#kind of I think maybe just a wee bit
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you know that one old clip of a ginger snufkin playing a flute??
#moomin#the moomins#snufkin#snufmin#kind of I think maybe just a wee bit#please forgive the strange looking hands :(
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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they wouldâve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and itâs in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; itâs not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famousâ˘ď¸đ
#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the âhe tried to join the military at 16â factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#âyou wanna be better than me johnnyâ âmaybe i already am/i will beâ âa little helps not so bad eh ltâ#being a sniper makes me hate the âcant sit stillâ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weâre a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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forgive me, but i'm feeling a lil self conscious and it's making it hard to write. i'll try again in a bit but i dunno!! i just feel off
#maybe i just need sleep but i feel a wee bit annoying i think which is silly and the anxiety talking#bc no one's done anything to me or said anything#it's really just me looking at myself like ah... am i being too much#sometimes i worry that i frustrate people as well bc of my speed with... everything honestly#usually i can keep those thoughts to a minimum especially bc everyone on my dash is so kind#but we all have our moments sadly#i'll bounce back dw#get ready to ramble | ooc#tw negative
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having a whole reddit am i the asshole moment
#posing the question to myself#should you quit a dnd campaign that you've only done one session of#just because the dm did a thing that made you a wee bit uncomfortable?#like. in the whole year and a half that ive played my main campaign with my other group i have never once been made to feel uncomfortable#but somehow this other guy manages it one session in#was it probably overkill to eldritch blast the offending npc over it? maybe (it hardly did any damage and there was no fallout)#but the more i think about the situation the more im like. i feel entirely justified#and also when we went over lines and veils i gave my one hard no and it was kind of like well its not NOT gonna happen BUT...#maybe that was the first red flag lol#..........anyway#personal
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For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.
MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).
Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)
Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.
Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????
*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!
#the avengers (mcu edition not the 60s one)#(though if u close one eye and tilt ur head the black widow looks a wee bit like emma peel maybe?)#i like to think the lair of loki stans exists after this to post angrily on social media about how actually he did nothing wrong etc etc#let me know if loki's just working from a subway station that's still in use in this that'd be hilarious he'd be so annoyed by it all#torn on the tortured-by-thanos issue so far he does look messy but he might just have the flu and didn't want to back out#a lot of people are depending on him to jumpstart a movie superhero franchise he can't just take the day off can he#if loki took care of himself thor would be LITERALLY UNEMPLOYED how could he? how could YOU?#(the 'god of thunder' thing isn't a job he doesn't get paid for it so it's just a hobby)#(he doesn't even monetise that hobby! you think iron man would give you storms for free? EXACTLY. he'd have a patreon AT LEAST)#(âif you enjoyed this torrential rain pls tip me on ko-fi which is not pronounced like you think it is because it's a really BAD punâ)#and whatever the fuck my loki character tag was#like i said i really do need to categorise my lokis more it's been bothering me for a while#reminder: i am here because they cast a woman in a previously-male role and SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FILM. OR ANY OF THEM. D:#don't think the alligator's gonna turn up here either :( :( :(#otherwise it's just kind of fascinating what this film assumes i do and don't know about these characters#nick fury's a goth right?#mcu tag
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I've had lazy autumn just to jump in ITS THE SECOND WEEK OF THE YEAR YOU HAVE TO DO 186469 THINGS FOR WORK AND 789 THINGS FOR SCHOOL AND 4 THINGS FOR ENSURING A NICE WEEKEND TRIP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#how is your 2024 im suddently overwhelmed with tasks which makes me feel kind of powerful ngl#im like. barely managing everything. but im managing!#i have an exam on wednesday. i havent covered all the exam questions yet but its like. ethics. meh.#but i have to do my best. and its a bit much.#considering i will work until wee hours of the night tomorrow#okay technically im working until 9pm but i feel like ill be done at like 20pm. or maybe 20:30#and i have so many events tomorrow.#there are new girls to help but they are. new girls. they have to be supervised and trained#and i start at 8 am tomorrow ;(#and the day after that#and on friday too#but on thursday i have to be at uni at 9am#to learn the last of methods i dont know abt yet#i dont think i can hold in any more information in my head but man i hope i will#also my cat has been acting weird. she gets into sleeping position and hisses. my hypothesis is that its bc of the spicy calamari that were#left in the open on the table for a long time and my mom saw how she ate a rather large bit#so i just hope shes suffering from spicy tummy and nothig more#moreover i just recruited two of my coworkers to do research with me#which lead to a problem: how am i supposed to draw blood three times in a span of 4 hours#obviously cathether would be the best option#however my supervisor told me that in previous experiments it kind of got crumpled after use#and it was more painful to insert a new cathether than to just puncture veins multiple times#but i think thats messed up. so i want to do a pvc#my solution was like aha maybe a butterfly needle - it wont crumple!#but then the guy was like girl it will only stay in if the participant is not moving.#and i was like yeah no prob but like nope actually. the participants have to eat and stand and i have to let them go to the bathroom#so im trying to find a middle ground here and maybe inserting a regular cannula but getting the blood with a regular syringe would do it#bc like syringe is slower than vacutainer and maybe it wont crumple the cathether#but like no one does it with a syringe#although i did find some articles abt using that method when patients have problems
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I went to a restaurant with a friend yesterday and upon entering we saw these splendid blueberry tarts under bell jars on the counter and we made jokey small talk with the waitress like oh, people will fight over these if there's not enough for everyone, it'll tear families apart, are you making more later? and she said no, I'm afraid that's our entire stock for today, but there are 18 slices, it should be plenty! It was a small village restaurant with only one menu du jour so there weren't any other dessert options but they don't usually get that many customersâbut then a couple of large groups arrived and most people noticed the tarts like we did, and went ohh blueberry tart, it's been a while, I can't wait, and it became clear that when we'd get to the end of our meal there would be winners and losers in the blueberry tart rush
But later as we were about to order dessert I wasn't hungry anymore and I was like well that's too bad but someone else will be glad to get 'my' slice of tartâand my friend said yeah, me :) You should order it anyway, I'll eat both! At first I thought she was joking, but no. I said, there's not enough for everyone, you can't take two, and she said, we were going to order two slices, what difference does it make? and I was baffled that she couldn't see the ethical difference between two people eating one slice of tart each vs. one person eating two, when there's a limited quantity of tart. I felt like we were in a simplistic social justice metaphor it was so obvious, but there was no changing her mind. When I said "it's just... not nice" she said "okay" with a shrug, and what can you say to that. She added, you don't know any of these people and I was like, why are we reverting to tribal dynamics in a non-apocalyptic setting, how would you feel if we'd arrived a bit later and seen others ordering two desserts knowing you'd get zero? And she said, I would think that's their right, and I felt kind of amazed.
I pointed out that if she didn't think it was a wee bit wrong, she wouldn't ask me to order her second piece as if it was for me, and she said yeah maybe we don't need to do that, there's no law preventing me from ordering two desserts. What about Kant's categorical imperative Okay I guess you're not breaking any laws by taking more than your fair share of a thing other people also want, just failing a kindergarten-level morality test. I felt embarrassed for sounding like an annoying preachy rigid person so I dropped the issue, and as she ate her two slices she'd smile at me every time we overheard someone order coffee without dessertâlike "See? There'll be enough, no one will be deprived of tart because of me!" as if that cancelled the fact that she didn't care in the first place. I guess it was one of these tiny issues that can still significantly alter the way you perceive a person. I tried to tell myself not to be so bothered about this small thing but I was! so bothered. And I felt like writing a letter to some agony aunt like "should I end a friendship over irreconcilable blueberry tart ethics"
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trying to discern whether im experiencing a bout of Depression or just big time executive dysfunction is rly. exhausting.
#that said i think perhaps i might maybe perhaps be in a teeny tiny lil wee bit of a depression spiral#im getting myself to work but thats about it#havent done Anything responsible all week#and am only keeping my wake up and bedtime routine bc of my cats#have been doing an Atrocious job of feeding myself#and have had a headache all week#and ykno the whole all i want to do is lie down thing#have to actively refrain from putting my head down on the table at work#also at work?? yea im rly not doing a whole lot#today and monday were my only mildly productivs days#ive kinda just stared at my laptop for 8 hours otherwise#so in conclusion maybe perhaps kind u could Possibly potentially say i am experiencing depression symptoms
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You Like Me?
Pairings: WandaNat, WandaNatxreader (eventually)
Prompt: I decided to pair this prompt and this prompt together to create one big mess :)
Warnings: Poly couple, swearing, Nat being kind of a bitch, crying, a wee bit of angst I assume, fluff, soft Wanda, suggestive tones, shit writing, really im serious this writing is so shit, lmk if I missed any!
A/N: I really hope I did y'all justice because this is my first time writing WandaxNatxreader so please bear with me as I probably write a trainwreck of a story @sxlfishbrokenheart
Also don't ask what is going on with the povs I am clearly struggling throughout the whole damn thing T-T
Natasha's thoughts = Red
Wanda's thoughts = Orange
Y/n's thoughts = Purple
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Movie night at the Avengers' tower means cry night for you. Everyone in the tower has strict assigned seating so that nobody gets in a fight, even though it doesn't always keep the peace.
Everything seems to be great except for the fact that you have to sit beside Wanda and Natasha. Which isn't a problem for everyone else right? Wanda, Nat, and Y/N the towers' favorite trio...
Bestie trio, that is.
While Wanda and Nat are the perfect power couple, you're left as the third wheel that also happens to be pining for the both of them. So, while everyone thinks you love sitting with them on movie nights, you sit in agony while watching them out of the corner of your eye.
Sometimes Wanda, who sits in the middle of you and Nat, will pull you into her and claim that it's just what besties do. You of course, can't say no to her, so you end up running back to your room after most movie nights to cry about your wishful thinking.
You honestly can't even remember a movie night where you actually watched the movie. You usually just fall asleep in their arms trying to soak up the affection while you can.
But your dynamic has changed in the past few months...
Wanda is still super lovey and always pulls you in, maybe even more so than before, while Nat has become meaner and ruder towards you. So, you really feel like you're impeding on their relationship, which makes you get into your head.
Maybe Nat is being mean to me because she is jealous. Of course, she has a right to be jealous when Wands has been really close with me. I don't want to ruin their relationship. I'm not even trying anything. Maybe it is because they can sense that I like them. Oh my gosh, it is... Of course! Wanda is being extra nice because she pities me, while Nat is being mean because she is blunter and more obvious that she doesn't like me. I need to leave them alo-
You are cut out of your thoughts when a hand is placed on your thigh. That hand is none other than Wanda's, she leans in and says, "Hey, you alright?"
You quickly nod your head, and she visibly relaxes, but she continues, "Are you sure? Because we haven't even started watching anything and you look like you're zoned out on the tv that isn't even on."
This conversation peaks Natasha's interest, so she leans forward so she can see you past Wanda with an eyebrow raised. She is clearly waiting for you to conjure up an answer.
You quickly stutter out, "Oh- yeah, um, I am fine, I just- I just zoned out for a sec, you know how my ADHD can be."
Wanda squints her eyes and exchanges a look with Nat, but they let it slide. You still decide that you need to pull away from them, you can't be pretending like they are yours to love when they aren't.
So, you scooch over to the other side of the couch you three share, which isn't too far considering there is almost no wiggle room between the three of you. It still saddens Wanda regardless, but you don't see that it also saddens Nat.
The movie starts and Wanda tries to pull you in again, you consider letting it happen, but today is different. Today you pull away again, but the look of hurt that flashes over Wanda's face hurts you more than any sort of cuddling could ever.
Her expression pains you so much in fact that you get up and go to run off. Nat grabs your hand to try and catch you and see what is going on with you, but you are somehow swifter, so you just pull your arm away from her grasp and walk off.
Nobody saw you run off because your couch is in the back, but Wanda and Natasha exchange each other's glances and immediately jump up to go comfort you.
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Wanda's pov
Y/n just ran off after I tried to cuddle with her, so Natasha and I are currently going to find her.
We are standing in the elevator waiting for it to go to our floor which is also Y/n's.
"Wanda, why did she run off like that?"
I look over at Nat and shrug with wide eyes, "I don't know, she doesn't normally do this. She pulled away earlier before the movie started but I didn't think anything of it. Oh God she didn't want to cuddle today, and I did it anyways I totally made her uncomfortable!"
Natasha cuts me off, "Hey! You're spiraling, clearly Y/n needs us to be there for her, so we have to stay calm. I am sure there is a very good explanation as to why she didn't want to cuddle tonight."
The elevator dings and we rush over to Y/n's room and before Nat bangs on the door, I lean up and hear her sniffles.
Nat hears this too and loudly knocks on the door.
I say, "Y/n? Honey? Can you let us in?"
She lets out a sob, but doesn't answer, and I am concerned for her safety, so I say, "Okay, I'm going to come in now."
I carefully pry open the door and see her sitting on her floor in tears, so I quickly make my way over to her and sit down next to her, "Darling can I hold you?"
She shakes her head, so I sigh and stay seated next to her. Eventually though, she ends up leaning into me and I wrap my arms around her. Once her tears cease, I softly say, "Can you tell us what's going on?"
She looks up at Natasha and gets scared and shakes her head. Natasha tries to ask, "Why did you run off Y/n?"
I know that she means well when she asks this, but the way it comes out is really harsh and Y/n starts crying a little bit again, and just starts shaking her head, so I hush her and lean into her ear to whisper, "Do you not want to say in front of Natasha?"
Y/n thinks about it and softly shakes her head.
I sigh and say, "I can send her out if you'd feel more comfortable."
She stays silent for a moment, and right when I think she is going to start crying again, she nods her head into my shoulder, so I lift my head up and use my powers to silently conversate with Nat in her head.
"She wants you out..."
"What?! Why?"
"Not sure."
"Then why do I have to go?"
"I know you don't get it, but she needs to feel comfortable and if that means that you have to leave then you need to go, please, I love you baby, but we have to get to the bottom of what is going on. I'll let you know after."
Natasha huffs and nods her head without another word, and she leaves the room to presumably go lay in our bed waiting for me to come and give her an update.
Once Nat leaves I go back to tending to Y/n. "Do you want to go on your bed? This floor might hurt your back."
Y/n nods softly and I pick her up and carry her to the bed. When I set her down, she sits up, so I know she is ready to talk. "Alright, what was that whole thing about? You never leave a movie night early, and you definitely don't run off crying... Right?"
The defeated look Y/n sends my way makes me realize this crying is a normal thing for her, "Oh dorogoy, why do you do this? Why don't you come to me or Nat?"
She sighs and says, "I can't go to you because- because... I- I can't tell you."
This hits me kind of hard, I don't want the woman that we love to feel like she can't come to us for anything. "Why do you say that?"
She gets frustrated and just blurts out, "Because Wanda! I-" Her face contorts to surprise at her outburst, and she quickly tries to cover it up, "I said I can't tell you for a reason."
I sigh and secretly read her mind, She is struggling because she thinks Natasha hates her.
All I see when I subtly read her mind are flashes of Nat being a complete and utter bitch to her, and that is all it takes for me to realize that she thinks Nat totally hates her guts.
I nod and say, "Okay, well I will let you figure it out, since you seem to want to be by yourself. We're always here if you need us. I am gonna go to bed I guess, Nat is waiting in our room, are you alright on your own?"
She simply nods and I ask another question, "You'll come to us if you need anything?"
She nods again and we say our goodbyes.
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I almost run to my shared room and immediately start telling Natasha everything. "Natasha, she does like us!"
Nat furrows her eyebrows, because I only use her full name when I am mad at her. So, she looks at me and says, "That's old news, but are you mad at me? And it also doesn't explain why she was crying."
I sit down on the bed and tell her, "Nat, I am not mad at you, you are just dumb."
Her jaw drops a bit, and she says, "I'm not stupid!"
I laugh when her subtle Russian accent comes out, (she's been hanging around Yelena way too much recently, but I like it) and say, "I called you dumb, not the same thing as stupid. Anyways, Y/n was crying because she likes both of us, and she is scared she is going to split us up because you don't like her."
She frowns and retorts, "but- I do like her?"
I glare and say, "I know that, but Y/n thinks you hate her because you are mean to her! You know she is a sensitive soul; you have to try a different approach than what you did with me."
The crease across her forehead never goes away, if anything, it gets bigger, "But I am only flirting with her, you know that is how I flirt."
I laugh and say, "Oh Natty, I knew you liked me because I can read minds, Y/n cannot do that, so she can't tell that you like her if you are a bitch to her, no offense."
She looks down and realization washes over her, so she says, "So what do I do? She barely talks to me anymore, and she definitely won't let me in her room right now."
I sigh and say, "you'll have to figure it out somehow."
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idk pov (guys I can't- I seriously don't know right now)
It has been a few days since the day you locked yourself away from everyone, and you have been avoiding both of them since.
You have locked yourself up in your part of Tony's lab and you just can't bring yourself to face them. You also skipped movie night last night and everyone was trying to see if you are okay, but you just told FRIDAY to let them know you are fine.
You are tinkering with one of your suit pieces when you realize you need a tool that you don't have, but you know Tony has it on his work bench.
So, you walk over to his side of the lab and of course none other than the Natasha Romanoff is sitting at his bench looking for something. You sigh and contemplate waiting for her to leave, but you really need this tool, and you see it right on a shelf above his desk. So, you sigh and make you way quietly over to the desk, but while you reach out to grab it, Nat also reaches up for the same tool and you bump each other's hands.
Within the blink of an eye, three things happen; Nat and you bump hands, you end up hitting the shelf, and one of Tony's weird gadgets fall onto your wrists effectively locking around your wrists and binding you together.
You groan and Nat says, "Shit, I didn't see you."
You shake my head and turn away as much as you can, and you say "It's fine, I should have made my presence known."
She starts looking at the gadget and you take a second to examine it closer and say, "Oh. My. God."
Natasha furrows her eyebrows in confusion and says, "What is it?"
You groan and say, "These are the vibranium tondricuffs Tony has been working on."
She rolls her eyes when you don't explain and says, "And what does that mean? I might be a spy, but I don't know this sciencey shit you do."
You shake your head from the soft thoughts of her perfect lips and say, "Oh- uhh it is just what he calls them, but when I say he is working on them, it means that he hasn't figured them out yet and I don't think he knows how to unlock them."
Nat takes a deep breath and says, "So, you're telling me, that since Tony can't seem to put away his stupid toys, we are locked together for the foreseeable future?"
You sigh and nod your head, dropping it the second you feel heat rising to your face at the thought of all the things you might have to do with Nat. "Who do we tell? Isn't Tony on a mission?"
Nat groans even louder at the realization and says, "I guess we should go tell Wanda, and then she will help make a plan right?"
You bite your lip at the thought of facing her, and Nat sees your hesitation, "Hey, what's up with you lately? You always want to see Wanda."
You make brief eye contact with Nat and quickly look away until she puts her fingers to your chin and pulls you to look at her. She looks deep into your eyes and says, "You've been distant, ever since..."
You sigh and say, "Sorry, I guess I don't like when people see me cry."
Nat furrows her eyebrows and says, "You're a terrible liar."
You look at her with shock and say, "I am not lying!"
She laughs and says, "Oh really?"
When you nod your head she smirks and says, "If you really didn't like when people see you cry, then why did you never shut us out before? You have cried in our arms before, and you have never done something like this."
You sigh and say, "Okay, well- maybe I have changed."
Nat rolls her eyes as you decide to continue your work on your suit, effectively dragging Nat along wherever you go, not that she minds. She keeps pressing even though you clearly want to drop the subject, "You're hiding something."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"No. I'm. Not."
"If you weren't hiding anything then why don't you tell me why you couldn't face me the other night? And why you can barely look at me today?"
This seems to break you, her constant nagging is really pissing you off and you just slam your tools on the work bench and say, "Alright fine! You really want to know why I have been avoiding you?"
She nods her head, "yes please do enlighten me."
You groan and turn to her completely and just blab everything, "Because! You clearly see that I like Wanda and you are mad so you have been really mean, which is understandable, because she is your girlfriend, but what you don't know is that I like both of you and I know you probably hate my guts even more than before, but I really needed to get that off of my chest and-"
Before you can let any more word vomit fall out of your mouth Natasha's lips are on yours in an instant. They shut you up really well.
Your eyes widen and you push her away as much as you can, given the fact that you're still handcuffed together.
"Nat what are you doing?!"
She looks at you, "Is that not what you wanted this whole time?"
"Well, yes, but what about Wanda?"
She realizes that you don't know that she and Wanda knew, "Oh! Right! Wanda knows you like her. And I knew I just didn't know how to flirt. I am apparently a really shitty flirt when I am being genuine. I can fake flirt, but when I have a real crush, I turn into an asshole. It worked for Wands, but I realized it didn't necessarily work for you huh?"
You shake your head with wide eyes. Still trying to wrap your mind around the fact that both of your crushes like you back. Before you can fall deeper into your thoughts, Nat asks, "Wanna continue what we were doing?"
All you can do is nod, but her lips are immediately locked on your own. The feeling burns but it burns so so good. You two continue to swap spit until you hear someone speak, "Am I interrupting something ladies?"
You both pull away and look to see Wanda standing in the doorway. You freeze, still unsure if she is okay with you kissing her girlfriend, and she starts to step towards the two of you.
Once she gets up really close to you, she gives you a soft look and walks by you to kiss Nat pulling away to say, "Hi baby."
They exchange some small talk, and you are really uncomfortable because you have no idea what to do. They are just acting like you're not there and that you and Nat weren't just kissing.
Then, they both turn to you and Wanda leans closer to you, "Tell me Natasha, was it your intention to keep this sweet thing from me?"
Your eyes widen as Nat shakes her head aggressively letting out a soft 'no'.
Who knew Natasha was a bottom... they even acted like she was the top around me. Impressive.
Wanda lifts your chin a bit to look at her and she smirks, "What is going on in that pretty little head of yours, y/n/n?"
You snap out of it and whine a bit, and Wanda smiles and says, "Do you want a kiss too?"
You nod your head.
"Words sweet one."
"Y-yes please."
She smiles and looks back at Natasha briefly saying, "This one has good manners. She knows her place well. We've known her for all this time and yet we're just finding this out. Oh, we're going to have so much fun with her Natty."
Nat nods her head, and Wanda turns back to you to say, "Now... about that kiss."
She leans in, and you meet her halfway to interlock her delicate lips together with yours. It is likes soft pillows meeting sparkling fireworks.
You get lost in the kiss and try to push a little more for a deeper one, but Wanda pulls away with a soft smirk. As much as you want to pout for losing contact with her, all you can do is send a dopey smile her way.
Wanda exchanges looks with Natasha and they both look back at you. Nat speaks first, "So, now that we have that out of the way, Wands and I were wondering if you wanted to be our girlfriend?"
Your eyes widen and Wanda speaks up a bit, "Don't feel pressured to give us an answer right now. We understand it's new, and you might be feeling overwhelmed, we just want to put the offer on the table."
Then she leans closer to you and speaks in a low tone, "Although we don't like to be kept waiting."
Her silky voice makes you blush a bit, but you clear your throat and say, "Date both of you? At the same time?"
They both nod their heads and you say, "Yes! A thousand times yes!"
They both smile as you kiss each of them multiple times.
Natasha sighs and says, "Alright, what do you want to do as our official girlfriend now?"
You smile and say, "As much as I would love to go watch movies to make up for the last two movie nights that I missed, I really would like to get this thing off."
You hold up both Natasha's and your connected arms up to show Wanda the tondricuffs.
Wanda's eyebrows raise, she's probably wondering what happened to get that locked onto you. Natasha sighs in defeat and says, "Oh, right... that." You softly grab Nat's hand.
Wanda is about to ask questions, but you cut in and say, "Ask questions later, find Tony now. Please."
Safe to say there was a lot to discuss, but it will all work out now that you have your girls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I'm so terribly sorry for how long this took me to write... I genuinely thought it would be quick and easy, but college is kicking my ass, and I really didn't want to leave you with nothing. So, it's a little shitty, but it's something!
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#fanfic#avengers#fanfiction#black widow#natasha x reader#mcu#marvel#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#natasha romanoff x reader#wanda x natasha#wandanat x reader#wanda maximoff x reader
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a wee blurb based off this and a conversation with @scuderiahoney đ¤
.
Oscar Piastri never got drunk, at least not in front of his fellow Formula One colleagues.Â
It wasnât obvious at first. He was a rookie, a new kid on the grid, the new guy who kind of started off with a bang before he even sat in the car with all the drama surrounding his contract. It wasnât out of this world to assume he was a little shy and didnât feel all that comfortable getting drunk with people who had known each other for years.Â
But the season progressed and friendships grew, and yet still Oscar Piastri just never seemed to get drunk.Â
He would have a drink or two, maybe a bottle of beer on top if he had a big meal beforehand. But he never passed the point of tipsy, never passed the point where he wasnât totally aware of what he was doing.Â
Lando had cornered Logan Sargeant after one of the races, hell bent on trying to figure out what the deal was with his teammate.Â
âSo whatâs Oscarâs deal with drinking?âÂ
The blond turned to him, brows raised in surprise. âWhat?âÂ
âWhatâs his deal? Why does he not go beyond three drinks?â Lando questioned, insistent and eager for answers.Â
âI donât think thatâs in my place to sayââ Logan started before he was cut off.Â
âIs he a recovering alcoholic?âÂ
Logan blinked. âWhat?âÂ
âIâm not judging!â Lando quickly added, raising his hands in mock surrender. âIâd just feel like a right dick if I was pushing him to do something he was recovering from, you know?âÂ
âAnd you went straight to alcoholism?â Logan shook his head. âDude, did it ever occur to you that maybe he just doesnât like drinking?âÂ
Lando narrowed his eyes in suspicion. âHave you ever seen him drunk?âÂ
Logan paused, only for a few seconds but it was enough to make the Brit gasp.Â
âYou have!â Lando grinned when he noticed a flush spread across Loganâs face. âOh god, that must mean itâs embarrassing! Whatâs the deal, huh? Does he start stripping after four drinks? Get angry? Turn into the Incredible Hulk?âÂ
Logan rolled his eyes. âI donât think Oscar would appreciate me saying, he gets shy about it.���
The Brit let out a huff. âYouâre no fun to gossip with, Sargeant.âÂ
But as it would turn out, Lando and the rest of the grid would find out exactly why Oscar never went beyond his three drink limit in the Aussieâs second season.Â
The season was young, the car was good and by some fucking miracle, Oscar had found himself on the podium at his home race. It was a thrill he never expected to feel, it was a buzz that he felt himself slowly becoming addicted to. And the fact there was a large group of people he called home cheering him on when he accepted his trophy definitely didnât help.Â
He was on a high and he didnât want to stopâand neither did the drinks. It seemed like every driver he bumped into in the small club seemed eager to buy him a drink to celebrate, and Oscar was so high on adrenaline that he couldnât bring himself to care about his limit.Â
It was somewhere after his fifth drink and his third round of shots when Lando found him. He looked lost as he stood in the middle of the dance floor, his lips turned down (almost in a pout) and his wide eyes looking around the place.Â
Lando frowned, making his way over as he clapped his teammate on the shoulder. âYou all good, mate?âÂ
To his surprise, Oscar shrugged his hand off with a frown. âNo.â
Lando blinked, something quite like concern bubbling inside him. âNo? Did something happen?âÂ
âIââ Oscar paused as he continued to look around the club. âI want her.âÂ
âHuh?âÂ
âI wantââ Oscar let out a frustrated noise, almost a bit like a whine. âI want my girl. Whereâs my girl?âÂ
Realisation slowly dawned on Lando as he noted the fact you werenât with your boyfriend. He knew you joined them at the club, the three of you had taken a taxi together but he hadnât seen you in a few hours.Â
âUh, I donât know, mate,â Lando answered honestly, which didnât feel the right thing to say as Oscar began to push through the crowd. âWoah, Oscarââ
âI want my girl,â Oscar muttered once again, barely audible over the blasting music.Â
Lando was quick to follow him through the crowd, aimlessly trying to help and make Oscar stand in one place so they could text you but the boy seemed hell bent on having you in his arms in that second.Â
It took five minutesâfive long, agonising minutesâbefore they found you. The second Oscarâs eyes landed on you, it was like the pouty boy from before was nowhere to be seen as a huge grin took over his face.Â
âMY GIRL!âÂ
You couldnât help but let out a giggle as your boyfriend barrelled towards you, wrapping his arms around you and practically pressing every inch of his body against yours.Â
Lando watched as you hugged him back, as your grin matched his whilst you pressed a kiss to his cheek. He waited for the two of you to pull apart, to stand shoulder to shoulder because that was usually as touchy as either of you got in public.Â
But Oscar didnât let go.Â
âBaby,â you murmured, your voice soft and amused as Oscar nuzzled his head further into the crook of your neck.Â
âUh,â Lando couldnât even help himself, the alcohol in his system fuelling his confusion and loose lips. âIs he okay?âÂ
You turned to the Brit, a smile on your lips. âOh yeah, he just gets a bitâŚclingy when heâs drunk.âÂ
âMânot clingy,â Oscar grumbled but he made no move to pull himself away from you.Â
âOf course not,â you mused as your hands fell to either side of his cheeks, lifting his head enough to press a kiss to his forehead before letting it fall down to lean on your shoulder again. You turned to Lando with a shrug. âWeâll probably head out now. You joining us?âÂ
âNah,â Lando waved you off, still somewhat flabbergasted by what he was witnessing. âYou think youâll get him home alright by yourself?âÂ
You snorted. âHeâs basically a big baby at this point, Iâve got him.âÂ
âMânot a baby,â Oscar huffed out.Â
You only grinned in response. âCâmon, baby, letâs go.âÂ
Oscar lifted his head, blinking slowly with a hopeful look on his face. âCuddles?âÂ
âCuddles,â you confirmed, waving the Brit goodbye before you made your way towards the exit of the club.Â
Lando stood there, mouth agape as he stared at your parting figures when Logan found him. The American was grinning from ear to ear, taking a long dreg from his beer bottle.Â
âIt wouldâve been less of a mindfuck if he was an alcoholic, right?â Logan commented with a snort.Â
âI feelâŚdirty seeing him so touchy,â Lando whispered.Â
Logan laughed. âYeah, just be glad you havenât seen him when heâs high yet.âÂ
Landoâs head snapped around, looking both intrigued and alarmed. âWhy? What is he like when heâs high?âÂ
The boy grinned wider.
âLOGAN, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?â
.
#oscar piastri#formula one#f1#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri one shot#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#formula one fic#formula one one shot#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#f1 one shot
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NSFW Alphabet - Remy Lebeau/Gambit
Warnings: NSFW talk obviously! I love this kinky cajun and hope you do too
But seriously, I hope yâall like this, it was something to write while I recovered mentally and physically from being sick for so long
A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
Heâs kind and caring, heâll crack jokes while cleaning his partner up, maybe even run them a hot bath and give them a quick once over with a warm wash cloth
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
On him its his cock, heâs loud and proud about it. Heâs quite skilled with what he does and it doesnât hurt that heâs well equipped
On his partner he loves thighs and ass. Heâs 100% a thigh and ass man, anyone with a fat behind is right up his alley. He likes to hold and grab and grip and he canât do that if thereâs nothing there
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He likes to cum mark his partner, making sure that itâs on their tummy or face, taking a long hard look (and maybe a few pictures) just to remember the occasion
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He likes to fuck his partner in their sleep (consensually) and thinks its a wee bit hot when they wake up full of his cum dripping all over the sheets
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?)
Very experienced, Remy is so good at what he does and he knows it. Especially when heâs going down on his partner and they moan about what a good job heâs doing, heâs smirk and say something they donât understand before going back to doing his duties
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Nasty man likes it kinky, heâll start off with a nice 69 and end in Lotus or Mating Press depending on his mood. He rarely does missionary unless its romantic or his partner requests it
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He can be goofy for sure but most often than not heâs serious in a sexy way, not a quiet and boring way. Heâll occasionally make sex a little humorous by whispering funny things while heâs trying to catch his breath or between changing positions
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
This man is natural to a tee, not to say its a bad thing but he doesnât trim it at all. He naturally has softer hair so its not uncomfortable and its not too hairy by any means either
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He loves intimacy but he can turn that off quick if its a one time thing. Heâs an adaptable lover through and through and heâll give his partner all or none of the romance if they wish
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He gets off in risky places ie. common rooms, the kitchen, anywhere he might get caught by his partner or even someone else
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Vouyerism
Threesomes (or more)
Anal
Role play (CNC, kidnapper, etc. heâs in when it comes to fun consensual kinks)
Breath play
Food Play
Breeding Kink
JOI
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere, anytime. He has no qualms about where and when he wants to have sex, heâs ready to go at a moments notice
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Teasing of any kind, him or his partner teasing the other is a sure fire way to end up folded under him, getting pumped full of cum
N = No (something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
He doesnât like physically hurting in the way of impact play to the face area, spanking is fine but he rarely if ever slaps his partner. Its kind of uncomfortable for him, it feels too much like abuse to him
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers to give but its an equal 50/50 in his relationships, heâs good at what he does and he likes to teach his partners just how to please him
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He changes the pace often, sometimes quick sometimes slow, usually somewhere between rough and not but heâll make sure his partner knows heâs fucking them
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Quickies are frequently needed in his line of work so heâs not against them whatsoever, especially if its in a pretty public place
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Risk would be his middle name if he didnât already have one, heâs up for a good pregnancy scare or getting caught by someone unsuspecting
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
2-3 rounds before he needs to recover, and those rounds could be 10 or so minutes excluding foreplay (which is his favorite part when he can get it in)
Quickies are always a problem when heâs as insatiable as he is but he still gives his partner a quick round or two
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
God he loves toys, he doesnât find them competition but gladly welcomes their use on him or his partner, especially anal beads/anal plugs and vibrators
He also has a small remote controlled vibrator to match his partner that both of them have control to so they can mess with each other when they feel horny
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Big tease, especially with the remote controlled vibrator mentioned previously. He loves to turn it on while heâs watching his partner lecture about something or when theyâre watching movies just to fuck with them
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Loud and proud, especially when he starts speaking in his native tongue. Heâll start praising and cursing loud enough for someone to hear if they walked by the room or lived in the room next to his/his partners
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He uses his staff to fuck his partner and then uses it in fights just so he has a little extra luck, at least in his mind
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
9 inches, curves slightly up and to the left, BIG balls. Mean vein on the left side of his shaft and a dark pink tip
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Insatiable but heâs not annoying about it, heâll wait if his partner isnât in the mood but once they are its all bets off
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He makes sure his partner is all set and taken care of before he lets himself relax enough to sleep afterwards. He canât go to bed knowing he didnât take care of his beloved first
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âJohn price with a single mother thisâ âSimon Riley with a single mother thatâ
Yeah yeah keep yapping. Now ME? I think weâre seriously undervaluing the sheer perfection that is Johnny fucking MacTavish with a single mother. Heâs insufferable. If thereâs an opportunity to worm his way into your life permanently, heâs taking it. My brains fixated on newly moved in neighbour reader and Johnny just comes back from being deployed and thereâs this pretty woman next door and woah! bonus points! She has a baby!
Heâs bouncing off the walls. Heâs sick. Almost first thing he does after seeing you come in and out the flats alone a few times is ask if your lad is around. Has to try so hard to pretend to be sympathetic when you say he did a runner when he found you you were pregnant.
Heâs actually spectacular with babies. Makes a point of it whenever he sees you with the kid too; always makes her chuckle, goes out of his way to prove that heâs great with kids. Works his way into it, builds a rapport so when youâre called into work for an emergency you just canât miss the first person you go to for babysitting is Johnny. When you get back, heâs âasleepâ on the couch with the baby on his chest and you just donât have it in you to wake him so you just sit on the other end of the couch and wait. When he does âwake upâ itâs a bit late to be kicking him out so you just offer to let him stay night (this becomes a reoccurring theme).
Starts referring to the you and baby as âthe bairnâ and âhis lassâ long before he even asks you out. Asked out for drinks? No, sorry. Heâs got to go home to his lass and the bairn. Is he busy this weekend? Yeah heâs taking his lass and the bairn to the amusements. Frequently confuses work colleagues and friends alike because when did Johnny have time to A. Get a girl and B. Shag her enough to knock her up???? Will NOT correct anyone who calls him your husband or the babyâs dad, and will actually get upset if you do.
The moment you agree to go out with him heâs micromoving you into his flat (heâs already looking for houses). Has pictures of you and the baby up on his wall in less than an hour of you being his girlfriend. The âspareâ crib is already assembled. Heâs already picked a ring. Heâs insane. Heâs in love. Heâs known you for like three months. Heâs already got the next like two pregnancies planned out (he wants a big family. No he hasnât asked you yet). Actually kind of deludes himself into forgetting the baby isnât his biological child. Wdym itâs not his kid it looks exactly like him??? I think he would actually get a little violent if the babyâs father randomly popped up demanding visitation out of the blue. Said babyâs father is not heard from again.
Anyways Iâm insane and in love with Johnny MacTavish and his silly deranged ways send tweet
i want you to know that i woke up to get some water in the middle of the night and happened to check my phone and see this and i had to physically hold myself back from answering it at like. 3am.
first of all, i love you. second of all? i love this. i have been repeating "his lass and the bairn" in my head for like five hours now. johnny deluding himself into thinking the baby is actually his? that little gasp you heard was the last little bit of air in my lungs escaping before i expired and died.
there's no way he wouldn't end up saying something batshit crazy like "look at his wee little nose - just like his daddy's huh?" and you'd just be frozen staring at the two of them. maybe your baby's nose does look a little like johnny's but - that doesn't mean - is he just joking or -?
#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish#soap x you#soap x reader#soap/reader#the way im actually tagging this so i don't lose it
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smother - part i: deliverance
dark!joel x f!reader
series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | kofi
summary: starving. lost. desperate. you find a cabin in the woods, and to your dismay, it's occupied. a plan to have a quick bite of food with an intense, intriguing stranger turns into more than you'd bargained for when he makes you realize everything you've been missing out on. 8.6k words chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI! noncon, nonconsensual touching, dubcon - reader eventually enthusiastically consents but the syndrome is stockholming so its dubcon, reader is a virgin, big juicy age gap (reader is 19, joel is 55) manipulation/lying/gaslighting, slow burn and tension building chapter, joel is kind of a creepy menace ngl a/n: i'm so so very excited to share the first chapter of my new series! (if this flops after how much i got hyped for it i will be logging off forever) the themes in this story are dark so if the tags arenât for you itâs understandable & just keep scrollin on by! this will end up being nasty and smutty, but only after a wee bit of buildup so don't fear. comments and reblogs are always beyond appreciated!
Save me. Please, anyoneâŚ
Another wave of desolate, crying desperation tears through you as you trudge along, tripping yet again - maybe over your own two feet, a root, the very ground you walk on, something. Youâre much too hazy and burnt out to even care what you stumbled on as you just press on, press on, press on.
A wave of pain rolls through your stomach again as it burns cavernously empty. You move as a ghost, a shell of yourself now, using passing trees as support. Your hands touch the cold wood reluctantly, a painful little hiss through your teeth as your fingers practically cramp up from the cold. Youâd lost your gloves somewhere along the way, days ago now, what feels like a lifetime. You need to stop and rest desperately now, your body close to giving out. Your heart hammers in fear, wondering if youâd even be able to get up again.
A cabin comes into view in the distance, tucked nicely in a clearing of trees. You think your eyes are deceiving you, that youâve finally succumbed to the madness that comes with such hunger and loneliness, your brain conjuring up images to comfort you. You see smoke coming out of a chimney on the roof, and your heart equally swells and drops at the discovery - itâs not a shelter for you alone, no. Not a lucky discovery, somewhere to lay your head tonight thatâs dry and warm without disturbance. Someone already lives here, has a home here, and they might not take too kindly to strangers. If thereâs anything youâve learned in the last few weeks of your own personal hell, itâs to tread carefully. Always.
You keep your footsteps light and quiet, trying to approach with some semblance of caution. Your empty stomach is pushing you along, begging for any scrap of food that might be inside, hopefully offered up to you by the kindness of a stranger. Berries and the occasional rabbit or lucky can of food found were not enough to live off of anymore - you could feel the way your body faded away by the day, losing any bit of strength youâd had in the first place.
You pause, hitching your breath and then barely daring to breathe at all when you get close enough to hear a sound - a low, throaty grunting followed by the crack of wood. Your eyes scan the area as you sneak closer and then land upon him. Heâs broad and muscled, you can see that much from back here. Messy, dark hair that curls all around his head and down his neck. When his body turns enough that you see his face a little bit more, you notice he looks older and has dark, piercing eyes. They send a shudder through you, even from afar, only making you feel colder out in this frosty afternoon.
You wrap your coat a little tighter and decide to get closer, assess the situation, see if he seems friendly enough to give you something to eat and send you on your merry way. He swings an ax high up in the air and brings it down swiftly onto a large piece of wood, splitting it before tossing the logs into a pile already full of more firewood. You press your lips together, noticing how strong he is, betting there are well built up muscles underneath that flannel shirt of his. That makes him a threat, a big one, you quickly assess.Â
Youâre too distracted, not watching your step, when a large branch cracks underneath your boot. You wince and squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, holding perfectly still, your breath coming out in quick, staccato exhales.
âH-hey!â you hear a gruff voice, sounding out of breath. You peek your eyes open slowly to see the man looking in your direction and silently curse yourself. âCâmon out!â he yells, and you see him reach to his waist, hands grazing a shining revolver holstered there.
Your stomach pulls into tight knots and you stand frozen for a few moments. Your brain quickly assesses everything, weighing the options. Running away, with no possibility of eating a single thing is one option, but the likelihood this stranger will shoot you seems high no matter what, so you decide to take your chances.
You put your hands in front of you, palms out, and slowly emerge from behind the trees. You walk gingerly along the crisp, frosty grass, crunching under your feet every step of the way. Your anxious breaths come out in little puffs in front of you as the cold air enters and exits your lungs.
The man falters, his fist closing and then opening again, pulling away from the revolver on his hip a bit. He blinks hard, staring at you in this silent showdown. âW-well shit, youâre just a girlâŚâ he finally says quietly to himself, his posture relaxing a little. You stand perfectly still, choked up now that youâre confronted with the idea of speaking to him, such a large, imposing wall of a man, and those eyes, god, those eyes.
âIâm not gonna hurt you if you donât give me a reason to, now, girl.â His voice is the tiniest bit softer, and you pick up on his Southern drawl, an accent youâve heard a few times before. âDo ya need help?â He wipes his forehead with the back of his arm, a gleam of sweat having built up from chopping wood and his large chest still heaving. He takes a step closer to you, and you donât step back, but feel every muscle coil up tightly as your mind screams at you that this was a mistake, a huge fucking mistake. Your feet tingle, toes flexing and getting ready to run, but you canât make yourself do it, to take that first step.
Instead, you nod. âI- y-yesâŚâ you say quietly. Youâll never understand why you say it, other than the fact that youâre drawn in by him, by his chestnut hair flecked with gray, his patchy beard that heâs currently scratching. By his build that looks so⌠safe yet dangerous, but you get the feeling that no, heâd never hurt you. You envision those arms wrapping around you, holding you tightly, shielding you from the world and everything youâve been through. You never thought much about relationships or boys before - just a few simple and innocent crushes, but it hadnât been on your radar as such a shy kid and teenager. But this⌠this was what people talked about - attraction. It nearly stole your breath the closer you got to him, threatening to suck you into what felt like an endless void.Â
âAlright,â the man replies, trying to match your quieter demeanor. He glances around, eyes narrowed and scanning the woods beyond you. âYou with anyone? Or all alone out here?â
You know why heâs asking, youâve seen what people can do - sending someone innocent and unimposing out to lay a trap, but you donât lie when you shake your head. âA-alone. Iâm alone, swear, sir.â
His jaw seems to tick, noticeable even from the distance youâre at before he answers you. âOkay, then. Câmon a little closer, I wonât bite, okay?â he says, and heâs so convincing that you do believe him, despite your instincts telling you otherwise. The world is cruel and unrelenting, taking away most of the trust youâve ever had in humanity the second you place it into anything or anyone.Â
You move a little closer, small, gentle steps, and he nods encouragingly.Â
âNow there ya go. Look at yaâŚâ he marvels with a click of his tongue, shaking his head once youâre just a few feet away from him.Â
He takes in your messy hair, slightly matted from wearing a winter hat on and off the last few weeks and sleeping on the ground. Your clothes have seen better days too, your skin smudged with dirt no matter how many water sources you found to try and rinse off a little bit. Even despite all of that, he gazes at you with a curiosity, with that look of interest that you felt like youâd given him without trying to. Itâs quiet for another moment, the both of you sizing each other up, until Joelâs look turns a little more pitiful when you shiver as a sudden gust of wind whips past you, your threadbare coat doing little to protect you from the chill in the air here. You canât be sure if your shuddering has less to do with the wind and more with the way that this manâs eyes are digging into what feels like your very soul.
âWe gotta get you inside, okay? Youâre shakinâ, and you look like you ainât had a proper meal in⌠too longâŚâ He continues to eye you up and down, taking in your weak frame.Â
You stay silent for another moment, swallowing hard and then shuddering again. âI - I donât knowâŚâ you breathe out. You might have some sudden, fantastical dream that this man is your savior, but it doesnât mean you shouldnât be cautious - the mind is a tricky, deceiving thing.
âI ainât gonna ask again, ainât gonna beg ya, girl. Câmon,â he says a little more roughly, a hand shooting out quickly and grabbing you by the wrist and tugging. âJust want to get a good meal in you, alright?â
You wince at the grasp on your wrist, the roughness and hardness heâs starting to show you, but you let him pull, starting to move your feet and trail after him.Â
âT-thank youâŚsir,â you murmur quietly, and he swings his head to look back at you, his eyes softening.Â
âYouâre welcome. Now get inside and get warm. Iâve got a fire goinâ.â He lets go of your wrist, trusting you to follow him as his heavy boots clunk up the few steps leading to the front door of his cabin. Itâs modest, beautifully constructed, all dark wood around the outside and a small porch. You start to wonder if this man built it himself, or just found it as it is. Your initial impression of him leads you to believe that he does seem like the type to build a whole god damn cabin. He half looks like a lumberjack already in the plaid flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up to his forearms.Â
âFound this place âbout five years ago,â he says as if he could read your mind while he swings the door open. âReal nice and private, so donât worry.â
Your eyes narrow slightly at his last comment, but you try to brush it off as you enter inside with him. The warm air hits your body, an immediate balm to your frayed nerves and chilled skin, a slightly smoky smell from the fire hits your nostrils and you immediately hear the crackle and pop of the logs in the little fireplace. The cabin is mainly one big room, a kitchen tucked into the corner right to the left of the door, and the living room beyond that with cozy couches and chairs, even a TV that you doubt is working but find yourself hopeful for some reason. Itâs been a long time since you were able to watch a movie, flashing back to childhood memories when youâd lived in a more stable, thriving community that had power.Â
Stairs beyond that lead to what you assume are bedrooms or a bathroom, and your eyes curiously take in all the little details and decor - the manâs jackets hanging along the wall near the entrance, his rifle propped next to the door and several different pairs of worn boots.Â
You realize youâre just standing right near the doorway, silently looking around in a daze while your new acquaintance has been trying to get your attention.Â
âHey, girl, Iâm talkinâ tâyaâŚâ his voice says, the noise fading back into your consciousness.
You shake your head. âS-sorry,â you say quietly, a shy little squeak. âI was just -â
âSâalright. I got some stew goinâ, that okay? I mean yâdonât have much of a choice, but Iâll ask anyhow,â he says with a wry chuckle. You simply nod in response.Â
âNow go on, put your things down and sit ân get comfortable,â he waves towards the general direction of the kitchen table and the couch before turning back to the stove to stir the pot simmering there. You stand, feeling frozen still, panic threatening to climb up through your insides and completely take over. You still donât feel safe, despite this man offering to warm you and feed you. How could you, you think, when youâve been running for several weeks, trying to get away from the carnage that became your life.Â
He eyes you, unmoving and frightened looking and sighs heavily. âI said,â he says, tension thickening in the air around you, âSit.â
You clear your throat, desert dry and scratchy, and set your backpack by the door, slowly creeping over to the couch, not wanting to make this mystery man any angrier. You settle yourself down and the cushions feel like heaven, your legs and body achy from the lack of comfort youâve had for weeks. You try not to show just how good it feels to settle into the soft, plush fabric, letting the cushions mold to your body.
âGood,â Joel coos as he glances at you from the stove. âNow that weâve got you settled in, you got a name?â
You weakly tell him your name and he shows you the first little smile youâve seen from him, nodding. âGotcha. Iâm Joel, okay?â
âO-okay.â You push the words out while you watch him stir the pot on the stove. You sit in silence for a few moments, thankful for the time to just catch your breath and think. Just one bowl of stew, and youâll be out of here. Youâll ask if thereâs a community nearby, somewhere that could take you in, then grab that information and run, not bother this man any more than you need to.
Joel walks over, handing you a cup of water that you shamelessly start to gulp down before he goes back and ladles some of the delicious smelling stew into a bowl. The second the scent hits you, your stomach rumbles loudly. Joel cracks a smile as he hears it and continues ladling, a brow quirked.Â
âHungry, huh?â he asks, walking the steaming bowl over to you with a spoon. You gingerly take it from his hands, being careful not to brush your still chilled fingers against his. You swear his eyes flash at you when he notices how avoidant youâre being, but he turns and walks back to the stove, getting himself a bowl as well. Joel settles down into a chair across from the couch where you sit with a weathered groan, just watching you for a few quiet moments. It does everything but put you at ease, your stomach twisting a little. You blow on a spoonful of stew before taking a bite, your mouth an explosion as it waters and takes in the delicious, rich, food.Â
âMmm,â you whine out, unable to help it. Your body wants to lunge forward, lap the stew up until every single drop is in your starved body and you can finally feel a sense of fullness again. You quickly take another spoonful, much too hot, and wince a little as it hits your tongue.Â
âSlow on down, girl,â Joel says. âLetâs talk a little and itâll slow down your eating.â
You just stare, noticing your body is trembling a little bit, and has been since you met Joel outside. You try to take a deep breath to settle your nerves, your legs so tensely pressed together that it's starting to hurt.
âYou feelinâ afraid of me, that it?â he asks you, looking a little too self satisfied at the observation as he crosses his arms and leans towards you. His biceps bulge and stretch with the motion and you canât help but find your eyes drawn to them, the way they pull at the soft flannel of his shirt. You feel your face heat up all the way to your ears and you blink hard, averting your eyes.Â
âI- I mean⌠I donât know youâŚâ you mutter, trying to sound more confident than you feel.
âI know,â he says, sounding more sympathetic. âDone some bad things in my time, so hell, maybe you should be scared of me. I ainât a nice guy. But I wonât hurt someone like you, promise ya that.â His words are enough of a reason for you to hightail it out of here the first second you can, but why do you believe them? Why do you believe him?
âHow d-do you know Iâm not bad too? That I donât deserve it?â His eyes narrow and his lip twitches into a smirk before he lets out a mocking little chuckle in your direction.
âOh sweetheart, a man jusâ knows these things. You never hurt even a fly, now have you?â That smirk stays plastered on Joelâs face as he asks and it frustrates you how little of a threat he sees in you, how little fight you have left to give. Yet you canât find yourself blaming him, you think. If you were facing yourself in his position youâre sure youâd look like as much of a feeble joke as you feel.
You frown, still unable to look him in the eyes for longer than a few seconds, and shake your head. âNo⌠just for huntingâŚâ you admit.
âAlright then. Yâdonât need to act tough in front of me, girl, got it?â Joel concludes, going back to eating his stew.
âGot it,â you respond quietly, letting yourself sink further into the couch as you feel your muscles slowly relaxing.
âNow tell me... whatâs this all about? Whatâs a little young thing like you doinâ out here by herself?â
You bite your lip and sip slowly on another spoonful of stew. âIâm⌠uhâŚâ you stutter nervously.Â
âSpit it out now, thereâs nothinâ to be afraid of here, hm?â Joel tries reassuring you, but his words keep coming out so gruffly, doing little to make you feel much better.Â
You inhale a deep breath. âOkayâŚâ You swallow. âI was in a⌠community. I lived there a long time. T-theyâre all gone now, I think. We got completely overrun and so I ran.â You sniffle as your nose starts to run from the warmth of the house opposing the cold youâd gotten accustomed to.Â
Joel leans forward a bit in his chair, taking a hearty bite of stew, mulling your words over. âOverrun how?â he asks simply, glancing at you, studying your movements, your body language, everything.Â
âU-uh, hunters, raiders, whatever they are. Bad.. b-bad peopleâŚâ You look down at your bowl, not wanting to meet the intensity of his gaze, afraid to fall into his strange, hard warmth.Â
âHm⌠awful fuckers, ainât they,â he says, scratching a hand down his beard. âYou got away, then?â
You nod and bite inside of your lip, taking another spoonful of stew to keep yourself occupied. âY-yeah. I ran and ran⌠just kept⌠going. They took everything, took over all of our homesâŚâ
Joel sighs, his eyes finally going a little softer. ââM sorry to hear that, darlinâ. You know if anyone is still alive?â
You shrug. âNoâŚâ
âYour family? They with ya at this community?â
âOh.â You shake your head. âNo. They⌠all, uh, passed a long time ago.â Why the hell are you being so open with this stranger? You donât owe him your story, your secrets, any of it. But you sense the urge to share it, anyhow. Maybe youâre just that desperate for human connection right now.Â
âMm, sorry to hear it again. We all know that feelinâ in a world like this,â he replies thoughtfully. Your eyes widen a bit at the softness heâs showing you right now and you give him a tight lipped smile to show your own sympathy for his losses.Â
âYou feel up for tellinâ me a little more about the attack? Sâokay if itâs too much,â Joel adds on, still studying you with an odd gaze, almost like heâs drinking you in, quenching some thirst he had. His hand twitches, almost as if to reach out to you, but heâs much too far from where he sits right now.Â
âIâm not sure if t-thereâs much to tellâŚâ you start, but then you find yourself spilling out more details, feeling the freeing sensation of unloading your burdens onto someone else. You tell Joel your community was small but well taken care of, plenty of supplies and food, in an abundant time in its history the last few months. One evening everything changed, when an armed group of mostly men came in, a few women and children in tow, looking absolutely miserable, and they aimed their guns in the air and shot off a few rounds to get everyoneâs attention. People came flooding out of their homes, trying to run, only to be tackled or shot down, forced to give up our food and belongings. You tried to hide for as long as you could before slipping out of the home you shared with an older couple who had been taking care of you since you were a teenager, Harry and Josephine. Theyâd urged you to run, run, run, so you did. Then came your lost days, where you had no clue where you were, when youâd find your next semblance of humanity. Just trying to head west, further and further from the bitter memories youâd now have to leave behind. Barren towns and wilderness passed you over the days, hardly seeing another soul as you hid from infected, spending your nights crying yourself to sleep when you had the energy.Â
And now⌠here you were, sitting on Joelâs couch and eating stew. Unsure of what the hell youâd do next or where you had to go. You had been an orphan for a long time, but this felt deeper, like you were an orphan to the entire world, almost, like you had nothing to even call your own now.Â
Joel sits patiently, watching you stumble on words as you tell your story to him, trying not to get too choked up as all the emotions resurface. How empty things had been, how desolate the landscapes to match your faintly beating heart.
Heâs leaned fully forward now in his seat, stew somewhat forgotten in his lap as you finish your recounting of the last few weeks. He breathes in and out, a large, heavy sigh that fills the room. Itâs still now, fully quiet for a moment.Â
âYouâre a strong girl for goinâ through all of that, you know that?â he says finally, eyes softer than youâve seen them yet.Â
You just look down, returning to your stew, taking a few bites now that itâs at the perfect temperature. Youâve stopped shaking now, your body warmed up and starting to recognize that youâre getting full. You canât eat much, your stomach unable to handle more just yet, so you push the stew away, setting it on the coffee table in front of you.
âYeahâŚâ you say, not really believing it as you glance out the window to watch the late afternoon sun, glaring off the ground outside, light filtering through the trees.Â
âYou got somewhere to go? After youâre fed and looked over, of course,â Joel asks, his eyebrow shooting up.
You consider lying, just to avoid what youâre afraid heâll ask you. What youâre afraid youâll say yes to. You still end up shaking your head silently, clearing your throat. You feel a sting of tears behind your eyes, your whole body going hot with the need to cry, but a deep desire to not show that weakness to him holds you back. You sniffle and blink, studying the knots in the old wood floors.
âHey,â Joel says, trying to get your attention, to make you show him your vulnerability. âLook at me, câmon now.â You hear him shift in his seat, a small movement born of irritation as you refuse to do as he says.
You sniffle again and clear your throat, a shake of your head making your hair fall forward, covering and hiding you further.Â
âI said look at me.â That stern tone of his is back, sending a shudder through you and fear rippling deep inside your chest. You flick your red rimmed, shining eyes up to his, meeting the dark brown stare, lines permanently etched in between his eyes from all his years of worry.
âAtta girl,â he coos, completely pleasant now. âI got you, okay? You can stay, if ya need. I got food, a home, a warm bed for ya. If you have nowhere else.â
One more blink sends the tears falling down your cheeks, fat and overdue as they slide down your dirty skin, leaving tracks. You sniffle and nod, suddenly feeling a rush of gratitude towards Joel. He may be a stranger, but he fed you, got you warm, and is offering just about the kindest thing he can right now - an invasion on his space, his personal sanctuary, all for a girl he hardly even knows.Â
âY-youâd really do that?â you ask, a little incredulously, like this is a dream youâre about to wake up from any time now.Â
He nods, a half smile pulling at the corner of his lips. Satisfaction plastered there now that heâs swayed you in his direction. âI would. Now I donât wanna hear another word about it. You need to rest, youâve been through a lot.â
âT-thank you. B-but-â
âNot. Another. Word,â he practically hisses, flashing his eyes angrily before it fizzles out quickly. You can see him practically having to reign in his impulsiveness in the moment. âThere ainât anywhere else to go thatâll keep you as safe as here, Iâm tellinâ you that now. Youâd be fuckinâ lost out there.â He sits back with his arms crossed now, and youâre worried that youâve truly upset him now, that unsettling look in his eye glinting again. He wants you to stay⌠nearly seems to need it. It scares you, yet you feel a tug, a pull, some form of intrigue wanting you to explore that need, understand just what he could see in you.
âIâm s-sorry⌠I just - youâve already done a lot for me, and Iâd hate to, well, impose, or something,â you say, trying to appease him. Itâs mostly true, anyhow, that you do hate to take Joelâs food and time away from him.Â
He stands up and silently walks the few steps over to the couch, sitting down next to you, turning himself towards you. It feels like every muscle in your body tenses at his proximity - it makes him seem even bigger the way he takes up his cushion on the couch, body sinking in deeply, his wide shoulders practically a shield to you right now to everything behind him. Something about seeing him up this close is sending you reeling, able to study the lines in his face, his strong, wiry beard streaked with a few gray spots. You flick your eyes over his face, hoping to not be too obvious, but needing to drink him in, learn his features.
âIâm gonna have you listen to me right now, okay? Make sure youâre listeninâ real good, sweetheart.â He pauses for a moment to catch your eye, reaching a hand towards you but resting it right next to your thigh on the couch. âIâm offerinâ somethinâ mighty nice to you, ainât I? You were âbout to die out there, if Iâm honest. Much longer and youâd be a goner, I think. Donât you?â
Heâs waiting for a real answer from you, you realize, so you nod, eyes practically unblinking as you hang on his words, a hot coil burning in your stomach as you feel uneasiness eat at you.
âRight.â He sighs quietly. âIâm not tryinâ to be mean, sweetheart. In fact, I care a lot, thatâs why Iâm tellinâ the truth to ya like this. You ainât built to be on your own, can see that clear as day. So Iâll have ya stay here and get fed and get your bearings. And I donât want to hear anymore about it.âÂ
Of all the things Joel has just said to you, the thing that is stuck in your mind as you turn it over, is the way heâd said he cares. He cares about you. Would that be such a bad thing to be cared for, even if just for a little bit?
You give him a small dip of your head, a shaky smile coming to your lips. âThank you. Iâm uh, grateful.â Youâre not sure what else to say, feeling like youâre signing yourself away to something you donât feel sure about.Â
âAh look at that - a smile,â he says, clearly feeling much more light hearted now that youâve agreed to accept his help.Â
You sit back a little, your muscles finally losing some of their tension and start to eye Joel a little more curiously. âS-so you just live here all by yourself?â you ask, wishing you werenât still such a stuttering mess. The fact was, this man made you nervous, in a way that you werenât used to. He scared you, but in a way that it drew you in, a magnetic pull you couldnât quite explain yet. Something in him commanded respect, reverence, almost, without trying. It was mesmerizing to witness, completely scrambling your mind if you started to think on it too hard.Â
âMhm,â Joel nods languidly, finishing off his stew and then sitting back with a satisfied sigh. He eyes your bowl thatâs only half empty and then flicks them back to your face. âAinât gonna finish?â he asks, sounding a little irritated before his face softens. âProbably canât fit much in your little belly right now, huh? Shrunk right up when you didnât eat much these last few weeks.â
You nod. âI-it was good, I just⌠I couldnât finish. It started to hurtâŚâ
His eyes flash with concern. âWeâll take it slow, then,â he says, a little smile creeping onto his face.
You had noticed his avoidance to say much more about himself, so you decide to try your luck and press him again. You clear your throat, trying to turn towards him a little more as well. âYou live alone. Donât you⌠do you ever talk to other people?â
Joel chuckles, almost condescendingly. ââCourse I do. Town not too far from here - Jackson. I go once and a while to stock up, trade âem for some stuff and theyâre mighty hospitable to me.â
You nod, trying not to let his snide laugh and tone get to you too much, blinking away the sensitive little tears that threaten to fall again. Joel cocks his head suddenly, seeming to notice. âT-that sounds pretty nice,â you choke out quickly.
âSorry if I upset ya. Guess youâre right, donât get enough practice talkinâ to people,â he says a little lighter now, smiling softly again. Joelâs version of a smile seems to only be a soft upturn of his lips, not friendly by nature. It puts you at ease and unease at the same time, that smile of his, but youâd rather see that than the scowl he was sporting at you earlier today. He pats your thigh a few times, showing his apology, and you watch his large hands move on you, noticing theyâre scratched and rough. A manâs hands.
âW-wait⌠Jackson⌠this town. Itâs close by?â you ask, glancing back up at him, the wheels in your head starting to turn.Â
Joelâs face falls in an almost dramatic fashion, the lines between his eyes and around his cheeks getting deeper. âWhy dâya ask?â he says, his tone short and frayed sounding, leaning forward again, practically glaring at you from under his eyebrows.
Your own face falls, jaw slack for a moment before it tightens back up. âI just⌠I want to get out of your hair as quickly as possible, I-I donât want to be a bother. Could find a new community there, or somethingâŚâ You feel quiet as a mouse, unsure of how to assert yourself in front of Joel - it feels like there isnât space for it when you share a room with him.
Joelâs expression becomes more stern. âDidnât I already tell you, girl, that Iâd take care of everythinâ?â he spits out, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Youâre visibility tense now, your hands pressing into the cushions of the couch, ready to get up at any moment and bolt. âYâdonât want to go to a place like that, so big, youâd be lost there, darlinâ. Nobody to take care of youâŚâ
He sits back a little, hands falling into his lap and an eyebrow cocked at you. ââSides,â he says, glancing out the window for a moment before studying you again. âToo far to go on your own. Canât have you gettinâ lost in these woods again⌠look what happened last time, yeah?â
Maybe heâs right. You barely survived these last few weeks without completely losing your mind, and then your life, as heâs been so apt to tell you several times now. Joel⌠he saved you, and is offering you a place to stay, so the least you could do is be grateful for now. You could always convince him tomorrow, after youâve had time to think and reset, to take you there, show you the way, and you can see for yourself if itâs a good fit for you or not.
âY-yeahâŚâ you stutter out, nodding. The look he shoots you has you choking out the next word before you can even think about it. âYes,â you say more definitively.
âItâs settled then,â he says matter-of-factly, breathing in deeply, his burly chest rising, and then letting it out in a long, slow breath. âYou probably wanna get some rest, yeah? I can set up the bed for ya.â Joel says, standing up and grabbing your bowl, taking it to the kitchen along with his empty one.Â
âDo y-â you start, standing up off the couch.Â
âYeah, I got two bedrooms, donât worry.â His smile grows, liking that he found you predictable enough to know what you were about to ask. Your shoulders sag a little in relief and you give Joel more of a proper smile now, nodding your thanks.
âThat would be great, then, yeah. And if itâs not too muchâŚâ you voice trails off and you stare at the ground, focusing your eyes on the pattern of the well worn rug underneath your feet. âMaybe a shower, bath, whatever youâve got.â
Joel turns to face you and then walks back into the living area. He has a calm, serene expression, slightly lit up. âIâll do ya one better. Get you some clean clothes to wear after that shower, too.â
Nothing in the entire world sounds better than what heâs offering right now.
You hiss loudly as the hot, steaming water hits your leg when you step in. Within moments, youâre basking under it, watching the dirt and dried blood from your various scrapes and scratches swirl down the drain for what feels like ages, finally seeing the water run clear as you lather up the threadbare washcloth Joel had left out for you and scrub yourself down. Every nook, every cranny, your scalp, face, everywhere you could get three times over. You canât remember the last time youâd felt so clean, even when youâd lived back with your community. You hum happily for a few moments, letting the water soothe you for just a while longer. You hoped Joel could forgive you for taking a little bit of extra hot water today given the circumstances.
Joel hears the water running from downstairs, his fists balling up and relaxing over and over as he sits on his favorite chair, his gaze facing the stairs leading to the spare bedroom and attached bathroom. He feels tense, rolling his neck, continuing to pump his fists open and closed. A feeling in the back of his neck, traveling down his spine and legs that he couldnât ignore - an urge. He stands up an instant later, not bothering with his well-ignored conscience, and walks upstairs and through the bedroom door with careful steps as he still has on his boots. He presses a hand onto the brass doorknob, turning it slowly, ever so slowly, pushing the door open just an inch, just⌠enough.
His eyes fall on the shower curtain, a white cloth that perfectly shows your silhouette through it. The valleys and curves of your body move around, arms scrubbing yourself. Joel can smell the evergreen scented soap drifting through the steamy, thick air, watching your body move fluidly as you start to hum quietly to yourself and rinse off.
He wishes he could lie to himself, deny that he felt the blood rush straight to his cock at this little show he was watching. So content, so sweet, so vulnerable right now. Need consumes his every cell - the need to show you just how good you could have it here, to take every bit of you for himself. He grins, a hungry little twitch of his mouth, moving to shut the door when a floorboard creaks under his heavy boot, and he freezes, shuffling out of the way quickly.
Youâre humming quietly when you hear it, just a distant sound, but enough to catch your ear. A creak of a floorboard, something you figure isnât unusual for an old cabin like this, but you feel a shiver run down your spine and rush to turn the water off. You throw the curtain open, water dripping down into your eyes. You quickly rub your fingers over them and glance around the spacious bathroom to find⌠nothing. You sigh, shaking your head, nearly laughing at the relief you feel. Youâre just being paranoid, you chastise yourself as you grab the towel off the hook, squeezing the extra water out of your hair and wrapping it around yourself, snuggling into the simple comfort of a fluffy towel as you dry yourself off.Â
Your fingers freeze, running cold when you reach the door, noticing a few inches of space that has the door cracked open. You swore up and down that youâd shut the door behind you, giving you that extra layer of privacy in a stranger's home. It wasnât possible that⌠no, you think quickly, shaking your head again. You have to stop being so damn paranoid - your brain is just in survival mode still, looking for threats that arenât there.Â
You step into the bedroom, surveying the heavy wood furniture - an extremely cozy, country feel to the room with large logs comprising the bed frame and a patchwork quilt draped over the top. You peer around, feeling somewhat squirmy at the realization you donât have any clothing. Joel seemingly came in and took your dirty clothes while you were in the shower, failing to leave you anything clean. It made you feel that strange swirl deep in your stomach again, the one you kept brushing off.
This is a kind man. A kind man, got it? Positive thinking.
You decide to pull it together and head out and down the stairs to the living room. You feel your cheeks heat up, a hot heat creeping all over your body as you feel so exposed, standing in your tiny towel as you descend the stairs. Joelâs eyes follow you down, watching your glowing skin, so fresh and clean, hair dripping errantly, leaving water droplets on the floor in your wake. You see a flash of something a little cloudy and hungry in his gaze before it disappears just as quickly as he showed it.Â
He isnât saying a word, isnât offering anything, so you swallow down your discomfort and clear your throat a little. âEr⌠I noticed there werenât any⌠clothes⌠for meâŚâ
Joel sits up a little straighter, putting down the book heâs been looking at. He offers you a smile devoid of much emotion and stands up, his eyes locking on your hips for a few extra seconds. âShucks, sorry about that, sweetheart. Letâs get you something right now. Got your old clothes ready to be done next time I do the washinâ.â
You nod, fighting the urge to chuckle nervously as he walks over and passes you, his arm brushing your damp, bare one before he heads up the stairs. Youâre grateful you get to trail him, afraid of just how skimpy this towel is if heâd have insisted on following behind you. You follow him into the other bedroom, his bedroom, and itâs a little more decorated, some books and little wooden carvings on the surfaces, dirty laundry scattered throughout. He opens up a drawer and tugs out a tee shirt, handing it to you, then a pair of gray sweatpants and warm, thick socks.Â
âThese should fit alright for ya, honey. Weâll get you some more proper fittinâ stuff soon, just gotta have a look around this place. Thisâll be nice and warm for ya fânow.â He seems more chipper now, clearly much more talkative than before, and you suppose you donât mind the change too much. Itâs only proving that your paranoia was completely unfounded, just a symptom of your current circumstances. You typically find yourself a pretty trusting person, enough to have gotten you in trouble before, but the events of the last few weeks have broken that for you, leaving you feeling like a shell of who you once were.Â
You snap back to reality and take the clothing in your arms, nodding in gratitude. âThank you. Iâll go, um, change.â
Before you turn, Joelâs voice booms through the air again. âNeed anythinâ else to eat? Anythinâ I can get you?â He almost sounds hopeful, like he wants you to need something from him. His eyes linger on your body, leaving you feeling just as naked as if you didnât have the towel over you at all.Â
You shake your head nervously. âEr, if itâs alright with you, I think I just want to rest⌠A full nightâs sleep in a bed sounds like heaven right now.âÂ
âLetâs get you on off to heaven, then.â He grins, letting you leave the room before trailing after you, waiting outside your door while you change into your clothes. You discover some womenâs underwear in the drawers inside of your bedroom, gratefully putting on a clean pair before throwing on everything Joel gave you. Itâs comfortable and dry, so you wonât complain about the fit or the style - youâd still be in your dirty, worn down clothes if it werenât for him.Â
You creak the door open to find Joel and thank him again for hosting you, only to see him waiting right outside in the hall. You nearly jump, your face completely giving away your tense surprise.
âJusâ wanted to make sure you got to bed alright,â he says gently, explaining himself.Â
âOhâŚâ You bite your lip. âI, uh, I think Iâm all set. Thank you again, Joel, really, for everything.â
His smile brightens as much as youâve seen it and his eyes look much kinder as he nods, a dip of his head. His hand reaches forward and takes yours through the frame of the door and squeezes it. You freeze at the sudden touch, his hand so warm and rough, calloused fingertips grazing over the softer skin of your hands. It sends your entire body into a fuzzy flash of heat for just a moment before it dissipates. He squeezes once more, thumb swiping gently over the back of your hand before he releases it. Your lips sit parted in shock, eyes a little wider and hand starting to tremble a little.Â
âAnytime,â Joel replies simply, his face falling before he turns to walk away, leaving you standing breathless for several moments before clicking the bedroom door shut behind you.Â
You jolt out of your sleep, a gasp of breath catching in your throat and dying out as you go to yell, finding your mouth tightly clasped by a large, warm palm pressing in.
âShh, shh,â the voice comes, right near your right ear. You shudder involuntarily from the hot breath fanning on such a sensitive spot and try to yell again, letting it die out as a whimper against the skin pressing on your mouth.
âShh, itâs alright. I got you,â Joel coos, his voice coming out hoarse. âNo yellinâ.â
You squirm helplessly against his hold, realizing another arm is draped across your abdomen, holding you in place. Your body exhausts quickly, still half asleep as you feel your struggle die out. Joelâs hand across your mouth loosens slowly, relieving the pressure.
âYou were havinâ a nightmare, darlinâ. Shh⌠câmon nowâŚâ His hand that had been against your lips ghosts up to your head, landing in gentle strokes against your hair. You blink a few times, heavy breaths through your nostrils now as you try to steady your mind and body. Your chest struggles against his heavy arm as it heaves, your body fully taut and mind trying to play catch up.
âW-whatâŚâ you murmur groggily, laying stiffly as Joel holds your waist, fingers brushing against your curves, pressing you close as his other hand still works tender strokes along your hair.
âOh, sweetheart, glad I heard you, hm?â he practically whispers, his face nuzzling close to the skin right under your ear. You feel the tickle of his breath and facial fair, prickly and rough against such delicate skin. You squirm gently, trying to signal that everything is too tight, too much, too⌠confusing. Joel is lost in his own world, absorbed in the softness of the places he begins to touch, hand grazing from your waist to your bare arms, fingertips exploring hungrily under the guise of being caring.Â
All heâd needed, alone and laying awake tonight, his body burning and resolve thin, was a simple touch. A chance to show you all that you needed, all he could provide for you. Only to help you, to take care of someone who couldnât care for herself. Youâd proved that much to him - you needed his guidance, his protection, his experience.
âWhatâre youâŚâ
âJusâ comforting you, darlinâ. Câmon now,â he whispers, never once pulling back or stopping the exploring heâs doing with his hands.Â
He runs through his list of reasons to convince himself why everything heâs doing is perfectly necessary before losing sight of all of it entirely when he strikes that sliver of bare skin where your tee shirt has hiked up a bit off your waist, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. His hand travels a bit higher, pushing the shirt up and grazing famished fingers across your ribcage and stomach. A small groan ripples across his chest, the vibration felt by where your body meets his. He surprises you next by tugging your shirt back down, covering the bare skin before returning his hand to your hip, pulling you closer. Heâs a wall of pure mass, muscle underneath his soft belly and chest, a man whoâs strong but still showing a bit of his age. You nearly whimper and shake, feeling a sickly heat coursing through your veins now.
âMmmâŚâ he mumbles in your ear, your own voice caught in a trap of fear lodged right in your throat. Equally afraid of the way you donât know how this night is about to end and that youâre not sure you mind where itâs going. Youâve never understood men or their intentions, and never had anyone bother to teach you, no worked up teenage boys offer to show you when you were at that age. No, you were left to guess, giggled at by other girls when you couldnât pick up on their meanings as they discussed their own secret rendezvous. This had to be everything they talked about, didnât it? The way you could feel heat and energy practically pulsating off of Joelâs body, his noises anything but natural sounding as he hummed little groans in your ear.
âYâjust needed someone, sweetheart. Yâneed someone to take care of you, donât you?â he finally says, fingers still running their way across your hair, nails scratching against your scalp. You whimper quietly at the feel of it, how damn good it all feels. You donât move, donât speak as he goes on.
âNeed a man like me, darlinâ, yâdo. I can see it - need me to take care of everythingâŚâ He mumbles similar sentiments repeatedly in your ear before bringing his lips right to your neck, just letting them graze, the wet but chapped skin of his lips pressing in gently on your pulse point. You try not to gasp, the feeling as pleasing as it is terrifying, finding yourself gripping the sheet tighter to try not to give yourself away, give him any kind of response.Â
âDonât you, honey? Need me to take care of you?â He sounds a little more desperate now, needy for the answer heâs searching for from you.
Heâs broken you down to the point you feel tears stinging at your eyes, the long awaited emotional release youâve needed sitting right there on the precipice, a small crack waiting to fully rupture. You canât be sure if you nod, just imperceptibly, you think, but Joelâs body language relaxes against you as he leans his entire chest and torso into you even more, giving you a squeeze. You know then that he got his answer, just what he was looking for. You let the tears slip out, rolling down your cheeks, onto the pillow on one side, likely falling right onto Joelâs face or in his hair on the other. He seems to barely notice, just swiping them quickly off your cheeks before resuming his position wrapping himself tightly around you.
âGood, sweetheart⌠good girl, I got youâŚâÂ
You hear his breathing start to even out shortly after, steady rise and fall of his chest against your body, and you realize heâs dozed off. Like he got what he wanted and decided he could rest now. Your entire body relaxes, a careful breath whooshing out that you hadnât even been aware you were holding in. His hand is still tangled in your hair, other one possessively on your hip, giving you absolutely no room to move. Youâre not sure you want to anymore, anyways, never having had such strength covering you, cloaking you from all of the dark, sinister things that the nighttime holds for you.
If youâre going insane, feeling safe with this man who forced his way around your body tonight, then so be it. Why shouldnât you let yourself feel safe for once? Let yourself feel less of that burden, turn it over to Joel? Your own turning wheel of thoughts starts to scare you, the little voice in the back of your head telling you what you already know and have been trying to ignore. The one little thing that you immediately put your finger on but were too scared afterwards to lift it back up and observe it closer.
You werenât having a nightmare, no, not at all. You knew when you woke from one, as sure as the god damned sky was blue and the grass was green. It wasnât a foreign concept to you by any means after what youâd been through in your life. And tonight⌠tonight hadnât been one of those nights.Â
dividers by @/saradika!
thank you @jupiter-soups and @huffle-punk for always beta-ing my shit and talking inspo with me. love you to the moon and back <3
#fic: smother#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller x f!reader#dark!joel miller#dark!joel miller x reader#x reader#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction
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How to Train your Demon
Pairing: trueform! Sukuna x Fem Reader
Summary: Life has all kinds of wins and losses. You don't know which category to put your new demon husband in though.
Tags: MDNI!, red string of fate trope, true form sukuna, librarian reader, soul mates, reincarnation, accidental summoning, love at first sight (but it's one-sided (until it's not)), Sukuna is demon, but he's v much in love, smut and stuff eventually i guess....
AN: smut in this chapter!! p in v sex, some fun with hand mouths, oral (fem receiving), Sukuna may or may not have a praise kink. also blood drinking it isn't a part of smut (just walk with me)
Part: I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI. XII XIII. (completed)
Revisit rule: "Never Leave Him Unattended"?
âYeah, Iâm not feeling too well. My foot is killing me way more than before and I think Iâm coming down with something.â
A barely concealed moan left your lips that you covered up by clearing your throat. You glared at Sukuna who was stuck on your back like a koala bear. You were laying naked in bed, limbs upon limbs tangled up in the sheets, his hands roaming over all the planes of your body. He tweaked your nipples while other hands dipped into your sex, making it impossible for you to stay on the phone with a steady voice.Â
âI will make sure to stop by the hoâhospital today,â you shuddered. Sukuna made good use of his hands, and last night you learned of one of his many quirks. One of them being the mini mouths which appear in his palms that have been tormenting you if his mouth on his face was preoccupied. You took deep breaths in to control the mounting wave of arousal building up as he toyed with your clit. âIâll try to come in tomorrow. Thanks for underssstanding.â After wincing at the sound of your squeaking voice at the end of your sentence, you practically threw your phone across the room once you hung up.Â
âSukuna please,â you whined.
âIf you wanted me to stop you would have used your fists,â he smirked. He rolled you over until you laid beneath him, his arms caging you in with nowhere to hide. On his arms and the tops of his shoulders you saw faint bite marks and scratches that you had left behind. You lost count of how many times you went at it last night. The soreness aching in your bones signalled that maybe you had overexerted yourself, but seeing Sukunaâs eyes roll back when you took him in your mouth only spurred you on, and he wasnât satisfied until you were a breathless, boneless mess, so you found yourself wrapped up in each other until the wee morning hours.
âNow watch carefully,â he purred at the apex of your thighs. He bit into your flesh, not softly but with real teeth and tug that made you hiss. You were going to reprimand himâ maybe finally give him that knuckle sandwich he was begging for earlierâ but he shoved his face into your cunt and lapped you up with a reverence that had your complaints melt out of your brain. Your legs crushed the sides of his head, so Sukuna pried your thighs open and kept them wide, pushing them as far as they could on the bed. His other hands were busy marking you up once again, whether it be with his nails or the tongues that he could make appear in his palms that sucked on your skin until you were shivering.Â
âFuckâ that feels so good. Just like that, baby.â
You were too busy with your mouth hanging wide as you writhed around in the sheets to see Sukunaâs eyes widened at your words. Your praise did wonders for his already large ego, and in no time he lifted you up to the heavens and back with his name screaming on your tongue. When he climbed up your body to fuck you once more, Sukuna held your chin and licked up the side of your face to catch the tears that were streaming down. In one swift motion he pushed inside of you, still holding your face to force eye contact. It was intense and all consuming, almost too intimate like he wasnât deep seated inside of your cunt.Â
âWhy are you staring?â You nervously laughed. Despite the molten pool of arousal building up in your lower half, you couldnât help but to tease your lover. ââBabyâ is all it takes to get you blushing like that?âÂ
You hooked your leg around his wide waist, raising your hips to his rhythm and matching his thrusts. The bed squeaked dangerously underneath your motion. Sukunaâs arm steadied himself right next to your hair, and you turned your head to kiss his wrist with a mischievous smile. âOr would you rather Your Highness?â
You were driving the demon wild. He quickly cuffed the back of your leg to perch on your shoulder, reaching a new depth inside of you. Your eyes rolled back into your head and Sukuna latched onto your shoulder with his teeth.Â
âStop talking,â he growled. Sukuna could barely hold it together. You were gripping him like your life depended on it. He couldnât last much longer with all your teasing and still you giggled.Â
âAre you gonna make me?âÂ
His hand slid down and rested heavy on your neck. You grinned, your hand laying on top of his, matching his movements.Â
âWhat a brat,â he gritted out, but he loved it. Whether it was audacity or confidence, you had it all. Sukuna reveled in it as he brought you over the edge, your orgasm sucking him in deeper, allowing him to bury himself in you. With a sharp kiss he finished inside of you, but you melted all the same. Even with all his edges, the gentle undercurrent couldnât be ignored. You coaxed Sukuna to lay on top of you like a weighted blanket to bask in the afterglow. As you combed through his hair with your finger you laughed to yourself. The noise made him look at you with a raised brow.Â
âIâm just happy that you found me. Thatâs all.âÂ
Sukuna gazed at you intensely. Heat began to prick at your face once again, but he spoke before you could crack a joke to lighten the mood.Â
âYou are not allowed to leave me again,â he said very seriously. You smiled softly and cupped the side of his face.Â
âI doubt I had any say in the matter the first time,â you laughed. âBut I can promise that Iâm not going anywhere. This time youâre stuck with me.â
It was a promise. Despite the curve of your lips you truly meant the words coming out of your mouth. The start of your relationship didnât make sense, and there were many logistics that needed to be sorted out later, but as of right now, you knew that you wanted to make this work with Sukuna. You had a feeling that everything would fall into place.Â
Sukuna laid his cheek back on your bare chest. His deep voice rumbled through your body in a way that reminded you of Cleoâs purring.Â
âSleep. You will need energy for the ceremony.â
The idea of genuine rest coming finally within reach made your eyelids droop. You wanted to fight the sleepiness off but it was futile. The last thing you remembered before going under was a soft kiss pressed into your palm.Â
~*~
You were gently woken up by the feeling of Cleoâs whiskers tickling your face. She gently pawed at your nose, then waited for you to sit up. Beside her you spotted black robes carefully placed at the end of your bed and you blinked.Â
âI guess Iâm supposed to put this on,â you muttered. The material was thick and soft. Cleo meowed and jumped off of the bed, going to who knows where. You stood up and slipped the garments on. It didnât swallow your entire frame as you expected, and there were ties to cinch in your waist. The dress was made for you. Â
As you were putting on the last piece of the ensemble, a veil that stopped middle of your chest, a soft knock came from your closed door.Â
âCome in!â
Uraume scuffled inside, glad to see that you were already dressed. You did a quick twirl for them with a smile. âHow do I look?â
âThe stars pale in comparison, maâam,â they said with a tug on their lips.Â
âYou flatter me too much,â you gushed. âI guess itâs time to get this show on the road. What do I have to do?â
âEverything else has been taken care of. Please follow me.â
Uruame took you outside to your backyard and you realized it was much later in the day than you had thought. The sky was a bright pink with streaks of orange clouds cutting through the horizon. Sukuna stood at the other side of your yard in a kimono that was in the same colored garbs you were in, the dark reds and blacks flowing around his physique. All his eyes watched you intently and your heart rate quickened. With your hands held together in front of you, you carefully walked behind Uraume down to where Sukuna was, trying hard not to trip because of the fabric that swished at your ankles. When you stood across from Sukuna you, a small table with an obsidian bowl and a dagger laid inside separated you.Â
Uraume wasted no time getting started once you had stopped moving. They held the book that started it all in their hands.You only caught bits and pieces of what they were saying as they spoke quickly, moving through prayers and chants from eras of ancient times. While you were caught in a trance from the words Uraume was saying, Sukunaâs eyes never left your face. Uruame spoke of combining two souls and you gasped. You remembered Sukuna mentioning the string of fate the very first night you had met, but it wasnât until now that you could faintly see the glimmering red string from your pinky to his. It was barely there, hidden by a very thin veil of the world as you know it and all the possibilities out there.Â
Uraume stopped talking and looked towards Sukuna. He grabbed the dagger from the table and held out his hand for you to take.Â
âThis will hurt but you will be fine,â he stated. You watched as the jagged teeth of the blade tore through your skin and hissed. Drops of blood pooled in the bowl, and Uraume quickly wrapped your hand and wiped the blade clean. They handed you the blade, and you gingerly took Sukunaâs awaiting palm.Â
âLet me know if Iâm hurting you,â you mumbled.Â
âImpossible.â
After a few deep breaths you managed to cut through Sukunaâs skin and his blood joined yours in the bowl. Once again, Uraume wrapped Sukunaâs hand and cleaned the blade. Sukuna lifted your veil and brought the plate up to your lips. The smell of iron filled your nose and you took a small sip. The metallic liquid covered your tongue, and Sukuna kept his eyes locked on yours as you consumed it. He brought the plate down to place in your hands, and you fed him your blood the same way.Â
You didnât know what to expect. There was no cloud of smoke, or flashing lights, or anything that showed a major transformation had occurred. Sukuna looked as handsome as ever, but you did notice that he no longer had four eyes. You turned to Uraume with a quizzical gaze.Â
âWhat now?â
âI believe this when they say, âYou may kiss the bride,ââ Uraume smiled.Â
âFinally,â Sukuna grinned. He wrapped his hands around your waist (only two) and kissed you like he hadnât in centuries. And maybe he hasnât. The kiss marked a new beginning that started and would end with you.Â
You broke apart when you heard loud complaining from your cat that watched from the patio. Cleo laid over the cement floor flicking her tail back and forth, watching the two of you with disdain. You laughed at her call to stop and Sukuna told her to go away.Â
âGod, there is blood all over your lips,â you shook your head. You wiped it away with your hands and Sukuna couldnât stop smiling.Â
âYour blood all over my lips.â
âAnd yours,â you giggled. âItâs official now. You are my husbandââ
âAnd you are my wife,â he said against your mouth.Â
Thanks for reading loves!! lemme know what ya think xx
Part: I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI. XII. XIII.
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#minimoe#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna fluff#sukuna x you#sukuna smut#sukuna ryoumen x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#red string of fate#sukuna
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In regards to the whole soul mate thing, Soap's been through all the phases.
He'd started curious, then confused, then mournful, then resentful. For now he's settled somewhere in the vicinity of apathyâmaybe spite.
He doesn't have a soul-mark. Never has, never will, and that's... fine. He's far from the only one lacking that kind of connection, and that's enough for him to feel understood. Not alone. He's got plenty of good friends besidesâwith and without soulmates of their ownâand he's happy that way. Really, he is; it took him a fair amount of work to get to a place where he could say that and it not be wishful thinking. He's got friends, family, dalliances, motion and company and light in his life despite the lack of a mark that tells him where his place is.
And then he meets Ghost.
The Lieutenant is huge in the sense that his presence alone takes up what space his height and muscle can't. He's quiet, too, at least before Soap makes the effort to worm his way under all that tacgear. (The man is intriguing, what can he say? Who else walks around with a honest-to-fuck skull mask day in and out.)
Ghost seems to tolerate him at first, then inexplicably starts to prickle and grouch whenever Soap comes within six feet of him. He could make up a few reasons for why that is, but instead contents himself with pretending he doesn't noticeâpushing the implied boundary until Ghost mans up and tells him off.
He never does, though. And it's not long at all until Soap's found that the boundary has given way and Ghost isâwell he's actually pretty pleasant to be around. He's funny, and patient, and gives way too much of a shit to be in a career that pretty much ensures the death of everyone he works with. (He likes to pretend he doesn't, but there's no other reason he would have been waiting up in that church for Soapâin fact he shouldn't have still been there at all, since he'd already scoped an escape route. The bastard's soft, is what he's saying.)
And that's when things start to backslide just a little.
They're sitting in the messâonly three of them, the Captain unable to grace them with his presenceâand Gaz is talking about his sister's husband's new boyfriend being the result of a late-discovery soulmatch.
"Could you imagine," he says, pausing to chew his mouthful before he continues. "Going thirty years knowing there's someone out there for you, and not seeing them until after you're already married?"
"Could be platonic," Soap pointed out, not bothering with the same courtesy of chewing his food. Ghost kicks him under the table for it, but he honestly can't be asked to care for only three words worth.
"Could be, but stillâcould you imagine?"
"Nope." Soap pops the 'P' and grins. Ghost doesn't kick him this time since he hasn't taken another bite yet. "I'm a wee bit hopeless in that department."
"Ah, brother." Gaz reaches out and they clasp hands for a moment, then he nudges his shoulder. "You and me both. Never much got the fuss about it, but that does seem like some sort of cosmic irony yeah?"
"Issat irony?" Soap asks. "Don't think that's right."
Obviously, that incites a short argument that ends when Gaz pulls out his phone to look up the actual dictionary definition of 'irony', and Soap grasps to change the topic to literally anything else to avoid Gaz gloating on the off chance that he's right.
"Lt, what about you?"
Ghost blinks at him as if he hasn't been staring at the both of them through the whole conversation.
"I know what irony is, Johnny."
"Noâ" he can't help the scowl, and talks over Gaz's sudden jeering as he shoves his phone under his nose. Soap lifts his chin to avoid it. "You got a soul mark?"
"Read it and weep, Soap!" Gaz cheers, only slightly subdued in respect for every else in the room.
"I do." Ghost says at the same time, dipping his head in a tiny little nod, and Soap's world ends just a little bit, right there in the mess hall. Curls up, withers, and dies without so much as a squeal.
He's not able to ask if Ghost knows who it is, or if he's met them, or if they're still alive, or if it's romantic or platonic; he's not sure if it even matters, because Johhny knows right then that he will never be as close to Ghost as they are.
And it hurts.
It hurts in a way he wasn't entirely expecting.
He must hold it together well enough through the rest of dinner, and then through walking with Gaz back to their rooms, but once he's got the door locked behind him he feels the smile fall off his face. He sits down on the edge of his bed.
Ghost has a soulmate.
Ghost has a soulmate and Soap is pissed about it. Because that soulmate isn't himâit can't be, since he doesn't have a mark of his own.
It's justâit's unfair. They work so well together, on the field and off. He knows for a fact no one else can read Ghost as well as he can, no one else talks to him like he does, he doesn't hang around anyone else like he seems to hang around Soap. If anyone should be Ghost's soulmate, it should be him.
But he's not. Which means there's someone else out there that can watch his six better, understand him more, have more satisfying conversationsâand it seems fucking impossible, because he doesn't even know how it could get better given the time they've known eachother... and yet.
And yet Ghost has a mark, and Soap doesn't.
It takes him days to get over itâat least enough to act himself when he's in company. Ghost tries to get him to talk about it three separate times before he can manage to get his shit together. He won't *lie* to Simon, nor is he about to admit to what's eating at him, and it leaves him snappish. Leaves the vitriol closer to the surface than it ever has been around Ghost and he hates to see how he reacts to it; he doesn't cower, doesn't flinch, doesn't avoid him, just staresâin a different way than before. John's temper will flare and Ghost will freeze a little, tilt his head, furrow his brow, and fucking stare at him until the moment passes. It might be better if he raised his voice in return, let it escalate into a proper fightâor even if he shut Soap down hard and told him to cool off. Instead Ghost looks at him like he's gone and become a stranger; like he's confused where he doesn't expect to be, and that hurts almost as much as finding out his place isn't next to Simonâor at least, he doesn't have any rightful claim to it.
#siiigh. fuck it. *starts posting my wips*#i have like 35 of em thats gotta be something right#so far ive mostly just been bothering rune about fic ideas too so. LOL.#hes already seen all these probs#anw#fic wip#wip.txt#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#uhh sorrt about the hurt/no comfort folks i did not get to writing the comfort part yet LOL#cod:mwii#soapghost fic#soulmate au#i will refrain from tagging this like an ao3 upload#youre welcome#notes-app-clutter.zip
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Deal With It | Gojo Satoru x M!Reader (TEASER)
CW: Arranged marriage, SELF-HARM (on and off-screen), hurt/comfort, angst, drama, self-loathing, blood and gore, implied depression, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation #NSFW, probably top Gojo, probably bottom reader, maybe switch idk, idek if they'll bang it out tbh lol, angst with a happy ending, reader is a sorcerer, time skips, time progression, relationship development, student era into teacher era Note: I got this request to make a story revolving around Gojo and an arranged marriage to the reader (but bro is in love with Getou sob.gif), and I've been RUMINATING on it for forever. I think I finally have a good idea of who the reader is/what their chemistry is like with Gojo, so I'm happy to post a wee bit of a teaser to motivate myself! Let me know your thoughts---I'm finding that I absolutely love writing for Gojo, so I'm down to write more LOL. He's a very fun, complex character.
Deal With It
âSo, you really donât care what he thinks?â Shoko asked as you lit her cigarette. âEven I think he was kinda harsh.â
You pocketed your lighter and leaned back against the cold stone of the college walls. âHeâs got a thing for that black-haired guy.â
âGetou.âÂ
âSure.â You shrugged and tried to rub the ache out of your neck as you stared up at the bleak, grey skies. The air reeked of petrichor. Thankfully youâd brought an umbrella that day.Â
âAnd youâre not bothered heâs in love with Getou?â Your friend continued, her cute bobbed haircut swaying with the tilt of her head. She always looked so charming like that, when she was being a mischievous brat while pretending to be anything but.Â
âDunno.â And that was the truth. âHeâs not even my type. Iâd rather hitch up with someone like you or Nanami. Someone less annoying. Less loud-mouthed.âÂ
âOoh, that'll hurt his ego.â Shoko smiled. âWell, guess you'll have to learn to deal with it.â
You took a deep breath and rubbed your face as you nodded. âYeah.â
â
âForever is a long time,â You mumbled, leaning your forehead against the cool touch of the window. Rain pittered and pattered, exploding off the glass like trillions of kamikaze planes. It almost birthed some sort of hurt in your chest. Best not to dwell on it, you decided.
âHah? Are you talking to yourself again like a weirdo?â The one and only Gojo Satoru yowled before kicking you in the rear like a petulant child. âPft! Figures. Knowing my luck, I would have to get married to a creeper.âÂ
âEven if you married Getou, you'd still be marrying a creep,â you grumbled, dusting the dirt off your behind. âYou need something? Or did you harass me just for the fun of it.âÂ
You heard Gojo, your fiancĂŠ, scoff and shuffle behind you. âI just wanted to remind you to humble yourself! Just because I'm forced to marry you doesn't mean you're accomplished or cool or anything, got it?âÂ
Being in his presence had you craving a cigarette. âYeah, got it.âÂ
âAnd Suguru's better than you,â he added, aloof voice bowing down beneath hardened, steeled words. âDon't forget that either.âÂ
You bit down on your cheek to ward away the heat building under your skin, the magma sinking deep into your eyesockets and threatening to pour down your esophagus. The taste of iron washed against your tongue, and you released your flesh from between your molars. Sometimes, you wanted to keep boring down on yourself to see how much you could really take, but a fear of the answer too often made you think twice.Â
âThis is starting to bore me,â you said, tilting your head as you caught a flicker of red in your rain-muddied reflection. You touched your fingers to your tongue and found translucent red coating the tips.Â
âPah. I was gonna say the same!â You watched his reflection turn away. âGood luck trying to impress me.âÂ
I'm not interested. You watched him walk away, slouching and with his hands in his pockets like he was emulating some kind of yankii character. He might have fit the bill, if he hadn't had such a ridiculous, brat side to him. Just deal with it. You wiped the red on your uniform with a sigh. Tomorrow's a new day.
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#male reader insert#jjk x male reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x you#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x male reader#jjk reader insert#reader insert#bl reader insert#gojo reader insert#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x#Arranged marriage#SELF-HARM (on and off-screen)#hurt/comfort#angst#drama#self-loathing#blood and gore#implied depression#suicidal thoughts#suicidal ideation
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