#kill littlefinger 2k19

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Funniest thing GRRM could do w the Vale plot in TWOW is have someone organize a nice, relaxing, attendance mandatory, good old-fashioned snowball fight to ease tensions and then have Alayne Stone hitting Littlefinger in the gourd w that Patented Starkling 500mph Fastball TM and killing that man stone dead.

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I power-watched GoT Season 1

Why? Because before tomorrow, I wanted to remember what I loved about the show. Instead of liveblogging my flailing, I did it in my phone’s notes, but I thought I’d dump the whole season here (season 2 is also finished as of today). I to keep myself to three bullet points per episode, but failed most of the time. 

1x01

1. They are all SO YOUNG! Kit is a bb! Maisie! Sophie! RICHARD!

2. I still love to story of Jaime jumping off the cliffs at the Rock and his impression of Tywin. (And you wonder why I fell in love with them..)

3. The years have not lessened my dislike of Robert Baratheon.

1x02

1. Lannister family breakfasts give me joy. (GIVE ME A GOOD CLEAN DEATH ANY DAY OMG JAIME)

2. Michelle Fairley was a gift.

3. (Bonus - Theon being in the trusted council Cat tells about suspecting the Lannister’s in Bran’s attempted murder = ❤️❤️❤️)

4. JUSTICE FOR LADY 2K19! I am still so angry at everyone involved that I can feel my heart rate start increasing the second the scene by the river starts, and by the time we get to the scene in front of Robert, I have to make sure there’s nothing in my hand to throw. True story: the first time I watched this, I came closer than I ever have in my whole life to throwing an actual glass at a tv. After all this time, only a lifetime of self control and respect for the people who bought us our new tv keeps me from doing it now.

1x03

1. Love the Lannister vs Stark parenting parallels: Cersei doesn’t give terrible advice to her son... Machiavellian, but canny. Ned is a good dad too... trying to explain to Arya why Sansa acted the way she did...

2. Remember when the white walkers were scary and Old Nan was the best storyteller? Remember when there were so many great minor characters like her? Like Old Maester Aemon and Syrio Forel given so much good stuff to do with not a lot of screen time?

3. I may hate Robert, but my great respect for Mark Addy as an actor has only grown. That scene in Robert’s study with Robert and Barristan Selmy And Jaime is SO GOOD. Also Jaime talking about Aerys with that look on his face like he’s reliving it is always SO HAUNTING.

4. Bonus: remember when Dany had her OG clique? Irri and Jiqui and Doreah and Rhakaro and Jorah? I do. :(

1x04

1. Tyrion’s second visit to Winterfell is great. The smile on Bran’s face when he gets the plans for the saddle is SO PURE. Theon recommending Ros to Tyrion is less pure but still hilarious before we get to the serious business of explaining why Theon is in Winterfell.

2. Awwww Pyp And Grenn and Sam are such babies! Yay brotherhood.

3. Ned’s straightforwardness is so obviously going to get him killed it’s painful.

1x05

1. Sandor Clegane is more interesting to me this time around. Also Rory McCann is brilliant.

2. Maester Luwin And Bran talking with Theon practicing archery in the background makes my heart ache. “Famed for their skill at archery, navigation, and lovemaking.” Lol

3. That skull Arya hides in has to be Balerion. It looks even bigger than Drogon! And that’s Varys talking to... Illyrio? I don’t remember a lot I’m realizing.

4. I can’t resist cackling at Littlefinger and Varys sniping at each other and Aiden and Conleth PLAYING IT UP and clearly loving every second of it.

5. Bonus bonus: that scene between Cersei and Robert where they’re discussing strategy and potential scenarios for a Dothraki invasion is fascinating on so many levels. They hate and know each other so well and Lena and Mark play off each other brilliantly. And CERSEI IS SO VULNERABLE HERE. I think this might be one of the moments I fell in love with her, weird as that sounds.

6. Triple bonus: 😂 at Jaime knocking out his own man who stabbed Ned and robbed Jaime of his fair fight with The Warden of the North.

1x06

1. This episode gets a 10/10 for amount of time Theon and Robb spend in scenes together.

2. Having watched a lot of Ripper Street seeing Bronn for the first time is a whole lot of fun.

3. FIRE CANNOT KILL A DRAGON YES KHALEESI

1x07: remember when Dan and David used to let experienced writers co-write their eps? That was fun.

1. Tywin Lannister DRESSING HIS OWN STAG like a boss. I live for this intro scene and Charles Dance’s Tywin.

2. YOU WIN OR YOU DIE. And Cersei lived and died by those words. At least she’s consistent? Anyway, SO ICONIC.

3. Sam and Jon taking their vows at the weirwood North of the Wall with the snow swirling around them still sends a chill up my spine.

4. Bonus: all the Dothraki language in this episode is cool and Jason SELLS IT.

5. Bonus bonus: BETRAYAL! ...Peter, no...

1x08

1. Let’s hear it for quick thinking dead heroes. Septa Mordane And Syrio Forel saved those Stark girl’s’ lives.

2. Poor bb Sansa all getting used as a pawn by people who have power over her. Your day will come, my Queen in the North.

3. Today’s sexuality: Robb Stark saying “call the banners”

4. Bonus: Dany did not save those women from being assaulted in that village to burn down King’s Landing out of spite

1x09

1. Maester Aemon’s speech about love and duty is so great and it reminded me of when this show had THEMES and common plot threads that WORKED.

2. Shae and Bronn And Tyrion playing games gives me joy, until Tyrion tells the Tysha story and I’m not ok ever.

3. Robb was a smart commander and one who Got How Serious his responsibilities were and I just love him ok.

1x10

1. Catelyn being like “FIRST get your sisters back THEN kill them ALL” to Robb is peak Stark bloodthirst and I love it.

2. NOW AND ALWAYS followed by Theon saying something that sounds a lot like the wedding vows but with swords is giving me a LOT OF THROBB FEELS this time through.

3. Mirri Maz Duur is SO INTERESTING and her actress is GREAT and I want to know MORE ABOUT HER.

4. Jeor Mormont being like “White walkers are COMING do you think it matters who sits on the Iron Throne?” Is super funny now. Because d and d sure don’t agree with him.

5. BABY DRAGONS!!! SO CUTE!!! Shrieky, but cute.

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And I go over to Littlefinger and I go “can I PLEASE go home now?” And he goes “NO! In fact, I’m gonna frame you for MURDER and make you take care of an epileptic nine year old and sexually abuse you!” And I go “Why are you doing this to me?!” And he goes “Because I’m Petyr Baelish, and I’m a total p*d*ph*l*!”

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In the immortal words of Kristy: “Get him, Sansa”

Details!

-Hairnet with emeralds to contrast amethyst hairnet

-Dagger has an eagle/falcon

-Sansa’s dress has pattern of feathers on bodice, and is green with yellow, gold, silver, and white accents. Very Tyrell, I know, but in this case I’m figuring she’s dressed as Alayne, and LF’s colors are green and silver, so we’re all good.

-LF’s outfit: I’m thinking most of the outfit is kinda velvety? Like Count Rugen’s outfit at the end of Princess Bride.

-Purple, green, black, silver, and gold are of course the natural color palette for Petyr Baelish. For this, I chose plum and a more minty-green, with light green lace at the cuffs and throat. And because this is one of the richest guys in the books, I gave him a bedazzled belt, silver bird pin, gold cords on the sleeves, and gold detailing at the shoulders. I would’ve added a necklace, but I think there’s enough going on for my contentment

-Sansa?? Personally stabbing someone?? Yes. I think she deserves that. Also, considering LF’s advice about “keeping your hands clean”, I like the poetry of her refusing to do so, reaching back to her Stark roots.

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“In a better world, you might have been mine, not Eddard Stark’s. My loyal loving daughter... Put Joffrey from your mind, sweetling. Dontos, Tyrion, all of them. They will never trouble you again. You are safe now, that’s all that matters. You are safe with me, and sailing home.”

-Sansa V, A Storm of Swords

Petyr, get a job.

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Sansa: *just became accomplice to a murder and is appropriately upset*

LF: don’t worry you can trust me! I fucked your mom!

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Littlefinger: *giggles* so get this I had LYSA poison Jon Arryn with the TEARS OF LYS isn’t that hilarious??

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Arya: (re: LF) why is he smiling

Sansa: *narrows eyes* he’s a friendly villain. Like the Verizon guy who defected to Sprint.

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I feel we need to acknowledge that if Jon Arryn and Robert had had the decency to die just a couple of years later, Jon and Theon would have been living their best lives, having hatesex with eachother. What I’m saying is, we were robbed of Jontheon by Littlefinger. Littlefinger is a homophobe. In conclusion, Littlefinger needs to die. 

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People on my kill list:

Petyr Baelish

Walder Frey

Ramsay Snow (I will NOT do him the courtesy of calling him a Bolton)

Petyr Baelish

Qyburn

Petyr Baelish 

Jorah Mormont

Littlefinger

Bowen Marsh

Did I mention Petyr Baelish?

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LF: come give daddy a PROPER kiss, alayne

Jon, literally hundreds of miles away: SHES THIRTEEN YOU FUCKING CREEP

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Do you think Sansa will be married in the end of the series.

Hi! 

No, I don’t think Sansa will be married at the end of the series, unless it is in the context that she’s still technically married to Tyrion. I do think it likely that she will marry Harry the Heir during winds and then LF kills him/Harry dies in battle and Sansa may be forced to marry LF at some point during Winds depending on when LF gets killed. Point is, I am 10000000% positive that Sansa won’t be married to anyone unless there’s a new romantic contender, which I find doubtful.