#kind of also a part of why i ship her with christopher?

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

I'll Be Your Hero

I did a quick 1,562 words based on this picture this morning:

I'll Be Your Hero (1562 words) by NeverlandPoet Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Tommy Kinard, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Karen Wilson, Athena Grant, Vincent Gerrard, Maddie Buckley, Howie "Chimney" Han Additional Tags: Fluff, firefam - Freeform, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Tommy Kinard, Tommy Kinard Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, Speculation for 9-1-1 (TV) Season 7, Season 7 episode 9 speculation, speculation based on promo pics, POV Tommy Kinard

Read under the cut or on AO3 (see above for link)

— Choose your own part, make it worth and return —

"We get a medal and cake, I could get used to that," Buck whispers in his boyfriend's ear.

He’s enthusiastic, almost brimming with energy, it’s adding to the delicate whiff of his breath on Tommy's skin. A stimulating mixture, alas, it’s the wrong time and place for this kind of thoughts. Tommy just smiles, clutches his plate of cake and wishes the celebrations would come to an end.

Buck is quite distracting. Since he has this medal around his neck, he looks like a Labrador puppy who has been given his first treat. That's a praise kink, for sure, and Tommy just knows he's gotta store this information deep in his mind. Most of all, the man just looks so happy. So content. Tommy never knew that seeing someone else so happy could be so important to him. He looks at Buck – his boyfriend, for goodness sake, how did that actually happen? – and his throat constricts, and it has nothing to do with the fact that he has stuffed far too big a piece of cake into his mouth.

Tommy is nervous for reasons not entirely clear to him. This accolade is superfluous, he thinks, and maybe it has something to do with that; after all, what they did was a certain gray area. However, a small voice inside him is more indicative of the people who are here today. Gerrard is here, for example. And Tommy, known to be so confident, so serene, realizes that he is not quite so calm inside.

Buck is, of course, responsible for this. Evan. A name that melts in the mouth like the sweetest candy. A man that has melted Tommy’s heart, in several ways. But also the reason for his restlessness. Buck is so excited, so happy, but also... sensitive, in a very good, but vulnerable way. And Tommy would hate to see that happy face crumble over a stupid remark.

Tommy feels Buck's hand on his arm. Damn, that uniform adds something to the man’s hotness, he’s hardly listening to the words tumbling out of this beautiful lips.

"... with Christopher, I'll be right back," Buck says.

He’s gone in a flash, and Tommy feels strangely lonely in a crowd of people to whom he should also belong. It’s nobody’s fault but his own he still feels disconnected. He’s used to not getting too involved with people. This façade has crumbled quite a bit since he started dating Evan, though.

He gives himself a jolt and wanders around, the plate of cake still firmly in his hand, without actually knowing exactly what kind of cake it is and how it tasted. Hearing his name startles him, he almost drops it.

"Tommy!"

This is Hen and her wife Karen. He remembers Hen talking about her. She looks nice. So why is he nervous?

"Hey," he says, undecided where to put the plate of cake, so he keeps clutching it. "Karen, right? You must be proud of Henrietta."

It's just small talk, harmless, but Tommy wonders why the two of them are ... scrutinizing him like that.

"Oh, I only call her that when she's up to something," Karen replies, smiling.

"Must have received her with Henrietta! then, when you found out about the ship," Tommy says, overemphasizing the name with raised brows.

They laugh, he feels like he's broken the ice, and Karen says, "I'm glad this achievement is being recognized. Yours, especially, Tommy. I'm glad you brought them all back in one piece."

"More or less," he shrugs, watching the women exchange affectionate glances.

That's us, he thinks, at some point. A pleasant idea for someone who – perhaps for a moment – thought that the 118’s pretty boy was just in for a one-night stand. This turned into a few nights, the best nights Tommy can imagine, and he found out that Buck is, contrary to the rumors, a man for more. Tommy can think of a lot more.

"We wanted to talk to you about something," Hen interjects, and now they exchange another look, but Tommy can't quite interpret it.

"Oh?" he says, something's up, clearly, and he holds on to his plate like a lifeline for some reason.

"We're happy for you, really," Karen says, and Hen cocks a brow as she looks at her wife.

"Why the telling off, then?" she asks.

"Never said I'm not happy for them, Hen."

So, Karen is clearly the strict one in this relationship, fine, but they both seem to have forgotten that Tommy is still there, and he blinks in confusion.

"I’m not sure what…" he starts, but Karen cuts him short, and now her whole demeanor says this is serious.

"We care for Evan," she says. "Extended family, so to speak. He means a lot to Hen, and therefore he means a lot to me, and we don't want him to get hurt."

"I don't intend to..."

Karen raises a hand, now she strangely looks like his elementary school teacher, and Tommy sees Hen gently push her hand down.

"He's been hurt a lot," she continues. "And all of this is new to him."

"We've suspected for years that he's not as straight as his girlfriends suggested," Hen interjects, and now the tension drops noticeably, and they share a laugh.

"Just be good to him," adds Karen.

Looking at her, Tommy thinks how strange it is to hear this from a woman he has only known for two minutes, but that she’s so right. He wants nothing more than to be good to, good for Evan.

"I promise."

Tommy feels like his voice doesn't quite belong to him, and there must have been something in it that softens the faces of the two women in front of him.

"That's all I need," Hen says warmly, patting Tommy's shoulder encouragingly, "and if you ever need help, come to us."

"Help?" asks Tommy with a crooked smile, slightly confused.

"Oh, you don't even realize what you've gotten yourself into yet. Evan Buckley is a force of nature."

Giggling and waving, the two walk on and Tommy stays behind, blinking. A force of nature, yes, that's for sure. He looks at the cake on his plate, realizes he's had his thumb in it the whole time and licks it, indecently reminded of Evan again. Where is that man anyway? Tommy looks around and sees him sitting at a table with Christopher, and it's unclear who’s talking whose ears off.

Indecisively, he moves in this direction, carefully avoiding Bobby. They only locked eyes for a minute, and the captain instantly had a look on his face that said "he needs the talk."

However, he can't quite escape Athena, the woman suddenly builds up in front of him saying, "Tommy! I hope you have a minute later, Bobby and I would love to chat."

They've already thanked him for the rescue in private, but of course that was before they knew about him and Buck, so Tommy knows exactly – thanks in part to Hen and Karen – what kind of conversation this is going to be.

"Sure," he says with a disarming smile and escapes her for now.

He doesn't get far, because there are Howie and Maddie, arms linked (God, all the couples here are so sweet).

"Oh, Tommy," Maddie says, and Howie next to her just goes, "Uh-oh, Tommy."

Maddie gives her husband a stern look, and he continues, "She wants to give you the Buck talk."

"You'll have to get in line."

Howie laughs, while Maddie looks confused. Fortunately, Buck arrives at this moment as if he’s heard his name, and as always it seems like the sun rises for Tommy. Buck is still pretty wound up, and although Tommy knows the man can take care of himself, he also knows he's going to need some time to calm down after all of this.

"Oh God, that's his Tommy face, let's go," Howie says, pulling Maddie aside before she can say anything.

If that's his Tommy face, then... Tommy's throat is getting tight again, and he hasn't touched the cake for a while. Buck, at any rate, looks at him with shining eyes, an almost longing smile, his head slightly tilted, his hair a little tousled; damn, Tommy wants nothing more than to press a kiss to those tender lips right now. He clears his throat.

"All good?" he asks.

Buck's expression changes slightly, his smile deepens.

"I'm doing great, what about you?" he asks quietly as he puts a hand on Tommy's arm.

The touch burns in the best way possible. Before Tommy can answer, Gerrard approaches. There’s the hint of a frown on Evan’s face, and Tommy braces himself. His boyfriend seems to notice the tension in his muscles, because he gives him a look that is not just affection, but... understanding.

"Buckley, Kinard," says Gerrard, "good job."

Quite a bit of praise from this man's mouth, and many years ago that would have been important to Tommy. Evan has witnessed the man himself, but many things he knows only because Tommy has told him, and Tommy already knows what he thinks about the former captain.

"To Tommy's credit," Buck says. And then he looks at Tommy, puts an arm around him, and Gerrard's eyes go wide as he adds, "I'm extremely proud of my brave boyfriend."

[tjakev]

Stance regarding the Vefve situation

(TL;DR for those who suffer Attention Deficit like I do)

While yes what vefve has made is undeniably weird, I don’t think it’s a justification to those who are becoming almost unhealthy obsessed and will dedicate their entire blog to hating on Vevfe.

LONG STATEMENT:

I’ve been following this whole Vefve situation for a bit now, it’s insane to consider since I wouldn’t even be on tumblr without Vefve via their about page on youtube.

So when I started browsing and discovered this overwhelming hate for Vefve I was initially shocked and yet also intrigued, I learned more. By the end of it, I came to the conclusion that there were parts that were well deserving of Criticism, and others that I think were kind of overblown, mainly by a small yet vocal minority of especially butthurt Vefve Critics, to the point where it was creepy within itself.

I’ll start with the stuff I believe is worth critiquing, then the stuff I’m 50/50 on, then with the stuff I feel like was overblown, ending with how bad some have been about this whole shebang.

The Chris x Kennith ship:

This was the one where I felt like it was justified in terms of critiquing, Chris’s entire schtick is he’s a self entitled manipulative scumbag who has no issue mentally breaking down people one by one, and he’ll smile the whole way through. While Kennith was a Homosexual who was gullible, manipulated by Evelyn into basically almost causing an apocalyptic style mass murder and ended up taking his own life. So to ship One of the most Manipulative characters with one of the most Mentally destroyed is like trying to mix Water and Oil, it’s completely backwards in terms of logic and common sense. I know Vefve has this whole Fnaf fan styled “Alternate Universe” where the characters are slightly tweaked, but removing Chris’s manipulative behavior is like removing Frank Sinatra’s ability to sing, you completely remove the entire reason Chris is the way he is.

Not to mention the two were born almost a century apart, and Chris’s soul stayed in the Manor making it almost impossible for the two to really meet.

Vefve’s Immaturity and Echochamber:

Another thing that Chrisoncrack brought up as their main argument was how immature Vefve was and has been throughout this whole 2-3 month scandal. Their inability to take criticism and feedback, mostly bad feedback, is the whole thing that’s been stirring the pot that is this drama.

Instead of either Apologizing or standing her own ground(IN A MATURE MANNER). She instead throws a hissy fit and blocks anyone who dares to give her the slightest pushback, I’ve seen many and talked to many who’ve been blocked for some of the most simplistic call out posts or comments, hell they don’t even need to do that! They just need to simply reblog someone else’s posts and BOOM you’re blocked. Also I’m fully aware Vefve will probably block me too, not remembering I can use Alt accounts or Safari lol.

Vefve also constantly teases the people criticizing her by drawing art of the Chris and Kennith stuff(which I’ll go into depth about next).

Next is the topic I’m 50/50 about.

Vefve self shipping with Chris:

I’ve seen many people get mad at how Vefve self ships/simps for Christopher Pierre(which does explain why she washed any manipulative habits of his away but I digress).

Chris is 17 while Vefve is 23 meaning that it would be considered Pedophillic or illegal for Vefve to ship themselves with Chris. Now yes, I 100% agree that it’s odd to be an adult and ship yourself with someone who is underage. Where I become divided on this is the fact that 1. She has been shipping herself with Chris since she’s been apart of the community, which has been 5-6 years meaning that she was 16-17 when she started shipping herself with Chris. Aka a minor, so this isn’t an instance of an adult whose shipping themselves with a minor all the sudden while they’re an adult. This is an instance of a minor shipping themselves with another minor, but Vefve became an adult after the fact.

Once again I still think it’s weird, in general I think self shipping is weird in general. But I don’t think we should be throwing the word Pedophile with Vefve without substantial evidence, especially when entire peoples careers like Alex Kister and Pyrocynical have been almost thrown away because of false Pedophile allegations people threw around and everyone accepted.

Finally onto the only overblown topic:

Vefve’s fan comic and the Necrophilia Accusations.

Oh boy I might get some shit because of this, but honestly I didn’t think from at least what I’ve read that the comic isn’t that bad. Is it weird to have these Characters who represent various forms of Trauma and Abuse be Halloween monsters, yes. Is it weird Chris killed kennith and then basically made out with his decapitated head, of course.

But to say that there was this underlining tone or message of Necrophilia is a WILD thing to say. I don’t like the comic either and I sorta don’t wanna defend it . But The comic is about horror and as such the part of Chris kissing Kennith’s head was probably written to be an extreme form of horror. But to say that this is Vevfe’s underlying fetish is a very out of pocket thing to say and the fact she’s being harassed over this fact amazes me. Because this is exactly what happened to the creator of “The Coffin of Andy and Leyley”. Where a part of the game has the siblings “do the do”. Which was supposed to be a shock value moment and supposed to be taken as a bad ending. Turned into people accusing the creator of being into incest, to the point where the harassment was so bad they had to sell the rights and basically erase their own existence off the internet.

And I don’t think we should be accusing someone because they decided to add a form of horror to their horror based story, I know authors will often add stuff in their story’s that’s underlying of their actual motives and thought process. But it’s one thing if it gets really nsfw and sexual and constant in their works and it’s another thing if it’s a one and done thing in the media.

Now let’s get onto the echo chambers on BOTH sides of the spectrum.

First starting with Vefve fans, I’ve been seeing a lot of things fans of Vefve have been doing that is insane, from the metaphorical meat riding of her to apparently doxxing someone on tik tok. It’s honestly wild how close minded her defenders are, I get defending what you love but Jesus, there’s defending someone and then there’s ruining someone else’s life over petty tumblr drama most won’t care about or remember in 5 years.

This goes both ways, I won’t name drop who but there’s this user I’ve been noticing who has a massive hate boner for Vefve and anyone who slightly defends her is given the boot and is told to basically kick rocks and fuck off. Even if they have a decent point. Once again it’s okay to defend and criticize someone but if it comprises most of your modern blog page and it becomes this almost obsession, it just makes you look worse than the people you accuse. Go outside, get some Ice cream and go on a walk, trust me, it’s a better way to spend your time than to ramble about tumblr drama in a niche community for months. Trust me I’m already losing my mind after typing this for an hour and a half.

I won’t be bringing this topic up again and anything I need to add will simply be edited into this post cause I don’t like to constantly reignite drama. I only made this cause I wanted to get it out of the way before people started asking me to pick sides and shit. If you have any counter arguments or points you wanna bring up, absolutely feel free to do so! Just PLEASE keep it Civil and friendly.

That’s all, stay tuned for more drawings of Slurpee and Friends I got in the works, Stay cool, stay chill,

AAAAAAAAAND P E A C E

[loisfreakinglane]

@queenofattolia OOOOH MY FAVORITE THROUPLES!!!!!!!!! SMASH THAT READ MORE BUTTON

ben/maddie/ryn ~ siren (never forgive never forget that breakup, they were PERFECT. that show ended with season 2 and i will NEVER EVER EVER forgive season 3's crimes)

kala/rajan/wolfgang ~ sense8 (we were denied a full series arc of them getting together, but frankly i didn't feel it was rushed in the finale. it still felt organic TO ME, largely bc the chemistry between rajan and wolfgang was impeccable immediately)

eliot/hardison/parker ~ leverage (can you believe there's people who watch leverage that don't ship this?!!?!?! there are human beings out there who ship eliot/parker with zero hardison involvement. BAFFLED, FRIENDS)

angel/buffy/cordy ~ btvs/ats (i'm sorry this is based on my own brain falling into the depths of madness when s6/s3 were airing and i was banned from watching buffy so i was reading the transcripts on buffyworld and left to stew over how much i wanted buffy and dawn and tara to flee to la and never look back, while also falling in love with cangel and thinking about how much those three would fit perfectly together, buffy and cordy as two sides of the same coin, just always out of step with the others parallel heroic journey, how much bangel would work so much more for me when it's damaged adults coming together and also raising their impossible blue eyed kids together also connors never kidnapped also also faith moves into the hyperion too and gunn and fred never break up the end okay i'll stop now)

the princess, the prince, and the mermaid ~ the little mermaid (i was infected by the novel mermaid: a twist on the classic tail (heh) in my youth- christopher, lenia, and margrethe had a fascinating relationship i fell in love with. and now!!!!!!!! watching older adaptations of tlm, seeing the interactions between the three of them always intrigue me so hard. pre-disney the princess is allowed to be sweet and kind to the mermaid, if somewhat patronizing to the mute young girl. and when the mermaid fades away, her body in foam and her soul off to heaven, she lays a kiss on the grieving princess's head AND I DIE)

elizabeth/neal/peter ~ white collar (IT WAS SUCH A FUN TRIO I STAND BY THIS CHOICE! also at the time it was extraordinarily refreshing of fandom to not immediately despise and vilify the woman standing between their slash ship. and i adored the canon and the fanon so tbh! this will always stick out as a classique ot3 to me!)

irma/marion/miranda ~ picnic at hanging rock (why aren't we frolicking in oz, wearing white gowns and eating picnic treats RIGHT NOW? anyway they're in love, they're so in love they fell into an alternate dimension)

ann/ben/leslie ~ parks and recreation (am I the only person who was tearing my hair out during ann's search for a sperm donor bc why did leslie never offer up ben's specimen!?!?! she is OBSESSED with ann and way too invasive and beyond controlling and I think way too much about that episode where ben and ann are fighting over the wafflemaker for one of leslie's insane random holidays, then end it off by coming together to make leslie STOP with the incessant celebrations and presents? anyway they should have all wound up together. and not just bc chris was terrible)

huoxin/jing/xiaowei ~ painted skin the resurrection (the lady demon, the princess, and the bodyguard. this trio was EVERYTHING. the demon fixated on the princess and her heart, the princess desperately in love with her bodyguard turned general but clinging to shame over her facial scars, the general who runs from his failure to protect her. ADD IN BODYSWAP SHENANIGANS AND I LOSE MY MIND EVERY TIME.)

ezra/jules/richie ~ imposters (possibly partially queerplatonic bc i'm not exactly sure where jules lies on ye olde kinsey scale, but even if it's platonic on her part i'm incredibly in love with this trio and i SO see it as a working throuple LEAVE ME ALONE)

elizabeth/olive/william ~ professor marston and the wonder women (whether you believe the historical accuracy of this movie or not, this throuple is fucking awesome and i adooooooore them)

gwen/mj/peter ~ marvel comics (i'm so sick of thinking about spider-man rn bc *waves hand at mcu* HOWEVER it would feel disingenous to leave this off my list. i love these three, i love them together so much.)

alex/hal/tom ~ being human uk (the way these characters brought new life to this era of bhuk. these three are in LOVE)

chel/miguel/tulio ~ the road to el dorado (baby's first ot3)

kirk/spock/uhura ~ star trek (THE KELVIN TIMELINE!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE SO MUCH. still mourning a fic that was deleted off ao3....... sad bean bear city)

art/patrick/tashi ~ challengers (THEEEEEEEEEEEE PINNACLE! there are ppl who cast tashi as the villain of the story and think art and patrick will flee her when the credits roll, and i am so glad i am not surrounded by those types. this is a love story where every person is desperately needed to complete the triad. they just don't work without all 3 of them)

clark/lana/lex ~ smallville (LOOK LOOK LOOK. SHUT UP. anyway i rewatched this show with my father at the height of the pandemic and lana/lex hit hard in a way it never had before, so now i'm p equally obsessed with every side of this triangle and now i want to smash them all together so bad. THIS IS HOW TO FIX EVERYTHING.)

gaby/ilya/napoleon ~ the man from uncle (ready made ot3, i can't be mad)

mylene/shaolin/zeke ~ the get down (did mylene and shaolin hate each other? uhhhhhhh yep. HOWEVER. THAT ALLOWED FOR SOME FUCKING GREAT TENSION. and they were both equally in love with zeke so like............ i wanted it so bad

i'm SURE i'm missing very important ones, but these are my broad strokes 💗💗💗

ALSO LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!!!! TELL ME YOU DON'T SHIP THEM IMMEDIATELY

[emmafallsinlove]

Opinion on the Max/Lorelai fiasco?

the fact i've answered it in depth in the morning but tumblr didn't published it.... anyways. i just think it was very immature relationship on both sides. it was clear (at least to me) that lorelai never dated before and that max is intrigued by her but nothing else. like, i don't know it was very weird from the start like on episode 4 of s1 if iirc where rory is aren't allowed to do the test she study for a week so in the end of the episode he leaves a voicemail like "and rory, if your mom is listening" very very immature and even unprofessional. like it just didn't aged well but it's was a very wrong thing to do anywyas. and i just hate how max kind of forcing lorelai to be in a relationship with him in a way when she wants to break up with him and has intentions of bringing him back the book he gave her, max is like "rory would be fine" but lorelai was right. now rory, a 16 years old kid, is involved in whatever happen between them. i just think max didn't fully grasp the fact that he is walking into a family, assuming rory would be fine & okay no matter what, and that's the thing - boundaries were crossed because no one was matured enough to talk through stuff. max asking rory about her break up with dean, lorelai joking around max should let rory A+ on the test because her essay is so good (and i'm sure it was, it just wrong to do anything of the sort), max proposing to lorelai out of fear of losing her or being jealous or something i don't know, lorelai never lets him be part of their life because she's not ready yet, he yells at her telling her she's only cares about herself because she didn't gave him the keys to the house but honestly? she wasn't ready, she didn't wanted him there. she woke up her 16 years old daughter freaking out about having a man in the house, about their life might change completely and how nothing is gonna come back to the way it was it just. and they never talk anything through as well. where's max is gonna live? where's rory? is lorelai who brings up this questions in season 2 because they are a family and she is always gonna put rory first. that's why luke was the best match for her because he put rory first before anything else. he was rory's father before he was lorelai's boyfriend and later husband. lorelai saw how much luke loves rory that he is willingly going to drive up to yale and not let her quit school while max reaction would've been "rory would be okay" same as christopher's reactions at times. but lorelai never told her what's part he is gonna take in their life as well. when he pointed out it's past 23:00 and rory and dean are still out lorelai is like "well, you don't say anything to my daughter. she is my daughter." and you can't build a family like that, a relationship with this attitude. also the fact that max's parents were excited for him to get married but neither emily and richard or lorelai and rory never meet them? big red flag to me. it's not even "right person wrong time" because it isn't even that. like regarding to the plot of s2 with jess i think it could've been very interesting if max would've stayed around a few more episodes but i think it was good that he was gone when he did. lorelai wasn't ready and he wasn't ready and it showed.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my brutally honest opinion on it

[alister312]

13, 15, 19!!!

thank u!! in reference to this ask list

13. Most shippable character

Kenny, absolutely. He’s just got that sort of vibe that I can agree working with most anyone! There’s Kenny ships that i much prefer to others and Kenny ships I’m not so enthused about, but overall if shown a new Kenny ship of any kind I’d at least say “Ok sure, I’ll think about it.” Second to Kenny might be Bebe, I really like a lot of ships with her. And hey, I love her and Kenny together too! What puts Kenny above Bebe tho is that he’s character who I feel can very easily attach to another established couple and make a throuple work? Like, I think he works in Stylenny and Creekenny!

15. Favourite poly ship

AND SPEAKING OF KENNY BEING A PART OF PRE-ESTABLISHED SHIPS—

Recently I’ve really LOVED the idea of Chrisgornny (Christophe/Gregory/Kenny). There’s literally only one fic out there with them and it’s nsfw so there’s not much in the way of developing dynamics. However, I love thinking about character dynamics. You’ve got Gregstophe which… god, just read literally any of my fics or posts about them and you’ll Understand. But then you’ve also got Kengory, which I discussed in the last ask but basically, they have a lot of similarities that would mesh nicely. Lastly there’s Kenstophe which I do love SO so much?? Similar to Kengory, I think they’re very similar people except instead of similar goals w different approaches, I think they’d have similar approaches w different conclusions. There’s so much to unpack from their differing conclusions on being cursed by God alone— Christophe being angry down to the bitter end but Kenny eventually getting tired and giving up. Due to his immortality, Kenny is also one of those characters who can exist in odd AUs well, which is also where Gregory and Christophe tend to work best. Kenny’s already been a vigilante, why wouldn’t he decide to join them in being a revolutionary? Especially after his dad took him to a worker’s union meeting and radicalized him.

I’m realizing now I could talk about the three of them forever. I’ll stop for now but they will always be in the back of my mind, I assure you.

19. Ship that you never expected to ship

There’s a LOT of ships I’ve started shipping in my second foray into the fandom that I never would’ve shipped the first time around (Crenny comes to mind). However, I think the #1 surprise ship I now love is Dyde (Damien/Clyde). For one, I used to headcanon Clyde as the token straight guy amongst all the others, and I was pretty dead set devoted to Clybe and Dip. I’ve become much more of a multishipper now though. Anyway, @/honey-creek got an anon request for Clyde/Damien, I reblogged it with a comment and idea that made them laugh, prompting an art trade of me writing Dyde while they drew me something related to my longfic Just Business (hoping and praying Kas someday posts the piece bc I love it to death). Somewhere along the lines of writing, “lmao this is a funny pair” turned into genuinely love of the Dyde dynamic. You’ve got Clyde, Just Some Guy™️ of all time, a little dense and concerned with superficial stuff but ultimately sweet and sensitive. Then there’s Damien, literal demon and son of Satan, Prince of Hell but longing to be accepted and liked by others. I’ve only written two fics about them but I love the idea of them SO much….. talk to me about them at all (or Kas and King) and be inducted into Dyde nation 👀

[toomanytakennamesagh]

Like I know Grace is meant to be this 'manipulative, ice queen' morally gray character, and she def is, but I also kind of get this sense of childishness from her thoughts and actions?Not the sweet, naive kind, but the type that makes them stamp their feet, get mad at the world, shrink back when Tatiana gets terrifying. Underneath it all Grace is still a messed up young girl wanting her big brother back. That doesnt make her actions excusable, of course, and I was so happy when she got confronted by James (cuz she DESERVED it), but it makes her interesting at the same time. She just feels so young.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Unavailable**

Y/N has a very specific preference for unavailable/inappropriate people and Harry is her therapist who is supposed to help her work through this.

WC: 12.8K

WARNINGS: 18+ (I beg of you minors, DNI), DARK HARRY, therapist x client, inappropriate relationships, attraction to unavailable people, manipulation, aggressive sexual advances (dubccon kink), pain kink, degradation.

Tagged: @victoria-styles @gurugirl @janelikemaryyy

Y/N wasn’t sure why…but she had a streak. A pattern if you will for going after unavailable men. Something about being noticed by someone who was supposedly so committed to another, it was gratifying to watch their eyes lust over at the sight of her. But then on the other side of that she was constantly riddled with guilt over her trysts. Y/N was only 19 the first time she gave into to her temptation; that was also when her mother discovered Y/N’s inappropriate preference in romantic partners because Y/N’s co-worker’s girlfriend showed up at their house one night in hysterics because her boyfriend admitted to her that he’d been hooking up with Y/N. She went off and rightfully so, Y/N had burning red cheeks and a bloody nose to show for her mistakes. She didn’t fight back because she deserved it.

After that, her mom kept a close eye on her. But obviously, the things she did were done in private. Her latest lover was her mom’s best friend’s husband, Christopher. Christopher was a lawyer, he was in his early 50’s, and he was the kind of man that she grew up calling “uncle”, always was fun and caring, kind, and protective of her. She wasn’t sure what flipped the switch for her to notice and want him, but she got involved with him because she could and it made her feel good about herself, or at least that’s what she would tell herself in the heat of the moment.

She remembers the first time they hooked up. He had been so hesitant and declining her flirtations when she pushed him back into the bathroom after he’d just stepped out if it. He was so nervous, but she sweet-talked him as her hand trailed down his body and groped at his cock until he was hard as a rock. Chris soon found that he couldn’t resist a 22-year old girl who was just desperate and eager to make him come. And after that they started seeing each other and they’d been hooking up for nearly four months, that was the longest she’d ever actually been with someone. Her conquests were not typically long term and few and far between - five actually, she’d only slept with five guys since she was 19. Either way, when Y/N’s mom caught them fucking in his car she dragged Y/N out by her hair, gave her a few slaps and told Chris that if he ever laid eyes on Y/N again that she would tell Candice - her best friend, his wife.

Y/N’s mom didn’t understand what was wrong with Y/N and the next morning she told her that if she wanted to remain a part of their family that she needed to get help. Y/N agreed, thinking that maybe she could see a therapist or something to figure out why she had this inherent need to seek out unavailable people, but then Y/N’s mom pulled out a packet of printed pages and told her that she was going to an in-patient facility for addicts. She was convinced that Y/N was a sex addict and probably a drug addict because “no normal, respectable person behaves the way you do” and a week later she had been shipped off.

That’s how she had ended up at New Beginnings: In-Patient Treatment Center. And much to her pleasure, how she ended up in front of the hottest man she had ever seen. Sure, she didn’t know if he was single or taken, but the fact that this man standing before her was her therapist made him a temptation. What could be more dangerous than seducing your therapist? It was wrong and inappropriate and that made in unavailable enough to pique her interest. 

“Y/N, right?” He smiled at her calmly and she nodded, “Come in, take a seat, anywhere you’d like.” He greeted before closing his office door, he was British. Fun.The decor in his office was homey and inviting, she opted for sitting on the couch so that she could bring her legs up and lay one of the many throw pillows on it into her lap. He then proceeded to sit across from her and took her in for a moment before introducing himself. “I’m Dr. Harry Styles. You can call me Harry or Dr. Styles, whatever you feel most comfortable with.” He said and she glanced up at him, mesmerized by his pretty green eyes and his kind smile was comforting. How could someone be hot and adorable at the same time? It baffled her.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hi, again.” He responded with a smile before looking down at the chart he had in his hands, “I will begin by stating that I’m the therapist assigned to you during your stay at New Beginnings. Of course if we have… irreconcilable differences,” he grinned, “I have no problem referring you to another clinician if that’s what you choose. I have over 10 years of experience in the mental health field, four years specifically treating addictions…” he then went on to talk to her about all of the ethical duties, confidentiality policies, and whatnot. She just nodded along when he’d ask if she understood, which she fully did, “So now that we’ve got that out of a the way, tell me a little bit about yourself.”

“Ummm… I’m 22. I…like dogs?” She shrugged awkwardly, “And music? I ummm… I don’t know, what do you want to know?” She sniggered uncomfortably and his neutral expression didn’t change when her eyes met his.

“What’s your favorite dog breed?” He asked and she smiled at that. Choosing to start somewhere comfortable for her.

“I have a top 3 actually, in no particular order-” she said looking at him to make sure he understood that, “Dachshunds, Borzois, and Scottish terriers.” She said and he smiled.

“I like dachshunds and scotties, what’s a borzoi?” He asked with a confused smile and she reciprocated the friendly gesture.

“Those dogs with ridiculously long snouts, look a little like the squirrel from Ice Age?” She said and he chuckled.

“Oh! Those guys, yeah I can see the appeal.” He said and she nodded with a smile, “Apart from your distinguished taste in dog breeds,” he said and she rolled her eyes playfully, “What more is there to you?”

“Ummm, like what?”

“Like, how would you describe yourself?” He asked and she shrugged before looking down at her fingers that scratched at the pillow in her lap, “Throw out a few words for me.” He encouraged. Well, when he said it like that she would definitely cooperate.

“Ummm…Independent. Smart. Tenacious. Incorrigible, or so I’ve been told.” She smiled to herself before looking up at him and he grinned as well before his smile dropped and he looked deep into her eyes, almost as if he was trying to figure her out just through the eye contact they held. It made her nervous so she looked away. She wasn’t easily intimidated by people, but he did the trick.

“And why are you here, Y/N?” He asked her more seriously.

“Well, it was on my schedule for today so…”

“Don’t be a smart ass with me.” He said and she looked up at him right away, the serious look on his face morphed into a smirk and she scoffed, annoyed that she fell for his trick, “So tell me, honestly, why do you think you’re here, Y/N?”

“I don’t know.” She said honestly with a shrug.

“So you being admitted here has nothing to do with your sex addiction then?” He asked and she laughed softly and shook her head. Here we go.

“I’m not a sex addict.” She said with a sigh, her eyes not daring to meet his and he glanced down at his file of her.

“That’s what your file says as the reason that you were admitted.” He challenged her.

“My file probably also says that my family believes I have a drug addiction but they made me pee in a cup and drew my blood yesterday when I got here and you’ll find that I’m perfectly clean so whatever is in that file is bullshit.” She said defensively, finally looking in his eyes with irritation and he sighed.

“I’m going to ask you some questions, they may be uncomfortable but I will need you to answer as honestly and accurately as possible.” He said and she frowned. Just as she was starting to like him…

“You don’t believe me?” She asked with creased in brows and a frown on her face.

“It’s not a matter of what I believe, Y/N. It’s a matter of confirming the diagnosis so that I know how to treat you from this point forward.” He explained, “It’s nothing personal, we just need to get through this bit today, alright?” He asked and she sighed.

“Fine.” Y/N huffed.

He then proceeded to ask her questions about her thoughts about sex, her behaviors, how often and how many times she masturbated in a day, in a week. How many people she had slept with and how often she had sex or engaged in sexual behaviors with a partner. Did she feel that her sexual impulses were too great for her to control. Did she only seek sex for orgasm/physical pleasure or did she also enjoy intimacy with partners. Had she ever gone out of her way or done something risky and extreme just to have sex or to obtain sexual gratification. How did she feel before and after she had sex. Did she feel that her sexual impulses, preferences, and behaviors were normal. She wasn’t sure what to make of her responses because the whole time his brows were knitted together as he nodded at her response before writing it down in his fucking notebook. He then asked her similar questions but having to do with drugs. These questions went on for about 15 minutes after he wrote the last thing down in the notebook she sighed.

“So what’s the diagnosis, doc?” She asked, feeling a bit nervous to hear his response. Maybe she was a perverted freak and this whole time she thought she was normal. It made her feel nervous and insecure as he glanced up at her from his notebook.

“Well you’re certainly not a drug addict.” He said and she rolled her eyes, of course not, “But the sex addict part, that’s also not a real psychological disorder, by the way. We would categorize it under an impulse control type of disorder or behavioral. But just from what I’ve heard now, I think it’s worth taking a little bit of a deeper look at. I’m not saying that you have these sexual impulse control issues, but there are somethings that I would like to unpack before labeling your sexual behaviors as deviant.” He explained thoroughly.

“Deviant?” She frowned, feeling completely disgusted with herself the second he said the word. Harry saw the way she completely deflated and recoiled once he said that.

“Deviant is just the psychological term we use to describe anything other than baseline or “normal”,” he signaled with air quotations, “There’s like an unspoken principle in psychology that we call the 4 D’s, they’re the things we look at to assess whether psychological intervention is necessary. They’re deviance, distress, dysfunction, and danger. Typically, if we assess that the behavior of concern breaches into any of these categories we would then recommend getting professional help.” He explained and that disarmed her a bit, he watched the tension slightly leave her frame, “That’s what a lot of the questions I asked you help me figure out. I know that, that was intense and intrusive, so I apologize if you feel uncomfortable or-”

“It’s cool, thank you for explaining. And I mean, I don’t mind talking about sex.” She said just to reassure him that she was OK, she had just never been asked for so much detail before. When he quickly jotted that down in his notebook she felt a tidal wave of insecurity drown her all over again. After a moment of silence as he finished writing he cleared his throat.

“Y/N, I’d like to see you three times a week to start and have you attend two groups a week.” He informed her. “I will look over your schedule and find some free times and add our appointments to your schedule. Do you prefer mornings or evenings?” He asked.

“Evenings. You won’t get much more than an attitude from me in the mornings.” She huffed out a little chuckle and he grinned, the tension breaking.

“I’m sure I can help you work on that.” He said with a chuckle and she smiled. He wasn’t so bad, but also, the therapy hadn’t really started yet, so maybe she’d grow to hate him. Or maybe she’d end up liking him, he didn’t seem so bad. And maybe, just maybe, he’d end up liking her too. “Well, that’s it for today. You’re free to go.” He smiled up at her and she nodded and got off the couch and left his office.

************

Y/N had been a challenge for Harry to say the least. She was charismatic and talkative up until he’d get into the nitty-gritty stuff in session. Suddenly it was like she forgot how to speak and she would just shut down. The first time it happened Harry informed her that he didn’t mind silence, he could sit there in the silence for the remainder of their session if she so chose. They practically did that first time up until the last ten minutes of the session when she then asked him a question. He was surprised by her resolve. Sure, the whole time she didn’t make any eye contact with him, but she was a headstrong little thing. She had described herself as tenacious if he recalled correctly. 

After that first week he decided that he needed to change his approach, he needed to regain control of the relationship. Going into that second week he adopted a more professional and direct approach to her and then the insecurities started bleeding through. The moment he no longer seemed approachable and friendly she became more cooperative. She had an innate tendency to be in good favor with him, and he was sure with others too. He wasn’t cold or mean, but he cut out the filler chit-chat he normally engaged in with his patients. His extent of “ice-breaking” was asking how her day had been and then he’d jump into the session. 

He could see by their third session that week that his change to their interactions was causing her distress. Distress wasn’t always a bad thing, but as a psychologist it’s within the code of ethics that they should not cause harm to a patient, whether that be physical, psychological, or emotional harm, it could ruin a person. So he needed to tread carefully with this. During their third and final appointment during that second week he added in a little bit more of a personal touch; after she confirmed that she had a good day he asked her what about it made it good and he watched her light up at the tiniest morsel of extra attention he gave her and she was even more cooperative this time around. She finally talked about her home life when he asked.

“So you would say that you and your mother don’t get along?”

“It’s not that we don’t get along…” she sighed, “I don’t think she gets me. All my life I was this perfect little princess up until I-” she stopped herself and his eyebrows creased, “until suddenly I wasn’t and she just… never trusted me again. She just saw me as someone disappointing and dirty.” She frowned.

“Does that have to do with why you were admitted here?” He asked and she swallowed hard but nodded shamefully, “It’s something to do with why she believes you have a sex addiction.”

“Yes.” She confirmed.

“Do you want to tell me what it is?” He asked and she sighed. She felt conflicted because on one hand if she admitted this and was able to stop carrying around the weight of the guilt on her chest it could feel great. But what if her admitting what she had done made him all weird and distant again? She didn’t like feeling like she had done something to make him upset at her.

“I…I want to but I can’t.” She accepted, eyes training on a little out of place string at the edge of the pillow in her lap. She started picking at it to distract herself from the discomfort she felt in the moment.

“Why not?”

“Because people clearly don’t react well to this so I… would rather not.” She huffed, irritated that the little string was not blending with the seam of the pillow and she pulled at it.

“But that’s my job, isn’t it? To hear you out and help with what you’ve got going on?” She continued pulling and then frowned when she realized that, that one little string was what had been holding the pillow together and she watched in horror as it split open and she immediately looked up to Harry.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” She said lowly and Harry watched her become so small at this little mistake. Like she was waiting for him to blow up on her and chew her up and spit her out. She was genuinely afraid and it completely broke the act he had put up for her that whole week.

“It’s OK.” He assured her.

“It’s not OK, I completely destroyed your pillow. I-I can see if someone has a sowing kit that I can borrow or-”

“A sowing kit in an in-patient psychiatric facility? Good luck.” He chuckled and she bit on her lip as her worry faded into a smile at his little joke. “I promise you, it’s alright. I didn’t really like that pillow anyway. Just got it because it went with the color scheme.” He reassured her and she nodded, still a bit unsure. “Now, if you’re not ready to talk about what happened to land you in here can you at least tell me why are you hesitant to share that with me?” He asked and she breathed out before she started picking at the sides of her thumbs, a nervous habit he had observed she had. 

“I’m nervous.”

“About?”

“About making you angry.” She said and swallowed the lump forming in her throat, “If I tell you what happened I’m scared that you’ll confirm that I’m some sex deviant or freak and that you’ll treat me differently. That you won’t want to work with me anymore, that you’ll be disgusted and not want anything to do with me like everyone else.” She explained with a frown,  avoiding his eyes. There was a fuck ton of shame and anxiety weighing her down in this moment, it was tangible in the air right now. He wanted to make that go away, he wanted to make her feel safe with him, give her confidence that he wasn’t going to abandon her - it was his job to do that.

“Hey, Y/N-” he said.

“Hmmm?” She asked and he frowned as she looked back down at the pillow she had destroyed.

“Look at me, Y/N.” He encouraged and after a few seconds her eyes flickered up to his, “I would never judge you or abandon you over a mistake you’ve made. I’m here to help you and being a prick about anything you tell me doesn’t help you. Now, I will be honest with you and call you out on your shit. But if you feel that I’m making it personal or attacking you in some way you can also call me out on it. We’re a team, you and I, we’re here working together to help you heal. And I can’t help you or give you the tools you need to heal if you can’t be honest with me.” He explained. As he told her this she felt that her attraction towards him morphed from just a physical one to a deeper one. This wasn’t good. “If you’re not ready to share it yet, that’s OK. But I just need you to know that at some point we’ll need to cross that bridge.” He explained and she bit her lip nervously and nodded in understanding, a tense silence taking over them as she thought about what he’d just said to her. She looked away from him again and he could see the cogs in her mind turning. Time was almost up, he briefly glanced to the clock behind her, it actually was up. He was about to tell her that they could pick up on this during their next session when she just…

“My mom found out that I was fucking my uncle.” She said suddenly and he was frozen, not expecting her to just come out with that then and there, “Well, he’s not actually my uncle, he’s my mom’s best friend’s husband, just a family friend that we just call uncle because he’s always been around. I would never actually fuck-“ she paused, looking concerned at his silence, “I’m not into my family in a sexual way, OK?” She clarified through a ramble and he nodded as her eyes met his, clearly terrified at how she phrased what she’d just admitted, “But I…I tend to only pursue unavailable or inappropriate men. Somehow this preference translated as a sex addiction to my mom. I just… like what I can’t have I suppose.” She said a bit sadly and he wasn’t sure what to say. 

He couldn’t really unpack this with her now, time was up and he needed to get home. On the other hand, she was his last patient of the day and he could go over a bit, but this needed more time than just ten minutes over their time, he really needed to sit down and unpack this with her. He was processing, deciding what he should say.

“Are you angry at me?” She asked nervously and his eyes met hers again, she looked so afraid and ready for him to confirm what she feared most and his eyes softened as he continued looking at her.

“No Y/N, I’m not angry with you.” He said tenderly and she bit her lip nervously, “Thank you for telling me and for trusting me with that.” He continued and she nodded, “I ummm, I was actually about to tell you that our time was up before you dropped that bomb.” He smiled and she chuckled and brought her hands up to her face as she chuckled nervously into them, shielding her face in embarrassment.

“Oh god. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know we were at the end of our time.” She said, sounding a bit muffled as her hands obstructed her face.

“it’s alright.” He chuckled, “It’s a bit past 8:30, so we can’t possibly unpack all of this now it’s a bit late.”

“No, yeah. We can talk about it next week.” She reassured him and he shook his head.

“No, we’re definitely going to meet tomorrow. I’ll let Betsy know on my way out that we’ll need to meet tomorrow at our regular time.” He said and she nodded, “But I’m glad we ended on this note, it gives you tonight to really process how it feels to have shared this with me. And well, I’ll also take advantage of the time to do my own processing. You’ve given me a lot to think about.” He said, his eye contact with her not wavering and he watched as her lips eventually turned up in a smirk, “Not like that.” He warned through a nervous chuckle and shook his head as his cheeks started staining pink, “Jesus, Y/N. Be a little serious yeah?” He grinned and she rolled her eyes playfully.

“Yeah, alright. M’sorry.” She hummed half-heartedly.

“No you’re not.” He mumbled lowly with a timid smile as he scribbled something down in his notebook. She looked at his pretty and warm smile and then down at his big, veiny hand as he gripped his pen dragging it across the page as he jotted down whatever thought was on his mind. He was absolutely and undeniably breathtaking. Time felt as if it stood still as she watched him; her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, a physical expression of her intent to refrain herself from letting her mind go to where it wanted to go so desperately. After what was actually just a few seconds he closed his notebook and then looked back up at her. His eyes immediately fell on her mouth, noticing just how hard she was biting her lip and he cleared his throat, effectively snapping her out of her inner battle.

“Well, again thank you for opening up to me. I’m sorry that we aren’t able to go through all this now and I hope you don’t feel regretful about it, but if you start to feel bad about telling me what you did and it gets to be distressing just let one of the nurses know, OK? They can call me and we can talk on the phone or if necessary, I can come in and talk you down if things get scary or overwhelming, OK?”

“Yeah, OK. Thank you, Harry.” He responded and he nodded with a smile.

“Perfect, you’re all good to go. I’ll uh- I’ll see you tomorrow, OK?” She nodded and stood from the couch and quietly made her way out.

As soon as his office door shut after her he exhaled a shaky breath. Harry felt nervous about this. Just the way she had looked at him just now. The way that she had reacted when he had pulled away from her a bit this past week… initially he thought that maybe she just really needed validation from others or attention, but after what she’d just disclosed to him he was starting to think that maybe she was attracted to him. He wasn’t trying to flatter himself or anything like that, he knew that he was attractive and had good and desirable qualities, but as he looked back at their interactions and as the pieces of the puzzle that were Y/N started falling into place he couldn’t help but feel slight concern. 

Y/N was beautiful, she was smart, as she had described herself, and she was charismatic, and nice. But considering what she had just shared with him he knew that part of her had to be alluring and cunning; how else does one get a committed person to stray from their partner? There was a nagging feeling deep inside of him that beckoned him to just talk to one of his fellow clinicians about this, to get some insight about how he should go about this with her. But it worried him that they might tell him that the ethical thing to do would be to cede her case to someone else. There were a of couple reasons for why he wouldn’t want to give up her case. Not only had he promised her that he wouldn’t abandon her, but he had put in great thought and work into building rapport with her and gaining her trust. He silenced that nagging little voice in his head and decided that he could do this. He was more than capable of helping her on his own.

***********

Y/N was extremely proud of herself. After the time she told Harry what her real issue was he was so gracious about it and every part of her was screaming, begging for her to make a move on him and she resisted. Also, he could probably see it coming from a mile away, she was sure of it, because whenever she could say something a little suggestive or talk about things in a certain way he tended to just smirk down at his notebook as he jotted things down. Things got really tempting on a few occasions when she saw that he had checked her out, but still she resisted. She had been at this facility for a month and boy, had she actually enjoyed it. Harry had helped her untangle the very twisted web that she was. He helped her understand why she was stuck in the pattern she had been in for so long. Most of it had to do with her upbringing, her view of herself, and her self worth. She would be leaving the following day and it was her last session with Harry. She was going to miss him, genuinely, and as she sat before him for the final time she felt a little sad. He had just notified her that he would be giving her some referrals for a clinician before she left the following day and then he got right down to it.

“So, it’s your last day. How are you feeling?” He asked her, trying not to dwell on the fact that he was upset that this was her last day in the facility. He would probably never see her again and it made him feel…sad.

“I’m excited to get to shower with a curtain and be able to open a window.” She said and he chuckled, “But it’s bittersweet.” She admitted and then looked around his office, she felt safe with him. She liked that he was the last person she got to see during her days here. Her eyes then fixated on the single lamp on his desk giving the space a warm and inviting glow. The same kind of glow he seemed to emanate on his own.

“Why bittersweet?” He asked her, crossing his arms pensively. She then realized that he didn’t have a notebook on his lap today. Harry was waiting for her response but he was hoping that she’d say something along the lines of missing him. Truth was, that in this past month with Y/N he started to understand why these men she set her sight on gave in to her seductions. He thought that she would cave at some point, even flirted a bit at times hoping that she’d be pushed to make a move on him, one that he had mentally decided he’d take advantage of if it came, but it never did. She excited him, kept him on his toes. And as he watched her lick over her plush and pretty lips before speaking he felt jealous of whoever she would soon find to kiss and lick over her lips. He never got his chance.

“Well I have made some friends here that I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to keep in touch with.” She explained, “I know at first I was resistant and a pain in the ass, but the staff have all been great as well…” she said and then sighed, “And well, I’m really going to miss seeing you too, Harry.” She finally said it and he smiled, he tried not to look excited as she said this.

“What do you think you’ll miss most?” He asked, “About me.” He then clarified and she smiled, “I’m not fishing for compliments, by the way.” He grinned and she giggled. He most definitely was fishing for compliments.

“I’m going to miss talking to you for sure. I know that we’re not supposed to be friends with our therapists or whatever,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “But if I’ve ever had a best friend in my life it would be you, I think.” She explained, “I like how you make me feel about myself. And how you helped me see myself. I understand myself more because of you. And I’m sure you already know this Harry, but you’re smart and kind and not intrusive even when you’re asking me awkward questions like how many times I masturbate in a week.” She said with grin and he chuckled.

“That was one time.” He interrupted with a smirk and she giggled.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that or will ever be asked that again, so it was memorable.” She stated and he chuckled.

“Yeah, it certainly was. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that some people masturbate almost every single day.” He said in a teasing tone and she scoffed.

“OK, like you don’t?” She said with an incredulous look and then caught herself and shook her head, “Sorry, what I was trying to infer is that guys get themselves off far more frequently than girls do. I wasn’t like thinking about you jerking off!” She said quickly and he smirked, his eyes not leaving hers, “Or at least I wasn’t.” She stated shaking her head and laughed awkwardly, “Sorry. Anyway…” she said looking down at her lap, avoiding eye contact with him because of her fumble and Harry bit his lip as he watched her nerves consume her. Everything about her body language indicated to him that she was into him and it was a real temptation.

“I do. By the way.” He added in after a moment of silence took over and she looked into his eyes.

“Do what?” Y/N asked suddenly a bit confused.

“Get myself off everyday. Or almost everyday.” He admitted nonchalantly and she felt her insides start to fire up at his confession, “At least once. I’ve got a really high sex drive.” He disclosed and she bit on her lip, her eyes darkening a bit as her mind started going places it shouldn’t and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Yet you’re not committed here.” She joked to try and dissipate the tension brewing between them and Harry smirked at her comment. Maybe this was a test of some sort? If it was about mental strength then she’d failed, she had already pictured him stroking his cock and squirting his cum all over her face. But physically, she wouldn’t give in. She could fantasize all she wanted, but she was not going to bend her will, so she looked away from him.

“Are you nervous?” He asked her and Y/N nodded, still not looking back in his eyes.

“Yeah, of course. What if I fuck up the second I’m out of here? Like if Chris wants to talk one-on-one and I completely throw out everything we’ve worked on together.” She shook her head with a frown and then finally looked back at him for some sort of guidance and reassurance now that she had been vulnerable about her concerns with leaving. He didn’t want to think about her with another man the second she walked out of here, it made him jealous.

“I wasn’t referring to you being nervous when you leave. I wanted to know if you felt nervous here, with me.” He clarified and she swallowed thickly, but shook her head.

“Ummm…no, I wouldn’t say I feel nervous with you.” She stated and he licked over his lips as he took her in for a moment. It made her heart pound in a way that she hadn’t felt in a while now. Then he stood up and approached the couch she was occupying one side of. He then sat down on the other end of it, his eyes still locked on hers.

“What about now?” He asked and she shook her head. He then moved to middle seat, beside her, “And now?” He asked again, her heart was beating wildly. From here she could smell his cologne and see his handsome face up close. Her pupils dilated, her body’s way of communicating that she was excited and captivated by the man before her, it didn’t go unnoticed by him, nevertheless, she shook her head, “Be honest.” He challenged her and she exhaled shakily.

“Yeah, it makes me a little nervous.” She confessed. He hummed and reached his hand towards her and settled it at her waist as his face came in close to hers. So much so that the tips of their noses brushed and she could smell the fresh mint on his breath from the fucking gum he was always chewing.

“And now?” He asked and she bit down on her lip, her eyes focused on how close his body was to hers, “Hey, be a good girl and look me in the eyes when I’m talking to you.” He demanded and her entire body fluttered when he said that and she had to obey him, “Are you nervous now?” He asked again and she nodded, “Use you words.”

“Yes.” She breathed out.

“Why?” He asked her, leaning in closer so that their lips almost touched.

“Because this is…wrong. We’re not supposed to be doing something like this.” She said.

“Am I to believe that if I were to reach into your panties and feel over your pussy it wouldn’t be all hot and sticky for me?” He asked, his lips skimming against her own and she wasn’t sure what to say, “Answer me.” He demanded and she shook her head.

“I can’t do this. We can’t. We shouldn’t.” She said shakily.

“Obviously. But do you want to?” He asked her and she bit down on her lip to suppress her moan. She was turned on beyond belief, “What if I told you that I have a wife and kid waiting for me at home? Would you want to then?” He asked and she shook her head, “You’re a liar.” He stated and she was feeling conflicted and unsure about what was happening but it was so fucking hot, she wanted to know how far he was willing to take this.

“M’not lying.” She defended herself.

“Yeah, you are. I just know that if I told you that my wife neglected me you’d be halfway there. What would really get you there would be if I told you that from the moment I saw you I was just captivated by you. That I’ve never seen someone so fucking beautiful. That she doesn’t compare to you. That I would never cheat, but you’re the exception.” He said and she whimpered.

“Th-that’s not fair, Harry.” She said with a frown and he felt a little guilty for a moment. She was right, he was being a manipulative piece of shit, but he wanted her so fucking bad 

“Yeah, you're right, Y/N. S’not fair, so I’ll be straight with you. I meant every word I said except I’m not married and I don’t have a kid. And I know that makes me…not your type, but let me tell you something. Who needs some used up old guy to make you feel good when you could have someone to keep up with your needy little cunt? Who can fuck you and make you cum whenever you want. Or maybe you just like being a dirty little secret, is that it?” He asked and she was panting now, suddenly feeling his other hand settling over her hand that was firmly planted on the couch.

“Harry-”

“That’s what you get off on, isn’t it? Being the side piece.” He said and she pouted, “Am I hurting your feelings?” He asked and she nodded, “I’m sorry, baby.” He cooed, “How should I make it up to you? Hmmm?” He asked her and then she realized he had pressed her  hand against his erection, it was straining against his trousers, and she bit her lip and looked up into his eyes as he guided her hand over the outline of his cock. “You’re so fucking perfect, you know that?” He hummed, “Just thinking about you gets me all worked up, baby. Come so fucking hard when I think about holding you down and fucking your face until you’re choking for air.” He said and she moaned.

“You really think about doing that to me?” She asked and he’d done it, her resolve had crumbled. 

“That and so much more.” He hummed.

“What else?” She asked as she started reaching further between his legs to let her fingers graze over his balls and he moaned when she did.

“The last few weeks I’ve thought of just making my move and having my way with you. Your body language, the way you look at me, the things you say, it’s all been screaming at me that you want me to fuck you. I wouldn’t even bother with stretching you out for me or waiting to get you wet for me, just force my cock into you dry if I had to, just wanted to fuck you.” Her eyes closed and she moaned again, squeezing her thighs together to feel some relief from the now constant throb of the hot and sopping mess that was her pussy.

“Please,” She panted, “do something, anything, just want to make you come.” She whimpered and his brows furrowed as he heard that.

“You want to make me come, baby?” She nodded, “And what about you, huh?” He asked her and he watched her eyes, almost tearing with desperation.

“Who cares? I just want to be good for you and make you come. As many times as you want, wherever you want. Just wanna make you feel good.” She keened and he wasted no time in pressing his lips to hers in a deep and needy kiss. After a moment he pulled back from her.

“I don’t know who the hell you’ve been with but in my book good girls get to come as many times as they want. And you, Y/N, are such a good girl.” He spoke before kissing her again, “You were so good before, saying no, rejecting my advances. You’re right, I didn’t play fair in the end there, but life’s not fair, baby. Next time you know that you need to be ready to face your ultimate temptation and beat it.” He said and she nodded before he kissed her again, “I’m really proud of you though.” He praised her and it made her feel like she was walking on air.

“Thank you, Harry.” She responded and he hummed before kissing her again. This time it deepened even more as their tongues met desperately. Licking into each other, sucking, nibbling, biting…Y/N felt like she was on fire as his heavier body weighed hers down.

“What do you want, baby? Tell me and I’ll do it.” He said and she looked into his eyes.

“Please fuck me.” She said softly and he nodded and dipped down to kiss her a little more intentionally. Slower and deeper and it made her feel strange. The only time she’s ever been kissed this way was when she had her first kiss. It was foreign to her to feel a tender touch coming from a man. Especially as his hands smoothed under her shirt, caressing her sides cautiously before covering her breasts, kneading and squeezing before pinching at her nipples. She whined as he did it again, but harder.

“Fuck, again!” She begged and this time he pulled back and pulled off her shirt before dragging the cups of her bra down before taking one of her nipples in his mouth and sucking hard making her hiss. His hands slid behind her to unclasp her bra and he just tossed it somewhere to the side before squeezing her breasts hard and moving to the next one and sucking against her already hardened nipple. He pulled back and looked at her bare chest, nipples taut and sensitive from his harsh sucks and nibbles. She wasn’t expecting it when he brought his right hand up and slapped at her her breast making her hiss. Her eyes met his with a darkened look and he grinned before doing the same to the other one and then reaching down to pinch her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers and she let out a choked cry at the pain mixing with pleasure.

“Harder?” He asked and she looked into his eyes and nodded with her lip bitten hard beneath her teeth, “You sure?” She nodded again and he pinched with more force making her mouth fall open and he watched as her body became covered in goosebumps and after a few seconds he let go and she moaned as his warm palms came over her breasts and held them tightly, reliving the sharp stinging feeling she felt shooting to her sensitive little buds, “Fuck. Are you OK?” He asked softly and she nodded, “Use your words for me, baby. Want to hear your voice.”

“Yes. I’m OK.”

“You liked it, right?” He wanted to confirm; with her tendencies he didn’t want her doing things she didn’t like just because she thought it would please him. He wanted to make that clear to her.

“Yeah. I like a little pain.” She said and he hummed before smiling.

“I do too.” He assured and she bit her lip upon hearing him say this. Her eyes glanced down to the very evident bulge in his pants, there was already a faint little wet patch where the tip of his leaking cock was pressed against. She reached forward to skim her index finger along the outline of his cock, she saw it twitch in its confines as she tickled over the tip and then back down towards his balls.

“So if I were to…” she suddenly squeezed hard at his balls and he lunged forward with a hiss at the sting that shot through his body before his eyes rolled back and he moaned.

“Oh fuck, baby.” He grunted as she loosened her grip and gently rubbed over them.

“That’s OK?” She asked and he nodded at her. Truth be told he always liked to fuck hard because there was nothing like the jolt he felt from that little sting he’d get when his balls would swing up and smack harshly into whoever he was fucking. It was the cherry on top for him, especially if the person he was fucking wasn’t comfortable to giving him a little bite of pain with his pleasure. She smirked up at him.

“What’re you smirking at?” 

“Nothing, you’re just as much of a kinky freak as I am.” She grinned and he hummed and leaned down to kiss her lips tenderly and just as she was losing herself in the kiss her bit down hard on her lip and she yelped before he pulled away with a grin.

“S’nothing wrong with being a little kinky.” He hummed and she smiled, “Now, how would you like me to fuck you, baby?” He asked and she melted internally at the way the words sounded and felt like thick, warm honey coming from his lips.

“Hard and rough. Please.” 

“Fuck,” he breathed out with a smile, “You’re such a good girl with those manners.” He hummed, “Now, go on, baby. Get my cock out.” He said and she immediately moved her hands to his trousers, working at his belt and tugging it out before tossing it aside and popping open the button, looking up at his eyes as she blindly pulled down his zipper and tugged down to reveal his muscular and tattooed thighs, “Good girl. My briefs too though, baby.” She nodded and tugged them down his thighs as well. 

Y/N literally felt her saliva start to pool beneath her tongue as his thick, heavy cock fell forward between their bodies, the dark pink, leaky tip lightly grazing at her stomach a few times as it bobbed up and down a few times before it was still. 

“Holy shit.” She whispered, completely mesmerized by his penis and his lips twitched up to the side in a smug smirk. 

She liked that his pubic hair was there and well maintained. She let her eyes wander up to the laurels he had tattooed right above where his hair grew thicker. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed nervously, but she found that her mouth had again produced an ungodly amount of saliva, so instead she glanced up at him as she slightly parter her lips and then brought up her hand to spit some on it and he bit hard on his lip, nodding at her. She took this as the go-ahead to wrap her wet palm around his hot and hard cock. She dragged her fist up, letting out a small whimper as she watched his foreskin hide the tip of his cock for a moment, collecting his pre-cum, and then she stroked down and rubbed her thumb right under the head of his penis and then up and until she was rubbing against where he was leaking for her.

“Shit…” he huffed, watching her hand playing with his cock. It was better than he had imagined it would be. She looked up at him as her other hand went to his balls and squeezed gently at first and he moaned quietly. Then she added a bit more pressure and his brows knitted together as he frowned but still emitted a pleasured moan as she gently stroked his shaft, “Harder.” He groaned and a tingle of excitement shot through her body at his request as she added even more pressure to her grip around his balls and focused her strokes right over his tip. Harry’s eyes squeezed shut as he let out a strangled moan, “Fuck yeah.” He hissed as his eyes opened and met hers. They were dark and overcome with lust. Lust for her. She wanted him to come, she started stroking faster and kissed his lips quickly.

“Want them in my mouth.” She said and he nodded standing and rearing back, letting her get on her knees. The second his balls were within reach she opened up her mouth and sucked one into her mouth, knowing he didn’t mind some pain she sucked a bit harder, loving how his fingers raked into her hair and gripped it forcefully. She continued working her fist over his shaft quickly. As for her hand that was unoccupied, she ran her index finger under lips, lubricating it with the spit that was dripping out of her mouth. Without any warning she rubbed it against his asshole and he moaned, but relaxed himself so that she could press her finger past the tight ring of muscles. He was so tight and hot, and finally she felt the slightly raised bump inside and rubbed her finger into it. Harry felt his knees buckle as she rubbed into his prostate.

“Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me come!” He panted in a deep and gruff voice. His abs started tightening and his balls drawing up, slightly aching as she sucked at them just right. He was getting there so quickly, faster than he expected but this with her was far more pleasurable than he had dreamed. “Fuck, Y/N fuck!” He grunted as he started tipping over the edge, “Wanna come in your mouth, want you to taste my sperm, baby.” He panted, losing his resolve to hold out any longer as she moaned against him. She quickly brought her mouth over his tip and he starting bucking into her mouth shallowly. He glanced down to watch as half of his cock disappeared between her perfectly delicious lips.

The sight alone was more than enough to push him over the edge. Harry’s eyes clenched shut as the pleasure started to take over, his thrusts becoming inconsistent and sloppy as he burst in her mouth. He pulled her hair harder as her finger prodded hard into his prostate, effectively milking him for all he had to give her. He hissed as she started to suck around his tip, drawing as much of his cum out of his cock as possible. After a few seconds the sensitivity started to take over, but he didn’t want her to stop. He felt like his mind had completely spiraled and that he had shifted into a completely different plane of existence as she slowly started to slow down but not enough to interrupt the stimulation. His whole body was buzzing deliciously.

“Fuck baby, don’t stop. Don’t stop.” He found himself breathing out and she moaned around his cock, “Please don’t stop. Make me come again. Have so much more for you, baby girl.” He moaned. The truth was that Harry had been training himself for this exact situation. He was always training to last for ages, to come multiple times in short periods, to shorten his refractory period - he didn’t want to waste time when it came to sex. This is why the overstimulation he was feeling now was enough to keep him going. It was the perfect mix of pain and pleasure. His free hand was planted on the couch’s armrest, his arm was completely tense and his legs were quivering, barely holding him up as he felt himself just seconds away from his next orgasm. His breathing had hitched and the lack of proper oxygen intake from his shallow breathing made his throat and chest start to burn. And harder than the first one, this orgasm really did him in. He didn’t even have time to warn her, he just completely lost control as he bucked his cock desperately into her mouth, so much so that her hands instantly moved  to grip the the backs of his thighs, nails digging into his skin with a delicious bite as he filled her mouth with his warm and generous load once again.

Y/N was struggling to breathe, he’d come so much this time, she could feel it and her spit leaking down her chin. Her throat was burning because she was so desperate for air, but the tip of his cock was forcing itself down the opening of her throat and despite her hands squeezing hard at his thighs, begging for him to draw back he wasn’t pulling back. It was making her eyes water and for her to start to feel a little lightheaded. Finally, after a few second he started drawing back and she took in a deep breath before coughing as she leaned her face against the tiger inked into his thigh. 

“Shit…” He panted with a shaky voice as his fingers raked through her hair tenderly, “Sorry, didn’t-” he gulped down the air he was taking, “Didn’t even give you a warning, baby.” He apologized and she shook her head and smiled, her eyes still closed as she tried to catch her breath.

“It’s OK, that was so good.” She got out with a scratchy voice and he bit his lip. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a sexual partner, what a shame that he’d probably never see her after this. It just felt wrong to lose her, he didn’t want to think about it right now. Not as he felt her nuzzle closer to his thigh before kissing it gently. She then glanced up to him and he smiled down at her and she grinned before pushing herself to stand. She then glanced around and went to pick up her bra and shirt and he frowned.

“What’re you doing?”

“Getting dressed.” She smiled at him.

“We’re not done yet.” He said and she glanced down at his cock. It wasn’t soft, but it wasn’t hard either, she then looked up at his face again, “Gimme like five minutes, yeah?” He grinned as he walked over to his desk and took a drink from his water bottle and she narrowed her eyes.

“Five minutes?”

“I’ve been practicing a long time just in case I was ever in a situation like this.” He shrugged with a grin and she giggled. Harry stayed by his desk and toed off his shoes and then pulled off his socks before completely tearing off his pants and briefs. “Now, c’mere.” He hummed and she made her way over to his desk. He grabbed her face before kissing her slowly, but the way he was using his tongue and lips against hers were making her stomach flutter with butterflies. Suddenly he let her go to make space for her on his desk. She heard as a few things scraped against the surface of the wood while a few others fell to the ground. His hands landed on her ips and then slid back to grab at her ass. He lightly smacked at her a couple times before telling her to jump. He caught her and seated her on his desk, spreading her legs apart by her knees to settle in closer to her. 

As they continued kissing Y/N turned her head away before letting her lips wander down his jaw and then his neck, sucking lightly but not enough to leave marks. Her nimble fingers started unfastening the buttons holding his shirt closed, fingers tickling at his skin every now and again and it made him smile as her lips kissed at every inch of newly exposed skin on his chest.

“Your tattoos are pretty.” She spoke absentmindedly before she sunk her teeth into his clavicle, making his hands dig into her thighs at the sting from the surprising action. As his pecs came into sight she felt even more dizzy. She kissed down his sternum, smiling at the tickles on her lips and the tip of her nose from the smattering of hair on his chest. She had finished unbuttoning his shirt and her hands slid up his tummy and over his pecs before she turned and bit down gently on one of his nipples. Just from that his cock started getting stiff again. She then did the same to the other, she smiled smugly against his warm and soft skin as she felt his grip tighten around her thighs. She pulled back to get a good look at him and smiled again upon seeing the butterfly tattooed right over his stomach, it was so pretty. Harry’s heart started thumping hard and his tummy fluttering with more than just anticipation and lust, as he watched her take in the tattoo inked into his stomach. The smile that spread on her face brought a warmth to him that he didn’t know he was missing until it came.

“Did it hurt?” She suddenly asked and he smiled and nodded.

“But as you know, I don’t really mind that.” He grinned and she sniggered as her finger traced the outline of it, making his abs flex with the slight tickles. He was a fucking masterpiece, “Do you have tattoos?” He asked and she shook her head.

“My mom thinks they’re vulgar, always said she’d kick me out if I got one.” She said and he hummed, “I do want one though. I’ll just get it when I’m out of there.” She hummed. She could now feel his fully hard penis against her thigh as her finger absentmindedly followed the dips of his abs and she smiled up at him, “Impressive.” He chuckled lowly.

“Told you. It also helps when you’re really into the person you’re with.” He added and she glanced down as she felt her face becoming hot at his compliment.

Harry smiled as he watched her break eye contact timidly and after a few moments he gripped her chin between his fingers and coaxed her to look back up at him. His eyes scanned over hers for a few seconds before he leaned down to connect their lips in a much slower and sultry kiss. Y/N was not really one to allow for tenderness to seep into her sexual encounters, but this kiss was something different. It made a warm feeling glaze over her heart and slowly spread through her entire body, like a thick syrup. 

Their kiss started inching away from tender and towards the territory of hungry and desperate. His hands spread her legs for him and wrapped them around his hips. He pressed his body flush to hers and moaned into their kiss as his big, thick cock snuggled into the hot and sopping folds of her pussy, his tip nudged against her clit every now and again, making both of them shudder. He shifted his hips until he felt his tip catch against the dip of her entrance and he pushed forward but not hard enough to push past her opening. She was getting so desperate for him; hungry to feel him slowly push into her and spread her. She was just about to protest his teasing when out of nowhere he forcefully shoved his cock all the way into her without warning. His darkened eyes watched as her delicate features creased with what was evidently discomfort. Her lips turned down as a surprised groan spilled past them. She was fucking tight. Her cunt’s vice-like grip even caused some pain to his cock as he se settled deep into her. He didn’t give her time to adjust, she’d get used to it in just a bit. She winced as he dragged his cock out almost to the tip and then rammed back into her hard.

“Shit!” She whimpered feebly, fingers gripping hard into his biceps for some form of grounding and he groaned from deep in his chest as her clenching walls did the absolute most to try and get him to stop and give her a second to adjust, her body resisting his thrusts from the shock of it all, “It hurts a little, you’re too big!” She gasped and his lips met hers sloppily as he opted for grinding into her instead, trying to get his cock in deeper, as deep as he could get it.

“It’s alright, baby. It’ll start to feel good soon.” He promised her, his lips skimming and smearing against her own as he spoke. She wiggled her hips a bit and just then she gasped and curled into his body; her arms hugged around his back and squeezed him tight. Harry smirked as he started to pulse his hips, feeling her legs start to quiver as his cock stimulated her g-spot. “Fuuuuuck.” He moaned. It felt so good against the tip of his penis, so spongey and warm, the texture and ridges of her cunt were absolutely perfect for him and he started going a bit harder. 

“Oh my god!” She gasped into his chest and he hummed in delight before he bit down hard on his lip as her nails raked down his back. Hard.

“Told you it’d feel good soon.” He hummed knowingly.

“Yeah. Fuck yeah!” She confirmed, “You’re fucking me so good!” She whimpered, “Harder, please. Fuck me harder!” She mewled. 

Harry grunted loudly and pushed her further back on his desk until she was laying on her back and he climbed on the desk and kneeled, pulling her hips into him. He shoved his cock back into her pulsing and sore little hole and immediately started to pick up the pace and force of his thrusts. Her breath had suspended for a moment as he pounded away at her without mercy. All that could be heard for those few seconds were his labored breaths and the sound of his balls thwacking wetly against her ass. He pressed his hands to her inner thighs, spreading her even more open for him, allowing him to get closer to get in deeper, this is what made her gasp for air as a strangle moan left her throat. Harry watched with a nearly pained look as her little pussy took his entire cock, right up to his balls over and over and over again. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand as a delicious and familiar tingle shot through his whole body. He then lowered himself down, his nose skimming hers and his lips hovering right above hers as he continued his thrusts.

“Oh my god, you’re so good, Harry! So fucking good!” She praised through a moan, “I’m gonna come soon!”

“Would love to keep giving you my cock to get you there, but only good girls get to come.” He said and she pouted.

“So good for you!” She whimpered, her teary eyes met his own darkened and stern eyes.

“Are you really?” He asked and she nodded, “Don’t think so, Y/N.” He said and she frowned even more, her chest stirring with hurt and offense at his words. A total contrast to the warm and delicious feelings swirling and brewing in her tummy.

“I am good. I am.” She fought back, trying not to get too upset over this.

“No you’re not, Y/N.” He huffed, “You’re an insatiable, manipulative, little whore.” He said and the moment the words left his mouth she felt a tingle shoot up her spine. He felt her walls clench down hard around him as he said this and he hummed, “Is that being good?” He asked and she shook her head with a frowned and then he gave a really rough thrust and it completely opened her up for him so that he sunk deeper and his tip collided with her cervix. She gasped, body taught as a bow at the feeling of pain and pleasure blending beautifully and chaotically, making her brain feel like mush as the only thing she could feel now was him, “Holy fucking shit.” He grunted out and started pulsing his hips gently, his tip kissing her cervix with every movement, it had his toes curling. Y/N felt like she was going to combust, more so because with the way he was thrusting she was getting just enough contact against her clit and holding back her orgasm was getting harder. Hot tears started to streak down her face from the desperation

“Please, Harry! Please, let me come!” She sobbed and he grinned wickedly.

“No. You’re a selfish and disgusting home-wrecker.” He berated her, he didn’t stop because he felt her start to pulse around his cock at this, “And you like it, you can’t lie to be about that. Makes you feel good, huh? And special? As if that’s the only thing you’re good for.” He said and she frowned again “Don’t pout and feel sorry for yourself, baby. It’s the truth and if that’s who you’re gonna be you better fucking own it.” He said and she moaned, her back starting to arch. “Tell me what you are. Wanna hear you say it.” He egged her on.

“Harry-”

“Admit it and I’ll let you come.” He said and she whimpered and looked into his eyes.

“I’m…” she frowned, “I’m selfish and disgusting.” She confessed, “I’m a home-wrecker and I like it.” She confessed, “I do like how it makes me feel, it is what I’m good for.” She whimpered in a feeble voice and he groaned and shook his head, a little too fucked out to say anything else.

“Come for me, Y/N. Come for me so I can fill your little pussy with my cum.” He said and she gasped and started to tremble as a tidal wave of pleasure just took her out. He started pounding faster into her cunt and started to rub at her clit until she was moaning until he felt her cum gushing from her entrance, splashing against his tummy and thighs from the force of his thrusts, “Oh fuck, even have you squirting on my cock, baby. Fuck!” He mewled and after a few sloppy thrusts he was groaning as his orgasm almost felt like it punched him in the gut. He felt as his balls pulsed hard against her, pumping all of his cum into her needy little cunt.

“Oh my god!” She whispered as she hugged him tight, “Can feel you filling me up.” It made her feel some kind of way. She’d never fucked anyone bare, no one had ever actually came inside of her before and it was incredible.

“S’my little pussy now, isn’t it?” He asked her as he slightly pushed himself up to look at her face. She was all fucked out, mascara smeared, eyes heavy and skin blotchy, and looking like she wasn’t all there. Nevertheless she nodded at his question, “Filled you with my come so now you’re all mine.” He repeated and kissed her lips tenderly, completely opposite to the way in which he had just fucked her. Already, she could feel her inner thighs and pubic bone were sore from his aggressive maneuvers, she’s sure that her pussy would hurt too in a little bit once she regained feeling there. They made out languidly for a little bit and he had started to soften up a bit more. “M’gonna pull out, OK? S’gonna feel uncomfortable.” He warned her and she nodded, biting on her lip to muffle the whimper that bubbled in her throat. He too hissed a bit and then moved off of the desk. Now she started to feel the thrum between her legs, still it was a bit dull and would likely get worse in the next hour. She had never been fucked like this, she was unsure of what to make of everything that happened, all she knew was that she didn’t regret it one bit. Everything had been so good because he seemed to know what buttons to push and how and when to do it. Like he had been given a manual on her and memorized it. The fact that he was her therapist probably helped a bit, but he also understood her on a deeper level, they were in a way the same.

Y/N couldn’t bring herself to move yet, she just stared at his ceiling as she heard him shuffling around. She started getting drowsy and let her eyes flutter closed for just a few minutes.

“Y/N, hey.” He squeezed at her calf and she groaned tiredly, “Bend your legs f’me, baby.” He said and she did so with his help, still drowsy as hell, “M’gonna clean you up, OK? Sorry, s’a bit cold.” He said and she frowned and hissed as she felt a soft damp texture against her center, but soon the cold soothed her swollen and beat up pussy, “Push, just a little.” He said and presumably wiped up his sperm leaking from her entrance, “Good girl.” He hummed and pressed a kiss to each of her knees before pulling away. “Grab my hand.” He said and she did and he pulled her up to a sitting position. Suddenly she felt really cold and exposed. Her blurry eyes adjusted and saw that he was now in his briefs, “Here, have a little water.” He said extending his water bottle to her and she took it with shaky fingers and glued some down as he rubbed over her thighs gently until she was done. Her eyes met his and he looked a little worried, “Are you o-” he stopped himself, “D-do you regret it?” He asked and she frowned and shook her head.

“No.” She assured softly and he looked more at ease. “Do you?” She asked and he shook his head with a timid smile.

“But I ummm, obviously didn’t use a condom, didn’t even ask you if it was OK t-to come inside of you. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I got really lost in the moment.” He rambled, “Are you on something or can I bring you an emergency contraceptive early tomorrow?” He asked and she smiled at him. Is this what sex is like for everyone or is Harry just thoughtful and caring like this? She asked herself, “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just really sweet.” She said as he hands came over his and rubbed over them, “And I’ve got the implant so we should be OK. Also I’ve always used condoms, given my…regular preferences, so I’m also aware that I’m clean.” She assured him and he nodded.

“OK. Me too. Sorry, we’re doing this all wrong, but ummm, I’m not usually this impulsive.” He explained and she giggled.

“It’s alright.” She assured and he smiled.

“Alright, let’s get you dressed.” He said and he collected her clothes and helped her get her bra and top on. Even slid her panties up her legs and helped her with her pants, “There you are.” He smiled.

“Thank you.” She hummed and he gabbed her face gently and leaned in to kiss her once more. Just a soft and sweet kiss that made her breathing suspend for just a moment before he pulled back, the space between them was still minimal as he pressed his fore head against hers.

“I want you to know that the things I said about you, being a whore and selfish and I don’t even know what else…”

“A disgusting home-wrecker is what you said, I think?” She responded and he frowned upon hearing it.

“I hope you know in your heart that you’re not those things. It was just a sex thing and-”

“I know. Kinda into the degradation thing too, don’t worry. S’rather tame to what I’ve heard in the past.” She said and that made his stomach twist with hurt for her.

“But you know that it’s not true right?” He asked her again and she stayed quiet, “Baby, s’not true. This past month you’ve worked so hard on the root causes of what was leading you to make those choices. You’re so much more than your mistakes and regrets. Remember who you are. But I know it's hard sometimes, so if you ever find yourself doubting or forgetting that please call me. I’ll always make time for you.” He assured her and she bit her lip as her eyes watered, she was trying not to cry but when he kissed her forehead the tears started to fall and he hugged her into his chest as she started to sob, “Shhh, shhhh, s’alright.” He comforted her with a soft and comforting whisper, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” He reassured her. It was time for her to get back to her room, it was a little past 8:30 now and he drew back from her once her crying had calmed and he helped wipe at her tears.

“Thank you, Harry.” She said and he smiled at her once more.

“Try getting down?” He requested and as soon as she landed on the ground her legs trembled and her knees gave. He caught her almost immediately and they both giggled at that, “OK, just lean here for a little until you’re good enough to walk. I’ll walk with you you to your room, OK?” She nodded with a smile. He finished getting dressed and gathered his belongings before they made their way down the halls and finally they got to her room and he stepped just a bit past the threshold, they both glanced out into the hallway before he dipped down and kissed her deeply for a few seconds before he pulled back.

“Let me leave my card with you now and I’ll jot down my cell on the back, OK?” She nodded and he pulled a pen from his backpack and a business card from his wallet before scribbling his number on it and leaving her with one final kiss goodnight.

*************

Harry and the nurses that mainly worked with her had a little farewell surprised for her on her way out. A card and some flowers, nothing over the top, but still sweet. Y/N’s mom saw the genuine sadness that Y/N’s team had for seeing her go, but also heard how proud of her they were and that she would be just fine. Then the time came for Y/N to actually go and she hugged her care team members, leaving Harry for last, maybe he stood on the end on purpose  because he wanted to be her final goodbye. She smiled as she went up to him and hugged him tight around his stomach, discreetly breathing in his scent.

“M’gonna miss you. But I promise you, you’re ready and you’re gonna be just fine. I’m so, so proud of you.” He said as she squeezed her tight before letting go and she sighed shakily as a fresh wave of tears streaked her cheeks and she giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Sorry guys.” She sniffled and everyone giggled away the tension. She was still gripping Harry’s hand tight, not quite ready to let go yet.

“Ready, sweetheart?” Her mother asked and Y/N looked to her nurses and then at Harry who squeezed her hand tight.

“Remember who you are.” He mouthed to her and she nodded and took in a deep breath and let him go. She had no idea what would come of this or if she would ever even need to call him at any point in time, but as she walked out the doors with a final wave goodbye and her eyes met his one last time she was just filled with happiness to have crossed paths with him.

———A/N———

If you like this ending you don’t have to continue to parts 2 & 3, they are a bit more serious. No smut until part 3 & it’s more romantic than kinky.

READ PART 2

[matan4il]

Buddie 605 meta

I’ll start kind of at the end and mention Christopher’s diagnosis of Hoover’s mental health. It’s a cute moment, but I think it also is a reflection of how this kid has a dad who’s now going to therapy to work on himself and get better. Not only that, Chris has a dad who’s doing that and it’s implied Eddie comes home and shares some of his new found insights with his son, just like we’ve seen him doing with his colleagues. This is also a part of good parenting, just being honest about his experiences at therapy, and in the process Eddie’s sharing tools that can help Chris better understand the world. This is a part of why I stan the Diaz boys. ~~

I always love seeing our battlefield boyfriends working together seamlessly, and we get that in the very first call of the ep already. Now you can tell me that them working together on the calls is breadcrumbs, but we have had a substantial number of eps where we didn’t get even that. And this thing where they’re work husbands, it’s a part of how they express their bond in the most fundamental of ways. It’s essential. So I can never see it, even in tiny doses, and not fangirl.

Moreover, it leads to the fullest Buddie moment of the ep, when they show up to help Marisol with her house. They destroyed a portion of her house together on the job, so they are there to fix it together. But if you think about it, that doesn’t actually make sense. How many places have they had to tear down as a part of their job over the years? Why is it Buck and Eddie out of the core team to show up and not others as well? Bobby was the one who had the idea of cutting into this girl’s ceiling. It was Chim riding in the ambulance along with Eddie and the siblings, seeing their moving conversation. So why is it Buck there at the end with Eddie instead of Chim? Why isn’t Bobby there? And from the storytelling POV, wouldn’t a better resolution be for this girl’s brother to get to prove himself in some way as her big brother? Maybe not in the way that he intended, but still one that matters. We’ve had the wrap up for emotional calls have nothing to do with the 118. Yet instead, we get this scene with Buddie visually coming together to save the day. Maybe Buddie just miss the quiet intimacy of fixing walls together, as they did in 518. In any case, it’s clear 911 is reminding us that while it IS an ensemble of characters, ships and storylines, regardless of where the focus is in a specific ep, Buddie never stop being important to this show. ~~

Lastly, remember how we had a party at Bathena’s in 301 for Buck who passed an important test, there was a lot of emotional interaction between him and Eddie, but then this was setting up an emergency involving one of them, and with the resolution of that storyline, they became even closer than they were? Well, this ep gave us a party at Bathena’s for Hen who passed an important test, there was a lot of emotional interaction between her and Karen, but then this was setting up an emergency involving one of them. Pretty sure it would also lead to some resolution that will make Henren get even closer and appreciate what they have even more than they already do... I’m not saying that Buddie is paralleling one of the show’s canon ships already, before this Henren storyline has even fully kicked off, but that’s exactly what I’m saying. These repeated and pronounced parallels of Buddie with every canon ship can’t all be coincidences.

~~ ~~ Thank you so much for reading this! And for every reblog and like! If you’re interested in catching up, you can find my 604 meta and more of my content on my blog. Thank you to the star that is @whosoldherout​ who keeps making these meta posts 500% better with her gifs.

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

[AU, SMUT] What Are You? | Bucky x Steve x Reader

Category: AU, Smut (Mandatory) Age: 18+ Trigger Warnings: Mafia themes, derogatory language, intercourse Ship: Steve x Bucky x Reader Summary: Steve and Bucky Are Planning Some Work With a Client, But What Happens When That Client Doesn't Respect Their Girl? Request: N/A Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 2.6k

—

Almost everyone knew - there was no doubt about that. Everyone should’ve known, at least, but those who didn’t pay enough attention… sorry for them.

Everyone who heard the sound of the heels clacking against the marble flooring would straighten themselves up as if the sound was coming from the men themselves.

Which men? Oh, which men indeed.

That’s not to say that the woman couldn’t have any kind of friendships with any of the men in the building - she does need a little bit of platonic fun here and there.

“Slow down, Aphrodite, you might chip the flooring.” A mocking voice calls from behind her. Despite it being from a familiar face, the other men still stiffen as if they were the ones doing wrong.

“You might shatter the mirrors if you look in them for any longer.” The woman retorts as she attempts to hide the grin that forms at her own comeback.

The man, however, doesn’t even try to hide his smile as he turns his strides into a jog to catch up with her.

“How do you even know how often I stare in the mirror? You spying on me?” Sam asks, the pair glancing at each other and both now smiling.

“So you admit that you stare at the mirror, and not just look at it?” The woman tactically avoids his question with her own retort.

Sam’s laugh echoes through the corridor they’re walking through. It’s quite spectacular really - some would mistake it for being a palace. A place where only the good-willed people reside. Almost a shame that it’s full of the likes of James ‘Bucky’ Barnes and Steve Rogers - the two men who own just about all the power there is in New York, let alone Manhattan.

“You know they’re not done yet, right?” The man quizzes, a content smile still on his lips as his hands rest in the front pockets of his black trousers.

The woman doesn’t respond, simply nods.

Sam catches it out the corner of his eye and simply shakes his head.

“You have a habit of interrupting their meetings.”

“And you have a habit of saying things that might get you killed one day.” (Y/N) answers, but her gentle smile admits that that’s not entirely true.

Her attire consists of a loose but very fitting crimson dress that sits mid-thigh, along with the matching red heels that are buckled around her ankles. A simple silver chain around her neck that has two small, but very expensive, black and red diamonds resting in the centre of her collarbone.

“Tell Steve that his car’s being valeted if he needs it anytime soon.” The man comments as he turns off down another corridor, different to (Y/N)’s route.

She simply nods again.

Why is it that she’s heading toward her husbands’ meeting? Because she’s interested in seeing how it will end. The man who has been persisting to speak with Steve and Bucky for the last sixteen months is desperate, to say the least. He wants investment in their three hotels that are situated across NYC, in Queens, Brooklyn and Manhattan.

She was the one who decided on where those hotels would be built, so she wants to see the man, John Walker, crumble as her partners’ pretend they care, only to tell him no.

It might seem like a waste of time but in reality, it’s to see how the man deals with hearing the word no, and whether Bucky and Steve need to deal with him.

“Ma’am.” Christopher greets as (Y/N) approaches the door of the conference room that her men are in.

“Chris.” She responds, nodding her head as he opens the door for her. “How’s it going, gentlemen?” The woman adds as she casually struts into the room, grabbing everyone's attention.

There’s a moment of silence as everyone turns to look at the woman who’s interrupted their meeting. Steve and Bucky simply smile as they take a moment to admire their wife.

“Excuse me?” John is the first to speak up and everyone’s attention turns to him, including (Y/N), who doesn’t seem phased by his evident frustration.

“You’re excused.” Her response is simple but ignites a spark inside of the man.

“Do you usually let whores just stroll around and cause inconvenience in their wake, gentlemen?” He asks, but his eyes remain on (Y/N).

The woman’s eyebrows raise, and a surprised but impressed smile etches its way onto her face. She says nothing. John stares at her with a quirked brow, waiting for a response from the two men his question was directed to, so obliviously aware of the fearful stares he’s now getting from everyone else in the room.

Bucky and Steve’s heads turned very slowly, in sync, back toward their guest, their smiles now distorted into that of pure fury.

“Would you like to say that again?” Steve speaks up first, John now turning his head toward the boss in curiosity of his sudden change of voice.

That’s when the man notices all the stares on him. His eyebrows furrow as he acknowledges everyone’s expression. His eyes flick from the other men in the room to Bucky and Steve, to (Y/N), and back to the two leaders.

He gulps.

“I said: Say. It. Again.” Steve enunciates.

“Come here, doll,” Bucky speaks up also, his eyes flicking from John to (Y/N) for a brief moment, his arm opening up and inviting the woman to situate herself on his knee.

The woman obliges, striding over to her husbands and letting the brunet’s arm wrap around her as she sits.

John’s eyes haven’t left Steve’s, too mortified to even blink, but he catches the action of Bucky and (Y/N).

Steve’s eyebrow quirks, reminding his guest that he’s waiting. And Steve hates waiting.

“I didn’t mean- I didn’t know she was- gentlemen, please, look, this is all a big misunderstanding, I just-”

“Called our woman a whore and an inconvenience.” Bucky finishes his sentence, his expression just as murderous as Steve’s, despite the soothing actions of his hand stroking his wife’s waist.

“I didn’t know she was your-”

“And you think that excuses it?” Steve interrogates. “You think calling any woman a whore is acceptable? An inconvenience?”

John gulps and the sound echoes in the room. His eyes flicker away from Steve’s for a moment to the woman herself, intentionally or not, but his eyes drop to the prominent cleavage on display.

Bucky smirks at the action that most definitely didn’t go unnoticed by himself.

“Sweetheart,” Steve begins, John’s attention darting straight back to the blond’s once more. (Y/N) hums in response. “Who do you belong to?”

(Y/N) bites her lip, core throbbing at the obvious dominance and possession of the two men.

“You and James.” She whispers, Bucky’s hand gripping her waist tightly at the use of his birth name.

The sweat glistening on John’s forehead is clear as day.

Knowing what’ll get everyone in the room riled up even moreso, (Y/N) turns herself around so she’s facing Bucky, sat on his lap, legs on either side of his body. Everyone else in the room keeps their eyes firmly locked on the glass table or the white ceiling.

A pleasant hum resonates from the brunet’s throat, his hands naturally adjusting to rest on her hips.

The moment John’s eyes flicker to (Y/N) once more and then drift down her back, a gun is cocked and metal is pressed firmly against the back of the man’s head.

The woman goes to turn her head around to see what’s happened but Bucky’s lips locking with hers prevents that from happening. She whimpers against his mouth and he absolutely adores it.

“Bend over this table for me, doll.” The man murmurs. “Let’s show Mister Walker what a proper whore looks like.”

The excitement that sparkles in his wife’s eyes makes his cock throb between his legs.

“Yes, sir.”

The pet name makes both men throb.

The woman stands up and turns herself around, making sure every sway of her hips is a show to be watched. Her eyes lock with none other than their security lead, Tony Stark, who’s holding the gun up to Walker’s head, as she bends herself over the table, dress drooping at the front to display her cleavage.

Tony’s eyes don’t even flicker away from her own. The staff in this building know better than to try and indulge in what is rightfully Bucky and Steve’s. John, however, sees this as a prime opportunity to stare at what he believes he’s being offered, his trousers getting tighter.

(Y/N) sees it. She finds is humorous.

Bucky’s hands slide their way up the backs of his wife’s bare thighs, pushing up the crimson material as he reaches it.

Her eyes flutter shut and lips part in satisfaction at the feeling.

“Tell us what you want, doll.” Bucky mumbles, sitting the bottom of her dress at the base of her back, grinning at her lack of underwear.

“Touch me.”

The explicit word that escapes John’s lips are heard clear as day and he knows it, face once again panicking as he looks back at Steve, whose expression still hasn’t changed.

“Where do you want me to touch you, princess?” James continues, not paying an ounce of attention to anyone else in the room right now besides his missus.

His fingers stroke the top of her inner thighs, seeing her soaking wet core already dripping down them.

“Want you to touch my pussy.” (Y/N) breathes, eyes flitting open barely a millimetre.

James presses soft kisses on his wife’s ass before sliding his middle and ring finger lightly over her slit. The action gets a mewl out of her.

Fifteen men in this room in total, only two of them can touch this woman yet all fifteen are dreaming about it.

“Move.” Steve states, prompting John to widen his eyes once more, but this time the words aren’t directed at him.

Bucky grins and obliges, removing his hands from his girl and stands up.

(Y/N)’s eyes open fully this time as she whines in complaint at the loss of contact, but a large smack on her ass distorts her whine into a large gasp.

“You’ll get what’s coming to you, sweetheart.” Steve states, manoeuvring himself so he’s stood directly behind his wife, Bucky casually pulling his own gun out of his inner blazer pocket and wiping it down with his hands.

John’s face stays facing Steve, but his eyes follow Bucky as the brunet moves behind him and out of his sight.

Tony takes the sign to back away and let his boss take over from here.

Steve has no shame as he unbuckles his belt, undoes his trousers and pulls out his rock-hard cock, stroking it with his hand a few times while his other hand returns to Bucky’s previous actions.

“You see that?” Bucky whispers in John’s ears, prompting the man to gasp and jump in his seat. He gulps again but remains silent. “I asked you a question.”

The man frantically nods, fearful for his life, and absolutely humiliated.

“You’re so wet, baby,” Steve murmurs, leaning down and moving her hair aside, kissing the back of her neck.

Before the woman can even respond, her husband thrusts himself inside of her in one go, (Y/N)’s back arching and moaning so loud that Christopher can probably hear outside the door, and Steve’s head being thrown back, his own moan equally loud.

Bucky almost loses his composure if it wasn’t for the fact that he knew not to falter when making sure a man like John Walker was wanting his woman.

“Fuck…” Walker whispers, lips parted as he stares at the woman in front of him being railed by none other than Steven Rogers.

“Keep watching because this is your death wish.” Bucky whispers, John’s eyes widening. “Does she look good?”

John nods his head almost desperately.

Her moans only get faster and louder as Steve fucks her.

“Remind him what you are, sweetheart?” The blond groans, grabbing the woman’s hair and pulling her head back so she’s more or less face-to-face with Walker alongside her other husband.

“A whore.” (Y/N) practically begs.

“Louder.” Steve demands.

“A whore!”

“I said: fucking louder!”

“A WHORE! I’m your whore, sir!” She screams, John losing it and standing up to lean forwards but a gunshot firing beside his head makes him stumble back down to his seat.

(Y/N) flinches are the known noise but settles quickly as Bucky strokes her face with the hand that’s not holding the freshly-fired weapon.

“Don’t you fucking dare move an inch toward our wife.” Bucky threatens to the man he’s leaning over.

John gulps but nods, not taking his eyes off (Y/N).

“Is she inconvenient now, Walker?” Steve asks, glaring daggers at the man. He only shakes his head, eyes only meeting Steve’s for a split second. “No?” He breathes. “Then what is she?”

The guest falls speechless, shaking his head as his eyes flicker between Steve and (Y/N).

“Hot as fuck.” He whispers, Bucky growling in his ear.

“Fuck!” (Y/N) cries out, desperate eyes staring at Bucky’s, who smirks at her state.

“Think our girl wants to cum, Steve.” He comments, John panting in his seat.

“Yeah? You wanna show this scum what a good girl you are for us, baby girl?” Steve grunts, not slowing down but rather speeding up as he too reaches his peak.

The woman’s head nods in desperation, face flushed as her eyes flicker across all men in the room, including Tony’s, who simply winks at her before removing his stare.

“Say it, doll.” Bucky demands.

“I wanna cum.” (Y/N) gasps, watching her brunet lover shake his head.

“Gonna have to do better than that, doll.”

“Please,” She begs. “Please, daddy. Sir. Please, let me cum!” Her voice screams, Steve grunting in response to the feeling of her squeezing his cock, milking him for all his worth.

“Cum, baby girl.” He permits. “Cum like the whore you are.”

And how she does.

Her scream could shatter glass, Christopher would be concerned if he hadn’t already established the differences between the woman’s fearful screams and her pleasure-filled ones.

Taking full advantage of Bucky’s distraction, John leaps forward to get a taste of the woman who’s almost passing out from the pleasure, but that’s the last move he makes as a bullet is shot through his back, knocking him down onto the table.

Tony doesn’t seem phased as he shakes the smoke from his gun, settling it back into his pocket.

Making sure the woman doesn’t collapse atop the, now dead, man on the table, Bucky holds her up while Steve sorts himself out before pulling her back across the table and into his lap.

“You okay, sweetheart?” The blond whispers, smoothing the hair out of her face.

(Y/N) nods but keeps her eyes shut as she rests against her husband’s chest.

“Words, baby.” He requests.

“M’okay.”

“That’s my girl.”

Two of the security men alongside Tony head over and remove the body from the room, Bucky asking for someone to clean up the mess whilst walking over to his two lovers.

“We okay?” The brunet murmurs, Steve smirking and nodding before both paying attention to their girl who’s still half unconscious.

“Does anyone else in the room have anything to say before we carry on?” Steve asks, everyone shaking their heads frantically. “Good, now leave.” And they do.

“You okay, baby doll?” Bucky whispers, cocooning her cheek with his hand.

The woman nods and manages to open her eyes.

“Yeah.”

“That’s our girl.”

Tag List

Everything Tag List: @nosoulnoproblems | @rileyloves5  | @girl-who-loves-mythology | @avngrsinitiative | @lookinsidemyhead |@xbabykookiix | @myspectacularfantasies | @fanfic-anyone | @rororo06 | @queenofbuskers | @vapingisntmything | @tony-stank3 | @hermione-grangers-wife | @lili-ann-love | @the-omni-princess | @tayahs-blog | @regulus-black | @saturnsteverogers| @fyfiexo | @amazingiam00 | @deviltownn | @buckybarneses | @fafulous | roryshitposts | trynnabemultifandom | @moodboreddd | @hopingforbarnes | @an-adventureland | justassaneasiam-ll | @profoundllamanickeleggs | @xbongox | @minetticatinwonderland | @thinkaboutmara | @xxaestheticboyxx | @sparklycollectionofoldmemes | @wandaneedstherapy | @georgiadixon | @nerdy-thespian-10 | @nsb-supertrio | @thinkaboutmara | @captainamerica-is-bae | @spookyparadisesheep | @supernaturallover2002 | @notsochillnerd | @peggycarter-steverogers | @reann-shitposting |

Stucky x Reader Only Tag List: @polarbearnamedpanda | @marvelous-glims

[m3r1m4r5u333]

I'm new to shipping Buckie and gahhh my emotions.

The panic attack Eddie has when Eddie, Ana and Chris are shopping for a suit for Christopher. I can't!

The clerk goes "Lets hear what mom thinks" and Ana says "I'm not his mom, I'm just a friend".

And Eddie goes PANIC because that's how he sees Ana. Not Christopher's mom. Just s friend. Which is actually history repeatig itself because Shannon didn't really act like Christopher's mom either, instead abandoned Chris. And they kept having arguments about the way Eddie wasn't around. Shannon even very pointedly says that she doesn't need a provider, she needs a partner.

So Eddie is reminded of the way his girlfriends are just friends to him and panics.

And when he's panicking we hear voices, and one of them is definitely Buck saying "Now it all makes sense."

Which is of course, a memory.

From the scene in which Buck talks about his parents to the team. How he feels like they never wanted him, only had him for spare parts for his sick brother. And he talks about his reckless attitude towards danger and goes:

"Now it all makes sense.... It was the only way to get their attention."

Because when you're starved for love and can't get have it, then attention is the next best thing.

And why would Eddie remember Buck's relationship to his parents while he's panicking?

Because I think he feels that his family is similar to Buck's. Their love is conditional.

He's reminded of the fact that the women he dates are just friends... And thinks of the expectations of his family.

"Ana is just a friend + It's the only way to get their love."

So he panics because he feels trapped. He feels like he MUST date her, is expected to marry her, because if he isn't the kind of man who runs into danger, provides for his family, dates women...

His family won't love him.

And the other panicky moment at the firestation when Ana and Chris visit him if also triggered by people assuming Ana is his wife.

While Eddie is actually lost in though, smiling to himself after they've talked about firefighters who get into trouble, constantly. (They're talking about Ravi, but really? The firefighter who gets into trouble constantly is so obviously Buck.)

And he keeps looking at Buck.

And panics when he realises he didn't even remember to introduce Ana to Ravi because he was too focused on thinking and looking at Buck.

Then!!! Buck and Eddie have a conversation and Buck basically tells Eddie to break up with Ana because unrequired love hurts.

And Eddie does.

(And Eddie's reaction when Buck says he knows what's like to be Ana because he knows about unrequired love...!!! He just shakes his head like "You are nothing like Ana you fool, I love you, I don't love her, you're nothing alike you IDIOT.")

Gaaah. I won't survive this ship.

Oh! And that line Ana says at the firestation?

"Even in the dark... this place is amazing."

That's Eddie's unrequired love for Buck. It hurts. It sucks. It's depressing, sad, lonely, dark. But still amazing enough that he can't let it go.

[lumiereandcogsworth]

CALL THE MIDWIFE!!

thank you!!!!!!!!! :) this is long bc i said many words and used gifs hehehe

favorite female character: valerie my beloved!!! i have no idea why i just love her. she’s not perfect and she’s angry and she’s brave and strong and i just love her dearly. i also have a very soft spot for sister monica joan :”) AND SISTER JULIENNE THAT IS MY MOM!!!!

favorite male character: honestly i love fred. he’s just such a good man and he loves his midwives and nuns so much sjdksj. and he loves his wife!!! and reggie!!!! oh my gosh this man just has so much love and kindness in his heart your honor

favorite season: hmmm. i do love the early seasons, with jenny and chummy and cynthia and trixie! og gang!! also watching patrick and shelagh fall in love :”) gosh. but uh maybe also season 6? that’s when valerie comes but idk i love all the season lmao

favorite episode: AH i don’t know!! this show is always on in the background when i’m home lmao. the christmas specials are always fun, especially patrick/shelagh wedding and when they go to south africa AND when they go to scotland. super fun!! also 9x06 just for the ending scene with sister monica joan’s garden in honor of st. raymond!!! THE BABIES ARE THE FLOWERS!!! literally so wholesome. the rest of that episode is very stressful actually sjdksj but that ending is SO pure my goodness. i love all these stories though i don’t have one particular episode really. this show is just always such a good mix of suspense and wholesomeness <3

favorite cast member: ah i don’t really know any of the cast members! but when i watched the 10th anniversary behind the scenes thing, judy parfitt (who plays sister monica joan) was very funny. at one point they asked what everyone wanted to take from the set and she, who is very much in her 80s, said “other than some of the young men ;) i’m good” sjdksj iconic woman.

favorite ship: well of course i love patrick/shelagh, the parents of the show hahah. i also really liked trixie and christopher!!! i was bummed when that didn’t work out :/ and barbara and tom GOSH. but!!!!! i think favorite ship might be lucille and cyril :”) i think they had the longest courtship in the show and i just loved how,, idk, realistic it was? the show is always good about being realistic on things but i just like the hesitation and the nerves and how sweet they are and yes dancing is involved WHAT ABOUT IT? anyway they’re just SO cute!!!!

character i’d die defending: yeesh! is anyone coming for anyone’s life on this show? not that i’ve seen!! i don’t have anyone specific but i do love them all so i’d prob defend any of them.

character i just can’t sympathize with: mmmm. mother mildred. she BUGS me and i know she means well but she’s just!!! pretentious sometimes!! also sister ursula >_> which i do sympathize with a bit, like i get why she’s like that, but OH my gosh she just. causes so many problems. i was very glad when she left lmao

character i grew to love: sister evangelina! she’s very tough and annoying in the beginning and that doesn’t really change but it’s kinda like, you get attached to her anyway. or at least i did. she’s like a strict aunt that loves you SO much and yells at you but she’s just yelling at you to keep warm >:0 eat food! >:0 take care of yourself!!!!! >:0 and you’re like AH OKAY THANK YOU!!! sndksj

anti otp: ugh, jimmy and jenny. i don’t know if anyone actually ships them but gosh jimmy can you just. like OKAY i get it, he’s just SOOO in love with her. but my brother in CHRIST she is not into you that way. and he doesn’t do anything bad like he respects her he just!! persists way longer than is worth it. and that part when she’s just come back from, gosh i don’t remember. someone died or something. and he comforted her for like two seconds and then said “i love you” LIKE HOMESLICE IT IS NOT THE TIME READ THE ROOM. goodness. that BOY. (i can’t find any gifs of him/them luckily, so enjoy nurse crane, who i also love very much!)

anyway thank you 😌 my beloved comfort show <3

[zainclaw]

Hii Zain!! Hope you're doing well!

Considering you're coming from tw/sterek (I shipped them too, still do 😭) and shipped it but never got to see it be real on the show, and now you're into buddie, what do you think our chances of getting canon romantic buddie are? What are you're thoughts on possibility o pining eddie (or buck) and if you do believe they will go Canon, how do you think it'd play out and in what time span?

Thanks for your answer!

Thank you for giving me a reason to talk about this!! Because I’ve actually been wanting to make some kind of post about it, haha.

Do I think Buddie will become canon?

Honestly, there are so many things about Buck and Eddie's canon relationship, as it’s displayed on the show, that genuinely make me Struggle to believe it's anything but actual build-up. (And I say this as someone who has no clue what the show runners have ever said on the subject. And I have no interest to. I’m watching their show and interpret the story being told to me.) If it isn’t build-up, then I gotta say it’s a whole new level of queerbaiting I’ve never seen before.

Choices™ made on the show that make me Struggle:

The fact that the first half of the 2nd season was written, shot and edited before the fandom had even met Eddie, seeing as he wasn’t introduced before it aired. Meaning, all the choices made within these first 10 episodes, were not at all influenced by the fans or what they chose to ship. The beginning of Buck and Eddie was choices made 100% by the show writers, before they had the chance to make any kind of choices based on whether they were shipped by fans or not.

Included in these first 10 episodes together, is the scene with Buck talking to the old gay man whose husband just passed away, and the legendary “I guess I can only hope to find something that good” line from Buck. And, like, we got to see a whole montage of their life together, growing up and falling in love, finally getting married. We never got that much insight in a patient’s life, and they chose to do it for this one gay couple. And they chose this to be an important conversation in Buck’s journey for a romantic partner.

Also included in those episodes, is the scene from the Christmas episode where Buck goes with Eddie and Christopher to see Santa, and the elf lady mistakes Buck and Eddie for a couple, saying "you two have an adorable son” and Buck doesn’t even bother to correct her, but just responds with “thank you” and skips after Eddie. Do you know how many times I’ve seen two men being mistaken as a couple on tv, with them being offended and the whole thing just being played off as a joke? Too fucking many. And this scene gave me none of those vibes. 

(This moment was a Choice, and I want to know Why. Because if it isn’t a joke, and it isn’t actual set-up, then it’s definitely queerbaiting. Which, again, that’s not how queerbaiting usually happens. Before the fans has even had the chance to ship it. So what the fuck?)

Moving on from those specific episodes -- though I will always argue those are the most significant ones, regarding what the show runners set out to do with Eddie and Buck’s relationship -- there are so many more Choices made on the show as a whole.

The fact that a big part of Buck’s character development over the seasons is about going from the biggest player to someone who wants to find a meaningful relationship. Him having that one conversation with Bobby back in S1 about not being sure if he was ready for a relationship so adult, before realizing he does, and proceeds to befriend Eddie and his seven year old son, and becomes such an important person in both their lives. He gets invested in helping Eddie out with Christopher, and matures a lot because of it. And at the end of it all, in the 4th and latest season, we have Buck who (canonically) loves this kid, who babysits him frequently, who’s the person Christopher goes to when he’s upset with his dad, and who stays at Eddie’s house to take care of his son while he’s at the hospital, and who’s to become the legal guardian of Christopher if something ever was to happen to Eddie, despite there being grandparents and aunts and other family.

The fact that the focus of Eddie’s character has always been Christopher, about being a good father and wanting to do right by his son. Wanting to give him love and stability after his mother walked out on both of them. And he meets Buck, who asks Bobby if Christopher can stay with them at the firehouse when Eddie can’t find someone to watch him, before Eddie even gets the chance to do it himself. Buck, who introduces him to Carla who becomes a very important person to both him and Christopher. Buck, who adores his son, never once treats him like a burden, and who quickly becomes a very important person in Christopher’s life. Buck, whom Eddie confidentially tells  “I know you love my son and would never stop trying for him”. Buck, whom Eddie decides is the love and stability he wants for his son, and makes sure that Buck will be the one to raise Christopher if he himself can’t do it anymore.

The choice to have Eddie tell Buck “you can have my back any day” when later being blamed for not having Shannon’s back, even though he insists that he always did. (Buck tells Abby he’s got her back in S1 as well, but I do think the parallel with Eddie is more significant.)

The choice to have Buck say “This is Eddie’s house, I’m not really a guest.”

The choice to have Maddie and Chimney momentarily forget that Buck doesn’t in fact have kids, to then cut to Buck and Christopher at the pier.

The choice to have Eddie say Buck’s name and put a hand on his shoulder and seek his gaze before telling him there’s not a person in the world he trusts more with his son than him. The way this was shot. The line delivery. Choices.

The choice to place Buck with the Diaz family for the Christmas photo as well as countless other times when people are paired up as couples/families.

The choice to make it canon that both Eddie and Buck have keys to each other’s place.

The choice to have Buck lose his entire shit when the well collapses on top of Eddie, having him scream Eddie’s name and try to dig him out with his bare hands. And the fact that Buck is in most of the images flashing before Eddie’s eyes when he’s close to drowning. The choice of making sure Buck holding Eddie’s hand is in the shot when they reunite.

The choice to let Eddie be the one who’s there to witness Buck’s face fall when he sees Abby again. The choice of Eddie touching Buck’s shoulder in wordless reassurance, and later asks him if he’s okay when Abby is gone again.

The choice to have Eddie be on a date with Ana, only for him to return home to where Buck is watching Christopher, and them having a such a warm, domestic moment that directly mirrors scenes with Hen and Karen -- a married couple -- on the topic of getting their kids to bed.

The choice to not show us Eddie waking up at the hospital, with only Ana there, but instead let us see him awake for the first time as Buck runs in there to see him. Putting all the focus on how relieved Eddie and Buck are to see each other again, rather than Eddie and anyone else. Including his girlfriend. I can talk at lengths about how Buck was framed as Eddie’s love interest this whole episode.

The choice to have Eddie call Buck “Evan” in such a tender and special moment. Calling him by his real name, which is something we haven’t seen anyone else from the firefam ever do. Not Bobby. Not Hen. Not Chimney.

The show set up Buck to become Christopher’s second parental figure, like I literally can’t see it any other way than that. And, yeah, that in itself doesn’t have to point towards a romantic relationship with Eddie, it could happen between two best friends, but considering everything else? It’s hard to see it that way tbh. There are just so many Choices, piling up, making mountains, that seem to point to it being more than just a really profound friendship.

As for my hopes for Season 5 / the future as a whole...

I love everybody’s headcanons about pining Eddie, and obviously I would love to see them actually, finally, taking that route with them. But... I guess I still don’t dare to hope for real, haha. Even with everything I just mentioned above, I’m just so used to being disappointed.

I never start shipping something with the need or goal to see it go canon. Ofc I would love to see it, because I love them, and just having it confirmed on the show, not even in an explicit way, would be so beautiful. But I don’t need it. It won’t affect my ability to adore the fan fics or edits or fanart.

Sooo sadly I don’t have any thoughts about what could happen from here on, tbh, or how their on-screen romance would play out! I love their characters as they are on the show, I just look forward to see them being them in many new episodes to come, with the special relationship they already do have in canon! I’m just happy to have that!

God, sorry for this NOVEL of an answer... XDDD

[iconicbuck]

We got fed with tons of Buddie crumbs for the 1st 2 episodes but I realized I'm more invested on the show itself than Buddie. The Blackout episodes are fun so far and yet so confusing.

They promoted and hyped the hell out of escaped animals only to have Alpacas acting like Velociraptors. Hen feeding the Alpaca with Corn chips was funny as hell but I was like is that all? No chaos? No more injured people? Okay.

Athena and her Captain was focused more on Hudson. But does The LAPD doing something to resolve the Ransomware that has been causing a lot of damage to LA? I just thought the hackers are more important to catch than the Athena-Hudson storyline that should've been done last season.

Eddie. I'm disappointed on how they're handling his relationship with Ana. Since the show tried to invest something about them, I thought Eddie could've learn something from his relationship with Shannon and Ana could be a great tool for his better character development, but it turns out he did the opposite and so persistent and stubborn about it. Leading a woman on is never a good look on anyone. I'm disappointed. What's worse, Buck witnessed a few of it. Buck, who is learning to better himself for himself and for others, who loves the people he loves, who gave his full self in every relationships, who just wants to be someone that somebody needs witnessed his bestfriend's treatment on Ana - who was once Buck was from his past relationship (Abby?) Buck too was disappointed on his bestfriend's behavior towards her girlfriend. I'm glad he called him out for it.

Eddie has a beautiful, smart, a career oriented woman and caring girlfriend. Almost perfect for him and his son tbh. But there's an underlying problem here, but does he really want? It seems to me he still don't know what he truly wants. I'm disappointed how he was kind of blaming Ana for his Panic attacks and also disappointed how the show handled it. It could've been better if what triggered it was the shooting incident and Helicopter crash in Afghanistan. Idk what the writers are trying to get to Eddie's character but it's not a good look on him. I was expecting more. I ship Buddie but not this way. And I don't think Buck will trust Eddie and that "feelings" in case Eddie just stupidly confess his love for him cause he saw how Eddie treated her seemingly perfect girlfriend. How could Buck trust that when Buck himself is flawed and has some issues he's been working hard to be better for years? He can't trust it.

If Eddie and Ana will break up (or if Ana is gonna give Eddie a little bit time to think) next episode, I guess he needs to work it out harder. He needs a lot of thinking too. Most of all, he needs to ask his precious son what his son truly needs so he could just drop his stupid assumptions about Chris wanting a mother figure, if that's the case. Also, Buck should see the progress in Eddie there. Not that Eddie needs to show it to him or to report to him every progress, but Buck should know (on his terms) so that he can fully trust Eddie with EVERYTHING. And by everything means in case Buck has feelings for Eddie, Buck's confident enough that the two of them won't change if the feelings aren't reciprocated.

So Michael just threw a party in the midst of The Blackout and heatwave? Okay.

Athena deserves a better and meatier storylines.

Maddie shouldn't be left alone. I guess it was intentional for the writers to out her character smoothly. Chim should've asked Mrs. Lee to check on Maddie and their daughter once in a while. Chimney's devastation (as per the rumored synopsis for 5x04) is a sure to watch.

Just wondering why Bobby pulled a Buck and not let Buck do the stunt and get The Heart in the Helicopter. There's an upcoming plot there for sure and it just prove my speculation when Bobby tasked him to be The Animal control. Bobby's giving him easy tasks and suspiciously splitting him with Eddie. 🤔

Ravi and Ana. Yeah there's a spark there. And I realized Ravi is so cute. I love his eyes. 😘

And FINALLY, Buck and Christopher bear hug. My favorite part. I love how Christopher was always leaning his head on Buck's shoulders everytime they hug since 3x02.

[pleasereadmeok]

This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem.  Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult.  It’s very funny.  It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview.  This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-

Wonderland Interview

Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford.  Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.

Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.

ON A SINGLE MAN

Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.

Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting.  I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans .  Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set.  He’s fucking great.  I love Colin.

We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time.  I was only really fitting in around these guys.  Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.

NH: No I just did more.

MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …

NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it.  I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.

MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’.  I’m proud of that.

NH:  That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.

MG:  Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!

NH:  It’s all down to the fake tan again.  That’s where the performance stems for me.

MG:  That is a review!

NH:  Nothing about the acting, right?

MG:  They didn’t review the film.  It just said “I saw it.  I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”

ON TOM FORD

MG:  Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.

NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.

MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!

NH:  I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him.  And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!

MG:  I love that.  Isn’t that great?  And that’s also like Tom.  He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.

NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK.  And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus!  He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.

MG: It’s so good.  And so good for Colin.  And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well.  But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’  It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.

NH:  It’s very personal to him as well.

MG:  Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard.  There’s a similar age gap.

NH:  He would always say my character is him when he was 18.  He’s connected to every character and he knows them.

MG:  And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.

NH:  Matthew’s read the book, so –

MG:  That’s right!  I have. It is different.  I am always about the script, really.  But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.

NH:  Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out.  And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.

MG:  That’s very true.

NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created.  Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.

MG:   I love it when someone’s like that.  It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine.  He is fucking great.

ON COLIN FIRTH

MG:  Colin was great.  I knew he was going to be good.  The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into.   He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.

NH:  It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.

MG:  I know.  The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation.  And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan.  I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed.  Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE?  ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.

NH:  Yeah, he kept it very quiet.

MG:  The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck?  You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!?  And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’  He was humble.

NH:  It was great.  It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day.  It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.

MG:  It does!

NH:  It’s part of the film, I swear!  And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.

MG:  Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’  But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing.  Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!

NH:  He’s got a lot of love!

ON JULIANNE MOORE

MG:  She’s a fucking hero.  She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.

NH:  All my stuff is with Colin as well.   The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.

MG:  Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working.  She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out.  I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic.  And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.

NH:  He’s a hero.

MG:  He is actually fabulous!  My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert!  Don’t worry about it’.  He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.

ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR

MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working.  I don’t know what that means.  But we never think of ourselves.  When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.

NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.

MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!

NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.

MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.

NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]

MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…

N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.

MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!

NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.

MG: That’s very nice of you.  OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English.  Have a TV show’.  I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.

NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.

MG: Wow!

NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there.  But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.

MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…

NH: [Laughs]

MG: I’d like to know all the chords.

NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.

MG: And back to Dame Judi!

NH: [Laughs]

MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings.  It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.

NH:  Are we still talking about women?

MG:  Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.

NH: I got to do archery.

MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!

NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.

MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.

NH: Yeah man, keep up.

MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.

NH: He’s seen all my work.

MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master.  I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill.  The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs.  I’m so glad I’m not – ha!  Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now.  But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.

ON BRITISH TALENT

MG:  I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work.  Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera.  For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen?  I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house.  I think that keeps you grounded.  As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.

NH:  You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.

MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs].  There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.

NH:  It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.

MG:  And Julianne is playing English.

NH:  it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.

MG:  Yeah, I mean – idiot!  In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times.  But it is odd.   If you think who he probably could have had –

NH:  He probably could have done better than us!

MG:  I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature.  I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively.  And that’s also what makes Britain great.  We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.

NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.

MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!

NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!

MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.

NH:  So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great…  You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?

MG:  My girlfriend loves it.  She’s got me into it.  I mean it’s fucking hilarious.  You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows.  I really like the over 25’s this year.  They’re fucking great.

NH:  Matthew Goode on The X Factor!

MG:  ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’.  But it is great.  But then it’s such a machine.  There is such a turn around.  Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up.  But it is great telly!  Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.

[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.] 

[buddiebeginz]

I just caught up to the current episode of 911. Jesus that ending 😭 I’m pretty sure I sat there and stared at the tv for a good five minutes afterwards in shock right along with Buck.

Okay get comfy because this is going to get long. I have a lot of thoughts on  why I think it’s more likely than ever that Buddie will become canon. I’ve seen a lot of fandom talking about why they feel the same and honestly it’s not surprising given the way that shooting scene played out. But I have some other thoughts I haven’t seen talked about yet too.

--

I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I think Buddie will happen. I want them to get together in canon and I think the show should definitely make it happen and not just because us fans want it to happen either.

Since Eddie arrived the show has continually written Buck and Eddie in a way to say to the audience there’s more going on there. So I don’t think it’s some far fetched idea that so many of us ship them or want to see them end up together. I’ve shipped many characters who I knew were never going to get together in canon but Buddie has always felt different. It’s not just wishful thinking there’s a lot of substance there provided by the writers.

Still more recently I’d kind of lost hope that Buddie was ever going to happen. Throughout season 4 I’ve been wondering if the show was working on pulling Buck and Eddie in different directions. I figured maybe they were just tired of listening to the fans yell about Buddie. I figured it’s why we had been seeing a lot more of Taylor and Ana and why we rarely see Buck and Eddie and Chris spending time together the way we used to in season 3. It had actually been bumming me out a lot because I miss that dynamic in the show.

---

Last night’s episode changed my mind on that though and not just because of the shooting. I was worried at first when I saw that Carla was meeting Ana because I wondered where this was going. Like was the show trying to solidify Ana as a more substantial part of Eddie’s life now? Were they trying to show that she was important enough to start meeting more of the people in Eddie’s life? But I realized after watching that the whole reason Ana was even included in the episode was for Eddie and Carla to have the convo they did.

Eddie and Carla talk about Carla’s dad. Carla says that she was thankful she got to spend time with him (before he died) and she was sorry she left them (Eddie and Chris) Eddie says “you were where you were supposed to be”. When Eddie says that Carla gets this look on her face like she’s considering his words and thinking about the meaning and responds with a line of questioning that gets her to asking Eddie about Ana. Mainly I think because Carla is one of the people who knows Buck and Eddie better than anyone and when Eddie said to her “you were where you were supposed to be” she was likely thinking so how come you’re not where you’re supposed to be with Buck?

Eddie and Carla talk about Chris and how Eddie had been worried about him (after what happened to Shannon) and how happy he is to have Ana around.  Carla presses Eddie about how he feels about Ana and Eddie simply says “it’s easy being with her” (aka he doesn’t have to be emotionally invested). Carla responds and says she’s glad Eddie is moving on but most importantly she tells him “just be sure that you’re following your heart and not Christopher’s”. 

The show easily could have framed this whole scene in a different way if they were planning on making Ana and Eddie into a more significant thing. Eddie could have responded and said he was following his heart being with Ana. The show could have shown Eddie watching Ana and Christopher with a sense of ease and love on his face instead he clearly looked like he was thinking about what Carla said and it was obvious he’d been running from the fact he was only with Ana for Christopher.

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The other thing that made me feel like Buddie is much more of a certainty and the main thing I wanted to write this for since I haven’t seen anyone else really talking about it is what’s going on with the other couples and how that correlates with Buddie.

911 is obviously an ensemble show so some characters and ships will inevitably get more attention than others still there’s usually some that are the consistent main. For example Hen and Karen they’re a great couple but I wouldn’t necessarily call them a main couple of the show. To me the central canon couple of 911 is Athena and Bobby and second to them I think would be Chim and Maddie at least in season 4 where they’ve had a lot of focus given the baby storyline.

I think we’re headed towards both of these couples being on the rocks. Clearly Athena and Bobby are about to go through some stuff. I’m hoping Bobby doesn’t die but no matter what their marriage is in trouble at this moment. As for Maddie and Chim I think it’s likely that they’re headed for a postpartum depression storyline so that will probably spell some trouble for them too.

My point in all of this is if you watch the ending of the recent episode right after the argument between Athena and Bobby we saw the shooting with Buck and Eddie. In the promo for the next episode the majority of what we see is Buck and Eddie juxtaposed with what’s going on with Athena and Bobby and Chim and Maddie.

TV shows particularly drama ones like 911 ebb and flow and there’s usually some kind of balance. If you have one or more of your main couples in the middle of the worst times chances are you’ll see other couples in the best times. So while Athena and Bobby might be unraveling which hopefully is just temporary) in the midst of this shooting Buddie might be coming together or at least closer to getting there. More on that below. 👇

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I don’t necessarily think that Buddie will just magically get together in the last episode of season 4. Part of me doesn’t even want that to happen. I think it makes much more sense for things with Buddie to happen gradually. Besides which nothing in tv ever wraps up that neat and tidy anyway. Shows like 911 thrive on drama so if Buddie is going to happen there has to be conflict involved before they get to that point.

My guess is that this shooting will push one of them to recognize their feelings for the other and he’ll want to tell the other one but something will stop him. I think it could be Buck. Like maybe while Eddie is recovering Buck talks to Taylor and finally realizes/admits his feelings for Eddie, to which she says something snarky like she knew that already. She pushes him to go tell Eddie the truth but when Buck goes to the hospital he ends up seeing Ana there and decides not to tell him. Maybe in season 5 we have to watch Buck figuring out his sexuality and dealing with his feelings for Eddie while seeing Eddie with someone else.

911 could also surprise us and it could be Eddie who realizes his feelings for Buck. We had that scene with Carla and Eddie and it’s clear that Eddie is only with Ana for Christopher. We had Carla telling Eddie to follow his heart. When you look at the symbolism of what happened during the shooting Eddie’s blood ended up all over Buck which is like a trail to this heart (albeit a morbid one) not to mention Eddie reached out for Buck when he was on the ground. So Eddie could wake up and realize the truth about his feelings for Buck and want to tell him but be afraid to loose his best friend. Or maybe Eddie is afraid to change anything now that Christopher seems happy again finally.

There could also just be a scene with them in the hospital or maybe Buck comes to stay with Eddie and Christopher to help take care of Eddie and and  it’s clear the atmosphere has changed between them. Like we don’t get anything super serious yet but there’s something more there and they both feel it but aren’t acting on it yet. Maybe Buck tells Eddie how he felt when he saw him get shot maybe Eddie tells him he reached for him. Maybe they both realize they couldn’t bare to loose the other.

Everything that’s happened thus far with Buck and Eddie feels like it’s leading towards something. It definitely feels like something is going to change with them heading into season 5. I feel like they’re going to leave us on some kind of cliffhanger and then drag out whatever happens next season. Which makes sense as it incentives more people to watch. But I’m more optimistic than ever that Buddie will happen now.

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I do agree with what others have said that there’s no place really for the writers to go now than to put Buck and Eddie together even if it doesn’t happen immediately. The shooting scene was completely framed like Buck watched the man he loved get shot and they were even wearing complimenting colors which is something I’ve seen done often in movies and tv for lovers. They were staring at each other and reaching out. I mean how do you explain that if it doesn’t lead anywhere?

Not to mention the whole thing was done in slow motion and the scene didn’t focus on anyone else besides Eddie and Buck for a few minutes. It even had an almost a freeze frame with the two staring at each other across the street and since there was blood and the ambulance the whole scene was lit up bright red. And apart from everything else red is pretty much universally known as the color for love.

One other thing I forgot to add was that the convo with Eddie and Carla happened in an episode called Suspicion where people are keeping things from the people they love. The mother keeping things from her bridezilla daughter, Bobby and Athena keeping things from each other, Maddie keeping her depression from Chimney, Hen’s mom keeping how sick she was from Hen.

Why would 911 choose this episode in particular to feature all this important Buddie stuff? That important convo with Carla and Eddie where Carla basically tells Eddie she knows he’s not following his heart. That crazy intense moment with the shooting where Buck and Eddie are just staring at each other like soulmates having to watch the person they love die.

Maybe because both Buck and Eddie have things they’re hiding? Things they’re hiding from themselves and things they’re keeping from the person they love the most. Each other.

[yiangchen]

Did you ever end up finished Gilmore Girls? How did you like it? Honestly I have issues with the ending. First and foremost, Logan and Rory should have been endgame (Dean and Jess have nothing on Logan imo, Logan is husband material) but I also have issues with how a lot of the other characters ended the show. (Paris as a doctor instead of a lawyer? SERIOUSLY?? And why did Zack and Lane rush into the whole marriage and babies shabang like that? They were only what, 21??? Don’t even get me started on how they chose to write Lorelei and Luke’s relationship lmao).

Yes! I loved it. It's probably one of my all time favorite shows now. Of course, there were some things I didn't like though.

With Rory and Logan, I'm conflicted. I loved them, but I'm not sure if I think they should have ended up together or not. I think he's the best fit for her and he definitely was the best of her three boyfriends, but sometimes they wrote them in ways I didn't like (i.e. Logan being really jealous of Jess, and Rory then cheating on Logan with Jess...that was all just so unnecessary??? And it was never addressed???)

Also, even though Rogan was my favorite of all the canon Rory ships, they don't compare to how much I loved Luke and Lorelai. I was waiting for a Rory ship that I was completely invested in, and it just never happened. I liked Dean in the beginning, and then wound up hating him. I loved the build up for Jess and Rory, but then didn't like them when they finally got together. And Rogan, again, my feelings about them are complicated as well. Part of me wanted Rory to end up with someone else entirely.

Honestly, I would have loved it if she'd met someone else during a Year in the Life. (Not Paul, though. That was just weird and also unnecessary.) But maybe some cute guy that we get to see her meet on screen and then they get together by the finale of AYITL. Idk. Could have been cute.

The whole Rory being pregnant thing didn't really bother me, but I think they could have executed it better. It was kind of weird how you don't know who the father is. I mean, clearly it's Logan. That's the only thing that makes sense, but it's never confirmed, so...yeah. Just a little odd. And I will say that, with the way they wrote Rory and Logan's relationship in AYITL, it doesn't really make sense that he doesn't leave Odette and that Rogan doesn't end up together.

With Paris, the only thing that bothered me was that they never confirmed that she was a lesbian.

Lane's ending was definitely shitty though. Lane and Zack should have never been a thing, let alone them getting married and having kids so young. Instead, Lane should have ended up as a successful artist, and if they could have gotten the actor back, I would have loved for her to have ended up with Dave. Also, I think Lane and Brian would have cute too. Just...anything but Lane and Dave.

As for Luke and Lorelai...LISTEN. They are my whole entire heart, okay? I absolutely love them. The build up is just incredible, and their first kiss????? INSANE. Every time I rewatch that scene I lose my fucking mind. They're the only ship that I was truly invested in on this show. That said, I didn't like how they handled the whole April situation and how the engagement was later called off and Lorelai slept with Christopher and wound up marrying him??? So dumb. That whole mess was just so unnecessary. They didn't need to break up more than once. That already happened in s5. They should have been happily engaged all throughout s6 and 7 and then gotten married in the finale.

And then in AYITL, I didn't understand why they weren't married yet and the kids thing was suddenly being brought up again. The ship had sailed on that. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to have a Luke and Lorelai kid, but...Rory kind of is their kid. Luke was always more of a father to Rory than Christopher. And then Luke has April too.

If they were going to have a kid though, it would be cool if Lorelai's dream somehow came true and they had twins or something. It would have been really cute seeing two little six or seven year olds running around at the start of AYITL and then we find out they're Luke and Lorelai's. I probably would have cried lmao.

So, anyway, I really did love the show though. There were some things that bothered me, but not enough to ruin it for me or anything.