#kerchoo

[8ball-wizard]

i accidentally cast kerchoo on myself and can't stop thinking about how, because the TSA exists in the cars universe, that means that 9/11 canonically happened. which means there's both a stock market big enough to necessitate a world trade center complex, and also that the cars equivalent of america was involved with the cars equivalent of al-qaeda during the cars equivalent of the fucking cold war

[sweetfeet87]

I live with my friends and family to see you transistion and you can make an effort on your website is not a good plan for the moment I am so sorry to let me tell me that I will be sure I can autograph it to surf the road for you rookies I have no idea how to make sure they are coughing or something like this blog dedicated for a few days and I don't think so but we see lightning McQueen and I have no idea how to make sure they are coughing or something else is not a good plan

[thebekashow]

Me: decides to go to bed early

My brain at 3am:

[unavoidableconsequence]

Guy online: are you lightning? Because I'm trying to make you mc-queen

Me: lmao take your shirt off

[kissmyaft]

Can’t draw women for shit tbh💀

[wizardvanhq]

WIZARD SPELL LIST

TURN UNDEAD. MAKES THE UNDEAD RUN AWAY. DONT FUCKING CAST TURN INTO UNDEAD.

KERCHOO. FORCES YOUR OPPONENT TO THINK ABOUT PIXAR'S CARS, INFLICTING PSYCHIC DAMAGE.

DEET DEET. CAUSES YOUR OPPONENT'S INSTRUMENT TO BE OUT OF TUNE. WE ARE UNSURE IF THIS CAUSES THEM MORE DAMAGE THAN IT CAUSES US BUT WE NEED MORE DATA SO IT IS NOT BANNED YET.

WIZARD BEAM ATTACK. WIZARD ATTACK THAT TAKES THE FORM OF A BEAM.

SUMMON WATER. NOTE: DOES NOT SUMMON WATER. SUMMONS SNAKES INSTEAD. EFFECTIVENESS DEPENDS ON YOUR OPPONENTS FEELINGS ON SNAKES.

BANNED SPELLS DO NOT CAST!!!!

TELEPORTING BEAR. WE'RE STILL TRYING TO CONTAIN THE FIRST ONE. JUST DON'T.

DESTROY CALCIUM. THAT IS UNSPORTSWIZARDLIKE AND ALSO RUINS EVERYONE'S BONES. IF SOMEONE FIGURES OUT HOW TO MAKE IT TARGETED THE WIZARD COUNCIL MAY RETHINK IT.

KETAMINE APE.

FIREBALL. TOO MAINSTREAM.

[jessi4fanfics]

Together - Short Broppy Parent AU fic

Branch watched silently as Poppy hummed in the kitchen, washing their month old baby in the sink. Their daughter giggled as her mom washed her feet and little legs.

She splashed and kicked.

"C'mon, just hold still a teeny bit." Poppy looked up, feeling her husband's gaze on her. She gave him a sweet apologetic smile. She was holding up dinner, she knew.

Branch smiled back, relieved that she was holding up dinner. She was a kinda crappy cook.

But she was his crappy cook.

"Ah ha!" Poppy held up the baby in triumph . "You are officially completely clean!"

The baby gave a happy gurgle.

"Lets match you to bed, cupcake," Poppy instructed, starting towards her and Branch's room.

"I'll start dinner!" Branch offered before she did.

Poppy set their girl into her cradle, dressed her, then kissed her goodnight. "Sleep, babykins," she teased.

The baby kerchooed.

Poppy walked back into the kitchen. She was surprised to see Branch, just about to crack an egg, but just standing there.

His foot was tapping urgently. He was thinking.

He was anxious.

"What's wrong, Branch?" she asked .

"Nothing, just... I'm nervous. "

"Bout what? " she wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling her nose into his neck.

"This whole family thing." Branch sighed, rubbing her hand on his hip in a caress. "Are you sure I'm going to be a good dad for our daughter in the future?"

"Branch, we talked about this. You are an amazing troll and would make a wonderful dad."

"But I have made so many mistakes with family in the past. What if I do it again? " He looked worried again.

"Brancho, look at me. " She looked straight into his eyes. "Baby, your past doesn't define your present. It makes way for a better future. You learn from mistakes."

Branch bit his lip. He knew that she was right, but he couldn't help feeling nervous.

"It's alright to be scared a bit." She chuckled to herself. "I'm terrified every day that I might do something wrong. But remember what you have already gone through! We have done so many awesome things together. Think of what we can teach our daughter, Branch! It's gonna be crazy!"

Branch smiled at her. He gave her hands a squeeze. "Yeah. Together. You're right. As long as...I'm with you."

They smiled at each other and he leaned over and gave her forehead a sweet kiss.

"You could never do it without me," she teased.

Branch shoved her. Then suddenly, the toaster began to smoke.

Before the fire alarm woke the baby, Poppy pulled out two charcoal-colored burnt pieces of toast.

"I forgot I put those in there! " She held up the toast. "Want one?"

"I still wonder how I got stuck with you? " he chuckled before pulling her into a deeper kiss.

idk, just a fun little idea. Hope u liked! ♥

@jessi4fanfics

@jessi4branchifer

[aliasjuno]

kerchoo 🚗

[professional-termite]

kerchoo

horrible. awful.

[loki-laufeychild]

HEHEHEHE KERCHOO

Huh.

[datcowboyskeleton]

Kerchoo

[thatbiartist249]

kerchoo

Just some stupid doodle I made while my friend was over lol

[niconomnom]

kerchoo-ing my way through 2023

[ankhazonesama]

I am kerchoo ⚡️

[i-hate-mcqueen]

kerchoo

what.am i looking at here

[svejarph]

cursed discord pinned messages | sentence starters

tw: violence, swearing, nsfw-ish, idek anymore this friend group needs help

"i was gonna say i'm gonna get stabbed by freddie mercury, and then i remembered i meant freddie krueger."

"not the gilf!"

"he does not need to procreate."

"because he inhales caffeine."

"well, no i wouldn't be boring but then that's probably the mental illness."

"you know more fish facts than i know actual logic."

"live, laugh, lemon."

"i am also, just a bitch."

"why do you fill random sponges with cream?"

"simply unvelcro your boobs."

"i suddenly do not have ears."

"free the toes!"

"like 'thank god i'm the only man in my life. besides this weirdo that i barely talk to.'"

"pro tip: simply don't go outside except at night, apparently."

"pro tip: simply don't meet people."

"sentences i never thought i'd say: 'i can't open the door with your mouth on the knob.'"

"i'm gonna take that trout and slap you with it."

"that cow is kissing the other cow's ass."

"well your tastes in men are wrong."

"i'm an adult that can drink water normally. no i won't immediately choke on it."

"in space, nobody can hear you in space."

"so my phone is just naked."

"i think it would help our lil shrimpy spines."

"i'm not even drunk and i'm off my tits for a kebab."

"he might be a little gay, but is obviously dead."

"and i want to be put down."

"i like pain."

"cease the movement of your fingers."

"i ran, and by ran, i mean aggressively and erratically clicked around until i saw your name somewhere."

"but i hate love so i kept him on the other side of the table."

"the world should thank me for commissioning you for those."

"ignore this link to the fulbright program."

"i affectionally call [name] 'mine ed' all the time."

"i thought you were talking about diego as in diego from go, diego, go."

"can i name one preston so he goes by pres but everyone bullied him and called him pressed garlic?"

"shut ho, SHITHO."

"i can kill a man."

"aaaaAAAAgGgGghHHHhh A CAT WEARING A TUTU!"

"i can't dad."

"beabs."

"like i just want to be crushed."

"stable? that's for horses."

"KERCHOO."

"if i ever come off a little weird and you wonder if there's something wrong with me, i assure you there is."

"mits nr."

"which makes sense considering they be goin in the dirt."

"we are one with the fungi."