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crescenthistory · 1 month ago

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i found a home, she's beautiful

Pairing: Lee (Bones & All) x Reader

Summary: Lee feels compelled to visit Kayla, and brings you along for the first time. It is as awkward as it's sweet, and it leads to him finding more words about how he feels.

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: not proofread, typical bones&all understated atmosphere, kayla and lee have issues, sibling tension, statements of love, hints at Bad Childhoods, gender neutral reader

Note: the lee and reader in this fic is assumed to be the same as in you and i, we've grown comfortable here (might revisit and edit this later who knows!)

***

It has been hours since you crossed the state line, and you can feel the air thickening, carrying the scent of earth and the remnants of a summer that hasn’t quite let go yet. Lee drives with one hand on the wheel, his other drifting between your knee and the gear shift, a soft but solid reminder of his presence. Despite his many hours on the road, he remains unable to sit still for long, but no matter what position he ends up in, his skin is never more than an inch away from yours.

He hasn’t said much since the last gas station, a few miles back. Nothing, really, beyond repeating the basics about the town you’re headed to.

“Three more miles,” he murmurs, almost to himself, like the words are a way to steady him.

Your gaze shifts from his steering wheel hand to his side profile, mentally caressing its edges, smoothing over the hard line of his jaw and the tension that rides up his shoulders. It doesn’t necessarily bother you that he is quiet, despite all the chaos of him, he has always had this stillness about him. He carries a world of things he never lets anyone see, only recently letting you slip further and further in through the cracks. Today, though, this town – there’s something else. You don't push. A rhythm settles between you in the last spurt of the drive, the kind that lets the silence speak when words don’t know how. You’ve been through enough with Lee to know when he is trying to brace himself for something.

You have met others from Lee’s past before, people he cares about, or once did. They always come with complications. They remind him of things he has spent years trying to forget. Kayla, though, she is different. She is important in ways he can’t put into words, you can only decipher the look in his eyes. Love, longing, guilt – wishful thinking, likely about what could have been. From the way Lee’s knuckles whiten on the wheel, it’s clear that seeing her again is something that carries more weight than even he is ready to admit.

“You nervous?” he asks suddenly, eyes flicking toward you for a brief second. He had felt your gaze on him.

“A little,” you admit, though your voice stays soft. “But you’re nervous too.”

The corner of his mouth quirks up in a wry smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. The sentiment is still nice. “Yeah,” he says, almost too quietly for you to hear. He flexes his fingers as he speaks.

He had gotten off the phone with her in a booth a week back. It was a routine you had started picking up on, a cycle spanning about a month or two. The tension in Lee would build, he would lose a bit of his carelessness and free spirit, and eventually he would find some way to call her. It was pretty much anyone’s guess whether he would come back to you looking like a weight was lifted off him or even more guilt-wreaked than before. Either way, he always had a more genuine smile on his face and would pull you in tight, regardless of where you were.

You had asked him once, when he seemed to be particularly weighed down by his thoughts, if he had thought about calling home. He had stared at you for a minute, searching your face, before chuckling and kissing you, smile against your lips. It wasn’t unusual for him to not answer your questions like that, it was only fair considering you did the same. Shutting him up with a kiss was arguably your favourite activity.

The week after, he asked you if you would want to join him to visit Kayla anytime soon. He was a bit sheepish, so you knew it was important to him, and you were on the road within the hour.

The town comes into view, small and rundown, the kind of place that doesn’t ask much of its residents, just expects them to stay. It is the kind of town that raised Lee, and the kind he has always been running from. The houses are old, their paint faded under years of sun and neglect, and the main street looks deserted, as if life itself has slowed to a crawl here. You see the past everywhere – the echoes of what once was, the weight of what remains. You can only imagine what Lee sees.

He pulls into a gravel driveway in front of a modest house. The front yard is overgrown, the grass wild and unruly like it has given up trying to stay neat. It reminded you oddly of him, wild and beautiful, but you didn’t tell him. You take in the place through the car window, it feels abandoned but lived-in, in that way small towns sometimes do when people hold on to homes long after they have stopped taking care of them. The house is quiet, but you can see a curtain twitch at one of the windows, a small sign of movement.

Lee kills the engine, the silence settling thick around you both. Neither of you make a move to get out, but your hand sneaks over to hold his tightly. He squeezes back, his gaze remains trained at the front door, his jaw working as if he is chewing on words he is not ready to speak. You can feel the energy rolling off him, a nervous undercurrent that makes the air in the truck feel heavy.

“She will be so happy to see you,” you whisper, thumb stroking over the back of his hand.

“She always is,” he says, voice somehow already laced with melancholy. Then he laughs a bit before adding, “and then she gets real pissed it took me so long.”

“Before she goes back to happy again. It will be fine.”

“She… she’s gonna like you,” Lee says suddenly, knocking himself out of his trance and finally looking over at you.

A part of you wants to just remain tough for him in that moment. Another, louder one knows you know each other too deeply by now to not share the intimacy in that moment together fully. You try to not hold back your feelings anymore, even if it’s tempting. “What if she doesn’t?”

His usual dark eyes soften and his lips twitch into something that might’ve been a smile if it weren’t for the storm brewing just beneath the surface. “She will.”

You nod, letting your trust help ease the atmosphere for him. You give his hand another squeeze, signalling that you’re ready.

Lee sinks back in his seat and exhales, long and slow, before opening the truck door. You exit yourself, hopping down and immediately slammed by a wall of heat. It smells oddly similar to the town you grew up in, and you shake the thought as best as you can, rounding the truck to follow Lee. The steps to the front door are uneven and squeak when you shift your weight, as you stand just behind him as he hesitates just for a second before knocking.

A beat. Then the door opens, and there she is.

Kayla looks almost exactly like you imagined – tall, lean, with strong features softened only slightly by time. She is older than in the grainy pictures Lee drag around, you can see she is beginning to step into adulthood, while still clinging onto her younger self. She has Lee’s eyes, sharp and focused, though hers carry a different weight than his. Maybe it’s the years. Maybe it’s the fact that she stayed while he left.

“Lee,” she says, her voice a mix of surprise and something that sounded like relief but not quite. “You’re late.”

“Wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t, right?” Lee jokes, his voice quieter than usual, like he’s not sure how to navigate this moment. Still, he moves in for a hug, holding her tight for a few seconds before stepping back with a half-hearted grin.

Kayla’s eyes shift to you, appraising but not unkind. She takes a moment, looking back and forth between you and Lee, like she is trying to figure out exactly who you are, or maybe what you mean to Lee.

She apparently figures it out as she says, only a few seconds after the silence turned awkward, “You must be the one Lee’s told me about. He said he hoped you’d join. I’m Kayla.”

“Uh yeah, I hope that’s me at least. Nice to finally meet you,” you try to joke, feeling the air between you both settle into something slightly more comfortable.

Lee laughs a bit at that, introducing the two of you more formally before moving to step inside the house, nudging you slightly to get you to join him.

Kayla steps back to give you space to move in, and the smell of something cooking hits you immediately, it smells warm and familiar, like roast chicken and herbs. The kind of smell that reminds you of homes you have never had but wished for, a stark contrast to the harsh realities you and Lee survived for so long.

The inside of the house is small and worn, but it feels much more alive than the outside. You can see traces of Kayla in every corner – the carefully organised bookshelf, the faded quilt draped over the couch, the photos lining the walls. It’s a place built from years of history, from roots Lee never wanted but still has.

“Mom’s still away?” Lee calls from the living room, as he walks around, fingers barely grazing over anything he walked past, taking it all in.

“Yeah, she’s got some shit going on nowadays,” Kayla yells back from the kitchen, a bit louder than necessary given the small space and open doors. “All of us do, don’t we?”

Neither of you answer. You felt kind of out of place still, like you were one part of Lee wandering through another, and he was busy staring at all the pictures framing the doors.

“Sit,” Kayla says, gesturing to the small kitchen table. “I made us dinner, assumed you hadn’t had any.”

You give her a soft smile, helping her out with carrying over the final things to the table. You glanced over at Lee, but his eyes were everywhere else. He has always been good at hiding when things get too close to the bone, but you can see the way his shoulders are stiff, the way his fingers curl into fists before he shoves them into his pockets. He doesn’t like this house – but when he looks at Kayla, he does soften a little.

He eventually sits down in the chair beside yours, once everything is on the table, muttering some quiet thank yous to his sister. It’s simple, but it smells good, like the kind of meal that’s meant to fill more than just your stomach. You eat in relative silence at first, the clink of silverware and the hum of the old refrigerator filling the room. It’s not necessarily awkward, but there’s a tension underneath it all, like something’s sitting between Lee and Kayla that neither of them know how to address yet.

After a few minutes, Kayla clears her throat. “So�� how long are you two staying?”

Lee’s fork hovers over his plate for a second before he answers. “Just for the night.”

Kayla’s expression tightens, just for a second, but then she nods, her face smoothing back into something unreadable. She stands to clear the plates, and you stand to help, but she waves you off, insisting, "I've got it."

Lee’s gaze follows her and his fingers tap restlessly against the table, a sure sign that he’s trying to work through something in his head.

“You’re still running,” Kayla says suddenly, not looking at him as she rinses a plate under the tap. Her voice is steady, but there’s something sharp underneath it, like she’s been holding onto those words for a long time.

Lee’s fingers stop tapping. His eyes harden. “Not running. Just an ongoing adventure.”

Kayla turns off the water, drying her hands slowly. She turns to face him, leaning back against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. “You’ve been keeping to yourself for a long time, Lee. I thought maybe… maybe one day you’d come back for real.”

His jaw clenches, and you can feel the tension rising between them, thick like smoke. “I ain’t never been good at staying.”

“No,” she says, her voice softening, “you haven’t.”

“And I’m not by myself anymore anyway,” Lee adds tentatively, gaze finally shifting over to you. You smile back at him and it’s like something in his face settles.

Kayla seems to lull over his last comment. The silence that follows is heavy, but it shifts from the heaviness of a thundercloud to that of a thick wool blanket. There’s a rawness in the air, like they’re finally getting close to the heart of it, even if it hurts.

“You’re still my brother, no matter how much adventurin’ you need to do,” Kayla says after a long moment. Her voice wavers, just for a second, before she steadies herself again. “I don’t need you to stay forever. I just need to know you’re okay. That you’re not just… wandering alone.”

You can see the way Lee swallows hard, the way his eyes flick to yours again before he says, with more conviction this time: “I ain’t alone.”

Kayla’s eyes soften as they follow his gaze, landing on you. Her mind’s turning is visibly written across her face, and though she clearly is not happy, she seems to grow more comfortable. Like she’s seeing something she hadn’t noticed before, something that settles the worry

“You ain’t alone,” Kayla repeats, more to herself now than to Lee, her voice quiet, almost relieved. She looks at you with a kind of guarded curiosity, as if she’s trying to understand what it is about you that makes him different, what’s tethered him when nothing else could. When she couldn’t.

You hold her gaze, steady and unflinching, a burning desire building in your chest to make her see that you do care about Lee, that you know him. Maybe even better than he knows himself sometimes.

The silence stretches for a beat too long, until finally, Kayla sighs and steps toward the table, pulling out the chair across from Lee. She sits down slowly, her elbows resting on her knees as she leans forward slightly, eyes fixed on her brother. The energy in the room shifts again, quieter, more vulnerable.

“I don’t need to know everything,” she says, voice softened but steady. “I get it. There’s parts of your life you can’t talk about… won’t talk about. But what I need to know is if you’re good – really good. Are you taken care of, Lee? Are you actually alright?”

Lee doesn’t answer right away. He exhales, long and slow, his shoulders tense as if the weight of the question is too heavy. You can feel him pulling inward, like he's trying to build walls again, but you reach across the table, resting your hand over his. His skin is warm, rough beneath your fingertips, and he turns his palm up towards you.

“I am,” he says quietly, a small smile beginning to spread. “I ain’t the same as I was, Kay. Not anymore. We live different now, it’s… it’s a good life.”

Kayla leans back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest, her gaze flicking back to you. “You’ve done something for him,” she says, the words not quite a question but close enough. “I can see it.”

“I think we’ve done something for each other,” you reply softly, your thumb brushing over the lines of Lee’s hand.

Kayla watches you both for a long moment, her eyes narrowing as if she’s still trying to wrap her head around this new reality, this version of her brother who’s not just running anymore. Maybe there’s a part of her that is jealous that even this version is not fully within her reach, or maybe she’s just relieved that he has reached this stage. Whatever it is, her features soften in a way you hadn’t seen before.

“I’m glad,” she says, voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t think he’d ever find it.”

Lee clears his throat, the sound breaking the momentary silence, and shifts in his chair. He’s not used to being the centre of attention like this – used to anyone seeing through him so easily. You can feel the discomfort radiating off him, but before he can slip back into the safety of silence, Kayla leans forward again.

“I’m not gonna stop worrying about you, Lee,” she says, her tone serious but not unkind. “You can’t ask me to. You’re my brother. But if you’re telling me you’ve found something… someone, I’ll take that. I’ll take knowing you ain’t just a drifter anymore.”

Lee’s eyes flick to hers, a strange sort of emotion flickering in them before he nods, almost imperceptibly. He’s never been one for big gestures or long speeches, and this – this quiet, raw acknowledgment – is about as much as he can give right now. Kayla seems to understand that.

She stands, crossing to the sink, and for a moment, the tension lifts just a little, like they have found some kind of middle ground.

“I’m gonna miss you, you know, I always do,” Kayla says softly, rinsing off a plate. “But if you’re taken care of, I can live with that. I’m just… I’m just glad you came back, even if it’s just for a little while.”

“I’ll always come back for you, Kayla,” Lee finally says. “Even if it’s just for a little while.”

A half-hearted smile spreads across his lips; and when she mirrors it, you truly see the resemblance between the two.

Lee moves throughout the kitchen, his shoulders relaxing more and more, eyes still trained on his sister, drinking her in. You wonder if he’s realising how much she has grown as well, if he is comparing her to childhood memories drifting through his head. You hope they’re not all bad. By the way his eyes soften as he watches her move around the kitchen, you know they can’t be. This place, this house – it’s never going to be his home again, but it was once, and that’s something.

The conversation shifts to lighter things as the three of you move to the living room. Small talk about the town, updates on old neighbours, people Lee knew growing up. The less heavy the subject, the more you can feel Lee opening that part of him up, and your heart tinges as you watch how Kayla revels in it, knowing you see it more often than she likely ever will again. You can feel the lingering sadness in Kayla’s voice when she talks about some of old memories and people, some who have passed, some moved on, while others stayed stuck in this small town. Beyond the sadness, though, there is a strength in her, a quiet resilience that feels familiar in the way Lee holds his own burdens.

It is late when you finally step outside, the heavy darkness of the countryside settling around you like a blanket. Lee’s hand finds yours as you walk back to the truck, loosely interlocking your fingers. The night is warm, the hum of cicadas filling the air. In that darkness, you can at last sense his true comfort, his belonging.

You climb into the truck, the door creaking as Lee slides in beside you. For a moment, you both just sit there, letting the weight of the day settle. The house behind you is dark, but you know Kayla’s still awake in there, probably watching you through the curtains.

“You alright?” you ask quietly, leaning your head back against the seat, letting it loll to the side to keep your eyes on him.

Lee doesn’t answer right away. His hands rest on the steering wheel, but he doesn’t start the truck. Instead, he stares straight ahead, his brows furrowed like he is working through something in his head. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he turns to look at you, his eyes soft but intense, like he is trying to convey something he doesn’t know how to say.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice low and rough. “I think I am.”

The words are simple, but they carry a weight you can feel deep in your bones. He reaches out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your cheek. There is something in the way he looks at you, something raw and unguarded, that makes your chest tighten.

“She’s right, you know,” Lee whispers, his thumb brushing your jawline. “I was runnin’ for a long time. But…” He pauses, his eyes searching yours, like he’s afraid of the weight of what he’s about to say. “I don’t feel like I gotta run no more. Not with you.”

You smile at his expression of affection, heart blooming with how him that statement was. He often does not say things outright, but right now, in this quiet space, it feels like he is giving you everything he has.

You lean into his touch, your eyes closing for a brief second, letting yourself breathe him in. “You don’t have to run,” you murmur. “Not with me.”

When you open your eyes, Lee’s watching you with that same intensity, his eyes darker than usual, but softer somehow too. “Part of me wishes I could stay here, y’know, for Kayla? Maybe not here, I don’t think I would ever be fully embraced in this town again, but… I can’t picture it. This isn’t my home anymore, nowhere specific can be my home again.”

A soft smile remains around your lips as you listen to him speak, giving him the space he needs to express himself.

His voice drops to barely above a whisper, and the words feel like they are for you alone. “You… you’re my home now.”

The confession settles in the space between you, wrapping itself around your heart like a promise. It is not the kind of thing Lee says lightly, not the kind of thing he’s ever let himself believe in before, but with you, it’s different. You are different.

You lean over the centre console, pressing your forehead against his, your fingers finding his and lacing together. The night stretches out around you, warm and still, and you know his words to be true.

“Then let’s go home, shall we?” you whisper, to which his full-fledged Lee grin finally appears, the tension of the day washing away.

He turns the engine on, and backs out of the driveway and onto the road – the one that belongs to just the two of you. The one that never ends.

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screaminglygay · 1 year ago

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third time is a charm, right?

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, wanda maximoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x wanda maximoff

summary: being ditched by your date always sucks, but what if there is a chance you´ll meet someone very special at a local pub?

warnings: alcohol consumption and some swearing

word count: 1.1K

(italica = your thoughts)

Again. You´re sitting yet in another bar waiting for your tinder date to come. You look around and you see how crowded it got. How long have you been waiting here? An hour? Maybe two? You decide to check your phone, maybe send another few messages to Kayla, the girl you were supposed to meet, but you can´t find her profile, you refresh the page, but her cute smiley face is nowhere to find in your contacts.

She blocked you.

You let out a chuckle, because this is definitely not the first time something like that has happened. It was actually the third time. You thought that third time is a charm, and you will meet the love of your life, well maybe that´s not how tinder really works.

You look around once more, seeing all the happy couples makes you want to throw up, even though you only had one drink.

Sigh.

You really want to go home, take off all your fancy clothes and change into some extremely comfy pj´s. Grab the large bucket of your favorite ice cream and put some Disney on. But you don´t want another girl from a dating site put you in bad mood. So, after a few minutes of inner fight with yourself, you order another cocktail.

A couple of minutes pass, you're not even angry with Kayla—in fact, you've completely forgotten about her. Your mind is now occupied with a bunch of strangers that are having a good time. Some of them are drinking beer, some are playing billiard and some of them are just being humans. Bopping their head at the rhythm of not so loud music in the background, it sounds like an 80´s playlist. But you cannot hear it very well, so it´s just a guess.

After scanning the whole room there is something that caught your eye. Looking back, you notice a stunning woman alone in her booth. Although her brown hair is messy, it seems so flawless. You study her for some time, and you can´t get enough of her. The more you look at her, the more you feel trapped by her charm. She is simply sitting there, but it appears that she is doing everybody a favor by just existing.

Normally you would only gaze at her from afar, but maybe the third time is truly a charm. You finish your drink and you're already on your legs walking straight towards where she´s sitting. You are just going for it without any preparation. Shoutout to the cocktails you had. After what felt like miles, you're almost at her booth.

You smile and take one deep breath.

You can't help but notice the second glass on the table that is almost finished as soon as you are standing next to her.

Shit. Abort mission. She´s not alone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You try to turn around as fast as you can and pretend like nothing ever happened.

“May I help you?” you hear the sweetest voice you have ever heard in your life.

You turn around, looking down at her. Making eye contact with her was in fact a stupid idea. She had such beautiful eyes that you couldn't help but stare at her for a few seconds like a lost puppy. Her smile also felt like sunshine on your face, which made you instinctively smile. You practically drooled over this amazing-looking stranger and completely missed the fact that someone was approaching you from behind.

“Baby, you´re ordering another drink?” said a velvety voice that sounds confident yet very subtle.

Baby? Oh shit. Now I´m screwed up.

You are standing still, barely breathing, and literally looking like the definition of a deer caught in headlights. Both women are observing you from up close and there is not a single thought in your mind.

“Uh um sorry... would you like another drink?” you reply, still looking at the brown-haired girl, thinking this was the best way to get away from this awkward situation.

“No, thank you?” She looked at you up and down, while tilting her head to the side, with a bigger smile on her face than before.

“But I'll get another whiskey, please” it was the raspy voice again.

Finally turning to face her, you swallow hard. The darkly lit room highlighted the seductive redhead's mysterious presence as you focused on her. Your whole body tingled as her smokey eyes locked onto yours, cutting through the distance separating you and forming some sort of connection you don’t understand yet, but it seems like she already does.

“Yes! One whiskey is on its way!” you do finer guns and smiled awkwardly. Almost running away.

Faking being the waitress is a new one, really. Oh god.

The evident couple shares a smirk and a small chuckle while you're waiting at a bar for the drink that the redheaded goddess ordered.

“I don´t think she works here, Tasha” younger girl giggles and makes eye contact with her girlfriend.

“No, she definitely doesn't. She was on her phone when we got here.” older woman replied, while she glances over her shoulder to look at you.

“Huh... she´s adorable" Wanda admit, glancing over at you again. Natasha just nods her head in agreement.

You returned a little while later with the whiskey, sending a little smile to the women.

“Here you go! Enjoy rest of the night!” you yelped as you turn around, but someone was fast enough to grab your hand.

“One more thing, sweetheart...” you turn your head back and see that your wrist is now in a hand of one of the most attractive people your eyes have ever seen.

People don’t make the same mistake twice, right? But you did and you made eye contact, again. Getting lost in someone´s eyes should be your job, honestly. Your mouth is slightly open at the sudden nickname that the goddess herself gave you. Maybe you're that delusional that you heard something else, but her hungry gaze is saying something else.

“Hm?” is the only thing you can let out in this tense moment.

“Give us a call when you're ready to stop pretending to be a waitress.” she grinned and let go of your wrist. She stood up and gave you her business card with some money.

“You can have the change.” she adds, winking at you while instantly grabbing a hand of her sweet girlfriend, who just smiles at you.

Yet again you were like a deer in the headlights, just standing there. When you turned around, they were already gone, you looked down at the money and it hit you... They left a hundred bucks, even though they had like three drinks in total.

What just happened?

But what hit you the most was the message on the business card. It was written in pretty neat writing. Overall, the whole business card looked elegant.

“Next time don’t be shy to talk to us, darling”

- Natasha and Wanda

(let me know if you want part two!:)

#wanda x natasha #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #marvel fanfic #wlw #first fic #third time is a charm right?#adele writes

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bluntvixen · 1 month ago

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youtube

Has anyone watched this? I thought it was a good profile on Azzi, and it gave an idea of where she can improve. I agree that her ceiling is Kayla McBride/Klay Thompson. Thoughts?

#uconn wbb #azzi fudd #wnba #Youtube

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lovegalor333 · 8 days ago

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fresh start

part eight (chapter 22-24) previous part • next part

word count: 6.8k

content warnings: mentions of su*cide homophobia self-h*rm

Lily

Kelsey, Kayla and I had met for lunch and were sat together in the cafeteria waiting for Paige and the girls to finish their workout.

"How many follow requests do you have now?" Kelsey asks peering over my shoulder as I scroll on my phone.

"I think it's at like twelve thousand." I say as I navigate to Instagram to check, "Twelve thousand, one hundred and sixty three." I confirm.

Paige tagged me in a story for the first time this morning and after the pictures and videos of us after the game came out, of course people have been curious as to who I am. I have a private page so all people can see is my profile picture and that induces enough anxiety I know I'm not ready for them to see my whole feed just yet.

"You're going to be famous! Have you seen the TikTok edits?" My roommate asks, practically bouncing in her seat.

"Yes, but have you seen the comments?" My stomach flips at the memory of last night.

I stayed off of social media for as long as possible after the game just to avoid the initial reaction to Paige and me but as soon as I went on TikTok, I was inundated. Despite everyone telling me to not open the comments, I did and I couldn't stop scrolling once I started.

Of course there were nice comments too but the ones that stood out, the ones that have stayed in my head have been the nasty ones. A lot of people have enjoyed telling me how ugly and disgusting I am, how I don't deserve Paige and how she could do so much better.

"Girl, you have to ignore those. They're coming from literal children that are jealous. Do you know how much hate I got when I first started hanging out with the team?" Kayla chimes in.

"Does it get any better?" I half laugh, half huff hoping her answer is yes.

"Once they realise you're not going anywhere, it'll ease up. It's part and parcel of WAG life unfortunately, someones always going to want to be you." Kayla says and I'd be lying if I said the haters weren't planting seeds of doubt in my mind about whether I'm strong enough for this.

"I couldn't workout multiple times a day! I don't know how they do it." Kelsey lightens the mood as she nibbles on her cookie.

"Me either." I agree and gulped down the remainder of my water hoping it would ease the sudden headache that I had.

I got up to refill my bottle and was hit with a random wave of intense dizziness. If it wasn't 1PM on a Tuesday you'd think I was drunk.

"Your neck is kinda red Lils." Kayla says pointing towards my neck as I joined her and Kelsey again.

My hand instinctively goes to my neck and its warm to the touch and slightly itchy and that's when I realise what's happening.

"Shit!" I exclaim grabbing the empty salad box from the table in front of me and I scan the ingredients list frantically.

"What's happening?" Kayla asks leaning towards me.

"I think I'm having an allergic reaction. Actually...I know I'm having an allergic reaction." I breath out in jagged breaths as I start to panic but also because I was most likely going into anaphylaxis.

"Holy fuck!" Kelsey exclaims, standing up, "Where's your EpiPen?"

"In my bag." I tell her and I suddenly feel extremely sick and as if I'm about to faint.

My body temperature is rising and I feel disoriented and confused.

Kelsey hands me my EpiPen and I administer it they way I was taught. Removing the blue safety cap and quickly jabbing it into to my thigh, but my lightheadedness only increases and I know for sure I'm about to faint.

Paige

The doors to the gym swing open and smack into the wall causing us to all turn and see who had made such a loud entrance.

"Kelsey?" I say confused as Lilys best friend hurries in the gym, "I know I said I'd meet y'all and one o'clock but I'm not that late." I laugh glancing at the time and seeing it's only ten past the hour.

Kelsey shakes her head as she reaches me breathless, "It's not that. It's Lily, we had to call 911."

It feels as though I've been hit by a truck, my knees go weak and almost buckle beneath me and I felt vomit rise in my throat.

"What?!" I exclaim, scrambling to grab my phone from the floor to check if I'd missed anything, "What happened?"

"She had a reaction. We think she ate something containing nuts, the ambulance is on the way." Kelsey explains and I look towards my teammates almost as though I was stuck in place, unable to move.

"Go!" Nika urges throwing me the t-shirt she had over her shoulder because I was dressed in just a sports bra and shorts after our workout.

I catch the shirt and hurry after Kelsey out of the gym.

"Text me!" Azzi calls after me and I don't have time to reply, I'm just focused on getting to Lily as quickly as possible.

The usual quick walk from the gym to the cafeteria felt like it took hours even when I was running. I finally see the ambulance as Kelsey and I rounded the corner and the sight of the vehicle calmed me slightly knowing Lily was in safe hands.

"Lily?" I called out as we jogged into the cafeteria, although I don't know why, I didn't expect her to respond. From what Kelsey had said, she was in a bad way.

"Oh my god, Lily." When I see her, she's already laid on a stretcher, an oxygen mask secured over her mouth and nose, her is sleeve rolled up and there's an IV connected to her arm.

Her eyes are in an inbetween state of half opened and half closed, she looks as though she's just falling asleep or waking up.

"Is someone coming in the ambulance?" The paramedic asks looking at all of us around Lily.

"Me." I say on impulse.

"I'll follow in my car." Kayla says gathering her belongings.

I follow behind the paramedics wheeling Lily to the ambulance and pull the shirt Nika gave me over my head.

"Is she going to be OK?" I timidly ask the paramedics as they load Lily into the ambulance.

"She administered the adrenaline quickly so she'll be fine. With anaphylaxis, there can be a biphasic response, a secondary reaction, so it's best to be at the hospital in case that happens."

"Paige..." I hear Lilys low, muffled voice call out my name.

"Hey, I'm here." I say tenderly reaching for her hand as the ambulance begins to drive.

Her eyes are still heavy and hooded and if I didn't know better, I'd think she was drunk or high. She tries to pull down her oxygen mask, "Keep that on pretty girl, it's helping you." I say moving her hand away.

The journey to the hospital was quick and mostly silent apart from my words of encouragement to my girlfriend. Her eyes would flicker open every now and then and she'd squeeze my hand, communicating without words.

We were put in a room as soon as we arrived and multiple doctors and nurses bustled in and out tending to Lily.

I listen intently to each thing they said. Lily was being treated with more adrenaline, oxygen and fluids intravenously. She would make a full recovery.

"We'd like to keep you here for a few hours, Miss Kent. Just to monitor your condition and ensure there isn't a secondary reaction. Your blood pressure is increasing so you should start to feel normal again soon." The nurse says to Lily before excusing herself, leaving us alone.

"How are you feeling?" I ask walking over to Lilys bedside.

She pulls down the oxygen mask and I let her this time, "Better." She says, her voice weak and childlike.

"Good because you had me scared me for a second." I say smoothing down her hair.

"I was scared too." She tells me and she begins to silently cry, tears running down her face. "I've always had a pretty good handle on my allergy, this made me feel so...out of control."

"Oh Lily," I say wiping her tears as they fall, "accidents happen baby. You handled it exactly the way you should have. I'm proud of you." I tell her wrapping her in a hug as best I could while she was laid down and I was stood over her.

"I'm usually so careful with checking ingredients but I must have missed something." She continues and pushes herself up slightly so she's sitting.

"I know, but you're OK Lily," I reassure her, my hand cupping her cheek, "you can't blame yourself, things get missed sometimes and we can't help that, we just have to deal with it and you did."

"I don't even remember what happened clearly. I just remember my head hurting so bad and then all of a sudden I was on a stretcher with this mask on and you were there, with no shirt on." She weakly jokes raising her brows cheekily, "I think that's what brought me back to life."

I laugh, "Still got a sense of humour, I see. I worked hard on these abs, glad to know they're saving lives."

"Maybe if you flash them again, we'll get out of here quicker."

"Or maybe you're blood pressure will raise too much and we'll be here all night, so relax please."

Lily was discharged from hospital four hours later, with two new EpiPens and antihistamines that she needed to take for the next few days.

Kayla drove us all back to campus and dropped me off with Lily and Kelsey at their apartment.

"Thank you, K." Lily says as we climb out of the car.

"No worries, Lil. Get some rest." Kayla replies and waves us goodbye.

"I don't think I can even make it to the apartment, my legs feel like jello." Lily says holding onto my arm in support.

"I don't don't spend hours in the gym for nothing." I say crouching down in front of her so I could give her a piggyback ride, "Hop on."

Lily climbs on my back and I carry her into the apartment block and into the elevator. We follow Kelsey through the front door and I lower Lily onto her bed.

"What would I do without you?" She says reaching out for me.

"Don't even think about that, you've got me." I say and we lay side by side on her bed in comfortable silence.

"So how about seeing those abs." Lily says after a while, her hand trailing up under my shirt and I laugh.

"Anything for you."

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

Lily

I was finally starting to feel better after my allergic reaction a few days ago and just starting to get back to normal again after taking time off work and away from classes to recover.

I've always been extremely careful with my allergy, taking extra care when I eat out to make sure everything is safe and up until now I've managed to never have such a severe reaction so in a way I felt like I have failed. I couldn't keep myself safe. I couldn't do the one thing that really matters and it scared me. What if it happens again? And even worse, what if I'm alone when it happens? I was lucky to have my friends by my side this time. I was used to being in control and being so out of control wasn't something I wanted to experience again.

I force myself to stop thinking so negatively because that never ends well and I walk out of my bedroom and into our living room. All my roommates were out so I was home alone, not that I minded much.

Every surface was home to a beautiful bunch of flowers, gifted to me by my friends, people I worked with and of course Paige. Paiges bouquet was the most extravagant and took pride of place in the centre of our dining table. I smiled as I passed the full vases feeling very thankful for my friends and girlfriend.

I had held off calling home and telling my parents about my hospital visit because I knew it would turn into a lecture of some kind but Thanksgiving was coming up and I needed to know our plans because I'd be going back to Boston for a few days.

I settled myself into the couch, pulling a fluffy blanket over the bottom half of my body and pressed call on my moms contact. The dialling tone rang and rang and rang until I was eventually met with her answering machine. I decided to try my dad and I just as I thought he wasn't going to pick up either, at the last second he did.

"Hello, Lily." My dads voice spoke stern and serious as always through my phone.

"Hi, Dad. I tried to call Mom but I got her voicemail. Is everything OK? I wanted to talk to you both." I say.

"Your mother is here with me now."

Weird.

"Oh, why didn't she pick up?" I ask confused. If my mom wasn't busy then why had she avoided my call?

I hear my moms muffled voice through the phone but I can't quite make out what she is saying but her tone didn't sound happy.

"Dad?"

"Lily, listen. You're mother has been seeing stuff online. About you. You...and a girl. Another girl."

My entire body freezes as my dad speaks and I feel my heart rate spike.

Why did this sound like a problem?

"Right..." I say wanting my dad to continue with whatever point he was trying to make.

"You said you wanted to leave Boston for a fresh start and it seems nothing has changed." My dads words hit like knives.

"I-I left for a fresh start because I tried to kill myself. I didn't come to Connecticut for conversion therapy. I came to move on from everything that happened." I croak out as my mouth has completely dried up and it feels as though my throat is closing.

My mom continues to speak but I still can't make out her words, "You speak to her then, Jackie." My dad says as I hear my mom huff and the phone being passed over.

"If you left to move on then why are you still living the same way? With this- this Paige girl! And so publicly! It's like you want the entire world to know. The entire world does know! It's all anyone asks me about. It makes me sick." My mom shouted at me to the point of breathlessness.

I felt blindsided. I was so confused. My parents had been fine with me and my ex, they were happy for me to come to Connecticut.

"I don't understand where this has come from. You had no problem with me and Mia-"

"We didn't know about you and Mia until it was over and Mia...she's turned her life around. We thought you would have too." My mom continues her rant and all my emotions begin to blend into one, there are tears streaming down my face but I've never been angrier.

"What do you mean 'turned her life around'?" I ask although I know exactly what she meant.

"She's fixed. Whatever you had with her was just a phase and rightly so! She has a handsome boyfriend now and is very happy." My mom solidifies my assumptions and I feel sick to my stomach.

"And I'm very happy with my beautiful girlfriend." I say trying to steady my voice to not make it obvious that I was crying.

My mom lets out a ridiculous child-like cry as if I'd just died.

"Lily that's enough. You're making your mom upset." My dads voice comes through the phone again and I laugh in irony.

"I was calling about Thanksgiving plans and to tell you guys I had a bad reaction and was in the hospital." I spit, anger laced in my words.

"She's not coming back here for Thanksgiving. Everyone knows!" My moms voice rings out clear and unforgiving.

"Jackie-" My dad begins to reason but I end the call before I hear anything more.

I didn't need to hear anything more.

I sit lifeless on the couch just staring ahead so many thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of me but simultaneously feeling completely numb and void of emotion.

What had just happened?

I moved robotically back to my room, my phone still clutched in my hands as if I was waiting for my dad to call me back and apologise for what had been said but I knew all too well that that wouldn't happen. I knew my parents too well. I was stupid to believe they were OK with who I was in the first place but did they really think that coming to Connecticut would somehow change who I loved?

I stood in my bedroom contemplating what to do. That phone call had changed everything. My mom had made it clear that I wasn't welcome at home. Home. Could I even call it that anymore? Just as things were beginning to plateau, just as I was starting to genuinely feel happy again, it felt like someone was playing a sick joke on me.

I felt the overwhelming urge to cope with this in the only way I knew how to cope with anything that hurt me mentally and that was to feel it physically.

Paiges words from weeks ago played on repeat in my head as I searched my room for something to hurt myself with.