#kima & reader
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
kimaswork · 6 months ago
Text
A challenge. That was your solution. So many men in Sumeru wanted you for your beauty, so what was a young witch like yourself to do? Thats when you saw a stray cat in the distance and an idea hit you.
Putting up a notice on the commission board, you wrote that whoever could get a bell from a stray black cat, would be given the chance to date you. A simple challenge right? No.
For there was a catch- you were the cat.
Being a witch, a chaos witch in particular, you weren’t restrained to any rules in the magic world. Other witches like Mona, are bound to astral magic. But you could use any kind you wished with bor limits. Chaos was yours to wield and that involved having all the magic arts at your disposal.
There were many attempts made as men dashed, leaped, and chased after you. Some even resorted to traps, of which you were displeased with as you occasionally tripped just for the fun of it. You snickered as you watched the men exasperatedly groan as their traps were found empty or torn to shreds.
In full honesty this was more for your entertainment, but having the males leave you alone was a major bonus.
One day you saw a tall male with large fennec fox like ears wander into town. He gathered supplies and stopped by the board, most likely because your commission was the talk of the town. His ears perked as he saw your picture on the commission,Like all the others, your beauty captivated him, and that was when he decided to take part.
A few weeks went by as you tricked the men of the city. But only one caught your eye. The green stripes in his hair mesmerized you, seemingly glowing in the darker areas of the underground market.
You saw him disabling traps that once were laid out for you. Seeing him do this made your heart melt. He seemed to really care for the condition the cat, well, you. He was rather kind, kind enough that he tried to feed you at times. Unlike the other men around, Tighnari, as you had learned was his name, was a sweet soul. As you observed him work and continue with his duties when he wasn't gaining your trust. You found he was both a forest ranger and a healer of sorts.
His smile was like a sweet treat. His voice smooth and calming to your ears. You knew he was the one when he kneeled down before you and gently pet you, not even going for the bell that laid on the collar.
You leaned into his hand, enjoying the attention of the sweet man. It was at this moment that you had made up your mind, you'd choose him.
The only problem? You only had to get him to take the bell. The challenge you once set for the men was now a challenge for you. He didn't even seem interested in the bell, only you.
Time and time again he seemingly didn't notice the bell. No matter how many times he stroked your soft fur, gentle fingers grazing the collar, he neve took the bell.
Growing mildly impatient you sook him out each time he returned to the city. As he was in the markets, you found him and sat beside him. Only moving to follow him around the area. You nipped your sharp teeth at his puffy pants to get his attention.
Your efforts only brought a smile to his face every time he gazed down at you.
;&───⇌• :🌷: •⇋───&;
After nearly a month of trying to get him to take the bell you grew impatient. Deciding he was the one and you were going to have him.
In your natural form you decided to approach him whilst he was in the city collecting supplies. If he wouldn't take the bell then you would just take him, simple as that.
But before you could even get in a word he turned from his trade and saw you. "Why hello there, you must be ____." His cheery tone took you by surprise. It was still so early, yet he seemed to have all the energy in the world.
"Yes, that's me. And you are Tighnari, correct?" You asked, if only to keep up a more formal appearance rather than admitting you had essentially stalked him while in cat form.
"Correct. Can I help you?" He asked, his sweet smile curling his lips. "Ah, yes." You replied, clearing your throat as you put your mind back on track. "I was um..."
God, how were you supposed to ask him out? Technically this was your first time meeting. Speaking with him only now seemed difficult.
His head tilted and his large ears flopped to the side as he looked to you expectantly. You cleared your throat once more. "Ahem, I was wondering if you would perchance go on a date with me?"
Your hands clasped behind your back as you looked to your feet bashfully. Hearing a snicker you looked up to him.
"I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask!" He chuckled, leaving you confused. Was he so confident in himself that he knew you would want him? Or was there something he knew and you didn't? Before you could say anything more than a soft "How?" He began to explain.
"Your scent, I knew you were that cat. Despite the form you take your scent remains the same." He states matter-of-factly. "O-oh..." You mumbled thinking you should have seen that coming.
"So is that a no?" You inquired sadly, feeling your hopes begin to fall. "Of course not! I would love to go on a date with you." He chirped. Heart soaring you looked up to him. "Really?!"
He responded with a nod before setting his hand on your head, giving it a gentle ruffle. "Of course, I'd love to." You grinned from ear to ear as he spoke his next words. "I'll pick you up tonight around 7, sound good?" Words falling short, you nodded happily.
"Alright then, I'll finish up here and see you tonight." He said as he waved you goodbye. You returned the gesture as you waved him off and returned to your home, preparing your best outfit for the night.
;&───⇌• :🌷: •⇋───&;
That's all for today, wrote this while in the psychward lmao.
Send in a request if you have any ideas for me to write!
Have a lovely day babes ❤️
156 notes · View notes
demigoddessqueens · 2 years ago
Note
So more of me being down bad for critical role women may I request Kima x reader x allura poly.
Such a mood!
They were great this season 💙💕🧡
Tumblr media
You had met them both during your early travels.
Kima and Allura had already known each from before but were intrigued by you
Everyone’s got a story to tell and yours was no exception at remaining hidden
You start to notice how there’s a shift whenever you’re around
Going out of their way to help you with something, teaching you new magic, spending more time with you than usual, etc.
Kima is more outspoken and has a tendency to show off for you and Allura. Whereas Allura is more subtle and intimate in her affections
Sweet kisses! And gifts galore!
Also tons of hand holding 💕
In the castle of Emon, the rest of Uriel’s court doesn’t dare to insult you unless they want to get a scathing earful from both.
Jealousy is never a cause for concern. Unless someone gets too much in your personal space
71 notes · View notes
haechanskins · 1 year ago
Text
Lose Somebody - Winter
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
☆ note: this is my first wlw writting ever, if you think I can improve in something or want to advice me, I'm all ears! I would really appreciate if you let a comment with your thoughts ♡
MINORS DO NOT READ OR INTERACT
☆ genre: f!reader, smut;
☆ warnings:  kinda hate sex, toxic ex gf/fiancée, reconciliation through sex, teasing, choking, swear words, fingering, oral receiving;
☆ wc: 2.3k
click here to see the pool. ☆
It was the 30th missed call Minjeong left on your phone. You knew she was drunk again and would say things she shouldn't, just like last time. "I messed up, multiple times. You need to understand that you have to come back to me. Who will love you like I do? Who will wreck you in bed like I do? Who will even care about you? Your destiny is with me". There's no mental readiness to answer the phone; no valid reason to relive it all. You know the calls will only stop when she passes out or sleeps, so you decide to turn it off and lie down. The night seems much longer when your mind refuses to let go, surrounded by worry and dreams returning to the day it all happened...
"How many more times is this damn woman going to show up?" Minjeong shouts as your friend Giselle visits your house again. Your fiancée spent the night away without explanations, and Giselle stayed to calm you. "All that bitch wants is to take you away from me, can't you see?" Anger makes the beer bottle in Minjeong's hands fly towards the wall near you. In that moment, Minjeong realizes her mistake, even though she's far from sober, and rushes toward you. She always had jealousy issues, and you usually let it pass, but this time, the shock and fear were too much. Her touch alone was enough to make you scream and cry.
"Please, forgive me!" she says amidst tears, trying to hold your face. "Babe, please forgive me!" she continues, trying to hold your hands while you throw the ring away. She kneels, holds your arms - the last place you need to be - the last face you want to see is hers. Thursday morning, 8 am, was when it all happened. The last words you heard after walking through the door were "Slut, go be with your bitch Giselle and then tell me if she's better than me! I know I can find someone better than you.". These words echo in your mind during what should be a peaceful sleep, but you're awakened by your own voice calling your ex-fiancée's name incessantly. Should you call her? But why? To hear mockery and provocations?
A hot shower should bring some calmness. All you can think about now is a bit of tranquility. The water flowing down your body makes this feeling seem true for a moment. Walking through the apartment, you realize there's garbage to take out, and your little dog starts jumping on your legs as if asking for fresh air. "Just because I need to take out the trash, okay?" putting the small one under your arm and heading to the elevator. "Do you think I should call her, Kima?" you ask, touching the tip of the small pet's nose, and her head turns around. "She can't even answer and would disapprove" but does she miss her other mom? Thoughts consume you again until Kima gets restless and starts barking while leaving the building. You search for reasons, put her down, and check if there's something on her tiny body. Then she escapes to the automatic gate. Minjeong is leaning against it, at first, you think it might be your sleep playing tricks on you or the lack of glasses, so you start shouting for Kima to come back.
"She misses me too" the redhead shouts. "Please, let me in. I just want one last conversation." You sigh and think for a moment before opening the gate. "I'm doing this for Kima. You have 15 minutes at most!" you say, approaching the gate and opening it.
Keeping with the usual, as you reach your floor, you make coffee for both while Minjeong plays with Kima in the living room. As you sweeten the drink, your mind begins to question the decision to let her into your home, into your comfort. In a moment of distraction and vulnerability, you grab the hot iron kettle without realizing it, screaming in pain and alerting your ex, who was in the other room. "Here..." she guided you to the sink, letting cold running water flow over your hand. "Do you have burn ointment?". "In the bedroom, second door on the corridor" you answer without much thought. When you hear the doorknob turning, you scream at Minjeong to go back, but it's too late. You still have photos with her on the desk, and your steps after the unresolved breakup have been slow. Seeing her still confuses you, and your heart, whether you like it or not, beats faster.
"I found it" showing the ointment in her hands while smiling slightly. She extends her hand, waiting for yours, and applies gently. Pointing to the sofa, she asks you to sit and grabs the cups, placing them on the small coffee table. "You still have..." she begins, but you cut her off instantly, asking what she wants to talk about and why she's there. Minjeong sighs and stares at the ceiling for a few seconds, as if waiting for the words to fall from the sky into her head. "I miss you…" you continue looking while her eyes seem to search for another focus and her mouth more words. "Is that it?" she remains silent. "Then you can leave!" the girl watches you walk towards the door to send her away, but she doesn't move. "I said you can go, Minjeong." The last thing your ex-fiancée would do is leave. She managed to contact you after months, entered your house, and was in your presence. She won't leave.
"Okay" as you open the door, Minjeong closes it again, leaning over you. Not much taller, but already causing some intimidation due to the angle and proximity, she continues "Do you prefer to hear me here or in bed?" Silence hangs in the air, and the atmosphere is palpable. You want her to leave while simultaneously wanting her to touch you any way she pleases. "Sorry, didn't mean to cross boundaries. I thought we could..." she backs away from the door, trying to explain her recent behavior. But you’re faster and more eager. It's impossible to lie to your own body. A fervent and quick kiss begins, lasting for a few minutes until you both need air.
"I thought you wouldn't want to see me ever again!" "This is the last time, Kim Minjeong. This is the last time." Everything around you seems to vanish until you touch and fall, fortunately, nothing breaks on the way to the bed. "Whatever you want," you say, watching her eyes darken. Supported by your knees, facing each other, you feel your neck being squeezed. Minjeong's laughter resonates in your ears, sending a shiver down your entire body.
"If this is the last time, then I'll fuck you like the slut you are" she almost spits out each word, pushing you onto the bed and lightly biting every exposed inch of your skin. You don't resist for a minute; her words only make you crave more, yet at the same time, they ignite a sense of anger, uncertain if it's just a fetish or something serious.
"I'm the slut, and you come crawling to my door?" you move on top of her. "Not going to answer?" you question, slapping her face, and she smirks, attempting to put her hands on your waist. However, you pull them up, leaning on them, just inches away from Minjeong's mouth. "I'm not the one missing you," spreading kisses on her face. "I'm not the one begging every day to come back. Or am I?" you mock, a statement mixed with truth, both with hearts pounding and panties soaked.
"You..." she starts.
"I don't want you to speak. I want you to beg," you interrupt.
"I like your attempt to take control. It's cute. But it doesn't work with me" she retorts "but since you're here, you'll make it easier for me," she continues smiling, and your head knots for a few seconds. How did she manage to flip the situation like this?
"I won't do anything you want," running your hands through Minjeong's red hair. "Why should I?"
"Because you've always obeyed me, like a good girl." she teases.
"That's over, Minjeong."
"Over?" she laughs. "And would you spread your legs if I commanded?" she asks, pulling your hand towards her mouth, licking and sucking on the two middle fingers. "Would you take off this blouse if I told you to?" continues. You feel your body shiver and yield to each word she says. You get up from the bed, and her eyes follow you as she sits there, glancing at you. You remove your blouse and the small pajama shorts, turning around to reveal just your panties. Minjeong observes every inch of your body, running her hands from your neck to your thighs.
"Is this what you want?" 
"I want much more!" she replies, pulling you by the waist. You look down at her and give her a slap. "I wished you'd never show up here again" her eyes search for whether it's the truth or just a game. "I wished you'd disappear from my life forever" another slap. "You could find someone better so easily, and yet, here you are, begging for me," you say, sitting on her lap while speaking. "Is it cute for me to try to boss you around?" You laugh mockingly and give another slap, moving your hand down to Minjeong's neck, squeezing it. She continues to look at you with doubt, but there's nothing in you that worries about responding at this moment.
Drawing her silhouette with your hands, she shivers with every touch and sighs with every scratch where her skin is exposed. Kneeling on the rug in your room, you put your hands on her waist to find the edge of her pants, starting to pull along with her panties. Once done, you move your hands up again to take off the remaining blouse and bra. For the first time, you observe the shaky breaths coming from your old partner instead of yourself.
"Look who's the slut now. So needy and alone that you're wet for so little" one hand squeezing Minjeong's neck, while the other is wandering across her intimacy. "How many fingers do you think I can fit without even touching you?" you ask, making a pout. "Three? Already?" you pretend to insert your fingers, and her eyes close, mouth opens with a slight moan. You laugh; she opens her eyes disappointed, and mumbles.
"I want you to sit on my face" you say, lying on the bed and waiting for her, but Minjeong laughs and doesn't follow. "As I said, it's cute," she says, leaning into the space between your legs "but it doesn't work with me" she concludes, placing kisses on the inner part of your thigh, causing shivers and a soft moan to escape. Minjeong laughs and moves closer to your pussy.
Positioning herself on top of your body, she confesses several times that she felt hatred towards you for ignoring her, that she wanted to have you all the time, but you were a complete slut. That's why she was there, to show you why she should be the only one to touch your body forever.
"You're going to cooperate with me now," she said, biting your thigh "properly" she continued, placing a kiss on your clitoris, then licking your entire intimate area from top to bottom twice, watching you squirm and moan. "Hmm... so you like this, don't you?" she laughed. "Want more?" She licked again and gave another kiss.
"Please," you responded with a trembling voice.
"Please, what, my love?" she licked once more.
"Please, I need you to go down on me."
"Good girl," she replied, doing what had been asked. Then, she inserted two fingers while alternating between slow and fast sucks, murmuring, "Delicious as always," and grumbling, "You're so tasty. I love the taste you have," making your entire pussy vibrate. When the redhead noticed that you were moaning too much and holding onto her hair tightly, she stopped abruptly.
"Did you stop?" you asked desperately. "I was almost there," you grumbled.
"I want to come with you" she said, kissing up your belly and breasts, sucking a few times. "I want to feel you" she continued, immediately kissing you. She gradually pulled your hair while one hand played with your clitoris and returned to your breasts without any warning or alert. Everything seemed to make you 100% more sensitive to her touch, more needy, and addicted to that touch.
Minjeong pulled you closer "We've never tried this. Do you want to?" She pulled one of your legs up onto her thigh. You knew what she was talking about and involuntarily smiled. The only answer you could give was your own body fitting perfectly with hers; pussy against pussy. You could hardly breathe with your hearts racing amid so many moans. The only sound besides them was the wet skin-on-skin noise. "It's unbelievable how beautiful you look when you're about to cum for me" Minjeong gasps. "You're mine," she continues, grinding against you even more.
"I'm yours. I'm only yours" you say as your voice falters amid whispers and almost tears. "I'm going to—" you say, almost shouting.
"Cum in my pussy" she replies "with me" she continues, holding onto your waist even tighter, giving more and more thrust. The moans get louder, and you both hardly know where to touch—lacking hands for hair, breasts, waist, thighs, lacking voice.
You climax together. It wasn't the last time you saw Minjeong or had sex with her, but on this specific day, after everything, she stayed with you, and you slept entwined. Minjeong still believes to this day that you were in a deep sleep when she whispered "I had to lose you to realize I can't live without you... what an idiot... I hope this never happens again. I love you, y/n."
tags: @minjeongswife
286 notes · View notes
rare-clone-fic-exchange · 1 year ago
Text
The Sweetest Constant
Pairing: ARF Trooper Hound x Fem!Reader
Summary: Sergeant Hound comes to your pet store needing supplies for his new K9. Fluff ensues.
Warnings: None. Hound is a perfectly sweet cinnamon roll who does no wrong and I am taking no questions.
Word Count: 2260
A/N: Written for the amazing @the-bad-batch-baroness! Hope you enjoy it lovely!
A few notes/translations before we start:
Centaxday - second day of the Galactic Standard Calendar week
Zhellday - fourth day of the Galactic Standard Calendar week
Besom - ill-mannered lout, unhygienic person, someone with no manners
Tumblr media
It was Centaxday the first time you met. The gentle jingle of the bell as the door of your humble shop opened brought you back from your daydream. You rose from your seat to greet the Coruscant Guard ARF trooper who strolled him. His armor was shiny and unblemished. The kit paint looked freshly applied. His kama possessed no blaster burns yet.
“‘Mornin’.” His warm baritone crackled through the vocoder of his helmet. You couldn’t see his face but you could hear a tinge of excitement in his greeting.
“Good morning! What can I do for you, sir?”
“Ahh no sir, please.” He waved a dismissive hand before it came to rest on the back of his neck. “Sergeant Hound. But just Hound is fine. Gettin’ my K9 tomorrow and I want to make sure she’s set.”
“You came to the right place, Hound! Have a look around and let me know if you have any questions.”
He bounced on the balls of his feet before he stepped away from you, his elation palpable. He had the energy of a child receiving their first pet and you loved watching this grown man trying to reel in the abundance of joy bubbling through the shiny white and red armor.
He tried to appear casual as he meandered through your shop eyeing various pet accessories, treats, and food. You watched him curiously as he ran his hands over a fluffy pink puppy sweater, with all the ardor of an expectant father. You’d only ever seen the Corries from a distance and you were slightly awestruck by his presence. Respectful yet commanding, he walked with a confidence that made him incredibly attractive even having not seen his face. And his obvious excitement about his new K9 may have been the most attractive thing you’d seen ever.
You cleared your throat. “I don’t mean to pry but what will your K9 be?”
He glanced over from the shelves of treats. “Massiff. She’s still a pup. We start training tomorrow.”
You circled around the counter, coming to stand to his right. Even through the armor he smelled wonderful, woodsy and fresh.
“These.” You pointed at a large blue box with a cartoon massif on the front. “These are my best selling massiff treats. Everyone who buys them raves about how much their pooches love them!”
He tilted his helmet toward you before taking the box from the shelf. “Thanks. Any other suggestions?” The lightness to his tone betrayed the smile hidden under the helmet.
You nodded and guided him around the store. Soon his arms were stacked high with collars, leashes, dishes, a training clicker, food, a bed, and the pink sweater, just the right size for a wee massiff.
You packed everything for him in a box and he informed you the GAR would be picking up the bill.
You slumped in your chair once he’d left, overwhelmed by how quickly you’d taken to a man whose face you’d never seen. A face, you’d assumed you’d never see.
Tumblr media
It was Zhellday when you saw him again.
The park near your shop was the ideal place for you to take your kima pup; minimal crowds, quiet, and slow paced. It allowed for a slow transition into socializing for your excessively anxious puppy. At least that was the case on most days.
“Grizzer! Grizzer! Stop! Heel! Grizzer, you besom!!”
You spun around, hearing the frantic voice accompanied by enthusiastic yelps quickly approaching you. You snatched up your bitty kima as he trembled like a leaf in the wind. The grinning massiff pup donning a familiar pink sweater came skidding to a halt at your feet. Not far behind was the slobbery pup's handler.
“I am so sorry about her! We just started training and she’s still excitable!” He huffed, catching his breath as he bent over to pick up the leash.
You blinked in disbelief at first. You hadn’t seen his face when he’d come to your store a few days prior. He’d been decked out in his entire kit last time. Today he only had on armor from the waist down and his kama. His broad shoulders and chest were accentuated by the skin tight black body glove with the Galactic Roundel emblazoned on it. Behind the warmth of his brown eyes was a spark that threatened to outshine the galaxy. Those same mesmerizing eyes studied you intently while a bashful blush darkened his ears.
His hair was shaved into a tidy undercut with the extra length tied into a bun in the back. He puffed, pushing the dark curls from his sweaty forehead.
“It’s okay. I get it. Puggle is still pretty excitable too. But…” you held up your own pup. “He’s a little smaller than…Grizzer was it?”
He looked away sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, Grizzer.”
“And you’re Hound, right?”
He chuckled. “You remember me.”
“I couldn’t forget a Corrie who bought his massiff a pink sweater. Looks great on her by the way.”
Grizzer danced around your feet with happy tippy taps and impatient whines. She looked from you to Hound and gave her butt an excited wiggle.
Hound grinned proudly. “Yeah she’s pretty cute. Pink is definitely her color. She loves those treats by the way.”
You beamed at his praise, delving into a hundred questions about how training was coming along and if he needed more supplies. Eventually you bid each other farewell for the second time and you prayed to the Force it wouldn’t be the last.
Tumblr media
Days turned into weeks. Whether it was the Force or something more intentional, you and Hound encountered each other with increasing frequency. Sometimes you’d see him on duty patrolling the park where you walked Puggle. Sometimes he was training Grizzer there, half clad in armor, often drenched in sweat under the exertion of handling his enthusiastic massif. If you managed to catch his attention he always gave you a friendly wave. And sometimes he showed up at your shop unannounced. It was always under the guise of making a purchase (always charged to the GAR). But his visits were becoming more frequent and accompanied by fewer purchases. Not that you were bothered. He was divinely handsome, charming, and sweet as chocolate covered camby berries. To say you were enraptured by him was an understatement.
He’d often spend hours leaning against the counter, his bucket casually resting next to him as he chatted with you about anything and everything under the Coruscant sun. He loved telling you about his brothers. Fox and his caf addiction and inability to decompress. Thorn and his penchant for chaos. Thire and his smart mouth that always got him into trouble. Stone’s endless patience and his refusal to engage in small talk of any kind. You loved seeing his face animate as he talked about them, his love and adoration for his brothers was apparent.
He was funny. You often found yourself laughing until you had tears streaming down your cheeks and both of you were gasping to catch your breath through fits of giggles. He was thoughtful as well, volunteering to help with heavy orders or reaching the top shelves. It was those times that your heart fluttered as if it were a butterfly trying to escape captivity. Especially when your hands would brush in passing or he would press into your back, caging you in as he lifted boxes over your head.
However, it was his love for animals that had bewitched you entirely. You’d watched him carefully tend frighted song sparrows and tookas in the park with no hesitation. He’d rescue cornered pikobis so they wouldn’t shed their tails. He even told you about the time he snuck an injured crown finch back to the Corrie Guard barracks and nursed it back to health during his off-duty time with the help of his brother, Stone.
He’d talk for hours about his precious Grizzer. His animated hands gesticulating wildly as he shared story after story about the trouble his “sweet Grizzy girl”- as he called her - would get into. Including the time the rambunctious pup invaded his brother Fox’s footlocker and chewed a hole in the rear end of his body glove. A hole that was only noticed when Thire made a snarky shebs joke at Fox’s expense when he’d taken his kit off for the evening. He laughed as he recalled Fox putting him on ‘fresher duty as payback.
Tumblr media
The more he visited you, the more your conversations flowed, and the more you realized you may be falling for him. And then one evening Hound stayed a little longer than usual. You both had been so consumed in each other’s company that it wasn’t until the beeping of him commlink that you both realized how late it was.
“Stang! It’s 1130! Fox is gonna kill me!”
“Kriff! I’m sorry Hound!”
“S’alright! Any punishment I get will be worth it.” The impish wink he shot you nearly melted you faster than the lava flows of Mustafar. “I’ll escort you home. A pretty lady shouldn’t be walking home in the middle of the night.”
He pulled his helmet on and waited patiently as you completed all of the closing tasks before guiding you out the door with a hand that only just ghosted the small of your back. The late night breeze cooled your cheeks that burned hot by just his presence. You found yourself glancing at him and staring just seconds too long. Long enough for him to catch you. You couldn’t see his expression behind the visor of his helmet but the light bounce to his shoulders had you assuming he was chuckling. The conversation in the shop was easy but now you were the only two walking through the little Coruscant neighborhood. The intimacy of walking so close that your hands brushed each other left you wanting for words. You wanted him to know. To know how you felt. You were dying to paint a masterpiece of your feelings on his very soul. And that thought terrified you.
You were so wrapped up in your thoughts you almost missed your apartment, stumbling clumsily to a stop. “This is me.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, disappointed that you’d wasted your time with him.
“Hmm.” He shifted his weight from leg to leg, tapping the toes of his boots on the ferrocrete.
“I’ll…see you around I guess? Thank you for walking with me. And spending the evening with me. I hope you don’t get in trouble for it.”
He pulled his helmet off, shaking his unkempt curls loose. He pressed a hand to the wall behind you, partially caging you in. His eyes locked on yours, holding your gaze with a cocked eyebrow and a smile that was far too alluring. Your eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips, swallowing thickly.
“Don’t worry ‘bout me, princess. I’m the baby brother. Pretty sure I could shoot the chancellor himself and my brothers would cover for me.”
You giggled, instinctively pressing a hand to his chest plate.
Glancing down at your hand and then back at your lips, he smirked, leaning in and stopping just short of your mouth, allowing his breath to fan across your lips. “There is one more thing though, before I get back to patrol duty. Been on my mind all evening.”
“What’s that?” Your breath was shaky as you instinctively leaned closer.
He closed the space between you, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and chaste while his hand remained anchored to the wall behind you. As he pulled back he allowed his eyes to travel along every inch of you, unable to conceptualize the euphoria he was wading through. You pulled him back, firmly this time. Your tongue teased his bottom lip, seeking entrance which he happily permitted. You swallowed his moan as his hand drifted to your cheek in soft caressing strokes.
When you finally separated, both awash in the glow of the evening and chests heaving heavy breaths, he spoke again. “I get off duty at 0600. I’ll be back and I’m taking you for caf.”
“Charged to the GAR?”
“If we talk about training Grizzer, I can write it off as a work expense.” He gave a cheeky grin.
“And what if I want to talk about you?” You cooed softly, tracing the outline of his chest plate.
“I can still tell Fox it was a work expense. Like I said, I’m the favorite. I’ll see you in the morning, mesh’la.” He slipped his helmet back on and started to leave.
He paused and spun back on his heel, lifting his helmet once more. He grabbed your hand and pressed one final kiss to it before jogging back toward his patrol route.
You’d never gotten ready for bed so quickly. But the sooner you fell asleep, the sooner you’d be seeing Hound again; an event that couldn’t happen soon enough. He was, after all, the sweetest constant you’d ever known.
Tumblr media
156 notes · View notes
mmst4rz · 2 years ago
Text
'a change of mind'
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"FUCKED ME SO GOOD I ALMOST SAID 'I LOVE YOU'."
about. public safety, special division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, being obligated to go, you went, but left with someone you yearned yet loathed, aki hayakawa.
pairing. toxic!aki hayakawa x fem-bodied!reader
genre. fic, explicit, angst (maybe)
things to note. toxicity (duh), nsfw themes but no smut, reader is delusional asf, drinking, h*meno and m*kima, mentions of canon typical violence, implied dubcon.
🎧 : normal fucking rockwell, lana del rey
mm's note. i was literally watching an aki edit with 'les' by childish gambino and i was like...toxic aki. (lets be fr he wouldn't ACC be toxic)
Tumblr media
Tokyo Special Division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, inviting everyone out for drinks. Originally, you had planned not to attend it to avoid him, but from Ms. Makima's orders, 'every devil hunter in the division must attend to get to know one another.'; which you found pointless because it was more than likely that most of them would be dead and gone in weeks' time. you slipped on your work pants, deep in thought. You knew you would see Aki Hayakawa there, after all he was one of the 'most trusted' devil hunters in the division and was even apart of Makima's 'special squad'.
You and Aki went years back, knowing him when he first joined public safety and when he had his hair short. Hell, even knowing him before he started his smoking habit. He was much more pure back then, despite watching his family flash before his eyes, he still had that glint of innocence reflecting off of his midnight eyes. Now he was gloomy, uninterested in everything around him besides his reason to strive, to dedicate his life to destroying the Gun Devil once and for all. His personality dimmed as well as his eyes, always staying lidded with a stern facade to hide the trauma from his cold past. After all, working in public safety, you were bound to lose your spark of clarity.
;;
To put it simply, you and Aki had an unprofessional relationship, starting out with light flirting, to late-night drinks at the best bars, to seeking out each other for comfort when work got too intense, looking for a stress reliever to wash all the horrid thoughts away. At first, he showed much love and care when you started linking, cooking breakfast for you before work, or running a bath with you while massaging your tense shoulders from the night before. He typically wouldn't do this for a link-up but he thought he cared about you more than others, and you did too.
Time went on, and he lost his desire for you, just wanting a quick fuck, not caring about your well-being as before. Now, the night typically would end with Aki shuffling to put on his clothes and leaving without a word nor a glance of acknowledgment while drawing a cigarette from his back pocket. As much as this sent warnings to avoid him in your head, you couldn't help but still be drawn to his deep midnight hair and his aura, heart yearning for more than just sex.
Aki eventually stopped responding to your advances, he ignored your late-night texts at 11pm or later, he ignored you as you tried to talk to him as he walked by, and he acted as if you were mere strangers. The devil hunter, found himself around Makima more, discussing his daily report of the latest devil to be slaughtered. Aki also found himself accompanying Himeno, taking a lengthy smoke break as she cracked some jokes to pass the time. You buttoned up your blouse more agitated than before, grimacing at the thought, shaking your head at the thought of him whispering how good you felt around him as he sunk into you, it was in the past, he didn't care like you thought he did. You slipped on your shoes before grabbing your keys, phone, and wallet and walking out the door.
;;
You walk inside, the bell clinging as you pushed the door open to one of the most familiar bars in Tokyo, the scent of alcohol charring your nostrils, leading to eyes wandering to your figure. "There she goes!" Himeno beamed as she saw you head toward the area the devil hunters resided. "Hey," you say in a neutral tone, feeling those dark eyes of his glance at you. You refused to meet his eyes, refused to fall deeper into the deep sea they withheld. "Glad you could join us," Makima says, her head resting against her palm. "Glad I could make it." you smile slightly, a lie. You sat down on the cushion between Himeno and presumably, a new devil hunter. "You can order what you'd like, the bill will be taken care of by me," Makima states as she takes a sip of her beverage. "Thank you Ms. Makima," you hum gratefully as you placed an order for your desired drink. A multitude of conversations was erupting amongst everyone at the table until Himeno slurred out, "Wait a minute, where the hell is Fushi's rookie at?" "Unfortunately, they were killed yesterday," Fushi responded. The scared faces of the rookies almost made you feel bad for them, but what could they expect? Your drink finally came out, taking a slow sip, savoring the burn it provided to your tastebuds.
The night grew older, the sun setting behind the clouds, nearly everyone was tipsy, including yourself. Some had even gone home already including Himeno as well as a new recruit named Denji. "Can we talk, outside." Aki said, clearly directing it at you. It sounded like a command and as if it was not a question. Avoiding causing a scene, you stood up, smoothing out your pants, and walked outside, him following behind you. "what do you want Hayakawa?" you glare at him, you put on a front as if you didn't care about Aki ignoring you, in reality, you wanted him back in your small apartment, laying beside you as the sun shone through the blinds, trying to sneak a few more minutes in bed before you both had to get ready for work. you attempted to avoid him to the best of your ability, which thankfully wasn't hard to do. The burning embarrassment of being let down hurt more than you'd like. The only time you had to come face to face with him is when you were paired up for missions, which in itself, was rare. Though you were not in the best state of mind at the moment, you still had enough consciousness not to tell him how you truly felt.
"You wanna come home with me?" He said, pulling out a cigarette, as well as his lighter. "For what?" you already knew the answer, but you wanted to believe differently. "To fuck, what else?" he said, putting the cigarette between his lips you wanted to kiss oh so bad. He lit the cigarette, slipping the lighter back into his back pocket, taking a deep inhale. "seriously? after ignoring me for months, you ask to fuck?" he was unbelievable. "Yea." was all Aki said, short and simple, how he preferred things. "I'm not going home with you." another lie. "we'll see" he grinned slightly, looking up at the now midnight blue sky, he didn't believe you for a second, he knew how tonight would end. You walked back into the bar, your mind racing as you thought with your brain and heart. Your heart yearned for him and his sweet touch, yet your mind was telling you to ignore him, he just wanted you for your body. you sat back down at the table where only 4 of your coworkers were left. "what happened?" one of them asked, earning a nudge from another, clearly perceiving it wasn't anything good. "nothing." you said, all you wanted to do was drink your thoughts away.
;;
Several drinks later you were spent, the sting of the booze did not help with your thoughts, just made them worse. You down the last of your drink, grabbed your things, and slurred out. "imma head home." Hearing a few words of acknowledgment from the devil hunters, you swayed out the door meeting those same midnight-blue eyes of his. "headin' home?" Aki said, puffing out a cloud of smoke. "mmhm..." you hummed out. "Let me take you there, yeah?" he said, flicking out his cigarette onto the sidewalk and crushing it under his foot.
You let him wrap his arm around your shoulder, leaning into it, cherishing it, because it didn't matter to you at that moment how long he would be there, you would cherish him as if it was the last time you'd see him, maybe it would be the last, who knew when he had a change of mind again.
Tumblr media
BACK TO NAV. | © MMST4RZ 2023. please do not repost, modify, copy, use or translate my works on any platform.
Tumblr media
73 notes · View notes
kimakento · 1 month ago
Text
finally releasing my first born into the world…… make sure to treat it well
HE PLAYS BASS
Tumblr media
synopsis: after your last relationship, you thought you would never be able to find love. but love comes in strange forms, and one of those forms is somehow your band’s bassist, kimata syoya. ⌙ 15.1k
pairing: bassist!kimata syoya x vocalist!fem!reader
genre: fluff + angst + slice of life
tags: band!au, non-idol!au, lots of pining, reader’s slightly younger than syoya, the band’s a family, bandmates to lovers, everyone is very confused, very messy so no judging pls, the lcu is present (lapone cinematic universe), ik nothing about bands/instruments so take everything with a grain of salt
warnings: language, heavy miscommunication, slightly suggestive, mentions of toxic r/s, scenes of lashing out, use of rihito as a plot device (sorry), jealousy
author’s note: yet another beabadoobee inspired fic, lets all act surprised… it’s a long one so please enjoy this self indulgent ass oneshot !!! this is my gift to jams for the new years !
Tumblr media
songwriting’s always just come natural to you. it was the thing you enjoyed most; conveying your heart and soul through your lyrics. sometimes, joy flowed through your pen as you jotted down all your thoughts, and in rare occurrences, it was yearning. but all you could understand was that it was your escape from reality.
and so you created a band with some of your other friends. main vocals were your position, miu was on guitar with junki, koshin, the youngest, had the keyboard, syoya was the band’s bassist; and your dignified drummer position belonged to keigo. but of course you couldn’t forget your self-proclaimed ‘band manager’ — or so he says — sano yudai, who exuded a sense of recklessness yet somehow possessed a calm character at times.
the band actually scouted koshin after hearing him play piano and singing at a local open-stage cafe, where you all were baffled at his raw talent. the boy had fit the band’s concept perfectly, definitely a welcomed addition.
meanwhile, at junki’s desk, you exasperatedly covered your face. the words seemed to stubbornly refuse to etch themselves onto the infuriatingly blank page of your notebook. for context, only hours ago, inspiration had bloomed in your mind. and you couldn’t wait to note it all down. so there you were, sprawled out on the guitarist’s bed and drowning in self-pity.
for you, writer’s block used to be something you never thought you would ever experienced; almost a fairytale.
minutes later, a knock rang out from behind the door. and as you softly answered, it creaked open to show syoya standing animatedly with his eyes fixed on you. the man stepped through the frame and made his way to you after shortly shutting the door. taking a seat on the bed, his gaze alternated between the notebook on your stomach and the annoyed look that was plastered on your expression.
“what’s wrong?” syoya broke the silence.
fiddling with the hem of your shirt, you answered without meeting his concern-filled eyes.
“it’s just—” a heavy sigh escaped your lips. “i can’t write. like, all the ideas are there but i just can’t seem to write them down. i don’t know where all my inspiration has gone.”
you shifted from your position and sat up, hands covering your face.
“don’t push yourself too hard, nothing’s going to get done if you do that. you’re one of the best songwriters i’ve ever seen — if not the best. it’ll come to you.”
“ thank you, syoya. i appreciate it. you know, it’s a huge compliment coming from someone as talented as you.”
his hand rested on your shoulder. “no worries! it’s all true.”
for the first time then, you tilted your head up, observing the features of the bassist before shooting him a knowing smile.
as the whole band were over at junki’s to chill, the door flew open and junki rushed in the room.
“guys, yudai’s told us that he’s got some big news!”
“what?” you both questioned at the same time.
“there’s no time for questions! just come down now!” he frantically gestured for the two of you to follow him downstairs.
the other members were settled across the living room with yudai standing proudly in the centre, a smug grin on his face. the man crossed his arms, remarking swiftly.
“so, you guys took your time.”
“oh, fuck off.” you replied quickly before taking a seat on the couch and syoya plopping down next to you.
yudai chirped up again. “now we’re all gathered, i have amazing news for our band.”
“with all this band talk, you’d think he was actually managing us.” keigo murmured across from you, prompting fits of laughter and giggles from a majority of the members.
“hey! that’s not a very nice thing to say.” an expression of faux anger formed on the band manager’s face before he continued. “i was able to get us a place for rehearsal. it’s not too far from here, but you guys won’t have to keep on doing all that shit in my garage or whatever. that means no more sound complaints, yay!”
“wait, is this a prank or what? is this actually true?” miu questioned warily.
“no? it was surprisingly quite inexpensive, to be honest.” the man replied.
all of you cheered before rushing to embrace the man in a tight hug, expressing your gratitude. it was no secret that it was a collective wish to have a space dedicated for rehearsal. you all took the band seriously and that was the first step. the second was to make it; hopefully getting a music label to to sign you. but that could come later.
junki — who’d previously been quiet — shouted randomly, which prompted a majority of you to flinch.
“when can we go to check it out?” the man asked enthusiastically, clinging onto koshin’s wrist.
yudai hummed. “probably tomorrow..? if you’re all free that is.”
in unison, you all nodded in thought.
while syoya and keigo conversed animatedly off to the corner of the room, the other three men cracked jokes, laughing a little too loudly for your liking — namely junki and yudai guffawing, while koshin watched in awe of their stupid actions.
miu pulled you aside, a huge smile plastered her face. “can you believe that he’s actually managed to get us a place? for once, yudai’s proved that he’s capable of using his brain!”
“do you really hate him that much? you both are like animals, always fighting, i swear.” you countered, failing to suppress your laughter.
“he ate my yogurt the other day, so yes!” nudging her gently, you tutted at her answer before shaking your head in disappointment. it was always cat and mouse between them; typical miu and yudai.
before the girl in front of you could whine any further, said man confirmed the time you were all supposed to gather to move everything in.
━━━━━━━━━
when yudai claimed that the place was ‘surprisingly inexpensive’ you certainly didn’t consider a real rehearsal studio? your jaw dropped as you fumbled your phone to recheck the address that was sent to you by the band manager. it was… right? the building was furbished neatly, with an elegant exterior. you knew yudai was rich but not this rich; there’d be no way he was able to afford something like that.
the area surrounding the studio was tranquil, there wasn’t too much hustle and bustle around the area, making it perfect for band practice.
you turned to the other members, mirroring their own shocked expressions.
“is he crazy?” junki quipped.
“must be. there’s no way.” keigo added.
miu cleared her throat. “where the fuck is he anyways?”
the ringing tone only sounded out as you tapped impatiently, bringing your phone to your ear. “syoya told me that he and koshin would ride with yudai.”
just as you finished your sentence, a white jeep — specifically yudai’s white jeep — had rolled past you and parked a few feet away. the three men — or boys as miu would say — hopped out, casually strolling towards you.
you noticed something different about the bassist headed towards your group of four. his hair was styled? the thick strands held a middle part, a part of his forehead showing. it looked good on him. he looked good.
what? you snapped out of your thoughts as yudai twirled a set of keys around his finger.
“hope i didn’t keep y’all waiting long.” a smug grin tugged at his lips, his dimples making an appearance. he swooshed the strands of hair out of his eyes dramatically before holding out his arms as he passed you, his poise reminding you as that of a bodyguard. “stand back!”
koshin and miu rolled their eyes dismissively as junki and keigo burst out laughing, seemingly entertained with his antics. amidst the ruckus, syoya made his way to your side.
“hey.”
“hi.” you replied. “how was the drive here?”
“it was nice—“
the words slipped out. “by the way, i like what you did with your hair. it suits you.” a small smile formed on your features as you noticed the maroon colour that painted his cheeks.
“ah… thank you?” he grinned sheepishly, the response sounding more like a question.
for someone that was so cool on stage, he was really so awkward off it. it was cute.
both of you had become so caught up that you hadn’t noticed that the rest had already unlocked the doors and begun exploring the studio. with a call of both of your names, you rushed in quickly without a second word. your previous thoughts were correct, the studio was the real deal. there were already instruments waiting there for you; yudai had even gone through the trouble of bringing some of your amps too. there were two couches at the corners; beanbags too. further down, you could make out what was to be a recording booth?
“sano yudai. is that a—“ you looked over at him in pure shock.
“a recording booth, yes!”
your jaw dropped as you charged towards him, wrapping him in a tight embrace.
“you’re definitely my favourite person now. are you kidding, is this even real?”
the other five members cooed at your reaction as the man struggled out of your bear grip.
“i know you’ve been wanting your own place to.. you know, create music. you do so much for the band, basically writing all the music and put so much into it. you really deserved it.”
you could almost feel the tears as you waved your hands about in dismissal and walked into the studio. it wasn’t too large, just comfortable enough for two or three at a time, it felt so homely to you. this was really the only thing you’ve ever really wished for.
you were going to create so many memories here.
it felt so surreal; nothing else could compare. in a daze, you walked towards the rest of the group. “someone pinch me, i think i’m dreaming.” but the feeling of someone actually pinching you caused you to let out a loud yelp in pain. “i was joking. come on, keigo! that wasn’t funny.”
“but you asked someone to pinch you…” he countered.
syoya interrupted. “yeah man, you should stop.”
“you always take her side, that’s no fair.” keigo huffed to himself in annoyance.
when your gaze flickered to his figure, you noticed his eyes were already on you to which you tilted your head in question. an awkward chuckle emerged from his throat and syoya couldn’t help but smile at your reaction.
you let out groan, “i’m not going to let someone like keigo ruin the best day of my life. i’ll just appreciate yudai!” a ‘hey!’ in annoyance left the drummer’s mouth as he processed your words towards him.
padding softly around the studio, you admired the interior with a big smile on your face. it was perfect. the aura that radiated off the building accommodated the serious energy of the band. slowly, the rest of the member’s had gathered at the lounging area of the studio. one by one, you all thanked yudai, who you could tell was enjoying it to the fullest. it’s not everyday that the band manager was serenaded with flattery instead of being the target of relentless teasing and insults.
“it’s just what i do. no need to thank me.” he announced smugly.
“you can almost see how much bigger his head’s gotten. we better stop with the compliments.” the drummer pointed out.
miu stepped in, defusing the situation. “whatever. since we’ve gotten our practice place sorted out. what’s left now is our final dream—“
“being signed to a record label!” junki’s voice boomed in excitement.
“thanks for cutting me off so kindly, junki.” the guitarist dejected.
“of course, you’re welcome!”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
kimata syoya thought you were pretty.
from the first moment his eyes met yours, they’d lured him to be bewitched. that junki really should’ve warned him about it, was his thought at first. the man would’ve cleaned up a bit before meeting the band for the first time.
there you were on the couch, a notebook sprawled across your lap, a pen caught between your teeth whilst looking frustrated. the bassist had never been competent at talking to girls, even though he was loud and sometimes bubbly, syoya could not find it in himself. especially pretty ones like you.
and your voice. if syoya wasn’t infatuated when he first noticed you, he definitely was when he heard you sing.
syoya thought you were so pretty, it hurt.
no, it ached.
and to make things worse, he’d joined the band by the time you had started to learn guitar, so he tried his best to offer assistance. but it certainly wasn’t healthy how his heart would practically swell double in size whenever you’d directly ask him for guidance.
despite all that, syoya’s only hope was that you thought he was pretty too.
the man had observed your personality quite a bit. he’d noticed how you would sometimes baby and tease koshin even though you were only a few years older, how you’d willingly consult with junki about your original songs, how you’d constantly gossip cheerfully with miu; syoya could tell how much you loved the band.
with you, of course you thought syoya was pretty too. though unlike him, ‘in a friendly way! because you and syoya were both just friends.’ repeated like a mantra in your mind.
but now, quite frankly, something had changed. your body had suddenly become more alert whenever he was in the vicinity. that unpleasant churning in your stomach only amplified, creating more discomfort when around him. it was reminiscent of the feeling of nervousness, but ten times worse.
there was something seriously wrong with you.
it wasn’t noticeable at first, but somehow gradually shifted to becoming unbearable. the feeling was partially unfamiliar — not new, but an emotion you yearned to feel again.
no one could disagree that you’ve always put up a front, avoiding situations that would inevitably leave you vulnerable. specifically love. that route wasn’t particularly unfamiliar to you. you knew it all too well. and you hated it. so much to the point you would rip your own heart to never feel it again out if you could.
the route known as rihito. the man who’d assisted with your groceries one random day, with a big grin plastered his face. it was cute, really. so you decided to give it a try with the somehow charming bassist of the random underground band called ini.
just for it to ruin you.
getting with the only girl he knew was low; even worse how it was one of your childhood friends. maybe if ikezaki rihito bothered to notice just how much effort you put into the relationship; making sure to call him everyday, sending good morning texts, planning dates, turning up to all his shows in support of him, waving some stupid banner with his name in full.
that was over a year ago. yet the mental scars were ever fresh in your mind, still beckoning you to reminisce once in a while. sometimes you’d act on the urge to coop up in your room of your shared apartment with miu and sob in your bed as she’d knock quietly, asking if you’d eaten yet or how you were feeling. whenever reminded of his existence, your heart would constrict.
being totally transparent, you had despised the hold he still had on you. how even the letters of his name used to cause you distress.
but there’d been this constant thought that bugged you; it was your fault. rihito at the start compared to towards the end of the relationship was just so… different.
then, you could only wonder; where was the sweet man you once knew? did he become bored of you?
however, you were better now. he no longer plagued your mind and slowly seeped away from your memory. his name was completely foreign to your lips.
what replaced the unwelcomed memory was the enigma known as kimata syoya.
“[name]!”
a voice cut through your train of thought. jolting up from your seat at the call of your name, you were met with yudai’s eyes that flashed with confusion. he’d asked you to meet at your local cafe so abruptly that it had scared you.
“were you even listening?” his eyes raked over the features of your face, noting your zoned out expression and the frown on your lips. “you look out of it.”
you shook your head. “i’m fine. what were you saying?”
“oh yeah! recently, i’ve been seeing posters all around asking for an opening act for that one music festival, harmony fest.”
“no way!” a gasp left your mouth as your eyes widened.
“so, i was thinking we could, you know, secure that spot?”
in disbelief, you swirled around the coffee that was in your cup, watching the ripples intensify the more you swished.
“you’re crazy,” you paused. “totally the kind of crazy we need.”
your manager grinned widely and stuffed the remains of cake on his plate into his mouth, the sudden action making you coo internally. once finished, he jumped up, startling you once again.
“let’s go!” spinning on his heel, he’d already began to make his way outside.
furrowing your brows, you gathered your belongings and rushed after him. there was a nagging excitement bubbling in your heart. there’d be no way your band would be chosen to open for the harmony fest, right?
only minutes later, you found yourself standing in front of a tall, sleek building at yudai’s side. the nerves had gotten to you and made you more antsy than usual. you kept telling yourself; you guys had to seize the opportunity, of course people would only become more curious about the band if you attended an anticipated music festival with other known artists.
wiping your clammy hands on the sides of your cardigan, you exhaled heavily before stepping inside with the man next to you. the white marble interior paired with the soft music playing in the back raised the ambience of the building, putting you at ease. a few metres ahead of you, a large desk lay, with people — secretaries and receptionists, you figured — occupying the seats, busy like bees, taking phone calls and furiously scribbling things down.
the setting caused you to peer around in awe as you walked up to the front. lazily, you watched as your manager exchanged words animatedly with the secretary, only snapping back when he told you to wait for him.
“i’ll be back. just gonna go and smooth things out.” yudai said nonchalantly.
“hmm, okay.” you made your way to the couch across from you, taking a seat and occupying yourself with your phone to try to pass the time. somewhere along the way, bored of your phone; you observed the pedestrians outside. their busy nature calmed you.
as you sat in the hallway, muffled voices of yudai and an unknown man drifted towards you, creating a sense of curiosity. you strained to catch every word, your forehead creasing when you heard the man say, “say hello to your father for me.”
“of course! i can’t begin to express my thanks.” yudai’s tone had this odd professional flair to it.
you knew yudai extremely well, but the mention of his father raised a thousand questions. why was this stranger talking to him about his father? what exactly did he mean? as the footsteps grew louder, you instinctively slumped back into your seat. your eyes widen as you recognise the man next to yudai when they walk towards you; a very famous music label manager. as you scramble to bow, the man lets out an airy chuckle dismissing you playfully.
“i’ll be on my way now, it was nice of you to stop by yudai and miss…” he gave yudai’s back a light slap.
“uhh, [name]!” you introduced yourself.
“miss [name]. i’ve heard good things about your talent from this young man over here, i can’t wait to see your performance.”
the statement caught you off guard, causing your pupils to widen as you accepted the offer to shake his hand enthusiastically. after retracting your hand, you bowed again as he began to walk away from you, leaving your jaw agape.
“you should close your mouth or you’ll catch flies.” your manager giggled beside you.
“there is no way your ass knows him,” your voice was shaky with shock. “bro, you must be some sort of superhero! this is so crazy.”
“save the flattery for until we tell the others, [name].” yudai remarked, a lazy smirk playing on his lips.
and that, you did.
as soon as you all met up at the studio, you stayed silent.
shaking your hands in a jazz-hands motion, you announced loudly. “guess who’s performing at harmony fest?”
keigo was the first to react, shouting in disbelief; the others following closely behind.
harmony fest was a big event for any and al artists in your area. your bandmates all crowded around you until you broke it up.
“it’s all cause of our favourite rich kid yudai, of course.”
the man walked forward, reaching his arms out. “now you guys can hit me with all the compliments.”
“he is so weird.” miu muttered under her breath. you nudged her side, prompting her to stop herself. “…such a cool guy!”
“miu not bullying me for once?” yudai asked sarcastically. “i like this side of you way more!”
“oh shu— ow! i mean, sure!”
“i guess nepotism has its benefits.” junki added. “let’s go out tonight and celebrate our one and only nepo baby.”
“that’s more like it.” yudai nodded. “who’s paying?”
everyone looked at him.
“oh.” he began “but that’s not fair, i thought i was being celebrated.”
“tough.” it was miu’s turn to snort.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
you dropped your face into your hands, exasperated; the acoustic guitar laid forgotten in your lap. confusion etched your expression as you squeezed your eyes shut in an attempt to gather your thoughts. why weren’t the ideas just flowing from your head? in your brain, the chords were there, the lyrics were already written, the idea was perfectly thought out. frankly, you didn’t know what exactly was wrong with you.
previous supportive comments from your members flooded your mind. maybe all you had to do was think positively? one peculiar thing flashed in your mind. a bassist, the band’s bassist; your bassist— kimata syoya. words and thoughts alike failed you, there was no reason for you to be deep in thought over him.
you groaned aloud for what seemed like the thousandth time. why did songwriting have to be so impossible sometimes?
relaxing into your chair, you let your eyes scan the room. the black, sound-proofed walls and the microphone stand behind the glass panel that was in front of you. you imagined yourself behind it, diligently singing into the mic; searching far and wide for the right note, the right pitch, the right you. it might’ve been a peculiar image to others, but it certainly wasn’t to you. music was your life. and it was what brought a smile to your face and bubbled determination in your heart.
tapping the guitar, you hummed in newfound motivation. you faced the booth, peering down. fingers danced along the strings as you began strumming softly, singing along.
“hey, won’t you call me back? ‘cause i’ve been waiting for a text back. it hurts my brain.” taking a short breath, you continued, your voice conveying just how vulnerable you felt. “this guy who plays bass.” as the verse came to a close, you heard a loud twang. fuck. you had played the wrong chord.
“that’s the wrong chord. you were totally off-key.” a voice cut in, causing you to turn around, following the voice.
in return, a weak smile tugged at your lips. “as if didn’t know that. but of course, i need the great guitar expert kimata syoya to tell me.”
from the doorframe, he chuckled before taking a seat in the chair next to you; manoeuvring it so that he was in your direct line of view.
“here. this fret.” his voice was like a gentle melody, cascading onto your ears while he placed his finger on yours, directing it to the right chord on the very-much forgotten guitar. as he leaned towards you, the close proximity caused you to hold your breath in anticipation whilst your gaze zeroed in on the mole just below his lips. “try it again.”
you nodded, attempting to follow the instruction — only failing embarrassingly when your finger misses the chord a second time; the twang once again strewn in the atmosphere.
the bassist shook his head, before giggling. yet, you couldn’t help but be glued to the crinkles of his eyes.
heaving himself up from the seat, syoya swerved around your chair; only resting his hands on your shoulder when you tried to turn around and follow him.
“stop slouching over your guitar, you’re going to become a hunchback in only a few months at this rate.” he remarked before peering over your shoulder and enveloping his somehow-warm hands on top of yours, once again instructing you to place the instrument comfortably. the scent of his cologne reaching your senses caused you to notice just how close you were. you froze as his chin brushed your shoulder; only millimetres away from resting upon it. his finger tapped the strings of your guitar once more.
“this chord, right here.” the bassist tapped it once again before continuing. “might be a little hard for you to reach it since your hands are so small.”
“syoya.” you deadpanned. “pretty sure that this doesn’t even involve hand size. and your hand is like a nanometre bigger — actually if anything they’re the exact same size so i don’t want to hear that coming from you.”
the man only hummed in response, ushering you to quickly quieten down. his figure loomed over you, a stark reminder of the proximity between you both.
“now play that chord, and hold this fret with your index and middle.”
nodding along, you attempted it again and was met with a positive result. in blind joy, you bounced out your chair and engulfed syoya in a hug, threading your arms around his neck after setting down the guitar. there was a split moment of awkward hesitation from him, his arms faltered before coming to rest around your back. frankly, he didn’t what to do or feel; it felt as if his heart was about to beat out his chest.
“thank you, syoya. i thought i’d never get it.”
every syllable spoken fanned his shoulder blade as you practically nestled your face further into him.
briskly, you pulled back, not wanting to make him uncomfortable with the sudden initiation of skin-ship. a second of understanding waved through the bassist before he leaned forward; bringing a small moment of hesitation before his lips found yours. syoya reached for you slowly, and with a small measure of uncertainty before deepening the kiss — almost a silent plead for permission. and you answered by cupping his jaw gently, revelling in the serenity of the moment. it felt just right. you’d wanted this to last forever, just you and syoya together, kissing, his lips on yours, hand on your hip and the other trailing down your torso – just the two of you in the moment and nothing else.
your heart raced as the seconds passed, wanting out of your chest. it felt like pure joy.
all that filled your consciousness was him as you gripped him tighter, your need growing. simply put, it was two people caught up in chasing their desires.
however, something interrupted those desires. a sliver of doubt buzzed in your mind. what if he was just using you? like rihito? you weren’t sure what to believe; your thoughts failed you. the ambiguity of your feelings caused your head to reel, and you didn’t want to rush into anything too soon.
but feelings? that was something big, that was something too tangible for someone like you. that was real. and you didn’t do real. not like that.
the exchange between you was careful — scared even, but a reminder of your last relationship flashed in your mind.
the negative thoughts only hindered when the man placed his hand over yours which was still on his cheek. in one swift move, he moved from you, his gaze scanning yours. a frown turned at his mouth as a glint of regret flashed your expression.
you didn’t like him like he liked you.
you didn’t like him at all.
“[name]?” a voice sounded out from behind the recording studio’s door.
“sorry, i’m just going to… go. fuck, i didn’t mean to do that.” syoya breathed out, clearly shaken. the handle turned slowly, the voice calling your name once again. “sorry again.”
you hated the way he hid from you. you wanted to tell syoya, you didn’t regret him, you weren’t able to. it. but you didn’t know what you were feeling.
the door opened, revealing an annoyed miu, but also served as an exit to a visibly troubled syoya.
“what’s that about?” the woman points out with a hint of curiosity in her tone.
sitting back down onto your chair, you bring your knees to yourself and drop your head onto them in self-pity. for a fleeting moment, your mind replayed the scene of his lips on yours, confusing you even further.
you let out yet another groan. “i hate this.”
you’ve known syoya for a while now, since the band was formed which was eight months to be exact. (he was described by junki as being unbelievably competent at playing both bass and guitar, but the band only required a bassist then.) the man first struck you as funny and sort of… loud. but you found it quite strange how his voice would instantaneously drop to a hushed whisper whenever in conversation with you.
at first, he interested you. who was this playful man that carried the light atmosphere with horrible dad jokes and silly antics? not only that, but he was cute. too cute for his own good. and in no way was syoya not good looking — not that looks were the only factor that dictated attraction — he was, but paired with his personality he just seemed to draw you in.
you were clingy sometimes, but whenever the man would even brush against you for a split moment there was almost a spark between you, causing your heart to run a million beats per second.
miu took a seat on the chair next to you, still left wondering why the bassist had left in such a hurry. you tilted your head, locking your eyes on hers.
“miu,”
she hummed in response to the call of her name.
“how do you know if you… actually like someone?” you began, your voice almost unheard by the end of the sentence.
“[name]…” there was an indescribable expression playing on her features. concern? curiosity? you didn’t know anymore. “after him, i don’t think you’re ready for a relationship just yet.”
miu knew. she recognised the dreamy look that was plastered all over your countenance. and she could also remember.
remember how vulnerable you became after that guy used you. remember how you spent days; weeks cooped up in your room, doing god knows what. remember how the tears just kept falling and falling, barely allowing even her to breathe. she would never forget it. miu wasn’t able to.
sakurai miu didn’t want you to experience that again. right when you had gotten over it.
no one else in the band knew, but miu had been your best friend for years.
“i don’t know. i’m just not sure if i can differentiate between if i like him or just the idea of him.” the confusion made you want to bang your head against the wall. “and i can’t help but think he’ll turn out like rihito in the long run.”
but you couldn’t help it; replaying the scene mentally. why would he do that? leaving you vulnerable and worried about something he initiated? that was a low thing to do.
“don’t say that.” the woman’s voice was soft as her arms grabbed the armrest of your chair, pulling you closer. “that man doesn’t deserve even the slightest of your brainpower.”
the frown on your mouth as your finger brushed against your lips caused her to rattle your chair, shaking you. “cheer up! if you keep dwelling on the past, it’ll only make you more sad.” miu quipped. “who’s this guy you’re talking about? do i know him?”
“not really sure if i should i answer that.”
“come on! please?”
a sigh left your mouth. “fine. you do. but that’s all i’m telling you.”
“wait, then he’s apart of the band.”
“what? no he isn’t.”
“you don’t talk to any men outside of the ones in the band.”
“oh.” you bitterly agreed. “that’s actually true…why is that true?”
appearing in deep thought, miu tapped her chin. “well i know for a fact it isn’t keigo or koshin. keigo’s too much of an ass for anyone to like him; a waste of good looks. i would think junki, but you two have too much of a sister-brother dynamic. yudai’s just weird. so that just leaves...” she trails off.
“syoya?” your eyes widened at the mention of his name which you tried to masked quickly. much to your avail, the guitarist had already caught on. “you like him? kimata syoya? our bassist?”
“uhh no.” you lied rather unconvincingly.
“it is him! it has to be!” she jumped out her seat, nearly pouncing on you. “why didn’t you tell me before?”
“because,” waving your hands in the air, you tried to defuse the seemingly irritated woman. in your defence, an angry miu was a scary miu. “i don’t even like him like that. it’s just really confusing.”
“yeah, whatever. i’ve always thought he’d taken too much of a liking towards you.” she squinted her eyes in disapproval.
“the fuck is that supposed to mean?” the statement was simply too incredulous to believe.
a heavy sigh was the only response you received. “that he likes you? it should’ve been obvious.”
“well, how was i supposed to know? someone who likes another person wouldn’t kiss them and then run away all in the span of a minute.” the words had already slipped out long before you could stop yourself. you truly couldn’t understand syoya.
“he kissed you?” miu gasped. “no fucking way.”
“yes way! but don’t forget about the part where i mentioned he ran away.”
“i didn’t think he’d have the balls to.” she hummed. “but you said that you weren’t sure if you do really like him, right?”
“yeah, but it’s all just confused me even more. how the hell am i going to face him now?” you clinged into the other woman’s arm, silently begging for a solution.
“confront him? i don’t know. get off me, you’re going to pull my arm off.” miu yanked her wrist from your grip and huffed. “it’s his fault, what he did was really weird and out of character.”
you hummed in agreement, slumping back.
“you know i originally came here to see how the song was going.”
reaching over to grab your notebook, you handed it to her bitterly to which she immediately accepted and began to skim through it. the expressions that adorned her features while reading only served to create anticipation within you. did she like it?
seconds later, she raised her up from the book.
“this is amazing. are you kidding? we are totally going to get some eyes on us with this song.”
“stop flattering me.” you glanced at your watch. “its so late. we have to pack up.”
“it’s true. and yeah, you’re right.” she nodded. “but i’m so hungry.”
“we can cook up something at home.”
“no, [name].” she whined. “let’s go buy…”
“with whose money?” you said before she clung to your arm.
“yours, of course!”
“no way.”
“please?”
a heavy sigh left your lips.
the next day, you all had agreed to rehearse for the opener at the studio. being you, that meant you had to arrive earlier to get some extra practice in.
when you reached the studio, you pulled out your spare key, letting yourself in and beelining for the couch after pulling your guitar along. you’d begun aimlessly strumming the instrument, humming along a melody. the noisy jingle of keys in the door turning made you shoot up, anticipating who it was to walk through the door. and of course it had to be the last person you would’ve wanted.
syoya turned around and closing the door, clearly not excited to have noticed you. shyly, he took a few steps forward on the shiny, wooden floor.
the audacity, you thought.
somehow he’d thought it was best to turn around and get his ass out of there.
“where are you going?” the bassist winced at your harsh tone that chipped away at him.
“i forgot something.” his response was equally dry, which only seemed to fuel the anger swelling in your chest.
you laughed in disbelief at his answer. “i believe you‘ve forgotten about something else too. that explanation you owe me.” talking to a brick wall would’ve been easier. “i think it’s common knowledge to not go around kissing others and then ghost them after.”
“can you stop? it was an accident. a heat in the moment thing.” syoya didn’t believe that himself at all. ‘i like you,’ he wanted to say.
“are you serious? you can’t even look at me! these pathetic excuses you keep giving me aren’t cutting it.”
sure you couldn’t pinpoint the exact nature of your feelings for syoya, but you definitely had the decency to not confuse him in the process. if that wasn’t hard for you, why was it hard for him?
“okay.” he was running from his emotions. again.
all it took was for one word for everything to come crashing down.
“you know what, i’m so done with you. you kiss me and you’re the one sulking? just take responsibility for the situation you created.” despite being only inches away from syoya, he refused to look at you. “sort yourself out first, i don’t even want to speak about it any more. you clearly have problems.” returning to your original seat on the couch, you collected your belongings and rushed outside. the building was suffocating you — or rather being in the same room as the bassist.
animosity had somehow wedged its way into every setting you were at together; band practice, outings, shared meals and the like. over the next few days, the other members had begun to realise as well, resorting to trying to resolve the situations themselves which failed miserably. forgiveness was earned and you certainly weren’t going to give it away that easily especially to syoya.
was it even worth it? your first performance was scheduled in the next three weeks, yet there was a notable rift among everyone involved.
practice was atrocious, to say the least.
from late starts and missed sessions to several mistakes being made. everything was eating away at you, making you constantly anxious and irritated. at this rate, you didn’t think the band would even make it until the performance.
syoya still avoided you like the plague, the others had begun walking on eggshells around you, not sure when you would explode. like a ticking bomb.
that’s when the realisation hit you. you liked kimata syoya, and not in a platonic way, but romantic.
koshin, keigo, junki and miu stayed huddled up in the corner during breaks, whispering amongst each other while yudai seemed to be cheering up syoya to which made you all the more bitter. it seemed as if you were the only one truly affected.
heaving yourself up from the chair, you called out to the members, “break’s over. let’s run through the chorus again.”
“could we have a few more minutes? i think we all need it.” koshin muttered carefully.
“definitely not,” the harsh tone of your voice caught the keyboardist off guard, a look of surprise flashing on his features. “i mean — we’re the furthest thing from decent right now. myself included.” voice softer, your hands covered your face in frustration. “i just don’t think we have that liberty.”
keigo nudged miu with his elbow, signalling for her to plead with you.
“let’s just cool down for a few minutes. you included, [name]. you shouldn’t overwork yourself.” the woman persuaded, she could see how the situation affected you.
you sighed, “yeah, fine. i’m just going to go up to the balcony to take a breather.”
unbeknownst to you, a certain bass player observed you with keen eyes, guilt washing over him. syoya couldn’t help but feel it was his fault. if only he was straightforward and outspoken. the man was helpless. with his hands to his side, he only pathetically watched while you made your way to the stairs. that was until yudai broke the silence.
“go fix it.”
“but—“ syoya tried to counter.
“go.”
in faux annoyance, the man huffed before following your sudden beeline for the balcony. as his feet trudged up each step, his thoughts only wandered about your reaction. what was he to say?
talking to him was probably the last thing you wanted to do.
stepping out onto the balcony, the cold breeze nipped at the man as his gaze swept over your figure. you leaned against the railing, appearing somewhat absorbed on the scene below, where cars passed infrequently and pedestrians strolled along the pavement. your brows were knit together, still unaware of syoya’s presence.
he cleared his throat, causing you to turn your head towards him, “what do you want?” the sour look on your face paired with the venom dripping in your voice made him frown.
but that detail wasn’t what caught kimata syoya’s attention. it was how you managed to be ethereal even when angry. it took everything in him not to kiss you again.
“i’m here to apologise.”
the statement was abrupt; it was terrifying in a way.
“apologise? you’re finally going to talk to me, huh?”
“it really was a heat-of-the-moment thing. sorry if i caused any confusion, i didn’t mean to cross the line or anything, i know how much you appreciate your boundaries and personal space… and stuff.” his voice gradually became quieter as he spoke, his hand rubbing the nape of his neck sheepishly.
“yeah.” you were speechless. everything syoya had said was the opposite of what you wanted. a part of you had slightly enjoyed it. “that was such a lame thing to do.”
“i know, and believe me, i’m really sorry. had i known it would affect us — the band, i would’ve never done it.”
kimata syoya knew himself that he was a people pleaser. of course, he would blurt out whatever words in whichever sequence for a chance to see the smile that would tug at your lips whenever you were at ease.
but it never came.
you forced a small smile, masking your weary state of mind. “i’m also sorry… for overreacting. it was out of order for me to lash out at you like i did.” at that point, you weren’t sure what you were apologising for anymore, your thoughts were all jumbled up.
to you, it seemed like the bassist didn’t feel what you did. and naturally, it had to occur at the moment you had finally reconciled your feelings for him.
the awkward silence in the air forced you to focus on the muffled chatter of your band members below you. there wasn’t any exchange of words between the both of you until a few minutes later when syoya spoke up.
“so, are we okay then?”
‘okay’ was definitely not what you were experiencing.
you nod, “yeah, we’re good.”
the man threw his arms open, a sheepish grin on his face to which you raised a brow to.
“…hug?”
the you from a few weeks ago would’ve made a sarcastic remark, but now you couldn’t help but find him cute, the change in mood melting your heart.
“i think i’ll pass but thank you for the offer, i guess.” the last part came out as a giggle which prompted syoya to reach out and engulf you in a bear hug.
“i just want to make sure there are no hard feelings between us. i really value you as a friend and as an important member of the band, you’re… like the glue that holds us together, you know?” as he rested his chin on your shoulder, his breath fanned your neck which caused you to slant away slightly, hiding your face in his own shoulder.
“oh. i’m glad.” pulling away briskly, you let out a small thanks before moving towards the door of the balcony. “i think i hear miu calling for me, sorry.”
eyes followed you, syoya shocked by your sudden retreat. a part of him was saddened at the fact he wasn’t able to reveal the reason why he acted the way he did — that he’d developed feelings for you, but another part knew that he had no shot. hands covered his face, he just had to disrupt everything with acting on the choice to kiss you.
but the memory of your soft lips connecting with his made his head reel, the bassist didn’t think he’d ever wanted someone so bad, especially someone he would never get. and it only worsened at the reminder of your hands cupping his face ever so gently, the thought of your original song long forgotten as the moment intensified.
“she’s so pretty.” he mumbled to himself. “i am so fucked.”
that’s when syoya knew he would never move on.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
junki wasn’t sure what miu had meant by ‘band meeting, quick’ on the groupchat that was coincidentally made a minute before with all the members excluding you and syoya.
one by one, they’d all gathered in the living room of yudai’s apartment, as miu had told you and syoya to go out to buy snacks for the movie night soon; the opening performance was only in two weeks, to which everyone thought it best to have a day off to relax before such an important event.
as they sat in a circle, miu was the first to break the silence.
“guys, haven’t both syoya and [name] been acting weird?”
“yeah, i’ve noticed that too.” it was koshin’s turn to reply.
junki nodded his head, “they were so hot and cold and now they’re just awkward compared to before.”
yudai and keigo had been caught up in their own world, playfully hitting each other.
“can you guys listen?” miu’s voice was stern, catching the two off guard. “i think they like each other.”
“ohh! are we gonna be matchmakers or something?” the keyboardist cocked his head in question.
the woman hummed, “well i know for sure she likes syoya but i’m not sure about him.”
at the sound of both yudai and keigo guffawing, she rolled her eyes.
“what are you guys laughing about?”
“syoya definitely likes [name]. like head on heels.” keigo stifled a laugh by slapping a hand over his mouth.
“it’s ‘head over heels’, dumbass.” yudai interrupted.
“same thing. and don’t call me a dumbass, that's what you are.”
junki cleared his throat, “how do you know that?”
“he kind of told me about it,” the drummer shrugged. “but then again, it’d be obvious to any person with functioning eyes.”
“so, how do we get them to realise it…? they must be pretty stupid.” koshin muttered, seemingly deep in thought.
miu turned her focus away from the manager and drummer’s bickering match.
“our best shot is to just force them to be constantly next to one another.”
“a new mission! operation get-[name]-and-syoya-together is a go!” junki cheered loudly next to her.
a knowing smile took to miu’s face. “it had already begun when i forced them to go to buy the snacks with each other..”
“wow, you’re a smart one.” his gasp of awe only caused everyone to giggle as the woman bowed in appreciation.
fifteen minutes away from yudai’s house, you and syoya roamed around inside the market, pushing your trolley towards whichever caught your eye. the palpable tension forced the both of you to preoccupy yourselves, avoiding the awkwardness. syoya was quiet, as usual, but it wasn’t out of shyness. he was anxious. he’s leaned on the rattling trolley, observing your every move.
the other day was almost a dream. there wasn’t any pure hatred or animosity on your side towards syoya, but it was still somewhat awkward fraternising with him.
“did miu say she wanted some sweet potato? i can’t seem to remember.”
surprised at the initiation of conversation, he hummed. “pretty sure she did. so did junki, oddly.”
“junki? are you sure that’s really him? ‘my favourite drink is curry rice’ junki? never thought i’d see the day where he eats normal food…. the other day, he literally said i should try kimchi and avocado together. who the fuck even eats those two as a combo?” you giggle.
oddly enough, the conversations flowed somewhat naturally, your anxiety diminishing by the second. by twenty minutes in, your trolley was packed with snacks and random drinks, somehow the bassist had slyly slipped a ludo board into the lot, catching you off guard.
at the self-checkout, you began scanning the items, passing them to syoya for bagging.
“we’re so fucked. who has the money for that?” your jaw dropped at the total, turning to tsk at the bassist for dropping in thousands of different things in the basket.
the man wiggled his eyebrows in a comedic manner. “good thing yudai gave me his card.” he pulled out said card from his pocket — specifically a debit one with gold lining.
“i forget he’s a rich kid sometimes.”
“well, without him we would’ve been broke and practice-studio-less.”
you nodded in agreement as he tapped the card. by the time you’d returned, the living room had been set up, there were blankets all around the floor, the tv had been on stand-by while the other awaited the snacks.
“we’re back!” you exclaimed, a hoard of food nestled in your arms, syoya following behind. waddling your way towards the coffee table, a touch on your lower back caused you to jolt in surprise. fortunately, nothing fell to the ground, but you snapped your head just in time to see the man retract his hand quickly, mumbling apologies.
he bit his lip in embarrassment whilst scolding himself mentally. it happened subconsciously, shocking himself in the process. why did he even do that?
things between you and syoya were going okay. there was really no other word to describe it. everything was civil, but a flair of awkwardness in the air whenever you’d converse; harbouring feelings for your bandmate wasn’t an ideal situation to be in, and you knew anyone would agree.
while settling down, the other five members began to subtly hog the spaces, leaving you no choice but to sit next to the bassist. you glanced over at him, surprised to notice he was already gazing at you intensely. you sat down promptly, pursing your lips into a thin line as you scooted over for him to take a seat. your body betrayed you, responding to the close proximity with a flutter in your chest. this wasn’t how your day was supposed to go.
in an attempt to distract yourself, you focused your attention with the flat screen television displayed on the wall as miu occupied herself with the remote to choose a film.
“shall we watch a horror?” she turned around, smiling at the majority of nodding heads and frowned at the shake of your head. “whatever, majority rules.”
it wasn’t that you were scared of horror films per say; you definitely didn’t take to jumpscares well. in easier terms; you were easily startled. that’s why you mumbled curses under your breath before letting out a grumble and slouching back.
there was a whisper from next to you, “you’re scared of horror?”
“not scared. i just get startled…”
“so… you’re scared.” there was a knowing grin plastered all over his face and you would’ve found it cute if he wasn’t teasing you and maybe if you weren’t friendzoned just days earlier. you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.
this was going to be a long night.
throughout the duration of the movie, you tried your best to calmly watch without reacting. it slightly worked, but halfway through, there was a loud shriek resonating from the television that caused your hand to find syoya’s. and it seemed like the bassist had the same idea as his hand followed. heat crept up your cheeks and you both froze. for the rest of the time, you stayed like that, your fingers intertwined, basking in the silence from your band.
only when the movie ended did the action sink in, making you retract your wrist apologetically.
“seems like i wasn’t the only scared one,” you whispered. “i’m glad my hand could be of comfort to you.” a light giggle slipped from your lips, attempting to make light of the situation.
the expression syoya wore was priceless, his lips slightly parted and his eyes widened.
“uh…”
a loud voice cut him off. “let’s watch another movie!” junki sat up from his blanket fort on the ground in front of you.
“a rom-com this time, maybe? oh! devil wears prada. after that, we can go to bed.” you suggested, smiling after hearing hums of approval.
and maybe it wasn’t the best option for you as you felt your eyes flutter, slumber calling your name. every once in a while you caught your head nodding and shook yourself awake. unbeknownst to you, syoya observed you in his peripheral, a knowing smile gracing his face when you finally gave in, your breaths coming to a calm. you were lodged uncomfortably against the sofa’s back as you slept soundly, prompting him to lightly guide your head onto his shoulder to which you subconsciously enjoyed and nuzzled up to his body. if only the others could see how red his face was — he would be teased until the day he died.
he was definitely glad the room was dim.
the movie played until the end with everyone watching in silence. and only when the ending credited rolled did they start getting up, planning to fall asleep in any of the guest rooms in yudai’s apartment.
junki was the first to take notice of the little… predicament.
“syoya!” he whisper-shouted, careful not to wake you up but simultaneously catching the attention of the sleepy members. “what are you guys doing?”
“yeah,” miu said matter-of-factly. “it’s time to go to bed. wake [name] up, she’s rooming with me.”
“could they be more obvious?” the woman mumbled under her breath and tutted. she knew exactly what the bassist would reply with.
“here, put it on her.” she said, passing a blanket over.
“no, don’t worry about it. i’ll just wait until she wakes up.” syoya offered as he took the blanket from miu’s hand, nodding in thanks.
“but won’t you get tired?” koshin questioned.
the man shook his head again. “nah, it’s fine. really. good night guys.”
“good night.” they replied before padding away softly on the wooden floor to their respective rooms.
being left alone — well, not completely alone, you were there, on his shoulder, looking peaceful and pretty — with his thoughts, he gently pulled out his phone and scrolled away to occupy his thoughts. but he couldn’t; not when his heart was racing thousands of miles per second, when all he could think about was how close you were to him.
had he known it would be this hard to get over you, kimata syoya would’ve never fell in the first place.
just as those words repeated in his mind, mantra-like; you stirred and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. there was a thought in your mind to thank miu the next morning for letting you sleep on her.
however, a strange smell invaded your senses. that wasn’t miu’s perfume. opening your eyes, you nearly yelped the realisation. of course it wasn’t miu, it was syoya.
“oh my god, i am so sorry.” you muttered out after moving away.
the man looked at you. “you were really tired. i know the performance is really important and all, but so is your wellbeing. take some time for yourself and rest instead of worrying about us all the time, yeah?”
hesitantly, you looked away from your lap and met his gaze.
“i will. thank you for…” you swallowed quickly before continuing. “letting me sleep.”
“anytime.”
there was a moment of silence between you.
“do you want me to walk you to your room?” syoya asked you, peering up and watching the dim lights of the room.
“i guess it can’t hurt.”
grabbing the blanket that was draped over you in one hand, you got up. the walk was short but silent, the both of you side to side, only the occasional hum breaking the awkward air. when you reached your room, syoya smiled before turning around to leave.
you took a shaky breath. “syoya.”
the man stopped in his tracks.
“sleep well.” you said with a soft tone to which he hummed in response.
and only when you disappeared behind the door did the bassist move. he glared at the frame, almost inspecting every inch of it. perhaps it was the overbearing regret of not telling you the truth that kept him there, he didn’t know. syoya was so lost. more lost than he’d ever been in all of his twenty-four years of living.
but before he could overthink further, he turned on his heel and made his way to his own room.
unbeknownst to him, you were in the same predicament. as you shut the door, you sighed loudly.
“came back from your boyfriend, did you?” miu teased from the bed on the far end of the room, remnants of sleep still evident from her voice.
walking towards her, you picked up a free pillow and threw it at her quickly.
“ow! what was that for?”
from the moonlight shining through the curtains, you could make out miu glaring at you.
“it wouldn’t have happened if you kept your mouth shut for once,” you remarked, crossing your arms. “now scoot over.”
“rude much.” she grumbled before rolling over to the other side of the bed, turning away from you in faux annoyance when you climbed in and got comfortable. “of course she’s only nice to her boyfriend.”
poking at her side in retaliation, you retorted. “he’s not my boyfriend.”
“sure he isn’t.” she had turned around now.
“i hate you.”
“stop acting like you wouldn’t kiss him again if you had the chance.”
you sighed at her relentless teasing. “first of all, he kissed me. second of all, he doesn’t even like me.” shutting your eyes, you paused.
“go to sleep now, it’s late.”
“whatever.” she grumbled before turning around again.
it was only a few minutes before you heard the familiar slow breaths and light snores, signalling that miu was asleep. moving onto your back, you gazed up at the ceiling in the dim room. but as much as you tried, your mind only wandered back to syoya, mourning the feeling of his soft lips on yours, reminding you of every single memory with him present. times where he’d help you, console you, even just look at you. when his body was so close to yours, warmth radiating off it.
there was just a spark between you both.
the way his eyes would lighten, a familiar glint of joy in them whenever he was excited. you couldn’t help but hate him at that moment.
why was kimata syoya so charming? why did he have to be so nice and lead you on?
or perhaps you were the one overthinking every interaction. there was a relentless lump bubbling in your throat, bringing a sharp pain with every breath.
you could never really hate the bassist. no matter how much you tried. and you despised yourself for that.
why did you have to be so vulnerable? that was exactly why the break up with rihito had been such a sensitive topic. just when you thought you were ready for love once again, it all crumbled away before your eyes.
one question remained unanswered. why was your heart so insistent in pursuing him, even when it was obvious, when he flat-out told you he didn’t feel the same?
nothing made sense to you. but only one thing was apparent.
you had to get over him.
‘stop worrying about everything. you’re always stressing.’ you could almost hear miu say. for a minute, you smiled at the fact that she’d always try to erase every worry from you, thankful that she was always there to ground you, becoming someone you could rely on.
but that was before you felt her toss and turn, snatching the blanket off your body, exposing your skin to the cold and bringing goosebumps in its wake.
“oh for fuck’s sake.” you sighed, reaching over and grasping the blanket, pulling it back on.
maybe it was time to get some sleep.
the next morning was busy; it was the first time in long your band had gathered together in one place. you walked into yudai’s kitchen, being greeted by junki and koshin who were at the island, drinking coffee. yudai stood at the counter, turned from you, making himself some toast from what you learned, keigo was sleeping in and miu was occupied with checking over your lyrics and music sheets on the couch out of your line of sight. so that just left…
“good morning.” a voice grumbled out, making you turn around.
it was syoya.
still stood in his way, blocking the door frame , you scrambled to walk forward, looking down when his shoulders brushed yours slightly. it was a stark reminder of the night before.
as he took a seat, your eyes took him in. how could someone look so good even just when they woke up?
you lightly slapped your cheek; not trying to get caught up.
“wait a minute.” you heard miu call from the couch.
“yudai, did you know that harmony fest is taking place at rhythm lounge?”
“what? the rhythm lounge?” you could almost see the eyeballs bulge out of said man’s head.
“what?” keigo and junki asked in unison.
you all gathered around miu’s phone in no time — also waking up keigo in the process — still shocked by the revelation.
“isn’t that super hard to get into?” koshin asked, seemingly fed up with keigo tugging at his shirt. “keigo stop!”
“there was no need to shout about it…” the drummer frown. “i’m just trying to show my love!”
“well you’re annoying me. seriously don’t know how you’re older.”
“no fair.”
“don’t worry, you’re my favourite.” junki assured.
keigo smiled proudly. “see this is why i like junki out of—”
“not!” the guitarist stuck his tongue out, only to be tackled by the other man.
“are you guys like five?” you moved over to separate them, but to no avail.
“last person to move away has to pay for takeout.”
well apart from that, the weeks and days leading up to the performance were good. practice had been smooth sailing.
you could almost play the whole song blindfolded, or even sing it all in your sleep.
but nothing could prepare you for a performance other than actually performing.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
day of
the ride towards the venue was silent for the most part. yudai was driving, with syoya in the passenger seat. miu and you sat in the second row, with koshin, keigo and junki at the back. apart from the occasional goofing around from junki, and complaints from koshin, there was no noise.
well, opening for a very known music festival would be enough to knock anyone off their game. so there you sat with headphones in, listening to he plays bass’ demo on loop. you certainly didn’t want to forget the lyrics on stage and embarrass the band so you did what you could.
“guys.” koshin spoke up, earning confused stares from everyone else. “how come we still don’t have a band name?”
“luminescence?” syoya mumbled.
miu nodded. “that sounds good.”
“i agree.” yudai added.
“miu and yudai agreeing on something? guess this day is full of surprises!” said the drummer.
“shut up.” they both replied in unison, their expressions a mix of annoyance and amusement.
“you guys do know that since this was a really hard venue to get in, there’ll be some important people present. and also this could be a way for us to get loyal fans.” everyone was silent as you spoke. “also since it’s taking place in rhythm lounge there might be some label managers attending. we can mingle around too.”
from the front, yudai nodded along. “since we’re the first act, we set the tone for everything else after. so give it your all!”
when you had arrived rehearsals flew by and attendees started flooding in. the venue was some sort of cross between a club and a closed stadium; it wasn’t as big as you thought, but still intimidating. the stage was a raised platform, with the drums and keyboard already set up; the guitars that your band had brought on their stands.
moving away from the curtain, you turned to the rest of the band. but a certain man rushed in — a worker you figured from the mic around his ear and clothes — reiterating that there was only ten minutes until go-time.
once he left, you all released heavy breaths, anxious with the performance to come. and it wasn’t like you hadn’t practiced the hell out of the song, you had, but nerves had gotten the best of everyone. with every passing second, your stomach churned, and with a finger caught in between your teeth you contemplated if everything was really worth it.
luminescence had already performed live in small gigs but this was totally different.
the room behind the stage was small, but enough to accommodate all of you. everyone else sat down on random chairs probably sharing the same thoughts as you. but that was until yudai broke the silence.
“[name] you look like you’re gonna throw up before even stepping foot on that stage. i think you guys need to calm down. it’s fine, you’re only going to be on there for three minutes.”
“easy for you to say, you’re not the one performing.” miu remarked, crossing her arms.
“are y’all really gonna have an argument before we even perform?” koshin pinched the bridge of his nose.
“i really do think i’m gonna throw up.” you mumbled, looking down and not sensing syoya’s concern-filled gaze on you.
randomly, keigo jumped up, his arms outstretched and waddling towards you.
“i’ll give you a kiss for good luck then!” his lips were puckered as he basically charged towards you.
“ew!” you exclaimed and put your arms out, trying to stop him. “do that to someone else.”
“okay!” he replies, moving to the closest next to you; unfortunately koshin.
the man jolted back in his seat. “not me, her!” he gestured to miu who was next to him.
she shook her head and waved her hands around. “not me either! junki’s free though.”
you giggled when the drummer slowly stalked up to junki with the goofiest smile plastered on his face. but just as he began, the same man from before returned.
“you guys are on!” he announced, voice booming. and just as quick as he arrived, he was already gone..
as you took a deep breath, your other members gathered.
“hands down.” yudai placed his hand flat down, inviting others to join. “for moral support.”
one by one, you all followed, hands stacking on top of each other. and on the count of three, you pulled away.
getting in your head at the most crucial part of your career wasn’t possible. you walked slowly onto stage, with everyone else following behind. sounds of a crowd screaming and cheering was the first thing to invade your senses, the next was the stage light shining down that possessed the ability to blind anyone unfortunate to look above.
over the first few seconds, you settled down into your respective instruments. you turned back, watching keigo sit down onto the chair in front of the drum set, syoya, miu, and junki wear their guitar straps, and finally, koshin with his keyboard.
returning to the mic stand, you swallowed thickly before speaking. “we are luminescence and this is our original, he plays bass.” your voice wavered slightly, nerves evident. despite that, you stood still, gripping the microphone and waiting for keigo’s drum-count.
“hey… won’t you call me back?” you softly began after the count, your voice was barely above a whisper but was amplified by the microphone. “‘cause i’ve been waiting for a text back. it hurts my brain. this guy who plays bass.” only miu and junki’s guitar played with your vocals.
the drums came in shortly after with the keyboard, underlining the song’s melody.
“he plays bass. he plays bass.” the crowd cheered once again, and you felt your nerves seep away with every cheer. “nothing matters cause we’re both in space. pretty shit we could never date. he plays bass. he plays bass.”
the chorus cruised past almost like a breeze, you wore a smile on your face as you continued to sing with all your heart, the people in the crowd pumping energy through you. and you could definitely tell your other members felt the same thing.
it all just came together; every strum of guitar, every twang from the bass, every note played by the keyboard and every beat from the drum. the song exuded perfection.
“oh how i wish we could just date. so you can teach me how to be just like you….” you gripped the mic harder, leaning into the audience and whispering.
at that second, keigo increased the intensity, striking his drums with more power, everyone else following alone. syoya’s bass added more depth and richness to the overall flow and harmony.
briefly, it was nothing short of a symphony.
“wish i was more like you.” you repeated again and again and again.
everyone played their respective instruments, loudly; it was an organised turmoil. a musical euphony. the song ended a few seconds later, with keigo’s last strike of his drum.
there was a moment of silence before the audience erupted into jeers and whoops. you all took a second to catch your breath before bowing.
“and that was luminescence, folks. have a great night!” you spoke, waving to each side of the lounge.
hurriedly, your band returned to the room behind stage. with a stiff posture, yudai stood at the back off the room with the biggest smile tugging at his lips. you all rushed to him, engulfing him in a hug and nearly toppling him over; having six grown adults pounce on you was enough to make anyone fall.
“did you see us out there? we were so crazy!” you said, a little too loud for yudai.
the manager winced, nodding enthusiastically. “yeah, you guys were amazing. like even my jaw dropped. that was the best thing to ever grace my ears and i’m not joking.”
“okay, we get it.” miu rolled her eyes playfully, pinching yudai’s side.
“i was so nervous too. i can’t believe we just did that!” koshin exclaimed.
“we’re probably the coolest band ever after that crazy performance.” keigo proclaimed as he nudged koshin.
“we’re bound to get some offers and fans now.” syoya added.
you all stayed glued to yudai, with a certain guitarist gripping him for dear life.
“i… can’t… breathe.” you heard yudai struggle out.
“junki!” you scolded as you tried to pry his hands off.
“i was just excited, sorry….” he trailed off, pulling away.
a smile curved on your lips at his actions.
“of course you were.”
“hey—“
but junki was rudely interrupted by the incessant ringing of a phone, specifically yudai’s phone. his expression etched into one of confusion as he pulled it out, putting it to his ear after answering.
“hello?”
there was a moment of silence, with yudai nodding at whatever the person on the line was saying.
“yes this is luminescence’s manager.” everyone, including you, exchanged curious glances before looking back to yudai as he began whispering something to you.
“go on. have fun, i have to deal with something.” he said and dismissed you with a hand.
“you don’t have to tell me twice.” keigo said before making his way outside the room, with you following closely behind.
as you walked out into the crowd space, your members went their own ways; miu stuck with you and whisked you away to get refreshments, junki and keigo went straight to the dancefloor to enjoy the tracks that were being played, and koshin and syoya disappeared quickly from your sights off to god-knows-where. when you reached the bar, you gave miu a glance, as if asking her what she would choose.
you cupped your mouth, leaning over towards miu for her to hear over the booming music. “i’m not trying to get drunk tonight.”
she laughed and agreed. “don’t worry, me too.”
the bartender moved over towards you. “what can i get you?”
“two lemon-lime sodas please.”
“okay, just a few minutes.” he said, bringing up two glasses from under the table.
the man poured syrup into both before placing a block of ice and making a show off of adding the carbonated water, putting the soda gun far away.
he pushed it in your direction. “there you go.” he said as he wiped his hands on a clean cloth.
after thanking him, you made your way to a black booth on the far end of the lounge with miu. it was small and could seat at least four people at a time, the other woman moved down and sat next to you on the seats facing the platformed stage, occupying yourselves idly with conversation and enjoying the other performances. one of the perks of being a performer in the day was free refreshments and entry so you were all glad to be enjoying it to the fullest.
your other members were long gone but it was a night to enjoy yourselves so you’d let it go.
however, miu had seemed to spot a certain bassist on the other side of the lounge, under the lights and engaged in conversing with koshin. it was weird, she thought. how syoya’s gaze would somehow found its way to you, lingering just for a moment before returning.
a knowing glint flashed in her eyes.
all of a sudden, the guitarist nudged you, pointing at a man leaning on a table not too far away.
your gaze lingered on him for a second as she spoke. “he’s exactly your type.”
black hair framed his face, slightly tousled but still perfect. and he was good looking.
“true. but why are you telling me that?” you said, not quite trusting her words.
for a brief moment, she stayed silent.
“just cause.”
“just cause what?”
“you’ve been single for too long, it’s time to get out there!”
you leaned forward onto the table. “weren’t you the one who told me that i wasn’t ready for a relationship just yet?”
“touchè,” miu said with a shrug. “but i think you’re ready now, you’re too stressed with our band stuff, let loose once in a while.”
“the sakurai miu telling me to let loose? what kind of alternate reality did i just get sucked into?” your tone held a sarcastic flair to it, unfortunately earning you a smack to the arm. “that was uncalled for! i was just joking, come on.”
“whatever. just go!” she warned you before pushing you out the seat and forcing you to get up. “and don’t come back til you’ve talked to him!” she shouted after you.
shaking her head, she tutted as you walked away hesitantly. “idiots.”
your pace was slow — swerving your way through what seemed like millions of dancing bodies, probably drunk, probably not; walking towards the guy. music blasted from everywhere, almost deafening you, the lights flickered all sorts of colours. you took a deep breath, before smoothly placing yourself next to him.
visibly startled, his eyes widened before questioning. “hi?”
“hey.” you gave him a tight-lipped smile, trying to be nonchalant.
unbeknownst to you, syoya watched you two curiously. but there was a sense of discomfort that settled in his stomach. however, he could only watch.
returning the smile, he seemed to be amused. “and to whom do i owe this pleasure?”
“[name],” you replied, tone equally as playful. “you?”
“hiroto, but most of my friends call me nishi.”
“well, nishi, i spotted you from over—“
“sorry, for interrupting, but you seem familiar.” his brows furrowed as he seemed to be recalling something. “oh, wait! aren’t you with the band that performed a while ago? luminescence…? you’re their vocalist!”
you only chuckled. “uh, yeah. to be honest, i didn’t think anyone would’ve recognised me…”
“how could i not? you guys were so cool!” he said, his excitement bubbling through his words. “you know, i tried searching you guys up, how do you not have, like, a thousand fans or something?”
at nishi’s chatter and the smiles directed at you, it was clear anyone would be charmed. yet, you didn’t understand why you remained unaffected. the warmth of the moment seemed to slip through your fingers as thoughts of that certain man clouded your mind. it was so odd, this pull he had on your heart, making you wonder why he lingered there when everything else felt so fun and easy. why was it so hard to just enjoy the moment like everyone else? it left you feeling puzzled.
despite that, your lips turned upwards. “you’re giving us too much flattery. we’re just new that’s al. but i’ll make sure to relay that to the rest.”
far behind, in a small corner, syoya bit his bottom lip in contemplation. he was so sick of second guessing himself, never being direct about what he felt.
this time, he thought. this time, kimata syoya would follow his heart instead.
“no, truly. you have a killer voice. and the song was an original too? it certainly—“
“this just in; here’s a surprise performance.” a voice boomed from the speakers, the host introducing another act. “coming to you here, kimata syoya!”
your head nearly snapped at the mention. what?
and true to the spoken words; the man was on stage. not with his usual bass, but a guitar — junki’s guitar. thousands of questions ran through your mind. as you looked to the stage, the crowd before you roared, excited to see another act.
but all you could focus on was him. how his bangs stuck to his forehead as he slung the guitar around his shoulder, how his eyes were filled with determination, how much confidence radiated off of him. all you could focus on was kimata syoya.
the silence made your breath hitch and your head spin, it made you frown. why was he so good at pulling you in so effortlessly? he never cared so why did you?
“this song’s called ‘right side of my neck’, hope you like it.” his gaze lingered on you before he looked down, adjusting his grip on the guitar.
the start of the song was slow. it engulfed you in a warm embrace, making you revel in the serenity.
“you said you can’t change your haircut. but it looks good anyway.” his voice was soft.
you never knew syoya could sing. and definitely not like this.
as the melody progressed, his eyes tended to focus on you, making you feel like the only other person in the room.
“so, uh—“ the man beside you began.
“wait, give me a second.” you interrupted quicky.
syoya grinned. “you looked at me once, but i looked back two times.”
there was the tiniest bit of silence. “the right side of my neck still smells like you.” he sang.
it all felt oddly familiar.
and then it hit you. that night when you fell asleep on his shoulder.
was he really singing about then? you didn’t know. but it all felt too personal.
but the syoya you knew didn’t like you. you couldn’t fall for it — you shouldn’t fall for it, you repeated mentally.
the audience swayed, a huge difference in reaction to all the other artists; only cheering when the song ended.
“thank you.” syoya said breathlessly into the microphone. and then that was it. he walked off.
you turned around, refocusing on nishi. you crossed your arms.
“so what were you saying?”
“oh yeah! that you did—“
halfway into his response, a hand rested on your shoulder, forcing you to turn around.
“[name], can we talk?” you heard syoya question, tone soft.
“uhh, we’re in the middle of something.” you replied hastily. you didn’t have enough in you to get roped into becoming infatuated with him more.
his eyes were pleading. “please.”
so naturally, you relented. “okay.” you turned back to nishi apologetically.
“i’m so sorry.”
he shook his head. “no, you’re good. i’ll be here when you come back.”
“thank you.” you whispered before following syoya’s lead.
the whole way, the man was silent, his back turned to you, only turning his head from time to time to glance over at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher. somehow, he led you away from all the ruckus and to a door. the room your band had hung out in earlier; before rehearsals.
he opened the door, letting you in before closing it.
still confused, you paced around for a while, clearly uncomfortable with the overbearing silence.
“what did you want to talk about?” you asked as your thoughts ran frantic.
silence.
as you frustratedly moved to leave, the man’s body blocked your way to the door; his gaze refused to meet yours.
you snapped. “oh, for goodness sake. why did you bring me out here, syoya?”
“please don’t go back to that guy.” his voice was so low, you almost missed it.
your ears strained to pick up at his words.
“what?” you queried in disbelief.
he picked up his volume, now looking at you. “please don’t go back to him.”
was he really doing this? again?
all the sensible parts in your brain told you to leave it, that he was just playing with you. but your heart held you down, freezing your feet.
“i’m not following. what are you trying to get at?” your tone was harsh, cutting through him.
the man internally winced at your dismissiveness. “don’t go back to him. not when you have me.”
somehow, he appeared to tug at your heart strings. you hated it.
“no, i’m not doing this again.”
“what?” he looked genuinely confused.
however, it only served to add to your frustration.
“i am not some type of experiment for you to play with. first, you kiss me and run off. then, you apologise being sweet and all; blaming it on the moment. and i really believed it. but now?“ you paused for a while and bit the inside of your cheek before continuing. “you’re telling me not to go? bullshit.”
“no, but—“
you cut him off. “you don’t get it, syoya.” your voice broke. “i genuinely felt something for you. you say one thing but mean another —- do another. just when i tried to move on.”
“please don’t say that.” syoya tried to get through to you. however, you were too far gone. “i haven’t explained everything.”
“of course, i was dumb enough to believe it. i mean we fucking kissed. and then you have the guts to pull this on me. save it, please.” you whispered.
“you’re not dumb,” he mumbled. “you’re anything but. you’re nothing short of the most amazing person i know.”
you felt your heart waver. “stop trying to sweet-talk me. it hurt, you know. at first, the kiss made me see you in a whole different light. it confused me, but i really wanted to try. i liked you. too much for my own good. then, you became distant and said it didn’t mean anything. that’s when i felt like shit.” you swallowed thickly. “you act like a boyfriend. but now i get it, it wasn’t anything special. even that song. you’re so confusing, syoya.”
the man winced at the mention of the song, but you didn’t catch it.
there was a huge lump in your throat, reminiscent of that night. rihito flashed in your mind. they were all the same.
and yet you were always swayed by the charming bassists.
“i hate you. so much.” your index finger found his chest, tapping it accusingly. “leave me alone. that’s the least you could do.”
but your words didn’t mirror what your heart wanted — desired. it needed comfort. to be consoled. but your brain overtook you. you were being overly emotional, just like you always were.
you took a step back, covering your face with your hands while muttering. “just… leave. go away, syoya.” his name felt like thorns to your tongue.
you were overwhelmed by oh so many emotions. frustration, anger, and others you couldn’t name.
syoya only stood there, paralysed in place while listening to your frustrations. his heart clenched at the sight before him. no wonder you hated him.
he knew he messed up.
a hand touched your wrist, pulling your hands away from your face, slightly taken aback when he noticed the tears that streamed down. you felt him wrap his arms around your torso, resting his chin on top and placing a hand on your head, whilst the other rubbed at your back.
your sobs were quiet. and he was too.
“if you cry more, i’m gonna start bawling my eyes out too.” the bassist said, voice broken as he continued to slightly rock back and forth.
through your irregular breaths, you let out a dry laugh. “you should. it’ll make us even.”
“now you’ve calmed down, i’ll say what i’ve been wanting to.”
as you tried to pull away, he held you tight.
“please don’t. i don’t think i’ll be able to look you in the eye.”
“okay.” you mumbled into his chest.
“i like you. i’ve liked you ever since we first met,” he started. “that kiss meant everything to me. but you seemed unsure, which is why i said and did what i did. i know this isn’t a proper apology, but i want to express that i never intended to make you feel bad because of my actions. i totally understand if you need some time away from me.” his voice became more and more faint as he continued.
when you finally moved out of his hold, it became apparent; the tears that streamed down his cheeks, mirroring yours.
“you’re so fucking stupid.” you said. but there was no real anger behind your words.
“i love you.” he mumbled. “i wrote it for you. even if you don’t want anything to do with me, i’ll always be here.”
you leaned up, bridging the gap between you.
the kiss was salty but somehow still sweet. it only lasted a second but you could still feel his warmth.
“i’m sorry. i never meant to—“ syoya began again.
“syoya.” the call of his name stopped him. “i love you too.”
a smile grew on his face at your words. “i’m so glad.”
using your hand, your brushed out the locks covering his eyes.
“i want us be serious.” he said, wiping his face with his sleeve. “i want to be able to tell everyone that i’m yours and that you’re mine.”
you hummed in agreement. “me too, syoya.”
“can i be your boyfriend?”
“only if you let me be your girlfriend, sure.”
his hands took to yours, intertwining them. “that goes without saying.” the bassist softly murmured, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.
at that moment, the door banged open, and the rest of your band filed in; yudai leading.
“guys!” he exclaimed, practically bouncing around the room. “we were looking around for you everywhere. but, guess who called me?”
“who?” syoya asked.
“we’re gonna be signed to a major label. a fucking label!” keigo yelled. “a label! do you guys hear that?”
“what?” a gasp left your lips, eyes widening. “are you bullshitting us?”
“no, really.” koshin nodded frantically.
yudai ran up to you both. “and.. and… get this.” he shoved his phone into your faces. “we’re viral on twitter! some person posted a video of your performance, and we’re getting so many followers.”
you squinted your eyes in disbelief. “since when did we have a twitter account?”
“since i made one for you…? get with the program, [name].” yudai rolled his eyes. “the fact is; people are interested in luminescence.”
before you could get another word in, miu spoke.
“so what’s up with you two?” gesturing to you and syoya’s locked hand, she raised an eyebrow.
“uhhhh…” you trailed off.
“we’re dating.” syoya said.
“oh. my. god. finally!” miu clasped her hands together, running to hug you both.
“wait, really?” junki shouted. “so our plan worked!”
“way to ruin it.” koshin deadpanned.
“plan? what…?” you were caught off guard.
the bassist beside you only grinned sheepishly, leaving no comment.
keigo nudged the younger. “it’s not like no one knew. but i’m happy for you both or whatever.”
”same here. as long as there isn’t any public display of affection…” yudai nodded.
miu shook her head at the manager’s words. “its pda, who even says it in full like that, idiot.”
“here we go again.” you sighed.
Tumblr media
reblogs are heavily appreciated
8 notes · View notes
peach-the-owl · 2 years ago
Note
Hi, I’ve been obsessed with your writing for a while, and I was wondering if you would write a final part to Far From Home where the reader goes to Tal’Dorei with Allura and the rest of the Mighty Nein after the events at Cognouza and finds Vox Machina again?
Oooooo~ I hadn’t thought about those fics in a while. You are absolutely right, a reunion must be had!
If anyone’s in need of a refresher here’s Part 1 and Part 2
Far From Home (Finale)
Vox Machina/Mighty Nein & Child!Reader
It’s been quite some time since your time travelling escapade, and at least month since your finale battle in Cognouza, the world may not know what you’ve all accomplished but you sure did. As a way to help wind down and move to the next chapter in your lives Allura had invited you all to come to a party in Tal’Dorei, it was possibly a way to share stories and make new connections. Either way you were super excited to go, only feeling a little bummed out when Caduceus said he wouldn’t be joining, only to perk up again as the both of you agreed that you’d tell him all about it once you got back.
Thanks to Caleb’s photographic memory he was able to construct a teleportation circle right to Allura’s tower, of course being sure to have Jester send a message to her in advance as to not shock the woman with an unexpected visit. With things set up and everyone ready Caleb casts the spell and you all step through the portal. The first thing you do is run up to one of the windows and look outside, last time you were here with the Nein you didn’t get the chance to see the city and you’ve been curious. Thanks to the height of the tower you got a good view of the whole city, finally getting to see just how beautiful it looked, defiantly a stark difference to burning and broken buildings. Then you saw it, a short distance from the city stood a lone fortress, the one you were sure was where you followed those other adventurers to safety.
“(Y/n).” Kingsley’s voice pulls you from your thoughts. “Come on, you’re supposed to be my resident know it all. Are you really going to stare into dreamland and leave me to my own devices?” He playfully questions.
“You’d leave to your own devices even if I was paying attention.” You retaliate with a soft punch to his leg, he feigns being hurt by the “attack” making you both start laughing. Looking back to the others you notice Allura now preparing another spell, guess this party wasn’t being held in Emon. Another trip through a portal and you were somewhere completely new.
“Welcome to Whitestone Castle.” This woman looked too fancy to be a simple attendant. “You must be the Mighty Nein, Allura’s told us a bit about you, my name’s Vesper, if you would please follow me to the grand hall.” She then leads everyone to where the party was held. Of course Caleb, Beau and Fjord had their fair share of questions along the way.
“Are you okay? You look a little, umm… nervous.” Yasha asks with concern, pulling in your attention.
“Huh? Oh, uhhhh, yeah I’m okay. Just looking at everything.” You reply.
“Okay, if you need me to carry you just ask.” She gives you a pat on the head. She did technically have a point, you were feeling a little nervous, after all those adventurers you met, Vox Machina you now recalled, could be here. Although would that actually matter, sure those memories are still fresh in your mind but for them it’s been years, did they even remember you? Honestly you didn’t think so, you didn’t do much during your stay in the past and defiantly nothing noteworthy to be remembered by, it wouldn’t be surprising if you did meet them and they saw you as just some kid at the party.
You could hear the chattering of party goers before stepping into the main hall. No one wastes any time splitting up and conversing with others. Beau doing what she does best getting intel with Yasha close beside her, Caleb’s still chatting with Allura and Kima, Jester was trying to convince Fjord to dance with her, Veth doing about the same with Yeza, Kingsley had just disappeared from view entirely hopefully not getting into too much trouble. Unsure what to do yourself you settled for the easy choice of going to the snack table, however as you approached you can’t help but notice the bear just sitting casually next to it. Switching gears you walk up to the bear, trying to remember his name.
“Trek… no. Tricky… no, that doesn’t sound right either.” You mumble, getting the bears attention. He lifts his head and sniffs the air, tilting his head curiously at you before leaning a little closer and puffing air in your face, making you giggle and refresh your memory. “Trinket!” You say proudly, as if understanding you he nods, relaxing his head and letting you pet him. While petting him you catch sight of a beautiful half-elf with antlers resting on her head, you recognized her, she was the one you thought was a princess… Keyleth, that was her name. You weren’t sure how you should say hello to her, still wondering if she remembered you. Shaking you head to clear your thoughts you take a breath and just go for it.
“Excuse me?” You tug lightly on her dress to get her attention. “Are you a princess?” It was a strange icebreaker, but it was the first thing you’d asked her when you first met, a part of you thinking that maybe it’ll refresh her memory. She turns and looks at you about to say something, but when her eyes meet yours she pauses, a surprised look on her face.
“I-It’s you.” She practically whispers, the recognition in her voice makes you tilt your head in confusion, did she actually remember? You had hope they would but didn’t actually expect them to.
“You… you remember me?” You ask, wanting solid confirmation. This makes her smile as she nods, kneeling down to match with your height.
“I do! Wait… come with me a minute, the others have to see this.” She gets up and offers you her hand, after a moment of hesitation you place your hand in hers and let her guide you to where two familiar gnomes were talking to a goliath, Pike, Scanlan and Grog as you recalled. “Guys! Guys! Look who came to visit.” She calls for them.
“Uhhh, hi.” You greet awkwardly, not entirely sure what to say.
“Hello tiny child.” Grog greets back.
“Uhh, sup kid.” Scanlan looks at you as if trying to recall something.
“Hello… Hold on a second, you look… familiar.” Pike takes a good long look at you, her eyes then brighten up in recognition. “Wait! You’re the child that came from the future, or well present now. It was (y/n), right?”
“Yeah! I didn’t think you guys would remember me.” You say still a little shocked.
“Remember who?” Grog asks confused, so he didn’t remember but that seemed reasonable anyways.
“Don’t worry yourself about it big guy.” Pike pats his arm.
“Oh yeah!” Scanlan perks up. “I remember now! Your the one who said you saw my name on a book once.” You give a nod and he smiles brighter. “Well I’m glad to say you spoke correctly because I do indeed have a book. One minute!” With that he disappears into the crowd as two others approach.
“What’s all the commotion about?”
“Percy, you owe me 50 gold.” Pike lightly jabs him, a smug look on her face.
“For what exactly?” He raises a curious eyebrow at her. Pike gestures to where you’re standing, his eyes widening in shock. “What…? It-it can’t be.” The words slip out in a near whisper.
“You’re Percy, right? You’re the one who said I was making up I was from the future.” He stares at you dumbfounded, the half-elf with him kneels down to your level.
“Do you remember who I am?” She asks, an expectant look on her face. You think about it for a moment, before giving her a smile and nod.
“Your Vex! You own that really nice bear, Trinket!” You say happily, she chuckles at your enthusiasm.
“Yes, he is a very loveable companion isn’t he.” She replies.
“Umm…” You look around at all of them, feeling like something was missing, or someone. “Wasn’t there one more with you? He looked a lot like you.” You question, Vex’s expression drops.
“That’s a long story little one, but he’s… no longer with us…” She trails off saddened making you frown.
“Oh,” you stare at your feet and fidget with your fingers. “I’m sorry. I know how that feels...” You also trail off in reminiscence. Vex places a hand on your shoulder both in comfort and reassurance, you softly smile back. “Oh!” You suddenly realize something. “I wanna ask something.” They all give you a nod to continue. “Okay, ummm… Why do you remember me? It was super long ago for you guys, I thought you’d just forget.”
“Well you see-“
“(Y/n)! There you are, we were wondering where you ran off to.” Before they could answer they’re interrupted by Caleb walking over, joined soon after by the others in your group.
“Ah! I assume you’re the ones this child belongs to?” Percy asks quizzically.
“We apologize for their wandering, didn’t mean to interrupt your evening.” Fjord scratches the back of his neck nervously.
“No need, we’ve been enjoying their company and reminiscing a little.” Keyleth pipes up, getting some confused looks from the Nein.
“I’m back! Found what I was looking for!” Scanlan makes a sudden reappearance. “Here ya go!” He hands you a book. “It’s a personally sighted copy of my book. I don’t know if you ever got around to reading it after our previous meeting so now you have a copy of your own and bragging rights to all your friends that the author personally gave it to you.” Scanlan says proudly.
“Hold on. Reminisce? Previous meeting? (Y/n), what have you been up to?” Beau looks at you with a curious but firmly expression.
“Allow us to explain.” Vex steps in catching everyone’s attention. “You see about 20 years or so ago we were under attack by a powerful group of dragons calling themselves the Chroma Conclave. It was shortly after the initial attack on Emon that we found a lost, self proclaimed time traveller.” You look away slightly sheepish.
“At the time we weren’t fully aware of this, but we did know they braved the possibility of the dragons detection to save a comrade and friend of ours.” Percy adds. “And when they did tell us, some didn’t exactly believe their words, brushing it off as childish make believe.”
“We were able to send them home, unsure if it was actually the future or just across the world.” Pike gives you a knowing smile. “Either way, they left us with something vital from that point onward.” Now they really had your attention, wondering just what you could’ve left behind in your short time with them. Keyleth kneels next to you again, a bright look in her eyes.
“You gave us hope.” She says.
“Hope?” You question, utterly confused. “How? I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, dear.” Vex jumps in again. “Despite some of us still being sceptical,” she gives a quick glance at Percy, “the idea of someone from the future, a child no less, looking as well and even cheerful as they were in those hard times, well… it gave us that extra drive to see that future come to light.”
“It wasn’t just the dragons either.” Keyleth speaks up again. “After the Conclaves defeat there were still times where victory felt so far out of reach that I almost believed it was hopeless but then, remembering how you smiled when you asked if I was a princess reignited why we needed to keep fighting.”
“Not to mention, I couldn’t just hear how I’d made a fantastic book in the future only to not write it, that’s absurd! I had to see it come to light.” Scanlan flourishes with a dramatic pose, this gets a light laugh from the rest of Vox Machina.
“I remember that day.” Caleb says after they quiet down. “It was supposed to be a spell for gaining a long rest without much time passing, at the time it was still in development and my… colleague and I lost control of it. I know (y/n) told us as much as they could, but still, I never would’ve guessed this to be the result.”
“Well, I’d like to thank you for such an odd mishap. Who knows how different things could’ve turned out for us if they hadn’t appeared.” Pike thanks. You’re an embarrassed mess, even after all this time you still weren’t exactly used to so much attention, at least not to this degree. You never thought your mere presents all those years ago would affect such a big piece of history… but then again if they hadn’t achieved victory in the first place how different could things have that you wouldn’t have been thrown into the past to spark this hope… it was starting to hurt your brain too much to think about. (paradoxes baby’s!)
“Look at you!” You’re pulled away from your thoughts by Jester picking you up. “Being a brave hero all by yourself.” She twirls you around before squishing you against her and giving little bunny kisses, the both of you giggling as a result.
“You never told me you were a time traveller!” Kingsley says shocked, stealing you away from Jester. “Tell me everything.” With another laugh you start to recount your adventure with him.
“They’re a special kid.” Vex says, watching you happily chatting with Kingsley, Jester and Veth. “You should proud.”
“Oh trust us, we know.” Beau says, glancing over at you, you wave at at all of them.
“And we all are.” Yasha finishes for her.
22 notes · View notes
ravendruid · 1 year ago
Text
Prompt Request Guidelines
So you want to send me a prompt, either from one of the many prompt lists or one of your own? Here's what you need to know before sending one:
What I will not write:
Incest;
Rape;
Animal abuse & animal death that is not from old age;
Smut (for now. Suggestive themes are fine);
Stalking/Doxxing;
Abusive relationships and manipulation;
x Reader/self-insert.
I will not write any theme not displayed above if the prompt, content, or sender makes me uncomfortable, or if I'm not in the right mindset for it.
Which CR campaigns do I write for:
Campaign 1 & 2;
Campaign 3, depending on the prompt/pairing;
Exandria Unlimited (any);
The Legend of Vox Machina.
Which romantic pairings am I always excited to write for:
Keyleth/Vax'ildan;
Percival/Vex'ahlia;
Allura/Kima;
Pike/Scanlan;
Essek/Caleb;
Beau/Yasha;
Fjord/Jester;
Orym/Will;
Orym/Dorian;
Imogen/Laudna.
I also take non-romantic pairings/groups, such as friendship (I love Grog & Pike and Caleb & Beau), and family (either found family or blood-related). If you see a romantic prompt that you love but would like to see it done with a platonic pairing/group, do not hesitate to ask! I am always willing to take on a challenge. <3
If you would like me to set a prompt in a specific AU, you can check out the list of my AUs here, or you can send me an AU idea for it!
5 notes · View notes
sips-tea-cutely · 3 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
HEYYYY
DATING GAME SIM IN THE MAKING !!! AND ITS YTTD. IT INCLUDES CANON EVENTS/FLUFFY EVENTS/ANGST EVENTS AND SUCH !! this is on google docs because im too broke to get an actual decent application.
HERE ARE THE FOLLOWING EVENTS !!
midori, safalin, rio, haysaka, sue miley, joe, kai, sou, keiji - CANON EVENTS/ANGST EVENTS.
sara, reko, nao, alice, qtaro +etc - FLUFF EVENTS.
HOPE YOU ENJOY YAYAYAY THE ONLY ROUTES THAT ARE IN THE MAKING ARE HAYASAKA JOE AND MIDORI RN
672 notes · View notes
kimaswork · 2 months ago
Text
Just coming back from commissions, you were beat. Scratches all over and a large wound on your shoulder. Too tried to be bothered by the pain you laid down in a sunny meadow and decided to rest for a while.
Upon awakening you saw a blurry shadow and felt immense pain at your wound. You groaned at the pain and went to sit up when a familiar voice spoke. "Stay down." A gentle yet strong hand pushed you back onto the ground. "I'm almost done ya big baby..."
Once your eyes adjusted you saw Xiao with bandages as he wrapped up your torso.
"What are you doing out here? And injured for that matter?" Opening your mouth to answer, you were quickly cut off. "If things were too hard for you to handle you should have called for me, you know I'll always come." With a huff he tied off the bandages and sat back to look at his work.
Finally you sat up and looked at him. "I was too tired so I just-" "Too tired?" He cut you off again. "So just because your tired you decided to risk your life? You could've bled out!" You simply rolled your eyes. "It wasn't that bad Xiao."
You could practically hear the growl bubbling up in his chest. Before he could open his mouth to lecture you, you leaned up and kissed him. Xiaos eyes widened at the sudden action but nonetheless he returned the motion.
"If youre so concerned about me then take care of me~" You teased. At your words Xaio stood, making your face fall, thinking he was about to leave. Instead, you squealed in surprise as he lifted you into his arms with ease. "Maybe I will~"
Cheeks aflame you averted eye contact and curled into his shoulder, making him chuckle.
Within seconds you were at Wangshu Inn as Xaio wisped you away. Bed soon beneath your sore body and Xiao leaned over you.
the continuation
This is only the beginning as my friend @zhonglis-little-slvt and I decided to collab. They will be continuing the story as a smut on their blog if you are interested <3
45 notes · View notes
demigoddessqueens · 3 years ago
Text
Y/n: Bye Vox Machina! Bye Lady Allura! Bye Lady Kima! Bye Gilmore! 🥰 Bye Vox Machina 😍
Uriel: you said bye to Vox Machina twice
Y/n: I like em ☺️😌
95 notes · View notes
kimageddon · 2 years ago
Text
I don't know if this is just me, but do you read X reader fics as actually yourself? I just imagine a character for the purposes of the fic. Like a reader character, not me.
Descriptors like fitted dresses or certain dialogue or even the love interest carrying the reader.
None of that applies to me.
So I just imagine a reader character or sometimes one of my own characters.
Does anyone else do this ? Or am I strange?
2 notes · View notes
kimakento · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
requesting rules: you can request any member(s) from the following groups; jo1, ini (only ot10) and &team.
i only write fem!reader (as that’s what i’m most comfortable writing). i will not write nsfw. i’ll try to make my fics as inclusive to others as i can.
when i write for ini, i will not write for hiromu as he is problematic, but i will write for the other 10 members.
Tumblr media
general rules
dni if you are : any of the -ists/phobes, nsfw blogs and etc
rules; all the basic stuff, don’t be weird, rude or any of the sort. criticisms should be nice
other things : my works are purely fiction so if you can’t identify that, then this blog is not for you. i will not tolerate hate and anything like that will be blocked and/or deleted.
this blog is only for fun, i will probably not post consistently so just enjoy it ig
tags : (💭 — kimafay things) - random thoughts from yours truly, (🗣— kimakento speaks) - my announcements, (📚 — kimakento’s library) - my fic recs for you guys; (🤭— kima spoils) - fic spoilers, (👤 — kimakento replies) - replying to asks/requests, (🔁 - kima reblogs) - my reblogs !!
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
k8kaa · 2 years ago
Text
# NEYMAR JR — DO I HAVE A HEART ?
Tumblr media
— info : you’re an private portuguese to english tutor , you’re famous student asks you a his first question in english , you reply .
— pairing : young!neymar jr x english tutor!reader
— tws : none js cute af :333 fluff drabble !!
— music : garota de ipanema
— a / n : inspired by m*kima and denjis ‘do i have a heart’ part in the csm manga. kys makima !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tumblr media
you , were teaching the young footballer the vocabulary of the body in english , you pretended werent the best at portuguese so his questions had to be in broken english most of the time . “this is a finger.” you lifted your finger off the book . “hã?” he looked confused so you used it in a sentence. “aa i understand!” he smiled . you just sighed and continued . “this is the heart” you say pointing at the heart sign in the book . “d-do i have a heart?” neymar stuttered in his question. you smile and sigh again . hes just learning.. you tell him to get up , and so do you . you take him in a embrace “i’ll see if you have one” you giggled as he blushed heavily . “ai-! UM CORAÇÃO??” (HEY- A HEART?) neymar stuttered. “sim , é um coração~..” (yes , its a heart)
you laughed at his shocked reaction at you speaking portuguese . “seu mentiroso! voce disse que nao fala portugues!” (you liar! you said you didnt speak portuguese!) he was angry , “hey . im your tutor , i have to trick you .. dont i?” you let go of his chest and smirk. “ok. I will speak inglês.” neymar crossed his arms like a little boy . he asked you to hug him again . “ te am- i lov-e you!” neymar said hugging you. “i love you more” you kissed his cheek.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
345 notes · View notes
peach-the-owl · 2 years ago
Text
The NPC’s Masterlist
Kima & Allura
Little Notes
Leaving Home
Pumat Sol
Of a Kind Sol
One Wild Week
Artagan
Into a World of Chaos
A God or a Fraud?
Gilmore
Wild Surge
Nothing More Valuable
Misc.
Lost in the City (Astrid and Eodwulf & Child!Reader)
Little Treasure (J’mon Sa Ord & Child!Reader)
Cold Lies, Colder Truths (Anna Ripley & Child!Reader)
Lost at Sea (Orly & Child!Reader)
Siblings by Chance, Friends by Choice (Kaylie & Sibling!Reader)
Welcome to the Family (The Clays & Child!Reader)
Under the Weather (Marion & Child!Reader)
Hunger (Avantica &Child!Reader)
Cassandra & Child!Reader
15 notes · View notes
utilitycaster · 2 years ago
Text
The thing when people loathe Essek is like. Look. I come to you as an enthusiastic hobbyist hater. There are so many things I dislike, and I talk about many of those dislikes. I would never stand in the way of you hating a fictional character.
But he is also absolutely inextricable from the story of the Mighty Nein. He is that great D&D experience, the intended-to-be-minor NPC about whom the players said "nope, we're adopting them." You cannot understand the full arc of most of the rest of the party without understanding how they responded to Essek. You can hate Essek...but I don't think you can like the Mighty Nein without at least tolerating him. You can't blame this on annoying fans - and there are, to be clear, very annoying Essek fans (notably those who do not understand the premise of an NPC vs a PC), but in his defense, I can name a number of other CR characters I like very much who have deeply irritating fans. I think it's best we all keep in mind that we are probably the deeply irritating fan of someone's favorite character.
I am also a passionate opponent of "well, as long as the cast is having fun" as a reason to dismiss someone's dislike, as readers of this blog are well aware, but it's also impossible to argue that the cast had anything but immense fondness for Essek, and that, while he is an NPC, and those implications will continue to exist, he is a character they love who is still out there in Exandria and who will be part of Critical Role in the same way that other beloved NPCs like Kima, Allura, and Gilmore are. And what you choose to do with that knowledge is up to you, but in the end...the path of the hater does require asking yourself honestly if you'll be happy sticking around, when this will always be the reality.
73 notes · View notes