#kill la kill will always have a special place in my heart

[marshmallowgoop]

Hi! I've read a handful of your blogs here and I wanted to say I really like them. Even though I haven't seen for myself any of the shows/movies/etc you've talked about, I love how passionate you are, especially about the things you love.

Which brings me to Kill la Kill - my only experience with that anime is literally a couple of clips I watched when I was a teenager, and forgot about a couple of weeks later. Now I (sort of) know the gist of the overall plot by reading about it. But having read several of your essays on it, how invested you are kinda rubs off on me despite not having actually watched the show XD - like, I can feel how much you love these characters.

With that off my chest, I had a question in mind regarding the ending. Again, I don't know every little detail about the story as a whole, but I know that Honnōji Academy is destroyed at the end.

But do you think it would have been cool if the academy was reformed rather than destroyed?

I mean, Satsuki ran the place with an iron fist, and if she reformed, I don't see why the academy couldn't. Imagine Honnōji being a place that ran on cooperation and nurturing of each other's strengths rather than ruthlessness.

Think that's a good idea, or do you think it wouldn't work?

Oh my gosh?? I'm absolutely blown away that my writing can capture interest even without knowledge of the media (and am so curious about how you found me!). Thank you so much.

As to your question: hmm! That's a really good one that I've been pondering for a while (my apologies for the very belated response). One question that comes to mind in response is what a school (or any place) truly is. Is it the location? The building? The people?

If it's the people who made Honnouji Academy what it is, then Satsuki reforming is, in essence, the place reforming. The physical building isn't what made the school what it is.

But I think there's meaning in the inanimate. I'm reminded of an episode of Batman Beyond, "Shriek," where Bruce fights to keep the place where his parents died preserved. Terry wonders why—wouldn't it be best to tear it down? To forget the awful memory? But Bruce throws back at him, "Do you want to forget what happened to your father?"

In Batman Beyond, Crime Alley is left in tatters. It's abandoned, it hasn't been refurbished, and Bruce actively doesn't want it to be. There's meaning in leaving it as it is; it's a reminder of why Bruce became Batman and why the work he does is important.

Perhaps similarly, Honnouji Academy itself doesn't totally disappear. It sinks to the bottom of Tokyo Bay and becomes less immediately visible, but it still exists, and nothing is rebuilt on top of it. The memory of what Satsuki had done, and what she must never become again, lies just beneath the surface. And, because it's just beneath the surface, no one is going to try to make it into something new like the attempts with Crime Alley.

That said. I can also see worth in making a place once known for causing harm into a place that fosters love. Things can change without forgetting and disrespecting what came before.

But maybe there's a "line"? And I could see Honnouji Academy as crossing that line, where keeping it and trying to transform it does a disservice to the atrocities that occurred there, and that's why it ultimately sinks.

[mrsparrasblog]

Layover in Glasgow

Summary: You're living your dream working as a flight attendant after a very bad breakup. On your layovers, you meet all sorts of men from a special Taskforce, each trying to charm their way into your heart. Who will succeed in finding his way into your heart?

Rating: E

Pairing: Soap x plus size readers

MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI

TW: Oral sex, p in v sex dirty talk , a tiny bit stalking

Next part: Layover in Liverpool

why does he remind me of Johnny

Layover in Glasgow

Being a flight attendant has always been your dream. You have already seen many places; unfortunately, not anything outside of Europe since Ryanair couldn't give you the luxury of layovers in LA, Shanghai, or Bali. It was still more than enough. This time, you could scratch Scotland off your bucket list.

And it was just like you imagined: cold, rainy, and beautiful. Instead of admiring nature, you found yourself in one of Glasgow's most famous pubs with your crew, drinking pints.

After a while, your best friend left, sneaking off with the captain to the bathroom—typical.

You wanted to pay your tab before a pretty handsome guy walked towards you and said, "Let me invite you to a drink before ya leave, bonnie."

God, he was the most handsome man you’d seen in a while. He was a bit short for your liking, but his ripped muscles and icy blue eyes definitely made up for it. "Sorry, I need to go; start early tomorrow,“ you sighed, not being able to flirt a bit more with this man.

"Where urr ye aff tae this late, anyway?“ He asked curiously; he was already ready to offer you a ride, but you looked like one of those girls who would call the police if he asked.

"Hotel,“ you replied shortly. If you were a bit less drunk, you’d probably tell him a lie, like to your boyfriend, so he would toss off, but he was cute, and your best friend left you for the captain anyway.

"Yer not from here, then, are you? You got a bit of the tourist in ya," he muttered.

"I'm not a tourist,“ you replied, bratty. Well, kinda you were, but kinda not, though.

"What brings you here, then?" Soap asked curiously as he shifted his weight on his legs, glancing down at the bar. He already liked you, beautiful and snarky. God,  he was down for you. "Business? Family? A lover?" He asked, his voice teasing a bit as he looked back at you. He really hoped and begged God that you hadn’t a lover over here.

"I'm a flight attendant.“

"A flight attendant..." Soap repeated slowly at first, taking a second to process that before a grin split across his face, imagining you in your uniform and how he would rip it apart. "Oh, so you're one of those ones who get to travel the world. Yer a lucky lass.“

„Mhm very lucky, my first layover in Glasgow“

Soap grinned at this, his blue eyes brightening with amusement as his gaze wandered back to you. "Yer first time in Scotland, eh? You have no clue how lucky you are.“ He leaned forward, almost into your personal bubble. "The accent, the history, the food—the women are a bit crazy, though," he admitted with a sheepish chuckle. Oh, how he could brag around having a girl like you by his squad; you had the exact body type Price would kill for, the exact attitude Kyle loved from a lass, and the height and confidence the Lt preferred. 

„And the men aren’t crazy here?“ You raised a brow; he seemed seemingly crazy with his mohawk and the way he was able to walk into your personal space. Thoughts about how you could pull on his hair while riding him lived rent-free in your head.

Soap burst out in a deep, rumbling laugh as you asked. "Oh, they're even crazier," he grinned, a cheeky glint in his icy blue eyes. "I don't reckon you'd like 'em all that much, to be honest. Most of 'em are either drunk, dumb, mean, or a combination of all three," Soap chuckled, his head tipping to the side.

"And you are drunk, dumb, or mean?“ Fuck, his eyes already got you memoized. Would it be really wrong to take him to the hotel just for a little fun? Maybe you could ride that beautiful face.

"Well I  cannae say ah'ament a' o' th' 'boon at time, but, ah reckon a'm' the most braw." Soap asserted, a self-satisfied smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. 

„You think of yourself as the most handsome?“ 

Soap smirked. "That's fur a'm." He maintained absolute confidence. "I could be the most arrogant person alive, and it'd still be true," he laughed. "I bet I'm the most handsome bloke you've ever seen.“

„So what's your name, arrogant handsome guy?“ 

"The handsome, arrogant guy in question would happen to be John 'Soap' MacTavish," he answered with a grin. You didn't even question that his nickname was a fucking cleaning product.

„Nice to meet you, John.“

"Aye, same here, but whit dae I  get the pleasure of cawin ye?"

You didn't want to answer this; you weren’t open to a relationship too much, and you were already hurt by your last ex-boyfriend idiot pathetic way too tall military guy.“Let me be honest, I'm not really into anything serious with my job, but if you want to come with me in my hotel room, I wouldn't mind.“

Soap blinked at your bluntness, the corner of his lips twitching as a grin spread across his face. "I wasn't looking for something serious, but I'm sure your hotel room wouldn't be too bad.“ Sleeping around was never a problem for Johnny; he was the one to get the most lays around his squad, mainly because Garrick didn't participate, Ghost scared lassies, and Price was too afraid to hurt the woman he liked. Soft little things with wide hips and round faces weren’t for his callused hands. He kind of wanted more from you than a lay; you were just so damn perfect, but he was sure you were just like every girl he slept with, telling him it was a one-night thing, but after six screaming orgasms, they all wanted to become Mrs. MacTavish.

You walked with him towards your hotel, his hand always around the end of your back, slowly gliding to your ample bottom, squeezing it through the tight skirt you wore.

Before you arrived at the hotel, you gave one last warning: „I don’t do relationships, only sex.“

Soap grinned at your bluntness. "Good, 'Cause that makes two of us; I'm not the kind to fall for someone. I'm too busy for all the emotions and nonsense crap," Soap said bluntly. "Just good fun. Nothing else.“ He practically copied his LT words, but you don’t need to know this. 

Soap followed you into the hotel room with a satisfied grin, closing the door silently behind him as he pressed you back onto the bed, one hand resting on your upper thigh as he leaned in for another kiss. His large hands quickly began running along your sides, tracing up along your back as his lips gently tugged at your bottom lip. “Ne'er bin wi' someone as tall or muscular as me?“

You laughed at that, unfortunately hurting his ego "You're the shortest guy I ever had sex with,“ and you didn't even lie, especially not after your 6’10 bastard of an ex-boyfriend. 

Soap laughed aloud at this, his accent practically rumbling as his grin grew. "There's no way you're tellin' me there's been a load of men taller than me. I'm six feet tall!" Soap complains, "Am I really the shortest?" His face grew kind of insecure, but if you only knew your moments, they would make him want you more.

„Yes, but don’t worry, your accent makes it up.“

„Mhm, like my accent?“ He smiled, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. 

„Yes“

„Good thing my accent is not the only thick thing about me,“ he replied with a smirk, removing his shirt and showing off his perfectly thick Lucious abs. You traced along the happy trail, eager to remove his pants, and he was right; he was incredibly thick. He wasn’t by any chance the biggest you had with his 7 solid inches but by far the thickest. His dick didn't spring up; it hung heavy and low with his angry leaking tip. You licked your lips, eager to finally have something other than your finger inside of your pleading hole.

„Like what you see, hen?“ He smirked, an arrogant Corky bastard, but somehow you liked it. 

He pulled you onto your back, pulling off your tight skirt and that long-sleeve top you wore. When he saw your body, all the dimples and curves and the beautiful stretch marks around your hips, he was gone. „Fuckin hell, bonnie could have told me what you hide under those clothes,“ his hand nervously fiddled over the lacy fabric of your bra, smirking when he saw your nipples hardening under his touch. „So eager for me?“ 

Without a thought, he wrapped his mouth around your clothed nipples, sucking them in and gently biting on them. You wanted to remove your bra, but he stopped you. „Shh, hen, that's a sight for next time.“ 

„There will be no next time, John.“

„Thalere wull always bee a next time hen,“ he said, and before you could argue with him, his lips were already around your clothed mound, licking over the blue lacy fabric. „Didn't need tae dress sae cute fur me hen,“ he lured against it, pressing his thick palms deeper into your clit making you moan and whimper like a feral cat. 

You couldn’t remember if you had shaved or not the last few days. "Johnny, I'm not entirely shaven down there." You warned him, afraid of his reaction. For most guys, it was an immediate no. Yes, for fucking, but no for licking, but he just looked at you with a devious smirk: „A'm mair hairy than a bear myself sae a dinnae mynd a bawherr locks aroond mah meal.“ With that, he removed your thong, completely placing the soft fabric of your thong next to his jeans so he could steal them on deployment, wanking himself on something better than the porn he had saved on his mobile phone. 

„Mhm, such a bonnie cunny you have,“ he purred and started to lick thick stripes from your hole to your clit, you weren’t the patient type, so you pulled on his mohawk directly to your clit, where you pressed him inside of you. „Not very patient, hen“ 

He finally stopped all the teasing and used his mouth for God, licking at your clit slowly sucking her in while working your pleading mound open, his thick digits always pressed against your gummy wall.

„Fuck Johnny“

„Mhm, so wet for me, hen.“ 

He licked at your cunt like it was the last meal he ever had. He slurped and moaned, God, he was a messy eater, his fingers pressed against the plush fat of your hips, holding you down so you didn't run away from the orgasm he tried to give you. As he inserted a third finger, pressing against the sweet spot, most men didn't find - it was over for you. 

You clenched around him, milking his thick finger for all of its worth, and experienced one of the most intense orgasms in your life. He pated some taps on your clit making you shake from the overwhelming feeling inside your tummy.

„God yere looking so bonnie when you cum,“ his eyes sparkled in admiration. He knew he had to have you for more than just a one-night thing.

„Do you have a condone, Johnny? I don’t have anything in your size.“ 

He could have just cum from that praise; he knew he was thick, but this was so fucking good to hear from you. "Aye,“ he said, wrapping the condom down on his shaft. His dick was a bit sad about not having the chance to fuck the most beautiful cunt he ever saw raw, but better than nothing. 

He slides his thick member across your mound over and over again, wetting him with your arousal. But you weren’t in for missionary, so you pulled him to his back and sat down on his lap. You wanted to glide on him, but the unconscious fear of being too heavy hit you. 

„Dinnae worry ah dae hip thrust hen“

With that, you straddled him, your legs working overtime to stretch around his big hips, and you glided yourself down on his delicious curved cock. He was surprised you could take him without any problems. God,  could that girl be any more perfect? 

You slowly rolled your hips on his, trying to find a movement where he hit the exact right spot. His hand grabbed your plump ass, guiding you up and down, needing to get some more friction out of you. He was already a needy whimpering mess, and you didn’t even begin fully.

„Please, bonnie move faster,“ he whimpered, and who were you to deny his cute whimpers?

He guided your hips up and down at a mean pace, searching for his orgasm; his dark black curls rubbed against your clit with every movement pulling you closer and closer to your awaiting release. 

Feeling you close to orgasm, Johnny moved a hand between your legs, rubbing your clit firmly as he continued to pound into you. His fingers circled your swollen bud, teasing it until you cried out incoherently. „Johnny"

Johnny groaned, feeling himself getting closer as well. He picked up the pace even more, slamming into you harder as he leaned forward to capture one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking and biting gently through the fabric.

„Johnny, please, I'm close.“

Hearing your enthusiastic moans, Johnny let out a groan of relief as he felt his climax building. With one last hard thrust, he erupted inside of you, his cock pulsing as he shot his hot cum deep inside your wet cunt.

He panted heavily as you continued to ride him needy to reach your own orgasm. The familiar knot in your stomach started to build inside of you, and with a final slap of Johnny's finger, you came screaming his name as you began to squeeze his thick cock. 

You collapsed into each other, and he wrapped his thick arms around your body. "That was intense, bonnie“ his mouth kissing around your neck.

„Yes, it was great. Would you mind leaving now? I have my flight in for hours.“

„No cuddling?“ He said he was disappointed, and as you saw his puppy eyes, you almost couldn’t resist changing your mind, but you didn’t. 

„No, sorry,“ you said sternly. 

He pulled his pants and shirt on, leaving a paper with his number on the bedside table: "Call me, hen.“.

——————————————————————————————————

"Stop looking at your phone. She won't call you,“ the lieutenant said to Johnny. He annoyed them the whole last week, showing your picture all around and telling everyone how good he fucked you. Ghost couldn’t deny that he found you incredibly arousing, exactly like Price and Gaz.

„She will!“ 

„Maybe she needs someone older.“ Price chuckled.

On his bedside table lay a small paper Roaster July 2023 Y/N. 

Layover Glasgow 

Layover Milan 

Layover Liverpool 

Layover Paris

Layover Manchester

Layover London Stansted 

Whoever and wherever you are, doll, you can't escape us. Maybe you can leave Johnny, but you can't outrun me. In the end, you will choose one of us. I hope, for your sake, it's me. See you on your next layover.

Did I just made Reader a flight attendant since I always dreamt off being a flight attendant in London but Brexit said no ? Yes

[my-stories-vault]

Chapter 8 ~ Purgatory Series.

Pairing: American Dean Winchester X English Y/N L/N; American Dean Winchester X American Y/N L/N.

Blurb: Purgatory suits you, to be honest. Plenty of distractions to choose from, you can kill as many as to your heart's content. And your heart is one insatiable bastard—it'll do anything to keep the memories of your ex away. Until a face much similar to his struts up into your territory, looking for you, promising you a home you lost too long ago. Your heart melted once before, do you think you would be able to risk it all again for the same criminally handsome face?

Warnings/Trigger Warnings (18+): Supernatural Wars spoilers, major and minor character deaths, mentions of previous major character deaths, violence, gore, tons of angst, (sort of, but not really) love triangle, language, self-sacrifices (not exactly suicide), betrayals, etc.

Note: This was written four years ago and English is my second language - I've tried to edit without losing the past-me's "authenticity", but let's face it, spellings ain't my strong suit, and even Grammerly gave up, soooo all the mistakes are mine 🙂🙃.

{ Series Masterlist ; Main Masterlist }

Purgatory Series: Last Part (8).

Castiel tumbled into the dry leaves with a boom. The projectile grew in shape, opening it's wide mouth.

'Leviathans,' you whispered.

Your weapon was slung off your shoulder and an arrow was shot to behead the creature in seconds. Your back had been unprotected, allowing a Levithan to get the jump on you. Seamlessly, Dean was to your rescue, and his sword invaded the monster's chest cavity, pulling upwards so the thing would be in a literal half. By the time you got your feet, your group of four had been cornered by an army of ten.

Huh, well, fuck.

The four of you ripped away from the tight circle in four cardinal directions.

West was yours.

The first one went down easy: a kick to his special place, and a lodging of your arrow into his neck. The weapon was laden with Borax.

Although when you turned, you were turning into a punch. She kicked you down and then kicked you while you were down. Until you grabbed her hard kick, and rotated your back on the forest floor so your legs could sweep her off the one sturdy foot on the ground. With her right leg still in your hand, you straddled her other one. You stretched the right one near her ear, making her yell in strain, then you stabbed it with an arrow that went through her stretched leg and her nose till it was lodged into the ground - effectively pinning her there in a very awkward position. You didn't stick around to admire your work; another arrow was out and ready.

This dance went on for a while.

Benny had always admired Dean's fighting prowess, but seeing you, he was more than a little awed. It was like you were dancing, something choreographed into your every cell was pouring out of you like music. But you didn't utter a single sound, no grunt, or a yelp, no sound of an effort made. He doesn't think Castiel or Dean noticed, perhaps because they were used to you, but you slew the most Leviathans.

The idea of you being captured by the small fairies seemed funny to him now. He should've known you were a greater force than all that made this Purgatory. You weren't just a human, you might just be the destroyer of this very no man's land. For the first time, Benny was glad Dean was your friend, and he forced the tingles of fear to roll down his back.

Castiel was playing with their minds by flying around, he didn't have a weapon, so he was just waiting for you to reach the subjects of his mind games. At least, Dean had dipped his and Benny's weapons in Borax while you'd been away.

This little fight in the small pocket of Purgatory could be described as self-preservation at its best. And this fight would give you all an hour of repose before the war began.

With the last monster cut, you took the lead back to the camp à la Dwarves - you did realise that you might be leading the war to them.

However, nothing mattered more than getting Dean to safety. You would be damned if you had something go wrong when you could see the finish line.

When you noticed the marks laden on the trees, you produced a whistle (shaped like a bird, and you blew into its tail) they'd given you in case of emergencies; and not a second passed after the first chirp that long vines were thrown down. They all had little footholds on the bottom, much like the ones during horse-riding.

You pushed Dean before you, then Benny. To quell Dean's incoming protests, you clawed the tree bark and raced beyond them, climbing like a monkey, much faster than the Dwarves could pull anyone up. To save time, Castiel also flew.

As soon as you'd slapped a hand onto the first flat surface, you saw Kan-fir's face looming; leaving just enough space to let you haul up and sit on the edge.

'War?'

You were panting; your heart beating out of proportion and the lances of fear that jerked through your nervous system. But you'd never been scared for yourself, not since his death.

'War.'

His expression transformed into a Leader's, much like you used to once upon a time. He signaled to the side, causing alarms, not unlike your whistle, just amplified, to blow throughout as far as you could see was Purgatory's horizon.

The small crowd of the little ones that had gathered around dispersed to arm up. You touched Kan-fir's shoulder to stop him a second.

'The portal?'

'Open,' he assured. 'It closed not with alarms, but with him gone,' he pointed at Dean.

Guess that made sense. The portal was directly linked to the man that belonged to said Purgatory's Earth. No wonder it never seemed to splice the time and space continuum for the likes of you.

Kan-fir hurried away to finalise the last few battle strategies. After all, the alarms had just signified a war between the Leviathans and the Dwarves. The Purgatory would be going into lockdown within the next hour, and it would be an all-out massacre.

From what you'd known, the rest of the creatures of the land had been forced to divide between the two armies.

Back when the Leviathans had been A.W.O.L. to Earth, the monsters had lived pretty peacefully - you'd seen this treeland heave a sigh of relief in their absence. But when they came back, the chaos had ensued once more. That's when the armies had started forming. Dwarves had advantaged themselves with a headstart while the Leviathans mourned their deaths on earth, and convinced a hefty amount of monsters that Leviathans had to be rid.

You didn't know how true it was, but Kan-fir said that many monsters had been reluctant to side with the Dwarves; they'd wanted to be anonymous and in hibernation when the war commenced. He said that they changed their minds when you picked a side. You'd been a bit bashful to hear it.

This was a time-old conflict, literally, it seemed as old as time. To think that the Dwarves credited you for bringing them resolution was more than a little flattering.

You felt like a soldier, a Leader again . . . Not some deserter who left her people to die . . .

You'd been raised into wars, but for the very first time, you were secretly enjoying the thrill of death that came with wars.

You'd run amok for seven years because you didn't have a purpose and it was your punishment for the way it ended with Dean.

This?

This is your redemption.

'Alright,' you clapped your hands for attention. 'Cas, do you think you can fly yourselves to the portal? Or near it. You've got about an hour now, before—'

'What about you?' Dean cut you off.

'Darlin', I've gotta stay and—'

'So, we stay, too.'

'I didn't sign up for that,' the vampire groused.

'Look, Ben—'

'No, Chief, this is not our fight. These are two larger entities that made each other extinct on Earth, way before the fucking dinosaurs - what do you think will happen when neither of them can die in Purgatory? They've been planning an Armageddon - why do you think some of us have been trying to get out of here forever?'

'I agree, Dean,' you couldn't believe you were, with Benny, but, 'The other monsters are going to end up being pawns in their revenge schemes.'

'And you think you're so special?' he scoffed. 'Look, I'm not leaving. End of story!'

You and Benny shared a long-suffering look.

'Fine,' Benny gritted out. '. . . We'll go ask what we gotta do.' He tapped Castiel on the shoulder, who hesitated.

'Dean, I hate to side with Y/N—'

'Then, don't!'

'Dean,' his voice strained the elder brother's name, 'Purgatory's not for you . . . think about Sam.'

He let that sink in. Then, they turned to leave.

'Reserve me some weapons,' Dean instructed as the boys left. 'And her, too.' He must've sensed that this conversation wasn't over.

'This is not what I want for you,' you tried.

'Ditto.'

'I'm not who you love, Dean,' you went for the jugular.

His jaw worked a muscle and he stepped closer in challenge. 'I beg to differ,' owning up to those feelings that either of you had never uttered.

You really didn't want to do this, but you squared, bracing for something you never thought you'd ever have to do. 'Dean, I don't love you,' you lied.

Dean didn't flinch - as if he'd always suspected it - even though you could see the hurt cleaved into his face; a pain that ran so deep, you felt it was cutting you. His eyes grew gloss, and you almost took it back.

Yet, you couldn't.

'I'm staying,' his voice was soft, as if he couldn't muster much energy to say it more determinedly. 'I go where you go,' he cleared his throat. 'And I'll . . . I'll leave you alone when you're out of here, okay? I swear. Just . . . just let me save you. Let me help you.'

Your eyes filled up on salt.

But he didn't cry, nor would you.

'Fine,' you rasped past the lump that was hurting your throat - it felt like it was in your windpipe, choking you.

'Fine.'

When your gazes locked, they were warring.

You both knew you'd try and weasel out, and you both knew he'd try and stop you. And you both also knew who would win . . . .

You'd never been so beaten in your life.

The Leviathans didn't leave an inch of your skin unbruised, not an organ untargeted, and not a tree in the one mile radius they hadn't pounded you against.

Being kidnapped sucked. You didn't think you'd make it out of here anymore. And you could then solve one of life's greater mysteries and find out where monsters went after they died in Purgatory.

Maybe they just ceased to exist?

You sobbed at that thought. A feeble, 'Stop,' escaped you.

'What?' snarled the woman. She gripped you by the hair and pulled your head back so she could speak near your lips. 'What'd you say, bitch?' she examined you from the corner of her eye; your face twisted and abused beyond recognition, 'Where are the Dwarves?'

'I don't know,' you cried out. 

Your throat hurt from the rope burns and hand imprints from the multiple times they'd strangled you into the near vicinity of death. After taking you from the fairies, they discovered you weren't the human they sought for. But just because you had her face, they thought you also knew what her plan was.

'Yes—' 

She paused while she slammed you into the ground - probably cracked another rib you didn't know you had - and let your head be submerged into the icy lapels of the river near which they'd chosen to torture information out of you. And you wanted to give it to them. You just didn't know what it was!

'—You do!' she completed when he pulled you back out.

The cold made you shudder and your wounds burn as if they'd been exposed to fire. It stung so bad . . . 

'No,' you wept.

'I can't believe that you're holding out for those little bastards,' she spat in your face. She tugged your strands, and you whimpered. 'D'y'know how they'd tattle to Mommy? She got so pissed with us that she grounded us to this filthy craphole! She made us extinct! Said we couldn't leave until we apologised to each other . . . Like, we'd ever do that!' she scoffed, adding a slap to unload her misplaced anger.

She paused to contemplate you, admiring the myriad of "art" she'd left on your s/c skin. 'Tell me. Did you think you'd be getting out of here? I mean, really. What, you figured you'd hitch a ride on the human? And he'd let you? Do you believe in this soulmate crap?'

Soulmates sounded like such a sure thing. All the Deans you knew would save their soulmates; all those Deans would die for their soulmates.

Yet, you were an anomaly.

Your blood was stained with monstrosity, and Dean's was riven with righteousness. He couldn't love you, he wouldn't save you.

For once, the Leviathan was right. Why were you being such a damsel in distress?

You tried to kill me! you'd yelled.

Oh, honey, it's nothing personal. We just can't love a monster.

'Awww,' she smirked down at you. 'You look like a kicked puppy.' She traced a finger down from your head to your jaw. 'At least puppies are liked enough to be saved . . . No one's even coming for you.'

'You're right,' you said.

However, your lips were too swollen for her to understand you. She leaned in to listen better but your hand shot out to grip her neck. She laughed in your face with how faint your fingers were against her.

'Oh, you're cute enough that it's a pity I'm gonna eat you.'

'Is that a fear of yours?' you murmured feebly. 'Let's find out.'

Your other hand came to her head. With all the energy you'd left, and this newfound motivation, you tapped into your magic.

The cells in your body seemed to be gushing out to aid this outpour of fears and nightmares you were granting her as a parting gift. Before she could process the concept of it all, you were already into her head a good deal. And then, she was thrashing atop you, screaming and yelling for mercy.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

You were shocked when her eyes melted in her sockets and spilt down her cheeks like a sticky milkshake, while more black blood oozed from her nose and mouth.

You couldn't stop until she stopped screaming. And then she fell on your body, making you humph.

'Survival 101,' you rested your eyes as the worst ache of your life boomed into your headspace. Claret trickled down your cheeks, a warning ringing in your ears. 'Save yourself.'

Darkness adopted you.

Figures since darkness had been looking after you your whole life.

The tasks were divided to be conquered.

One sector was of Dwarves only, with arrows and spears for farther distances. The second and the third wave of Dwarves and/or monsters would attack and then encircle the Leviathans (so that their supplies, ammunitions, and back-up are all cut off), respectively. The fourth sector (of Dwarves alone) was supposed to lay low as back-up.

The fifth batch consisted of Dwarves who would protect their King, Kan-fir. The sixth group consisted of monsters who were assigned as medical first responders.

You headed the rescue mission.

It wasn't the original plan. You were supposed to use the weapon the Dwarves had been researching for a while, but now that they did find the weapon, it was something no one had expected.

The plan had to be . . . modified, so to speak. 

'I don't know, Y/N,' Castiel was skittish about the said plan.

You flashed him an annoyed look. 'Are you bailing on me?' You didn't stop packing the Borax water balloons in your bag.

Rescuing Y/N might, at the very least, be interesting, and at its worst, tough. Most of the Leviathans would be out battling the second and third wave of your troops. They wouldn't be sparing manpower for a puny dreamwalker.

You were the real deal, as Kan-fir had put it.

After you assault the Leviathans guarding your doppelganger, then you'd have to worry about them coming after you.

I will have one hour, insisted your rationale. Yeah, one hour until her guards wake up and sound the alarm bells. One hour until they chase you. One hour to get everyone to safety. One hour to—

'I didn't say that.'

'Then, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my fiancé. Prepare to save,' you joked.

He gave you a bitch-face that would have put Sam Winchester's to shame.

'Geez, it's not like I asked you for your wings. Cough up a laugh!'

'That's not even the correct reference.' He seemed disappointed.

Your eyes narrowed, 'Dean was the T.V.-savvy, all right! Will you do it or not?'

'Dean won't be happy with this - we're deceiving him.'

'You would know - you've racked up quite the experience.'

'I've trusted the wrong people over him before Y/N. He won't forgive me.'

You glide past the fact that he called you "wrong", turning to finally face him. 'I trust you over Benny, Castiel. Will you or will you not divert Dean towards the portal?'

'He wants to take care of you,' Castiel persisted.

'I know - chivalry isn't dead or whatever. But Cas, we're running out of time! Kan-fir wants to end this, sooner than Dick figures out this complicated shit. There's one weapon, and the opportunity's only shown up now - do you feel me? I need to save her, and I need Dean to be out of Purgatory before the weapon implodes!'

'I understand your concerns. But Dean isn't a child - or a commodity you want delivered to Earth. Dean can handle himself.'

'Doesn't mean he should have to, Castiel,' you barked. 'I'm not his responsibility either - but here he is, isn't he? We both are running the same race. And I will win, with or without you. The Dwarves are so much more powerful than you, so it would do you good to side with me. Lest you want to be as blindsided as your precious best friend is.'

He took a pregnant pause to let the open threat sink in. '. . . I'm with you.'

'Good. Now, get Dean, and try not to screw up.'

Castiel moved to the door when there was a knock on it.

"I don't like this," was Benny's first response when you'd announced the plans of your wayward group of hunters.

Dean and Castiel, who had experience fighting side-by-side in battle, would head one of the factions, most probably the third one, and attack the Leviathans head on. You weren't saying you were too happy about Dean running head on into danger, but honestly, what was new?

Plus, your reprimands would be like a pot calling out to a kettle.

Besides, Castiel would make sure that halfway through the fight, anytime he sensed an overpowering bunch of those monsters were going to attack them, he would lead Dean astray by saying that sensed more assist was required in the opposite direction - and soon, he would be leading Dean down to the portal where you would converge with Y/N and Benny. The Dwarves found the exact location of the portal and gave it to Castiel. You just prayed Castiel didn't grow cold feet.

He was unhappy about lying to Dean, as you were about being paired up with Benny. The vamp wasn't your first choice; he became your only.

Benny and you had a better idea of how substantiated the forest was than either Dean or Castiel; which was putting aside the fact that a human from this Purgatory's planet, and an angel would attract just too many monsters. It would be like inviting the whole Leviathan population for a barbecue.

'This is not good,' the Cajun repeated under his breath.

You rolled your eyes and swung off to another tree, giving him a beat to follow. Your eyes scanned the area but nothing seemed off to you. You were deep into the territory of Leviathans. Deep like cold cuts in a freezer, ready to be blazed and eaten. It was pertinent that you both maintained silence.

A fact that Benny was trying his best to abide by.

But when you'd passed by a herd of battle-ready Centaurs, he had to remind you how stupid this endeavor might as well be.

Eighty-five percent of chance said the American version wasn't even alive anymore. You were running out of delusions to imagine that they'd simply placed her on a torture rack somewhere instead of turning her into a pile of ashes no one gave a fuck about.

Another half an hour passed, and the fewer Leviathans you saw, the more worried you were getting. It's a miracle you hadn't bitten off someone's (Benny's) head. The fewer monsters you saw here, the more had been sent off to the battle where Dean was. Already, a day had passed since the war commenced.

None of it was not good for your anxiety.

'I thought you had the address,' Benny prodded after a while.

You had to breathe deeply. 'Consider this a complex or a cluster of buildings. Forgive me if it's taking me time to reach the apartment - clever kidnappers tend to cover their fucking tracks.'

'Dwarves are supposed to be good at sniffing out that kinda shit.'

'This is the best lead we could've gotten.'

'We're wasting our time,' Benny complained.

'You didn't have to come with me!' you protested, turning on the tips of your toes, scratching the bark of the branch that you both were perched on like birds. 'You could've stayed back at camp, or gone with Dean like a good little bloodhound!'

Yes, you'd sought Dean for help. Yes, you realised that Benny would be more expendable than Dean. No, you were not about to tolerate his bitching and moaning.

He gave you an impatient look and if you didn't know any better, you could've sworn that Dean's soul had entered his body when he said: 'You didn't ask to be stuck with Dean or his soulmate either, but here you are risking your life for nothing.'

Did he just spew common sense? You were rusty, you'd lost yours a long while back.

'What's it to you?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Dean's like my brother. He would kill me if I left your reckless ass on line.'

Oh, so that was what this was about.

You sensed that Dean might've cornered Benny and ordered him to keep an eye on you while you lead point on your messed up way of salvation.

At least Benny's loyal.

'There,' Benny pointed.

At five o'clock, there was a body half-lying on the ground, and half in the stream. Had to be a monster; alive or sleeping.

Both of you swung over to the tree it was under. You leaned backward till your legs were bent at the knees, allowing you to hook yourself on the branch, upside-down, to get a closer look. It was something your Dean had taught you, the upside-down trick - to remove your fear of trees forever.

You didn't know if it was blood rushing down to your brain or actual nausea when you saw its face . . . Her face. Your face.

Patches of hair were pulled out, skin frayed in too many places. So much sanguine had already bled out that now it was verging on black - a medical omen of death.

You did an abdominal crunch, and came face to face with Benny again, who was holding your quiver.

'It's her.'

His brows furrowed. 'Why would they leave her alone?'

That was a good question.

This could be a trap, was communicated in one look.

'One way to find out,' you pursed your lips. 'Cover me?'

You made your descent without waiting for his response. You heard the slightest ruffle of leaves, in which Benny had slacked off to another tree for better visuals, while you steadily climbed down.

You stepped lightly on your feet next to the body. There were no signs of movement from her. You judged her face and wondered if Levithans could even replicate wounds when they take a face - because make-up products were definitely not a popular sale/purchase material down here - this couldn't be a Leviathan, right?

You untied one of your Borax water balloons, and gently poured it over her face. She didn't sizzle, but neither did she twitch.

You got worried, as you signaled Benny to get down there. You kneeled beside her, and unscrewed your bottle of the healing potion. You parted her lips by holding her face up with one hand under her jaw. Only a rivulet or two of the sewer-tasting liquid escaped her mouth.

'Will she live?' Benjamin questioned when he was near.

'Don't ask stupid questions.'

She had to live.

You kept pouring it down her gullet till the bruises on her lightened, and most of the scars mostly sealed up. The lost blood wasn't retrieved, but new would circulate in a while, maybe then she wouldn't appear as blanched. By the time the bottle was vacant, she was still terribly hurt, and showed no signs of regaining consciousness.

'We need more,' Benny observed, the same thing you did.

You sighed through your nose. 'Did you ever go to a gym, Benny?'

'If you're asking me to carry her while committing mediocre tree-hopping, you're gonna be disappointed.'

'Who said I'm asking?'

'You carry her.'

'You're not the only one who failed gym class, Benny.' You had a decent upper-body, but you couldn't carry another person like that - that was more Dean's thing; that strong, beautiful bastard. The man was frigging Hercules.

'What, the invincible Y/N L/N can't even pull her own weight?' he sassed, grinning about the pun he just made.

You made a sour face, 'I didn't like you before, but at least I didn't judge you. Besides, I'll have you know, I believe in quality over quantity.'

'If you're so smart, then get us out of here without the way of the trees,' he snapped.

You shot him a scathing look, wondering if you could threaten to leave his Cajun ass behind. Though, you feared if he would be just another person for Dean to stay back for. So, you took a breath of patience (a lot of it), and assessed your surroundings.

You still weren't sure why Y/N was alone, and if her guards were going to be back. You needed to transport faster. What could possibly be a better mode than the trees?

'Benny, you were a pirate, right?'

He looked at you uncertainly. 'Did I tell you that?'

He didn't have to. You'd been suspicious of it since so many other things of their world have been similar to yours.

Question for a question, 'Do you know the concept of upstate? Royalty?'

'What are you playing at?' he bit first.

'I'm playing Purgatory politics,' you explained. 'We're upstream. Upstate means elite. Leviathans think they're royalty.'

'You want to sail?' the incredulity made him take a step back to understand if you were in your right mind.

You shrugged. 'We row far enough, we reach the outcasts.'

'The Dwarves,' he pieced together. 'The currents are in our favour, but how will we go undetected?'

You didn't rectify him by saying that you were going to sail past the Dwarves, who were rebels of Purgatory at best, and you were going to sail to the outcasts, which was where the Portal existed - where the humans should be, the actual outcasts.

'We have enough Borax balloons to fight if it comes to that,' you theorized. 'Unless you're too scared.'

His ego wouldn't let him deny the risk you were asking him to take. 'What do you need?'

'Tree sap, bark, leaves,' you listed off with a winning smile. 'So many leaves.'

He ran a hand over his scratchy brown beard. 'I see regret in my future.'

'My old friend, tell her hi for me!' you said, sarcastically cheery.

He flipped you the bird.

You were underway in a sturdy makeshift boat by the end of the second hour. Surprisingly, and a relief it was, when no Leviathans showed up to check on your doppelganger. You could work with undivided attention, and stitched up a storm with an arrowhead you broke off.

The boat didn't have a very good shape. It was buoyant because of the woody base, it was connected through a leafy cover, and joined by gooey tree sap. The rows were just as misshapen, but workable. At least the surface was wide enough for one person to lie on, and two to stand or sit on. Both you and Benny were on opposite ends, rowing continuously, as fast as your energies would allow.

'Where did you learn to make this?' he enquired randomly.

You were immediately flashing back to your Earth. Voices floating in your mind: instructions. You blinked back the anger that was burgeoning, just thinking back to your "teacher".

'Angels had Heaven, the skies; Demons had Hell, the underground; Humans had Land, the surface; Monsters had the Seas. Pirates, everywhere, all monsters. And when you want to travel overseas, it's easier to pass through the Monsters' jurisdiction than it is the Angels'.

'Our world's "travel agent", Jack, hooked my mother for my travels. I met you when I was transferred to Europe.'

'You weren't born there?' he seemed surprised.

'My parents were Leaders. And when the Wars run as long as ours did, there's always nepotism. I was declared as a potential co-Leader of Europe after I was born. And for the authenticity of it, I had a British nanny. I was raised a European. But I got to go there only after I turned twenty-five - that's usually the year of a Leader's initiation.'

'And my clone took you there?'

You bit your lip, and practiced breathing for a while. You remember his promise of being an honorable monster, a man of his word. You'd never truly believed him, a reason why you couldn't hate this version too much.

It was Castiel who had betrayed you.

'I was a curious person,' you indulged.

"Was" being a keyword. You have felt curious or like a person in a long time.

'I'd never been near a boat in my entire life,' you shared. 'We made a deal: boat knowledge for an island we weren't using.'

'Were you that rich?' he asked in surprise.

'The richest,' you shrugged.

He hummed. 'Thought nothing bad ever happened to the rich,' he said, somewhat bitter.

'Money can't buy lives. Or loyalty. Or happiness. Not that I'd expect you to understand.'

A pause.

'There a reason why you hate me?' he finally acknowledged the elephant in the room.

'By the time of the concluding war, only the Alpha Vampire remained as a representative of your monster faction . . . you were his second-in-command.'

Lot of money in it, you added in your mind. Benny and The Bloody Princess' (his ship) background checks had only indicated a hand-to-mouth existence, thus, a sort-of ally to humans who could give them blood bags in exchange for transport . . .

All that while he'd been working directly for the Alpha, spying on the hunters and trafficking the innocent ones.

'You didn't know?' he guessed, based on the thickness of your voice.

'No.' You found resistance when you tried to swallow.

'Did I kill someone close to ya?' he put his hand on the money.

'Doesn't matter,' you shook your head. You cannot go there. 'You're saving someone close to me now. That's more important.'

'Why are you trusting me now?'

You smirked, the fool. 'You know what they say,' you said. 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? . . . If I have to finish that sentence, Benny, consider it your eulogy.'

Both of you knew the resounding truth ringing behind that warning.

He steered you to another topic: 'Since we're bonding—'

'We're not.'

'—why are you saving her?'

'She's Dean soulm—'

'Cut the crap.'

Time to lay on the lies. 'What tipped you off?' you led him on.

'At first? Human carriers can have more than one monster through the portal, but the more monsters there are, the harder it is for the human to survive, and you wouldn't risk his life that way.'

That had been your plan. Your plan had been to train her in your accent and to familiarize her with the territory a bit till she could fool Dean enough. It was a long shot, but not impossible.

It wasn't until she actually died that you realized she had to travel under Dean's skin. Messed up your whole plan.

'He's . . . resilient,' you told Benny, keeping the charade up.

'Fine. But that couldn't be your current plan.' Benny was sharp, you noted. 'That would have been before he knew that only you or her can live on the planet. He won't let her travel willingly now. Not unless you go through the portal first. Before she does with him.'

You knew that. Dean believed in defying the multi-dimensional norms of the various Universes, and as admirable as it is, it sometimes pissed you off. Sometimes the goddamned universes are just more powerful.

'What are you doing with her, chéri?'

'Do you believe . . .' you purposely acted reluctant. 'Are you aware of how Leviathans can be killed once and for all?' 

You heard the water on his side stop splashing for a second. 'Bedtime story. There's a single weapon that can kill the Dwarves or the Leviathans - one that kills the Leaders and erases the rest of their population. Not just them, works on every Leader. Once you eliminate the Leader, you kill every groupie under him, here, in Purgatory. But no one's ever seen or heard of it.'

You stop rowing for effect. 'She is it, Benny. We had the weapon when we had her.'

'. . . Do the Dwarves know?'

'They found out this morning, and told me. They made a new plan . . . in which the weapon dies alongside the Leviathans.'

'Damn.'

Tears burned your eyes. 'Indeed.'

You stood on the water's edge . . . No, wait. That was your face-thief. You were dreamwalking again. She looked pensive as she stared at the house in front of her - it resembled a gazebo out of a fairytale book. There was a book sinking slowly into the water, a disturbance to the place's idyllic nature.

There was something else that was off . . .

Then, you saw it. The edges were wilting as if this was an old chapter of an ongoing book. Usually, when you dreamwalked, your scenes were fresher, more present, but this seemed like you were visiting a memory of hers.

You'd rarely ever used this skill of yours. You usually could only tap into the memories of someone you'd sorta bonded with; it made you uncomfortable to know that the Brit was one of them.

In walked a tiny figure. A Dwarf, you noted - those miniature bastards. You recognised this one as Kan-fir.

'Sad.'

She stiffened before she turned to the perpetrator of the voice, she blinked at the air for a moment before her eyes were drawn way below to the King of the Dwarves.

'Oh, hey, cutie. Kan-fir sad?' she questioned, pronouncing his name with a silent "n".

He halted next to her. 'No. Y/N sad. Y/N sink journal about man human. Y/N miss Dean.'

She was rueful. 'Story of my life.'

You stepped closer to hear them better - you knew they couldn't see you, not unless your face-thief had initiated this meeting - which she didn't, because the color belonged to a past memory of hers.

'Go Dean.'

'I can't go to him!' she protested, fluent in understanding broken English. 'He deserves . . . He deserves to have someone who loves him for who he is.'

'You. Yes.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Did you get what I asked for?'

He sagely nodded. 'Cutie find Dean soulmate alive. Earth-living. Dreamwalker she, you right.'

'Oh, good, I can start visiting Y/Ns then. Did you get the African dream roots?'

He shook his head yes, before, 'Tip pro?'

'Yeah, tell me.'

'You kill soulmate, you live Dean. Back new Earth!'

Your habit of mistrusting people niggled in the back of your mind as the memory melded into another.

'Why do you prefer daylight?' she was asking.

'Dwarves and Leviathans: major-league, before BAN! Then, humans. Them force, monsters hide. Irony: biggest monster think broad daylight as possession. They control everything!' Kan-fir very passionately waved his pudgy hands for emphasis. 'We prefer daylight because we monstersbig.'

'Hmm,' she admitted, 'never thought of it that way. I must be a monster too, then, since humans preside over the daylight now. At least on Earths.'

'Never thought that way.'

You tried to stir towards the exit. You weren't comfortable seeing her memories like this - something you would never admit out loud.

However, you walked into a war room this time - the one where you'd first met the Brit Y/N in person, bound and gagged. You remembered because you'd both stayed there for a day before you left.

Y/N was pacing the room, looking stressed. 'Is it true?'

'We research,' Kan-fir said grimly. 'America right. She need be under Dean skin for exit Purgatory.'

You realised this must be on the day that you first met your face-thief. After you asked her how you both were gonna convince Dean to carry you . . . You'd left the Dwarves the same day.

'How did we not know this!?' she threw her hands in the air. '

Kan-fir huffed. 'Busy with war things.'

'Well, it would have been nice to know, Kan-fir!' she was almost scolding. 'There goes my plan to fool Dean into thinking she was me! We had an agreement—I fight war for you, and you help me save Dean!'

Kan-fir crossed his arms. 'Down tone. No like loud.'

She budged. 'I'm sorry. I'm just . . . how do we send her back? She's here. We brought her here.'

'Don't send. You go.'

Fear and anger oiled your heart into acceleration. This was twice now that Kan-fir had mentioned it . . . more importantly, has the Brit been lying to you all this time when she promised she would send you home? . . . She was a better person than that, right?

You decided to seek a memory that would prove her innocence . . . still, dread was settling in your stomach.

Another remembrance played.

A Dwarf burst in, 'Fairies kid-sleeped Y/N two!'

'What?' Y/N asked. 'Why would they kidnap her? We have got to get her back!'

Castiel put a hand on her shoulder to stop her in her hammock. 'You're still weak. You just woke up.'

'I don't care! Cee-cee, call Kan-fir. I'm going to need back-up.'

She shook her head. 'Kan-fir say no.'

'What?'

'Worth not. Like not,' she shrugged. 'You alone.'

'Oh, come on! We brought her into this mess!'

She shook her head vigorously then. 'You brought Y/N two, you brought mess. For stupid man human.'

'And according to our pact - you protect her!'

She pursed her lips. 'Protect man human. No soulmate. You contribute not more - so, we help not more. Buh-bye.'

She turned and left.

You scoffed, 'Can you believe them?'

Castiel was impassive. 'Dwarves look out for themselves first. Even if they're fond of someone.'

She clenched her jaw, 'I guess we enlist Dean's help, then.'

You made the memory fade into other.

'Are you sure?'

'Tested,' one of the Dwarves from the little group said, Kan-fir in their lead.

'Y/N two be weapon, Y/N,' Kan-fir interjected.

'How did you . . . ?' she looked appalled. 'You said you'd stop taking blood from us! Taking it from Dean to identify her soulmate was the last time.'

The Dwarves looked at each other, somewhat embarrassed.

A wise, old Dwarf took responsibility for explanation, 'Sav-ty steal when Sav-ty lift her.'

You recognized him as the Dwarf who kidnapped you.

'That's horrible.'

'She horrible!' a female protested this time. 'Curse Dwarf-folk out!'

'Oh, so you're being patriotic by giving an innocent a death-sentence!?' she scoffed. 'Is that why you asked us to leave for the week? Because you wanted to test on her blood? You never were going to find a way out for her, were you?!'

Your blood ran cold as the truth came to you. That's why she'd been dodging your questions, because she didn't know what to do with you, herself. She only kept you away from the Dwarves so they could find another way, or as they confessed, so they could test your blood.

And you'd managed to disrupt that entire chain of events of your victimization by attacking Y/N.

Was that��why she'd been so forgiving? Because she was guilty of what the Dwarves had done behind your backs?

'Why defence her!' Kan-fir puffed his chest out. 'Y/N two put Y/N one in coma!'

'Then she called Castiel—'

'Nan-nan say,' a third one stepped up, 'Us know now - she weapon. Ultimate benefit - she here, so, Leviathan - fuck son bitch - die!'

'Oh, so, she wasn't worth saving from the fairies but now that you can use her as a weapon, you are willing to save her from the heart of your nemesis' lair?'

'You understand,' Cee-cee beamed.

'Kan-fir?' she almost looked as if she'd been betrayed.

He looked torn, 'Sorry. But side with Dwarf-folk.'

The muscles in her jaw worked. 'Fine, but then I'm not gonna be a part of your pettiness.'

She made to leave but Kan-fir stopped her by placing a tiny palm on her calf. His eyes had a certain hard glint to them. 'I know you. You go after Y/N two now, against our wish, because you nice . . . But Kan-fir order - let Dwarf-folk have her.'

'That's not how this is going to go down—'

'Or Dean die.'

She looked like she'd been slapped in her face. 'What, no! He's not a part of this! That's not in the pact! My participation in your stupid war for his protection whenever he needs it! I'm giving you what you want!'

'Pact renew,' Kan-fir firmly posted. 'Give Y/N two. Dean live.'

'This is wrong,' she gritted out.

Kan-fir frowned. 'Good for you! You go home when she die a weapon. Want you that not?'

Frustrated tears built in her eyes. '. . . I do want to go home . . . I can't believe I'm doing this . . .'

For some reason, it broke your heart - once again, you'd judged wrong. Once more, someone chose themselves over you. The realisation dawned on you that she'd been playing the long con all along.

The scene shifted.

Castiel spoke, '. . . I'm with you.'

'Good. Now, get Dean, and try not to screw up.'

Castiel moved to the door when there was a knock on it. He wrenched it open to see no one until he gazed down, near his feet. The Dwarf King trotted in with two arrows appearing as overlarge spears in his hands. One had a blue feather, and the other red.

'Here,' Kan-fir offered her both.

You turned a sharp gaze at Castiel and he took the hint to leave; he closed the door behind himself.

'Red for Y/N two.'

'That'll eviscerate her on the spot?' she grimaced.

He nodded.

'And . . . through the heart, right?' she enquired. 'It should soak in blood before we kill Dick with it.'

'You bitch,' you mumbled. 'I'm going to kill you.

He nodded again. Then, 'Take. Blue for Y/N one. With it, we wish good luck.'

She tentatively grabbed them, inserting them into her quiver.

Kan-fir lurked, shuffling on his feet. 'You mad?Kan-fir no longer Cutie because Y/N no like Cutie anymore.'

She paused her movements for the minutest seconds before she resumed zipping everything up. She slung the bags on her, shifting them till they let her have an ease in movements. If you had to guess, it was so that she could jump across trees.

'Not mad,' she responded.

He looked ashamed, 'I, true monster.'

'If every person who put family first is a monster, then I fell in love with two biggest ones. Then, I'm surrounded by monsters . . . and I'm one, too. Because I'll be sacrificing so much for my new . . . Let's call them family.'

'You'll be sacrificing me!' you roared to no avail.

'. . . So, you go home.'

'Yeah,' a grin spread on her face. 'That eases my pain a little. I finally go home.'

'You be missed.'

She crooked half a smile. 'Likewise, Kan-fir.'

'Sorry for everything,' he said with regret.

She kneeled to ruffle his hair. 'Hug me good luck?'

The Dwarf King smiled small.

They both embraced while you fumed.

You steered yourself once more through the unpredictable mind - but fucking finally, you navigated out of her brain - you saw the white light and you rushed towards it.

You awoke with a jolt, you thought - you didn't feel it, probably because you were hanging upside down and blood saturated your brain. You had to blink way too much to understand what was in front of you - you were looking at the back of a person's legs, your face leveling up to their lower back.

Your hands hung on either side of your head, and you felt woozy. Your body was jerking now and again by the quick, sharp steps that the person carrying you took.

He didn't seem to have realised that you were awake yet, too engrossed in a conversation. His chest vibrated as he spoke deeply and your legs were against it as he pinned you with a hand around the back of your knees; you were just a sack of potatoes for him.

' . . . can't believe you sunk the ship,' the words sharpened into focus.

'Did you want to be caught?'

You recognised that voice. You felt relief trek through you - knowing it wasn't the Leviathans - before betrayal raced against it, and reached all the corners of your body faster than the calmness could - it warmed the tips and fibres of your body.

You fought off the sting with entitlement.

'And what - the water creatures won't be after us? You should've burned it,' the accent was unfamiliar to you. But it did not sound like anyone you know . . . unless . . . there is a distant memory in your mind of someone with that voice . . .

'We weren't planning to stick around! And fire is just a bat signal. It's what you see in Purgatory before devils come running.'

'Just shut up - and tell me where the battle is.'

'Oh, we aren't going to the battle - we're going to the portal.'

The man stopped abruptly, your head smashed into the small of his back . . . What is he, a fucking wall?

You resisted consoling your poor smushed nose.

'Tell me you're fucking kidding, chéri.'

Benjamin Laffitte, it clicked into your head. The vampire.

You gogt to regulating your heartbeats immediately. As a vampire, he would sense if you were awakee and privy to their conversation if he concentrated.

'Nope. Castiel must already be there with Dean. Come on!'

'You lied to him?!' he briskly paced forth. 'And Castiel let you?'

'Let me?' she evaded the real question, 'Cas is like a baby. You bribe him, he does anything you want.'

'What did you give him?'

'Penance.'

'What—?'

A loud cluster of clomping cut him off. He reverted quickly to hide around a tree, banging your head against the bark in the process.

'Be careful!' Y/N hissed, her legs coming into your sight.

'Today is just not her day.'

Ya fucking think?

'How many?'

The legs bent to check from the other side. 'Five.'

'That's too many.'

'Why don't you be a good boy, and play hooky towards the stream down yonder while I—'

'Oh, I'm not falling for that - I'm not letting you out of my sight. We both fight.'

'Whatever, dude. Just don't get killed.' She made to leave before, before she retraced, 'On second thoughts, you have my blessing.' Then, she disappeared.

He huffed, 'I hate her.'

Benny dumped you on the ground without ceremony. You shut your eyes and relaxed. He propped you up as best as he could against the tree while you tried hard to appear limp. He hurried after the infamous woman.

You opened your eyes and blew out a breath. 'Me, too, pal.'

You straightened yourself, and took a peek around the immense circular stock (seriously, does no one in Purgatory get afraid thinking that a tree can fall on them?) to time your getaway.

The monster of today were Centaurs. Half-man, half-horse.

Y/N was using the hanging branches to gain leverage, shooting for the cardinal organs. Benny tried to backstab them while they were distracted, he was literally running round and round, making the horses chase their own tail until he pierced them with his weapon. The Centaurs were angrily braying, and even going on their hind legs in protestation.

Years of Purgatory had deteriorated their intelligence on a battleground. They were way too far, and way too engaged with the relatively new-age warriors to notice you.

You didn't know what you would do with your life now - but you certainly weren't going to die here all alone . . . You just needed time to think.

Yeah. Time to think. I can do that.

A smile grew, and you booked it stage left, feeling free.

Freedom comes with obstacles.

The first obstacle was the aches in your joints and bones. You weren't human but you got hurt like one - why, God, why?

You'd been walking upstream when you encountered the second one: a small troop of Dwarves.

Why must my obstacle course be this hard?

'Y/N one!' exclaimed the Dwarf in the lead. Two others flanked him, sharing his excitement.

You don't correct them. 'Well, 'ello, you!' even you didn't believe the phony British accent.

'Why you alone?'

Hope told you that for such intelligent creatures, linguistics wouldn't be where they singled you out.

Panicking, you said the first thing that came to your mind. 'Centaurs!' was a squeak.

Their brows furrowed.

You internally kicked yourself, and forced the posh obnoxious accent. 'Centaurs attacked, and I played . . . hooky,' you used a word you'd heard her use a while ago. 'Benny left with Y/N . . . two,' you added.

They accepted your answer. This was easy.

'Majesty ask: Where Y/N one say goodbye?'

'The portal,' you blurted.

If you took too long to reply, the ruse would lift. Y/N one knows what she's talking about, you don't. You can't afford the privilege to think.

They all shared confused pouts. 'Portal?' the lady-Dwarf, as the right flank, wondered.

Anxiety concerned you again - that's where your face-thief would go, right? That traitor was going to leave Purgatory with Dean there!

'That's where Dean is,' the accent fluctuated like your uncertainty.

The third Dwarf frowned. 'Exactly.'

Before you could come up with a lame defence, the first Dwarf snapped his fingers. 'Unless! Goodbye with Dean.'

Satisfied, they all murmured in understanding. Not that you knew what went through their heads - long as they don't ask you again, you don't care.

'Now, there, mate, won't you go fetch your King, and I'll see him at the Portal,' you suggested, plastering a smile to go along.

You'd thought you'd safely diverted everyone to the portal, giving you time and rest of the Purgatory to figure out a solution in.

'Good sounding,' the third one said. 'Sar-se, and I go tell. Y/N one leave with Yve-tt,' he pointed at the girl.

'Why!?' you whined Americanly, then, hurried in Brit, 'I mean, I can reach the portal by myself.'

'Danger roam,' argued Yve-tt. 'Leviathan wanting you. Help you, me. Take you, I.'

'Right,' you cleared your throat. 'Well, darlin', I just didn't want to be a bother, see?'

'Mind not, I!' she beamed.

You leashed your tongue lest it starts to curse out this 3x1 foot pain in your ass. 'Of course you don't!' you faked enthusiasm, 'Know why? 'Cause you're awesome!'

She giggled unattractively. The Dwarves stepped away with identical smiles (they all look the same to you).

She started leading you down the path, downstream, opposite where you were headed, and where the other Dwarves left at. While you wondered if your newfound Leviathan harming powers worked on Dwarves as well.

'You're sure we're headed the right way?'

Castiel nodded absent-mindedly. The Dwarves had given him elaborate instructions with intense gesticulating. Castiel knew that if the situation had been cheerier, he would have made friends out of them - they were adorable. Like bees, and monkeys, and everything in between.

'Five more minutes.'

Dean uneasily kept in step with his best friend. It had been almost two days into the war, and none of the parties seemed close to giving up - he'd never known any monsters before of such resilience - it was frankly annoying and he wanted them to die.

Speaking of resilience.

'Do you know where Y/N is?'

In the last two days, he'd asked that more times than he'd like to count; and he felt that ugly twinge of jealousy every time Castiel answered. You had made it a regular thing to discuss whereabouts with Castiel apparently. It was as grating as it was comforting to know.

'Last I heard, they sunk the ship and took to the foot. They are headed to safety. Fortunately, no Leviathans followed. Y/N thinks your soulmate killed her guards, thus, there was no one.'

Dean's thoughts wandered. He tried not to let your words filter in his mind on a loop, but their sting clung to him like an unseen thorn.

It's not like he didn't have a basic idea of why you were attracted to him. He had the face of your fucking fiancé - but it did not stop him from feeling . . . used.

Had he been that easy to cast aside?

How easily you reduced him to his face. A skin-deep attraction that you used as a crutch for your pain.

He was envious of his own lookalike. How can he have the girl, and not have her at the same time? Is the difference between doppelgangers really that much?

He lingered on his meeting with his own soulmate then. Same face, same voice; he spotted a smidge of difference (the accent, but you had already pretty much phased it out) before she was ripped away from him.

He tried to dwell on the fact that she is a monster. But his eyes darted to his angelic companion, and then he thought of Benny. The people he calls his best friends are nothing short of powerful. Even Sam has dabbled with powers once upon a time. Dean had the tiniest experience of being a vampire - but he never fully embraced that part of him . . . which makes him wonder how much of a different would powers make someone.

Definitely a lot. If his soulmate is a monster, then, there's a good chance she isn't a good person. And he doesn't think he can accept that.

Why can't he just have you?

He sighed through his nose - he was starting to get tired of his own whining, his childish stubbornness.

He needed to break the silence.

'So, do you, uh, did Y/N talk about me? You know, about the one with the same handsome face, but the better personality? Her soulmate?'

Real fuckin' improvement, rattled in his mind, heavy on the sarcasm. But the question was shot, with a lot of due resentment.

Castiel levelled him with a dry look. 'Sometimes.'

He forced his facial muscles to remain poker. 'Oh?'

Castiel smartly didn't take the bait, just nodded.

Dean was beginning to think that spending time with you had taught him to answer with silence. The frustration from his initial months with you tried to claw at him, but he took a subtle,e steadying breath.

'Cas?'

'Yes?' he tilted his head, kept trudging forward.

'She's not . . . She's not planning to run away, is she?'

He was desperate to hear just one confirmation.

As if summoned by your mention, his name was called by you. And then Castiel's.

He turned with a certain amount of relief to see you, with Benny in tow.

'Where is Y/N?' Castiel asked.

Dean wondered the same.

Y/N appeared distressed. 'We lost her!'

'Y/N?' the green-eyed man confirmed, because the number of times she seemed to get lost was becoming unreal - did this woman not want to go home?

'Second and only,' Benny tsked.

'This is all your fault!' the first and only whipped to point fingers. 'You should've stayed with her!'

'And lose you? No chance.'

The blond man was secretly grateful. Something he wouldn't say out loud unless he wanted to get punched by you in the face.

'Look,' Dean expelled a breath. 'Focus here. Do we find her now or what?'

'We're so close to the portal,' groaned Benny.

'What?'

'She lied to you again, Chief. Cas here was supposed to lead you away from the battle and towards the portal,' he casually revealed.

'Benny!'

Dean's indignant eyes found Castiel's, who was grimacing. His anger settled deep in his belly, and he resisted picking up the same fight again - he was getting really tired of how helpless they were rendering him.

'You're fucking impossible, you know that?' Dean spat at you instead.

'Oh, I'm the impossible one!?' she practically screeched. 'You don't understand, do you!? Can't you see what we've done to one another!?'

Dean hesitated.

He's never seen you so mad, outwardly, at least - he knows how much you tend to suppress. And losing his soulmate was starting to become your undoing.

This is a mess - falling for you has been like falling into quicksand, and all he can feel is suffocated, and trapped.

'We make each other helpless, Dean!' she shrieked, verbalising what he never dared to.

Because despite feeling like the walls have been closing down on him, he still knew that falling for you has been his biggest high.

How toxic is that?

He didn't say that either.

Nevertheless, you seemed to know.

'This is not love! Not true love!' you stamped your feet petulantly. 'This is not right - why can't you fucking see that?! Love makes you strong, not so fucking weak like we've made one another! We can never be more; we can never be each other's strengths; we can never be together! Why can't you understand that?' Your tears brimmed.

His jaw clenched while the other two men shuffled on their feet uncomfortably.

Dean felt embarrassment reddening the tips of his cheeks and the expanse of his neck. Mostly, he felt you words decorate into his chest like pieces of shrapnel. Red-hot coal of anger cooked his brain.

'I didn't ask you to be with me,' he said, deadly calm. 'I just asked you to leave with me.'

Benny jumped to answer before you could double his misery. 'Problem solved. Chéri, here, is traveling back with us. Her deal with the Supreme Dwarf was altered the morning of two days ago, she's using the replica to end the Levithans.'

Another lie, he bitterly holds in.

He was there that morning. You could've simply told him that. Maybe then he wouldn't have simped after you for the last two days to Castiel. Maybe then the seemingly unforgiving lead in his chest would have lifted earlier.

As relieved as he was to hear it, a part of him was just more upset with you. How can you be so horrible to him?

'She is?'

Castiel was just as confused as him - Dean was secretly appeased (because you seemingly didn't tell Cas everything).

Before you can throw out your defences (none of which he has the patience to hear anymore), more of those bird whistles echoed through the forest - much louder than what he had heard back at the camp, two days ago.

Your face drained of color. 'Oh, fuck, no!' With that platitude, you sprinted off in the direction of where he now knows the portal is.

'Y/N, wait!' Castiel called out, running after you.

Dean and Benny exchanged an unhappy look, following suit.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

This is not how this was supposed to go down. Everything is falling apart.

The American is lost; you lost your shit on the human; half-truths were in the air; and now this.

That call was supposed to be rung in the last phase of the war! And not a second before Dean was out of here. Not only did the Dwarves violate that part of your request, but also they rang it near the fucking portal!

You ran faster than you had in years - so much so that you had a fucking stitch in your side (not a normal occurrence) by the time you reached the site.

There was the portal, thin, and multi-dimensional, glowing weird colours. Your eyes were already jumping to the multitude of Dwarves there.

'How could you do this to me!?' you hissed out to Kan-fir as soon as you stopped in front of him.

His brows slanted inwards. 'What?'

'This! Kan-fir, I told you not to call the end of the war until Dean is safely back home! But you called the Leviathans right here! To the only exit!'

You panted huffily, barely catching any breath in between your emotional outbursts, only soothed by the puffs of adrenaline in your system.

He looked genuinely befuddled. 'But Y/N one ask to meet Leviathans while she say goodbye to man human, the Dean!'

'When did I say—!?' your breath caught. 'That bitch!'

Your scream startled the Dwarves in the vicinity. 'You call King, bitch?' one of the civilians frowned in protest.

You could s-c-r-e-a-m.

Dean and Castiel called your name, alternatively - finally in range to be audible.

'Kan-fir, I didn't ask this - the American did,' you seethed.

'I talk you!' stepped up Sar-se. 'We left Yve-tt and you!'

'Well, obviously, you made a mistake!' you can't seem to not panic. 'Can you see Yve-tt here!?'

He actually checked.

You closed your eyes: Don't make Dwarves your football, don't make Dwarves your football . . .

'What we do?' Kan-fir asked.

I don't know, was seated on the tip of your tongue. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know . . .

Castiel's voice called your name out, much closer. He gave the Dwarves one look, and he knew - he was the only one who knew the whole plan.

Dean and Benny were at his heels.

'Y/N! Sweetheart, what—?'

His question was cut off by the loud thudding footsteps. Of the Leviathans. Their entire army had arrived.

This was the part you'd been dreading.

You had asked the Dwarves to call a "negotiation" after you'd safely seen Dean off to his homeland. Wherein the Dwarves and the Leviathans would have a final showdown, with both the Heads available (not much talking they would do), and they would fight to death . . . With the weapon.

'You have to leave,' Castiel gravely informed the other human.

'What's going on?'

'The last battle,' Benny grimly informed. 'Take us home, brother.'

Dean met your eyes, and you froze. You didn't know what he was looking for. You just knew you didn't have it.

He rolled one of his sleeves up, and began the spell, soon absorbing Benny's soul into his forearm; it squirmed like lava underneath his skin, Dean didn't react on the face-value, but his face had tightened.

'Come on,' he extended his other hand to you.

'What he doing, Y/N?' Kan-fir asked suspiciously.

'Well, well, well. Isn't this a party?' a gloating voice joined the chaos.

Your unyielding body finally stepped towards Dean, and to his side just as "Dick" and his entourage filed into the increasingly shortening clearing.

Kan-fir, followed by his loyal citizens swarmed all around their XXXL-sized comrades (you guys).

'We meet again,' Kan-fir replied with confidence - and a glint that scared most monsters.

Dick's face coiled in disgust, his eyes flitting between Kan-fir, and Dean, staying on the latter man for a second longer.

Your hands snaked around his Benny-free one and squeezed. 'You have to get to the portal, darling.'

'We do,' he quietly persisted.

You kept forgetting your lies to him. 'Right. Sorry.'

Neither of you still moved. The line of Dwarves - bless their little souls and bodies - provided zero cover.

'We didn't know you adopted a circus of freaks, brother.'

'Only freak Kan-fir see is you,' the little finger jabbed the air. He was proud of his improving English.

Dick's face twitched. 'I was hoping you would apologise to me. But I guess you haven't learned your lesson.'

'We teach you. We have weapon!' the little King boasted.

'You mean - this?'

The Leviathans parted and an unconscious Dwarf was spat out, and then much heftier, still conscious, monster.

Of fucking course! She got kidnapped. AGAIN!

'Does that woman have no skills?' you scoffed to yourself. Though a part of you was relieved that she was right where you could see.

Okay, okay, okay. Revised plan, you consoled yourself. I can do this. Everyone's here.

'You didn't think you'd be the only one with a plan, did you, you pesky little killjoy?' Dick smirked

His fingers encased something in his belt, and you belatedly realised what it was - when it stabbed into the heart of your doppelganger!

A scream was ripped from your lungs - and the world cranked into fast forward.

He ripped the dagger out and callously let her fall to the ground for the dead. Dean held you back, and you understood that you'd jerked in that direction by reflex. He was already dragging you to the portal.

The Dwarves yelled and crashed against the lines of Leviathans. The little minions were overwhelmingly good against the black-goo-filled crap-bags.

'Cas, come on!' Dean ordered over your head.

You were still in shock, your eyes fixated on your face-thief. A guilt and regret tugging at your insides, fighting against the shock.

You were too locked up in your own head to see the portal a foot away.

'Sweetheart, climb in!' Dean urgently demanded.

You locked eyes with his green irises, but it wasn't his voice that ran rampant in your mind.

You're mine, darlin'. Just mine. And I'm yours.

The haze in your mind was torn apart by a shout and a lunge of a sword that you only saw from the corner of your eye.

'Dean!' you finally found your voice.

You threw your body in front of him, and your momentum pushed him back into the portal. You gasped, falling into the ground with a pained cry, that was overridden by Dean's protesting one.

Your eyes blurred only for a second, but by the time you could see, you only noticed Dean's desperate countenance trying to get off the portal. Yet, the thin pocket of time and space has zipped up, and been lost to Purgatory forever.

The goodbye poised at the tip of your tongue was left unsaid . . . Forever.

You took a shuddering breath - unsure if it was from pain of the dagger lodged in your abdomen or the relief of knowing that Dean is finally safe.

I did it! The exhilaration did not last long though.

Your tremouring fingers grabbed the blade and the hilt tightly, and you gave yourself a count of three before you ripped it from yourself with a devastating sob. Your head fell back, and tears trekked down the sides of your face even though dark spots competed with them to take your vision first.

A laugh made you blink back everything. A Leviathan entered your periphery.

'Didn't know it would be so easy to take you down. For a legend, you're pathetic . . . Why are you smiling?'

You didn't know you were. 'Because,' you snapped your left leg with all your might into his knee, making him lose balance and fall forward into the waiting dagger. You hoisted upwards, ignoring the urge to hurl when your wound was pressurized; you grabbed a Borax arrow on the way. 'For a monster, you don't scare me.' Gruesomely, you struck his cerebral facilities; your arrow impaling the ground.

You granted your burning lungs a moment of oxygen before you stood. Your old mannerisms surfaced: stab, dodge, roll, repeat.

The place was crawling with both teams - but you're just looking for a good vantage point from where you can shoot Y/N - before she dies by herself, that is.

You saw many of the Dwarves you recognised, dying momentarily, and then waking up again, dusting off, and throwing themselves at the Leviathans with a new zeal.

Even Castiel was pitching in quite a lot, smiting all he could. Piling up decapitated Leviathans, and avoiding being eaten by the rest.

You guessed you were the most astonished by Kan-fir - and how . . . scrappy he was. No wonder he was the King with how he was running up and down Dick, finding new spots to bite, and using his toothpick-sized knife (coated in Borax) to weaken Dick from unusual places.

You downed another asshole; she took you down with a mean right-hook, you disabled her hands and head. That's when, through the shuffling footsteps, you saw her.

Propped weakly against a tree, eyes dropping, mouth leaking with drool and blood.

You grunted as you went, ducking two engagements with Leviathans and rushing to sidestep a shrieking Cee-cee who could deafen her enemy.

Y/N was in your full view now, when a punch into your side knocked you against the nearest tree.

Your hands broke your fall, except your jaw, which slammed and scraped. You groaned, having bitten your tongue; the metallic taste flooded your mouth.

The other Y/N whimpered, trying to slink away from you, but only managing to fall into the ground. She heaved heavily, otherwise motionless.

The Leviathan hauled you off the bark and lifted you by the collars. He beat you against the tree repeatedly and the quiver on your back shattered the fifth time, the arrows collected at your feet. Then, he framed you on the tree, letting the stray pieces of your broken quiver dig into your back while he used you as his punching bag. He scratched and clawed whatever skin he could reach. Then he dropped you, letting your weak legs crumble like grass under you. You fell to your knees, bruised and swollen all over. Your nose was broken, your lips torn. You knew for sure there was a black-eye because you could only squint with the left one. Your abdominal wound had taken a few more hits, which had spouted more blood, and you knew that you had a few broken ribs.

He walked past you knowing you were dead meat.

You swallowed the claret in your mouth, sniffling ever so slightly, your ears catching the tailend of his phrase, ' . . . stupid whore trying to steal the weapon on my watch.'

Your hands slung the bow off your body slowly, it was somehow intact after the cruel and relentless beating you took. Your fingernails dug around the ground in an effort to reach the stack of arrows - only two mattered to you.

Red for Y/N two . . . eviscerate on spot . . . blue for Y/N one . . . through the heart . . .

You took a total of five.

You used the tree you had been hit against as a support to stand.

The Leviathan gave you an impatient sigh. 'You humans are truly annoying, you know that?'

'Funny, was gonna say the same to you,' you taunted.

The man had beaten your torso, probably beyond recognition. Yet, he didn't touch your hands. A mistake his entire brethren would pay for.

You nocked and shot the red arrow. It whizzed through the air and cut into the American's elbow. She imploded into thin air like a sack of pollen grains.

'You missed!' he scoffed gleefully. 'You just destroyed your own weapon!' There was a teasing lilt to his dimples.

'If you want to kill an artist, you don't take their life. You take their livelihood; their hands,' you said, taking that time to align your Borax arrows.

'You think you're an artist? Girl, you're a wackjob!'

'Artists of war often are,' you smirked. 'You ready to die?'

'You gonna miss again?' he taunted.

'Oh, but darlin', I never miss,' you grinned. 'She was a weapon. I just never said we'd use her.' The three arrows stretched back.

His smile evaporated as the meaning dawned on him. 'Why would the Dwarves call this negotiation if not to eradicate us?'

'That's for me to know, and you to die for,' you winked.

The arrows were too quick for him to move away. His head separated from his body, and he would make sure he never woke up again. All with one arrow.

There was a scream of horror and your small victory was overshadowed.

Dick was laughing and the Dwarves gaped in a singular terror where in the middle of the ground lay Kan-fir with the Leviathans' ultimate weapon sheathed through the middle of his body. It was the weapon they had used on Y/N's body. They thought her blood was the key to killing the Dwarves population.

An ominous air ensued the clearing, and the Dwarves acted their part in exchanging petrified and uncertain looks - any second now, they were looking at each other to start dropping like flies in the presence of a mosquito coil.

Or so they were good at pretending.

The Leviathans started hooting and cheering, they started disentangling with the Dwarf population because it was only common sense that the death of such a powerful Leader would blast a wide area around him, making a fatality of anyone in the near vicinity.

Dick remained nearest to Kan-fir for the longest while, waiting for the first signs of sizzling to start before he made his triumphant retreat.

Everyone had been so focused on Kan-fir's death that no one noticed you sneak up on Dick.

If only they knew that they needed the weapon to be enjoined with the Leader in death.

The blue arrow was poised at your heart, and you stood back-to-back with Dick.

You're mine, darlin'. Just mine. And I'm—

You stabbed yourself, driving the weapon with force, through you and into another chest.

More shouts aired, and Dick gasped. Your breath got stuck in your lungs. His chest pierced in the same line as yours. You don't think you'd quite managed to get your fluttering organ, but you did know at least one major artery had been hit, or you'd at least nicked your heart - that would be enough.

You're scary, you know that?

Both of you fell haphazardly to your knees, and then to a side. With the few blinks you'd left, you saw the Leviathans yelling in terror - ruing the day they made this cocky jerk their Leader, scampering off - but they would die no matter where they went.

What do you mean?

It was the Dwarves and the other monsters who would lose their lives in vain if they didn't make themselves scarce. You both would explode any second now.

I mean, I'm scared of you.

Castiel was extremely blurry when he crouched next to you, his voice so distant that you got the feeling of being underwater. Your memories washed away as you sank deeper into your drowning; you would never have to cry over a memory again.

You closed your eyes, thinking to Castiel: Run!

He hadn't budged when your e/cs opened again.

Please, you prayed. I forgive you . . . Run . . . .

You both knew the weight of that. He didn't want to leave. Yet, there was nothing he could do to help; he felt your life force taper.

The last thing you heard was the flap of his wings.

And it was lights out.

You were dream-scaping again.

You were revisiting a time that followed right after a memory you'd already seen.

Frustrated tears built in her eyes. 'I do want to go home . . . I can't believe I'm doing this . . . Kan-fir,' something changed in her eyes, 'I need to talk to you alone.'

He frowned, but relented. Others left.

'What are the requirements to be a weapon?' you asked determinedly.

He listed off on his tiny fingers. 'A monster who a Leader. But don't have anyone to take care, so when Leader die, no follower die.'

'Great,' you nodded. 'Okay, so you're saying I can do it.'

'Did you no listen?'

'If I send Dean back, I'll be a Leader of humans when there aren't any to take care of.'

'You got no monster magic!' he countered.

'Yes, I do! I was once an archangel! That's got to count, right? I can no longer activate it, but once you've been a monster, you can't go back.'

He shook his head. 'Tall shot. Kan-fir no like tall shots.'

She all but pleaded. 'Kan-fir, trust me, this will work! It must.'

'You not a monster!' he said heatedly.

'You, yourself said, that monsters are relative. You called humans monsters because we made you take to the walls, and cling to the shadows. The American is not a monster because of her powers, she is one because humans pushed her away!'

You couldn't believe your eyes or ears . . . She defended you?

'But. Tall, tall shot.'

'Please.'

'Tall, tall, tall shot,' he reiterated, agitated.

Her temper snapped. 'Kan-fir, what will remain the difference between you and the Leviathans if you use an innocent's life for your gain?'

He seemed riled up. 'But, Y/N two, we no like.'

'Let me not shock you, Kan-fir - but saving people even if you don't like them can be the line you draw between you and your so-called brothers! That will be the mark of your betterment. Let me die, and you whip her up a cure - that's when you'll have proven that you deserve to live more than the Leviathans do!'

His shoulders sagged. 'But, you, we like, little. This is not standard double?'

She tamed, 'No. Because you kill her and you leave us both with nothing. You let me sacrifice, and you let us both have the lives we need.'

The little man huffed. 'Me no like . . . But. Kan-fir go make special arrows. One for her . . . and one for you.'

'That's all I ask. Oh, and, uh, set up a negotiation,' she pinched the bridge of her nose as she remembered.

'With Leviathans?'

'Yes. I'll let you know when. And where.'

'You say goodbye there?'

'Goodbye to who?'

'Purgatory.'

She chuckled, 'Uh, yeah, yeah. But first, I need to retrieve the other Y/N, and, uh, take care of Dean.'

The colours diluted into something else.

Dean was looking down on a gorgeous, picturesque city littered with equal parts treehouses and the forest that only got denser from the edge of the city line. The man of about six-foot-one was unbothered by your dreamwalking presence. His burly frame leaned on the railing, his teeth ground now and again.

'Dean!' a voice like yours just thickly layered with a British accent, called.

Dean didn't turn.

'Out 'ere!'

Your face-thief rushed in.

She looked breathtaking in her custom-made formal gown, adhering to her like a second skin.

'You aren't dressed,' she said, sounding exhausted.

'Why bother, darling?' he glanced at her over his shoulder, quickly looking away as if he was stopping himself from fully appreciating you. 

His moodiness didn't deter her. Approaching him with a scowl, she ducked under one of his hands so that she could efficiently betwixt his arms and the railing. She had to lean back so their heads wouldn't clang.

So up close, she didn't leave Dean a choice . . . His eyes dipped down, admiring, and Dean was now too busy being taken with you to gain distance.

'Aren't you afraid someone'll spot you?' he snarked.

She made a face at him that verged on hurt. 'Why won't you be there?'

When he tussled with his dilemmas for too long, she investigated further.

'Are you jealous?' her pout was too hopeful to succeed.

He would not let his insecurities overcrowd her stress. 'Of?'

'Other suitors coming to see me,' she said, hope dwindling.

'I'm giving them a fighting chance,' he dipped his head down challengingly. 'If I come, you won't give them the time of your day.'

She rolled her eyes.

'Daydreaming, are we?'

A tad bit offended, Dean scoffed.

He captured her lips punishingly, pressing her back into his balcony railing. His hand glided up to her jaw, tipping her head backwards so he could devour her to his heart's content.

You had to look away in shame and modesty.

When they could part, Dean was chirpier. 'Felt pretty real to me,' he winked.

She blushed hotly.

'What if I find someone else tonight?' she asked, weirdly sounding desperate. 'Handsomer, maybe? More charming?'

'Woman, please,' he curled a finger under her chin, locking eyes with her. 'You can't find someone handsomer. And heck, even if you find someone with my exact face, you won't be able to pick them. Know why?'

'Why?'

'You're mine, darlin',' he shrugged. He had never been more sure of anything in his entire life. 'Just mine. And I'm yours.'

Tears clogged her tear ducts. You could almost feel them, they were tangible to you . . .

'Prove it?' she held her breath.

His eyes narrowed. 'At . . . the Ball,' he guessed.

'It's like one mind,' she whispered weakly.

Dean's stoic mask wavered. 'You know you'll be all right, right? I'm right here. I'm not going to let some goddamn idiot whisk you away; I'll be the idiot then.'

She chortled. 'I am taking this very rationally, Dean. I am rational.'

'You're everything,' Dean uttered.

The dream dissolved into another.

The most recent one: the battle site where you'd been shot.

You see some of the Dwarves extracting the dagger from Kan-fir, and him gasping for air, as he sits up. The Leviathans are running away in the backdrop. Even the Dwarves have a certain sense of urgency to their movements. As soon as Kan-fir gets his bearings, he gives one sad glance to his right, and runs off with his subjects.

Where Kan-fir had gazed, you see Castiel kneeling before your face-thief.

An arrow ran through her heart, and into the centre of Le Dick Roman. Their blood, red and black pooling under their bodies as they lay back-to-back - Dick already gone, and Y/N on her way.

Castiel, close to tears, takes a regretful breath and a flutter of the wind indicates his take-off.

The clearing is empty and silent when you see her last breath escape her.

Everything is too still.

They blast. 

The Purgatory shakes.

And you know that the Leviathans are extinct.

The scene has already transformed since the explosion.

You were in a pitch black room when an arrow came shooting across, out of nowhere, and it fleshed your elbow.

You felt like all your atoms scattered.

You woke up with a scream.

Your hands were already searching your body for wounds you knew you'd acquired from being kidnapped by the Leviathans. (Again. Seriously, that had to have been a world record of being kidnapped so many times in such a short span.)

But there was nothing. You were in the middle of a fucking forest, one akin to the nightmarish kind you'd apprently just escaped.

You were in the same clothes as you'd been when you died, yet, there was not one hole in them. Not a speck of claret either.

You would have believed that you had been dreaming this whole time (wouldn't be so surprising, downside of being a dreamwalker - scary, but not surprising) if you hadn't looked around the floor to find a red feathered arrow with a gold ring attached just under the arrow head.

This all had been real.

Someone had truly died to save you.

Guilt consumes you: you killed a human being. For the first time, you killed an actual person . . . You really are a monster now.

Tears perched on the rims of your eyes. Your arms wrapped around yourself unconsciously, and finally found one injury.

You checked your elbow where the arrow had skinned you. You knew right then it would scar even if it wasn't bleeding right now . . . It would be the scar the Englishwoman had been looking for when she'd first met you.

A scar that would now forever stay with you as a reminder of your monstrosity. A scar that would be your connection to your European face-thief; well, that, and her soulmate ring she gave you as her parting gift.

A/N: Well, this is it ❤️🥹.

What did y'all think about the ending? I have a feeling I might get mixed reviews for this one 👀; by all means don't hold back 🙃.

And what did you think of the teeny-tiny cliffhanger about the English Reader 🫣?

Tag List.

@globetrotter28 @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @aylacavebear @emma1998sblog

@stanzie

[cherry-shugah]

Since Everyone Is Making HC abt how all jokers were once human, I'll Start with one of My favs

Yum yum Was a Asían🇯🇵/spanish🇪🇦 woman Who really admired plants and flowers (specially flowers) The reason Why She admired and adored them was Because they were beautiful, more beautiful than her, You see, Yum Yum (real name Kirāfurawā) never felt beautiful, although She was The Most gorgeus of her village, she always felt a lack of satisfaction of not being beautiful enough, that's why she loved flowers, she always wanted to be beautiful as them, and to people talk about her all day like how people talk about how beatiful flowers are. Yum Yum had meet a man that really loved, But once She was pregnant and 2 months, She suffered a miscarage, This broke Yum Yum's heart in sorrow and grief but the man she was with Just looked at her with disgust and leaved her. Then Yum Yum falled in love with another man and after Some Time, She was waiting For another baby But another miscarage came in, putting more stakes in her broken heart, The other Man She was with left her as the first, and it only broke Yum Yum more. Then after Some Time (Again) She meeted another other Man. Though Yum Yum was a bit doubtful about having a Child She knew She could Give it another shot, But When She had a Third miscarage, Yum Yum was on edge in fear of The other other Man She loved Leave her Because She was unable to Give birth to a child, She was Two footsteps close to a mental breakdown, When the other other Man was heading to The door, Yum Yum charged at him And grabbed a stakes and stab it behind His neck, so hard that The stake came out from His throat, Yum Yum was shocked But...She was blinded by the fear, still she wanted revenge.

She went to The Second man's house and Twisted His neck and pulled His tounge at the back of His cranium, She later wrote with a knife in His chest "i love You But You are The Second i meet". Then She went to The house of her first love, When She entered She noticed that he had a family, so Yum Yum killed the woman (Who was pregnant) and her first love, When She was done, She wrote in His chest "i love You".

Then after that, blinded by her thirst For blood and forgetting Why She was doing it in the first place, She began seducting and catfishing men into have intercourse with her and afterwards killing them. married men, Divorced men, Widowed men, dead men, any Type of men of her village or outside her village. Then, her sins slowly turned into blasphemies, commiting various horrendious acts that are far than consider them sins. She went to Town to Town continuing her Murder spree, She was slowly enjoying it, She hided all The bodies of The men She killed in bags and throw them to near-by rivers or lagoons. But then a fateful Day, When She was done having intercourse with a man, She was looking at a balcemy, But then one her neighboors By accident throwed a Pot that had very hot water, so hot that it was like acid, it falled to Yum yum's face and it burned the entirety of her face's skin, leaving her fave skinless, she screamed but fell down her balcemy that was 20 ft when she finally hid the ground her head separated itself from her neck making a huge pool of blood.

When her soul went to The judment, it Said that She didn't have a place in shangri-la or hell's pit. But She would be sended to The dark carnival. She then (horribly) transformed into a Carnivorous plant/flytrap plant. She was small But When She arrived She was a bit amazed By The beauty of The place, But When she heared Some baby noises, She looked down and Saw that Her legs had becomed a Vase But in that vase there were thre small plants, more smaller than her, they were looking at her making baby noises She soon realized that These were her Babies that She lost, She couldn't help to burst into crying, She was crying of happiness. The Wraith greeted her and took her to The necro-fields.

Welp, hope Ya'll enjoyed that Headcanon Lore-dump! I'll (possibly) do one For the Riddle box.

[iamnotawomanimagod]

what are your favorite lyrics from each song on TGI?

Oooh, this'll be fun!! Every song has so many good lines to choose from!

1 - "I think I'm special 'cause I cut myself wide open, as if it's honorable to bleed. But I'm not lucky and I know I wasn't chosen, the world keeps spinning without me. I told my mother I would die by 27, and in a way I sort of did. This thing I love has grown demanding and obsessive, and it wants more than I can give." - Only Living Girl in LA

2 - "I wanna go back to the beginning when it all felt right. A rooftop, lower East side, I'm singing, didn't give a fuck if I was winning, it's all done now, so who am I kidding? I'm doing way worse than I'm admitting." - Ego

3. "'Cause my dog died last year, he fell asleep in my embrace, and the very last thing I told him was 'see you soon, and we can race.' You know a mercy kill is what I seek, I didn't ask to live but dying's up to me." - Dog Years

4. "I don't wanna go to Grandma's so I'm quiet on the drive. I saw a deer that must've gotten hit, it made me start to cry. Did he have a mom and dad and do they argue just like mine?" - Letter to God (1974)

5. ...y'all know this is my least-favorite Halsey song right now, I'm sorry, I got nothing. (Panic Attack.)

6. "When I met him I thought I was damaged goods, from a real bad neighborhood, so we wrestled in the mud. And I told him he could stay right where he stood, but I don't know if he should, 'cause once my god destroys the flesh than there's the flood." - The End

7. "But that alliance didn't save me from her fate, no I didn't last 'til 28, became a single mom just crushed under the weight of a child growing faster than I can take." - I Believe in Magic

8. "I left home and moved to Brooklyn where my boyfriend had a place, and he had track marks on his arms but had the most angelic face." - Letter to God (1983)

9. "I didn't think that I was special, but I was too afraid to die like the others from my high school, all those sad suburban ghosts, trapped in a cross next to a highway, while the rest of us get old." - Hometown

10. "Trying to love you through an open wound, 'cause everything I put inside there just fell right through." - I Never Loved You

11. "What if I'm just cosmic dust? Put me in a metal box that's bound to rust. Shoot me into space and leave me to combust, return to earth and just dissolve into its crust. I was born all by myself. It's not unlikely that I'll die that way as well." - Darwinism

12. "And I will tear apart your bedroom, I will call you in the night, I will exist in every second just to decorate your life. And when you're done you can discard me, like the others always do, and I will nurse my wounds until another artist needs me new." - Lonely is the Muse

13. "Somebody will love me for the way that I'm designed - devastation, creation intertwined." - Arsonist

14. "You dangle me high over the drain and tell me I'm lucky you don't drop me there and let me wash away, or put me on display by trapping me forever between a glass and a dinner plate." - Life of the Spider (Draft)

15. "You know my father isn't dead, but it don't feel like he's still here. It's strange now that he's grey and getting older by the day, and my eyes tell me that he's harmless despite what my heart has to say." - Hurt Feelings

16. "A problem child, I was rough. But what do you do with a difficult grownup?" - Lucky

17. "Please god, oh you've gotta be sick. Why do you make it hurt and why's it over so quick?" - Letter to God (1998)

18. "I'm lying in a car crash in a pile of broken glass, it's funny how it looks like glitter from the overpass." - The Great Impersonator

And the BONUS TRACKS:

19. "Now the smart-ass white trash bitch is in the first class, well that's American-dreaming in a nutshell." - Alice of the Upper Class

20. "Three words and four syllables, doctor told me I'm not invincible, but I've been livin' like I was for far too long." - Charades

21. "I'm alive, that's a plus, but it's getting heavy, better lighten up. I'm a liar, I'm a lush. I don't think I'm ready to let go of the rush." - Lessons

22. "But my heart feels young and my brain feels old, and my back hurts way too often." - Nothing

23. "Creeping up on thirty, no excuses that I'm young. Is everybody having fun? Then my work here is done." - Afraid of the Dark

Thanks anon! That was a fun way to revisit TGI all over again. <#

[hannahssimblr]

OK, so, for Liam and Evie… just kidding! For Jude and Evie who are obviously together forever in my heart:

Their favourite place?

Who rakes in the highest income?

Who kills the spiders around the house? (this answer may vary depending on whether they're in the US or the UK!)

Spicy bonus question: Any kinks? 🌶️

hahaha Evie and Liam 4 ever <3 thanks for the questiioooons!

anywhere with a beach, though of course the one where they met and spent that first summer will always have a special place in both of their hearts <3

Jude, by far. In LA he was making around $90'000 per year, whereas Evie's income is more sporadic. It depends on the amount of work she can score as a freelancer, so her bank account fluctuates more dramatically.

Neither is afraid of them, so they'll probably just live alongside them for a while. Anything offensively big gets squished or drowned in the sink by whoever is closest though.

Remember this:

(The answer is yes - she liked it. She likes when he tells her what to do ;) ;) )

[faithinlouisfuture]

Louies' 2023 Wrapped Tag Game

(Rules: Answer the questions below and tag at least 3 people!)

Thank you bestie @berlinini for tagging me 🤍 sorry i’m so late on this, work’s been kicking my ass, here we go though!

favorite walls song: this year; don’t let it break your heart

favorite fitf song: impossible to pick just one but right now; holding on to heartache (which is funny considering my fav off of Walls this year)

most played song on Spotify by Louis: Written All Over Your Face (ok whore)

favorite louis lyrics: that’s actually an impossible task because there’s WAY too many! but “there’s endless versions of the thing that keeps me drifting back to darkness” hits home in a way that i can’t explain in words

louis life lesson: it always remains the same; picking yourself back up after facing hardships, seeing the possibilities and positives in a difficult situation; basically strength & resilience

favorite louis outfit: oh that’s unfair, my little fashionista kills it 99% of the time so i have a list of favorite 50 outfits from 2023 but for the purpose of this game we’ll narrow it down to three (and it’s not even top three just three that i loved)

favorite tour show: there were so many good ones this year (Phoenix, Austin, Houston, LA, Philly, New York, Bologna, Paris, Antwerp, Vienna, Łódź, Sheffield, Cardiff, London) but the way that I felt physically ill after fitfwt: Columbus might need to be studied for science; the whiplash from the stark difference of him during the show and him post show was entirely TOO MUCH

favorite public appearance: has to be the RS Awards; the slutty custom-made fit, the main character energy throughout, the confidence, the glow, the ever present eloquence with which he spoke about his work and his successful af year, just him him him <3

favorite AOTV scene: once again there’s so many; that scene where louis’ recording Saturdays and we get some insight into his thinking and his process, the montage of louis with band and crew having an absolute blast while All This Time plays in the background, that one scene where JD is helping him put his hoodie on after he broke his elbow 👀 the last few minutes of the movie where we hear him say the words “i do feel like i deserve this” 🫶🏽🥹 and so so many more actually

favorite band or crew member: favorite three :p are Krystle, Steve & Joshua! special shout out to Joshua for going above and beyond this year honestly! that man carried lthq on his back!

favorite picture: another unfair question but i won’t cheat and post one of my absolute most favorites from this year because it’s like the energy of his shows captured in one moment (i found out on twitter that the hand in his hair belongs to a desi louie which was like the cherry on top)

something that you are looking forward to in 2024: the fitfwt latam shows!!! there is nothing else like the energy the latam crowds bring, which in turn brings out the absolute best (and most unhinged) in louis and his band too, so definitely looking forward to that! and the festivals!!! can’t wait to see him shine in front of the world <3 hope against hope to be a part of it if things work out 🤞🏽🕯️

one wish for Louis (or Louies) for 2024: 🍑🐧🎧 sighting! kidding (not really)! honestly though, growth

growth in this fandom’s level of maturity (with the addition of lots more people who are here for louis’ art and not his personal life), growth in the markets he’s able to capture, growth in the places he’s able and willing to tour *cough*ASIA*cough*, growth in the ability of his teams especially his social media and PR teams, growth from Louis himself in regards to him being open to trying new things

i don’t know who all has done this! but i’ll tag some people just in case (no pressure) @noraincsl @timidlouie @poekitty2020 @stormyhale @louveyous

[tctteredwings]

was ana reis. [ lydia west, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! ANNA RILEY just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for 19 YEARS, working as a YOUTUBE GAMER/HACKER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 29 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit ECCENTRIC and IMPATIENT, but i know them to be PRECOCIOUS and DECISIVE whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to THE BRONX!

IN A NUTSHELL; headscarves and sweatshirts, the sound of a kettle whistling, pink headphones, notes scribbled on every surface, ripped overalls, dancing in her underwear, thinking and talking about two different things, an encouraging smile, escaping to the beach and the sound of the ocean.

Name: Anna Riley Nicknames: None Age: Twenty-nine Date of birth: 26th August 1995 Birth place: Los Angeles, California Occupation: YouTube Gamer/Hacker Romantic/sexual orientation: Heteroromantic/heterosexual

ABOUT.

Anna grew up in Los Angeles ( well... technically Venice, LA ) and as such, has always kept a very special place in her heart for the ocean and the feeling of the sand between her toes.

So when her family announced the move over to the East Coast just after she turned nine, it was safe to say her world was turned upside down. Yes, she lived in a city —- or on the edge of one of them —- she New York was known to be very different.

She survived. Just about. Tolerated school and the people she found herself surrounded by. Eventually, her tolerance turned to indifference, then her indifference turned to liking... something that would finally turn to love. By the time she was sixteen, she knew that New York was where she wanted to be. And it wasn't as though the beach was that far away.

Anna's only problem after that was other teenagers. She'd always been a little eccentric, a loner of sorts, and because of that, she was made fun of. Yes, she was a geek, but what was wrong with loving her laptop and answering every question in a test correctly?

In the end, she spent much of her teen years alone, but it allowed her to discover new passions. She befriended a small group of people and embraced her love for gaming. It was pretty much all she did when she wasn't at school. In fact, she found she was actually pretty good.

The idea to put those gaming sessions on YouTube came around her twenty-first birthday and before she knew what was happening, she was making money for herself away from competing in tournaments. ( She doesn't exactly class herself as a pro gamer, but you could probably call her that. )

Hacking came later. and is something she only does occasionally She's been good with computers since a very early age and she soon realised she could help people out in not-so-legal ways every now and again. Mostly she does favours for friends, but every now and again she'll get talked into taking money.

Anna's an extremely passionate person, but she's never been too good at committing to anything other than her games and her subscribers. As such she's kind of had a revolving door of guys in her life, never really giving herself over completely. Not to say that she hasn't tried, though.

When she's not plugged into her computer you'll usually find her at the beach or sipping tea at Rise & Grind.

Her parents are originally from Montserrat and emigrated to the US shortly after they were married. She visits the island at least once a year to see her father's parents, sometimes spending whole summers out there.

Anna would love a pet, like love a pet, but she doesn't dare as she's pretty sure she'd end up killing it by accident. As maternal as she likes to think she can be, she really isn't.

TLDR; Anna was originally a Cali girl and moved to NYC at the age of nine with her family. It took her a while to adjust but she can safely say she's very much a New Yorker now. She was a bit of a loner as a teen and a total geek, her passion for gaming and all things tech took over pretty quickly. At twenty-one she launched her YouTube channel, quickly followed by Twitch, and things took off for her in a big way. She also does a bit of hacking on the side, but only for friends as a 'favour'. She's a very passionate person who finds it almost impossible to commit, so is pretty well known for her revolving door of guys.

[empressofthesunwriter]

Kill La Hero: 15

In the lottery of Quirk’s Michi got on really special and annoying one. A living, sarcastic ribbon named Ares, who puts her into superpowered revealing outfits. But this won't stop the girl from fulfilling her dream of being a hero! Just watch her!

(But not too closely please!)

MHA MEETS KILL LA KILL!

Chapter 15: Let the Battles Begin

After Izuku won against Shinso, he was brought to Recovery Girl to fix his fingers.

Michi, Tenya and Ochaco still talked about how amazing Izuku had been, how he had managed to overcome the brainwashing and how happy they were for him moving up to the Quarter-Final Round.

That's when Ochaco saw Izuku coming to class 1A tribune.

"Oh, Deku! Good work!", she called and waved.

So fast no one could look as Michi jumped up from her seat and raced up to the boy.

"Izu-Chan!", she shouted happily and embraced him. "You were amazing!"

The green-haired boy blushed softly and hugged her tight back.

"Michi-Kun...thanks."

They stopped hugging, as Michi took his hand with the bandage fingers in hers, giving them a little kiss.

Izuku blushed harder but had a soft and loving look in his eyes.

"T-to kiss it better, mmh?", he stuttert.

Michi looked up, with the same eyes and nodded.

Both were clearly in lovey-dovey land.

All their classmates stared and sweatdropped at them.

Oh gods, kiss finally you idiots!, they all thought.

Sadly they didn't, a lot groaned silently, as Michi led Izuku to their seats beside Ochaco and Tenya.

Now the second battle took place.

Shoto Todoroki vs. Hanta Sero!

Hanta started the battle by using his tape to try to push Shoto out of bounds. However, Shoto responded by creating a huge pillar of ice, which completely immobilized Hanta and freed himself at the same time. Since Hanta couldn't move at all, he was declared the loser, and Shoto was declared the winner, advancing to the second round. Shoto then approached the almost frozen Hanta, apologized for his actions, and thawed him out with his firepower.

Michi and Izuku found each other eyes.

"Is it just me or-", began Michi.

"Does Todoroki look really sad?", enden Izuku.

Both their hearts got out to their classmate.

Since Shoto froze nearly the whole stage, it takes a while to melt it, but when it's ready it's time for Denki Kaminari vs. Ibara Shiozaki!

The third match of the first round ends quickly; Ibara defeats Denki by using her type advantage Quirk, Vine, to make his Electro Quirk backfire on him.

Kyoka facepalms hard at Denki's defeat as Monoma from 1B looks over to them and mocks them.

Then he gets knocked out by his classmate Itsuka Kendo, who apologises for him, being a brat.

Class 1A was just like what had happened?

That's when class 1A noted Izuku's analysis of the Quirks, writing it down in his notebook.

Just Michi didn't seem bothered and nodded along.

"They just finished, but Deku already thinking about countermeasures for them?", whisper-shoutes Ochaco to Michi.

Michi nods with a besotted look.

"Yeah isn't he amazing?"

All of class 1A deadpanned and thought the same: She is so gone for him!

"It's a hobby of his.", explains Michi, while Izuku theorizes about the Quirks to his heart contents. She would make sure, he wrote all down what goes through his head. "It's not every day he gets a chance to see amazing Quirks outside of those in our class."

"Really?", asked Ochaco.

"Yeah, he has even a whole notebook dedicated to my Quirk.", admitted Michi with red cheeks. You can clearly see how honoured she feels about this. "I bet he has something about your Quirk too. Izu-Chan?"

Only Michi's lovely voice could get Izuku out of his zone, so he turned bliking to her.

"Yeah, what is it Michi-Kun?"

"What do you have about Ochaco-Chan Quirk in your notebook?"

"Of course!", he showed the girls the page. "The Zero Gravity of Uraraka is amazing."

"That's true.", agreed Michi.

This made Ochaco blush.

"Aww, you two are so nice! I always thought you guys were amazing!"

Also an amazing and cute couple!, she added in her head, while Izuku and Michi thanked her and said she was amazing too.

Then it's time for the fourth match.

Their Tenya VS Mei Hatsume!

Both wore support items, but students of the hero course normally can only wear them when they have a petition like Aoyama.

However Tenya explain passionately how Mei said they should fight equally and that's why he agreed to wear them, this moves Midnight and she accepts it.

During their match, Mei takes the opportunity to advertise her support equipment and items.

After ten minutes of cat and mouse, Mei, feeling that she has effectively showcased her support gear to everyone, walks out of bounds.

Tenya wins as a result of this action, but he is not pleased with Mei using him for her own purposes.

"Tenya's earnest, so she probably said some things that sounded good to get him on board.", theorized Izuku shaking. "Hatsume's not just honest, she will also use any means to reach her goal. Amazing!"

Michi had an eyebrow raised and nodded along.

None of the two noted how Ochaco stood up and walked away.

Now comes the Fifth Match: Yuga Aoyama vs. Mina Ashido.

"I hope Mina wins, Aoyama goes on my nerves.", confessed Michi to Izuku.

"Don't tell me, it's because he is French and you Italian?"

"I plead the fifth!"

"Michi-Kun!"

The battle begins with Aoyama firing his navel laser at Mina, but she secretes acid from her feet and uses it to quickly slide across the stage. 

Aoyama continues shooting beams at her, while Mina claims she already knows his weakness because they trained together during the Battle Trial. 

Mina keeps dodging Aoyama's barrage of beams.

After he misses a rather large shot, his stomach begins to hurt, and Mina seizes the opportunity.

She throws acid onto his belt, breaking it and causing his pants to drop. 

The girl takes advantage of the opening and finishes him with a strong uppercut.

She wins!

"God, it didn't need to see his underwear.", whines Michi and hides her face in Izuku's shoulder.

Amused he pats her head.

"There, there Michi-Kun, also you should get going, it's your turn now!"

"Oh right!"

With a quick cheek kiss to Izuku, who of course blushes, Michi raced down to the arena.

"Ares are you ready to face Momo?"

"Let's do it, whirlwind!"

"Now, we've got no time to lose! Let's move on to the sixth match!", announced Present Mich as Michi and Momo walked up the fighting stage. "Offense and defence in one body! The warrior princess is accompanied by the entity Ares! From the hero course, it's Massaro Michela alias Michi! Versus-- All-purpose Creation! She was admitted through recommendations, so her abilities are certified! From the hero course, it's Momo Yaoyorozu!"

Both girls stared at each other, thinking how to best beat their opponent.

Momo knew Michi was physically stronger than her she needed something to help her push the other girl out of the ring and also there was this new technique she showed during the cavalry battle.

Had Michi more surprises up her sleeve?

Michi and Ares just stared Momo down with their red eyes.

They formally burned.

N-No, I can't get demotivated because the two are so calm. I need time to create and then-

Then the battle started!

Surprised Momo gasped as Michi seemed to vanish, but the salmon-haired girl just ran as fast as she could towards Momo.

I'm sorry Momo, but this will be over!

Something hard hit Momo in the chest.

A fist!

Michi's fist!

The black-haired girl coughed and felt how some of her bones cracked and fell down on the floor.

Knocked-out.

Midnight waited a few seconds before she declared: "Yaoyorozu can't fight anymore, the winner is Massaro!"

"This was probably the fastest fight we have seen today. Massaro Michi and Ares are a force of nature!", shouted Present Mic enthusiastically, as Michi waved at the people celebrating her.

Momo was brought to Recovery Girl, even if Michi knew, she only hit the other girl where it was sure she could get knocked out.

Still, she felt a bit bad as she walked back to the class 1A tribune.

"Damn, your girlfriend is merciless.", said Ojiro to Izuku. "She didn't even bat an eye as she punched Momo out."

"Michi and Ares are the strongest Quirk Users I know. Even Kacchan can't beat her and he tried it often enough. I know she would win, it was not even a question.", answered Izuku, just to turn red and shriek. "M-Michi i-isn't my girlfriend, s-she is just my best friend."

"SUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!", chorused the whole of class 1A together.

"I don't believe you!", added Mineta.

That's when Michi returned.

"I hope Momo will be okay...so did I miss something guys?"

Izuku stood up and waved his hands around.

"N-Nothing, you missed nothing Michi-Kun!"

She blinked confused as she noted how Tenya and Ochaco were missing.

So she asked Izuku where they were.

He didn't know either, so the two searched for their friends.

They found them in the Player Waiting Room 2.

"Ochaco-Chan, Tenya!", greeted Michi as Izuku and her entered the room. "There you are."

Tenay bowed.

"I'm sorry I didn't watch your match Michi, I was worried for Ochaco."

"I'm sorry too, I should have supported you.", admits Ochaco ashamed. "How did it go?"

Izuku put a proud hand on Michi's shoulder, while she smiled at them.

"She knocked out Momo with one punch. Michi has qualified for the next round."

Tenya gave her his congratulations and Ochaco stood up to hug her friend.

Michi hugged her tight back and then took her face in her hands.

"So what is bothering you Ochaco-Chan, is it your fight with Bakugo?"

The brunette nodded.

In comfort, Michi took her hands and squeezed them.

"Ochaco-Chan, Bakugo may seem dangerous but when you know how to handle him, you can beat him. I did it often enough!"

Izuku nodded in agreement and showed her his hero notebook.

"Michi and I came up with a rough strategy, how you can use your Quirk to beat Kacchan. Please let us help."

Touched Ochaco looked at her friends before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She let go of Michi's hands and walked over to the door.

"Michi-Chan, Deku I admired you both so much. I keep seeing more and more amazing sides of you guys. During the cavalry battle, I thought it'd be easier to team up with friends, but now that I think about it, I might've been trying to rely on you two. That's why, when Tenya said he'd challenge Deku, it actually made me feel a little embarrassed."

The other started to protest, but Ochaco continued: "That's why it's fine. Everyone's facing the future and trying their hardest. That means we're all rivals, right? That's why, let's meet in the finals!"

Ochaco gave them a shaking thumbs up.

"Wait, Ochaco-Chan before you go!", Michi walked swiftly up to her and planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

The other girl blushed surprised, as the boys stared.

Izuku the most.

Michi didn't give cheek kisses to anyone.

So it had to mean something.

"This is not a good luck kiss, but a promise kiss!", explained Michi, her red eyes burning as she took Ochaco's hands and squeezed them. "I know you can beat Bakugo and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you are already an amazing hero. Your Quirk will demolish him."

Now tears gather in Ochaco's eyes and both girls hugged each other tightly.

"Break his fucking femur!"

"I will Michi-Chan!"

Both girls seemed to be burning like suns!

"Girls, breaking femurs is a bit too much!", told Tenya making his hand chop.

"Let them Tenya, that's a girl thing, I'm sure.", said Izuku. "Or at least a Michi and Ochaco thing."

After the boys wished Ochaco luck, the three who didn't fight got back to the tribune, while Ochaco had to face Bakugo now in the arena.

The match between Bakugo and Ochaco kicks off with Ochaco taking the initiative.

She lunges towards Bakugo, but he swiftly counters with an explosive attack.

As the dust settles, Bakugo attempts to seize Ochaco, only to discover that her jacket is all that's left.

Seizing the opportunity, Ochaco manoeuvres herself behind Bakugo to launch a surprise attack, but his lightning-fast reflexes allow him to fend her off with another explosive blast.

Despite the barrage of explosive attacks from Bakugo, Ochaco expresses her gratitude for his vigilance, as it enables her to put her plan into action - creating a distraction by manipulating the rubble using her Quirk.

She unleashes a meteor shower of debris, with the intention of launching a direct offensive using her Quirk.

However, Bakugo retaliates with a colossal explosion, annihilating Ochaco's meteor shower and sending her crashing to the ground.

Despite her valiant effort to rise, Ochaco's injuries overwhelm her, leading to her collapse.

Midnight attends to her and announces that Ochaco is unable to continue, declaring Bakugo as the victorious contender.

"GOOD FUCKING DAMN IT!", screams Michi. "SHE NEARLY HAD HIM! FUCK!"

The salmon-haired girl was standing up, waving angrily her fists around.

Izuku and Tenya can only silently agree.

And so the first round of the final was over and in the next round the Quarter-Final Round the matches were:

Izuku Midoriya vs. Shoto Todoroki

Tenya Ida vs. Ibara Shiozaki

Michela Massaro vs. Mina Ashido

Katsuki Bakugo vs. Eijiro Kirishima!

[kylo-wrecked]

Horror themed sentence starter: ❛ there you are, my darling! ❜

A harbour full of ships stood as a tribute to the bustle of Singapore. Rows upon rows of them, coming and going with goods and people and the dreams of magnates sitting in high offices far from the open sea. Like its port, the city it was always moving. Writhing. Ebbing. Flowing. Layers upon layers of goods and people and dreams. The air was weighted by the equator. The streets were cleaner than New York. 

He’s in a cafe. His hair is longer. She wondered if it bothered him, to have it curl around his ears like that. She wondered if he knew he was being watched. If he knew that a man drinking a latte four tables away studied his every move. She wondered if he knew the man was armed. If he knew the trouble he was in.

She wondered if he still took his coffee the same way. 

His trouble smelled of red-ink and rubber. The kind that came in a sealed envelope with newspaper clippings, photos, and page six nicknames that were unkind but not, perhaps, untrue. There was a number too, attached to his mother. This wasn’t an assignment she’d normally be given. Special request. Drowned in red tape and red flags. It’d piss off her father. She’d accepted. 

His features were sharper than the fuzz of memory had allowed. Sharp, like words said on concrete streets and through mobile phones. Sharp enough to puncture. To wound. To maim. Sharp enough. 

She approaches from his peripheral; pressing the past down with training and stubbornness. The latte in the corner shifts. So did a cappuccino by the window. An unexpected inconvenience, dressed in silk. 

“There you are, my darling” her arm slips around him, hands moving the way lovers do. Her lips press to his jaw, tangling a whisper into the hair that curled around his ears. “Play along.”

There were other words she’d have said first, under different circumstances. Probably ‘fuck’. Probably fumbled over. She sits opposite him, gaze quiet and unwavering. “Are you ready to go? I have so much to tell you.”

For him, mornings were Kopi-O and kaya toast. Mornings were passing by barefoot women in front of Sri Mariamman Temple, as junior college students lined up for chicken rice lunch on the corner, and crows feasted from the nearby hawker center, barking at humans who dared intrude upon their trays. A walk. Chinatown stone, savory drafts from the bakkwa shops, sun. Solitude. Sequestration.

This late morning brings Ben to Clarke Quay, a cluster of rowhouses and boats splashed with the colors of the rainbow, a bobbing tourist trap. A good place to disappear, to observe unbothered, because his presence here, as an ex-pat, is rote. He can linger (behind charcoal Moscots) and languish (in washed linens). Without being watched, or so he thinks.

Ben should know when the hairs on the back of his neck prick or when the café conversation he's been scrawling bits and pieces of in a paper bag notebook takes a precipitous departure:

'She's Ah Lian.'

'No, she's just white, la. Only crazy rich Americans come to SG dressed like that.'

'Good looking Americans.' 

[Hokkien] 

'Ew, la! So crass.' 

The tone and volume of their conversation morphs again into something more delicate. Of course, Ben jumps. His heart jumps. He doesn't take the touch for a stranger's, but he doesn't take it well. Gripping his pen, jaw tensing into something slicing, eyes narrowing beneath the cirrus of dark locks he refuses to brush aside. Can she feel him twitch?

He leans his brawn (notably sparser, hollowed out by heat and a persistent dullness he can't kill) as far back as the wall and chair will go without him toppling it. Ben wonders if this is easy for her, if Brunnhilde might even take pleasure in the scheme. He doesn't wonder why she's here or meet her gaze. He stares into the coffee grounds at the bottom of his cup, reads his omen. A black scud of an omen.

"What a pity." Ben sucks his teeth and raises his eyebrows. "I was just on my way to see my attorney. Give me the elevator pitch, and he'll take it from there." 

Then he rises, stretching his long legs. Settles his bill with cash and his notebook on his person, lights a cigarette on the curb while he, unbelievably, waits for Brunnhilde until she joins him outside, rustling silk, lithe, lightly freckled shoulders. Briefly, he wonders how she's not sweating, if the fabric's supposed to cling to her navel, or if every inch of it's drenched. 

"Seriously?" Ben turns to her and lays his gaze over hers. Smoke on his lips. "I don't want to know who cleared this." 

His gaze is not quiet, though his voice is. Ben keeps it low. Exhales into the baseline resounding from Chupitos, the spider's web paned canopies, the mash of bodies, slippers, t-shirts, tudong. 

No offer to share the cigarette. No sea, no tangle of bedsheets.

"I'm ready to 'go.'" he says. "Shall we?" 

[devilmaycry3dantesawakening]

panty and stocking was far from the first anime i'd ever watched but rewatching it a couple years back after the second season announcement was my gateway into wrangling my ADHD long enough to actually start watching anime (and other shows) more often. if i hadn't watched it i probably would never have gotten so deeply into gunbuster or gurren or kill la kill or utena or anything else i've evangelized about on this blog for the last few years. so the funny vulgar gross saturday morning cartoon parody will always hold a special place in my heart solely for that.

[jcdedmemories]

Welcome to New York {LILIANA NUNEZ} !! They are a {55} year old {CIS WOMAN} who uses {SHE/HER} pronouns. They’re a {THERAPIST} who has been in town for {15 YEARS} living in {MANHATTAN}. When looking at {LILIANA} you automatically think of {BLACK SKIRTS/DRESSES, PIPING HOT TEA, NICE JEWELRY} but that probably makes sense since they also remind you of {GINA TORRES}. You can always hear {TELL IT TO MY HEART} by {TAYLOR DAYNE} coming from their place. Who knows what kind of trouble they’re going to get themselves into.

CHARACTER INFORMATION:

full name: liliana mae nuñez

nickname(s): lil, lili, lili mae

pronouns & gender: she/her. cis woman

sexuality: bisexual

age: fifty-five

relationship status: it’s complicated but single

birth date: april 25, 1969

birth place: portland, maine

time in town: fifteen years since 2009

occupation: therapist @ haggar-fox shelter

parents: rafael & briana nuñez

siblings: none

personality: witty, impulsive, personable, blunt

pet: pomeranian named skye

APPEARANCE:

celebrity doppelgänger: gina torres

height: 5'10"

hair color: brown

eye color: brown

FAVORITES:

color: maroon

non-alcoholic beverage: polar tangerine seltzer

alcoholic beverage: cabernet sauvignon 

season: winter

candle scent: midnight sky

book: to kill a mockingbird by harper lee

video game: n/a

tv show: real housewives of atlanta

animated tv show: n/a

movie: girls trip

holiday movie: a christmas story

disney movie: cincerella

pixar movie: finding nemo

disney original movie: n/a

candy: sweedish fish

chocolate candy: whoppers

Fruit: honey crisp apple

Vegetable: brussel sprouts

cuisine to eat: anything seafood

cuisine to make: omelette

genre of music: pop

artist: taylor dayne

song: tell it to my heart by taylor dayne

BIOGRAPHY:

Liliana was blessed in the fact that she never had to worry about not having enough food on her table. Being the only child to Rafael and Briana Nunez, they decided to treasure every moment that they had with their child. Liliana was a smart kid and it was no question that she was going to grow up and be something special. While her parents worked more blue collared jobs, they knew that she was going to go farther than they were ever able to. 

It was no surprise to them that she graduated high school at the top of her class and she was off to the university of Maine. They had a great psychology program and was so excited to pursue her dream of helping other people. While she wanted to help others, she knew that they couldn’t get help unless they helped themselves and heard the truth and that’s something that Liliana was never shy to provide, the truth. 

She completed her college degree and headed to Miami where she worked for a friend from college who had her own practice and she loved working with her best friend. The two worked well with one another, well that was until they fell in love with one another. She knew that it was dangerous to fall for the person that you worked with so Liliana decided to leave the practice and go work for one of the mental facilities that there were. They were great until her best friend and now partner had decided to leave Miami. Liliana felt like she was building a life for herself and she didn’t want to leave so the two broke up. 

Working in Miami for another few years, Liliana was getting bored with life and that’s when she went to Los Angeles to try something new. She was there for a few weeks before walking into their ex and the two of them picked up right where they left off and she was surprised at just how easy it was. The two resumed their relationship and even were engaged. Something big happened to her fiancee and they had to leave LA and return to Maine, leaving Liliana stranded once again. 

Everything reminded Liliana of their ex and she decided that she needed to do what was best for herself. So she packed up her things and headed for New York. She was excited for her new adventure and she decided to work for someone once again, but it always felt like there was something missing. She was great with her patients, but she felt like there was something more she could be doing. While Liliana was known to be blunt with people, it was something that they appreciated. She figured some people needed to hear the truth and she wanted to deliver it in an appropriate way. 

With the rise of LGBTQ+ individuals needing more and more assistance mentally, so she found the Haggar-Fox Shelter and since they were just opening up she decided that this was the best place for her. She was excited to be a part of something that cared about such vulnerable individuals and while she still helps others that aren’t LGBTQ+, she puts a lot of focus on the individuals that come and go from the shelter. 

[hardrockcoffeepot]

Love is not enough to carry a relationship

I hate this. I hate feeling like this. Thinking those things. Hate that its by far not the first time those thoughts cross my mind. Its this cold hand who crushes my heart. I love you. So much. But what if thats simply not enough? A year ago I would have never imagined that this could happen to us. I wanna scream to whoever is responsible for this. How fucking unfair it is. What we had to go through in this past year. I always tried to tell myself that it only makes us stronger. But if I am brutally honest, lately I‘ve been only thinking love shouldn’t be this exhausting. Months ago I told myself that I cannot carry this relationship, that it feels like im holding all the responsibilities in it. Desperately trying to make us work, balancing out my illness by pouring out my heart. Into you, into us.

I am so tired. Tired of getting hurt. None of my efforts seem to work. It rately feels like we are working towards the same goals. while my goal was always us. It just doesn’t feel like thats what you truly want. Sometimes I feel like you just sat down on this heavy rock, and instead of pulling it together I’ve been dragging you along, on top of it. I do believe you when you say that you love me. I think thats why you’re still sitting there if anything. But you got stuck right there. And thats where this stinging thought creeps back up again. that love isn’t enough. Love isn’t enough for you to get up and push the rock together. And even worse, love isn’t enough for me to keep dragging you along, because its just to heavy. I can not carry this relationship.

I so desperately wanted us to be partners, who share their weights equally. I wanted to be a safe place for you, something, someone who gives you strength. But it seems like Im actually the opposite. And for me its not any different. You used to be my shelter. I was so in awe with you, how with you everything just felt a little easier. Now I always feel like I have to shelter you. I am the responsible one. And I think that’s actually the worst part. That the way I see you changes, slowly. Everytime to you make me feel unloved, something cracks inside of me. I am so scared that at one point it will just be to much. And I will fall entirely out of love.

God I HATE this. This went from me beeing so overwhelmed and unbelievably in awe of you and how you made me feel so loved in the beginning. Something no one ever did to me. the way you looked at me , completely swept me of my feet. It was to good to be true, feeling so loved. It was so unsgrapable that thats how you felt when you looked at me. I so vividly remember La Palma like that. That’s when it truly really hit. You made me feel so special, just so loved. so fucking loved. Unconditionally. Like you were in awe with me equally. I truly thought you and me were the definition of invincibility.

In brussels it started feeling like I had to constantly fight for it. I feel like begging to be loved. Desperately trying to prove that I am worthy of it. And sure partly thats just because of my issues. But when you started sitting on this rock , you started sending mixed signals. Not leaving but also not fully comitting. As if you just sitting there should be enough for me. As if you not leaving me due to my ilness should be love enough to me. Oh how generous of you.really. Maybe thats truly all the effort you can give, maybe sitting there and not getting up to leave takes all the strength you have within. Or Maybe you’re secretly waiting for me to leave. So you don’t have to take responsibility, for giving up on me.Just so easily.

I don’t think you do anything of this purposefully.

I know your inner conflict is tearing you apart. You started to feel lost in who you are. But can’t you see its also killing us? You think locking that doubtful part away is in the best interest of this relationship. But its actually the reason we cannot seem to grow from it. You were never wrong for feeling those things, you were wrong for keeping them within, never giving me a chance to love you dispite of your darkness and insecurities. Maybe because you thought you wouldn’t deserve it. God was I always fighting for a lost cause this whole time? No one can ever say I didn’t gave it my all. Because I only ever saw the best in us. Oh the tragedy this actually is. we were meant to last cant you see?…

What if the reality is that we are both just not good for each other? I made you so unhappy and sad. which then led to you making me unhappy and sad. Its this viscious cycle we are stuck in. My love became this burden you carry. Trapped you in a life that you didn’t sign up for when you fell in love with me. And for that I am so incredibly sorry. I never wanted this to happen. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. For you to be able to become the best version of yourself because of me. I wanted to be your shelter. Your rock. Your Joy. Your laughter. And then all I became was your sorrow. I dragged you down with me for this selfish reason I called love. You made me feel loved and I didn’t wanna give that up. Even when I saw you sitting on that rock, I was so determined not to let this go, let you go. That I was willing to carry you to wherever. But you didn’t really wanna be carried there. And its just fucking selfish of me dragging you with me. Knowing damnwell you just love me a little to much to leave.

[mizuno-marmalade]

so i just binged sk8 with my older brother and holy FUCKING shit you guys new favorite anime cheeeeeeeck

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

Songs/Bands and Artists I like which I think some of my favorite BSD characters would listen to, mixed with some headcanons about them but my music taste is all over the place and I have no real favorite genre

Chuuya:

Maneskin

ABBA (He and Dazai dance to ABBA since they were teens)

Taylor Swift

Doja Cat

Cigarettes After Sex

Out of Touch by Hall & Oates

The Smashing Pumpkins

Happier than ever by Billie Eilish

Go Hard (La.La.La) by Kreayshawn

He only listens to Mitski when he's drunk and thinking about Dazai

Dazai:

The Smiths

Mitski

ABBA (He and Chuuya dance to ABBA since they were teens)

Cavetown

Melanie Martinez

I think I'm gonna kill myself by Elton John

Maybe he liked listening to the Gorillaz when he was a teen

Girl in Red

TV Girl

TOP

In my head by bedroom

Billie Eilish

Oulala by Vunderbar

Bimbo Doll by Tila Tsoli

I don't know how to love by the drums

Lady Gaga

Shibusawa:

Bernadette and I come with Knives by IAMX

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

Swimming Pool by Marie Madeleine

Classical Music but he doesn't pays much attention to composers so he listens to a bunch of composers mixed together

Little Dark Age by MGMT

Electroforez

Hollow by Mr.Kitty

Freakshow by Punkinlove

Sigma:

Lady Gaga

Heart for Brains and I can't handle change by Roar

The Greatest and Chandelier by Sia

Mitski

MARINA

Cavetown

Melanie Martinez

Queen

Puttin on the Ritz by Taco

Greedy by O3eo

The Drums

Icicles by The Scary Jokes

dreamcore by Pathetic

Tchaikovsky

Hug me by Pharrell Williams and Trey Parker

Le Festin from the Ratatouille soundtrack

ABBA

Fyodor:

Tchaikovsky and a bunch of other composers like Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Brahms and newer classical music but Tchaikovsky is his absolute favorite and he can play a lot of his songs on his cello. He usually does this to calm down or get his head a bit free of all the overwhelming thoughts

ABBA

IC3PEAK

I come with knives and Bernadette by IAMX

Molchat Doma

Swimming Pool by Marie Madeline

Electroforez

Black No.1 (Little Miss Scare All) by Type O Negative

Who is she? by I Monster

No 13 Dance of the Knights by Sergei Sergeyevich Prokofiev

никогда by руслан утюг (because of Nikolai and a special memory aka this headcanon by me)

I just know that he would listen to gospel choir songs and church music but I personally don't listen to it

Nikolai:

Bernadette and Animal Impulses by IAMX

Lady Gaga

IC3PEAK

песня без слов and перемен by Kino

Imma Kill U by Insane Clown Posse

Butch 4 Butch and Inarticulation by Rio Romeo

Princess Castle, Yandere and Hello Kitty by Jazmine Bean

мы by дайте танк (!)

никогда by руслан утюг

бiблiотека by колос

Electroforez

Melanie Martinez

Gallery Piece by Of Montreal

Where's Your Head At by Basement Jaxx

The Smiths

Blow my Brains out by Tikkle Me

Queen

Marry by Alex G

Hurra Hurra die Schule brennt by Extrabreit (A old german song. The title means Hooray Hooray the school is burning and it's literally about some girls burning down the school. It's not brutal thought. It's a bit comedic)

Mircochip by Oliver Buckhard

Küss Mich by In Extremo (Another German song. The title means kiss me and it's about obsessive love)

Literally anything he likes. He has no favorite genres

Edgar Allan Poe:

Mareux

Queen

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

Cavetown

ABBA

The Cure (He probably loves The Lullaby the most)

Black No.1 (Little Miss Scare All) by Type O Negative

Mushitaro:

Queen (Because of his boyfriends Poe and Ranpo who always listen to Queen)

ABBA

Mitski

Elvis Presley

Murder in my Mind by Kohedell

Bram:

The Smashing Pumpkins

ABBA

The Cure

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

Vampire Smile by Kyla la Grange

Mixed classical music

Hug me by Pharrell Williams and Trey Parker (Aya made him listen to it)

The Smiths

80s music

So This Is Love from Cinderella by Ilene Woods and Mike Douglas (He often thinks of his old friend Lovecraft while listening to it but always scolds himself when he realises. Who can blame him tho. It's easy to think about old feelings when you aren't exactly able to do things on your own and usually lie around)

Genesis by Grimes

[torreshalstead]

Masterlist

Links below to all my fanfiction including Upstead, Burzek, Stellaride, Brettsey, Chenford, Hawkami and Rollisi. I’ll try and keep it updated as I post more.

Thanks for all your support on these stories!

Upstead

You make the miles worth it - Multichapter - Hailey begins training for the Chicago Marathon and meets a handsome stranger - Complete

It Seemed Like a Good Idea - Multichapter - Hailey needs a visa to stay in Chicago so Jay offers to marry her - Complete

I’ll show you mine - Multichapter - Hailey and Jay meet whilst undercover which turns into a secret relationship - Complete

On a crowded street in 1944 - Multichapter - Hailey and Jay meet before he heads off to war - Complete

Broken - Multichapter - Hailey I struggling after Jays departure fix-it fic - Complete

cat eyes sharpe enough to kill a man - Multichapter - Vigilante Hailey meets cop Jay - In Progress

Together is a wonderful place to be - oneshot - Jay and Hailey face some difficult decisions after a new commander is appointed.

home - oneshot - post 10x12 fix-it fic. The real reason Hailey hasn’t heard from Jay. Happy Ending.

Empty - oneshot - no one in Intelligence has touched Jays desk after he left, including Hailey.

wishing i was in his arms tonight - oneshot - After a long shift at work, Hailey’s favourite person is at the end of the phone

It’s Christmas after all - oneshot - Hailey wasn’t looking forward to spending Christmas alone. But maybe she won’t have to.

warm. comfortable. safe. - oneshot - Hailey wants to ask Jay to move in but she has some doubts.

The day that everything changed - oneshot - an introspective on Hailey’s first day meeting Intelligence

Matching rings and matching names - oneshot - post 9x01 Hailey and Jay discuss engagement rings

i think it’s cause of me - oneshot - Bolivia and why he’s not calling from Jay’s POV

The Paramedic and the Bullet Magnet - twoshot - Hailey is assigned to Ambo 16 and meets a cute cop on a call

still my wife - oneshot - 10x20 fix it fic where Jay gets told Hailey is in hospital and returns

Can I have this dance? - oneshot - Upstead daughter is off to prom

holy ground - twoshot - pre 8x04, based off released deleted scene of Hailey and Jay waking up together

gone but not forgotten - oneshot - Jay comes back to Chicago because he gets the call he never wanted to answer (Warning - MCD)

Unrequested Assist - oneshot - AU meet cute in a bar

Christmas Wrapping - oneshot - Holiday AU inspired by the song of the same name

Pride and Joy - oneshot - Ivy Halstead graduates from the police academy

Blind Date - twoshot - enemies to lovers blind date AU

a choice born of hope not fear - oneshot - Hailey battles with her decisions and her future (11x13 spec fic)

sitting vigil - oneshot - Hailey gets hurt and Jay is there to hold her hand

rules are made to be broken - twoshot - friends with benefits AU

he just comes running over to me - oneshot - college AU Hailey had had a crush on Jay since she had met him but didn’t know if he felt the same

Burzek

Your eyes in my life - Multichapter - Kim has a one night stand with a stranger in LA. 6 years later he is assigned as her rookie, but he doesn’t know she had his daughter - Complete

Maybe the special ingredient was special after all - oneshot - Adam takes cooking classes to try and win Kim back

20 hours - oneshot - post 2x06 Adam’s time in solitary effected him more than he let on.

Marry Me - oneshot - it’s Kim’s wedding day and it’s breaking Adam’s heart watching her walk down the aisle to someone that isn’t him.

all of it - oneshot - post 10x17 morning after fic. She was finally back in his arms and neither wanted to let go.

Stellaride

Memories Bring Back You - oneshot - Kelly is trying to show his daughter that memories don’t always have to be sad (Warning - MCD)

Family means family - oneshot - Prequel to Memories Bring Back You, Casey returns to help Kelly work through his grief. (Brettsey & Stellaride)

Brettsey

Someday feels a hell of a lot closer now - oneshot - He was the last person she expected to see but here he was, Matt Casey was back in Chicago.(11x18 spec fic)

The Pretty Girl in the Club - oneshot - Matt spots a pretty blonde across the bar on a night out and hope she feels the same pull does

Knight in Shining Armour - oneshot - High School AU where Sylvie needs a date to prom

The Reminder - oneshot - the ring is a painful reminder that he let her go but he wouldn’t let her go again

whatever she needed - oneshot - Matt’s office is always open if Sylvie ever needs a shoulder to cry on

a ring to prove it - oneshot - post 11x22 speculation/wish fic

Hawkami

No Grief in Sleep - oneshot - it’s was less painful to be asleep because he was still there

Rollisi

always there - oneshot - Jesse wants to ask Sonny to walk her down the aisle, she has flashbacks to some of her favourite memories of him.

Chenford

Strong arms and soft kisses - oneshot - post 5x12 what happened after the bedroom door closed. (Mature)

Happiness looks good on you - one shot - Angela finding out about Tim and Lucy and her reaction.

A place with us - one shot - Tim and Tamara’s conversation about her not feeling like she fits in anymore.

Words like knives - oneshot - Lucy and Tim run into Lucy’s mom and she is not impressed with their relationship.

bequeathed - oneshot - Isabel is back in LA and wants to talk and Tim doesn’t know why (5x20 spec fic)

Her Source of Comfort - oneshot - one bed fic set during 5x01

The Inheritance Clause - oneshot - Tim needs his inheritance but he must be married, his father suggests Lucy

Empty chairs - oneshot - Lucy and Tim’s wedding day

a battle between heart and mind - oneshot - Lucy goes over to Tim’s after the elevator scene (post 6x10 fic)