, pulling you down onto your couch with him, “Babe, cuddle me! I am touch starved!”
You rolled your eyes at him, trying to wiggle your way out of his grip, “We just had sex, yet you’re still touch-starved?”
“Obviously!” he nuzzled his face at the nape of your neck, hands gripping the hem of your shirt, “Let’s have sex again.”
“Hoonie,” you giggled at the feeling of his lips kissing your neck, “You have practice in thirty minutes, you need to get ready soon.”
Sunghoon groaned against your neck, but he knew you were right.
Sunghoon went to propose skipping practice tonight but got distracted by your phone ringing, eyes darting over to it, being the nosey guy that he is, and seeing…his ex’s name on the caller ID.
His smile faded, why would she be calling you?
You sighed at seeing your best friend's name on your phone, finger-hitting the decline.
Calling her your best friend seemed pointless now. Right before things kicked off between you and Sunghoon, she found another boy toy to mess around with, completely ignoring you. You’ve also tried many times to hang out with her, to go by and see her at her job, to invite her over to do homework, to try and just hang with her when Sunghoon was busy, yet all she did was ignore you. So the fact she’s hitting you up now only means she needs something from you. And to say you were exhausted from it would be an understatement.
Maybe it was karma for keeping your relationship with Sunghoon a secret from her. But you also knew you couldn’t tell her. At least not right now.
You felt bad declining the call, deciding to shoot her a quick text saying you were busy in the shower and couldn’t answer the call just for her to reply saying it was fine, but was wanting the notes from class today and then sent a smiley face :)
Sunghoon shook his head, “Please don’t.”
You set your phone down, not responding to her, “Don’t what?” you knew the answer, but tried to play dumb anyways.
“YN, stop playing this game with her, she’s using you.”
You knew it was true, but hearing it come from his mouth didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less.
Sunghoon bit his lips in a way to keep himself calm. He hated that she was doing this to you. He saw firsthand how badly the breakup affected you too. You lost both of your best friends because of it. But the shitty part was you weren’t supposed to lose her, but you did anyway. She was supposed to stay by your side but didn’t.
She abandoned you. Even after she promised him she wouldn’t.
The secrets he wishes he could tell you in hopes of you cutting her off for good, but he couldn’t break that trust with her, even if she deserved it.
The only thing he could do was try and convince you in other ways.
“Baby,” he whispered, “Look at me.”
You did, shifting yourself in his lap to face him.
He tucked your hair behind your ears, “You deserve better than that. I know you love and care for her, and that she’s your best friend, but this friendship is toxic. All it is doing is hurting you.”
You looked away from his chocolate eyes and to the floor, “I know.”
Sunghoon pulled your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look back at him, “I don’t want you to hurt anymore, not just because of her, but because of me too. We both did some damage to you and I have to live with that. I am so fucking lucky you let me come back in your life. And well, I am not saying to completely cut her out of your life,” even though that is what he’s wanting, “but don’t do things like this for her anymore.”
You nodded. He was right. The only reason you kept doing things for her no matter what they were was to keep her in your life. You kept holding onto a rope that was torn a long time ago.
“Promise me,” he asked, holding up his pinky finger, “Please.”
You wrapped your pinky tightly with his, sealing the promise.
—
It was the final game of the season, if the boys win this game they move on to the championship.
Sunghoon stood with you by the wall, his hands trembling in his gloves.
He was nervous, scared even, it was written all over his face.
“Sunghoon,” you saying his name always sounded so beautiful to his ears. He looks over to you, giving a nervous smile, “It’ll be okay. You’re one of the best damn players on this team. The championship is calling your team's name!”
You could only hope your words were reaching him, helping make him feel better.
Which it did. His hand stopped trembling just from your smile. You were his good luck charm after all.
He slid his hand from his glove, cupping the side of your face, “I am the luckiest man alive to have you.”
You leaned into his hand, his thumb rubbing against your skin.
His couch blew the whistle for warm-ups to start.
“Gimme a good luck kiss princess,” he said pulling you closer to him, “It’ll give me strength.”
You giggled against his lips and pouted as he skated away, giving him a thumbs up.
Little did you know, your “best friend” was sitting in the bleachers, watching the entire thing.
The game went in a flash, Sunghoon once again scoring the winning goal.
You jumped from your seat and pressed against the wall, arms stretched out and waiting for Sunghoon to embrace himself into you, his lips crashing against yours in celebration of his win.
You stood at the end of the bleachers, eyes staring off down the hallway that led to the locker rooms, heart racing at wanting to see Sunghoon again, to be able to give him a proper hug for his win.
“OMG! You came to the game too?!”
Your heart sank at her voice, your friend connecting her shoulder to yours as she stood beside you.
Your body tensed, “Y-Yeah, it was their last game so I came to support them.”
“Hmmm,” she hummed, her hands flying to Sunghoon’s jacket, “Isn’t this Hoon’s?” She forced you around, seeing his name printed on the back.
She knows she’s got to know.
She hummed again, “Why do you have his jacket, YN?”
You shrugged, leaning back against the bleacher, “I was cold and he offered it to me I guess.”
She crossed her arms, “He never let me borrow it, weird.”
“I was freezing,” you tried to play it off, “You know how cold I can get sometimes.”
She nodded, “That’s true,” her eyes darted down the hallway, “Since when did you and Hoon start hanging out again?”
She definitely knows.
You knew it was a matter of time before she found out, but you didn’t think it would be like this.
You opened your mouth to speak, only for her face to light up with excitement and her hands clapping.
The boys finally were leaving the locker room, “Here come our winners!” she said.
Sunghoon was with Jay, the two of them doing their handshake and walking in separate directions, Sunghoon’s smile fading after looking in your direction.
“OH EM GEE!!!” she squealed, grabbing your hand and rushing you both to meet Sunghoon halfway, “You are such a star Hoonie!”
She wrapped her arms around Sunghoon’s neck, but he was quick to pull her off of him, “What are you doing here?”
You were surprised how calm he was.
“Am I not allowed to come and support you?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“You lost that right when we broke up.” he scoffed, “Why are you actually here?”
She pouted, pulling you to her side, “I missed you guys, wanted us to rekindle and be a trio again.”
Sunghoon could smell the bullshit radiating out of her mouth.
Does this bitch think I am stupid?
“Rekindle?” he chuckled, “Rekindle what? Exactly?” oh he was pissed now, “Explain yourself. Now.”
She let go of your arm, taking a step closer to him, “I miss you, Hoon.” She reached to touch his face, but he caught her arm with his hand, shoving it away from him.
“Don’t touch me.”
You didn’t know what to do or what to say, this fight didn’t involve you, it was something they had to settle.
“Hoon,” she begged, “I want you back, please.”
Sunghoon took a step back away from her, “Cut the bullshit.”
She rolled her eyes, “What bullshit?!”
“I am in a relationship,” he spat out, “I am happy.”
A laugh escaped her mouth, a laugh you’ve never heard her do before, “I know, I am not stupid,” she took a step back, wrapping her arms around you, “You’re fucking our sweet YN.”
Sunghoon’s grip on his duffle bag tightened and his jaw locked. What the fuck was she trying to pull here?
She smiled, knowing she got you both where she wanted you to be, “The fact that you’re both quiet speaks volumes, lemme tell ya.”
“What the fuck do you want?” he said through his locked jaw.
“I want to know why,” she pulled a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I want to know why you both betrayed me like this. Why my ex-boyfriend decided it was okay to fuck my best friend, and why my best friend decided it was okay to fuck my ex.”
Oh, she’s going there? Game on.
Sunghoon chuckled, “Best friend? Best friends don't abandon each other!”
“That’s rich coming from you,” she retorted.
“You abandoned her!!” he snapped.
“So did you!!” she snapped back, “You walked away just as much as I did!”
“I walked away because I cared about you! I cared about your feelings! You promised you’d stay by her side, not leave her to fight alone and use her for your own personal gain, that’s not a friendship!”
“Oh, here we go,” she laughed, “It’s always about YN.”
You wanted to speak up, to ask them what that meant, but before you could, Sunghoon was reaching for you.
He’s heard enough. He’s HAD enough. He couldn’t let this conversation continue, not when she might spill everything.
He pulled you to his side, pushing you in the direction towards the exit door, “YN, baby, let’s go.”
“How long did you think you could hide? Hmm?”
Both you and Sunghoon stopped walking.
“I’ve known for a while now,” you turned and faced her, waiting for her to finish, “You think I wouldn’t notice? Wouldn't notice either of your cars at each other's apartments?”
Sunghoon laughed, “So you’re stalking us now? That’s so fucking low.”
“How could I not? Not after I saw the two of you leaving that diner downtown a while ago,”
She’s known since the beginning.
“I thought maybe, at first, you two were just hanging out again. I minded my business. But then I thought, hmm, I should surprise visit YN. And I bet you could imagine my surprise when I pulled up to her apartment and saw your car parked there and her riding your dick on her couch.” your face flushed, embarrassed, “Maybe next time make sure your blinds are closed before fucking in the living room.”
Sunghoon sighed, pulling you closer to him. He felt like shit because of all this happening to you.
“This doesn’t excuse your shitty stalking behavior,” Sunghoon said.
She shrugged, “I only caught you by coincidence at first, the second time surprised me too. The rest I had to ask around campus to find out.”
Sunghoon was getting more pissed by the second, “YN doesn’t deserve this!!”
“You’re so right!” she clapped her hands, “She does deserve better friends, I know. We were so shitty to her. But you know what she also deserves? The truth.”
The…truth?
Sunghoon shook his head, “No, let’s go,” he tried pushing you toward the exit again, he wasn’t ready for you to hear what she was about to say.
You forced Sunghoon off you, taking a few steps back towards her, “What truth do I deserve to know?”
Mostly since Sunghoon seemed so set on me leaving just now.
Your friend smirked, “The truth about the reason why we broke up in the first place.”
Sunghoon snapped her name, “Keep your fucking mouth shut!”
You look back at him, “What is so goddamn secretive?”
Sunghoon sighed, his eyes dropping to the floor.
You looked back at her, “Well??”
“The reason we broke up was because of you.” she crossed her arms over her chest, eyes darting at Sunghoon.
“Because of me?” You couldn’t wrap your head around why, “W-what did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything, YN,” Sunghoon finally said.
“Then…why…”
“Because he’s in love with you,” you stood there frozen, “He confessed to me a few months before we broke up on how deeply in love with you he was.” she said snarky, “That he caught feelings for you early on into our relationship, but kept it hidden all those years until he couldn’t. The guilt ate him up. Plus I caught him practically eye fucking you at one of the last parties we all attended together.”
You looked back at Sunghoon, his eyes glossed over. He’s been in love with you the entire time you’ve known him?
“It’s truly sad, isn’t it?” your friend continued, “The night we fought, was me making him promise to never come near you again. Guess it worked for a while.”
“Why would you promise that!” You yelled at him, “Why would you even agree to that?!”
“Because I still cared about her!” Sunghoon shook his head, “I wanted to respect her wishes, I wanted to respect you! You had no feelings towards me whatsoever, and after the last couple shitty months of my relationship with her, I wanted you to heal and find peace with losing me, had I known she would also walk away from you, I would have never let you go.”
“Why did you stay with her as long as you did if you wanted me?” It was a shitty question to ask, but you had to know.
“Because I was already a shitty person for falling in love with my girlfriend’s best friend. I didn’t want to hurt either of you. So I kept my feelings hidden until they eventually overflowed to the point I couldn’t contain it.”
With tears in your eyes, you stomped over to him, fists hitting his chest, “Why would you leave me then?! I needed you!” you cried it all out, releasing the frustration, and he just took it, “Do you know how lonely I was when you left? How terrible I felt watching you walk away that night? I lost part of my soul.”
Sunghoon pulled you to him, “Baby I know and I am so fucking sorry I did that to you.”
You cried into his chest, fingers gripping his shirt. Too many emotions were fighting you at all once. You were the sole reason your best friends broke up, how could you not feel like shit?
You pushed yourself off him, turning back towards your friend, “What is your excuse for leaving me?”
Her facial expression tightened, “How could I have stayed? Every time I looked at you all I could remember was the fact that my boyfriend wanted you, not me.”
Fair enough. But that was also such a shotty excuse.
“Guess our friendship didn’t mean shit to you,” you scoffed, “A boy meant more to you than I did. Meant more than our lifetime of friendship.”
She had nothing to say to that, just thinned her lips in a line, looking away.
“I’ve heard enough,” you softly said, “Take me home, please Sunghoon.”
He nodded, extending out his hand for you to take it, and you did. The two of you walking away.
“Enjoy my seconds, YN.”
Oh, she did not.
Sunghoon beat you to running his mouth, “At least YN pleases me. You should see the mess she makes of me since you want to stalk us so bad.”
You bit the insides of your cheeks to keep from laughing, was their sex life that bad?
Her face turned red you could practically see the smoke coming out of her ears, “Go to hell Sunghoon! It’s where you belong!”
He chuckled, “Gladly, I’d give up every piece of heaven for YN.”
She rolled her eyes, it was always about you. It’s always been you for him.
“Oh and by the way,” Sunghoon added, “I know you cheated on me multiple times with Mark from calculus, way before I confessed my feelings for YN. So us breaking up wasn’t just because of her. Suck a dick.”
Sunghoon wrapped an arm around you, a smirk on his face as you both listened to her yelling more nonsense.
—
He drove you home and walked you into your apartment.
“I really am sorry, YN.” Sunghoon wrapped you into his arms, “I never wanted to hurt you.”
You cupped his face, thumbs wiping the tears that fell, “Don’t ever apologize, okay? You were caught in a situation.”
“It’s no excuse,” he took your hands in his, “I love you, I always have. I shouldn’t have walked away.”
You just nodded, standing on your tippy toes to place a kiss on his nose, “I love you, Park Sunghoon. You’re with me now, and that’s all that matters.”
It was true. He was so lucky to have you. To finally have you after waiting for you for so long.
Thank god he decided to try that coffee shop out.
“Was sex with her really that bad?” you asked, a giggle escaping.
He laughed too, “Yeah, never came once.”
“I guess that means I win in that department too since I make such a mess outta you,”
Sunghoon bit his lip, sliding his hands to squeeze your waist, “Keep talking like that and I’ll ruin you.”
You pressed a quick kiss to his lips then escaped his arms, running towards your bedroom, “Can’t ruin me if I make a mess of you first.”
Sunghoon chased after you, his heart pounding at the happiness on your face.
God, he really was the luckiest man alive.
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