#kiddo talks

[soldrawss]

Something something 16yo 2k12 Mikey gets sucked into a portal and sent into the RISE universe and ends up helping raise the RISE kiddos AU

[countryside-dad]

I fucking love the sounds of my fat dad cock slamming into my kid. Wet and sloppy. I love using too much lube and playing around with my cum when it’s leaking out of her.

[milosquietplace]

A dad who calls you to get a towel for him and doesn't cover himself up when you open the door

A dad who pisses out in the open and doesn't care if you catch a glimpse, a dad who asks if you want to hold it for him

A dad who fucks your mom loud enough that he knows you'll hear it in your room

A dad who slaps your ass when you walk by, a dad who says your tits are bigger than your mother's when she was your age

A dad who accidentally comes in when you masturbate one too many times

A dad who won't fuck you but you know he thinks about it. You know he would if you asked.

[starry-kittens]

Wolf Rodger….My beloved.

I can’t stop thinking about how SILLY WereRodger would be. He would be so so silly pleaseeeeee🙏🙏😭😭😭

(More under the cut)

And when I say WereRodger I don’t mean the cliches I mean this guy has to beat the silly urges off with a stick because. He’s hungry?? Bro is diving in the nearest thing that smells like food and rummage. A stick?? He’s gotta go get that thing, he has to get it NOW ITS ESCAPING.

The funniest part about it is that Rodger is usually so calm and composed that if anyone sees him doing shit like that it’s absolutely MIND BOGGLING to them.

-What do you MEAN Rodger was howling at the moon? Don’t say jokes like that, he would never do that.

-You saw Rodger running off on all fours?? Yeah, Right. Sure pal 🙄🙄

Only a few people know he’s like this, including Toodles who just thinks it’s so cool having a wolf dad (especially with how easy she can win arguments with the wag of a stick lmao) She’s used it him acting wacky sometimes dad just likes to howl at the moon and dig holes in our backyard that’s cool.

I’m considering making a fic about it since I do have a little bit of an idea on a potential story for it. More comic’s about it too probably lmao because I just love Werewolf Rodger and the potential about him.

Bonus funny:

[lonelyzarquon]

thinking about how this is the first time agatha got to perform any type of magic since being stripped of her power✋😔💔

[hood-ex]

I'm a normal person until I remember how Dick perched his chin on Bruce's arm.

Year One: Batman/Scarecrow #1

[c-kiddo]

this is autistic as shit but wee things abt how cad talks i noticed during my cr2 rewatch that i think are endearing and niceys :- )

makes grumbly noises like meehh weh hrmgn instead of acknowledging or replying to someone. example someone saying "wow thanks for dinner, cad" and he goes hrmgn and walks away

says n'morrow instead of tomorrow

stutters A lot . like restarts sentences several times pretty often. example i sent my friend when i was explaining it lol: “this is - this - this is - this is [giant spider food]”

he litrally loves to say Copacetic

[peace-hunter]

ok so i'm still a bit shaky on it but i would loooooove for orion's character arc in the baby prime orion au to be actually about learning that he's not. inherently special. which i know it sounds backwards because this au makes him primus' specialest little guy but hear me out.

in this au when optimus is born he is his siblings' miracle child, their little blessing, the most precious gift they could've gotten.

they love him so much that even when they die and orion grows up and forgets them, he still knows what being treasured and loved beyond measure feels like.

and part of the reason he believes that the system is wrong to treat cogless bots as lesser is that he cannot accept that he is as worthless as the world wants him to believe when someone once loved him like that.

it's a very... self-centered point of view even if it does come from a place of genuine love. he was loved, he was worth something to someone once, so if the world tells him he's worthless then the world must simply be wrong.

and don't get me wrong he still genuinely does believe others also deserve the choice to decide for themselves what they want to be, that they also deserve to be treated with the same respect and dignity that cogged bots do, he still wants to make things better for everyone.

but a good part of it is because he thinks he deserves better. because he knows he was once loved enough for someone to want to give him the moon and stars if he'd asked for them. and he's still chasing that feeling, even though he has long forgotten where he got it from in the first place.

so when he finds out he's the lost little prime, as much of a shock as it is, it is also sort of vindicating. it's a little bit like "oh. so that's why i always felt especial different".

he thinks that him being a prime is the reason for why he always aspired to be more, for why he always believed he deserved better. he thinks being a prime is what makes him worth loving more than he'd been told.

except that... well, he's obviously wrong. him believing he deserved better, that he was worth more than the system wanted him to believe, had very little to do with him being a prime and everything to do with his siblings loving him so very much he could never forget it even as he forgot them.

the reason he always felt there was something utterly wrong with the way they were treated and had the courage to constantly speak up against it when everyone else around him didn't was not because he had some divinely given wisdom or that he was inherently better than them and could feel it.

it was simply that he, unlike the rest of the miners, had someone to instill in him how loved and valuable he truly was. he had someone to let him know he deserved to be treated with kindness and dignity. he had that privilege even if it was taken away from him.

so. the second half of his arc would be him realizing all of this and taking upon himself to be that someone to everyone else. to be to others what his siblings were to him. that gentle voice that says "you deserve to be cared for, you deserve kindness, you deserve better".

i don't know i'm still working on it akjshdjka

[metamatronic]

can we get confirmed sexualities and pronouns pleaseee? 🥺🥺🥺

tbh i genuinely believe most of this cast has not given it much thought.

Michael (he/him) somewhere on the demi/ace spectrum, he never quite figured it out.

William (he/him) gay (that may have been the cause of those marital issues, womp womp)

Elizabeth (she/her) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno probably bi???

David/C.C. (he/they) aro/ace

Charlie (she/her) also probably bi

Ennard (they/them) fiercely aro/ace

Henry (he/him) bisexual (evil edition)

Mark/Phone Guy (he/him) straight

Cassidy (she/her) i truly do not think she’s thought about it

Nick/Phone Dude (he/him) pan

Amy/Tape Girl (she/her) lesbian

Jeremy VR (he/him) straight probably

Vanessa (she/her) pan

[countryside-dad]

For you dumbasses that don’t have a brain. When I write “kid” in my fantasies, I’m talking about a grown ass person. My sub is the same age as me and we’ve been together for years. It’s fantasy. Between two consenting adults. Get it into your head.

[milosquietplace]

I'm not even into piss like that but fuck. The way cis dudes just whip it out and do it anywhere....

Need to be on a camping trip with Dad where he doesn't even pause the conversation when he unbuckles his belt and I see his huge adult cock for the first time as he pisses against a nearby tree. And I'm so embarrassed because I shouldn't be seeing that but also I don't want to look away and the way he groans in satisfaction is making my parts feel all weird and tingly and UGH-

[followerofmercy]

I think Freminet has some of the most interesting dissonance in his self perception of any Genshin character.

Like, of the Hearthlings we know, he's one of the most emotionally mature and intelligent. Lynette might still have him beat, but after playing her hangout... I dunno. I think they're tied. Lyney is Crumbling, Alrecchino is. Well. Arlecchino. Everyone else is a deeply traumatized child or adult and Freminet seems to pretty regularly be people's emotional support. His character stories talk about getting his vision by saving a bunch of other kids on a dive that went bad. The Selkie event literally had him being a therapist for a grownass woman, citing his past experiences with all the other Hearthlings that have died or killed themselves. And he handled that situation WELL. Yeah, he seems to live in a fantasy, but goddamn he's alive and a lot of people in his position aren't so clearly something is working.

Either his or Lyney's character story talks about the time Freminet had reached out to Lyney to try to ease his burdens, which resulted in Lyney blowing up at him. That probably contributed to Freminet thinking he's not good at it, but I think the reason Lyney reacted so badly was BECAUSE Freminet is actually a good support. He can't allow himself that from the little brother he's supposed to protect.

Freminet seems to both cry and dissociate often, but like... Kiddo you are in fact the only person in this family actually processing your emotions. Lynette dissociates 24/7. Arlecchino. Lyney lies and tells everyone he's fine and would literally rather die than admit otherwise. In comparison, Freminet is doing FANTASTIC

Freminet also gets a lot out of helping people! Like anyone, he needs to feel useful and needed. He seems to be an excellent mentor to the younger Hearthlings and perfectly competent on his own, but when you put him in a room with Lyney and Lynette who baby him and insist that THEY take care of HIM, he withdraws into himself.

Like, Freminet by himself feels like a young man and Freminet with the magician twins feels like a teenager. I have no idea how old he actually is. Logically, he would be OLDER than them! He's been with the House much, much longer and his experience shows. I think it's fascinating that they love him SO MUCH and yet, they just Cannot let him help them. Which is hurting him.

(Lynette is much better about not babying him and that is probably why their relationship is so much better than Freminet and Lyney's. Also why she keeps having to mediate between them. Because Lyney charges off trying to Fix Everything and that just makes Freminet feel useless and he doesn't want to get in the way and- you get the point)

Idk. It's hard to tell what things the previous director said to him vs what Arlecchino has said to him. I'm inclined to think our Arlecchino was the one that said he cries too much, but in a "crying in front of your enemies will get you killed" way and she herself is too fucked up to realize how "you cry too much" could be damaging.

Also I try not to consider gameplay stuff when it comes to story, but Freminet also has some of the most BRUTAL animations. He SMASHES HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT METAL PENGUIN INTO HIS ENEMY'S FACE. He doesn't think he's the most amazing fighter, and by Fatui standards he probably isn't, but he is winning fights against most grown men.

Tldr Freminet thinks he cries too much and is a burden and isn't good at helping people when he's actually the most mentally stable Hearthling send tweet

[big-faux-bro]

Sometimes I think about how there are some kinks I might get into, but all of the writing in the kink tag for it sucks, and that just makes me roll my eyes and go find something else to jerk off to.

[c-kiddo]

i love when jester does a sending spell so bad she surprises herself and i also love when caduceus says a sentence so jumbled and weird he surprises himself . genuinely very charming

[rinisdrawing]

the golden princess & the sorcerer prince

[navybrat817]

Lovelies, I took my kiddos to Trunk or Treat yesterday at their school and one of the cars had kids pick out a treat AND a book to keep. Totally a librarian!Bucky move (and have to once again share this beautiful Nix edit.)

Which one of your fictional husbands is giving out books along with candy?