#kaladin/elhokar

[nevertheless-moving]

canonically, in the cosmere, Invested individuals persist in the cognitive realm for a short time after end of life in the physical. Considering Elhokar was in the midst of swearing the First Ideal, and was highly likely to have had numerous infused gems on his person, I think it's not only plausible but probable that he survived in the cognitive realm for at least a couple minutes after his death.

all that is to say, Elhokar got to see his son be rescued by Drehy and Skar. and also got to watch Kaladin Stormblessed crawl emotionally devastated towards his unmoving body. So you know. It's not all bad.

[bluecalic0]

elhokar has wet cat because it fell in the bath energy

kaladin has wet cat that was forced to have a shower and fought his way through the whole horrifying ordeal and has his grumpy face on while wrapped in a fluffy towel afterwards energy

[duckngk]

the animatic that came from a late night talk with a friend

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

there more i think about it the more i realize that one of the main themes in the series is guilt and shame and how to redeem yourself even though what you did is (subjectively or objectively) unforgiveable. how can you live with yourself knowing that what you caused can never be undone?

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

imagining elhokar surviving just to get into a weird subtle-not-so-subtle-but-deeply-toxic competition with adolin over kaladin (except neither of them openly admit this is what's going on and kaladin is just confused) is so funny

Elhokar: b-but i love my wife!

His Cryptic: mmm... why you always lyin'

Elhokar: Y-YEAH, WELL, WHAT ABOUT ADOLIN HUH?

Adolin: actually funny you should mention that given that im here to duel you so that you'll make polyamory legal. f-for the good of the people in these hard times, of course... i-it was shallan's idea. *awkwardly clears throat*

Elhokar: HE ISN'T EVEN YOUR BOYFRIEND YET.

Adolin, nervously glancing about to make sure Kaladin isn't in earshot: SHHHH

Kaladin, meanwhile, off somewhere in deep discussion with Syl: yes I KNOW everyone says horses only eat plants but i am also *certain* a horse would eat me if i just sat still long enough- where are you going- don't fly away-

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Fake-Dating Pairs That Could "Plausibly" Happen

As requested by @room-temperature-orange-juice :)

Sanderson doesn't seem to go for fake dating all that much. But here are some scenarios that could TOTALLY happen if he did want to incorporate some fake-dating comedy into his books...

1. MeLaan & Marasi

The Scenario: Well, they obviously need to go undercover to solve a case, perhaps to a ball or a party or a wedding where it makes the most sense to pretend to be a couple

MeLaan (currently in a woman's body): All right. Let's do this! Marasi: U-Uh, MeLaan? Are you sure that's the...best body for this operation? MeLaan: Shit, you're right. Hang on! MeLaan: [Returns as a much more voluptuous woman] MeLaan: Now everyone will know that you can pull. Marasi (deeply red): T-THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

2. Kaladin & Szeth [Rhythm of War spoilers but NO WAT preview spoilers]

The Scenario: Well, we know that Kaladin and Szeth will be going to Shinovar on a mission. Let's say Szeth needs to explain why he's brought a stone-walker into his homeland. The obvious explanation is that they're dating!

Shinovar authority figure: D-Dating?! Why would you date a stone-walker?! Szeth (expressionless): I like tall men. Kaladin (equally expressionless): He likes it when I hit my head on things. Szeth (still expressionless): Though I love him deeply, I do enjoy a good instance of head trauma. Shinovar authority figure (muttering): Is double "Truthless" a thing?

3. Charlie & one of those princesses

The Scenario: Rather than driving off all of the eligible princesses by being as boring & gross as possible, Charlie finds one who is willing to play along.

Charlie: T-The truth is, I already have a woman I love. The Princess: Really? Charlie: Yeah, but my dad doesn't approve of her... The Princess: I know how you feel. My father also doesn't approve of the woman I love... Charlie: ... The Princess: ... Charlie: ... The Princess: ... Charlie: Five-year engagement? The Princess: At least!

4. Lyn & Renarin

The Scenario: Fed up with her parents being all judgmental because she dumped Kaladin Stormblessed, Lyn decides that she HAS to bring an awesome date to her family dinner--and who better than a Brightlord, a Radiant, AND the king's son?

Lyn: Don't forget to bring up that you joined the 4v1 duel before Kaladin. Lyn: And how you took down a Thunderclast! Lyn: Storms, if you just smile occasionally, I bet that'll make them forget about Kaladin... Lyn: ... Lyn: Honestly, I think you might just be a better catch than Kaladin. Renarin: I'm gay, though. Lyn: Heh, well I didn't say you're a better catch for me...

5. Kaladin & Elhokar

The Scenario: Imagine that, during the infiltration of Kholinar, that part of their disguises involve Elhokar (disguised as a lighteyed woman) being the wife of Kaladin (disguised as an ugly old man).

Elhokar: Mmmm...I don't feel that I would go for a man with eyebrows like that. Shallan: Brightlady, please! Surely you can pretend that beneath his rough exterior, he has a good heart. Kaladin: ...pretend? Elhokar: No, no. I definitely would have insisted that he at least groom better. Can you make his eyebrows at least a bit neater? To sell the illusion? Or, do we have time to stop for nose-hair trimmers? Shallan: What if I just make his cheekbones a bit sharper? Elhokar: Mmmm...okay, yes. I could see myself marrying him. Kaladin: CAN WE PLEASE GET GOING

6. Wayne and Ranette

The Scenario: Wayne begs Ranette to fake-marry him.

Ranette: [looking at Wayne with a mixture of horror and pity] You said you weren't gonna do this anymore, Wayne. Wayne: No, no! Don't you get the wrong idea here! I need you to marry me and then divorce me horribly so you get half of my money in court! Wayne: Please understand--I've tried everything to get rid of this money. I'm desperate here! Wayne: Please! Ranette: ... Ranette: I get to divorce you horribly? Wayne: You better eviscerate me in court! Ranette: ... Ranette: Might be right therapeutic, actually. Wayne: You're such a good friend!

Moash & Kelsier

The Scenario: Moash realizes he's going to be reunited with his former Bridge 4 friends and makes plans accordingly.

Moash: Yup. This is my old Bridge 4 uniform, but now it's dyed black, because I'm new & evil now. Moash: And this is my new boyfriend Kelsier, who's just like you, Kaladin, only he survives MORE and actually FOLLOWS THROUGH on killing the king. Kelsier: Lord Ruler. Moash: Whatever. Moash: So as you can see, I don't even miss you guys AT ALL. Moash: ... Moash: What do you think? Will this make them jealous? Kelsier: ...I think we need to practice your speech a bit more.

[sarahshoots1st]

Various Stormlight characters represented by random images I've found on the internet:

Kaladin:

Shallan:

Dalinar:

Adolin:

Jasnah:

Elhokar:

Eshonai:

Leshwi:

Moash:

Wit:

[thekinglemingle]

I saw a really nice theory, I cant remember where or I'd link it, that the fifth ideal is about accepting yourself. With that in mind, my predictions for book 5 are.

Kaladin: I will protect myself

Shallan: I am Shallan Davar, the good and the bad

Szeth: I am capable of deciding for myself what is Justice.

What do you guys think? I can't work out what Dalinar's would be, but given that Elhokar's second idea would have been "I am a bad king" I think his fifth would be "I am the only king these people have"

[readingwitharthur]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WERE THOSE LAST 300 PAGES BRANDON SANDERSON????????

In case you didn’t noticed i’m here to say i finally finished oathbringer, book 3 in the stormlight archive series, and my oh my do i have thoughts about it.

okay so for starters, i felt like the story dragged a bit too much, i get that that’s sanderson’s style but man i was so fricking bored for half of the book.

now the parts i really enjoyed:

. the failed attempt to save kholinar (rip elhokar, you’ll be missed)

.the whole shadesmar sequence was so well written, meeting adolin’s shardblade spren was a fun surprise

. kaladin not being able to swear the fourth ideal??? had me almost throwing my kindle out of a window, felt so bad for my boy kal 😔

. dalinar “i am unity” kholin, can i call you daddy?? because my man you made me feel things no one else did

. shallan, veil and radiant being the best dissociative identity disorder trio ever and holding off odium’s army

. renarin you’re like a son to me, if anything happened to you i would off myself immediately

final considerations: it’s a five star book? yes, and i won’t lie, sanderson continues to amaze me with this freaking book series, that being said, to rythm of war i go

[moashdeservedbetter]

I'm an exmo, but I grew up *all in* the church and was until like a couple years ago, which I'm not proud of, but I don't hate that Branderson is LDS...

anyway my cold take is that the Cosmere is super heretical mormon fanfiction, hear me out

-people become Gods (he's said this has lds influence)

-there's lots of planets and peoples (yes mormons believe in lots of other worlds with life on them)

-Poeople-turned-Gods can create more life (it's why ur supposed to become a god)

-reading a holy book is a big part of what changes Dalinar's whole life (he reads WoK book over and over, he talks about it a lot like LDS people talk about reading scriptures everyday and how it will change your soul) -plus divine intervention, he asks for divine help and receives it (in Momonism, if you're just willing to ask, God is always willing to grant help) -Every religion has some truth, basically Sazed's worldview (okay mormons can be split on this but I love that Brandon leans into this aspect of Mormon theology, basically that all faiths can lead to God)

-overvaluing forgiveness and bypassing anger (imo, obviously I disagree here)

-Ruin can *plant* thoughts but not *read* thoughts, only preservation can (Satan can plant thoughts but can't read your thoughts, only God can)

-Odium is basically stroke for stroke "the natural man" i could write an essay about that

-also I could write a whole essay on Harmony's "why evil still exists if there's a God" take, also I literally have a big google doc filled with tiny (but sometimes pretty direct) references to Mormon lore in the Cosmere

BUT ALSO the cosmere is pretty heretical,

i.e. God dies, and soul's can be prevented from going to the spiritual realm, and Brandon's LGBTQ+ representation/allyship would probably get him fired from BYU if he weren't such a big author. Anyway my first tumblr post is a novel if you've read it this far thank you for listening ^_^

[madwomansapologist]

notes on Storm's Illumination

"Thath. Justice." - Navani Kholin, chapter 69.

I wanted to leave this for the end, but let's start with: how it feels good to be right. I am, once again, Miss On Sight.

Elhokar is a stupid fucking asshole. What a dumb king. Stupid. He weakened his family in the vision of others, and without his stupid decision of CUTTING THE FUCKING SADDLE the whole battle of The Tower wouldn't happen.

The way everything would be so much easier if he was cruel. But no, he needs to be only thing that is worse than that: stupid.

Elhokar, if you have no haters than I am dead. Fuck you, and bless Dalinar's cock inside your mom. You fucking child, say sorry for stepdad/uncle.

The Tower was an arc worthy of prizes by itself. The way I could see all the threads Brandon Sanderson created just becoming one knot, how every single thing finally had an answer, is just mind blowing.Dalinar.

I judged Dalinar for his behavior, but there he goes and proof that my argument was exactly the conclusion he came to. His moral is right, the moment isn't. And if the moment isn't for a man like him (and what a man), then he will change what's happening.

The Way of Kings wasn't written for people in a war, but after it. For now, he can be the only adult in a room full of childs.

The way characters decide to give others they armors and swords just makes so much sense. Szeth now wanting one more shardblade to aim other, Kaladin not seeing honor in gaining something from a battlefield filled with his friends corpses, Dalinar understanding that he will never allow himself to be Blackthorn again.

Sadeas, I liked you for a instant. I'm waiting gladly for the moment Adolin kills you. And c'mon, there is no way anyone but Adolin is killing Sadeas.

Bridge 4 finding their freedom only because they were honorable. And them being honorable only because they knew what it felt to trapped in a position in which the only thing they could do was to die. Not a "I was hurt and because of that pain I will protect", but "I was hurt and despise that pain I will protect".

Syl being a honor spreen. Still not sure about what it means exactly, but I have a theory about Shallan that soon I will see if it's right or not.

In general: I slept four hours that night because of that book. And I am writing this while at work. That's how much it affected me.

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[nevertheless-moving]

Kaladin: I'll take care of you. Elhokar: It's rotten work. Kaladin: Especially to me. Especially if it's you. I'll storming do it but Heralds alive

[diabolicalworldwriter]

Jesus, I just got to the point in Words of Radiance where Kal is in prison and Dalinar basically says "You're not going to end racism by being radical and acting upset about it. You can't just expect us to treat you like an equal because you're not one. Play nice and maybe the racists will grow to respect you"

I.

Buddy what the fuck

In general I think I've found that I'm... Not as fond of Dalinar as I used to be. Don't get me wrong, he does some great things and he's constantly trying to improve and I appreciate that. Flawed characters make stories interesting and I think Brandon does a fantastic job of writing him. However, he is overly strict and judgemental (Still not forgiving him for hating on Adolin for trying to express himself a bit more through style in ROW; let my boy dress up a bit if he wants), he struggles to accept other ways of doing things (we could look to Adolin again, being "too friendly" with those he commands and Dalinar going "noooo they might respect you less if they think you see them as an equal individual"), and while he talks about how he wants to change how everything works, if someone tries to defy convention in a way he doesn't approve of he shuts them down. (Kaladin pointing out very fair issues with how dark eyes are punished severely and light eyes get away with everything only to be talked down at until he shut up and fell in line, for example.) He wants change and has power to bring it about but won't do anything too radical for it, I guess, and that frustrates me. He tends to support systems as long as they work for his own goals, even if they're still exploitative and deeply unjust, while also complaining that everyone else is being exploitative and unjust. I dislike that he acts like he's doing Kaladin such a favor by treating him as almost an equal. "I'm sticking my neck out by treating you like a human, act civil and don't try to speak too loudly about the injustices yet, you might make the others uncomfortable." Dalinar isn't like other light eyes, he's so quirky and different and sometimes acts a bit less classist and racist!!! Aren't we lucky!! Idk maybe I'm stating my point a bit too strongly but damn. He's giving "yeah I'm a stubborn old man but really I'm quite progressive, I don't even go out of my way to hate crime people"

Words of Radiance, while I enjoy it, is rather difficult to get through because it's just so many main characters who I generally appreciate being awful to/supporting or ignoring awful behavior towards Kaladin and if he reacts they're like ":0000 how dare he attack first" (I appreciate Zahel chewing out Adolin for antagonizing and then fighting Kal in shardplate because goddamn Adolin I love you but that sucked.)

I'm finding Elhokar a lot more unlikeable on this reread as well. He's meant to be unlikeable of course, so good job on that, but Jesus he can be the worst. Honestly standing beside my past thoughts that what Moash did wrong was not in turning on the system that oppresses him and all the dark eyes, but just that he knowingly hurt Kaladin and other people who cared about him repeatedly and severely to do so.

I'm on board with killing horrible leaders (especially if it seems the only way to remove them and stop them from causing harm: people shouldn't have to suffer and die as part of a leader's learning curve and character growth, and going "they're working on it" when people are actively suffering is garbage. I'm still sad at Elhokar's death but I'm not sad that he's no longer king) but I draw the line at abusing and killing one's friends and I am just hoping he comes to terms with what he has done wrong and improves in book five.

Anyways that was long and scattered I'm sorry lmao you should have heard my rant to my poor cousin, I was rambling for like half an hour.

[headcanonsandmore]

Honestly, one of the funniest parts of The Stormlight Archive is when, at the end of the second book, someone asks Kaladin which safe place he left the king in.  Kaladin grins a very knowing grin, and the book immediately jump-cuts to a bed-ridden King Elhokar being bossed into eating his food by the Lopen’s mum. 😂🤣

[liviiblahblah]

The Stormlight Bunch