#kewpie and brie

[tinkywinkyschauffeur2]

I don’t know where my iPod is I just know it’s on my body in any one of the pockets of my 5 layers of clothing.

The wires are coming up from my collar and I’m listening to music and that’s all that matters.

This thing weighs nothing. It feels like a part of me.

And that thought is comforting to me.

[buggybuggs]

Welcome to my beautiful sandwich

From top to bottom we got, Dijon mustard, Alfredo sauce, kewpie mayo, cut up salted butter, dried up kale, sliced green olives, sausage, more Alfredo, and offbrand cheez wiz.

My gf has one with brie instead of Alfredo, black olives instead of green, and no kale.

She told me she loves my cooking and had no idea my mind was so brilliant in food. This is the peak sandwich

[morning-jellyfish-in-a-teacup]

Life and diet uldate.

I've been really fucking stressed. There was a situation and I was basically scammed out of a fuck ton of money. I need to go to the bank and figure out what to do but that's also really scary. I just have no clue what to do in this situation. Because of all that, I kind of forgot about dieting and losing weight. I drank pretty heavily from stress for a few days trying to figure out what to do and ate way more than I should've. All those extra calories have resulted in me gaining back 2 lbs. Not a whole lot, but I'm still so disappointed with myself for lettifng that happen.

Today for breakfast, I made another sandwich (sourdough, arugula, pear, ham, brie, kewpie). It was pretty good. Still not counting calories for the time being but a part of me is starting to think I should again. After everything that happened last month, I'm really trying hard to be gentler and more forgiving of myself but things are starting to seem like they're getting that levek of bad again after being scammed.

Tomorrow, I'm roasting a pork tenderloin with mashed potatos, brussels sprours, and carrots. Going to really need to portion control since this is another high calorie meal.

Not sure when I'll weigh myself again. Everything feels like it's falling apart and things are just starting to get bad again.

[norassandwichbot]

soppressata, brie, kewpie and jalapeño on potato roll

[unsellingconvenience]

First holiday dinner in our new kitchen? Baguette slices with brie and jam / thinly sliced apple, gouda, and yum yum spoon honey. Traditional messy deviled eggs with kewpie mayo, dijon mustard, and paprika, on a bed of poppy seeds. Sous vide leg of lamb with speasoned garlic rosemary pecan paste made in the Anova Precision Oven (127F at 100% steam for 3 hours, then 475F at 0% steam for 15 minutes to brown, with an extra slice done traditional sous vide at 160F for someone who wanted theirs well done. Served with parboiled roasted baby potatoes with goose fat finished with parsley butter, roasted carrots and asparagus, and a sour cherry balsamic port sauce. Mine had to be cut into bite sized pieces for me because I sliced a piece off my thumb knuckle cutting off the twine (I’ll be fine). Happy Easter to those who celebrate! #dinner #sousvide #anovaprecisionoven #cooking #lamb #easter #sourcherries #deviledeggs

[jenroses]

Mine seem to start in my right eyeball, usually, or sometimes my neck. Sometimes I can nip them in the bud by putting strips of lidocaine patch along my cheekbone, browline and jawline on that side (about half of one patch) and the rest of the patch goes on the back of the neck. But a lot of time I just have to sleep it off. And while the pain is gnarly and not fun, the post-drome is almost worse. I didn't really start getting them until my 40s, that I recognized. But I did spend a lot of time in my 20s with "sinus headaches" that generally got better with antibiotics and lingered for weeks without, so IDK. I haven't had a genuine sinus issue of that sort since I started dealing with my mast cell issues with loratidine/cetirizine/famotidine twice daily.

The major precipitating factors for migraines for me include: Wheat (even small cross contamination amounts. AFAIK I do not have celiac, but have tested IGE positive on skin test for a wheat allergy.) Like people have to use a clean knife to get butter and can't go back with the same knife once they've spread it on the bread. We have a separate building on our property where people have to go to mix wheat-based batters. No loose flour in the house. Sulfites in red wine (super low sulfite wine does not cause me migraines, regular red wine is instant nails in the head.) This includes balsamic, which means that Kewpie mayo gives me a raging headache and it's not the MSG. I found this out the hard way because I assumed that mayo was safe, in general. Air Pollution: I'm a goddamn canary, I start getting migraine symptoms in certain kinds of pollution with Purpleair showing as low as 40 in our area. These specific migraines get better quickly if I pop a mask on early. If I don't figure it out quickly enough, the migraine liiiinggggers. Adding lots of air filters to the house has mitigated this a lot. Oh, yeah, blue cheeses and rind soft cheese. I'm very salty about this one as I really like them but they now taste like pain. Even if I scoop the brie out of the rind and don't eat the rind, still blazing headache, nausea, the works.

Not all of my migraine issues are allergies and not all of my allergies cause migraine issues. Some things that gave me trouble historically have been mitigated into oblivion by the "fuck-off levels of antihistimines", as rahaeli puts it. Like, I own two cats, and hay fever is no longer a problem as long as I don't like, rub pollen on my skin or eat it. But I still get migraines from wheat and wine and specific cheeses. I avoid mold consumption a lot, but unlike a lot of people with histamine issues, I can tolerate a lot of kinds of fermented foods just fine. Like, vegan kimchi is terrific, and kombucha is fine, and even red wine is fine if no one adds sulfites to it and the naturally occurring ones are as low as humanly possible. I'm great with things like cheddar and parm and mozz as long as they don't have mold. Weirdly, roquefort and gorgonzola are a problem but I'm not allergic to penicillin as far as we can tell, when given in med form.

But limiting my triggers means that usually I have fewer migraines than I used to but like, there are some times of the month when they're back to back and some times when they're not , which might be hormonal but I don't have the usual way of tracking such things due to yeeterus.

While I have a migraine on Christmas Eve let’s talk about other aspects of migraines besides the pain that comes in waves because for me and many others the pain isn’t the worst symptom of migraines.

Migraines may include:

Feeling tired

Your brain feeling like mush

Getting a stuffy/runny nose (why many people think they get sinus headaches when really they are getting migraines)

Before a migraine, hallucinating smells

Nausea

Vomiting

Feeling tired and full of brain fog the next day

Muscle pain in your neck and back

Dull uncomfortable pressure rather than pain

Distorted vision/general sensitivity to light

Sensitivity to sound

Irritability

Scalp tenderness

Lightheadedness/dizziness

And more!

[luckoflegends]

Ham, turkey, fried egg, Gouda, Brie, Grey Poupon, Kewpie mayo (accept no substitute!), pickled red onion, red pepper, arugula on grilled home-baked sourdough.

When I die, know that I lived! :)

[sunshinejins]

this isn’t a would you rather, but weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten, go !!

oooh uh i've eaten a lot of weird food tbh

i could be really basic and say escargot?? i used to eat it a lot when i was like 4 or 5 years old. my friend also once made me try and eat a cheddar cheese cricket but i spit it out.

honestly the strangest things ive ever eaten are like . my own concoctions. my favourite wrap for a while was flaked ham mixed with mayo, then wrapped up with gherkins. last week i ate shrimp crackers dipped in kewpie mayo. i frequently eat brie cheese and raspberry jam. i'm a mess idk

[viranlly]

Viranlly hosts Thanksgiving Dinner.

in partnership with Wines of British Columbia.

IT’S CRUNCH TIME Y’ALL!

I don’t even where time went but here we are now, just over a week before Thanksgiving. The aroma of PSL is in the crisp fall air, the days are getting shorter, and the meals we preppin’ are getting cozier each day. The holidays are upon us and so is the (grape) harvest month.

To celebrate both festivities, I’ve teamed up with the Wines of British Columbia to come up with some fun thanksgiving recipes and of course delicious BC wine pairings to go with them. I’m skipping the turkey, because let’s be honest, I don’t trust myself with a bird that size, nor that I have the space and capacity both physically and mentally to handle a turkey. I want to make sure that this holiday cooking will be as stress-free and as boozy as possible, because we all deserve that kind of holidays.

Please note that these recipes serve 4-6 people.

First thing first, it’s not a dinner party at Viranlly’s without a damn-well-put-together CHARCUTERIE AND CHEESE BOARD. Here’s the fun part about this board: there’s no recipe. The trick is you want to make sure you have a balance in flavours, textures and colours (because ya know.. aesthetic). 

THE MEAT : variety of cured meats with different flavour profiles - hot genoa salami, prosciutto, iberico ham, chorizo, and capicollo are always a great start.

THE CHEESE : make sure you have at least hard and soft cheese, everything in between never hurts either - jammy brie or camembert is a crowd pleaser, manchego is delicious, especially when you can find the truffle-y ones. Can never go wrong with parmigianio-reggiano, or a nutty pecorino. Aged cheddar and smoked gouda if you want a little funk. The possibility is honestly, endless.

THE FRUITS AND VEGGIES : grapes and olives (olives are veggies, right? I prefer unpitted Castelvetrano) are staple on my board. Seasonal fruits and veggies always add amazing flavours to the board : pears and figs in the fall, peaches and berries in the summer.

THE EVERYTHING ELSE: honey, hummus, nuts, preserves, bread, crackers, pate, and everything your heart and stomach desire.

I always love to start the night off with a bottle or two of bubbly, something really crisp, citrusy and refreshing. The Howling Bluff Faux Paw has a ton of berry notes with a just a zest of spice, perfect to be enjoyed with everything on this board. Another great bubbly is the Haywire Pink Bub, which, we consumed throughout the summer. 

The next two dishes are heavily inspired by my friends’ thanksgiving last year, with a view adjustments to meet what I have readily in my, and most kitchens.

This RADICCHIO AND SQUASH SALAD is my definition of the perfect autumn salad: rich and nutty, a hint of bitterness and lots of crunch.

THE VEGGIES: 

1 medium-sized delicata squash, sliced up to half-an-inch-thick half moons (wow that’s wordy). Toss them in olive oil, salt and pepper before hitting the 450F preheated oven for 25-35 mins, or until  fork tender. Occasionally turn your sheet tray to make sure they’re cooked evenly, and flip the squash over halfway. 

Tear up and cut one head of radicchio into quarter, soak them in ice bath for a couple minutes before assembly. 

Thinly slice one medium-sized asian pear, toss in the juice of half a lemon and season with salt and pepper. 

THE DRESSING: 

Toss half a cup (minus a handful for later) of pecan, or walnut, or hazelnuts (really, any nuts you have around -- 2 tablespoon peanut butter work too), 1 small shallot, juice of half an orange and one lemon, 1 tablespoon dijon mustard, a splash of red wine vinegar and 2 tablespoon maple syrup (or honey) into a blender. Blend together and gradually add in a 1/4 cup of olive oil until a silky consistency is achieved. Season with salt and pepper.

THE ASSEMBLY: 

Spread leftover nuts in a small sheet tray, drizzle with olive oil, salt and one tbsp maple syrup.Put them in the still-hot oven just enough to get them slightly toasty. I tend to forget about them and burn the nuts to the ground, so leave this step until the last 5-10 mins before assembly. 

Combine squash, radicchio in a big bowl, coat with dressing. Transfer to serving plate. 

Sprinkle the toasted nuts, and the asian pear allover squash and radicchio.

Shave some parmesan or piave.

Drizzle with some more olive oil and lemon juice, and crack some more black pepper.

I thought this salad can use the brightness and the blossoming freshness of the Orofino orange wine: stunning colour, burst of tropical fruits and elegant floral notes. My mouth is watering as typed this.  

This SAUSAGE AND CORNBREAD STUFFING changed the stuffing game forever. Honestly, you’d never want to eat another crusty, white bread stuffing for any holidays ever again. It’s so very indulgent, buttery, and loaded with aromatics. Crispy up top, soft and moist -- yes, moist inside.

THE CORNBREAD:

I am obsessed with the cornbread from Boulevard Kitchen and Oyster Bar. And since this recipe relies quite heavily on the cornbread, trust me, you’d want to use the best cornbread you can find. In this case, I’ve found the winner. Cut up 1 1/2 lb cornbread to 3/4″ pieces and leave them in a 350F oven for 40 mins or so until they’re dry. Don’t worry we’ll the moisture back later. Transfer cornbread to a big mixing bowl.

THE STUFFING:

Cook and a lb or so of breakfast sausage in a skillet. Break them apart with a wooden spoon and let brown about 8 minutes. Transfer sausages to a plate.

In the same skillet, leaving the sausage brown bits, add 1/4 cup of butter and cook one diced onion and two stalks of cubed up celery until softened. Add three cloves of chopped garlic and one sliced japaleno, cook for another minute or so. Add 1/2 cup of dry white wine and another 1/4 cup of butter and let the liquid evaporate. Add thyme and chopped sage.

THE ASSEMBLY:

Combine cornbread and stuffing in the mixing bowl, add 2 eggs and 1 1/2 cups of chicken stock. Stir them occasionally until cornbread absorbs most of the liquid.

Lightly butter a cast iron pan, or baking dish and transfer mixture in.

Put the pan in the 350F oven for 40-ish minutes then turn up the heat to 425F for 15-20 mins until the outside is crisp and golden brown.

The VinAmité Chanson d’Amour is quite a delightful pairing for this dish. The chardonnay in the blend gives that soft minerality while keeping the palate fresh and peachy. Another great option is  the Unsworth Pinot Noir: plum-y, dark cherry, a swift hint of earthy herbs - brings out the thyme aroma in the dish.

The last recipe is a simple, choose-your-own-adventure kind of recipe to replace the boring old sweet potato casserole. It’s a BYOB: Build Your Own Baked sweet potato bar!

THE SWEET POTATO:

Cut 4 medium-sized sweet potatoes into half and coat them in olive oil, salt and pepper. Put them cut side down on a sheet tray and into a 425F oven for 30 minutes or until they’re fork tender.

THE TOPPINGS:

The toppings, again, can honestly be anything you’re in the mood for buuut these are my three favourites:

Spicy chorizo cooked in vermouth and butter. It’s as simple as it sounds. In a skillet, heat a tablespoon or so olive oil and bloom chili flakes in it. Slice two links of spanish chorizo and toss into the chili oil. Add vermouth and butter and cook until sauce thickens. 

Spicy soy garlic tempeh. Dice one slab of tempeh (I used tempea) into 1/2 cm cubes and season with salt and pepper. In a skillet, add one table spoon of oil and add 2 cloves of chopped garlic. Toss the tempe in, and add 1 tablespoon of soy sauce, and 1 tablespoon of kecap manis. If you like the heat, add 1-2 sliced up birdseye chili. Serve with cilantro and green onion.

Lobster salad. Cut 2 lobster claws into chunks, add the juice of half a lemon and season with salt and pepper. Add 2 tablespoon of kewpie mayo, one teaspoon of honey, and mix together. Add 2 stalks of thinly sliced celery and top it off with dill. Season with salt and pepper as needed.

THE SAUCE: 

As simple as sour cream (or plain greek yoghurt), lemon juice, olive oil, grated garlic cloves, seasoned with salt and pepper.

The salad dressing leftover works well too!

THE ASSEMBLY:

Go wild ;)

The wines for this particular dish can be as playful as you want them to be buuuut I decided to go with something a bit more crisp, fruity and floral like the Tantalus Vineyard Riesling especially if you go on the lobster route. Another great option is the Bartier Bros Merlot, which, is a slightly nutty, savoury with a touch more of cherry and dark fruits. 

Hosting a holiday dinner is a pretty big job and I admit, it can get really stressful but I hope these easy-ish recipes and the wine (I know the wines work) will help you guys through. A MASSIVE thank you to the team at Legends Haul for making my grocery shopping for this dinner SO. MUCH. EASIER. 

And just another PSA that the holiday is the PERFECT time to support you local wineries and enjoy the delicious wines BC has to offer. And BC has A LOT to offer. So, explore, sip and savour your way throughout this Harvest month. Find more information about BC Harvest Month here.

[mausers]

I'm from the Southern US and I hate Miracle Whip with a fiery passion (but that's just my childhood, taste is subjective and cultural, if you love it I love that for you) but we have a variation of this and hear me out: just a smidge of Duke's or Kewpie mayo (nowhere near as much as pictured) on a canned pear half with very sharp grated Cheddar sprinkled on top is delicious. Sweet, a bit salty, sharp, rich, and tangy. I feel like it would come across better if you rebranded it as a "poached pear with Mayonnaise sauce and aged Cheddar," but yeah. Same idea as apple and Cheddar, pear and blue cheese, melon and prosciutto, almost any fruit and Brie, just with some added creaminess and tang. Thank you for your time.

People were just eating any mf thing in the 50s huh

[thatshighlyoffensive]

That’s Highly Offensive: 2018 Golden Globes

Y’all know I only wear all black all the time, so I find the fact that Hollywood is "uniting" against whatever tonight by wearing all black to be kind of a stupid way to pussy foot around the issue, but who asked me? This should have been a night when the carpet looked the way I think it should at all times, but honestly, a lot of stuff looked makeshift and cheap to me. And WHAT was with all the skirts-over-pants nonsense?? I thought that was over. Also, forgive the overuse of the funeral garb schtick but what choice did I have?

Wow. It's rare that the first look I see ends up being the worst dressed of the night, but Debra Messing has just taken the cake, eaten it, made another cake, eaten that, made another one, and took that too. I know it's cliché but MESSing says it all. #thefacesofmeth That emerald eyeshadow and those Elvira for Family Dollar false lashes!!  And WHAT is that dent in her forehead?? I’ll tell you what it is… bad Botox. Or Juvaderm. Or whatever expired baby bunny cartilage her dermo found in Karen Walker’s dumpster. Oh and also, she’s wearing the dress version of Liza’s putty kkk hood shoes and it’s  all HIGHLY offensive.

Kelly Clarkson- "From Justin to King Midas" if King Midas was a lizard...

Kristin Cavallari went as 1999 Oscars Angelina Jolie but with a ballerina's bun and I'm not ok with it.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about Tracee Ellis Ross’s outfit. The phrase ‘Charmin Noir’ comes to mind, but let’s not bc you know how much I love a turban/wrap!

Meryl Streep: You bore me to tears. I like your glasses.

It seems to be literally KILLING Giuliana Rancid that she can’t ask “Who are you wearing?” bc she is incapable of NOT pointing out the fact that she’s not asking that question to every person she's interviewed. And as always, she looks like the Queen from Antz but this year her skin is a particularly orange shade of Oscar Meyer all beef frank. She also has one of the most bulbous horse hair dino ponytails I’ve ever seen. She's like the anorexic version of Starla from Napoleon Dynamite. AND HER TAN LINES! I didn't know you got those from bottled self tanner...

Catherine Zeta Jones: I am still obsessed with CZJ even after recently rewatching Ocean’s Twelve for the first time since Cat and I fell asleep in the theater. Her face, her body, her dress, her earrings, her love for her thousand year old father in law… I am fully behind all of it!

Penelope Cruz: See above. #stunning

I don't know who this woman from Outlander is but I do know she better be on her way to audition at Tweetsie Railroad.

Connie Britton: NO.

Jessica Biel and J. Tim- don’t NO ONE CARE. I don’t know one person who watched ‘The Sinner’ (most people didn’t even know what I was talking about when I asked if they’d heard of it), so the fact that she is nominated is a testament to that Sexy Back money and nothing more. Just her talking about being a producer of the show is like… We get it…you’re the only one who would pay you to be an actress anymore. PS, your arms are fabulous.

Mandy Candy Moore: Olé!

Holy shit Diane Kruger looks amazing.

Unfortunately, Sarah Paulson is one of those I feel looks like she's in something cheap. Really cheap. Like she stole a leotard from the Xanadu Mourning collection and wrapped a table cloth around herself. And I can't say I love the choppiness of her bob.

Michele Williams- I’m still not over how ridiculous you looked on Dawson’s Creek, but your pixie has grown on me over the last few years but OHMYGOD what is that shelf in the back? Lloyd Christmas called…

Seth Myers looks like the singing sword and a foot had a baby and named it Cheremy.

Jamie Chung- First of all, why are you here? Secondly, you look like the winner of a ‘Grunge Bride’ themed stripper contest sponsored by Hefty in 2002. Those shoes….

Alexis Bledel- Let’s get this out of the way: I can’t stand you. You’re a mumbler with creepy Kewpie doll eyes and mouth. But as for what you’re wearing, GASP you’re not wearing solid black so you obviously don’t care about women!! But also, you must not care about yourself either because you look like one of Ariel’s sisters and Dionysus had a baby and it came out haunted.

Why is Dave Franco wearing so much rouge????

Alison Brie- Ok, you can channel Audrey Hepburn, I guess. Although her dress does resemble my senior prom dress from Cache. Oh wait- there’s a pants leg. You’re trash.

William H. Macy: Did Grubby die? That’s the only reason I can think of for Teddy Ruxpin to show up to the Golden Globes in all black…

Gal Gadot is clearly going to an audition for "A Chorus Line" after the Globes. Why else would she steal a maitre'd's jacket and cut it in half?

Saoirse Ronan looks perfect all around. I need all of it immediately, even though I’d look more like Bruce Villanche dressed in drag doing a David Bowie tribute than her svelte awesomeness…

Eva Longoria looks like a pregnant Sharpie.

It took me a solid 3 seconds & a glance at the caption to figure out I was looking at Halle Berry and not some mixed berry bag of Skittles from a prom themed episode of the CW’s Gossip Girl revival. And her bangs look gross and ridiculous. #whywontsheage??

I take it back: Reese Witherspoon looks like the pregnant Sharpie. Or maybe her daughter has decided to become a fashion designer and this was her first foray into an origami—inspired collection? #blacktobasics

Nicole Kidman (or Nicky Kickin it in the Moulin Rouge, as Jack McFarland calls her) looks flawless, as always. The one negative thing I will say is that I find flutter fly cap sleeves to be among the most offensive things in adult female fashion (mainly because the only humans that can pull them off are pre-teens, anorexics and Kate Moss (not that she’d ever wear them).

Viola Davis wins everything. Omg that hair and makeup and jewelry and dress. ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Did Zac-without-a-K Efron want people to mistake him for Milo Ventimiglia? Is that the reason for the mustache? Why is he even there? GASP! Are they already remaking High School Musical (because you know that’s in the works…) with him starring as Troy again?!? #prayerhands

Why exactly is Naomi Campbell at the Golden Globes, must less in a piece from the never-to-be-seen sketches Vivienne Westwood did for Guy Richie’s new pandering remake starring Madonna as Herlock Holmes?

Lily James- You are gorgeous perfection and I mean that because anyone that stars in a live action Disney remake is automatically on my shit list (I’m looking at you, Emmas Stone and Watson…) but what the actual hell are you wearing? You look like a Project Runway contestant’s submission on the theme “Maleficent’s entrance to the party.”

Octavia Spencer looks like the teacher who got to play Glinda’s role in a #metoo fundraising, high school production of Wicked after the lead was stricken with mono.

Greta Gerwig- I’m tempted to allow it, but only if you’re intentionally channeling Marchesa Luisa Casati.

Angelina Jolie- oh. my. god. I know I’m biased (as one of her long lost, adopted children she’s never acknowledged or heard of) but I cannot say one bad thing about this, especially since I’ve been in 100% Bombshell  Manual mode lately and anything with feathers or frills or femininity is giving me LIFE. #bestdressed

Elizabeth Moss: from Polly to Pollyana. Anyone that gets that is my lifelong friend and anyone that doesn’t please never talk to me again. But seriously honey, that waistline is not your friend.

Jessica Chastain- I think I love everything about this but am i crazy or does it make her look a little bulky? Tell me I’m crazy. I’m crazy. (Narrator: She was definitely crazy.)

omg Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing the same Castle Greyskull, droopy-sleeve of wizard-vagine garment as Debra Messing! Is this a thing?? Gross. And those earrings are stupid too but I don’t know why.

Emilia Clarke is perfection (minus the bow but moving on) and I don’t even love GOT.

Geena Davis stole one of CZJ’S costumes from Chicago and i can’t say that I’m angry. I will say that I’m angry that the head designer at LOFT got hold of it and added a few of those filthy lace panels before she walked the red carpet, but since she still looks pretty flawless…I’LL ALLOW IT.

As always, Lena Headey looks like the drunk, badass aunt who was a groupie before falling into acting so I love her even more than when she gets drunk and sets people on fire on tv. The dress does look like something a goth would make to wear to a Renaissance fair, but who cares when she looks that cool in it?

I love Margot Robbie more than almost anyone in Hollywood today (even though she stole my life’s dream of playing Tonya Harding. Seriously, I’d started writing a short right before they announced that movie and I’m not even kidding), but I can’t say i know exactly what she was going for with this look… an Elsa-possessed mistletoe over her womb to subtly announce she’s expecting? A tribute to the portion of Fantasia where fairies ice skate to ‘Waltz of the Flowers’ as a nod to the ice goddess she plays in ‘I, Tonya?’ I’ve been staring at it for a few minutes now and can honestly say I have no clue.

Gwendolyn Christie- I have no idea what you are wearing but I do know that I am obsessed with your GOT character so you have my permission to do whatever you please.

Kerry Washington unfortunately looks like some anorexic basic at her junior prom. And those floral net booties are what a leprechaun wears to a funeral. wtf. Oh but her hair is on point.

Kate Hudson- Je refuse.

Chris Hemsworth can do no wrong even in a suit made from a brocade table cloth and VELVETEEN shoes so don’t even worry about it, honey.

Michelle Pfeiffer- omg i am heartbroken over how matronly you look!! As anyone who knows me knows, my mother could pass as your identical twin, so I take it kind of personally when you show up on the red carpet dressed as Marian the librarian’s widowed sister, Ovarian.

Zoe Kravtiz- Sweetie, it’s already been done and its name was Natalie Portman. A chunky, funky  emerald earring does make you look like Audrey Hepburn's edgy cousin though. Whatever- you still look gorgeous and I love you.

Kendall Jenner- There are so many things wrong with your look, much less your existence, but I’ll just sum it up with this: T. STRAPPED. POINTY. TOED. SHOES. Also, lay off the brow botox before you look like Debra Messing, or worse, Kylie Jenner. #gasp

Sarah Jessica Parker literally went as her character from Hocus Pocus attending a funeral.

Isabelle Huppert wins the night! Nope, spoke too soon. Her dress has those damned flutter sleeves on it too! What IS that? It’s trash, is what it is…

Roseanne Barr forgot to put a dress over her Spanx…

Ok, that's all I got. I barely watched any of the actual show bc I can't with most of those self important a-holes, so I can't comment on anything "exciting" or "interesting" that might have happened. Let me know if I missed anything highly offensive🥂

[tinkywinkyschauffeur2]

i have really loud tinnitus rn and i am convinced that I can hear electricity and that my ipad is going to explode and fucking kill me so i stripped it of its case and checked every edge to make sure its not bloating (which i've been doing regularly for the last few weeks and ive been keeping my phone in a saucepan aka bomb shelter for the same reason) and I also think my charger is going to kill me and my laptop is going to kill me and i cant taste or smell anything so I think all of my senses are dying and I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life and YOU KNOW WHAT

I've officially decided I'm a fiver kinnie now

[beetlebongos]

my moms phone doesn’t do any of the prints justice T___T but MY KEWPIES and a very cute poppy Brie drew for me ;~; (it’s sparkly!) if you haven’t you should check out @otterpupps Brie’s art is so beautiful and always makes me happy!!!!!!!

[loribos]

New Post has been published on Toronto Events, Activities and Entertainment

New Post has been published on http://www.torontonicity.com/2017/06/16/taste-of-toronto-2017-preview/

Taste of Toronto 2017 Preview

By Lory Diaz

Taste of Toronto is back at June 15–18, 2017 at Garrison Common, Fort York! Tickets are available for morning or afternoon slots from Friday June 16 to Sunday, June 18, but please make sure to check the website for details as some days only host either morning or afternoon programming.

The food festival is a great opportunity to sample some of what Toronto’s best chefs and restaurants have to offer, without worrying about reservations or availability. Win-Win! You can expect to see such restaurants as Actinolite, Antler, Isabel & Raval, Bar Buca, Barque, Café Boulud, Carver, Kanpai Snack Bar, Little Sister, Miku, Momofuku, Nota Bene, Piano Piano, Pray Tell, Richmond Station, Drake Hotel, McEwan Group, and U-Feast.

Tasting Room at Taste of Toronto

Aside from all the delicious sample-sized goods, there are also activities to participate in, and opportunities to learn. You can learn to make some amazing cocktails at the mixology lab, develop your barbecue skills at the Grills Skills event, and participate in the hands-on Metro Master Classes led by popular Toronto chefs. The festival has other fun activities for guests to participate in, and possibly win some fun prizes, so make sure to check the schedule in advance so you don’t miss anything!

A very welcomed change to Taste of Toronto 2017 is the move away from the crown system. No more need to waste time standing in line to reload a card, only to realize that it wasn’t enough and painfully repeat the process. Now each vendor has a point-of-sale machine, and can take debit or credit! With the use of tap cards, guests can easily roam the grounds eating, drinking, and shopping ’til their hearts content!

That’s right, I said shopping! Not only does Taste of Toronto allow you to sample fantastic dishes from some of Toronto’s best chefs, it also gives you the opportunity to fill your pantry with gourmet sauces, snacks, and the occasional eating accessory. Keep an eye out for the following vendors:

Fauxmagerie Zengarry makes delicious dairy-free cashew based cheeses. My favourites are the garlic and herb, jalapeño, and Brie. They’re one of the few vegan vendors, but one of the best nut-cheeses I’ve ever tried.

Ace Bakery has a tent where they sell some of their more popular items at (lowered) festival rates, but they’re also baking up some grilled s’mores bites!

The Pop Stand girls, whom I had the pleasure of meeting at the One of a Kind Spring show this year, have come up with some amazing cocktail-inspired flavours for the festival. Although they do have a lot of fantastic pairings, I’d recommend giving their Campari, grapefruit, and mint popsicle a try!

Jamaican Run Cake at Taste of Toronto

Barbados vendor serves bite-sized rum cakes that aren’t too heavy on the alcohol, but pack a punch in flavour!

My number one recommended vendor though, has to be the Daneson Ltd. guys. They produce flavoured toothpicks, and after all the great food you’re sampling, you’ll probably need a Ginger honey, classic cinnamon, or Bourbon toothpick. They’re handcrafted, and no detail is missed. Well worth a visit!

Here are some chefs, and restaurants that I would recommend for the 2017 Taste of Toronto lineup:

The Drake, who just opened their Commissary cafe on Sterling road, is serving up their signature hardy dishes, with unexpected twists. I tried their lamb asado: grilled lamb, with a stone fruit mostarda, served with anchovy and charred rapini. The stone fruit softens the flavor of the mostarda, and surprisingly compliments the bitterness of the rapini incredibly well.

Our friends at Miku have brought their aburi sushi to Taste of Toronto! You can grab their salmon and ebi (pressed prawn) oshi, and watch them prepare this delicate dish right in front of you. The salmon is paired with jalapeño, so keep in mind that there will be a slight kick of spice, but also great smokiness from the char.

Okonomyaki fries from Nota Bene at Taste of Toronto

The Nota Bene crew were serving up buttermilk fried sammies that were a protein forward option with a delicious crunch coating. The sandwiches are great for sharing and pairing with their Okonomiyaki fries: kasuobushi, kewpie mayo, tempura bits, and nori flakes. I’m not normally a fan of cilantro, but I did find that the greenery added a fresher flavour note to each bite, and counters the heaviness of the kewpie Mayo.

Okonomiyaki Char Siu Bao from Kanpai Snack Bar

Other Okonomiyaki dishes at the festival come from Kanpai Snack Bar: steamed bao with char siu style pork, pickled cabbage, kewpie, spring onions, bacon bits, and bonito flakes. This bao bun is served with a lot of filling, so make sure you counter in someone to share with.

Antler Restaurant has a fire roasted venison sliced and served with coleslaw. If you’re a fan of wild game and Canadian comfort food, visit their brick and mortar location, at 1454 Dundas Street West.

Smoked Sausage from Nespresso at Taste of Toronto

Nespresso has teamed up with Toronto’s mezcal King, Chef Grant Van Gameren, to serve guests complimentary coffee and treats. They have a smoky and spicy canapé that is ideally paired with their stronger espresso, and a chocolate and caramel bite that they recommend with the creamier drink.

Grilled Duck Dog from Mark McEwan at Taste of Toronto

Top Toronto chefs including Mark McEwan, Cory Vitiello, Rob Gentile, Michael Hunter, Ted Corrado, Carl Heinrich, Trevor Lui, Rob Bragagnolo and others will lead hands-on classes at the Metro Master Class Stage. Chef McEwan will be preparing his refined take on hot dogs – his version is a duck dog with foie gras mousse, Russian mustard, onion jam, and duck bacon. Sign up for the free Metro Master Classes as soon as you arrive at the festival as they are extremely popular since participants get to eat the dishes they prepare. Clearly, there is a lot to try at Taste of Toronto! I would recommend grabbing a couple of friends and making your way over while tickets are still available. The grounds, vendors, atmosphere, and energy of the festival are fun and lively, making it a great weekend event. If there’s a key Chef or dish you’re looking forward to, or somethingm the Torontonicity team should try at this year’s festival, leave a comment and let us know! Enjoy!

[tinkywinkyschauffeur2]

new drinking game. take a shot every time i write a scene about two characters talking in a car

[tinkywinkyschauffeur2]

i used to think it was an absolute SIN to have 5+ lines of back and forth dialogue with do descriptors in between but like ????? lol what????? that's literally how conversations work??? bro have you ever read a play???