#toxic aki hayakawa

[mmst4rz]

'a change of mind'

"FUCKED ME SO GOOD I ALMOST SAID 'I LOVE YOU'."

about. public safety, special division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, being obligated to go, you went, but left with someone you yearned yet loathed, aki hayakawa.

pairing. toxic!aki hayakawa x fem-bodied!reader

genre. fic, explicit, angst (maybe)

things to note. toxicity (duh), nsfw themes but no smut, reader is delusional asf, drinking, h*meno and m*kima, mentions of canon typical violence, implied dubcon.

🎧 : normal fucking rockwell, lana del rey

mm's note. i was literally watching an aki edit with 'les' by childish gambino and i was like...toxic aki. (lets be fr he wouldn't ACC be toxic)

Tokyo Special Division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, inviting everyone out for drinks. Originally, you had planned not to attend it to avoid him, but from Ms. Makima's orders, 'every devil hunter in the division must attend to get to know one another.'; which you found pointless because it was more than likely that most of them would be dead and gone in weeks' time. you slipped on your work pants, deep in thought. You knew you would see Aki Hayakawa there, after all he was one of the 'most trusted' devil hunters in the division and was even apart of Makima's 'special squad'.

You and Aki went years back, knowing him when he first joined public safety and when he had his hair short. Hell, even knowing him before he started his smoking habit. He was much more pure back then, despite watching his family flash before his eyes, he still had that glint of innocence reflecting off of his midnight eyes. Now he was gloomy, uninterested in everything around him besides his reason to strive, to dedicate his life to destroying the Gun Devil once and for all. His personality dimmed as well as his eyes, always staying lidded with a stern facade to hide the trauma from his cold past. After all, working in public safety, you were bound to lose your spark of clarity.

;;

To put it simply, you and Aki had an unprofessional relationship, starting out with light flirting, to late-night drinks at the best bars, to seeking out each other for comfort when work got too intense, looking for a stress reliever to wash all the horrid thoughts away. At first, he showed much love and care when you started linking, cooking breakfast for you before work, or running a bath with you while massaging your tense shoulders from the night before. He typically wouldn't do this for a link-up but he thought he cared about you more than others, and you did too.

Time went on, and he lost his desire for you, just wanting a quick fuck, not caring about your well-being as before. Now, the night typically would end with Aki shuffling to put on his clothes and leaving without a word nor a glance of acknowledgment while drawing a cigarette from his back pocket. As much as this sent warnings to avoid him in your head, you couldn't help but still be drawn to his deep midnight hair and his aura, heart yearning for more than just sex.

Aki eventually stopped responding to your advances, he ignored your late-night texts at 11pm or later, he ignored you as you tried to talk to him as he walked by, and he acted as if you were mere strangers. The devil hunter, found himself around Makima more, discussing his daily report of the latest devil to be slaughtered. Aki also found himself accompanying Himeno, taking a lengthy smoke break as she cracked some jokes to pass the time. You buttoned up your blouse more agitated than before, grimacing at the thought, shaking your head at the thought of him whispering how good you felt around him as he sunk into you, it was in the past, he didn't care like you thought he did. You slipped on your shoes before grabbing your keys, phone, and wallet and walking out the door.

;;

You walk inside, the bell clinging as you pushed the door open to one of the most familiar bars in Tokyo, the scent of alcohol charring your nostrils, leading to eyes wandering to your figure. "There she goes!" Himeno beamed as she saw you head toward the area the devil hunters resided. "Hey," you say in a neutral tone, feeling those dark eyes of his glance at you. You refused to meet his eyes, refused to fall deeper into the deep sea they withheld. "Glad you could join us," Makima says, her head resting against her palm. "Glad I could make it." you smile slightly, a lie. You sat down on the cushion between Himeno and presumably, a new devil hunter. "You can order what you'd like, the bill will be taken care of by me," Makima states as she takes a sip of her beverage. "Thank you Ms. Makima," you hum gratefully as you placed an order for your desired drink. A multitude of conversations was erupting amongst everyone at the table until Himeno slurred out, "Wait a minute, where the hell is Fushi's rookie at?" "Unfortunately, they were killed yesterday," Fushi responded. The scared faces of the rookies almost made you feel bad for them, but what could they expect? Your drink finally came out, taking a slow sip, savoring the burn it provided to your tastebuds.

The night grew older, the sun setting behind the clouds, nearly everyone was tipsy, including yourself. Some had even gone home already including Himeno as well as a new recruit named Denji. "Can we talk, outside." Aki said, clearly directing it at you. It sounded like a command and as if it was not a question. Avoiding causing a scene, you stood up, smoothing out your pants, and walked outside, him following behind you. "what do you want Hayakawa?" you glare at him, you put on a front as if you didn't care about Aki ignoring you, in reality, you wanted him back in your small apartment, laying beside you as the sun shone through the blinds, trying to sneak a few more minutes in bed before you both had to get ready for work. you attempted to avoid him to the best of your ability, which thankfully wasn't hard to do. The burning embarrassment of being let down hurt more than you'd like. The only time you had to come face to face with him is when you were paired up for missions, which in itself, was rare. Though you were not in the best state of mind at the moment, you still had enough consciousness not to tell him how you truly felt.

"You wanna come home with me?" He said, pulling out a cigarette, as well as his lighter. "For what?" you already knew the answer, but you wanted to believe differently. "To fuck, what else?" he said, putting the cigarette between his lips you wanted to kiss oh so bad. He lit the cigarette, slipping the lighter back into his back pocket, taking a deep inhale. "seriously? after ignoring me for months, you ask to fuck?" he was unbelievable. "Yea." was all Aki said, short and simple, how he preferred things. "I'm not going home with you." another lie. "we'll see" he grinned slightly, looking up at the now midnight blue sky, he didn't believe you for a second, he knew how tonight would end. You walked back into the bar, your mind racing as you thought with your brain and heart. Your heart yearned for him and his sweet touch, yet your mind was telling you to ignore him, he just wanted you for your body. you sat back down at the table where only 4 of your coworkers were left. "what happened?" one of them asked, earning a nudge from another, clearly perceiving it wasn't anything good. "nothing." you said, all you wanted to do was drink your thoughts away.

;;

Several drinks later you were spent, the sting of the booze did not help with your thoughts, just made them worse. You down the last of your drink, grabbed your things, and slurred out. "imma head home." Hearing a few words of acknowledgment from the devil hunters, you swayed out the door meeting those same midnight-blue eyes of his. "headin' home?" Aki said, puffing out a cloud of smoke. "mmhm..." you hummed out. "Let me take you there, yeah?" he said, flicking out his cigarette onto the sidewalk and crushing it under his foot.

You let him wrap his arm around your shoulder, leaning into it, cherishing it, because it didn't matter to you at that moment how long he would be there, you would cherish him as if it was the last time you'd see him, maybe it would be the last, who knew when he had a change of mind again.

BACK TO NAV. | © MMST4RZ 2023. please do not repost, modify, copy, use or translate my works on any platform.

[silvvermoon]

any elaboration on toxic bf! Aki??🥺🥺

yes!! so sorry i've had to disappear for a few days for health stuff and trying to type with new nails is hard haha. oh man, there's so many ways i want toxic bf! aki to go, here's some of my headcanons before i throw it into a proper fic. ALSO, these are tame af oh god i want him to be rougher :')

*YEAH this turned into a drabble good grief

toxic bf!Aki who's kinda clingy but subtle. just wants to keep his arms wrapped around you 24/7. doesn't give a fuck if it's the middle of summer, he just loves the way you feel.

toxic bf!Aki who does all the cooking and cleaning at home so you feel care-free and never wanna move out and away from him (yeah, he always cooks all your fave meals)

toxic bf!Aki who 100% tries to slips a hand down your panties ALL THE TIME. seriously, it doesn't matter if you're on your way to work or see friends, aki just wants to turn you on and have you ride his cock 24/7. he always feels closer to you when he's inside you so yeah, he wants to be fucking your brains out as much as you'll allow him.

toxic bf!Aki who says shit during sex like "keep your eyes on my face while i fuck you, baby. want you to know it's me who's splitting your cunt wide open", and "fucking love your body, love your the way your pussy tightens around my cock like it was made for me. and this princess cunt? it's all mine."

toxic bf!Aki who simultaneously loves showing you, his perfect pretty girl, off to all his friends and the whole damn world, but also hates knowing & seeing other guys oogling at you when you look so gorgeous. his fix? marking you the f up.

and toxic bf!Aki doesn't just mark you with hickeys in the bedroom when he fucks you, no, he loves to bite and nibble your soft skin in public, doesn't give a shit where you guys are. all he knows is that he loves the pretty bruises he's painting on your collarbone. it tells everyone that you're his alone, and the more that know that, the better. he wants everyone to see.

of course toxic bf!Aki doesn't tell you any of this though, doesn't want you to know just how much he likes staking his claim on you. whenever you complain, saying that hickey's make you look trashy, aki just nods and sprouts lies like "mm I know princess, but i get so easily caught up in the moment, just love touching you so much" and that's not really a lie, when he thinks about it

toxic bf!Aki 100% gets jealous sometimes but he'll never admit it. he's definitely not the toxic type to go through your phone or anything, but whenever he's feeling a bit insecure, he'll want you to show him just how much you love him and wanna please him.

and toxic bf!Aki wants you to show that love by getting down on your knees and deepthroating his thick cock until you can't breathe. he'll say shit like "i know you can do it because you love me, yeah? and you fucking love this cock, right baby?"

toxic bf!Aki will always reward you with his mouth though if you give him all your love. he makes sure you never waste a drop of his cum, wants you to swallow it all. your reward? his lips on your cheeks, on the tip of your nose, trailing further down until he reaches your soaking cunt, and then there's nothing you can do other than let him eat you out until you cum over and over again.

and yeah, toxic bf!Aki loves giving you pleasure, but he also loves the idea that you'll become so addicted to his cock and tongue that you'll never wanna leave him. he knows no one else can fuck you just like he does, no one can pull this many orgasms from you, and no ones gonna push you to your absolute limits like aki does.

[ataleinkedinred]

Atmospheric Akiangel with some some not so subtle foreshadowing. 😃

Fujimoto really was like 'Alright, what is the most gut-wrenching traumatizing plot twist I could possibly write?' What a legend.

Heavily inspired by "The loves of Alice Brandt" ✨

[lisaiese]

Once I finish my finals, I will read Chainsaw Man again just to write an Aki Hayakawa character analysis, because he deserves it so much.

[witchywcmans]

NEEDY. | AKI HAYAKAWA

synopsis ━━ you were in need of a roommate, and aki hayakawa needed a place that wouldn't ask any questions. you went to work during the day, while aki worked late nights. you basically had the apartment to yourself. it was honestly a match made in heaven. but then, you just had to come home one day and catch your roommate in a precarious situation. (aki x f!reader.)

content warnings ━━ voyeurism (just a wee bit), sex-deprived aki 🫶, but also possessive + jealous aki, masturbation, dirty thoughts + wet dreams, fingering, praise, multiple orgasms, classic missionary, unprotected sex, creampie, mutual pining/confession, kinda au (we're not mentioning the gun devil arc), aki has lived to see 26 + reader being a similar age, some religious imagery. nsfw (minors + ageless blogs dni).

word count ━━ 5.1k

song inspiration ━━ dealer, lana del rey / friends, chase atlantic / double fantasy, the weeknd

author's note ━━ hi.....hello.........so this idea has been in my head for a little bit, and I realize roommate aus like this are simply not that original, but god dammit I just needed to get this out of my head. anyway, I lurrrrrv sex deprived aki. shout out to my friend hollis for screaming about this with me hehe 💓

The most words you had ever said to your roommate were on the day you interviewed him before he moved in. You immediately noticed that he was strange, but also shy and seemingly harmless. When you had asked why he needed to move in so quickly, he had said something along the lines of a “toxic environment” with his previous roommates: “Denji and Power are just too noisy and reckless. They’re four years younger than me. I need a place less chaotic.” You had been interested in getting to know more – you were curious, after all, about your potential roomie – but once he mentioned that you’d probably never see him because he worked nights, you were sold.

Aki Hayakawa was your new roommate.

He had never been more excited to finally get away from Denji and Power and the tumultuous mess they had turned his apartment into. He was older now; he needed something for himself, even if it was with a roommate. Being a Public Safety Devil Hunter, he needed a place that didn’t think twice about him, a roommate who didn’t ask questions. That’s what he liked about you: your place was on the right side of the city, and you looked at him like he was normal. The Fox Devil said you weren’t going to be good for him, but Aki tended to ignore them anyway.

You had helped him move into your second bedroom just a week later and he hardly said a word, except to ask you who had formerly occupied this space. You were hesitant to talk about it at first, but you cracked soon enough: “My old best friend lived in here. We had rented this place together, but we … aren’t exactly speaking anymore,” you admitted, setting a box down at his feet. “I came home from work one evening and found my boyfriend cheating on me with her. It had been going on for months, right under my nose.” You looked away when you felt your eyes start to sting with tears, sniffling them away. “Friends come and go, I guess. But I’m thankful you, at least, worked out to rent this space.”

“Well,” he sighed, opening up the box as you turned back to him. He smirked. “I promise I won’t sleep with your boyfriend.”

You had laughed, and what a pretty sound it was. After move-in day, Aki was true to his word that you almost never saw him. You worked a normal 9 to 5, while Aki … well, you had no idea what Aki did. You assumed he was a security guard or something with the hours he worked and how he was always wearing a suit and tie. He was working all the time, even weekends. Sometimes, you would catch him coming home as you were leaving for work, or on Sunday morning as you ate breakfast in the kitchen. He would be too tired to talk, simply waving at you before retiring to his room.

It was almost like living alone … except for notes he’d sometimes leave you on the stove or the bathroom. Or the weekend mornings, when he’d get you a coffee and leave it out for you before going to his room. Or the once-in-a-blue-moon nights when you’d stumble in the early hours of the morning after drinking in the city with some friends, standing out on the deck with Aki as he smoked a cigarette. Nights like those, you could’ve sworn Fate was trying to get you two to see each other, because you would be arriving home at just the right hour and Aki would be getting off work early. And you would find him on the deck in his suit and tie, cigarette hanging from his lips, hair pulled up in his classic topknot. He would find you leaning against the railing in nothing but a short dress, the glitter on your lids making your eyes sparkle even more, and – god, you were just so pretty.

After that night, he started dreaming about you. He dreamed about how your lips would feel against his, what it would be like to have you sleep next to him and rest your head on his chest. He was consumed by thoughts of you under him, how you tasted, the way you’d tremble if he kissed that sensitive part of your neck you told him about one late night on the deck. His need for you was insatiable. In his line of work, there wasn’t much time for dating, let alone sex. He hadn’t been thinking about it that much, especially when he’d been housing Denji and Power, but now … he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Naked. Underneath him. On top. God dammit, he’d have you any way you wanted.

It made him wish he had acted on his instincts that night on the deck: pushing you against the sliding door, his lips crashing onto yours, hiking your skirt up that just barely covered your thighs and using his non-dominant hand (the one that didn’t shake) to feel how wet you were. But alas, Aki Hayakawa was a gentleman. 

You two had been living together for a year. He hardly knew you, but also knew you like nobody else did. He knew how you took your coffee – black with two sugars. He knew the brand of toilet paper you liked. He knew that you liked to hang your coats in the closet on the right side. He knew you drooled in your sleep, and what TV shows made you laugh, and how much your water bill was each month.

He was acting out in ways that were unlike him. If he came home from work and saw you had a guy over, he made his presence known. When you were at the office, sometimes he would go to your room just to smell your perfume, and other times he would steal your panties. (He always gave them back, feeling too shameful. But he did keep one underneath his pillow.) Some nights, he would pretend to leave for work early and you would retire to your room for the night, and then he would hear the familiar sound of your vibrator and – fuck, he had to go to work hard. Again. 

You were taking up too much space in his head. He was becoming distracted at work, thinking about what you were doing during these late hours. Maybe the Fox Devil was right: you weren’t good for him.

But he wasn’t moving out any time soon.

It was a Thursday after work and you were completely exhausted. After attending endless meetings and having to argue with coworkers all day, you left work early and were grateful to have a night alone with some leftovers from the night before. You had completely forgotten Aki telling you earlier in the week that he had this Thursday and Friday off, your mind preoccupied with work responsibilities. Sighing as soon as you walked through the door, you set your bag down and shuffled out of your shoes. You shut the door softly, at peace with the silence. You didn’t even have the energy to get out of your work clothes; you simply padded your feet to the fridge, plucking your leftovers out. It was only when you reached up to the microwave that you noticed the apartment wasn’t as silent as you assumed.

Sounds emanated from another room.

You got on your tip-toes, not wanting to make much noise if there was an intruder, and felt for the pocket knife you always kept on your person. Passing by your bedroom first, you popped your head inside. Empty. Hadn’t been touched since you left this morning. The bathroom was next, and you held your breath as the sounds got even more noticeable. You peeked into the bathroom and … clear. Linen closet: clear. Coat closet: clear. But the sounds only became more clear as you got closer to the end of the hall, Aki’s room, and –

You stopped in front of Aki’s bedroom, the door cracked just enough that you didn’t need to pop your head in to see what was happening. Aki was home, for once, and you … you were watching him through the crack in the door. But how could you not? You knew where the sounds were coming from now, because Aki was the one making them.

His dark hair swept in front of his eyes as he sat back against his pillows. He wore a white t-shirt, while his boxers bagged around his ankles. Grunts slipped from his mouth – that pretty, pretty mouth you'd seen wrapped around a cigarette. And his hand … his hand wrapped around his cock, pumping furiously – desperately – with a pair of your panties enveloping the head. The same red lace panties you thought you’d lost months ago. 

You almost considered walking away, making noise in the kitchen so he would know you were home, but then –

Then, your name left his mouth in a whimper.

He was stroking himself even faster, muttering your name into the silent room with your panties wrapped so nicely around his cock. He was thinking about you, wanting so desperately cum in your panties, wondering if you thought about him when you used your vibrator. You were frozen in place, completely fixated on him as he leaned back against his headboard, his face finally exposed so you could see the way his jaw went slack, the way he moaned out your name. And – oh my god, you should leave –

But you couldn’t. And deep down, you knew there was a dirty part of you that always wanted to see this. Ever since that night on the deck, when you were wearing your favorite dress and all that glitter, and you noticed that he was looking at you in a way a platonic roommate definitely shouldn’t. You had started to think about him late nights when you were alone with your toy. You brought home dates, wanting him to see, giggling when you recognized his jealous expression. You tried to wake up earlier, just to see him when he stumbled through the door. Once, you even did his laundry to smell the nicotine on his jacket. 

The two of you simply couldn’t help yourselves.

And when you watched him finally reach his peak, spilling into your forgotten red lace panties, you realized just how wet the ones you were wearing had become. You watched him grunt as he came, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat off his brow. And when he muttered under his breath a soft, “Fuck,” you couldn’t help the short gasp that left your lips.

Aki stalled. Oh, shit. You hadn’t been quiet enough. He sat up more in his bed, pulling his boxers up, and you whipped your back against the wall. You cupped your hand over your mouth, praying he wouldn’t come out and see. But he was whispering, “Who’s there?” And you only had enough time to move ten feet down the hall before you heard the creak of his soles on the old floorboards.

“Fuck,” he muttered, louder this time.

Your back went straight, and after what felt like an eternity, you slowly turned to face him. “Aki,” you put your hands up in surrender, “I didn’t see anything –”

“Oh, what the fuck,” he shook his head at himself, quickly walking back into his bedroom. You were stunned, not knowing what to do, as he continued talking to himself in the room: “Stupid fucking idiot not closing the fucking door. What the fuck? What the fuck? My worst fucking nightmare. Fuck, why do these pants always get caught around my ankles? I need to get out of here. Stay at Denji’s for the night. Fuck, fuck, fuck –”

He emerged from his bedroom, now wearing jeans, his favorite Converse, and a leather jacket. He tried to pass you without looking, whispering obscenities under his breath, but then you were tugging on his jacket, lips pressed together.

Aki paused, cheeks red with both embarrassment and anger at himself, but you didn’t let go of his sleeve. He noticed the redness of your face as well, the black of your pupils almost covering your entire eye, and were you … were you aroused?

Swallowing hard, your voice was but a mere whisper when you asked, “How long have you had those?”

He knew what you were referring to. It didn’t take an idiot. Your stares were locked, and despite his shame, he wouldn’t turn away. “A while,” he mumbled.

“How long is ‘a while?’”

“Months, okay?” His eyes narrowed and his voice took on a new tone. “Now, can you let go of my jacket so I can leave and save us both the embarrassment –”

“Months,” you repeated, licking the corners of your lips. His eyes were made of blue fire as he stared down at you, and even with your office attire on, you felt utterly naked beneath his gaze. “I’ve … I’ve been thinking about you for months too.”

Aki took a moment to process your words, and your grip hesitantly released on his sleeve. But he wasn’t – he couldn’t – let you get away so easily. His breath was shaky as he placed both of his hands on the wall behind you, pinning you to it. So many times had you two passed each other in this hallway, so many words left unsaid. And now, he was pressing you against it.

“You’ve been thinking about me … for months,” he thought out loud, leaning in a little and nosing your hair. Your scent was intoxicating. That perfume … he could cum in his pants just from smelling it. “For months, you’ve been bringing guys to the apartment to … to what? Make me jealous?” He chuckled under his breath. It took him so long to put it together. “For months, you’ve been touching yourself right before I leave so I go to work fucking hard.” His nose traveled down to your neck, grazing that spot you told him about, and you shuddered. “You’ve been putting me through the wringer and I didn’t even have a clue.”

“You’re … you’re not so innocent.” You tried to keep yourself together, but it was difficult with him pinning you to the wall and – oh, he was already hard in his pants, pressing into you.  “You’ve been stealing my panties so you can masturbate with them.”

Aki hummed quietly, pressing his lips so delicately to your neck, as if his cock wasn’t completely strained in his jeans. “I supposed I have,” he whispered against your skin, “for months.”

“Since that night on the deck,” you croaked out, hands balling into fists as he licked a stripe up your neck. If he didn’t stop, you’d surely moan. “But I didn’t say anything – didn’t think about saying anything – because … because we’re roommates.”

“We are roommates,” he said, lifting his head from your neck, his lips hovering so close to yours. “And if we’re just stating facts here, I’ve needed to kiss you since that night.”

You didn’t wait for him. Immediately leaning in, your lips pressed onto his in a hungry kiss. His mouth molded to yours, and he tasted exactly like you thought: like black coffee, cigarettes, those raspberry pastries he always kept in the kitchen. His tongue, slipping into your mouth, tangled with yours in a way that you had only dreamed about. Your hands released from their fists, instead reaching up to twist in his t-shirt, bringing him even closer to you. He’d hardly touched you and you were completely, utterly soaked. 

As if hearing your thoughts, his lips broke from yours for just a moment to beg, “I need to touch you.”

“Please,” you whispered back, and his mouth was back on yours.

He dragged one hand down from the wall (his shaky hand, believe it or not), still pressing you against it, and worked on unzipping your trousers. You nuzzled your nose against his as he kissed you deeply, slipping his hand in your pants, past the waistband of your panties and – you were exactly as he dreamed you’d be. Absolutely wet. Just as needy for him as he was for you. “Fuck,” he muttered into the kiss, spreading your soaked folds with two long fingers. 

Your lips tore away from his, a trail of spit following, because you simply had to release the moan you’d been holding in for so long. Despite loving the way your mouth fitted against his, he was glad for it, wanting to see your face when he started rubbing your sensitive clit. And fuck, was it the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Your fists on his t-shirt went loose as your body felt like it was made of liquid, angling into his. Your lips pursed, soft whimpers filtering out as he rubbed you in those tight circles.

“So fucking wet f’me,” he mumbled, grazing his lips over yours. “Dreamed about this for months. Fuck, I’ve gotten hard just thinking about this pussy.”

He finally dipped a single finger inside you, and your hips immediately jerked against his hand. Aki let out a shuddering breath when he felt how much you were squeezing just one finger, pumping it in and out of you slowly. “Please,” you whispered, despite his thoughts, “I can take more. I promise.”

You didn’t need to ask him twice. He shoved two fingers inside you, curling them against that spot that had your hips instantly bucking. “Fuck, Aki,” you whined as he plunged those fingers in and out of you, using his thumb to rub your clit. 

“Yeah?” He breathed. 

“Kiss me.”

Aki moaned from your words alone, kissing you hard while fucking you with his long fingers. He was practically drunk on you: your scent wrapped around him, you tasted like citrus, and the way bucked into his hand … god, he needed to fuck you. So bad. And if you didn’t want that, then he needed to jerk himself off immediately or else he was going to explode in his pants. The last thing he needed was another embarrassing moment tonight.

It only took seconds to have you sighing into the kiss, squeezing his fingers like a vice as you came. His thumb on your clit was relentless, taking you over that lovely peak, as you mewled and cried into his mouth. It was almost religious, the way you moaned, and Aki had never felt closer to God than in this moment.

When the adrenaline subsided, he slowly removed his fingers from you and broke the kiss. You watched him intensely as he brought the fingers covered in your slick to his mouth, tasting you. Your lips fell open slightly, eyes going wide while his own closed, savoring the taste. What the actual fuck, you thought to yourself. How the fuck have we been living under the same roof and it took this long for me to see that?

Without missing a beat, you pushed yourself off the wall, winding your arms around his neck and latching your legs to his waist. He lifted you as if you were made of air, kissing you so that you could taste yourself. Before you could even perceive how much time had passed, you were on his bed, blouse disheveled and trousers undone. Even your hair hadn’t left the updo you put it in every weekday. Your eyes flickered to the right and you giggled to yourself. He had finally shut the door.

His eyes remained on you as he shrugged off his jacket, and then his pants. He was back in the same outfit you saw him in earlier, when your panties had been wrapped around his cock like a birthday present. He hesitated before finally pulling off his shirt, and you saw the scars lining parts of his chest. Definitely not a security guard, you thought to yourself but decided not to ask about it now. You reached up as he stood between your legs, brushing your fingers over the scars, and then dragged them down his abdomen. His frame was thin, but he was more built than you believed, always hiding himself under those oversized button-ups.

He wrapped his hand around your wrist as you touched him so gracefully. “Do you want to …?” His voice was so soft, the question hanging off the edge of his tongue.

And then, you smiled up at him, looking like an angel. “Yes, Aki,” you whispered.

He felt like a kid in a candy store. The only thing – the one person – he’d been dreaming about and looked at him as if he weren’t a machine, or a gun with the trigger pulled, was lying before him and liked him. For months, they’d both said. His dominant hand was shaking as he started unbuttoning your blouse, and when you noticed (though you had observed this the day he moved in), you grabbed his hand and placed it on your cheek. With his left hand and your right, you worked together to undo the buttons until your chest was exposed for him. 

Moonlight streamed through his bedroom, the only light source in a seemingly dark area.  City lights reflected on you as you pulled your hair free from the updo, those pretty strands fanning on his sheets. His sheets. Because you were in his bed. The blinking lights from corporate buildings outside your little apartment created a halo around your head and – fuck, you really were something religious. For so long, Aki thought only hell existed. I mean, all the Devils were here, contracted to them. But seeing you splayed out so heavenly for him on his bed, he knew then that Angels had to exist too. 

He took his time taking your pants off, watching the way you bit your lip when the cold air of his room hit your soaked panties. Your eyes glanced up to his boxers, seeing the indent of his long, thick cock, and your mouth went dry. His fingers hooked on the waistband of your panties, slowly dragging down and throwing them off to the side, hoping you’d forget about them so he could pocket another pair. With you exposed and bare on his bed, he really took a moment to admire you: the way your cheeks flushed, how the halo around your head flickered, the way your arousal seeped out of your pretty pussy and your nipples peaked. He just had to touch you; it would kill him if he didn’t. Leaning down, he began peppering kisses on your neck, your collarbone, before finally latching his lips around one of those sensitive nipples. Your breath stuttered at the sensation, and he used his left hand to palm your other breast, twisting the nipple between two fingers. You writhed under him, and he couldn’t help but grind his clothed cock against you, groaning and swirling his tongue around your nipple in tandem. Locking your legs around his waist, you held him to you so he was forced to keep grinding against you. It felt too good, and he wasn’t even inside you yet.

He tugged on your nipple and released it, breathing heavily as his eyes met yours. “If you don’t let me go, I’m definitely going to cum before I’m even inside you.”

“Poor Aki,” you giggled, letting your legs fall back on the bed. “Would that really be so bad?”

His eyes were burning into yours, serious as a heart attack. “I’ve been fucking my hand to the thought of you for what feels like forever,” he whispered, pressing a light kiss to the valley between your breasts. “I don’t want to ruin this moment.”

Aki moved up so that his lips were hovering over yours again, and he could really see the sparkle of your irises in the moonlight. You reached in between your bodies and gingerly massaged his bulge, feeling how much he’d already soaked his boxers with precum. “You couldn’t ruin anything even if you tried,” you replied, your voice light and airy. “I’m on the pill. I’m ready when you are.”

“Shit,” he groaned at your mention of being on the pill, trembling as you massaged him. This had to be another one of his dreams. Just the thought of being inside you without the barrier of a condom … he was so close to completely exploding. He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve you, after all the hell he’d witnessed and brought forth into this world. But he couldn’t help himself. He needed to have you, roommates be damned.

He stood up, needing to get away from your gentle hand. You sat up a little to help him tug down his boxers, careful of that shaky hand of his, and his cock sprang free, dripping precum on the floor. Aki, ever the gentleman, laid you back down on his bed with ease, holding your stare as he spread your legs wide for him. He breathed, praying to whatever god placed you in front of him that he wouldn’t cum prematurely. He couldn't remember the last time he had sex, but he was so desperate for you that all he cared about was not tainting this moment, this dream. 

Aki grasped his cock, giving it a few hard pumps and grunting, before positioning himself at your entrance. You both seemed to hold your breath as he finally slid in, just an inch at first, and the two of you seemed to release that shaky, nervous breath. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned, burying himself further in your tight warmth, bracing his elbows beside your head. 

“Keep going,” you begged. “It’ll fit, Aki. Promise.”

You were going to kill him, he was sure of it. Aki had felt the way you squeezed his fingers, but it was nothing compared to pleasure of being inside you, feeling how tight you really were. So much better than his hand. Once he was fully seated inside you, he opened his eyes just to look into yours. Your lips pursed, legs wrapping around his waist once again, and you slowly nodded for him to continue. His cock twitched.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he muttered, sliding out of you before slamming back in. You cried out, carding your fingers in his hair, and he molded his face in the crook of your neck to muffle his own whimpers. You just felt so, so good – so good that he could cry. To think that his bed had once been so cold, so lonely, but now you were occupying the space, trembling underneath him as his cock slipped in and out of you. 

Your moans were like gospel. For so long, Aki had been used to loud noise: to Denji’s complaints, to Power’s shouting, to the Devils’ in his ear. But now, it was just you two on the altar of your apartment, silent except for your heavy breaths mingling and the sound of car horns outside. You were wet and slick like holy water, taking him so nicely despite his size, and god – it was like you were made for him and he was made for you. 

You tugged on his hair, needing him so badly even though he was already yours to begin with. He really would have you any way you wanted. All you had to do was ask.

Aki was already so close to release, but he needed you to cum with him. As he fucked into you harder, deeper, his cock curving against that spot that made your eyes roll back, he reached in between you two and found that swollen bundle of nerves in the apex of your thighs. “Aki,” you whined, tears pricking at your eyes as he rubbed your clit. He could die happily now that he heard your voice like that in his ear, knowing it was him that made it happen.

“Yes?” He said, breathless, placing sloppy kisses on your jaw. You clung to him, melting into him like ice cream on a hot summer’s day. “I’m so close. Are you close, angel?”

You whimpered at the nickname. “Almost.”

“Almost?” He fingers went a little faster. “Let’s get you there.”

As his two fingers rubbed tight, small circles on your clit, he angled his cock inside of you so that he could brush your G-spot with every thrust. You were now clutching onto him with all the strength you had left, entwining your body with his and feeling his muscles flex against your stomach. He was so deep now and you were so close and oh my god, Aki Hayakawa had you like putty in his hands.

And it was like he knew it without you even saying it. Because as your walls started to clench around him, he whispered into your ear. “Cum for me, angel. Please, please, need to cum with you.”

Your body convulsed, going tight around his cock as you came. Tears streamed down your cheeks and you called out his name, spurring him to fuck into you faster, reaching his own peak in the middle of yours. He groaned deep into your neck, hips stuttering as he spilled himself inside of you. You kept your legs around his waist, not wanting to miss a drop, and arched yourself against him, coming down from the high of your intense orgasm. Aki was still rubbing your clit slowly, whispering praises into your skin like, “Did so good me … So pretty … Could listen to you cum for hours.”

You two laid like that for a while, feeling his cock soften inside you, panting heavily against each other. Once he finally pulled out of you, your combined releases dripping down your thighs, you laid beside each other on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The silence was comforting, until he whispered, “Please, tell me that wasn’t all a dream.”

Turning your head, you smiled at him. “Do you feel this?” You pinched his arm.

Aki flinched. “Ow.”

“Definitely not a dream,” you chuckled.

[zeninprincess]

rehab; a. hayakawa

wc: 3.6k | aki hayakawa x reader | nsfw 🔞

warning(s): mentions of nicotine addiction 🚬, toxic relationship (aki is neglectful partner, reader is too attached to aki), power dynamic, gaslighting, p in v, cunnilingus, fingering, blowjob, creampie, breeding 🥧

aki keeps saying that you're the one needed him as if he didn't need you when you left him. but then again, maybe you did need him as much as he needed his cigarettes

a/n: purple prose, im trying to expand my english vocabs. sorry if it's annoying. ty for understanding!! also guess what songs inspired me to write this.

i. withdrawal

aki loves to smoke even though he knew it would hurt his lungs, however it's hard not to smoke. he knew it could kill him someday yet he still do the very thing that might end him. smoking traps the man in a vicious cycle of needing to consume and feeling guilty to the point he'd stop smoking for a couple of day but then, withdrawal would hit him hard and before he knew it, he relapsed.

it's a never ending cycle of hurt, guilt, and a desire to burn. its addicting and when it hits you, it hits hard. to say that you hate that aki has an addiction to something as bad as cigarettes is an understatement, although you yourself is addicted to something else that hurts you. and it was love. you love him even though it hurts you, even when it rips your self worth apart.

you found yourself crying to sleep after an argument, but just like a smoker to nicotine, you can't get enough of him. in the morning you'd come to him and everything will be fine. he’ll pat you on your head and fucks you good. to say you needed him is an understatement but it's not far from the truth. you couldn't shake the feeling that you needed him, almost as if you were addicted to his presence. it was more than just a strong desire; it was a deep-seated need that seemed to consume you.

waking up in the dead of night, you couldn't feel his presence on his side of the bed. the duvet was cold, mirroring his words a few hours ago when you two were screaming at each other over the fact he rarely comes home. the coolness of the duvet being a stark reminder of his absence.

you'd find him on the balcony smoking. he does this everytime he can't sleep. and when he's done he'd flick them out on the street. you watch him as he inhale nicotine and exhale smoke.

perhaps you two are more alike than you've realized. both of you seem drawn to the thrill of danger, the adrenaline rush of near misses. addiction, in its various forms, seems to have a hold on both of you. the highs and lows of your tumultuous relationship, much like the intense cravings and withdrawals experienced by those addicted to substances, keep you both coming back for more. it's a dangerous cycle, fueled by the intense heat of your passion, akin to the burning sensation of aki's cigarettes.

remember, addiction can be a destructive force, and if left unchecked, it can lead to devastating consequences. thrilling sensation and feelings of hunger for love destroys you little by little.

being with aki really deconstructed you as a person. the way he made you feel so lonely yet fills your loneliness it was a paradoxical experience. you also felt that you're the only one who's trying in this relationship, aki acts like a broken radio, echoing nothing back to you. he kept you waiting, hoping he'd say something back or repay your effort but it was met with radio silence. he made you question your desirability with the way he treats you.

he's not a jerk who hurts you physically nor did he fool around with other chicks, sometimes you wish he did so it'll help you hate him and justify your actions. he just doesn't give any attention outside when he's dicking you down, he doesn't really give you praise or express his love to you. he just doesn't care that much. it's torturing you. it really looks like a one sided love to outsiders who don't know that you two are together.

but you're no saint either. aki felt like you were too attached to him, unhealthily. but that feelings of your inability to live without him is a better feeling than being loved by you. he felt alive and sober with you needing him. he loves your effort, though he hated the way you keep uttering phrases like

“do you love me aki?” you ask with puffy eyes.

to him, he's a silent lover only showing how much he loves you through hard love and his own way. he prefers working hard til morning than to cuddle with you after waking up because he wants you to live a comfortable life. he'd rather risk his life killing devils just to get minimum wage than see your feet swollen after taking orders for 6 hours a day as a waitress.

“a question that need not be asked nor answered” he replied as he drew a big one.

“you never took me out on dates anymore” you nagged.

“woman i cook dinner for you every time i'm home, besides it's not safe out there what if some devil eats you alive? what then? i'm not paying for your funeral when we could barely feed ourselves” he said in his neutral tone. you rolled your eyes. “you're not even at home every day aki”

“and you never told me how pretty i am”

“am i just a free dishwasher who you only fuck whenever you wanted?”

“have you ever cuddled me these days?”

“i guess i wasnt wrong when i say you're cheating huh? i guess thats why youre rarely home”

“answer me aki!!”

you were growing desperate after each question. and still he's soundless.

“god i hate you. please let me go aki. please i beg of you” this doesn't feel like home anymore, the strange foreign beauty in front of you didn't even bother looking your way as you paced to the shared bedroom and pack your belongings.

“i'm leaving you for good. goodbye aki, may we never cross paths ever again” you say for the thousandth time as you put on your coat and unlock the entrance to your freedom. hearing the slam of the door he could only sigh knowing you’ll be back.

you always come back.

right?

a week passed by and nothing changed except you're gone now and it's eating aki from inside. he fell deep into a spiraling mess, he didn't eat, did not sleep, he never came home instead he distracted himself by working incessantly. afterall, his sanctuary was gone, and the lingering scent of your perfume stuck inside the 16 by 16 unit you two used to share and it brings him to reality that the only trace of you left was the unwashed dishes and messy duvet from the day you left.

he isn't the same man anymore, he was just a shell of what once was inside. lost in his thoughts which were dominated by you, he sighed. today he's smoking at the park where you two met each other for the first time. ashes fall to the ground. he flicks off the half burned ciggy, he finds it hard to enjoy the cigarette not knowing where you are and who you're with.

you had him blocked off on every social media, you changed your number, cut your beautiful hair to above the shoulder it was a much needed reset. staying in a cheap motel, you found solace in nicotine. aki was right, smoking helped numb the pain and for a moment it gave you the illusion that aki was near you smoking on the balcony like how it used to be.

“may you never forget me aki hayakawa and the pain you've caused me” you muttered under your breath.

ii. anticipation

‘ahh~ ahhnn’

‘s-shoo good!! harder aki harder!!’

“Fffuck” up and down the shaft he copies the rhythm from the video. aki watches you bounce up and down his cock on his phone. you're so pretty all sticky and flustered like that on top of him. his body trembled in pleasure, eyes shut tightly and toes curling as he heard you moan on max volume.

“fuck name i need you so bad” he cried out as he rode the highs feeling the building up orgasm. he reminisce how tight and warm your pussy was around his cock. his heart pounds as he reaches orgasm, he calls out your name, riding the orgasm. in his mind you were there lapping his tongue while going up and down pounding your cervix letting him fill you up with his cum.

the fluid overflows from the tip of his cock to the duvet under him. the video still playing on his phone, he was brought back to reality. sitting at the edge of the bed naked, post nut clarity hits him. aki puts on his boxer before reaching to the bedside table for his cigarette box. seventeen minutes past midnight, aki had found out that the box was empty, sighing he put on his jeans and shirt. he needed a quick fix, thus he went to the convenience store across the street which was a familiar destination.

inside the convenience store, he picked one cigarette between selections of many. he picked the one with cotton candy flavour. it smelled like your perfume that has long gone in the span of 7 weeks. he tried everything in his power to keep the residual odour inside. going as far as refusing to open the window and balcony but it was no use because in the end he had inhaled all the scent.

at the same time you were walking home from the waitressing shift which you took since you needed money to pay rent. kicking the rock on the curbside, you reveal white stocking underneath your miniskirt you had to wear as it's part of the dress code. walking down the street near your old apartment. you stop by a convenience store, a familiar figure was leaning against the glass window. neon lights illuminates the figure. a smoke came out of his system.

his hair were longer, eyebags presents itself, he noticed you walking towards him. was that really you? he thought to himself. you wore a long coat, a mini skirt and a white blouse that hugged your figure just right and your hair, it's shorter now he didn't think you'd look that good in short hair. he knew you'd come back, though a bit longer than what he had anticipated.

your heels clicking against concrete, his eyes glimmering with hope as you get closer and closer. you clutch your handbag tightly. you stand beside him, leaning on the glass window before falling to your knees crying exhausted. aki removed the cigarette on his lips and crouched down to your level.

“i hate you but i don't have anywhere else to stay” you confessed, chin resting on your knees. “you have me. i'm where you're supposed to stay at” he said, hesitating to pat your back. as excited as he might be, he couldn't express the fact that his longing for you had ended the second you made eye contact with him.

you tilt your head towards him, “i missed you”

“come back to me doll” he say as he opened his arm far and wide waiting for you to fall into his hug to which you didn't take a second to do. you cried in his arms. you keep relapsing back to him no matter what you do. it's a bad habit yet you don't mind if you destroy your life chasing the never ending fire.

you took his hand and walk back to your forever home with him.

iii. relapse - intoxication

he kissed you incessantly on the way there, groping you all over your curves. as soon as the door closed he took your coat off and ripped open your blouse. buttons flew everywhere. still kissing you, his tongue explores your cave, one hand cupping your cheek, the other one fondling your breast. he broke the kiss for a moment to regain his breath.

“let me show you the way i love you dollface”

he sucks on your neck leaving a red mark, grinding his hardness on your exposed black laced panties. your skirt rode up to your navel, aki pinned you to the door. “mmm aki~” you cooed as he bury his face on the crook of your neck.

he picks you up in the bridal style to the bedroom. you sprawl yourself onto the sticky duvet, god knows what's making it sticky. ugh. your attention snapped back to the man who's pinning you on all fours. chills send down your spine as you're half naked. the room was dark. the only thing that illuminates the room was the moonlight.

“aki i know you want me but-” you paused, parallel to his hand that were fondling your mounds. “i'm here to crash not to stay”

“yeah yeah keep yapping angel i know you” his pepper kisses on your mound felt like a rapid fire. using your free hand you unzipped his pants, freeing his member. “you think you can leave me that easily? nuh uh baby. you're addicted to me” that cocky remark really did something to you because now your folds are soaked.

“shit we got hurricane katrina under here”

after cupping your pussy through your panties he felt how damp it was. he slid it down to your thighs. his index finger circles your clit, you writhe in pleasure, moaning loudly as he keeps torturing your clit enjoying the way you tremble in pleasure each time his plush finger flicks your clit. “ahn- aki!!” you screamed, at this point your neighbours probably has heard your unholy mewls.

he undresses you properly before opening his clothes. you two are naked now. he sat on the bed. leaning himself against the headboard, his cock twitches. aki looks at you, he waits in anticipation as you begin to lubricate your hand with your spit. you pump your fist around his member, he moans as you move your hand up and down. lowering your head, his tip kisses your plush lips. precum overflows, god you are heavenly.

aki is enjoying your sweet time, licking and kissing his cock, worshipping him. he's afraid this feeling might turn into a full blown addiction, he loves the whole thing, the 7 weeks, the emotional turmoil he felt when you left, and the happiness when you came running back to him. he loves your hopelessness, he loves that you're addicted to him, and especially he loves the way you're choking on his cock right now. “s too big akii” tears running down your eyes, yet you keep bobbing your head on his shaft. such a hypocrite.

“you're acting as if we've never done this before baby” he grabs a handful of your hair and slams your head down to his cock. spit and cum pools on your mouth and cheeks. “god you're such ah~” he moans “s-slut” you fasten your pace and sucking on his cock harder to stimulate him. not long after you change pace, thick ropes of cum spurt on your mouth “ffuck” his eye rolls in pleasure.

this was so long overdue, it was what you two needed after all. communication maybe the key to a good relationship but nothing beats a good sloppy head. “you're so pretty. fuck when was the last time we did this?”

“um like 6 fucking months ago? since you're so busy you just go straight to bed” you replied with a hint of annoyance on your tone.

“get on all fours since you wanna be a bitch” he smacks your ass before getting behind you waiting for you to get on all fours. “jerk” is all that you can say before his tongue assaults your folds. and all you can do is shriek in surprise before you melt in his mouth. he flicks his tongue, eating you out, making out with your pussy. his hands grips your rear end you're positive it'll leave a nice red mark in the morning. he pulls out with a hitching breath with a string of saliva being the only reason his lips are still connected to your pretty pink pussy. “god you're so sexy” he watched your trembling body from behind your only response was to pull his head back to your pussy. “you're awful at this aki” feeling challenged, aki enters two digit inside while he sucks on your clit you can feel him smirking when you tremble.

feeling your pussy tightens, he pulls out his digits, denying you the pleasure of cumming. he smacks your ass with his hand again.

“uhn aki why did you do that” you changed position into laying back

he didn't mutter a word, instead he spit on his cock, preparing to enter you. spreading your legs apart. he looks godly like this, with his hair down, sweat trickling down his toned abs, and the way he eye you down like a predator preparing to strike its prey. he smacks his cock on your wet pussy.

“were doing it raw tonight, ill make sure you're pregnant with my bastard after this is done” he said

while waiting in anticipation, you watch him as he spit on his cock, lubricating it so it'll slide easier inside your tight pussy hole. you felt your core burning inside. then he spreads your legs apart, his cock dangling, sticking on your fold. using one hand he guides his long thick erect member inside you. you hissed as he brute forced his way inside of you.

“fuck- that's it baby, take it all” he kissed your forehead before licking your tears away.

“ngghhh aki~ i can't take it anymore”

“shh baby, you're doing so good” he starts moving in and out of your pussy.

fuck, he needed this, more than cigarettes. listening to your mewls and looking at your hair sticking on your bare skin, you drooling, pussy clenching his dick tightly just like the way you hug him, you just can't let go of him.

and it took him all his fibre muscle not to cum right now. you scratch his back just enough to make him shudder in pain and pleasure. he definitely needed to make you a mama. wet sloppy sounds echoing in the small room, mixed with a faint sound of bed creaking.

“aki I cant- I'm gonna-” he cuts you off by sucking your tits. “ahhh fuck. aki I'm gonna cum”

his mouth left your nipples, “yeah you're gonna cum f’me baby?” he looks at you with those puppy eyes of his that he only showed you when he's lovesick.

“fuck name, let's do it together. get pregnant with my kids yeah?” he asks you hoping you'd let him knock you up. your mind was hazy as climax approached you couldn't think of anything else but cumming. “yes! yes aki! please make me pregnant!!” he thrusts deeper before finally feeling how tight your hole is, clenching him tighter by the second. hot liquid fills your womb while you squirt your cum all over his cock. you felt a little touch of death, aki fell on top of you, arms around your waist, cock still snuggling inside of you.

heavy breathing paced between you and aki. he kissed your eyelids, spouting praises and sweet talks. you've never felt so loved before. face buried on his neck you struggled to breath with aki on top of you, and only you can know how nice it felt to be so closed like this even when you're crushed under his weight. aki, noticing the way you struggle to breath moved himself beside you. he grabbed a cigarette from the mahogany table near the creaking bed, he reached for the silver plated lighter adjoining the pack. this habit of cigarettes after sex wasn't unknown of aki.

“i know you'll come back to me eventually” aki fires away his sassy remark while inhaling the fumes. hands extending to his, you reached for the cigarette that sits between the plush pale lips of his. it's your turn now.

“my landlord kicked me out” you confessed. “i don't miss you aki” but this was probably a lie, a snort came out of aki as he eyed you. smoke escaped your lips while you were spatting out those words.

“you needed me name” but maybe aki did need you too, maybe more than you needed him. it's ironic how akis now the one addicted to the burning sensation of you, things have flipped around.

“you're the one that's been babbling about me til now. let's talk about how you actually feel bro. but for starters, fuck you and all of your shits aki. i missed you” sigh escaped your lips

“i want you to need me like you need your cigarettes. i hate to admit this but i'm jealous of the devils you hunt everyday, i wish you'd dedicate your time to me the way you dedicate it to do your job that doesn't even pay you that good aki. is it that hard to do so?”

aki took the cigarette out of your mouth. he sat up, his digits traced your moon lit skin, separating baby hairs that sticks from your forehead. “atleast tell me how much you care about me aki” he laughed at that statement not in a mocking way, but in a playful way.

“im sorry for treating you the way i've treated you”

love can be as addicting as nicotine, it's craving as intense, and withdrawal will always be as painful as a heartbreak. and just like a smoker needs their fix, a lover needs love to fill the absence they feel.

he ruffles your hair, finishing his cigarette.

“thank you”

even when you know all these are just talk no substance, you still feel at bliss. aki himself smiled before he kissed you and one day you'll learn that love doesn't need to feel like a nicotine in the sense of it's addicting. and that sometimes, it's best to let go of the remaining cigarette before it reaches the end of the stick and burns your lips. but for now, bask in the intoxicating warmth and the overwhelming intensity because rehab isn't needed when destruction feels this good.

©️ zeninprincess 2024. reposting, plagiarizing, translating or claiming my works are strictly forbidden.

[daisynik7]

Hi friends! I hit a personal milestone of +2k followers and I want to celebrate by taking us back to the early 2000s!

Send me your favorite y2k hit and which character you associate it with, then I'll write a little fic (~1.0k - 3k words) based on that. Include whether you want it to be smutty, fluffy, or both! I'm also open to writing some angst (but nothing too severe). Please read my rules/guidelines before you submit anything. UPDATE: This event is now closed for requests, thank you all for participating and reading!

Examples should look like:

"Toxic" by Britney Spears for Toji Fushiguro - smut

"Crazy in Love" by Beyoncé for Kento Nanami - fluff

"Heartbreaker" by Mariah Carey for Eren Jaeger - smutty angst + fluff

If you have a particular lyric you want incorporated or a specific trope/scenario, please include that in your ask! And if you need some inspiration about what song to pick, this is a good playlist on Spotify. If you think of another song, but it doesn't fit into the "y2k" era, send it to me anyways! This is all just for fun :)

Thank you all so much for helping me reach this milestone and for celebrating with me! Let's sing our hearts out and have fun!

Playlist:

"Photograph" by Ed Sheeran - Toji Fushiguro angst

"SOS" by Rihanna - Suguru Geto smut + fluff

"Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado - Toji Fushiguro smut

"Me & U" by Cassie - Satoru Gojo smut

“Slow Down Baby” by Christina Aguilera – Eren Jaeger smut

“Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado – Jean Kirstein smut

“I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor” by Arctic Monkeys – Reiner Braun smut + fluff

“Try” by Nelly Furtado – Suguru Geto fluff + smut

“Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls – Eren Jaeger fluff + smut

"All For You" by Janet Jackson - Aki Hayakawa fluff

"Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne - Kento Nanami fluff

"Into You" by Fabolous (ft. Tamia) - Connie Springer smut + fluff

"Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado - stripper!Nanami smut

"How Do I Breath" by Mario - Eren Yeager angst

"Work Song" by Hozier - Nanami angst + comfort

"Meet Me Halfway" by Black Eyed Peas - Jean Kirstein fluff

"Extra Smooth" by Aaliyah - Suguru Geto smut

"Gimme More" by Britney Spears - Kishibe smut

"Fallin'" by Alicia Keys - Kishibe fluff + angst

"S&M" by Rihanna - Toji Fushiguro smut

"Make You Feel My Love" by Adele - Toji Fushiguro fluff

"Drank In My Cup" by Kirko Bangz - Connie comfort/smut

"Love Never Felt So Good" by Michael Jackson - Nanami fluff

"Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake - Suguru Geto angst + fluff

"Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer - Nanami fluff

"Glamorous" by Fergie - Nanami smut + fluff

"Earned It" by The Weeknd - Levi smut + fluff

"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga - Toji Fushiguro angst + smut

"Freek-A-Leek" by Petey Pablo - Eren and Jean smut

[arabaka]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ hayakawa aki x (fem)devil!reader. CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ !!! MEAN AKI. light dacryphilia. hair pulling. tail pulling. ROUGH sex. cervix fucking. light belly bulge. choking. m!receiving oral. references to gagging. THIS SHIT IS TOXIC.

WORD COUNT: 3.7K PSD CREDIT !!! MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI !!!!!!!

NOTE: THIS IS PART 2 OF MY AKI x SEX DEVIL PIECE. recommend you read part 1, but also can't blame you if you just wanna get down 'n dirty with this one lol.

TAGGING: @jotar8 (ty for ur patience <;3)

Of all your contracts, Hayakawa Aki has to be your most coveted. You miss him, crave him when he’s not around. 

The memory of the taste of his dick on your lips is so vivid, you can revisit it anytime you like. You can practically smell it, his musk that permeates your nostrils as he runs the tip deep down your throat. Thoughts of Aki infiltrate your brain and trick your senses, allowing you a blissful reprieve from whatever poor schmuck you’ve got writhing underneath you. Not a contract, just a wealthy benefactor you keep under your thumb so Public Safety doesn’t get their grubby little hands on you, the acclaimed SEX DEVIL. The thought of wasting away in an over glorified prison cell is revolting… But you would get to see your treasured Aki more. 

Now the gears in that perverted little brain of yours are turning. You’ve never lingered in the government building for long but they’ve got to have offices in there, right? Maybe Aki has his own, a nameplate on his door signifying professionalism and prestige but you’d be in there, on your knees and sucking him off until all you can taste is his cum, salty and erotic. You could picture it; dressed so poise and clean, Aki with his hands on you– oh how rough he’d be and cursing you under his breath but you’d know it’s because he’s ashamed to be so weak for you. Your pencil skirt wrinkled, pushed up and over your hips, Aki would fuck you over his desk until his papers are all strewn and forgotten because nothing else would matter so long as he’s stretching you to his length and width. 

“Hey,” You breathe wistfully, uncaring that your suitor hasn’t finished, “Can you drive me to Public Safety?” 

On a mission, your strut into the Public Safety offices is laser-focused. Click-clack-click-clack go your heels in hurried succession, each step imbued with filthy determination. Your thighs, hugged tight by your narrow skirt, tend to the budding friction in your panties. Your mouth watering with every rub, you buzz all over with anticipation. Now all you have to do is find him.

An easy feat, a thwip of your tail and you’re pointed in the right direction. You just know these things; it’s part of the connection that forms when you create a contract. Now, devils running free in Public Safety is hardly acceptable. You attract attention anywhere you go and now is no exception but all you have to do is bat your eyes at the nearest agent, wrap your lithe fingers around their forearm and ask, in that alluring, coquettish voice of yours, “Where’s Hayakawa Aki?”

You have time to kill in this office they stuck you in. It’s not Aki’s, doesn’t have a shred of his identity but it has been lived in. You spot a black suit jacket hanging on the leather chair’s back post, its outline highlighted by the flood of sunshine pouring in from the rear. Drawing near, you start to see flecks of some sort of animal fur, probably a cat, littering the sleeves and canvas. You swipe a finger along the cherry oak desk, you come up free of dust but there are coffee stains that litter the surface, but only on the right side. 

Curiosity piqued, you rifle through the drawers. The first is brimming with manila folders, every tab color coded and titled with neat handwriting. You see the names of devils, past and present, no doubt eradicated by the office’s last habitant. Your lips crease to a frown on instinct; you hardly spare a second to mourn, it’s unlike you, but seeing so many names, realizing you could easily be one of them if Public Safety sees fit brews a discomforting feeling in your stomach. Enough of that.

The second drawer proves more interesting. Now there’s some personality. Fake plants in ceramic pots litter the flooring. There’s postcards, some from places you’ve never even heard of but the pictures easily transport you there all the same. Then there’s cards of condolences. You flick through them, reading references to hunters you’ve never even heard of. Probably part of their team. Then you come across a photo frame. Still within its borders rests a picture of a man, most likely in his early 30s. An old age for a devil hunter. He isn’t alone in the photo; accompanying him is his family, a little boy the spitting image of his father in his mother’s arms. 

You recline on the chair with the photo in tow. You don’t recognize any of the faces. You don’t feel too much either. How could you? But you do start to picture Aki. Whoever is in the photo, whoever last occupied this space is dead and gone. You don’t care. But Aki? You care. A little.

And that irks you. In all your time on earth, you’ve stuck to the same creed. Don’t chase but take what’s yours. And what exactly are you doing? You came to the office on a whim and now YOU’RE waiting for a human, a devil hunter. You tell yourself it’s because you had a craving. You’re simply fulfilling a selfish desire. You hate what the silence in the room is doing to you. Making you think too hard about what should be nonissues.

Fortunately, the quietness is ripped right from under you when the door opens. “Excuse me.” He must not be expecting you for him to be so cordial. You toss the frame back in the drawer and lean forward with interest, propping your chin up with hands clasped. You have a smirk as devilish as your nature, keenly watching Aki’s expression and body language cheapen when his eyes land on you.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” The stoic glaze over his pretty blues melts away by flames of indignant annoyance. You’ll extinguish them soon enough. There isn’t much he can do to keep himself from going under, not with your innate ability to charm and seduce. 

“Don’t be so mean.” You say with your bottom lip jutted out in a mocking pout. You won’t take anything he says to heart. You have enough on your hands in that area. “I was bored.”

He’d roll his eyes but he can’t seem to part his gaze from you. It’s already started. A chill crawls up his spine. He wasn’t expecting to see you, not when he still hadn’t called on your power in battle. That was your whole deal, wasn’t it? You’ll lend him your strength, so long as he takes care of you beforehand. If he never summoned you, he’d never have to see you. That’s what he’d rationalized, anyways. You left him feeling far more vulnerable than he would have liked, than a devil even deserved, during your last encounter and as good as it felt, your cunt clenched so tight around his cock he couldn’t imagine pulling out, Aki struggled with the compromise.

“Not my problem.” He tells you, still curt and clearly inconvenienced. But you spot the slight wobble in his knee, the fight in his body to walk away and that’s when you strike.

Rising from your spot, you saunter over to the front of the desk. His chest tightens, dress shirt creasing under his tie, as he watches your full outfit come to view. Your attire says office but your body screams sex. Every inch of you is hugged so perfectly by your getup, it’s downright sinful. You bask in his gaze, taking a seat with your legs dangling off the counter. “You like?” Your nylon covered thighs brush against each other, making for a tempting sight. 

His response is slowed, careful even, “Are you going to leave?” The hook in his voice still indicates frustration but you can see from the way his brows are knitting tight that he’s buckling. His fists ball up; maybe if he hits a pressure point, he can subdue your effects. He’s only kidding himself. He hasn’t forgotten how quickly he fell under your spell the last time. He knows how virulent your succubus scent is.

“Mmm,” You muse aloud, feigning contemplation, “Didn’t you just come back from a mission?” You leave your seat, heels stamping the tiled floor as you work on closing the sizeable distance between the two of you. “You must be frustrated. Don’t you wanna work that off? I can help.”

To be frank, the last job was a bust. What they thought was a lead on a piece of the Gun Devil turned out to be a farce. Not only did they have to clean-up work, they had to expunge the lying fiend associate. So yeah, you’re right on the money when you pinpoint his attitude.

Now you’re standing, body pressed to his while your fingers trickle up his chest. “Oh, what’re you so upset about?” Fingers now admiring the plane of his neck, you murmur, “Are you still hung up on our little arrangement? It’s not like you were conned into anything.” You look at him through narrowed eyes, watching his lips curl. Still not rousing an answer from him, your voice starts to sing, “You humans are such fools. You’ll give up an arm, your golden years, even your first born. But sex is where you draw the line?” 

Your fingers twiddling with his earrings, Aki’s hand comes clasping over your wrist in a grip rivaling that of a constrictor’s. His bite is venomous however, when he snaps, “You ever think with that head of yours?” Your chest stills. You’ve never heard him speak so loud before. 

What’s that look in your eyes, Aki wonders. Could it be… Fear?

No. That would humanize you.

No, the look on your eyes is foul. It’s wicked. It’s aroused.

You’ve caught him off guard again, you can tell by the way his pupils dilate and his lips part for a small gasp. “I guess not.” He grunts. Now just when did he get his hand on your other wrist? He starts edging you backwards, jawline clenched before releasing to say, “You sure do a lot of talking for a devil whose only good for their pussy.”  

“Oh yeah?” Your footsteps stutter at first, but once you acclimate to Aki’s pace you’re set. Your  gaze is aggravating. Aki wants nothing more than to stamp it out. You can tell now that the fire in his eyes is from a different source, that the blood is flowing south entirely now that you’ve irked him. How your little devil heart rattles with lust. 

Your bottom bumps against the desk’s trim. Aki’s hand swipes, balls up your hair so fast and so hard that tears prick your waterline at the sudden force. “Yeah. What makes you think you know shit? You think fucking around makes you an expert on humanity?” You can practically feel the frustration erode as he manhandles you, whipping your hair higher until your heels struggle for support. He watches your nostrils flare, the column of your neck flexing with every strained gulp. The tension in his slacks tightens the longer he stares at your eyes, already glossy with tears.

Your head bobs with a sharp inhale, your legs trembling out of sheer thrill. “You wanna know what I think?” He doesn’t, but he’s quiet long enough for you to answer, a devious lick to your words as you taunt, “I think you’re scared of intimacy. What was it? Your mom? Your dad?”

Aki’s last tether to all rationality breaks.

You didn’t know. How could you have known?

Aki kicks, striking behind your knees, your balance wavering as your legs give out. He shows little regard for how rough he then spins you, forcing you to the desk at record speed. Your chest is crammed against the surface until it hurts, until you’re sore. 

Your tail whips wildly, thrashing from the slit in your skirt until Aki seizes the appendage in an airtight fist. He tugs at first, watching you screech and wriggle in pain until he pins you down with his other hand flat on the slope of your back. “Huh, I wondered if you felt anything with this.” He’s vile, openly taunting you but it’s what you deserve. You really shouldn’t have brought up his parents. 

Your cheeks, squished and hot, might as well be searing circles into the desk. Right next to the coffee stains. 

Your limbs scramble under Aki’s hold, though you freeze, if only for a moment, when Aki jerks your skirt up and over your ass. He digs into your stockings with the ridges of his nails until the fabric runs, then tears over the mound of your pussy. You gasp, but make no mistake; you are rife with lewd adrenaline at this turn of events. Now with access to your panties, he yanks the useless fabric until it slithers down your legs, still encased by your stockings to a degree. You arch your back, sticking your ass out and expect his fingers to plunge right into your heat but you’re asking for a nicety you haven’t earned.

No, because the next thing you hear is a zipper and then his slacks dropping a heap. You feel the contour of his cockhead tickle your entrance, but only for a fleeting second because the next thing you know, Aki’s slammed his entire length into your pussy with no warning, no warm up.

“S-Shiit.” He groans. Loudly. You cough and choke, spit flying as Aki hoists your ass up with calloused hands curling madly into your hips. They find the groove of your bones and latch on, like a lion to its prey. You’ll have friction burns curved into your flesh by the time he’s done with you.

The singular rip in your tights multiplies under Aki’s animalistic grip. Now your whole ass is exposed, the flesh jiggling every time Aki throws his entire weight into his thrusts– which is neverending. The vibrations, they engulf your entire body. Your frame goes thump-thump-thump against the desk and you can’t do anything to stop it. But would you want to?

Your pussy puckers around his girth, slick squelching right out of you everytime Aki gives you an inch of breathing room. Joining the chorus of scandalous sounds is the sharp smacking of his balls, drooped and weighty, and on the apex of their swing, they graze your clit juuustt right. Your moans waver with unconstrained panting, spit dribbling off your bottom lip. That’s the only downside with this position; Aki’s pressing so deep, manically drilling against your cervix, but he can’t even see the pain in your face as he splits you open. He wants to see those tears stream down that smug face of yours. Maybe some other time.

“This is – hmph, hhng – what you wanted, right?” His throat teems with thunderous groans, pummeling into you and bullying your walls until he’s certain you’re bruised on the inside. “Speak up, can’t hear you.” He’s at your ear, teeth threateningly close to snapping. For all the shit you were talking, Aki’s surprised you’re suddenly so pliant. 

Your cheek drags along the desk, smearing your fluids, be it spit or tears, together until you’re wet and messy in the face. Your lips smack together, trying to find words but your brain is overwhelmed each time Aki stuffs himself so far inside you, you swear you can feel him bulging in your stomach. “Y-Yes, A-Aki!” You manage but it’s not enough.

“Hayakawa.” He snarls with a smack to your ass and then another. He doesn’t stop until his surname is the only audible thing coming out your mouth. It’s addicting, the burn that scorches his palms on every impact. The fat of your ass swells, flaring up and quivering under the harshness of Aki’s palm. All the while his cock, twitching and engorged, pierces you mercilessly. He even starts pulling on your tail again, knowing you feel the burn. He wants to hurt you. 

But he also can’t continue fucking you without acknowledging how otherworldly you feel. The blood’s gone to his cock and his head, leaving him with a sense of euphoria that has his thighs tensing every time he pistons in and out of that sloppy and wet pussy of yours. Your walls crown him with a warmth that has his dick twitching against that firm cervix of yours. He can’t stop now that he’s felt you this way.

Your walls bump and grind against the prominent veins snaking up and down his foreskin. The friction they gave you has the color draining from your knuckles as you claw at the desk for some semblance of support. You knew Aki was a monster in bed, learned that the last time, but you had no clue you would wake up this level of beast in him. He’s practically feral.

The next moan from him goes on for a stretch, breaking in between breaths as he rolls your cunt up and over his cock. You aren’t calling the shots here and your pretty little mouth isn’t running a game it can’t handle anymore. “Now, how about you say sorry?” Punctuating his suggestion with a harsh plunge, the red tip of his cock directly on your cervix, he laughs when he sees you squirm. He could get used to this, come to terms with using you as a walking fleshlight if it meant he could unleash pure havoc on your body.

“S-Sorry?” It’s not an attempt at an apology; you’re just not sure you heard him right. The constant, raucous noise of your ass clapping and jiggling against his pelvis as you take him all the way to the base has your eardrums feeling dulled, numb even. Your folds ache and your clit pulsates as Aki ruts into you, rounding out his spine as he lurches forward again. This time he has his fingers wound so taut around the width of your neck, it’s making the room fuzzy and your head dizzy. 

“Not good enough. Try again.” He hisses, his hips never once stopping their abuse on you. You can feel the density of his cock bloat around your walls, a rush of blood no doubt fattening him up. You cry and whine, your stomach distended by his dick. Still not what he wants so he takes to standing upright again, dragging you along with his hand still at your throat, forcing your back to arch until you feel your nerves seething. 

A string of apologies comes out so quick and so fucking weak. Look at you. Getting fucked within an inch of your life, feeling pain and pleasure mix in your folds, skin slimy with your essence and Aki’s precum, and apologizing. “I-I’m sorry, H-Hayakawa! S-Sorry! Sorry!” You yowl until he’s satisfied, but not before he lifts your feet an inch or so off the ground and beats your throbbing pussy with all his anger, all his resentment, all his cock. His hand still on your throat, he squeezes and he makes you see stars– no, the whole fucking universe.

He knows he’s going too far, but by whose standards? His? Yours? You’re a devil; mercy should have never been awarded to you in the first place. You were one that had a foul mouth and an even more rotten tongue, taunting him like that. All you cared for was his cock so how could he be wrong for giving it to you, albeit rough and wild?

When he cums inside you, it comes gushing out. It’s so dense that globs of it come seeping out your pussy, your entrance so swollen you feel the hurt radiate in your bones. It’s a good hurt though, because you’ve cum all over him in splashes that rival his just moments after. 

He lowers you but then he has you on your knees, glowering when he barks another order, 

“Clean me up.” Flicking his wrist, he smacks his cock, drenched in your juices and his load, against your cheek and enjoying the popping sound that comes from your lips as he does.

You blink, lashes absolutely soaked in tears, but do as you’re told. You take his cock to the hilt, cheeks hollowing at the very size of him. The room is quieter, but now flooded with the sounds of you slurping and lapping him up. You swirl your tongue swiftly and deftly as you run your mouth along his cock but you start to gag, not because you can’t take him but because you haven’t had a good gulp of air in so fucking long. He isn’t letting up though, keeping you at the base of his shaft until your nose is scrunched and squished against his pelvis. He looks you dead in your eyes, brows furrowed nice and deep but he’s obviously winded too.

He’s trying to hide it, the rise of his chest with every shallow inhale through his nose. His head feels hazy, clouded with the remnants of lust that still linger in the air. All your doing.

“You gonna behave?” You have never nodded faster. He slides his cock so smoothly out of you, but you’re left to sputter and drool on yourself. “Shit.” He stumbles on his footing, his orgasm clearly still wreaking havoc on his system but you hold your tongue. You still haven’t stopped your lungs from burning, after all.

When Aki is fully dressed and you’re still a mess he’s left on the floor, he speaks, “Don’t pull this shit again. You should know better, exposing a devil hunter’s contracts like that.” You stammer, something akin to an apology but too incoherent to string together. That’s fine. He’ll take it. “You want to fuck so bad? Then you’re gonna be at my beck and call.” 

Oh, he’s cold… But you got what you came for, didn’t you? “O-Okay.” You manage, lips puffy and voice strained.

“Here.” Aki offers a tissue– no, it’s a handkerchief. “Keep it. You’ll need it.” His soul is a little wracked with guilt for the brutality he just unleashed but he’ll sleep just fine at night. “I’m leaving now. Don’t follow me.” He orders you like a dog and like a good bitch, you listen.

And when you’re the only one left in the room, handkerchief wrinkling your hands, you exhale.

Shit. And you still have those fucking feelings of yours.

[notiddygothgf]

MASTERLIST!!!

(⇏ ; one shot) (⇒ ; long fic)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Tokyo Revengers

⇒ party monster! : wakasa x f!reader // in progress ⇒ you're no good for me (but baby I want you). : dilf!imaushi wakasa x reader // in progress ⇒ pretty thing: rindou haitani x reader // in progress ⇒ tuyo será: kurokawa izana x reader // in the works ⇏ MUNCH! : imaushi wakasa x reader

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Jujutsu Kaisen

⇒ smoke and mirrors: choso x reader // in progress ⇒ my kinda love : nanami kento x reader // in progress ⇒ our love, my love : suguru geto x satoru gojo // in progress ⇏ best friend's brother : choso kamo x reader // complete ⇏ cake by the ocean : choso kamo x reader // complete

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Chainsaw Man

⇒ shameless: aki hayakawa x reader // in progress ⇏ boyfriend: aki hakayawa headcannons // complete ⇒ [???]: toxic ex! aki hayakawa x reader // coming soon...

(back to master post) | taglist

[sipsteainanxiety]

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖ valentine's day brings promises of chocolates and roses, hugs and kisses, smiles and laughter. but this year it also happens to bring along something more... bittersweet ˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

welcome to dark chocolates, a multi-fandom valentine's day collab brought to you by the teahouse, a discord server ran by @petrichorium and myself. you will find stories of romance and love, yes, but with a twist!

the deadline for this collab is, of course, valentine's day, so expect pieces to be posted around then and subsequently updated on this masterlist! you can also track the #teahouse collab: dark chocolates tag for fics as they are uploaded.

please be mindful of the tags listed for each fic. we hope you enjoy all the following wonderful pieces written by the wonderful authors in the server. happy reading! ❦

for you, anything by @tsukkismoonlight

pairing: nakedtoaster x reader

mentions: general warnings around breakups, thoughts/anxiety related to self image/self worth

summary: you've sworn off love. after the way your last ex treated you, after all of the heartbreak, and all of the nights you lost to someone who didn't care, you have had enough. or, that's what the plan had been. you wouldn't have guessed that a tiny fan server with less than ten members hid someone who made everything feel like all of that pain was worth it. and you, they'd do just about anything.

idk man by @antheawritings

pairing: onion thief x reader

mentions: character death

summary: dead grandpa :( but it’s okay bc sexy onion man :)

cacoethes by @venexus

pairing: aki hayakawa x reader

mentions: prior toxic relationship (reader & unnamed ex), romantic tension, smoking

summary: cacoethes (n.) - the urge to do something inadvisable.

alternatively: when you escape a toxic ex, your favourite work colleague is there to pick up the pieces.

untitled by @petrichorium

pairing: diluc ragnvindr x reader

mentions: sfw, royal au, reader is explicitly female, canon typical violence, family death, mourning

summary: in which after five years spent rampaging amongst the frigid tundras and snowy forests of snezhnaya in the aftermath of his father’s death, crown prince diluc ragnvindr finally makes the journey home with a life-threatening injury—and an unanticipated companion.

standing still by @lou-struck

pairing: wakatoshi ushijima x reader

mentions: breakup angst

summary: you have been together for years, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

a persistent lack of follow through by CooPigeonCoo (ao3)

pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

mentions: exes, breaking up & making up, angst with a happy ending, personal growth, drinking, sexual content, child abuse, humor, pining, natural disasters, serious injuries, domestic fluff

summary: shouto had learned a lot from his father; how to take a hit, how to pull himself back up, and how to hold a grudge.

but one thing endeavor could never teach his children was how to be a good partner.

shouto had to learn that particular skill the hard way.

-----

he had spent long, sleepless nights reflecting on the things you had told him; the reasons you left. every moment of your acquaintance was turned over repeatedly in his head and examined until one devastating conclusion was reached:

"i was a bad boyfriend," shouto muttered dejectedly, idly picking at the label of the shochu bottle in the middle of the table.

----- a story where shouto loves, loses, and learns.

the night train by @pikatsum (tumblr) / Undercover_Royalty (ao3)

pairing: midoriya izuku x reader

mentions: SFW, some angst, hurt/comfort, fem!reader

summary: “what, did we both get dumped, tonight?” you ask, ever tactless in the face of silence.

through the sniffles, the hooded man gives a little jolt that might have been a laugh. it’s a start, at least.

when the night calls by @sipsteainanxiety

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

mentions: char death (bkg) but not reaaalllyyy, aged up chars (25+), supernatural elements in a pro-hero au, grief/mourning, horror-esque but it's romantic i promise, hurt/comfort

summary: you thought katsuki was gone—that he had abandoned you in this life to move on to the next. you saw his body—lifeless, cold, still. saw him get lowered into the ground in his dark casket enveloped in his hero colors. you stayed, for hours after the funeral, at his grave.

you thought he was dead. that he'd left you alone.

you were wrong.

[angstigone]

WARNINGS: discussion of toxic masculinity, denji being a teen, implied that reader has anxiety and they paint their nails.

«alrightie, I am all done» you said promptly, setting aside everything on the table and meticulously closing the nail polish bottle «... tell me how you like them».

denji was quick to arch his fingertips as he had seen power do, after the torture that you had made him go through for the past half an hour, by filing his nails, coating them with transparent shit before passing the bright orange.

"it isn't too girly, right?" he had questioned you after he had chosen the color, attentive to your reaction as you good-naturedly shook your head and went to retrieve the bottle "... although it's already bad I allowed you so far".

still, although denji couldn't help but worry he'd be emasculated by wearing nail polish on your existence - "denji, anymore neglect and you'll have paws not hands!" - the result wasn't half bad with the color being bright enough to match his personality.

«I like them!» he promptly screeched, getting up while you urged him to stay seated, grabbing him by the hem of his sweatpants « do you think I'll pick many chicks with it?».

«first you need to let it dry, ladykiller» you ushered him, as he plopped himself down, holding his hand in front of his chest as if it was radioactive «and I am glad you enjoyed it. I do destress by putting on nail polish and as aki isn't around...».

«you pant aki's nails?» the thought startled denji, or better it unsettled him as if the sole notion had him confused «... he lets you?».

«mmh» you nodded lightly as if it was obvious, instead «girlfriend privileges».

«so... if I get a girl, she'll... she'll do this every month?» it hadn't been so bad and maybe he'd have some 'boyfriend privileges'.

«more like each week, as that's normal nail polish and it'll chip within the hour» you said slightly grimly. and not answering his question at all.

«then why do you do them?» your nails were always impeccable and albeit denji had noticed a few chips, you'd have a fresh color by the next day. maybe the toxic fumes from the nail polish had fucked with your brain.

and hayakawa's that allowed you to paint his nails.

«... if they don't last».

«because I like them».

it felt like such a silly reply and denji lightly tilted his head in confusion as if the answer itself felt like a question.

«... panting nails makes me feel good with myself and I think that's all that should matter. whether you are a boy or a girl».

«power isn't either. and I am not human... anymore» denji pointed out on the monster that had been your previous test subject, who sported pretty barbie pink nails and you had had to lock down the nail polishes so she wouldn't paint meowy's nails of the matching color.

«alright, alright. whether you are human or not» you lightly showed your tongue to him which had denji lightly fluster.

still, he couldn't protest anymore as the door opened, signaling that aki was likely off work.

and he could now be the one indulging you, although denji couldn't see how he'd allow you to paint his nails.

he didn't think that he had even seen a speck of color on aki's nails, although they were indeed groomed far more properly than his own; still, they didn't hold a candle to your colorful ones.

«I am home!» that confirmed it as denji did scatter off, a bit still ashamed of being caught with his painted nails by the sole other male member of the hayakawa household, although you cursed out to him to remind him that the nail polish was still fresh.

all of this conversation went back to denji once, after a mission, when aki went to retrieve his pack of smokes, he noticed something on his pinkie finger.

a black stain that got him thinking it might be a weird bruise or something. but upon coming closer he noticed that it had a strange shape.

an heart.

he wanted to tease him lightly, but he couldn't help but think it was cute.

strange on hayakawa, but definitely cute.

and it made him feel even more like he might just need a girlfriend.

[ingoodjesst]

this is mostly a ramble in response to himeno hot takes that she lacks depth or readings that fawn over aki while dissing himeno and it's like. i know i shouldn't take it TOO seriously but idk lol neither this manga nor aki himself would be what it is without her

like take this with a grain of salt ofc, but some ppl in the fandom have these visceral negative reactions to himeno that i really feel miss the thematic importance she has both in the overarching story and to aki in particular. i mean listen, it is 1000% okay if you simply do not like her because of her actions towards denji; she's a fucked up character, she's not supposed to be justified in everything. yeah i find her supremely interesting both in spite of and because of her doing genuinely bad things in a very human way, but not everyone comes out of that actually liking her which is fine

that said, if you try to engage with the story while ignoring himeno, you will lack a full understanding of csm and of aki hayakawa as a character. she just encapsulates so many of the manga's themes at only a third of the way through. like, the way that being single-minded and dealing with your traumas poorly can lead to ruin. the way that we can have complex relationships that we hang onto even when they're imperfect or toxic. the way that love is a dependency and can be deeply unhealthy, but that doesn't stop us from still wanting and needing to depend on others and continuing to try over and over again anyway because without vulnerability we will never find true connection. the way that the ones we lose live on in ourselves, precisely because we cared and connected with them - enough to contextualize their lives, enough to cry over them. the way that easy revenge is the first step in aki's journey to realize that the pursuit of a grand cause he could never pull off alone anyway is not the only thing that can give life meaning, not when there are the little victories and the people you love that you don't wanna lose (again).

i mean i think it's worth noting that in the end, aki still gives himeno's family half of his life's savings because that connection ran too deep to ignore, even long after she was gone. because even if she was the first death in the story only about 30 chapters in, himeno's presence echoes throughout the narrative and haunts you like a ghost one last time to remind you that yes, she was and always has been there.

[ao3feed-asaden]

Melancholia Romanticism

by amywinehousedeservedbetter “It’s your fault”. The boy had dropped the knife, falling onto the floor screeching his ears. The scratch’s leaving minor dents. The room was dark and gloomy, the only color being the stained red on the deceased man's body. His words echoing into the child’s head.   It’s your fault It’s your fault It’s your fault It’s your fault It’s your fault… In the kingdom of Motosega Dynasty, Denji a child of an addicted gambler gets adopted by a Yazuka member whom works for the rival nation; The Phetia Empire. Under the new leadership of Queen Makima, the nation has made every attempt to hide her past however after a ball everything goes wrong causing a chain reaction that could potentially cause war. (Chainsaw Man Royalty AU: Weekly / bi-weekly updates) Words: 6191, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Chainsaw Man (Manga), Chainsaw Man (Anime) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M Characters: Denji (Chainsaw Man), Mitaka Asa, Pochita (Chainsaw Man), Makima (Chainsaw Man), Yoru | War Devil (Chainsaw Man), Fami | Famine Devil (Chainsaw Man), Reze (Chainsaw Man), Barem Bridge, Kishibe (Chainsaw Man), Power (Chainsaw Man), Hayakawa Aki, Himeno (Chainsaw Man), Higashiyama Kobeni, Yoshida Hirofumi, etc - Character Relationships: Denji/Mitaka Asa, Denji/Reze (Chainsaw Man), Makima/Quanxi (Chainsaw Man), Hayakawa Aki/Himeno, Angel Devil/Hayakawa Aki, Mitaka Asa/Yoshida Hirofumi, Kishibe & Yoshida Hirofumi, Mitaka Asa & Reze (Chainsaw Man), Denji & Hayakawa Aki & Power Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Inaccurate language, Philosophy, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Toxic Relationships, Songs from 21st century (sorry for the inaccuracy), Angst, Fluff and Angst, Death, Grief/Mourning, Destroy yourself, more tags will be added via https://ift.tt/VF4NMYC

[heatwa-ves]

Hi Tia!! I am making a "toxic/healthy, doomed/happy-ending yaoi" compass thing, and Strawberry informed me that you know stuff about akiangel, so I come to you with a question: Is akiangel toxic, healthy, or somewhere inbetween? I figured that they are pretty doomed, but I wasn't really sure of their dynamic !! Sorry, this is really random lmao

hm that is a very good question actually. they're 100% doomed but I'm not sure where I'd put them between healthy and toxic mostly because my interpretation of them is like they would never be in a relationship and I don't even know if there's any romance there particularly on angels part.

probably I would put them somewhere in the middle mostly because of their dynamic towards the beginning we have aki "I hate all devils I need to kill them they're evil bla bla" hayakawa and angel "humans can die and I wouldn't give a shit lmaoo" devil they didn't particularly like eachother (mostly aki didn't like angel and angel was just kinda indifferent) but like they're not really toxic also there's all this

literally I hate them soooo much they're the worst ever. I would love to rant about them at all times.

ALSO you absolutely have to show me the compass when you're done this is something I need in my life

[mmst4rz]

MM'S MASTERLIST !

CHAINSAW MAN, チェンソーマン !

all works under # —🍦

— A CHANGE OF MIND - TOXIC!AKI HAYAKAWA public safety, special division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, being obligated to go, you went, but left with someone you yearned yet loathed, aki hayakawa. (7/4/23)

JUJUTSU KAISEN, 呪術廻戦 !

all works under # —🪿

— TBA.

MY HERO ACADEMIA, 僕のヒーローアカデミア !

all works under # — 🦈

— THE PRETTIEST - MIRKO Mirko finds you prettiest when you're humping her thigh like a rabbit in heat. (5/29/23)

AVATAR (THE LAST AIRBENDER + LEGEND OF KORRA) !

all works under # — 🤍

— TBA.

MISC.

all works under # — 🐑

— TBA.

BACK TO NAV. | © MMST4RZ 2024. please do not repost, modify, copy, use, or translate my works on any platform.

[bicodeofhonour]

i think i drive myself insane on purpose bcuz i do seriously spend so much time THINKING about relationships in the fiction i consume but i also despise people who only interact with media for “shipping” and OF COURSE THOSE r the ppl with monopoly on meta/analysis on relationships in general fandom space....