#kids are so annoying like seriously they always gotta say some shit

[cxvii666]

"GIRLS"

college au! denki kaminari x reader

cw: recreational drug use, bad language, sexual tension, wet and messy public handjobs, men whimpering, lowk sub denki, whining, teasing, drooling,

wc: 2.5k

loosely inspired by the dare's album "what's wrong with new york?"

"girls that's mean just for fun, i like girls who make love, but i like girls that like to fuck"

"THAT'S WHAT'S UP"

"she doesn't like you, y'know."

denki kaminari gasped semi-sarcastically, like its obvious that you don't like him and anyone with eyes can see that but it still shocking to hear out of his best friend's mouth.

jirou turns to him with barely concealed mirth in her eyes and she looks up from her phone where she'd been texting momo, asking for her whereabouts.

they were at a party, a sleazy rich kid house party, one of momo's friend's sisters' or something like that. the kind that involved lots of expensive alcohol, shitty bass music, and sweaty hot rich kids that did too much coke and no survival instincts or a general sense of humiliation. one guy had already thrown up twice, two girls had passed out, someone's boyfriend had punched someone else and denki was absolutely fucking loving it.

he and jirou had smoked some good shit with hanta after pregaming and had enter the party at its pinnacle, completely crossfaded. the good kind that makes you feel like hot shit, like you're the baddest on the planet, and that you could fuck anyone you wanted if you tried hard enough.

that was about two, maybe three, hours ago.

he hits the vape he stole from jirou and scrunches his face at her.

"where even is momo?"

he's chosen to dodge the topic. the topic of you.

he only knows you as one of momo's ex talking stages. you run in the same social circles mostly and somehow, you're still amicable, friendly infact, its some weird sapphic thing that denki doesn't get. how you're friends with jirou, denki really doesn't get. like how can jirou be friends with her girlfriend's ex-situation?

well that's what he thought.

until he met you.

and wow.

you're across the kitchen from him now, chatting it up with some guy you just met, and he's laughing at something you said because you have this effortless wit and charm about you that everyone in your vicinity can sense. it rolls off you in waves, your aura is so attraction, so is your hair, and your eyes, and your smile, and the dress you're wearing-

and now you're looking at him, or maybe at jirou, yeah never mind, you're looking at jirou, and before he knows it his best friend is whacking the back of his neck.

"you're staring," she teases in a singsong voice, fucking annoying habit that she stole from him and just for that he snatches her drink from her and downs it in one gulp. "hey, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

denki fake gags slightly before smiling all teeth "you never answered my question, when's your girlfriend getting here?" jirou rolls her eyes at his obvious diversion from the topic "i want her to make me that weird drink she makes with the tequila.... and i'm pretty sure i left my lighter in her car."

"momo won't care y'know." she looks at him with full seriousness and nods in your direction. "you should be more worried about how you're gonna talk to her."

denki says nothing in reply, only sighs and send jirou an affirmative hum so that she knows he's not being pissy and ignoring her.

his eyes cut to you again, the guy you were talking to has gone back to the friends he came with and you're pouring yourself a drink.

and jirou was right, by the way. at first you didn't like him, he laughs too loud at his own jokes, bums cigs off of everyone and everytime you've seen him in passing, at parties like this or nights at the club when jirou's band plays, he's always chatting someone up.

girls of all kinds, tall girls, small girls, girls that do drugs, girls with dicks, blondes, brunettes, gingers, white girls, black girls, brown girls.

you wondered about him. there's gotta be something that he's doing right, because from what you've heard from momo his cool guy persona is simply that, a persona, and he's actually a massive loser who spends most of his time playing pokemon go or holed up in his room watching anime. so how he can pull so many baddies, most of whom speak of him fondly, is a mystery to you.

but damn, he is cuteeee.

like cracked, horny, stoner, twink that would probably beg for it cute.

and you're obsessed.

that's the real reason why you've been throwing shade at him all night, making sly biting comments, getting into dumb senseless arguments, you're playing with him, working him up slowly, and he's enjoying it.

but contrary to popular belief, denki is not the sleazebag everyone thinks he is. sure he's had a few flings with a few friends, drunken nights never spoken of again, and there was that one time where a girl he slept with lied to him about having a boyfriend. but like, aside from that, he's not like horrible.

and momo is his friend, and idk, isn't flirting with her ex kinda weird, and won't you think its weird that he's flirting with you, and omg, what if you think its weird??, and you actually don't want anything to do with him, and this highly charged game made of mean banter and heated stares, is actually just a game and he's been reading all the signals wrong, and you actually don't want him, and he's gonna have to jerk off so hard tomorrow morning to forget about you because the look you gave him after you called him a senseless idiot for spilling vodka on the counter early was sooo hot and he-

"you're spiralling."

jirou rolls her shoulder and starts riffling through her jacket pockets, probably looking for the vape denki has concealed in his right hand. she pauses and looks at the blonde before sighing. "momo's here. she's got your light." she gets up off the counter and pauses. "and maybe drink something before you smoke, you look like you're about to vom all over the floor or somethin'."

"you dirty bitch, i am not nervous, i swear you're so-" jirou leaves him in the kitchen with a resounding cackle and goes out into the main house to find her girlfriend.

the sound of jirous laughter calls your attention over to denki, who's attention you already had, he'd been counting the piercings on your right ear, and a smirk creeps onto your face, as you pick up your cup and make your way over to him.

"do you have a staring problem?" straight to the point, your voice so close to his ear it makes him jump. "huh, oh, what?" he splutters "staring? me?? why would i be staring at you, of all people?"

the red on his cheeks makes you snort and you regard his fake non-chalant lean against the kitchen counter.

"well that's what i'm trying to work out," you say as you inch closer practically caging him in, still keeping direct eye contact.

his breath hitches slightly as his eyes lock onto your own, determined to win whatever game it is your playing, despite the twitch in his jeans.

you're so close you practically taste his breath, he smells like bud, expensive foreign perfume and bubblegum, your hands splayed either side of his hips creep closer to him.

denki can hear the gulp he takes when your hands finally make contact with his body, your thumbs just slightly grazing his outer thighs, he thinks he might actually have a fucking heart attack or something. he keeps his eyes on yours, but trying to centre himself in your gaze seems to have been the wrong decision to make because the way you tilt your head and smile so innocently, like you don't know what you're doing, is sending him to space. and it's your smile that makes him blink and drop his eyes entirely to the curve of your lips, just for a second.

you notice immediately and let out an obnoxious 'ha!' before reaching up and plucking the joint that he had tucked behind his ear, and yeah it was part of the fit, the pink rolling paper matched his shoes, before taking a step back from the blonde.

he responds to your laugh with a scoff and a roll of his eyes which makes your smile grow even wider. you hide this as best you can by taking a sip of your drink effectively finishing it. he looks at you, amber eyes regarding you curiously, like he's awaiting instruction.

"you wanna go out back?" you smile cheekily brandishing your prize, "go smoke this baby before jirou gets back?"

he sniffs and stands at his full height, stuffing his hands in his back pockets before nodding to the exit. and you lead the way to the garden with a giggle.

"it's not my fault. you're the poser walking around with a joint and no lighter." as you finally stamp out then end of the joint. you'd just had to beg some snotty marlboro gold smoking guy for the use of his lighter. "honestly it was more of an accessory than a zoot, you didn't even roll it well."

"you're so mean to me," denki flushes, honest to god his voice sounding more like a whimper then anything else.

you scoff at him. you're not mean, this guys just an idiot, generally easy to make fun of, and has the most adorable reactions whenever you take the piss out of him. you can't help yourself. he's so easy practically throwing himself at you, demanding all of your attention all night and then whining like a kicked puppy and retreating back to hide behind jirou when you don't give him the response he's looking for.

"oh, i'm sorry," you ask soflty and the change in attitude gives him whiplash. "are you alright, denki?" he's growing crossed eyed as he watches your lips getting closer to his.

his knees buckle "yeah, just uh, my iron deficiency."

you pull away to raise your eyebrow about to make a sarcastic remark when he surges forward and captures your lips in his. your hands travel up the back of his neck, and the way you thread your fingers through his hair makes him groan into your mouth. you push against him effectively pining him against the cold stone wall, and he just takes it, lets you control the momentum of the kiss, like he's in the middle of a storm just being thrown around and carried by the waves, and he's fucking loving every second of it.

you swear once you break for air, your lips plump, and wet, and juicy, and soft, and he's already diving back in, he needs more of you. more of your taste, fuck, you taste so good, your lips are so soft and syrupy against his, he feels like he's melting into to your hands.

"careful," you murmur directly into his ear and he keens as you grip his hair tight and tilt his head back to give provide acces to his bare neck.

"please, please, please, please, fuck."

you tug harshly on his blonde locs, his eyes fluttering open at the feeling as you hold his gaze. "what do you want denki? use your words."

he can't think of how to reply, not with your right hand itching at his scalp and your left hand drawing circles on the skin above his waistband. "oh god, i don't- i don't even know- i- fuck."

your left hand has dropped, finger only slightly grazing the front of his jeans but it's enough for him to whine so prettily in your ear and cant his hips upwards into your palm.

"fuck, please-"

you cut him off by mashing your lips into his, he accepts gratefully pouring every inch of his desire into your mouth.

"you're so desperate."

he's nodding, he wants you so bad, your hand feels so good even through the layers of fabric covering his most sensitive parts, but its like his skin is on fire, and the only thing that can put it out is your touch. his hands run along your torso, his finger only just brushing over your nipples, enough to make you gasp into him, as he wraps his arms around your body to deepen the kiss.

as good as this feels, the sounds he's making, the whimpers leaving his lips as he grinds into your hand, are increasing in volume and your entirely conscious of the fact that you are outside, out the open, for anyone to hear or see.

you hiss out his name, but just hearing your voice turns him on more and you have to grip his face with you fingers for him to stop moving and pay attention.

"if you want me to keep going," punctuated by a squeeze to his jaw, "then- look at me when i'm talking to you, then you're gonna have to shut up." your gaze is so intense he's nodding before he's even fully comprehended the words you've said.

his pretty amber eyes roll back into his head as your hand finally slips underneath his boxers and you grasp his hot, sticky, dick with your cold soft hands. "oh wow," you snicker, "you're so messy."

your words make denki whine, silenced by a stern look before he pouts. "what so you can talk but i can't even-, oh fuck-" you squeeze him, the weight heavy in your hands.

"yeah, because you're leaking all over my hand."

he holds in his whine this time cussing under his breath and looking at you. his pretty face obscured by strands of hair all wild and messy sticking up at odd angles. his lips are pink and swollen, drool threatening to spill out of his mouth, cheeks flushed.

"that's not fair," he hisses at you but you remain largely unbothered by his attitude as you thumb his tip. "you're teasing."

"i'm not doing anything, you're the one that can't keep it together."

"i-" he starts but you pick up speed and cover his mouth with your free hand so he's free to buck and whine all he wants.

"look at you, are you gonna finish like this? i've barely even touched you."

its like your words are directly fuelling the grind of his hips, he humps against you furiously, drool spilling all down his face, soiling that hand as well. like he can't help but make a mess in all directions.

you can tell he's close when his eyes start fluttering and his body starts twitching crazily.

your hand drops from his face, quickly wiping the drool onto his tshirt before snaking your way back up and applying light pressure to the base of his neck.

"thank you, thank you, thank you-"

that does it for him as he comes with a whine of your name, followed by jagged breath and the crazy stutter in his hips.

you give him a second to catch his breath before you start tearing into him about the mess he's made and about how he better not have gotten any cum on your dress.

"always complaining about something, i swear," he rolls his eyes and before you can bite back he slips your cum soiled fingers into his mouth and runs his tongue along each individual finger before giving a hard suck. you watch him mouth slightly agape, and the pulsing heat in between your thighs makes itself apparent to you.

"you are such a slut." he grins mouth full and you press down on his tongue. "you wanna get outta here?"

heyyyyyy guys sorry ik i said i'd do part 3 of dealer reader WHICH WILL COME but this was a random burst of inspiration i got last nigjt when i was omw back from the last sesh of the season before all my friends fuck off out of london but and one of my mates is super obsessed with the dare and made us listen to the whole album while we were out on the field ANYWAYS IK U DONT CARE but this was so yummy and juicy to write so i hope u enjoyed 😝😝😝😝😝

[steddieas-shegoes]

hiii not sure if you’re still taking requests but

no upside down au where teen single dad steve approaches eddie after hellfire bc every parenting stuff keeps mentioning how reading to babies is super important for their development but his dyslexia makes reading so hard let alone be expressive w it too and the kids keep mentioning how eddie is amazing on dnd. eddie is skeptical cause how come no ones has heard of king steve’s one year old ? but he accepts when steve offers paying but after seeing steve w his baby and understanding how he changed he refuses the money and cue them slowly falling in love and becoming a family <333

Sorry this took *checks watch* like 9 months to finish! I kinda took some creative turns, but it's done!

read on ao3

rated t | 5,182 words | no cw | tags: mostly fluff, single parent steve, not canon compliant, mutual pining, getting together, love confessions

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

Early August 1985

“Steve, it’s not like he’s gonna fuckin’ bite, dude,” Dustin said from the passenger seat.

“Language.”

“She’s not even awake,” Dustin whisper yelled. “I promise he’s cool. The worst he’ll say is no. It’s not like he’s gonna bully you.”

“No one else knows I’m asking him this, right?” Steve was suddenly worried that all the kids knew about Steve’s learning disability and they’d think he was actually stupid and-

“No, it’s just me. But if you don’t hurry up and go in before everyone else gets here, they’ll find out.”

Steve glanced in the backseat, smiling to himself at his sleeping daughter. She’d been out for nearly the entire drive from his house to Dustin’s to the high school, so she’d probably be waking up within the next 20 minutes and she’d be ready to stretch her legs.

She was a squirmy thing from the moment she figured out how to scoot around the floor, and it only got worse when she learned to walk at 11 months. The only time she was still and staying out of trouble was when she was asleep.

“If she starts crying, just sit back there with her. She just likes having company,” Steve reminded him as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Yep. I’ve literally babysat for you before. I can handle her for 5 minutes.”

“Attitude.” Steve shook his head and opened the door, getting out and only closing the door most of the way so it wouldn’t wake her up.

Eddie always showed up 30 minutes early for Hellfire Club to set up according to Dustin. He took this club very seriously, even as a third year senior. He kept it running all summer so that incoming freshmen would have time to get acquainted with his style of DMing or whatever.

Steve respected the dedication, though he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that dedication were put into his homework, he would’ve graduated in May with Steve.

But Steve couldn’t actually judge. Not with the fact that he was pretty close to not graduating himself. He had a pretty good reason, but still.

The auditorium door closed loudly behind him, making him jump and clench his jaw painfully.

“Door’s broken. You gotta hold it while it closes so it doesn’t slam,” a voice said from the door to the backstage area.

Steve squinted through the semi-darkness and felt his stomach turn. Eddie.

“I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had to open it. Figured they would have fixed it by now,” Steve replied, walking closer to the guy he needed to talk to.

“No shit! Is that King Steve? In the flesh?” Eddie’s dramatics were endearing, even if it was slightly annoying that he pulled out the stupid high school nickname he’d lost well before he graduated.

“Yeah,” Steve sighed. This wasn’t gonna go well.

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but none of your precious kiddos have made it yet. It’s still early.”

Steve nodded. “One of them’s sitting in my car in the parking lot. Um, Henderson? He’s an incoming freshman.”

“Ah. Dustin’s got a place in Hellfire if you’re worried. I don’t turn anyone away who wants to be here.”

“No, no, that’s not it.” Steve needed to just spit it out. “He said you’re like, great at storytelling or whatever. Like you’re the best DM he’s ever seen and he knows I could use those skills for something.”

“Oh? What could Steve Harrington need DM skills for?”

“My daughter.”

The silence following his confession was louder than the door slamming only a minute ago.

He probably could’ve revealed his motives a little better, work up to the fact that he even had a daughter maybe. Very few people actually knew, and he had to keep it that way until he could leave his parent’s house.

“Your…daughter.”

“Yes. She’s just turned one and the doctors said reading to her is like, super important for learning words and helping her learn how to have an imagination and stuff. And I do read to her!” Steve suddenly felt worried that Eddie would think he was a bad parent. “I try to. But I’m, well, Nancy says it’s dyslexia? So words are kinda hard and it gives me a headache if I try to read for more than a few minutes and I’m so busy focusing on the words I don’t think I’m making it very fun for her-“

“Woah. Steve. Slow down.” Eddie braced his hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezed. “I didn’t even know you had a daughter. Does anyone know you have a daughter?”

“The kids do, yeah. My parents do because they kinda helped cover it all up and made sure I still graduated so I didn’t embarrass them or whatever.” Steve looked down at the floor, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn’t really want to go through the whole thing with this guy. “Robin Buckley knows? She’s my best friend. The Byers and Wheelers, Hopper. Some teachers know but were sworn to secrecy.”

“Huh.”

Steve looked up to see Eddie stepping closer to him, soft smile on his face.

“So what do you need me for exactly?”

“Dustin said you’re really good at telling stories and I figured maybe you would be willing to read to her? Not every day, like I can work with your schedule or whatever. Evening would be best for me, but it’s not really a big deal if it has to be other times. She comes to work with me so if it had to be during the day, you could sit in the office or something, I dunno.” Steve shrugged. He hated asking for help. But Dustin insisted Eddie was actually a good guy and would keep his secret. No one who saw her at work assumed Steve Harrington was a single parent at 18. That would just be absurd. “I just don’t want her to miss out.”

Eddie’s hand drifted down his arm, holding his hand for a moment before he stepped back.

“My schedule is kinda random. But I’m sure we can work something out.”

Steve’s shoulders fell as his body relaxed. “Yeah? I can pay you. Not much. My parents mostly cut me off.” Steve was scrambling. “I can give you gas money and stuff for having to come to us. And like, food? I can cook.”

Eddie’s eyes were intense, watching his every move, making him nervous.

“How ‘bout a free trial? I’ll do it for a couple weeks and then we can see about payment.”

Steve nodded eagerly. “Yeah, yeah. Cool.” Jesus, he was embarrassing. What happened to his charm? “Would you be able to start soon?”

“Normally, I’d say I can come by after Hellfire, but I have an…appointment right after tonight. I can come by tomorrow?”

Steve smiled. “Tomorrow’s good. I work until five.”

“I can be at your house by seven.”

“Great! I have plenty of books. Right now, she’s really into Old Macdonald, but I think it’s just because it sorta sounds like her name and we get to make silly noises,” Steve smiled to himself, not seeing the way Eddie was smiling too. “I think she’ll probably like whatever you read to her, though.”

“What’s her name?”

“Mackenzie. Robin read it in a book and said it meant fire-born or something? It sounded cool. We call her Mac or Kenzie for short so she hears Macdonald and thinks we’re giving her another nickname,” Steve laughed. “Anyway, I better get back to the car. If she’s awake and Dustin has to deal with her crying for too long, he gets an attitude.”

“Mackenzie. I like it.” Eddie nodded once. “See you tomorrow, Stevie.”

Steve agreed and waved, turning around to leave. By the time he realized Eddie’s nickname for him, Eddie was already backstage.

****

Steve was nervous.

He nearly burnt the chicken he was cooking for dinner just from getting distracted by thoughts of Eddie being in his home.

He didn’t even know why. Maybe it was the fact that he’d always thought Eddie was kinda rough around the edges and was surprised he’d agreed so easily. Maybe it was bringing someone new into the small group he’d had around for a couple years. Maybe it was the way Eddie’s hand on his shoulder seemed to leave a permanent mark despite being one of the softest touches he’d felt from another adult in a while.

Mackenzie was in her high chair already, eating some of the noodles he’d made as a side. She’d been practicing using a fork, so quite a few had fallen on the floor, but Steve still smiled and told her she did a great job any time she managed to get one to her mouth.

The doorbell rang and Steve felt his heart stop.

“Daddy!” Mackenzie squealed when the bell rang. She knew that usually meant Hopper was here. Everyone else just came inside on their own. “Hop!”

“No, baby, not Hop. Not tonight. It’s my friend, Eddie. He’s gonna tell you a fun story, okay?” Steve ran his hands through her hair as he walked by to get the door.

When he opened the door, Eddie was standing there with a handful of books, a box of crayons, and what looked like a hairbow.

“I’m here to entertain the princess!” Eddie exclaimed. “Lead me to her highness!”

Steve couldn’t hide the grin on his face if he wanted to. “She’s currently trying to stab noodles to death. I’m sure you’ll be entertained.”

“Ah, they must have wronged her. I’ll assist,” Eddie made his way past Steve, walking towards the kitchen.

Steve knew he’d been to a couple of the parties he threw to sell, but had no idea he remembered the layout of his house. Maybe he had one of those picture minds.

As Steve entered the kitchen, he noticed that Eddie had set down the pile of books on the counter before he sat down in front of Mackenzie.

There were a few books he recognized: an ABC book that he was pretty sure he’d had when he was a kid but had since lost, a book of fairy tales with Rapunzel on the cover, something by Beatrix Potter, and a couple of coloring books that featured princesses and dragons and horses.

“She isn’t really old enough to color, is she?” Steve asked, interrupting what must have been a very amusing conversation of mostly babbling. “I don’t have any coloring stuff.”

“Coloring with skill? No. She definitely doesn’t have the motor skills to color in the lines or even use the right colors for the right things. But it does help her learn how to hold a crayon. My uncle couldn’t really afford much when I was a baby, so for every Christmas until I was in school he would get me new crayons and coloring books. I don’t really remember how I did, but I do remember having fun.” Eddie turned back to Mackenzie. “And sometimes it’s fun to just make a mess, right?”

Mackenzie clapped her hands together, sending the toddler fork she’d been using to the floor with a noodle attached to it. Steve wordlessly grabbed one of her spoons from the drawer and gave it to her, kissing the top of her head before he knelt down to pick up the fork.

Eddie watched silently, something soft about the way he didn’t interrupt anything even though he could’ve kept talking.

“I made chicken and pasta. It’s probably not my best work, but I made enough for you if you haven’t eaten yet,” Steve offered as he walked to the stove to start plating the food for himself.

“I wouldn’t turn it down. Wayne’s not exactly known for serving five star meals,” Eddie joked. “He believes in the power of fried bologna and cheese sandwiches with a bag of chips.”

Steve grimaced. “Okay, well I made enough for you to bring home some leftovers too.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re taking home leftovers.”

Steve turned to see Eddie’s widened eyes and open mouth that slowly formed into a smile.

“I guess I’m taking home some leftovers.” He turned to Mackenzie and tickled her neck. “Your daddy is pushy isn’t he?”

Steve blushed, but continued making up a plate for Eddie.

As they sat and ate, Eddie talked about all of his favorite books for little kids, and how he remembered sneaking into the library after school for years because he knew he didn’t wanna go home. He talked about the first time a teacher wrote a positive letter home, an English teacher who said his fictional essay was the best in the class and he should consider writing as a career. He even talked about his plans for the school year campaigns, but made Steve swear not to mention anything to the kids.

“I’ll know if you tell them,” Eddie winked.

Steve believed him.

When they were done, Steve grabbed Mackenzie from her chair.

“I’m gonna give her a quick bath if you wanna bring all that stuff to her room. Second floor, third door on the right. It’s a little messy right now. Someone decided to pull all her toys from her box yesterday and I haven’t had time to clean it up,” Steve tickled Mackenzie’s side, making her giggle and turn her head into his shoulder.

“You need me to clean this up?” Eddie asked, gesturing to the table.

“Nah, I’ll do it while you read to her.”

Despite his efforts, bath time was never truly quick. Mackenzie loved to splash around and play with her toys, and if he tried to wash her hair too quickly, she would be grumpy for the rest of the night. He definitely didn’t want that for Eddie.

He set a timer for 10 minutes and tried to explain to a very excited Mackenzie that when the timer went off, it would be time to wash her hair and get out.

“You wanna have time to play with Eddie, so we can’t play for too long in the water.”

She didn’t seem to pay any attention to him, already too busy making her rubber duck fight with her mermaid Barbie.

He observed while she played, bringing in the rubber car she liked to pretend to drive on the side of the tub.

When the timer went off, she let him wash her hair without a fuss, and he quickly wrapped her up in a towel to get her into pajamas.

Eddie was waiting in her room when he got there, coloring books spread out on the floor. He smiled up at them from where he sat, legs crossed, hands in his lap.

“Squeaky clean?” He asked, waving at Mackenzie.

“Definitely lacking noodles in places noodles shouldn’t be at least,” Steve said, making his way to her changing table to get her dressed. “She must be pretty excited about you being here. Usually bath time takes at least 30 minutes and I have to bribe her with chocolate milk to get out.”

“She knows we’re gonna have a lot of fun. I think I’m gonna read Goodnight Moon first. That’s one of my favorites.”

“She’ll love that,” he said as he buttoned the snaps of her onesie.

As soon as he set her on the floor next to Eddie, she reached for a coloring book with a mermaid on it.

“Daddy! Muh!”

“Yeah, baby, it’s a mermaid! Just like your doll in the bath.” Steve pointed to the fish next to the mermaid. “And that’s a fish. Fish swim in the ocean.”

He felt Eddie’s eyes on him while he pointed to some other sea creatures and told Mackenzie what they were.

Eventually, he looked over at Eddie, blushing at the soft smile on his face. “What?”

“You’re a really good dad, Steve.”

“Oh. Uh. Thanks,” Steve felt heat flood his body.

It’s not that no one had ever said that to him. Robin had told him plenty of times, Joyce had whispered it to him when no one else was paying attention, even Hopper had given him a handshake and said he was doing a good job once. But hearing it from Eddie, in this situation, when he’d been feeling like such a failure lately, was enough to make him want to cry.

He had to get out of this room.

“I should go clean up and leave you to it.”

“Sure, yeah. We’ll be right here.”

Steve booked it out of the room, rushing down the stairs to try to get busy with cleaning before his brain settled on crying over a compliment.

But the table was cleared. The high chair was wiped down. When he turned to the sink, the dishes were stacked up to dry in the rack. The counters were wiped, the dish towel had been put back on the handle of the oven to dry, and leftovers had been put in a container to finish cooling down.

Steve let the tears fall.

Fuck it, if Eddie was going to be this nice, he could have a little cry.

He walked quietly to the bathroom to put all the bath toys in the basket, but stopped outside Mackenzie’s bedroom when he heard giggling.

He’d closed the door halfway, just so she wouldn’t get too distracted if he walked by the room, but he couldn’t help looking in.

He felt like crying again when he saw Mackenzie sitting on Eddie’s lap, pointing at something in the book.

“Where’s the moon?” Eddie asked.

“Moo!” Mackenzie said, smacking at a place in the book.

“There’s the moon! Good job, little one.” Mackenzie leaned back against Eddie’s chest. “And where’s the…toys?”

She pointed again, but slightly less enthusiastically. Steve could see her energy dropping quickly.

He watched as Eddie told her she did a good job again and then continued reading.

Her eyes drooped more with every page. Eddie’s voice got closer to a whisper with every sentence.

Steve fell just a little bit more with every second that passed.

*****

October 1985

Eddie came every day. Despite the fact that Steve insisted he didn’t need to, that he didn’t want to ruin his schedule, Eddie showed up like clockwork at seven every single evening.

Steve learned to expect him, always made enough dinner for all of them to enjoy before Mackenzie had her bath and then got to read with Steve.

Every night, Eddie would clean up while she took a bath, and every night, he’d let her pick a page to color while he read something to her, switching to a bedtime story when she started crawling into his lap.

Steve would watch them often, laying down on the carpet and smiling as he listened to Eddie use different voices for characters, asking her questions so she was involved, and whispering when she started to drift off.

Other times, he’d try to get something done he’d been putting off, like cleaning the bathroom or folding laundry.

Eddie never accepted payment.

Steve tried bringing it up once school started, certain that this time spent here could’ve been better spent on homework or a part-time job that paid better than what Steve could offer. Eddie just shook his head and insisted that other than Hellfire every Thursday, he would be there for free.

They got to know each other over dinner, and Steve found that he was right to have butterflies every time Eddie smiled at him, every time he would touch his hand as he walked by to say hi to Mackenzie.

“Halloween costume ideas?” Eddie asked with his mouth full. Steve had given up long ago on trying to get him to wait until he was done chewing. It wasn’t that big of a deal. “What did this little miss go as last year?”

“Oh. She was a bumblebee.” Steve smiled at the memory. “Cutest costume I saw all night.”

“I bet.” Eddie took a sip of his water. “And you?”

“Oh, I didn’t dress up.”

“What? Why not?” Eddie sounded genuinely upset.

“Just got away from me, I guess? By the time I thought about it, nothing good was left at the store,” Steve shrugged, unbothered. He’d never been that into Halloween. His focus was making sure Mackenzie had fun.

“And no one offered to help you make something?” Eddie was no longer eating and Mackenzie had turned her attention to him when his tone became serious.

“I didn’t ask.”

“But no one offered.” Eddie stood up and walked over to his backpack. “Okay, we’ve gotta plan. Did you already pick something for her?”

He came back holding a notebook and a pencil, brows set in a straight line. Steve had never seen him look so serious.

“I had a few ideas, but I wanted to let her pick something at the store,” Steve said.

“Lay them on me.”

They discussed costumes for the next 30 minutes, but after only 10, Mackenzie whined to get out of her chair. Eddie wordlessly stood up and picked her up, setting her in his lap and letting her poke and prod at him and his notebook.

Steve watched them both, accepting for the first time that this wasn’t just a crush that was gonna go away.

He’d fallen completely head over heels for Eddie, and he had no clue what to do about it.

*****

November 1985

Steve was the only one who had space to host Thanksgiving.

He became manic a week before, realizing that his work schedule would not allow him to have much time to clean unless he did it at night. The problem was that he would get a migraine if he didn’t sleep.

“So let’s work on it together. I can come right after school. Cancel Hellfire this week,” Eddie offered.

“But you already won’t have it next week because of Thanksgiving. I can’t ask you to-”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. If I’m gonna be eating here, I should probably help clean up at least.”

So they worked on a little at a time.

Eddie wasn’t always helpful, getting distracted by some of the smallest things. But his company was appreciated all the same.

“You could invite Wayne, ya know,” Steve offered while he dusted the shelves in the living room. “Plenty of room and food.”

“Thanks, but he always works Thanksgiving day for the double pay. We usually do something the day after,” Eddie answered while he cleaned up all of Mackenzie’s toys.

“If he decides not to work, just let him know.”

“Will do, Stevie.”

He didn’t just help clean, he helped him do the shopping, too.

“I know it’s way harder with a baby, so if you give me a list, I can handle the shopping,” Eddie said while Steve plated their dinners.

“You don’t-”

“Have to, I know. But I can and will.” Eddie’s hand brushed against Steve’s lower back. “Let me help.”

Steve could barely resist the shiver that took over his entire body.

“Okay. Sure.”

Some of the brands were wrong, and he forgot the apples for the apple pie, but Steve still felt immense relief knowing that he had someone to help.

And without it, Thanksgiving would’ve been a disaster.

It was still a bit of a mess, but that was mostly because the kid’s table turned into a food fight that Max started and Mackenzie, of course, continued, until everyone was involved.

But the picture Jonathan took would get framed and hang up near the fireplace in the living room anyway.

******

December 1985

“I cannot believe you waited until Christmas Eve to wrap gifts. That’s not what parents actually do, is it?” Eddie asked as he fought with the tape dispenser for the fifth time in less than an hour.

“I don’t know if I’m the best judge of what parents do. Mine weren’t around much and probably didn’t even wrap my gifts themselves.” Steve took the tape from him, pulled some loose from the roll, and handed it back. “But I kinda always pictured it like this.”

Robin made him swear he’d talk to Eddie about his feelings before the end of the year. The end of the year was soon, real soon.

What better shot did he have than while Mackenzie was asleep and they were wrapping presents together?

“You pictured last minute wrapping with bribed help in your living room?” Eddie asked, amusement in his tone.

“Not exactly,” Steve huffed out a laugh. “More like spoiling my kid with someone I care about.”

Steve watched Eddie’s hands freeze against the clothes box full of new finger puppets they’d both gotten her. He looked over and felt his stomach swoop as Eddie’s eyes found his.

“Stevie-” Eddie set the box down and turned to face Steve.

“Wait, I just. Before you break my heart, hear me out.” Steve already felt his world shrinking, his heart rabbiting in his chest at the thought of losing Eddie entirely. “I’ve spent a lot of time with you for months. Like, more than almost anyone else. I’ve watched you with Kenzie, and how much she loves you and always asks for ‘Ed’ even when it’s way before when you’re gonna be here. You make me smile and laugh and that’s not always easy to do these days. You helped me when you didn’t have to, when you had absolutely no reason to trust that King Steve was a better person. You’re there for all the other kids even though you’re trying to get through school for real this time. I didn’t really plan a big speech, sorry. This is just rambling, I’m doing what Robin does.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie placed his hand on the side of Steve’s neck. “I get what you’re saying.”

“You do?”

“I think so.” Eddie stepped in closer. “But I think you might just be lonely.”

It stung. It wasn’t inaccurate, but it still hurt to think Eddie thought so little of him.

“I think I know how I feel.”

Eddie’s hand dropped from his neck and he took a step back. “I don’t wanna argue, Stevie. I just think you might need to separate yourself from the situation. I’m just always around, ya know?”

“You’re always around because I want you around!” Steve was just a bit too loud, but he knew Mackenzie was a heavy sleeper. “When you aren’t here, I check the clock to know when you will be. I get excited to leave work now because I’m not coming home to do the same thing I always did before. I get to see you and hear about your day and talk to you about mine and see you with my daughter, who probably loves you as much as I do.”

“You…love me?”

“Yes. I do. And I promise it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I still want you here, reading to Kenzie. But I know how I feel. I know why I feel the way I do. You can’t tell me how to feel.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to.” Eddie sighed. “I’m just kinda surprised. Didn’t expect you to be into guys, let alone me. I’m not exactly good boyfriend material. Or stepparent material, either.”

“Oh, fuck that. You’re more her other parent than her mom ever was. She gave her to me the moment she had her and wished me luck before her entire family moved across the country.” Steve felt tears in his eyes. “I trust you. I want you around. I love you.”

Eddie swallowed, eyes pointed towards the carpet.

A minute passed, two. It was rapidly approaching awkward when finally Eddie spoke.

“But I’m so bad at wrapping presents.”

Steve snorted, but felt relief wash over him. “I can do the wrapping. This Christmas, next Christmas, as many Christmases as you’ll stay.”

“All of them?”

“Sounds good to me.” Steve leaned in slowly, let his hands grasp at the front of Eddie’s shirt to pull him closer. “How many Christmases do kids usually believe in Santa?”

“I dunno. I stopped believing when I caught my dad stealing the two presents under our tree when I was four.” Eddie let his hands fall to Steve’s hips. “But something tells me the little princess will be a believer for a while. Better get used to me ripping holes in the paper and using too much tape.”

“Think I can handle it.”

Every time Steve had pictured kissing Eddie before this, he’d thought it would be like any other first kiss, maybe a little awkward since it was his first with a guy.

Instead, it was soft, sweet, slow, perfect. He’d kissed a lot of girls in high school, had kissed them well. Not all of them were great, but even a less than good kiss was still decent.

This was more than any other kiss he’d ever had.

Eddie held him like he would never let go, like this kiss would last forever.

It couldn’t, but that’s how it felt.

When they finally pulled apart, Steve rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“You wanna stay tonight? We can both do the Santa gifts with Kenzie before all the kids bother us,” Steve asked.

“I should call Wayne. I told him I’d be home by midnight.”

“He can come over in the morning, too,” Steve said. “If you want.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for Wayne? He can be a little…gruff.”

“I’m not worried,” Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Hopper’s basically my dad. Plus, Mac’s got a way of breaking the tough old men down.”

“Bets?”

Steve pulled away and started wrapping another present before he got too distracted. “I give it ten minutes.”

“Oh, how generous. I’m giving it five.”

They both laughed as Eddie decided he’d be more help putting already wrapped presents in her stocking and under the tree and making sure everything was put away when Steve was done.

And for the first time, Eddie stayed the night, holding Steve against his chest while they slept.

They both cried when Mackenzie opened her presents excitedly. She was too little to do it herself last year, so seeing her tear through the paper and find joy in throwing it around the room was like a dream come true for Steve.

Eddie admitted he felt like he was intruding for some of it, but Steve quickly reminded him that he was the first person she toddled over to with her new set of princess books and said “Ed, read.”

She sat in his lap right then, even though she still had quite a few presents to open, and he read every single book to her, making her giggle with his high-pitched voices for the princesses and silly accent for the prince.

By the time the kids were coming through the front door, Steve was rushing to shush them, pointing at the couch where Eddie was passed out with Mackenzie curled up against his side.

Steve was never happier than in this moment.

Until the next one, and the one after that.

[lonelychicago]

okay so im baking some cookies bc my friends are coming over tomorrow and idk why i had this idea... hear me out!!!

eddie hates this one dad that always comes to PTA meetings and events and allll the moms and teachers love him bc he always has the best sweet treats and stuff. and like, he's the king of bake sales. and okay sure, maybe eddie is a little bitter bc he's not the best at cooking and he doesn't even have the time between work and making sure chris is taken care of. and maybe more often than not, when they have to bring food, eddie is the lazy parent that brings something already made from the grocery store or something.

and really, who does this guy think he is?? his stuff looks bought too!!! and tastes like that as well. like, there's NOOO way a single dad has the time to bake something that pretty and delicious. like, there's just no way.

on the last school bake sale of the year, eddie decides to say 'fuck it' after seeing chris way too excited about this guy's stand and not even pretending to like what eddie brought— so he marches over and raises an eyebrow at all the cookies and muffins and gluten free options (c'mon! you GOTTA be kidding him) and scoffs.

"you know, the school said to try to bake at home. no store bought food allowed." eddie says standing next to the guy, low enough so the kids won't have to be witness to his embarrassing pettiness. he is not that much of an idiot, okay?

but this GUY!!! this guy just laughs!!! at eddie!!! like, seriously.

"i did bake this myself." he says. buck, eddie thinks he's called if all the whispered from the single moms are true. and he looks so... smug and proud, with this annoying shit eating grin on his stupid face. and eddie hates him a little bit, even if he barely knows him. "i, uh, have a bakery. it's a few blocks from here, actually."

and okay, eddie is a tiny bit embarrased now bc he did not know that and he just aimlessly called out the guy as a liar.

and then—

"you should come around some time. we have way more options at the bakery," buck says, so earnest and sweet and honest and eddie is an asshole. "im sure i could find something that you'd like."

anywayyyyy idk im just waiting for the cookies dough to be ready and i was daydreaming so.... yeah. ngl i love this au now and i might try writing a lil drabble or a short fic idk.

[str8upjorkinit]

don't be shy.... yap about the staff?

Besides the obvious blaring issues with the lack of responsibility they have as adults and authority figures (which I won't yap about bc everyone has already talked about this) they are SO DAMN ANNOYING

Summary: I hate their voices

Issue 1

The fucking chancellor. He's SO ANNOYING. HIS VOICE IS SO GRATING. like you're a grown ass adult man running an educational facility but he pronounces the U in desu, normal people don't pronounce the u. That's something kids do or some voice actors will do to sound cute. Why are you trying to sound cute. You're a grown ass adult man, act like it. I will never take someone who says "deeesu~! owo" seriously, like you are not in the position to be using that type of language. It's one thing to look like a kid, it's another thing to act like one.

Issue 2

Moby.... ugh. UGH. he literally pushes work onto us just to fund his stupid idol addiction, gross. He talks like a creep too. I don't like his voice. That is not the voice of a trustworthy adult that we're supposed to look up to.

Issue 3

Hyde... he's really suspicious, I don't hate him as much as the other two but I fs don't trust him. Same issue with his damn voice, why does he gotta talk like a creep? He always sounds like he's hiding something or there's a catch. Not to mention the thing with him and romeo? Sus

Issue 4

The guy working at the convenience store, I don't see the appeal. Not at all. He's not even cute like he's so average I don't see how anyone can simp for him. Also when we first met him he was literally looking at magazines of girls in swimsuits(?) I don't remember exactly but it was definitely girls in revealing "clothes". And that. Is. So. Fucking. Creepy. Like at work?? In front of students??? No. Ew. Like do that at home in the privacy of your room what the hell is wrong with you??? I think he should be fired. He grosses me out sm like why are you looking at that shit at work.

They have like 0 female staff and the reason is prolly bc the men are creeps /hj

Nicolas Dante and the Janitor are fine tho. That's like 4:3 which means most the staff fucking suck

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

A Coming Out Party : Iggy Milkovich Style

Iggy don’t know much about this whole gay thing, but he’s fairly sure people did those whatchamacallit’s....comin’ out parties or some shit. 

It’s been a few days since Mick got his ass beat at the Alibi when he told everyone there he’s gay. The house is quiet again now that Terry’s back in the clink. It’s always a good day when that happens. 

Since that night, Mick’s been real leery around him and Colin. Total bullshit in Iggy’s opinion. Like they give a damn. But their youngest brother has this fucking stupid idea that they’re just like Tarry. 

Fuckin’ rude is what it is. 

Now Iggy isn’t the kind of guy that gets into touchy-feely territory with any of his brothers or sister, but he realizes this is kinda a big moment for Mick so maybe he should do something so his brother wouldn’t keep thinkin’ like a dumb fuck. 

Maybe he should throw him one of those parties. 

*

“You wanna throw Mick a party?” Iggy’s voice slurs. He’s more than buzzed by now, as he and Colin are sitting on the back porch drinking a couple or nine beers. 

It’s late, probably after midnight. The moon’s shining down on them and everything. 

“....kinda party you talkin’ about?” Colin is disturbed from his little daydream he’s got goin’ on. His eyes are still shut but he wiggles a bit to get comfortable again. 

“One of those gay parties,” Iggy says. “You know, them comin’ out things.” 

“The fuck does he need one of those ‘fore?” Colin says, confused. “He already did it at the Alibi.” 

“Yeah, but he still thinks we’re gonna hurt him or somethin’,” Iggy sighs, taking another swig. 

“He’s fucking stupid.” 

“The stupidest.” 

Silence falls over them. But it’s brief. 

“You really gonna do that?” Colin asks, brow raised and all. 

“Yeah,” Iggy shrugs. “Gotta show him what a dumbass he is. I don’t give a damn what he does.” 

“Yeah,” Colin echos. “I mean, I don’t see what’s so great about dick over tits-” Iggy agrees. It doesn’t make much sense to him. “-but Mick seems happy with Gallagher. Pretty sure I saw him smile the other day.” 

“No shit?” Iggy is smiling now. Damn, Gallagher was a miracle worker. Mickey never smiles. He must really like that redhead kid. 

He takes another drink of his beer. 

“You gonna buy all that rainbow shit?” Colin turns to him, and has a look of distaste on him. 

“Nah, that’s too gay,” Iggy shakes his head. “I’ll do something better.” 

“Like what?” 

Good fucking question. What did gay dudes like? 

“Dick,” Iggy says suddenly. 

“Huh?” 

“Gay dudes like dicks,” Iggy’s gettin’ all excited now. 

“Ain’t that obvious, Ig?” Colin says like he’s the stupid one now, 

Iggy waves him off. “We’ll throw him a dick party. It’ll be epic.” 

“A dick party?” Colin repeats, and looks interested. 

Iggy feels like a fuckin’ genius. “We’ll use streamers and make ‘em look like little dicks. And we’ll get hats and a cake from erotic shop downtown.” 

“A dick party,” Colin grins, and Iggy can see his brother is way past drunk at this point but he don’t give a damn. He’s on a roll! “Yeah. Let’s throw Mick a dick party.” 

“But we can’t tell him or Gallagher,” Iggy says seriously. “It’s gotta be a surprise so keep your damn mouth shut.” 

“Fuck you, I can do that,” Colin says, offended. 

“Then prove it, stupid,” Iggy leans back, determined to make this party a reality. 

*

“Ay, do me a favor,” Iggy abruptly comes into Mandy’s room. She’s sitting on her bed, scrolling through her phone, and looks up, instantly annoyed. 

Why is everybody around here so fuckin’ rude? 

“What do you want, assface?” 

“How about showing your brother some respect?” Iggy pouts. 

“Fuck off,” she says without looking up. 

He huffs. “I need a picture of Gallagher’s dick. You got one?” 

The streamers and other shit are easy to get. Colin stole them yesterday. Now they just gotta get the cake and Iggy has the perfect vision for it. He’ll get a picture of Gallagher’s dick so the baker can put it on there. Fuckin’ brilliant if you ask him. 

Mandy shoots him a weirded out look. “The fuck do you want that for? Are you gay too? ‘Cause I don’t think Mickey will be happy with you trying to steal his boyfriend.” 

“Nah,” Iggy said. “Wouldn’t wanna disappoint all the chicks anyway.” 

“You mean all the chicks that turn you down everytime?” Mandy snorts. “Those chicks, Ig?” 

“Fuck you,” Iggy grumbles. It’s true he hasn’t had much luck lately, but it’s their loss. He’s a fuckin’ catch. “You got the picture or what?” 

“No,” Mandy says bluntly. 

“Why the fuck not?” 

“Why would I have one?” She rolls her eyes. “I’m pretty sure Ian’s only sending those to Mickey.” 

“Then ask for one.” 

“No, I’m not doing that,” Mandy glares at him. “Go be a pervert somewhere else.” 

“The fuck am I a pervert for?” 

“You want a picture of Ian’s dick! You don’t think that makes you a pervert?” 

“It’s for Mickey,” Iggy says defensively. “Me and Colin are throwing him a party.” 

“What?” Mandy’s confused. “A party for what?” 

“It’s a dick party,” Iggy watches her furrow her brows. “You know, cuz he came out.” 

“You’re throwing him a coming out party?” she clarifies. 

“Yeah, but it’s a dick party. None of that rainbow shit.” 

His sister does this weird thing where she doesn’t know what to say, then she stares at him a little suspiciously. “That’s oddly nice of you, Ig.” 

What can he say? “I’m fuckin’ thoughtful.” 

“And modest too,” she says dryly. “But why do you need a picture of his dick for then?” 

“Cuz it’s going on the cake. We’re gonna get one from that erotic shop,” Iggy says proudly. 

Her eyebrows fly up. “Uh huh. Well, maybe you should just have them make one that looks like a dick because I’m not asking him for that.” 

“Fuck that. Just text him.” 

“No,” she sounds exasperated again. “Just go away. God...” 

Nah. This has gotta be good. Iggy’s not goin’ halfway. 

He snatches the phone from her hands, and she yelps. He quickly pulls up Gallagher’s contact, while trying to dodge her attempts at grabbing it back. 

“Give it back!” 

Mandy (2:45 p.m.): need a pic

“Iggy, I swear to God!” Mandy shrieked. “Give me the fucking phone!” 

Gallagher responds pretty fast, so he’s obviously not busy wherever he is. 

Ian (2.46 p.m.): what kind of picture? 

Iggy makes it out to the living room with Mandy hot on his heels. He’s typing quickly, eyes darting back up to ensure that his sister wasn’t near enough that she could swipe it back. 

Mandy (2.46 p.m.): a dick pic

Iggy thinks about this. He’s gotta make sure this sounds like it’s coming from Mandy. Hmmm. 

Mandy (2.47 p.m.): ❤️

“Here ya go,” Iggy tosses the phone back at her. He’s back to his own bedroom when he hears her shouting again. 

“Oh my God. I’m gonna fucking kill you, Iggy!” 

*

Him and Colin are at the kitchen table working on making all those little paper dicks.

“This is fucking boring,” Colin groans. They’ve been at it for a while now. He’s sober right now, they both are and this isn’t the kinda activity someone should do when they’re not drunk off their ass. 

“Almost done,” Iggy sighs. Feels like he’s been here forever. 

“Mick better be fucking grateful. Nobody went this hard for me after I kissed a girl,” Colin grumbles. The sound of snip, snip is heard through the air as he starts using the scissors again. 

“We should’ve. Fucking miracle a chick wanted to kiss you,” Iggy smirks. 

Colin flips him off. “At least I got kissed at ten. When was your first, Ig? Oh, right. Fourteen.” 

“At least I got fucked before you,” Iggy says, not to be outdone. 

“You mean Viktoria? I don’t think fucking our cousin counts.” 

“I didn’t fuck her,” Iggy makes a face. 

“She says you did,” Colin lets out a laugh. 

“No fucking way.” 

“She did,” Colin insists. 

There’s too much incest in this family. Iggy’s fairly sure this is why some of their relatives look so fucked up. 

“I didn’t fuck Viktora. Jesus,” Iggy huffs. “It was Courtney Langston.” 

“Courtney Langston?” Colin ponders this. “The one with the split tongue?” 

“Mhm,” Iggy wiggles his eyebrows. “Came in real handy.” 

Colin barks out a laugh. 

“You’re disgusting,” Mandy stalks over there with folded arms. She was seriously pissed for a while after Iggy sent that text off to Gallagher. 

“Come back to us when you’ve gotten fucked with a split tongue,” Iggy says smugly. 

“I’ll pass,” Mandy rolls her eyes. 

“Ay, help us with these,” Colin holds up the piece of streamer and gestures towards an empty chair. 

“I’m not doing a fucking thing after that fucking awkward conversation I had with Ian!” She snaps, and Iggy’s pretty sure she’s not above strangling him. “Mickey was all over my ass about it and it was your fault!” 

She pokes Iggy hard in the shoulder. Damn, why did she have to grow her nails out? Those fuckers hurt. 

“Sucks. Anyway, quit bitching and start helping,” Colin tells her after a beat of silence. Iggy snickers. 

“How many of those are you making?” Mandy asks but makes no move to sit down. 

Iggy pauses. He didn’t stop to think about that. “I dunno. Lots of ‘em, I guess.” 

“When’s Gallagher and Mick getting back?” Colin asks, carefully cutting the streamer. 

“Later,” Mandy says. “Around six, I think.” 

“Good,” Iggy nods. “I gotta go get the cake soon.” Unfortunately, he never got the picture of Gallagher’s dick so he had to improvise. It’ll look like any other dick out there. Fuckin’ sucks, man. 

“You’re really going out for this,” she notes. 

Iggy shrugs. He shoots Colin a glance and they try to ignore the awkwardness that’s comin’ over the table. They don’t do heart to heart talks and all. “Yeah, well. Only cuz Mick’s being a dumbass.” 

“Yeah, why’s he gotta assume?” Colin agrees. “If I was gonna hate him for it, I’d do it. But I ain’t, so he's not gonna go around thinking I will. That’s just fucking stupid.” 

“Yeah,” Iggy nods vigorously. She rolls her eyes. 

*

The living room and the kitchen are all decorated. Little dicks are hanging everywhere. The hats turned out to be a bust but ay, they’ve got a banner, though. 

It’s a makeshift one, written in Colin’s shitty handwriting. 

Guess you ain’t straight after all 

The cake is double chocolate, Mick’s favorite. Colin even stole some ice cream, Mandy bought some pizzas, and there’s plenty of beer to go around. It’s about to be a good fuckin’ party! 

For a while, they just kinda wait around and do nothing. It’s only when the clock strikes closer to six, and they see Mick coming up the street with Gallagher that Iggy hisses at the other two to get ready. 

“Man, fuck your brother. If Lip knows what’s good for him he’ll-” 

Mickey trails off at the sight of the party. Gallagher stops dead in his tracks beside him. They’re just standing there, staring stupidly at them. 

“Ay, there you are,” Iggy comes to clap him on the shoulder. 

“What the fuck is this?” Mickey is confused. He side-eyes Iggy, eyes darting from him and back to the party. 

“Your dick party,” Colin pipes up. 

“My...what?” 

Gallagher is less stupid. He gets it. “Is this a coming out party?” He says, amused. 

“Duh,” Iggy says. “Why do you think we made all those little dicks?” 

There’s a lotta emotions in Mickey’s eyes right now. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. His brian musta short-circuited. “Why the fuck did you do this for?” 

“Cuz you think we’re like Terry and we’re not,” Colin frowns. He’s already at the kitchen table, swiping frosting every now and than. Mandy’s leaning against the fridge, drinking a beer. 

“You didn’t even tell me, assface,” Mandy glares at him. “I had to figure it out myself. And that was after Ian told me way too much info about his mystery man.” 

“You made me tell you,” Gallagher insists. “You’re the one that wanted to know!” 

“Not about my brother’s sex life!” 

“Anyway,” Colin interrupts. “We did this so you’ll stop acting like a goddamn pussy around us and get over yourself.” 

“We don’t care who you fuck,” Iggy adds. “You’re still our brother.” 

“And a shithead,” Colin calls. 

Mandy raises her beer in a hear, hear motion. 

Gallagher’s smiling widely. Man, did anyone ever tell him he looks like bambi when he’s like this? “This is really nice, guys,” he says. “But what’s with the streamers? Are those-” 

“Little dicks!” Colin and Iggy tell him proudly. Gallagher snorts. But Mickey hasn’t said anything yet. He’s looking around, caught off guard and Iggy’s starting to wonder if he’s gonna lose his shit or something. 

Gallagher must sense the same thing. He places his hand on Mickey’s back, his eyes all soft. But then Mick shrugs him off, clears his throat. 

“Not like I need your fucking approval,” Mickey mutters gruffly, and the room collectively rolls their eyes. “But...thanks or whatever. At least I won’t have to beat your ass too.” 

“Like you could,” Iggy punches his shoulder good-naturedly. Mickey scowls, shoving him. 

“Maybe if you go easy on him,” Colin smirks. 

“Maybe you need to shut the fuck up.” 

“Ay, look at this,” Iggy cuts into the conversation to show them the look, lookin’ real pleased with himself. 

“Holy fuck,” Gallagher cracks up again. 

“Was gonna use your dick for it,” Iggy says to Gallagher, who’s eyebrows fly up to his hairline. “S’why I used Mandy’s phone to ask for a picture.” 

“Oh,” realization dawns on Gallagher. He glances at Mandy. “That makes more sense.” 

“So you weren’t tryin’ to get the picture for yourself?” Mickey still narrows his eyes at her. 

“No, douchebag,” Mandy glowers at Iggy for causing all of this. “It’s his fault. He took my phone.” 

“For a good cause,” Iggy shrugs. He’s not sorry. 

Gallagher moves closer to the cake. “It’s very realistic.” He sounds impressed. 

“It’s alright,” Mickey says, but Iggy can see the slight upturn of his lips. The bastard’s trying not to smile. That falls apart when Gallagher kisses him on the cheek. 

Fuckin’ sap, Iggy thinks fondly. 

“Can we cut this cake now?” Colin says impatiently. “I’m starving.” 

“Mandy, start servin’,” Iggy tells her. “Serve it yourself.” 

Iggy rolls his eyes but does it anyway. He hands the first piece to Mickey, even though Colin’s got his hands out to take it. “It’s double chocolate.” 

From there, it kind of dissolves into the usual chaos. 

Colin, like the uncivilized bastard he is, uses his fingers to take some cake. Mandy swats him on the hand, scolding him because they all have to eat from that. Iggy plops down in a chair, congratulating himself on a job well done. He watches his brother and Gallagher playfully threaten to dab Mickey with the frosting that’s on his finger, which elicits threats of violence from Mickey. 

Might be a lot of work for a few words spoken but Iggy knows it means a lot to his brother- they’ll have to take him down kickin’ and screamin’ to get him to admit it but it’s true. 

But that’s perfectly fine. Iggy loves the fuckwad and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[antiscorbutic]

welcome to my polar explorers sideblog !

books n things ive read / some thoughts etc (updated frequently)

> Endurance - Caroline Alexander

what I started with. v good read imo pretty succinct and flows nicely. not too hero-worshippy iirc, nice pictures

> The Worst Journey in the World - Apsley Cherry-Garrard

I read (listened to) the audiobook narrated by Simon Vance and really liked it! tbh I wasn't super deep in to all this when I started it and was kind of shocked at how readable it was. my favorite part is birdie's letter about the land crabs.

also in general it's really nice to get an actual pov account -- the secondary books are lovely for helping muddle through sources and stuff but I get annoyed with how much time is spent on the Famous bits and not the unglorious monotony, which i love hearing about. I gotta read some actual diaries

> Madhouse at the End of the Earth - julian sancton

JESUS I did not know anything about the belgica going in AND I'd just watched aliens (1986) and WHY are there narrative parallels this shouldn't be real??? also amundsen is a real freak (<- value neutral)

> Endurance (2024)

uhhh sorry kids I hated this. I know it's based on the guys book but like the parallel heroic narrative thing was so icky to me. also the AI voices were giving "we didn't want to pay voice actors" and!!! fucking pointless to end it when you find the ship I want to know about the ship!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to watch a doc about the ship not about some people who found the ship. tragic for me

> Shackleton (2002) - TV miniseries with Kenneth Branagh

actually loved this. there was clearly so much attention and care put in to little historical details and even with all the silly dramatic Kenneth monologues i really enjoyed it

> The Great White Silence (1924) - Herbert Ponting

fucking WILD that as a card carrying member of the attention-span-ruined tiktok generation that as soon as I found this I was GLUED to the screen for the full like 2.5 hours or however long it is. seriously jumpscared by the cat's racial slur of a name (as ever) but honestly it's a good reminder of the colonial context we're in here so I kind of appreciate it. anyway absolutely mind boggling to see this early footage of the adelie penguins etc when I grew up watching them in planet earth and have always kind of taken their existence for granted. and I think the telling of the actual polar journey was pretty touching for being obviously like the same 15 seconds of footage of a miniature

> Endurance - Alfred Lansing

eh I didn't need to read both this and the caroline alexander book. it was fine. I always wish they'd spend more time on the elephant island castaways and less time on the small boat journey. I get that that's the like, famous impressive part, but I'm here to be reminded of the horror that it is to be alive day after day and I think more time should be spent on that monotony. also he didn't talk about the post-expedition AT ALL and I need my little "where they are after the reality TV series ended" title cards

> Amundsen (2019)

didn't finish it. too much back-at-home drama not enough being on the ice

> The Last Place on Earth (1985)

I haven't read the scott v amundsen book it's based on but jesus whoever wrote that must have fucking hated scott. I'm not saying they're wrong necessarily I'm no expert i AM saying hes wrong fuck this guy!!!! but holy shit did scott look like an incompetent asshole even compared with all the other incompetent assholes. needed more screen time of young hugh grant as cherry

> basically any bbc special about explorers

PLEASE correct me if I'm missing anything but lord I stg every one of these is the worst pro imperialism hero worship bullshit of all time. "james cook was a really nice guy actually" are you fucking kidding me

> empire of ice and stone - buddy levy

this is my first arctic account and I have. a lot of thoughts and feelings about the way arctic expeditions interact w indigenous people that I don't want to get into here. truly baffled by the number of polar bears they interacted with. also fuck stefansson so much like okay fine you left the ship but go find it again??? fucking rescue them?????

> in the kingdom of ice - Hampton sides

okay this might be my favorite modern account I've read. I love how much context is provided ... like I have Thoughts and Feelings about John Muir but his diaries being included and GOD Emma's letters being interspersed was fucking devastating. definitely the most emotional I've gotten. and all the interludes to explain the geography of a region and what its called now or in russian and even all of the many chapters about bennett added so much for me. AND giving full accounts of each group after they split the party without one getting only briefly summarized in favor of the other but also without making the timeline confusing???? -- I say this all even though hampton committed what to me is the cardinal sin of these books: skipping time that's "boring". a whole year of monotony??? julian sancton only you understand me

> labyrinth of ice - buddy levy

augh. OUAGHE. oughe!!!! I am devastated. good book :(

> alone on the ice - david roberts

not my favorite .... the author is clearly bitter that mawson is not as famous and heroic to history as someone like shackleton. also I really think he should have stuck to a linear narrative structure instead of jumping around. zero mention of possible cannibalism

not historical but overlaps / scratched a similar itch:

> outlaw ocean - ian urbina

modern investigative journalism on lawlessness on the high seas. fucking hard to read because it's largely about like, human trafficking. even the "light" stories are still rough. really, really good read though and i liked hearing about recent trawling and whaling in the south and thinking about it in relation to historical whaling etc

> frozen planet (2011)

I mean I'm a huge sucker for any attenborough nature doc esp the planet earth extended universe but this was also specifically produced around the 100th anniversary of amundsen & scott reaching the pole and I love to think about the boys seeing the penguins and seals etc for the first time .... wonderful stuff

> the thing 1982

I think I'm probably the last person to watch this one so I don't think I can add much commentary but as someone who has seen approx. 3 horror movies and two were alien and aliens I did not think it was as scary as it could have been. I do like a horrible Beast though so maybe that's on me

currently in progress!!!!!!!!!

> Erebus - Michael Palin <- I have the ebook instead of the audiobook so I'm making my way through it slowly :-)

> ice ghosts - Paul watson

other things I have out from the library but haven't started:

> eight bears - Gloria dickie (not directly relevant but highly recommended to me)

> late Victorian holocausts - Mike Davis <- a little too academic for me to parse easily but Mike ily and I think it's healthy to read about other things happening around the same era

> left hand of darkness

> against the ice - Ejnar mikkelsen

> to the edges of the earth - Edward larson

^ huge s/o to @jesslovesboats's sad boat books lists btw for helping me find more sad boat books that my library has audiobooks of <3 (im very much an audiobook guy so while I'm frothing to read more diaries and shit I have a hard time with it. yet another tragedy for me personally)

[crazystargirl]

jealous? i don't get jealous! ♥

NONE OF THESE LINKS BELOW ARE UPDATED

pt. 3 || pt.4 || pt. 5

pairing ♥: spider soccoro x reader, spider soccoro x human!reader, jealous!spider soccoro x reader

word count ♥: 0.7k!

author's note ♥: ok so funny story i forgot to find the photos and edit them so please ignore how vibrant they are (its hurting my eyes) i might fix it later but idk im lazy lmao, anyways heres pt 4! i honestly dont know if i hate this or not and i feel like it might be kinda rushed

you woke up to spider shaking you softly, it was bright outside which was something you were not used to since you pretty much spent all your time in the lab

"y/n/n you're the last one up"

"holy shit what? why didn't you wake me up earlier?" you say with a groan

"baby we did or at least tried to, i was the last one to try"

Neteyam come in and starts laughing, you glare at him

"why the fuck are you laughing?"

"no it's just that lo'ak owes me and spider since he said there was no way spider could wake you up, but it looks like he did!" Neteyam says gleefully 

you groan and try and lay back down but spider grabs you

"nuh uh y/n you gotta get up" he says as you continue to struggle against his grasp

"I'll leave her to you" neteyam says as he walks out

you continue to fight spider and eventually he gets annoyed so he just tosses you on his shoulder and starts to walk

"shit! spider! put me down!" you say trying to get off

"no chance y/n/n you needed to get up and if i didn't do that you would've gone back to sleep" 

after marching you out to where everyone was he finally put you down

"good morning y/n!" tuk says giving you a hug

"morning tuk" you hug her back

"why was spider carrying you?" Lo'ak blurted out and as expected everyone was staring at him

"uh cause she wasn't going to get up and come out if i didn't" spider says looking at Lo'ak strangely

"why can't he do that hm? you jealous?" kiri says joining in on the conversation

"what no why would i be" Lo'ak says bitterly 

spider knew full well that lo'ak had a crush on you and was going to do everything in his power to make sure that you were not going to end up with him

"alright kids settle down" jake says coming over to you guys

"but things just got so interesting" neteyam says with a pout

you all laugh not realizing the Lo’ak was evidently pissed at all of yall

jake tells everyone that some of yall can go fishing with him, Neytiri, and tuk or go exploring

You all decided that you were just going to go exploring since in all honesty no one wanted to go fishing

as you guys started exploring, you noticed lo'ak kind of lingering behind the group

you decide to hang back and talk to him

"hey lo'ak you good?"

he looks at you like a deer in headlights, shocked that you decided to talk to him

it seemed that the whole time or even whenever you were allowed out the lab spider was always all over you, giving him barely anytime with you and obviously making him jealous. the worst part? you never even tried to stop spider which made lo'ak mad

"yeah im good, why whats up?" he said looking down at you

"nothing you just look pale and upset"

"yeah little bro you should go back to camp, you look like you're gonna faint or something" neteyam says looking back at the two of you 

"alright i guess I'll go…" Lo'ak says turning around

"i can go with him" you say looking at the group "y'know to make sure he doesn't get lost or anything" 

"thanks y/n" Lo'ak says looking at you and starting to walk, you folkowing behind

Kiri and Neteyam turn to spider whose eyes are narrowed and looks mad

"Dude you good?" Neteyam says looking at spider

"Yeah…no… i dont know" spider says sitting down

"Spider you like y/n its so obvious that its kinda vomit worthy" kiri says kneeling next to spider

"Yeah you get jealous whenever she's with or talking to lo'ak" neteyam adds

"i dont get jealous!" spider says looking at the two

"sure keep telling yourself that" kiri says laughing, "but seriously you need to ask her out before lo'ak does"

"we love our lil bro but honestly he's not gonna be good with y/n" neteyam adds

"i know i do i just dont know if i can do it…like what if she rejects me? thats gonna be awkward" spider says

"you gotta try first at least please for our sake?" kiri asks

"yeah alright i will" spider says getting up

"thats the spirit! now lets go so we can get back at a decent time!"

series taglist ♥: @ok-boke, @spiderscrrowife, @myh3artttt, @multi-simp-page, @universal-s1ut

regular taglist ♥: @xyzstar, @ourloveisgod23, @dizscreams, @kaesworldxx, @bhk1234uwu, @nonniesworld, @lanaslittletwinkie

©crazystargirl 2023 || do NOT copy or repost my work without my permission

[liquidstar]

Regulus- 🎈 🚨

Kari-🧣🥀

Ceres- 🐞 🍎 🎒

(And bonus if you’re up for it I’m also curious who all three would have on their kin carrd in the extreme hypothetical they’d kin because that’s ALWAYS fun to think/hear about with OCs)

This one ended up being kinda long so I'm putting it under the cut :D!

🎈 (balloon) - What does your character do at parties? Are they a wallflower or a party animal? Do they go with friends or alone?

I don’t see Regulus going to, like, normal parties. Like, he’s going to galas and shit instead. He’s social, striking up conversations with people while swirling a glass of wine or champagne in his hands. HOWEVER the exception to this is guild parties, because, well, he’s already there. I think he’d try to act the exact same way but with a red solo cup filled with spiked fruit punch. It kinda works.

🚨 (siren) - What’s your character’s relationship with the law? Have they ever been arrested? What for? What are their opinions on law enforcement?

Well, Nova Stella as a guild does do some under-the-table stuff, so Regulus not against breaking the law. But he himself doesn’t really see a need to do it, so he doesn’t. He’s a rich dude, but he’s not corrupt, so he has no real incentive to do crime. General guild opinion is that knights have mile-long sticks up their asses, which he agrees with but he also doesn’t really have any more complex thoughts on.

🥀 (wilted flower) - How does your character deal with stressful situations? Is their fear response fight, flight, freeze or fawn?

Oh, if it’s an immediate threat, absolutely flight. I mean, Kari is a speedster for a reason. Her first instinct would be to run away, because that’s what she does most of the time anyway. But for a more personal threat, something wrt relationships or general hardship in life… She might go for fawn instead. She’s very much a person who wants to be liked by others, but is often seen as annoying for being too hyper. Luckily the Pandemonium weirdos accept her, but if not for that she may have ended up repressing that.

🧣(scarf) - What comforts your oc? Is it an item? An action? A person? Whatever it is, how and why does it comfort them? 

The most comforting thing in Kari’s life is several bottles of Manic Panic hair dye. Very important for the scene kid.

No, but in all seriousness, she just finds comfort in being with people who don’t mind her quirks. I think for all the members of Pandemonium that’s true- The comfort is the guild itself, the place with the people in it.

🐞 (ladybug) - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see?

On an ideal day, Ceres would just like to relax. A day where all the scouts are behaving, doing quiet activities, not arguing or causing trouble. This has yet to happen though, and most likely never will. A quiet walk in the woods will have to suffice for now.

🍎 (apple) - Does your oc go to school or take classes? Did they go to college? What was/is their favorite subject? Did/do they get good grades? Did/do they enjoy school? 

Ceres was a timber scout themself at one point too! It’s basically a program that trains you to be in a guild, though some people stay to work within the scouts too. Ceres working as a leader of their own unit means they must have done pretty well! Dealing with kids is a different story though.

🎒 (backpack) - What items does your oc usually carry? Do they have a bag or just keep everything in their pockets? Do they carry a lot or a little?

You can already see their weapon of choice is a large swiss army knife! It’s useful for any scout leader, of course. Beyond that they’ll carry things to be prepared for different situations, like first aid supplies, a sewing kit, sunscreen, bug spray, water, snacks, etc.

Who would be on their kinlist?

OMG LOL I’ve never thought about this before. I’m not sure!!! I can definitely say Homare A3 was a huge influence for Regulus’s personality, so he’s gotta be on there, but I also think that if you explained the concept of kinning to Regulus he’d be like “Then I shall be the Concept of Beauty and Grace” and you’re like. “OK” Kari is the only one here who would actually genuinely be into kinning. Gir from Invader Zim and other iconic scenecore characters would be there for sure. Pon and/or Zi from Pon and Zi mayhaps lol. As for Ceres… I feel like Ceres is too tired to keep up w the concept of kinning. They’d be like, “Fine. I’m Fluttershy. Can I go now?” but like they really are kinda Flutershy tbh

[azukanacrown]

Okay I know I’m late to the party, but I’ve just gotta get this outta my system. I’ve been watching Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 and I just finished the episode where Lila tries to frame Marionette for foraging all the class’ portfolios (or whatever they’re called) and it’s just a reminder of how shit of character Lila is. Not necessarily because she’s an awful person, but because she’s horribly written.

I understand that Miraculous is a kid’s show but that doesn’t mean everyone constantly has to be a moron. Like, every time Lila spins a lie the writing surrounding her just completely dumbs down. She isn’t even that necessary as a character. I think the only reason she’s kept around is so she can become the next Hawkmoth (if this is revealed in the last few episodes, don’t tell me), given Bunnix & that one-time traveling villain talking about the Hawkmoth of the future.

Anyways, it’s just annoying how everyone believes her for no good reason. Like, for example, that episode where she’s calling from the Middle East because she’s visiting Prince Ali. Nobody questions the fact that nothing is moving in the background, like no birds no clouds, lighting, people, nothing, nor the lack of visual depth. Because human eyes can tell when something is flat or not (usually). Also, an orange lamp? Really? What is this, a Hollywood movie of the Middle East or any “desert” place?

Then you have Alya refusing to believe Marionette about Lila. Like yes, you shouldn’t just take people’s word for things but once it gets to the point where someone else is also agreeing, aka Adrien and you still refuse to believe them that’s on you. Not to mention, conveniently, Adrien just doesn’t talk about the time when he talked to Lila to ensure she unspins her lies about Marionette pushing her down the stairs. On top of that, she literally said she has a disorder that makes her lie. SHE LITERALLY ADMITTED TO RANDOMLY LYING (even if though that was a lie too other people don’t know that). So even if she “doesn’t mean to” that at least means she compulsively lies and can’t control it.

I also just hate how Alya says it’s cute that Adrien is standing up for his girl instead of considering the fact that he’s just telling the truth. Adrien is someone who tried to see good in even Chloe and now he’s speaking ill of another person, for love or not, that is not in his nature to do and yet they still don’t take either of them seriously (he was in love with Ladybug and she made it pretty clear she didn’t like Chloe and yet he still defended her). It was also very infantilizing towards Marionette. (Also the fact that she just conveniently forgot about the fact that Lila lied about being friends with Ladybug even though she knows Marionette hates her is just pathetic)

Then there’s the fact that, even though Marionette is apparently so busy with her love life and other things, she has the time to not only rewrite but take the time to learn the handwriting of about 16 students. And do it in like a day or two, given she was doing it out of spite for not being picked to be the class rep. Unlike Lila, Marionette has plenty of history to prove her good nature. None of them actually know Lila other than for the things she tells them she does. Like sure, maybe she convinces some of the class but the ENTIRE class. Many of which have always believed in Marionette’s good nature (namely Rose & Mylene).

It pisses me off how Ms. Bustier also tried to send Chloe & Lila to go comfort Sabrina after all of them watched her have a literal breakdown saying it was those exact two that made her do it. And it’s obvious it was just so they could catch their conversation in the bathroom (which, not to mention, is strange it has a two sided mirror into the girls bathroom. I get it was to get proof, but that’s still weird). But then there’s the fact no one turned on those two when they not only watched Sabrina breakdown and turn against Chloe, her literal best-friend and master, but also watch Lila not try to comfort her at ALL, only continuing to try and turn it against Marionette in this honeyed tone. Like it’s just ridiculous (utterly) how much they twist the writing to make sure Lila gets away with her lying even though if they took like two seconds to add Adrien telling his story or someone else having common sense they never would’ve believed her.

I know I am overthinking a kid’s show, you do not have to tell me 💀 trust me I am fully aware.

[blonkk]

im gonna rant!!!

i’m so tireeddddd of people projecting their pathetic insecurities onto everyone else (me). like i’m sorry you’re afraid to be alone and you don’t know who you are and you’re insecure and you have no courage. not to be a bitch but seriously. idc anymore maybe i am stuck up maybe i do think i’m better than you!! but coming at me because i refuse to do what everyone else does with such contempt and vigour just exposes you. like i have accepted that in my life i will not experience romantic love. not because it doesn’t exist, it does for some people, but i’m not gonna base my entire life and goals around meeting someone, falling in love, marrying them and having their children. i’d be ready to end my shit right now if those were my goals, being 28 and not even having a boyfriend. that means i’ve already failed at life but i knowwww i’m still a caterpillar. like be serious. sooooo yeah, sorry that in your narrow worldview everyone needs to basically get married and have kids, and there’s “someone out there for you” — what so all women gotta find that person by age 30 or our lives are over?? 😂 you delusional weirdos sound like hardcore christians. like maybe there is someone for me who i’ll meet when i’m 45 or 70! maybe i’ll never meet them! maybe there isn’t anyone because that’s just the way the world is! but i’m selfish because i don’t want to spend my life being miserable because i can’t find love and place all chances of future happiness on this person and the privilege of bearing/raising their kids??!!? so i should just settle for second best — of something i don’t even WANT — because everyone says it’s the point of life?… anyways

i’m just annoyed like i said. i can accept a loveless life, it’s hard but i’m ok lol. yeah it gets sad and lonely sometimes but truth is i have a pretty wonderful life that i’m thankful for, despite sadness, loneliness, grief etc. being in love won’t improve things in any significant way imo. i don’t want to be isolated in a relationship with a man. i don’t want to live with a man. i don’t want to have kids. i like my life; i like my 50 year old snowboard bum roommate, i like my shit car, i like having the ability to do whatever i want. i like bouncing from job to job, despite the financial insecurity and general lack of stability; all my life i’ve wanted to be free and independent, and i finally am — i can take care of myself which is what matters. i love my friends, i love exploring different hobbies and places and careers. i am literally unemployed and haven’t been this happy in a long, long time. i’m so sick of people telling me they “want me to be happy” but ignore me when i say i finally truly am. they just want to shove me in their stifling little box with them for god knows what reason. just because you think your life is perfect doesn’t mean it will be for everyone. idk, things change! maybe i’ll change too! but for now shut the fuck up. go be in your annoying relationship with your insufferable bf/husband and tell everyone how much were missing out on by not being married/having kids. the gals a couple feminist waves back beg to differ along with the steadily rising divorce rates and rapidly declining marriage and birth rates.

you’re the one who’s unhappy. if not, then you simply lack compassion and general respect for others. your worldview is small and you’re ignorant. your life is yours, others have different wants and will follow the path that leads them to those things. we all suffer for our choices — sure, i may wish at times i had a spouse and a house and a mouse. that doesn’t mean it’s what i have always wanted deep deep down. it means it’s normal to wonder what it would be like to have what you don’t and yearn a little sometimes. BUT i’d literally never give up my freedom. i think back to high school often and how restricted i felt; i couldn’t breathe. i flailed in that environment because it was so rigid. i’m never, ever going back to that, ever. i have self respect

[dxnisheatingdetective]

Five times protected for Harvey and Lily (let someone stand up for the man!)

five times protected:     ( five times the receiver was protected by the sender)

Harvey opened an eye from the sofa where he lay peering at hushed but intense voices by the door. He focused to try and hear what was being said but all he caught was snippets. It was Lily and she was in no uncertain terms telling someone to get lost. He hadn't expected to see her or her to come round but at some point she must have been worried about him. He'd taken a beating, not the most unusual thing in Gotham but he was getting too old for this shit and his ribs were bruised to shit. Harvey never liked to bother anyone so he'd headed home and buried himself in whiskey and painkillers for a bit. Lily had turned up all annoyed when she saw his black eye and then insisted she stay. Now she was telling whoever was at the door to get lost and he had to admit he was grateful.

(( Four more below the cut =) ))

"Hey, BACK OFF!" Harvey just stared at Lily for a moment. It surprised him when she stepped in, it always surprised him when someone else had his back. He wasn't used to it, he'd gotten so used to only ever having his own or having to look out for everyone else. It had been a reporter getting in his face about failings at the GCPD, Harvey had already been beating himself up for days because of a case involving some kids. Then all this other stuff had come out and one of the cops had been on the take from the ringleader and others had known about it. It was really good investigative journalism but all it did was make Harvey torture himself with the fact he should have known. He'd prided himself on toeing the line between dark and light for a while now. It was a saving grace, not being as bullish as Gordon meant he still got a heads up on the more nefarious activity within the GCPD. Offered stolen goods, told about the best whore houses, drug dens, illegal gambling. Bullock drew the line at kids though and he'd stand up to any of that crap. It tortured him that he either hadn't been paying enough attention or just hadn't found out what was happening earlier.

"You son of a bitch!" Harvey yelled throwing a punch before the guy grabbed hold of his throat. Harvey wasn't an athlete but he was scrappy, he could punch hard and he could swing a bat when needed. Strangled noises left Harvey as the perp forced him and his back against the bar, until, there was an ooft noise and the perp was falling to the floor. Lily was stood in her best dress, empty punch bowl that she'd just clocked the guy with in her hands. "Atta girl." Harvey joked loosening his tie and rubbing his neck. God he was going to be in pain the next day.

"Lil, please, I'm fine. Go home and get some rest." Harvey said gently. He'd been in hospital four days now after getting stabbed by a perp him and Jim were chasing. "I'm not going anywhere." Lily said, she'd been sat by his bedside almost constantly and he could see how tired she was. "Seriously, Lily it's okay, I'm fine. It's nothing that hasn't happened before. I'm gunna be just fine and the nurses and docs are all good, honestly nothing is going to happen to me." "That's what you said when you left the other night and now here we are." Lily replied. "Alright, okay, but if you start to smell y'know the nurses are gunna tell you you're a biohazard right?" Harvey chuckled whilst squeezing the hand that was still holding his gently.

"Look, I get it okay, but I gotta trust my radar and that guy is a grade A creep." Harvey said holding up his hands. "Harvey-" Lily folded her arms across her chest and watched him, narrowing her eyes. "Harvey Bullock are you jealous?" "Fine, don't be mad when I say I told you so though." Harvey wouldn't get to saying I told you so though, he was too busy punching the guys lights out and then having some unis arrest him on some trumped up charge. Lily hadn't noticed the guy waiting in his car as she started home after a long shift but Harvey had and there was no legitimate reason, save for maybe an undercover cop, for this random dude who'd just started working at the university to be hanging around and seemingly waiting for Lily. Harvey had watched as the guy watched and as soon as the lights went off in her office he'd gotten out of his car. Harvey followed suit and so Lily came out to Harvey nursing his knuckles and a flood of cops on the campus.

[bahamutgames]

Fire Emblem : Three Afterthoughts

Game: Fire Emblem : Three Houses (July 26, 2019)

Console: Nintendo Switch

Hello again! Been a hot second since I've talked about anything I played recently. But I have been playing a good bit! I've actually been a little stressed and burnt out and kind of ONLY had the energy to play games. Which isn't great lol. But I'm here once again to talk about some random games to you all!

Originally I was just gonna put this game in the December roundup. But the more I thought about it, the more I had to say about it. And today I watched my sister beat the Golden Deer run. So now I've seen the 3 base game runs (I played Black Eagles and watched her do Blue Lions a few months ago). So I figured I'd give some of my silly little thoughts about it.

Gotta say it every time: This is NOT a review!! This is just me throwing up my thoughts after having beaten the game! Don't take my words as gospel and always check out anything I talk about if it interests you!

SPOILERS FOR ALL 3 HOUSES AHEAD, BUT MAINLY FOR BLACK EAGLES!!

Opening

So yeah! I haven't played a TON of Fire Emblem games, but prior to this I had played Awakening and it's easily one of my all time favorite video games! So when my sister asked me to play it, I figured I might as well give it a shot!

I was honestly not really expecting to like this game. I knew it wouldn't be as good as Awakening and the teacher sections seemed SO daunting and unfun. However I was pleasantly surprised to see that...

Stuff I liked

I loved this game! I had a real blast playing through this one! The main thing that really drew me into the game is how good Strategy RPG gameplay is. I genuinely forgot how seriously good this genre is. Now, I will confess that I played it on casual mode because I suck at these games. (But also I actually prefer no perma death because using teammates as bait and sacrificing allies to boost them forward is more fun than playing carefully around keeping everyone alive)

But still I had a ton of fun beefing up my teammates, and finding the best way to get guys to the commanders as quick as possible, or the thrill of just seeing my dudes mow down enemy units ON THEIR TURN! It's super fun and again I genuinely forgot how much fun the genre can be! I really need to play more Strategy games soon!

And outside of that, a BIG strength Fire Emblem has always had to me was its characters. They are GREAT in this game! I joined Black Eagles cause I was thirsty for Dorothea, and didn't like ANY of the boys in my class. But by the end I loved ALL OF THEM! Between them just being super useful in combat, their supports, and them just being fun to see them talk, every classmate was GREAT! It's genuinely impressive this game can make you care about people you are convinced you will not give a shit about. By the end of it I actually wanted to marry Bernadetta SO bad she's SO cute post time skip. But sadly she's not into girls (genuinely unbelievable) and male byleth looks STUPID so I refuse to play as him.

The story is also interesting, I was actually VERY impressed with it. It's SUPER political with a lot of talks about serious government stuff which was very interesting. Obviously Awakening had a lot of war and political talk too but it was a lot more anime and about the power of friendship. Which I prefer of course, but it was interesting to see a Nintendo game tackle a first party (I think) title with a lot more dark themes about religion and horrific war crimes. It was neat even if it wasn't my cup of tea. And I thought the stories of the different classmates were nice, I actually liked Byleth a lot and really enjoyed seeing them grow a bit as the story progressed (I want this weird kid to be happy), and I was surprised that I even liked Sothis who I also thought would be annoying lol. I was genuinely a little sad to see her go.

And I did genuinely enjoy the school sections. They weren't my favorite part of the game but considering I was convinced I wouldn't like it AT ALL I was really pleased with it! I liked cooking and eating with teammates, talking to everyone, walking about the monestary, and I liked how teaching your classmates allowed you to REALLY customize everyone. It was neat! I was worried the teacher angle would introduce a kind of weird power dynamic but honestly, I was really pleased that it didn't. They don't harp on it very much (in Black Eagles they full on say they consider everyone in class as equals) and they don't even let you marry your classmates until the END of the game so it's not a huge deal.

And there's some other stuff to say, I like the music a lot. It has some great battle themes and the main theme is very good! I really liked that you could change character's outfits by upgrading them to different classes and I honestly wish there were more costume options in general (I had my Byleth in the dancer outfit all game!) I think the game has some nice character and monster design. I was seriously heartbroken by having to kill Edelgard and Hubert. There's a lot to praise!

Stuff I didn't like

BUT, of course. There's a lot to not praise too. I do have some issues with this game. The first, and maybe it's a nitpick, but it bothered me a LOT during the game. Is that the graphics can be kinda ugly! It's not really something you notice when you're zoomed out on the map. But when you really get up in the character's faces in support conversations it's VERY noticeable. Some gross textures, and the bizarre box texture they put the characters in for supports. Stuff like that usually doesn't bother me but for some reason it was REALLY noticeable in this game? I think I would've rathered they cut some more corners in other places to allow them to make the character models at least very good looking. Similarly the game has some odd design choices for characters like their rosy noses? Not a big deal but it did add more stuff to the models that made them feel off.

Then I do have some issues with the story. So, it's a good story for sure. And after having seen all the runs I certainly liked all 3. But I really can't help but feel like the story would've felt more impactful if it wasn't split into 3 runs. I know it may have been odd because separating the classes allows for some more personal moments with them and some tough moments when you encounter other classes in combat. BUT at the same time, when they make you feel all sad for a student you NEVER interacted with. It doesn't hit that hard? And yeah, you're SUPPOSED to do all 3 runs. But I feel like they aren't different ENOUGH to warrant doing it back to back? Although I also thought the story was a little TOO smart for me. So I couldn't properly understand all of the political stuff and I feel like some things went over my head, so maybe combining it together can't help my dumbass.

Like, killing Edelgard is something everyone does. And it was a really sad moment for me when she begged me to kill her. But in Golden Deer, it seems like you don't interact with her much. So how can be that impactful? Dimitri's run ends after killing her so you don't even get EITHER of the cool final bosses? Also after seeing Golden Deer I do feel like them not being super fond of Rhea just feels better? Whereas in Black Eagles they all just immediately warm back up to the church after the first half of the game was EVERYONE being like "why did Rhea execute those people? Will she do that to us if we misbehave?"

I understand some other problems would arise from it. But I think maybe having all the classes join forces, having to fight edelgard, then having Nemesis vs Rhea vs Your Rebel Army for the final boss? Maybe that way there could've been some more attention to Those Who Slither In The Dark too? Idk. Of course this is just me throwing up my thoughts so they don't have to make any sense.

But my biggest issue with this game... Is some of the non classmate characters. 3 of them in specific. Number one is Rhea! Hey. Are we going to talk about Rhea being a weirdo and sometimes being a religious dictator who seems to use her power to kill whoever she wants? I don't care she was sad about her mom WHY IS SHE EXPERIMENTING ON CHILDREN? Hello? But whatever. She has a big butt so I guess it's okay? Then there's Cyril. Ugh this dude is SO boring. And all his supports are HOURS long. And then. Catherine. Oh my GOD... I hate this lady.

Like I'm not kidding, new paragraph just to talk about this character. I'm actually INSULTED they had the audacity to punish me with this character joining my team like I agree with her in any way shape or form. And I'm honestly shocked this character is even in this game. Like. Holy shit. So. Catherine is a religious nutcase who worships the goddess to an unhealthy degree. She is convinced that the only way to show her devotion to the goddess is to strike down and kill ANYONE who doesn't believe in her. She is a total cop. She kills a royal's son, causing him to go insane. She threatens to kill Shamir, her best friend, because she isn't religious. And the most shocking of all, she tells Caspar she kills children and that it's necessary for the job. Her defense is "what if they're coming at you with weapons" THEY'RE CHILDREN YOU FUCKING PSYCOPATH?? YOU ARE A TRAINED SOLDIER?? And at no point in the Black Eagles run is she called out for being the most unlikable character ever made. I'm actually blown away by her and having her in my team genuinely made me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm overreacting but I just genuinely hate this character!

Final Thoughts

ANYWAY! Aside from some nitpicks and finding one of my new least favorite teammate in an RPG ever! I REALLY REALLY enjoyed Three Houses! Maybe it's just cause I was expecting not to enjoy this one. And while it's no Awakening (what could be?) I had a blast with this! Three Houses gets my seal of approval I think!

===

Thank you for reading! It always feels weird when I have a big negative section about a game I ultimately really enjoyed. But I suppose it's better for your game to give me complaints rather than me just feel nothing and think the game was boring as hell. And Three Houses certainly wasn't boring!

I don't know if I'll do the DLC mission but I might consider it. Like I said I'm tempted to play more Strategy RPGs soon. Cause even outside of this I really enjoyed the Strategy stuff in Enchanted Arms and Ikenfell! It's clearly a genre I enjoy.

I've been extremely stressed and burnt out recently. Like, for a few months. So I'd like to take a break for a little as I get ready for some really stressful irl business. So I hope I can just enjoy some more video games soon while I try to unwind for a little.

That's all I got though! Go out and play a game you thought you wouldn't enjoy!

[iwaasfairy]

hello fairy! I hope you're doing okay. just letting you know you should probably block gorouswrld. they think that adults aging up fictional minor characters to write about them in adult scenarios is child porn

i do love how every few months these little children come out of the woodworks with the same prechewed takes as the last set of em and think they're doing something revolutionary. thank you for letting me know, i've blocked and we can keep on livin our lives <3333

anyways every haikyuu character deserves a blowie every day for the rest of their lives and that's canon <333

[heavyhitterheaux]

My Baby is Having a Baby

A First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: Baby Jack and Baby Y/N are about to lose their shit

Synopsis: The one time Jack's pullout game wasn't A1

Pairing: Baby Jack Harlow x Baby Rapper!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was three in the morning when you woke up out of a peaceful sleep.

It was the most sleep you had gotten in a week since you had been sick.

You had been throwing up for the past four days thinking that you had some type of food poisoning from a new restaurant that your sister wanted try earlier that week and thought nothing else of it.

For some unknown reason, you glanced at the calendar that was near your room door and with a sudden realization got wide eyes when it was clear what day it was.

Throwing up in the morning and being extremely hungry for the rest of the day

The fatigue

Your boobs were sore

And you had been peeing more than usual

No. 

You couldn't be.

You reached for your phone on the bedside table to call your boyfriend because you were scared shitless.

Luckily he only lived across the street and could be there in a matter of two minutes.

He was about to be annoyed since it was three in the morning and a Monday meaning that you both had to go to school, but this definitely could not wait.

It took you calling him twice, but he finally answered.

"Babe.... what.... is going on?"

“Jackman, get your ass across the street now!”

“Baby, it is literally three in the morning. This couldn’t wait?” Jack groaned before turning to face his window.

“Obviously not! This is an emergency!”

“What in the world could be an emergency at three in the morning? And stop yelling."

“MY PERIOD IS A WEEK LATE.”

It was silent for a few seconds before he said anything.

You both knew the parents would kill you both.

“Stop fucking playing. I always use a condom."

"I wish I was now come over here!"

Jack was climbing into your window within fifteen minutes to see you sitting on the bed and staring off into space. He came and sat next to you while taking your hand in his and rubbing small circles on the back of it in an attempt to get you to calm down.

A couple minutes had passed before either of you said anything. 

"Sooo, I thought you just had food poisoning?"

"I thought so too. But, my period has NEVER been late. It's like clockwork every single month. It comes on the 7th and it’s now the 14th"

"But we always use protection."

"The last time we didn't, remember? 'I'll just pullout' headass."

"Oh, forgot about that..."

"You were so excited to get your dick wet that you forgot to buy them and my dumbass didn't say anything."

Of course this would have to happen two weeks before your appointment to get started on birth control pills.

"So, what's next? Because you have to take a test to be sure, right?"

"Yeah, and nothing is open right now."

"We just have to wait until school's over."

"There is no way I'll be able to focus for seven hours. Besides, I'm still throwing up from time to time."

"Then I'll go and buy it and come straight here."

"We're only 16, we can’t take care of a child. We can barely take care of ourselves."

"Y/N, just... try and relax. We don't know for sure."

"How can you be so calm about this? Have you met our parents?"

"Trust and believe I'm putting on a good front right now."

Even though you had been the one throwing up, Jack just knew his dinner was about to be covering your bedroom walls as well as the floor. 

"Do you think McDonald's will hire me? Gotta pay for the kid somehow."

You were spoiled and had never worked a day in your life.

Looks like that was over now.

"No. With your slow ass you'll be messing up orders left and right."

"Wow, just knock your girl while she's down."

"I'm playin, baby girl. But I'll be making enough money for the both of us so you don't have to worry."

"Hmm..."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just praying that our kid doesn't have your head. I can't push that out."

"Seriously?"

Jack didn't sleep for the rest of the night and before he knew it his alarm was going on alerting him that it was time to get ready. He stayed with you for about another hour until you fell back asleep before heading back to his house across the street. Still feeling like he was going to throw up at any minute, he decided to skip out on eating the breakfast that his mom made.

Clay was sitting at the kitchen table the entire time eyeing his older brother knowing that something was wrong and decided that he would get it out of him later when they were by themselves. 

"Where are you off to in such a hurry? And why do you look paler than usual?" Maggie asked concerned while looking at her oldest child. She attempted to feel his forehead to check to see if he had a temperature before he swatted her hand away. 

“Oh, umm... I just didn’t sleep very well last night. And me and Urban have a group assignment that we have to meet early for.”

“Well, okay. Do you feel alright though?”

“Yep, fine.”

Without another word Jack grabbed his backpack and made sure that Clay was following behind him. When Clay went to sit in the back of Jack’s car, he made a motion for him to come and sit in the front.

“Isn’t Y/N coming with us?”

“No, she’s still not feeling well.”

“She’s been out all week. That can’t just be food poisoning.”

“Hmm...”

Jack didn’t answer his younger brother and calmly put the car in drive before taking off. The car ride was silent the entire duration of him driving towards the school. It helped that Clay’s middle school and the high school were next to one another. Clay didn’t mind being early if he could get a ride from his brother and not have to worry about waiting at the bus stop.

“What is up with you? Mom’s right. You’re a lot paler than you usually are and you look like you’re about to throw up at any minute.”

Jack was bursting at the seams and had to tell someone about what was going on inside his head because he didn’t think he would be able to hold it in much longer. 

All he knew was Clay better keep his mouth shut if he told him.

“What I’m about to tell you, you CANNOT repeat.”

“Okay? I mean what did you do? It can’t be that bad. Get Y/N pregnant?”

Silence.

“JACK! YOU GOT HER PREGNANT? I WAS JOKING.”

“Keep your voice down! And we don’t know for sure yet!”

“It is literally only the two of us in the car. Who is listening? And besides Is that where you went this morning at three am?”

“You nosey as all hell. What were you doing up anyway?”

“I got thirsty and went to get some water.” Clay replied while shrugging. 

“This stays between us. Do not repeat what I just told you.”

“Secret is safe with me. Besides, mom and dad are going to kill you if she really is.”

Jack scoffed before leaning his head onto the steering wheel.

“And don’t I know it?”

---

The final bell had rang and Jack was just about ready to trample over anyone who got in his way.

He needed to hurry up and get to the drugstore before you had another panic attack.

You already had three so far today since you had told him every single time that it happened. 

Urban noticed that his best friend had been acting strange all day and decided that it was now time to confront him. Clay mentioned that he would take the bus home and Jack didn’t have to worry about waiting for him knowing the situation that he was in. 

Thank goodness because that would have only made his anxiety increase having to be away from you for an even longer period of time. 

Urban slid into the passenger seat and simply stared at Jack.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“What the hell is going on with you today? And where is Y/N? I sent her a text but she didn’t say anything which is weird.”

You always answered every single time Urban had sent you a text. It had become a little more frequent this week since he knew that you hadn’t been feeling all that well and he wanted to check on you. 

Jack thought you didn’t answer him probably because you were wracking your brain to try and come up with a plan on being a teenage mother.

“Urb... I did a thing...”

“A bad thing?”

“Well, no. But, yes. It’s bad considering how old we are but overall it’s not really a bad...”

“Will you just come out with it?”

“I think Y/N is pregnant.”

“Oh....”

“Oh, what do you mean oh?”

“Oh, meaning that your dumbass didn’t use a condom?! I know she’s pretty but damn!”

Jack remained silent as he turned away from Urban.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“My pullout game is usually A1.”

“But this time it wasn’t!”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“Well, did she get her period?”

“About that....”

“Your dumbass is in for it now. Maggie and Brian are about to light your ass up. But, I’ll be the godfather, right? I mean that is probably the only bright side in all of this.”

“Is that really all your concerned about right now?!”

Luckily your parents were still at work when Jack and Urban knocked on the door. You opened it and was eyeing Urban not knowing how much he knew.

“I’m taking my position of godfather early. So, yes I know and yes we have a test to confirm.” Urban stated as both he and Jack walked through the threshold and into the foyer as he handed you the bag.

“A test? A test? In meaning one?!”

“Yes, one. Is there something I’m missing?”

"Why did you only buy one test!?!? We need at least three to be sure!"

"Stink, chill out. I'll be back."

“No, you stay with her. I’ll go get two more.”

Jack handed Urban his keys while you started to make your way up the steps into your room. Jack followed you in complete silence.

You both sat on your bed and the waterworks that had been threatening to fall finally made their appearance.

You were surprised that you had kept it together for so long.

The dam finally broke and you couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Jack simply pulled you onto his lap and tried to comfort you the best way he could.

“Hey, mamas. It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens we’ll get through it.”

“I’ve ruined your career!”

“Baby, stop. You haven’t ruined anything. This is just more motivation for me to really do this and make it happen.” 

“And we’re not married! My parents will kill me! Children born out of wedlock?! THEY’LL DISOWN ME.”

“Baby, we are literally not old enough to get married. And knowing your parents I think they’ll be mad but they won’t disown you.”

“In some states the legal age is 16!”

“Okay, let’s relax for a second. And that... is entirely too young and should be illegal everywhere.”

“I need to throw up.”

“Wait, now?”

“Yes, now Jackman! Move before I get it on you!”

You were happy that you had a bathroom all to yourself that was connected to your room and hoped no one would suddenly decide to come home early from work and ask what the three of you were doing. 

You had taken all three of the tests and everyone was now patiently waiting for the results. The timer had been set on your phone as the three of you tried to find something to do in order to occupy your time.

Then you heard the alarm.

"Stink, go look because I'm too nervous." You whispered and looked over at Jack who had eyes as big as saucers.

"And I’m not?!"

"Fine, I'll look! Sooner we get this over with, the better." Urban replied while getting up and making his way into the bathroom.

He was quiet for a few seconds which made your anxiety skyrocket if it was even possible at this point.

You needed a blunt. 

“Urb?!?”

He calmly walked out of the bathroom with a smile on his face before revealing if the news was good or bad.

“Not pregnant. All three.”

You and Jack breathed a sigh of relief that you didn’t realize either of you had been holding. 

“Thank God I don’t have to push out a head as big as yours.”

“Hey!”

“She’s not lying bro. Your head is kinda big.”

“Fuck both of yall.”

“Well you two have been doing a lot of that as of lately which resulted in the situation that happened today, so I’ll pass.”

“But, if you aren’t pregnant, what’s wrong with you then?”

“No idea. I just have to ask my mom to take me to the doctor when she gets home I guess.”

“Okay now that the panic is over, we have songs to write.”

Later on that night, Jack sent a text to check on you and see how you were feeling. Despite finding out that you weren’t pregnant, he was still worried because he didn’t know what was wrong with you.

Jack- Baby girl, do you feel any better? Need me to bring you anything?

You- Yes now that I know I’m not pregnant

Jack- Did your mom take you to urgent care?

You- Yep and she was PISSED

Jack- Wait, what? Why?

You- I just had PMS. Symptoms usually show 5 to 10 days before it actually shows up.

Jack- Wait a minute... so this entire time?

You- I got my period an hour ago. Can you bring me gummy bears, chocolate, and some Doritos? I love you, stink.

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@laylasbunbunny

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinadolans

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@jackharlowsbabe

[meowzfordayz]

nobody like you

Author’s Note: did a ton of random research for writing this — really every fanfic ends up involving some sort of research... still gotta brush up on my Taisho Era clothing knowledge. 🤓

nobody like you

Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~2,600

CW: explicit language, mild sexual content, traumatic references

Song Inspo: Nobody Like You by Little Mix

Request Fulfilled: Hi can I request headcannons of tanjiro x reader, zenitsu x reader, and inosuke x reader where the reader is a simp for their partner and mildly dislikes everyone else

~faqs~

Something tells me

Zenitsu would be too blissed out

On the fact that

[Y/N]-CHAN IS NICE TO ME?!?!?!?!?!

To notice how:

You constantly interrupt Tanjirou when he’s just trying to get out a full sentence my golly gosh

If you’ve heard one of his inspirational pep talks

Then really, you’ve heard them all

Yada yada, blah blah blah

—Writing that made me sad ☹️ 

—We stan Tanjirou in this household 🥰

—Anywho

You’re always stepping on the back of Inosuke’s heels

Because

He annoys everything that is even remotely good out of you

Instantly

It’s his fucking boar head

Can’t take that shit seriously

Muffles everything he says

Smells bad

Looks bad

Ugh

You aspire to someday trip him near a hill

And watch him tumble 🙃

Not a dangerous hill

But a steep and long enough one that the satisfaction gained from your mischief = 💯

You essentially shade everyone

Not complete strangers ofc

You aren’t a menace to society

You have finesse 😎

But Hashira be damned

With their unpredictable, headache inducing ✨quirks✨ 

“Nobody cares Uzui-sama,” you sound bored

He deflates, Nichirin cleavers halting their spinning, flashy motion

“[y/n]! I’d like to see you do something impressive!”

Man’s ego bruises like a peach

You yawn

“Uzui-sama. I’d rather not.”

Not for him

—

You aren’t mean

You’re simply

~low energy~

Liking people requires effort

And you’re not here for that

Well

Almost 😅

…

“[yyy/nnn]-chaaan!”

You smile so naturally, so fondly

As his voice rushes to you

“Zeni-chan!”

You turn around

“Are you kidding me…” Sanemi grunts under his breath

Only moments ago you were blatantly ignoring his failures attempts to invite you to spar with him

Mind you

Sanemi likes you as much as you like him

Not much

But you’re, unfortunately, an okay sparring opponent

So 🙄

Man just wants to get good

“Why are you talking to hiiiiim?” Zenitsu points anxiously at Sanemi

Zenitsu’s chill with scars

Scars are cool

But Sanemi? The man himself?

Sanemi is so scary

“I’m not,” you shrug

Sanemi’s mouth hangs open

Like, wtf?

How does cheddar boi get your attention so easily ??

“Oh!” Zenitsu grins

“What can I do for ya?” you reach for his hand

P.S. Sanemi’s totally seething as y’all just saunter away from him #loveydoveyshit

P.P.S. Sanemi forgets that y’all are a thing

P.P.P.S. Because it’s boggling for Sanemi to imagine you being pleasant to anyone

P.P.P.P.S. But then you do something terribly out of character like giggle and nudge your shoulder against cheddar boi

P.P.P.P.P.S. And cheddar boi fucking squeals and pinches your cheek and screams about how pretty you are

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. And you just… giggle harder?

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Sanemi shudders 🤢

—

If Sanemi thinks that’s shudder worthy

Then he’s lucky he misses a majority of your time with Zenitsu

You’re sickeningly gentle with him

And he laps that shit UP 🤩

Whenever you’re together his hair be looking like y’all just fucked 🥵

But you’re simply fascinated

soft sunshine bounce

Happily combing your fingers through it

Scratching behind his ears juuust right

“Uhmf,” Zenitsu’s in heaven

“Aww Zeni-chan… so cute…” you coo

The number of afternoons you’ve spent just sitting in one spot?

Because he fell asleep with his head in your lap

Countless

Shinobu made the mistake once

Of inquiring about a leftover drool stain

On your pants

After one such afternoon of Zenitsu napping

Which, honestly, wouldn’t have bothered you

Except that Zenitsu was beside you

Clinging to you as an embarrassed whine escaped him

Your eyes narrowed

“Pardon, Kocho-sama?”

She walks into your trap, “That stain on your pants, [y/n]. Have you tried using lemon juice or white vinegar to remove it?”

“I have not, nor do I plan on it. If you have a problem with Zenitsu’s saliva, then you should keep it to yourself.”

Zenitsu whines louder, face redder than an Akane apple

Okay maaaybe you just unintentionally threw him under the bus carriage

😬

You’ll apologize profusely asap 🥺

Shinobu lets out a little gasp

“Oh that’s my bad Agatsuma-kun. I have no problem with your saliva. I’ll just…” be on my way now

Shinobu doesn’t stick around to finish her sentence

You immediately hug yourself to Zenitsu, mumbling frantically

“I’m so so sorry Zeni-chan I don’t know what came over me!”

His arms tighten around your hips, his fluster dissipating quickly

“You’re so amazing [y/n]-chan! You look out for me and defend me and are so gorgeous inside and out.”

You sniffle, burrowing your nose further into his chest

“Even when I’m looking out for your drool?”

He beams adoringly, “Especially when you’re looking out for my drool! Nobody else would think to do that for me.”

You chuckle shyly, still inwardly reprimanding yourself

“If you say so Zeni-chan.”

If Inosuke’s a bit ✨rough around the edges✨

Then you’re that one kitchen knife that everyone thinks is reasonably dull

Only to cut themselves on it doing some menial task like slicing cucumbers

You appear friendly enough

Standing next to Inosuke helps

I mean, boar head vs normal head?

But man oh me oh my

Your patience for nonsense?

🚫 the limit does not exist 🚫

Except, it does

And it’s extremely, extremely

Low

And like

Just think about it

Does a single Hashira, let alone Zenitsu, although maaaybe Tanjirou, come to mind who isn’t full of some type of nonsense ??

Gyomei cries wolf

Obanai’s attitude ticks you off

Mitsuri fawns far too frequently

You tolerate Shinobu because

Well

She do be healing you when you get fucked up

But Kyojuro is just unbearably nice

—sobs I love him so much 😤

While Sanemi’s unnecessarily abrasive before you even flip your shit on him

Muichiro gets on your nerves bc

It’s impossible to hold a conversation with him

Giyuu’s haori sparks your interest

The rest of him?

Not so much

And Tengen?

You’re all for flashy or flamboyant

But ffs you canNOT handle both 😐

You figure

You’re not exactly anyone’s favorite either

Although

It’s less so that you’re annoying to others

And more so that they become annoying to you first

—Except for Sanemi

—The annoyance is mutual

So

Considering your sky high standards

The fact that Inosuke never irritates you

Isn’t a fact

He always irritates you

The difference?

Idk

That he’s upfront about it?

Man knows he pushes your buttons 1,452 times a day

Sometimes it feels like he’s keeping track

And going for the record

Every

Fucking

Day

And somehow

It endears you

You look forward to his nonsense

To your stomach twisting from laughing too hard 

And getting to break up

The fights that he starts

Tsk tsk ing when you spy

A new bruise

Scrape

Cut

He’s the only person

Who asks, “How ya doing?” and “Feeling okay today [y/n]?”

Although, to be more accurate

He’s the only person you ever feel like actually answering

“Inosuke,” you poke his bare shoulder

You 💖 poking him

Those meaty shoulders 😌

“[y/n].”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Can I ask you something?!?!”

You glare

He glares back, “Do ya like me?”

“That’s your question?”

“You never tell anybody how you’re doing, how you’re feeling,” his smugness rn 

GAH

“‘Cept me.” 😇

You’re not caught completely unaware

Because

For the past couple days weeks months

You’ve lowkey been dropping hints

—So there may have been

A ~recent evening

In which Inosuke barged into your room

Like

Had to go get tools and come back and spend 20 minutes getting your door to stay in its place

Barging in

Because he’d shopped in town that morning

And was finally ready to drink and settle in for the night

This sake that Tengen yapped and yapped about

And it occurred to him

That he’d never seen you tipsy

Drunk

Wasted

None of the spectrum

So

Why not tonight?!

“You wreck my door then assume I want to drink sake with you?” you’d crossed your arms

“Yup.”

Resigned to your fate, you’d ushered him in, gesturing to the floor, “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Wait-” you’d sighed, “I appreciate that you’re at least properly dressed, but the boar head comes off.”

Real talk

Inosuke was shocked you’d even let him return to fix your door

So boar head came off

“[yyy/nnn]-chaaan,” amusingly, his gruff tone turned sing-songy when he was tipsy

“Mm?”

“Why’d’ya put up with me?”

You’d stared at him carefully, noting the subtle flush and dampness of his skin, eyes glistening brightly, “Why did you offer me sake and then drink most of it?”

He’d guffawed, paying more attention to the playful curve of your mouth than the words coming out of it

“[yyy/nnn]-chaaan,” he’d tried again, “Why’d’ya put up with me?”

“Because you fill me with joy.”

Your response had startled you

To his credit

He’d just

Smiled

At you

“M’sleeping here. On floor.”

You’d raised an eyebrow

“What if I forget you’re here in the morning and step on you?”

He’d opened an eye at you from his sprawled position, “You want me here in the morning?”

“Go to sleep,” your voice had retorted

If he hadn’t dranken most of the sake

Then he might’ve heard the wobble in your throat

…

If he’d woken up with a pillow under his head

Yours noticeably missing

His boar head set thoughtfully

On your windowsill

A blanket tucked warmly at his feet and spread over him

Then he’d never mentioned it

—

“Can I ask about the consequences?”

“Ah, what’s the fun in that?” Inosuke grumbles

“Heartache is not fun,” you mutter

“Heartache from liking me or not liking me?”

“That depends on whether you like me smartass,” you are calm, you are steady

“Nuh uh. If you like me and I don’t, heartache. But if ya don’t like me and I do, or if you like me and I like you, then your heart’ll be fine.”

“Since when do you speak like a wiseass?” 🤨

“I think you like me,” he nods confidently

Big sigh

You give in 😮‍💨

To his brash humored

Boar headed

Push-every-button-on-the-elevator

Persistence and affection

“Come to my room later?”

He yells triumphantly, fist pumping and spinning spinning spinning

“Not like that,” you hiss, “I just… I like taking care of you.”

Inosuke stops spinning

Puffs up his chest

“In that case, [y/n], could you get me some water?”

You snort, “Nope.”

“Please?” he pauses, “And, thank you?”

He has manners?! 🤯

But like

What did you expect? 🧐

This man totally believes he’s the shit 👑

Informing him straight up that you like taking care of him

Is just an invitation for him to take advantage

—”Thirsty?” Tanjirou waves at you as you stomp into the kitchen

“No.”

Small talk irks you

Which means

Tanjirou

Bless his little heart

Irks you

Often

“Oh. Um. Okay.”

“It’s for Inosuke.”

Tanjiou watches you leave

With a huge glass of water 

And leftover shrimp tempura

His nose crinkles

Little brain struggling to connect the dots

For Inosuke?!

This angel 🥲

Always tries

To help you

See the best in others

“Tan… I don’t want to,” you grumble

You’re sitting on his bed

Legs stretched out

As he tugs off

His sweaty kimono

—Does this seem a bit ooc bc like, darling Tanjirou stripping mindlessly in front of their partner w/o even blushing ??

—Well don’t worry

—I assure you he’s blushing

—Like, might actually be on 🔥 blushing

—But his discomfort is minor

—Compared to how radiantly you ogle him ☀️

—You hype this man up 24/7

—You can’t tell me he doesn’t highkey lowkey have a praise kink 

—Bc he totally does

—So yeah, darling Tanjirou strips in front of you

—Not all the way !! Yeesh !! Unless you’re about to have sex obvi

—And you get to cheer him on

—Abs, abs, abs !!

He looks at you sternly

You pout

Quickly rearranges his face

To something more neutral

Because your pout game is 💪🥇

He’s cautious, “But dear... I know how much you love udon, and it’s been a while since we’ve gone out.”

You scowl

He winces

“Tan. I don’t like going out.” Sigh

“And don’t call me dear.” 😓

“It makes me feel old.” 😭

“But I love when you call me sweetheart,” you throw the poor guy a bone

“Sweetheart,” he smiles in spite of himself, “What’s really going on here?”

—You also can’t tell me

—He doesn’t read you like a book

“You didn’t eat the lunch I made you.”

He blinks

Pardon?

“I spent an absurd amount of time preparing it for you,” you huff, “I even asked Aoi-san for tips on getting the rice perfect.”

You generally avoid Aoi

Too bossy

“And you didn’t eat it,” you frown, “But oh let’s join Zenitsu and Inosuke for udon [y/n] even though you know I can’t tolerate them through an entire meal.”

Tanjirou’s crestfallen expression softens your frustration

He’s always trying

Trying so hard to include you, to introduce you

Not that you don’t know everyone

It’s just

They don’t know you

—They’ve never met the [y/n]

Who puts a pair of socks

Outside when it’s sunny

Rushing to find Tanjirou

Once they’re nice and toasty

Giggling as you get him

To sit down and take a break and enjoy the sunshine

Revealing the pair of socks

Insisting that you put them on for him

Clapping gleefully when he hums contentedly

“I always forget about how sore my feet are. Where would they be without you sweetheart?”

—Or the [y/n] who

Gently raps on his door

No matter that it’s hours after you

Should both be asleep

Because you just know

When he’s lying awake

Unwillingly replaying

The pooling of blood

And stench of he was too late

Beneath his loved ones

Unwilling to cry

Only able to

Clutch at his chest

With rough fingers

Until he hears your tap tap tap

“Tan, may I come in?”

He never says yes

Never says no

But he’s always grateful

For the quiet reassurance of your footsteps

Crossing the threshold from the hallway

Into his room

His body dipping toward you

As your weight sinks into his bed

Grounding scents of sleepy concern adoration

Wrapping him as tenderly as your arms

Kisses pressed soothingly along his shoulder blades

Red thawing to the

Familiar darkness of his room

Of his room with you in it

He is in his room

You are safe

Holding him

Already unconscious again

He is not too late

…

“I’m sorry Tan. I’m being petty. You’re so thoughtful. I do like udon,” you murmur

He shakes his head, slipping on a clean kimono

Opens his arms wordlessly

You scoot off his bed

And settle yourself against him

“Let’s eat udon tonight, Tan. I want to. I promise. With Zenitsu and Inosuke.”

“And I promise I ate the lunch you made for me,” he rests his hands on the small of your back. “It was so delicious I went to the kitchen for seconds,” he chuckles, “But then I got distracted and didn’t finish them.”

Your eyes widen

He had gotten distracted because you’d surprise tackled him

Ehh

Not exactly surprised

He’d smelled your excitement behind him

And had happily accepted your tackle

“You promise, promise?”

Tanjirou touches his lips to your forehead as the faint unease in your scent finally fades, “I promise, promise sweetheart. You’re wonderful.”

“You too Tan, you too…”

You snuggle deeper into him

“Love you Tan.”

“Love you more.”

[whiskeyncoke-redux]

Make Me

Sam Wilson x Reader

*a/n: Reposting this fic, hope y’all enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated.

Warnings: Smut, spanking, oral (m receiving) 18+ ONLY Minors DNI

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Make me.

Those two words were a challenge you had recently taken to giving your friend Sam. You loved the look he would get when you said it.

It started when you were hanging around his house teasing him out of boredom.

“Y/N, you’re being really annoying right now,” he had told you as you threw paper balls at him while he tried to work.

“Well, Samuel, I’m bored and it’s your problem now,” you told him, tossing more paper at him.

“Seriously, Y/N, stop,” he said, catching the paper.

Getting in his face, you said with a laugh, “Make me.”

You had seen a dark look cross his eyes that sent a shiver through you, but he didn’t do anything so you just laughed again, shrugging it off. But from that moment on, you started saying it more and more; just to see that look.

The time that really stuck in your mind though was when you were out with him and Bucky and Steve. Of course you were joking with him, you always did. Bucky was telling you about some mission or other where Sam had gotten kicked off a moving truck. You were of course horrified, but you put on a brave face because he was standing right there next to you, alive, well, and whole, rolling his eyes at Bucky who was laughing as he told the story.

“You should have seen his face,” Bucky laughed, trying to make the face he’d seen Sam do.

You laughed and turned to Sam, “Well, I’m glad you’re alright. That bird costume really does come in handy, huh?”

“Bird costume!?” Sam exclaimed, while Bucky and Steve fell over each other, laughing.

“Awww, Sammy I’m kidding, you know I love your pigeon suit!”

Sam sucked his teeth and made to walk away, but you grabbed his arm, trying to stop him.

“Hey, c’mon, relax man, I’m kidding.”

“You know what, you gotta chill with that.”

“You need to lighten up, so serious all the time.”

“You need to stop playing or…”

“Or what?”

He shook his head and tried to walk off again.

“Nope,” you said, grabbing on to his arm again. “Or what, Samuel?”

He didn’t say anything, he just stared at you with a slight frown on his face.

You smirked.  “That’s what I thought. You ain’t gonna do shit,” you turned back to Steve and Bucky, but Sam grabbed your arm, turning you to face him.

“Stop trying me, Y/N.”

“Hmph,” you huffed before saying your favorite comeback, “Make me.”

He jerked your arm, pulling you closer so he was in your face. “Keep saying that and one of these days I will.”

You grinned and stepped closer to him. “I absolutely look forward to that,” you told him with a wink, shaking his arm off and walking away.

Bucky and Steve, who had been standing there watching the whole exchange, watched you as you walked off then turned to Sam.

Bucky spoke first, “Call me crazy, but I think she wants you.”

Sam shook his head. “You’re crazy.”

“I dunno, man,” Steve piped in. “Seems like it to me.”

Sam didn’t comment, he just looked after you, thinking…

———-

Thinking about what his friends said over the next week, he had made up his mind to test their theory. He decided to throw a get together at his place. Since it was nice out, he made it a cookout so that everyone would be outside. When you got there, a little late, the party was in full swing. Everyone was hanging out, talking, eating, and dancing to the music that was pumping the big speakers Sam had placed around the yard. You waved at Steve who was playing at being the DJ. You then found Sam and Bucky and gave them both big hugs, then you went off to get something to eat and mingle.

After having a few conversations with Rhodey, Wanda, Peter, and a few others, you made your way over to Bucky who was standing at the grill, watching over some of the food and started a conversation with him. While in the middle of it, Sam came back with a tray for the food.

“Buck, whatever is finished, put it on here,” he told him, holding it as Bucky placed some burgers and hot dogs onto the tray.

You turned to him and said mockingly, “Rude, I was in the middle of telling him something.”

“You can still tell him,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “I’m just letting him know what to do.”

“Whatever, Sammy.”

“What did I tell you about calling me that?”

“I’ll call you whatever I want,” you said with a smirk. “I’ve put up with you this long, I’ve earned the right.”

Sam shook his head at Bucky, who seemed to be hyper focused on placing each piece of food extra carefully on the tray, not saying a word to either of you. He was used to this bickering, and he knew why you always started arguments.

“Don’t start, Y/N,” Sam warned. “Not here.”

Again you just said, “Whatever.”

Sam let out a frustrated breath, his nostril flaring. You knew that look, but you couldn’t help yourself, you just had to tease him.

“Don’t be huffing and puffing around me, like you’re gonna do something, we both know you won’t.”

“Here you go trying me again,” he said. “For the last time: stop.”

You stepped as close as you could to him. “And for the last time: Make. Me.”

Sam just stood there, glaring at you, his eyes getting dark, the tray of food in his hands.

“Like I thought, you ain’t gonna do shit,” you said with a sly grin, loving the reaction you were getting out of him.

Just then Nat called over to you and you walked off, throwing Sam another smirk over your shoulder as you made your way to her.

Bucky looked at his friend. “Look, I know you don’t believe me, but I’m telling you, she wants you. All this picking on you… it’s childish, but I know I’m right.”

Sam shot him a look.

Bucky shrugged. “She wants you to do something, so I say do it.”

It only took him a second before he made up his mind. Setting the tray down, Sam determinedly made his way over to where you were.

“I need to talk to Y/N for a minute. Excuse us,” he said to Nat before pulling you away by your arm.

“Sam, what are you…” you started.

“C’mon here.”

You planted your feet. “No, tell me what you want.”

He let out a frustrated groan, then, to your (and the people around you) surprise, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, and headed inside his house.

Nat looked over at Bucky who just shrugged at her, acting as if he didn’t know what was going on.

——–

Once inside, he carried  you into his room, shutting the door before putting you down. You were laughing because this was so out of the ordinary from the normally stoic and calm Sam you knew.

“Umm, what’s up with you?” you asked him, still laughing.

“I’m tired of you messin with me.”

“It’s just jokes, Sam, you gotta lighten up,” you told him, reaching for the door.

He stopped you.

“Sam, move. You had your fun, ha ha funny, now move.”

“I’m not joking with you,” he said, grabbing your arm and walking towards you, making you back up until you felt your back hit the wall.

When you were against the wall, he placed his free hand against it, trapping you. You looked up into his eyes, and you saw that dark, serious look in them you had seen many times before. That look that sent a shiver down your spine.

“Sam, what..?”

“Like I said, I’m tired of you teasing me. Now you keep telling me to make you stop, so I will.”

“And how are you…”

You didn’t get a chance to finish your question before you felt his lips on your in a rough kiss that took your breath away. Not breaking the kiss, he reached his hand up under the light dress you had on. You involuntarily moved your hips towards his hand, and in one fluid motion, he gripped your panties, ripping them off and throwing them to the floor.

“Fuck,” you exclaimed, pulling away when you felt the sting on your skin. You couldn’t deny it, that turned you on in a way that hadn’t happened before, but you tried to keep your attitude. “I liked those! Why’d you…”

He stopped you, kissing you again, sliding his tongue in your mouth while he slipped two of his thick fingers into your wet folds making you groan. You reached down, finding the top on his jeans and undoing them, pushing them down a bit, letting his dick spring free. He took his fingers from inside you and lifted you up again gripping the backs of your thighs, your back hitting the wall. In one swift thrust, you felt his dick enter you. Thicker than you had ever expected, you winced when you felt him stretch you as he slid inside.

He wrapped your legs around his waist as he began to thrust inside you, not giving you a chance to adjust to his size. You held on tightly to his shoulders as he started to move at an unforgiving pace, your back hitting the wall with every inward thrust, his grip on your thighs tightening. He attached his lips to your neck, sucking and biting it, you knew that there would be marks there.

“Fuck, Sammy,” you moaned out as he kept moving inside you.

He frowned slightly hearing that name, slowed to a stop, and backed up, still deep inside you, until the backs of his knees hit the bed, he then sat down, none too gently, making you wince again. His hands rubbed up and down your thighs, as you started to move on top of him, leaning your forehead against his. He kept rubbing your thighs, higher and higher until his hands were on your hips. Gripping them, he helped you move on top of him. When you had the pace he wanted, he then slid his hands around to your ass, rubbing it.

His lips found yours again, kissing you softly, making you smile. But that smile was soon replaced by a loud yelp of shock when you felt him smack your ass, hard, making you slow to a stop.

“Ah, what was that for?”

“For talkin all that shit,” he said, smacking your ass again with the same intensity.

You winced. “I-I was just playin.”

“Uh-huh,” he said with another hard spank. “Well, I told you to stop and you wouldn’t listen.”

“Sammy, I…”

Smack. “What did I tell you about calling me that?”

You didn’t say anything.

“Oh, so you can’t answer me?” he said, lifting you off of his dick. “You always have so much to say any other time.”

Before you knew it, you were laid across his lap, your dress pushed up, your bare ass exposed. He spanked you again, causing you to yelp.

“Now I said, what did I tell you about callin me that?”

“D-don’t do it.”

“Right. You ain’t gonna do it anymore, huh?”

Silence.

He spanked you hard again. “Answer me.”

“N-no,” you cried.

“No, what?”

When you didn’t answer again, you were met with yet another hard smack.

“I said, no, what? You know what I wanna hear,” he spanked you again. “So say it.”

“Daddy,” you gasped. “No, daddy. I won’t do it anymore.”

“Good, girl,” he said, sitting you up and pushing you back onto the bed, making you wince when your ass hit the comforter. He loomed above you, sliding his pants down and kicking them off. “Now let’s see what we can do about that attitude.”

“I…” he cut you off, as he knelt on the bed and grabbed your legs, spreading them apart and entering you again. “Fuck, daddy.”

“Mmmhmm,” he hummed as he fucked into you hard, his hands gripping your waist. “Bet you won’t talk all that shit now.”

“N-no,” you moaned. “I won’t.”

“You just need to have that attitude fucked out of you. Don’t you?”

“Y-yes, daddy shit, yes!” your groans becoming louder as he angled his hips, hitting your spot. “Right there, daddy.”

You had almost forgotten the party going on outside, until you heard the music that was playing outside come to a momentary stop. You didn’t think much of it, until Sam hit your spot again, making you scream. After that you heard it turn back on, louder this time.

The party and people outside (who you were sure could hear you) were pushed out of your mind when he slid his hands up to your back, lifting you up, his hands holding you tight as he moved you up and down on his dick. You gripped his shoulders, holding on to him. You leaned forward and kissed him, moaning into his mouth.

He lifted you off of him, turning you over and sliding in from behind. Gripping your hips and pounding into you. You buried your head in the bed, trying to smother your moans.

“Uh-uh, don’t get quiet now,” Sam grunted. “Let them hear you. Let them hear what daddy’s doing to you.”

You lifted your head, letting out another loud moan. “Fuck, daddy, don’t stop.”

You heard the music outside get a little louder.

“That’s my good girl, fuck, you feel so good. Goddamn, so fucking good.”

You felt him stop and smack you ass once more, not as hard this time, signaling you to keep moving. You planted your hands on the bed and started throwing your ass back on him, fucking yourself on his dick. You felt his hands rub up and down your back as you kept moving against him. He then slid his hands around to your front, pulling you up against his chest. You rested your hands on his thick thighs, gripping them to keep yourself steady. One of his hands moved up to fondle your breasts through your dress while the other went down to rub on your clit.

“C’mon, baby, cum for daddy.”

“I’m so close,” you moaned. “So-so close.”

You soon felt your orgasm creeping up on you. He started kissing and biting on your neck as you moved against him, his hands still working their magic on you. You felt your body tense up as your orgasm built up, spreading from your core, to your toes, making them curl, to the tips of your fingers, digging into the skin of his thighs. You came with a loud shout, your pussy clenching around his dick, your body jerking forward. Sam kept a tight hold on you as you rode it out.

When your breathing evened out, he let you go, slipping out of you and climbing off the bed. Stroking himself.

“You okay?”

You nodded. “Yes, daddy.”

“Good, cuz I’m not finished with you yet,” he grinned. “C’mere.”

You got off the bed, a little shakily, and looked at him.

“Get on your knees,” he commanded.

Obediently, you knelt in front of him and took his dick in your hand. You stroked it a little, marveling at the feel of it: thick and heavy, with prominent veins.

“Go on.”

You licked around the head, then slid your tongue along the length of it, making sure you got it nice and wet. When you heard him take in a sharp breath, you wrapped your lips around the head and started sucking on it. You took it in your mouth, inch by inch, until you couldn’t fit anymore. You wrapped your hand around the bit you couldn’t fit and started stroking him in time with the movements of your mouth. He began moving his hips along with you. You held your head still and let him fuck himself into your mouth. You held onto his thighs as he started moving faster, pushing his dick almost all the way in, making you gag.

“Mmm, so good,” he murmured from above you. “Letting daddy fuck your mouth like this. Such a good girl.”

You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes and saliva drip from your lips as he kept fucking your mouth, but you didn’t pull away. Soon you felt his legs start to tremble as the movements of his hips became erratic.

“Shit, goddamn,” you heard him curse as you felt him release warm ropes of cum in your mouth.

You swallowed as much as you could before letting him fall out of your mouth. You then licked up any you missed from his dick, looking up at him as you did. He smiled down at you, when you finished.

“Good girl,” he said again, helping you up. “Now, go get cleaned up so we can go back out.”

You nodded and made your way to the bathroom. You grabbed a cloth and ran it under some warm water. You cleaned yourself up as best you could. Wiping your face and straightening your dress that was bunched up around your waist. You ran your fingers through your hair. Looking in the mirror, you deemed yourself presentable, then headed back out into his room, where he had put back on his pants and was waiting for you.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

“Uh-uh, you know better,” he said, placing a hand on your hip and sliding it around to your ass.

You smiled. “Yes, daddy.”

“Good,” he said, kissing you with a smile. “Let’s go.”

When you headed back outside, a few people avoided making eye contact with either of you, smirking in their drinks. You knew they’d heard you; you didn’t care though. You walked slowly back over to Nat, limping slightly, picking up the conversation you were having earlier, as if nothing had interrupted you.

Over on the other side of the yard, Bucky and Steve were talking with Sam.

“So,” Bucky said. “Was I right?”

“Yeah, yeah, you were right.”

“Do you think she’ll stop now?” Steve asked. “You know picking on you, because, and no offense, it is kinda funny.”

Sam looked over to where you were and with a smirk you rolled your eyes at him.

“I almost kinda hope not,” Sam laughed. “It’s gonna be fun trying to get that attitude out of her.”