#keep trying to take one more step in the hope that it'll. idk.

[herawell]

.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Come Back to You | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Jungkook is going off to war but you can't let him go without telling him... Pairing: Reader x Soldier Jungkook Word Count: 670 because I cried the whole time and wanted to stop. Warning: Explicit language and angst :( a/n: Yeah no I didn't think I would cry as much as I did after seeing Jungkook's/the last BTS live until Jin comes back so yeah I figured I would channel some of that into writing really quick. Obviously written in one sitting and idk it's kinda shit but oh well lmao.

"Get out of here, just go"

"Please just let me explain" he begs chasing after me into my apartment building. "You had plenty of time to explain and instead you decide to tell me that you're leaving in the morning and you're not sure if you're coming back" I say getting even more upset. "How was I supposed to tell you when you kept ignoring my calls and messages and then when I finally got the chance to see you it would only be in places where we couldn't have private conversations" he explains. 

"Oh, so now it's my fault?" I question as I unlock my door and leave it open, still letting him in even though all I want to do is shut him out. "That's not what I meant" he says softly, closing it behind us and lowering his voice since he no longer has to chase after me. "Then what did you mean Jungkook? That you felt like you had no choice but to leave things left unsaid until there was no going back? Jungkook I love you" I yell, tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall. "I love you too" he reciprocates. 

"No Jungkook, I'm in love with you" I say now with a softer voice as well, hating that he had to find out like this. "I know I've always said we're just friends and that's all that we were ever going to be but I can't keep saying that because I am suffocating" I admit, finally letting some tears fall and quickly wiping them away, mad and sad and embarrassed and heartbroken and a whole other range of emotion that a human could possibly go through in moments like this. 

"I've been in love with you for years and you've known that all this time. Why didn't you tell me when you realized that you felt the same way?" he says trying to take a step towards me but I in turn take a step back. "I didn't realize it until now. As much as I fucking hate to say it, you never know how much you love something until it's gone" I say, letting the tears fall freely, mad that I let myself be so immature, keeping all of these emotions inside of me for too long. 

"I won't be gone forever though" he says trying to take another step towards me and me again taking another step back. "Jungkook you're going off to war, you can't just say things like that" I let out, trying to keep my voice level. "People go off to war to serve and come back safely all the time. I don't think it'll be any different for me" he says, his voice soft and reassuring. 

"And what if you don't huh? What if this really is the last time I see you?" I say, getting frustrated with him all over again. "But it won't be" "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT" I yell, all of the anger and frustration built up inside of me bursting at the seams. Not caring about my want for space anymore he rushes over and pulls me in, almost crushing me from his tight embrace. "I don't want to lose you" I sob, my whole body losing it's strength as he guides both of us onto the floor and has me straddle him so he can hold me closer. 

"Shh, shhh" he soothes, tears of his own starting to fall, losing the strong resolve that he had tried to keep up for my sake. "I love you" I sob, hoping that this will somehow make a difference in the outcome. "I'll come home as soon as I can. I promise" he says running his hand along my back. "What if you can't make it back? What if they keep you there for years and you stop putting in the effort to come home?" I say, breaking even more if that's even possible.

"I will never stop trying to find a way to come back to you"  

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[chaisshitposts]

Hi I am rabbit🐇 anon and I wanna say that Idk why but i m not understanding the pych-k method like i don't get what PPL say especially when ppl tag that post I just don't get it so can you tell step by step how to do pych-k method for void.

P.s we r same age lol

oh yeah??? cool! glad to meet a fellow adult 🐇 anon🤝 and that's ok, I'm more than happy to explain it for ya in simpler terms, it be like that sometimes so I get it. yer mind is like a computer, yer subconscious is the motherboard of info, and while ya do psych-k ya are basically downloadin' an entirely new program with new codin' and all that jazz with the affirmations ya choose, then ya save that affirmation in yer motherboard.

psych-k is about usin' yer entire brain, both hemispheres simultaneously, and how to do it is super simple. when you're just startin' out with it, I always recommend that ya start off with your left side (it doesn't really matter what side ya start with but some people do better when they have clear instructions)

left side -> ya wanna start off with crossin' yer left ankle over yer right ankle, set yerself a five minute timer and then start it, immediately afterwards you're gonna cross yer left wrist over yer right wrist and then interlock yer fingers. for a visual aid, check out this video -> it's not very long and I hope it'll be easy for ya to follow while ya are doin' this pose, you're gonna close yer eyes and repeat yer affirmation for the duration of yer timer. with this pose, ya more than likely will start to feel an influx of thoughts that may try and argue with yer affirmation. it's important to invite those negative thoughts and just let them flow, let them happen, and just keep repeatin' yer affirmation over and over. what yer doin' is teachin' yerself somethin' new until these resistant and negative thoughts disappear. i should also mention that sometimes ya may not experience any negative thoughts at all, which is fine too, just keep affirmin' for the five minutes. some folks also report that they feel physical symptoms when doin' psych-k, which is also normal, and it's perfectly okay if ya don't, that's also normal, everyone is impacted differently.

ya hold this posture for the entirety of yer five minute timer. once you're done you're gonna 'save' yer progress by uncrossin' your ankles and wrists and then press the finger tips of both yer hands together (kinda like when villains are havin' their evil scheme moment, y'know) just make sure all yer fingers touch each other and hold it for 10 seconds --- like below BUT MAKE SURE ALL YER FINGERS TOUCH TIPS 🙏, no palms need to be touched, you're not prayin'.

once you're done, you're gonna repeat the entire process for the right side where ya cross yer right ankle over left ankle, and yer right wrist over yer left wrist, hold that pose for five minutes with yer timer and then save it again with the pose mentioned above.

ideally, this'll completely change whatever limitin' belief ya had with the affirmation ya chose after a single session, BUT sometimes it can take more than one single session of psych-k which is also completely normal especially when dealin' with something that's been deeply embedded in yer mind for such a long time. think of it like a stubborn program in yer computer that you're tryna get rid of, sometimes it can take a few tries to completely wipe out the old programming.

somethin' else that can happen is that psych-k did work but does not instantly reflect in your 3D which can sometimes make people think it didn't work so they fall back into old thinkin' and start reaffirmin' the old story. h o w e v e r, ya can easily find out if psych-k worked through the use of muscle testin'. I'll provide some reference posts for muscle testin' below which can also be used in combination with any and all methods of manifestin'.

muscle testing applied kinesiology

psych-k is just a form of focused, super affirmin'. it can also be used to calm yerself down just from simply crossin' your ankles, many people do it unconsciously without realizin'. i recommend that the next time ya have a moment of panic, anxiety, or any other negative feeling, ya should try crossin' yer ankles and see what happens. 🕵️

if ya need anymore clarification, just let me know!!!

[burningcheese-merchant]

I have. A few things to say! First of all, thank you for writing for here (and there, but I do not have an AO3)! I’m very in much love with someone going crazy for another and *mwah* do you do it right and justice! That said, prioritize yourself! Drink water! Eat! Do not burn out, and do not feel pressured to do stuff! I hope that your spark burns for long after this fandom!

Thank you so, so much for your kind words! I know you sent multiple asks, so I'm going to try to respond to the first two in one post, if that's ok! (I'll answer the PitayaFire one separately)

Don't you know that the truest, most profound kind of love is born not beneath the soft, pale light of the full moon, not in the sound of a pair's steps as they dance the night away, not within the warmth and security of a tender embrace, but within the walls of the solitary confinement cell in the "dangerous and violent" housing section of a psych ward? LOL jk. It's really fun writing a lovesick/obsessed person for some reason. I don't have this dynamic for any of my other ships, this is the first time I've opted to explore a darker, more uncomfortable and unstable route/interpretation of a "relationship" and it's honestly been a blast lol. (I DO also ship mutual BurningCheese, but under specific conditions, AKA Burning Spice has a redemption arc and GC falls for him on her own. I just can't justify them being together if he's still evil. So long as he is, the love is one-sided)

I really am grateful for your compliments and encouragement. I've got a super big and important BurningCheese fic in the oven rn, but I do need to actually focus on real life for a bit, so it'll be some time. I'll be posting drabbles on here and a fic or two on AO3 where BS is NOT dangerously insane, just a regular asshole who's down bad lol

You can rest assured that my crazy diamond will continue shining on long after I get tired of these games about talking cookies. I always loved writing, it's my favorite hobby and it's my only way of expressing my creativity since I can't draw to save my life. I actually have a 100% original work I've been tinkering with for a loooong time, but I always wanted that story to be told in comic form, and to do that... I have to learn to draw lol. (And that's... a really big mountain to climb. I want to climb it more than anything, but I don't know if I can. Feels like I keep slipping and falling on my ass every time I try to take and retake the first step on the first rock, you know? Idk how anyone does it, honestly...) In any case, I'm truly grateful for you and everyone else who bothers to look at my work and actually thinks it's good for some reason

Did you see that gacha animation though 👀 The way BS is looking at her 👀 y'all can't tell me he ain't thirsty. Look at that twinkle in his eye. Look at that smile. He wants to tear up more than just those wings, I'm telling you 👀 Shadow Milk is a silly billy, he thinks puppet shows and gaslighting are how you flirt with people. Mystic Flour is probably just like "what. What is this. Who is this man. Why is he handsome. Why do I feel this way. Emotions are futile. Love is ephemeral. I will not stray from the path. I will trap him in my mind prison and torture him. That will fix it. He will surrender to apathy. He will return my soul jam. He will see how smart and correct I am. Cloud Haetae will sing my praises to him until he believes them. Yes. That is what will happen. Victory is mine. I am Very Normal about this." Burning Spice? Down horrendous. Down crazy. When GC is there, it's like no one else is in the room. Won't stop smiling. Only mentions the Soul Jam once, focuses on her specifically the whole rest of the time. First real thing he says to her is how much she impresses him. Throws a tantrum after their fight essentially because she didn't step on him hard enough. Down bad. Down bad. Down bad. Ain't no way he isn't. You can't change my mind

Sorry for rambling. TL;DR: Yo Socrates, it's a fucking cookie (also thank you for your support)

[fictionfixations]

all the sad tales

penacony + aventurine spoilers

the wiki probably contains this but for my own sake i need to keep this somewhere.

(it'll be in bold. what im not sure on will not be in bold)

(The murmurs near your ears grow louder, more booming. You can even see another ████ ████████. Let's hope you can hold on until the moment you step onto the stage of the amusement park.)

(whited out parts are parts i cant decipher yay)

im going to try my hardest not to miss anything because i really like aventurine and i want to take my time with this. but i also sometimes have a really short attention span or get too immersed in something that i forget everything else so like...

(You ████████ ██ ██ █ ██████ discovered a strange child -- He seems to hail from the Avgin origins(?)... Weren't they already wiped out?)

(need to stop sprinting. i keep noticing breakable objects or chest so then i sprint towards them and im going to end up missing something instead of just heading straight into activating more of the story)

bby kakavasha runs so fast oh my god (its kind of sad to imagine that he can run so fast probably to run away from well yknow...)

(You are completely entranced by the Avgin boy. Just who is(?) he? There's still time. Maybe you can catch up to him and ask him exactly what █████████.) (happened?) (the extra whited out part on just who --- is probably a space. otherwise it could be was but hm.)

(im going to cry if i miss checking it because an enemy is chasing after me and i run headfirst into story. yes i am a coward who doesnt like starting battles if i can help it. makes me wish i had acheron but id honestly never use her in battle unless i had someone to regenerate skill points considering i have 5 star dan heng, so other attack ppl on team dont get much attention, and i dont really know how to use her beside tehcnique insta kill?? does that mean i can whip out a lvl 1 acheron and it works??)

dont plan on talking about the dialogue too much (i saw multiple people go through the story before i started ngl) but (also aventurine boss creeping up on me... i literally only have one person on team who attacks multiple at a time, and no one else outside of the team is as built)

LISTEN. have you SEEn hyenas playfighting its fucking adorable. call someone a hyena, i call it a compliment.

i missed the first piece of text... i forgot...

(*Ride the Pinball Machine)

still the same

i dont know why but the puzzles in penacony make me lag so bad. the puzzles, the pinball machine, or that dreamweaver thing. bruh.

(*Win the Hide and Seek game and find the Avgin boy)

anyway from what im understanding you can tell how many letters are missing because its as many characters as a character is missing. whenever ive blacked out text i never do that cause its so much bigger than the original text (i do one block for every two letters ngl. but i also dont do it with the intention of people deciphering what it says)

(*Play the roll of █████ film) (wound?)

i dont know film terms enough to even decipher what it could be. it could be color. black. white.

wound? wound as in rolling? like uh uh. past tense of wind. like winding up a roll. a wound roll. cause the description of wounds.. it could be related to his family. or..

I MISSED IT AGAIN 'there is only water, not rock' or something like that

(*Leave the maze)

(*Check the things you(?) lost)

i cant decipher this one 😭. you??? (Leave the maze you(?) █o) but i dont know what would make sense of it then. idk.

oh fuck i forgot to check the objective. its. probably the same as the other one for when finding a 'lost' object but like...

AGHHH wiki came in clutch

(*Check the lost things and memories)

(*Escape escape(?) the maze escape(?) the past/last(?) escort(?)) (this is a lot of 'idk')

(Failure discarded selfish useless pointless coward murderer gambler blessed discarded loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's beloved crazy murderer blessed failure discarded loser pointless coward murderer chosen-one selfish fool(?) blessed discarded loser chosen-one you(?) loser discarded pointless coward(?) murderer gambler blessed █isc█████ useless loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's blessed/beloved(?) loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser ████ ████ ███████████ ███ ██████ █████ █ ██ ████ █)

there might be way more losers then there should be because my eyes were getting confused. and also more of the blacked out character

this line right here makes me wonder why he's still in the IPC after like the end of 2.2 (..im pretty sure 2.3 is the next update)

my brain power is failing on me idk what this one is

im going to turn my settings to max for the picture because its so fucking pixel-y. im going to try to save it before my pc crashes.

my one complaint: the taking a picture function that continues the story disappears when you get close to kakavasha. so i cant take a photo with him and continue the story.,

whatever.where the fuck is the screenshot folder im crying

oh my god the LAUNCHER? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNow after i go through the star rail folder > games folder > starrail_data folder > screenshots

thats way too many folders for me to even notice 😭

second image cuz yes

I RAN PAST THE TEXT AGAIN

'there'll be one beside you' or something im sorry my memory is shit short term i already forgot

I MISSED MORE OF THE FLOATING TEXT 😭😭

'over plains, endless'

'into cracked earth, stumbling'

im stressed so im getting distracted

ARE YOU READY KIDS? I CANT HEAR YOUUU. WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

"So run, Kakavasha, do not be afraid, and do not look back."

now go back and reread the previous quest thing.

okay thats it i think

[kryptiq-kreachur]

Do you have tips on uploading trad art to tumblr and not having it look scuffed as all hell 😭😭😭 your art looks great pls share your secrets

Aaaa, thank you! I actually decided to shift my focus back to traditional art very recently and it means a lot to hear that ;; I hope this helps you and anyone else with similar questions!!

So I have two methods that I usually rely on when capturing my traditional art. The first one is kind of limited, but it is faster and more accessible. For these demonstrations, I'm going to use a colored sketch of my OC, Brinley. Step One: Taking Your Photo! All you'll need for the first method is your phone. What you want to do first is to find an area with nice, even lighting- the less warm, the less you'll have to correct later, so the closer to daylight, the better. In fact, using the light outside is a great way to capture your art! Note: If you are in a place with very cool lighting you will also have to correct the colors, but in my experience, cooler light is easier to work with. Position your artwork so it's illuminated with the light source directly in front of you. If it is behind you, it will be harder to get your shadow out of the shot. The spot I was in had my light source behind me, so my arm covered it a bit.

I repositioned myself to a spot with the light source in front of me instead, and I was able to get a nicer shot.

Keep your phone as level as possible over your drawing, and as close as possible without your phone going out of focus.

And now the first step is done! Step Two: Editing Your Photo! This is where everything starts to come together! Firstly, crop your drawing to your preference. I try to keep the negative space around my art as even as possible. IPhones have a handy feature where you can choose an even aspect ratio, so that will help keep things simpler if you want. Next, all you have to do is mess with the settings until you get it how you want it to look. Filters can help it to look more cohesive. I like to keep the art close by me to reference so I can get it to look as close to real life as possible. Note: black and white art is the easiest to edit due to the high contrast. Finished! Congrats! Your art is ready to post! Here's what my sketch looked like after I added a vivid filter and then messed with the settings.

The second method can be a bit more difficult, but the results always look better than just taking a photo. What you'll need is a computer (I think you can also use an ipad- any device will work as long as it can connect to the scanner), a scanner and any art/photo editing software. Step One: Scanning! The scanner I use is technically used for office work, but can be used to scan photos, therefore the quality is very much in the middle. There are scanners that are used purely for scanning high quality images of art and photography that will produce much better results on the initial scan, but this works just fine! There are also stores and other places where you can scan your work even if you don't own a scanner. First, make sure your art is as flat as possible and in the middle of the scanning bed. It doesn't have to be perfectly straight as it can be edited later, but if it isn't flat or it's on the edge of the bed, it will end up blurry in some areas or completely cut off. After that, go to your device and set the resolution to at least 300 dpi to guarantee a high quality scan, and then begin. This is what my sketch looked like after the initial scan.

Now we can move onto the next step! Step Two: Editing! You may have noticed that the colors are very washed out- scanners that aren't optimized for art and photos tend to do this, but with some editing, it'll look great! After opening it in CSP and selecting a canvas size, it's ready to edit! Note: Opening the image directly will automatically set the document's dpi to 72. Idk if that's a constant for other programs, but this means the overall image quality will be very low, so the picture has to be imported into a higher quality document with dpi set to 300 manually. I usually just copy and paste it into another document. Level correction is your friend! That's the correction layer I use the most when editing and it does the most heavy lifting, usually. After that, I sometimes edit the saturation. Since this is a digital method, you can edit your drawing however you want! You can fix some mistakes this way, or completely change things. There were notes and a sketch next to this drawing that i didn't want, so i painted over them with white- since i edited the level correction to up the exposure, the painted areas are indistinguishable from the background. Finally, I add either a gradient map for cohesion or fiddle with the tone curve until I'm happy with the final product. Once again, I like to keep the original art next to me while I'm editing for reference. (And then after that I might add a noise filter or some other effect, LMAO) Finished!! And now you have your scanned art!

These are all the editing layers I used!

Like with anything, trial and error are very important! You'll get better at editing art over time, so don't be discouraged if it doesn't look like you wanted it to the first time. Thank you for the ask, bye!!!!!!!

[the-inkwell-variable]

friday kiss tag ˚.⋆

thank you, @the-golden-comet, for the tag! i'm trying something a little different today. today, i'm writing a scene from scratch instead of grabbing something from a wip. i desperately need the warm-up, and i think @leahpardo-pa-potato might actually riot if i keep avoiding the kisses (i'm teasing of course, ilu <3) consider the following part of the corpse and the killer - and hopefully enjoy! (SIDE NOTE: kia calls jason 'jas'. it's pronounced 'jase'. the e makes it look weird so i leave it off, but that makes it look like 'jass' and i hate that. idk man read it how you want i'm not a cop) TAGGING @drchenquill - @wyked-ao3 - @willtheweaver - open tag!

"I will fix it."

"Are you kidding me?" Kia stared into the soulless glowing slits that served as eyes. As long as he wore that mask, it was easy to forget who was underneath - easy to blame, to hate, to rage against. "Did you already forget how badly you've fucked Gotham City? In one night - one fucking night - you've blown up Ace Chemicals-"

"That was Batman."

"-set every major villain loose in the streets-"

"Not every major villain - and that was Scarecrow anyway."

"-and turned everyone in the streets into freakin' zombies." She ran her hands through her pink hair, over and over, until her space buns fell apart into waves that framed her face. "I don't care if you're Superman. You're not winning this one. No one is, not without nuking the city off the face of the earth and all of us with it."

"Hey." His large hands, surprisingly soft in their gloves, completely covered her shoulders. "It's going to be fine. My men are on their way to evacuate us. In helicopters. You've always wanted to ride a helicopter."

Kia laughed, a dizzied titter. "Right, right. It'll be great. We'll just hop on a helicopter and fly away from this mess, shall we? Pretend it never happened? As if the government won't shoot us out of the sky to prevent the infection from spreading. As if the zombies won't leave the city as soon as they realize there are no more people to hunt. As if you and Scarecrow haven't started the end of the fucking world." She laughed again and shook her head. "You've always been starting shit, Jas, and you've always gotten us out of it. But I dunno how you're gonna get us out of this one."

"I will get us out of this, Kia-bear." He pressed a button on the side of his helmet, and his mask slid up to reveal his face. The corners of his hazel brown eyes were pinched and tight. The scar, a jagged J, stretched across his cheekbone. She recognized his smile immediately - it was the smile he had always given her as a kid when he felt trapped in a corner. When he stepped forward to take Black Mask's beatings on her behalf. When he accepted a job that he knew he wasn't prepared for because they so desperately needed the cash. Jason felt as trapped as she did, but he was denying it to give her hope.

That should have comforted her.

"Stop fucking lying, Jason." She jerked away from him. Her arms immediately missed his warmth. "I don't know what skills you picked up when you were adopted by that rich bitch, but there's no way you're getting us out of this one. You fucked up, big time, and every single person left in Gotham is either already dead or going to die because of it. You call yourself the Arkham Knight - Gotham's savior - but you've fucked us all, just because you wanted to put a bullet in Batman's head."

She was shouting now. Militia members were glancing over. A few had their hands on their service weapons. She didn't care. She closed the distance between them again and jabbed a finger in his chest, as if their half-a-foot size difference didn't even exist. "We're fucked, Jason. Well and truly and completely and utterly fucked. No one is going to let us leave! We're better off staying on this rooftop and hoping the zombies starve to death before we do! Don't you get that?! Don't you-"

His lips crushed against hers, insistent and desperate. They moved against her greedily, sucking the fight right out of her. Her knees weakened and forced her to lean against him, cotton fluff hoodie against kevlar. His lips were softer than she'd expected - though she hadn't ever expected to kiss her childhood best friend. He tasted of peanut butter and cigarettes. She dug her fingers into his sleeves and forgot for a moment that they were going to die.

When he pulled away, she almost leaned in after him. Her heart pounded in her chest, desperate to follow him. Despite the cold rain that stung her face, her entire body felt like a fireplace - hot, sizzling, glowing. She stared up at him. He grinned down at her as if he hadn't just stolen the very breath from her lungs. "Trust me," he said, his voice a low growl that left her knees weak all over again. "I won't let anything happen to you. Not now, not ever."

[macabrecake]

cake, my beloved, idk if you've been asked this but given this is the stuff you've been putting out - I thought I'd ask,

dam! leon x fem! reader x re6! leon smut?

pls and ty <3

I. AM. ON. MY. KNEES. RIGHT NOW. GOD HELP

Thought ID and Vendetta Leon was the final boss??? NAH IT'S THESE FUCKING TWO

LOOK AT THEM AND TRY TO CONVINCE ME THAT YOU WOULD STILL BE ABLE TO WALK AFTER THEY'RE DONE WITH YOU. Also hi I'm cutting this close but Merry Christmas Gabby! Have a sandwich! 💕💕💕

Minors step back this is a whole different kind of Christmas present.

"Come on sweetheart. You're not tired already, are you?"

Tired no.

But oh so ready to finally break.

Leon Scott Kennedy, and Leon Scott Kennedy two years from now, have been at this sweetly cruel game for what felt like ages.

It started when one kiss turned into two, then three, then five more.

One suddenly gives into his need for a challenge and shows, despite them being the same, just who exactly is the one and only man that can rock your world the best. In the form of a gentle bite turned hickey where he knows it'll get you squirming the most.

His counterpart decides to outdo him and places another, before a small galaxy ends up being intricately printed onto your skin. Leaving you breathless and needy. Much to both Leon's delight at seeing your panties ruined with just how unbearably soaked you were.

That's when they both lit this match that would set your body ablaze with high pitched mewls and gibberish filled whimpers when your husband finally slipped inside your wet, aching walls. Inch by inch until he bottomed out completely. Then softly bounced you on his cock, while his counterpart's fingers touched where you desperately craved him.

They'd watch like starving wolves at the point where your cunt would visibly flutter and squeeze every time the brunette would sink back in with the most satisfying squelch.

Squishing you between them more so you're certain to not miss those beautiful words and wonderful groans of his that burn you hotter.

"Look at you honey, so good for us.~"

"Always so fucking tight around me…"

You know he and himself do it on purpose. They wanna see you absolutely writhe for them.

Slow and soft at first. Then a little faster, and faster, harder.

So close.

Always so close.

A half driven delirious idea that Leon is finally going to let you fall into that blissful, messy heaven. Only for all of it to stop. And steadily start over again. They're both testing you and it's driving you mad in the best way possible.

Funny. Earlier you thought Leon's future blonde headed self would be the more gentleman-like to balance them both out, right?

Wrong.

He definitely still possesses that rough nature, not that you're complaining though to be honest. They'll both still treat you right, even in the meanest of ways.

"What's the matter, Princess?" The blonde softly cooes with a light nip to your ear, relaxing his arm just enough for you to quietly gasp. Greedily swallowing new lungfuls of air before the flex of his arm makes it shallow again. But you trust him, knowing he won't completely cut your oxygen off. Only enough to keep you perfectly suspended, high like a drug you know you couldn't live without.

He makes you never want to be sober.

"You wanna cum, don't you?" God, they have both edged you to oblivion and back to the point that your pussy immediately tightens up at just the word itself, which pulls a small hiss from your Leon considering his dick is still resting inside you. So deep you swear you could feel it in your throat. You want it to break you.

Ruin you.

They both see how much of a mess you are. There's a puddle on Leon's lap and if you were to stand up right now, your essence would be a dribbling mess down to your knees and onto the floor. Your lips let go of the most pitiful whine, desperate enough to take a chance that you lightly move your hips in a search for that sinfully amazing friction. Hoping they'll now show you mercy.

Sympathy isn't what you find however, instead it's those familiar hot blooded hands clamping down tight on your hips to cease your movements altogether. The moment you softly gasped, you knew it was a bad move. One that has you shrinking submissively before the intimidating blue flames that dance in his eyes. Feeling dark colored fringes lightly brush your cheek when he leans closer. "Didn't say you could move."

Leon's voice drops an octave, almost to a snarl with his waning patience. But he knows you love to hear it. Even if you don't admit it through words, your body betrays you when your hot, squishy walls twitch around him again. It's enough for the ghost of a smirk to tug at his lips, but that's not what he's after. "And I asked you a question…"

"Yes!" You immediately yelp, your hands already grasping at his future version's arm around your neck for dear life with another tear filled sob. "Please please please yes!"

Definitely an answer both Leon's like, but not the one he wants. One hand leaves your hips to travel up and take hold of your chin, forcing your gaze to fully lock with his. "Yes what?" The brunette hisses dangerously low against your lips.

"Yes I wanna cum, sir." Comes your breathless whisper. So so ready for that euphoric coil in your lower belly to wind up and snap, you almost didn't get all the words out. Luckily it's enough to reward you with the light scratch of stubble when he presses a hard kiss to your lips that steals what little breath you have, "Much better." Then another pair of lips sneak over to lay some love to your cheek with a smile against your ear. That wonderfully smooth tone uttering his praise. "Atta girl."

Atta girl indeed because finally…

Finally, your wish is fulfilled.

In the form of the blonde agent's hand taking yours and guiding it down to your drenched little pearl to softly press on it. The action reaches into your lungs to tear an airy moan from you at the sudden jolt to your core, that would've most definitely removed you from Leon altogether if the hands on your hips and the arm still locked around your neck wasn't there to keep you in place.

A warm sound vibrates against your back, that pretty chuckle of his. And oh his words that rumble into your ear. So sinfully sweet.

"Play with yourself for us."

"Show us what you like, Princess.~"

Given how Leon has pleasured you to the point you were nothing but putty by just his hands numerous times before, you'd think he already knows what you like. But you're quick to spot the underlying truth.

They both wanna watch you get yourself off.

Normally such a bold request like that would leave you rather timid, but you can't take another second of this game anymore. Your body is aching for a release to the point you can't help but obey. Letting a cry tear it's way out of your throat as your fingers desperately rub and caress your little pink bundle of nerves. Relieved for that spark of sweet friction tingling your senses.

Much to the delight of the two agents, watching your hand work and listening to your moans, sighs, and little whines steadily rise in volume and string together into a beautiful melody of your own making. Such wonderful sounds pairing with the most lewd gushy noise between your legs. Amazing.

It's much more than enough to pull a deep rooted groan from your Leon, "Fuck." He curses in a hoarse whisper, "Feel you getting close, Sunshine." His fingers dig deeper into the soft flesh of your hips. Forcing you to stay still so you won't ride him. Just to be a little mean, but also because the way your heat clamps down tighter around his twitching cock is a slice of heaven in itself. The moment you start bouncing, he knows he'll be done for.

Seems his future version knows it too, given his low chuckle into your skin. "That's it, Sunshine." Leon encourages between gentle open mouthed kisses up and up until his lips capture yours, while his free hand easily engulfs your breast to pinch and toy with your hardened bud before switching to give the other some attention.

You feel him smile and hum as he happily drinks up your muffled moans like it's a shot of his favorite whiskey. Until he pulls away to whisper against your kissed swollen lips.

"Let go, we'll catch you."

Oh Leon. Always so good with his words, his touches. Everything. It does the trick, almost a little too well in fact. Like a tsunami, your orgasm crashes into you hard enough to leave you squirting. But, as promised, both Leon's squish you close when your form trembles and writhes between the two with a loud moan of ecstasy filling the comfortable space of the bedroom.

But with the gaze your Leon fixes on his blonde headed self, he knew right away. You made such a pretty mess with his dick still nestled so deep inside you, he couldn't help but get a little greedy.

"W- ait! Leon Oh f-uck! T-too much! AH!" You squeal with a gasp while your dainty hands frantically grab at Leon's wrist in a weak attempt to move his fingers away when he rubs them mercilessly against your visibly pulsing clit. All you get from him, is a loving growl.

"Keep cumming, sweetheart." Lord help, what's left for him to love if he breaks you like this? Your senses are already too high and so sensitive, you don't know if you can handle anymore.

Thankfully, his movements are quick to cease as soon as he hears your sounds beginning to drift into sobs. Bringing his hands away to gently stroke your quivering thighs instead while his future self releases you from your headlock prison. Keeping you leaned back against him while he carefully kisses at your neck, further helping to ease you back down.

"There you are." A deep tone drips into your ears like honey, once you finally open your eyes. Only to release a tired, breathless giggle at the two pairs of sweet blue eyes centered on you. "Got scared I broke you for a second." Your Leon muses, gifting you a gentle apologetic kiss. "No, but… I don't know if I can go again." You sheepishly confess between quiet pants.

Two soft laughs from the same voice and a kiss to the crown of your head help put you at ease. "It's ok, baby." Leon reassures while his blonde counterpart tugs you a little closer. Letting the two wrap you up in his shared warmth filled with sweet kisses and gentle caresses that convey all you want to know.

The night is far from over.

[9w1ft]

if everything karlie posted are actually Easter Eggs for her showing up at the premiere, i truly deeply hope she shows up with taylor as her friend again. people dragged her hard for showing up at Eras with no proof she's in contact with Taylor. can't fathom the hate if she does it again. i hope they're both fucking aware of that. like fr if she shows up like she came on her own again i'd be starting to think we got this wring and and she's actually trying to get taylor's attention & taylor's just ignoring her. i'm nervous for karlie at this point. i've been willing to overlook taylor not doing much to clear karlie of these betrayal allegations but if this happens a 2nd time and don't even take a selfie i think shit might be going wrong bts. karlie does seem smart though so i pray she knows how badly it'll look for her if she goes and doesn't associate with taylor at all

hmm i dunno.. does it really look bad for her outside of twitter people that don’t know what they’re talking about?

because she keeps adding on partnerships and attending new conferences and kwk is going strong and i just don’t get the sense she took a hit.

i get the distinct impression that karlie really doesnt care about the opinions of the people who don’t understand. or to put it another way, i think what would be more important to karlie is taylor acknowledging what she does. that she understands. and that’s something we as fans cannot necessarily see.

idk if i can express this correctly but to me it’s something that happens with long term partners all the time. my interpretation of things based on songs and other stuff is that, i think there was a point in time where karlie was left wondering if taylor understood how she (and josh) were treating her (song candidates including stuff like illicit affairs, the great war, wcs, ylm) or if taylor appreciated the sacrifices to her life that she was making.

like maybe at some point in the rhythm taylor began cutting corners on communication and assuming that karlie would implicitly agree with whatever things she would set up, and so maybe she did not take as much care as she could have here and there, and maybe it was a sense of being taken for granted that hurt, or moments where taylor may have succumb to paranoia and did things without trusting her that hurt. i think those are the things that hurt, not what any rando on the internet might say.

i get the sense that karlie bottled up these feelings until they burst out, upon which taylor and karlie finally had an honest conversation about it, and they got on the same page, and taylor wrote many songs that articulated how she understands karlie (afterglow, renegade, among others).

one thing i know is karlie would not have gone to eras tour so soon after giving birth if the opinions of people on the internet hurt her. full stop. let alone so soon postpartum. i don’t care how much you hate someone you are simply not going to a coliseum full of beasts when your body is —for lack of a more polite but expressive phrase— still mushy. so i can only assume that they are in lock step about what they would do and that taylor has become probably quite careful about the way she sets things up and expresses her appreciation for karlie along the way.

[madamrynodm]

Batman (2022) Sequel thoughts/ideas/wishes

Ok I've thought about this way too much to keep it to myself. So, I cast my thoughts to the void and maybe the void will give me a gold star for my efforts

I've got 2 big hopes/what-ifs for the sequel to The Batman. Easily became one of my favorite superhero films ever, and I cannot wait to see more! Anyway

2 big hopes: Dick Grayson and the Court of Owls. I wanna see them. I wanna see them so bad. I think there's potential for a SICK story if they go that route

1. Dick Grayson. PLEASE GIVE US ROBIN I BEG OF YOU! I think BatPat is a great candidate for a Robin story. Him being fresh on his journey to understand who he is as Bruce and Batman would be great to see contrasted with a young Robin on the trail of vengeance. We could watch him struggle with the desire to help Dick get justice for his parents' deaths (something BatPat hadn't gotten), but also want to protect him from the dark pit Bruce found himself in in the last movie. I'd like for Dick to actually be a kid in this rendition, maybe a teen. Either way, let him be young. I wanna see Bruce lose his mind trying to be a parent while Alfred watches smugly

2. Court of Owls 🦉 They'd be perfect here! Now, I don't want them to be the Big Bads yet. Let's just uncover them. The death of the Graysons can lead the film, and we can discover a deeper conspiracy linked to them later on (set up a 3rd movie?). If I remember correctly, in the Court of Owls run (2011?), they orchestrated the Grayson murders to try and nab Dick. Bring him into their fold as a new assassin. The Court could also play into Bruce's continued struggles with the Wayne family legacy and the "sins of the father" theme (what with the Court manipulating the Waynes for generations)

Ok ok ok now for the meat and potatoes of my rant. Here's how I'd run the Batman sequel if I had any power or even vague experience in filmmaking:

We open the movie loud. The opposite of the first. I'm talking bright lights and loud music. It's a carnival, a public event. Something to raise money for Gotham. Bruce is there, and he hates it. But, hey, if he wants to help the city, he's gotta step up his public game. We follow him through this loud, oppressive environment to the big top. Time for the main event. Circus begins, all eyes on the center ring. Introduce the Graysons! We got Mom, Dad, and Dick all performing their hearts out. The movie gets louder, everyone loves their performance!

Then, it goes dead silent. The Graysons fall. They die in front of everyone, right there. Bruce and Dick both have front row seats to the tragedy. The circus goes nuts, but we don't hear a thing. Cut to later, Dick is alone, maybe with the police, an EMT, idk. Anyway, in a scene that mirrors the mayor's kid in the 1st movie, Bruce sees Dick suffering alone and takes him in. (I don't know if that is when a formal adoption happens or if that's saved for the end of the film)

Moving on, Bruce takes to the streets as the Bat, investigating the Grayson deaths. Something's wrong. This is shaping up to be a murder. He later investigates another murder. Pull this scene from the comics, Owl motifs, warnings, all that. Movie follows that line of tying the seemingly unrelated deaths together and finding the Court beneath it all.

Maybe give Dick a bit of Tim Drake and let him catch on that something is up with Bruce. Dick wants in, he wants to find his parents' killer. Bruce lets him, recognizing his desire for justice and thinking that it'll help this kid. Shenanigans ensue. Like I said before (I think), a central arc we could see is Bruce now watching the path of vengeance from the outside, trying to help this scared and hurt kid heal while giving him and his parents the justice they deserve. Further examination of what it means to be a hero, what it means to truly heal, etc.

We can wrap up with Dick bringing the killer to justice and finding some peace. But it ain't over yet, as Bruce realizes that there's something deeper going on. Gotham's boogeyman, the Court of Owls, is real! And they're up to something! BA BA BA!!

I think Dick should become Robin in act 1 or the start of act 2. Either way, if we are gonna get a live action Robin, I wanna see him in action! Also I wanna see people like Gordon and Martinez react to Bats just... suddenly having a child around. Let Dick make bad jokes please 🙏

Whew! That's is for me! I finally wrote this all down, maybe I can clear out some brain space now

[waywardsculs-a2]

so since they're here on a test basis right now, i'm going to put down a little headcanon post for the new muses i'm trying out with whatever can come to mind. obviously some will have more than others.

Alastor

i'm going with grey-ace for him, demiromantic. he'll need a lot of work if you want to get close to him, but i doubt that's a surprise in the slightest.

zero sexual or ( genuine ) romantic experience. he can flirt as long as he needs to in order to obtain something, but that's about it. he's charming by nature, but also absolutely unhinged.

if you do manage to get close to him in that regard you need to know he will be extremely murder - happy with anyone that tries to step in. meaning if someone tries to get in the way of the relationship? hope you didn't value your life.

hates having his tail and ears touched. unless he actually trusts you, but you still have to ask first.

whatever you do, don't try to touch him without consent first. he hates it and will not hesitate to kill you if you ignore this.

don't expect him to be gentle at first. he doesn't really know how to be that. it'll take a lot of learning because he hates being vulnerable.

Blitzo

i'm putting it out here now my default for him is in fact stolitz but i'm sure that's no surprise. i'm not really into blitz/fizz as anything other than friends/childhood crushes.

he's pan through and through and doesn't really need an emotional attachment for sex, but he definitely prefers it.

despite the shit he loves to give moxxie and millie he'd never actually try anything with them. ( he's just jealous )

most of his emotion will show in his tail - his true emotions that is. he still can't control himself very well.

why yes i am keeping him emotionally stunted because we all know that he is and quite frankly i understand how he feels way too well.

sure you can date him, but he won't ever tell you he loves you because he's afraid of being hurt again .

please don't touch his horns unless he gives you permission. he can and will shoot you point blank in the gut for it.

Carmilla

demi through and through. she really doesn't even think about anything regarding her own relationships, since she's more worried about her daughters and her work.

probably one of the most sleep deprived honestly. she's always got so much going on it's ridiculous.

yes, she wears those angelic steel pointe shoes everywhere when she leaves her home.

zestial and rosie are the only two that have seen her in her more relaxed state, especially the former.

she can and will adopt any she feels are truly in need of a place to call home, but also show great potential in other areas.

i hc her as a fallen angel - this is something she keeps as a secret from almost everyone.

Niffty

i'd probably put her as straight tbh?? girl and her obsession with bad boys smh...

but idk if she'll really do much, she's got her work cut out for her at the hotel after all

you can take the dagger from the girl, but you can't take every weapon from her at all times no matter what you do

Stolas

i'll only ever write him as separated from stella, and default to the octavia he refers to as my own just for simplicity.

he is pan, and honestly? on the verge of being effectively gender blind - meaning that unless your muse is very obviously displaying as a specific gender he'll default to using more neutral terms in hopes of keeping from offending anyone.

absolute hopeless romantic. nothing and no one will ever be able to change that.

yes, he is on antidepressants.

his relationship with octavia is probably one of the most precious things in his life and he'd do anything to keep her safe and help make her happy. he knows he isn't the best dad, but he's doing what he can to improve for her sake.

i am absolutely open to exploring ships with him that don't involve blitzo. just come talk to me about it.

if you're interested in shipping with any of them, only do so with the knowledge in mind that i may not be keeping any of these muses. there's no guarantee unless i really manage to find i have a strong muse for them in the end.

[eriexplosion]

Idk how to copy paste emoji on phone very well but Happy, Angsty, Shippy and Family for Echo Badbatch and Athelstan Vikings bc I am, nothing if not Predictable. Also Crosshair bc ilu 💜

*Rubs my gay little hands together* Hope you're ready to read because I am not joking when I say all this came out to over 1500 words.

Echo first, our beloved sad bby.

🟡 - Happy

99 Always watched over their batch from the very beginning and probably the first real memory they have of an ori'vod paying specific attention to them was 99 stopping what he was doing to check on them after a hard training session. It was right after they got their name, when they still very much did not appreciate it, and the best way they could think of to protest was to go to the opposite end and just completely clam up. Can't be an Echo if you just don't talk. 99 aas the one to check on them all crammed up in a tiny corner and he coaxed them out and got them talking again - when he talked, he made it seem okay to be an Echo, and that was a first step to embracing the name their batch gave them, even if it still took some time to completely accept it.

...This came out more bittersweet than fully happy but. I TRIED.

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

Rex had to be the one to bring Fives up to them after they were rescued. Not because they weren't thinking about him, they were, ever since they came out of the fridge and saw that he wasn't there to greet them. But they knew Fives wouldn't have EVER passed up the chance to save them, so... if he isn't here, they already know why. It'll be painful to find out how he died, they know he's dead, and they're already in so much pain as it is both emotionally and physically that they've been terrified to bring it up. Rex knows what they're doing, so he lets it go for a little while but he can't let them leave with the batch without having this conversation, which is just as painful as they both expected it to be.

🟣 - Romantic/Sexual/Shippy

Echo is SO so shy when it comes to romance, especially coming into the Batch. They're the New person and very much coming in on a highly established team with longstanding relationships between them, and they didn't come in with expectations of ever being anything but the outsider. They are in fact SO resigned to always being the outsider that they do not notice they're being flirted with for several weeks. Tech is the first one to give up on subtlety and just ask them if they're interested in being more than Squadmates.

👪 - Family

Echo, as a reg, has the best relationship with the vode in general. Where the batch is super reluctant to intermingle due to the general tensions that have managed to root in between them and the regs, to Echo they're still very much important Family. And so they take it super personally when things keep erupting into food fight violence. They really thought they'd have more time to try to work on getting everyone to get along.

Unfortunately, instead, Order 66 happened. And now not even their batch family is together anymore. This is just going to make them more desperate though to make everyone get along as they meet up with more vode, though, because goddamnit there are not enough clones left to be fighting like this.

Crosshair next to keep the Batch babes together:

🟡 - Happy

He's actually in a good mood much more often than most people would assume, he just doesn't show it in ways that anyone outside of his batch would notice. Happy Crosshair tends to sit closer to people, sometimes lean his whole weight on them, it's like having a cat really. People that aren't used to it tend to think he's trying to aggressively get in their space to prove a point, which is what Echo thought at first when he started planting himself directly in their way all the time until they actually got to know him more.

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

Do I dare do the Lula headcanon? Do I? I think I do.

Lula wasn't always just the name of a stuffed toy. Once, a few regs got their hands on a tooka that they brought back to Kamino for the cadets to take a look at, since the kids don't get off planet except for the occasional starship tour bringing back small animals is always a huge hit for the children.

Wrecker managed to get his hands on the little tooka and brought it back to their room, named her Lula, and absolutely adored the little creature just as much as he loves his Lula now. It's adorable. But this is a Crosshair headcanon, so where does he come in?

Well, the kaminoans didn't think much of the distraction of a pet, but they let Wrecker keep it for a short while because they saw potential for a test. She turns up missing Wrecker is losing his entire mind, and in the middle of it all Crosshair gets called in for a solo test. There's just one target, and the real test isn't if he can hit her it's if he'll do what he's told even though it will destroy Wrecker. He does, but not because of any real will to follow orders, he just knows it will be worse for them if he doesn't. He makes the replacement Lula to try to make up for it - it's not the same, but it's all he can do. (If this sounds similar to my Twelve Seconds fic it's because I imagine they did this to him multiple times with increasingly brutal targets to make sure he actually would shoot anything he was directed to before putting the batch out in the field.)

🟣 - Romantic/Sexual/Shippy

He probably gets the most hookups outside of the batch and literally no one knows HOW he manages this, because it's not his pleasant demeanor. Hitting on people usually takes the form of antagonizing them and seeing if they smack him or make out with him first and somehow people keep taking the second one.

He also tends to mood drop after them, but still won't recognize that this probably means there's something he's not getting out of it (like actual companionship) and so he comes back upset half the time to lay down with one of them and Radiate Sadness. Usually Wrecker, because he has the most Comforting presence and they've been together the longest by FAR.

👪 - Family

It is pretty much his only priority at all actually. There is a reason he takes it SO hard when he thinks they've abandoned him and it's because he has genuinely not at any point bothered to find anything else to live for. (And the reason he's still going at this point is that he does hope that they'll push back against his attitude and just make him come home so he can save face by not having been the one to give in first.)

Also the softest part of his brain really envies the life Cut and his family have, far away from fighting, but he tries not to listen to that part of himself because he's 1000% sure that kind of life is not for them.

And SOFT BOY ATHELSTAN:

🟡 - Happy

Athelstan keeps all of his journals as they fill up, so that he can look back on them and reflect. This means that he ends up with dozens of these, and he can open any of them to a random page and easily guess when he did it just by what he finds there. Even if it's just a sketch, how he draws the world and people around him changes as he shifts from being afraid to truly feeling like he belongs.

This means he can go back and usually pinpoint right around where he started to fall in love with someone, because he can see it in how his art of them changes.

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

Even years down the line he still has nightmares about his dead brothers. He's tried to move on from it and make peace and in many ways he has, but the nightmares haven't gone anywhere. Sometimes he thinks he's forgotten his brothers faces but then the bad dreams make it very much apparent that he hasn't.

These are also the only dreams that Ragnar can't help much with, which drives him insane because Ragnar HATES to think there's anything he can't fix. But this is one of them.

🟣 - Romantic/Sexual/Shippy

His favorite way to wake up is kisses, so he gets them every morning now from SOMEONE. Usually Ragnar or Floki will get him up this way but if they're not available metamours will do it (Helga especially loves to give him an adorable kiss to the cheek and make him make a SQUEAK of surprise.)

Of course being in a partner's arms just makes it better, please hold him while he wakes up. (This also helps when he's been having bad dreams, which he has OFTEN. As long as they're not the above mentioned brother nightmares that is.)

👪 - Family

So obviously my headcanons and fic go off the rails sometime around season three but I adore Alfred too much to let him go just because of something as small as 'Athelstan isn't fucking Judith in this version' so therefore. Athelstan has baby Alfred with someone else, in this verse Helga. They're not Together as a couple, but they're close and Helga is happy to parent a child with him, once a polycule becomes Complex enough it's all just coparenting anyway.

Also they're precious together so sue me. He loves her, and whether it's romantic or not really doesn't matter to him, she's just important to him.

[izzy-b-hands]

S W shop talk and random abt the day stuff below. no details abt the actual vid just filming talk and me whinging abt my joints lmao, but scroll by if this aint ur thing

i just finished an hour and a half of straight filming for the u kno what blog lmao

it'll be my longest one yet, and idk exactly how to go abt it yet (cut it up in davinci and post clips with the offer for the full vid if they m$g me? post the whole thing and comment that it's an example of a vaguely niche ish thing that I'd be happy to do customs for and hope someone wants to set one up????)

but im proud of myself. yesterday into today has been nicely productive counting everything including this, and while this last thing maybe isn't a traditional accomplishment to be proud of, this is a bigger step for me in that direction. My audience is small but bigger than i thought it would ever get and like.

the money is v little. but maybe if i keep trying to improve it will become more, and in the meantime im quite satisfied with the latest few comments from ppl aksndjfnf

that said tho GOD im old and things aren't working well if ever they did and like. my knees ache. we walked the beach earlier yesterday and between that and the Posing for this bit of work, I've aggravated my right knee and ankle especially, and am standing typing this waiting for the radiating pain to stop so i can walk on that leg and take a fucking shower lmao

Worth it tho, for all of it

[dietcokevape]

i want instant gratification so badly. but there is no real point in self-hatred. being uncomfortable in my body is drive enough- i am doing something at least. doing the hard things, having discipline, one day it WILL pay off.

you have to do hard things every day, to make the most out of what you are GIVEN every day which is life, when we wake up and open our eyes. a brand new opportunity to push ourselves into that transformative discomfort every day. we get one shot.

yes, the idea of time taking forever to pass and results to be had is a hard pill to swallow but what else are you gonna do? make yourself miserable? do what you have to do, no matter how badly you want to give up, and move the fuck on with the day. trust yourself a little more and show up every day for yourself.

anyways! update

a few events this week have made the 72hr rolling f@st impossible. thats ok. i'm f@sting today, planning OMAD breakfast about 500kcal tomorrow morning, f@sting thursday, OMAD breakfast about the same 500kcal on friday. then, starting from friday afternoon, at least 72hours but i am hoping to push till the the 24th. it'll be a rf day with easy proteins and broth, followed by total havoc the following day. after this, i want to try a week f@st... maybe. metab days will be hell tbh. i'll have to reevaluate later if the 72s are still working or if i need to switch it up

every day will be 30mins-1hr pilates and walking at least 5k steps.

idk what the plan after this is really, once i've reached within 10lbs of my gw, and i've proven to myself i can be in the gym 5 days a week, i'll have to take protein goals more seriously and eat close to a normal amount

in the meantime, the little joys must be enough. allowing for feelings of accomplishment and shunning away feelings of defeat. testing free will, seeing the sunlight, reading a book, so on. it won't be a party full of energy all the time, so what, keep it going, do what benefits you and the ones you love, ask what else you can improve and take it seriously. the goals may be far enough away to tempt me into procrastinating and giving up, this is a test. and like all of the best things in life, gods little tests are to show you how capable you really are.

[nathank77]

8/5/24

4:13 p.m

So this is what remains of the mouse box that was once the mouse draw. I used alcohol swabs with my bare hands and repeated the whole time while I cleaned them, "they aren't contaminated and haven't been for a long time," over and over again.

I still feel uncomfortable using them but they are all brand new.... I don't have room for them in my medicine drawers. I have two of them..

I also cleaned the wallet it's in my professional paper draw lol a huge step for sure.

The clear bin is in the attic, so my room is a complete room now. I grabbed a few storage bins and put all my shreddable papers in them. I only have one more BIG box of shreddable papers I have to pour into a couple to a few storage bins....

I have a lock box that doesn't lock so I'm going to put that in a storage bin. And then I have the Needless Electronics that are in a storage bin without a top so I need one for those. Then the attic is done... minus the trash on the floor but that can wait until winter.... and of course the heavy things skye won't help me with but I'm unassigning myself the duty of that tbh.

Besides for that the attic is complete once I get the last box of Shreddables in a bin. The electronics in another and the lock box in another everything will be in storage bins. I have a lot of storage bins to be honest. I'd need a huge storage unit. And I'm not even hoarding. Although I wish someone could help me go through the stuff I chose to keep. Some of it was easier to keep than throw away. I got like 16-20 storage bins now stacked neatly.

Once I do the last few things it'll be max like 23......

Getting the mouse stuff done cleared the computer chair and now my sister and her gf are planning to take it to the attic for me. I hope they don't damage it. I really wanted it to stay in my room but there is truly no room for it. It sucks cause if I have a friend over they have to sit in my bed or we got to hang out elsewhere which is probably what we will do like the living room but then they got to be around my mom..... but a gf if I ever get one would be in my room and welcomed to my bed....

Anyways idk if I'll ever use the deodorant but it was a big step and I'm getting closer to having all my stuff packed away and organized and I'm glad I decided to do stuff today despite wanting to game.

All this stuff is brand new this mouse really stole a lot of money from me when he made a nest in that draw. I want to use the axe kilo but it has a aluminum which can stain shirts but I love the scent kilo...... it doesnt exist anymore....I'm also worried that the mouse peed and it got into the deodorant... but I'm trying.

[thaleleah]

awee girl i'm so glad your mama raised you well and you're best friends with her! that makes my heart so happy 🩷 unfortunately a lot of moms side with their stepdad. idk if it's the out of validation they get from them or desperation (cause that's like my aunt). i'm sorry your step-shit has caused you to have trust issues with partners 😭 i promise you tho, it'll work out for you in the end 🩷

yep he fucked the maid too 😂 i'm 99% sure my dad is a sex addict or something, cause this is not normal behavior, to not be able to keep your dick in your pants and be faithful is a sickness!

speaking of my dad... my step mom and i had a big physical fight this weekend... so i bought this really expensive peanut butter from like a local store in a beach town, that's very organic and fresh, which is why it's more on the pricey side! so i got one for my dad as well cause he loves anything peanut butter. i visited him the other day and saw stepmonster eating it, which is fine, but she has been eating these bars for weight loss, and i just gave her a heads up "hey, that peanut butter is really high in oil, since you're eating those bars, mixing them together, it's going to make you gain weight again, just wanted to let you know, since you're trying to lose weight" - i was literally trying to help the bitch because she has been really trying to lose weight now and finally found a solution with those bars. you know what she did? she said "you know? life is much easier when you don't visit" - and tbh i lost it and threw the peanut butter at her 😂 (she has been throwing digs like this at me for 2 years now and i've never said anything so i broke this time) so she jumped from the couch and took off her slipper and started hitting me with it and calling me "worthless trash" - i fought back pulling her hair, trying to get the bitch off me. my dad thankfully pulled her off me and BITCHED her tf out and that she has no right ever lay a hand on his daughter, i was so happy that night because this man finally took my side 😂

tal you are too real with the threesome dream 😭 i actually had a dream last night of coryo and jack champion (not sure if you know him, he's from avatar and scream) anyway, he was as his character in scream, i have a crush on him too hehe! anyway, they were both chasing me in this very large, very abandoned, but luxurious looking mall. their both psychos so it was obviously really hot, but unfortunately... there was no smut, i wish there was 😭 good dreams like this always end up with zero sex or any physical touch even 😂 boooo 😭

after my stepmonster getting major shit from my dad i feel amazinggg!! awee tal 🩷 i'm sorry you're going through writers block. dw it'll pass soon, but i'll tell you something... when inspiration hits... it really hits with a BANG! i'm glad you're still writing a little at least. take it step by step, and don't be too hard on yourself, you'll get back up again, i promise 🩷

- 🍯🐝

Hi, babes!

It definitely is like that. She was struggling as a single mother and he made himself out to be her rock and I'm confident that if she wasn't desperate and he wasn't "conveniently" helpful that she could have seen through his bullshit long before she got too attached. At least I would hope so cause that man is not subtle with his red flags. But I hope you're right and it does work out cause this girl is lonelyyyyyy 😭

Honestly, he might be! Either way though, someone needs to take his dick away from him cause he's using it wayyyyyy too much. He doesn't need it anymore lol

Fuck your stepmom 🙄 You didn't even say anything wrong and even if maybe she didn't like your tone or how you said it, she had no right to say that shit to you. I would have lost my damn mind on her too. And to start hitting you with her slipper? Bitch, bye. NO. And it's about damn time your dad did something for you that wasn't making your life hell. I still don't like him though lol

Funny you should mention Avatar cause I actually write for that fandom too LMAOOO and yes! I loved him in Scream. He plays a great psychopath. And Ghostface is hot as fuck in general too lol. That sounds like an AMAZING dream though! I have a huge predator/prey kink and I want to be chased/hunted sooooo bad, especially by Coryo (and Jack Champion as Ghostface would be a bonus too lolll)

I'm glad you're feeling good, hun! Take that victory cause the bitch deserves the bitching that your dad gave her! I had a pretty decent writing day yesterday which was good. It wasn't a lot but it didn't feel forced so I'm pretty happy. I'm hopeful I can get more done today too! 🥰