#kidney stone pain
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My experience with kidney stones
I want to tell you about my experience having a kidney stone, so that if it happens to you one day, you will know exactly what it is and if you need to go to the hospital or not. I experienced having one, about 2 years ago. I do not wish this pain on my worst enemy. The pain is absolutely excruciating. It is very painful, in fact it was so painful that now, i am paranoid every single time that i…
#bladder infection#bladder pain#blog#extreme pain#infection#kidney#kidney stone#Kidney stone pain#kidney stones#medicine#post#Salt#sharp pain#Sodium#Urinary tract infection#UTI
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Comprehensive Guide To Kidney Stones, Its Symptoms & Treatment at Livlong
Get details on kidney stones that can cause significant discomfort & might require surgery to remove it. Understand what nephrolithiasis is, its types, symptoms, treatment & diagnosis at Livlong.
#kidney stones#types of kidney stones#kidney stone pain#kidney stone removal#renal calculi#nephrolithiasis
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Comprehensive Guide To Kidney Stones, Its Symptoms & Treatment at Livlong
Get details on renal calculi that can cause significant discomfort & might require surgery to remove it. Understand what nephrolithiasis is, its types, symptoms, treatment & diagnosis at Livlong.
#kidney stones#types of kidney stones#kidney stone pain#kidney stone removal#renal calculi#nephrolithiasis
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Relieving Kidney Stone Pain: A Guide to Instant Relief
Kidney stones can be incredibly painful and disruptive to your daily life. If you're experiencing kidney stone pain, you're likely looking for ways to get relief as quickly as possible. Here's a guide to some of the best ways to find instant relief from kidney stone pain:
Drink plenty of water: Staying hydrated is key to preventing and relieving kidney stone pain. Drinking at least 8-10 glasses of water per day can help flush out the stones and reduce pain.
Use over-the-counter pain medication: Medications like ibuprofen and acetaminophen can help relieve the pain and discomfort associated with kidney stones. Be sure to follow the recommended dosage and consult with your doctor if you have any questions.
Apply a heating pad or take a warm bath: Applying heat to the lower back can help relax the muscles and reduce pain. Taking a warm bath or using a heating pad can provide instant relief.
Use natural remedies: Some natural remedies, such as chamomile tea and dandelion root, may help reduce pain and inflammation associated with kidney stones. Consult with a healthcare professional before using any natural remedy.
Pass the stone: If you are able to pass the stone, it can bring significant relief from the pain. Drinking a lot of water and taking over-the-counter pain medication can help make passing the stone easier.
#Kidney stone#kidney stone pain#kidney stone pain relief#Relieving Kidney Stone Pain#instant kidney stone pain relief
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Does Kidney Stone Pain Usually Happen in Your Lower Back and Sides?
Why does a kidney stone occur?
Kidney stones form when the minerals and other chemicals in your urine, such as calcium, oxalate, and uric acid, combine to form crystals.
Crystals combine to make one or more stones. Stones form when your urine lacks the necessary moisture and other elements to keep them from forming.
A kidney stone can be as tiny as a grain of sand, and you can pass it without even knowing, but a bigger one can block your urine flow and hurt a lot.
Variety of factors plays a role, including what you eat and certain medications. You are more prone to get kidney stones if you or someone in your family has had them.
But, if all you’ve heard about kidney stones is how painful they are, how can you tell if your pain is caused by a kidney stone?
The pain is commonly referred to as renal colic. Most patients report that the pain begins suddenly and intensifies over time, or that it subsides and reappears after a few minutes. The pain may fluctuate in intensity from time to time. A person usually does not notice the symptoms of a kidney stone until it passes from the kidney into the ureter, which is the tube that transports urine from the kidney to the bladder.
Where does kidney stone pain hurt?
A kidney stone does not usually produce symptoms until it moves about within the kidney or enters one of the ureters.
If a kidney stone becomes trapped in the ureters, it can obstruct urine flow and cause the kidney to enlarge and the ureter to spasm, both of which can be quite painful.
The size of the stone may not affect the degree of the discomfort. These differences are caused by the stone’s transit through the urinary system. The ureter tries to push the lodged stone towards the bladder, causing intense abdominal agony. If the stones are in the urinary bladder, you may experience pain in the lower abdomen. Men get pain in their testicles and scrotum.
Sharp pain in the side and back, directly behind the ribs
Radiating pain to the lower abdomen and groyne
Pain that comes in waves with
You may feel pain or a burning feeling while urinating.
Among the signs and symptoms are:
Urine that is pink, red, or brown
Urine that is cloudy or odorous
A constant desire to urinate, urinating more frequently than normal, or urinating in little amounts
Vomiting and nausea
If you have an infection, you may experience fever and chills.
The pain associated with a kidney stone is often noticed after it has developed and is moving through your urinary tract,” Dr. Kannady explains.” Furthermore, because of anatomical differences, men and women describe kidney stone pain significantly differently”. Not to mention that pain is relative, with everyone having a different pain threshold.
It is critical to visit your doctor whenever you are in discomfort. However, if you are suffering discomfort, even if it is mild, in conjunction with other symptoms, you should consult a doctor.
How long do the symptoms of kidney stones last?
As previously stated, the duration of these symptoms might range from a week to a month and beyond. Even if you believe your kidney stone pain has faded, it is critical to contact your doctor because occasional pain is frequent with this illness.
Get kidney stone treatment
We can assist you whether this is your first kidney stone or you have had recurring stones for many years. To get the immediate and long-term kidney stone relief you deserve. During testing, Kidney C.O.P.® was proven to reduce and inhibit the growth and formation of calcium oxalate crystals. Talk to us today!
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The stones in my kidneys:
My longitudinal ureter muscles:
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if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, then i’ll follow you into the dark [chapter 1/?]
hayakawa aki × shy fiend f!reader
-> safe for work (for now) // 4.9k words // AO3. -> warnings: smoking, blood, cheesy, friendship, romance, discrimination, fluff, angst, pining that may or may not be mutual, soft aki, protective aki, eventual smut, eventual romance, canon divergent, fic will get into darker topics as the story progresses but i'll update the warnings as i go, chainsaw man part 1 spoilers.
Devil hunters use devils to kill devils.
The irony was never lost on you. This was a use or get used world, after all.
In the distance, your ears picked up the sounds of a fight. Explosions, rubble falling, metal crunching. It sounded far enough away for you not to worry about closing the convenience store early (not that your boss would’ve let you), but it was still close enough for you to stay alert as you stood on a flipped milk crate, stocking the fridge. The situation seemed to have settled by the time you finished and you allowed yourself to relax.
You were behind the counter reading a romance novel when the smell of dust and blood assaulted your nose, making you look up at the source. The sliding doors let out a melodic chime as a tall man with a top knot dressed in a black suit entered the store, walking straight for the freezers in the back. Your eyes stayed glued to the sword strapped to his back until he was no longer visible from where you stood.
You took a sip from your water bottle before returning your attention back to the book in front of you. Two pages later, you realize you weren’t actually processing the words on the page and, with a sigh, you flip back to try again. You struggled reading the same paragraph over and over until the sound of aluminum cans clanking against the counter top startled you. The man with a top knot (with a sword strapped to his back) had placed canned coffees and an apple in front of you.
“Cigarettes, too.”
Before he could finish pulling out his wallet, you set a white box down on the counter between the two of you. He stared down at the box of Mevius One KS cigarettes with a furrow in his brow and his eyes moved to meet your own.
“I-I have a good nose.” You anxiously look away from him and quickly scan his items, placing them neatly in a plastic bag. “That’ll be ¥4,570.74.”
The man eyed you for a moment, as if studying you, then pulled out his card to insert it into the machine until he noticed a sign with messy handwriting stating that the card machine was out of order. He returned his card back into it’s place in his wallet before pulling out cash and placing it into your outreached hand, his cold fingers brushing against yours as he did so.
“You’re good,” he says quietly.
You suck in a breath at his comment and nod, feeling unsure of how else to respond so you simply thank him for shopping at the convenience store and to have a nice day. You watch his dark form disappear down the street before letting out a sigh of relief as you adjusted the crochet beanie on your head.
+
Two or three times a week, he would come in to buy canned coffee and cigarettes. The two of you never spoke much beyond pleasantries. (“hello,” “good afternoon,” “have a nice day,” “you too.”)
Currently, he was in the back of the store by the freezers. You tried to keep your attention on your book as you absent-mindedly fidgeted with the sleeve of your over-sized cardigan.
It had been a few short months since you started working here, since you first noticed him. The convenience store wasn’t the closest one to the Public Safety office in Tokyo, but it was still frequented daily by people who worked there, including other devil hunters.
Every now and then you’d stop seeing a face come by the shop and determined that they must have been killed on the job. It wasn’t a secret that devil hunters didn’t have very long lifespans, it was the nature of the job. However, you recently found yourself feeling relieved whenever he stepped over the threshold of the sliding glass doors and greeted you in return.
You weren’t entirely sure why you felt that way. He was obviously attractive, though you doubted that was reason for your feelings.
Still, relieved as you may be, you found it difficult to focus whenever the two of you shared the same four walls.
To you, devils had an acrid smell. The stronger the devil, the more offensive the smell was. You were sure the devil hunter was human, but the scents that lingered on him were the strongest you had smelled in quite a while. The smell was stronger on him than it was on most of the devil hunters you encountered.
He must have worked closely with strong devils and the thought of that frightened you. You once heard a group of devil hunters mention a special division in Public Safety that made devils work for them without free will.
You cautiously cast glance his way as he flipped through a magazine, and you wondered if this devil hunter (your devil hunter) was involved with something as awful as that.
+
By now, he must have noticed the way you always avoided eye contact with him. You're sure of it.
You try to read but you simply could not focus and you found yourself looking in his direction every few minutes. He walked around the shop, aimlessly browsing, rather than going straight for what he came for like he usually did. You’re tempted by the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him, to get to know him a little (for better or worse), but you bite your tongue.
You wouldn’t know what to say. The majority of your social skills were learnt through reading books.
You notice that sometimes, when the store gets empty, he stares at you for a few moments, as if he wants to say something, before thinking better of it and exiting the store, leaving you to watch him from behind.
+
You felt your hands shaking more than they usually did whenever he was around. You hoped he didn't notice, though when you looked up at him, you could see him watching you. Your eyes briefly look over at the sword on his back before returning your attention back to the monitor and reading him his total.
You took his money and shakily hand him the receipt, which he takes. You quickly look away and feel his lingering gaze, followed by the small intake of breath. You get the impression that he's about to say something.
You do your best to look busy organizing your space behind the counter. Your hands were trembling, causing you to knock over a candy display. Rolls of mints clattered around your boots and you bend over to pick them up.
You hear the chiming of the sliding doors as they opened and closed and you peeked over the counter to see that he was gone.
+
A few days later, you’re stocking the freezer with drinks. Despite wearing your cardigan and beanie, you shivered as you struggled to reach the top shelves. You forgot to grab the milk crate from behind the counter to help you reach higher, but with the devil hunter in the store earlier than usual, you decided to quickly wrap up stocking so that you could get back to the counter.
Large, pale hands grasp the can from your hand, making you flinch in surprise. You look over your shoulder and see the devil hunter helping you place the remaining drinks on the top shelf. You swallow hard and avert your eyes from him.
“Thank you...” He nodded then went on his way to continued his shopping. You walk back to the register to wait for him. You felt his gaze on you but you didn’t dare look up away from the register you were pretending to clean. Your head hurt from overthinking.
You checked out his items when he brought them over to you, faster than you usually did. You were eager for him to leave so that you could focus on anything other than him right now.
"A box of Mevius One KS, please."
You were too distracted with your own thoughts that you forgot to give him his cigarettes. You apologize and turn in a hurry to reach for them on the shelf, stepping onto the milk crate, but in your haste you lost your balance. You yelped as you fell onto the cold tile, boxes of cigarettes raining down on your head.
The next thing you knew, he’s behind the counter kneeling beside you, scanning you for any injuries before returning his gaze to yours.
“Are you okay?”
You couldn’t help but notice the concern in his voice. It was a stark contrast to the stoicism he usually exuded whenever he was in the store.
You nod, feeling your cheeks heat up with embarrassment as you looked up at him. You look away again, sitting up despite your butt aching from the fall. You ran a nervous hand through your hair and realized your beanie had fallen off and the devil hunter was staring—right at the pair of fluffy ears on your head.
“You’re…” he pauses, looking at you in a way that was hard to read.
You panicked. You grabbed your beanie from the floor, clumsily hopped over the counter, knocking over the candy display in the process as you ran out of the store.
“Wait! Come back!”
He continued to call out after you, his voice growing more and more distant until you could no longer make out the individual words. Your feet feel like they’re going to give out from underneath you as you sprint along the sidewalk hoping to never see him away.
+
The following day was your day off, but your boss called you in. He fired you for leaving the store unattended and withheld your final paycheck. When you timidly tried to stand up for yourself, telling him that he couldn’t do that, he said he could because you had no human rights as a fiend.
There was nothing you could do about it.
You managed to find another job in a grocery store on the other side of town. It was farther away from your home, but safer since it lessened the risk of running into the same devil hunter again.
A few weeks later, you were working the register when you recognized his scent. Your eyes widened in horror when you realized he had found you. The two of you stared at each other.
His expression was stern and focused. There’s no trace of the gentleness he’d shown last time. A depressing reminder that this man wasn’t just a man and you weren’t just a woman.
He was here to kill you, or worse.
You were frozen in place. It’s only when he begins to approach you that you remember to breathe. You trembled fearfully as he stood in front of you.
“Hey—”
“P-Please don’t hurt me,” you sputtered out from behind the register.
His expression softens, but his eyes are steady, resolute. You can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s trying to convey some sort of message to you.
“I’m not going to kill you, don’t worry,” he replies calmly. “I’m not here to harm you in any way.”
"But you're a devil hunter... are you here to capture me and force me to work for Public Safety?"
"No."
You don’t believe him and flinch away when he pulls something from his inner suit pocket.
An envelope.
"I realized you were probably scared of being hunted, so I didn’t chase you. I went looking for you back at the convenience store the next day. Your boss said you were fired. I found out he illegally withheld your final paycheck, so I've been searching for you to return it."
Your brows furrow as he places the envelope on the counter. You weren't sure if you could trust him or not. His eyes never left your face as you looked down at the envelope then back up at him. You're not sure what to say or do, but his quiet, patient composure is a stark contrast to his intimidating presence earlier.
He gestures towards the envelope. “You can open it. I’m not trying to force you to join Public Safety. I’m simply making sure you get what’s rightfully yours. You can’t exactly sue him.”
The fact that he seemed so confident that this was going to change everything, that you're going to trust him, sends your brain into overdrive. You don't know what to do.
“Open it," he says quietly. Gently.
You hesitantly reach for the envelope and open it, finding the money your former boss denied you of. You expect him to demand something from you in return, but he quietly walked out of the store.
+
A couple of weeks later, you pick up his scent again as you’re stacking a table with cans on sale. You noticed he was accompanied by two others with inhuman scents. Both strong and familiar smells that you’ve smelled on him in the past. Devils. In the grocery store? Their casual-wear made it seem like they weren’t on official business and based on the way they were acting, the three of them seemed close.
You were nearly finished with stacking the can display, when the devils accidentally ran their cart into the table, knocking over the cans. The devil hunter turned at the sound and came over.
You’re on your knees, picking up cans and placing them back on the table to get them off the floor. The devils snickered, until the devil hunter scolded them.
"Can you two knock it off and help pick those up?"
For some reason that makes you feel embarrassed and you tell him that it’s okay. “It was an accident. Don’t worry, it’s my job to do this...”
His gaze meets yours.
“Hey," he says quietly as he approaches the knocked over cans. After taking a quick glance at you, he begins to clean up the mess while the devils continued to bicker and argue as they stacked, making a competition out of it. The way they carried themselves, like bickering siblings. Not that you would know personally, but it reminded you of siblings in the stories you’ve read. You were wondering how old they were when you realized just how tall the devil hunter actually is; he seems to dwarf the other two.
"Are you alright?" He asked, looking at the fallen cans lying on the floor. You could feel his eyes on you, looking over you as though checking to see any sign of injuries. You sneak a peek at him, noticing his eyes glancing at the beanie on your head. The beanie that covered your devil ears.
You nod, your timid and nervous nature getting in the way of the moment. He scolds the others and eventually gives them the task of doing the rest of the shopping and offering them a snack reward. They run off excitedly with the cart as he helped you stack the cans. The two of you worked quietly.
He continued helping you for a bit longer, his presence soothing rather than intimidating like before. Then, once you finish stacking the cans on the shelf, he steps back for a moment as though hesitating.
You glance at him nervously, nodding as you chewed on your bottom lip. You wondered if it’d be rude to walk away right now. Probably.
"Are you busy after work?"
Your eyes widen, and you can feel your heart beginning to beat faster. You can hear the others laughing in the distance, clearly not paying attention to the conversation taking place.
"Yes," you lied.
He made a face, as if he could easily tell that you had just lied from your tone and nervous body language, but nodded anyways. He offered to buy you something to eat as an apology for the cans and for being the reason you lost your previous job at the convenience store.
"Will I... owe you?"
"No."
You weren’t sure whether or not you should trust him. So far, he seemed to have your best interests in mind, though you knew that could also be a trick. You decided to take a leap of faith.
"Apples. I like apples."
His expression remained stoic and you felt vulnerable under his watchful gaze. People who knew you were not human treated you differently, saw you differently. To them, you felt invisible and disposable. Like something to be used and tossed away when it became too much trouble. The way this devil hunter looked at you now was different than how he used to look at you when he thought you were a human like him, but it also didn’t feel like he thought of you as something less than him. The way he was looking at you right now made you feel like your heart was in your throat. You try to swallow it back down.
“Apples?” He gives a small nod. "Then I'll buy you some.”
+
He buys you a bag of apples.
It becomes routine.
Whenever he stops by the grocery store, he would leave you with a bag of apples.
It was the kindest thing a human had ever done for you.
You craved speaking with him, not really getting much positive attention from others. You felt lonely and wondered if he could tell. You didn't trust humans but you wanted to trust him. You really wanted to trust him.
So, you tried talking to him a little bit. It was awkward and you were as clumsy with your words as you were with your body but in a few months, the two of you were able to have casual small talk. You were so happy to be able to joke with him, even just a little bit.
Your relationship with him grew over time with these simple interactions, these little moments of kindness that he showed you.
This is a stark contrast to the way devil hunters and civilians had treated you in the past. Their disdain for devils would get in the way of your interactions, but you didn’t have that problem with your devil hunter. Seeing him with his devil friends gave you hope.
You looked forward to his visits. His presence is a quiet one. He doesn't expect anything from you, nor does he ask much about you yet here you are, talking almost like... friends.
"Th-Thank you, Mr. Hayakawa." You speak his name for the first time, a bit timidly. You learned it a couple of months ago when he asked to be signed up for the grocery store’s rewards program, but you never said it out loud until now. He had just bought you apples again and you wanted to thank him.
His expression was as gentle as his voice. "Just Aki is fine."
The way he holds himself seems to have loosened up considerably. His shoulders, once stiff and tense, now hang loosely by his sides. He no longer seems quite as intimidating. And you're not sure how exactly, but it almost seems as if his presence becomes... softer.
You nod, feeling your face heat up. "Sorry, th-thank you, Mr. A-Aki..!"
You can't tell if there's a small hint of amusement in his eyes, but then again, he's hard to read.
"Why 'Mr. Aki'?" He asks you curiously.
"Did I say something wrong? Would you prefer a different title?" You nervously fiddle with your fingers.
His eyebrows knit together slightly, as though thinking. “It’s not really needed, I guess. You don't need to call me by any title or honorific. Aki's enough..." He trails off.
"O-Okay... A-Aki..."
You felt your face heat even more from being allowed to refer to him so informally. You have never spoken someone's name so casually before. You distract yourself by stiffly scanning the rest of his items.
He eyes the bag of apples sitting at the end of the register’s moving belt. "Did you want anything else?" He asks, his eyes looking back to you. Your eyes widen and you shake your head furiously, knocking your beanie off balance, slightly revealing the bottom of one of your fluffy ears. Aki eyes it, wondering if you’d notice it in time to fix it before anyone else saw it.
"No, no I'm okay! Really! The apples are good. I love apples. I-I... Thank you, Aki."
"Are you sure?" He asks and from the way his eyes were staring at your cheeks you knew he was aware you were feeling very flustered right now.
Aki’s eyes return to your visible ear. You were beginning to feel self-conscious when he leaned over the counter of the register and adjusted your beanie. “Your ear was showing. Sorry.”
You flinched at the sudden contact and as he pulled away, you grabbed his wrists without thinking. You hold onto him for a moment.
The air around you seems to heat up slightly, the intensity of your gaze rather palpable. You feel a shiver run down your spine at the closeness of the situation and notice his eyebrow raising in confusion. He seemed a little surprised by how close you are to him, but he doesn't back away. The sound of someone sneezing snapped you out of your daze and you released him.
You back away from the register, avoiding his eyes and mumbling a series of apologies before making up some excuse about needing to unclog a toilet.
(Aki watched you run off towards the back. He could still feel the warmth of your hands around his wrists as he left the store).
+
The next few times Aki went to the store, you weren’t around. He asks the manager about you and she said that you took a few weeks off.
Aki wondered why and if it had anything to do with what happened.
+
As the days passed, his curiosity over why you weren’t around grew. He doesn’t know if your last encounter with him had anything to do with that, but he hoped that it didn’t.
Your absence brought about a certain sense of loneliness, and though he’s never admitted it to himself, he starts to miss you and the moments that you’d shared with one another.
+
You return a month later, avoiding Aki's eyes as you scanned his items. You were quiet today.
As you return to your old routine, you feel Aki’s eyes trailing you. He keeps to himself and gives you space, but he’s still observant as you worked. Something had changed in your demeanor. You're being polite but distant, keeping your distance from him and not speaking unless absolutely necessary. You’re not like yourself at all. He doesn’t know why and it makes his curiosity grow even more.
"Is something wrong?" He leans forward a bit, wondering if he'd done something wrong.
"No..." You say quietly as you handed him his change, careful not to touch him.
The way that you speak makes him certain that there is something wrong; he's known you long enough to tell. Your avoidance is what catches his attention however.
You bag his items and another customer sets their items down on the belt for you to scan. There are plenty of people lining up behind Aki, so you turn your attention to the next customer as you bag his items.
“Is this about me?” He asks, once the customers have cleared the line-up. He’d been watching you interact with the other customers and noticed that you weren't behaving this way with them. Only with him.
"Yes," you say hesitantly, "But you didn't do anything wrong. It's me that's the problem..." Your face burns red. "Please don't worry about it."
"Well, now you've got me worried," he replies, his usual stoic expression giving way to genuine concern. "You've been acting a bit strange. Like something happened."
"It-It doesn't feel appropriate to say, so I'd really rather we didn't get into it." You say as you fiddled with your fingers. "It's nothing worth worrying about. Nothing bad happened and I don't think ill of you, Mr- I mean, Aki."
If he wasn’t so worried, he would've quietly laughed at your little slip up. Aki watches you as you fiddle with your fingers, a bit more concerned now. He doesn’t like not being able to figure out what’s been on your mind this entire time.
You’re keeping things vague, and it’s driving him crazy.
"So, this has nothing to do with our last interaction?" he asks you, genuinely curious.
Your face reddens even more, "It... it may have something to do with that..." You look at the clock on the wall before timidly looking at Aki. "If it's okay with you, can we talk about it after my shift ends in 20 minutes..?"
He nods, still trying not to let any emotion appear on his face.
"That’s fine. I'll be waiting for you outside if that’s okay.”
+
Fifty minutes later, you run outside, panting heavily.
"S-Sorry for taking so long. You didn't have to wait." Your hands squeezed at the strap of your cross body bag.
"I don't mind," he tells you. You notice the way his eyes scan your face, as if he's looking for something in particular. Like he's trying to figure something out. "Are you okay?"
"I'll be okay. Thank you, Aki." You chew on your bottom lip as you look at him. It all suddenly feels too real and you look down at the ground again. "I-I'm not being weird because you did something wrong. I've been acting strangely because I've recently realized my... my feelings. I'm sorry." You say quietly.
"Ah..." Aki replies softly, his attention glued to you as you nervously chew on your lip. "Can I ask you something?"
You nod. (In your head, you were mentally preparing for him to tell you to work at a different store so that he never has to see your devil face ever again.)
"You said that you've recently realized your feelings, but..." he pauses. "How long have you actually liked me?" There's a teasing smile playing on his lips.
Your ears perk up on your head, shifting your beanie slightly. "Not long! I swear, I promise it's only recent. It wasn't until I went home after the last time I saw you, when you were fixing my hat, that I realized there might be some feelings from my end. I promise I had no ulterior motives during the last ten months."
"Just how recent are we talking?"
"...Actually, maybe I did have an ulterior motive. No, not maybe. I did have one."
Your ears moved under the beanie, knocking it off of your head. Your ears lay flat against your head, like if you did something wrong.
“Really?” Aki raises an eyebrow, "What was your ulterior motive?"
"I…” You spoke quietly while staring down at his shoes. “I wanted to be your friend."
There’s a long moment of silence.
“...That’s an ulterior motive?” he asks, a hint of amusement returning to his voice. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
"Of course it is..! It was something I wanted that you didn't know I wanted. That's the definition, right?" Your face is red and your ears twitch but remain flat. "You were always so kind to me and whenever I saw you and Power and Denji behaving so familiar with each other I-I wanted that too." Your voice cracked and your eyes welled with tears.
Aki’s kindness meant the world to you and you wanted to be a part of his world, too.
He picked your beanie up off of the ground and dusted it off before placing it back on your head, carefully covering your ears for you.
“It is technically an ulterior motive,” Aki admits. He looks away from your eyes, to the ground between the two of you. “Is that really the main reason you kept talking to me?”
You nodded while trying to make yourself look at his face,
"I like you, in both senses of the word, but the platonic meaning is what I value the most. You've treated me with kindness and patience, even when I pretended to act like I was bad at my job just so I could have a few extra seconds of time with you."
Aki's expression softens.
“Do you want to come over my place for dinner?”
“Huh!?” Your eyes nearly pop out of your head at his sudden question, “Where did that come from?”
“Denji and Power will be there, too...” He trailed off.
“No, it’s okay. Thank you for the offer, though. I appreciate it but I don’t want to impose.”
“You won’t be imposing.”
He walks you to his car and when he unlocks it, you open the door to the backseat. He says you could sit up front if you wanted to. So you do. He helps secure your seat belt since you weren’t doing it quite right.
“Sorry. I’ve never used a seat belt before.”
“Never?” He asks as he maneuvers the car around the parking lot.
“Never.”
He stops, waiting for a chance to safely enter the street and takes that moment to glance at you from the corner of his eye. “You can open the window, if you want.”
Your ears perk up, pushing the beanie off of your head and onto your lap. Aki tells you which button to press and soon enough, your window was all the way down.
“Thank you, Aki.”
He nods, making a noise of acknowledgment as he turned the car onto the street. You stuck your head out the window to feel the wind whipping at your grinning face. And as Aki drove the two of you to his home, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t mind getting used to this.
#aki hayakawa x reader#hayakawa aki x reader#aki x reader#chainsaw man#aki hayakawa#hayakawa x reader#csm#fiend reader#reader insert#reader-insert#aki hayakawa x y/n#aki hayakawa x you#aki x you#aki x y/n#i hope i tagged it well enough sorry if you see this w/o wanting to#lots of mistakes but that's okay it's almost 6am i did my 11/11 post#will not be posting colour theory pt. 3 sonata chapter 1 today sowwyyy#trust me i'm trying to work on it and i have had the general story noted down but i'm having issues#i need to redo my notes bc i've made a lot of changes over the past year and a half and i need to be sure i have all the details and dates#correct or else i will explode#this was supposed to be one of my halloween posts but my tummy pains ended up being a kidney stone :(#still in pain but at least i have meds and i'm not getting nausea just from reading#csm x reader#csm x you#csm x y/n#chainsaw man x reader#if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks then i’ll follow you into the dark#this may be my only csm/aki fic idk i don't really have plans for any more and it's been a year since i wrote the og version of this#it will be at least 20 chapters i think#i hope
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People with chronic pain i.e. me: eh, I'm just gonna ignore this giant stabbing pain in me cuz it's inconvenient to be happening now
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a friendly giant tries to gently approach tiny me but they don’t know i accidentally lapsed on my antidepressants for a week and i just start biting the shit out of their hand the second its in reach like fucking shredding that thing im like a two inch bundle of knives and claws and i know a rage only held by people who realize they’re acting unmedicated but cannot restrain it. bc of the being unmedicated. get bit idiot.
#im not tagging this lmfao#im okay!! i will be okay. when i had that cvs flare a week or two ago i couldnt take my meds the whole time#and i am back on my meds!!!!!!! HOWEVER. THEY HAVENT KICKED IN YET#its so fast to detox from these bitches but it takes a month or two of taking them to feel the full effect#so like. i know ill be okay! but my brain is a bag of cats rn. idk how i used to live like this. just rawdogging life#girl the mental illness is mental illnessing#also like. my brain meds help my fibro. so ive been exhausted and my joint pains been soooo way worse#and im having weird back pain that could be the fibro or could be the kidney stones coming back!!#again i am okay and medicated and talking w my doctors. ill be fine#BUT ALSO GOTDAM. WHAT A TIME IN MY BODY RN.
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cheyenne has aged into an adult and gained a new haircut to better fit her Professional vibe
#ts3#sixbob gen1#sixbob lepacy#yall aging up cheyenne was a nightmare i went to edit her in cas but exited out and then the whole screen was blue and i couldnt do anythin#but i hadnt saved the whole time so u know what i did. saved. even with the blue screen. omg i felt so dumb#i shouldve just replayed everything but i was in the midst of a bunch of pain cause i had a kidney stone and just wanted to lay back down 😔#anyway saved and exited. came back. still blue. cleared my caches and cleaned the saved. oh my goodness the relief when everything was okay#actually got soo lucky there cause if i had to start a new lepacy AGAIN i wouldve just deleted my whole blog LMAOOOOOO#so thats why she only got a hair makeover 👎
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THANKS FOR SENDING THIS TO ME WHILE I WAS IN THE ER BRO
#chitter chatter#the-gaping-wound-of-christ#guy who just got back from the hospital bc he had the most unbearable back pain of his life#and turns out it was two kidney stones 🙏 incredible
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I fucking swear, if I see another person say that an explicitly bi/pansexual character is "gay-coded" or "straight-coded", I'm going to yartz.
Just straight up hurl.
Perhaps even spew.
Or retch. Disgorge. Upchuck. Yarf. Etc. You get the picture.
#taking the term “(blank)-coded” from you all and putting it on the top shelf until you learn how to play with it#squirrel speaks#sometimes I'm in so much pain looking at my recommended posts that it feels like I'm going to pass a fucking kidney stone but in my soul#yes i know i keep harping on this but GOD we've been through this so many times.#“haha he's yearning he's so gay-coded” FOR YEARNING?!?????????#THAT'S YOUR REASON FOR BIPHOBIA. THAT HE'S YEARNING. HATRED UPON YE; CONTEMPTIBLE WRETCH#don't make me come over there and wag my finger at you#UGH ignore me I'm venting carry on carry on
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DAD UPDATE ! It’s only kidney stone AND he won’t have to get an operation 🙌
#the pain will disapear soon I just hope it will be really soon :’)#it sucks really bad it’s not fun my cousin had so many kidney stone in his life and it’s horrible#but at least it seem to be at the begining so it will leave on it’s on#I’m so glad it’s not something worst 😭#everything was pointing at the prostrate and that is NOT GOOD#my poor dad still 🥲#useranusia#tagging Anna cause you seem worried 🫶
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related to lrb
i had kidney stones when i was 10yo. but when a 10yo girl starts complaining of intermittent stomach pain and blood in the toilet, medical professionals will laugh and say “congrats on becoming a woman, go buy some pads and go home.”
well. as you may imagine, kidney stone pain is significantly different than traditional cramp pain, and also significantly worse. like unimaginably bad. like genuinely being run through with a sword, being slowly twisted, for hours and hours at a time.
so being told “this is just your life once a month for the next 30-40 years” was perhaps the most terrifying thing i had ever heard at that point. and i remember, for the first time in my life, saying “i would rather kill myself” and meaning it 100%.
i got home from the hospital - again, 10 years old - and immediately started googling hysterectomies.
#anyway.#when the pain remained too severe to function they took me back to the hospital#and that time they did a CT scan#and i received proper diagnosis and treatment.#but the few days there where i thought kidney stone pain was going to be in my life forever#i was sincerely like. if i don’t get a hysterectomy As Soon As Possible i will literally kill myself.#and . as you may imagine . they don’t give 10yos hysterectomies. so it was looking bleak.#izzy.txt
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Guess who just got back from the ER??
#is me#I was in the ER#excruciating 1am pain woke me up and it sucked#got a kidney stone so I’ve learned those are awful#got pain meds for it tho#now I just eepy#pain decided to wait to my parents were outta town and all the instacares were closed to try and murk me#so excruciating pain decided my grandma was gonna get me and take me to the ER instead#at least they weren’t busy so that’s a plus#but yeah that still sucked#ace rambles
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Little piece of love and advice--If the doctor prescribes you pain medication following a procedure, they expect you to need it. If you do, take the pain medicine.
#mod laura had a kidney stone removed yesterday and its. woof!#people say the pain is comparable to childbirth and while i cant speak from experience on that#its been an 8-9/10 for me on the pain scale#not food
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