#keeps me on my damn toes good lord

[ghost-bard]

THE FUCKING DEATH WHISTLE???? WTHHHH THE ANIMALS TOO THATS SO FUCKING FREAKY UGHHH WHY DO I LISTEN TO EVERYTHING AT NIGHT

[norman-fucking-reedus]

I read your submissive Scud post and it literally had my foaming at the mouth. I was wondering if you would expand on that? (Especially the pegging part💀)

Thank you!! You’re awesome!!! I love your work!!

THE PEGGING THE PEGGING THE PEGGINGGGRAAAAHHHH 😝🎀🔥🦅🦅

We’re both foaming at the mouth okay I get the urge to fuck the shit out of him every hour of the day its not a want its a need I desire that I NEED THAT

Anyone who says Scud wouldn’t be into pegging needs to immediately get their eyes checked. That is a cock lover in the flesh. Like i’m telling you guys he loves to just get bent over any surface and be completely stuffed.

This brings me to my secret headcanon abt him, I firmly believe that he’s been double stuffed before. Maybe he bumped into some hot guys on a mission who he totally didn’t lure into the back of his van for them to literally ruin him, and he totally wasn’t getting his little throat and ass destroyed on all fours. Wrong guy. Not him. Never ever.

Now let’s not get it twisted Scud still loves women. Thing is, his cock has always had a lot more nerve endings than the average male, so he cums fairly quickly, but don’t worry because all of Norman’s characters come pre-equipped with pussy eating powers. And Scud is pussy eating machine. He wants it for breakfast lunch and dinner. He has to be forcibly removed and pried away before he thinks about stopping. The jaw cramps just means that hes doing the damn thing.

Back to the original topic.. When you first brought the idea up to Scud, he had absolutely no fucking clue what pegging was, until you dumbed it down for him, to which he almost immediately agreed. Getting his back blown out by a literal goddess? Umm, somebody better sign him up twice.

Now again, Scuds cock is a tender one, and good boys dont need to be cumming after a few thrusts, so you cutely and quietly stop that from happening. How?

“What’re ya tying?” Scud mumbled against your lips as he you looping something around his balls and the base of his cock, jerking slightly when you pulled the ribbon tightly, tying it into a small bow. “Just something special for you” You kiss him, and he needily kissed back, dick twitching from your gentle contact.

Scud gets very, very turned on by kisses. Especially ones that are deep and sloppy with lots of tongue and spit. He gets so drunk off them and it’s the easiest way to get him to submit, because lord he’d do anything you say just as long as you keep kissing him.

Okay the actual pegging part, Scud is not the foreplay type. He physically cannot take it and needs pleasure as soon as he can get it. He’ll whine and squirm as you finger him open, babbling out begs for you to hurry.

He likes to be fucked as if he were a literal ragdoll. Please pound into him as hard as you can, he needs it. He needs to be a moaning mess on the desk. Also Scud is so. fucking. loud. His whimpers and whines bounce off the walls for everyone to hear, and while yes kissing does work, yanking back on his choker works a lot better.

Scud has a choking kink to the max. A very dangerous one at that. He likes to be almost strangled, racing between his orgasm to see if he would cum or pass out first. His choked off gasps and sobs only get him fucked harder.

Oh and the ribbon. The amazing ribbon. When Scud’s orgasm starts to build, he can feel it in his gut, tingling in his toes and shooting through his spine, so close, getting closer and closer yet never quite falling off the edge. It starts to hurt, his dick starts to painfully twitch at the lack of release, whining loudly as you continued rocking into him, a smile pulling your lips. “Hey Scud. Wanna see how cool my cock is?”

He mumbles something out, lips glossy with spit as a small puddle started to form on the table. You fished a remote out from your pants pocket, clicking once, twice, glancing up to Scud’s twisting face. You swiftly pulled your hips back, leaving only the buzzing tip of the dildo before completely burying it all back into your boyfriend, pressing right into what you knew was his sweet spot from the lewd and loud whimpers that Scud couldn’t stop from coming out, each thrust sending his eyes so far into the back of his head.

Scuds cock ached, orgasm building so rapidly once again as you fucked him stupid, turning his brain into nothing but the sex clouded mess that it was made to be. When you amplify the vibrations speed, and it makes each snap of your hips pump pure ecstasy into his body, and he just needed so much more.

“Please, mmngh, please let me cum mommy, please fuck me so hard and let me cum,” He babbled, whimpers and moans tearing from his chest when he felt you increase your pace, skin slapping skin. “Is this what you want, hm baby? To be fucked like the dirt slut you are?” You cooed, leaning down over him. Scud brainlessly nodded against the table, choking on his words as he spoke. “Yes! Want mommy to pound me so deep- so, very fucking deep!” He gasped, shaking like a leaf when he felt the you pulling the ribbon loose, almost sobbing when his orgasm crashed over him finally, cumming harder than ever. You fucked him through it until he was twitching and whining, actually you fucked him until he came again, high moans spilling past his lips with every buzzing thrust to his sweet spot, so overstimulated and sensitive yet you just kept going.

Scud could barely keep his eyes open, groaning which each slap of your hips. You fucked him like he was your own sextoy, pulling orgasm after orgasm from him until he would just collapse, so used and destroyed. His toes curled at a particularly hard thrust, choking in surprise when you suddenly yanking his head back by his choker, holding him down onto your vibrating cock pressed blissfully into that bundle nerves inside him. Scud choked his moans and cries out, desperately rocking his hips as his third orgasm raced off the edge. Oh God, he was so fucking close, vision starting to turn black and his ears ringing as he practically fucked himself on your strap, orgasm slamming into him–

“Scud? Y/n?” Blade’s voice rang out from the hallway, and you quickly pulled out and away from Scud, who gripped the table as his orgasm continued washing over his whole body, bitting down on his lips as he muffled a pained yet so pleasured sob, hips thrusting into the air as ropes of white shot out from his swollen and totally untouched cock, “Fuckin’ hell Scud” You grumbled, shutting off the dildo and having to just stuff it in your underwear, pulling your pants up quickly and searching for anything to wipe up the mess you’ve created.

Blade approached the workshop, steps echoing throughout. You groaned when you couldn’t find anything, and settled for wheeling a chair ontop of it, shoving Scud in it so his still halfway exposed bottom was covered, leaning against the table as if everything was totally normal.

The man swung the workshop door open and lingered at the top of the stairs, staring down at you and Scud with a questioning face. “What are you two doing?” You shrugged, responding with a casual “Nothing.”

Blade’s eyes landed on Scud, who was still very visibly fucked out, eyes droopy and lust riddled, hair pushed back and messy, not to mention the bruises forming on his neck from his choker being pulled. “Mhm. Whenever you get done doing ‘nothing’, come find me” He spoke flatly, before turning and exiting the room, shutting the door behind him. You sighed in relief, glancing down at Scud and his ruined state.

You leaned down, tilting his head up to kiss him on his glossed lips, smiling playfully. “I am not done with you, Scudster”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

I got a little carried way I just need. I need. I need him guys.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

[satorubrain]

Back again 👀👀👀

How would Gojo react if his s/o dressed as him? Like he’s back from work or he walks in on them- can be up up you!

I can imagine the reader giggling to themselves while trying not to trip over Gojo’s trousers BC WHY IS HE SO TALL???

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Tags: Fluff, crack, reader is implied to be short but lets all agree that Satoru is just a fucking buff giant. Why is he built like that. I'll stop ranting-

Synopsis: Gojo sees you cosplaying as him

A/N: I had to add stupidity to this.

"Perfect!!" You exclaim styling your white hair wig. Now all that's remaining is, do work with Satoru's humongous clothes. He was already giant yet his uniform is fucking baggy, which just increases your problems.

The amount of pins you had to use to make his pants fit you already have your hands aching. His top is a fucking dress and you think you're gonna cry. But it's too late to stop. Continuing to put on the white mascara on your eyelashes and checking if the blindfolds fit you-

"FUCK YOU SATORU" You scream trying to get rid of the anger his size is giving you. You just want to get ready before he arrives home. You just tear up the blindfold since you're now too lazy to make proper adjustments, it's just easier if you tie up a knot.

Finally, you put on the ridiculous wig. Yes, it's absolutely absurd that you decided the wig hair length should make up for the difference in height.

Oh lord this get up is hilarious. You're shaking trying to control the laughter while looking at yourself in the mirror. Unwilling to ruin your mascara, you decide to get up and wait for Satoru in the living room. You text Satoru that you "need him" before putting on the blindfolds again, manspreading and sitting like him with a wide smile anticipating his arrival any time now.

It doesn't take him more than twenty minutes to hurriedly unlock your door. But this is not what he was envisioning, nonetheless he is not disappointed.

"Im hOO-" he stops mid sentence removing his blindfolds so he can properly look at you for a couple of seconds before bursting into his loud hyena laughter, clutching onto the door knob for support because lord you knocked the air out of his lungs in the most comical way. You would've looked so cute if it wasn't for that darned wig of yours.

"Laughing at the strongest? That's not a very good idea" You choke out trying to control your laughter, biting your inner cheek.

He's wheezing oh so loudly now and closing the door behind him, so he can go to you and sit beside you. He fails to form any sentence whenever he even glaces at you- both of you are now trying to control your laughter, just wanting to breathe for a moment.

"C-can I have a pic-" He wheezes so loudly he starts coughing and at this point both of you have tears of laughter running down your face.

"Yes you may, my dear FAN" you yell the newfound nickname with your cracking voice sending the both of you into another fit of laughter.

It takes you both a solid while to calm down before he can have a photoshoot with you while recording the entire thing with another camera so he doesn't miss out any moments.

You both also record a tiktok with team rocket's motto, but instead of meowth there's an abrupt cut of you tripping over his damned long pants and your wig falling off your head with a screech and him trying to save you- the video goes viral overnight.

What others don't see is how you tripping caused a loud rip of his pants from your toe till your knee as the stiff wig falls with a thud on the ground and you both are rolling on the floor laughing again.

You best believe this man has tucked away the clothes you wore today, as he would say, "to keep the memories safe" but lets ignore how he made the wig a table decoration.

I'm 5'3- so imagining a whole foot long wig standing is fucking killing me.

[REQUESTS ARE OPEN]

[MASTERLIST]

[choke-me-joey]

yeah im gonna steal that request… #2 with eddie picking reader up from cheerleading practice and she keeps staring at the tent in his pants 🤤

I tried to make this a little extra filthy just to make you feel better my Angel 🥰 I hope you like it! I love you ❤️

2. It's not gonna suck itself.

Eddie Munson x not your typical cheerleader reader

Content warning: 18+ content minors DNI, slightly pervy Eddie, blowjobs, deep throating, gagging, head pushing?? FINALLY VAN SMUT, public naughties I guess???, SLIGHT ANAL PLAY, swallowing

Hoevember/Dickcember masterlist

Eddie was already rock hard.

He couldn't help it; he'd arrived 10 minutes early to pick you up from cheer practice and now he was sat in his van, watching you on the field. Your skirt flipped exposing your untraditional black panties and he groaned, dick straining against his zipper. God you looked fucking good. His little rebel cheerleader. You weren't the stereotypical blonde clone of Chrissy Cunningham, fuck no, you were the complete polar opposite. You liked heavy metal, Lord of the Rings, DnD, weed and drinking on the weekends.

And most important of all, you loved Eddie when the entire school, aside from a select handful in the Hellfire Club, despised him.

You were his dream girl in a pleated skirt and matching hair bow.

Plus, you were fucking filthy.

Eddie groaned again and palmed his cock through his jeans as you jumped up into a perfect toe touch. That damn flexibility of yours. He got to enjoy it way more than anyone on that fucking squad would ever know.

He breathed a sigh of relief as practice finished and you spotted his van immediately, grabbing your bag and running over with a huge smile on your face.

"Hi, baby! Did you see my toe touch? I nailed it!" You exclaimed as you jumped into the passenger seat and pecked your boyfriend's lips.

"I saw it, beautiful, I'm so fucking proud of you!" Eddie grins. "Also, you looked sexy as hell out there."

"Perving on me, Eddie?" You smirk, doing up your seat belt. As your eyes travel down to help you see to fasten it, you can't help but notice the massive bulge in your boyfriend's jeans. Your thighs clench together and you bite your lip.

But it was a 20 minute drive to Eddie's trailer and the parking lot still had a couple of cars in it, so you would have to wait to pounce on him.

"Could ask you the same question, princess." Eddie chuckles, following your eyeline. "Sorry, baby, I can't help it. You know what that skirt does to me."

"Oh, I know." You smirk, eyes flicking down to his crotch again. "But maybe you can show me when we get home? Just to remind me."

"Can't wait that long, princess, been sat here hard as a fucking rock for about 15 minutes already, my balls are starting to hurt." Eddie fake pouts at you and you mirror him.

"Well...it's only a 10 minute drive to Lover's Lake..."

"I love that brain of yours." Eddie groans, putting the car into drive and backing out of his space, tyres squealing along the asphalt. Your eyes flick to his tented jeans once more. Eddie moves his hips forward slightly, clearing his throat. "It's not gonna suck itself."

"Shut up, I was getting to that." You laugh. "Just focus on getting us to the lake without crashing."

"Fuck, yeah." Eddie grins, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel as you unzip his jeans, not at all suprised when you see he's not wearing any underwear.

"You whore." You tease, reaching into his jeans and pulling his cock out. Poor baby really had been hard for a while, the mushroom head of his thick cock angry and reddish purple.

"Fuck, you love it," Eddie hisses, dick jumping as you press a kiss to the head. "Come on, baby, don't tease-"

You shut him up by swallowing him down quickly, which was not an easy feat. His dick slides down your throat and you keep it there for a few seconds, letting the hot flesh pulse in the tight constraints of your throat before you pull up for air, trails of spit keeping your lips and his dick attached. "Shit, sweetheart, gonna make me blow my load before we even get there, looking like that." Eddie sighs, with a quick glance down at your face before focusing back on the road.

You don't miss the way his knuckles turn white as he grips steering wheel as you wrap your hand around his cock, jerking him as you suck on the head, flicking it with your tongue the way he loves. "Jeeeesus Christ, babe," Eddie hisses between clenched teeth as he nearly rams into the car in front stopped at a red light. You hum out a little chuckle and in retaliation he pushes your head down, albeit gently, forcing you to take more of him. Luckily you've given Eddie plenty of blowjobs so you're well trained in taking him, even if you do gag slightly around his thick length. Eddie swears loudly, stepping on the gas, trying his best not to cum before he had a chance to park up and enjoy himself.

As soon as you reach the lake, Eddie slams the van into park, cutting the engine. He lifts his hips and pulls down his soaked jeans and you immediately dive back in, sucking his balls into your mouth as your hand continues to stroke him.

"Fuck, look at that, got Hawkin's hottest cheerleader sucking on my balls, you're fucking filthy babe." Eddie groans, stroking a few loose bits of hair away from your face that had escaped your obligatory cheer pony. You roll your eyes, releasing his left ball from your mouth with a soft 'pop' and moving to the right one to give it the same treatment. Eddie throws his head back against the seat, moaning at the roof of the van.

"Hey, eyes on me handsome," you remind him with a quick bite to his inner thigh. Eddie jumps a little, making you both laugh. "Want you to cum down my throat, 'kay?"

"If a day ever comes where I don't wanna do that when you ask me, just shoot me baby cos I'm already dead inside." Eddie quips, and you shoot him a grin before taking his cock into your mouth again, moving your head up and down quicker than before, the velvety skin slick with your spit - just how he liked it. "Fuck me, you're such a good girl, swallowing down my cock like it's nothing, guess I taught you well, huh?"

You moan in response, the vibrations adding to the building tension in Eddie's balls. He liked to think he had pretty good control over his orgasms, managing to hold back whenever he wanted to you cum first, but when your finger slipped below his balls to his perineum, lubing up his hole with spit and pushing in gently, he lost it, slamming his cock down your throat and cumming so hard he saw stars. "Fucking hell-!"

You were unable to hide the smug look on your face as you pulled off his cock, swallowing everything he had given you. Eddie sat in the drivers seat staring at you, pants around his thighs, dick and balls covered in saliva and a little bit of cum that had escaped your mouth. His face was flushed and sweaty. He looked absolutely fucked.

"What the fuck was that?!" He panted, chest heaving. "Did you...you put a finger in my ass!"

"Just the tip!" You grinned. "Besides you said you wanted to try it, and you really fucking liked it-"

"I'm not saying I didn't, babe, but a little warning next time? I'm gonna need a bit more recovery time before I fuck you now."

"Well, if it makes us even, you can put a finger in my ass when you do." You grin, sliding off your panties from under your skirt and climbing over the centre console into the back of the van, making sure Eddie got a full view of your glistening cunt and perky ass. "Maybe more if you're lucky."

"Oh baby, I'm feeling very fucking lucky right now."

[hauntedwitch04]

Foxy and little star

Nyx Acheron x reader

Words: about 1.3k words

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, public places, sassy cousin ;)

Author’s note: Hi loves! I finally managed to write some more after the crazy week I had. Hope you like it, your witch Becky

Requests are open I Ask

My masterlist

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If you like my works, consider to buy me a coffee - Patreon submission

KINKTOBER ...........-..........KINKTOBER TAGLIST 2023

DAY 8: Public Sex

"Nyx, not here, everyone will see us." You whisper in his ear as you feel his lips on your neck, and already you feel your common sense failing.

"Even better, so they will all know that you are mine, and mine alone." Comments the young prince of Night, as he confidently and quickly lifts your hips to place your legs around his waist.

You know it's a silly idea, and that anyone could walk down this hallway into the Court of Nightmares at any moment, but right now it seems like the least of the problems, too busy to get to the pleasure you've been craving since you set foot in the Throne Room.

It's been almost a year now that you and Nyx have been dating, but you both still haven't had the courage to tell your parents because it hasn't seemed easy to even tell your friends, let alone tell the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court and the High Lord of the Autumn Court.

Immediately your mind, which had been lost in these details, comes back down to earth at feeling your beloved, taking off your panties, the only barrier dividing you at this moment. His lips are still on your neck, so eager, you pull him by the hair and match your mouth with his, hungry to taste the flavor of his lips. Still caught in that kiss, you feel him bring his cock toward your entrance. He pulls away slightly and gasps for you.

"Are you ready?" He asks, looking at you with his amethyst-colored eyes that first made you fall in love.

"Hurry up and show me the stars, little star, we don't have much time." You respond, kissing his nose, then his chin, and then his neck to leave the same marks he had left on you.

"As my lady wishes." He replies, before pushing his member inside you. You feel you can really touch the sky with your finger at that same moment. The pleasure your body feels is indescribable, and you find yourself biting hard on his shoulder to keep the sounds of your moans from echoing through the corridors of that cursed city and all his subjects from hearing the name of the one who causes you so much pleasure.

"By Mother, Foxy, when I saw you come in in this dress, I thought I cum at that same moment." Confesses Nyx, as she increases the speed of her thrusts, making you scratch even harder at the midnight blue jacket she is wearing this evening.

"That makes two of us starlets, you don't know how much I wanted to throttle all those bimboes in front of me who were commenting on how damn good-looking and sexy you look in this jacket, which shows off your whole body." You whisper, tugging at his hair again to make your gaze meet his. "Then I remembered who would have the pleasure of rolling around in the covers with you, moaning your name, kissing and biting you, and leaving the marks of his ownership tonight, and I pitied those poor fools." You continue, as you hear him let out a sigh of pleasure.

"Well, we're not exactly between silk sheets love." He comments, as he feels the walls of your pussy squeeze him tightly, letting him know that he is only a short time away from experiencing that extreme pleasure you have been waiting for so long.

"The night is still long, little star." You comment, with a groan, as you tighten your legs even tighter around her waist. "Nyx, I'm going to-"

"I know Foxy, let go and cum for me." He whispers, as you tip your head back against the cold wall of the hallway, and let shivers run through your body caused by both the contact of the cold wall with your warm body and the orgasm your lover causes you. You curl your toes as from your mouth like a prayer that only the two of you know begins to fall his panting name.

Nyx, shortly after you also reaches pleasure, releasing all his hot seed inside you, just in time, because you hear footsteps coming from the beginning of the hallway.

You are not yet totally lucid, still under the effect of the 'mind-blowing orgasm you had a few seconds ago, when you see Hecate, Nyx's cousin, appear.

"Are you all right? You've been missing forever, and we thought one had been sick." She comments worriedly, then changes her expression to a questioning one. "What are you doing here together? The last time you saw each other you swore to kill each other if one even felt the same oxygen as the other." She asks with a smirk as she looks at her cousin, who not so surreptitiously gives her a middle finger.

"Foxy felt sick and I was giving her a hand to go toward the bathroom to freshen up." Nyx lies, as she wraps an arm around your waist. You play along with him and pretend you can't stand, which isn't entirely untrue because after the pleasure the boy gave you, you only partially feel your legs.

Hecate nodded and headed back the way she came, making us believe she had bought that poor excuse we had made up, saying she would tell the others, and then pausing, just before disappearing from our sight and commenting with a smirk.

"However guys, next time if I were you, I would be more careful about leaving your personal items, like your "Foxy" panties, which are hanging from the chandelier above you." Immediately you look up and see that your friend is right. You feel your cheeks grow hot as you can't find the courage to look her in the eye. "I hope you used protection, I'm too young to be an aunt." She finishes before walking away and leaving us alone again.

"Well what can I say, we had almost succeeded." Nyx finally comments, chuckling, as with a gesture, shadows bring the underpants that were hanging from the chandelier into his hand. You snatch them out of his hand, before putting them back on, and immediately punch him lightly in the chest.

"This is for being so profligate and not taking my advice." You say, and before he can complain about what you told him. "And this is for the best orgasm of my life." You say before you kiss him, passionately and deeply. You feel his warm lips dance on yours, before pulling away to catch your breath.

"And I who for a moment had doubted our date tonight, to make your dream come true." He comments, chuckling after again feeling another light punch from you on his chest.

BONUS (I know, I could make oneshots just for bonuses :) )

"And who was right again?" Hecate says, humming as she approaches the most powerful group of people in all of Prythian, who look at her bored, others laughing.

Eris approaches, high-fiving her as her Uncle Rhys, not very happily, tosses her a coin that you, he and the High Lord of Autumn had bet on the relationship between their two sons.

"Never mess with an Acheron." Commented the girl's mother, Nesta, as she watched her giggling, recounting the scene to all who were present.

"Believe me, I know honey." Cassian whispers, tightening his arm around his wife's waist, then returning to his daughter's tale.

TAGLIST

@b7717 @forsiriussake @ohemgeewhat @123345566 @lust4lucille @lisamanban123 @shodowbane09

[onestevetogo]

Lord of the Abridged: Tower Power

Frodo - I miss Gandalf.

Sam - I am a packmule.

Gollum - I have somehow hunted the ring better than nine wraith assassins.

Frodo - I hate this ring.

Gollum - Gimme the ring!

Frodo - I’ll give you the Sting.

Gollum - Oh no.

Frodo - Gollum, lead us to Mordor.

Gollum - That’s a terrible idea.

Sam - That’s a terrible idea.

Frodo - This is a great idea.

Orcs - We’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Pippin - I want some nice crispy bacon.

Merry - I am sick.

Orcs - Here’s a homemade family recipe.

Merry - yucky.

Oruk - You’re yucky :(

Oruk - wait…

Oruk - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - They noticed my manflesh.

Gimli - This distance is physically twice for me as it is for everyone else. #DurinsFolkStruggles

Legolas - They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Saruman - Nothing could possibly go wrong with the arrangement I have with my new best friend Sauron.

Sauron - I don’t know who that weird goth dude is but keep him a good ten feet from me.

Orcs - We demand rest!

Oruk - Damn unions.

Orcs - We demand good food!

Oruk - Let them eat cake.

Dave - I want to take a bite of a hobbit! A hobbite!

Oruk - Scum! *killing noises*

Dave - *getting killed noises*

Orcs - We demand Dave!

Oruk - You drive a hard bargain.

Merry - Crawly crawly.

Pippin - Sneaky sneaky.

Dave’s cousin also named Dave - I demand a hobbite!

Rohirrim - We’re a traveling play. Wanna see our act?

Orcs - *Dies*

Oruk - *Dies*

Hobbits - Cliffhanger!

Aragorn - We’ve been running all night.

Legolas - Man, I’d love to see a play.

Rohirrim - We’re a traveling play. Wanna see our act? All it needs is a dead dwarf.

Legolas - How dare you threaten the life of my best buddy in the whole wide world!

Aragorn - …

Rohirrim -…

The horses - …

Gimli -…

Aragorn - Have you seen some orcs? They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard.

Eomer - They’re dead. Dead as hell. If your kids were there, they’re dead too. We can’t tell the difference.

Aragorn - oh shit.

Legolas - oh shit.

Gimli - oh shit.

Witch king - *stubbed toe screeching*

Frodo - Oh no! It’s Mister Stabby!

Gollum - It’s cool. They suck at their jobs.

Witch king - *Screeches elsewhere*

Gollum - Don’t follow the lights.

Frodo - You’re not my mom.

Ghosts - Hey little halfling. Want some candy?

Frodo - I love candy!

Ghosts - Hahaha! It wasn’t candy at all!

Frodo - *Ghostly drowning noises*

Gollum - What did I just say?

Merry - Is Dave still chasing us?

Pippin - DAVE, ARE YOU STILL CHASING US?!?!

Merry - wtf, Pippin?

Dave - I’m still chasing you!

Treebeard - Gimme the hobbits.

Dave - *Roadkill noises*

Treebeard - I’m a tree with a beard! Guess my name!

Merry -…

Pippin - Dave?

Aragorn - Where’s the hobbits?

Gimli - I found a dead orc!

Aragorn - That’s not a hobbits!

Legolas - Ew don’t touch it.

Gandalf - I’m gonna scare the shit out of these three.

Gandalf - *Lightshow*

Aragorn - Holy shit!

Legolas - Holy shit!

Gimli - Holy shit!

Gandalf - Lmao. Let’s go to Rohan.

Theoden - mnmmnbnbmmmm.

Grima - He says he doesn’t like you.

Gandalf - Theoden? More like Theodumb.

Theodumb - bffbmmnm.

Grima - He says your shoes are raggedy and your staff looks like a pleasurable instrument.

Gandalf - wizardwhocantgetlaidsayswhat

Sarumon - What?

Gandalf - Lmao.

Saruman - PAIN!

Gandalf - PAIN!

Saruman - Egad!

Theoden - *Grasps his killing stick* I’m Theodone.

Grima - I’m Theodead.

Sarumon - If he wants pain, I’ll show him some pain.

Grima - How?

Sarumon - I’ve grown several thousand muscular, voracious hunks who will do anything I tell them.

Grima - Good for fighting?

Sarumon - …

Grima - For fighting, right?

Theoden - Let’s go to Helm’s Deep.

Aragorn - Yes, nothing could go wrong.

Gandalf - Deuces.

Gimli - I’ve had like five lines and zero agency in this movie so far.

Legolas - It’s hard being a princess. ✨✨

Aragorn - Hey you’re pretty good with that sword.

Eowyn - I will literally have your child right here in this hallway.

Legolas - :O

Gimli - :O

Sméagol - :O

Sarumon - :O

Morgoth - :O

Eru Illuvitar - :O

Tom Bombadil - :O

That one orc head on a spear - :O

Anyone with half a brain cell - :O

Aragorn - She seems nice.

Gollum - *Having a meltdown*

Gollum.exe has stopped working.

Gollum - Rebooting.

Sméagol - Sméagol.exe.

Sméagol - …

Sméagol - It’s wabbit season.

Orcs - We’re a traveling band! Wanna hear our latest single “Omnom”?

Rohan Soldiers - “Omnom”?

Wargs - Omnomnomnom!

Soldiers - *Fighting*

Eowyn - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - *To orc Uber* I will pay you to throw me off this cliff.

Orc taxi - A dollar’s a dollar!

Aragorn - *Flying king noises*

Sméagol - It’s fish season.

Gondorites - It’s little gremlin season.

Frodo - Hol up. He’s a little weird but he’s aight.

Faramir - I was going to kill you but didn’t. There’s no other information I can offer here that could improve future events.

Sméagol - *Dramatically* I’ve been betrayed!

Faramir - Tell me what I want to know.

Sméagol - Gollum.exe

Merry - Take the hobbits to Isengard!

Treebeard - No.

Merry - Aw man.

Treebeard - What’s this? Deforestation?! HRAGBLAGMIMGONNAKILLTHATLITTLESHIT!

Merry - Yay!

Treebeard - We all might die but that’s okay!

Merry - Y…yay?

Aragorn - *Dramatic Entrance*

Eowyn. - Take me right here.

Aragorn - Orcs.

Theoden - Orcs?!

Gimli - These are Uruk Hai!

Uruk - Uruk hi!

Theoden - So it begins.

It - *beginning*

Gimli - Two already!

Legolas - I’m on seventeen!

Gimli - That’s not fair fighting!

Legolas - :)

Gimli - Fighting, right?

5 days later:

Theoden - This is too much fighting!

Aragorn - Let’s fight some more.

Theoden - Sounds good bestie!

Gandalf - PAIN!

Eomer - PAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

Gandalf - Oh shit.

Orcs - Oh shit.

Treebeard - Orc mush! Mush orc!

Treesbeard - Reverse veganism!

Sarumon - Sauron pick me up I’m scared

Legolas - We’re alive!

Soldiers - We’re alive!

Eowyn - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - *hiding king noises*

Gandalf - That was close.

Frodo - Something just happened.

Faramir - Run little child thing. Be free.

Hobbits - *Scampering off*

Faramir - I feel like there’s something I forgot to do.

Later :

Gollum - I’m gonna murder these hobbits.

Credits

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

Random-Ass Benny Miller Relationship HCs

And yes, they all involve him being a hot dumb himbo bc I have brainrot and @sofietargaryen is an enabler.

- Benny tries to high-five after sex. He want’s another one after you sigh and actually give one to him. This could go on for minutes, he’ll just keep pointing out “cool things” you did that made his highlight reel

- One day he’d randomly put a gold star sticker on your shirt and when you’d ask what it was for he’d say "for sucking my soul out through my cock last night bc damn, that was— HEY DON'T HIT ME WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! PUT YOUR STICKER BACK ON, BABE C’MON!"

- Benny would proudly announce that the reason you were both late was because y'all were boning and Frankie would be like "THIS IS YOUR GOD-DAUGHTER'S BAPTISM WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU"

- "THIS IS THE LORD'S HOUSE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS"

- (Santi would just be like "no that's a valid excuse boning takes the time it takes")

- Benny would ask for sex coupons (redeem for 10 minutes of letting my hit it from the back, etc) for his birthday and try to redeem them at the most inappropriate times

- "I'm not letting you motorboat me right now" 

"but BABE" 

"WE ARE AT WILL’S REHEARSAL DINNER. YOUR PARENTS ARE RIGHT THERE"

- He’d want to hang out with you while you pee. Good luck trying to close/lock the door to keep him out bc boy will see this as a lock picking challenge and end up ruining your bobby-pins

-Weirdo would try to lace his toes with yours and get so confused/offended when you kick his foot away.

-He’ll try to sext you while you’re in the same room as him.

-He’ll also sext you when you’re mad but he’ll try and appeal to your kinks to make you forgive him.

- “Can we leave, I’m bored.”

“We are on a commercial air flight.”

“So ‘no’, then?”

- You’ll have to become an award winning actor when you both are at a party and he texts you ‘u up?’ or ‘what r u wearing?’ or ‘damn without me?’ like BOY I SWEAR TO GOD I’M TRYING TO TALK TO MY BOSS

-”Are you mad at me?”

“No, what are you talking about?”

“You’re being quiet—”

“WE ARE AT THE MOVIES BENJAMIN TF”

[akinmablog]

Nautilus thoughts and minor episode 10 reaction (Spoilers, obviously)

ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT

It was more than I ever hoped for

I adore that it really is an origin story for Nemo. He's different from who we know him to be because he's yet to become that man, but there are moments when we see him beginning.

I am so happy that Humility wasn't some useless British lady which was admittedly one of my biggest fears for the show. She has a brain and opinions and heart and is just lovely.

I know that they're setting Nemo and Humility up for their romance, which I am all for, but I gotta say Kai and Loti have won my heart right now. He is an adorable malewife and she is That Bitch.

I did not expect what they did to Aadesh. Had me on my toes the whole time because of it.

I feared for Archie's wellbeing the entire time, not gonna lie

Blaster is just adorable and I will hunt down Lord Prat - Oops, I mean Prit - if it's the last thing I do.

Creepy Crawley, you're gonna catch these hands.

Jagadish, Benoit, I will never forget you! *sobs*

What is up with Jiacomo? Where was he from? I know he was an asylum patient, but there's obviously more to it than that. Was it electroshock therapy? Even lobotomised, possibly? Either way, I loved him!

Suyin is Mother and no one will hurt her babies! (If anything happens to her, I will riot)

Turan. Oh, Turan. From his bad poetry to his romancing a weird sea insect queen, he is just adorable.

Ranbir you went through so much, sweet boy, let me give you a hug.

Boniface, firstmate of the Nautilus, you are a great and wonderful man and I hope you find your brother, you sweet little cupcake!!

Cuff, I don't trust you after what you did!

Youngblood seems okay so far but I am keeping my eyes on you, captain!

Billy? Billy?! BILLY!!!!

The cricket scene was brilliant. I just wish we got to see them beat up the other crew more.

The fight scene in episode 9 was awesome. I loved seeing the Norse characters have their own little story arc, too.

"I'm gonna burn the whole damn company to the ground." SWOONING SOMEBODY CATCH ME.

"This is about bringing down the company." YES RANBIR!

"Not quite nothing." That's my boy, Turan!

Nemo hiding in plain sight as Crawley thinks he's got the upperhand? Oh, Nemo, stop making me fall in love with you!

Using gossip and slander as a weapon? Oh, this is good. Too good.

The whole montage in episode 10 was brilliant. So well done.

Jerico Baker jumping in to buy the mine made me giggle.

Oh my god, he was in on it! So clever. Captain Nemo, you devil you.

BYE CRAWLEY WON'T MISS YOU

Not the man's wig falling off, how embarrassing

Girl, good for you! Even if I am officially jealous.

Blaster's reaction to the kiss lmao

We should - We shOUlD - Humility, same.

"I care for you. More than I know how to tell you." MY HEART!

The final confrontation was wonderful.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER YOU GIANT PRAT! KICK HIS ASS LOTI!

"That's my girl." DAMN RIGHT LADIES!

I swear to god, Crawley, you and me - outside - right now!

YOUNGBLOOD! NOOOOO! I WAS SO WRONG TO DOUBT YOU!

He did it for Blaster. He did it for Nathaniel!

YOUNGBLOOD! NATHANIEL! RANBIR!

"Thank you, Mr Harris." Oh look now I'm heartbroken.

Oh, Kai. The worse thing is that he knows, on some level at least, that Nemo is right and that's what's really heartbreaking.

Aww, Loti and Humility. That's my girls!

Wait, is that - are they - is he - OH MY GOD!

A CLIFFHANGER? IT ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER? (I was warned about there being a cliffhanger, FYI) BUT A CLIFFHANGER!!! *aggressively shakes laptop*

My beautiful ocean-based found family I love you and I miss you all already!!!

[atinylittlepain]

Firehouse Harrington - Chapter 6

fireman!Steve x f!reader/f!oc

series masterlist

It's Thanksgiving and Steve is trying to be better for his girl (what's new?) but he's going to be tested when someone from his past comes to visit.

warnings | 18+ SMUT, actually pretty sweet sex but also some nasty stuff too bc... it's steve, angst, EMOTIONS everywhere, my lord

a/n | um, this one is long, babes. but it's also very sweet, at least for steve. enjoy :)

It’s Thanksgiving day, and Steve’s at the station, and in the doghouse. He was supposed to be spending today with his girl, but when he got back to work on Monday and the chief was asking who could pick up Thanksgiving, Steve had volunteered himself like he always did, not even thinking about how this year he actually had someone he could spend the day with. When he called her that night and admitted what he had done, the disappointment in the sigh she let out went right down his spine. Since last week, Steve had been trying to be on his best behavior. It had scared him, watching her get ready to walk out the door and never come back, mostly because he hadn’t realized just how much it’d destroy him if she actually did it. He knew it was inevitable, she’d find something better, if not someone better, and she would leave. But Steve wanted to hang onto her as long as he could, keep chasing that ray of sun until he was left back in the shade. However, it was seeming that no matter how hard he tried, he just kept fucking up.

“Well, okay, Steve. I guess we could do it on Saturday instead? Why don’t we invite Robin to join us too? She told me she’d be back in town after Friday.” Steve had tried not to groan at that. He really didn’t like that she and Robin seemed to have become fast friends. His jaw had all but dropped on the floor when she had jokingly called him “king Steve” one day, telling him with a laugh that Robin had shared a few memories with her. But, he was trying to be better, and being better meant agreeing to having Robin over for their makeshift Thanksgiving.

The actual holiday was always a bit of a clusterfuck for the station. Idiots trying to deep fry their birds seven different ways, grandmas setting off smoke alarms with cigars from the “old country,” and for some reason, hoosiers had a particular affinity for setting off fireworks after they were good and stuffed with butter and carbs. They had several calls throughout the day, but by the time seven o’clock rolled around, the city of Indianapolis seemed to be good and sedated by turkey, and Steve and the other men working that day were finally pulling back into the station for hopefully the last time that night. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was to see someone sitting on the stoop outside the door to the station. As they’re stepping down from the truck, the person rounds the corner of the garage and Steve’s heart kicks in his chest when he sees that it’s his girl, all bundled up in the frigid night and carrying two large bags that Steve recognizes from the burger joint down the block. He’s left speechless as she toes her way into the garage, a small smile on her face as she tilts her head at him, lifting up the bags.

“It’s not exactly turkey, but I figure it’ll do under the circumstances.” The other two men Steve’s working with tonight are young rookies, all the older men having family to be at home with, and they're watching her like she’s a damn angel descending from heaven. Steve finally cracks into action, a grin splitting his face as he takes one of the bags from her and wraps an arm around her waist.

“Miller, Thompson, this is my girl.”

…

Luckily, because they are rookies, the two other men have yet to get steeped in the misogyny that runs rampant in the station, and are nothing but polite to her as they welcome her in and help her lay out food on the kitchen counter. Steve would normally hate the idea of her coming around here, but with the rest of the crew gone, and after another stupidly tedious holiday shift, all he can do is smile like a dope as she feeds him a french fry. His two coworkers thank her profusely, loading their arms up with food and heading to their bunks to give the couple “some alone time.” Steve barely nods at their words, too focused on her leaning back against the counter and sipping a milkshake. Once the two men are gone, Steve finally clears his throat.

“Um– I wasn’t– you” She just laughs, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Just eat your burger, Harrington. You can thank me later.”

They sit on the grubby sofa in the station, eating and talking quietly. Steve tells her about the man who had tried to build his own deep fryer and ended up setting off a small explosion in his backyard that sent his turkey flying through an upstairs window of the house next door. Her laugh is contagious and they both end up gasping for breath at the ridiculousness of the story. Steve can’t remember the last time he laughed so hard. 

Food wrappers abandoned, they both slump back into the couch, heads tilted lazily to look at each other. He brings his palm down to stroke up and down her thigh, letting out a sigh.

“Thank you. For this. You didn’t have–” She cuts him off, scooting closer and resting her hand on his chest.

“Steve, I wanted to. And you’re very welcome.” For once, he drops it, simply smiling and dipping forward to drop a quick kiss to her lips before pulling back.

“Did you, uh, talk to your folks today?” She nods. She had explained to him that her family lived across the country on the west coast and while she was still on talking terms with them, she avoided going home as much as possible. Steve could certainly understand that.

“Yeah, I did. I told them about you.” His heart jolts up into his throat at her words, eyebrows raising. He squeezes her thigh.

“You did?” She smiles, nodding again.

“Mmhmm. My sister thinks it’s hot that you’re a fireman.” He sputters out a laugh, shaking his head, but she seems to have something else in mind, carding her fingers through his hair to get him to look at her.

“I’m inclined to agree with her.” With that, she’s shifting on the couch to swing her leg over his hip, straddling his thighs and wrapping her arms around his neck. Steve’s hands instinctively go to the plush of her thighs, fingers flexing. She’s already nosing along his neck, making Steve shiver, but he collects himself enough to speak, making her still in his lap.

“Hey, hey. We can’t, baby. Not here with those guys just a wall away.” She whines into his neck.

“Steve–”

“No. I’m serious, doll, you better watch it.” She huffs, and when she finally pulls back from his neck, she gives him an actual pout that he can’t help but surge forward to kiss away. But when he pulls back, there’s a new glint in her eyes. She leans forward, grazing her lips along his ear before whispering.

“What if we took this somewhere else, Stevie?” He both hates and loves it when she calls him that and it makes him groan. 

“You know I can’t leave the station, baby.” She grins.

“Who said anything about leaving the station?”

That’s how Steve finds himself in the jumpseat of one of the firetrucks with her in his lap, gasping between sloppy kisses as he squeezes her ass to grind her down against him. He pulls back with a lewd pop, looking into her wild eyes.

“You know, doll, I didn’t get any dessert.” She doesn’t seem to follow where he’s going with this, scoffing and rolling her eyes.

“Are you serious right now? Steve, you had a milkshake, was that not sweet enough for–” She’s cut off when he lands a harsh smack to her ass, making her gasp and lurch forward into his chest.

“Watch that tone, pretty. And what I want a taste of is a lot sweeter than any milkshake.” His other hand digs into the front of her jeans, cupping her wet heat and she seems to get it now, whimpering out a soft “oh” at his harsh touch. He strokes through her folds, dipping his fingers into her entrance and dragging the wetness pooling there up to her clit as she grinds down into his palm. He presses a kiss to her temple before dragging his lips along her cheek to speak into her ear.

“Stand up, baby. We’re gonna switch spots and then daddy’s gonna have his dessert.” He helps her up, not missing how shaky she seems to be on her legs, before helping her peel off her jeans and panties as she sits back in the car seat. Steve kneels between her legs, pressing a kiss to the inside of each of her knees before drawing them over his shoulders and dragging her ass to the edge of the seat. It’s cramped, there’s no two ways about it, her feet pressing into the wall of the cab behind him and her hands trying to find purchase on the roof of the truck as he starts to work her over. She’s a writhing mess as he licks long, lazy strokes through her folds, sighing and huffing above him. He leans back just to spit on her cunt, watching the way it drips down to mix with her own wetness. She whimpers under his hard gaze.

“Daddy, please don’t tease me– need it bad.” He chuckles before landing a slap to the inside of her thigh, causing her to yelp.

“Don’t be pushy, doll. Daddy’s gonna take all the time he wants. Because this pretty little pussy is all mine, yeah?” She nods, letting out a breathy “mmhmm” when he kisses her clit.

“And I can do whatever I want with it, right, baby?” She nods again, but he wants more from her and lays a quick smack against her clit that makes her hips buck in his hold. It’s a whine when she speaks.

“Yes, daddy. S’all yours– you can do whatever you want– just, please–” He shushes her.

“S’okay, pretty. I’ve got you. So fucking sweet. Daddy’s gonna take care of you.” His last words come out a murmur as he dips back into her cunt, licking into her before sweeping up to her clit and sucking hard around the little bud. The moan she lets out makes his brain go hazy with her as she drags her fingers through his hair, pulling lightly at the roots as he continues to lick at her clit. She starts to grind her hips against his mouth and Steve groans.

“That’s it, doll. Take what you want. Fuck, you taste so good.” She preens at his words, arching out of the car seat as he slips two fingers into her. 

“Feels so good, daddy– p-please don’t stop.” He can feel her already tightening up on his fingers as he pumps them into her.

“You close, baby? You gonna come on daddy’s fingers?” She nods frantically, her eyes scrunched shut as she lets out a high-pitched “mmhmm.” 

“I want your eyes on me when you come. Open those pretty eyes for me, doll.” When she doesn’t listen, he slips his other hand up her front to harshly grip her jaw, making her eyes shoot open as she gasps at the pain.

“That’s it, pretty. Eyes on me.” He dips back down, sucking and nipping at her clit while he fucks her with his fingers. She comes with a broken sigh, hips jerking in his hold as she spasms around his fingers. Steve thinks he could die happy in this position, between the softness of her thighs with the pretty sounds of her breathy whimpers ringing in his ears. He finally pulls away, leaving a sloppy kiss to each of her thighs. As he wipes her slick from his chin with the back of his hand, he takes in the sight of her, flushed and slumped down in the seat. She quirks an eyebrow at him.

“Your sweet tooth satisfied now?” He grins palming his aching hardness as he looks her over.

“Way better than pumpkin pie.”

…

“Steve? Can you go pick up the pumpkin pie this morning? The bakery opens at ten but I need to get to work on all this cooking.” He cranes his neck from where he’s sitting on the couch, his heart squeezing at the sight of her in his kitchen. She’s the sweetest image in one of his sweatshirts, an apron tied around her hips hiding the fact that she’s also only wearing a pair of his boxers. But his attention is quickly pulled to the seeming bomb of ingredients that’s gone off across his countertops. He gets up, shuffling into the kitchen and watching her poring over a cookbook.

“Yeah, I’ll go, um– are you sure we need to make this much food? S’just you, me, and Robin.” She stills where she had been flipping through the book. 

“Babe? It is just you, me, and Robin, right?” She finally looks at him, offering a very nervous little smile. Steve feels like he’s going to blow a gasket already but she’s quick to slide over to him in her socked feet, pressing her palms into his chest and rubbing lightly.

“Look, don’t freak out, ok? But Robin told me one of your other friends was in town this weekend and I may have told her to invite him.” Steve blinks hard a few times.

“You what?” She huffs.

“Steve, don’t get weird. He’s a friend of yours after all.”

“He? Who– who is he?” She furrows her brow.

“Crap, I can’t actually remember his name. Um, something Munyan– wait, no– uh, Munroe?” Steve’s jaw goes slack.

“Are you telling me Eddie Munson is coming to dinner?” Her face splits into a grin and she slaps his chest lightly.

“That’s it! Robin told me it’s been a while since he’s been back in Indiana so it’ll be nice for you all to catch up.” She’s smiling so brightly at him it’s hard to stay mad at her. Steve’s taken to counting to ten to keep himself from saying things he knows he shouldn’t. It works, sometimes. He finally huffs, scrunching his eyes shut before looking at her again and nodding.

“Alright, alright. I’ll um– I guess I’ll go get that pie.” She lands a quick kiss to his lips, grinning up at him again.

“Good. Be quick, yeah? You’re on turkey duty.”

…

The later in the day it gets, the tighter the knot in Steve’s stomach winds. He hasn’t seen Eddie in years, not since Steve went overseas. All he knew was that Eddie had moved down south, seeking the money that was to be made working the oil rigs in the gulf of Mexico. He never wrote, never called, and he figured that Eddie liked it that way, putting everything behind him and Steve couldn’t blame him for that. 

The only thing keeping Steve sane is her, dancing around him in the kitchen, a swirl of chopping vegetables and filling up casserole dishes. He’s never cooked a turkey before, never any reason to, but he takes to the task diligently because he wants to impress her. The sun is just starting to set as he leans back against the counter, bird in the oven and dish towel over his shoulder. He swats her hands away as she goes to peek into the oven and she scoffs at him.

“S’almost done, baby, go get changed.” She smiles, looking down at her now smudged-up apron over her pantsless legs.

“Get changed? What’s wrong with this?” He slides over to her, grabbing her hips and squeezing as she laughs in his grip. He plants a few mushy kisses to her lips, murmuring about how she’s “such a menace” in between them until she finally pulls away to saunter into his bedroom with a huff. A sting runs through his chest as, for a moment, he can imagine them doing this for the rest of their lives, his mind wandering to the image of a baby on her hip as they shuffle around their kitchen. He has to scrub a harsh hand through his hair to clear the thought from his mind. 

His brain is further scattered when the doorbell rings. Steve freezes, but luckily she’s just then coming back out of his bedroom wearing that dress he loves, fixing an earring as she marches over to the door. 

Steve hears him before he sees him. First there’s the sound of her and Robin greeting each other. But Steve would recognize that raspy voice anywhere.

“Well, hello. You must be the catch Robs has been telling me about. Blink twice if Harrington’s holding you against your will.” Yep, that’s Munson alright.

Eddie comes flouncing into the kitchen, her and Robin following behind. Steve thinks that he looks about the same. His hair is a little shorter, but otherwise, he’s still got that shit-eating grin that Steve remembers. Eddie’s eyes crinkle when he sees Steve, already opening his arms up for a hug that Steve was not expecting.

“Long time no see, big boy, bring it in.” 

They get all the food laid out on the dining table, everyone humming at how good everything looks and Steve feels a warm bloom of pride in his chest that he did this, with his girl, together. She squeezes his hand as they all sit down, offering him a smile and Steve thinks for a minute that it’ll be alright after all. And then Eddie opens his mouth.

“So Robin told me you’re, like, super smart. Is that why you’re with Steve? Are you running experiments on him?” Steve would like to drag him across the table and knock his lights out right then, but she takes it in stride, laughing politely.

“Oh, god, no. It’s, um, actually kinda funny how we met. Steve was on duty when there was a fire in my dorm and, uh, the rest is history I guess.” It’s a total lie, and Steve loves her for it as she glances at him out of the corner of her eye, a small reassurance. 

The rest of the dinner goes off as smooth as it can. Eddie tells them about his time down in the gulf (“back-breaking stuff, man. I still get the heebies anytime I fill up my car”) and explains that he’s planning on coming back to Indiana for good, using the money he saved up to go back to school to become a teacher. Steve can’t help but snort at that and Eddie tilts his head at him.

“Something funny, Stevie?” Steve shrugs.

“Can’t imagine you being a teacher, Munson. I don’t remember you caring much for school.” Eddie chuckles, shaking his head.

“People change, Steve, you know that better than most. Besides, I’ll be teaching music, not boring bullshit.” Her eyes are darting between the men, Robin looking on a bit nervously as well. It’s meaningless jabs, but Eddie’s “you know better than most” has a weight to it that everyone seems to pick up on. She eventually clears her throat, squeezing Steve’s hand as she smiles at Eddie.

“Well, I think that’s great, Eddie. You know, there’s really interesting MRI research coming out about how good music is for our brains. They’re starting to use it as palliative treatment for people with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.” It’s a successful maneuver away from whatever the elephant in the room is. Eddie rests his chin in his palm as he looks at her.

“I’ll be damned, is that right? Tell me more, sweetheart, that sounds wild.”

It’s over dessert that Eddie excuses himself for a smoke break. She and Robin are chatting easily over cups of coffee and slices of pie. Steve squeezes her shoulder, murmuring that he’s going to go keep Eddie company.

Steve gets outside just as Eddie’s lighting up, leaning up against the wall of his apartment building. He grins around his cigarette.

“You wanna bum one, Harrington? Or did you quit?” Steve waves him off, leaning on the wall next to him.

“Been trying to at least. She’ll kill me if she smells it on me.” Eddie laughs, whistling lowly.

“So you’re whipped, huh?” Steve scoffs, going to protest  but Eddie continues.

“It’s a good look on you, man. You seem– I don’t know– lighter.” Steve raises an eyebrow at him, but Eddie just shrugs.

“I’m just saying. You better hold onto that one. She’s the real deal.” Steve sighs.

“Yeah, I know, Ed.” There’s a beat of silence before Eddie speaks again.

“Robs told me you had another close call.” Steve huffs at that, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’re getting older, Harrington. Don’t you think it’s time you–” Steve turns on him, his eyes flashing and Eddie puts up his hands in surrender.

“Did she put you up to this?” Eddie’s face scrunches in confusion.

“What? No, man. But I can’t blame her if she’s saying the same thing. Listen, Steve, I get it, really. Why do you think I went running down south to work my ass off on a fucking rig? It wasn’t exactly for the scenery.” Eddie sighs, blowing out a puff of smoke before going on.

“But, it’s just stupid. Trying to keep running, to keep fighting. You– we deserve to get on with life.  At least that’s what I figure.” Steve sighs, plucking the cigarette right from Eddie’s mouth and taking a long drag before handing it back to him. Eddie glances at him.

“What did you wanna do? Before?” Steve laughs, shaking his head.

“I didn’t have a fucking clue what I wanted to do. I was working shit jobs that went nowhere, even before.” Eddie offers him the cigarette again and Steve takes it with a muttered “don’t fucking tell her” that makes Eddie laugh.

“Well, listen, as your friend? I’m telling you that you deserve to figure out what the fuck you actually want to do, not what numbs your brain out enough to forget the past.” Steve just nods, stamping out the butt before glancing back at Eddie.

“So, you’re really back for good?” Eddie grins, nodding.

“Certified, man. I’m starting at IU after the holidays.” Steve chuckles.

“Eddie Munson, a college man. Who would’ve thought.” 

“Hey, if I can do it, so can you, Harrington. Think about it.” They both sigh and Steve kicks off the wall.

“I will, really. C’mon, we should head back up. I fear what those two could accomplish left alone together.” Eddie chuckles, clapping Steve on the back.

“It’s good to be back, Steve. And it’s good to see you found someone. She’s a keeper, man.”

“I know, Ed. I know.” 

…

She sends Robin and Eddie off with tin-foil wrapped plates stacked high with leftovers and Steve tries not to blow a fuse when Eddie lays a wet, smacking smooch to her cheek, grinning like the devil he is before slinking out the door. Robin huffs, smiling apologetically at her.

“Apologies for the large man-child, he means well. Thank you guys for Thanksgiving part two though, it was great!” Steve draws his friend into a brisk side hug before she’s out the door as well. His girl shuts the door, turning and looking at him with a broad smile.

“Well?” He raises his eyebrows at her as she pads over to him, drawing her palms up his chest to wrap behind his neck. She presses a soft kiss to his lips.

“Was it a good thanksgiving?” Steve huffs, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer against him.

“Munson aside? First good one I ever had, doll.” That earns him a grin and she leans in for another kiss that he tries to deepen, chasing after her lips but to no avail.

“We make a good team, baby.” Steve hums at that, once again trying to steal another kiss but she slides her palms down to press into his chest again.

“Gotta clean up, team.” He groans, but reluctantly follows her back into the kitchen to tackle the mess of dishes that’s been left in the aftermath of dinner. It’s quiet and it’s easy as they work. She washes and he dries, and again Steve feels that sting in his chest imagining them doing this after putting their imaginary kids to bed. He knows it’s ridiculous to even think this way. She’s never even mentioned wanting or not wanting kids, and why would she? Still, part of him can’t help but hope that there’s even a small chance she’d want her future to have him in it. He’s brought out of his head by the sound of her humming as she scrubs another pan. He sets down his dishtowel, sliding behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist as he digs his nose into her neck, breathing her in. She huffs under his attention.

“We’re not done, Steve.” He groans, his voice coming out as a mumble into her skin.

“There’s only, like, two pans left, babe. I say we’re done for tonight.” She gives in, setting the pan she had been working on down in the sink and drying her hands off on a rag before letting her palms rest over his forearms circling her waist. Steve starts to press kisses up the sweep of her neck, his teeth grazing the hinge of her jaw as she shudders in his arms.

“Look so pretty, tonight, honey. Wearing my favorite dress.” She sighs, letting him sway them a little side to side as he continues to nip at her skin.

“Wore it for you. Was trying to distract you from being so pissed off at Eddie.” Steve huffs into her neck, drawing his hands down to palm the swell of her thighs.

“It worked. Think I would’ve throttled him if I didn’t have you next to me.” She sighs as his hands continue to run up and down the outside of her thighs, ghosting over her hips before dipping back down to thumb at the hem of her dress. She twists in his hold, threading her fingers through the back of his hair and looking up at him in a way that makes his hands shake. Her voice is just a whisper when she speaks.

“I love you, Steve.” He feels his face melt into a smile, pulling her closer by her waist.

“You do?” She grins, nodding, and they kiss around their shared dopey smiles. Steve pulls away, pressing his forehead against hers.

“Fuck, baby– I love you so much.” And with that he’s diving in for a deeper kiss that makes her gasp into his mouth as he licks into her. Without knowing it, he’s walking her back until she’s pressed into the counter, hoisting her up onto it and settling between her legs. Her fingers start to fumble with the buttons of his shirt and Steve’s quick to help her, pulling it up over his head and tossing it aside. Her palms smooth up his chest, and she hooks her legs behind his thighs to draw him in closer. He breaks away to lay kisses along her shoulder, reaching back to tug the zipper of her dress down until it’s loose enough for her to shrug out of the sleeves. Taking in the sight of her, Steve lets out a low groan.

“Baby, no bra?” She grins and shrugs.

“Doesn’t work with the dress, Stevie.” He huffs, not really answering as he’s already dipping down to lay harsh bites across the tops of her breasts. She gasps as he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, teeth grazing the bud until she’s tugging lightly at his hair to pull him back up for a kiss that’s all pressing tongues and harsh gasps. Her hands wander again, this time down to his belt but Steve’s quick to grab hold of both her wrists in one palm.

“Hey, hey. Lemme take care of you first, doll.” She sighs, her brow furrowing.

“Just want you, daddy. Wanna feel you.” Steve feels like his head is going to explode at her words and the way she’s looking up at him from under her eyelashes. He tries to steady himself, guiding her palms to rest on his bare chest.

“Just Steve tonight, alright, pretty? Want you to say my name while I fuck you.” She smiles at that, dragging her hands up to clasp behind his neck and pull him into another kiss, pulling away just so their lips are barely brushing and whispering “ok, Steve.” Something in him snaps at her sweet words and he grips the plush of her ass, murmuring for her to wrap her legs around him, and he hoists her up off the counter as they continue to smear sloppy kisses into each other’s skin.

He starts to pad out of the kitchen, but his foot gets caught on the rug in front of the sink and they both wind up on the floor. She’s dissolving into laughter underneath him as he presses up onto his hands to check that she’s not hurt. She’s not, but Steve’s ego might be. She catches the furrowed look on his face and sighs.

“Don’t pout, baby. You were just being efficient. Now we don’t have to go all the way to the bedroom.” He can’t help but laugh at that, shaking his head at her words.

“Always such a smart mouth.” She doesn’t get a reply in as he dips down to steal another sloppy kiss. Steve thinks fleetingly that they probably look like a mess. They’re sprawled out on his kitchen floor, her dress all rucked around her hips, his belt buckle hanging open. But he doesn’t care, not when she’s drawing his hips down into hers by hooking her leg around his ass. Steve smacks one more kiss to her lips before leaning back to drag her dress the rest of the way down her hips, his hands skating back up her legs to slide her panties off too. He sits back on his haunches, fumbling with his belt, taking in her splayed figure as she tilts her head and grins at him. His hands still.

“What’re you looking at, doll?” 

“You, Steve. So lovely like this.” He huffs at her words, knowing that if he thinks too hard about them he’ll dissolve right on the spot. He quickly shrugs his pants and boxers down enough to slide his aching cock out, leaning back over her and running the tip through her folds. They both sigh at the contact, and she rucks one knee up to his hip, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he dips into her. He stills for a moment, searching her face.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to work you open first, pretty?” She scrunches her face, tilting her hips to try to coax him deeper but he brings one palm down to the softness of her belly, pressing her into stillness.

“Hey. Need your words, doll. Be good for me, huh?” She frowns, brushing some of his hair out of his face.

“I just wanna feel you, Steve. Want you inside me.” He presses a kiss to her pouted lips, letting his hips roll forward with a deep groan. She arches up into him when his hips finally press against hers, offering up the arc of her throat for him to nose along as she sighs. 

“Always so perfect for me, doll– fuck– tell me when I can move.” She tells him on a breathy exhale that she’s ready and he lets his lips smear over hers as he pulls out, slowly rolling into a rhythm that pushes and pulls both their bodies. It feels different, and not just because they’re splayed on his kitchen floor. Something heady is pulling at the hilt of his spine, pressing his thrusts deeper as she cants her hips to meet him. He’s devouring her, swallowing her gasps and whimpers as he licks into her mouth. It’s embarrassing how quickly the pleasure is closing in around him. 

“Feels so good, Steve– so full– fuck, don’t stop.” She dissolves into a cracked chant of his name and Steve’s head is swimming in it.

He brings his hand up to her jaw, skating his thumb along her bottom lip. She’s quick to wrap her mouth around the digit, laving her tongue over the pad of his thumb and it makes Steve’s eyes roll back in his head. He takes his thumb from her mouth with a lewd pop, bringing his hand town to swipe over her clit. Her hips jerk in his hold and he feels her clench down hard around him.

“Fuck, baby– need you to come for me– need to feel it so bad.” She whimpers his name, eyes scrunching closed as her nails dig into his shoulder blades. 

“Eyes on me, pretty. Wanna see you when you come– c’mon, baby.” Her eyes blow wide as she lets out a broken cry and the way she pulses around him as she comes undone sends Steve over the edge with her, pressing his hips deep into hers as he spills inside of her. They’re both panting, a slick sheen of sweat keeping them stuck together in their embrace. Steve dips his face into her neck, leaving light kisses as he trails up to her jaw, and then to her lips. When he pulls away she’s grinning beneath him.

“I love you, Steve. I really mean it.” For a moment, Steve stills, taking in the sight of his girl. His girl. He almost can’t believe it’s all real, but when she pulls him back down for another kiss, for once all the thoughts muddying his mind go quiet. He smiles against her lips.

“I love you too. Fuck, you’re incredible.” She hums, carding her fingers through his hair. As they stay there, sprawled on his kitchen floor, probably for longer than they should, Steve feels something spreading in his chest. A notion, a hope really, that for her, he might be able to be better. He really wants to be better.

[januaryembrs]

THE LION'S SHARE OF WARMTH | Jaime Lannister x reader

Request: ay!! heres to 1k!! :DD can I please have a Jaime Lannister x reader, where the nights too cold to sleep alone even in front of a fire, forcing them to cuddle to keep warm?

Description: A cold night between two enemies leads to an embarrassing wake up call.

word count: 1.1k

trigger warnings: none, swearing? Mention of the war going on ?

main masterlist

For a girl born into the North, there was nothing you hated more than the cold. Your mother said you had just never grown accustomed to the climate, always insisting on the thickest pelts to cover your bed despite the fact your family had lived through the thickest Winters spanning back generations. 

Which is why you swore all twenty of your fingers and toes were damn near ready to fall off when you were forced to sleep outside on the road to King’s Landing. Call it being spoiled by coming from a respectable lord’s family, but had you not had a good reason to be here, you would be long gone and in front of a roaring fire by now on a night like this. 

That respectable lord just so happened to be Wyman Manderly. Your house had fallen to near mania the moment the war of the five kings began, and you had fled to Robb and Catelyn Stark with your twin brothers Wylis and Wendel. The Starks and the Manderlys had always been closely allied, and as all Northern houses you had grown closely knit with the great Wolf house. 

Which was why when Jaime Lannister appeared in a cage on the Stark encampment, bloodied and dirtier than you’d ever seen the once proud lion, you knew Catelyn Stark was fighting with every tooth and nail to get Sansa and Arya back from the capital.

And who better to send to bargain for the two girls than Brienne of Tarth, the strongest swords woman in Westeros, and Y/N Manderly, daughter of the richest Northern family. Since you already had money of your own and your family was incredibly loyal to the Starks, Catelyn and Robb agreed you were unlikely to be swayed by anything Cersei could offer you and could discuss an offer with the Lannisters like the astute and academic woman you were.

Which is how you got here, on a narrow and freezing road to the capital with Brienne and Jaime Lannister.

“My legs tire, we need to rest soon,” Jaime whinged for the umpteenth time that day as you and Brienne carted him in chains through the rough terrain. Well Brienne held the irons, seeing as she could overpower the man if needs be, while you had little more than a dagger to fend him off. 

You shot a look at the tall woman, the two of you mirroring each other with a glare of annoyance at his theatrics. You ignored him, continuing your steady pace onwards. The Lannister man seemed to be unused to people, especially women, not pouring over him with affection and lavishing him with whatever he requested since he began digging his heels into the earth like a lame mule.

“I said we need rest. Do you really think my sister will take kindly to me being returned to her as a cripple?” Jaime complained, yanking against the bonds to get your attention. You wished to disregard him some more until he said: “If I am to be exchanged for the girls and I come home bruised and deformed, what do you think she’ll do to Sansa and Arya?” 

You and Brienne halted. You hadn’t quite thought about treating him kindly since it was his forsaken family that had started this war in the first place. 

You looked to Brienne for assurance, the Tarth woman giving you a small nod in response. The two of you spun to advance on the man who wore an annoyingly winning smile at the fact he had gotten you both to listen. 

“We are stopping until the moment the day breaks, do you hear?” You growled at him, only making his cracked lips draw wider. “And wipe that smirk of your face, there will be no fire tonight,”

Gods be known you were so stupid to have said that. In punishing him you had punished yourself. Brienne didn’t seem to mind the frosty night air as she bundled up under her furs, sleeping soundly as if it were another night in a bed. 

“A Northern woman who feels the cold, that’s new,” Jaime snickered from his place behind you. Your body must have been shaking more than you’d hoped. You felt the night air kiss every inch of your skin as the wind whipped even the slightest bit and it sent a vicious shiver through your body.

“Shut up or I’ll maim you, Lannister,” You both knew it was an empty threat, one you’d barely made through without your teeth chattering loudly. It only served to make him chuckle, and you heard him shuffle closer to you. 

Drawing your blade, you were quick to raise the sharp tip to prod against the soft of his stomach. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You seethed.

“Relax. You’re clearly cold, and Cersei would have both your heads if I returned to King’s Landing with the shivering sickness,” Jaime said, attempting to slip an arm around your waist that you swiftly batted away with your arm.

“I’d rather risk your bitch of a sister than be anywhere near you,” You spat, raising the dagger up to his chin, “If you dare touch me in my sleep I’ll send you back to her in pieces, do you understand?” 

He raised his hands in defence, rolling back away from you and muttering something foul under his breath. You could tell his confidence was knocked that the Jaime Lannister couldn’t have his way with every woman he came across. Any other woman in Westeros would give an arm and leg to cuddle with him for warmth, any woman but you. 

You closed your eyes, the flame of anger enough to ward off the chill for just long enough that you were able to get to sleep on wrath alone. 

Your face blazed with similar heat when you awoke to the feeling of strong laughter humming through a set of ribs. You realised very quickly that your face was not pressed into the dirt like it was when you fell asleep last night but instead against someone's clothed spine. 

“I thought you said I’d be in pieces by now?” Came a raspy voice, and you shoved yourself upright aghast. Not only were you spooning the damn king’s guard whose very soul you loathed, but in no way could you blame him for it happening seeing as it was him facing away from you.

Your cold body had sought him out for warmth in your sleep.

“Embarrass-”

“That’s ENOUGH, Lannister,”

[byuntrash101]

being sandwiched between minseok & baekhyun after they’ve just got done finishing a show 😖 lord have mercy

oh my g- sdklsldkslkmdskmdklds

this checks all of the boxes!!!! the original muscle daddy + the orignal slut (baekhyun is a whore i just know it) is THE combo.

god damn i almost passed out writing this... im 🥵🥵🥵

tags: double penetration (vaginal and anal), sweat kink (typical me because im nasty like that), squirting, unprotected sex, creampie, getting caught kink, dirty talk

You have no choice but to claw at Baekhyun's back as Minseok slips his thick member inside you by the only hole still available. The two men holding you up in the air, you wrap your legs around Baekhyun's waist as the two men hover you above their hard and dripping cocks. You don't know if you'll be able to keep quiet for long given how good and full you feel from front to back.

But it seems like the boys notice your struggle and Baekhyun wraps his pretty hand around your mouth the muffle your little whimpers of pleasure.

"Be quiet baby" he whispers in your ear as you feel him slowly pull out of you, making your wet cunt gush out and produce lewd squelshing noises. "We don't want the manager to find out you're letting us use your body like this right baby girl?"

"You could definetely lose your job over this you know" Minseok adds. And you shook your head in horror to the idea. Being a makeup artist was your calling but what you were most afraid of right now was to lose the opportunity to be squeezed between the two men like you have been countless times.

After a show they always needed a way to relieve tension and what better way than to fuck their favourite little cock sleeve stupid until you can't think straight or walk for days?

"Fuckkkk" you whisper as Baekhyun lets his hand slip from your mouth to your throat. Pushing his dick back into your throbbing cunt. Just as Minseok pushed himself inside your little rim.

"You're clenching so hard baby" Minseok moans in your ear as his sweaty chest is pressed on your bare back. "You want my cum that bad?" he chuckles picking up the pace.

"Yes!" you gasp. "Yes please cum inside me" you beg.

"What a little cum hungry whore you are" Baekhyun says as you catch a bead of sweat running down his long neck. You wrap your lips around his collarbone licking the sweat all the way up his ear. The bitter taste fills your head making you forget about everyhting that is not them their two cocks rubbing against each other inside you right now.

Baekhyun smashes his hips inside you, setting the pace and Minseok follows also adopting the unfirgiving pace.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum" you squeak trying to make as little noise as possible, immediatly biting Baekhyun's neck to keep yourself from screaming.

"Cum on both our dicks, baby" Baekhyun urges as his hips start to stutter.

Your worn out little pussy and shapeless asshole start to pulse around their cocks as you reach your climax. And it's the last straw for them. Your orgasming holes milk them dry, draining their balls to the last drop of precious cum that is over flowing your holes and dripping down the dark changing room's floor as you uncontrollably shake in their arms, eyes rolled back, breath short and toes curled. The pleasure is so overwhelming that you spray your cum in a powerful stream completely soaking the two men before your body goes limp.

"I'm so glad we get to do this all over again tomorrow" Baekhyun says, zipping his soaked pants up.

"I'm taking her pussy tomorrow!" Minseok concludes

a/n: almost did not survive this.

[tofautisawa]

I'm REALLY curious on what you mean by TLG giving ass backwards treatment to Jasiri and her pack

I like Jasiri, don't get me wrong. It's nice to have a hyena character in The Lion King franchise that isn't just a stupid cackling villain. She has a cute design, and I always enjoyed the episodes she appeared it. Don't Judge A Hyena By It's Spots being one of my top favorite episodes of season 1.

However, she is only "good" by the narrative because she and her clan live by the Pride Land's specific "Circle Of Life" ideology. A ideology that in my opinion, doesn't benefit her, her clan, or her species AT ALL. She and spotted hyenas in general are still subjected to living in a barren wasteland with little to no resources. (The Lion Guard even one ups this by saying even TERMITES don't live in the Outlands just to get the Aardwolves to come back. Continuity be damned.) They only got one water source to call their own. They live near an active volcano with open lava pits that one can easily fall into ( and one that she and the cubs nearly died in). There is absolutely no bitterness from any innocent hyenas, and they basically just accepted that this is how they must live. Jasiri can sing Kwetu Ni Kwetu all she wants, the melody will go real great with the sound of her homies sizzling at the bottom of a lava pit next to Ushari.

It's actually really bad that Makucha ( a reoccurring villain) is subjected to live in a much better environment filled with prey, water, and plenty of vegetation where even the zebras are happier.

And I say subjected because I never got the vibe that these animals live where they do out of their own volition, more like they are assigned. Aside from the hyenas not being allowed in the Pride Lands, I never got that vibe from the movies. It really makes me wish Fuli's quote from the pilot about "Always the Lions lording over the Pride Lands" was expanded on and explored. Anyways.... The show also never really addresses what she even eats, because I doubt much prey ventures into the out lands. BUT DON'T WORRY- Jasiri states that hyenas are clean up crews and eat what lions leave behind. Further reinforcing that outdated belief that spotted hyenas are primarily scavengers (which Ono even states in a later episode because he has to be the "educational mouthpiece" even when he's blatantly wrong). I can appreciate the show trying to show the benefits of scavengers- but it really should have been saved for animals like the vultures. So the show couldn't even make her and her clan respectable hunters that only hunt specifically what they need ( Probably because there is nothing TO hunt and whenever Janja is shown hunting on his own damn lands, he is stopped but I digress). I can't even help but wonder how she even CAN scavenge if all the lions live in the Pride Lands, and the alarm is sounded whenever a hyena sets a toe within Pride Land territory- unless the lions are just dumping corpses into the Outlands. This is probably why they had the show outright lie to you and pretend that Aardwolves are no way related to Spotted Hyenas because they can't have the children asking why they are allowed in the pride lands and not a friend of our protagonists, Jasiri.

Also, The hyenas specifically are only treated as "good" the very second they don't hunt for food and instead scavenge, and ONLY scavenge. (Not by their own choice) Compare this to Fuli who has been shown hunting, and it's treated as a bad thing that her hunts got interrupted and she doesn't get to eat. BUT WHATEVER, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT IT MUCH! LOOK AT THE FUNNY HONEY BADGER!!!

I honestly wouldn't even be complaining about any of this if it turned out Jasiri secretly lived in a oasis within or in the outskirts of the Outlands, or even the Backlands where she had access to prey or even later got a better land for her own in the end.

Keep in mind, this is all just my opinion. And you are free to disagree with me. And it's been a hot minute since I watched The Lion Guard so my details might be off here and there. Just don't try to pull the whole "It's a preschool show" argument, because that really doesn't matter to me.

[plethomacademia]

PLEASE SIR can we hear about the regency one 🤲🤲

Hello welcome to the regency AU I am picking at for my own amusement. It's Maevetash, marriage of convenience, Gortash is an up and comer who went to America to make money and is now back looking for a wife with a title, Maeve is the heir to a weird estate that she can only keep if she gets married.

This would be fine but on their wedding night, Gortash finds out Maeve is not a virgin, gets weird about it, and so the fic becomes the trope of trying to seduce your wife so you can consummate your marriage.

I have also decided that Maeve is unmarriageable because she's doing weird turn of the century medical experiments in her basement. But Gortash only knows that he's not allowed downstairs, so we have this scene. Jumping for length and no editing.

(Also yes if I keep picking at this, they are going to make out in that basement and maybe she gets blood on his cheek!)

Enver glares at the servant. “What do you mean the door is locked?”

Despite the edge that he has put into his voice, the servant continues stand tall. “Her ladyship has stated that the door to the lower floor is to remain locked at all times, my lord.”

“Am I not master of this home now?”

The servant bows his head. “Of course, my lord. You are indeed the lawful lord of this manor.”

“Then open the blasted door.”

“Forgive me, my lord, but I cannot. Her ladyship --”

Enver flexes his hand to keep from snatching up the bastard by his shirt. “To the hells with her ladyship, I will have someone break down the damned thing if I must. Now open it or I will have your job.”

A throat clears down the hallway and he narrows his eyes as he turns towards the source. Maeve is standing there, a burgundy stain of silk standing in stark contrast to the dark brown wood of the manor hallways. Her expression is smooth, the picture of good breeding and boredom. She lifts her chin. “Mr. Gortash, you seem to be in quite a state.”

He walks toward her until they are toe to toe, then looks down at her with his slight advantage in height. “What are you hiding down there, Maeve?”

She wrinkles her nose. “Such informality. I am not sure that emotional outbursts such as these will do you well in making allies in the House of Lords.”

“You are a conniving shrew of a woman and I will not have you forbidding me from entering part of my own property.” He leans forward, catching how her eyes flash in response. “So, I shall ask again: what are you hiding down there, Mrs. Gortash?”

“We agreed before we were married that you would not intefere in my life. But …” She smiles and the angle makes her canines look sharp. “If you think that you have the constitution for it, I am happy to show you, my lord.”

The concession is too easily won. “And what will I see if I go with you?”

“The future,” she says.

She puts her hand on his arm, their first touch since that blasted night that went sideways, and he lets her turn him back towards the door. The servant has slipped away and all that is before them is that big slab of wood and its many locks. She tucks her hand inside his forearm, as if he was about to escort her for a turn around a park. Instead, she tugs him forward.

“Come, husband. I think that it is time for you understand me a bit better.”

[banannabethchase]

for the hangman in a lab coat doing serious scientific sex experiments with matt as his test subject verse: adam wants to see what matt would look like double stuffed, i.e., they try double penetration with someone else

Greedy - also on AO3

~

Matt's finally ready to suggest his second Mox-related experiment, and Adam is so ready to take a back seat to his mad scientist boyfriend.

~

Thank you for this genius prompt, V!!! Title from Greedy by Ariana Grande.

~

Matt skips into the hotel room, throwing open the door without fanfare, like it hadn’t been a week since they’d seen each other, like he hadn’t been in California packing stuff up in his house to ship cross country to Adam’s. To their home. “I have an idea. An experiment idea.”

“You do?” Adam asks. He pushes his glasses up his nose and looks up at Matt.

Who immediately goes pink.

“What?”

“I – forgot what I going to say.” Matt shuffles over to the bed. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Adam says back. He smiles as Matt curls into him, treating him, essentially, as a mattress. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Matt sighs. “You pushed your glasses up your nose and it was cute.” He lifts his head and smiles at Adam, all sweet. “And then I remembered I get to, like, kiss you and keep you and whatever, and…” He trails off and flops back onto Adam’s chest.

“Lord,” Adam says. “You’re all gooey today.” He sets his book down and wraps his arms around Matt’s back. “Must have been the week apart.” He kisses the top of Matt’s head, reminding himself that he’ll get to have these moments every morning from now on. “Tell me what your idea is. I wanna hear.”

Matt hums. “Snuggles first.”

Snuggles turns into resting their eyes, and resting their eyes turns into sleep. Adam never sleeps as well as when Matt is playing weighted blanket on top of him, but it’s in the back of his mind as he drifts off to sleep that he never got an answer about Matt’s idea.

~

They’re in the middle of the venue, helping Tony with some organization, when Matt huffs.

“I have that stupid cowlick going,” he grumbles. “I seriously need you to get that hairbrush situation fixed.”

“Or, what if,” Adam says, moving a speaker where he’s been directed, “you could get your own damned hair brush.” He puts the speaker down and pulls out the cord, running it to the wall.

Matt sits on top of the speaker. “But then I don’t get to share yours.”

“More like you don’t get to have that tiny bit of extra space in your luggage.” Adam leans down and kisses Matt’s forehead. “Get up, come on. We have to get out of here before anybody comes over here and makes us do something else.”

The footsteps feel annoyingly appropriate, but Matt lights up as he jumps to his feet.

“You look so fucked up,” Mox says, looking Matt up and down. Adam stands. “Why do you look like you slept with a rock for a pillow?”

“Considering Adam’s pecs, that’s actually pretty accurate,” Matt retorts.

Adam snickers. “Thanks, babe.”

Mox chews his lollipop and looks Adam up and down. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed, by the way.” He winks at Adam. “You looked great at that death match.” He runs his thumb along his lower lip, eyes locked on Adam’s mouth. “Sort of jealous you didn’t drink my blood in ours, but whatever.”

Matt clears his throat. “Well, we’re needed in the EVP room. Thing. With Tony.” He grabs Adam’s hand and drags him away at a speed that feels almost comical.

“What’s wrong with you?” Adam laughs. “We weren’t done with the speakers.”

“My idea,” Matt says. “What the eff. It’s like he can read my mind.”

“Read your – oh.” Adam gets it. “Oh, this is about that idea you keep talking about whenever I’m blowing you?” He slides his fingertips along Matt’s hip, sliding under his shirt. But, for the first time Adam can remember, it doesn’t distract Matt even a bit.

Matt nods. “I wanna ask him,” he says. “I, um. I really – I think it’s the right time, you know.” He bounces on his toes. “Do you think he’ll want to?”

“I think,” Adam says, stepping into Matt’s space until Matt’s pressed up against the wall, “you should say exactly what you want him to do.” He leans in, lips to Matt’s ear. “What you want both of us to do.”

Matt exhales slowly, deeply, intensely. “I want you – both – to…” He swallows, and Adam gears up to hear him say it. “I want you both to fuck me at the same time.”

Adam chuckles in Matt’s ear, licking his lips. “So it’s more than just a fantasy now,” he says. “You really want it?”

“I do,” Matt says. “Um. If you want it.”

Adam pulls back. “Say that again?”

“If you don’t want to, I get it,” Matt says. “I mean, having him, um, rail me when you came in afterwards was kind of different. I know that.” He presses his lips together, still managing to look cute when talking about being fucked by two men at once. “So I need to you to know that I’m okay if it it’s just a fantasy.” He grabs Adam’s hands, and looks so goddamned sincere with those gigantic eyes that Adam almost wants to drop to a knee now.

He does have the ring in his bag this time.

“So, just, I’m okay if it’s all talk,” Matt says, nodding. “I’m okay with it.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Do you think that I only want it to be talk?”

Matt shrugs. “I mentioned it to Kenny.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “You brought up our threesome to Kenny?”

“You know how he is,” Matt says, waving it off like that statement makes any sense at all. “He had a similar thing going a while back and told me to make sure you were entirely on board with it before bringing it to Mox’s attention.” He wrinkles his nose. “Apparently Kenny asked Nick before double checking with Kota and it all went really bad.”

“I mean, you brought it up to me months ago,” Adam says, and he finds himself playing with Matt’s hair, running silky locks through his fingertips. Mox was right, though. There’s a bunch of knots he slowly starts working through.  “And did I seem like I didn’t want to back then?”

“We had just finished having sex,” Matt says, like an explanation. “Sometimes we say things in a post orgasm haze that we don’t mean.”

“Like that one time you said you could see the appeal of the Undertaker, you mean.”

Matt frowns. “You promised me you would never bring that up.”

“No,” Adam says, “no, you told me to promise never to bring it up, and I told you I would save it for a time when it was appropriate for the situation, and here we are.”

Matt rolls his eyes. “You suck.”

“Says you,” Adam says, kissing his forehead. “Now, tell me again. Tell me exactly what you want so I can tell you I am so fucking into it I may have hidden extra lube in my checked bags every goddamned time we fly just in case you decide it’s time.”

Matt exhales slowly. “Really?”

Adam nods. “Really.”

Matt stands on his toes and kisses Adam with a fervor, hands wound around his neck and fingers in his hair. “I want it,” he gasps, against Adam’s lips. “But – but I wanna make sure you – that we all know I belong to you, in the end.”

Adam whines. “Fuck. Goddamnit, baby, you can’t say shit like that when we have a show to help run.” He leans in and kisses Matt as possessively as he can, trying to make sure Matt knows. He’s always Adam’s.

“Okay,” Matt says, looking dazed and floating when Adam pulls away. “We have to talk to Mox first, though.”

~

The opportunity comes later that night at the hotel, when Adam and Matt are stopping by the hotel restaurant for a late night snack.

“I just really want French fries,” Adam says, dragging Matt. “Come on.”

When they walk in, Mox has a plate of fries in front of him.

“Huh,” Adam says. “Look at that, baby.”

“You said you wanted French fries.”

Adam decides that he’s earned a bad idea, so he walks up to Mox and grabs a fry from the plate, popping it in his mouth.

“What the fuck?” Mox asks turning to him. Adam grins as he chews, Matt sliding around to Mox’s other side.

“Hey,” Adam says. “Matt has a question for you.”

Mox grins. “Oh. Anything like last time?”

“Similar,” Matt says, and Adam can’t help but notice the way he trails his fingertips along the back of Mox’s neck as he walks to his other side. “But it requires the two of you to be, like, cool with being near each other. More than last time.”

Mox leans back, which gives Adam the opportunity to take a few more fries. “Talk to me,” he says. “And stop fuckin’ eating my French fries, you dick.” He slaps Adam’s hand when he reaches out to grab another. “You two fucking suck, by the way.”

“We weren’t thinking sucking would be involved,” Matt says, hopping into the barstool. “Well, this time.”

“This time?” Mox asks, turning to Adam. “This becoming a thing?”

Adam shrugs. “Don’t ask me. This one’s all his idea.”

“I thought you were the experimenter or something.”

Adam frowns, and reaches out to take another fry. Mox doesn’t stop him. “My lab’s been taken over by a madman.”

“You have never once complained about my ideas,” Matt says. “Anyway, if you two will stop bitching, here’s what I’m thinking.”

Mox has to straight up slap his hand over Matt’s mouth at one point when the bartender is coming over to refill their waters.

“Baby, I love you,” Adam says, fighting back laughter, “but if you say ‘just get your dick in there and we’ll make it work’ in public like that, somebody eventually is going to leak that to a dirt sheet and people are going to start expecting very different pay per views.”

Matt’s eyes light up a little more than strictly necessary.

“Hard no,” Adam says firmly. He glances around, then leans in, over Mox. “I ain’t sharing you with anybody except for him. You’re mine.”

Matt’s eyes widen and he settles back into his seat. “So I shouldn’t bring up that thing I wanted to ask related to Claudio?”

Mox laughs so hard he slides off the barstool.

~

Wrestling’s a sport. Adam knows that. They train and focus, and Matt goes hard on exercises specifically researched to make him better at certain wrestling moves. But Adam has never seen anybody train the way Matt has the past few weeks for this particular event. They’d been messing around with Matt taking more and more for months, but since their conversation with Mox a few weeks before, things have gotten almost clinical.

They’re in bed, Adam on his back as Matt sinks down on him.

“I’m just saying,” Matt says, far too put together to be filled up by Adam, “I don’t think it’s possible for Mox to be bigger than this one.” His turned around the opposite direction from Adam. “Okay, go ahead.”

Adam grins. “You sure?” he asks. He touches around Matt’s hole gentle, giving soft, listless thrusts with his dick and a finger. “I can just keep this up as long as you want.”

Matt falls a little forward on his hands. “I – okay, always, but I’m really – I want to make sure I can handle this one, too.”

It takes a few minutes, some deep breathing from Matt, and Adam keeping his hips as still as possible, but Matt manages to take both Adam and the largest dildo they have in their collection.

“Fuck,” Adam says, staring. “I wish I could see your face, babe. But this view is out of this world.”

He keeps himself absolutely still as he slowly works the dildo in and out.

Matt exhales. “This – I feel –”

Adam freezes. “Are you okay?”

“This is incredible,” Matt says. “I don’t get – this…Adam, I may be obsessed with this.”

“Fucking awesome,” Adam murmurs. “Because I kind of am, too.”

He reaches around without moving his hips but can only get his fingertips along Matt’s cock.

“Oh,” Matt says, voice a whisper. “Oh, okay. Take the other – take the fake one out. I want you to really give it to me, okay?”

Truly, Adam has never said no to Matt.

~

Matt sprints into Adam’s bedroom, skidding to a stop right before crashing into his bed.

“Hey,” Adam says, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

“Look at my phone,” Matt says, throwing himself on the bed and shoving the phone into Adam’s face.

“Even cross eyed, I couldn’t read that,” Adam mutters. He bats at Matt’s hand until he pulls his hand back and Adam can grab the phone.

got a suite Tuesday nite til fridya morning if you two are in this week

“He spelled Friday wrong,” Adam says, frowning down at the phone. He looks back up at Matt. “Is that why you’re freaking out?”

“Don’t – focus, Adam!” Matt says. When Adam looks up, he can finally see how excited Matt is. “Mox got a suite! So we can do the whole two guys at once thing!” He does what Adam may have to consider the most charming happy dance he’s seen from Matt, something similar to when he’s being a particularly huge bitch in a match.

“Oh, shit,” Adam says. “Yeah. Hell yeah. Let’s do it.”

They go down on each other in Adam’s – in their, he’s still not used to it, it feels like a dream – laundry room, giggling, as they pack for the flight to Dynamite, and Adam is beginning to get worried he’s just as excited as Matt.

~

Matt is enthusiastic about everything the next few days. He gleefully takes his sneakers off for TSA, accepts the lack of diet Coke on the plane graciously, and doesn’t say a word when the Lyft is twenty minutes late and has a car that smells like four gallons of cologne. Even Adam’s barely kind enough not to bitch about it. Matt practically bounces his way to the hotel room and to the venue.

“You really are excited for tomorrow night, aren’t you?”

Matt nods fervently. “Also, I’ve had, like six coffees.”

“Six – when?!” Adam asks. He drops his things in the EVP room. “It’s two in the afternoon. When did you even have the time?!”

“When you went to talk to Silver and Reynolds,” Matt replies. He sits on the couch crosslegged, but still tapping his fingers rapidly. “Concessions had a bunch of coffee ready so I kept refilling.”

“There is something so deeply wrong with you, baby,” he laughs, kissing Matt’s forehead. “Chill out a little bit before we go do professional shit, okay? I don’t want you to get in trouble for being weird in public.”

“You like it when I’m weird in public,” Matt says, and his grin goes dangerous. “You really liked it when I was weird when you were doing camera for that one Mox match.”

Adam exhales slowly. “Yeah, but nobody knew you were there.”

“You did,” Matt says, grinning.

“You shouldn’t be so proud of that,” Adam says, kissing Matt’s forehead. “We risked getting fired.”

Matt shrugs. “Yeah, but we didn’t.”

Adam does a terrible job of paying attention to anything during Dynamite. He and the Bucks are backstage only, which means Matt is half in his lap as he studies the cameras and makes calls while Adam presses buttons at his command.

“I really hate how I have to do this now,” he mutters during a commercial. “What happened to me hanging out backstage?”

“We got back together and you got stuck with me,” Matt says. He’s half in Adam’s lap at this point.

“Yeah, and you two made it everybody’s problem,” Nick says, grinning as he mutes his mic. “Now shut up so I can cue music, you idiots.” He’s been in a much better mood for a while. Adam kind of wants to know why, but also thinks he shouldn’t dare to ask.

Adam follows instructions as best he can, but he really needs to talk to Tony about not doing this next time. Dynamite and Rampage finish smoothly, in Adam’s opinion, but Matt’s got some complaints as he drives back to the hotel, with Nick and Kenny in the back seats.

“I just think,” Matt continues, “that if we’re expected to communicate with all members of the roster, everybody should be given a company phone that actually works well, you know?”

“That’s great, Matt, but I asked if you wanted to get a Frosty,” Nick says.

~

Matt dives at him when they close the door to their hotel room, and it’s only reflexes that save Matt from falling to the floor. Adam grabs him at the ass and holds him up on instinct.

“You know well and good I can’t fuck you tonight if we’re going to see Mox tomorrow,” Adam says, dropping Matt on the bed.

He gets giant, miserable booboo eyes in response. “No, but you can suck my dick.” He flutters his eyelashes. “C’mon, I’ve been in such a good mood today.”

“Have you?” Adam asks. He kicks off his shoes and crawls onto the bed with a grin. “Didn’t you bitch at everyone you saw about the shitty company phones?”

“That wasn’t bitching! It was a companywide improvement recommendation!” Matt says as Adam’s hands go for his belt. Adam can feel he’s already hard.

“How are you always – you were rambling about chocolate vs peppermint Frostys, like, five minutes ago.”

“And?” Matt asks as Adam pulls down his pants. “Now I’m here.” He gestures to Adam. “Come on. How else am I ever gonna react when you’re in front of me?”

“Goddamnit,” Adam says with a sigh, eye level with Matt’s dick. “You’re being sweet. Now I have to suck your dick.”

~

“You nervous?” Adam asks, grinning down at Matt. They’ve got all their bags with them, since Mox as offered them to stay the night at the suite after it’s all said and done, and Adam’s just waiting for Matt to knock.

Matt swallows. “No.”

“Then knock.”

“You knock.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “It’s your idea.”

“I’m your boyfriend,” Matt says. “Aren’t you supposed to do what I want or something?”

Adam snorts. “Yeah, okay. Then we’ll be out here for hours, baby. It’s your fantasy.” He leans in and kisses across Matt’s cheekbone until his lips reach Matt’s ear. “And your experiment. Go ahead. Knock.”

Matt’s shaky and shivery when he knocks, but there’s not an ounce of hesitation as he does so.

Mox throws the door open a few moments later. “Hey, douchebags,” he says, grinning. “How are ya?”

“Good,” Matt says primly. “Can we come in?”

“Sure, baby,” Mox says, popping the lollipop back between his lips. Adam’s a bit entranced. Mox steps back and Adam follows Matt into the spacious suite. It really is large – an entire living area with a small kitchenette, giant TV. He can see the door to the bedroom open, revealing a giant bed.

“Get comfy,” Mox says, throwing himself on the couch. Adam watches how the pale washed denim stretches across strong thighs, how the Death Jitsu long sleeve tee stretches across his broad chest.

Adam swallows. Maybe he’s just as eager for this as Matt.

“Well,” Matt says. “I’m, um. Off to take a shower.” He brushes down his shirt. “I’ll see the two of you in a minute.”

He stops off, one of his bags in his hand, like he already owns the suite, his shirt flying behind him back into the living room.

“He always like that?” Mox asks, stretching out.

Adam nods. “Always.”

“Seems exhausting,” Mox says, grabbing the remote.

“Sure fuckin’ is,” Adam says, laughing. “Put on the show from last night. Matt was in charge of cameras and I want to see if he did a good job.”

The two of them watch the first match and two promos of Dynamite before they hear someone clear their throat, rather insistently, from the bedroom.

“You need something, princess?” Mox yells.

“Yeah,” Matt yells back. “It’s about time.”

“You just turned the shower off, so don’t get bitchy,” Adam calls, and he rolls his eyes at Mox.

Mox grins. “God, you two are gonna be so fun.”

Adam feels a chill wash down his body, a mix of anticipation and Mox’s words.

Matt, inexplicably, is dressed in a tee shirt and a pair of soft looking sweatpants. “Alright,” Matt says, stretching his arms out and tucking his hands behind his head. “Here I am.”

“Here you are,” Adam says. He can’t resist walking over and kissing Matt, just a little one, before stepping back to stand next to Mox.

Matt pushes himself up on his elbows, eyes darting from Adam to Mox. The attitude, the cockiness, starts to fall off of him like sheets of snow from a roof, revealing Matt’s pretty-eyed desire laid bare.

Nobody speaks. Mox and Adam stand next to each other, unmoving. Adam hates to admit it, but he wants to follow Mox’s lead on this one.

“Is – isn’t anybody gonna come over here?” Matt asks. He wiggles. “You’re just staring at me like – like you want to eat me alive or something.”

“That what you want?” Adam asks.

Matt presses his lips together, eyes flicking from Mox to Adam. “Not quite.”

“Yeah?” Mox asks. “Tell me what you’re looking for, Matt. Tell me exactly what you want.”

Matt exhales. “E-everything?”

“I want to hear every detail that you’re thinking off,” Mox says. His eyes flick to Adam, who nods. “Or else we’re not doing it.”

Matt nods. “Yeah, that – that’s fair. Gotta make sure we’re all in agreement.”

Adam laughs. “Baby, I love you so much, but you’re making our threesome sound like a business deal.”

“I mean, it kind of is,” Matt says, shrugging. “Only instead of credit cards, it’s dicks. And instead of a cash register, it’s me.” He flares red. “Oh, boy.”

“Did you just get turned on by talking about money?” Mox turns to Adam. “What the fuck is wrong with him?

“That’s the wrong question,” Adam says, and he walks over to the bed so he can smack roll Matt over and smack his ass. “The question is what isn’t wrong with him.”

“I am right here,” Matt grumbles, but he’s got a little smile on his lips.

“Tell ya what,” Mox says, falling into the chair. “How about you lay down on the bed and tell us while you touch yourself?” Mox pats the arm of the chair. “Come on over, Cowboy. Bet you’re used to riding.”

“What? That doesn’t even make sense.” But Adam walks over and makes himself comfortable on Mox’s lap, flinging a leg over the arm of the chair.

“You two are too big for that chair,” Matt says, licking his lips as he stares. “Way too big.”

“Is this anxiety coming through?” Adam asks. “Because if this is a metaphor –”

“Is not,” Matt scoffs. He takes off his shirt like he’s offended at the suggestion. “Mox, you don’t know this, but Adam and I have been practicing.”

Mox chuckles, a warm rumble on Adam’s back. “Practicing?”

“If that’s what they call it then we should be experts by now,” Adam mutters.

“Maybe not – oh – maybe not practicing, I guess, but I’ve been working myself up to this, and I have been able to take the biggest one we have with Adam,” Matt says. He seems cocky, proud of himself as he pulls down his sweatpants. He’s already hard, pretty red cock curving up toward his belly as he steps back and lays down on the bed. “I mean, not to be a dick, but you can’t be much bigger than that one, based on our previous encounter.”

“He always talk like that?” Mox asks, lips by Adam’s neck, and it is distracting as hell that his arch rival’s lips are brushing against his skin while his boyfriend is jerking off on the bed. “He really does make everything sound like a business meeting.”

“You get used to it,” Adam says, grinding back on Mox’s lap. He can play dirty, too. “You gotta lean into it. Treat it like a corporate role play or something.” He grins. “Baby, show Mox what happens when I call you Mr. Jackson.”

Matt exhales, entire body rolling as he fucks up into his fist. “That’s not fair,” he murmurs. “I’m trying to explain a fantasy here.”

“Then explain it,” Mox says. “We ain’t got all day.”

That is an absolute lie, and all three of them know it. Mox made sure this suite was available until 11am tomorrow for this exact reason, and yet Matt nods, turning his glassy eyes over to Mox and Adam.

“I want you both inside me at once,” he says, eyes locked onto Adam. “I want you both,” he pauses, and Adam knows he’s steadying himself to look at Mox when he says it, “to fuck me at the same time.”

“Yeah?” Mox says. He slides his hand into Adam’s lap. “Feels like the Cowboy’s into it.”

“You are, too, jackass,” Adam replies, rolling his ass against Mox’s hard cock. “Don’t get to uppity about it.

“I never said I wasn’t.”

Adam stands and pulls his shirt off over his head. “Matty, hands off.”

Matt takes his hand off his dick. “Why?”

He grins at Matt, then grins back at Mox. “We can’t let Mox get started here without a show, can we?”

“Oh!” Matt says. “Oh, sure. Yeah, I can do that.” He makes little grabby hands, and Adam wants to fuck him silly right now. But they have plans. “C’mere.”

Adam leans over Matt and kisses him deep, keeping his body away from Matt’s as he licks into his mouth, as he marks a few claims over Matt’s skin. Mox will share his body, sure. But Matt will always, always be Adam’s.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Mox murmurs. Adam can hear rustling. “Look, you two both know you’re hot as hell, but this feels illegal to watch or something.” Adam thinks Mox has shucked all of his clothes. “Fuck.”

Adam slides his hand down Matt’s thigh and digs his fingers in the way he know gets Matt all whimpery, hiking his leg up. Matt drops his head back and moans.

“That one was on purpose, wasn’t it,” Mox says. Adam can hear his breathing. “Jesus Christ.”

Adam laughs. “Yeah. He’s good at being a pretty little performer.” Adam leans down and kisses Matt again, gently. “You ready, baby?”

Matt nods, determination in his eyes. “I got this.”

“Pretty little performer,” Adam repeated, voice no more than a murmur as he brushes Matt’s hair from his eyes. “One set of eyes on you isn’t enough, is it? You need two people all over you.”

Matt whines like he’s trying to get more contact.

“You want him over here too?” Adam asks. He bites at Matt’s neck. “Can’t get enough. Greedy son of a bitch, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Matt pants. “Greedy. Want both of you. C’mon.”

Adam feels the mattress dip as Mox sits on the bed next to Matt. “Pretty little thing,” he says. “Just wants to be used, huh?”

“Absolutely.” Adam pulls back to see Matt’s chest heaving. “One dick’s not enough for him. He’s gotta be split open by two.”

Matt whines. “This is fun and all, but I really, really want to get railed now, okay?”

“You know that’s not actually what you want,” Mox says. “Say what you actually want.”

Matt flames red. “I want you two inside of me at once.”

“That’s better,” Adam says. He grabs Matt by the hip and flips him over. “But first, we gotta get you ready.”

“I got an idea,” Mox says. He slides down the bed and palms at Matt’s ass. “You like getting eaten out?”

Adam rolls his eyes at how Matt immediately shifts so his ass is on display. “Yes,” he deadpans. “Yes, he does.”

“Cool,” Mox says, and he dives in.

Adam’s never gotten to see Matt’s face when somebody’s tongue is in his ass, but it’s almost as desperate and open as when he’s getting fucked.

“You like that?” Adam asks.

“Yes,” Matt hisses. “Yes, I – oh my god.”

“Tongue’s not just good for talking, huh?” Adam says. He leans in and kisses Matt, awkward as their faces are pressed into the mattress, but Matt doesn’t seem too upset about it.

Mox makes sloppy, slurping noises, eager and goal oriented, and Adam’s got no choice but to rip off his pants and stroke his dick about it.

“Please?” Matt asks, fluttering his eyelashes.

“No,” Adam says. “You have to wait. I’m not putting my dick in your mouth when you specifically asked for it in your ass.”

Matt pouts for a second, then gasps. “Oh, Mox, right there.”

“Yeah?” Mox says, and his beard is shimmering with spit. “There?”

Matt nods. “I can take another finger, c’mon.”

“When’d that happen?” Adam asks. He’s not confused, exactly. But.

“About a minute ago, when you were fucking around with him,” Mox says. “He took it so pretty, too.”

Adam can tell when Mox adds another finger by Matt’s face.

“You use the –”

“What do you think I am, an amateur?” Mox asks. He picks up the bottle, already with a sizeable amount missing, and wiggles it with his free hand. “Of course I used lube.” He must do something interesting with his fingers because Matt gasps. “Didn’t I, Matt?”

Matt nods. “Okay, this is fun, whatever, but this has been too much teasing.” He grabs at Adam’s arm until Adam falls so he’s half slumped on the pillows. “Get in me.”

“You are not ready,” Mox says. “Like, maybe for one.”

“Exactly,” Matt says, and he swings a leg over Adam’s hips and sinks down on Adam’s cock so fast it’s almost impossible. Matt exhales so deeply and so thoroughly it’s like he’s surfacing from a riptide. “There we go.” He rocks a little, like he’s getting used to the size of Adam. “Okay. Mox, go ahead.”

Adam and Mox meet eyes over Matt’s shoulders, and Adam sees his befuddlement mirrored in Mox’s eyes.

“When the fuck did you get the idea you’re in charge?” Mox asks. “And, no, hold on.”

“A finger, obviously,” Matt says, rolling his eyes. “Come on. You want in on this, right?” He rolls his hips masterfully and Adam can’t help the moan that escapes his lips. “You really want to wait?”

Mox bites his lip. “Jesus. You’re a fucking terror.”

“Isn’t he?” Adam says. “It’s great until it isn’t.”

Matt shrugs, throwing his hair over his shoulder. It slaps Mox in the face, but Matt doesn’t seem to even notice. He rolls his hips again.

“You gotta quit that, baby, or this’ll be over way too soon,” Adam says.

“Quick on the draw, Cowboy?”

“You shut the fuck up,” Adam says, glaring at Mox. “Nobody asked you.”

“Pretty sure your boyfriend asked me.”

“Would you two stop the measuring contest and start competing to see, like, who can fuck me better?” Matt asks. “Jesus. I thought I was the most annoying person in this room.”

“I hate it when you’re self-aware and still manage to insult me,” Adam says, but he leans up to pull Matt for a kiss.

He gasps into Matt’s mouth when he feels something brush up against the base of his dick and then alongside of it. Mox’s finger is careful, tentative, but such an unbelievable shift of experience that Adam might get addicted if he’s not careful.

“That’s – oh,” Matt says, shifting. “Okay. Yeah, that’s a lot.”

“Thought you could take Adam and the other dildo or whatever.”

“The dildo doesn’t move on its own, and it isn’t attached to a big, annoying bitch,” Matt retorts.

There’s a smack and Matt grins, eyes rolling back in his head.

“Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought,” Mox grumbles.

It takes ages. Mox is incredibly meticulous, Adam is still and concentrated, and Matt, bitchy and demanding as ever, doesn’t let up the litany of complaints and demands for more.

Finally, after what seems like years, Mox is set up behind Matt, his thighs spread over Adam’s as he presses along Matt’s back.

“Are you ready?” Mox asks. “If there’s any problems –”

“There won’t be,” Matt promises.

“Matt,” Adam says, grabbing his face and turning him to look into Adam’s eyes.

Matt nods. “I’ll say. I promise.”

“Good boy.” He yanks Matt down for one last kiss. “He ready, Mox?”

“I think so.” Adam’s never seen such concentration written on Mox’s brow before. “Alright, Matt?”

“Do it,” Matt says, punctuating with a deep exhale.

Adam drops against the headboard as he feels the blunt head of Mox’s cock slide in next to him. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he breathes.

Matt braces his hands on Adam’s chest, eyes squeezed shut.

Adam reaches up, brushes his knuckles against Matt’s cheek. “You okay?”

Matt nods. “Just – it’s so much.”

“In a good way?” Mox asks, voice tight.

“An amazing way,” Matt says. He wiggles his hips and Adam feels – fucking hell, he can feel Mox’s cock rub up against his. “Oh, this is great.”

“Do you want me to move?” Mox asks.

“Yes,” Adam and Matt say at the same time.

Mox chuckles. “Don’t have to be so eager for it, you two.” Adam can’t see much but Mox’s face, but he can feel when he pulls his hips back then pushes in further. Matt whines. “Okay, mostly you.” Mox leans in and pulls Matt’s hair back from his face. “Taking two at once like the best hole there is.”

Matt whines, dropping his head. “I wanna move,” he says, “I – but I can’t. I feel – this is –” He cuts off as Mox pulls just a little further back. “Oh, god, I can’t do anything.”

“Is that a good thing?” Adam asks. He glances down and Matt’s leaking like a broken faucet, still hard as a rock.

“It’s amazing,” Matt says, “like – like I have to – like I can’t – it’s up to you two.” Adam can tell he’s trying to say something else but can’t get the words out, so Adam twitches his hips just the tiniest bit and both Matt and Mox yelp.

“Goddamnit, Cowboy,” Mox growls. “Get your hips back on the bed.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Adam says, but he does, as slow as he can, settle his hips back down flat. Matt’s eyes roll back.

“I – Mox,” he says. “Move. Do – please?”

It’s not like how he’s used to it, with Matt. Mox keeps adding lube when he pulls out and it’s getting everywhere, and Matt’s hands stay on Adam’s chest, arms, stomach, bracing himself and digging in nails. It’s slow. It’s intentional. And it’s incredible.

“I’m so proud of you, Matty,” Adam murmurs, and he reaches down to stroke at Matt’s cock. “Look at you. I knew you could do it, but I didn’t – you’re so good at this.”

Matt’s eyes flutter shut at the praise. “Yeah, I knew I could, too.”

Mox snorts. “The fuck have I gotten myself into…”

“Matt, obviously,” Adam replies, stroking Matt with the end goal in sight.

Something about the phrase does it for Matt, and he comes with a whimper, quiet for the first time of his life, as he paints Adam’s chest and stomach. The way he clenches around Mox and Adam, tight and hot and – fuck. Adam’s not even done much, but he needs it.

“Matt, you okay if I…?”

“Yes,” Matt says to Mox. Adam feels like he’s being tormented, still and powerless as he waits.

Mox rolls his hips gently, the head of his cock catching against Adam’s, and Adam can barely handle it. It’s taking more restraint than he knew he had not to go wild. Instead, he swipes at the come on his chest and offers messy fingers to Matt, who takes them into his mouth eagerly.

“I hate how hot you two are,” Mox grumbles, voice tight. But then he grunts and Adam feels his dick pulse against his own as he gently, slowly, rocks his hips. The press against Adam’s dick, the feeling of Mox’s come next to him inside of Matt. He didn’t think he was that close, but, then again, there was once a time where he didn’t think he’d be with Matt again, either.

He closes his eyes and has to force his hips still. “I’m – oh, god, I can’t – I want to, but I can’t –”

“Are we accidentally edging you?” Matt giggles. He tilts his hips back and Adam feels Mox slip his softening dick out.

“Yes,” Adam answers. “Matty, please, I have to…” He can’t even speak. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes as he knows how close he is, how badly he needs to come.

“Are you begging me?” Matt asks, and Adam opens his eyes to see Matt on top of his, grinning and gleeful. “Is this a role reversal?”

Adam wraps an arm behind Matt’s back and flips them, slamming Matt to the mattress. His dick is painfully hard, he’s so close. “Can I fuck you?” he asks before sliding back into Matt. He knows Matt might be sore, sensitive, not able to do anything further. He hovers, as still as he can get himself. He knows he might have to find some other way to get off. But he has to. He can’t wait anymore.

“Please fuck me,” Matt says, eyes soft, and Adam dives back in.

He can feel Mox’s come around his cock like last time, easing the glide, and it’s over in seconds. He lets out a hoarse cry as he buries himself deep inside of Matt, adding to Mox’s mess, dropping down on shaking elbows.

He feels a hand on his back, calloused and huge. “Damn, man.”

Adam lifts his head. “Hmm?”

“That was some fucking wild restraint,” Mox says. He rolls to the side of the bed, laying next to Matt and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “I’ve never seen anybody simultaneously out of his fucking mind and steady in my life.”

Adam shrugs, still breathing heavily. “Not gonna hurt him,” Adam mutters, dropping his head back down. It’s too much work to keep it up. “Never gonna hurt him again, if I can help it.”

Matt sighs and runs his fingers through Adam’s hair. “Love you, too.”

Mox groans. “How did double penetration turn fucking tender? I hate both of you.”

“You do not,” Adam says, and he finally can steady his muscles enough to pull out of Matt at the slowest pace possible, his cock stinging with oversensitivity. He falls to the side with open arms and Matt dives into them, clamoring onto Adam’s chest like an eager starfish. Mox scoots in to fill the space, lining his body against Adam’s.

“Hey,” Mox says. “You good?”

Adam nods, sleepy but sated. “Different than I expected. You’re a bitch even when your cock’s next to mine. I’m surprised.”

Mox shrugs. “Meeting the energy of the room, you could say.”

Matt lifts a weak arm and flips Mox off.

They lay like that, cozy and quiet, for some time. Adam finds his mind wiped, his body tired, and his anxiety gone. There’s not enough energy left in him to feel it. He trails fingers up and down Matt’s spine, knuckles along Mox’s chest. It’s almost too comfortable. He might need to find an excuse to do something like this again, just to reach this feeling afterwards where things feel this comfortably blank. He’ll start thinking up experiments when he has enough brain power to remember his own name.

When he hears little snuffles he thinks Matt’s fallen asleep, which would mean waking him up which is always unpleasant. He exchanges a little smile with Mox, who raises an eyebrow. Adam shrugs.

A few moments later, Matt finally stirs and sits up.

“So,” he says, smiling a little sleepy but with light in his eyes. “How do the two of you feel about spitroasting?”

“Can we recover from the first threesome first and then talk about the next one?” Adam asks, pulling Matt’s hair away from his face. “The king of one track minds, I swear.”

“There’s a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom,” Mox offers. “Speaking of recovery, you know.” He tucks some of Matt’s hair behind his ear, gentler than Adam expected. “You’re gonna be sore for a while, babe.”

Matt turns a little pinker.

“You just called him babe,” Adam says, and he hears laughter in his voice. “Be careful. That’s how the two of us ended up together the first time.”

Mox stands up and stretches. Adam’s no longer above watching that scarred, beautiful body as it moves, lean muscles under decorated skin. He figures fucking his boyfriend alongside Mox makes all boundaries disappear. “I’ll hear that story someday, I’m sure,” he mutters. “But let’s go check out that jacuzzi.”

~

Mini Playlist: Greedy - Ariana Grande 3 - Britney Spears FUCK - Snow Wife Your Wish Is My Command - Kim Petras

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life Episode 15 and 16 liveblogging

This is my first watch, so don't tell me secrets ;)

This massacre just doesn't feel like a crown prince move? 🤔🤔

Going back to the reason they were on Cow Street... Are they going to figure out that Si Lili is a northern qing agent?

Looks like me and ML are on the same page..?

Yeah I remember when she burned her cover earlier. Damn ur bro died because you trusted a mysterious stranger who you knew to be a good liar, able to defeat knockout drugs, and not a real courtesan. In retrospect, not a good look. Idiotic forced romance misunderstandings are the mind killer.

Now he's gonna hire crooked map seller as his subordinate... we'll see how that goes.

I suppose I better learn his name: Wang Qinian, Wang Qinian, Wang Qinian!

We got a backhug! Very romance.

Dad shows up for him at the bridge.

The horses are imperial army. This is stirring up my carefully repressed conspiracy theory that ML's a Secret Royal.

Ok so.... Those guards are from the emperor's personal army. And who is The Bureau Head? Do we know??? He and Dad had "not an ordinary friendship". (also the english subs are using "he" but I don't see 他 used in the Mandarin subs? I guess I'll just presume the subbers know more than me)

Fan Daddy and the Emperor are super interesting together. This is the closest to anyone who's been able to go toe to toe with the emperor. For a moment they almost walked side by side (still dad a step behind). Here we finally see how he could have captured the heart (or at least the friendship?) of the iconic woman ML' mom is reported to be.

I'm actually the most interested about the emperor's relationship with Marvolous Mom. Were they frenemies? besties? lovers? comrades in arms? She was so larger than life, I can't believe she didn't mean SOMETHING to him. Did she have a hand in the shaping of the foundation of his rule, 16+ years ago? 🤔

Lord Zhu is also tracking Si Lili. Hope you help the cause instead of fucking the chase up

lololololol crap maps strike again!

This plan is awful. ... oh good, ML agrees

Ok, she's disappearing! But WHERE???

This is all very exciting! I hope they catch her! Go team go!

Finally he gets to use his poison skills again \o/

Episode 16

Is there anything that Wang Qinian doesn't know?! He may be the most powerful master in the land 👑

"When I met Si Lili for the first time, I drugged her." "Lord, is this a good addiction?" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm enjoying the ridiculousness of this chase. Reminds me of the circular "if you suspect that I suspect that you would have suspected..." battle of wits from The Princess Bride

There she is!

Now she's asking the question I have - how is luring him here gonna put him in peril?

ah, naturally an ambush! So how will she be defeated?

...soliders? Did he send a carrier pigeon?

The Black Knights belong to the head... Who is the head?????? Uncle Wu? Grandma?

Chen Pingping?? The king of assassins. If I should already know who this is, you're laughing at me right now.

He's using the public display offense again

Royal Princess has a 1 track mind. Come on, CP! I'm (sort of) rooting for you. Not in the power struggle, but to have your own ambitions and get out from under your wacked aunt's thumb. She's lost perspective & she's not on your side, just her own.

ML is very smart but even if she tells him something, why believe it

I don't trust this water

Don't trust her ML!! This is not Arkham Asylum catch & release

Wang Qinain works for Chen Pingping, right? The way he was fishing was super suspicious.

Yan Ruohai keeps having to save ML's ass, how tragic for him

'I thought you were going to save me?' Si Lili, girl are you for real?! He offered to save you IF you cooperated and you didn't.

Why do I feel like ML doesn't trust Wang Qinain as much as he pretends to?

Sister Ruoruo visiting the Crown Prince? What's the deal there? She's promising to join his team... Why? Like me does she suspect that he's chasing after Fan Xian as a deluded compulsion, like a dog after an ambulance..? So she thinks if she explains his moves the CP will realize he's not a real threat? Or is she trying to spy on him? Or.. she really just wants to hedge her bets? 🤔

UGH the fact that 🍗 just gives these weak ass little protests to her mom and brother but doesn't fight for the guy she clearly likes. Not even manipulative tears! sigh. Just crumbles like a paper bag. She and ML are cute when they're alone but perhaps her personality is just not my cup of tea.

The person 🍗's bestie saw is also the person that is coming to interrogate Si Lili.... Right?????

[captainlexapro]

blue’s journey to play hockey update #3:

I am now two weeks post-Learn to Skate and three private lessons in! I ended the LTS classes still working on level 3 stuff. Level 4 seems to have a lot more figure skating skills (spins and jumps), which i’m definitely down to learn but a) i won’t need those really at all in hockey and b) they are harder to do in hockey skates (shorter, rounder blade and no toe pick).

Overall, i enjoyed my LTS class. I think my teenybopper figure skating coach really grew into the role as time passed (she’s probs like 16-17). *I* was proud of *her* growth lol. and i also think she was a little sad when i said i probably won’t be signing up for the next session 😪 i was the most consistent student in terms of attendance (never missed a week!) i just think private lessons will be more helpful going forward.

I got two private coaching lessons at a slight discount (bc i was currently doing LTS) and i had to get myself back in the sport mindset of being coached and open to criticism. I haven’t been properly coached in about 10 years (since doing sports in high school). Had my third lesson yesterday. He said i should have been a figure skater and that i’m exceptional given my experience level 🙃 💔i am very proud of that but also i’m like damn. Wasted potential. 😪

he wants to start doing stuff with a stick next time and i’m already kinda worried bc i still haven’t even held a hockey stick, let alone skated with one. I also don’t feel confident enough on skates yet to do that but i guess if he thinks i’m ready enough??

I try really hard to get to public skate on a weekday (since it’s wayyy slower) once a week. I went on sunday last weekend and ohmygod. Never again if i can avoid it - sooooo crowded. Kids flying all over the place. Basically no room to really truly practice unless you’re doing small stuff in a corner. I’m still too worried if i go harder i’ll make a mistake and take somebody out. My weekday time is usually me, an older couple practicing figure skating and another guy practicing jumps and spins and stuff. Much more room and much better vibes.

Idk if i mentioned during my last update - i think this happened after that - but at a public skate session like a month ago i fell pretty hard on my elbow (super grateful there wasn’t any major damage other than bruising on my arm) but i believe i went into mild shock after 😵‍💫 i stood up and felt realllyyyy weird and had to get off the ice and sit on the bench with my head near my knees for 5 minutes until i felt normal again. Not fun! Lmao that kinda happened a teeny bit yesterday when i fell on my knee at my lesson (which is VERY sore today but again, grateful it’s not worse). I still only have roller skating pads and my hockey helmet but i don’t wear them every time (it depends how hard i’m going to push but karma seems to bite me in the ass 🫠)

Gonna do private lessons every other week and still do public skate at least once a week. The tentative plan right now is to do the learn to play hockey class come the new year (though i’m already worried i’ll be the only adult amongst children and i still don’t have gear nor do i know how to put it on oh lord i’m so nervous alreadyyy). Maybe my skating coach will help with that timeline and give suggestions about what to do.

That’s it for now! If you read all of this thanks for keeping up and i love you and i hope you have a good day 🫶