#kim dokja's story makes me want to live and be a better person for the people around me every day

[meownhi]

had to do this once i saw the template (by @/_ksgi on twitter) <3

unbloodied tim drake under the keep reading & weird details about my brain in the tags :D

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Orufrey: "They're tragic wlw who have devoted their lives to each other since they were kids. They live together, they cook together, they're raising four girls together and they're doing the best they can. Olruggio would do anything for Qifrey if Qifrey would just Let Him 😭 but Qifrey is dead-set on protecting Olruggio and keeping him safe and in the dark no matter what it costs... i cant 😭..."

"Man I don't know they just have the vibes. They have toxic yuri energy but they are two grown men. They've known each other since their apprentice days and have stuck together ever since. Qifrey's main magic type was something he took up because Olruggio proposed that he learned to control the water he feared. They live together away from most of society with Qifrey's four apprentices, living the sapphic cottagecore (ateliercore???) dream. Qifrey, due to the fact that his eyesight is very much failing, something which is very problematic when it comes to witches, who need their eyesight more than most, is getting very desperate to get all he lost to the Brimhats, the witches who took one of his eyes and his memories, and Olruggio ends up noticing this pursuit and is implied to have done this more than once. Qifrey does not want Olruggio to know about both his failing eyesight and his goals, so he ends up completely wiping Olruggio's memory of those things, and laments that Olruggio is a kind person, and one who would most likely forgive him again, but also one who would try to save him, even when he didn't want to be saved. He also apologized right up until the moment Olruggio's memories of his secret were gone. In general I think chapter 40 is the somewhat toxic guy yuri chapter ever. I'm very tired so I do not know how to explain any of this, I just thought "wow Orufrey reminds me of this one poll I saw on Tumblr" and then spent three days straight hunting for your blog before completely forgetting my reasoning for Orufrey being yuri right before I submitted this."

For Joongdok: "Well first of all Yoo Joonghyuk has a whole arc that is transfem coded as hell (has a power/technique that can technically only be used by women but somehow he can also use it, for a time he even turns into a woman to wield it and it's. Actually just let me get the quote "The ines of the face had changed but it was clearly Yoo Joonghyuk. No, it was even more than before.") that just kinda happens,, and doesn't get brought up again but anyway. Second of all just look at them. You see the vision. Also a bonus observation is that these two often get shipped in a poly ship with Han Sooyoung and whenever I see people make a "regular couple, yaoi couple, yuri couple, I see no difference love is love" meme with them the combination of which pair among these three is which of the categories is always different"

Note: This submission also mentions Han Sooyoung, but I decided to count this polyship submission as guy yuri as well.

"They love each other, they pretend they don't care for each other but all their actions prove they care too much, if you remove someone from the trio then the resulting duo is extremely dysfunctional, as evidenced by more than a million words of canon. Is it technically guy yuri? Well, Han Sooyoung is a woman, but in a way she's one of the guys. Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk are men, but the text heavily hints that Yoo Joonghyuk is a trans woman who's just too busy and stressed out to transition yet, and Kim Dokja has just never thought about his own gender a single day in his life. They made the world for each other, they went back in time countless times and waged countless wars for each other, they wrote and read and lived a story, their story, for each other and that's what saved them all. The way Han Sooyoung writes Yoo Joonghyuk's story to save Kim Dokja and loses herself in the process, the way Yoo Joonghyuk voluntarily lives the story to the point of losing himself too and even forgetting why he originally decided to do it, the way Kim Dokja read Han Sooyoung's story which was Yoo Joonghyuk's life and that's how he found himself, they all took so much from each other and gave so much of themselves to each other, this is all very yuri."

"they're so yuri you have no idea. they have every staple of a yuri ship. unwavering devotion. waiting dozens or thousands of years for each other. dooming themselves and the world for each other. so much yearning. i also see them genderbent a lot (including inn canon in the case of yjh) and they're right both of these people are women. i genuinely can't even see them strictly as men at this point they're just yjh and kdj and they are yuri do you understand."

"they're so yuri. the abscense of yuri is the presence of yuri etc etc. these two guys are all ABOUT abscenses. also one of them is a part time woman. the other guy is a guy but like in the same way a square is a rectangle. anyway they're so guyyuri to me. bonus points also because they have a mutual girlfriend and when she's present they're girlyaoi but that's not relevant to this specifically"

[lizhly-writes]

laying facedown on the couch. au where kim dokja's dad realize he's being a terrible human being and 1) gets sober 2) actually makes an attempt at parenting.

that's too early of a change. kim dokja grows up with two present parents and a far more emotionally healthy childhood than his canon self. imagine that! a childhood where neither of your parents were murderers; a childhood where you were never called a son of a murderer; a childhood with no murders involved at all, not even your own.

there's no reason to find any ways to survive a ruined world if your world was never ruined, you see?

at this point... that's a completely different character, isn't it?

kim dokja was his mother's child, and in his childhood, he learned from her example.

here, this is how you read a book. here, this is how you show love. see, it's fine, sweetheart. It doesn't matter what happens to me as long as the people i love are fine. i know it hurts, but that's love. this is the only way i know how to love at all.

it's true that i haven't read this story in a while. i've forgotten some things by now. still, i think he learned the art of self-sacrifice from her.

it's that tragic backstory he's got. there are some characters whose every action bears the shape of their past. that's kim dokja. what is he without tragedy?

his father never dies. his mother never leaves him alone. this is a different sort of love than he should have learned. he grows up decently liked and decently treated. an average korean man, by all standards. it never, ever occurs to him that he should protect people he loves by throwing himself headfirst into the fire.

picture this: two identical men turn twenty-eight. the first man has at least two messages from his parents congratulating him and perhaps mentioning going out for a birthday dinner, and possibly some friends he made in high school. the second man doesn't have any messages from a real person at all, because no one has fucking bothered to remember his birthday except for those automated "get a free <item> on your birthday!" promotion deals.

come on. there might be some nuance there, but it's not hard to decide who's living the happier life.

knowing this, you have to wonder: why?

in some alternate timeline, kim dokja has a much more well-adjusted life. why is that? why was it that this kim dokja's father decided to sober up, for once? what changed?

it's hard to say whether that timeline is better than what actually occurred. without his mother's example guiding him, without the lessons beaten into him as a teenager, would kim dokja have reached the end to the story he'd wanted? would it still be worth it after everything was over?

still, you have to wonder: why was it that timeline and not this one? "why was it you and not me?"

you can come up with a thousand reasons, driving yourself mad trying to figure out why. did your father love you more there? were you a better child in that world? somehow, were you more worthy of happiness?

...that's enough.

kim dokja lives a happy, normal life. you don't need to see anymore. this isn't a timeline you need to watch. doing so makes you... unhappy isn't the word.

whatever. it doesn't matter. let those windows flicker off and away, glimpsing into some other possible past and future -- this is only one worldline out of many. it's not even one you need to watch. it's unimportant. it's not the story that you loved - love -- so much.

go on. forget about it. you've forgotten so much already. one more story doesn't make a difference.

that kim dokja could never be you.

[aingeal98]

hello hello! i saw your post and need your thoughts and verdict (hypothetically) for yhk in the last chapter. what would yjh and hsy do once kdj woke up, what if he never woke up and remains unreachable to them after all the effort?

thoughts on doksoo/ joongdok centric and which (poignant) scene makes a neuron lit up and go ah, them. and makes you go crazy, like, every single scene might as well an orpheus and eurydice-d, such as that "cancel your skill, kim dokja"

DHGFVJDFGV sorry you're just such a joy to read on the tags as you go through the story on tumblr since the yhk tags are most often then not, lifeless

Aaaaa thank you for this it's a fun ask! :D

Personally I believe Dokja woke up. Both because I want a happy ending for them and because I wouldn't put it past yoohan to track down and kill everyone who read orv and imagined a sad ending. But also I think him waking up is only the first step. There's no way things aren't complicated afterwards because Dokja will feel guilty for putting his friends through the trauma of losing him and his friends will try and convince him that he deserves love and they don't mind but at the same time the trauma is real and it's there. So it's going to be a long road to helping him forgive himself even if they all have done so already.

I feel like YJH would be pushy at first. Like this is the guy who became a terrorist rather than try therapy. He wants to find meaning through Dokja, to ask Dokja how he's supposed to live now, and that's a lot of pressure that none of the others will want to fall on Dokja's shoulders. Which I think will be good for HSY because it let's her fall into the comfortable zone of yelling at YJH for being terrible at expressing himself and ignoring her own terrible emotions as much as possible in the mean time. So I kind of see it like:

YJH & HSY: Screaming clawing kicking biting each other outside the hospital because HSY thinks YJH is being too pushy with Dokja and YJH thinks he's helping both of them by asking Dokja for guidance and HSY is getting in the way of his recovery.

Sangah, calmly pouring herself and Dokja tea inside his hospital room: So I spoke to your mother today and she'll be here soon! Oh don't worry about those two they'll probably only break a few bones.

But then if he never did wake up... I don't think either of them would be able to truly move on. I think they'd keep hoping that he would get better and the longer he doesn't the more the likelihood grows that one of them snaps and comes up with another reckless life threatening plan to increase the odds of his recovery. I'm not sure what it'd be but I like to think HSY is the one that snaps first this time. Just goes up to YJH like "hey are you ready for me to subject you to more horrendous torment for the slim tiny chance that it could make Dokja wake up" and YJH is like "naturally".

Whether they actually succeed or whether their plan is so terrible and hopeless that Sangah has to step in and force them to accept he's gone (an impossible task but she'll push them as close to the acceptance stage of grief as she possibly can.) I'm not sure. Either way it'd be fun to read about. I haven't looked into the side stories yet but I'm curious if they might make me change my mind about any of this. For now this is how I imagine it going down anyways.

Doksoo are insane and they consume my every waking thought. Reading the webtoon after the novel is so crazy because HSY really shows up as this random villain and no one including her has any idea that she's one of the three most important people in the universe. Like she's just a little fella. A prankster who's pranks sometimes involve murder. And the way she and Dokja are so unimpressed by each other and have no idea how much they'll end up loving each other... I feel like rereading any early doksoo interaction is going to come with extra loud clown music like even Dokja calling her a plagiarist and Sooyoung being like ugh you're such a cliche like oh you dumbasses. You have no idea.

I enjoyed both doksoo and joongdok's early banter a lot like it always added a ton of energy into every scene. But the moments it really clicked for me was the whole reincarnation island arc for doksoo. Like reading his narration about Sooyoung it's like ohhhh my god he's down bad. He's as in love as I am. He doesn't even realise it but he is so enamoured by her. Like that was the moment I could see the potential for them to become as important to each other as they did. The foundation and foreshadowing was done so well, not one bit of their relationship progression felt unearned.

And then for joongdok I think it was their divorce era that really got me on board. Like they were fun in the early stages but once Dokja is convinced there's no going back and is actually emotionally vulnerable and honest with YJH and YJH gets to vent his own frustrations about being nothing more than a character... It really solidified their bond for me. It brought Dokja down to YJH's level rather than the reader he was trying to be to YJH's character. Plus we get HSY dying and traumatising Dokja for once instead of the reverse. It's what they deserve.

Also punisher and transfem YJH and everything that's implied in the novel and how that would add to to her dynamics with doksoo. Haven't gotten any solid thoughts on that yet but the concept is slowly taking a grip on me.

So yeah after the reincarnation island arc I was so fully on board with this ot3 and every single Orpheus moment that followed hit right into my heart.

Sorry this is so long and barely scratches the surface alsjsjdhdh. I'm still processing everything but man. What a story. What a trio. Wretched mirror soulmates with toxic codependency my beloveds.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

Honestly i have so much sympathy for Ailette and the way she mischaracterises Tesilid.

like i myself also fixate on certain parts of the story and extrapolate maybe a bit too much - although in my defence i've only read like half the story.

-but the same can kind of be said of Ailette? This Tesilid is having a new, currently-being-written chapter of his life. In fact she kind of has things even worse, because her characterisation of Tesilid is based off OG!Tesilid, but current Tesilid had his life and outlook irreversibly changed when they met aged 10. But they never really interacted enough afterwards for Ailette to realise just how much of an impact she made on him. She hasn't really had a strong reason to rethink her characterisation of him. Not to mention that she first read the book with her middle school reading comprehension, which. Probably coloured her interpretation for the worse, at least a little.

I really wish Ailette would go into more detail about her own experience as a reader, to really see better how she's viewing this world and its people.

Which paragraphs are the ones that she thinks defines Tesilid's character? (Mine is "I'm praying that they'll all fail the test and go home".)

Which are the ones that made her cry? (Mine's "Right... you're on the side of this world.")

Which are her favourite silly Tesilid moments that make her so fond of teasing Tesilid? (iliac bones)

Which are the ones that reverberate in her head and which won't leave her alone? (Mine is "Please... show me some of that petty mercy too.")

I feel like the fun part of these kinds of isekai story is that. Whatever reaction you had towards Tesilid, be it "wow what a cute kid" or "i'm going to cry, i need to wrap him in a blanket where the world can't hurt him anymore" or "actually he should just destroy the world tbh i would support him", she's been there first and has been doing for at least 10 years, she's the OG. And she's super intense about it too. Like she can say "I need to save him because the story dictates it" all she wants, but the way she reacts so intensely and immediately to Tesilid in danger really speaks volumes of how much emotional investment she has in this guy. Like idk if she really rotates him in her head as much as I do - that might be a me problem - but if you rotate a character in your head enough times while fixating on certain moments and not others, you probably would end up with a biased interpretation of the character. Especially if you don't have someone else to bounce ideas off. And this gets worse if you're actually living in the character's world, because characters in stories serve certain narrative functions, so all their actions which get included in the narration are inherently biased towards portraying them in a certain way that serves said narrative function. But humans are a lot messier and more dynamic.

i just. shakes her up and down. love the concept of an isekai protagonist and the OG protagonist that they love so much.

anyway this whole post is a testament to how much Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint changed the way I interpret fiction and especially isekai stories. Not me anthromorphozing Ailette as if she's really a person and fellow fan who exists and isn't a character lmaoo, i'm definitely not having a "we're all fragments of kim dokja" moment, no sir. i definitely didn't subconsciously draw connections between ORV's isekai'd MC and myself and S-Class Heroine's isekai'd MC and our commonalities as readers who rotate the same story in their heads very many times, and suddenly make a realisation that's actually more relevant to ORV than the actual story that prompted all this. one whole year after i last read ORV, because ORV's story is So Much and so monumental that i'm still haunted by it and figuring it out and it lowkey never left my mind, even after a whole year. (please read orv.) like there are a lot of otome isekai stories about isekai'd MCs realising that the people in their lives don't line up with the OG characters, but none of these stories ever made me viscerally realise what it was probably like for kim dokja, because none of them had isekai'd MCs be that unironically obsessed with their OG protags, and more importantly none of them made me constantly rotate the OG protagonist in my head the way S-Class Heroine does. Han Sooyoung was right, you get as much out of a story as you put in to reading it and re-reading it and re-interpreting it. By putting so much time into S-Class Heroine I accidentally made some relevations about the other story that I was always trying to figure out at the back of my mind. Holy shit.

[irlkdj]

ORV AND THE POWER OF CHOICE

I’d like to start with Kim Dokja. From the very beginning of the novel, he made the claim that it was easier to be alone. That is was “comfortable.” Despite this proclamation, he lays his life down time and time again for his companions. He /chooses/ a harder path: a path of love, a path that he was never shown personally.

"I really don't understand it. Why are you helping me, Hyunsung hyung and the noonas? If you are alone... you would be able to survive better."

He could calmly speak such words before his death. Maybe this kid's mind was already dead.

"Yes, you are right." Another ground rat fell to the ground with its head cut off. "It is comfortable to live alone, eat alone and survive alone. But..."

The “But..” really takes me out because he’s saying it is easier. But I don’t want easy. I want you. I want all the problems that come with saving you. I want to die for you. I want to be with you until the end of this.

He makes the conscious choice to protect his companions, shielding them best he can from the dangers of the scenarios, even if it comes at the cost of his own life. He doesn’t ever consider the unhealable wounds his companions are left with when he sacrifices himself. I think this is him attempting to protect people the way he yearned to be protected. I see this especially with Shin Yoosung, Lee Gilyoung, and Lee Jihye. 

“I saw the party members screaming in despair.

[ Why are you trying to save them? You can see the ending even if you live alone. ]

‘The ending is only meaningful if they are there.’”

“It was all planned and ahjussi used us for your purpose. Let's say we are characters of that damn Ways of Survival and everything is set!" Lee Jihye was crying, watching me while biting her pallid lips. ‘Then… why did you throw your life away for us so many times?’”

“Answer me! If we are really characters in a fictional novel, why did you die for us over and over?”

“Tell me that I did good until now – whether I made the wrong choices or not, whether I would get to see the desired conclusion when I reach the end of this story or not.”

“Kim Dokja's salvation was cruel. Like rescuing a drowning person with a blade, those saved by him were inflicted an unhealable wound.”

Now I’d like to talk about Han Sooyoung. The woman who made the conscious choice to save that boy who thought he couldn’t be saved. I want to remind you, Kim Dokja isn’t anyone extraordinary. Which is why Han Sooyoung’s love for him is so.. special. At the end of the day, Kim Dokja was just a kid struggling with abuse and the arrest of his mother. A kid who liked to read. A lot of Kim Dokja’s story is about learning that it’s actually /okay/ to let people care about you. It’s not selfish to want people to love you, or to yearn for a family. To wish you could’ve had more than you did. Han Sooyoung gave up every single one of her nights and slept her days away to write for him. To most, Kim Dokja was just a lousy employee, a quiet guy who wasted his days away on his phone. But to Han Sooyoung, that man was worth destroying the entire world for. She made the /choice/ to save him. Her actions prove that you don’t need to be amazing to be worth saving. You don’t need to be the “main character,” and you don’t need to sacrifice yourself to be worthy of the care others so desperately want to give you. Sometimes, people just genuinely love you. Even when it feels impossible, or as if we are undeserving. Han Sooyoung making that decision. The decision to save Kim Dokja, to /love/ him. I think that’s one of the most powerful things we can do as human beings. To choose to be there for someone. To choose to show up every day. To /choose/ to do things that hurt because we want to ensure the wellbeing and happiness of another. Han Sooyoung would do it all over again. She wouldn’t take a moment back. 

This brings me to YooHan—something we need to talk about more. Han Sooyoung essentially crafted Yoo Joonghyuk, looked at him and said: I am going to destroy your life to save someone. And Yoo Joonghyuk said: okay, I will let you destroy me. I will watch my world fall to pieces over and over again. I will suffer. I will be put through agony. I will question why any of this is happening to me. I will struggle every day with the meaning of my miserable life. And I will carry this burden with you. Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk did everything they could to save that lonely Kim Dokja. I often think about secretive plotter when he found out about Oldest Dream. When he was exposed to the reality of his agony, when his tormentor was finally revealed. But when he set his eyes upon that sad, pathetic, lonely little boy crying and repeating “I am Yoo Joonghyuk,” it was all.. okay. His story had saved someone. Secretive plotter who has been drowning in an eternal misery was almost.. content. And Kim Dokj was confused by his reaction. He couldn’t comprehend why Secretive Plotter wasn’t lashing out at Oldest Dream as Dokja had tried to do. This couldn’t possible be the ending he wanted, right? How could he be okay with this. He should kill that monster. That /monster/. He should end his miserable life for all the torment he put him through. That monster.. is me. I am a monster. Who could love us. Who /would/ love something so vile and useless. Who would possibly care about the well being of me. 

Yes. Han Sooyoung created Yoo Joonghyuk. And much of his story is about his sense of agency, struggling between the lines of what was written for him, and the choices he made based off his own free will. And while Yoo Joonghyuk was written /for/ Kim Dokja, Han Sooyoung never wrote that he would /love/ Kim Dokja. Again, he made a conscious decision. He made the conscious choice to love that man. Yoo Joonghyuk always felt as though things were out of his control, like his actions were not his own—a puppet, just as Secretive Plotter described him. But he /did/ make his own choices. He loved his companions. He loved Han Sooyoung. He loved Kim Dokja.

Han Sooyoung /chose/ to write that story. Kim Dokja /chose/ to read it. And to some extent, Yoo Joonghyuk /chose/ to live it. 

I think orv has a lot of themes. But at its core I really do believe it’s about learning that even when we feel like the worst person, the most horrible, disgusting, and unlovable monster on planet earth, someone out there will choose to love you. Again, I say choose intentionally here. To choose to remember the things someone loves. To choose to be there when they need you. To /choose/ to shoulder their burdens despite your own which you are already carrying. Someone out there wants you to exist. Someone out there wants you to live. Orv teaches its readers that if we are all a little patient, maybe someday someone will choose to love you. Someone will decide that yes, you are worth moving Heaven and Hell for. I love you, despite your issues. I choose to love you because you can’t love yourself. I will show you how much I love you when words can’t express it. One day, I hope someone writes a story for you. And I hope that one day, you will no longer be lonely. And finally, understand what it feels like to be loved. 

[your--isgayrights]

You're like one of the only ones that I feel like can answer my question. But anyways, do you think there is a connection between Bathes framework(death of the author ig) being so prominent in HSY's arc and how it relates to JHY's, YSA's, JHW's arcs and their experiences as a woman. Like ik there was some gender stuff goin on with HSY when she was a guy apostle. But I feel like womanhood isn't as explored in her arcs like it is with the three other characters but I feel like you can somehow make a connection 😭 sorry if this is a tall order.

Anon babe I'm very flattered and I'll try to make some connections here, but if someone who is actually woman has something to say about this please come on in and feel free to tell me to stfu 😭😭. Like obv just from living in Society I have concepts of womanhood/gender dynamics/lived experiences of misogyny but also I need you to understand that identification with and appreciation of a personal identity of womanhood is something that I as a person have consistently been repulsed by my entire life. Like the act of wanting/choosing to be a woman is something I will never be able to fully understand or experience.

THAT BEING SAID I HAVE WRITTEN A FEW PARAGRAPHS HERE IN RESPONSE TO YOUR ASK.

TLDR;

authorship is creation outside of motherhood and therefore queer.

narrative control is queer, and therefore disassociation from traditional gender roles comes with increased narrative control.

the narrative of ORV equates Barthes' framework with the "reality" of a reader that has to be challenged by the compassion and love of another person experiencing their own "reality" and authorship of a story is an attempt of that act of impossible communication.

Like ugh ok wanna be clear that I'm not like shim saimdong on the 50,000 won style trying to equate womanhood to this role via like bioessentialist weirdness, but I think that the most obvious connection with authorship and the female characters in orv is the idea of creation that like is sort of tied with motherhood via a character like LSK. Bc yeah if you look at the two big authors writing Kim Dokja's life, it's literally his mom with her prison book and then also Han Sooyoung later on, right?

This is kind of fun to me bc I have a friend whose like actually a lit/film major type person and writing an essay about queer tragedy in film and we were talking about queer narratives and ideas of artificial conception/creation ala Frankenstein, the "unnatural birth." In Western lit tradition this kind of thing has obvi been like connected to horror more modernly, but I think in like early Korean lit (me saying this as a guy who has like only read the Samguk Yusa so 🌾 of 🧂) the connection between unnatural birth and the divine is less complicated and not treated as the same kind of perversion that subversions of nuclear family models have been by narratives in lit largely influenced by a majority religion that values that structure of subservience in the West.

(example of unnatural birth that is fun fine and normal in Samguk Yusa: the first king of Silla is born from an egg and so is his wife and like she even has a beak until it falls off and like Kylie Jenner lip cup style gives her bbl lips /hj.)

The act of authorship can then be seen in/equated with this unnatural birth, or maybe a better term is divine birth. Authorship/narrative control in orv is also shown to be something inherently queer bc like again if you think about LSK and HSY, there is, like you mention Anon, a conflict between the societal role of Woman and becoming an author. Like if you've read feminist lit you are probably already been knew about this but to put it in terms of a referenced text from ORV, there are foundations of an equation of womanhood with motherhood from those very beginnings of Korean lit. The bear mother is a story literally about becoming a woman and that good old neoconfucian influence can be seen in how the path to womanhood for the bear is to completely obey the instructions of a male deity without questioning or straying. She is then "rewarded" by said make deity when they wed and she becomes the mother of Dangun, the deity founder of Korea. This neoconfucian framework of 'womanhood' places emphasis on subservience to higher power and motherhood.

It is notable, then, that the act of becoming an author in Lee Sookyung's case is literally the very action that abandons her child. The act of authorship is juxtaposed from reality, as Kim Dokja's lived experience is retold transformatively and then believed to be true by others and by himself to some degree. Authorship is something that alters the 'natural' and 'real' and divests the author of their subservient societal role. (Abandoning your child #justqueergirlybossthings /j)

So then, let's look at female characters in ORV and their relative relationships to narrative control and femininity. YSA is a good contrast to HSY here, because as you note Anon, reading ORV HSY seems more divorced from womanhood than YSA, but why is that? In all likelihood, it's because YSA takes the place of a certain type of female character that often exists in the stories of this genre, a female colleague who performs her role much better in the original society than the male lead before an entry into the world of the story. Something to also note is, how, despite not being a "character" of the original WoS, YSA is particularly tasked with a role of passivity/narrative inactivity that commonly befalls female characters in the modern day but most notably is exemplified in East Asian lit by the monk Tang Sanzang in Journey to the west. A character who motivates the actions of the main character but is often thwarted in attempts to directly change the narrative and put into inert states (TSZ is told to go somewhere by bodhisattvas and follows their instructions and always gets kidnapped by demons who want to eat his hot cicada body or w/e, YSA studies languages, has her contract renewed, takes the subway when her bike is stolen, gets yanked around by Greek gods and prophetizes herself into a backroom library she can use to peer into the mind of God, etc.) In some ways, bc YSA tends to follow 'the rules,' because she appears to have less awareness and control of the narrative, she also seems to fall more easily into the societal category of "woman." Put directly in contrast with Han Sooyoung, whose perspective on the narrative as a creator leads her to show less care for the lives of those in the story and who actively kills many of said characters without remorse, perhaps contrary to the role of complete creation an comparison of motherhood and authorship might imply, narrative control is power both to create and destroy. If you're in a daoist mood, you could draw a taegeuk and equate this balance of divine birth and unnatural death with the balance of androgyny between feminine and masculine, the balanced whole then being considered a cosmic whole/the absolute/something powerful/ the author, etc. (Singshong being a couple who wrote the book together kind of also adds another layer of context to this in that like in the daoist/Confucian tradition of heteronormativity man and woman together are a complete form, if all cosmos can be divided to binary then the collaboration across that binary recreates the whole, an androgenous true state of creation)

Again, in this way, narrative control/authorship is something that inherently breaks reality and in a heteronormative world this force can be coloured as inherently queer. Thats probably why are transgender girlies JHY and YJH are so significant in that their experiences of womanhood are ones that directly defy the predestination of narrative. There is no direct reveal of YJH having been the Punisher, because it is something beyond narrative understanding, beyond the rules of the universe that Kim Dokja defines as the Reader. JHY's identity directly contradicts the design of the author/creator and reader alike, her choice in her personal gender identity directly defies narrative and in that way gives her agency outside of the realm of "character," her queerness being something that gives her transformative power and control over her reality.

In the matter of Barthes, I would say I'm a bit biased, because I find reading less interesting when the context and the intent of the author are not considered. In fact, I kind of resent that death of the author is sort of a literary standard in that a lot of modern English courses will discourage essays that use terminology like "what the author is trying to say could be" and instead encourage only the use of text, because on the whole I find it less interesting to look at words and not imagine the soul behind them. In some ways, I view death of the author as a selfish framework that emphasizes only the reinforcement of a reader's worldview and desire for escapism in text that doesn't have to be connected to the real world, a delusion. Not to say enjoying a book means one must love the author, but I feel that every reader will naturally have their own (mostly one sided, I suppose) relationship to the author within and without the text, and denying that fact denies personhood to the art form in some ways. In this view, I think one of the reasons I love ORV so much is probably that some of its themes seem to very much agree to this sentiment. Authorship and readership are often equated to this act of "impossible communication" between people. ORV views authorship, the sharing of stories, as this way to impossibly try to understand the life of another person. Part of what gives the text of WoS and then ORV itself so much meaning in the end is the fact that we know who wrote them in the fiction and for what reason. Knowing the author is actually phrased within the text as pivotal, foundationally important, the only understanding that can lead to the salvation of the reader in the end, his knowledge of the person he can recognize in the author's words being himself and the fact that the author's understanding means that he is in some way loved and and known by others who love the same story. When the HSY who wrote WoS is shown to literally cease to be, trying to reach the reader and failing to be seen, it's a scene that makes one cry, a tragedy, a loss. Death of the author is not a preferable frame of analysis in ORV, only connected by a morose sense of inevitability defined by a consumerist literary world that holds said framework as truth.

But again, if death of the author is "reality, " then the ending of ORV is one where radical joy can be found in the breaking of said reality. It's pretty notable from a queer framework that the "happy endings" in ORV all occur in non-nuclear family structures, the 999th turn adopting the OD, KdjCo wanting to live in a house together, etc. Also notable that, because that is a dream that KDJ cannot see as "real," the absolute power the reader is given to determine the world keeps it from happening. In this way, death of the author and absolute power of the reader is the final boss of ORV as HSY and the characters batten down the hatches and scream into the void "YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOUR REALITY IS NOT THE ONLY ONE, LOVE THAT EXISTS FOR NO PREDETERMINED PURPOSE CAN BE YOUR SALVATION."

It's also kind of important to me outside of the text in the understanding that this story, though obviously formulated in the context of trying to appeal to a wide audience for commercial success, is also one that comes from people who experience our reality trying to tell us that love is the answer to it all. Young people today in SK are very likely to at least know someone who has attempted in the past and you know there are some pretty similar statistics if you happen to have friends involved in queer communities here in the US. Because of my own experiences, I've always felt that distinct lack of recovery narratives in fiction, as past generations tend to see it as either so outside the norm or so clearly regulated to certain situations that it's portrayed as obviously wrong choice by a weak person or the obvious right choice by a brave person and ORV is one of very few stories I've seen not try to make a value judgement on it, but rather illustrate exactly the reasons why KDJ wants to die, why he doesn't value himself, and saying please, please stay. There is so much love for you here even though I know you haven't seen it yet. And an understanding that these ideas of love and happiness are something some people in certain situations can only be shown proof of in the stories of others. And I feel like understanding of that context is what makes ORV so important to me as a Reader, even if I know very little about SS aside from that, the fact that they exist as people living in this same world is still important to my enjoyment of the story as a reader.

Ok, sorry, this became more about narrative queerness than death of the author/womanhood but again a lot of my views of womanhood exist in like, opposing it? Lol. Tho my experience of manhood also exists in opposing a lot of it, I just personally enjoy tussling with it much more than I ever would have with womanhood I think lol.

[istherewifiinhell]

reading progress: chapter 222 (i had to get some shit sorted but we're back in action here folks)

reading highlights: get the scrolling fingers ready

196 oh theres a character w gender

kdj kind of commenter that just wants a girl character. okay

kdj ID theft yjh: oh there you are

197 "in moments of low self esteem Kim Dokja would say "I'm Yoo Joonghyuk"

UNIONIZE HELL!!

198 going to a bar to eat the appies yes (non drinker solidarity)

guy who survived a decade on one story -> maybe [non constellation] people need stories also

kdj: WWYJHD? wait im better than him

199 kdj special fake it til u make it

listening to funky synth music during the reaper fights (cat out of hell on bandcamp)

"my lovely kids LGY & SYS" t-t

200 [processing gamified revolution] HMM

201 hell yeah publican dude (british sense) i want him to make me a butty

Han Myungoh (HMO?) union buster OFC

YJH bar of handsome ness entry #1652

203 kdj unabashed long media enjoyer

LITERALLY comparing this to union efforts at the old job. okay

204 why are all office manager/company men roman philosophy losers

bring out the skill/item from 100 chapters ago

kinda hot to kill people just cause there fucking with the revolution

ORV MPREG?

205 orv a story for people who like wall

JHY videogame siren girl technique :/

206 HMO demon king consort? good for u?

ppl can grow off screen?? kdj lack of human object permanence

YJH widower era babey. uriel not causing problems persay. but on purpose

207 [BAD SOCIETAL THING] isnt the natural state of the world and can be changed. kissing this arc

brooo do get yjh a therapy watch to get him to dissociating/alienating himself less -> kdj is the guy planing this o__o

KNW and abyssal black dragon are u evil or just 14

208 [hsy feels like] an abandoned food processor?

The entire hsy & ysa scene its got everything: sexual tension, fraught emotions, abt secrets and grief, Big Dragon

JHY in a world of minmaxers is a balanced PC

209kdj you have a new kid a they are a foolish teen

4th wall dog training continues. NO eating other smaller wall

Big Guy (derogatory) my fav passive aggressive insult

210 "I forgot to I was Yoo Joonghyuk" yeah rookie mistake man cant forget that

"Tell the Duke to learn to fear the Day" HOOTIN AND HOLLERING

211 why is this egg so cute wtf. it needs story and hugs okay

dokkaebi sys birth im crying. kids man, you gotta love them! they love the whole world!

212 [heh] kdj dad moments! thats his kid!!

SYS LGY LJH kid hang out T_T -> maritime admiral yi sunsin T_T

uriel is so normal about dokhyuk. you abandoned ur incarnation!!

213 yjh uriel Road trip buddy comedy

STEAL FROM WORK!!

214 "if you have to sell your story sell it for the right price" THATS PRAXIS BAYBE

kdj doing the blackbeard thing about demon king of salvation

215 kdj cant talk to people. mood. -> praising jhy cute

216 kdj no good billionairs-ing the constellations

the readership to commenter to author pipeline. themes

Kdj existential crisis about the existence of truth and the true self and if its possible to know the other

Yelling

"I think there is a huge wall" [Fourth Wall is looking at you] -> THATS WRITING

'theres no such think as communication' DOKJA

everyone has a wall, communication is impossible thats obvious -> TEENS ROCK

you should leave your mark

music: loves first explosion

kdj 🤝 me : getting the names slightly wrong

SWK!!!

↳ 217 he had sweet lips?

↳ one of swk hairs? -> secret tool that will help us later?

↳ its the gaze of one person...

218 the snake says hes okay cause he has no hands and feet (GOOD JOKE) i missed the twitch chat

THE REVOLUTION MUST LIVE IN OUR HEARTS AND IN OUR MINDS

many stripes one team! (blaseball ref)

219 dokhyuk's constant one up man ship ID fuckery

219 theres the swk hair. im gonna get a good grade in orv!

220 KNW is a mech. okay

Bye KNW see you in another 50 chapters

UGH YJH [SCREAMING] thx for saving him bbygirl

"He came..." I was so happy I wanted to call out his name... yeah bro?

221 kdj self rationalization speed run. did my friend do smth just to save me? no he must have some convoluted motive

Author is that file A THREAT? sad yjh tho bby.

rotating: i mean shit. i already made a post cause part of of this section was so fucking good. kim dokja! you got problems man. fucking fascinating ones. I love it when teens school him about the philosophy of communication. yeah bro its all signifiers all the way down the platonic realm of perfect objects is inaccessible to us. but meaning can still be created even if its infinite meanings of infinite texts. hang on.... can we get fictional character Kim Dokja to read Borges i think i would fuck him up so bad. delightful revolutionary stuff going on here too, big fan. to think we can kill the trope of the evil revolutionary that takes power for themself if we all just had the most weird intrinsic gay identity thing going on with some guy thats assassinates politicians in ur name.

i think ill leave the actual nibbles of kdj yjh legacy/story swap for next time tho. just based in vibes. also just noteing the veritable gaggle of kids being collected. love em. kdj like many people with parent problems and who is easy to own, collecting them like flies

remember all epiphanies of the self are 80 percent wrong

[ryxkenkxgami]

okay finished my first orv reread. i am still a broken person. actually i think it was worse the second time, knowing what was coming, so under the cut are just some thoughts...very disjointed. just very personal thoughts

for someone like me orv is indescribable. there’s a million other people with a similar story to mine - abusive household, bullied heavily in school, tried to kill themselves, found hope in a story they loved and held on to it until they could survive on their own. or maybe they couldn’t, maybe they kept holding on to that story to get them through everything.

i got lucky, in a lot of ways. my husband and i met when i was 14. his family took me in when i ran away from my abusive mother. i didn’t die when i tried to kill myself - all seven times, despite having permanent heart damage because of one of those attempts. when i was in that household, i was barely alive. and i got lucky because i found stories that resonated with me. games i loved, manga i couldn’t stop reading, anime that made me feel something. because of those stories, i was able to live. i was able to survive the horrific abuse my mother threw at me - all her insults, all the physical assaults, all of the control. i was able to keep on going because when i was alone, i could escape it. when i was reading, or playing video games, or watching something... i wasn’t me, on earth, hiding out with my dresser in front of my door in hopes my mother wouldn’t try to push past it. i was whoever i wanted to be, in whatever story i wanted. whatever story i found something in. when i say i really understand kim dokja, i really understand kim dokja. had i been left alone in my situation much longer... well, sometimes i think about if i would’ve done what he did, too. 

but because of those stories, i was able to live to the point where i met kyle, where i could physically escape, where i finally could grow into my own person. i’m not joking when i say i wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for those stories. kyle helped me once we met, but for those first lonely years of my life?

kim dokja really resonates with me, more then any other protagonist, i think. and it’s not mean, the way the narrative treats him. it’s not cruel, the fact that he latched onto a story to survive. it’s a wonderful thing, and at the end, where they write a story of his life in order to save him once more...

i’ve had the understanding for a long, long time that people are never able to fully understand each other. that because we are different, we are living separate lives in our own realities, we can never meet each other fully. it was isolating, for a long time. this is a reason i’ve always loved twewy, since the first time i played it, btw.

but orv gives another perspective: that we are all made up of everyone who knows you. all of their thoughts of who you are, what you do, it’s all there to someone. and each of those parts combine to create a whole you. and even if they can never understand you fully, that doesn’t mean you matter any less. and i... find a lot of solace, in that. that if even if someone can’t always understand me, i am still someone worthy of their attempts. because i’m a person they love. a person worth knowing, even if it’s just that 2% difference.

and just... idk. orv is such a wonderful love letter to people like me. people who had nothing but the stories they could escape to in order to get through life. people who loved reading. who loved to listen, to hear, to consume. and the connections you can make through sharing a story with someone... it’s a way of understanding someone. you can understand someone a little bit better because of what a story means to them, how they interpret it, what they take from it. and you can use that to make friendships, lasting bonds, and it’s... a wonderful, beautiful thing. 

so many of my most important relationships were forged over our shared love for a story, for a world that wasn’t our own. i know that’s the same for almost everyone in fandom. i love that orv is a celebration of that, the very thing that’s kept me going for so many years. i started writing fanfiction when i was 6, because i wanted to tell a story of characters i loved, even back then. and because of that... i am here. because of those characters, those stories, and those friends i made because of those stories, i survived. and i was able to live a so far, pretty fulfilling life.

idk. i’m just really glad. i love orv a lot. i’m glad i got to stay alive to experience it. 

[immortal-tale]

“There are people who think bad things.”

“People?”

I nodded and continued, “They are overall bad people. They bully or gossip about others and even commit some terrible things.”

Jang Hayoung listened to the story and asked me, “Do you hate the people you are talking about?”

“…I thought so but I don’t know.”

I didn’t know if I was serious or not.

“Some people were better than I thought and some people acted differently than what I knew.”

The countless words of Ways of Survival that I read in the past flowed through my mind.

“What is real about them? What is reality and what is fake? I don’t know very well.”

Jang Hayoung silently listened despite my vague wording. How much time passed? Jang Hayoung thought about something. “It’s hard to understand what exactly is troubling you… so you want to know more about these people?”

“What?”

“They seem like bad people but there might be some good people. Well, isn’t that your expectations? No?”

Why did it sound so romantic? There was a backlash but when I thought about it, this might be the problem. Jang Hayoung nodded and said, “Every now and then, too, you have to talk. Talk to the people.”

“It would be useless to talk.”

“Why?”

“Just…”

I couldn’t explain it well. It was a helpless feeling that couldn’t be described. However, it was when a person became most helpless that they were the most truthful.

“I think there is a huge wall.”

[The Fourth Wall is looking at you.]

“You and I are talking like this but we’re not really communicating. There is no such thing as communication in this world.”

[The ‘Unidentified Wall’ is looking at the Fourth Wall.]

「 Kim Dokja thought: Maybe reality or the novel is all the same. 」

「 I’ve read it for so long and I still don’t know. 」

「 Maybe I will never know. 」

I felt like I was mistaken and that the moment I spoke these words, everything would change. This optical illusion was broken by Jang Hayoung’s words.”I might be different from others but of course, there is no such thing.”

“What?”

“Everyone has a wall and communication is impossible… that’s obvious.”

I couldn’t believe the friendly Jang Hayoung thought so. It was a bit surprising. Then Jang Hayoung continued, “However, we still have to talk. Even if there is a huge wall, there is a person behind that wall.”

“…What can we say when there is a wall?”

“Write on the wall.”

My mouth dropped openat the brazen words.

“If you shit or pee, you will leave something on the wall. That way, the other party will recognize it.”

“Why would you do such a thing? The other person is beyond the wall anyway…”

“Still, you should leave a mark.” Does that make sense?” “There is no apparent meaning.”

“Then?”

“It is just important that you left it.”

“The other party won’t know so why?”

“At least the wall has changed.” I was speechless for a moment. Jang Hayoung spoke in a resolute voice. “Then one day, someone might read it.”

I stared at Jang Hayoung. Jang Hayoung, who was born into this world because of my greed, lived a life unrelated to me. Maybe he became a better person than I thought. I laughed with some bitterness. 

[katcadecascade]

Reader Study (Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint Oneshot)

*spoilers up to chapter 79

Summary: 

“Your face is getting red, Kim Dokja.”

“No it’s not.”

She didn’t need to use lie detection.

Han Sooyoung clapped her hands, peering down at him with a wide grin. “What kind of fanfics did you read?”

Kim Dokja is both impressed and exhausted by the fact that he’s surviving in the apocalypse.

Most of that credit is due to him being the sole reader to know about the webnovel that just happens to become is new reality. There’s still a lot of confusion on how that came to be. Kim Dokja has encountered character from the novel, the deadly scenarios, and even people who were never a part of this once fictional world.

“Are you finally taking a break from your airbending training?”

There were other readers. They didn’t stay with the novel like he did so his title as sole reader remains.

Techniqually…

“Stop ignoring me.” Despite that, Kim Dokja tried his best to ignore his current companion. She continues, “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Why can’t I learn the Way of the Winds skill?’ Its because you’re not the protagonist Kim Dokja.”

Han Sooyoung. The first Apostol, she read the most of the original Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse aside from his truly. Except she does know a lot more about the novel than others.

Because she plagiarized it.

Or not as she claims every time he calls her out.

Either way she knows about the world. That means she’s dangerous if left alone. Hell, she’ll gather up another cult like what she did with the Apostles and Prophets.

So since Kim Dokja has been separated from his companions, living in the consequences of a kingless world, he struck a temporary contract with Han Sooyoung until the next main scenario.

He’s really regretting his decision.

“Maybe I’ll ask Lycaon to teach me to be an airbender since it’s so important to you. I probably have the SSS grade talent you lack.”

“No.”

Someone needs to learn the Way of the Wind skill to go against the Disaster of Questions. Kim Dokja doesn’t trust Han Sooyoung with that power and the original protagonist is nowhere nearby to get this skill in time.

Logically, he thought he should get the skill but apparently, Lycaon has deemed him void. Despite that, Kim Dokja tried to train with the wolf monster. So after a good few hours of nothing, he finally took a break and is lying flat on his back in the remains of the business district.

“You’re a real rat bastard, Kim Dokja.”

“And you’re a real rat plagiarist.”

“I didn’t plagiarize!” She’s sitting away from him but close enough to kick his foot. “Everything I wrote I saw in a dream and from that point on my novel became popular due to my own writing skills. It became so popular I even got fanfics!”

“I can’t believe you’re bragging about that. They’re probably not even good.”

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as false.]

“Oh?”

Why did he open his mouth? It’s been a long day of (futile) training under Lyacon. The world is in more ruin because of his choice at the Absolute Throne scenario. He’s away from his friends. The Disaster scenarios are arrive in a few days. Kim Dokja is with the one other person who has read his favorite novel in depth.

Ways of Survival didn’t get popular, it lost a lot of readers. In other words, it never got any fanfics.

But Han Sooyoung’s SSSSS-Grade Infinite Regressor did get a plethora of fanart and fanfics.

So maybe one night curiosity got the better of Kim Dokja and searched for some fanfics of a protagonist very similar to Yoo Jonghyuk.

“Your face is getting red, Kim Dokja.”

“No it’s not.”

She didn’t need to use lie detection.

Han Sooyoung clapped her hands, peering down at him with a wide grin.

“What kind of fanfics did you read?”

Kim Dokja has been lying back, slowing regaining his breath from training. He only has enough stamina to simply roll over and face the opposite direction.

Han Sooyoung merely scooted over to his other side, still grinning.

He turns again.

“You read the steamy fics,” she accused.

“I did not.”

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as truth.]

“Boo.”

“Did you read your novel’s fanfics?”

“Of course not! That goes against an author’s ethics of copyright.”

He just stares at her.

She glares, “I’m not a plagiarist.”

Kim Dokja would love to have the lie detection skill right now.

Han Sooyoung rolls her eyes and offers up, “Occasionally I’ll check the number of fics and see what the most popular tags is. That’s about it.”

A dangerous expression washes over her face as she remembers what exactly the most popular type of fic is. He can see her calculating the probability of Kim Dokja ever reading those type of fics.

Han Sooyoung stares at him with an open mouth smile.

“You, Kim Dokja, may be one of the strongest incarnations, a pain in the ass to me, the dokkaebi, and the constellations, but in reality,” she snorts at that word, “you are weak.”

She didn’t even need to ask. And yet Kim Dokja already feels defeated.

At least he did not admit it aloud.

No way will Kim Dokja verbally admit that he read self-insert fics as the protagonist’s lover.

It gets a little more worse when he remembers he read female self-inserts before finally scavenging the he or they pronoun fics.

But look at him now.

He’s in his favorite novel and met its protagonist.

Kim Dokja wouldn’t call their first introduction a ‘meet cute.’

No way does any of their encounters qualify as romantic. They fought and disagreed and their last encounter ended with Kim Dokja punching Yoo Jonghyuk into unconsciousness. If anything, Kim Dokja’s aim to be Yoo Jonghyuk’s companion is a fantasy.  

Han Yoosong apparently thinks otherwise.

She mockingly pats his shoulder with comfort, “You must be living your fics. Charming your way into Yoo Jonghyuk’s cold barriers.”

“He wants to kill me.”

“Yeah but has he yet?”

Despite the fact that Kim Dokja could come up with many reasons, he says nothing.

Yoo Jonghyuk could’ve killed him at the bridge, at the stations, and, well maybe not at the Throne because of Kim Dokja’s strategy. Every time Kim Dokja said something or did something to convince Yoo Jonghyuk that they are equals and needed each other for upcoming scenarios.

They have yet to ever be on the same page without annoying the other.

And yet Kim Dokja expected this.

It’s the one thing many self-insert fics lack.

As much as Kim Dokja secretly enjoyed the gooey romance orientated stories, none ever measured up with the real stubbornness of Yoo Jonghyuk.

He’s a protagonist who has suffered and thrived and flourished and dealt with impossible odds and despaired and will eventually reach the ending of this story.

Kim Dokja stayed with him for three thousand chapters. Now he wants to stay with Yoo Jonghyuk to… to…

Ah… he got too caught up with the self-inserts fics. A lot of those ended with marriage or something equally domestic.

That’s not an ending deserving of Kim Dokja.

All he wants is for Yoo Jonghyuk and the tohers to make it to the end of this story.

“Hey, you lost in thought about kissing Yoo Jonghyuk?”

“No!”

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as false.]

She raises an eyebrow, smirking.

“Only because you just said it.”

“Sure,” she smiled like a liar.

Somehow it is the opposite smile of Yoo Jonghyuk’s smile when he threw Kim Dokja off the bridge and into the sea serpent’s mouth.

It’s frustratingly easy to remember how the last sunrays of the normal world is casted behind the protagonist. Seeing that damning smirk finalized the reality Kim Dokja is in.

This wouldn’t be Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse without Yoo Jonghyuk.  

This wouldn’t be Kim Dokja’s favorite novel without Yoo Jonghyuk.

This wouldn’t be Kim Dokja’s life without Yoo Jonghyuk.

So if Kim Dokja indulged into a few reader-insert fics where Yoo Jonghyuk fought by his side, survived by his side, was happy by his side, then call Kim Dokja a hopeless romantic.

“You are a hopeless romantic.”

“Why?” He demanded, less embarrassed and more worried if Han Sooyoung read his thoughts.

“I was there when Yoo Jonghyuk came bursting through the room before the Throne scenario. His eyes were only on you and you just exploded with sunshine.” She sticks her tongue out in disgust.

“I did not,” he shuttered, finally sitting up to defend himself with the little dignity he has left. “Sunshine?”

Han Sooyoung nods as if her words are obvious. She crossed her arms and scowled, “You read too many self-inserts.”

Kim Dokja shuts his jaw. If he says nothing she would not use lie detection.

The results are the same though.

Han Sooyoung laughs meanly, “I don’t blame your taste. Well he’s not for me but I guess he could be a real heartthrob.”

Kim Dokja sighs instead of agreeing.

Technically, all those fics were derived from Han Sooyoung’s protagonist.

As for Kim Dokja’s protagonist, he never got the creative drive (or sacrifice his dignity) to ever write his own self-insert with Yoo Jonghyuk.

Kim Dokja is a reader first and foremost.

And yet he still ends up inserted into Ways of Survival trying to overcome the scenarios, to outsmart the dokkaebi, and to eventually face off against the constellations.

All the while being Yoo Jonghyuk’s companion.

That last one is a work in progress.

“How many fanfics I’ve read doesn’t matter,” Kim Dokja says to Han Sooyoung, but it’s mostly to remind himself too.

“Oh I don’t know about that,” she smirks. “I think we’re in a classic canon divergence story.”

He scratches his chin, “That could be true.” As Han Sooyoung grins triumphantly, he says, “Maybe you didn’t plagiarize. You just wrote a big fanfiction.”

“Hey!”

He slow claps, “What a devoted fan.”

“At least I’m not in love with the protagonist.”

Kim Dokja nearly chokes, “I’m no-“

He shuts up before the display message appears.

[Han Sooyoung has activated the skill ‘Lie Detection.’]

She bats her eyelashes. “I’m waiting.”

“I hate you.”

[‘Lie Detection’ has verified his words as truth.]

“Because I’m not Yoo Jonghyuk,” she said, undefeated.

“Would you drop it?”

“No because it’s kind of flattering. You read fanfics of my novel and it has prepared you for the real deal! So what have you’ve done so far to capture his heart?”

“I’m not going to capture his heart.”

“Why not? He’s already obsessed with you.”

“Why would you think that?”

Han Sooyoung shrugged, “I’m a writer. I see things.”

Kim Dokja just blinks and lies back down.

“Don’t you want to know what I see?”

“Absolutely not, Han Sooyoung.”

“Imma tell you anyway.” His cry in protest is ignored. “In a crowded room where nearly everyone is killing each other, the time limit for the qualifying kings is ticking away-“

“You don’t have to describe it. I was there.”

“…and there! Fashionably late and very dramatic, the last king arrives but he pays no mind to anyone except one-“

“That was the one and only time you’ve seen us together and it was very short.”

“Nah uh,” she shakes her head, “My beheaded avatar. Yoo Jonghyuk practically presented it to you like a cat presenting their kill.”

Kim Dokja opens his mouth and closes it, having nothing to counter that simile.

“If you think I know little then what does that say about you?” She counters as if this is a riddle. “Kim Dokja believes he hasn’t made an impact on Yoo Jonghyuk? The only one who dares to upstand him, shouldering on herculean challenges, and hindering the plans of a great author?”

He frowns, “Are you insulting me or complimenting me?”

“Insulting because you’re too stupid realize that not only are you in a fictional genre, you will easily fall into a romance genre.” She angrily clicks her tongue, “How did an ugly guy like you get a hot harem?”

“My friends are not a harem.”

“Sort seems like it.”

Kim Dokja rubs his eyes, too tired of all this nonsensical conversations.

“My point is,” Han Sooyoung pokes his forehead to make sure he’s paying attention, “that you’re really becoming a reader-insert story. That usually leads to getting dicked down by the protagonist.”

Kim Dokja buries his red face in his hands.

“I’m just saying!”

“Then stop talking!”

“No way,” she pauses for a moment and taps her forehead, “where was I going with this again?”

“You decided to stop talking,” Kim Dokja said in hopes that this conversation will end.

“Nah,” Han Sooyoung waves her hand flippantly and then suddenly snaps her fingers with a grin, “Oh yeah, I was going on about the fact that Yoo Jonghyuk is in love with you like how you are in love with him.”

He just stares at this awful woman and quietly says, “He wouldn’t.”

“Must I repeat all the things I’ve told you?” Fortunately, she doesn’t but instead says, “You’re becoming way too important to a lot of people, including your protagonist.” Han Sooyoung grins, “I’ve read enough fanfiction to know where that goes.”

Kim Dokja unfortunately has read enough fanfiction too.

“Well Han Sooyoung, you’re wrong because the next time I see Yoo Jonghyuk he will likely kill me.”

His confidence does not change Han Sooyoung’s mind. “I think he’s trying to find you at this very moment.”

“To kill me,” he reinstates.

“But,” she flashes a smile, “if he doesn’t kill you immediately, it could be a sign.”

Again, Kim Dokja says nothing to argue against that because… well…

Han Sooyoung interrupts his thoughts with a singsong voice, “Sign of love!”

He stands up and goes back over to Lycaon to try training again, thoroughly ignoring the woman’s complaints.

Everything Han Sooyoung said has some misguided truths. This is the apocalypse. Everyone is depending on someone stronger to survive.

But this isn’t just any other apocalypse, this is the a story Kim Dokja knows from beginning to end. In spite of whatever future awaits them, he will do everything he can to use his knowledge to save everyone.

It’s almost expected that there will be moments where he did not see things coming.

For example, Yoo Jonghyuk showing up and not killing him.

It’s mostly because he’s poisoned.

Oh and the fact that the Disaster of Questions is waking up.

After buying their Midday Tryst and agreeing to the Oath of Existence, Yoo Jonghyuk agreed to not harm and instead cooperate with Kim Dokja for the time being.

All at the price of that Yoo Jonghyuk can hit Kim Dokja once.

Kim Dokja has no idea if this is a sign of love or not.

Maybe he’ll find out once that hit comes.

[leefi]

ORV Liveblog Episode 27 - Unreadable (II)

OHHHHHHH DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME A CHARACTER FLASHBACK SCENE. DON'T YOU DARE. I'VE WATCHED JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THIS GOES

NOOOOOOOOOOO MY MEOW MEOW²

NO KIM DOKJA THIS IS HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT MOMENT >:O LHS CAN DO IT HIMSELF I BELIEVE IN HIM!!!!!!!!

Wait a minute, Lee Hyunsung-ssi!

“Jung Heewon-ssi! Wake up!”

Lee Hyunsung kept running towards Jung Heewon.

He rushed as if he was angry for believing in me, the country and the manual. Lee Hyunsung’s Great Mountain Push and Jung Heewon’s Hell Flames Ignition clashed. However, the palms that could push a mountain found it hard to break through the archangel’s flames. His right arm soon started to melt from the pure white light.

“Jung Heewon-ssi!” Lee Hyunsung let out a pained and depressed cry. Lee Hyunsung lost his right arm and reached out with his left arm. I cried out urgently,

-Lee Hyunsung-ssi, if you run away then at least one of you can live.

“I don’t want to.”

-Nobody will blame you if you run away.

“I don’t want to!”

Everyone was contradictory. The person who followed the manual actually hated the manual more than anyone else. He was a creative person who were more subordinate to the system than anyone else. It was when he broke through this contradiction that his story would begin.

WWUWHWHFUFUFFHHWYWHGWG MY MEOW MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Wait but this is crazy because this character development wouldn't be happening without Kim Dokja!! Because Jung Heewon wouldn't have lived without him!! Lee Hyunsung later dies in the original two regressions and awakens his story in a different way!! But the weirdest part is that this wasn't a part of KDJ's plan - this is a completely organic consequence that grew out of LHS meeting JHW! I mentioned before how YJH only became a truly autonomous person just a few months ago but the same is true of LHS!

[The constellation ‘Master of Steel’ thinks that the incarnation ‘Lee Hyunsung’ won’t be able to handle his narrative.] The narrative of steel was hard and heavy. Lee Hyunsung wouldn’t be able to withstand it. Of course, if he was alone.

-I’ll bear it with him.

KIM DOKJAAAAAAAAAAAA

[The character ‘Jung Heewon’ is in a lost state.] [The trauma of the character ‘Jung Heewon’ is completely open.] …

…That bastard, he completely made a mess of a human’s mind.

「 I can’t forgive them… 」

Nirvana’s Thought Infection pulled all the dark parts of a person’s mind to the surface in order to settle their time in the present.

「 I should kill them. 」

Humans who faced the reality of a cliff where the future had disappeared usually lose hope. This was especially true when the reality was terrible. In the process, someone would feel despair and collapse while someone else would turn into a beast and release relentless desires. Some resisted angrily and lose their sense of reason. Once this resignation was repeated, they would find a ‘savior’ to comfort themselves. They would martyr themselves for this saviour, sacrificing their humble lives before the great ‘present.’

「 Kill all the men. 」

My baby...😭😭😭 I Would Kill For Jung Heewon. We're seeing the same risk of martyrdom through trauma with her demon slaying attribute that we do with other characters.

It's also so interesting contrasting her to someone like YJH - not just because of the similar ways they navigate their trauma - but in that KDJ already has a very high intrinsic understanding of YJH (though there are still some places where he surprises him - their one-on-one interactions are still very new/awkward). On the inverse, KDJ has spent much more time around JHW and has a better rapport with her, but...he knows nothing else about her or who she actually is. One of the reasons I love her so much is that she's this unknown variable that did exist in the original novel. But it also breaks my fucking heart that her attribute developed due to her trauma.

“Heewon-ssi.” The blazing hellfire made her face blue. This fire would eventually gnaw at her. Her tears dried as soon as they fell down. Lee Hyunsung acted unexpectedly towards her. “Excuse me for a moment.” Lee Hyunsung took the last step and embraced Jung Heewon.

wait---

It was a familiar female voice that woke Lee Hyunsung up.

“I’m choking…”

He looked down and saw Jung Heewon’s face. He looked around and it was an unimaginable sight. The steel that grew out from his body covered Jung Heewon while blocking the surrounding area.

“U-Uhh! I-I’m really sorry! I will release you now!”

Maybe it was because the melted steel wall had hardened but the steel wall wasn’t easily released. As Lee Hyunsung was feeling confused, Jung Heewon’s forehead touched Lee Hyunsung’s chest. “Thank you.”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

IF YOUH FUAHBE HAVE A FUCIING PROBLELM WKTH THEM YOU BRING S SURIT UP IWJT NE YOU BETTER HOPE KIM DOKJA NEVER MAKES HIS WAY IP TJERE BECAUSE IT'S ON FUCKING SIGHT WITH TOJ

hold on I'm out of images please hold until the next post

[lizhly-writes]

@aeluuin hi. anyway! anyway!!!! continued from this normal orv fan knw thing!

This is really not how Kim Namwoon thought he’d be spending his morning.  Or his afternoon.  Or his night.  Or, really, any moment of his existence.  Good to know that, faced with a difficult decision, he’s super chill with picking murder.

He hadn’t had a choice!  Catching one of three insects is the same of killing one of three characters – people with names, personalities, stories!  Stories that, altogether, set this worldline to successful end!  Is he willing to risk that?  Better to kill one of those passerby NPCs no one gave a shit about, right?  He hadn’t had a choice!

Haha, it’s better if he thinks of it like that, isn’t he?  If he really thinks about it – but of course, he’s not going to really think about it.  He’s been spending five minutes carefully not thinking about it, because if he thinks about it, if he really thinks through the implications of what he’s done –

Kim Dokja is staring at him.

“Well, what’ll it be, ahjussi?” Kim Namwoon says, a little manic, because what else could he possibly be at the moment?  This is his doom right here, isn’t it?

It isn’t like the novel.  Can’t be like the novel, when Kim Namwoon has already satisfied scenario conditions.  If Kim Dokja wants to kill him, then Kim Dokja has to do it with his own two hands – literally with his own hands, because it isn’t as if Kim Dokja has a weapon other than his fucking money.

Wow, wouldn’t that be something?  That’s an especially brutal death, isn’t it?  Wouldn’t it be poetic justice if it happened to Kim Namwoon, considering what the original character had been trying to do?

He straightens up, knife at the ready, watching Kim Dokja – watching each blink, each twitch, every little movement – 

Kim Dokja walks away.

“...Eh?  Hey–” Kim Namwoon cuts himself off before he can actually ask why aren’t you going to kill me, because that’s – that’s just the worst question all around, he doesn’t actually want Kim Dokja to reconsider, but… he’s only human.  He’d still like to know.

Hey, isn’t he still the epitome of all of Kim Dokja’s complaints?  His self-hatred issues?  Shouldn’t there be some kind of duel to the death? Kim Namwoon’s not complaining, of course!  But this is…

Anticlimactic.  That’s the word he’s looking for.

Huh.

He exhales. This is… this is an okay outcome.  He wanted Kim Dokja to ignore him.  Kim Dokja is ignoring him.  This is exactly what he wanted.

There’s still five minutes left to his scenario.

He wants to put his head between his knees and just… breathe.  But of course, that’s not allowed.  That show he put up earlier isn’t enough to dissuade everyone from approaching him if he sinks to the floor, curled up in fetal position, not at all paying attention to the world around him.  That’s an easy target if he’s ever seen one.

Kim Namwoon can do that thing if he wants later.  

For now, he leans against the train carriage wall and waits.

...

Kim Namwoon isn’t moving.  He seems content to stand there, smiling defensively, ready to take down anything that dares attack him. Fine.  Kim Dokja will leave him to it.  There are better uses of time than watching a high schooler who doesn’t seem to inclined to do anything.

Five minutes left.

[You have killed a living thing.]

[100 coins have been earned as additional compensation.]

[You have killed a living thing.]

[100 coins have been earned as additional compensation.]

One question answered: eggs do count as living creatures.

If he had more time, it would be easy to portion out the insect egg sack to save every person on this train.  But who has that kind of time?  Furthermore, is that kind of thing worth it to begin with?  What’s the point in lugging around dead weight?

If they’re dead weight, they should be at least loyal.  And there’s no way he could make sure of that.  Ideally, he’d want the Behind The Scenes Contract to be sure – but he remembers that contract being worth far more than what Yoo Joonghyuk could get in these early scenarios.

“Hey,” Kim Dokja says.  “Dokkaebi.  Are you paying attention?  What can I do with these coins?”

Maybe there’s a cheaper option he doesn’t know about.

And certainly there are many people here willing to sign away their lives, if only they could guarantee that they wouldn’t be destroyed.