#kein’s dark thoughts.

[vrncaes]

Ok but seriously dark content hmm, like i said fucking cocolia in front of bronya. She doesn’t want it, she resists you. Its so shameful and abhorring. Thats her kid tied in front of you when you fuck her deep and slow, showing off the way her cunt swallows you up.

But then again she loves that dick. It feels so good. If its so wrong then why does she squeeze around your cock everytime you whisper dirty nothings and flick her clit in front of crying bronya.

And bronya on the other hand is seeping wet. Scared and confused and possibly traumatized but she is so fucking jealous of her mother. She wants to be in that position. Wants to take that huge dick deep in her cunt.

Anyways DO NOT BE HORNY KEIN! ☹️☹️

mahgawd ash, just the mention of cocolia and bronya alone is enough to make me horny you bi-

cw : implied dub-con , forced voyeurism , gags , bondage (tied to a chair) , creampie

nsfw under the cut!

ok, so.

just having a tied up bronya in front of you and cocolia. the supreme guardian thinks it's so wrong, to be fucked in front of her kid. she's supposed to be a role model for her since she is a mother after all. but why was she here, getting pounded away by your cock while her fucking daughter watches?

it honestly turns you on when you see bronya's wide eyes, fat globs of tears running down her cheeks while she observed the way her mother is getting railed like a prostitute. she doesn't know why, seriously, why whenever you thrust into her, she'd become more embarrassingly wet, and a bit envious. even if she wants to deny, she deeply wished that she was in her mom's position, taking your huge dick in her tight cunt.

cocolia in the while, can only scream and scratch at your back while she looks at bronya with tears in her eyes, mumbling apologies in her direction. "b-bronya, 'm sorry baby, 'm s-" and that's when you'll get her screaming and completely more fucked out, by the time you’re cumming balls deep into her.

“take it, guardian.”

just feeling your tip nudge against her cervix has her eyes rolling back, and having it stay there while you spurt your seed into her is not helping her to stay still.

bronya lets out a muffled scream when she sees you cum into her mom, her pupils dilating in horror as she proceeds to struggle against her confines. if only she had no gag on her now, she’d scream and yell at you, cussing you for making her watch her mom be used. but even so, she knows you’d find a way or two to at least shut her up. and she knows that you won’t be using some stupid fabric. <3

[is0lat3dmind]

Es ist krass zu wissen, dass ich grade gekocht habe um es morgen an Leute zu verteilen denen es egal wie es mir geht.

Blöde ist nur mich machts einfach sehr glücklich zu sehen wie sich andere freuen wenn man ihnen was gutes tut, auch wenn dieses Glück nur kurz anhält brauch ich es einfach…

[bamfkeeper]

Beautiful Devil

RQ: 'Hi, I have a request: a fic about NightcrawlerxFem!Reader, Beauty and the beast AU, starting it like the fairytale (Reader decide to sacrifice herself for her father because the scared man THINK the mysteriuos blue creature ask him to bring one of his daughters in his place). Maybe in the finale you can add the mob attacking the castle like in the episode of the '90 serie, with Graydon Creed guiding the mob (you can't look at that man and don't think he's a variant of Gaston). Just don't turn Kurt into a human, I love our fuzzy Elf. Thanks!' - @historygirl93

Warnings: F!reader, some violence, minor character death. Unedited.

A/N: I think this is a cute idea, I love the story. I don't see how Kurt could ever be viewed as 'beastly' he's too sweet. The fairytale is a longer story and involving all the details would take me a long time to write, so I did what I could to get the idea of the story across. I did my best, it was slightly challenging, and I changed just a few details just because I thought it would be better for the story.

WC: 2.2k

The village held such a prejudice against the blue demon who lived in the abandoned church. Rumors of yellow glowing eyes and a shadow with a devil's tail flicking in the dark, crawling on the walls like a hellish insect. A monster, the children of the village feared him just as much as the adults, whom had weapons ready to kill if he dared leave the cathedral.

Your father was highly religious. He wanted to banish the devil from the church once and for all, to purify the holy ground, but believed that only a sacrifice would satisfy the creature. You were horrified at first, being so helplessly given away as a sacrifice, you were the lamb that was about to be beheaded for no reason.

Upon being abandoned at the cathedral, surrounded by the harsh cold and snow, you thought you'd freeze to death. To your initial horror and surprise, the devil appeared. He flashed in front of you in black and purple smoke, like they rose from the ashes of Hell. You were far too tired and exhausted, so before you knew it, your body was wrapped and you were inside.

You felt the warmth of the fire inside the stone furnace, you sat up and watched the orange flames dance quietly while the blanket remained wrapped around your drenched form. The snow melted away and left you wet and still somewhat cold. But you were at least inside...

Once you regained enough bearings, you looked around for the devil, wondering where he was and what he was going to do to you. You felt fearful, your mind having heavy thoughts invading your mind of horrific treatment. While you searched the dark room, you saw his eyes peering to you from the darkest corner, tiny irises of gold staring through your soul.

"It's you..." your voice muttered out quietly, "You're the devil." Your hushed tone made him tilt his head slightly, he slowly walked around the wall, the far shadows hiding most of him.

"Nein...I am no Teufel..." he spoke back, his voice was even and not nearly as intimidating as you thought it would be. "I was born like this. But I am no demon." He stepped closer as he spoke to you, his appearance becoming more visible in the firelight. He had blue skin and sharp teeth like the villagers said, a long tail with a devil's spade, sharp nails and pointed ears...

"You look like one," you shakily retorted, still on edge of what his intentions were and you weren't about to fall victim without a fight. He only chuckled back, empty and somewhat...sad.

"I know."

He sat down near you, a few feet away, looking at you and slowly giving a smile, trying to be friendly. "I won't hurt you, I wouldn't ever." He paused, then continued, "Besides, a demon cannot step inside a church." He reasoned, holding out a three fingered hand to you. "Hab keine Angst."

You were cautious, but after seeing he wasn't nearly as horrifying as the town made him seem, you reached out and touched his hand. His skin was warm, he was fluffy. He felt like soft velvet, not like cold scaled skin you had been told was the skin of the devil.

Over the following weeks, you became closer to each other. You warmed up quickly after his efforts to try to appear not so scary, and once you spoke more often, he was actually very sweet and kind. You watched him feed birds and squirrels, holding the seeds in his palms and speaking to the birds as if they could understand him.

His favorites were the blue jays.

He showed you the cathedral, leading you through the massive church and showing you around. He showed you the library with lots of books along the walls, the studio where old paints and canvases were. He gave you plenty of things to do, and he provided you with good food, a large space to sleep, he treated you well. He was kind and sweet and...attractive.

You couldn't help but feel yourself get pulled towards him. Feel yourself get swept up by his chivalry and charm. He showed off in front of you, entertaining you with his skills as an acrobat and swordsman, he even let you try to swing one of his swords.

It was much heavier than you thought, making his skills all the more impressive.

You got word that your father had fallen very ill, and you wanted to see him. Kurt didn't want you to leave, scared you'd never return again. He held your hands and looked at you in the eye, his worry etched on his face. "You won't abandon me, will you?" he asks softly, "I don't wish for you to go..." he brings your hand up to his cheek, rubbing his face into your palm.

Your heart melts and you sigh, "I promise I'll come back. I just...want to make sure my father is okay..." you whisper back. You knew how he felt, being abandoned was one of his biggest fears. All he had been in his life was abandoned, by his mother, this town, sometimes he felt as though God himself has abandoned him.

With great reluctance, he let go and you rushed back into the village, desperate to see your sickly father. You were still angry he left you to die, but he was still your father. When you made it back, you came to his bedside and saw how terrible he looked. You had no idea what he had, but he looked on the verge of death.

Word got loose that you were in the town, somehow surviving the 'demon' who resided in the abandoned church. The town's greatest 'champion,' Graydon, nearly stormed up to your home and forced his way in. His voice loud and demanding, he as angry and furious with you.

The vile man had attempted to court you before. You always denied him. Why would you want to be with someone as crude and hateful as Graydon?

"How did you escape that wretched demon?" he demanded, yanking you from your father's bedside. He held your arm tight and stared at you with fury in his eyes. "That beastly creature will invade our town because of you! You were his sacrifice! Leaving signifies that the deal is broken! You've doomed all of us!"

Your eyes were wide as he basically screamed in your face, his cool was gone and he looked like he wanted to hurt you. You tugged against his strong hold, grunting as you tried to get free. "He's not a monster, or a demon! He's just a man!" You shouted back, "He's kind, gentle, he wouldn't hurt a soul!"

Graydon laughed at you, yanking you closer again. "You are lucky you are pretty, girl...you are such a naïve little thing. That devil is evil, and you have succumbed to his incubi ways. Don't worry, I'll make sure I fix that little head of yours up and rid you of the corruption he has brought upon you."

He threw you down, you hit your head and everything became a hazy mess. You heard his footsteps leave, his heavy boots hitting the old wooden floors with anger. You tried to lift yourself up, but you hit your head too hard. The world was spinning around you, but you didn't want any harm to come to Kurt. Graydon was as ruthless as he was egotistical, and he was dead set on murdering Kurt. He always had been, telling tall tales of cutting off his head and hanging it over the statue in town square.

You could hear his voice, rallying the town and heading up the treacherous path to the abandoned cathedral. You felt your heart ache, your body fading to unconsciousness from the injury.

When you regained consciousness, your body ached but the thought of Graydon already at the church gave you a newfound form of energy. You jerked up, your father had been too weak and sick to help, while you worried for him, the memory of him giving you up to die was there. You had to make a choice, and your heart had been decided.

You needed to get to the church.

You stumbled out to the stables, your body staggering as your brain felt fuzzy and heavy. You probably had a concussion, but right now that wasn't important. You didn't have a horse of your own, you prayed that the one you made it to wouldn't buck you off. The stallion let out a soft nicker, you rubbed its neck, your hand weakly holding onto the mane and you forced your body to mount.

The horse moved a few steps, adjusting to your weight. No saddle, it'll have to do.

You squeezed your legs and held on, the horse moved forward and with your encouragement it began a steady gallop through the trail that led up to the church. The horse was fast and bareback was hard for you to hold on, especially with a head injury. the horse sensed your wavering weight and tried to steady its run.

Over the hill was the church, and the stallion ran you right inside the broken down doors. You heard loud shouting, men fighting, and the sight that came to view was horrible.

Most of the men were down, unconscious, and Graydon was shooting arrows at Kurt, who had been disappearing in puffs of smoke, reappearing in other places. His yellow eyes blazed and he hissed at Graydon, landing kicks and punches to the larger man. You shouted at them to stop, but your voice fell on deaf ears.

The torches the other men had been carrying caught the tapestries and the flames eagerly began to eat the fabric and grow. The horse reared up, and you fell off its back as it ran out of the church. You sat up and cried out at Graydon, "Stop it! Don't hurt him! Can't you see what you're doing?!"

Kurt's teleporting soon became predictable, Graydon memorized the pattern and he shot an arrow into Kurt's leg right as he reappeared again. Kurt let out a strangled cry, stumbling from the beams and to the ground. By now the flames had consumed the entire room, smoke became thick and Graydon towered over Kurt's body. His eyes reflecting the fire, his face red and his hair a mess. He looked like the devil now, the fire only adding to his hellish desires to smite out Kurt's existence.

"Die, I cast you down to the pits of Hell where you belong!" Graydon tore a blade from his sheath, raising it above his head. But Kurt's eyes were focused on the burning wood above him, and he managed to teleport from that spot right as the wooden beams fell from the ceiling. Kurt reappeared by you, his fuzzy arms wrapped around yours as he teleported you outside. The last thing you saw in the church were the large beams falling onto Graydon's body, crushing him.

When you reappeared outside, you saw Kurt was hurt from the fight. He had two arrows in his body, one in his leg and one in his back, several lacerations from fighting the others and some parts of him had been burned. He let out a deep cough and he laid beside you, unresponsive.

"Kurt?? Kurt! Wake up!" You shook him, gently at first but it became more frantic when you noticed his lack of response. "Please get up!" You felt tears prick your eyes, your head swiveled around, looking for anyone to help. You weren't sure what to do, you felt hopeless. After you thought he was gone, his tail twitched at your side, gently curling up around your thigh weakly.

"Kurt??" You asked quickly, glancing down at him. You could see the exhaustion on his face, the weakness, but he nodded back. He gave you a weak smile, his yellow eyes soft and pure.

"Liebe..." he whispered back, his hand held yours and he pulled you closer. Your body naturally obeyed and you let your lips find his, both weakly pressing together as the two of you kissed for the first time. It felt so right, his hand cupped your face and his tail wrapped around you, being so weak but loving all at the same time.

You hadn't noticed the other townspeople had been watching from the trees, seeing how gentle and sweet you were to him. They could see that Kurt didn't resemble a creature of Hell like they thought, while he did seem odd looking, he didn't look to be horrific as they predicted. Their imaginations took over and the tall tales took over their logic.

When you broke the kiss, he smiled up at you. "You....came back..." he rasped, he was hurt still, but he was okay. He'd live. That's all you needed to know.

"Of course I came back...I told you I would..." you whispered sweetly, guilt gnawed at your core, "If I hadn't left then..."

Kurt cut you off, shushing you, "Nein, liebe...do not worry...the church can be rebuilt...I am going to be fine. What's another small scar? My fur will cover it anyway." He added, giving you a playful smile.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, "Oh, Kurt...don't make me laugh right now..." You muttered, some of the onlookers came to aid you in bringing him to the town to get treatment from the doctor there. You knew he'd be okay. The awful stories were debunked and the town appeared to accept him.

You had your love, safe and sound, and the real demon of the town had been snuffed to ash.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

[clumsybriar]

König x Fem! Reader — Stranded

König x Fem! Reader

Word count: 5,833

Notes: reader gets stranded on an island, use of (y/n), fluffy at the end.

———————————————————————————

(Y/n) wasn’t so sure how she had survived a natural disaster such as she did. But here she was, proof that miracles do happen.

Her eyes were blurry as the tears welled up in her eyes as she looked around the abandoned beach. No one was left in the small boat she had been traveling on. Her assumption was that she was the only one.

She thought she was alone and left to die in this hellscape no matter how beautiful it truly was. There was no time to take in the beauty when panic settled in her soul.

She was in pain and felt like she went through a terrible beating. Her eyes glanced back at the boat as she saw it washed ashore broken in half and clearly not being able to be sailed back into the mighty sea Poseidon ruled over.

She had just woken up a bit ago, finding herself ashore laying in the sand as her summer dress didn’t do a good job at keeping her cool in the sweltering heat.

She had a massive headache, and her body ached worse than anything. She had a few minor scrapes except for her forearms that had been scratched up a bit heavily either due to maybe the boat capsizing at times during the storm, or for other reasons when she was unconscious.

Her eyes glanced back at the boat as it was clear no passengers were left having been through such a rough water spout that had ripped the boat in half.

She was lucky she even survived this far. She hoped partially she would be able to live to tell the tale, but then again, she had no survival skills.

She was doomed. That was all she knew.

Why? She thought traveling by boat from Belgium back to America would be a fun little trip to end her Europe tour, but it ended up being a disaster, one she wouldn’t make again by choice and one she may not get to make ever again.

“Du bist endlich aufgewacht und hier dachte ich, ich müsste dich mit den Massen begraben.“ ("You finally woke up and here I thought I had to bury you with the masses.")

Her eyes glanced back at a large man who spoke another language she didn’t know at all. He was large and tall and quite frankly scary with that mask he wore over his head. He was garnished in medals and a military uniform with Austria’s flag on it.

He must have been speaking German.

“Katze hat deine Zunge? Sprichst du Deutsch?" (“Cat has your tongue? Do you speak German?”) he spoke as he knelt in front of you checking you over.

„I-ich, spreche kein Deutsch.” She uttered softly. “Es tut mir leid.”

That’s all the German she knew. That’s all her great grandfather had taught her when he was alive. He was from Germany and had migrated to America during the second world war since he was a Jew. From there he met his wife and her great grandmother who was a catholic and he was a Jew. It was a weird combo but they made it work and loved each other a lot.

“Ah, I see.” His English was amazing, he had a deep accent but he was understandable and that helped ease her mind.

She wished she could be fluent in another language but it was so daunting and scary to learn another language. Especially when English was such a difficult language and not like the other ones.

In the distance the sky was growing dark and hazy.

The soldier had been keeping his eye on it as (y/n) felt nervous and terrified. She didn’t like storms, and she didn’t like being stranded either. It seemed she was facing all sorts of fears today. How delightful.

He tended to the cuts on your forearm, having wrapped them up with bandages as he spoke softly.

“My name is König, yours?” His eyes looked up at her.

“(Y/n),” she said softly. “My name is (y/n).” She nodded. He gently tucked the cloth into itself as he tucked her arm close to her. He was being so gentle for being such a tall muscular man. (Y/n) had thought maybe he wouldn’t know his own strength but that didn’t seem to be the case. He was gentle and careful and made sure not to make any movements to scare her.

“Are we the only survivors?” She asked her eyes looking at the wreckage.

König's eyes glanced at her. He looked back at the wreckage. He seemed to be thinking about what to say.

“Do not go near the wreckage, we are the only survivors.” He said softly. She would heed his warning having a weak stomach was something she did struggle with, a reason why she didn’t watch movies like horror or thriller. Anything that showed disgusting scenes she was out for the count.

The universe seemed to be on her side leaving some military man as her other sole survivor. Maybe she would make it home one day. Maybe she would go home and see her family and hug her family cat again.

God how she missed that little devil that ran around at midnight.

Most of all she just wished she could close her eyes and wake up in her bed again, but she couldn’t. She was a long way from her bed.

Days and nights started to blur and she was left wondering if anyone knew the boat had crashed. Was someone on their way to rescue her and König?

“Come, let’s set up a fire.” König guided her to the little camp they had set up. Things were getting better situated as time went on. So far they had been stranded for a week, and König was keeping them well safe out here in the wilderness. He was the sole provider having years of experience being able to survive in treacherous areas such as this.

She was getting used to eating the animals he hunted though she did get queasy at the thought of some of them.

“Are you a part of the military in Austria?” She asked. For this last week it had been mostly silence. On both ends, talking here and there but not conversations. Neither of them had conversations.

“Colonel in the Austrian military, now an operator for KorTac, a private military that gets contracted out for whoever wants our services.” He said softly as his eyes never left the flame he was trying to produce with the flint he had found and the rock he had. He just needed to make a spark, that’s all he needed. “I was leaving a Austrian militia event and returning back to my KorTac base taking the boat.” He said softly, finally achieving the fire he wanted.

“Oh,” she smiled softly. “I’m surprised you traveled by boat, wouldn’t a plane get you home earlier.”

“Mmm,” he shrugged as he stacked dry wood up.

She felt like he wasn’t feeling very chatty and it made her a bit self conscious. “Tell me why you were far from home schatz?” His blue eyes looked up at her.

“M-me.” She said softly. “O-oh, well.” She got a bit flustered. “I took a big trip for work. I'm a travel writer for a popular magazine and I traveled to the UK, Denmark, Paris, and France and lastly Belgium.” She spoke quietly. “Then I booked a boat ride home with this company, back to the states where I could then go back to work.” She said softly. “It’s boring.”

“Mmm, no it’s quite interesting.” He said softly as he speared a few things of meat as he started to cook them for the two.

“I imagine my boss is wondering where I am.” (Y/n) spoke softly. “Probably writing emails trying to see if I stayed in one of the countries or if I’m ever coming home.” She smiled softly but it turned into a frown. “I miss home.”

König did too, he missed home as much as she did.

“Someone’s out there looking for us, I know.” He told her reassuringly.

“I hope so.”

The nights had started off warm, but now they were getting cold. König had said it was a storm blowing in, so he made their hut sturdy and kept her close to him at night time. Her face was nuzzled into his chest as she would sometimes listen to the ocean waves as they crashed against the coast.

“You're still up schatz?” König shifted a bit as his thumb rubbed against her back.

“Did I wake you?” She asked softly.

“No, Schatz, nein.” He cooed softly. “Just woke up on my own accord.” He hummed.

She nodded as she listened to the ocean again. König was doing the same thing as he rested a hand behind his head as his other arm was asleep, giving it up to her to use as a pillow. He wanted her comfortable, and she was. She was coming to rely on him and feel afraid when he left. It got to the point that she followed quietly when he hunted or stayed close by as close as possible.

“What’s on your mind tonight.” He asked softly.

“What tomorrow will bring.” She said softly. “Maybe a rescue crew.” She nodded her head.

“We can dream, but don’t get your hopes up.” He was realistic.

“Do you miss home?” (Y/n) asked as she looked up at him.

“I miss Home, I do, liebling.” He said quietly.

Outside random frogs were croaking and random animals were making sounds.

She was so grateful to have found a crystal clear body of water to bathe in not too long ago. Her and König would take turns and it made things so much better as she wasn’t feeling embarrassed about sweating as much. Now she didn’t mind being curled next to him as they slept. A week ago, she would have been repulsed and kept on her side away from König because she felt stinky and quite frankly didn’t want him to smell her body odor she had collected from her wonderful journey in the wilderness.

“In the little town I live in, there’s this bakery,” She hummed softly. “They make the best apple crumble.” She hummed softly. “I’m craving it right now.” She giggled softly.

“Mmm, and here I was craving a bratwurst and the best Austrian bier.” He chuckled, his chest rumbling and causing her giggle.

“Bier! Nein! Das ist nicht lecker.” (Beer, no, that is not tasty!”) she had been slowly picking up German from him. Having been near him for about three weeks he was filling in some words with phrases teaching her without any of them noticing,

“Oh, now you spreche Deutch.” He teased her softly.

“Picked up a bit.” She hummed. “Like…oh!” She cleared her throat. “Du bist ein stück Scheiße.” She paused. “You said that when you were angry at the fire.”

“Mmm,” he chuckled. “Language.” He patted her back. “Leave the foul mouthed cuss words to me.”

She giggled softly. “Yes colonel.” She smiled up at him. “I sometimes think about the people who are worried sick about me, like my mother and father, my sister, they have no way to contact me and I can’t contact them to let them know I’m safe.” (Y/n) said softly as she looked out at the ocean. “Do you have people at home waiting for you, worried sick?”

Her eyes traveled back up to him as her hand rested on his chest.

“Meine Mutter und mein Vater.” He hummed. “I call them every night, but they’ve gone a few weeks without it.” He chuckled softly. “Maybe they think I went on an important mission.” He hummed softly. “That’s all that would worry other than my team.” He said softly. “I’ll get you home, I promise.”

She smiled softly at his promise. “I trust you colonel.”

»»————-　♔　————-««

Finding a water source that offered crystal clear water had made things ten times easier. The ocean was great but it was salty and one couldn’t survive off of that unless they wanted to be dehydrated and dead by the end of the week with this sweltering heat. König had found that it was coming from a spring that trickled down from a mountain.

(Y/n)’s first thought was, it must not have been that small of an island, maybe they were on an island with civilian life. If that was the case then they needed to find people, find a town, something.

“It's not safe to leave what we created here.” König was stern when he said that. “We leave this behind, we risk having to survive in a new location that’s why we haven’t gone far.”

“But—“

“No buts schatz, what if you don’t have that spring water and it’s just saltwater bubbling up through the sandy terrain making a body of saltwater. Hmm?” König asked. “You don’t have fresh water now. Liebling, trust me.”

“I trust you.” She said softly as the two sat back down having lunch. He tucked her close to him as he nuzzled the top of her head.

“I’ll get you home, right now our best bet is to stick close to the wreckage cause that’s what they are looking for.” König hummed as his thumb rubbed soothing circles on her waist.

It was logical, you're missing a colonel and a boat full of people, what are you looking for, not random people walking around. A boat. You're looking for a boat.

She was ready to feel the grass between her toes and hopefully not the damn sand anymore.

Needless to say, she didn’t need to take a beach vacation in the next 10 years. She was all beached out. Three weeks felt like a lifetime to her right now, it felt like entirely too much time to be stranded.

Her and König, though, had grown a stronger bond. König kept watch over her, made sure she was safe, made sure she was well fed even if she didn’t eat all that much since she was cautious of the food. He could tell she wasn’t used to eating wild animals, fresh just hunted.

“You got a man waiting for you back at home.” König asked that night as they stared at the stars laying under the canopy of the sky. Her head was on his chest as she listened to his voice rumble from deep within his chest.

“No.” She said softly. “Just me.” Her eyes glanced up at the sky.

She didn’t have a guy or a gal waiting for her back at home. It was just her and her alone. She had been on a few dates but her job consisted of traveling often and writing, and potential partners just didn’t like the fact that she’d be traveling all the time if her boss sent her somewhere. They were self conscious, and that was fine. So it was just her, just (y/n) and it was okay.

“Mmm, such a pretty little schatz like you would be swiped up fast where I grew up.” He smiled at her.

“People don’t like the traveling I do.” She informed him. The sound of the ocean breeze blowing the palm trees behind them is comforting. It soothed her soul more than anything at the moment. It reminded her of nights where she would sit on her breeze-way and listen to the nature around her as she would read a book.

Part of her wished König would stay with her, part of her wished he would. He was charming and sweet and she felt like she was falling for him slowly. Maybe it was because they were both living such a traumatic event, like surviving a boat crash or trying.

She could remember the night the captain told everyone to essentially buckle up and go below deck because the waves were massive and a few times they capsized. It wasn’t a huge cruise boat that transported people, it was a smaller size that carried at most 30 people. Still, it capsized a few times and then things were over when the water spout had picked them up and carried them.

It was an act of Mother Nature telling them to get away.

She had nightmares of it, often, almost every night.

She could remember the fear as she laid in her bunk. She would roll with the boat hoping for some miracle especially when it capsized.

The captain had said there was no worries when it coasized because the boat was made to flip back over, but still it had a small window of failure. Not everything worked 100 percent of the time.

“People should want to travel with you.” König hummed. “See the world, they're just scared.”

She hummed softly. “You think so.” She thought about it for a second. “Maybe they are scared.” She agreed softly as she bit her lip. “Do you have a partner?”

“Nah, just me too.” He acknowledged. “Been just me since I joined the military.”

“What was the military like?” She asked softly.

König wasn’t afraid to tell her. He liked their conversations. Enjoying how the two could talk about anything and it was easy. He never had that with anyone especially with his social anxiety he had obtained a while back. He didn’t feel like he had suffered with his severe anxiety at all during this stranded journey. He felt almost at peace and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the lack of people around him or if it was physically her calming him down by just being near him. It was like a flip had switched off and he took to protecting her like it was the last thing he would ever do. He took the mission and took to putting his heart into it.

“I suffered from severe social anxiety,” he said softly as he kept his blue eyes locked onto the starry night sky. “Bullied often for it, so my childhood was one thing.” He tugged her closer keeping her tight against his side. His other hand rested on his stomach as he rubbed it softly feeling calm at the moment. “So at the age of 17, I joined the military, I wanted to be a sniper, but I grew to be too big to be that and I couldn’t sit still enough.” He chuckled softly. “So I was an insertion specialist. From there I rose from the ranks and became a colonel.” He hummed softly. “I just recently joined KorTac, it’s not like serving my country. It’s a weird thing, I’m not so sure how much I like it.” He rubbed his thumb in her back as he soothed himself and her. “But I’m not one to quit, I see things through.”

“As my dad always says, you have to give things time, feel it out.” She hummed agreeing with him.

“That’s a good way of putting it, schatz.”

»»————-　♔　————-««

More time had passed as they had now been stranded for exactly two months.

Two months.

(Y/n) was losing her mind. When were they coming to rescue her and König were they getting rescued? At this point probably not.

She wondered if anyone was even looking, were they out there searching, or were they sitting at home watching movies and kicking their feet back and forth giggling.

She was frustrated, and she knew König was as well, but he held it together for her.

He swallowed his anxiety that was slowly starting to creep into his system and tried to hold it together for her.

There were many times like now he had to walk off and let her know he would be right back so he could get the worry and anxiety out of his system.

He sat on a log in the forest a far enough distance away that he could still see her partially and hear her if he screamed.

He sat bouncing his leg as he whistled nervously trying to calm the rising nerves in his system. It was getting harder to fight off the anxiety and harder to fight the constant panic that surged through him.

His eyes flickered around the vast forest scenery. The area was beautiful, it would be beautiful to visit if traveling. Being stranded was a different story.

König took a deep breath as his leg slowly stopped shaking and he stopped fiddling with his military uniform. His eyes glanced back down at his hands as he shook off the fear that tried to consume him and he started to slowly make his way back to the camp they had set up.

Things were going to be just fines

He had to often remind himself that everything was going to be okay. That everything would work out in ways that it should.

He came back to camp to see the woman figuring herself, the fear that probably consumed her. The thought of her having been alone for a bit had terrified her.

He took a deep breath reminding himself to be calm and collected as he approached.

“Hmmm, Liebling, don’t fret.” König sat on a log beside her. “Gonna get you home schatz.” His hand rested on the back of her head pulling her into his chest. “I’ve kept us alive this far, gonna keep us alive for longer.”

She wrapped her arms around him as she hugged him tightly. She trusted him with her life.

Though it didn’t mean that she still didn’t want to rip her hair out of her head and cry nonstop. She was struggling and she was struggling with a lot of different things. Struggling with the idea of never making it home. Struggling with the idea of dying here with König, or let’s be honest even struggling with the idea she might just be König meal soon enough if they ever ran out of huntable food.

She didn’t want to be a snack to the Austrian giant. And it wasn’t even going to be the good type of intimate snack she was physically going to be his meal if they don’t get off this island.

Maybe it was a weird fear of hers, but it was logical…right? If they had to survive on this island for another 9 months. Fruit only grew in one season, and animals could only repopulate so fast. That was her logic and right now her logic was far from a normal person's logic.

It was a small percentage of her being his snack, but that one percent was still there. It was still there…

“Come let’s get a bath.” He cooed softly.

Bath time used to be one standing guard and the other one bathing and then switching. Due to her fear, it had become a joint event. Why?

(Y/n)… she had become so dependent on König she became fearful of being away from him for long periods of time.

Probably a reason why she thought she would be eaten first, get rid of the one who relies on the other.

She had to have König beside her even if that meant he had to see her naked body, she didn’t care at this point.

She scrubbed her shoulders making sure all the dirt and grime were off her skin. She paused as she looked back at König having felt his eyes on her.

She felt that cold chill and the goosebumps rise. She slowly turned around and surely enough König was staring at her.

“Something wrong?” She asked softly. Her eyes flickered from his bare chest up to his eyes. He had finally let her see his face, something she didn’t think she’d ever be blessed to see. Truly she didn’t need to see it either.

“N-nothing schatz.” He looked away embarrassed as he went back to scrubbing his own skin.

“He’s going to eat me!” She thought to herself as she turned around slowly. She was being so illogical right now. They still had plenty of food options. She wasn’t going to be a snack…yet.

“Here Schatz." König's hands brushed against her hip as she jumped slightly. “Es tut mir leid, didn’t mean to startle you.” His voice was soft and gentle. “You okay?” He asked softly.

“M’okay.” She nodded as she leaned into his hands as they rubbed across her back cleaning her up.

“You’ve been jumpy more often.” He said softly.

She has been, she was just on edge lately, afraid she would never make it home.

“Have I?” She hummed softly as he brushed her hair from her back scrubbing her clean.

“Just a bit.” He nodded softly. When he was done he turned her around to look down at her. His large hands gently brushed her hair away. As he looked down at her face taking in her soft eyes that looked up at him.

His hands were calloused but gentle. She didn’t mind them touching her. It gave her a sense of ease and a sense of comfort.

Her head leaned into his large palm as she closed her eyes.

There was this sense of serene calmness at the moment, and neither of them minded. His forehead leaned down against her as he reassured her quietly.

“We’ll be fine, I promise schatz.” He hummed softly. “We will be just fine.”

She trusted those words. She had spent two months with this man. Two months of being close to him and bathing with him. Two months of practically being his own companion, a dependent one, but a companion nonetheless.

Her eyes looked at him as she gently cupped his face. Her body got smooshed against his as his hands found her waist.

Before the two could think straight they had their lips on one and another. It was a soft and tender kiss, one that had been slow and full of passion. The two had been cresting this bond over their time of being stranded. Starting with small conversation at night too laying close in each other's arms, now bathing with one another.

This had brought them together.

“König.” She said softly.

"Mein Liebling." He said softly.

“Thank you.” You said softly. “Thank you for keeping me safe.” She uttered softly.

“I’d do it all over again.” He hummed. “Mein Liebling."

»»————-　♔　————-««

(Y/n) helped König watch the food that was roasting over the fire. She was tucked close to him as she could her hands traced over his forearms as she watched the waves crash into the beach.

She felt giddy after the kiss they shared three days ago, though she was afraid to initiate another kiss though. To be frank König was as well. The two would lean in close and then get embarrassed and look away as if they weren’t just about to kiss.

They had more important matters right? Like getting off this island they had become stranded on.

“You have very beautiful eyes.” König hummed softly.

“Mmm,” a smile formed on her face as she looked up at König. “Do I?” She said bashfully.

“Ja,” he smiled at her.

“I don’t think they're as pretty as yours, yours are like the ocean.” She hummed softly. “I could get lost in them.” She spoke quietly. She leaned forward and cupped his face.

She was going to kiss him this time, there was no running away from it. She wanted this.

“Just kiss him, just kiss him!” She thought in her mind. It was a whole internal battle in her mind. She wanted his lips on hers, that’s all she wanted.

“What is it, schatz?” He asked softly. He touched his face thinking there was something in it.

She lurched forward and kissed him. Her hands found their way in his hair as he tugged her closer.

“You like to tease me schatz.” He chuckled as he pulled away looking at her.

“I don’t mean too.” She giggled as her soft smile graced him. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer.

“Sure.” He rubbed his thumb on her waist. “Sure.” He teased softly. His lips leaned down and snatched a kiss away from her as she.

The two stayed close to each other for the rest of the day, resting and gaining back some energy. They watched the ocean and chatted to one another about random things. They didn’t want the day to end, they didn’t want this happiness to end.

Yeah they were terrified but they didn’t want the happiness they served one and another to end. They always wanted to be with one another.

The world had other plans though, it always did.

Who knew that night the rescue crew would find them. Who knew it would be KorTac, pulling their colonel away from the woman who had been stranded with him. Pulling her to the other side of the helicopter to get checked over while soldiers talked to their colonel.

“König,” she uttered in fear as she pushed herself more into the corner. These medics surrounded her and spoke to her softly.

“Colonel König is needed for something,” a medic hummed as she tried to give a fluid IV to the woman.

“König,” she said louder, getting frantic. “No, no, don’t touch me!” She shrieked as she scurried back more.

It got König attention fast. He pushed his way out of the men that surrounded him and looked at the medic with a glare.

“Don’t you lay a hand on her.” He snarled as he quickly cupped her face in his hands. “Mein Liebling, Du bist okay.” He hummed softly. “I’m here.”

The medic watched as König gently sat beside (y/n), dehydrating himself, but instantly calming her down. The woman curled into his arms as she squirmed away from the medics.

“Colonel, we just need to give her an Iv.” The female medic spoke softly.

He paused as he looked at the medic then down at the woman who was hiding her face in the string Austrians arms. He sighed softly as he cupped the back of her head in his hands.

He knew she needed the IV, she needed the fluid and so did he. He nodded slowly as he leaned down to her softly cooing sweet nothings into her ear to ease her fear.

“They will not hurt you, let them give you the IV so we can get you some fluid.” He hushed her softly. “Hmm?”

“Okay,” she said softly.

(Y/n) had become so in need of König, she was afraid to be separated from him in general. She needed to be beside him the whole entire time. She was fearful, and he wasn’t going to lie, he was under a lot of stress when his men had surrounded him and she was nowhere to be found.

He needed her in his sight so he could make sure she was safe, he felt like it was his only duty. The helicopter ride was stressful for the two. Constantly being bugged when they wanted to slowly digest this moment that they were going home. They were finally going home.

“Your mama and Vati, they won’t be so worried now.” She said softly. “They’ll know you're safe.”

“Hmm,” he hummed softly, nuzzling into her hair. “Your mutter and Vater will be happy to see their precious daughter too.”

When reunited with family (y/n) stuck close to König afraid to move away as her parents greeted her. She was afraid this was all a dream and she’d wake up back on the island but this time, without König. It was as if she’d walk away, she'd be there again and she’d be alone this time.

“You're alive.” Her mother sobbed as her father thanked König himself,

“Thank you for keeping our daughter safe.” He thanked König. “We owe you everything.” Her father held tears in his eyes looking up at the Austrian who towered over him.

König looked at (y/n) then back at her father.

“You don’t owe me anything,” he said softly. A smile graced his face. “I’d protect her with my life every time.”

“Oh thank you, thank you.” Her mother cupped Kong’s face giving him kisses on his cheek. “We owe you everything, you kept our girl safe. You're both safe though, you're both safe.”

Kining smiled as he hugged the woman feeling a sense of comfort and love. He now knew where (y/n) got it from, both her parents were loving people.

Her parents had fallen in love with him right away, just like his parents fell for (y/n). They could see the connection the two had to offer for one and another, there was just this connection.

And they read the room correctly, because a year later the two were married, just having known this is what they wanted. They were content with one and another, happy, and felt safe with one and another.

Thanks to a little magic—traumatic magic—from Mother Nature.

»»————-　♔　————-««

“That’s how you met mama?” Their older son sat in the recliner as he watched his Vati put a coffee table together,

“That’s how I met your mutter, ja.” He hummed softly as he smiled. “Your gorgeous mutter couldn’t not fall for me when I carried her to the little shelter I made.” König puffed his chest out.

“He didn’t carry me, I walked.” (Y/n) smiled at her son. “Papa tells slight fibs, we did meet on an island, stranded, only survivors.” She hummed as she carried a little baby. “Two grueling months of papa hunting and keeping me safe.” (Y/n) cooed softly. “Papa, was scared but put on a brave face for mama.”

“Papa was brave?” Ryker asked softly as he leaned forward with his teddy bear in his arm.

“Papa is always brave.” (Y/n) leaned down and kissed König on the cheek.

“You're too sweet, schatz.” He cooed to her softly.

“Mama, did you like Vati right away?” Ryker asked as she sat down on the other recliner rocking the baby. Ryker hoped to her chair cuddling against her.

“Vati was very handsome, in his uniform, and speaking his native tongue to me.” She smiled at him. “But Vati and I didn’t connect until closer to the end of our very…exciting adventure.” She found key words to use for it.

“Mmm,” König smiled. “Vati had the looks then.” He added.

“Vati still has the looks.” (Y/n) added.

“So does mama,” he chuckled. “Pretty schatz.”

“Is he your hero?” Ryker asked.

“Yes, Vati is my hero.” She smiled. “And grandpa’s and grandma’s hero.”

“Your mama is Großmutters und Großvaters hero too.” König smirked as he had the table halfway built.

“Why?” Ryker asked.

“Yeah why?” (Y/n) cocked her head to the side smiling, curious of the answer.

“Because mama married your grumpy Vati!” He punched ticking Ryker as their son cried squirming on (y/n)’s lap trying to get away from his father. “Vati didn’t think he’d ever get married let alone to your uber pretty mama.”

“König,” (y/n) giggled as she cupped a hand underneath his chin gently tickling him. “You're such a tease.” She smiled.

“You tamed the grumpy Vati.” Ryker giggled.

“Mama knows how to keep Vati in check, at times.” She giggled, leaning forward and kissing the man on the lips as the baby cooed softly in her arms.

“My precious family.” He hummed against her lips. “You're my hero schatz.” He said softly as he looked up at her.

“I think we both know the hero in our story is you though.” She hummed against his lips. “You saved my life.”

“I’ll save you in every life.” He told her.

She smiled and replied—with a soft, “I know you will.”

———————————————————————————

Hi! I hope you enjoyed, this isn’t my greatest work but I enjoyed writing it! I thought it started off strongly in my opinion and then it dwindled but I’m still proud of it because we can’t have perfect days! Anyways, enjoy! ✨💕

[its-avalon-08]

hearts intertwined (hamilton x sister! driver!rosberg) p12

chapter 12: did i scare you?

warnings - mentions of crash

series masterlist

The harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital room pierced through Y/N's foggy consciousness. A dull ache throbbed in her head and the scratchy sheets felt like sandpaper against her skin. Disoriented, she blinked, her vision gradually clearing until it landed on a familiar figure slumped in a chair by her bedside.

It was Nico. His head was buried in his hands, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Y/N croaked out his name, her voice a mere rasp.

Nico's head snapped up, his face etched with worry. Relief flooded his features as he scrambled to her side. "Y/N! Du bist endlich wach! Gott sei Dank! Was hast du nur gedacht?!Hitzeerschlag mitten im Rennen? Du bist doch keine Maschine!" [You're finally awake! Thank God! What were you thinking?! Heatstroke in the middle of the race? You're not a machine!]

The torrent of German washed over Y/N, her head swimming with the effort to understand. Nico, realizing his outburst, took a deep breath to compose himself.

"We were so worried," he continued, his voice thick with emotion. "I saw my whole life flash before my eyes. I couldn't breathe, it all stopped and...when they pulled you from the wreckage and when he pulled you up… I thought��" He trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

Y/N squeezed his hand weakly. "Nico I'm so sorry, I thought I could do it. I promise I wasn't trying to show off or prove anything. I lost control," her voice broke and Nico pulled her into a hug as she whispered, "Who… who pulled me out?" she asked, a tremor in her voice.

Nico hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering. "He did. Lewis did," he finally said.

A heavy silence descended upon the room. Y/N simply stared at him, processing the information.

"Why?" she finally managed, her voice barely a whisper.

Nico reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. On the screen, a video played. It was a clip from the onboard camera in Lewis's car, showing him abandoning his own race and sprinting towards the flames that engulfed hers. The audio picked up his voice, a low growl mixed with urgency.

"Not losing another Rosberg," it crackled. "Not again."

The video ended, and a heavy silence filled the room. Y/N's eyes met Nico's, a thousand unspoken questions swirling within them.

Just then, the door creaked open, and Lewis walked in. He looked exhausted, dark circles etched under his eyes, a bouquet of lilies clutched in his hand. He stopped short at the sight of Y/N awake, relief washing over his features.

He looked hesitant, his gaze flicking between Y/N and Nico. "Y/N," he said softly. "I… I'm glad you're awake."

Y/N stared at him, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. The heat of the inferno, the terrifying crash, Lewis's daring rescue, the unspoken words in the video… it all intertwined into a confusing knot.

Nico cleared his throat, his voice regaining its usual gruffness. "We'll leave you two to talk."

With a curt nod towards Lewis, he exited the room, leaving them alone for the first time since the accident.

The silence stretched, thick with unspoken questions and a newfound sense of… something. Y/N didn't know what it was, but she knew this was just the beginning of a conversation that would change everything.

Lewis hesitated for a moment, then placed the flowers on the bedside table. "Y/N," he began, his voice hoarse. "I… I'm happy to see you're okay. I was so scared."

Y/N studied him, her gaze filled with a newfound understanding. "Why did you do it, Lewis?" she asked softly. "Risk your own life to pull me out?"

He looked away, then back at her, his eyes filled with a mix of regret and determination. "I couldn't just stand there and watch," he confessed. "Not again. Not after…"

He trailed off, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Y/N reached out, her hand gently touching his arm. "Nico told me what you said," she whispered.

Lewis flinched, shame coloring his cheeks. "I… I didn't mean it like that. It just… it brought back a lot of memories," he took a deep breath before continuing, "I remembered your crash in Monza in F2. They way you spun out of control when Liam crashed into you. I could hear your panicked radio message and the way you were in so much pain after the crash. The blood, the broken toes. And I didn't each get in touch after that. I couldn't let that be the way I ended it this time. I couldn't lose you again." He finished, tears glistening in his eyes.

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their past and the vulnerability of the present hanging between them. Y/N started, "Lewis when I saw your face pull me out, I shut my eyes. Because I knew that I was going to be fine. I knew that I wasn't going to die and nothing was going hurt me, because you were there. You may not agree with me Lew, but you are one of the only people who know me inside and out. At the end of the day, that is all that matters. So thank you for today and I..I owe you one forever" Y/N finished while wincing a bit as she moved.

Finally, Lewis spoke again, his voice barely a whisper.

"Y/N," he said, his eyes pleading. "Can we… can we try to be friends again?"

Y/N's heart ached for the lost years, for the easy camaraderie they once shared. She looked at Lewis, a flicker of hope igniting in her eyes. "We can try," she said, a tentative smile gracing her lips. "Maybe it's time we both let go of the past."

Lewis's face broke into a relieved smile, a genuine expression that warmed Y/N from the inside out. Perhaps, amidst the heat of the race and the terror of the crash, a seed of reconciliation had been planted. The road ahead might be long and winding, but for the first time in years, both Lewis and Y/N dared to hope for a future where friendship could bloom once more.

credits for gif - @lewishamiltongifs

taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 , @xoscar03 , @torossosebs , @jajouska , @lindsayjoy444 , @barcelonaloverf1life , @charli123456789, @heyheyheyggg

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[drowninginblox]

Logging off

Pt: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Sighing into darkness became Kurt's newest pastime as feelings clouded his judgment. What can be made of a situation like this?

It's been a long time since Kurt had contemplated his feelings for someone else, and this may be the first time someone else confessed to him. He's typically the one pinning or flirting with only hopes in his heart, not the other way around. To have the ball in his court is leaving him frozen mid-play with the highest stakes on the line- his friendship with you.

He's never considered you in this light before. That isnt to say it's a bad thing, far from it! Yet, he can't stop pacing back and forth along any and all surfaces to even attempt to understand how to decipher this. Pros and Cons are the only things he can trust since the waters of his mind are murky.

"... it wouldn't be a bad thing. Would anything really change?" He mumbled. The thought of kissing them when they think no one is looking has crossed his mind before, and cuddling together in the depths of the night has... lingered from time to time.

Telling each other things no one else would ever know is a common thing they do but... would it be more intimate even though it would be under the covers and not on top of them? Learning everything about them and worshiping all of it as it culminated in one of the most radiant beings he's seen. With eyes of raw hope and a smile that he could- no- would die for...

He finds himself in the middle of his room, his wide gaze stuck to the floor. "Mein gott..." his eyes widened slightly as a hand held his forehead. For a moment, the solution is clear. Y/n was just down the hall- he could just-

Yet when he impacted from the ceiling onto the floor, reality set him straight. "No no- Wir dürfen nicht voreilig sein, Wagner. Das kann kein Gewinn sein, denn wenn das… was auch immer das ist! Auf Gefühle zu reagieren, die wir gerade bekommen haben, wäre ihnen gegenüber nicht fair." He quietly scolds himself. A beat passes as he contemplates this more. Factors he never considered bounced around his mind until he ultimately sighed. The only way he could make sure of this was to test it with time, although how Y/n reacted to his plea would be crucial.

Kurt returned to his pacing as ideas on how to tell them weighed him down with each step.

He waited a few days, just to be sure of himself.

Eventually, he caught you on your lunch break. Your door was cracked open, revealing you hunched over your desk grading some papers. “Hey, Y/n?” You raised your head, giving Kurt a surprised smile. “Hey, Kurt! Whatcha need?” He takes a breath “Can I talk to you?” You nod, already cleaning up your desk “I’m guessing this is a door closed conversation?” Kurt chuckles as she steps inside “Ja, very much so.” You nod and get a spare chair from close by as Kurt closes the door behind him. “Is it about the elephant or something else?” Kurt cocks a brow before realizing what you meant “Oh! The elephant being the post?” You sigh a little “Y-yeah…” he nods a little as he holds the back of his neck.

You only motion to the chair and sit back in your own. “Any verdict?” You sigh as you take out a bag from your desk drawer. Kurt smiles slightly as he sees your gummy bears “Honestly, I’m lost Y/n.” Your eyes catch his just as he looks up to you.

What attempts you make to play cool was interrupted by the bag breaking open, starting the both of you. A pause follows before you chuckle awkwardly “Sorry, um… I don’t mean to pry but, would it be okay for me to ask for elaboration?” You say while offering the bag. He smiles sightly and holds out his hand. A few bears fall into his palm before you retracted the sweets. Kurt popped one onto his mouth and chewed while considering the question. All the while you occupied yourself by sorting your palm- sized selection by color.

“I… I don’t want to get your hopes up,” you look at him, his gaze fixated on the desk rather than you. “…but I also don’t want to drag you along.” You can only slump at that. You didn’t know what you were expecting. Part of you wanted a confession that rivaled that of fanfiction or maybe an outright refusal like you’ve gotten so many times in the past. I hurt a little, but this was your life.

“So… what do you want to do?” You leaned a little into the question. “I… I don’t know, Liebling. Truly.” You looked away for a moment before returning to him. “Do you think going back to being friends would be easier for you? For us?” He leaned over himself, his elbows propped onto his knees for support. His eyes look into your own for a long time, yet he too broke away “I… I don’t know. I’ve never had a friend confess to me before…” he chuckled dryly. “It’s usually me taking a chance on strangers, or friends if I’ve really pined long enough… but this is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.” A hand holds his forehead. “And the worst part is that the feelings aren’t lost on me.” You tilt your head at that. “Kurt, do you feel the same?” His head rises, yet the only thing to be seen in his honey eyes is uncertainty. “Yes, but I know that I wouldn’t have gotten these before. I didn’t have feelings like these towards you until after you… this experience. And I know that acting on it isn’t fair to you.”

He keeps his eyes on you and you for him. An even yet uncertain gaze meets one equally steady, mixed with hope and controlled admiration. You eventually break the stare, turning away from him. “Y/n, I’m sorry…” he starts but you immediately interrupt him. “No- don’t you dare.” You say a little louder than you thought you would as he watches your face. Your throat slowly, but surely tightened. Your unexpected outburst of sorts managed to shut them up for at least a few moments as you took a breath. A breath to at least try to find the words.

Eventually, you turn back to him, he’s a little startled now. you almost falter. Almost.

“Do you remember when we first met?” He furrowed his brows “Ja, of course I do. Germany, that one December,” You nod “What was the first thing you told me?” He blinked at that, straightening a little as he racked his memory for that moment. It’s found though, making him sober “Never apologize for your emotions froline.” You nod. “Take a page out of your own book.” You sit up a little as he sits on that.

A moment passes before you continue. "Never force yourself to feel the feelings that I have for you, Kurt. Please. That would be worse than rejection. Rejection I can move past from.” You offer with a small smile. He only sighs “But I feel these things for you now…” you swallow “And?”

Confusion washes over his face. “Say we both do like each other after some time, would our dynamics change? Yeah of course I hope we would kiss and do other shit but the bear bones of our relationship- would that change?” The question eases the tension in his shoulders and back “No…Nein, I don’t think so.” You smile “Then let’s just continue as we are.” You offer. “ I know myself. And if you say you have the same feelings now… then I’ll wait for you. Just keep me updated. Okay?” You ask, a hope in your voice. He looks at you, amazed by how simple of an answer this was “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, Kurt you forget who you’re talking to.” You chuckle “I knew what I was getting into when I made that post. I knew what I was getting to if you ever realized or if I ever got the nerve to tell you. I thought about this a lot. This situation- admittedly, not as much…” he laughs “It’s better to have clarity on where we are than to just stumble in the dark.” You pop a few more bears into your mouth “Besides you’re still my best friend. I'm happy that baseline hasn't changed."

He finds himself sighing in relief only to follow up "Are you sure this is okay? I don't want to hurt you more Y/n." You shake your head. "Kurt, above everything else, I want to stay your friend. You are one of the best things that happened to me, and I want to keep you in my life for as long as whatever forces let it." He smiles and sits up. "Thank you, Y/n." They nod. "Just keep me in the loop Kurt. I won't pry, but I'd appreciate it." He nods and offers a hand for you to get up. You chuckle and take it. His grasp on your forearm is firm but warm. Sturdy and safe. "I promise you, I won't leave you in the dark. You can only smile at him. "So, are we back to watching all those live actions?" You smirk. He only groans through a smile. "Why? Why the Fox Docu-movies? Warum die Fox-Doku-Filme? Die sind so scheiße und sie charakterisieren mich so falsch! Und Rouge ist nicht mal meine Schwester-!"

You only laugh as life returns to a normal you can live with.

[vrncaes]

also thinking abt yandere!reader dragging the sharp tip of a knife across a girl's thigh while whispering threatening yet nasty things into their ear....

Do u do headcanons too? Or no? I was wondering about it for a while…specifically because of certain tendencies making me think about Yandere!Reader. (it’s about time yan!reader base grow…do you know how many yan!characters there are?!!?! THAT ARE MOSTLY MEN TOO. LIKE 😒 i wanna obsess over my pretty women!! pretty please..??)

Yes I also write headcanons, though I usually keep those a bit shorter. Also so TRUE about how little content there is about Yandere!Reader, something I will gladly fix, especially for the women. Like your right, can't we just obsess over them and not the men?

[luellasplanet]

glitch. (klara bühl)

word count: 919

based on taylor swift’s song ‘glitch’

in which you express your feelings for klara after weeks of ignoring one another

England vs Germany. Your home vs her home. Your family vs her family. You vs her. You vs the love of your life.

It was supposed to be you and her against the world.

You had been head of heels for Klara ever since she sat down opposite you on the bus. Coming to Germany with the bare minimum of basic german knowledge proved to be quite a challenge, and you struggled to understand what everyone was saying most of the time.

Most of your teammates spoke English pretty well but they all preferred to speak german to one another, often leaving you on the outside of their jokes as they didn’t know how to translate it to English.

You chose to sit alone on the bus, the girls speaking German around you made you realise exactly how bad your knowledge of the language really was.

But there she was, your saving grace.

Offering a helping hand and a smile as she taught you the language, on the bus, before every match.

She opted out of some team bonding sessions to be with you in your apartment, showing you around the city, helping you set up your apartment and teaching you german along the way.

Things had felt different ever since you had gotten back from winning the euros, this time accompanied by your fellow England teammate, Georgia. You were more at home with your childhood best friend by your side.

a slight malfunction

But you missed your other best friend. She had started distancing herself from you shortly after your return from England.

After the final whistle was blown she was instantly in your arms, softly crying into shoulder as you whispered how proud of her you were into her ear.

It was in that moment that Klara realised that she was totally and utterly infatuated with you.

But ever since you had come back to Germany ther was an awkward tension that roamed over the both of you like a dark cloud.

i thought we had no chance

She had barely spoken to you over the last month, even Sydney had tried to make Klara talk to you.

But nothing, the girl basically refused to look you in the eye half the time. Speaking very few words to you at training and only when deemed absolutely necessary.

we were supposed to be just friends

“This is so stupid, can you just talk to me please,” you plead with the girl standing in front of you.

“Please Klara,” you almost whisper as you gently grab her hand, forcing her to look at you.

The two of you were at the farmers market, after about a week of pleading she had finally decided to come out with you.

“I can’t y/n, I’m not good at this whole feelings thing!” She answers without looking directly into your eyes, instead choosing to focus her vision on your hands that were still attached to her wrist. Your eyes widen at the statement, while confusion is evident on your face as you scrunch your eyebrows together, “feelings thing?”

“Just tell me what’s up with you, please,” god you had never heard yourself sound so desperate before, but something had been off for the past month and you couldn’t continue living like it didn’t effect you.

She finally looks up meeting your gaze, you could see her eyes had glossed over slightly but no tears had fallen. “Ich bin in dich verliebt, aber ich war so eine schreckliche Person und eine Freundin für dich. Es tut mir so leid, dass ich dich völlig ignoriert habe, aber ich habe nicht gedacht, dass du genauso fühlst, also wusste ich nicht, was ich tun sollte.” (I’m in love with you, but I’ve been such an awful person and friend to you. I’m so sorry that I completely ignored you but I didn’t think you felt the same way so I didn’t know what to do.)

“Oh kla,” you tell her looking at her face that was filled of regret. “Ich bin in dich verliebt, seit du mir angeboten hast, mir im Bus Deutsch beizubringen. Zuerst war es keine echte Liebe, mehr Anziehungskraft als alles andere, aber nachdem man dich besser kennengelernt hatte, wurde es zu echter Liebe… Klara Bühl Ich bin in dich verliebt.” (I’ve been in love with you ever since you offered to teach me German on the bus. At first it wasn’t real love, more attraction than anything else, but after getting to know you better it became real love… Klara Bühl I am in love with you.)

Finally meeting your gaze, her smile had widen as she interlocked your hands together. Glancing between her eyes and her lips you slowly lean forward waiting for her to react. She learnt forward as well, connecting yours and her lips together.

You had almost forgotten that the two of you were standing in front of an orange stand, smiling against her lips you pull away, while keeping a firm hold on her hands. Relishing in the feeling of her hands entwined in yours.

“Soooo… will you go out on a date with me?” You question, rubbing your thumbs over her knuckles. Far too shy to look up at her.

“Of course I would y/n!” She laughed at your shyness before dragging you by the hand to go look at the flower stands.

[ryanyflags]

abin- | mbin- | bnin- atrin- | mtrin- | trin- ain- | ouin- | kein-

abin- / abinsexual / abinromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves abine / abinarine (abinary gender quality).

mbin- / midbin- / mbinsexual / midbinsexual / mbinromantic / midbinromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves midbine / midbinarine (midbinary gender quality).

bnin- / bninsexual / bninromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves bine / binarine (binary gender quality).

atrin- / atrinsexual / atrinromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves atrine / atrinarine (atrinary gender quality).

mtrin- / midtrin- / mtrinsexual / midtrinsexual / mtrinromantic / midtrinromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves midtrine / midtrinarine (midtrinary gender quality).

trin- / trinsexual / trinromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves trine / trinarine (trinary gender quality).

ain- / ainsexual / ainromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves aporine (aporagender gender quality).

ouin- / ouinsexual / ouinromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves outherine.

kein- / keinsexual / keinromantic / etc. : attraction to people who consider themselves kenous (kenochoric gender quality).

-★-

The terms are prefixes basically, so they can be attached to any attraction ending (such as -rose/-romanticsexual, -tertiary, -platonic, -alterous, -sensual, -aesthetic, -physical, -emotional, and more). I only listed the -sexual and -romantic variations to keep it readable.

(Copy and pasted from the first post)

For the definition of these terms, I reworded them a bit from common wiki definitions, but it follows the general idea I've seen in other posts discussing these terms.

Basically, when it comes to gender qualities, what counts as what can vary greatly between people. What one person considers masculine, feminine, androgynous, etc. can be really different from what another person considers it to be. Especially when you factor in things like different cultures, people with complex identities, or really queer people in general (as they can challenge such definitions).

Who's to determine what counts as what? Or say one definition matters more than another? I think it should be determined by the person in question. I can imagine a few issues otherwise. Wouldn't it be weird to put other people in boxes they don't identify with?

Also, these orientations aren't just being attracted to men, women, enben, etc., they're attractions to gender qualities (in either presentation or gender identity). So, for some examples, someone could consider themselves masculine while not being a man, and so be included under min-. It's the same for the others, someone could consider themselves maverine without being maverique. Or present femininely while being nonbinary. The combinations/examples are practically endless.

So the point of these labels is to be broad, and include those who want to be included, and exclude those who wouldn't want to consider themselves under that label.

-in orientation flags :D [part 2 of 2] first post

For the flags, I based them off of the 7 stripe -in orientation format, where it gradients to darker stripes on the outside, with a dark stripe in the center (minsexual, finsexual, ninsexual examples). I chose them because I thought the format looked really nice, and also because I don't know how to make symbols for these flags (again, if anyone wants to make symbol versions, feel free to do so). Unlike the original format though, the stripes on both sides don't mirror each other. I did this just because I wanted (more) colourful versions.

As for the colours, they're inspired (not exactly colour picked) by the corresponding gender quality flags. So abinarine for abin-, midbine for mbin-, binarine for bnin-, atrine for atrin-, midtrine for mtrin-, trine for trin-, aporine for ain-, outherine for ouin-, and kenous for kein-.

[gelbesnotizbuch]

hab zu ostern der blutrote bekommen & komme jetzt endlich dazu es zu lesen (disgraceful dass es so lange gedauert hat)

hier die thoughts (potentielle spoiler!)

- hab fast vergessen wie dark die prologe der reihe sind

- wieso dachte ich immer er heißt skinner e. nicht e. skinner. i don‘t know my stuff fr.

- aww skinny der gerne cartoons schaut

- bin so fan davon wie immer subtle easter eggs aus anderen folgen eingebaut werden. muss nochmal alle rocky beach crimes rereaden & masterlist dazu machen

- mag nicht dass skinny die drei ??? auch als seine erzfeinde ansieht. viel lustiger wenn das so one sided beef wär (also er findet sie nervig aber sieht sie nicht als erzfeinde)

- wie lys als absolutes dreamgirl beschrieben wird & dann gesagt wird skinny ist gegen ihren charme immun. i know what you are.

- uhh finally some skinny backstory & erklärung warum er häufiger lange weg war

- muss bei gelegenheit nochmal alle lys folgen hören. absolute queen. (& die kombi mit skinny auch richtig gut)

- skinny can‘t stop yapping hahahaha

- ddf leben rent free in seinem kopf. kein anderer protagonist hat im ganzen buch so oft an die gedacht, wie skinny auf den ersten 25 seiten

- „amnesie & emotionen: bob -stan silver- andrews. oh mein skinny x bob herz. er erinnert sich.

- dachte sein auto wäre blau :/ naja upgrade maybe

- skinny channeling his inner justus hehehe

- ich mag wie er charakterisiert ist. bissi sassy & mean aber nicht unbedingt böswillig

- „die lyszyklopädie“ „captain kerk“ 🥺

- (meint ihr die haben sich die cosmic treck filme nur ausgedacht um den joke zu bringen)

- philosophische ausführung zu bobs glow up & skinny in der bücherei (wer schreibt die fanfic wie sie sich da treffen)

- ich liebe diese serie es liest sich einfach wie eine fantastische fanfic

- skinny concerned about lys eating enough🥺

- kinda rocking my worldview that skinny isn‘t over 21

- skinny big ass nose confirmed

- hab mal einen post dazu gemacht woher bob weiß was skinnys lieblingssong ist. jetzt weiß skinny noch was für ein deo bob benutzt🤨🫵🏻

- hahahha skinny getting called out for ddf obsession

- aww skinny & cotta my beloved. dad!cotta just became canonnn

- & skinny sich um dem kleinen jungen sorgt🥺

- taavi x skinny was sagen wir

- hehehe und ??? cameo am ende

in conclusion ich bin verliebt in die reihe & das buch ist keine ausnahme. weiß jemand wann der nächste teil kommt?

[vrncaes]

childe’s sibling! newly recruited harbinger! reader that fucks the tsaritsa in their foul legacy form….

[is0lat3dmind]

Es ist so frustrierend zu wissen, dass man sich Mühe für Leute gibt die dir das niemals in irgendeiner Art und weise zurückgeben werden.

Ich würde gerne zumindest von einer Person irgendwas emotionales zurückbekommen und sei es nur ein ehrliches „danke“.

[sarahreesbrennan]

I love you Germany…

Preorders - not just for editions in English! Please behold my special German edition of LONG LIVE EVIL, and available for preorder with a SIGNED bookplate in collaboration with the wonderful @buchhandlung.graff (Danke sehr!) Published by the amazing @dtv_verlag (and edited by my fabulous editor @julikadreams). Do you see the spredges? (I learned that was what sprayed edges are called and have been saying it for days.) I really thought such things as special editions were for the chosen ones, not I! It’s kind of flowers but kind of her dress! Do you see the SNAKE? I’m honoured to have such a beautiful evil edition. ‘Tis a limited edition, so first come first served, when the flowery serpentine edges are gone they’re gone. Postage in Germany is free, and throughout Europe only three euro. I hope I shall get one… 😈 Thanks with all my dark heart, Germany. 🖤

[littleguypumpkinsheep]

Trans Scout drabble w/ Medic below you know how it is

Cramps were killin’ him again. 

They’d been hurting him in the days coming up to it, but now it was in full force. Scout couldn’t work like this, and pushing through and running anyway just made it ten times worse. All the constant activity also made him… Nervous, to say the least. It meant having to take more secretive bathroom trips and double, triple checking nobody heard him while he was in there either. The idea of taking testosterone was incredibly tantalizing, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not while everyone was still around to notice the difference, especially Soldier. It wasn’t that Scout thought he’d be a dick about it. He was just a lot, and this whole thing was enough for him alone. For now, he just wanted some relief, and there was only one merc he thought could offer some. 

The halls were definitely not this dark, damp, and scary before. The occasional squeak of his sneakers echoed through them, and as he got closer to Medic’s lab, he felt his heart clog his throat. It felt a little like when he attempted to ask Ms. Pauling out, except all dread and no butterflies. 

He stopped in front of the door, rocking on his feet and letting out a huff of air before knocking. There seemed to be a whole lot of paper shuffling and being reorganized, and then a muffled “come in!” In medics usual, slightly deranged voice. Scout entered and closed the door behind him, arms tucked under themselves and fidgeting with his dog tags. Medic sat before him at his desk, hands neatly folded on top of it. 

“What’s ze problem, mien friend? Ankle sprain again?” 

Scout laughed weakly, which sounded like a fizzled-out “Hah..” and chewed the inside of his cheeks. 

“Er, nah, not this time. It’s uh… I got. Cramps.” 

“What?” 

“Uh, cramps.” He said, a little louder. 

Medic leaned back in his chair and frowned, staring off somewhere beside Scout for a moment while he thought. 

“Cramps… From what? Have you been drinking or eating before running?” 

The other merc shook his head, rocking on his heels as he had been before. Each time he thought about “It”, and about telling the medic about It, a cold wash of fear ran through him. 

“Show me vhere it hurts, then.” 

Scout hesitated, a slight flinch in his hands, before he untucked his arms and motioned over his lower abdomen. Medic leaned over his desk to study him, expression even more puzzled. 

“It’s not ze appendix… you’d be on ze floor dying. Are you having bathroom troubles?” 

“No. Uh-Doc, listen, I think there’s, uh, something you should… something I gotta tell ya. Somethin.. important.” He said. He knew Medic was looking at him, but he wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

“I’m uh..” 

Cold again. And fear. So much fear. It was like his skeleton was trying to rip out of his skin to run away, go anywhere and do anything else but this. In another, simpler time, it would be appendicitis. 

“I’m. …It’s period cramps.” 

A moment of contemplative silence, enough to hear the clock ticking, and then medic rolled his chair back and said “Oh. Kein Problem, simple remedy.” 

There was a medicine drawer behind his desk he was digging around in, a long, metal one, and Scout just stared. 

“Did. Did’ja hear what I just said..??” 

“Ja,” came the reply, almost bored sounding. “You’re trans.” 

“And.. that’s it. You got nothin else to say.” 

Medic laughed, a little tiredly but not meanly, and stood up with a bottle of medication in his hand. 

“Nein, Junge, what did you want me to do? Commence conversion therapy? Kick you out? It’s important, like you say, to know zis as a doctor.” 

Fear was replaced with a kind of hollowness, empty shock, and the urge to cry clawed its way up his throat. Medic must have noticed it in his expression, because he sighed and squeezed his shoulder, shaking him a little. It was then that a tear finally slipped down his face, and he hurriedly scrubbed his eyes, a shaky breath leaving him out of reflex. 

“Ahh, don’t cry, Scout. You are fine! In Deutschland, you know, zer are all kinds of queers. I’m married to ze Heavy for god’s sake!” He said, turning his hand so Scout could see the golden ring on his finger. For some reason this just made him cry more, perhaps out of recognition, relief, or some fucked up mix of the two. It was all too much, and he crushed Medic into a hug, clutching his coat like he was a lifeline. It felt so stupid, he felt so stupid, but god. There was nothing else to do. 

“Scout..” 

Medic’s embrace felt warm, comforting, but like something else too. Fatherly. Like a dad. 

“…Shit. Shit, sorry. I-“ 

“Hush, none of that. The others, have you told zem?” 

Scout shook his head. 

“Well, when you’re ready, don’t worry aboutz it. Those men.. zey are.. idiots, but zey are not mean. Their life is in my hands, zey know better than to start something.” 

“But, mein Sohn,” he started, holding the younger merc at an arm's length. “You can talk to me. For you-well, for once- zhis will be classified information. Okay? Ja?” 

He nodded, a lopsided smile forming, and he wiped his face one last time. 

“Thanks, Doc. You’re a fuckin lunatic, but. You ain’t a bad guy.” 

“Eh, well. You should talk to more clinically insane people, zey are quite interesting actually.” 

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

OOR 2005 - Nr 10 - Rammstein interview

Rammstein - tired of controversy

Until Reise, Reise (2004), Rammstein was the personification of everything that was scary and dangerous. The prince of darkness. If you look closer now, you will see a band that one can laugh with. With Rosenrot, Rammstein blows away the last shreds of fog and shows a band that is not only absurd but also human.

by Philippus Zandstra

Paris was chosen for Rosenrot to receive the European press. The Sonne is shining and it is sweltering on that Wednesday in September. Colleagues gather near the Eiffel Tower on a tour boat. The program is simple: first a listening session, then the interviews. The band members themselves are not on board, they are roleplaying Seemann on a party ship elsewhere. On the upper deck everyone is presented with a sealed and numbered disc man with Rosenrot. Inquiries reveal that we are not allowed to keep it. Fortunately, there is no body search, as was the case with Reise Reise. Only the bags must be left at the entrance. Just sign a contract that no one will distribute the interview recordings of Rammstein GbR and then let's go with that new album.

The first impressions: Spring (slow, Type O Negative choir), Feuer Und Wasser (acoustic, thin keyboards with sudden walls of guitar) and the rippling Ein Lied are ballad-like songs, in which pounding guitars have made way for electronics and the music is even more Reise, Reise seems to breathe. Then there are the grooving hymns: the first single Benzin, the esoteric (pan flute!) Wer Bist Du and Zerstören (with mosque singing in the intro). Zerstören is above all fast, chaotic and has a tender delivery from singer Till Lindemann at the end. Quite confusing. This also applies to Te Quiero Puta: a hilarious song in Spanish, decorated with kitschy Mexican sounds. Here I even note groove twice. The machismo of yesteryear haunts Mann Gegen Mann. With a big wink, because the text is about a desperate homosexual. A strong male choir sings to us, led by Lindemann, who shouts like a man possessed, 'Schwulle!' (faggot). Ironclad is the title track. The drum beat is the same as in Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes and the song also has a swinging bass loop. Yet it remains unmistakably Rammstein. Potential hit. Great album, at first glance.

Past the Pont Alexandre III, Rammstein waits for the press. A Chinese wedding couple has their photo taken on the quay near a stone staircase. Virgin white, while Rammstein waits twenty meters away. You immediately think of Heirate MIch. Not that the couple even realizes it themselves, but still.

When the interview can start on the boat, drummer Christoph Schneider walks along the railing with singer Till Lindemann. The two have an animated conversation in which Lindemann in particular emphasizes his words with many gestures. It is clear that Rammstein (more specifically: Schneider) is not nearly as scary as everyone wants to believe. The drummer looks nothing like the Tarantino criminal (Du Hast), white-eyed bank robber (Ich Will) and transvestite (Mein Teil) from the clips, nor the pyromaniac from the live shows. And no, even the fat, saturated jerry from Keine Lust does not qualify. Schneider looks rather relaxed, friendly even in his army green T-shirt and trendy camouflage pants with slippers. Sometimes he mumbles a bit under his breath when he tells his story in a soft voice in English (!). It suggests shyness, but also thoughtfulness.

Is that you who plays the trumpet in Benzin?

Laughing: "No, although I did play the trumpet in my childhood. I can no longer handle such pieces. Far too difficult, we hired an ensemble for that. Nowadays I can only play ten minutes, then I'm completely exhausted. My condition is really bad. I should play daily, because mainly your lips hurt."

Is the song Rosenrot Rammstein's Seven Nation Army?

Hesitantly: "A little bit, yes. There are similarities. I think it was also composed at the time that The White Stripes became famous. Call it a secret homage, haha!"

Are you a fan of The White Stripes?

"Certainly especially live. They don't care about anything." Makes a dismissive gesture. "When Jack White does a solo, his rhythm parts just disappear. He just can't play everything at the same time, and that's what's so cool about The White Stripes."

Is that simple also something you aspire to?

Thinks for a long time: "Hmm... yes. I can imagine that I will someday start another project. Just do something different. Rammstein has a limited... no, I wouldn't say that, Rammstein has chosen a clear direction and that direction is determined by six different people. Sometimes this limits your freedom of movement and you don't get anywhere. However, it is good for this band, we feel comfortable with it."

Overall I get the feeling that Rosenrot is a lot more melancholic and also a lot less riff-oriented.

"That's right, we threw the old approach overboard some time ago, right after Mutter. We couldn't find anything new in that style of machine rhythms, electronics and riffs. In the end you had all those riffs, just like the song structure of the first albums. It no longer interested us."

Do you feel like Rosenrot is more consistent? Ultimately, these are leftovers from the experimental Reise, Reise.

"These are not leftovers, but good songs that just didn't fit on Reise, Reise. Many songs had the same character. There were three ballads and you don't put them on one CD. Two albums seemed the most logical thing to do."

Rosenrot does indeed come out surprisingly quickly.

"We only had to write five or six new songs: Benzin, Mann gegen Mann, Spring, Te Quiero Puta and another pop song that was not presented at the listening session. I don't believe the new songs are very different from those of Reise, Reise. There isn't much time between these two albums. If you wait and leave songs on the shelf for too long, you lose the feeling. Maybe you no longer like them or they belong to a different time. Te Quiero Puta is of course very different... That song would stand out on any CD of ours."

Whose idea was that anyway?

"Till, even though the song was an instrumental for a while that the band was crazy about. We pushed Till if he could please write a lyric. For us it was a very important song; nice and loud and fast. However, he could never come up with anything appropriate, even gave up hope. Only at the end did Till suddenly come up with a Spanish text."

What in heaven's name is it about?

Schneider laughs in amusement. "Just ask Till..."

However, the colossus that appeared early last year in a children's film (Amundsen der Penguin) is not around. Afterwards it turns out that Te Quiero Puta means 'I love you, whore'. It figures... Another song that raises some questions is Mann Gegen Mann. The archetypal macho Lindemann takes on the role of a latent homosexual.

Another typical figment of Till's imagination?

Laughing: "I can easily say yes. In the end, we have already described every form of love. I think it was time that we had to discuss such a topic. Now you can of course ask me if we are all gay.."

I was more wondering about your popularity within the gay scene.

Giggly: "No idea. Really. I don't think those guys listen to Rammstein, maybe some." Thinks briefly: "And then, gay scene? What is actually a gay scene? A few people who meet in a basement and play some S&M games? No idea. I think there are many clubs within that world with house music. music. That's probably it: house."

Rammstein is also not averse to leather, judging by the last shows.

"None of us are homosexual. But the lyrics of Mann Gegen Mann do take an interesting approach. It puts a whole new perspective on the song - I've never thought about it that way anyway. I mean, Till also came up with a song about hermaphrodites. He did point out a few intriguing things."

We prefer to leave such excesses to Midas Dekkers 1). Yet it points to something new within Rammstein: freedom. Where previously hermaphrodites and poems with blues chords did not fit within the original - read: democratic - concept, the band is now allowed to do more. Especially at their own request. Because things almost went wrong where more democracies get stuck: with the dictatorship of the majority.

During the recording of Mutter, the band's democracy turned out to be a nuisance.

"It has been that way from the beginning: everyone has the same rights and obligations. There is no leader in the band or someone whose voice carries more weight because he does more. When we started we felt that it was possible to work together in this way. practice room to write songs. Somehow, however, that balance shifted, causing certain people... [turns to the side] to become so unmanageable that we had major arguments. Some members even placed themselves completely outside of it; it didn't matter anyway. power struggles within the band were just too bad."

It was mainly between guitarists Paul [Landers] and Richard [Kruspe-Bernstein], I understand.

"No, Paul was not the problem. Actually it was only about Richard, he wanted to control the direction of the band. Tried to make all the decisions, bring his ideas to everything. Richard was no longer open to changes. He came with an enormous amount of material and wanted to push everything through. In the end, no one listened to his ideas anymore. Not even to hear whether they were good or bad. No, Richard's ideas were shot down in advance because they came from Richard."

You've never had the urge to take control?

"Everyone within Rammstein has that potential to a certain extent, which is very difficult. You may come up with something, develop it and then deliver it. But yes, then the rest will hear about it... You have two people who say that your idea is nice and two who don't like it at all. Then they try to change your idea so that they also like it. During that process you notice that the original concept becomes less and less recognizable. You lose it. But that's just Rammstein. And that is part of this attitude. It is easier for some than for others. The fact that we are a unit is good, everyone feels good about that. At least, for eighty percent of what we do."

You always look very calm on stage amid all the chaos, and the calm way in which you now tell your story gives the impression that you are the stabilizing factor within Rammstein. The cement, so to speak.

"I see myself as someone who always monitors harmony. I can agree with that cement; ultimately I am the drummer who holds everything together. On a personal level, I try to understand all the extremes within the band. Sometimes opinions vary so far that some members can't make a decision or talk to each other at all. Because I understand both sides, that can sometimes help, I'm a harmonizer, haha!"

Strange contradiction actually: a band from the authoritarian GDR tries to be a true democracy, only to distance itself from that concept a few years later. You start to wonder whether the six are nostalgic for the past. Or as they say in Germany: Ostalgie. The main exponent of that feeling is the 2003 film Goodbye Lenin, which is set shortly after the reunification. Main character Alexander is stuck with his mother, who has woken up from a coma. While she was in the hospital, the reunification between East and West took place, but due to a weak heart she was not allowed to know anything about the upheaval. So Alexander and his family allow the GDR to return to their apartment. The film was a great success in Germany. Schneider naturally agrees that he too has seen Goodbye Lenin. He is surprised when it turns out that the film was also a modest hit in the Netherlands. "First of all, it is a very interesting idea that that woman still believes in East Berlin and the entire GDR. And that everyone around her really does their best to keep it that way, as a kind of protection. "

Is the fantasy they perpetuate, the GDR, what makes it so strong?

"Absolutely not. I don't look back. It took a very long time to accommodate all those rapid changes of that time. It is interesting that we grew up under communism and therefore consciously experienced those changes. For me, the Wall collapsed at the right time. I was 24 and still had every opportunity to participate in everything."

Do you recognize something in Alexander from Goodbye Lenin? A twenty-something who suddenly has the right to make all kinds of new choices?

"Absolutely. In the beginning there was a lot of skepticism in the East. It wasn't that bad there. In private there was almost no difference with the West. You had food, work, friends, fell in love. You simply didn't think about politics The only thing we experienced as a shortcoming was the travel restrictions. You could go to one of those other communist countries, which we did, but real travel was not an option. As someone said: half the world is not for you. Strange, right? What kind of freedom is that? Anyway, our generation was born behind the Wall. That Wall was a given, something permanent. That would never change. In retrospect, the Wall only stood for 28 years. That's not too bad. However, for my generation it was an eternity."

Is living in a capitalist system confusing to you?

"It was, yes. But the nineties in Berlin... [raises his hands to the sky, a small smile appearing on his face] the most spectacular time of my life! I'm glad I could be there I was a young guy and I experienced everything firsthand. It was chaotic, anarchy! You could do whatever you wanted. Suddenly you were allowed to buy a house, start a club, even have a practice room."

Last year I was in Berlin and I noticed that many old communist buildings are rapidly being demolished for new offices.

"I prefer to look at that development as a whole. Berlin has a history that cannot be compared to any other city in the world. Due to the division, two different cities have developed, each with its own center. Everything in Berlin you have twice. Before the war, Potsdammerplatz was the center with many cinemas, but everything had to be flattened because of the Wall. When you see that Potsdammerplatz is being built up again with modern, Western architecture, then I don't mind. good for Berlin, the city needs a modern touch. Some parts are still really provincial."

Schneider sounds optimistic and is happy with the 'good energy' in the city. When you hear him speak like this, there seems no reason to doubt the good intentions of his band. Yet Rammstein is often labeled as 'wrong' and 'scary'. Something they are slowly getting fed up with. As Ossies, they already have appearances against them. Reports about neo-Nazis rearing their bald heads in the former GDR regularly seep through to the outside world.

Nowadays there is a growing trend towards National Socialism within the old GDR...

Schneider cuts off the question to give an immediate answer: "I don't know what the situation is now, but when Rammstein was still playing in small villages and clubs in the east, I saw a lot of scary things happening. Nowadays I don't go that often to the province anymore, so I don't really have a good idea of the situation. I think it is even becoming quieter and more relaxed. After the communist era, with all its bans, there was a tendency to be as anti as possible. Don't forget that there are many unemployed and social problems. To attract attention, many young people identify with that world. It is very shameful that something like this happens in Germany, of all places. Nobody wants other countries to see it either. Europe has been keeping a close eye on Germany since the reunification. Can we do it alone, without control by the rest?"

Do those people need an ideology to justify their existence? From communism to national socialism, to get a better grip on the new reality?

"They have to be kept happy, that's it. Prosperity, a job, at least help from society. Education is also a major problem. Since the end of the war we have had a very anti-authoritarian school system. Look, children can be free in what they do, and they should develop without a strict government. But I think now it is a bit too much of a good thing. And that is where the roots of that whole development lie."

You are apolitical, but have you never felt the need to make a statement as a band?

"Well, we have regularly been accused of Nazism. Completely ridiculous. We have never made a statement to that effect, nor do we wish to associate ourselves with those people. Unfortunately, the fact is that if you make loud music in Germany, you are immediately the right corner is pressed [sigh]. When we started, we were looking for our own sound, a German sound. We had to look at ourselves, who were we? But also: where was our history? Rammstein was the logical consequence. So not a preconceived plan and certainly not the idea of: come, let's sound like a Nazi band!"

It is precisely this Teutonic element that has earned Rammstein the necessary (negative publicity) in combination with the terrifying shows. In fact, Schneider is still very outspoken about the alleged link with the right. The conversation thus turns to the disgust that Rammstein evokes in many. Fear, the trauma of war, but also the music itself. When Peter Pan Speedrock was allowed to play as a support act in a full Gelredome in 2003, the people of Eindhoven thanked them for the job. Schneider doesn't mind, he's used to it. Because German bands also regularly refuse to open for them. In fact, they hate Rammstein.

Do you really not think that's a shame?

"Oh well, Rammstein is polarizing. We do extreme things that are certainly not mainstream. This band is not for everyone. You either love us or you hate us. I don't even know if I would like Rammstein if I didn't play in it... We are who we are, and you can't change that."

There is still that label of Nazi band attached to you, despite the fact that you have become more and more humorous?

"That humor has always been there, but in the beginning everyone thought we were scary, so the humor was not noticeable. By the way, that is a typical German problem. [Behind the sunglasses, his eyes dart back and forth, Schneider searches for the right words.] There have been many generations that wanted to be anything but German. Just look at the music, everyone sang in English and modeled themselves on British or American bands."

The Scorpions!

"They even did very well, but...[The gentleman from the label comes over, making a cutting gesture. However, Schneider wants nothing to do with it and insists that he finish the answer. Excitedly, he continues his story.] When Rammstein started it was time for us Germans to find ourselves again. We cannot be burdened with guilt and shame forever. Sometimes it seems as if we as Germans do not exist."

Does Rammstein give Germany some self-confidence?

"Something like that, yes. I'm not saying that Rammstein is the only example of what modern German rock music should sound like. There are far too many new rock groups for that, and they sing in German, even within hip-hop. You can feel that in many things Germany is now putting the past behind it and throwing off its shyness. Our generation is not to blame. The fact remains that this Germany has a questionable history that everyone really needs to know everything about. That should never be forgotten. The weight of history , the debt, however, prevents us from moving forward. We are not free. Always considering whether something is politically correct or not, that limits you and it is therefore a major problem in Germany. Everyone looks out for each other. It is downright short-sighted to say whether or not someone is politically correct. We just do what comes to mind. Sometimes that is provocative, but it also helps to find yourself."

So you also feel proud to be German?

Shaking his head: "For an American that's probably very easy to say. I rather think that every country should have its own identity. What is home, where do you come from, what is your mentality? It's a difficult process, but I think we have done something in that direction."

--

1) Midas Dekkers is a famous dutch biologist, also presenter of tv programs and author on the topic.

--

List of other Rammstein OOR interviews

[x-heesy]

Life becomes grey, cold and bitter

If you leave the path,

Which is given to us.

Sick, empty and dark is existence,

Because nothing is achieved

When you deviate from the course.

So you really want to leave me?

Have you thought this through carefully?

Life becomes grey, cold and bitter

If you leave the path,

Which is given to us.

Sick, empty and dark is existence,

Because nothing is achieved

When you deviate from the course.

So you really want to disappoint me?

Don't you remember what we agreed to?

The night is wonderful,

If you think carefully.

Leave!

The sky is starry

Because that's what the world thinks*.

Leave!

But stars don't twinkle

If you don't stay good.

Leave!

And doesn't see the danger

Towards which you drift.

Leave!

Sick, empty and dark is existence,

Because nothing is achieved

When you deviate from the course.

Life becomes grey, cold and bitter

If you leave the path,

Which is given to us.

So you really want to disappoint me?

Don't you remember what we agreed to?

So you really want to leave me?

Have you thought this through carefully?

The night is wonderful,

If you think carefully.

The sky is starry

Because that's what the world thinks.

But stars don't twinkle

If you don't stay good.

And doesn't see the danger

Towards which you drift.

I'll finish you now

Everything too late

There is no forgiveness for you.

Not for you anymore.

Not for you anymore.

Out of.

—-

Grau, kalt und bitter wird das Leben

Wenn man den Weg verlässt,

Der uns gegeben ist.

Krank, leer und dunkel ist das Dasein,

Denn es wird nichts erreicht

Wenn man vom Kurs abweicht.

Und du willst mich also wirklich verlassen?

Hast du das auch gut durchdacht?

Grau, kalt und bitter wird das Leben

Wenn man den Weg verlässt,

Der uns gegeben ist.

Krank, leer und dunkel ist das Dasein,

Denn es wird nichts erreicht

Wenn man vom Kurs abweicht.

Und du willst mich also wirklich enttäuschen?

Weißt du denn nicht mehr was wir abgemacht haben?

Die Nacht ist wunderbar,

Wenn man gut nachdenkt.

Verlassen!

Der Himmel sternenklar

Weil das die Welt denkt*.

Verlassen!

Doch Sterne funkeln nicht

Falls man nicht brav bleibt.

Verlassen!

Und die Gefahr nicht sieht

Auf die man zutreibt.

Verlassen!

Krank, leer und dunkel ist das Dasein,

Denn es wird nichts erreicht

Wenn man vom Kurs abweicht.

Grau, kalt und bitter wird das Leben

Wenn man den Weg verlässt,

Der uns gegeben ist.

Und du willst mich also wirklich enttäuschen?

Weißt du denn nicht mehr was wir abgemacht haben?

Und du willst mich also wirklich verlassen?

Hast du das auch gut durchdacht?

Die Nacht ist wunderbar,

Wenn man gut nachdenkt.

Der Himmel sternenklar

Weil das die Welt denkt.

Doch Sterne funkeln nicht

Falls man nicht brav bleibt.

Und die Gefahr nicht sieht

Auf die man zutreibt.

Ich mach dich jetzt fertig

Alles zu spät

Es gibt für dich keine Vergebung.

Für dich nicht mehr.

Für dich nicht mehr.

Aus. @bethanythestrange @wayward-cat @frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut @bigbonzo @inbetweenneeds

Ve̵̯̞̎̈́̀͑̂̓̽̕͝r̵̠͖̂̀̄́́̕l̵̡̬̹̙͕͍͙̜̂͌̾ǎ̸̹͔̅̈́͘s̶̢͎̮̝̭̫̞̏̒͛͗͜s̶̢͎̮̝̭̫̞̏̒͛͗͜e̵̯̞̎̈́̀͑̂̓̽̕͝ṋ̷͆̽̍͊ b̵̧̙̮̰̜̳̟͈̞̓̀͋̅̓̔ͅy̵̧̛̝͙̪̘͑͋͌͂̓͌̉ͅ Gr̵̠͖̂̀̄́́̕ǎ̸̹͔̅̈́͘ư̵̛̞̙̩͔̭̠̅̈́̊͆͝s̶̢͎̮̝̭̫̞̏̒͛͗͜ǎ̸̹͔̅̈́͘m̵̖͌̈́͜͠e̵̯̞̎̈́̀͑̂̓̽̕͝ Töc̶̡̙̙̞̊̅̋́̒̔̈̑̑h̶̨̢̺̪̻̱̞̓̓͊ͅt̵͎̳̠̏͐͒͆̐e̵̯̞̎̈́̀͑̂̓̽̕͝r̵̠͖̂̀̄́́̕