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hyunjinners · 10 months

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✧:･ﾟFear of The Unknown → Kim Seungmin x reader ˚₊· ꒰ 🌊 ꒱

꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊Her relationship with Seungmin is perfectly healthy, but the insecurities on both sides prevent them from being clear with each other.

꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱┊idol!Seungmin x fem¡reader

꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊a little sad, cute, established relationship, happy ending.

꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊possible trigger, fights, light swearing (nothing serious), lack of communication, relationship crisis, fear.

꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊6,7k

꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊I had a dream about Seungmin and I wanted to create a story based on that. I just read an imagine with Seungmin being a complete asshole and I was completely disgusted (the worst thing is that the chapter was really good, love the person who wrote it), so I had to do one of him being a complete baby that he always was (even if at some point in the chapter he hurt her, but I'm just saying- 😅😉)

English is not my first language! I hope you enjoy and have a good read - feedback is appreciated. 🩵🌨️

⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗘 reflects off her face, waking her up to the start of another week. You toss and turn lazily in her place on the bed, making the sheets beneath you move, becoming increasingly messy. The ease with which his body messed them up made him realize the lack of extra weight on the bed beside him. Your fingers delicately trace the now empty space beside you.

You exhale a tired sigh, opening your eyes in a sudden awakening when you realize that your boyfriend was no longer there. His hands run awkwardly through his hair with the intention of making him at least presentable before getting up. You walk still a little drowsy down the hallway, rubbing your eyes with your vision a little blurry.

As if on the right timer, you arrive just as Seungmin was getting ready to put on his sneakers and head out. As soon as he sees you he stops on his way to the apartment entrance, smiling a wide and warm smile that was reserved especially for you. He raises his arms, enveloping her in a warm hug. You rub your head affectionately against his chest, like a lost kitten. He laughs at the thought. "What are you doing up at this time?" "I just wanted to see you leave, it'll be a long time before you return at night." You speak in a low tone that's a little slurred from sleep. He smiles as his fingers rest in his messy hair, you were basically sleeping standing up. "I'll be back tonight, don't worry. When you blink, I'll be back." He assures you. "I had left a note for you on the kitchen island," he pulls you away a little to look into your eyes. "Yo-rin invited us to go out with friends tonight. What do you think?"

"I think it's more like a 'date between couples', I'm sure she's with Jun-ho. But yes. I liked the idea." He smiles, straightening a rebellious lock that fell over his forehead. "Great, I'll be there in time to take us by car, okay?" "Okay" you lean up on your toes, placing an innocent kiss on his lips, wanting to see him as soon as possible. “I love you,” you say. He connects their lips again before walking away with a smile. "Put on some comfortable clothes, I know you'll look beautiful no matter what" he puts on his sneakers before leaving.

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You fix the last details of your hair before hearing the sound of the front door closing. You hurriedly grab your bag from the bed before walking towards the living room. You look for Seungmin, finding him drinking water in the kitchen. You lean against the doorframe waiting for him to notice his presence. When done, he looked you up and down with shining eyes. You were wearing a simple black corset over a white blouse and wide leg pants, simple but perfectly beautiful for him.

He approached, pulling her hand up and spinning her around. You let out a hearty laugh during your little turn, feeling embarrassed even though she is used to hearing compliments from him daily. "Perfect. How did I get so lucky?" He rambles, talking more to himself than anything else. His hands rest lightly on your waist. Seungmin affectionately rubs your nose with yours, kissing your cheek and then your lips, giving you a short peck. "Let's go. If we're late they'll be making jokes all night." He rolls his eyes remembering the last time he was late because he was distracted by his girlfriend.

Arriving at the restaurant, you go to a more private room to which you were directed by your friends. Yo-rin and Jun-ho were sitting laughing about something they shared on their cell phones, not before they stand up to greet you properly. "Y/n, long time! How are you?" Yo-rin hugs you warmly with a wide smile on her face, being extroverted as always. "It's really been a while since we saw each other, I missed you." You return the hug, settling into your rightful place next to Seungmin. "I think Seungmin thinks we're going to steal her from him." Jun-ho comments, earning a playful eye roll from Seungmin. "Okay, we didn't come to eat?" Seungmin interrupts the teasing with a fake tone of disdain. "Come on." You laugh.

The night passed comfortably between you. You and Seungmin exchanged knowing looks during the meal as you watched Jun-ho and Yo-rin put food on each other's plates. They just looked at you confused when they heard your laughter. When leaving the restaurant, you walked to the karaoke, passing through a nearby square, lights and live music filling the atmosphere and making everything more cozy along the way. After almost an hour of singing traditional Korean karaoke songs, you sat next to Yo-rin on the couch, only hearing Jun-ho and Seungmin's slurred singing because of the amount of Soju they drank together. You let out a hearty laugh when Jun-ho fell on top of Seungmin, crying - probably due to the song's melancholy lyrics about lost love.

As soon as the song ends, they sit next to the two of you, sighing breathlessly for the last song they sang so eagerly. "What do you think about another round?" Jun-ho drawls, resting his arms on Yo-rin's shoulders, who just gave him an amused look. "What's up, guys? One more song, one more Soju." He reaches for the bottle on the table, but is reprimanded by Yo-rin who holds his arm. "That's enough for today. I think we should go, you're drunk as a skunk." She stands up next to him, resting the weight of his body on her. "We're on our way, you can enjoy it alone, lovebirds." Yo-rin gives them a wink.

"Not alright. We're going. Come, I'll help you." Seungmin stands up, taking Jun-ho from her arms. "He is sure? You weren't alone all night. It's still 9pm, you can stay a little longer without us." She asks with a confused face towards the two of you. You shake your head with a simple smile. "It is good too, Minnie has to work tomorrow and I think you're going to need help with Jun-ho, you know, he's heavy." You laugh, joining his arm with hers to leave the room right behind the boys. "All is well then."

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A week has passed since the day you left with Seungmin's friends. It was a busy week, not only for you, but also for your boyfriend. You were busy with mountains of essays one after another for your college, and he, who trained too much, barely having time to rest and most days having stayed in the dorm with the boys.

You sigh tiredly, closing your laptop after finishing another tiring study session. You get up and go to the kitchen with the intention of heating up your lunch with the leftovers from the previous day’s dinner. remembering the morning message left on post-its that Seungmin left asking you to eat well because your health is very important. You smile at the thought.

Before even uncovering the pots that held the food, his cell phone that was on top of the island vibrates showing Yo-rin's photo on the screen, you quickly pick it up to answer the call. "Hi, Yo-rin! What a nice surprise." "Hi, how are you? You know, I have an appointment near your building and I thought I would invite you to have lunch together at a nearby restaurant. We can go to the mall too. Would you be free?" You smile excited at the idea of good timing. "Of course! To be honest, I was about to prepare my lunch, So you came at a good time." "Great, I'll give you the address, meet me in 30 minutes." "Okay."

The thirty minutes were enough for you to get ready in a casual and comfortable way, wearing moss green shorts with a short white blouse to stand out with sneakers of the same color. You call a taxi in front of your building, following a route of less than 5 minutes according to the address sent. You arrive in front of tteokbokki's small restaurant, finding Yo-rin at the tables in the back. She waves at you, indicating to sit across from her.

"I'm glad it arrived on time, I just ordered it. The ttobokki here is the best! I promise you won't regret it." She says happily, placing her cell phone on the table that was in her hands until then. "I thank you for the invitation, I needed a break from studying. My teacher went crazy this week." "I found out, Seungmin told me. That's why I called you, spending the whole week working on your mind must be a pain, you have to rest for everything." A sudden doubt appears in your head when she finished explaining. "Does he know we're here?" "Let's just say...it's a girls' secret." She raises her finger towards her own mouth, as if asking for secrecy, you laugh at the funny face she made. "Okay, let's just be the two of us for today" you join in on her joke.

After eating the famous tteokbokki - which she wasn't lying when she said it was the best - you split the bill, at her insistence, leaving to walk some more. You kept the plan of going to the mall, passing through several stores trying on some things or buying others. She lets out a sudden happy squeal pulling you towards a store with a new makeup line that she mentioned seeing on 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 on tiktok. She fiddles with some products before suddenly pausing, speaking without looking you in the eye, "You know, I didn't want to say anything, because I thought it would be a little uncomfortable for you, but it's been rattling around in my head since the day we left last week." She says hurriedly, barely having time to breathe. "What do you mean? What happened?" You ask worriedly, resting your hand on her shoulder. She looks into his eyes with concern shining in them, starting to slowly wander around the store then looking at some products in distraction.

"It's just...how's your relationship with Seung going?" "So far, so good. I- I still don't understand, Yo-rin." You speak slowly, imagining that she is organizing her thoughts so she knows how to speak carefully. "You know, the day we left I noticed something strange. I had been talking to Seungmin for weeks about the idea I had of us all going out together and only after a lot of insistence did he give in and talk to you." She sighed, thinking about what she would say next. "And...during dinner or when we were at karaoke, he treated you like one of his friends, it didn't even seem like you were dating and, When I suggested the idea of you being alone, because I imagined it would be uncomfortable for him to act like that in front of us, he didn't even hesitate before denying it." You remained silent, trying to understand her line of reasoning.

"I understand your concern, Yo-rin, but I think you got it wrong," you try to smile, but it was flawed, only a ghost of a smile appeared on your face. "Minnie isn't exactly the biggest fan of PDA and I respect that about him, nothing more." His attempt to convince her seems to be of no use, since she just looks at you like you're not listening to her. "It's not just that, it's just…" she lowers her voice, now looking away from her feet, "In his past relationships, this wasn't a problem. He's never been this distant with anyone before. Besides, he barely lets you go out with his friends. At first I was understanding, since he had just gotten out of a difficult relationship, I thought he didn't want to rush things. But now it's weird. You've been together for almost two years and it seems like he wants to hide you from us." Her reaction about her is silent, making you reflect.

"I don't want to put the wrong ideas in his head, but you see, he's been busy working this week. Did he call you in the meantime? He usually does this when he misses you or is worried." A lump forms in your throat and your mouth goes dry, making you swallow your saliva with difficulty. "He- he leaves notes in the morning and sometimes sends messages at night…” you respond in a low voice, your chest was starting to hurt from how tight it was. His thoughts were racing. "You see? It worries me! I try to talk to him, but he just ignores me when I bring it up." She looks at you, waiting for an answer, but only receives silence in return. "Okay, I think- I think we better go, okay?" She puts her hand over your left shoulder, guiding you out of the store. "I think so." You practically whisper, your voice disappearing into your throat.

His plan was to spend the rest of the day peacefully, but that didn't happen. You knew Yo-rin would never say anything to affect you - not on purpose, of course - but his words were eating away at your mind and insecurity grows in your chest. Her mentioning Seungmin's previous relationship really bothered you. He had mentioned it to you once, explaining it in a shallow way and, after that conversation, you wonder if the reason he didn't tell you in detail is because he doesn't trust you. You blindly trusted Seungmin without hesitation, but the burning you felt in your eyes and the sweat that formed on your hands were clear signs that you were very insecure, and again her thoughts took her like monsters, making her reflect and question details of her relationship so far.

You try to finish some work you intended to do before the due date, but all you can see and feel is that something is now wrong. You don't want to think, but it can't help but cross your mind that it's somehow your fault.

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The wonderful smell of banana pie enters your nostrils making you feel hungrier. You bow slightly in thanks to the cashier before walking out the door of the small bakery with two cups of coffee and pieces of Seungmin's favorite pie. It had been two days since the day you met Yo-rin. You didn't mention your date with Seungmin, not that you were hiding anything, I was just afraid you'd upset him by telling him something so irrelevant while he was away working. Your nerves hadn't calmed down at all since that day, but you were trying to distract yourself, thinking it better not to make hasty decisions.

You wanted to prove to yourself that everything was okay so, for that, you decided to surprise Seungmin by visiting him at JYP. Maybe it was hasty, but you knew he would be happy. You try to hide the excited smile that insisted on appearing on your face. Arriving at the entrance of the company, you pull out your cell phone, dialing his number. Some rings resounded signaling that it was calling. The call dropped. You called once again and were getting a little worried for fear that he wasn't at the company or that something had happened. After several taps, finally you hear his low and slightly slurred voice, he was probably tired. "Hey. Did something happen?" He speaks quickly. Your breath catches in your throat and your mind insists that maybe it wasn't a good idea, he looked anxious and tired. "H-hi, no- nothing happened. Just...I thought I'd stop by the company to give you a coffee and some cakes, I was wondering if you'd already eaten anything." His voice disappeared from his throat. You were afraid to tell people you were at the company, afraid of what might happen.

"It's okay, there's no need. I ate well, I promise. Look, I- I have a lot to do, so…” he sighs, you got the signal. A strange cold hits your belly and your eyes water. You didn't know exactly why you wanted to cry, but you felt like you were excluded. "Not alright. Sorry to call unannounced." You hoped he didn't notice his weak voice. "Okay, don't worry. Tomorrow I will be home early." He hangs up and you feel like your head is spinning. You keep your cell phone in your pocket, now with a cold coffee in his hands and a tight heart almost coming out of his mouth. You can't cry, not here, not now. Are you strong… 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

The next day you were discouraged, maybe this was your new routine this week; waking up and realizing that deep down you are afraid that your previously so perfect relationship might just be a sham, that you were a hobby. You had nothing to do, it was a boring day. The weather was rainy and the cold wind blew against her skin through the open window. It felt like the universe was actually conspiring against you, even the weather was really hazy, matching your thoughts. On days like this there was only one thing you could do.

You unlock the bike that you hadn't used in a long time, you had to clean your hands of the dust that spread along the chain that held it. Riding it, you pedaled quickly, feeling a small sting in your nose from the cold wind. Securing it to the small bike rack, you entered the place with bad lighting, where only the red, white and blue tones of the machines make you have minimal vision. The arcade was definitely the strangest place to calm down, but for you it was nostalgic and relaxing. Sometimes you felt like a child who went out to play when there was a fight at home. By placing the tokens inside the claw machine, you let yourself go for hours, changing the toys and carrying lots of gifts home.

You close the door behind you with your foot, your arms filled with bags loaded with various teddy bears and other small toys. You leave your bags on the living room floor, desperately wanting a shower. Opening the bedroom door, you hear the sound of the shower turning off and a voice shouting from inside the bathroom, "darling?" You stopped in the same place. You wanted to walk around leaving the room and pretend it was just the wind, but at the same time you wanted to hug him and say you missed him. Because you felt it, a lot. "Hi, Minnie. I'm here." Seconds later you hear the sound of the shower turning on again. You wondered if he really cared that you were there, but you wouldn't torture yourself like that. Lying down, it feels like the effort you put into riding your bike has come to a head, your eyelids becoming heavier and your vision darkening.

Your eyes slowly open at the delicate rocking of your shoulder, caused by a pair of large, light hands, touching you as if any sudden action would break you. A little more attentive to your surroundings, you see Seungmin crouching in front of you with his hand caressing your shoulder. "Love, get up, please." You stood up lazily, running a hand over your face. "What time is it?" "About 6:00 pm, probably." He replied in a low tone, not wanting to alarm you. "I'm sorry for waking you up, but I need to talk to you." Seungmin sat next to him, looking into his eyes with concern and affection. "...I don't- look, I wanted to apologize to you for what happened yesterday. I know we didn't talk properly this week because of me, and I felt bad for hanging up the call so quickly. I want to redeem myself." He speaks slowly, paying attention to see if you understood everything he said.

You sigh, not knowing whether from relief or exhaustion. Your eyes fill with water and you want to disappear from his face because you look so fragile. You bite your bottom lip, looking down at your hands that were resting in your lap. You feel his strong arms wrap around you in a hug that is a little awkward, but still comforting. You reciprocate, giving in to his affection. You inhale the smell of the moisturizer he usually applies after a shower, feeling small for realizing that you needed to be in his arms. He extends his hand over your hair, stroking it delicately, with so much love and care that it made your bones ache to think about what it would be like to no longer be able to feel his love. He whispers softly to you, "I plan to show you something. I'll give you some time to shower and get dressed, I'll be waiting in the living room." You pull away, looking at him confused. "Where are we going?" He smiles, his eyes shining with admiration. He runs his fingers over your cheek, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead. "For a good surprise."

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You watch in the distance as small yellow lights shine through the branches. You were still in the city, but in a somewhat reserved place, close to a small piece of sea. Turning off the engine, he walks around as he gets out of the car and opens the door for you, his gentlemanly gestures never dying, eliciting a sincere smile from you for the gesture. He goes ahead, guiding her to a small restaurant that is located on the water's edge. It was beautiful, the lights scattered around the room where the tables were located made everything seem comforting. The place seemed to be a kind of 'acquaintances only environment', as Seungmin nods knowingly to the lady inside the store.

He points to a table asking you to wait for him. When he returns, he sits across from you, starting a conversation by asking how his day was. You try to avoid saying that the reason for your bad mood was technically attributed to him, just saying that you went out to distract your mind. He tells you how his week was and how this part of training is being pushed before the stray kids comeback and you sag a little in your chair, feeling like he was getting in his way that time, like an added weight to the whole problem he was going through. You didn't want to make it too obvious, so you just smiled and motivated him by saying how good he is at what he does. After eating the delicious food, he walked with you to a bridge not too far away, where he had an incredible view of the biggest buildings in Seoul.

You walked side by side and at some point you linked your pinkies, not wanting him to be uncomfortable with closer contact. He looked at his hands with a frightened expression, as if this was new to him. His stomach dropped and his smile fell a little, but he couldn't show it. He pointed to a specific place on the bridge where he wanted to observe the view, walking a little faster, letting go of your hands. You swallowed hard, this was no time to think about that.

You joined his side, resting both hands on the bar in front of you. Seungmin looked mesmerized by the lights that decorated the city at night, matching the stars. You watched him absorbed in thoughts about him, about how incredibly cute he looked in this dark brown trench coat that highlighted his eye color and made him look like the main love interest in a drama, or how his fluffy hair made him incredibly attractive. You loved him, and you wanted him to know that. The words instantly spring to his tongue, as a desperate prayer for the support of your relationship, "...I love you." You whisper, breaking the silence that had been established until then, just the cold wind blowing over you. He stops for a few seconds, looking into your eyes and giving you a light smile. He holds your hands in his, with a lost look pondering on his face. Her breathing hitched suddenly, her chest hurt.

You remove your hands from his, he then looks at you confused, not understanding the reason for the gesture. “Do you love me, Seung?” His voice sounds broken, wavering with every word spoken. Seungmin's eyes widened, doubt and worry shining in his eyes. "Of course darling." "... so why don't you say it?" Silence. A bitter silence that you didn't want to experience, wasn't what you wanted. A lone tear fell down your cheek, exhaustion overflowing from the latest past events. "Where did that come from? What's going on?" You laugh humorlessly, wiping the tear uselessly as more insisted on constantly descending. "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨? Everything is happening, Seungmin!" You suddenly burst out, not raising your tone because they were in a public environment, even though it was almost empty.

"Why- why don't you ever say you love me? I express my love for you and the only thing I get in return is silence." He looks at you scared, but without saying a word. He reaches out to touch your arm, but you painfully take a step back. He lowers his hand slowly, sighing. "It's not that-" "so what happened?" You interrupt him. He falls silent, swallowing nervously. He ponders his answer for a while, looking down. "... It is complicated." You clenched your fists in disbelief, not in anger, but in disappointment. "Yo-rin was right… I can't believe it." You mumble, wiping away your tears as you turn your back to him.

He raises his head, confused by the mention of his childhood best friend's name. Before you could take another step, he stops in front of her, looking straight at you. "What does she have to do with it?" Now it was your turn to ponder, sighing as you look at the water, avoiding staring at him at all costs. "We hung out a few days ago and talked about our relationship. She told me she was worried that you were being cold to me, avoiding showing people that I'm your girlfriend. At first, I didn't want to believe it, but she was right about some things," you stare back at him, where he listened to you with a mix of feelings; fear, worry, sadness, anger. Everything was apparent in his physical and bodily expression and you wanted this discussion to end, but everything needed to be clarified, "she said that you were never so cold towards someone, that you were different in your other relationship. That hurt so much, Seungmin. It makes me wonder if the problem was with me," your voice broke and you felt afraid that you wouldn't be able to speak.

"I've never had problems with insecurities in our relationship but it's hard not to think about it when you treat a trainee with perfect, enviable beauty so affectionately and act different like that. a mere student... I can't keep this to myself anymore, Seungmin." Seungmin wants to speak, but his arguments catch in his throat, his vision blurred by the tears that were in his mouth. You just nod, too tired to fight, gripping the strap of your bag tightly before walking past him. "Where- where are you going? You're driving with me." He shouts in your place, not worried about clarifying your doubts, but rather where you are going. 𝘚𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺, you think. "I'll go by taxi." And then you go, leaving him alone at the edge of the cold water under the lights of Seoul.

You lay on your bed, curled up in the fetal position, feeling more tears wet your face. The feelings were confused inside, you felt a strange relief that he finally knew your feelings, but the fear and anguish that Yo-rin was really right predominated without pause, making you experience double emotional exhaustion. Your cell phone vibrates next to you, you pick it up after several rings. There were messages from him.

𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 🐶🤍: I'm afraid you want space. I'm going to sleep in the dorm with the boys today, don't worry.

You sigh. It would be a long night's sleep.

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"Everything will be fine, you're amazing." Her friend Nayeon massages her shoulders, an act to uselessly ease her tension. The dressing room was a mess, people running from one side to the other arranging clothes and makeup. Today was a very important day for many fashion students, including you. A small fashion show planned for months where students presented their creations to be evaluated by the most respected professors on campus, in addition to important presences such as businesspeople and industry scouts. It was a very important day and the tension from his fight with Seungmin two days ago wasn't helping anything. During those two days, he stayed in the dorm and you didn't speak to each other again. You were sad and relieved that Seungmin didn't say anything to you, perhaps to give you space or out of fear of what might happen if you try to talk again.

You shallowly told your friend Nayeon how you fought with Seungmin after she confronted you about why you were acting so distracted and tired. She was understanding, giving a little speech about how fights like this are normal in relationships and that you would soon sort things out. You didn't take much faith, but agreed just to end the matter. You couldn't let personal matters get in the way of your work, not on this day. Only the best students were selected to have the opportunity to present their work and you passed with honor and praise. Your teacher announced your selection with pride and you couldn't be happier for the opportunity you've been given.

A thought quickly crossed your mind, imagining what it would be like if you weren't fighting with Seungmin, If only he was here to support her and tell her how proud he is. It makes you sad. Nayeon stops massaging her shoulders when she feels them more tense. "Honey, relax. Important people will be here today and you need to at least look presentable when they ask to see the creator of the best collection." She said with a playful smile on her face. "Now get up, hold your head high and show who the talent in this place is, you hear?" You smile at her sincerely, grateful for her generosity. "You're right, today is going to be a memorable day." You walk to your seats in the front row when they announce the start of the parade. Your pieces will be one of the last, so you are calmer at first. The lights go out and everything begins. It's no wonder that the best were selected for this, the pieces are truly incredible and vivid, you can't deny it.

It was time for your creations to appear and you were afraid of people's reactions. Nayeon squeezed his arm gently, a silent warning that you were doing well. When it was all over, the applause resounded loudly throughout the place and, as soon as the lights came on, your hands froze in place when you saw who was in front of you. Seungmin clapped happily when he saw his collection at an event like this. He was happy and proud, unlike two days ago when he left her distressed and without answers. She wanted to disappear and pretend she didn't see him, but when your eyes met, it was as if you could see the feelings he carried inside, longing to have you close to him. It was a short period of time before the event ended and his nerves were on edge. People were getting up and in the middle of the movement you saw Seungmin walk up to you, before he opened his mouth to say something, you nodded towards the backstage, asking him to follow you.

You guide him to sit at the dressing table that was in an unoccupied dressing room. You close the door, sitting across from him. A slightly uncomfortable silence settles in the room as you play with your fingers in your lap, an attitude you did when you were nervous. "I'm proud. You are extremely talented and my heart was happy when I saw that your talent was finally recognized." He breaks the silence by speaking in a low tone. You stare at him, formulating a decent response. You didn't want to be rude, but you were still upset with him. "Thank you." His voice was so low that if he hadn't been so close he might not have heard it. And once again silence fell, but not for long, as he spoke again, this time catching your attention more abruptly. "When I was a trainee I met a girl," you lift your head, curious as to what he's getting at, "we became friends, one thing led to another and we ended up becoming romantically involved," he pauses, watching your reaction carefully.

"She wasn't my first girlfriend, but she was the first one I thought I would actually move forward with. I treated her very well, being the example of a drama boyfriend," He tries to make a joke but you just look away, he sighed. "One day, I intended to take her to meet my parents and then she just attacked me. He said that I needed to change, that if I continued being this 'soft idiot' no one would ever stay, that no one wants someone so needy around. She broke up with me a few days later." His eyes met yours and you didn't know what to say, it was all so sudden. "It ended up that a few months later she got involved in a fight at the company and had to give up on her debut, leaving the company... It's not that I don't love you, dear… I'm afraid of losing you if I get too close. You are the most important person in my life and I don't know if I can imagine my life without you. I need you." His voice cracks, making him feel small. You lean in to wipe away the tears running down his face.

Not holding back, you hugged him warmly, longing and relief enveloped you in a loving way. You kissed his forehead and whispered while stroking his hair. "I would never leave you, I'm the one who needs you. I'm sorry- I'm sorry for not listening to you sooner." You cry together, relieved to have cleared things up. You still felt guilty for not listening to him, you felt selfish, but seeing how sincere he seemed, you thought you could give yourself a chance. He pulls you away, cupping your face so he can kiss you more easily. He held her with love, feeling her soft lips fit perfectly over his like pieces of a puzzle to which he was predestined to be united until his last breath of life. He brushes two more pecks on your lips before separating, taking in the air.

"I had a fight with Yo-rin…so I thought I had to at least settle it with you." He commented suddenly, making you look at him with concern. "Did you- did you fight because of me…?" He holds your hands, stroking them for you to relax. "It's not your fault, She's the one who needs to measure her words, that's all." His tone becomes more serious for a moment. You just nod in understanding. You are interrupted by Nayeon abruptly entering the dressing room. "Girl, I looked for you everywhere! The professor is behind you, a Japanese businessman is interested in your work and wants to talk to you." She smiles excitedly. It seems like things have really worked out.

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"Minnie!" You jump into his arms, the suitcase sliding away almost falling. He spins you in his arms, filling your face with chaste kisses as a manifestation of his longing. "Calm down, calm down! We're going to fall." He laughs, placing you on the ground. "I've been waiting for this for weeks, you know." You kiss him again, happy to finally see him after months. Eight months passed after everything happened and things were happening naturally. The boys were taking off with their new mini album for JYP Japan and you were visiting him in Shibuya, Taking advantage of the fact that she was on a business trip, she was hired to design the newest collection for a successful Japanese brand. You couldn't be more proud of each other. After a long and tiring flight, your boyfriend met you in your hotel room to welcome you.

"I know you're tired," he begins, looking with his puppy dog eyes, "but I need to take you to a very important place. And, before you deny it, it’s in your best interest, so…” you watch him curiously, reading his expression. "All is well then." You smile, hugging him once again.

It was night when he picked you up in your room that same day. The moon was full and bright and the weather was mild for it being spring. You passed through beautiful places and interesting streets before arriving at the place he had initially thought of, taking several memorable photos along the way. Holding your hand, he pulled you towards a slightly more reserved place, where trees with cherry blossoms lay, your favorites. You were amazed looking around you, the lighting made everything more exciting and charismatic. "Is this where you wanted to take me?" You ask smiling after sitting on a wooden bench beneath the trees. "Did you like it? The boys researched the best places for a romantic walk and I could only say thank you." A wide smile graces his features. He looks down at his feet, his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his mouth and his forehead couldn't stop sweating. "Baby... are you okay? We can go back if-

"no no! I'm fine, I just- I just wanted to tell you something." He looks at you, piecing together fragments of the speech he's practiced for hours in front of the members..

"I want to be honest with you. I've rehearsed this moment thousands of times and I still think I'm going to stutter as soon as I open my mouth." He gathers his courage and continues, you watch him curious and confused. "Some time ago, I was afraid of losing you. My life revolves around you and I was scared of losing you if you left. I realized that we only know for sure if something will last if we have the attitude to hold on to it and make sure it's yours." You watch him take a small marsala-colored velvety box from your pants, your eyes fill with water as you realize the reason for all this, for every planned part of this day. "My love, do you agree to become my priority forever?" He opens the small box, revealing two beautiful silver rings with details in pink stones.

You hug him, wetting his shoulder with the tears you shed in happiness. "Of course I do, darling." You were ready to become his permanently. He was yours and you were his, and no one would separate you, neither doubt nor fear, you would face the unknown together, because you love each other.

A/N_ I usually don't leave comments at the end of chapters, but after all this I think it's worthy of reactions. Okay, what was that? I swear I've never written a chapter this long and I confess I was proud because I didn't intend to make it this long. Please don't feel angry with Yo-rin 😭, she just wanted to help even though she acted like a bitch, that's it- but whatever. Like × reblog ¡ by:: @hyunjinners ^-^

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absolutebl · 2 years

Text

In Strongberry We Trust

I had a private ask about Strongberry recently so here’s some thoughts.

Strongberry is probably the most established KBL studio, they started in high production shorts/microfilms (as, indeed, did all of KBL) and still specialize in them. They also do some GL. They tend to have very good chemistry, work with professional actors (not idols), and will go high heat. They are now a division of Matchbox, and have been around and steadily producing content since 2017. The CEO is adorable.

For YEARS Strongberry was the only studio reliably producing BL content out of Korea. And, sometimes the kisses were even good! For real... there was a time, not so long ago, when all we really got was KBL shorts and most of those from Strongberry. Dark days. Except for Strongberry shining one bright light of BL content. They are reliable, HEA, and high quality.

Hence the fandom slogan...

#In Strongberry We Trust

They often pick odd (or underserved) premises but always execute beautifully. Their stuff is either on YouTube, Gaga, or pay to play on Vimeo, and they do move it around so my links might not always still be working. Vimeo earns them the most money. They are a small, struggling, queer-friendly studio, please support them and their content by not pirating or watching illegally.

Here's my ranking of Strongberry's offerings.

1. A First Love Story

2021 YouTube short in 2 microfilms

Tropes: childhood friends to lovers, home setting, soft tone, grumpy/sunshine pairing

Strongberry are true masters of their craft and yet A First Love Story is still one of the best things they have ever produced. It’s the only microfilm every to make one of my year end top ten list. It’s two episodes of about 8 minutes each that manage to perfectly portray the sweetest friends-to-lovers confession ever. It’s joyful, and gentle with its characters, and a little hot. How on earth do they manage to leave us yearning for more yet completely satisfied at the same time? It’s like the perfect amuse-bouche, that one finger food at that one cocktail party that you will never forget. You are a ridiculous human if you haven’t spent 16 minutes with these two boys. Go watch it now. Or go watch it again. It’s time VERY well spent.

2. Long Time No See

2017 Gaga KBL length series (total 1.5 hr, some places packaged as a movie)

Tropes: secret love, enemies to lovers, secret identity, assassins, catfishing, mafia, higher heat, grumpy/sunshine pairing

One of Strongberry’s few longer pieces and I often wonder whether this is strictly BL. It’s about assassins on either side of a terf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Good fight sequences, mature characters, high heat, very suspenseful, AND an HEA. If you like KinnPorsche you will LOVE this one.

3. Some More

2018 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, hyung romance, self acceptance, countryside setting, soft tone, age gap, country boy/city boy

One of my most favorite of Strongberry’s shorts, about a city boy on a bike tour who gets injured and rescued by a taciturn, but (as it turns out) very gay, farmer. Mentions of pride, adorable supportive cousin. SO CUTE with excellent chemistry and featuring tropes I can never get enough of.

3. Private Lessons

2019 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: student/teacher, jock/nerd, hyung romance, obsession, crush, university setting, May/December, age gap

Given it is age gap and teacher/student (AKA P’ABL’s catnip) it should rate higher on my list, but the chemistry is slightly off. Stil I do love this one for the dynamic. Certainly worth watching especially if this is one of your fav yaoi tropes.

4. Step For You

2018 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, sports, university setting, crush, jock/nerd, soft tone

About a reporter from the student newspaper who has to interview an older dancer and falls in love with him. This may not have been my first Strongberry, but it’s the first one I remember watching.

5. Please Tell Me So

2021 YouTube microfilm (AKA That's My Mr.Right!)

Tropes: crush, obsession, cafe setting, sunshine/sunshine pairing

Cute barista (played by Han Hyun Jun star of Love Class) has a crush on his customer, musters up the courage to ask him out.

6. My Pistachio

2018 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, crush, hero worship, hyung romance, university setting, play within a play, grumpy/sunshine

7. As if You Whisper

2019 Gaga movie

Tropes: friends to lovers, self acceptance, music industry setting, grumpy/sunshine pairing

8. Confidential Coffee Break

2021 Vimeo microfilm

Tropes: mature romance, long term relationship, self acceptance, university setting, one act

It’s a monologue piece about two closeted older gay professors discussing changing times and the nature of acceptance (self and others) in modern day South Korean academic environment.

9. Hold Me

2021 YouTube microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, self acceptance, high school setting

10. Sweet Curse

2021 Gaga short

Tropes: horror, paranormal elements, ghost story, possession, obsession, gay friendship group, everyone wants that one boy, bad/good

This is a low-gore atmospheric horror, with some very high heat. I’m not saying it’s in the top 10 just because of that, but I am saying when Strongberry does high heat it v good and v gay.

OTHERS

My Personal Trainer - 2019 short Gaga. It v silly and v gay. Influencer has crush on his personal trainer.

Secret Roommate - 2020 short Gaga, Cohabit, self acceptance, home setting, family, coming out

Fingers After - 2021 microfilm Vimeo. Cohabit, morning after, home setting, pining, sunshine/tsundere pairing.

Secret Spectacles - 2017 microfilm Gaga. Very silly again, friends to lovers, paranormal elements, university crush.

Table Manner - 2018 microfilm Gaga. Cohabit, self acceptance, home setting, long term relationship

The Summer Pasta Recipe - 2021 short YouTube, reunion, self acceptance, grumpy/sunshine.

There my be a few more I don’t know about, MDL doesn't seem to have a sort function for production company.

NEW!

Choco Milk Shake

2022 YouTube KBL length series (total 1.5 hr)

Tropes: cohabit, F2L, paranormal elements, home setting, soft tones, sunshine/tsundere.

Two pets, a cat and a dog, reincarnate as humans to visit their old owner. Stongberry gave us a full length BL on YouTube! It’s a BL miracle and an endless delight. It was wonderfully cute, unexpectedly hilarious but expectedly silly, a little too poignant, occasionally gut wrenching and with a somewhat expected weird (but happy-ish) ending. The actors playing the two pets must have had the best time. As, indeed, did I watching it. Jealous Milk made me cackle so hard it scared the actual cat on my lap. Choco was perfectly cast, and the chemistry was ultimately decent. In Strongberry I still trust. Thank you thank you, may we have another, sirs?

Two Other KBL shorts worth checking out:

Just Friends?

2009 Gaga short

I consider this one of Korea’s first actual BLs. Boyfriends, one of whom is on military leave, trying to decide on coming out and their future together. Bonus for out gay director and queer activist.

Being Me

2018 short Gaga

A summer of love for two long term besties who have basically always been boyfriends, but when a girl tries to date one of them, they finally realize it. Beautifully filmed and a STELLAR ending kiss.

(source)

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