#käärijä is also my favourite act this year

[sparflamme]

I love that they keep playing cha cha cha by käärijä for the podium ceremony

[ars-theurgia]

Anarchy & Apathy (things we should probably learn from Eurovision 2024)

(tl;dr – a review of the voting process is critical; Croatia should have won)

It’s a rare year that sees a consensual Eurovision winner. It is to be expected – the contest is not only a competition of musical taste, but also of musical identity. There is more than simply genre, melody or vocals at play, as these are often filtered through the lens of national sensibility. At face value, a stereotype of geopolitics; at a deeper level, the actual cultural wealth of each European region. 'Our neighbours', etc. To which of course, theatrics and gimmicks are added, in the hopes of standing out from the rest of the crowd.

This is what makes, or should make, watching Eurovision a positive experience. Which this year, failed spectacularly on all counts, leading to a problematic, underwhelming and polarising edition, derailed on Thursday night and crashing its way through apathy and anarchy all the way to the grand final.

Apathy, because it seemed to want to get away with being apolitical. Anarchy, because it failed to carry out apolitical acts.

And from each side, its worst attribute, resulting in what feels like a bland and uncomfortable watch.

This year, Eurovision attempted (and in my view, failed) to manage itself by allowing too many paradoxes to take place. Glaring inconsistencies, arbitrary exclusions, aloof silences, inability (or lack of desire) to address core issues and legacy accusations – a broken code. A program in error, glitching and ineffectual, all under the symbolic and literal guise of “neutrality” – which doesn’t stick. And worse, seems to negate the actual positive aspects of the show, this year neutralised themselves.

This isn’t to say Switzerland did or did not deserve the win – the voting conditions of both jury and public are clearly stated, and in theory were applied. The jury voted, the people voted, and the winner was chosen.

But unlike other years where a similar pattern of voting distribution could be considered ‘curious’, and where ‘the safer song’ wins over the public favourite – see Käärijä 2023 – this year’s jury results feel unjust not only to the runner-up, but to the vast majority of contestants. And by extension, the viewers.

Stage presentation was ignored (see UK for the extreme example, and Ireland for a less radical, visually incompatible result).

Vocal performance was ignored (see Norway’s Gunnhild/Gåte for the extreme example, along with Portugal’s Iolanda; Germany’s Isaak, possibly the strongest vocalist in the competition this year; Israel’s Eden Golan for the complete disregard of vocal ability over nationality).

Radio-friendly potential was ignored (see Luxembourg’s ‘Fighter’, Cyprus’ ‘Liar’, Italy’s ‘La Noia’, Austria’s ‘We Will Rave’ even).

Resulting once again, in a surprisingly cohesive jury vote that deems Switzerland’s ‘The Code’ as the winner, over the fifth place that the public attributed it.

Being neutral is not the same as being objective. And while objectivity is difficult to gauge in a contest where musical taste and national identity (not to mention global politics) are part of the formula, there is a case to be made for the fact that Eurovision and the EBU’s passivity and top-up decision making reflects poorly on the Eurovision experience.

Recurring discrepancies between jury and public voting should be addressed. Because a jury’s role (in Eurovision and elsewhere) should not be of neutrality, but of objective action.

In objective action, a contestant cannot be excluded without a proper justification, to date only explained through vague declarations and heavy speculation (see Netherlands).

In objective action, and in a self-identified democratic continent, the people’s paid vote should inform the winning result over a closed group of juries (see Croatia’s disproportionate second place).

In objective action, rules must be enforced equally to all contestants (see Ireland, who had to remove part of their presentation, vs. Portugal, who was allowed to show a message through nails).

And in objective action, microphones should not be silenced; contestants must be allowed the freedom to be judged by the people listening, and not on what the EBU determines should be judged.

Until that’s learned, processed, addressed, reformed – why watch for disappointment?

[jossun-kyyneleet]

My mixed feelings about Mic Mac

So, Mic Mac is one of my favourite songs by Käärijä (referred as Jere from now on), at least when considering the lyrical aspects of his discography. I really appreciate how much Jere shows self-reflection and even a more vulnerable side of his in this song. I also love the shout out for his grandma and her fresh baked “pulla”: it reminds me of my own grandparents and how I visited them as a teenager after school before I went to my art school and writing classes.

However, while Mic Mac takes me back in time (pun intended), it also brings some hurtful memories to my mind. I had moved to a new city a year before I went to the Finnish upper comprehensive school (”yläaste”). I had left two very dear friends to my old hometown and though we managed to be in touch for a couple of years, the distance between us grew too long and our paths gradually separated. I did make new acquaintances with whom I would spend time during classes and breaks, but these relationships never blossomed to real friendships. I would even say that I self-sabotaged myself: I feared that I would lose these people too and thought I would protect myself by not letting myself get to know them better and vice versa.

And then there were the hockey guys (“lätkäjätkät”) of my class. Most of the time, things were quite neutral between us, but me being that nerdy, emo-ish, teacher’s pet kind of girl, made me an easy target for them to bully. I may be exaggerating when I use the word “bully” (I know many people have had and are having things way, way worse than I did): the lätkäjätkät would usually just tease me for my excellent grades and such. But one day, one of them (who I’d thought to be the nicest guy of the group) said a very hurtful comment about my appearance to me face to face. After 15+ years, I still remember this comment, and while I’m now able to laugh at it for its absurdity, I can’t deny that it still hurts me a little.

For many years, I felt somewhat bitter and dismissive about boys around my age. Fortunately, I never turned to a total asshole towards them, thanks to my brother (who’s roughly a month older than Jere): he showed me that not all boys were childish, inconsiderate idiots. And now, Jere has shown this for his part. Listening to his music and interviews has made me realize that the lätkäjätkät have had their own hardships and have grown as people (at least I hope so). I don’t know if the lätkäjätkät of my class remember me at all or have ever regretted how they acted towards me. But when I hear the lines “Poden vielki morkkist - - / niist muutamast katkonaisest muistosta ne vielki hävettää / Ei muisteta pahalla / ku tuut vastaa unohdetaa menneet ja halataa” of Mic Mac, I think them as their apology to me, verbalized by Jere for them. And I feel ready to forgive them.

TL;DR: Mic Mac is a song I listen to with bittersweet feelings.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #04 & #03.

04. BELGIUM Gustaph - "Because of you" 7th place

Decade Ranking: 11/116 [Above Måneskin, below Monika Liu]

HOED BEZIG DADDY!1!!1!1!!

Another wonderful example of 2023 gaslighting doing its work - I decided around April last year that Gustaph could get a top 10 and because of the, um, reception he got online, I gaslit myself into thinking 10th was his absolute ceiling. Maybe, maybe on the cusp of left side?, I thought.

In reality:

Remember when they tried to break him? Well look at him now :-)

I love a good underdog arc and the best arcs are served with casual Surprise (not rly) Top Tens, defeating the underwhelming fanfave beasts along the way. There WERE murmurs by certain fans about how PUZZLING it was Gustaph got a SEVENTH PLACE (often lumping him in with Alika, Vesna and Voyager) over TeyaLena and Blanca and (mild cringe) LaZarra and (megacringe) Iru. WHY IS IT A TOP TEN SONG? Here's a question babe. Why was it not a top six song? This is what finished ahead of Gustaph:

Let's see: A boring default winner, Käärijä, evil nepobaby with the worst song ever, italian himbot with a some song, pulpy tiktok nonsense, miserable ukrainian song about the war. What A Wonderful Top Six, how could anyone like Belgium enough for top ten.

Fortunately as the months ticked by, the sensibles concluded that yes, "Because of you"' slaps and is iconique. Which is ofc, the conclusion I reached before the liveshows😘 Yeah okay that's supercilious of me, but I'm living the moment, let me have it, okay! Seeing the light took less time for me because granted, I am Belgian (and worse, Flemish) so I always have to convince myself our entries work if I like them (lmao tough luck Mustii!!), and when they work, they work, you know. "Because of you" IS Eurovision to its very core:

A CHARISMATIC LEAD WITH A GREAT VOICE AND A MEMORABLE STYLE

AN UPBEAT BOUNCY TUNE CELEBRATING A POSITIVE NURTURING TOPIC

A GREATLY STAGED, VISIONARY ACT (which is mandatory nowadays)

ADD SOME ░P░ U░S░S░ Y░I░ N░B░I░O ░ 

(and the not unimportant accolade of being the new jingle for misja eurovision...x)

It came together better than Imagined. The live was a meteor shower of slays and serves. Daddy slayed, his hubby that made the graphics served, the girls slayed, PussyServeCunt slayed AND the jury rightfully served up three twelves (including the Greek one lmaooo - pwnt Andrew!!) to commemorate this beautiful triumph over prejudice, pettiness and internalised homophobicuntitude. His hecklers can touch grass by faceplanting into it.

This was the best Belgian entry in a long time. Easily the best one since the terminally underrated Blanche (who is still the best winner we've never had) and that is good grief, already six years ago? Seven after the current contest? We were overdue for a good result.

Anyway, this was an erratic write-up, but honestly, I don't feel like I need to explain much anyway. Gustaph rose from an act most people pretended to dislike from an entrant that is universally well-regarded and beloved by both the fandom and critics. If that is not a satisfying growth arc, then I don't know what is. SERVE, HAT KING, SERVE.

in sum, see you in Antwerp for ESC2026 after we win it with a GUSTAPH x MEROL collab...x:

-------------------------------------------------

03. SLOVENIA Joker Out - "Carpe Diem" 20th place

Decade ranking: 7/116 [Above Barbara, below Daði]

:GASP: Only third?! Boris how could you - shush shush bish calm ur teats, my opinion on Joker Out has remained completely unchanged. Maybe that's the point? "Carpe Diem" is still probably my favourite 2023 track. On-curved indie rock with on-trend styling, what is this? Almost too good for the contest, that's what.

MI BOMO CELO NOC PLESALI LUBILI SE IN SE IGRALI KOT DA NAS JURTI VEC NE BO

And well, let's also be very clear here - Joker Out lived up to exactly what I wanted from them. It's one of those entries that does exactly what it says on the tin (see also: Pasha). The older I get, the more I appreciate the Actual Songs in Eurovision for their reliability and "Carpe Diem" was a really good song. Three minutes of unbridled indierock fun, that quickly turns addictive if you're not careful - it does get better than that, but it's a high bar that not many other entries pass. Besides, the live was you know, living up to my expectations and that's worth a lot in 2023, where most acts let me down. It was a joy to watch. Bojan devoured that live -

but it still felt like a group effort, as and the rest of the gang more than pulled their weight. Jan and Kris as the silly foils to Bojan's seductive self -

and Nace and Jure (who can both so get it 👉👈) as the two who would whip up the crowd making "Carpe Diem" well and truly feel like the concert that it was.

THEY WERE FUN

THEY HAD "RIZZ" (i really hate this word btw - or rather i hate how ESC.tv used this word to appear "cool" 🤢)

AND THEY HAD A TRUE EUROVISION LOVE STORY

(it is still wildly amusing to me that my two preshow favourites entered a bromance so electrified by reciprocal, yet unfulfilled sexual tension it felt like watching a Basement Yard Podcast 😍 Bojan x Käärijä 5ever💚)

So yeah, this was just all sorts of excellent, really. Ofc, 20th place is um... really disgusting and outrageous, specifically for an entry that brings me so much joy, but hey that's democracy for you. Results are being decided way ahead of time so the people with godawful taste that lead happy lives feel like they are relevant, or summat.

However, Joker Out didn't lose Eurovision 2023, they won it. Out of everyone, it was their fanbase that grew the most after the contest ended, so much that they're now considered a welcome staple at ESC preparties, alongside the likes of Daði Freyr, Go_A, Senhit and Anna Bergendahl, which is not a bad line-up to be a part of. They'll be back as Slovene reps in a few years, hopefully with a more immediate song and will do significantly better. 😁

Finally, yes, Slovenia went from first to third on my ranking, but eh. I figured out quasi immediately after the finale that my top 3 would be Czechia, Finland and Slovenia, and figured out just as fast that Slovenia were third in that equation. I hope it's been made clear that my feelings on Joker Out just stayed the same, while Vesna and Käärijä were subject to positive morphs, and the novelty of those arcs is worth a splitscreen ending.

WILL IT BE THE GREEN FIN OR THE PINK SISTERS?

it was actually... a very, very close call. 😲

THE RANKING

[because-its-eurovision]

do you think we finns get to send another rock act to ESC next year? 👀 we've been doing so well with BC and Jere but I feel like we never get too many in a row before people just forget what our strengths are and try to send in another ballad 😭

Based on the hints UMK shared about the participants of next year, there’s going to be at least one rock act involved so I’d say there’s a fair chance it gets picked. It all comes down to the entry itself though, and a good song is a good song regardless of genre. At this point I don’t credit our success that much to certain genres as Cha cha cha was something we’ve never seen in Eurovision before, but to choosing whatever we (the Finnish public) like. It has proven that we’re not afraid to vote for bold entries - Lordi, PKN, Erika, BC, Käärijä, not to mention UMK second-placers Teflon Brothers & Portion Boys - and lately that has also paid off.

Heavier entries are usually my personal preference as well and I do think that is still what we're best at. Still I’d love us to send something really ethnic-inspired (think Ukraine 2016/2021, Montenegro 2015, Czechia 2023), perhaps even in a Sámi language, or a gorgeous Finnish-language ballad. I don’t accept ballad slander here 😤 Pernilla, Norma John, Ilta and Lxandra were all amazing (Norma John would’ve qualified with televote only) and my dream would be to see something like Lautturi or Missä muruseni on from us.

You don't have to be afraid though since Finland hasn't gotten behind any ballads in UMK after 2017 when Norma John was the only reasonable choice since the early favourite Emma messed up her live. In 2020 Aksel won thanks to juries and Erika's live wasn't convincing though she eventually did win the televote.

Personally I’m more afraid of lukewarm pop entries (we can never beat Sweden in that territory) or trying too hard to be Eurovision-appropiate like Saara Aalto and Darude did, without really understanding what the contest is about nowadays. Thankfully UMK seems to be finally going to the right direction as every performance last year was visually incredible and contest-ready, and got rid of the ridiculous clichés like dresschanges. I have very high hopes and faith in UMK team for the first time ever and I can’t wait to see what they deliver next year 🥰

[umazane-muesli]

Jukebox January: Day 1

This is a tag started by @esskuesli ! Here is the info :)

I know it's past midnight in my timezone but uuuuh please let's pretend it's still January 1 and I'm not late (or let's pretend my lateness is totally intentional in honour of birthday boy and notorious late boy Jan Peteh)

Also I hope you won't mind, I kind of want to bend the rules a little bit... there are things that I want to include on some days that are not songs (but still start with each letter), like albums, genres, etc. I hope that's okay.

I included some spotify links for convenience but it's limited to 10 per post, so not all songs have them, sorry.

Anyway, here's my list for today:

A sem ti povedal - Live from Arena Stožice by Joker Out

Considering the nature of this blog, I just had to kick this off with a Joker Out song. I love both the studio and the live versions, but in honour of the concert movie (which I haven't watched yet lol), here is the Stožice version with the beautiful trumpet intro.

Aikuinen (feat. Vinttikoira) by Käärijä

Aaaaand here is a Käärijä song as well, of course. Aikuinen is one of my favourite of his songs, both for the music and the very relatable lyrics (or at least their translation, I still don't speak Finnish).

Avalanche by Leonard Cohen

A good portion of the songs I listen to are because of some other brainrot, be it tv shows, movies, books or anything else. Honestly you could track whatever I've been obsessed with in any given year just by looking at what Leonard Cohen song is on my spotify wrapped (his songs are good for soundtracks, what can I say). This one was used in Our flag means death, but also it's just a damn good song.

Look, is this a bit cringe? Yes. But is it fun to belt out while drunk at some lame village party? Also yes. It's a classic 80s French song (if you grow up in some rural swiss village that didn't know rap existed until like 2005 you'll know a lot of those)(yes i'm exaggerating a bit but still)

While we're on the topic of slightly cringe, I don't listen to them anymore, but shoutout to 15 year old me who was doodling little aliens everywhere because of this album. It's gonna be okay buddy I promise.

Literally nothing I love more than a good overdramatic 80s power ballad. Hell yes.

I love this song and also I have a little bit of a soft spot for Paulo Londra (even though I know nothing about him other than his music) because he's from Córdoba (Argentina) where I lived for a little bit, so it reminds me of good times :)

I used to listen to Charlie Winston when I was much younger and honestly his new album is a banger, I've enjoyed getting back into his music.

A Curious Thing by Amy Macdonald

This is not a song but an album, and it's very dear to my heart. Amy Macdonald is one of the artists I've consistently been listening to for the longest. I love all of her albums, but A Curious Thing is one of the first albums I bought with my own money as a teenager, when I went to London with my mom. It was the first time I was ever on a plane, so now every time I fly I listen to this album. Very silly ritual, I know, but I still do it.

And now a bunch of miscellaneous songs about which I don't really have anything to say but I still enjoy:

[ryttu3k]

2023 playlist! For some earlier years, here are 2022, 2021 (with other stuff), and 2020.

Måneskin (CW for flashing/strobing, especially on the Sydney versions) - Don't Wanna Sleep, Gossip, Own My Mind, Mark Chapman, Gasoline, Honey! (Are U Coming?) (Sydney version), Off My Face (Sydney version) (aka their album Rush! came out, although some of my favourite tracks, like Mammamia and La Fine, came out last year or earlier so I can't actually count them for this year since I've been listening to them since then… anyway)

Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha, also incl. this cover by Lord of the Lost, this combined version, and this mashup with SHUM

Voyager - Promise

Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Main Theme, Skydiving, Colgera Battle, Master Kohga Battle, Construct Factory, Demon Dragon, Last Catch *muffled sobbing*

Go_A - Rusalochki

Good Omens - The Theme That Got Left In The Car

Queen - Seven Seas of Rhye (1991 Remix)

Baldur's Gate 3 - Down By The River (and this cover and this cover), I Want To Live (and this cover), Song of Balduran (Alternate), Bard Dance (and this cover), this one battle theme, this specific cover of Raphael's Final Act

Aaron Smith - Dancin, entirely due to this video

Duran Duran feat. Victoria de Angelis - Psycho Killer

Måneskin & Dolly Parton - Jolene

Doctor Who - Fifteen's Theme

Favourite single track: Måneskin - Honey! (Are U Coming?)

Favourite track that made me bawl: Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Last Catch (although honestly I was crying from the moment she appeared in the last battle. I cried relistening to it for this post)

Favourite music event: Måneskin in Sydney I will not be normal about this

Favourite track I listened to sixty times in about 36 hours: Doctor Who - Fifteen's Theme

Most Remixable OST: Baldur's Gate 3

[ailidh08]

My Eurovision 2023 Finals Top 10 As Someone Who Has Never Watched Eurovision Before

10. Cyprus

I don't have strong opinions on this one, it's just a decent song. I almost swapped this one out for Isreal because I appreciate the girlboss energy of that one and I like Noa's performance more but I think this song is just more to my taste.

9. Moldova

I was kind of baffled the first time I saw this one but it's grown on me, especially since it's my best friend's favourite. I'm 90% sure they're attempting to summon a demon with that performance and I'm digging it. That guy absolutely goes OFF on that flute.

8. Switzerland

okay look I know everyone hates this one and I get it. It does feel a little cheap and pandering but I just like the vague Arcade vibes. At this point I think I'm just loyal to it because it was the one of the first songs this year that I began to recognise. The irony of the guy from Switzerland singing that he doesn't want to go to war is not lost on me.

7. Slovenia

I don't think I need to say much about this one, everyone loves Joker Out. Bojan can hmu if he decides he's over Käärijä.

6. Finland

Speaking of Käärijä, I did NOT like this song at all when I first heard it but I succumbed to Stockholm syndrome and it's now a certified banger in my books. I was drawn in by Käärijä interviews and I can't help but like him now. CHA CHA CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA CHA

5. Australia

Australia absolutely popped off with this one. Their staging is absolutely fantastic too. Showing up in a fucking car in the best act at the end of semi 2 was such a powermove. My inner Australian patriotism jumps out whenever someone mentions Voyager. I kind of want them to win because the idea of Australia winning Eurovision is so fucking funny to me and they have definitely earned it this year.

4. Sweden

I feel like everyone either loves or hates this one. I am definitely in the former camp. Loreen is an extremely talented performer, she's absolutely ate every performance so far and Tatoo has some of the most eye-catching staging. That being said, I do think this song is slightly overrated as one of the favourites to win and given that Loreen has already won Eurovision I absolutely do NOT want this one to be the winner.

The top 3 can be completely interchangeable, there's a chance that I could vote for any of these tonight.

3. Czechia

This song. I absolutely adore the message of female solidarity and sisterhood in this song but the song itself is just fucking epic. It sounds like it should be the theme behind the climactic battle in a movie or something. I don't know how to explain it but the chorus almost moves me to tears every time. I don't think this one is going to win but I would be very happy if it did.

2. Ukraine

This was the first song from this year that caught my attention. It's probably the closest in style to my actual taste in music and it's been on my playlist for months so I definitely feel some kind of loyalty to it. You can just feel the defiance and resilience in this song and it feels very genuine and raw. I only found out recently that Heart of Steel references a real world event where the Ukrainian army defended the Azovstal Iron and Steel Works against Russian forces. The rehearsal they showed for Heart of Steel has me slightly worried that the Finals performance won't live up to my expectations but I think the message could be enough to get them the public favour.

1. Norway

I have been listening to Queen of Kings non-stop over this past week. Norway has been on my radar since I started listening to this year's lineup but Alessandra's performance in that first semi-final really blew me away. The raw power and girlboss energy of this song is just so -ugh. I think I might be in love with that girl. I also do think she has a good shot at winning it all and I hope she does.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.