#kind of bc playlists idk
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dear hannigram fandom, have you heard this song :
You are the wilderness inside of me
I run forever but I won’t get far
Cause if I don’t have you I’ll starve
There’s a wolf in my heart for you
it’s their goddamn love letter what the fuck i am obsessed
( shout out to the walking dead for bringing my attention to this amazing song )
#hannigram#hannibal#nbc hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram fanart#kind of bc playlists idk#Hannigram playlist#you are the wilderness#voxhaul broadcast#the walking dead
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also in terms of the bolas playlist it's fascinating to me that the songs added by each person have a slight tendency to represent a consistent aspect of bolas
like
the songs added by slime are their chaos
the songs added by philza are their rebellion
the songs added by cellbit are their rage
the songs added by baghera are their anguish
it's so fucking FASCINATING TO ME but i don't know enough music theory to elaborate lmfao this is Vibes Only
(mouse's songs i can't boil down to an easy noun which is why they aren't mentioned lmao anyway they go hard asf)
(also i went on the longest fucking unhinged elaboration in the tags lmfao i almost didn't have enough tags left to tag "long tags" at the end
(i could have even gone on longer in terms of where their characters were at entering purgatory [philza: cage for a cage; cellbit: fed worker murders; baghera: her past as a federation experiment; slime: turning into a code because of the code pretending to be his daughter] but i ran out of space and also time it's 4AM AAAAA)
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#this is a sweeping generalization btw esp for baghera's she added a WIDE variety of music#qsmp bolas#sorry i forgot that tag existed lmao#i will elaborate slightly:#slime added: find your flame; gas gas gas extended; waltz of the meatball man; foghorn sound effect#philza added: b.y.o.b.; throne; the melting point of wax#cellbit added: hayloft II; brazilian dança phonk (which roier literally played during purg while beating the shit out of bbh lmao)#baghera added: can you feel my heart; still waiting; and coincidentally she added 'it's been so long' (the fnaf song lol)#TO BE CLEAR THESE ARE GENERALIZATIONS#baghera also added the government knows [REBELLION] and oops [CHAOS]#philza added given up [ANGUISH]#cellbit added zombie [ANGUISH] and tokyo drift [CHAOS]#slime added as above so below [ANGUISH]#it's not a perfect category; ESPECIALLY for baghera's songs i want to make that so clear in these tags#HOWEVER. it is interesting.#anyway i went after lyrics for these examples but just generally when going through the playlist the first time#i kind of learned that like.#music to murder to was probably cellbit; punk millenial music was probably philza#the wackiest shit was probably slime (was shocked to find out tokyo drift was a cellbit song for this reason lmao)#baghera's i usually could only pin down bc it didn't sound like anyone else's#and mouse's added songs i could not describe the vibe if you threatened me for it but it has one#i guess the closest vibe is 'a college radio station run by anime fans' and even then it's not that close#it kinda excludes songs like the b//ad bun//ny songs#unless college anime fans are also fans of them in which case great!#IDK IT'S 4 AM I WAS JUST MAKING MYSELF SAD ABOUT TILIN I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP#shut up vic#block game brainrot#long tags
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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5 songs I’ve been listening to
Tagged by @miumiin SORRY IM DOIN THIS SO LATE LOL but ty for tagging me!!!
1. Vortex by 白鲨JAWS from Link Click
2. Prometheus also from Link Click lmao
3. 風景 by Zhou Shen
4. Duetting Solo by Mili
5. 愛のけだもの by kami wa saikoro wo furanai and tatsuya kitani
#kind of a random assortment of music haha#i keep listening to vortex on repeat bc im trying to learn it on guitar#i KNOW its gonna be my num1 song on my spotify wrapped this year lmfao#also idk anything abt goblin slayer i just like mili#i also love zhou shen that song is in my lorel playlist :’)))#Spotify
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ok but also vaguely re: the other post but also just in general like. i think it'd be super funny if like. mr jones taught ginny how to shoot ( at least enough to be somewhat familiar enough with handling them etc. ) but like just imagine mama ginny finally Having Enough and pulling a shotgun out of the backseat of her minivan,
#[ ♡ ] ── * virginia j. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦.#... she doesnt have a minivan. but the sentiment still stands-#idk its like the picture-perfect all-american stereotype kinda family on the surface that the Jones' give off. but then mr jones ofc having#the unfortunate aftermaths of being active m.ilitary in certain instances. ginny being so warm-hearted motherly nurturing etc#but also in her own right kind of hardened herself bc being a nurse / in the medical field is often fucking Horrendous & the shit u see-#but the both of them having tried incredibly hard in spite of both ends to give jesse as normal & loving & supportive of a family unit.#but i feel mr jones & vice versa with ginny - they were each others pillars in so many ways & him not being around both beats her down#& also reinforces her if that makes any sense idk#either way i just think mama ginny deserves a Fucking Gun sometimes- thats it. thats the hc. ur welcome !#( im also listening to ginnys playlist & im still so right for milf$ / stacys mom / & all the mom-cleaning-music type songs on here )
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Graziñas @zsofiarosebud pola etiqueta <333
RULES: put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people. (going to do 5 songs I've been listening to a lot at the moment)
IB3Y - Gwilym
A prop - Reïna
MERCURI I MART - Maria Hein
Anèstesia total - Al·lèrgiques al pol·len
ti ar dy ora' pan ti'n canu - Gwilym
I'll tag @minglana @no-passaran @marazt @kutyozh @chatwiththeclouds @felgueirosa @salvadorbonaparte @aroaceofthesea @alvallah and @hey-scully-itsme (and as always, if you want to do this, go ahead and tag me—I am always in search of new music 👀👀)
#it's a welsh and mallorcan indie kind of season idk man#plus anestesia total bc i'm several weeks behind on euforia and i just watched that gala a few days ago#i've been listening to so much music and it's mostly been whole albums or playlists on repeat so i wasn't sure how to make that into 5 song#mais moitas grazas <3333#(e teño que dicir que 'o querer' é unha das mellores cancións que hai no mundo 100% de acordo)#(non sei se é correcto o meu galego mais eu intentei :') algún día quero estudalo)#tag games
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how to stop crying about mushimizo
#bsd#bsd mushitarou#bsd yokomizo#vent incoming beware!!!#well... vent? idk just many tags lul :3#it's a problem especially bc i made a playlist for them#i rewatched the perfect crime arc 3 times yesterday + the episode were atsushi and kyouka get him out of jail#the mushimizo scenes break my heart#and when mushitarou writes to yokomizo in the afterlife I'M CRYING AAAAAA#he just thinks about him laughing and drops the pen and i just sdfksjdksd#he doesn't even cry#he just buries his face in his hands and i can't stop THINKING about it bc me too bro me too#thats exactly what i do when i write about my old friend (i mean i obv didn't kill her but i cut her out of my life bc she was abusive af)#and the way he seeks out the memories I FEEL YOU I FEEL YOU I FEEL YOU#“so i can always find you in a locked room?” BRUH#ahhhhhh#he's just like me fr#kind of a personal post#i'm sorry
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randomly listening to benson boone and... I think I really like his music???
#i've been in a 'listening to random new artists' kick and its actually mostly going well#listened to role model's kansas anymore album and its definitely not like a new fave but theres potential and i like a few songs enough to#add them to my playlist#though its weird bc I saw his jimmy kimmel/fallon/idk which performance and thought he sounded kind of bad there LKKASKLA sorry#anyways benson boone. i'm checking out his last album and i really like the sound#lets see if it sticks or if I forget about it by tomorrow#benson boone
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trying soooo hard to get back into critrole but the eps are so long :(
#im like 10 epispdes behind. tbats 40 hours. that would take me like 5 whole work days#and thats only if i listened nonstop without pausing (which i often have to do at work)#and that is judt. soooo mych for my brain#but its the ONLY ONE (besides creepy but that doesnt count) im not caught up on yet without starting something new#head in hands.#oh my god wait theyre on ep 100 now. i left off on 83#GODDDDD.#well. at least its like. the moon ep. which is what i was excited for. but its just. sooooo much#sorry im in a mood today. everything hurts im so sore from the dive yesterday#im in one of those “i need to cross things off of lists Or Else” kind of moods and. im at work whihc means podcasts are my only option rn#bc my other choices to get out of that feelings hole are usually either reading or watching yt. to get playlists organized#goddddddddddd not to mention the. weird identity issues. head in hands#idk who i aaaaammmm todayyyyyy#critrile is just soooo much. augh
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uhh. uhhhhh
#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot#half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t#ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK#two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe#bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it#i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were#actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that#except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS#what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st#started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which#i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know#primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to#MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i#have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense#Spotify#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#yapping#playlist#monkie kid
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character introduction: lyda (she/her)
a mostly easygoing thief that probably would have fit better in ash legion, but when she arrived as an amnesiac orphan at the black citadel she refused to be parted from her baby sister. said baby sister is now an engineer twice lyda's height with a flamethrower just as huge, and they've both left the legions, but that won't stop lyda from reminding everyone in the vicinity that she IS older, thank you, and…….maybe wiser???.....she'll get back to you on that one.
song
#admittedly kind of shaky on that song choice but i don't have a playlist for her yet#not talking about her a ton bc her sister belongs to my friend and idk how much lore theyre comfortable with me sharing skjfsjhsgj#she's olmakhan though :) she doesn't remember at first bc of all the trauma (inquest shit)#but they make their way back eventually#original#my ocs#lyda#my screenshots#this is also not her base game/current canon outfit buuuut i dont have the transmogs for the other one#so#character introduction
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The fact that I start my iop program tomorrow makes me feel so fucking crazy. I might go for a drive or something and scream music just get out of my head yknow like fuck man fuck!!!
#what playlist do I listen to. joke songs to lighten the mood. playlist about being anxious for iop so I feel seen. yearning playlist bc im#also losing my fucking kind with yearning#idk how to deal with feelings#I want to jack off or go for a long drive or cry or get really high and idk which one to do
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did not write as much as i liked today but i made the playlist for the nanowrimo 2023 project that has a specific order to reflect the tones of the story and that's the closest i get to outlining before a draft so
#idk how to explain this from a I Dont Actually Outline Before Drafting Usually POV but#making playlists with a specific order feels like the first layer to understanding a narrative bc its like i can hear the tone of it unfold#i dont need to know what it will look like on page but i can look at a playlists body#and it feels like i can see the ebbs and flows of the narrative's tone/vibes/etc. the emotional movement#which for the type of stories i write that helps a lot LOL#making playlists that way kind of feels like ive put the story into a heart monitor. its not showing me all the vitals but its showing me#the movement of the story's core#OKAY WAITTT i think the best way to explain it is#i'm a very vibe driven writer but also vibes are very sensory to me#when i make a playlist its not just songs that remind me of the wip its songs that SOUND like the wip to me#i have a very deep sensory relationship to stories + sensory things connect me to the Vibes#and the more familiar i am with the Vibes of a story the easier it is for me to enter the story and then figure out what actually happens#which is why i prefer to discovery write most of the time bc being deep in the story like that#feels like a similar level of immersion that i get from things like playlists#PERSONALLY!#so when i make playlists in a specific order the songs usually group themselves together and it feels like i can hear how the story moves#through those groups without knowing what the events look like yet#playlists and moodboards etc are literally integral to me because stories usually start very abstract/vibey in my brain#rather than a clear idea and i need something more tangible/sensory to flesh it out
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#audio#natalie lain#ok so no one asked but long story on this#basically natalie lain was a minuscule alt musician kind of semi local to my area back in 2016#but in recent years became a psychedelic dj of sorts and you can find her on spotify if that's your thing#BUT. because of this drastic change in musical direction she decided to DELETE the ep this song is on from her spotify not too long ago#like she just completely erased her emo roots right? Ig she was embarrassed by it or something idk. and like I get it. I do.#But I was DEVASTATED when I realized she did this!!!!! I unironically love this ep! like these songs were on carefully curated playlists#that i use for story arch daydreaming and she just fucking! deleted them !!#and she's suuuch a small artist like these songs weren't posted anywhere by anyone other than her and she covered her tracks well#like these songs weren't available online anywhere#HOWEVER. my dear sister (bless her soul) had gone out to a local gig back in 2016 where this chick was selling her ep on cd#and bought one with what she had (like 2 dollars)#SO anyway long story short my sister gave the cd to me recently bc I'd been meaning to get the tracks ripped onto my computer#so I thought it'd be cool to post some of them lol.#this is exclusive content yall!!!#anyway. this is very emo vampire romance demolition lovers core and it BOPS.#originalpost
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I got 7 reactions to the post I made on this app 8 whole days ago (when most ppl in my area got 2 or 3 at the most). & Several messages I haven't responded to. Tbh I haven't bothered since that first day, bc I got what I wanted out of it (decided to try a hookup and accomplished it 3 days after deciding it), and...
We've still been texting. Sometimes about things that aren't exactly typical of what you'd think for a hookup (emotionally intimate, I guess?). Today we got on the topic of hiking and I mentioned my fav state park & she said she was planning to go there over spring break and said she'd love to bring me with her... which That is a level of accepting me in her life that I think is not typical of just a one-off hookup kinda thing.
So like... idk if we r skirting around the possibility of a relationship?? Or if we r setting up to be friends with benefits?? Would it be exclusive??? Open??? Assuming there's any kind of relationship at all??????
Idk. It feels like there's Something there. I don't know what she wants out of it. I kinda don't even know what I want out of it. But it'd feel a little weird to pursue smth else when we're in this nebulous area... it wouldn't be cheating bc it's not like we're dating, but I'd also hate it if we Did end up dating (exclusively) and then I'd have to give up someone else........
Idk. I wasn't expecting to hit it off with someone like this. I'm still pretty burnt out on serious romance, so I don't want to just jump right into a new thing. I just know that I like talking with her and I'll probably want to sleep with her again. Beyond that...
I dont know. It's all so confusing.
#speculation nation#i think im bigtime failing at the whole Casual aspect of it 😂#but i cant help being so alluring.... the girls Love a sweet nerd with a mysterious hidden darkness.....#might be why i have so many reactions too. i am for serious my post has over twice as many reactions as anyone else#idk. i have options. for now im just leaving them open.#it's only been a week now since we started chatting. still way too early to decide anything.#i will simply play it by ear. see where things take me.#we have. we have a spotify playlist. for sharing our favorite songs together. we are sharing music.#i feel like im going insane. this cant be the normal Just Casual kinda thing can it???#not when shes said at multiple points that im 'the coolest person ever' or that im really kind#oh god am i turning into one of those useless lesbian tropes????#'help this girl keeps saying im really cool and that she wants to go hiking with me and we are sharing music together#and also we had sex. do you think she likes me?'#fbkdfkshfkshdjd it sounds so FUNNY laid out like that. but the sex rly is just incidental and all ykno?#i dont know how many hookups shes actually had. i dont know how special i am to her#emotionally Or sexually. and i feel like asking would be rude.#so i am simply waiting it out. seeing where it goes. and being pleasantly surprised anytime it goes well.#the thing with the hiking today made me all 😳😳😳😳 bc it spoke of a desire to have me in her life several months from now#it's only been a week. it's only been a week. i have no idea what im doing.
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songs that give me feelings so intense I can't even listen to them most of the time and have to take safety precautions when I do:
lonely by sadness
o superman by laurie anderson
the last 6 minutes of eateot
ohm sweet ohm by kraftwerk
#eateot last minutes messed up my life the most but it doesn't haunt me as much anymore#mostly bc i never listen to it#ohm sweet ohm is disturbingly comforting#idk what it is about it#idk something about the radioactive associations combined with the happy melody#o superman just kind of messes up my brain but again i rarely listen to it#that chord progression in general does something to my thoughts#lonely by sadness i literally refuse to listen to#i probably heard it around the time after my sister's friend died#and the first half is like. sounds like the actual horrors#it's so#you can literally hear the mental illness#but my god the second half#just the slightly out of tune acoustic guitar#it feels like there's no hope#god there is no reason for me to listen to that song#i'm gonna stop thinking about these and go listen to the venkification playlist (songs that make you feel like venk golden ratio)#ramble
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