#kawakami angst

[ilyareads]

short books recs (under 200 pages)

1. Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa

This book follows Sentaro, who runs a dorayaki stall, and his friendship with Tokue, who makes killer sweet bean paste. It is a heart-warming and endearing story that brings you comfort. I love the friendship between Sentaro and Tokue, especially seeing how it develops. The ending feels a little rushed. I kind of wished it was longer. Kind of sad. I cried. 10/10 would read again.

2. Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

The Funiculi Funicula cafe provides a time-traveling service, and the book, divided into four parts, retells different characters' experiences traveling in time. I always associate time-traveling with angst and regret, and this book has just that. I love how each part explores different relationship dynamics, so the time-traveling experience varies for each character. Very heart-warming, but very emotional as well. Cried a lot. It's a series but you don't have to read other books. But if you want more info on the cafe and the characters' backstory, then I highly recommend reading the other books.

3. Heaven by Mieko Kawakami

This book revolves around two students, who are victims of bullying. Due to their shared struggle, a friendship blossoms between them. The depiction of bullying and its impacts is raw and authentic, the story providing the perspectives of both the victims and the perpetrators. It was a rage-inducing but thought-provoking read.

4. The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa

This book follows Nana the cat as he embarks on a road-trip with his owner, Satoru. Now, cats are my absolute weakness. I love cats. I WOULD DIE FOR THEM. Which is why reading this book was hard and painful. The writing is witty, since it is written from the perspective of a cat. The plot itself is kind of predictable, but it doesn't make it any less painful. Tldr; Shredded my heart into pieces. Cried so hard, I couldn't breathe.

5. Almond by Won-Pyung Sohn

The story follows the main character, Yunjae, who suffers from a rare condition called Alexithymia that essentially makes him unable to feel emotions. Due to that, he couldn't understand social cues so people shun him. The development of the story centers on the people Yunjae are going to meet, and how his relationship with these people develops. The ending felt a little anticlimactic, but I loved it nonetheless.

6. Eartheater by Dolores Reyes

The unnamed protagonist can locate missing people and find out their fate by eating dirt, so people seek her to know the fate of their missing loved ones. It was definitely an interesting read, with elements of magical realism in relation to the protagonist's ability. It is also an intriguing depiction of femicide, a reflection of a system that continuously fails women. I felt rage for the women failed by the system and the sufferings they had to endure at the hands of hateful men.

7. A House is a Body by Shruti Swamy

This book is a collection of short stories, which is a raw and authentic depiction of what it is like being human. I enjoyed certain stories, while some left me utterly confused. The narratives are enticing and poetic, so despite some stories not hitting that hard, I enjoyed the writing.

8. The Vegetarian by Han Kang

After having a bizarre dream, Yeong-Hye declares that she is turning vegetarian, and this sudden change concerned her family. I made the mistake of thinking that this book is merely a depiction of what it's like to be a vegetarian. HELL NO. It utterly deviates from my expectation. I could only describe the book as bizarre and spooky, in an unconventional way. It depicts the complexity of the human mind when the contraint of societal expectations is disregarded.

[vex91]

TripleS Masterlist

(f) - fluff, (a) - angst, (af) - angst + fluff, (s) - smut

Kim Yooyeon:

Nothing yet...

Koma Mayu:

Nothing yet...

Zhou Xinyu:

Nothing yet...

Kim Nakyoung:

- I miss you, I'm sorry (a)

Park Sohyun:

Nothing yet...

Seo Dahyun:

Nothing yet...

Hsu Nien Tzu:

Nothing yet...

Yoon Seoyeon:

Nothing yet...

Ji Suhyeon:

Nothing yet...

Kamimoto Kotone:

Nothing yet...

Kim Chaeyeon:

Nothing yet...

Gong Yubin:

Nothing yet...

Lee Jiwoo:

Nothing yet...

Yamada Kaede:

Nothing yet...

Park Shion:

Nothing yet...

Kawakami Lynn:

Nothing yet...

Pirada Bunraksa:

Nothing yet...

Jeong Hyerin:

Nothing yet...

Kim Chaewon:

Nothing yet...

Jeong Hayeon:

Nothing yet...

Kim Soomin:

Nothing yet...

Kwak Yeonji:

Nothing yet...

OT22:

Nothing yet...

[emmersreads]

My Top 5 Best Books of 2023

Scrolling through bookstagram's endless reels of folks bemoaning the state of readerly types - new publications are disposable crap, everyone else is reading too much, etc - it might seem like 2023 was a terrible year for books. But, of all my longlists, this one was the longest, and the one I had the most trouble cutting down to only six. I read 119 books in 2023 (you can read my round-up of my five worst here), and here are my five favourites. Every single one of these books deserves to top your tbr for 2024.

Read the post on my blog!

Honourable Mention: Yellowface - R. F. Kuang

R.F. Kuang has figured out how to use irony and its a good look on her. Kuang’s political messaging is great — I particularly enjoyed her depiction of the publishing industry’s white fragility as deeply stupid — but we already knew that. I would expect nothing less from the author of Babel. The think that elevates Yellowface in particular is Kuang’s self-awareness in depicting Athena, the Asian writer whose novel the protagonist steals, as a talented literary wunderkind, but also as frustrating and not necessarily innocent in the problem of who is allow to tell ethically-loaded stories. I’m definitely looking forwards to her next project.

Fifth Place: Small Worlds - Caleb Azumah Nelson

This is the diverse romance novel you’ve been looking for. This is the inspiring hopepunk novel you’ve been looking for. This is the insightful and emotional coming-of-age novel you’ve been looking for. Small Worlds is all the more comforting and heart-warming because it is primarily about persistence and joy in the face of crushing personal failure and devastating systemic violence. Caleb Azumh Nelson’s motif of relationships in which both partners must break up in order to become the kind of people who can be in a long-term relationship with each other is a kind of romance arc I unexpectedly love. This entry in particular gets extra credit for its incredibly good audiobook adaptation. The audiobook is narrated by the author, whose southeast London accent and obvious emotional connection to novel make it the ideal way to read.

Fourth Place: Breasts and Eggs - Mieko Kawakami

After a couple of truly miserable memoirs this year I declared that I simply did not want to hear writers talk about motherhood. I spoke too soon because then I read this. Breasts and Eggs is in incredible reflection on being a woman that has something to offer if you love being a woman, if you hate it, or if you feel ambivalent about it. I don’t like children and can’t imagine ever wanting one — to the point that I find the endless angsting about the conflict between writing and motherhood faintly nauseating — but I found that this was the first book about being a mother that had something interesting to say even for people who never want to be mothers. Kawakami’s novel-in-translation has (for the anglophone reader) a sense of strangeness both in form and content. The book’s approach to gender and family is often intimately familiar, but just as often introduces a perspective that is deeply strange to a western reader, provoking us to think about our own assumptions about the importance of family. I particularly liked the scene in which protagonist Natsu visits a bath house and encounters a woman in a relationship with a trans man in the female section of the bath. Natsu struggles through a long thought process of whether she ought to be offended or not. Would she be similarly offended if she encountered cis lesbian PDA?

Third Place: Penance - Eliza Clark

For me, Penance was intensely personal, like looking back on my own teenagerhood. I also grew up as a deeply strange child, something that was immediately recognized by the other children. That feeling of somehow being a different species from other kids, not doing anything right and not understanding how it is wrong, is something that this novel absolutely nails. That might be a strange association for a true crime story about a horrible schoolgirl murder. This is the dramatic extension of what could happen to five people who were once very lonely little girls, and I think reading too much into the ‘how could they do something like this?’ of it all is missing the forest for the trees and playing into the true crime gaze that the book criticizes. Clark is interested both in true crime that dehumanizes its subject matter, and true crime the aspires to humanize and platform them. Is it any more ethical to demand access to someone’s life out of love?

Second Place: He Who Drowned the World - Shelley Parker-Chan

Shelley Parker-Chan’s The Radiant Emperor duology is the best queer fantasy series out there. Period. He Who Drowned the World takes its engagement with gender and sexuality to another level. At least for me, there is something much more meaningful and impactful to the theme of gender as something performed in spite of difficulties, distrust, and lack of acknowledgement. Parker-Chan understands that gender is often unpleasant or even hateful. This isn’t a book for a brave new utopia where every bra fits on the first try, it’s for the present, where the wrong bra gives you a fibrous lump. If She Who Became the Sun was Zhu embracing her gender, the sequel is about Ouyang’s often deeply upsetting ability to accept his. His hatred of any femininity, first and foremost his own, isn’t an easy read, but I found there was something incredibly resonant in it to my own ambivalent feelings towards femininity. No one else depicts self-hatred this well.

First Place: Chain-Gang All-Stars - Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah

As soon as I finished Chain-Gang All-Stars I knew it would be my book of the year. I read a lot of great books but this blew every single one of them out the water. It is Gladiator by way of The Shawshank Redemption by way of professional wrestling. It’s the scifi sequel to The New Jim Crow and Ava DuVernay’s 13th. It’s the best love story of the year. Chain-Gang All-Stars is an exploration of the humanity of inmates, who, in this world, are objectified both due to their involvement in the criminal justice system (as in ours) and from the gaze of sports and reality entertainment. It’s hard to decide which aspect of this book is most technically impressive. I usually don’t like when a political novel tries to comment on too many different issues, but this book deftly balances deep and effective discussions on a huge range of topics. I especially appreciated its engagement with an inmates’ personal feelings of guilt and culpability within a carceral system that doesn’t care at all about remediating the harm they have caused. This deft political messaging is combined with an insightful depiction of the ambivalent success of professional athletes, multidimensional characters, and a touching romance. My favourite part of the book was how effectively it traps the reader. I understand and agree with all the condemnations of the exploitation inherent to entertainment in watching primarily BIPOC athletes destroy their health (this is about wrestling but also boxing and American football), but I still found myself thinking about just how incredible this book would be as a TV series. The use of complicity as a theme is unparalleled.

[ao3feed-kiribaku]

all the lovers in the night

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/reimN84 by afraidofwhattheyllsay In the middle of the night Eijirou finds himself alone on the cold kitchen tiles, a bag of bones and man-meat, not believing that time can actually move.   ft. camomile tea and kiribaku hurt/comfort Words: 1291, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou Additional Tags: Soft Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou Needs a Hug, Depression, References to Depression, Probably ooc, Established Relationship, Insecure Kirishima Eijirou, Kirishima Eijirou is a Ray of Sunshine, Swearing, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Aged-Up Character(s), they graduated UA a couple years ago, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Protective Bakugou Katsuki, no beta and english is not my first language, KiriBaku - freeform, wtf is freeform though, tiniest littlest ref to mitski and disco elysium, bc i can’t get certain phrases out of my head, plus mieko kawakami’s novel all the lovers in the night read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/reimN84

[thebibleofdreams]

Finishied Persona 5 Royal, here are my very silly and all over the place thoughts:

10/10 game. Honestly the way the story developed was so cool, that the mystery unfolded for us at the same time as for joker was awsome and even though i knew some spoilers i was constally surprised with were the story was heading. It's impressing when the game is soo long! And obviously Marukis palace was a bit of a twist, but w it being extra material i'm fine with that even though it felt a bit out of place, aswell as Kasumis whole arc. My favorite palace was probably Saes or Shido, and least favorite might be Kamoshida because it was so aesthetically unpleasing, i didn't think it looked good.

Confidant wise i maxed out Ruyji, Yusuke, Makoto, Akechi, Maruki, Hifumi, Kawakami and Mishima. I didn't particualy enjoy Ruyji or Makotos confidant stories, i just found them a bit misplaced i guess, especially Makotos friends boyfriend problem, but it paid off in the end cuse i love them as characters! Akechis confidant was my favorite because i'm annoying lol, it was the drama of it all! The glove duel! I love him so much. But Yusukes was sweet as well. I'm sad that i didn't get further with Futaba and Haru, i got to level 7 with Futaba and i do really like them both, but because this was my first playthrough i think i wasted alot of time doing unimportant stuff. I'm also pissed off that i didn't get further with Sojiro! It took such a long time to up my kindness level and i became angelic the day before i met up with Maruki and my free days were over :') so annoying!

I dated Makoto this time, i thought i dated Kawakami but i accidentally called it off because i' stupid. In the end it all worked out cause with the chrismtas date and valentines date i really thought Makotos storyline was moving !

Worst parts were Okumaras boss battle which nearly made me go crazy lol oh my god it was so hard! I had to play easy mode after that which is a bit embarrising.

But yeah! Good game! Justice for Akechi and Jokers gay romance! I enjoyed the extra angst during Marukis palace but i wanted more of the star crossed lovers!

I'm gonna play persona 4 now :)

[crescentmoonteas]

How are Sumire and Haru linked to Madarame linked in this AU? Unless… *Flashbacks to Yusuke wanting to paint Ann nude* …Oh no.

haha no no you're okay!!! there is NO nude painting in the AU. we are all safe from 1. nude painting 2. maid Kawakami and 3. Studly Guy(TM)

Madarame is the first palace boss in the AU and he works at Shujin as an art teacher (he claims he works there and runs the art program for free as "charity work" while it's more like he's out there to keep Kobayakawa and Shujin under the AF's thumb while Kamoshida is king of Kosei lol) so naturally, Yusuke, who attends Shujin in the AU, is his star pupil.

Sumi's linked to him because she and Yusuke were friends in middle school! Yusuke was seen as the 'weird kid' while Sumi lived in her sister's shadow, so the two of them got on swimmingly. Yusuke would use Sumi as a model while she practised gymnastics and Sumi loved the fact that Yusuke didn't mind if her landing wasn't perfect etc etc

so seeing as Yusuke is a year older than Sumi he obviously went to high school before her and Madarame started trying to isolate Yusuke so he could more easily manipulate him, resulting in Madarame being like "oh Sumi was only using your talent so she could get famous. you don't need human friends Yusuke. you just need this brush also I need fifty copies of the Mona Lisa by Thursday, go go go" and forbade Yusuke from seeing her

(for bonus angst points: their friendship fills the trope of 'friend moves away/goes to new school and promises not to forget about them - subsequently forgets about them' 🙃)

as for Haru - I imagine it follows the same 'threat of expulsion' plot except Madarame finds out Yusuke is hanging out not just with Sumi but with THE NEW DELINQUENT STUDENT GASP SHOCK HORROR and when Yusuke stands up to him/calls him out on his terrible behaviour and forgery/discovers the truth behind the Sayuri, Madarame is like "oh, Yusuke, I thought you were better than this. guess you're all being expelled in 2 weeks or whatever. now everyone take a brush, I need thirty copies of American Gothic by 2pm"

[4kominato]

ART

◈ Happy Birthday! (chibi)

◈ Sitting (full body // Cherry Sweet)

WRITING

(M) ~ mature [contains explicit content]

◈   Cherry Sweet (M)

◈ Surprise of a Lifetime (M)

← back to second years

[pagsys-writings]

34. please don’t do this - NoriSawa? (Also heya Nico!!)

helloooo friend shocking you would send an angsty one with such a soft ship… imma do my best :)

He takes in the bags with wide, fearful eyes. Part of him doesn’t understand how it’s come to this, but there’s a whisper - a voice - at the back of his mind telling him this is no surprise. This has been weeks and maybe months in the making, but it still hurts.

“Nori…?” His voice comes out weaker than he intended and just a little bit broken. Nori keeps his back to him, but Eijun can see the way his shoulders sag in exhaustion. “Where... are you going?”

Finally, his boyfriend turns to him, but there’s so much sadness in his eyes that Eijun’s heart falls. He knows they’ve been distant lately. More than usual at least, but he really had thought they were going to be okay. But he knows that’s wrong. They’ve been fighting more often than not. The last over Nori staying late at work, which Eijun had been warned days in advance.

We’ve been falling apart.

Nori readjusts the strap of his duffel bag. He’s avoiding Eijun’s gaze and looking around their shared apartment. There are memories embedded in every nook and cranny, and Eijun knows that once Nori walks through that door the memories will haunt him with what could have been, should have been, and how they could have fixed it all.

“You know, Eijun,” Nori says just as quietly, but his voice is steadier than Eijun’s. He probably knows that at least one of them needs to be strong and Eijun’s always been one to let his emotions get the best of him. “We talked about this...”

Nori’s right. They have, but Eijun didn’t think it was going to happen so soon. “So... you’re leaving?” Eijun asks. “Now?” Nori nods. The silence that follows is deafening and it leaves Eijun with a sinking feeling. “Where will you go?”

“Shirasu is letting me stay at his place for a few nights until I find somewhere more permanent.” Eijun nods. “The lease here won’t be up until next month, so you’re welcome to stay like we discussed.” Again, Eijun nods. “I’ll come back later for everything else.”

He hates this. He hates this so, so much. He doesn’t want Nori to leave, but he can see in the other’s eyes that he’s made peace with this decision. A decision they both made. Before he can say anything else, Nori’s phone rings, sounding absurdly loud as it echoes through the silence. “That’s Shirasu,” Nori says without answering.

Eijun watches as Nori gathers his two suitcases. He turns and walks towards the door. “Please don’t do this,” Eijun whispers in a last ditch effort to make Nori stay. The only sign that suggests Nori heard him was the slight pause in his steps, and he still walks out the door. Alone in the silence, Eijun let’s the tears go as he falls to his knees. Where did we go wrong? He wonders as he chokes on his sobs.

[rayraywrites]

Heeeerrreeeee you go. #99 on the angst/fluff list for miyunori :)

Title: Misunderstandings can ruin everything

Pairing: Miyuki Kazuya x Kawakami Norifumi

Characters: Miyuki Kazuya, Kawakami Norifumi, Kuramochi Youichi (minor)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Total Word Count: 3523

Prompt: “I fell in love with you, not them.”

AO3

He could understood why Sawamura and Furuya enjoyed running so much. Not so much the exercise part, but the way his mind just shut down and all he could focus on was placing one foot in front of the other. Keeping his breathing down so that he wasn’t gasping. Moving his arms back and front to bring them into the action.

Keeping his mind off his problems. Or really, the problem that was currently asleep in his own room.

He’d pretended to be ignorant. Acting as if what he saw wasn’t real. Afterall, there was no way he was right...right?

There was no way that Nori didn’t love him anymore right?

He wouldn’t blame Nori if that was true, it made sense. He wasn’t anyone special, and with how mean he could get, who wouldn’t get angry. There would be people who would make Nori so much happier then he ever could.

But, he didn’t want to let him go. So, acting like the pitchers he despised, he ignored all the signs.

Ignored how Nori would flinch away from him in public, he was shy! Not that that had stopped him before...

Ignored how Nori wouldn’t even sit with him anymore for meals, always making excuses about homework. They were in the same class....

Ignored how Nori kept pushing Sawamura and Furuya towards him at practice. Even though even coach wanted him to work with Nori more....

Ignored when Nori decided he wanted to practice his batting more. By himself though...never with Kazuya...

Ignored it all. Even when his heart cried, his fist clenched till the nail marks no longer faded away, and his eyes shuttered blank...

He tamped all those feelings down and buried them as deep as he could. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d had to do that. He hid this pain among his feelings for his middle school teammates, among the not-casual shoves to the side or the less-than subtle comments. Afterall, ignoring him was at the same level wasn’t it?

So he ran, daily now to avoid bathing with Nori. If Nori didn’t want him, Kazuya wouldn’t stop anyone, even as it hurt him. He ran whenever there was a moment’s breath, or he batted. He only caught pitches when coach ordered him to, aching whenever he couldn’t even muster a look towards Nori. Nori who had already begun working with other catchers, who didn’t even give Kazuya a glance anymore.

So he didn’t reach towards Nori anymore. He kept even more distance between them.

He sat with Kuramochi for meals now, a scorebook propped up by his empty bowls as he ate blankly. Homework done alone was harder than he thought.

He practiced with Sawamura and Furuya now, even more then before. He couldn’t make eye contact with coach anymore.

His batting had improved, afterall an extra couple of hours every night of batting practice would help anyone right? The silence in the field during the late hours was deafening.

Slowly he managed to get his pain under control. He faked smirks, laughed louder than necessary, draped himself on Sawamura – the loudness masked everything, and hid himself. He knew that Kuramochi could tell something was wrong, but he said nothing. Kazuya had only the strength to make it from his room to practice and back.

He still didn’t know what he’d done wrong.

Eventually running was not enough; coach could tell something was wrong, and Kuramochi kept showing up to kick him back to bed. Snarking only worked when the other person was willing to put up with his waffling, and while Kuramochi was patient with Kazuya, there was only so far he’d go.

Slowing his speed down to a jog, he tried to figure out how to get Nori to talk to him. He didn’t want to force their relationship...he could never do that to Nori. Kazuya didn’t hold much respect for most people, but he wouldn’t let himself besmirch what they had had. But he wanted an explanation.

He still didn’t know what he’d done wrong.

Sighing, Kazuya walked back towards his jacket he’d dropped at the edge of the field. While running he couldn’t feel the chill, but now that he’d stopped, the sweat on his body rapidly cooled making him shiver. Pulling it on, he bent down once more to grab his keys and phone. Stuffing the keys into his pocket, he glanced down at his phone. It was late enough that no one should have been messaging him, but there was still a message from Kuramochi.

Quirking an eyebrow, Kazuya opened the text, and read the unexpected messages.

McSpeedy: Bakayuki, get to your room now. (12:55 am)

McSpeedy: I swear if you’re out running again I will try all my new moves out on you. (12:58 am)

It didn’t give him any clear explanation so he decided not to press it. Kazuya was going to head to his room anyway. Unlock the door and enter the silent room where he would proceed to simply lay on his bed and stare at the ceiling for another hour. Then he’d give up again and pull himself out of his bed towards his desk. Studying scorebooks would be at least a little better than wasting time not sleeping.

Still, maybe Kuramochi would tire him out that he’d be able to sleep a little tonight. He’d been using catching for the pitchers and running to try and exhaust himself enough to sleep but so far nothing had worked.

Making his way towards his room, he gazed up at the sky. It was a beautiful night, the stars shining brightly with no clouds maring their light. Even in the congested city that was Tokyo, for once it was a clear night. But instead of appreciating the tranquility of the night sky, all Kazuya thought about was the last time he’d seen a sky this beautiful. But that time, rather then holding his keys, his hand had been squeezing another’s. He could still remember the callouses on Nori’s hands, could feel how hard Nori worked to get where he’d gotten and even more, how hard he worked to become better. They’d been walking together for the brief moment of solitude they’d managed to find from the team. He didn’t remember what they’d spoken about, but he just remembered the joy in Nori’s eyes as he used his free hand to shyly gesture his thoughts out loud.

Kazuya remembered pulling them to a halt, forcing Nori to stop walking lest he fall over. He had pulled on Nori’s hand, closing the distance between the two of them, till he could press their foreheads together. He remembered the smile that had split across his own face when he realized that he could smell Nori’s shampoo from this close, and how it mingled with the slight smell of dirt that permeated all of them after playing baseball. It was just something so distinctly Nori, that all Kazuya wished he could do was bottle it and keep it forever.

Letting out a shaky breath, he watched as a blush unfurled on Nori’s cheeks and spread all over, till his face resembled the colour of a strawberry. Remembering the giddy laugh that had left his chest as he realized how much of an effect he had on Nori felt both painful and beautiful all at once.

Kazuya eventually pulled himself out of the memory, suppressing the temptation to go down that pathway again. He ignored the phantom sensation of lips pressing gently against his own, and a body that molded itself so perfectly with him that he hadn’t been able to remember where Kazuya began and Nori ended.

Maybe he really was a masochist, because all he could of now was Nori. After spending weeks trying to bury his pain, one simple look at the sky had ruined all his defenses. Nori really had ruined his ability to keep up his guard.

Finally making it to his room, he couldn’t see anything different on the outside, and pausing in front of the door gave away no sounds on the inside. Sighing at the thought that maybe Kuramochi had just been messing with him, he unlocked it. It was dark inside, and he couldn’t see very much in front of him. Within a minute or so his eyesight adjusted and he could see that while most of his room looked the same, there was one key difference. His bed was not empty, but occupied by one blanket-covered form that he would be able to recognize anywhere.

Treading softly, he crouched beside the bed, trying to keep the volume as low as possible. Kazuya knew that sleeping position, the way his body curled inwards as he slept, as if to protect his center, but also to hide himself from the world. Even with him curled under the blanket, Kazuya just knew. Raising a shaking hand, he gently tugged down the blanket to expose a bit more of Nori’s head.

When he could see Nori’s face, he found himself letting a fond sigh escape him. Even with all the hurt Nori had caused him, Kazuya couldn’t help but smile at the serene look on Nori’s face. It wasn’t as calm as it had used to be though. While sleep had wiped away many of the lines that were usually carved into Nori’s face, the bags under his eyes couldn’t be hidden. Nori looked as tired as Kazuya felt, and that hurt more than he thought it would. He could never wish for Nori to be in pain.

As if realizing that Kazuya was close to him, Nori slowly rolled closer towards the edge of the bed, his face unconsciously clearing the limits of the blanket to come near Kazuya. Swallowing the pain as much as possible, Kazuya raised his hand once more and laid it gently on Nori’s head. It had been weeks since he’d been able to touch Nori, and that showed. He was almost floored by how soft Nori’s hair was, and it took all his power to not groan loudly at the realization of what he’d lost.

He still wasn’t sure what Nori was doing in his bed, but he wasn’t sure he even wanted to ask. Surely questioning a dream meant it ended, right? So he allowed himself the chance to just bask in the presence of the one person he cared for above all else.

Sitting back from his crouch, he rested his head against the side of his bed, while his hand continued to card through Nori’s hair at a gentle pace. He was exhausted, and the sight of Nori, while making him happy, only further drove home how tired he truly was. The weight on his eyes continued to grow, and he found himself forcing back more yawns while his eyes drooped. Sleeping in the position he was sitting in would not help him in practice the next day, so he knew he should at least go crawl into the empty bed on the other side of the room. But he had no energy in his limbs, and he couldn’t bring up the motivation to move.

Just as he began to surrender his fight against morpheus, Kazuya felt a hand reach over to his face and rest against his head. Prying his eyes open as fast as he could, Kazuya slowly shifted his head up, blearily looking at the bed. When he finally managed to make his eyes function again, his glasses had become askew from being pressed against the bed, he could see that same beautiful red blush he remembered dusting across Nori’s cheeks. But more importantly, he could see that Nori’s eyes were open. Kazuya was mesmerized by the emotions he could see rapidly shifting in Nori’s eyes: sleep slowly waning away as he fully awoke, to then be replaced by fondness - was that fondness towards Kazuya?

But then came the panic and fear.

Stilling, Kazuya could only stare at Nori, unsure and scared at what was going to happen. The ball was in Nori’s mitt, and all Kazuya could do was wait till he pitched. Belatedly, he realized his hand was still buried in Nori’s hair, and immediately went to remove it. But Nori was faster and grabbed his wrist immediately to freeze his motion. Wide-eyed, Kazuya stared at Nori, glancing between the hand gripping his wrist tightly, and the hurt blooming in Nori’s eyes.

Flinching, Kazuya ripped his hand away, and moved himself away from the bed slightly. Grasping at the fabric of his pants to hide how much his hands were shaking, Kazuya struggled to say something, anything, even just a greeting.

Taking a deep breath, Kazuya tried to steady his nerves before forcing himself to speak. At a volume just barely above a whisper, he managed to get a few words out of his rapidly closing throat.

“Hey...Nori.” But he wasn’t really close enough to say that anymore was he? Backtracking quickly he managed to murmur the correction. “Oh...uh Kawakami. Sorry.”

Kazuya looked away, not wanting to see Nori’s face at his words. But, and he really hated himself for this, couldn’t help but sneak a glimpse of Nori’s reaction. Biting a lip at the pained air surrounding Nori, he sighed softly. Even now, he wanted to take care of Nori and fix all his problems. He could feel tears building behind his closed eyes, and when had that happened – when had he allowed his eyes to shut? Still, he fought off the tears, refusing to let them fall, especially in front of Nori.

Nori’s voice was hoarse with sleep and something else that Kazuya could not place. He watched as Nori’s body shook, as if trying to suppress tears himself.

“Kaz...”

Nori closed his eyes briefly, to gather energy Kazuya supposed. He was angry and hurt, but he didn’t want Nori to be hurt either. All Kazuya wanted now was answers, just so that they could move on from whatever they were.

Cutting Nori off before he could say anything, Kazuya ground out his question, desperate to hear an answer but also terrified of what it could be. “Why...what did I do that made...all this,” he waved a hand between them, gesturing to the space that had grown, “...happen?”

The longer Kazuya was forced to wait, the more he wanted to leave. To go run again for the rest of the night. Just to avoid the deafening silence in his room. He squeezed his eyes shut, quickly hiding behind his hand in order to mask any tears that would slip out of his control.

“The looks.”

Kazuya immediately opened his eyes, watching as Nori seemed to collect himself and respond. What looks? Looks to who? To him? Apparently Nori understood his confusion and continued speaking, his voice still husky from disuse.

“Sawamura...you kept looking at him at practice and always wanted to pitch for him. Furuya was always hounding you for pitches, and you only argued for the show. But me? You never even offered.” Nori’s eyes filled with tears, and unlike Kazuya he let them fall and roll down his cheeks. With a trembling voice, Nori continued. “You only looked at them, and they looked back at you. So I...gave you up. I only wanted you to be happy Kazuya.”

By that point, Kazuya was no longer able to pay attention. His body thrummed with barely controlled anger. He had never looked away from Nori, even in baseball – coach had kept pairing him with Sawamura and Furuya because he’d been getting distracted when catching for Nori. And yet, Nori didn’t tell him any of this...he just decided to act on it himself.

Keeping as tight a leash on his anger as he could, Kazuya managed to bite out a reply. “You’re an idiot.”

He could see Nori rear back in shock at his statement, but he couldn’t care less. Forcing himself into a standing position, he reached out and dragged Nori out of the bed by his hand. Pushing him against the wall, Kazuya boxed Nori in with his arms. Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he eventually managed to tamp down his annoyance. Sighing, he stepped in closer and rested his head on Nori’s shoulder, ignoring the jump that elicited nor the pain he felt at Nori’s response.

“Nori, you...you idiot. I never looked at them that way. Coach...coach wouldn’t let me catch for you as often once it got out that we were together.” Hearing the confused hum from Nori he pushed on, moving one hand to rub circles on Nori’s waist. “I kept getting distracted while catching for you. You have a beautiful form and he wasn’t sure I’d be able to stay focussed during practice.”

Pulling back slightly, Kazuya pressed their foreheads together, forcing Nori to maintain eye contact with him. “All you had to do was talk to me you idiot. I fell in love with you, you idiot. I didn’t fall for Sawamura or Furuya, and I certainly did not fall out of love with you.”

He could see the shock in Nori’s eyes fading slightly as he processed what Kazuya said. Deciding to give Nori the space to understand the situation, he went to step back but was halted by Nori reaching out to grab a fistful of his shirt. Looking down at the hand, he could see the strain Nori was under for the knuckles were white, but it was also shaking slightly. Removing the hand that had been resting on Nori’s hips, he brought it to Nori’s and began rubbing circles into the top of his hand. As Nori relaxed, the tension in his hand slowly vanished and the grip loosened. Kazuya didn’t move though, letting Nori decide the next move. He stayed silent as Nori tried to brush the tears off his face, and settle his shoulders from their shaking.

He waited, and gave Nori the time and space he needed. Eventually Nori managed to take a few breaths without having tears spill out. Kazuya smiled softly at the watery smile Nori gave him, but still didn’t move. He wanted to hear Nori’s response, because even if this all seemed to be a misunderstanding, it still hurt Kazuya. When Nori stepped closer to him, Kazuya froze, unsure as to what was going on. But all he did was wrap his arms around Kazuya’s waist, and press his face into Kazuya’s chest.

Hearing the muffled cries in his chest, Kazuya only sighed and lifted his arms to wrap around Nori. Running his fingers through the hair on the back of Nori’s head, he tried to soothe him. He could feel that Nori was speaking, but couldn’t hear anything beyond muffled noises, so he slowly pulled away to listen better.

“...I’m sorry Kazuya, I...I got jealous and I didn’t talk to you. And then I ignored you, and pushed you away. I’m so sorry, if you never want to speak to me again that’s fine, I deserve it.”

Seeing Nori work himself up so much over this almost made Kazuya smile, after all, it was such a standard response from Nori. He couldn’t help the tired chuckle that slipped from his mouth, which halted the frantic ramblings spilling out of Nori’s.

“Nori...I can’t say things are okay. Because they’re not. I...you should have known to speak to me if you were feeling this insecure...but I guess I can’t really say much about emotions either can I? But still...I want us to be okay, but we’re not. At least not yet.” Kazuya so badly wanted to pull Nori into his arms, and to finally be able to kiss him again. But he couldn’t. It had hurt him more then he’d expected, and he couldn’t just return to normal.

But, he could allow himself one thing. Stepping back from Nori, he reached down and held onto his right hand. Stroking the hand with his fingers, he lifted it close to his mouth and pressed a short kiss to each finger, and then the center of his palm. He could feel a blush growing on his cheeks, but ignored it as strongly as he could. “I love you Nori, and I love your pitching. We’ll get there. And I can’t wait for us to again.”

Seeing Nori blush once more, Kazuya was certain. Now all he had to do was slowly heal, and fall back in love all over again. And maybe convince coach to let him catch Nori’s pitches during practice a bit more. Surely as long as he ignored that it was Nori pitching, he’d be able to stay focused?

He groaned out loud when he realized something else, startling Nori. Squeezing Nori’s hand in apology, he dropped his head as he spoke. “I guess I owe Kuramochi a thanks too don’t I? He’s going to be insufferable...” But the joyful laugh that came from Nori was worth all the smugness he would have to deal with at practice.

[ao3feed-kiribaku]

all the lovers in the night

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Tbo0RHv by afraidofwhattheyllsay In the middle of the night Eijirou finds himself alone on the cold kitchen tiles, a bag of bones and man-meat, not believing that time can actually move.   ft. camomile tea and kiribaku hurt/comfort Words: 1291, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou Additional Tags: Soft Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou Needs a Hug, Depression, References to Depression, Probably ooc, Established Relationship, Insecure Kirishima Eijirou, Kirishima Eijirou is a Ray of Sunshine, Swearing, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Aged-Up Character(s), they graduated UA a couple years ago, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Protective Bakugou Katsuki, no beta and english is not my first language, KiriBaku - freeform, wtf is freeform though, tiniest littlest ref to mitski and disco elysium, bc i can’t get certain phrases out of my head, plus mieko kawakami’s novel all the lovers in the night read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Tbo0RHv

[fuckhellame]

I think it just makes sense to write a Bantaka fic inspired by songs, as music serves as the backbone of Bansai’s character design and his feelings towards Shinsuke. I did not find the right inspiration, though, until I stumbled back on one of my favorite Chinese dramas - The legend of Ruyi and immediately got attached to the opening song.

The work is based on a song named Incense Fleeting (沉香流年), performed by Lei Jia (雷佳). It means the fleetingness of love and reflects a story of a marriage that goes stale, a love that fades away, and one you once loved to the moon and back becomes the one you cannot bear to look at.

This is my first multichapter for Bantaka, and this is my first time writing them as a toxic relationship. Enjoy (or not).

[studies-of-the-soul]

Sadayo blinked and wiped away the tear stains from her cheek, relieved that Tatsuo took pity on her. The maid hung her head in her hands, feeling numb after all the crying and stress for today.

When Tatsuo returned with the water, Sadayo lifted her head up to really look at him after almost a decade of absence from each other’s lives.

‘God, he’s just as handsome as the last time I saw him… and here I am looking like a hot mess in a slutty maid uniform. This isn’t how I wanted my Friday to end! …wait, when did I last have a Friday just for me? If I only did-! ‘

The maid’s thoughts were interrupted when Tatsuo placed his hand on her head and started patting her. It was an odd motion, but a welcome one. Sadayo closed her eyes and leaned into his gentle touch, unconsciously wrapping her arms around him as she spoke softly.

“Tatsuo… I missed you.”

coffee-stains-and-migraines​:

Sadayo sniffled and dabbed the corners of eyes with her sleeve; her tears were starting to roll down and smear her makeup.

“Thank you, Tatsu… I honestly feel like if I rest now, I won’t be able to get up until tomorrow morning.”

She took off her headband and wiped her eyes again, feeling fatigue settle into every bone in her body.

“Tatsu? Can I… maybe, stay the night? I’m just really out of it right now, and I don’t want to go home like this..”

“I don’t blame you for not wanting to go out…But stay as long as you want.” 

Yeah, his assumption was right. She was crying– There’s this tightness in chest. Last time he saw Sadayo, she was crying, and now he meets up with her again… And she’s crying, again, because of him, just like last time. Maybe it would be better if he just kept his mouth shut for the rest of the night. Or maybe don’t pry into her private life. God feels like an asshole. 

He gets up from his seat and walks towards his kitchen, grabbing Sadayo a glass of water. She was going to need it…Tatsuo sets in front of her. Hesitant.. He brings a hand on the to her head, patting it in attempt to comfort her. The editor wasn’t the best at the best at this… But he hopes it gives her a little reassurance that it’s going to be okay. 

[lilac-5ky]

Hello! Can you write something for Takasugi where one of his soldiers tip him off that you’re a traitor ready to rat them out so he’s like so heart broken and betrayed. Takechi and Bansai believe the best way to get rid of traitors is by death and encourage Takasugi to do so but he’s like so conflicted but manages to confront you hoping that it’s all a lie. PLOT TWIST turns out the person who tipped takasugi off was actually the traitor but threw you under the bus because you were actually on to them being a traitor. (I’m so sorry this is so specific/too much but you being the best Takasugi writer Ik I feel like you’d do a really good job at writing this)

A/N: I couldn't wait to get to this specific request omg the idea excited me so much! Don't worry about it being too much, are you kidding me ahaha it's perfect! I love writing about Takasugi, I'd even write his personal shopping list if I was asked to, so really, don't worry about it. In fact, if you have anything else you'd like to see, by all means, be my guest! Uh, I hope this turned out good enough and finally, thank you sooooo so sooo much for your kind words!

A thorn among the roses ( Takasugi x Fem!Reader )

you can tell i went all out when i even edited it ^^

Warnings: blood, violence, torture, death? heavy angst too lmao

“Shinsuke-sama, this man demands to see you. He says it’s important, you should hear him out.” Matako’s voice made the three men, Takasugi Shinsuke, Kawakami Bansai and Takechi Henpeita, that is, turn around. Normally, no one dared to interrupt the three of them, especially when they were in the middle of a strategy meeting, Matako knew better than to let anyone in. However, for her to bring this man before them, the situation must have been rather dire.

“Thank you, Matako, you may go now.” Bansai was the first to react, the others studying the man’s expression carefully. Once the door was closed and the girl was out of sight, he walked to the center of the room.

“My name is Mizuno Yoshio. I’ve been serving the Kiheitai for the past two years, it’s an honor to formally meet you, Takasugi-san.” The man, Yoshio, exclaimed as he bowed his head in front of Takasugi, who in return, shook his head dismissively. Such formalities were nothing but unnecessary trivialities to him, even when he was worthy of such respect, being the leader of the Kiheitai.

“What brings you here today?” Takechi spoke, folding his arms before his chest.

“It’s about miss Y/N.” At the mention of your name, Takasugi’s ears perked up, Yoshio’s words being enough to draw his attention. Although neither you nor Takasugi had done as much as to reveal your relationship to the public, it was common knowledge within the Kiheitai ranks that the two of you were an item. For him to be speaking your name so freely, there had to be something important going on. “I’m afraid that miss Y/N has had dealings with the Bakufu behind our backs.”

“Are you certain of it? This is a serious accusation.” Bansai inquired.

“Yes, sir.”

“Can you support your claims?” Takasugi spoke for the first time, his voice quiet yet commanding. He knew better than to blindly vouch for the people around him, but when it came to you, how could he not? You had never given him a reason to doubt you or your allegiances, whether said allegiances lied with the Kiheitai or him, himself. As your partner, he would support you without second thought, however, as the leader of the Kiheitai, he couldn’t afford to dismiss this issue without examining it first.

“Yes, sir. These are some of the letters I managed to intercept. You will see for yourself that they bear her signature, as well as the signatures of at least three high ranking Bakufu officials. I risked my life to bring you these letters, I believe you will make the right decision-”

“Hand them over.” Cutting his sentence in half, Takasugi took a step forward, grabbing the pile of letters from within the man’s hands. Takechi and Bansai urged Yoshio to leave the room, while Takasugi moved towards the window, turning his back to the three men behind him.

Unfolding the first letter, his eye was quick to recognize your handwriting, the slightly cursive yet round letters extending throughout the page, all the way down to your signature. Going through the second letter and then the third letter, Takasugi kept reading through the pages, his eye frantically searching for a proof, one that would be enough to prove your innocence. Yet the more he looked at the letters, the more convinced he was, these letters were undoubtedly written by no other than you. Unless… unless the letters were forged. Although difficult, copying one’s handwriting wasn’t impossible. There was always a possibility that someone had dared to steal your private correspondences, studying your handwriting so meticulously that they had managed to recreate the perfect copy. Surely, that must be it.

However, when Takasugi was about to read the fourth letter, he noticed something that he hadn’t noticed while reading the previous three letters, something that was enough to force his eye to widen in horror. It… it couldn’t be. Leaning closer to the letters, he shook them before his face, catching a faint scent as he waved them around, a scent of roses, a scent that he had grown familiar to, a scent that belonged to you.

“Shinsuke? What do the letters say?” Bansai asked, moving closer to the man.

Takasugi was standing still, his fingers gripping at the letters, the pressure he applied enough to tear them apart. Even if he could claim that the letters had been forged, there was no denying that this sweet fragrance was unique to you. Countless of nights, he had spent by your side, basking himself in your delicious aroma while pressing you hard against his body. Countless of nights, he had let that scent lull him to sleep. It never mattered how turbulent life aboard was, as long as his nose picked up on your scent, he would always feel at peace. Yet now, for the first time in his life, he felt sick to his stomach as he held those letters.

Instead of answering Bansai, Takasugi passed the letters to him, eager to dispose them. Truth was, even when he had gone through each one of them, he had been unable to register any information while reading them. At the end, the content of these letters held little meaning to him at the moment, the only thing that truly mattered being the fact that you, the woman he had opened his heart to, had betrayed him.

After a while, sound returned to the room as Takechi and Bansai went through the letters together, gasps and murmurs flying between the two men. Although Takasugi stood right before them, his mind was elsewhere, his thoughts traveling to you. He wasn’t sure how to feel, if there was something he had to even feel, that was. It was as if someone had froze him in time, the only indication that he was still alive being the sound of his heart, a heavy and rampant ring he could feel through his ears. He was supposed to be furious, to be boiling with rage, yet the longer he stood there, the more he realized he felt none of these feelings, he felt nothing at all.

“Shinsuke… I’m afraid we can’t question the legitimacy of these letters.” Although direct, there was a hint of sympathy in Bansai’s words as he reached out to the raven haired man.

“What a shame… it truly is a shame that Y/N turned out to be a traitor. Such beauty, such potential going to waste, I feel deeply saddened.” Takechi exclaimed, pacing through the room in circles. “Bansai, will you do the honor of beheading lovely Y/N, or should I be the one to do so?”

“I’ll do it.” Takasugi’s voice caught the two men off guard, both turning to face him at once. “I’ll be the one to end it.” He went on, attaching his right hand onto the hilt of his sword, slowly dragging his feet towards the door.

“I’m sorry, Shinsuke.” Bansai’s words pierced through him, salt on an already open wound. It didn’t matter how sorry he felt. At the end of the day, the only one to carry the burden would be Takasugi himself, with, or without his sympathies. At the end of the day, he had a duty to perform, at the end of the day, his blade would be carrying yet another soul, only this time, that soul would be yours.

After exiting the conference room, many tried to reach out to him, yet the second they peered at his grim expression, they all stepped to the side. Everyone knew better than to disturb Takasugi Shinsuke, a man whose resemblance to a vengeful beast was uncanny, as he marched towards the deck of his ship. Soon, the salty air of the sea took over him, guiding him to the edge of the deck where he could be by himself, away from the prying eyes of others, his sole companion being his own thoughts.

He didn’t know where to start with, nor how to make sense of any of this. Every time he tried to piece the pieces together, every time he tried to solve the puzzle behind the situation, he found himself getting sucked further into the whirlpool of his own emotions. To say that he was heartbroken was an understatement. Many knew Takasugi to be a cold, calculating and even heartless man, but to you he had revealed a face not many knew. To you who loved him, he had shown his true colors, the kindness and gentleness of his soul, traits that were buried deep within him on his quest for revenge. While others saw him as a cold blooded murderer, you saw him as someone who was worthy of forgiveness and salvation, yet more importantly, worthy of your love. Every time he went to you, you would embrace him with open arms, a wonderfully warm smile that could melt through the thick ice of his exterior. Every time he returned to you drenched in the blood of others, his sword heavier than before, you asked no questions, always welcoming him home with the same sweet voice. No matter how broken and defeated he was, you were always there for him, his guiding light, the only light he cared to preserve and to protect.

It didn’t make any sense, it just didn’t, he thought to himself as he brushed his fingers through his damp hair. Memories begun to flood his brain while he gazed upon the still waters; the first time he saw you, a frail and meekly girl whose conviction burned so bright, enough to blind a man. The first time he kissed you, pressing his lips tight against yours without a warning, seeking to consume that light, to make it his own. The first time you slept with him, how small you looked squirming in between his arms, how beautiful you looked underneath the pale moonlight.

He remembers the way he’d always find solace in your body, there was nothing too important once he found himself resting between your thighs, your hands softly brushing over his hair so lovingly. Love… He could even remember the first time you told him that you loved him, so certain and so full of it. He remembered how cocky and brave you looked while saying so, how he, instead of saying it back, brushed it off completely, dismissing your words as childish, foolish even. In reality, he was scared back then. He was scared, not that you had fallen for such a cruel and vile man as himself, he was more scared about the fact that he was utterly and uncontrollably in love with you. Such a love could only taint and tarnish you, such a love came with the ultimate prize of destruction for both him and you.

Come to think of it, he had never let himself say those three words to you, not on that day, neither on the days to come. He had so many chances to say so, whenever he pulled you in for a kiss so unexpectedly, your chuckles fading inside his mouth every time, whenever you chanted his name so intimately, a sweet melody befalling his ears while he ravished your body. Even when he had let each of these chances slip, the truth remained the same. He loved you, more than he could say, more than he would dare to admit. His love felt like the sea, a riptide that could sweep lands, ravage everything and everyone, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake. A love that could cleanse him off the filth of his sins, a love so pure, something that he could never afford to taint. That’s how Takasugi loved you, carelessly and untamed, a love enough to both consume and drown him.

There was no reason for him to doubt you. The only memories he had of you were of pure happiness and joy. Even when he tried to hate you, even when he tried his best to feel betrayed, he found himself feeling nothing other than his love for you, an emotion enough to strangle him at the moment. How could he hate you, how could he be enraged at you when you had been the only source of happiness in his life? How could he do such a thing, but more importantly, how could you? How could you betray the Kiheitai, how could you betray his cause, how could you betray him and everything he ever stood for? How could you lie to him so effortlessly, how could you deceive someone who was as cautious as him?

The more he questioned himself all these questions, he ended up coming to the same conclusion over and over again; he was the only one to blame. He should have never allowed such a silly emotion as love cloud his judgment, he should have never thought he could find happiness of his own. It was all on him, you were his mistake, a mistake he had no choice but to erase.

When Takasugi raised his head for the first time in hours, the sun was gone from the sky, giving its place to a near hollow moon. Silence had befell the otherwise busy deck, no soul remaining on the platform other than him. With a sigh, Takasugi made up his mind. He had spent enough time mourning you, even when you were still alive, he had already said his goodbyes to you.

Clinging onto his sword, each step brought him closer to a fate that he could not escape anymore, closer to you. Once he stood outside your door, he considered knocking on it first but that’d be pointless. He wasn’t there to visit you, he was there to kill you.

Making his way inside your room, he found you sleeping on top of the covers, your hair cascading down your beautiful face, a sight that would otherwise be enough to make him smile. Yet as he stepped in, his guts begun to churn, the sickly scent of roses immediately rushing through his body, taking over his senses. The scent he had once associated with you managed to seep through his memories, tainting each and every one of them. Where there was once happiness, now there was sorrow. Where there was love, there was hatred, where there was you, there was betrayal.

Takasugi moved closer to you, kneeling by your side as he took in the form of you sleeping one final time. Hesitantly, he reached forward, his hand hovering over your face. A few strands of hair were concealing your features and if he was going to bid you farewell, he wanted to do so while staring at your face. Gently, he brushed them off, tucking them behind your ear while a sorrowful smile grew upon his lips. At the end, he had to be the one to destroy the most precious thing that was left for him.

“Sh-Shinsuke?” The hoarse sound of your voice caught him off guard. He hadn’t anticipated you waking up this easily, he had barely touched you. Even when you had been sleeping, the way you spoke his name was so familiar to him, another surge of sadness. Why are you doing this, Y/N? Why are you doing this to me… He had so many questions for you, yet he knew that no answer you could give him would end up mattering in the end.

“I guess it’s true what the say. There is no rose without thorns.”

“What are you talking ab-” Before you could finish your sentence, he was on top of you, his body pressing you down against the futon while he reached for his blade, unsheathing the sword with a single gesture.

“I thought you knew better than this, Y/N.” Although his voice was quiet, there was rage hidden in his tone, burning through his lungs as he pressed the cold steel onto your neck.

The sword felt no heavier than the atmosphere did. You had no idea what this was all about, why he was in your room in the middle of the night, why he was holding a sword against your throat and why his green eye was burning with fury.

“Shinsuke, please-”

“It’s pointless. No begging can save you now.” Although his words were harsh, you could tell that the emotion you had mistaken for rage was actually heartache. He didn’t look at you with the eyes of someone who wanted to kill, he looked at you with the eyes of a man in despair. You had no idea what had brought him to your room, yet you knew that if he went through with this, he was sure to regret it.

Before you could process things any further, your fingers curled around the base of his sword, the sharp edge cutting through your palm. Looking at the blood streaming down your skin, painting the silver with a vibrant crimson red, Takasugi seemed to waver momentarily, his eye widening as he caught a glimpse of what you were doing.

“It’s you that I’m trying to save!”

Although his expression hadn’t changed, the same resolve that had driven him to your room being there, you could tell that your words had shaken him. And how could they not? Even when you found yourself in the brink of death, the look on your face was so sympathetic, so full of love that he could not help but wonder, was he doing the right thing?

“I’ve been saved a long time ago. Even if you kill me here, it won’t change the fact that you were the one who saved me. But… if you go through with this, who will save you? I can’t let you be the one to kill me, Shinsuke.”

For a moment, he stops pressing down, his blade merely resting on your skin while he kept gazing into your eyes. Why was it that even now, you were more concerned about him than your own life? He could kill you so easily right now, he could slash through your pretty neck, watch the blood pour out of you, life fading from your eyes. His blade that had taken so many lives, his blade that had caused the demise of countless was so close to claiming yet another life, however this time, he knew it was different. Traitor or not, he’d never be able to forsake you so easily.

Silence.

You weren’t sure whether your words had gotten to him. Takasugi was blankly staring at you, as if he was contemplating with himself. Eventually he let out a drawn out sigh, one that was enough to make you hope again.

“I saw the letters.”

“What letters?”

“Quit playing games or…” He pressed harder onto the blade. One hitched breath and he’d cut right through you.

“I… I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You spoke in a low voice, trying your best to utter each word without getting cut. He sighed again, only this time, a hand reached through his yukata, pulling an assortment of letters out for you to see. Picking one of them, he shoved it onto your face, letting the others drop onto the floor.

“Signs can be forged, writings too. But scent? It can’t.” As he held onto the letter, your eyes frantically read through the words, trying to make sense of it. Scattered words were all you were able to register at the moment, the words Bakufu, meeting, along with your own name at the bottom of the letter being the ones to stand out the most.

However, once you heard Takasugi mention the scent, scattered pieces of a puzzle came to paint the perfect picture for you. It all made sense now.

“The bottle.”

“Hmm?” He inquired, removing the letter from your face, his blade falling back ever so slightly, giving you the chance to finally breathe properly.

“It’s the bottle, it’s full. I’ve been using the same bottle for over 5 months. It should have little left, right? Yet this morning when I entered the room, the bottle was nowhere in sight and the entire room smelled like roses. I didn’t think much of it considering I had been on the lookout all night long, however, once I came back, the bottle was right there, only this time it was full.”

Your words had managed to pick his interest, as Takasugi shifted his attention to your dresser. Come to think of it, the scent had been rather overbearing once he stepped in your room.

Looking at it intently, he was able to spot your perfume with ease, and for a second, he considered his choices. There was nowhere for you to run, and even if you tried to fight back, he would always be able to overpower you. There was also no reason for him not to check and so, he got off of you, his sword still in hand as he walked to the furniture. Picking it up, he shook the bottle around, toying with its lid between his figures.

You were right, it was filled to the brim.

Placing it back down onto the dresser, he was unable to hide a sneer. “Huh… that’s an interesting turn of events.” He exclaimed as he paced around the room. It was too soon to let his guard down, yet at the same time, a glimpse of hope appeared before him.

While he was processing the bottle, you had picked the letters up, carefully examining them one by one. Although you weren’t the one who had written them, the content of the letters was oddly familiar to you. The names of the bakufu officials, the locations and the times of the meetings… you were able to recognize each and every one of them because you had witnessed these events yourself.

“Where did you get these?” You asked Takasugi, waving the letters at him.

“That man, Mizuno Yoshio, delivered them to me.” The name was enough to make you gasp. It was a name you had grown to know fairly well in the previous days. After all, it was the name of the man whose trail you had been on for quite some time. “An acquaintance of yours?”

“You could say that… Shinsuke, that man is really dangerous. All these letters that you showed me, I know what they refer to. I was present when all these things happened and so was he. Mizuno is the mole, he has been selling intel to the Bakufu all along but I believe there is something more going on.” Takasugi walked closer to you, his eye keenly observing you as he took a seat next to you, sheathing his sword.

Taking it as a cue to go on, you leaned towards your nightstand, hands searching through the drawers until you managed to find a pile of pictures.

“Here.” You went on, pointing at a man in the middle. “This is him. And you see these men? They are the ones from the letters, magistrates along with some of Shogun’s informants. I first caught a whiff of what he was doing during our last mission when three Kiheitai members were ambushed. I didn’t think much of it at first but then I saw the way he looked at them… He was smiling, so full of pride, as if watching them on the ground was his greatest accomplishment.” Even thinking about that day was hard on you. If you weren’t cautious, you could have easily been the one to die in their place.

“And why am I only hearing about this now?” His voice was surprisingly quiet as he went through the pictures.

“Because I wanted to be sure. Because I wanted to have enough proof, because I wanted to find out the full extent of his plans. I was planning on telling you but you came to me first. These letters, I can see why you’d get the wrong idea. However, Shinsuke, I could never betray you even if I tried to. How could I when…”

Hesitantly, you reached out to him, your hand cupping his cheek softly, forcing him to turn to you. The fire in his eye appeared to be extinguished as he looked at you, a softer yet stiff expression carved on his features. He believed you, yet all the tension was still there, delving within him.

“How could I betray you when my heart belongs to you?”

He smiled at your words, a gentle smile, as he closed his eye, finding comfort in your touch. That’s right, this was Takasugi Shinsuke, the man you were so hopelessly in love with. Even when minutes ago, he had attempted to take your own life, there he was, a man whose kind expression never failed to amaze you. No matter how hurt or enraged he was, he’d always find his way back to you, his safe haven.

While the two of you shared a moment of silence, you noticed a stream of bright red running down your knuckles. That’s right, you had cut yourself earlier at his blade. Considering how you had been on the edge all along, you didn’t even have the time to look at your own wound. At once, you pulled your hand away from him, having smeared blood all over his right cheek.

“I’m sorry, I-”

Before you could go on, he reached forward, taking hold of your injured hand. He brought it closer to his face, inspecting it closely. Even when you were the one who mindlessly grabbed onto his sword, it was his fault in the first place that you had ended up like this.

As he held onto you, his thumb rubbing circles along the lines of your palm, his other hand crept up his hair. Slowly, he begun to unfold his bandage, rolling it around his fingers as he unveiled the left side of his face. You weren’t sure what he was doing, yet you looked at him almost bewitched. The sight of his bare face was so beautiful, enough to make your heart skip a beat.

Once the bandage was off, he lifted your hand, carefully lapping the soft material over your injury. You were doing your best not to wince, the pressure he applied onto your wound sending jolts of pain through your body. The cut was quite deep, running along the length of your palm. Unless you had someone see it, there was a big chance you’d be left with a scar. Still, the way he so lovingly took care of you was enough to erase all pain and worry from your face, your eyes watching intently as he brought your hand to his face. Parting his lips, he pulled onto the bandage with his teeth, securing a knot on top your knuckles.

“I know.” Takasugi said eventually, tracing his finger over your skin a couple of times before getting up, his sword in hand.

“Where are you going?” You asked him although you already knew the answer.

He kept walking towards the door, stopping right in front of it before turning to face you one final time.

“To cut some thorns."

The first thing Takasugi noticed upon exiting the room, was the glimmer of his own reflection in the door. His form was blurred out, a flurry of purple and red melding with the light gray of the metal. Although he hadn’t anticipated the course of events that unfolded in your room, the way your blood was now adorning both his sword and face, was rather convenient. As far as everyone was concerned, the job was done, his appearance being enough evidence.

It was late, and most of the crew members were already asleep. There was no reason for him to play charades tonight, yet somehow he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. Traitors were quick to act, and if all you’d disclosed to him was correct, then that man would surely be watching him from up close.

Taking the long way back to his room, Takasugi made sure to take a long stroll inside his ship, passing by each and every hallway before finally making his way to the deck. If anyone was awake, they were sure to notice the blood, your blood. The more witnesses he could get, the better.

Although it was faint, he could hear the sound of footsteps echoing in the background, a reverberation of his own steps. He was there, no doubt, a predator stalking his prey, yet little did he know that he was the one being hunted.

Once he reached the door to the deck, Takasugi pushed it open. If he kept on going, the man was sure to follow, however that wasn’t what he wanted. Unless he had an open confrontation with him, he’d keep on watching him from afar, just like he’d been doing all along.

He moved behind the now closed door, keeping himself hidden from public view. If the man wanted to see him, he’d have to reveal himself in the open and that was exactly what Takasugi sought him to do.

Surely enough, the man pushed the door open, taking step after step while looking around. The second Takasugi set his eyes on the man, he felt that very same rage he had felt earlier surging through him, yet this time, he had no reason to hold back, this time he was going to finish it. The one who dared to go against him, who dared to even try making a fool out of him, was going to pay.

“T-Takasugi, sir!” The man frantically uttered as Takasugi slipped out of the shadows.

“Mizuno Yoshio, was it?”

“Yes, sir! I’m honored that you remember me.” He went on with the same enthusiasm he had shown this morning. Rather than answering him, Takasugi nodded in acknowledgment, gritting his own teeth. Part of him wanted to deal with him right away, yet that’d be too kind of him, a quick death, that was.

“Sir? I don’t mean to pry but… I’m so sorry…” Mizuno said, nodding towards Takasugi’s sword. He had bought into the lie.

“Hmm? Why would you be sorry for?” For betraying the Kiheitai? For betraying him? Or for framing you for his crimes? Which one was it?

“Miss Y/N was my team’s captain, perhaps I shouldn’t have-”

“You did your job and I did mine. Save your pity for someone else.” Takasugi said in a rather hostile tone. The performance was far from being over, yet the way he spoke like that about you was enough to agitate him. “Walk with me.”

“Y-yes, sir!” Mizuno was quick to accept his proposal, the two of them walking along the rails of the ship, slowly making their way towards the top of the deck.

It was a quiet night; the wind had ceased to howl, while the still waters resembled an ebony shaded blanket, one that had enveloped the ship. The silence was rather eerie as the two men looked into the distance, Takasugi contemplating his choices while Mizuno closely observed him.

“What made you join the Kiheitai?” The reason why didn’t matter much to him, however a part of him couldn’t help but be curious. Was he acting as a mole all along, or had he switched sides at some point along the way?

“Because I wanted to restore Edo to its former glory.”

“Former glory you say.” Takasugi couldn’t help but scoff at his words. “Then you should have joined Katsura, he is the only one with such delusions.”

“B-because I…I…” He was trying hard to come up with an appropriate answer, one that would be convincing enough. “Because I want to destroy the Bakufu! Only capable men should reign above others.”

“Oh?” That was more like it. “Then perhaps, you consider yourself more capable than them?”

“Sir, I could never-”

“Don’t tell me you have no such ambitions, a character of integrity like yourself.”

“Well, If I may impose then… of course I do.” Even when Takasugi was humoring him, Mizuno seemed rather clueless about it. If anything, he thought that his ability was getting praised.

Takasugi chuckled softly at his words. Of course a traitor like him held himself in high esteem. “That’s more like it. Ambitions are good to have… however, someone who wishes to achieve anything, must be prepared to lose everything too, don’t you think?”

“I… I’m not sure I understand, sir.”

“Everything comes at a price in this life, even people. The only ones without one, are those who can afford to pay themselves. I wonder what you consider your own worth to be.”

“I’m afraid I’m still not following-”

“Oh? Then by all means, let me make myself clear,” Takasugi said, walking closer to Mizuno. “Is the price of your allegiance higher than a Bakufu official can afford?” He went on, a smirk widening upon his lips, while he spoke. “No, it can’t be. Those filthy dogs had always been rather generous with their offers when it came to my head.”

“Takasugi, what’s that supposed to mean?” At last, he was revealing his true colors. All those excessive mannerisms and formalities were gone in an instant, once he finally begun to realize, that this innocent walk had been nothing more than a trap, one he had fallen head first into.

Still, he wasn’t going to give up so easily. Slowly, he moved his right hand to his side, attempting to unsheathe his own sword, while masking his movements with an awkward chuckle. He had no chance against Takasugi in an actual dual, but if he managed to surprise him then there was a chance he could survive unscathed.

“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now, does it? You won’t be able to reap the rewards either way.”

Before Mizuno could do as much as grip his fingers around the hilt, Takasugi brought his own sword forth, cutting through the man’s hand in a singular swift movement. At once, blood begun to spew from his wound like a fountain, his ugly cries echoing through the deck, as he stumbled backwards.

Takasugi took a step forward, his green hue glimmering through the darkness of the night, along with his sinister smile. Although he didn’t find that much joy in torturing or killing others himself, for once, he was going to savor every minute of it. Mizuno wasn’t the first or the last who’d tried to betray he Kiheitai, yet the second he mixed it up with you, he had signed his own death warrant.

With each step he took closer to Mizuno, the man took a step backwards, the two of them waltzing in a lethal dance until the latter’s back hit the railing. There was nowhere left to run anymore. Soon enough, the man begun to beg, incoherent slurs mixed with his own shrieks of pain. How very pathetic.

“My, my, isn’t it a bit too late to be begging for your own life? It can’t be helped I guess, rats only know how to squeak in the end.”

There was no getting out of this, Mizuno knew that better than anyone. Still, he pressed on with all he had, his left hand traveling to the sword around his waist, but once again, Takasugi was faster. Lowering his sword, he slashed the man’s ankles, forcing him onto his knees, while Mizuno’s sword landed just outside his reach.

“Don’t even think of picking that dull blade of yours up. Someone like you doesn’t deserve an honorable death.”

At the sound of his words, Mizuno growled. The pain was tearing through his body, bringing him closer to his own demise. If only he could reach that sword…

Despite Takasugi’s warnings, the man kept trying to fight back, crawling onto all four, dragging himself as best as he could near his blade. Takasugi let him reach it, tilting his head in amusement as he watched the man.

“Still thinking of yourself as worthy? I wonder what your Bakufu friends would think if they saw you like that,” Takasugi exclaimed, dragging his feet across the floor until he stood next to the man’s hand.

His fingers had barely managed to get hold of the sword’s hilt, when Takasugi lowered his foot on top of the man’s knuckles, pressing down against them. Mizuno was out of his mind now, the excruciating pain forcing him to cry out loud as he wiggled his body, desperate attempts to break free.

“The man who thought he could bring Takasugi Shinsuke,” -he shook his head dismissively- “no, the man who thought he could bring the Kiheitai down. So pathetic and useless, so utterly… worthless,” he added, applying more pressure onto the man’s fingers one by one, crack after crack bringing Mizuno to tears. Even while he did so, the tone of his voice remained collected and focused.

“Tell me, how capable are you now?” Takasugi kept on talking, manically stomping on his hand again and again, leaving no bone unbroken. No matter how much pain he caused him, it still wasn’t enough to make him atone.

“You…you…” Mizuno tried to speak, his voice a barely audible whisper. “You bastard, you are going to regret this, all of you, all of you will pay-”

Before Mizuno cut finish his own sentence, Takasugi brought his sword down again, relieving him from all pain. With a final blow, he cut through the man’s head, sending it to spiral down the deck and into depths of the sea. In return, his lifeless body fell onto the ground, a crimson pool spreading around him. It was finally over.

“I’m afraid this isn’t a place for rats to be dancing around.” Takasugi said before sheathing his sword.

Peering down at Mizuno, or rather what was left of him, Takasugi was unable to feel any satisfaction, his grin fading away. The fact that someone like him had risen through the ranks of Kiheitai, brought him great displeasure. If there was one, there are bound to be others. Even in his own ship, he knew better than to trust others, yet he had gone as far as to doubt the one person whose allegiance should not be doubted; you. To think that because of this scum he’d turn wary of you, that because of this scum he had nearly claimed your life…

It was at times like this that he wished he could just stop, that everything would stop. This war that he had waged against the world, a war that had started within himself years ago, one that had been gnawing at his insides all along. He was tired of it all, tired of fighting, tired of claiming lives, tired of being the person everyone looked up to. For once, he just wished to be someone who could trust others, someone who could afford to be naive, someone who could afford to blindly trust you.

He had preached to that man all about the worth of people, yet he, himself, wasn’t any better. He wasn’t worthy of being alive and he sure as hell wasn’t worthy of you. No matter how hard you tried to tag along on his path of destruction, at the end of the day, he was on his own. He was the one who had to deal with situations like this, he was the one who didn’t hesitate to raise his blade against you, no questions asked. Mizuno may have been a traitor, but in his eyes, the biggest traitor had been no other than himself.

After a while of contemplating to himself, he realized he had enough. Nothing good came out of guilt tripping, he had to pull himself together. Soon, a new day would begin, it was about time that he stopped giving meaning to meaningless things. Besides, now that everything had been settled, fatigue begun to kick in. Today had been rather eventful and for once, he longed for some rest.

Before he was aware of it, his feet begun moving on their own, leading him back inside the ship. Perhaps he could allow himself to be greedy once more.

It had been hours since Takasugi had visited your room. Rather than sleeping, you had found yourself pacing through your room in anticipation. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust in his skill or judgment, yet when you considered how Mizuno had fooled everyone, you couldn’t help but worry a bit. People like him had many tricks up their sleeves, there was no thing such as being too careful.

Part of you wanted to go outside, to look for him, yet you knew that he wouldn’t appreciate you getting yourself further involved. That was simply the way he was, always handling things on his own. Whether said things concerned you or whether they were too much to handle, he never let you share his burden. He never complained, always keeping to himself about everything. You wanted to help him more than anything, yet sometimes, the only thing you could do was to just be there for him, to give him a place he could always return to.

Soon enough, the door opened and Takasugi appeared before you. His features bared an expression of utter exhaustion, his eyelid half shut as he greeted you. Much to your relief, even though his clothes were adorned with blood stains, he appeared to be unscathed. He didn’t need to say a word for you to understand. It was over.

Instinctively, you rushed to him, throwing your arms around his waist. It didn’t matter that he was covered in blood or that he had tried to kill you hours ago. All that mattered was that he was there with you, that he was safe.

You placed your head on top of his shoulder, shutting your eyes. In return, you felt his hand gently trailing down the small of your back, returning the embrace. He needed this as much as you did, if not more. Even when you had been the one to almost die, it had been equally hard on him. Even if he didn’t say it, even if he didn’t show it, you knew it. You understood him perfectly.

“Welcome home.” You whispered softly into his ear, before pulling away, your arms still hanging loosely around his body.

For a second, the two of you stood still, while he took in the image of you. He looked nearly apologetic while doing so, his lips shaped in yet another sorrowful smile, contrasting your own joyful expression. This was the look he was longing to see all day long. He never said it out loud for you to hear, yet the way you always smiled so warmly at him, was all he ever wanted, all he ever needed to feel at peace, to feel home. A smile so radiant and warm, one that could dissipate all of his crimes and sins into nothingness. Perhaps he wasn’t worthy of it, but even so, he would always indulge into it, he would always indulge into you.

It wasn’t clear to you which one of you had taken initiative, yet it didn’t take long for the two of you to be found in each other’s embrace again, only this time your bodies were sprawled on top of the covers of your futon. He hadn’t said a word to you ever since he had entered the room, yet the way he held onto you spoke volumes. Your body was pressed tight against his, your back falling onto his chest while his head nested in your hair, his steady breath tingling the nape of your neck softly. You found comfort in his embrace, a quiet form of intimacy that was meant for you only.

Takasugi kept his arm around your waist, his hand applying more pressure from time to time. He held onto you tightly, as if by doing so he was making sure you wouldn’t slip under his fingertips. It felt warm and safe, and soon enough, you found yourself drifting off. He kept awake until he couldn’t keep at it anymore, the familiar scent of roses lulling him to sleep, welcoming and sweet as ever.

[miyuwuki]

daiya masterlist ★彡

sawamura eijun:

bed buff (fluff)

lights, camera, action (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

shy shy shy (fluff)

my sweet kouhai (fluff)

lucky charms (fluff)

klutz (fluff)

tease (fluff)

unplanned pregnancy (fluff)

sawamura’s older sister hc’s

when you’re crying (angst, fluff)

kominato haruichi

bed buff (fluff)

kominato’s middle child (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

furuya satoru

bed buff (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

klutz (fluff)

my sweet kouhai (fluff)

when you’re crying (angst, fluff)

comforting bedtime cuddles (fluff)

miyuki kazuya

miyuki kazuya hc’s

miyuki kazuya hc’s (smut)

cookie monster (fluff)

oh, have the tables have turned (fluff)

prioritizing happiness (angst)

prioritizing happiness pt. 2 (slight angst, fluff)

miyuki’s older sister hc’s (fluff)

miyuki’s younger sister hc’s (fluff)

heavy sleeper (fluff)

new look (fluff)

mini captain (fluff)

my two in one (fluff)

make up, make out (slight angst, nsfw)

turn on’s and turn off’s (slight nsfw)

happy birthday, mom! (fluff)

pretty boy sensitive (nsfw)

pretty boy sensitive pt. 2 (nsfw)

mine forever (fluff)

caught! (fluff)

sike (fluff)

miyuki’s daughter (fluff)

lights, camera, action (fluff)

mother’s custody (fluff)

my sweet kouhai (fluff, suggestive nsfw)

shy shy shy (fluff)

lucky charms (fluff)

klutz (fluff)

tease (fluff)

heedful (slight nsfw, fluff)

distance won’t stop us (slight angst, fluff)

unplanned pregnancy (fluff)

when they’re a volleyball player (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

in my mind (fluff)

long time, no see (slight angst, slight nsfw, fluff)

permanent (fluff)

back on your feet, right by your side (slight angst, fluff)

when they get injured (vball); fluff

inflicted jealousy (fluff)

caught making out in the janitor’s closet (fluff)

your son interrupting an interview (fluff)

telling him you’re nonbinary (slight angst, fluff)

when you’re crying (angst, fluff)

protective (fluff)

kuramochi youichi

kuramochi youichi hc’s (smut)

new look (fluff)

bed buff (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

telling him you’re nonbinary (slight angst, fluff)

comforting bedtime cuddles (fluff)

pocky game (fluff)

kawakami norifumi

bed buff (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

narumiya mei

heavy sleeper (fluff)

turn on’s and turn off’s (slight nsfw)

shy shy shy (fluff)

my sweet kouhai (fluff)

prince on the field (fluff)

replacing mei with pillows (fluff)

yuki tetsuya

bed buff (fluff)

klutz (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

kominato ryousuke

bed buff (fluff)

kominato’s middle child (fluff)

shy shy shy (fluff)

lucky charms (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

inflicted jealousy (fluff)

takigawa chris yuu

lucky charms (fluff)

klutz (fluff)

dressing up (fashion board)

okumura koushu

dressing up (fashion board)

yuki masashi

dressing up (fashion board)

yui kaoru

dressing up (fashion board)

todoroki raichi

shy shy shy (fluff)

kataoka tesshin

the parents of seido (fluff)

boss’ daughter (fluff)

shirakawa katsuyuki

poly relationship with shirakawa and carlos (fluff)

kamiya carlos toshiki

poly relationship with shirakawa and carlos (fluff)

itsuki tadano

comforting bedtime cuddles (fluff)

[moririki]

↷ 📦 ↶ MORI'S 100 FOLLOWERS EVENT!

heya!!! so recently i've hit the milestone of 100 followers, and i'd just like to say thank you so much! i'm so honoured that i've reached this so quick and i'm glad that you guys like the stuff i write :))

so uh. i have decided to celebrate it! with a prompt list. hopefully this doesn't flop (if it does let's just pretend i never posted this lmao) and yeah that's about it. there's a few rules n stuff, but other than that happy requesting! and once again, thank you guys so much i love you all <33333

UPDATE: tHank you so much to the ppl who requested!!! i had so much fun with this event and i'll be sure to do more in the future!

(THIS EVENT IS NOW CLOSED)

⊱┊RULES!

i. i intend to have a deadline for the event (though nothing's set in stone) so try to send a request before july 23rd if you want to participate in the event! please note that this prompt list can still be used after the event finishes, though requests will not be prioritised

ii. unfortunately, current series (kiss list) and outstanding requests will have to be put on hold, as the event will take priority

iii. the regular rules for the content that i write still apply to this event, and i will only write for characters that are found on my masterlist however, my understanding of the characters that i write for are of varying levels so i can't guarantee that everything i write will be of the same quality

iv. regular requests are still open while the event takes place if you want to stick to a more traditional format however, these will not be prioritised by me and will most likely not be written until i finish the requests from this event

v. you can request as many times as you want with as many characters as you want drabbles & preferences are welcome! please keep this character x reader, though

vi. if you want your request to be a specific genre (smut, angst, fluff etc) please make that clear when you request

vii. nsfw content is permitted in this event, so take care if you do not wish to see it and let me know in your request if you are against it being used as a smut prompt all nsfw content will be tagged as such, and will have a read more tag

viii. when making a requests, just send me a number and a character then i will do my thing >:) to make things easier for me please do fill out these criteria, and any other details that you may want included

⊱┊PROMPTS!

"i won't let you do this alone"

"let me bandage you up"

"come here, i'll carry you"

"is something wrong?"

"stay with me"

"hold me. please"

"you're the first person i think about when i wake up"

"i would go anywhere with you"

"no one has ever made me feel like this"

"i missed you... a lot"

"come back soon"

"i'll never forget you"

"you're overworking yourself... please take a break"

"i didn't make you uncomfortable, did i?"

"what happened to you?!"

"i'm sorry"

"i love waking up next to you"

"we can look out for each other"

"you don't have to pay me back"

"can i give you a hug? you look upset"

"i'm yours"

"how much did you drink?"

"i asked if you were having a party. i didn't tell you to have a party"

"this is the opposite of what i told you to do"

"how did you get in here?"

"you owe me a kiss"

"that's not even fair"

"why don't you take a picture? it'll last longer"

"detention? again?"

"why don't you just go?"

"it doesn't matter any more"

"don't lie to me"

"why do you keep bringing it up?"

"maybe in another world"

"i can't do anything right"

"nobody's seen you in days"

"why are you awake?"

"i told you not to fall in love with me"

"is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

"i think you might be my soulmate"

"sleep over? please?"

"are we on a date right now?"

"quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

"could you please.... oh, i don't know, maybe put a shirt on?"

"aren't we supposed to be working?"

"i'm telling you, i'm haunted"

"what do you mean they're my new partner? they tried to kill me last week!"

"i could punch you right now"

"i'll feel much better if you let me walk you home"

"apparently, all of our friends have a bet going that we'll end up together"

"i don't know how to exist in a world without you"

"i don't know who you are any more"

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it!"

"seeing you between my legs is so hot"

"the noises you make are incredible"

"bite your lips once more, i dare you"

"god i love your hands" "let's put them to good use, then"

"i know you can be louder than that"

"never trust a man whose smile steals the breath from your lungs"

"sorry, is that supposed to impress me?"

⊱┊THIS EVENT'S WORKS!

pushing the limits - tsukishima kei

a bloodstained confession - rengoku kyojuro

a moment of vulnerability - miyuki kazuya

beautiful boy - kawakami norifumi

more than you'd bargain for - denji

a devil, then a man - denji

a giver - denji

beyond words - inumaki toge

finish what you started - miyuki kazuya

observant, as always - miyuki kazuya

take a look at the menu - ,, 📦 ·˚ ༘ ꒱