#kakashi hiden

[skykashi]

Question about KakaKahyo after seeing your post. What stops them from having a happily ever after? Not sure if people see Boruto as filler/anime-canon, but in Boruto, Kahyo’s not at Hozuki Castle anymore; Mui’s brother is the warden now. Also, in the Ultimate Ninja Storm 4 game, Shikamaru DLC, he does send her lavender, which he says always reminds him of her and when they first met, so something may have been there in terms of feelings. Ino and Shikamaru try to pry to see if he’s in love, when he gets a response, but he shuts them down real quick (“yeah like I would just show you the letter”) and they just agree to let his private feelings stay private and to respect his privacy.

Thank you for the ask

the answer is under the cut XD

I don't consider Boruto fillers canon, I don't even know where did Boruto fans come up with this anime-canon concept from as there were no statements from Kishimoto or even Ikomoto or anyone at all to make Boruto fillers more special than any other anime fillers, so many things that doesn't make sense and are even too silly to be taken seriously are in those fillers so I've never taken them seriously at all, they are what they are, just fillers and as far as I know in canon she's supposed to be there for life so unless she died or Naruto and the other Kages pardoned her, she isn't allowed to leave the prison so until we get any confirmation from any canon source about this she's still the warden... Also, even though Kakashi maintained a friendship with her and they sent each other letters and stuff, as far as canon goes he still never pursued a romantic relationship with her or anyone at that, neither her nor him ever told the other about their feelings, they both kept it to themselves and just treated each other as friends, we're not even sure if they still have the same feelings, 13 years are such a long time and they never took that crush to the next level so maybe they got over it with the years, maybe they were even dating in secret that entire time and never told anyone about it, lol who knows! 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe all those Kakashi fans who betrayed him and voted for other characters because they think they already know everything about Kakashi and those poor other characters need the manga reward more, can come and answer those questions for us now since tHeY kNoW eVeRy tHiNg AbOuT KakAsHi aLrEaDy so they don't need Kishimoto to tell them more about him, along with the story of his mom and how she died or all the 13 years of his tenure as Hokage that we've seen non of it!! 🙄 sorry, I'm still bitter about this 😞

[notsorryiml8]

In Defense of KakaKahyo

Okay, first tons of spoilers ahead for those who've never read the novels, so read at your own risk.

So I've always found shippings and fandoms to be interesing. I say ship who you like, you do you boo. Since becoming a Naruto fan, well, Kakashi fan, I've seen KakaGai, ObiKaka, KakaRin, ObiKakaRin, KakaYama, KakaShizu,KakaSaku, KakaIru, Kakashi x OC, and and everybody has their reasons.

Personally, I do adore KakaKahyo. And someone actually asked me why??! I shouldn't have to defend myself, but hey why not. Granted, it's not the most common ship. And also, the only way people will know about Kahyo is if they read the canon novel, Kakashi Hiden: Lightning in the Frozen Sky. Other than canonically being the only love interest that Kishi has ever given Kakashi (they did him dirty by putting it in the novel only and making it be the only novel never animated, but I digress...), I think they're adorable and a perfect match of power, tension, and mixed up feelings. They have a boy meets girl, boy falls in love/lust with girl at first sight, girl tries to kill boy and everybody else, boy saves girl and the world and puts girl in jail but both still have feelings- kind of relationship.

People are like, but he wasn't serious about her and I'm like did you read the book? Read it, because as that song says, that boy got it bad!

When they meet: "In the confusion, their eyes met. Flowing, curly hair, slightly parted lips, large, moist eyes open in surprise—time stopped for a moment, and the world, to Kakashi, was this woman and nothing else."

When her group is terrorizing the airship: "And then, Kahyo. So that was the name of the woman who owned Kakashi’s heart."

When they fall out of the ship - he just wants to make sure she is safe!: "Even as he was being blown up practically horizontally, Kakashi tried to search out Kahyo somehow."

He can't get her out of his mind, even as he's falling to his death: "The power line finally slipped from his hand, and the last thing Kakashi saw as he tumbled to the earth with Guy was —one woman.” The woman in the long blue dress"...."Dammit… Closing his eyes, he saw Kahyo in that blue dress."

He just wants her to be okay and can't think straight until he knows she is: "The ice created with Kahyo’s Earth Chain Ice bulged out from the sealed gap, threatening to overflow. She was safe. As he breathed a sigh of relief, Kakashi focused his mind."

Then my girl is up there sending him perfumed letters! Perfumed people! That's not just casual hey, how you doing? You're not sending your casual friend or neighbor perfumed letters. And not in the book, but in the game, he sends her jewelry to say "thank you." And gets all kinds of flustered when talking about it.

All I get from this is that when Mr. Hatake falls for that rare someone, he falls HARD and FAST.

And it works if you think about it. He's always afraid of losing those he loves so doesn't want to get close to people. Well, hello, she's not going anywhere! She's not in public, she's not in danger, she's safe because she's confined to one place and she controls that place. He always knows she's safe. She is a safe space for him.

Granted, there's the criminal element. Something about her being a criminal and he's the one that put her in jail and him being Hokage so there'd be dissonance of some kind or another. People say it wouldn't work out becasue he's Hokage and she's a prisoner. Kakashi has never been the most ethical person. He's no angel. Also, they apparently openly communicate as she sends him letters and he writes to her as well (at least in the game). And being that the other Kage visit her, there's no reason he can't. So, he has open access to her. He doesn't see her as a prisoner and neither do the other Kage. She's just seen as the new warden of Hozuki castle. And he's pardoned just about everybody major he's ever put in jail - Sasuke, Kabuto, Orochimaru, for example, and then in Sasuke's books, Kakashi pardons some more criminals because they were deemed useful. He pardoned so many people, Konoha was gaining a reputation for being soft on crime. So, it's a possibility he pardons her at some point.

Anyway, it's not a common or popular ship, though is ironically the most canonical that Kakashi has ever experienced in terms of romance and gushy love, but regardless, I adore Kakashi and Inmate #31707 Kahyo. I mean, I like KakaYu(gao) too, but that's another post.

[tora-the-cat]

Kakashi: You don't have to do the assassination if you don't want to. I know you aren't comfortable with them. Hell, I'LL do it if I need to before I make you do it, kiddo Shikamaru: It's fine. I won't even be the one striking the killing blow- you've got a few ANBU you can spare, right? Kakashi, thinking about a 14 year old who explicitly 'avoids killing if she can': I've got just the elite warrior in mind

[sweetkakashihatake47]

and him saying ..that if he does not succeed in rescuing the people ..if he does not try ..at least ..he would never accept the seat as the 6th Hokage ...pushed him foreward. But the main reason ..why he not even hesitated one second ..in rescuing was the high morals he internally has inside of him. He was again ...all prepared to die ...for the sake of this people. And this is ..what makes him so ...grand ...that he is all times prepared for ...loosing his life. He is not afraid to die!

Kakashi getting to use all types of tech iques to really show off his diversity in skill is just so wonderful

I love having a book where he gets to do that. Kakashi hidan was focused so much on stealth and protecting people who couldnMt protect themselves that Kakashi couldn’t really show off the variety of jutsu he could use (the location of his fights also made that impossible since he didn’t want to destroy the ship)

But this book gives him the freedom to use all different types of fighting styles. To really show off his diverse skill range

I love it

[debbyhalliwell]

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Hi how many months do you think Sasuke was in jail for 2 or 3 months or more before Kakashi become the Hokage and pardoned him

Hi! I am actually a Sasuke jail-denier LMAO.

I refuse to believe that Team 7 would let him be jailed after the war, considering he was directly responsible for ending the Infinite Tsukuyomi and defeating Kaguya, and the only real significant politically-impactful death he caused was Danzo's (and Itachi's), which was probably a favour to Konoha as it is.

Orochimaru is walking free, and he killed TWO actual long-standing Kage, instead of an acting Kage, who no one was in favour of appointing except for a few council members, and who repeatedly acted outside the interests of his village. Kabuto is responsible for the deaths of 40,000 people during the war, and he works at an orphanage?! I cannot believe that Tsunade would jail Sasuke for what he did, and I cannot believe that Kakashi, Naruto or Sakura would let anyone do so.

I know they showed Sasuke in jail for a minute or two in the anime, but it's not in the manga, and I don't remember it being referenced elsewhere, so I choose to see it as the most unfortunate choice of filler rather than a part of any timeline.

So, my short answer is: 0 DAYS!! I think at most he was on probation, by which I mean a collective of village voices were like, "Stay in Konoha pretty please?" And Sasuke was like, "That's fine, all of my ribs are broken and I've got no arm, I need some time off anyway." And they were like, "Great, Naruto is your probation officer (roommate)." And Naruto went, "YAY!"

[evilkitten3]

new revelation from me and @tora-the-cat's routine naruto yellings:

mifune has had more gay sex than anyone else on earth, and has also been on the receiving end of multiple curses from the wives of all the men he's fucked. also witches exist in naruto but they're too busy cursing mifune (and tsunade that one time) to get involved in the plot much

[maybeblueberry]

¿Soy la única que necesita un Hiden de Hinata? Digo, sería muy genial saber qué fue de ella después de la guerra, además de The Last y sus pequeñas apariciones en los otros Hiden. Lo que quiero decir es que tenga un Hiden dedicado completamente a ella, ya que su historia de trasfondo tiene muchos vacíos sin resolver. Además, me encantaría saber como son sus misiones en solitario y más sobre su relación con su padre 🫠.

Am I the only one who thinks Hinata needs her own Hiden? Like, it’d be so cool to see what happened with her after the war—besides The Last and those quick cameos in other Hiden. I just wish there was one totally focused on her, ‘cause her backstory still has a ton of gaps. Plus, I’d love to see her on some solo missions and get more on her relationship with her dad 🫠.

[edai-crplpnk]

Every other day I think about that scene in Sakura Hiden where she thanks Kakashi for supporting her Children Therapy Center project and he's like "Yeah well God knows I understand why we need it" 🥲

[mugiwara-lucy]

I need to read the Kakashi novels again 😅

just sitting here thinking about how incredible kakashi was as a leader even though most people seem to think he was like a placeholder hokage until naruto took over

(spoilers for kakashi retsuden incoming)

listen okay he was hokage for at least 12 years and in that time he not only helped konoha to insanely technologically advance, teamed up with sakura to create a children's mental health clinic but also had time and dedication to develop jutsu that can overpower the element they're weak to

based on the novel, we know for certain that he created a fire jutsu that overpowered a ridiculously strong water jutsu and that he developed a way to make an earth wall resistant to lightning by turning the point of contact into crystal (it's also indicated that he's one of the only people with good enough control to do it)

without the sharingan sapping his chakra and training throughout his entire hokage tenure he also had enough power to hold up an earth wall thick enough to stop cannon fire around an entire village for two straight days

and after all that, he brought down a whole hoarde of hired shinobi non-lethally

kakashi never wanted to be hokage, he didn't think he was worthy of that title, but took it on because his comrades needed him to and believed in him

he dedicated himself to the position and made so much positive change for konoha and for the bonds they forged during the fourth war

people who think kakashi was just a nothing hokage warming the seat for naruto completely misunderstand who he is fundamentally as a person and as a shinobi

okay rant over lmao

[skykashi]

Hi! Did you find the link to the interview you mentioned?

I've searched more than 6 hours for it but I couldn't find that specific interview, however, there's an article written by the interviewer of it and he did mention this part of the interview in the article, the video was linked in the same article but unfortunately when I click at the link now it says "not found".

Also, during my search for that video I found another different interview where the host clearly mentions the novels as part of the projects Kishimoto personally was working on, You can even notice when the translator mentions the novels to Kishimoto too.

But anyway as I said before, a lot of ppl consider that canon Naruto ended at the end of Naruto manga and I absolutely have no issues with that, I believe that they are canon because of the reasons I mentioned here but you're free to have your own different opinion.

[notsorryiml8]

I may be the only one, but I ❤️ KaKaKahyo....

[tora-the-cat]

I need an entire epilouge that's just Ro, Soku, and maybe Sai giving a preformance review for Shikamaru's first S rank mission and Kakashi's just getting gradually more horror struck sentance by sentance. and Soku and Sai are making fun of Shikamau the whole time

[stu-dyingstudent]

recently updated this with far more concrete evidence that indicates Naruto follows the Japanese school system for ages

Sakura is the youngest of team 7

Let’s talk about a hot topic rn in regards to Sakura… the age order of the rookies. Tbh, I don’t think it’s a big deal but I’m tired seeing misinformation going around.

It’s been the common belief for many years that Sakura is the oldest member of team 7 because of the thought that the Naruto universe follows the American school system for age. However, if we use the Japanese school system then she would be the youngest of her entire graduating class.

What is used by many to back that Sakura is older is the information derived from the databook 4 character files. In those entries it follows that Shino is the oldest and Hinata is the youngest of the rookies. Sakura is said to be 17 during the war and Naruto (as we all know) turned 17 at the end of the war. This would indicate a following of the American school system for the ages.

However, databook 1 goes against this information. In this databook, it takes place in the middle of the chunin exams. For the character files it states that all of the rookies graduated at the age of 12 and that all of them are still 12 while under examination for promotion to chunin. Why does this matter? The only way for this to be possible is if it follows the Japanese school system and let me explain why.

In chapter 11 of the Naruto manga, kakashi states that “it’s springtime” during the Land of Waves arc. This whole arc lasts about a month. Not long after they return to the village (about a week) the teams enter into the chunin exam, which, according to Hiruzen in chapter 34, starts on July 1st. In Japan, spring is from March to May and graduation takes place from mid to late March. Furthermore, the Japanese school system works where children with birthdays from April to March of the following year are placed in the same class. This lines up perfectly with the information here as if they graduate in late March then the rookies would be 12 when becoming genin and for the exam.

Now, you might say “well why should we trust one databook over the other?” Well, if you look at databook 2 and 3 it still follows that all of the rookies graduated at the age of 12, which follows what was said in the first databook. The entire timeline of Naruto is very difficult to follow without looking to extreme detail (which I don’t have time or care for). However, the wave arc being in spring is an easy find and sets up the storyline for it to follow the Japanese school system/year.

Now, lets take a look at the novels. We know that The Last took place when Naruto and Hinata were 19; however, no information was given about Sakura's exact age at the time. On the other hand, Gaara Hiden explicitly states multiple times that Gaara is 20 years old during the novel, which is why they are pushing for his marriage in addition to the fact the Temari and Shikamaru and engaged. That later part is important. Gaara is apart of the same graduation year as the rest of the rookies and his birthday takes place in January, which makes him one of the disputed ages. There is a scene in the novel where Gaara calls Shikamaru his "elder brother" on page 122 since he is his soon to be brother-in-law. On that same page, Shikamaru also refers to Gaara as his "troublesome little brother." Now, Shikamaru is born in September, which makes his age confirmed to being in accordance to what we already believe, yet Gaara claims that he is the older one. This follows that Gaara, and thus Shino and Sakura, were born the following year like what is seen in the Japanese school system.

Notice this: Gaara Hiden is written by Ukyō Kodachi, who is one of Kishimoto's former assistants while working on Naruto. He is also the original writer of Boruto until it got taken over by Ikemoto. None of the other novels in the Hiden series are written by him or another assistant. Instead, the rest are by various Japanese authors who are working on Naruto for the first time. Why is this important? Kodachi is the most reputable source when it comes to the information we have gotten from the Hiden novels and he says that Shikamaru is older than Gaara.

Furthermore, let's look at the official timeline of the Hiden novel series, which was released by Shonen Jump. Shikamaru's novel is set before The Last, and in such novel it is said that he is 19 years old at the time. Very shortly after (same time section), The Last takes place and as discussed earlier, Naruto and Hinata are said by Kishimoto in interviews (and based off of Shikamaru's age) to be 19 as well. Then there is a few months break to where Sakura Hiden occurs. It is stated multiple times throughout the novel that it's spring; however, Sakura's age is never discussed. Nonetheless, it is said by Kakashi that Naruto and Hinata are "going to be married soon." From Naruto Mobile, it is said that they officially got married on May 8th, which would be the month that Konoha Hiden would occur.

Note: In the novel of Konoha Hiden (brief ceremony and events leading up to the wedding), there is no mention of cherry blossoms like is seen in the anime and some official art. However, it can be disputed that the wedding took place in spring, which does not affect the timeline I have put forth below.

Akatsuki Hiden, which Sasuke's portion is in the same time period as Gaara Hiden, mentions that flowers are in full bloom. This indicates that it takes place in springtime as that is when such an event occurs. Meaning, it must be the year following Sakura Hiden in order for this to be possible since Gaara Hiden and Akatsuki Hiden are set to take place an unspecified number of months after Naruto's wedding (in summer/spring).

Note: Sasuke's age is not mentioned in either Akatsuki Hiden or Sasuke Shinden, which occur at similar times.

Now, this would indicate that Gaara Hiden takes place a little over a year after The Last. This would mean that Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru are 20 at this time and Gaara would be newly of that age as well. This, once again, indicates that Naruto follows that Japanese system for the ages according to these timelines and still works with the ages in Boruto as those indicate that the next generation wasn't born until the rookies were about 21 years old.

Even with all of this being said, I have seen plenty of people argue that “Naruto doesn’t take place in Japan and therefore doesn’t follow their school year.” Now let me ask, why would Kishimoto, a Japanese man who has used lots of Japanese history and folklore in his series and even said much of the scenery was based on Okayama (which is in Japan), not use the Japanese school year? Why would he use the American system instead? It makes no sense. The only logical conclusion is that Naruto follows the Japanese system and that databook 4 ages were a mistake.

Kishimoto himself has never officially come out to state the age order and there are no direct references of it in the manga. The only thing absolutely certain is that Sasuke is older than Naruto, which we all know and doesn’t help at all. Now, there is one scene in chapter 18 that could give us a clue that Sakura is the youngest, but it’s all perspective imo. Kakashi calls Sakura “our young lady,” which although doesn’t confirm anything, it does indicate or imply that she is the youngest of the team. Otherwise there would be no reason for kakashi to point that out instead of just calling her “our lady.”

Anyway, what I saw rekindle this debate was the apology that Shueisha released regarding some official Naruto merchandise that came out back in 2023. In this apology they admitted to getting the ages of Sakura and Gaara during the war arc wrong and changed the info cards of the characters from 17 to 16. In addition, Sakura's character description (for the war) in one of the Naruto videogames (Borutage) also places her at the age of 16 during this arc. Many fans say that these technically aren't "official" sources to confirm her age, but aside from the databooks, which contradict themselves, these are the only other sources of her age in the war. It's also something to consider that Shueisha went out of their way to make a public apology on the matter and corrected themselves. The databooks have plenty of mistakes, so if they apologized for one mistake then they would have to do it for all. Meaning, it's best if they don't.

Furthermore, you must note that Shueisha is the publisher that Shonen Jump and obviously Naruto are under. This is the official copyright holder of the series coming out saying that Sakura is the youngest.

Also, I have seen some fans say that this illustration was released by shonen jump, but I haven’t found any proof of that being the case. Nonetheless, I will still place it below as it provides a visual for the birth order and you can use your own discretion if you think it’s official.

Anyway, that's my two cents on the matter of age order. Cheers!

[dayseternal-blog]

HI DAYSSSSS, I'm in dire need of a naruhina fic where nothing happens. Post war fluff and daily life, slow developing of their relationship and just kind of like a slice of life!! Thanks ilysmmm 🤍

Hello! It's been a long time since I answered any asks.

Here's one I haven't recommended before, though it's not particularly "slow" development imo.

"The In-Between" by Winterfly - Rated M, Canon-Compliant, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. A slow burn of interactions and eventual relationship between Naruto and Hinata. These moments are meant to take place “In-between” the main story line as the title implies, but also during the blank period. Of course we know Naruto and Hinata probably interacted besides what we have seen, so what would that look like? What’s going on outside the screen? What are they thinking and feeling? Why is everyone so frustrated with them when it’s so obvious what’s in front of them?

Here are most of the Blank Period pre-The Last fics I've recommended in the past.

“secret lovers” by @quirrrky - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, Series of related one-shots. After the Fourth Shinobi War, Naruto was gradually falling in love with Hinata and the whole village of Konoha knew it…Well, aside from him.

“Facing the Sun” by @happyocelot - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata had been watching Naruto for years. What she didn’t know was that Naruto would sometimes watch her back. Post-War.

“To match our strides” by Stonehill - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, Multi-chapter, Complete. During the first winter after the war Naruto decides it’s time to figure out Hyuuga Hinata.

“Itsu No Hi Ni Mo” by OrenjiRabenda - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, Multi-chapter, Complete. No Matter the Day: The story follows Naruto and Hinata during the blank period between the end of the war and “The Last: Naruto The Movie”.

“Tsukuyomi Boyfriend” by @peppercornpresses - Rated G, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Over a year has passed since the great Shinobi War, and people are finally starting to open up about their Infinite Tsukuyomi Illusions.

“Doppleganger” by peppercorpress - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Team 8 meets Naruto’s doppleganger (but not really).

“Something New” by waterrolls​ - Rated G, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Can a clueless boy ever figure out romance? Maybe, and definitely not without the help of friends who have the couple’s best interests at heart. Or, how Naruto and Hinata got their changes in uniforms.

“the becoming of stars” by @matchaball - Rated G, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me. (Pieces of their life from childhood to adult)

"Mission Together" and Chapter 12 from "Orange and Lavender" by ReadingBennie - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, Series of One-shots. A collection of one shots for Naruhina month 2016. Ratings will vary.

“Once and Future” by @kuriquinn - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, Series of One-shots. In the wake of the Fourth Shinobi World War, the survivors pick up the pieces . The road to recovery will be a long one, but the moments in between offer ample chances to reclaim some of their childhood innocence. Feelings connect, friends renew bonds and hearts say goodbye in this series of connected one-shots from the Blank Period. (Light shipping of various pairings)

I think this next one is kind of pushing the boundaries of canon-compliance, but a lot of people love it (I do, too) -

"My Right Hand" by petran - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. As Naruto struggles to deal with life as an amputee, he becomes much closer to a certain lavender-eyed kunoichi. Canonically set in the time period between the end of the 4th Shinobi War and "Kakashi Hiden".

If anyone knows of others, please add on!

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Married, Colleagues, Divorced

This thought would enter his mind: Something about it is definitely different. (Gaara Hiden, Ch. 1) | Ten Days of Tenzo (@tendaysoftenzo) Day 5: Kakashi | AO3 |

                          ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yamato to Kakashi of the Two Normal Eyes: Kakashi. Can I ask you a question...?

Kakashi to Colleague I Think About Such a Normal Amount: Yes, Tenzō?

Yamato: Did you date Iruka?

Kakashi: Why do u ask?

Yamato: Something Naruto said about going on outings with the two of you. Apparently, you even paid. 

Kakashi: We are amicably divorced

Yamato: Elaborate. 

Kakashi: The outings are part of our custody arrangement. The ramen is alimony

Yamato: I understand all of these words but not in this order. 

Kakashi: What’s not to understand. It’s important to model healthy separation for the kids 

Yamato: So you two did date?

Kakashi: No. Next question 

-- 

Kakashi to Standing Tenzōvation: Come sit here

Yamato to Hatake a Bow: I’ll come find you after. We’re going to get in trouble for texting during jōnin council deliberation again. 

Kakashi: I tried talking to u with Anbu hand signals. U said those were too obvious

Yamato: They are too obvious; you should see the message Genma sent me after the last council. Why do I need to sit there anyway? 

Kakashi: I want to eat with u today and if I’m not already occupied after we finish I will be caught in a meeting vortex

Yamato: Comes with the new job-title, Rokudaime-sama.

Kakashi: Not until next week, officially. And I didn’t enjoy any part of that sentence.

Yamato: Well, aren’t you emotionally forthright today? It’s refreshing. 

Kakashi: Does that mean u will buy lunch?

Yamato: You’re the one who just got a promotion. Hokage’s treat? 

Kakashi: I’ll spar u for it

Yamato: You’re on. 

--

Kakashi to Magic Mountain: Soup on your windowsill 

Yamato to Lord Sixth Flags: Thank you. You could come in, you know. 

Kakashi: U need some rest. Plus I have been assigned a mission to have tea with Hyuga-san 2nite

Yamato: That’s a new one. Who assigned that?

Kakashi: Me. 😔 I’ve been told clan relations are my problem now

Yamato: I can hardly wrap my head around you being a politician. 

Kakashi: I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around u nearly getting chakra exhaustion from a spar

Yamato: How many times have YOU gotten chakra exhaustion?

Kakashi: I haven’t kept a count 

Yamato: I have. 16.

Kakashi: That’s not bad. 1.4% of missions. Point is that’s what I expect from me, not u 

Yamato: Give me a break. I’ve only ever fought you when you had your sharingan. I didn’t account for how much stamina you’d have without it. My hospital check-up was quick and painless. 

Kakashi: Easy for u to say, u weren’t awake for the berating when I hauled u in

Yamato: Tsunade-sama or Sakura?

Kakashi: Sakura, thankfully. She still feels bad about hitting me, unlike her shishō

Yamato: Are we in trouble?

Kakashi: Don’t think so. The killing intent stopped after u woke up 

Kakashi: Sakura threatened to abandon her post and become a rogue ninja if we ever do it again, but I have a plan for that

Yamato: Do you anticipate Sakura leaving Konoha?

Kakashi: Not really. But after Sasuke I figured the other two should have contingencies, and I kept adding as u and Sai joined 

Yamato: Are you saying you have a plan for a scenario where all five other members of our team abandon the village? 

Kakashi: Don’t take this the wrong way but I have a 14-step-plan for that scenario

Yamato: Both impressive and concerning. 

Kakashi: That’s what they tell me in ninja therapy

Yamato: You have a therapist? 

Kakashi: Yeah. Don’t u?

Yamato: Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve never been more attracted to you.

Kakashi: Hm. What’s your average amount of attraction to me?

Yamato: I abstain from the question.

Kakashi: 🤔😈㊙️❓

--

Sakura to Team Thanks for Pardoning Sasuke, Sensei: reminder that our new team photo will be taken tomorrow. naruto buy a hairbrush. sensei and sasuke remember to show up on time 

Naruto: i own a hairbrush!! it just doesn’t work on my hair y’know

Sakura: bring it and i’ll help. i’m not breaking another one of my combs

Sasuke: Why do I get lumped in with Kakashi? I’m on time.

Sakura: you missed the last three years of team meetings

Sasuke: Touché. 

Sai: Do Yamato-taichō and I need to do anything? 

Sakura: i think you’ll both be fine. don’t worry too much about what kind of smile you need. be natural

Sai: I will join you early so we can practice being natural.

Sakura: that’s not what i meant. but sure we can get breakfast 

Naruto: me too!!!!

Sakura: NOT ichiraku. 

Naruto disliked “NOT ichiraku.” 

Sasuke liked “NOT ichiraku.” 

Naruto: :(((((((((((( ok 

Yamato: Kakashi and I will both have a meeting about the new housing developments first thing. I can make sure we get there.

Naruto: should u be spending so much time together?

Naruto: i don’t want yamato-taichō to catch ur chakra exaustion again kaka-sensei

Kakashi: For the last time, I did not GIVE Yamato chakra exhaustion. U can’t catch it

Sakura: debatable.

Sai: Sakura does offer medical credibility to Naruto’s theory.

Kakashi: Tenzō, tell them.

Yamato: I haven’t ruled it out.

Naruto: SEE. ur contagious sensei 

Kakashi: I miss when u all found me intimidating

Sasuke: We never found you intimidating. 

Sakura liked “We never found you intimidating.”

Naruto liked “We never found you intimidating.”

Yamato: Didn’t you make them homemade bento on their first day? Not your most menacing tactic. 

Naruto: tbh iruka-sensei and jiraiya-sensei had a lot more rules than u 

Naruto: ur gonna have to work on that as Hokage!

Sai: If you would like, I can pretend to find you intimidating. I’m a very good actor. 

Kakashi: Thank u, Sai. 😔🤘 

--

Anko to Jōnin Gone Wild: @Shiranui Genma, Married, Colleagues, Divorce: Gai, Raidō, Aoba 

Genma: Easy. Marry Raidō, Colleagues Gai, Divorce Aoba

Aoba: I understand

Gai: You have ALWAYS been an EXCELLENT Colleague, my friend!!!

Raidō: 👌

Yamato: What kind of a game is this?

Anko: Kakashi invented it. Something about it being a therapy exercise

Kakashi: Actually, my therapist advised against it. But I’m glad we have a new game. Shizune was 2 good at online mahjong

Shizune: You would be too if you grew up with Tsunade-sama. Also your next meeting is 5 minutes. I’ll bring the briefing when I’m upstairs

Kurenai: You know, as Hokage, technically Kakashi is responsible for all active shinobi. He shouldn’t be allowed to date any of his colleagues

Anko: Hahahah, government-mandated celibacy

Kakashi: I’ve been Hokage for like 3 days and none of u respect authority anyways 

Kurenai: Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?

Anko emphasized, “Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?”

Yamato emphasized, “Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?”

Kakashi: U think I don’t know a trap when I see one

Shizune: He has a picture of gljljLKHGLJ

Shizune: I would like everyone to know that Kakashi-sama grabbed my phone when I was writing that message. 

Kakashi: Aiming for meeting brief. New depth perception with 2 eyes. Talk later bye

--

Yamato to Celibacy Senpai: Explain to me how the game works again. Since we’re colleagues, we can’t be married or divorced?

Kakashi to Comrade Featured in Several GROUP Photos: It���s more of a state of mind

Kakashi: Take for example, if I had u, Yugao and Ibiki. I’d Colleagues Yugao, Divorce Ibiki and Marry u. 

Yamato: That implies you were married to Ibiki before me. 

Kakashi: Would it affect ur interest in marrying me?

Yamato: No, but I’d wonder why we didn’t get married first. We get along more.

Kakashi: We prioritized our friendship over other potential kinds of bonds

Yamato: I think we've got a pretty good track record for adapting. Besides, spouses should be friends. Anyway, none of this answers the question of why you’d suddenly marry someone else.

Kakashi: We were separated by a tsunami. U lost ur memory and I couldn’t find u so Ibiki and I got together so the kids could have another role model

Yamato: How long was I gone before you moved on? 

Kakashi: We co-parented but I didn’t move on. That’s why u and I get married 

Yamato: What if I’m more of a long-term-romantic-roommates kind of guy? 

Kakashi: I’d make that work

Yamato: In the game?

Kakashi: Sure. In the game

--

Naruto to Team Congratulations Chūbu Sai: i went 2 the yamanaka flower shop for plant food after we met up and u’ll never guess what i saw!! u know the bandana guy?

Yamato: Genma? 

Kakashi: Ibiki?

Sakura: Ebisu-sensei? 

Naruto: no. sasuke hair

Kakashi: Izumo

Yamato: Izumo. 

Naruto: yeah him!! he was buying flowers for that other guy. big stick.

Sakura: 🤨

Kakashi: That’s Kotetsu. And? 

Naruto: he was BUYING FLOWERS. for that GUY. for a DATE!!!!!

Sai: Ino tells me it is customary to bring your partner gifts like flowers to show your affection. 

Naruto: I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION!!

Kakashi: Dating Kotetsu? It isn’t. He’s in a relationship. And he’s too old for u

Naruto: DATING A GUY!!

Yamato: Why didn’t you think it was an option, Naruto? 

Naruto: i mean, everyone thinks that way about guys and girls and everyone 

Naruto: but no one DOES IT, y’know

Sai questioned “i mean, everyone thinks that way about guys and girls and everyone.” 

Sai: Is that true?

Sakura: i think this is the wrong chat to ask that question in 

Yamato emphasized, “i think this is the wrong chat to ask that question in.”

Sai: Why? 

Kakashi: I can give u a book that will explain it, Sai. Anyway Naruto, people can date anyone they want, within reason. As long as the people involved like each other

Naruto: anyone?

Kakashi: Yeah. Even more than one person at once. Right, Sasuke? 👨🏻‍🎤

Sasuke: What’s that emoji supposed to mean?

Kakashi: I just like to make sure ur phone is on. 

Naruto: i gotta go for a walk

--

Yamato to It’s Kakamplicated: I’m going to tell him.

Kakashi to Konoha’s Next Top Anbu (Not a Sex Thing. Maybe A Sex Thing): Give him a few more days, he’ll figure it out 

Yamato: …How long did it take you to figure it out?

Kakashi: I abstain from the question

Yamato: 🙄

Kakashi: Fine. 19. 

Yamato: Age or years?

Kakashi: Definitely one of those two things. Next question 

--

Iruka to Senseis R Us: What have you been telling Naruto?

Kakashi: U’ll have to be more specific

Iruka: Why did Naruto say he was going to hang out with my ex-husband?!

Kakashi: What makes u think I have anything to do with it

Iruka: I didn’t say I was talking to you. However, he was going to see your team and I don’t think Yamato-san is responsible for this!!

Yamato: I’m going to leave this one in Kakashi’s capable hands.

Iruka: Kakashi. What is wrong with you?

Yamato: Becoming a chunin at the age of 6, a strangely public black ops career, a possible attachment disorder and some very interesting tan lines. 

Kakashi: That’s the kunai calling the shuriken sharp. 

Kakashi: Also I’ll show u some interesting tan lines

Yamato loved “Also I’ll show u some interesting tan lines.” 

Kakashi: Anyway. I didn’t say much, Naruto was just curious about our history 

Iruka: We don’t have a history?? 

Kakashi: What about when I reupholstered your sofa?

Iruka: Was that... a romantic activity for you?

Kakashi: This is why we’d never work out, Iruka. 

Iruka: Because you text like a member of the cypher corps? 

Yamato: It’s not so bad. His birthday messages are very heartfelt. 

Kakashi loved “It’s not so bad. His birthday messages are very heartfelt.”

Kakashi: Thank you, Tenzō.  

Iruka: Who’s Tenzō?

Yamato liked “Who’s Tenzō?” 

Kakashi loved “Who’s Tenzō?” 

Iruka: This is going on your performance review as an ex-husband.

Kakashi: That’s fair

--

Yamato to Kakashinova: Have you seen my uniform belt? 

Kakashi to Some Kind of Wooderful: I have not. U do keep taking it off every time we eat if that helps?

Yamato: I can’t get used to the placement. But I’ll need to find it or order another one before my next check-in. You know how they are about item counts. 

Kakashi: U can use one of mine if u want 

Yamato: Your black belt which has Rokudaime Hokage stitched on the inside? I’ll pass, thanks. 

Kakashi: I don’t know why they keep putting that on everything. But u can’t see that part while ur wearing it anyway. It’s the same belt 

Yamato: Yes, but the Anbu would know it was your belt. I get enough heat for how much time we spend together as it is.

Kakashi: Favouritism?

Yamato: More like wisecracks about holding a torch for you. 

Kakashi: Haha why. Do you have a crush on me, Tenzō?

Yamato: You know the answer to this one. Next question.

Kakashi: What makes u think I know the answer?

Yamato: You’re the smartest person in this village. And we see each other every day.

Kakashi: We all have our Shodaime’s nipple

Yamato: Some of us more than most. Let’s try a different question. How many times have we kissed each other?

Kakashi: 7. 9 and a half if u count missions 

Yamato: Where are you getting the half from?

Kakashi: CPR

Yamato: Ah. So, in those nine-and-a-half moments... You didn’t have any suppositions? Inferences? Lessons gleaned from experience? 

Kakashi: Four and a half of them we’d need to discount for recall, and the last few are harder to report on due to observer bias

Yamato: The observer bias in you gauging my romantic feelings.

Kakashi: Yes

Yamato: Because you would like?

Kakashi: You

Yamato: Me to what?

Kakashi: Long-term romantic roommates, eventually

Yamato: Oh.

Kakashi: Yeah. Do you mind?

Yamato: No, I don’t mind. Maybe we can start with dinner and a walk first? 

Yamato: And Kakashi? I long-term romantic roommates you too. 

Kakashi: That’s a funny way to ask me on a date. 💘 See u in an hour?

Yamato: It’s on.