#kaleidescope of death

[strangesheelf]

Ruan Baijie, who was dressed in her pajamas and was sprawled on top of the beddings, wriggled and whined, “Qiushi, it’s so cold, ah.” Lin Qiushi was still in the process of scrutinizing the curtains. He didn’t turn his head around after hearing her complaint. “Wear more clothes if you’re cold.” Ruan Baijie: “… You don’t have a girlfriend, do you?” Lin Qiushi was utterly baffled. “Girlfriend? Why do I need a girlfriend?”

Kaleidoscope of Death, Xi Zixu

Chapter 3

[realbeijinger]

Playing Door God: I wrote a Kaleidoscope of Death Fic!

“What would he think of me? It’s the question that’s been playing on repeat, plaguing him for the past week—like a ghost who’s found his weakness, refusing to let him go."

Ruan Nanzhu must come to terms with the fact that he’s not who he thought he was, and face Lin Qiushi when he inevitably finds out. A deleted scene of sorts at the end of the novel.

I had fun writing this, since I just love Ruan Nanzhu ❤

Read on Ao3:

[mejomonster]

Okay so clearly I need danmei recs that are enemies to lovers or at least "mutually suspect each other" to lovers. I like the slow burn it creates, the suspense that their developing crush might be on the enemy/bad guy, that sort of thing. I think that's part of why I like Silent Reading Zhoudu (the possibility of Fei Du actually plotting crimes is delicious and i Eat Up that dynamic), Guardian Weilan (they're both feeling each other out and investigating), 2ha (Mo Ran starts the novel right off with: I died for this man but I also HATE him and that's a very intriguing hook for me)

So any other danmei that have this in the dynamic?

[mononijikayu]

us and them

genmei purses her lips into caged line, the cold winter air dancing against the cigarette smoke. gojo satoru looks at her, as though wondering what mysteries he has yet to know about her. as though he wonders, what truth he still wants out of her. about the us and the them. about the woman in the picture, about the woman wrapping her arms like a spider's web into the arms of zenin genmei.

GENRE: jujutsu high school (hidden inventory arc / premature death arc to the main plot);

WARNING/S: domesticity, fluff, angst, trauma, implied death, violence, romance, hurt/comfort, character death depiction of death, depictions of loss and depression, depiction of anxiety, mention of death, mention of grief, profanity, family drama;

NOTE: genmei is the oc's name but to make it a bit more, genmei is going to be referred to with she/her and her name!!! this is to hold cohesiveness in the main story as you as her/she in the story, will be genmei!!!

and with the side stories i'm adding, they will be written in a different format, as to be the stories that don't make the cut. they'll be written from you/your narrative as you will be genmei, our oc, as the reader!!!

i don't want to be the story to be exclusively focused on restricting readers!!! there's something for everyone in us and them — whether as part of the main story or as part of the long drabbles thst can be read as stand alone side stories i can't put in the main story!!!

either way, i hope everyone enjoys!!! 🥰🙏

masterlist

⸻ from u s and t h e m

[prologue] ─ monster like me. [chapter i] ─ present. [chapter ii] ─ 4 o' clock. [ chapter iii ] ─ family line.

⸻ life in between u s and t h e m

i. already gone. ii. i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you. iii. the good life is just ahead of us. iv. go on caring for me.

v. beautiful boy (darling boy).

vi. i can't get enough of you in my hands. vii. slipping through my fingers. viii. all that i am, when i'm around you. ix. a life, a sparkle in your eyes/heaven coming through. x. if i am with you. xi. i blinked and suddenly, i had a valentine.

xii. what's your type?

xiii. dearest, darling, my universe. xiv. don't look back in anger. xv. marutsuke. xvi. i have love and dreams too. xvii. loml.

xviii. and love is a kaleidescope.

xix. honeymoon

[speaker-of-the-void-cats]

Seeing the murals above the Veil enclosure

These murals are loaded with meaning. My feeling's been that they represent the Veil in many ways. For one, we have the duality of Light and Dark, not opposites, not the same, but a dyad, essential to each other, joined by the thinnest of lines. We see this in the middle mural where people hold the pillars up, separating above from below, Heaven from Hell.

Cousin Asher, you would find the concept of vacuum welding upsetting—press two sheets of metal together in void, and their atoms cannot tell which sheet they belong to. They cross freely. The two become one.

We see this again in Avalon, a side that looks like Egregore and a side that looks like the Tree of Silver Wings. A pillar sits behind. A sun hangs above. It is impossibly white.

It makes me think of the blight in the Nokris fight in Arrivals and in the battleground this season. It looks like a sun. It looks like it's been Taken.

Turn the Veil vertically like in the Ishtar Facility and what do you get?

A chalice holding the souls of all who have gone before. It rests in an unfamiliar place, a place it does not call home.

An hourglass of Light|Dark, ticking away time, life, death, until nothing.

Only two others have transcended their design. The first, an hourglass counting down with infinite patience. The second, a forgotten blade sharpened anew. And now, the Dredgen. Visit us again. We wish for you to understand what we understand. For now, it is my purpose to speak to you and you alone… but only if you remain worthy.

A pillar holding all the universe within itself, but also keeping it woven together, held aloft by those who struggle in the realm between life and death, god and man, here and beyond.

What happens if that pillar crumbles?

There's been a lot of invocation of Unveiling, the Garden, and implications that there's a bigger picture we're missing lately. We heard from the Veil's artist that it is represents "the mind and memory of the universe."

Truth to Power talks of black hole super computers and the idea of the data of all life being archived, of how

YOU MUST CAST ALL THE LIFE YOU CHERISH INTO A BLACK HOLE.

We've seen "black box" archives for destroyed civilizations discussed all over.

WHO|WHAT|WHERE IS OXA|TAOX

U. "Black holes are the densest possible computers in the physical universe. They are also the most secure, since they can be made to retain their information until they evaporate in the deep cosmic future. The Hive operate small singularity computers, such as the World's Grave, and the Vex sometimes pack enough energy and information into a small area of spacetime to collapse it into kugelblitz black hole like the one you can see outside. But a true stellar-mass or galactic-mass black hole computer is inconceivably more powerful.

"If Savathûn plans to predicate her existence on the concealment of her secrets, as Oryx predicated his upon the sword logic, it would be logical for her to safeguard her deepest secrets and her throne world in a supermassive black hole computer. To defeat her would require a journey below the event horizon and the exposure of her most jealously guarded truths." GOTO R.

Z. You leap from the Tower and escape Quria's simulation.

What is that purple and pink kaleidescopic energy in the dark, egregore goblet of the Veil? When Ghost links to the Veil, that energy seems to be what rockets to the Traveler and pierces it, allowing the Witness to part the curtains of reality and enter somewhere above and beyond us.

And then Nezarec, Master of the Void is freed. Wardcliffe Coil's lore refers to the Void as the basement of the universe. Inanna/Ishtar is thought of by Savathun in reference to the Veil and Neomuna, which Osiris hears as well. He then speaks of myths of the underworld. Katabasis. Hades. Hell. Perdition. The inferno. The Abyss.

O: [sips tea] Though my senses were darkened, that much was clear through the murk of her throne world. There was a secret she kept veiled, even to the last.

O: [sighs] I do not fully understand what I saw, and for a Human to understand a Hive mind... How many legends of katabasis do we have, Ikora?

I: We currently have dozens of stories about descending to the realms of the dead, though research has indicated many more must have existed, lost in the layers of Human history we will never lay eyes on. Mathematically, there were likely hundreds.

I: [pauses] Inanna and Dumuzid and Geshtinanna, Orpheus and Eurydice, Izanagi and Izanami, to name a few. Gods and goddesses, mortal and immortal lovers, always seeking to descend and return with the lost.

O: And neither the lost nor those who searched for them were ever returned the same.

I:...Is that how you think of yourself?

O: [scoffs] Do I sound that dire? All Guardians, all Lightbearers have done as much. But others, well... I wonder, do our former enemies have similar stories...

I: What exactly are you getting at?

O: Frequently, the underworld—or those realms beyond mortal existence—possess wisdom the living do not. What then, is knowledge from a dead Hive god vested in deception.... [long pause]

I: So. Neptune, and secrets.

O:...Inanna...

I: What is it?

O:...A thought. An echo of one. The return from the underworld, and Inanna cast off her veil... It makes sense. I did not understand, when I first felt clutching whispers. Carrying wisdom away from Kur when she strode into the sunlight again.

Ishtar entered the underworld and faced seven gates. At each gate she was stripped of clothing until she entered into that place naked and alone.

If you do not open the gate for me to come in, I shall smash the door and shatter the bolt, I shall smash the doorpost and overturn the doors, I shall raise up the dead and they shall eat the living: And the dead shall outnumber the living!

She is killed. After three days in death, she is rescued by two beings sent by one of the gods

From Wikipedia:

After Ishtar descends to the underworld, all sexual activity ceases on earth. The god Papsukkal, the Akkadian counterpart to Ninshubur, reports the situation to Ea, the god of wisdom and culture. Ea creates an androgynous being called Asu-shu-namir and sends them to Ereshkigal, telling them to invoke "the name of the great gods" against her and to ask for the bag containing the waters of life. Ereshkigal becomes enraged when she hears Asu-shu-namir's demand, but she is forced to give them the water of life. Asu-shu-namir sprinkles Ishtar with this water, reviving her. Then, Ishtar passes back through the seven gates, receiving one article of clothing back at each gate, and exiting the final gate fully clothed.

Eliksni servitors contain a record of their people, archives of those who have entered into death before the living. They are built in the image of the Traveler, a great machine with an unknown purpose, but which has exhibited a drive to protect and preserve life, all life, whether we understand its actions as such or not. It has shown, time and time again, a willingness to throw itself in front of the blade, for us. Its neutronium shell is heavy, dense beyond imagining. It's movements do not come without great effort and intent.

I believe the Witness has, in linking Ghost to the Veil, created a union of two types of records of civilization. One, the record of death, the other, the record of life. The Witness has entered into the Void, the afterlife, underworld, basement, and end of the universe, in order to face the greater gods. Or maybe, to unleash them...

Things I saw inside A wild river and a broken dam (or maybe it's just the sea crashing through a narrow gap I can't be sure). Waves slam through the gap and where they hit the stone they throw up pillars of spray that pierce the mist and crash down in thunder. There's a giant in the cataract, trying to wade against the current, and I can tell it wants to reach the lever and pull the lever which will seal off the flow or maybe give it the sword, but the torrent throws it back so it just keeps its head down and tries to push on. I can't see the face but it breathes out white smoke. I feel for it hard. A world painted around the interior like a stranger Earth everted and glued inside itself but I don't believe this one it's too much like a metaphor. A switchboard or a train station, empty, dead (waiting). The tunnels branch off into infinity. I stare down one for a long time and see a pale worm move in hungry coils around itself. I think this one is the most likely although I might have brought the worm. An egg but I'm not sure if the broth inside is warm still, or if it's gone to rot, or if the warmth comes from the struggles of the tiny winged zygote or the bleed from the wound or the thoughts of something thinking very hard. A star I think. We count on stars as steady friends because they always rise and always shine but a star's a delicate truce: an explosion caught by its own mass so that it can't erupt and can't collapse. Thus I imagine the state of the machine might be. But one force or another has gone awry and now it rests here, snuffed and broken, waiting for the two rival forms of ruin to be set in balance again.

Ghost Fragment: Mysteries 2 — Ingress via dreams alone

[corvus-rose]

Talking About My OCs

I am one of those obnoxious kaleidescopes who makes AUs of AUs in a fractal fashion of these two, but they're recognizably the same characters in all of them. anyway, here's the two I keep posting about on occasion on this particular blog, and the jot notes are things that are basically always true regardless of verse/canon.

Vayu/Manyuvya/Yuya

(he/him)

Trans dude going through the horrors, be they literal horrible flesh-eating monsters or making a phone call

Quiet and restrained. A few causes and a handful of people (one of them Eden) have his devotion above all else. Once given, that devotion does not waver. A bit of a caretaker, a bit dependent: has low self esteem, hates feeling like a burden, hence, service.

Determined to see things through to an end, trying as many times as it takes. Not even the threat of harm or death is a deterrent. He puts those he cares for above himself, very self sacrificing.

Ultimately wants a stable, comforting life. Clings to what scraps of that life he already has, being generally unwilling to change them or risk endangering them. Very protective, rather anxious.

An outdoorsy type. Often a hunter by profession, but almost always vegetarian (for personal reasons, rather than ideological or religious ones).

Bi-ace, complicated relationship to sexuality and romance. Gender is straightfoward, but he kinda chafes against others' concept of masculinity, and that intertwines with said complicated sexuality and romance.

Some hobbies he often has are reading (especially poetry), whittling and carving, video games in modern settings (with a fondness for boomer shooters)

Motifs: fire (from embers to funeral pyres), dogs

Some Things Yuya Has Been: a vessel for divinity on a quest to save his dying homeland and deity, an unfortunate who got kidnapped to Faerie and changed by it, a lonely hunter on-the-verge-of-becoming-a-werewolf

Eden

(they/she/fae, +others depending on context and canon, flowchart may be required)

Nature deity(?) whose fuckups and bad days may be quite literally earth shaking, to their dismay

A bit mercurial and moody, their attitude to others is a reflection of the others' attitude towards them. They want to be a kind, altruistic person, but they find it difficult. Quick to act, quick to regret, quick to change and doesn't know who they are at their core.

Treads softly and at a distance, hyper-aware of their ruinous power - but also filled with whims, passions, desires to experience and learn everything and anything. Still, one has responsibilities.

At their core, wants a stable and comforting life, but hates feeling stifled, or at a dead end. They want a home waiting for them during their adventures, a baseline to return to from the highs and lows.

Often some manner of immortal, but can never remember their entire life. They get flashes of wisdom or memory, and can hold grudges for a long time, but it all fades eventually.

Complicated genders and relationship to romance and sexuality. Orientation is best described as some form of pansexual. Gender expression is unfortunately often flattened down to "woman" by others.

Some hobbies they often have are music (listening to and attempting to play), card and board games, gardening (perhaps "cheating" by using their power over nature)

Motifs: trees, cracked statues, flowers (lotus)

Some Things Eden Has Been: the guardian and personification of a dying land, vaguely eldritch fae royalty in exile traveling through dreams, a witch and child of the forest (literally their mom's a dryad)

Eden and Vayu are part of a romantic pairing (do not separate them). Often, they're married. Vayu feels understanding and protective of them, and Eden feels safe and at home with him.

[ghooostbaby]

i do enjoy serving myself easy no-pressure huaxuan touch and intimacy

i like the idea that from the time they meet (shortly after he xuan's death, centuries before xie lian's third ascension, i've so far written a post of just one of many optional head canons i have of that) being together is not something they're focused on particularly, but something that evolves kind of unthinkingly after years of knowing each other and both perhaps being a little lonely, wanting some comfort while they wait for their core desire to come within reach

and so its just kind of easy and not meaningful but nice, hua cheng putting his arm around he xuan while they're having dinner, he xuan leaning back and resting again hua cheng's shoulder after they've eaten and are just being cozy.

(most of the time they get together involves food :P)

i also head canon that he xuan lives in the wilderness for a long time after he becomes a ghost, but once he knows hua cheng he visits the city for little outings

when he xuan's form is more stable, hua cheng coaxes him into coming to hang out at the newly set up gamblers den, but he xuan hasnt been around people for a long time and gets a bit overwhelmed by all the noise so hua cheng yells at everyone to gamble silently and brings he xuan behind the curtain to relax on some comfy cushions as the ghosts whisper-gamble. they lay side by side just hanging out in a comfortable not-necessarily-romantic physical intimacy sort of way.. and/or hua cheng orders a feast for them. (hua cheng just wants to PROVIDE ok, he needs an outlet if he can't meet xie lian for 800 years)

i think once they become sort of fixtures in each others lives, they start to explore their forms together. hua cheng has been around for a while (maybe its already after mt tonglu if he already has ghost city relatively up and running? what is hua cheng's timeline with this? although i don't really care how closely fitting w canon my huaxuan dreaming is...) he xuan only recently got powerful enough for physical form and hua cheng kind of enjoys witnessing him figuring things out. although hua cheng has his own forms he really likes by now, with his red and silver and butterflies, he humours he xuan to go for water monster swims together, because he xuan really loves being a monster.

hua cheng marvels at this, he thinks he IS monstrous and has always been drawn towards forms and adornments of glamour and beauty in resistance to his own monstrosity, realizes while playing with he xuan that he hates the feeling of being a real monster. but hua cheng is still amazed and a little warmed by little ghost he xuan's enthusiasm for monstrosity.

maybe one time he xuan transforms to a creepy camouflaging bottom dweller sea monster and hua cheng is the most frilly, ethereal, kaleidescope colour changing sea creature. he xuan is all, can't take you anywhere hmph! but they go for a swim together.)

after a few times hua cheng decides monster jams are not for him. maybe after declining to be a monster in future hua cheng gives he xuan the bone dragons so he has water creatures to swim around with, and he xuan is like i can't accept this and hua cheng is like * shrugs * you'll pay me back one day

hence the centuries running joke that never ends. where hua cheng keeps giving he xuan things and saying i'll add it to your debt. (he xuan is a spoiled ghost baby and has no issue with it ^^)

i will never shut up about the idea (not mine) that hua cheng invokes "the debt" to make himself feel comfortable that he has control, when mostly all people other than xie lian were so cruel to him, and he xuan lets it be, that and perhaps he was such a well-loved golden son and he's just like "well yeah, i should get stuff".

lifting this straight from the conclusion of @muigiel 's brilliant quanyinxuan fan fic ... (maybe i'm a fan) but in a more canon compliant reality than the one i've been dreaming of i think of hua cheng not really knowing how friendship, care, etc, works, and after all the ways he xuan helped him with xie lian stuff, or held back on retaliating on xie lian interfering with his revenge (to a point) out of consideration for hua cheng...

HC so you must be finally trying to even the score

HX uh, score?

HC yeah

HX you mean ... the way i'm helping you for no direct benefit to myself?

HC yeah

HX the way you helped me when i was a new ghost, when i could offer you nothing in return?

HC ...

HX please tell me you know the debt thing was a joke

HC ...

HX please tell me you know that we're friends

HC ...

HC *tearing up*

HC y- yeah ...

HX *sighs*

HX do you need a hug

HC *nods*

bwahahaha ok lies about the canon compliance. any time i write about them for long enough i can't resist making them cuddle

[alphafemalecarla]

Aiaiaiai a little butterflyyyy

Kaleidescope of death and liu yao are gonna get official english translationnnn

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA SIFHLKSDFJKLGKLHDGHG THATS SO COOL this is my sign to read liu yao 🙌

[ahungeringknife]

365: June 7

@seventhscorpio

More Dornuk being grumpy his childhood friend went away for the summer and came back hot as fuck

---

There might as well have been soul fire burning over his head when Dornuk stalked back into the keep. He was so mad. Usually he didn't get mad like this. Maybe years ago when he'd been a child but the miserable experiences of his youth was behind him. He had a high standing despite being an acolyte and nothing and no one would take those important from him again. He and his worm were well fed. He had nothing to be angry about anymore.

He was angry today though.

He had a small quarters in Savathun's keep just so he was close by if Savathun wanted him to notate something down or read back to her one of her own stories. He just wanted to go there and yell into his bed.

That was not as fate decided and Immaru found him before he could make it to his apartment. "Hey sport, Savathun wants to see you," Immaru said.

"Did she send you to fetch me?" he let a little venom cloud his voice, unable to help himself.

"Don't back talk me. Go to the throne room," Immaru ordered.

Dornuk squeezed his nearly broken tablet in his hand. "Very well," he said swallowing telling Immaru to leave him be. He couldn't actually tell Immaru off as that would be insulting to Savathun and Dornuk was many things but clouded by anger was not one of them. Immaru teleported away and Dornuk changed his path and headed for the throne room.

The throne room was one filled with eye shaped stained glass and great planters overflowing with flowering plants. Light poured in from all sides, illuminating the windows in beautiful color kaleidescope and casting it across the alabaster floor as prismatic rainbows. Savathun often met with her Inquisitors or Death Singers here, a place where she could keep here eyes on all of them at once, but today the hall was empty save for the Witch Queen herself.

She was speaking with Immaru about something when he arrived and they broke off their conversation. "Dornuk," she said in her pleasant way.

"Your grace," he bowed slightly.

"How did today go?"

"Fine," he hid the bent tablet behind his back like he was just trying to be polite.

"Come closer. Tell me about Alak Hul and his new squire, hmm?" she beckoned and he did so but that just made him more irritated. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about Alak Hul and Gup at the Training Grounds.

He sat on the steps of her throne trying to cool his irritation. "What do you want to know, your grace?"

"Hmm, well it is always fun when Alak Hul shows his face. I'm sure he was swarmed," she said in amusement.

"Yes," Dornuk agreed. He told Savathun about how when he'd arrived Alak Hul was already amid a large group of acolytes and knights looking to have a word or perhaps get a moment of training with him. She laughed when he told her about Alak Hul thundering loud enough to shake the buildings for everyone to leave him alone before he turned the Training Grounds into the Proving Grounds and drenched the area in their blood.

"Oh he must have been quite irritated to threaten to kill," Savathun snickered. Alak Hul, despite his fearsome reputation, was not as blood thirsty or violent as he had been in his first life. He had nothing to gain or to prove, no worm to feed, no ambition to fulfill.

"He was quite upset," Dornuk agreed. He told her about how after that Alak Hul did get a chance to do some training with his squire. Dornuk kept his explanation of this brief. Mostly because he hadn't written a lot during this time. He'd just stood to the side with several others watching. Most were looking at Alak Hul but Dornuk was watching Gup. He was awkward in his new morph still but it just made him endearing. Dornuk held his tablet the entire time but it wasn't until they were finished that he realized he hadn't written anything on it.

Since it was just perhaps the first day of training it was only the basics but Gup took it well and was able to mimic Alak Hul's movements perfectly after a few tries. He didn't tell Savathun about how distracted he was in his duty to catalog the training day with Alak Hul and his new squire. Or how he very much wanted to kill a pair of wizards hovering behind him talking about Gup like he was a prime cut of meat. A perfect specimen for a brood, especially if he was Alak Hul's squire.

"It is quite a sight to get to see Alak Hul do any sort of fighting," Savathun said as he dutifully recited only the facts to her.

"Yes. He was... impressive," Dornuk said but he hadn't really been paying attention to Alak Hul at all.

"And what of the Moonheart broodling?"

"He may look like a Knight but he fights like a buffoon," Dornuk said dismissively. "Even I can handle a blade better and I spend most of my time writing." Probably an exaggeration. Actually a complete exaggeration. He'd never seen it personally but clearly Alak Hul had been training Gup to use a sword even as an Acolyte. Or maybe the Guardians had given him lessons. Either way he absolutely was not clumsy with one of the huge, heavy, training swords.

Savathun laughed and leaned on the arm of her throne. "Is that all?" she asked.

"Once Alak Hul had decided that was enough training they were once more surrounded." By significantly more Wizards too and Dornuk had nearly bent and snapped his tablet watching not a few Wizards go try to flirt with Gup. Not that he cared! It wasn't his business. Every time one laid a delicate clawed hand on his smooth shoulder chitin he tortured the tablet a bit more. Now the screen was cracked from him almost snapping it in half. Gup always casually brushed them off but it was the principle of the thing! "Alak Hul only tolerated it so much before he waded through them and out of the Training Ground. Xolkûn went with him. And then I returned here," he said dutifully.

"Ah so you didn't get to talk to them?" Savathun asked, holding her chin in her hand. She was giving him a look and he had no idea what she was on about.

"No. I couldn't get close enough. I may be your scribe but I'm still quite... small," he admitted with a sigh. Larger than he had been but certainly smaller than a Knight or an acolyte about to go into their morph.

"I see. Well if that is all that happened," she waved him away and got out of her throne. "As you were, Dornuk."

"Thank you, your grace," he bowed after he stood. He waited until she flew out of her own throne room before going to his room.

He closed himself into it before rubbing his face with one hand. He didn't mention to Savathun that Gup had noticed him watching him and had stopped and waved at him. Or that after the training and the Wizards had flocked to him to flirt every time he brushed one off he tried to approach Dornuk to talk. Then Alak Hul had yelled at everyone to fuck off and very nearly scooped Gup up under his arm and stalked off, irate at the entire thing. It had been... sort of exciting to know that the attention of the Knight all the Wizards were interested in was only on him. He didn't have any care for those Wizards or their flirting, or them trying to get his attention.

Not that it mattered! What did Dornuk care anyway? He huffed and looked at his tablet. Well... maybe he cared a little. He'd have to speak with an Inquisitor about getting a new one. Later. For now he wanted to lay on his bed and sulk.

[starseternelle]

__________🏹 SHE IS STUNNED TO SEE THE TRANSFORMATION IN FRONT OF HER. gone is the mask, the act of the council, of under the mountain && in its place is softness to her, for her, because of her. his violet gaze is a sea of stars, reflecting && turning until she believes she may lose herself trying to sort out their story ( hers, his, theirs ) spelt out in those constellations. there is only the shadow of familiarity, a passing whisper dancing across the night sky. her past has been stolen, her future rewritten && the anger that coils in the pit of her stomach threatens to burn her from the inside out. there will be time for that, when answers are nearer at hand. when war does not loom on the horizon. that is bigger than her. bigger than them && though her very essence threatens to tear itself apart, she holds her promise close to her heart. together.

🏹__________      IF THE WASTELAND OF MEMORY DOES NOT SHATTER HER, HIS SMILE MAY. such a beautiful thing, one she has not seen all day. he, opting for cunning grins instead in front of the other lords, && she, content to ignore his every move. something constricts in her chest, makes it hard to breathe ( she chalks it up to her imagination, but that bargain, the bond seems to warm ) his touch grounds her back && tugs another string. she follows it, searches for the warmth blossoming across her skin at his words, feels something solidify && the corner of her mouth twitches upward. a small phantom of her own smile. barely there, ghosting across her features, but there all the same. ❛   you ... call me that a lot. at the wedding but ... after that too. && i ... loved it, i think.   ❜ words are halting, somewhat unsure as she tries to find a firmer grasp on what she is feeling, but she knows it must sound silly. it does to her own ears, but it is a glimpse into the kaleidescope of her past, ever shifting, ever changing. she is willing to take whatever piece she can have, however small.

__________🏹 A SOFT SIGH ESCAPES HER LIPS AT WHAT THEY WILL FACE IN THE MORNING. she has mere hours to fortify herself, to find the strength to raise her chin despite the stares && the whispers that will follow her in the wake of today's drama. && amidst that chaos, she has so many more questions about who they had been together, who she had become in his court, what her life had been like. she is starved for the truth && she knows if she starts down that road, she may never stop. instead, she forces pragmatism to the forefront. time is limited. her answers can wait, their next steps cannot. ❛   what do we do ?? tomorrow. && after.   ❜ she feels a prick of panic at the thought of returning to spring in light of everything she's learned. even if tamlin hadn't known the price the magic would extract, he had taken her choice, her autonomy. he kept knowledge of her mate from her, lied to her in pretense of keeping her safe. the walls of that manor now seem more suffocating than before. a tomb for she knows it will be the death of her if the situation does not change.

in chaos, in confusion, in blindness and illusion: feyre never lost herself. ( she'd forgotten, only forgotten. ) it is why his shoulders bow in the wake of her apology, her guilt. her heart, its truth ... bled in her fury. the set of her brow, the strike of her verbal blow ... they'd hit their mark with an intent that'd remained honest to her. there is nothing to forgive where her heart is embraced. he'd pray she never lose that spark. mother above, his heart beats for her. —- her trust is enough. ' i believe you, ' she'd said. and his breath caught all the same. now more than ever, it's everything. ( the feel of her lingers upon his hand; at his side, he embraces her still. ) for the first time that day, he breathes deeply; the protest in his lungs quiets. a glimmer, deep within: tethers hope.

her mention of the cure drives it further. until, that is, recollection hits him. " —- your blood. " he echoes. his gaze dances between the set of her eyes; from beneath the shadow of his brows ... a violet night stirs. the suriel, for all of its truths, proved to be terribly vague. concern pricks in the back of his head, but before it could fester, her invitation rerouted his focus. ' together '; a promise. a start. he nods, already relaying what he's learned to those that awaited his return. ( and anxiously: hers. ) —- they will find the cure. they will bring her home. and those responsible for the attack ... will be wiped from existence. it is vowed by all.

... he watches as her gaze sets on thesan's palace; a den of vipers, indeed. ( sentimental amusement catches in his throat; for a second's time, things are as they'd always been between them. ) but then she whirs, urging his caution, and he struggles to level with her gaze again. his head dips with the effort; dark brows, furrow. he considers her warning alongside his rage. the latter takes up a considerable amount space. and it's only multiplied by the chairs of his court. acknowledgment encourages ugly rearing. another pulse of dark power extends from his palms, leaving them as cold as ice. " —- ... " he'd heed her caution; impending war demanded that. but he'd also trust that tamlin's temper could not. let that be tamlin's own damned downfall. ( tomorrow, he'd merely ... let the high lord's self-sentencing carry as it may. light encouragement, aside. ) he exhales slowly through his nose. just as deliberately: he cracks a smile for the both of them. " don't you worry ... " though it does not reach his eyes. not until he dares another thumb's sweeping. one: achingly brief, along her chin. " ... feyre darling. " his eyes burn. —- tamlin would sooner lose that hand. from very far away, amren purrs a bloodier promise; echoes follow suit. " one battle at a time. " he reminds each and every one of them. himself included.

[epithet-erased-textposts]

[mejomonster]

Random notes:

I'm so much better at reading nonfiction books quickly, I can get through one in 1 hour to 3 days depending on its length and time I have. I'm going to guess it's a hold over from studying engineering and just Needing to be able to cram through nonfiction informational stuff. I've got like 12 fiction books im juggling right now and like that many fanfics I'm reading (I know ;-;) but the nonfiction book I got about someone's written experiences? One day reading and I'm 60% through.

The exception to that is grammar books and character Kanji and Hanzi books, since they're like reading dictionaries and I really just do have to go one entry at a time so 20 pages takes about 1 hour for those.

I need to be nicer to myself about writing. ;-; i just checked out 4 fiction books on how they opened, and every single one of them at minimum gave a 3 sentence paragraph on setting exposition as the first intro to the story

(Murakami's Hard Boiled Wonderland starts with an elevator description, which I feel parallels Alice falling down the rabbit hole well and so it's a good both setting introduction and unsaid things intro, Little Favors opens on an airport and fuerdai rich and gives a sense of location and sphere of main characters, Tale of Genji starts with an explanation of royal family important background... which I could copy but I feel a modern audience would judge it exposition-heavy, Dealing With Dragons starts with a quick "This land is like this" setting intro then diving into main character pov - which is honestly a structure I try to do a lot, Guardian jumps right into action with Guo Changcheng out at 2 am then after that delving into his background a little for exposition and his actions that night at the SID as setting exposition - immediately into the character which I prefer though it still touches on it being night in a city before switching to Guo, Can Ci Pin starts less obviously with location description with someone talking - but they're talking about history as a tour guide which is a smooth way to immediate give exposition of the sci fi setting to both reader and the little boy character asking questions... I may have to steal this one, and Kaleidescope of Death opens with a short few sentences on location and then uses a main character and their pov of the woman they're with - which is probably closest to my ideal for writing style). Basically just like... seems like most stories start on at least a little setting explanation of where the story is and even maybe it's world-rules if needed before diving into characters saying things/doing things. I think I'm a little too harsh on myself thinking I could just smoothly skip that part, I think I'm going to unfairly judge that intro part of my writing no matter what I do.

I really liked my Freyna Fenriel story intro. Wish I could be possessed by that energy again lol.

Another ball. A new Highest, again. This is the third one in as many months. Freyna takes another gulp of champagne and makes her way outside to the balcony.

She doesn't care what this Highest looks like. He'll be dead in another month, most likely. Her only reason to be in the capital right now, to make sure he gets the impression her family could care less if he's Highest after the previous one. That the Fenriels will be perfectly loyal - as loyal as anyone living in the countryside can be. It's not as if her family's business has much to do with the bloodbaths of the capital.

The night is cool, the breeze carrying the crisp smell of snow coming. The frail pink blossoms of the vines lining the balcony will shrivel and die from frost soon enough.

Then I look at how I opened on some fanfiction and I'm like. Yeah. I could be doing significantly messier and still someone would enjoy reading it, I enjoyed reading it, I need to be less harsh on myself.

Jim had a plan. So it might not be a perfectly outlined list of steps to take and backup actions if the first steps failed to achieve the desired result. But he wasn’t Spock. Generally an idea carried out with intuitive choices seemed to serve Jim well enough, especially the more emotional and less logical the circumstances. So, maybe, Jim Kirk wasn’t exactly the most skilled perfectionist when it came to relationships, maybe he had sort of an extremely flawed track record. Whatever.

Spock decides to embrace the plan. “Another shot, please.” He downs it, immediately requests yet another. The human on the other side of the counter doesn’t bother putting the bottle away this time, Spock’s already made them run back and forth five times in succession. “You want me to just leave the bottle?” Spock gives a small nod. “That would be appreciated.”

Nie Huaisang used to hang around Meng Yao a lot, before. Nearly everywhere Nie Huaisang would be, Meng Yao would either trail after him by a few minutes, or else have already arrived - with the younger Nie brother eventually catching up, once he needed something. Meng Yao helped without complaint, always with that polite smile of his. It always seemed skin deep. But Nie Huaisang either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. Then everything happened. So much happened.

In another world, another life, another version of events, things could have been different. Lan Xichen is lost in those trails. They lead nowhere. Because they aren’t real. They aren’t what happened. They could have been. He isn’t sure if he wishes they were. He isn’t sure, at this point, if he’d rather have them instead. Instead of this.

The leaves rustle outside of the carriage, shifting with the wind. Between the slivers of green, patches of sunlight manage to reach down to the path below, to the carriage and it's windows. He can feel the light warmth of it on his skin, where he sits close enough for it to reach.

[girldickdotcom]

i literally wrote the best song i ever have today i think

[nopenototdaysatan]

We're telling stories then? Let me tell you about my favorite character. (TW: mentions of death, abuse, transphobia and homophobia)

I've said before that I relate to Legend and his struggles and triumphs but I kinda went a little vague on that. So, let me tell you about the story of how Linked Universe's Legend became my hero and how this one character has helped save me.

From about 2015-2020 my life went through a kaleidescope of different hurts. I realized my childhood was not as good as I thought it was, went through two different abusive relationships, lost almost all of my friends (at that time) to my abusers or toxic ex friends (generally), had 2 of my grandparents die within a year, had to try to safely work with homophobic and transphobic coworkers and boss, and watched my family choose a politician over my own safety.

I was a wreck. Mentally, emotionally, physically as well. Nightmares suck. The trauma of it all broke something in me. I knew things had to change and they did...slowly. But it never felt like enough and it always felt worthless at the end. But then I found LU.

I was reading botw fanfiction when I found one that was a LU fanfic as well. I went down the rabbit hole watching wild get introduced to these other heros of legend. It was fun and enjoyable. And I probably would have stopped reading it after sometime if I hadn't read one that was centered on Legend. I don't remember the exact one I read but one of the first ones that hit me hard was "Flight to my heart" by @bokettochild

I watched this character who had been traumatized and made to feel small slowly learn that he could be whatever the fuck he wanted and that these wings he couldn't control having were actually appreciated instead of being a curse. I watched him get closer to the other members of the chain and learn how to trust again and I felt hope. For the first time in a while I felt hope for myself.

I could do that. I just needed to find my people like Legend found his. But just like Legend has so many friends and loved ones from multiple games so did I. I got back in contact with old friends I thought would hate me but had only missed me. I just got in contact with old college friends who made it clear that they still wanted me around. Between the friends before everything went down and the two who were there with me through everything. I just needed to reach out to realize that I'm loved.

It's funny looking back on it because for about a year my love for LU felt like a dirty little secret. These characters who were traumatized but still moving forward meant so much to me but being vulnerable about why, well I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to say the full truth a couple months ago. I feel ready now. Thank you to all LU content creators and JoJo for creating wonderful works and being a part of my healing whether you know it or not.

Is your favorite Link the same one you find relatable? Or are they different? Feel free to share in the tags!

[tsukuyomi-chan]

finished kaleidescope of death and im way too fucking emotional now thanks xizixu

[post-futurism]

top 5 underrated tv shows and why!!

In no particular order... 

1.     Flowers (UK TV 2016-2018)

A british black comedy which is one of the most hilarious depressing shows i’ve ever seen. They really stay true to the genre. basically it’s about the Flowers family consisting of Olivia Colman as unhappy wife to Julian Barratt, who is a retired successful kids book author, and their two adult twin kids live with them. Daughter Amy Flowers is my actual favourite character ever. Also a Japanese kid Shun lives in their shed but he’s sometimes forgotten about. He’s played by Will Sharpe who wrote and created the whole show. Anyway, really good Queer rep, mental health rep, heartwarming, and hilarious. Devo that not many people know about it - pretty sure it’s on netflix! (And ABC iView)

2.     Magical Girl Friendship Squad (US Cartoon 2020) 

Alex and Daisy are two aimless milennials who can talk shit and do shit all, resulting in them getting mistaken for girls who Know Shit. God in the form of a Red Panda tasks them with protecting earth with their Magical Girl Power Tools of Birth Control Pills and Bong. It’s amazing. I feel like this would be the kind of show that tumblr would be all over. It’s got queer rep, it’s got the best lesbian jokes, it’s got diverse characters, it’s got MAGICAL GIRLS. I feel like maybe we won’t get any more of it because there’s only been 6x 10min episodes and idk if it’s got enough popularity to keep momentum? but you gotta love a wiki page that has a heading ‘LGBTQ representation’ and then has a link to a main article specifically about LGBTQ representation in this show. 

3.     In My Skin (UK TV 2018) 

A welsh 5 episode series about a hopeless lesbian immensely hopelessly in love with the prettiest girl in school, and trying to maintain her Cool Girl rep while juggling her mentally ill mother. It’s a comedy. It also goes to some dark places. It also just ENDS. which is all very typical of a UK tv show and it’s still definitely worth the watch. I loved it. 

4.     Twenty Somethings (AU TV 2011-2013)

It’s been a while since i’ve seen this show but it was during the time when Broad City was very big which is very similar to this show. It’s about a chick who hasn’t been able to hold down a job and gets by by taking up random jobs like dog walking and driving kids to music festivals. Jess and her best friend Josh are just always getting into these crazy schemes and it’s so good and funny. It’s a lot of fun. 

5.     Undone (TV show 2019)

Undone is this incredible rotoscoped show about Alma trying to figure out what happened to her father and his mysterious death. It travels backwards and forwards through time a lot as she tries to put the pieces together resulting in this kaleidescopic narrative unfolding. It’s just so well done, so visually interesting and beautiful, and a really well told story that keeps you hooked on all the mysteries. It’s unfortunately on Am*zon but ya know, there are ways.