#just. people should be able to not know everything about a topic and not be ridiculed for it
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Messy love triangles….
Leona x reader x riddle mayhaps⁉️
Ranking a singular twst love triangle on how messy it is
An: The more I write for Leona the more I find this man hilarious. Who knew petty men were this funny to write about?
Gn reader x Riddle, Leona
Trigger warnings: Swearing
900 words
Riddle vs Leona
There’s people that you wonder how they have beef. They’re not opposites, they’re not too similar, but there’s something that doesn’t quite click with them.
In the case of Riddle and Leona, their beef is over you.
Riddle is a fool I tell you. He might be a great student, he might be Mr perfect in anything and everything pertaining to stuff your parents would be proud of, but he is indeed a fool.
He will, very loudly and stupidly, call you his good friend to the Heartslabyul dorm while blushing up a storm as soon as you’re less than 10 feet away from him.
You were commenting in passing to Ace and Deuce how the history of magic assignment is really hard? There comes Riddle in the next morning carrying back breaking books on the topic, with sticky notes color coded to how important he thought that information was.
Did you complain about not being able to sleep properly? Riddle has brewed you a potion that is said to help sleep and prepared a brochure with every habit of yours that is making sleep evade you.
And yet he is not using the evidence to reach a sound verdict. He is instead looking pretty stupid and/or overbearing to everyone around him.
Trey and Cater are laughing their asses off at the interactions between you both.
If it was someone else it could be heavily considered that they were faking it, but it’s Riddle after all.
Mr. Lionman is, like always, emotionally constipated as hell.
Leona might be lazy as balls, but he is no idiot. He’s actually rather brilliant and also not blind, so the moment he sees Riddle interact with you, it’s on sight.
Verbally that is. Leona isn’t that trigger happy with people that he could snap like a twig.
He probably already suspected Riddle's crush on you just by hearing you talk, which he did in fact make an effort to stay awake for, but actually seeing the red short stack turn into a human prawn would piss him off sooooo bad.
This man is incredibly petty. He has never once actually tried in his classes, but seeing as that would make Riddle mad, he’s showing up at 8:00 am on the dot to every class and scoring 100 after 100 in every test he can.
Meanwhile Riddle’s jaw is glued to the floor.
He doesn’t really understand why Leona is rubbing his successes in his face, which does piss him off, but what pisses him off the most is how Leona is showing it off to you too??? How dare he!
Riddle should be the one that comes to you with his perfect tests, offering help all gentleman style.
Treys sweets are another weapon in Riddle's arsenal, but Leona is indeed a cheeky bastard that practices the age old “all is fair in love and war”.
Ruggie is going to be very busy making sure those sweets taste awful, and also trying to feed you with stuff “Leona” made.
Speaking of Trey, he’s going to have to make a decorated cake saying “You like ____” for his housewarden. Otherwise man will stay in the dark.
It is shocking news to Riddle once he figures it out, while everyone else sort of just… nods their heads and pretend it is such riveting new information.
“Trey, I have delved deep into my psyche and have reached the conclusion that my feelings for ___ aren’t exclusively platonic.”
“Oh, really now, Riddle?”
oH reALly NoW RiDdLe
Leona is also a contender for the most obvious crush on campus to those that know him.
Ruggie and Jack probably have a bet going on when Leona will confess. (Jack thinks it will be when the sun explodes. Ruggie is more akin to the hypothesis of the heat death of the universe coming first.)
Riddle is the one most likely to confess.
He believes in doing things the proper way so confessing is the way to go.
Man is redder than his hair and holding a script he wrote.
It’s really sweet actually. Riddle isn't some romantic bard of legend, but he writes down his feelings in the best way he can: with legal jargon.
Leona’s sixth sense is activating and he is running to match his rival.
Once again, metaphorically. He can’t be bothered to actually run.
He is putting his head on your shoulder, whispering into your ear…
“I know you like me, herbivore.”
Hell no! This man did not spend the time he did around you and planning how to get your attention to turn back around and say it’s you who is in love with him! Step on his tail or knee him on the groin cuz he deserves it.
For a Leona love triangle, this one isn’t that bad. I’d give it an A.
Any love triangle with two overblot boys tends to be really messed up, even after said overblot, but Leona and Riddle don’t have that much prior beef that turns the love triangle into a biohazard.
Leona will have his good ol inferiority complex to keep him company if rejected, but he doesn’t feel like he is in that much direct competition with Riddle, which spares him some of the heartache that a love triangle with Vil or Malleus would give.
Riddle will be haunted by his perfectionism and romantic stupidity if rejected, but he’s one of the more stable post overblot boys, so you don’t have much to fear. Probably.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#x reader#kyusbow#leona kingscholar#riddle rosehearts
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Take I haven't seen in the fandom yet:
Luka doesn't want to be freed.
"Now, MirrorCatCreditcard," you may say, "that's nonsense. Any human would want freedom from that system."
If you're thinking I'm gonna convince you that Luka doesn't know he wants freedom yet, you're wrong. I'm here to talk about indoctrination/conditioning, grooming/emotional manipulation, my own experience with those topics, and how all of the above connects with Luka as a character. If a deep dive like this is too much for you, please tap out for your own sake.
Luka's life was planned before he even existed. There has never ever been an alternative option. There is no life for Luka as anything but what Herperu chose. Everything in his life has been planned to have him be the perfect pet human idol. That is what he must be.
Fandom, I don't think most of you actually understand this and have dissected what this means (shout-out to the Luka stans who are getting there/have guessed similar things). These words we know have alternatives and are not set in stone are Luka's "gravity makes rain fall to the earth" and "water makes things wet." They are facts so deeply ingrained within him that even if shown the contrary he remarks that the person showing them is just disillusioned.
Take his commentary on Mizi and Hyun-A in the art book. He looks down on Mizi for not being able to control any of her emotions. How does he talk about Hyun-A? He has her at 70% affection yet shows a patronizing attitude—she's the one in denial at reality.
Now, how did we get here? How is a human so "delusional" and set in the control?
He's been conditioned.
Some of you don't know what I mean by this from experience and/or research, and count yourself fortunate that you don't. I pray you never experience such things firsthand. Don't worry about ignorance. Familiar or not, I will explain.
When you are surrounded by only one truth and reality, that is the way you interpret life. If a parent tells a child "the moon goes to sleep during the day," until the child learns otherwise, that's what they believe. Now take that child-like belief and add some toxic environments to the mix. With time, any other kid would learn that the earth rotates from their peers or adults around them. But if the creatures around them all say and believe the same thing "the moon goes to sleep during the day," then that is what the child continues to believe. Years of that same thing being the only truth make that false knowledge into a fact in the person's head, and everything that supports that fact is taken as truth or on the right path to truth.
"This is kinda silly though," you guys are no doubt murmuring, "All of this is a hypothetical. Give us something that makes sense or that someone could actually see happen in our society."
I'll give you my own experience then. My parents taught me that God is real. My parents taught me that I will be damned I do not follow the commandments of the scriptures. I didn't need to worry though. As long as I was obedient to the God who loved me and wanted what was best, I would be saved despite being born an awful sinful human. I was homeschooled, only interacted with people of similar beliefs, and taught that people too different from me in ideology or with radical beliefs against my own were trying to harm me and my family. I believed the people who raised me because why would people who love me lie to me? My task was simple. I needed to obey God and love everyone, especially them. Love meant giving up my entire being and living only as servant and sacrifice. After all, being selfless to the utmost was the greatest form of love.
Let's go back to Luka. His guardian, Herperu, when questioned about any surprises while training Luka, stated not only that he was the one who endured the "tough moments" but also that "(Luka) owes his success to me, and naturally, he should be grateful." This sentiment is echoed by Luka in his interview (shown on Patreon). My god, it's giving parents with disabled kids who brag on social media about how much trouble their kid is and how much they do for them. Sickening. This shows exactly what environment Luka has lived in though.
When you are manipulated into having something as your reality, everything else is fiction and delusion.
Let's review what exactly is Luka's reality.
Heperu is the one suffering if Luka has any difficulties being obedient.
Gratitude is what Herperu is owed because he goes through so much trouble to make Luka a star.
Love/care is shown by owning another's autonomy.
Emotions and bodily reactions exist, sure, but someone should be able to control them; and if they can't, someone should control those reactions for them.
Segyein are superior and the good ones for dealing with humans. Humans must be disciplined and shaped to how an segyein wants it to act to be considered deserving of this goodness.
(Luka)'s perfection is defined by his guardian.
Luka's life is directly connected to being the perfect performer. His guardian praises his abilities with the statement that no other pet human will ever be as perfect as him yet leaves an underlying threat saying that it will be no good if a pet is not trained properly. This has probably been mentally (if not physically) beaten into Luka's mind: his greatness doesn't stop him from being able to be disposed of. The human instinct to want to live has been explained to him as Heperu's wish for him to live and that has been further distorted as a duty to live for the stage he has been placed on.
Luka believes fully that there is a debt in play here. In his interview, he mentions repaying love. He thinks the relationship between fan and idol is completely normal, encouraged, and healthy. Performance is the most important thing. Being where he is is a privilege.
There's a chain here:
Heperu indoctrinated Luka into believing what he says is all true.
The guardian manipulated him easily to do what he wanted with his body and mind.
The years have been spent constantly conditioning Luka to be the god who encapsulated fantasies for the audience.
He is continually being groomed to exist for the entertainment and enjoyment of segyein.
Circle back to my first point of this post. Luka does not want to be freed. He doesn't know what freedom actually is. He sees freedom as either foolish denials of reality (and doesn't consider that actual freedom) or as controlling the song and stage when he performs (something he learned from Hyuna). He cannot want something he cannot understand. He cannot want freedom in the sense the fandom keeps speaking about.
It's funny. From the moment Luka was revealed to be hated by the fandom, I wanted to know why. Instead of digging and finding horrific deeds, I instead found a character who portrayed my own traumas and experiences. I instantly attached and delved deeply into learning about this thirty year old singer. Why does he express himself in a certain way? Where do we first see mention of him? Who does he have emotions towards? How was he trained? What makes Luka himself? I have past essays/replies to other's theories if you're interested, but in this one I got personal and didn't sugarcoat the facts. If the fandom can't handle deep thought, we shouldn't be discussing this incredibly profound and depth-filled web series.
As always, thank you for your time, and I hope my thoughts allowed you to open your mind to new things. Mostly, I hope you enjoyed them 🫶
#alnst#alien stage#alnst luka#alien stage luka#luka alnst#luka alien stage#alien stage analysis#alien stage theory#alnst analysis#alnst theory#tw trauma#tw conditioning#tw manipulation#tw abuse#we're dissecting the following triggers btw#in cass you're wondering#take care
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A lot of this fandom can't cope with the fact that this show is horror. Anytime there is something unpleasant that happens on the show they can't deal and just lash out at everyone instead of sitting with that discomfort and thinking about it. You are supposed to be uncomfortable. But they need every unpleasant thing to go away and it just speaks to how sheltered they are that they haven't had to deal with anything negative in their lives until they watched a fictional show. A lot of horror movies use violent imagery and themes of abuse to highlight problems in society. If that isn't something people are comfortable with, they need to learn to make a choice to stop watching. Being hostile towards the fandom that is emotionally mature enough to handle this content isn't going to change the direction of the show. Those things are already on the show even if you are ignoring it. And the final season is likely to make those concepts more direct. So if people can't handle a conversation online about it, they need to understand that they aren't going to be able to handle watching it. There is no amount of tantruming that is going to change the genre of the show or stop people from noticing these things. They are meant to be noticed. There is this bizarre idea that only an evil, sinister person would ever read/write anything with darker themes. Its a very naive and sheltered take to have. This combined with the fact that so much of this fandom is flat out hostile anytime someone knows better about something than they do. Doesn't matter if someone has years of experience with a topic, they are supposed to pretend to be in the same place as the younger people in the fandom because they get insecure and upset if someone's knowledge and experience leads to better ideas than theirs. It's fucking ridiculous. Not everyone on here is in your peer group. Take the opportunity to learn from people who know more than you. People are coming at this show and the topics involved from a variety of different places and life experiences. Simplifying everything and claiming everyone who disagrees with you is sinister in some way is annoying. Learn to cope. You can't control other people or the conversations they have. It is increasingly obvious how much of the younger part of this fandom cannot handle watching this show. They need to separate themselves from the fandom because they made it their whole identity. The parasocial relationships and ownership over fandom conversations are all totally out of line. This fandom does not belong to you. It's for everyone. And if you can't deal with that it's not the place you should be. Every single time someone does a call out of perceived bad behavior that person is the issue, not the one they are calling out. Every time. It is also just not anyone's responsibility to call anything out. You aren't a fandom cop. People aren't even actually angry they just think they are supposed to be and want their followers to know they are against something.
Just FYI.
If you send a mean spirited ask implying things about me in bad faith I won't acknowledge you. Instant block. Please do something better with your time and reflect on why you're perceiving others so negatively.
#I feel like this behavior is coming from people who never heard the word no in their lives#They just throw a tantrum and get what they want#anytime someone makes them slightly uncomfy#It's no one else's responsibility to make sure you are comfortable with their conversations#least of all internet strangers who don't fucking know you and aren't responsible for your emotional wellbeing#Some people really need to learn how to deal with discomfort better
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thinking about that one ask about claire getting into genetics/biology as a child but shes literally an ivf baby. i think biology would be a natural curiosity to her
#oc: claire swanson#claire was perfectly manufactured. everything about her was carefully planned#from her birth to her childhood#to her teen years to her first undergrad#her parents had a vision for her life even prior to her being gestated#i don’t mean this only from her fathers side but also her mother living vicariously through her as a child actress and stuff#i think that’s an interesting part of her character#to always have other people Having Ideas About You#i think she only realises how weird all this stuff was and how much it impacted her/how she approaches her relationships/how she seesherself#when she starts planning her own family and she’s likes oh. okay this is weird. this is not even a person yet#okay going off topic from the original post but it’s funny how claire escaped her fathers determinism just to fall into her mothers#neither of them truly saw her as a person you know. an individual. and that’s a pattern throughout all of her life with diff people#because all of these people have an idealised view of her and she’ll never be able to compare to it. because it’s not real#and it leads to frustration. and her incessant need to Prove Herself. she needs approval#i should make a post about this actually maybe#claire is so free but she’s actually so restricted. and she’s not even aware of it#claire literally dates her professor the man’s job is to grade her. this is not subtle. she is not subtle with anything ever#anyway. claire is a lab baby. she was made in a lab. she’s a frankenstein#let’s dissect her
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haven't had to make one of these for a while...
um okay anyways i'm not doing too hot mentally today!! so i'm gonna take a break for tonight and ask that you please send me Foul Legacy asks (or Arlecchino. honestly i'll take anything at this point) because lord knows i sort of need them
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#it actually started last night and it is better today but i'm still tired#i was lonely last night and then my brain decided to go whoopsie! here's The Dread!#if you know you know#it was sort of like being on the outside watching people have fun and not being able to join it#because you either can't relate or are uncomfortable with it#and then it made everything Kick In which makes me just sort of pretend to be fine#like someone commented this morning that i seemed more subdued than usual#and instead of saying yeah sorry it's The Dread i was like oh shit i need to act happier#now what that says about meee ahaha we're not going to think about that#honestly i think there's something i should leave#NOT THIS BLOG IT'S NOT HERE I PROMISE#but i used to be comfortable in that place and now it's just. full of people i don't really know#and full of topics i don't understand or like#and i can't say anything because that'll make me look like an ass#and everyone else has something worse than me going on so i really don't have a right to complain#uhhh anyways if you've read this far no you haven't this doesn't exist#/j i love you guys very much#anyways send asks i need comfort from my two favorites#wifi demands talk
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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This is exactly why I called it “breaking my silence.” Because no one who has a criticism about Con can ever voice it without being called a bully. Because I know for a FACT that there are people who don’t like his rendition but pretend to because they don’t want to get jumped on. Like I’m sorry that I wanted to vent. About a thing that drives me crazy. And that apparently you all took that to mean “I have the only right opinion and everyone who disagrees is stupid and wrong.” Sorry for not slapping every other sentence in my original post with “this is my OPINION btw”, because it was for venting. And idk about you, but when I vent about something, i dont exactly worry about everyone taking everything I say completely literally because it’s VENTING.
YOU even mentioned expression under "there is so much more to singing then just being able to hold a tone", this is again more a question of taste so you’re welcome to a different opinion but you have to get over the fact that TO ME and a lot of other people Cons vocal expression is great and just makes me FEEL things.
That's fine, you're allowed to have your own opinions. Music is subjective. To a point. But I can tell you that I personally was never very good at being expressive in performances, and you can bet I got notes on it. And if I had performed the way Con did, I absolutely would have gotten notes on expression, breath control, diction, pronunciation... I don't think it's too much to expect that a professional actor who is getting paid to do this to actually excel at it. Especially since it's prerecorded. And I assume they would have done multiple takes. You're allowed your opinion, and you're moved by his performance. I'm allowed my opinion, and I wasn't. And I listed the things that I would have liked to see done better (or done at all) for me to like the performance. Again, my opinion.
not even a vocal trainer?, your "source" is “I took singing lessons”? Everyone can do that, that says precisely nothing about your own qualification.
Again, this was a vent post, I wasn't really expecting anyone to interact with it, I didn't realize I need to give an outline of my education and experience. It also was a bit of a joke that apparently you missed.
Being a classically trained vocalist is miles away from “I took singing lessons.” It’s the difference between saying “I can speak on biology because I have a degree in biology” versus “I took biology classes.” It means that I’ve been trained in vocal techniques like mouth placement, tongue placement, breath support, posture, projection, vocal balance, etc etc. I’m not trying to sound superior, I’m just trying to say that I know more about this topic than the average person. Is a geologist being superior by citing their degree in order to speak on a geology-related subject?
“then don’t read it! How entitled are you to think that every fanfic author in this whole entire fandom has to agree with your taste in music? Don’t like it? Don’t fucking read it”
Yeah I generally don’t. But I can’t exactly avoid it when it’s not really something that can be tagged??? It’s something that tends to just pop up in fics??? And I wasn’t actually saying that I think everyone needs to bend to my whims or some shit. I was expressing something that annoys me. In an overly exaggerated way. Not every sentence needs to be taken literally. Like if I said “ugh I hate nuts in brownies, brownies should NEVER have nuts in them” I’m not actually saying that everyone needs to stop putting nuts in their brownies because I said so. I’m saying I don’t like nuts in brownies, this is how much I don’t like nuts in brownies.
“‘I’m not saying that Con doesn’t deserve this one’ -except you literally just DID”
I didn’t. I said that people win awards who don’t deserve it all the time. I said that to indicate that having won an award for something doesn’t necessarily give credence to an argument, in general. Not necessarily to this particular situation. I didn’t fucking say Con doesn’t deserve this award. I said maybe he did. I don’t know because I haven’t seen it, and I don’t really want to tbh, but I don’t have to see a performance from 40 years ago to critique a performance from last year. Like I said, voices change. Skill levels change. Especially if you’re not actively working on keeping them up. I don’t know what Con’s vocal practice looks like, or if he even has one anymore, but I can tell you my personal opinion on this performance, based on my own education.
It’s not hateful to vent about something that bothers me without specifically saying that this is my opinion on it, and we’re allowed to have different opinions. It’s not hateful to outline the reason something bothers me. If you interpreted my tone as being superior or aggressive or “everyone should have my opinion”, whatever that means, then fine. I don’t care. I do care about being called a bully when I was venting about something that bothers me, speaking generally into the void of the internet, having tagged it appropriately as a critical post, not expecting anyone to interact with it. That “don’t like don’t read” goes both ways. Don’t like a post, don’t interact. Just block and move on. The block is there for a reason.
Okay I’m breaking my silence. Con’s voice is not good. His rendition of La Vie en Rose is bad. And grating. And his French pronunciation sucks. Sure he can hold a tune, but there’s so much more to singing than that that he doesn’t have, or isn’t trained in. Timbre. Intonation. Expression. Resonance. Breath control. Source: I’m a classically trained vocalist.
There. I said it. If I see one more fic talking about how beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/whatever Izzy’s singing is, I’m going to throw something. Surprising is fine. Because it was surprising (and out of left field) for Izzy to sing. But beautiful, it ain’t.
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ok but the thing is that "hurt" is an adjective, verb, and noun. so the linguistic poeticism is still there, albeit in a slightly different way. yes, "hurt" as a description of a person's state holds true across tenses because it is indeed an adjective, but the fact remains that it's a lexicologically interesting word! personally, what i find really neat is that "hurt" is both an intransitive verb used for the person being wounded and a transitive verb for the act of wounding someone. it's an intriguing concept to think of pain as something that draws connections between people. something that weaves together victim and perpetrator in some inseparable way. that you can't hurt someone without it changing you as well. idk what exactly that says about pain as a human experience, and it's a lot of using imagination and metaphor to extract and extend meaning from language, but it's still fascinating!
#also hot take the culture of dunking on people for mistakes for the sake of likes or reblogs is a toxic part of this website#and the whole internet in general tbh#like#of course people make mistakes. not everyone has spent hours researching linguistics.#that doesn't make them stupid#your knowledgeability of grammar doesn't make you intellectually superior#maybe your pretentiousness about it actually just makes you unkind#just a thought#op was just excited about the idea that even words capture the lasting nature of pain#you don't need to belittle them and stomp on their joy just because they made a syntactical error#you can tell people they're mistaken without being a dick about it#and i LOVE linguistics and connecting with other language nerds getting overly excited about the magic of words#but having that as an interest doesn't make me inherently better than other people?#i'm not god's prettiest little princess just because i get excited about lexicology more than the average person#and all of this would still be true even if “hurt” wasn't a cool multipurpose word!!#just. people should be able to not know everything about a topic and not be ridiculed for it#horribly cheesy middle school posters were RIGHT bullying isn't as cool as you think it is#ok this post about yay words has turned into an overarching critique of the lack of human empathy and grace#time for me to shut up#linguistics#languages#language stuff#lingblr#my thoughts
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I mean yeah dude no kidding she’s better when she eats, because that’s how humans work
Dude is in DENIAL and I am just so tired of it. I’m looking forward to talking to grandpa when he calls me so that I can get an update, because… sigh. I just want broad strokes. I mean yes a shitty update is an update but is it really better than no update? Idk.
Our energetic friend happened to call last night and since her mom also died of cancer and also had a brain tumor, it was especially meaningful to have her tell me for the umpteenth time that whatever decision I made re: seeing her is the right one. If someone who adored and cared for her mom in her final days says that… I mean, I KNOW it’s true, but coming from her I believe it.
Idk man. I want my mom to be at peace. I want her to die. She wouldn’t want to be like this.
#I bet she’s going to die while I’m in Nashville#I should text grandpa and see if she’s drinking anything because I think that’ll be a big clue#idk why death is scary#especially in situations like this#like. maybe I have a skewed view on it because I’ve been suicidal multiple times#but regardless of what your brand of spirituality believes happens it has to be better than this#death is an ending. it’s sad for the still-alive people! that’s reasonable!#but for a person who’s not going to get better and has no hope of going back to a fraction of their past self?#for someone who doesn’t respond and sleeps a lot and is already shutting down?#nah. death means you don’t have to struggle anymore#you don’t have to be changed by your partner and be embarrassed that your kids know you’re incontinent#you don’t have people talking down to you#you don’t have everything you talk about questioned or get asked questions like boy do you remember living up in Washington#you don’t have to have uncomfortable topics hidden from you or be talked about while you’re still in the room#you don’t have to have invasive questions asked about you#death—honestly—sounds like a relief after all this#and knowing how FIERCELY and OBNOXIOUSLY independent she was#and how she HATED asking for help#that alone… she would fucking hate this. she DID hate this when she was still able to do things on her own#but now? please just let her die.#like idk man this isn’t a family who believes that any of US are going to hell#everyone who’s religious believes everyone is going to heaven#and those of us who aren’t just want her to be able to have this end#like sorry mom I don’t know if you can be buried in the cemetery with your mom and the baby who died#but if you can’t be then I’ll have you cremated and figure out how to get your ashes spread up there#it’s the next best thing.#I hope you’re not hanging on just for me mom.
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I've been musing a bit on that one post that went around during the recent holiday season, to which someone added their family tradition of Present Practice. My god! Imagine actually telling kids what behavior is expected, instead of expecting them to intuit it and punish them when they get it wrong!!
Separate post because this topic is a little tangential to that, but I think it does a great job of unearthing one of our very well-hidden internal biases, which goes as follows:
Good people don't need to be taught.
A good person (in this case, a good child) shouldn't need to be told to be gracious and grateful when given a gift. A good child should just know that a holiday tradition of gift-giving is a social performance to strengthen family bonds and that personal preference or genuine reactions are secondary to that performance. A good child should just know how to value gifts, how to express thanks, how to praise and compliment. No caretakers in their lives should need to put any effort into instructing or modeling these things.
Good people should just know how to be good. If they were really Ontologically Good, their inherent goodness would simply intuitively guide them to correct behaviors. If they can't do that on their own, in a vacuum, in the absence of cues, that's a sign of their inherent moral lack.
.
.
...Which all sounds very reasonable and obvious, and surely a mistake that only fundie christian families would make! Except that people in the social justice sphere also do this all the time. It's not anybody's job to educate you. It's 2024, how do you not know this already? If you were a Good Person, you wouldn't need to be taught. You would simply intuit the correct philosophies and gravitate to them according to your superior internal moral compass.
If you were a Good Person, you would already know that everything you were taught by your family and/or background was wrong. You should have rejected it already. You should have cut off your family, your heritage, everything about your childhood and upbringing that was Bad and Wrong. You should have known it was all a lie.
If you were a Good Person, you should be able to find the correct way yourself. You should be able to seek out the proper educational resources, and distinguish them from bad advice leading you astray, and make sense of them all according to your own internal moral code.
If you were a Good Person, you would have found your way by the proper, dignified, official channels, not by reading a comic or watching anime. You shouldn't need entertainment or art to guide you. You should just know.
And if someone can't do these things on their own, in a vacuum, in the absence of cues, that's a sign of their inherent moral lack.
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Part 2 here!
'Fuck.'
It had been just two nights since you'd given him head in the dark of his dorm room, and Bakugo hadn't been able to rid his mind of the sensation ever since.
He knew it was stupid to even agree to it. You were the one girl in class he felt comfortable enough to talk about anything with. Be it grades, his fears and even more sexual topics. It also helped that he knew you wouldn't ever judge him for anything.
You were his closest friend; more so than Kirishima. And he liked that... he liked that he has someone he could trust with his life, someone he could relate with so effortlessly.
And you felt the same way with him. You told him everything; every little secret, every dirty detail, and he never laughed or judged.
Which was why you both were in his room, many hours past his bedtime, sitting opposite each other on his bed as you recounted your most recent almost-sexual endeavor.
"-and it was so awkward cause it was just hanging there in my face and I didn't know what to do." You groaned out, with your body hunched over, face covered with your palms as you recounted your experience in the school's storage room with a General Studies boy you'd been seeing casually.
Bakugo chuckled at your demeanor from where he was. "Yeah then maybe you should have stopped him when you saw him undoing his fucking belt."
You glared at him through the cracks between your fingers.
"Seriously," he laughed. "If you didn't wanna give him head, you should have told him the moment you entered the closet."
You groaned and fell back unto his bed. "The thing is I want to do it."
You turned your head to stare up at Bakugo.
"So why didn't you?"
You groaned again. "I don't know. I mean... look, I wanna be able to make the guy I like feel good, you understand. And I really thought I wanted to give him head, but then he was pulling his jeans down- and I was getting cold feet and then he pulled down his boxers and I wanted to run away right then....
"But I pushed through- and I got down... and it was just staring at my face and-"
"Maybe you just don't wanna do it." Bakugo raised his brow, cutting you off from your rambling.
You frowned. "Maybe. I mean, I think about giving head...and I wanna do it, and then I get an opportunity and I panic. You're probably right."
There was silence for a moment, before Bakugo shifted in his position, pulling his knees higher up, closer to his body, and leaning his forward.
"Or maybe... you don't wanna do it with him."
You furrowed your brows. "Meaning..? I don't really like him or what?"
Bakugo shrugged, "I mean, do you?"
You began sitting up. "Don't I?"
"Come on, Y/N." He raised a brow, giving you an unimpressed look, "You don't even text him unless he texts you."
"Yeah because he's always texting me."
"See! You even say it like you're frustrated." Bakugo jutted his arms out at you.
You paused, sitting up and pondering it.
Bakugo groaned. "Listen, I know you, okay? You- frankly, you're horny... more so than most people-"
You scowled at him.
"-and the fact that you don't even let him put his hands under your fucking skirt most times should tell you that you're probably not all that sexually attracted to him."
You stared at Bakugo, eyes narrowed as you began to see his point. "I guess you're on to something."
"Look," he began, "I honestly think you're just with him because of how aggressively he pursued you. And that's fucking dumb."
You pouted. "I guess... so now I have to find someone else to practice head with."
"Why do you wanna learn how to give head?" He laughed.
"Cause the girls were talking about giving head one time and I wanna be able to join in conversations." I groaned out, exasperated, and flopped back unto your back.
Bakugo took a moment to look you over, before adjusting his shorts and clearing his throat.
"I can give you pointers if you want."
Silence.
"What?" You mumbled, sitting back up, with your weight on your palms and narrowing your eyes at him.
He scowled at you. "I'm not repeating myself."
You rolled your eyes and hissed at his stubbornness. "You idiot."
"But..." You started slowly. "If you're offering to give me tips on sucking dick, I don't mind."
He shifted a bit. "Yeah... well- it'll only work if you're sexually attracted to me. If not, it'll just be like with that guy earlier- and shit would be awkward." He was looking away now.
"Wanna find out?"
And that was how he found himself heaving against his headboard with his shorts and boxers flung at the far end of his bed.
"Shitshit- fuck Y/N."
His hands were fisted into your hair, knees raised in the hair and thighs spread on either side of your head, as you laid on your stomach before him, nose pressed into his dark blonde pubic hair and lips wrapped tightly around his dick.
His eyes were blown wide, lips parted as grunts forced their way out his mouth.
It was just bordering on too much; the sensation of your mouth, and he'd suddenly realised how seriously you'd taken his analogy.
-"Consider it a bottle of smoothie or something, and there's that chunk that can't pass through the bottle mouth properly, so you're trying to suck it out." He'd said, holding his already hard dick against your cheek.
"That sounds stupid, Katsuki." You retorted, as you scowled up at him.
"That's the best I got, I ain't some sex therapist, okay!"-
"Oh shit- you're good," he groaned out, head thrown back and thighs quivering. "Fuck- fuck! Fuck, you're fucking good, baby. Just like that, yeah..!"
His grip on your hair tightened, pushing you down on his dick so he could feel the sliding of your tongue on his shaft as he dipped into your throat.
It didn't help that you were drooling all over him- and yourself-, your hand cupping his balls and squeezing softly.
He was going into overdrive, thrusting up unto your mouth, his eyes rolling back as he slipped down your throat over and over again, and he moaned as he felt you gag, your throat constricting against his tip.
He brought his head forward to peek over at you.
"Slut," he groaned out, eyeing your positioning; one hand infront of you, playing with his balls, and the other stretched underneath your body, fingers dipping into your sleepshorts. "You fucking slut- you like this shit, don't you?"
You moaned around his dick, vibrations coursing round his veins and your eyes looking up to meet his; lids hanging heavy and pupils blown out as you sucked on his cock.
He came heavy- hard. With spasming thighs and choked out groans as he spurted his seed down your throat.
It was a lot... too much. He kept spurting out his cum and his sight was blurry as he looked at you.
Now he couldn't look at you without remembering your stupid, fucked expression when you were between his legs. And it's weird, because all you're doing is grinning an Sato as you hover around him whilst he bakes.
It's stupid. He knows it is.
You don't even like him that way.
Part 2 has been posted here!
#bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#mha bakugou#bakugo smut
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You never let me in, Buck sends, two of three sheets fully winded, and when he kicks his leg over the coffee table he nearly knocks over three empties.
They do this thing, right? Buck gets upset and before the tears can fall, because he's cried too many fucking times already, he makes himself angry. Picks at something that has come up every time he's done a post-mortem on the last six months.
And then he sends that shit to Tommy. Because - because who the fuck else is he supposed to talk to about it? The guy who'd sucked him off in the hallway of a nightclub two weeks ago? The woman who'd spent an hour quietly helping Buck understand that yeah, he was very much bi, and yeah, some people did not like that shit? Maddie, or Chim, or Hen or Eddie, who still might interact with him on the job? Bobby? Fuck, not Bobby.
Bobby who'd blinked at Buck and offered platitudes and apologized to Buck like it was somehow his fault Tommy was good people but he was the kind of good people who just walked out on something that could have been something.
I should have pushed more. I know I should have. I just thought since I was trying to share everything, you were too.
My mistake.
Three months and Buck isn't over it. He's far enough into the mourning process that he thinks this one is always gonna sting, and not for the reasons Tommy thinks.
That's not fair. I'm sorry.
The texts get delivered. Tommy reads them. Buck's had read receipts on since the first time Tommy went quiet on a call and Buck freaked out a little - but back then they were still working towards something. Back then, sometimes Tommy would pull out his phone and open the thread just to give Buck sign of life.
He was always doing that. Heading shit off at the pass.
Buck had just never realized he'd be able to do it to hurt him, just as well as take care of him.
Every four weeks like clockwork Buck gets a response. He has no fucking idea why it's four weeks, what the third Thursday of the month has to do with Tommy feeling gracious enough to give Buck some clarity. He'd never known enough about Tommy, is the thing he's coming around to. He'd done everything he could to bring Tommy in, make him a part, and Tommy had let him. Tommy had distracted him with quippy words and a clever tongue and with being so fucking willing to be integrated into Buck's life that Buck just - hadn't noticed.
No one will say it, but he Bucked It Up in the worst kind of way.
He's waited until Third Thursday to send these texts. He actually hasn't sent anything at all, until this moment, and he wonders if Tommy noticed. If he cared. Tommy picks and chooses from Buck's random thoughts, parses out details like he's reading from a manual and Buck is off topic two thirds of the time. Buck doesn't actually know why he's been answering, all this time. He wonders if, in the last four weeks of silence, he thought he was finally done with Buck.
He wonders if it had hurt.
Buck sets his phone down to stand, skating across to the kitchen in his socks for the pizza rolls in the oven.
His diet is shit. His body feels like crap. He's one more drunken nights sleep on the couch away from emptying the rack in his fridge down the drain and giving sobriety a try. The last person he'd slept with had hinted that they'd prefer not to use condoms and Buck had almost let them.
Buck has worth. He knows he does. It's just sometimes when he remembers that every person he's ever loved has either walked out on him or let him walk away when he needed them, he struggles to find that worth.
His life has meaning, and all that jazz.
Buck sort of wonders if Tommy hasn't finally blocked his number, as he tosses a too-hot pizza roll in his mouth and huffs on the lava cheese burning his tongue. After the last message Buck had sent, three weeks ago, he wouldn't exactly be surprised.
(This is basically just an unhinged grief journal with an unreliable second narrator. Do you know what it's like to realize you're still in love with someone who never let you know them?)
There's been no response to that. Fair. Buck hadn't even actually said the words. No, he'd jumped right into the sharing a life part, cart before the horse as always when emotions were high.
The pizza rolls get tipped onto a plate and are immediately swimming in the heavy pour of ranch he'd prepared after he set the oven to preheat.
It cools them off a lot quicker than popping a hole in each seam and waiting.
It's been eight years since Buck has really even thought about that little trick.
When he opens his phone there's no response. No receipt. Just stark words waiting to be acknowledged.
I gave you my family, Tommy. You didn't even introduce me to your team at Harbor.
It's startling to realize after the fact. He doubts Tommy had meant it that way, but he'd basically spent six months being love bombed only to have the rug ripped right out from under his feet.
And yet. Months later and he still wants to know. Know why. Know how he could have done it, with tears in his eyes, with full awareness that it was already gonna hurt. Know Tommy - anything he'd part with, really, that wasn't something every random acquaintance also knew.
Cool, he'd been jealous of what Buck and the 118 had. (Buck had tried to give him that. Or at least he thought he had.)
Great, he didn't talk to his dad and Gerrard was a shitty captain. (Buck had spent an hour once explaining the first time he and his dad had spoken about Daniel without screaming at each other. Tommy had listened to the rants about Gerrard and offered physical comfort and a 'sounds like him' and Buck had just been so relieved to have an ally amongst the 'life is just like this sometimes' crowd that he'd never examined that.)
He was a Kinsey six who'd been engaged to the first woman Buck had ever really loved and they'd never dug deeper than that.
And Buck had apparently interpreted some of the shit he'd said that night wrong, but he still doesn't think it's fucking fair that Tommy can't trust him to know his own fucking mind well enough to know he hates sleeping around and he'd found the sort of connection he was looking for. He'd found it. Even with the lack of reciprocation. Even with the quiet behind Tommy's eyes that he'd never let Buck in on. Even with the -
His phone buzzes on the coffee table.
Can we talk?
Buck kinda hates those words in that order now. They'd been the start of something twice, but they'd always been leading to an end, if Tommy had his way.
Once every four weeks, apparently, Buck sends back and takes a vicious bite.
His phone chimes with an incoming call.
Buck stares at the name he hasn't had the stomach to remove the little heart from. Lets it ring through to voicemail and then shoves three more pizza rolls into his mouth and doesn't care if they burn off his taste buds.
His phone rings again.
"What?"
"I'm outside your building. Didn't want to make any assumptions that I'd be welcome without asking first."
Buck can feel his ribs cracking under the lurch of angry laughter. "What the hell?"
"Well the parking around here is miserable again, so I figure that's a sign."
"Are you driving right now?"
"Hands off. I'm on Bluetooth. So. Should I circle the building a fifth time or call it now and go home?"
Buck gets stuck on fifth time.
There's no way he hadn't been driving since at least before Buck sent that first text.
Buck sighs. There's absolutely no reason to be hopeful about that. For all he knows, Tommy has just decided dousing any residual flames is just another thing he has to do in person.
"My Jeep's in the shop. I'll buzz you into the garage."
Tommy's silent for a long, long moment. The quip comes anyway. "I keep telling you that thing is a money pit."
"I'm not really feeling the flirty banter, right now, Tommy, so maybe just let me know when you're at the gate."
He does. He hangs up the phone twenty seconds later with a plain "See you soon."
Buck doesn't have time to change. Fix his hair. Hide the sheet pan with half a dozen pizza rolls still laying on it, because he'd cooked way too many again.
(He could absolutely do one of these things but if Tommy's gonna throw this at him, he's getting every little slovenly habit Bucks's picked up since he walked out that door.)
The knock comes while Buck's shoving the last two rolls on his plate into his mouth.
He's still chewing with his mouth open to blow out the steam when he swings the door open, and Buck feels the first inklings of pleasure ripple through him at the sight of Tommy.
He looks like shit.
"You look like shit."
Tommy's brow ticks up. He stares pointedly at the glob of not-cheese that's going to absolutely ruin this sweatshirt.
"That tends to happen when you spend an hour in an armchair two sizes too small picking at trauma you've been hiding from your therapist for six years."
Buck opens the door wider. Holy crap. Tommy might legitimately be more fucked up than Buck.
Tommy's smile is strained. "Can I come in?"
Buck holds his gaze. His eyes are a little red. He's got a red spot along the side of his neck, like he's been rubbing at it. Buck only recognizes it as a comforting motion because he's replayed him doing it half a million times right before he ended things.
"Depends. Is this the last time you respond to my mean, rude, asshole texts for an hour after therapy rubs you raw?" Third Thursday Therapy, is apparently what does it. Buck is - god. He just wants -
"God, I hope not," Tommy says, and Buck takes a step to the side to let Tommy in.
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Dr kry x nurse reader
Like imagine nurse reader was college student wanted to be a nurse to learn some medicine or help people sick and taking care old people
Sea sick
Doctor!yandere OC x nurse!reader
Summary: being the only one to be granted as Dr Kry’s apprentice on board a hospital ship ends in tragedy
Warning: yandere, sinking ships (fictional ship and incident), poisoning, indirect killing, mentions of dead bodies and autopsies, blood, sharp objects
Word count: 8k
A/N: a lot of people hav wanted a story where darling is a nurse and I have tried writing it so many times over a year, but haven't been able yo. So I tried changing location and it seemed to work, so it is not exactly what was asked, but I hope that it is enjoyable anyway!
He stands on the promenade deck, watching out over the harbor, breathing in the fresh air. People carried on stretchers catch his eyes.
He used to get sea sick during his first weeks out at sea. There was something about how the ship rocked back and forth during the stormy days that made his stomach turn inside out and want to eject the food he had eaten. But now that he's been here for three months, it's barely noticeable. He hasn't thrown up for three weeks. A new record.
He has grown to like the rocking motion of the sea, but doesn’t care much for the people he shares the ship with. The female nurses try to invite him into their cabins, the male nurses fight over who will be his apprentice and the doctors either watch him with jealousy or ignore him. It’s only for a few more months, until he has saved up enough money. Until everything is over.
They’ve just picked up a town hall full amount of wounded soldiers and new nurses. Doctor Kry has heard that his new trainee will be among them. He scans the crowd of people walking towards the gangway, trying to guess which one will be his to deal with. He hopes that they are obedient — he has no interest in scolding them — and that they aren’t stupid.
“Watching the fresh blood?” a voice asks.
He turns to the side to see one of the other doctors coming out to look at the new herd. Doctor Hart is an asshole, always in everyone’s business. One could almost think that he was getting paid for it.
“You could say that”, Doctor Kry replies shortly.
“How many dead, do you think?”
Doctor Kry let his eyes wander over the crowd below.
“Fifty, maybe”, he says.
It’s a cruel game, he knows that, to guess how many won’t survive the trip to the mainland. But he doesn’t know how to converse with the other doctors unless he joins in on their sad games.
Sometimes, he plays with the nurses out on deck. There’s all sorts of games tucked away in boxes, ready to be taken out whenever.
“I heard that your trainee will be among those”, Doctor Hart says and nods down at the group of waiting people. “Who’s the lucky one?”
“I don’t know”, Doctor Kry replies shortly and stops leaning on the railing. “I should go find out.”
He doesn’t wait to hear the reply. He’s not sure where to go for his trainee to find him, but he decides to go to his cabin — if not to be at a static place, then to get away from everyone. Him getting a trainee must be the only hot topic they have.
He navigates the white naked steel corridors to get to his cabin. It’s hard to believe that this naked ship should be covered with polished oak panels, golden details and expensive paintings. None of that can be afforded to be lost, in case the ship is sunk.
They have lifeboat drills every morning to make sure that everyone on board knows what to do. Since they rotate staff often, those drills need to be done. They’re boring, but handy.
The ship is nothing more than an empty shell of what she’s supposed to be, stripped of anything that gives her personality. All that’s left is bare necessities, nothing for pleasure.
He opens his door and walks in. The room is small and only contains a bed and a desk, the walls bare steel. It has a rectangular window overlooking the forecastle and he can’t help but think that he has gotten one of the best cabins on the ship. He knows that doctors, officers — both military and ship — and a handful of passengers, get better cabins than the wounded or nurses.
Doctor Kry sits down by the table and opens his notebook to write. He has time to finish two pages before there is a knock on the door. It’s a drastic knock, as if the person on the other side of the door is either nervous or eagerly excited. He stands up, not knowing what to expect as he opens the door. Outside stands a young thing, with their hands clasped in front of them. You take him by surprise. You’re not what he expected — but then again, what had he been expecting?
“Are you Doctor Kry?” you ask.
“Yes, I am”, he replies.
“I’m told that I am your apprentice.”
He lets his eyes wander over you. You seem so … small? You’re younger than he had thought, and there’s something naive about you. He can’t help but wonder what events has led you to end up here.
He realizes that he can’t have you standing out in the corridor forever and steps aside, gesturing for you to come in. You walk past him into the small room and look around.
“You have a better cabin than I do”, you say with a small — nervous — laugh, as if to bring some kind of humanity into the conversation. It’s as if you want to skip right past the awkward small talk. You grimace. “I have to share a cabin with five others. We only have a small porthole.”
Doctor Kry closes the door.
“What’s your name?” he asks.
“Oh, sorry”, you reply quickly, eyes widening with realization. “Y/N.”
Doctor Kry can’t help but tug at the corner of his lips.
“Are you always this light-headed, Y/N?” he asks.
You look down in embarrassment.
“No, doctor”, you say. “I am just nervous. I haven’t done anything like this before. Sorry, doctor.”
“Sit down.”
You look around for somewhere to sit and end up on his neatly fixed bed. Doctor Kry sits down on his chair by his desk. You fiddle with your hands in your lap as your eyes follow him.
“You’re going to be my trainee, which means that you have to listen to me at all times”, Doctor Kry says. “The medical field is a profession that requires precision. One faulty move and someone could die. Is that clear?”
“Yes, doctor.”
“I’m responsible for you, so I don’t want you doing anything stupid, do you get that? No breaking rules, no stupid behavior.”
“Yes, doctor.”
He stretches his neck.
“This doesn’t have to do with you but I will tell you this anyway, in case it should occur”, he says stiffly. “If any of the other nurses give you any trouble, you’ll come tell me right away, understood?”
“Yes doctor”, you reply.
“Good. In that case, let's get started. A lot of people have boarded the ship today, and we need to check up on them. You might have thought that you’d get a day to settle in, but that’s not how we do things here. On board, things can happen at any hour of the day and you need to be prepared.”
You nod.
“Good”, he says, pleased. “Let’s go then, we have work to do.”
When he stands, so do you. He walks towards the door and so do you. You follow him through the corridors like a puppy, in silence. You don’t say anything. Maybe this will work for him after all?
You come out to the main staircase, a pathetic excuse of what it should be, and walk up a flight of stairs. What should be the lounge is now an operating theater and bedroom to wounded soldiers. He can hear you draw a breath as you walk in. The smell must hit you, he guesses, the smell of pain and blood.
You follow him around the open room as he talks to different men and women who have all kinds of painful injuries and sickness symptoms. You’re quiet behind him. When he’s done with his round, he takes you out onto the promenade to get you some fresh air. You hold onto the wooden railing.
“That can be unpleasant”, he says, leaning onto the railing beside you with his elbows. “Especially if it is one's first time. You’ll get used to it.”
“I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to expect”, you reply. “I knew that it would be … bad … I just didn’t know what type. Tomorrow will be better. Now I know what to expect.”
You give him a small smile. Don’t give up on me yet, I will prove myself to you. You are weirdly cute.
“Why are you here if you lack so much experience?” he asks.
“Good question”, you sigh. “Money problems, I suppose. My family has it rough.”
“How long will you be here?”
“A few months, until I've saved enough money.”
Doctor Kry nods. “Same here.”
“Is life on board tiresome?” you wonder. “What do you do out on sea?”
“Some play deck games, some write, draw or read”, Doctor Kry says. “Some spend time with the wounded. Everyone comes up with different activities.”
“I would like to explore the ship, see what the home I will have for the coming months contains.”
“If you want I can give you a tour.”
“Really? Thank you, I would love that.”
You follow the doctor inside again. He decides to start from the bottom of the beast and show you up to the very top.
The orlop deck is the one right above the boilers. The two of you shouldn't wander further below, in case of danger. The orlop deck contains a mailroom and the cargo hold. It's chilly inside the ominous cargo room. Wooden boxes stand in groups.
“These contain everything from weapons to medical equipment to food and alcohol”, Doctor Kry says and taps the top of a wooden box. “Some people — of the military staff, I've been told — sneak down here to steal some of it. I wouldn't advise you to explore down here. The ones you'll meet will most likely be drunk beyond measure and not trustable.”
“I understand”, you say.
“That being said, let's go upstairs.”
G-deck is filled with bunk beds, rows and rows of them. Walls that used to separate cabins have been demolished and left are the marks on the floors where they should stand. People are in bed, either sleeping or chatting with each other. They’re wearing bandage.
F-deck was the same as G-deck, filled with bunk beds and cabins.
E-deck has a pool with crystal clear water. It’s a simple pool, only there for exercise. It used to have much more detailing, a children’s part of the pool and some children’s floating toys.
“It would be nice to swim here”, you say. “After long hours of standing.”
“I think it is nice”, Doctor Kry says. “I haven’t used the pool yet. I think it’s seawater but, like I said, I haven’t tried the pool yet.”
Before he has time to think, you’ve crouched down, sunk your cupped hand into the water and taken a lick. Doctor Kry gasps and twitches forward.
“What are you doing?” he questions.
“It is seawater”, you say.
He grabs your wrist, pulls you up on your feet and shakes your hands free of the water.
“That is disgusting, do not do that again”, he says sternly.
You laugh slightly, meeting his eyes. Doctor Kry shakes his head, but has to restrain himself to not smile.
“Get out”, he says, nodding at the door.
You walk before him. Your youthful behavior is going to wear him down.
D-deck has more dim corridors than the others you’ve explored. Doctor Kry stops in front of a steel door with his hand resting on the handle.
“This room is the morgue”, he says slowly. “I don’t expect you to like this room, but I do expect you to treat it with respect. Don’t do anything ‘fun’ here, like you did in the pool. Understood?”
You nod. Doctor Kry opens the door. A chilly wind blows through you. You hug yourself. The room is colder than the winds up on deck and you look at Doctor Kry to see if he’s also feeling the cold. Along the walls of the room are numbered hatches. You don’t need him to explain what is inside them. Doctor Kry opens a door to the right, showing a small room with an operating table on it.
“Have you ever performed an autopsy?” you ask.
“Many times”, he responds and closes the door.
“Do they get … easier every time?”
“Easier? I wouldn’t say easier, but you learn to shut off your brain. You’ll learn that too while working here.”
He walks you out of the morgue. D-deck also contains even more wards.
C-deck has the first class dining saloon, now nothing more than a school cafeteria. The tables are simple, the chairs looking uncomfortable. A few men sit by a table eating. Doctor Kry is quick to get you out.
B-deck has more cabins and open wards, along with an enclosed promenade deck filled with beds, where patients can rest in fresh air. There’s nothing left of the verandah cafe, the suites have been emptied and the hairdresser doesn’t have the equipment that it once had.
A-deck is the only deck on the ship left with some of her old personality. The lounge has some armchairs and couches and the smoking room still has the painted glass windows. You look at the painted mermaid on the window.
“It’s beautiful”, you say.
“It is”, Doctor Kry says. “I think it has something to do with Greek mythology, but I haven’t asked.”
The enclosed promenade deck the two of you had been on is on the same deck. Boat deck, on the other hand, has nothing enclosed. Nothing to shield anyone from wind or rain. Rows upon rows of lifeboats stand in their davits, collapsible ones are positioned on the roofs for easy access.
“Okay, I think you’ve seen it all”, Doctor Kry says and sighs. “Not much, as you can see. Majority of it have been removed in case anything would happen to the ship.”
“Is there a risk of something happening?”
“The ship is painted white with a green line and big, red crosses. People know better than to sink a hospital ship.”
“But at night you can’t see what color the ship is painted.”
“I assure you that has been thought of. I will show you. Meet me at my cabin at sunset.”
“Okay.”
You knock at his door as the sun is resting on the horizon. Doctor Kry stands up from his chair a bit too quickly.
“Good evening”, you say. “I’m here.”
“So you are”, he replies and grabs his beige coat. “Let’s go, we can get dinner afterwards.”
You follow him out to the main staircase and up to the boat deck. The red shade above you is fading into dark blue skies. Wherever you look, nothing breaks it. You follow Doctor Kry to the stern where you have a good view of the ship. A strand of green light lights up the side of the ship, big spotlights turned to the red crosses. The green light gives your face a magical shade, one which makes the doctor stare at you when you’re not looking.
“You can sleep soundly”, he says. “As you can see, there are lights showing other ships what we are. Now, how about some food?”
“Yes, please.”
The two of you walk back inside and make your way down to the dining hall. You don’t say anything, but the way your hand travels the railing down the main staircase makes him smile.
You get a bowl of soup and a piece of bread. Doctor Kry leads you to a table full of doctors where he always sits. Not because he likes their company, but because he doesn’t want to sit with the immature nurses.
“So this is your apprentice?” Doctor Hart says, eyeing you.
“Yes”, Doctor Kry replies.
You sit down beside him.
“I’m Y/N”, you say, remembering how you had forgotten to introduce yourself to Kry earlier. “
“You are a voluntary nurse, right?” a doctor asks.
“Yes.”
“What training do you have?”
“The absolute minimum, sir. I didn't have time to learn more before being sent here.”
“That’s why they’re my apprentice”, Doctor Kry says before anyone else has time to say something that could invalidate your lack of knowledge. “I’m supposed to train them.”
“You have gotten an unfortunate fit, Y/N”, Doctor Hart says jokingly. “Kry is a good doctor, but probably the most boring man I have ever come across.”
You frown, looking between him and your mentor.
“I wouldn’t say that”, you say slowly.
Doctor Kry looks at you with a small smile before taking a bite of his sandwich.
“If you ever get tired of this boring man, I could always use a trainee”, Doctor Hart says with a small smirk.
The other doctors laugh. You give them a small, uncomfortable smile.
“Let them be”, Doctor Kry says warningly. “You don't have to be an ass to the newcomers.”
He turns away from them, looking at you.
“Don’t listen to them”, he whispers.
“Okay”, you reply quietly and give him a thankful smile.
He spends the rest of the dinner conversing with you, completely ignoring the other doctors. He asks you about your family life, the members in it, what your favorite memory is. For the first time in months, he's had a purposeful conversation, one he won't forget the second he leaves the dining hall. You've only been here less than a day and yet you've managed to put color in this white steel beast.
“I shouldn't keep you”, he says suddenly. “I suppose that you're tired. You should rest. I will see you tomorrow morning. Will you find your way to your cabin?”
“I think so”, you smile. “Thank you.”
“Be at my door at seven tomorrow morning.”
You nod. Doctor Kry gives you a small nod before walking away. His heart pounds in his chest, already looking forward to tomorrow morning.
Days go by. You spend every waking hour with your mentor, following him like a dog. You don't get why everyone else calls him strict, why some pity you for having him. And some pity themselves for not being picked. It's a weird feeling, you find, that everyone has a divided opinion of you and you have no idea who thinks what. All eyes on you, and none seem to be in your favor.
Doctor Kry is awoken by knocking on his door. Still in his drowsy state can he recognize the pattern. You have a unique sense of knocking. The darkness still covers the sky.
You're standing outside, wet to the bone, wearing your pajamas and a guilty look in your eyes.
“You told me to tell you right away”, you say quickly. “I'm not sure if you meant that literally but … I have nowhere else to go.”
Your voice dies out. Doctor Kry frowns, looking at your wet form up and down.
“What happened?” he asks suspiciously.
“They locked me out.”
“What are you talking about? Who locked you out?”
“The other nurses.”
What?
“Why are you wet?”
“They threw water on me and threw me out of the room. I-I guess that it was a joke but … I didn’t really … find it funny …”
He can tell that you're shivering, although you're trying your best not to show it. It makes him unexplainably furious.
“Come inside”, he says and steps aside.
He's quick to grab his towel from his trunk and wrap it around you. You sit down on his chair.
“Did they say anything to you?” he asks.
“Not from what I heard”, you reply quietly, shaking slightly. “Everything went on so quickly. I barely had time to wake up before I found myself in the corridor.”
“They threw you?” Doctor Kry asks, trying to understand.
“Grabbed me by my arms and threw me out.”
“You must have hit the opposite wall in the corridor.”
“It’s fine.”
He feels his heart tug. His poor little apprentice, getting thrown around like trash. He knew that the nurses were assholes, but he is appalled that none of them even tried to befriend you. He knows that it’s because of him. In some way shape or form, it always leads back to him. It’s his responsibility to take care of you now. And, like hell, he’ll do it.
“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes to start with”, he says and removes the towel from around your body. “You’ll get sick if you keep them on any longer.”
He helps you remove them and dress you in his spare pajamas, offering you his bed.
“Don’t go back to that room”, he says.
“Why?”
“I feel like I am responsible for you and that’s why I can’t let you back there.”
“What do I do then?”
It’s such a simple question, but it makes him feel even more determined to take care of you. You’re asking him how to proceed. You trust him enough to let him decide what should happen to you. It’s enough to make him hear his heart in his ears.
“You’ll stay here for the night, and I will decide what to do with you in the morning”, he says and removes the cover of the bed. “Why don’t you go to bed while I get you a hot cup of tea?”
“Okay, thank you, doctor”, you say quietly.
“Of course.”
He smiles as he walks out, but the second he closes the door he feels a pain in his heart. He has been with you for two weeks by now and every day has been a pleasure. He can’t remember the last time he’s been this excited to work. Every meal, he spends it with you. He plays deck games with you on your breaks and play board games in the lounge at night. You’re interesting to him without being annoying. Everyone else gets on his nerves, being too much, too loud, too clingy and too … much. You, somehow, seem to be just perfect in every category. It’s such a rare trait for him to find. He doesn’t care that no one else understands it — on the contrary, he finds it great that he is the only one you spend your time with — but he hates that the others are childish enough to mess with you because of it.
Sea air must bring even the sanest people to madness.
The morgue flashes before his eyes and he stops right in his tracks. He wants to. Oh, how he wants to. But there’s no way that he could play it off. On a secluded place like a ship, there was no place to hide a crime. Nowhere to flee if he did get caught. He’ll figure it out, though. They won’t go unpunished.
He gets the cup of tea and makes his way back to the cabin.
“Drink this”, he says and holds the cup to your lips. “This should warm you up.”
He notices how you’re trying to take the cup from him, but he won't let you. Wants to feed you. You drink slowly.
“What do I do from now on?” you ask.
“Well, firstly, I will talk to your roommates”, the doctor says. “Tomorrow morning. You can take my bed, I will sleep on the floor.”
“No, I can’t do that. I’ve troubled you enough, doctor.”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he tucks you in and opens his trunk to take out a shirt to use as a pillow.
“Doctor, please”, you say. “I can take the floor.”
“Don’t be absurd. Enough of this, now go to sleep.”
There’s no use in fighting him, he will not budge. You try to lay as still as you can, but it’s hard to drift off to sleep. You’re unaware that Kry is awake as well, having an even harder time getting some rest. The only thing he can think of is how angry he is at those nurses … but also a particular happiness. They sent you his way. In an unofficial way they sent you right into his clutches.
The very next morning, he awakens to find you there, in his bed, sleeping peacefully. He stares at you. There is something so heavenly about you. Something alive, among all this death and suffering.
He changes into his uniform before walking through the ominous corridors of your room. His knock must have echoed in the room because he can hear a few surprised gasps.
He recognizes the tired face that opens.
“If you don't mind, I'll grab Y/N’s things”, he says and, before waiting for a response, pushes past into the room, hitting their shoulder intentionally. “Where are they?”
“Under that bunk bed.”
He follows the pointed finger and grabs a brown bag.
“You should be ashamed of yourselves, you know”, he says without changing his normal calm tone. “I thought nurses were supposed to be caring, but what do I know? I never spend time with them. And now I see that it was with good reason.”
“What makes you so special?” one of the nurses scoffs. “There are a lot of doctors people would choose before you too.”
“I'm aware of that, and I'm very thankful for it. But you shouldn't forget that there is a hierarchy on board. I might not fall for your charms, but I can still get you downgraded to kitchen staff.”
He walks out. You're still sleeping when he returns to his cabin and he decides to go get you breakfast.
“Wake up”, he says and places the tray on the desk. “I've gotten you breakfast.”
“Really?” you ask and sit up. “Thank you so much. And thank you for letting me stay here.”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he gives you a cup of coffee.
“I brought your things”, he says. “I don’t think that you should go back to that room at all. I will try to get you into another cabin.”
“Oh”, you say. “Thank you.”
“You say awfully many ‘thank you’s.”
“Well, you do awfully many nice things for me.”
He tries not to show how happy he gets, but his ears burn a crimson red. You get out of bed and walk over to your bag, looking around for something.
“I want to give you something”, you say and hold your hands behind your back.
“What?” asks.
You take out a little porcelain dog, a spitting image of a Golden Retriever.
“I don’t have much”, you say, “but I really value this little thing. Take it.”
“No”, Doctor Kry says simply.
“I don’t have anything else.”
“Which is why I can’t take it.”
“Please?”
He looks at the little dog in your hands and the pleading look in your eyes. His hand reach out and take it in his hand, knowing that he won’t keep it. He will find a way to give it back to you at a later time. But he has to accept it for now so that you don’t feel stupid.
He places it on his desk and gives you the cup of coffee again.
“What will we work with today?” you ask.
“We’re picking up some new people.”
Everytime they pick up new people, he’s reminded of your limited time. One day, sooner than desired, you will walk off the gangway … and someone will take your place. No. Never. He doesn't want anyone else other than you.
Among the newcomers, you find a child. The six year old boy seems to like running along the big ship's decks.
You and Kry observe him from the promenade boat above.
“Why is there a child?” you ask. “Isn’t it dangerous to let a little boy run around?”
“His parents must either be military, a nurse or wounded”, Doctor Kry replies.
You let go of the railing. Doctor Kry follows you with his eyes as you make your way down to the boy. You introduce yourself, take his little hand and ask him for his. Nicholas. You play with him. Doctor Kry can’t look away. You’re a natural with children. The little boy seems to have genuinely fun with you. You’re running along the deck, back and forth. You pretend to have a hard time catching up with him, making Doctor Kry smile. He’s not much for children. They’re loud, unpredictable and lack consequence-think. He hates all of it. But you seem to have a natural talent for it. The boy seem so comfortable with you. It’s adorable.
“Doctor!” you shout.
“What?” he replies without raising his voice.
“Come down, let’s play something!”
He sighs and lets go of the railing before making his way down to you and Nicholas.
“This is doctor Kry”, you tell the boy. “He won’t bite you.”
“Bite?” Doctor Kry scoffs. “Since when have I ever bitten someone?”
“That’s what I’m saying — you won’t bite him.”
“I never bite to begin with.”
“That’s what I’m saying, so what are you arguing about?”
“Y/N- … nevermind, I’m getting nowhere.”
You laugh. He shakes his head disapprovingly, but his heart aches fondly. You’re like an annoying fly buzzing around, but he doesn’t want to kill you.
You play curling on the deck and you throw lamely to let the little boy win. He tries to match it, tries to follow your lead.
The image doesn’t leave his brain for the rest of the day. The only thing he sees is you with the little boy.
“Doctor, be careful!”
He doesn’t notice how he’s slipped with the scalpel and cut himself in the palm. With a hiss, he backs away from the man on the operating table. You grab his other arm and pulls him with you. His head is awfully cloudy. The only thing he sees in front of him is your smile when you played with the boy.
“Sit here”, you say and place him down on a chair. “Are you okay?”
“Yes … yes, I’m fine”, he says and clears his throat.
You clean his hand and wrap it in bandage. Your touch makes him want to pass out. But it also makes him want to yell in frustration. How could he slip up that easily? He has never been distracted during an autopsy and suddenly seeing you with a child puts him out of balance enough for him to slip the knife?
“You need to be careful”, you tell him.
“I know”, he sighs, rolling his eyes. “I don’t enjoy hurting myself.”
“I didn’t mean that, I know you’re careful, I just-”
He realizes that he’s made a mistake.
“I know”, he says, cutting you of before sighing heavily and continuing in defeat. “I didn’t mean to sound mad. I’m not angry with you.”
He could never be. If anything, he’s furious at himself.
“It’s okay”, you say gently.
You let go of his bandaged hand.
“It should be okay now”, you say. “But I don’t think that you should go back.”
“I won’t”, he says. “They need a steady hand and clearly my isn’t.”
“Don’t be hard on yourself, doctor. It happens to the best of us.”
He sighs and stands up, keeping his eyes on a point above your head.
“Let’s go out”, he says stiffly and clenches his jaw. “I need air.”
“Do you want to be alone?” you ask.
His reply comes short. “Just come.”
You nod and hurry after him out on deck. His entire body screams anger. You don’t dare to open your mouth, scared to upset him even more. Instead, you follow him like a shadow around the promenade deck. He suddenly stops and looks at you, as if he just only realized that you are still here. You back away a few steps to give him space. He flinches forward, as if his body wants to walk over to you, but his brain stops him. He wants to hug you. Wants so bad. But it is not professional.
“Maybe i should go”, you say. “I think that you need some alone time to think. I’ll see you later, okay? Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“No, wait”, he says and grabs your arm. “Don’t leave.”
You look at him questionably.
“Let’s just sit”, he says and pulls you over to the deck chairs.
“Are you sure that you’re okay?” you ask hesitantly. “You seem a bit on edge.”
“It’s not directed at you”, he says.
“Okay, but you’re still upset. I know that you hurt yourself, but it’s okay, it’ll heal quickly.”
“It’s not just that.”
He never makes mistakes. He never slips up. You’re becoming dangerous for him.
“Do you want to tell me?” you ask.
He shakes his head and gives you a small smile. “No. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
It’s cute how worried you are about him. He gives you a smile.
It feels like a dagger through the heart when you tell him that it is your last week on board. What do you mean that you’re going home? You just came here. His mind spins as he tries to come up with something. He needs you here on this boat — or wherever he is — to work properly. Both figuratively and literally. He feels like he performs better, both in the operating theater and as a human.
The cut on his hand has healed by now, but he can still feel the burning sensation of your fingers against his skin. He can’t — won't — forget it. He kept the bandage, despite the blood on it.
You need to be kept here … and he needs to come up with a solution on how to keep you. He could make you trip down the stairs and have you break a leg. No, you could still return home with broken bones. He could tie you up and lock you in, but if you screamed loud enough someone would hear you through the thin steel walls. You need to blend in. How does one blend in, in a floating prison with wounded people.
Oh. Of course.
He makes his way to the medical supply room, looking around for something — anything — that he can use. He finds a little green bottle. You shouldn’t drink it straight away, but if he dilutes it in water, it should be fine.
He decides to mix some of the dangerous substance in your tea the following mornings. For the first few days, there seem to be no symptoms of his little poisoning. Until the fourth morning when you’re not at his door when he expects you. He gets himself dressed and out of the room, marching down to your new — own — cabin. He knocks on the door.
“Y/N, are you awake?” he asks.
“Yes”, he hears your voice through the door, your voice thick and hoarse.
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
He opens the door. You’re lying in the bed, curled up with your arms over your stomach.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
You shake your head weakly. “Not well. My stomach really hurts … I think that I’m going to throw up. I haven’t been able to go get a bucket so I’ve been trying to keep it in.”
“I’ll get you a bucket.”
He leaves the room. Out in the corridor, he can’t help but smile. It’s finally kicking in. He had been worried that it wouldn’t work until you had left the ship … where he can’t care for you. He gets a clean bucket from a storage closet and returns.
“Let’s get you up right”, he says and helps you sit up.
The motion alone is enough to have you throwing up. He places the bucket under your mouth, letting you empty yourself.
“I’m sorry”, you hiccup.
“It’s okay”, he replies.
“I don’t think I can work today.”
“I don’t expect you to.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that.”
He opens the window and sits down by the desk.
“You don’t have to stay here”, you say weakly, leaning against the wall. “I’ll be fine.”
“You won’t be fine”, the doctor says. “I can see that. You took care of me, now I’ll take care of you.”
“It’s different. I just put on bandage.”
“So? You weren’t skilled for more. I am, and I intend to put my knowledge to use.”
He stands up abruptly, deciding to start right away.
“Let’s get you some fresh air”, he says. “This open window won’t do.”
“Doctor, I can’t move”, you say, eyes widening. “I-I’ve tried, but I-I … I can’t.”
He frowns. Has he done too much?
“My stomach hurts so much and my limbs don’t seem to want to move.”
“It’ll be okay”, he says shortly and lifts you up in his arms. “I’ll do the moving for you.”
He walks slowly along the decks, so as not to make your nausea even more unbearable. He walks out to the enclosed promenade where rows of beds stand along the walls and places you down in one of them, making sure to get you in the sunlight. With a smile, he tucks you in.
“Some fresh air and sunlight will do you good”, he says and sits down on the side of the bed. “Why don’t you try to get some rest? I suppose you haven’t had much this night. I’m not going anywhere, you’ll be safe.”
You nod and make yourself a bit more comfortable.
“It’s hard to not be nauseous when the ship moves so much”, you mumble.
“I have the bucket, you can vomit as much as you’d like”, he says.
“In that case I won’t vomit at all. Because I don’t want to.”
Doctor Kry scoffs with a smile.
“I know”, he says. “Try to rest now.”
He sits by your side until you’ve fallen asleep. You are so unbelievably sweet. In every single way. Doctor Kry stands up to go empty the bucket. He walks out the enclosed promenade, out onto the open deck and throws the contains over the side.
“What’s with your apprentice?” Doctor Hart asks, walking over to him with his hands in his pockets. “Rumour says that they’re sick.”
“Yes, they are”, he says shortly.
“Weren’t they going home this week?”
Do not remind me.
“They were”, he says, even colder. “Not anymore. I can’t let them go back if they have some kind of sickness. Better for them to be isolated here where it can’t spread far.”
“Is it contagious?”
“Yes, very. I think that you should stay away from them — tell everyone else to be cautious and keep distance as well.”
He grimaces and quickly backs away from him, walking away. Doctor Kry smirks and shakes his head.
And you consider yourself smart enough to be a doctor?
“What are you doing?”
The little boy is back. Nicholas stands a few steps behind him, watching curiously.
“I’m emptying a bucket”, Doctor Kry answers, trying not to sound short and cold like usual. You like this kid and if he’s impolite to him, he’s sure he’ll hear about it from you.
“Why?”
“Because there was vomit in it.”
“Ew! Did you get seasick?”
He rolls his eyes. “No, not me. Y/N’s not feeling well.”
“Is Y/N sick?”
“Yes.”
He looks worried. His best friend isn’t feeling well? Doctor Kry sighs.
“Do you want to come and meet them later?” he asks. “They’re resting right now but you can come visit when they’re awake again.”
“When is that?” Nicholas asks.
“I don’t know.”
“How will I know then?”
“I don’t know.”
He doesn’t wait to hear more dumb questions. Doctor Kry walks straight back to the enclosed promenade and places the bucket by the bed. He sits down by your legs and takes your hand.
A few days go by. He continuous to poison your tea, and help you throw up. When your body doesn’t want to do it anymore, when it’s too exhausted to work for your benefit, he has to help.
“Alright, open your mouth”, he says, brushing any type of hair away from your face. “This will not be pleasant, but I need you to throw up, okay?”
You sit beside him on the bed with the bucket in your lap, hugging it tightly. Your unsure grimace is enough to answer.
“I know”, he sighs. “It’ll be quick. It won’t hurt.”
“Okay”, you mumble and nod, opening your mouth.
He reaches in with his fingers until they touch the soft part of the back of the mouth. Your mouth is warm and soft, making him feel light headed. As soon as you gag, he pulls his fingers away. You hover over the bucket for the thirteenth time in twenty four hours. Doctor Kry pats your back.
“There you go”, he says. “See? Quick and easy.”
“Easy?” you cough, giving him a stern eye. “Nowhere near easy.”
“Okay, maybe not easy. Bad wording. But it’s over now. Good job, I’m proud of you.”
A sad smile appears on your face. You lean your head onto his shoulder, sighing in exhaustion. Doctor Kry tenses. His heart stops.
“I’m so tired”, you whisper. “My body hurts.”
He hesitates before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. Your scent clogs up his head.
“I should be home by now”, you whisper.
“I know”, doctor Kry whispers comfortingly.
You break out into sobs. Doctor Kry swallows. He can imagine how you must feel. Body broken and unresponsive, not back home with your family like you had planned and anticipated … and you can’t do anything to stop it. Doctor Kry turns your body to him and hugs you. Holding you feels like heaven. You fit perfectly in his arms, as if you were made for him, and him only. You were born to be his.
“I'm sorry if this is unprofessional”, you mumble.
“It's okay, you're sick”, he replies thickly
He closes his eyes, enjoying the embrace. It’s everything he could — and have — ever dreamt of. His own little patient, in his arms, where they belong. Only for him. Oh, God, he can never let you go. You will be here for as long as he is, and then he’ll take you back home to him. Whether you like it or not.
“I’m cold.”
“I'll go get you some more blankets.”
He dreads to let you go but he can't deny your request. Your warmth disappears from his embrace.
He decides to hurry, wanting to get back to you as quickly as possible. As he walks down the main staircase, he feels the entire ship shudder and hear a loud ‘bang’. He has to grab onto the staircase railing to not fall over. The sound of porcelain crashing onto the floor in the distance hits him. He hurries down.
A man covered in soot runs past him. One of the men from the boiler room.
“The ship is flooding!” he shouts in full panic. “We're sinking!”
Doctor Kry widens his eyes. There's no way, right? They're a hospital ship! No one in their right mind would sink a hospital ship! His mind forgets the blanket. He needs a lifebelt. Not a blanket.
He runs past the room where you had stayed first, and he can see the nurses inside trying to scramble their belongings into small purses. Without thinking, he marches over, shuts the door and grabs the nearest fire extinguisher to break the lock. He throws the fire extinguisher to the side and hurries down the corridor, opening the first door he finds. It's a cabin for female nurses. He reaches over one of the bunk beds, to a net where lifebelts Are kept. He pulls down two and runs out.
The floor has started to shift beneath him. He can tell that it tilts to his left. She's going down by the stern.
He runs up the stairs, trying to push his way through a flood of people desperately climbing upwards. He wants to shout at them, but it won't matter. No one else will listen or care. Instead, he uses force to push himself through the crowd.
He has to get to you before anything happens. There's no certainty in how much time there is, but there is a certainty of death if he doesn't hurry up.
He runs through packed corridors, ripping open your door.
“What's going on?” you ask with wide eyes.
There's something horrific with your fearful eyes. Everything about you is dull and tired, besides your panicking eyes.
“We've been hit”, he says in a steady voice and forces the white lifebelt over your head, tying it tightly around your body. “We need to get to a lifeboat as quickly as possible.”
“What?” you ask in shock. “What happened? You said that we were okay, that nothing would happen to a hospital ship!”
He doesn't answer. If he does, he's worried that he'll snap at you. Instead, he lifts you up and carries you out of the room. He makes sure not to trip, but carrying you through tilted spaces is harder than he expects. Giving up is not an option, however.
The boat deck is crowded. He manages to get through to a lifeboat and sits down with you in his arms.
“I’m scared”, you whisper.
“It's okay”, the doctor whispers back. “Everything is going to be okay.”
He holds you tightly when the lifeboat slowly sinks towards the water, scared that you might fall off.
Seeing the ship from afar as the lifeboat makes its way away from it finally puts things together in your head. You gasp. You had been on that … and if Kry hadn't come get you you would still be on it, waiting for death.
The bow slowly rises out of the water, dripping with water. The sun shines right on it, as if it is the ocean’s main attraction. The room where doctor Kry locked in the nurses is far underwater by now. He hides a smirk under his hand. He had promised that they would be punished for what they had done. They'd have a chance if they hadn't been childish.
“I never thought that I’d see something like this”, you say. “I never wanted to see the bottom of a ship.”
“Me neither”, the doctor replies.
“Will many die?”
“No, not many. I’m sure of it.”
You creep closer to him, shivering although you don’t feel any cold winds. He holds you tighter.
The only thing left of the floating hospital is a steamy, bubbling mess, filled with debris. It’s like you can hear her hit the ocean floor. You can’t help but wonder what position she is in, if you’ll ever get to know. If anyone ever will dive down and check. If that will be possible.
“It’s so silent”, you whisper and meet his blue eyes. “It shouldn’t be silent … should it?”
“I don’t know”, he replies. “What is the other choice? People screaming?”
You shake your head quickly. Don’t want to imagine that.
Hours go by. When the evening comes, you’re picked up by another ship and given blankets and food. Doctor Kry stays close to you, not letting anyone get close. He sits in a protective position beside you, arms crossed over his chest, eyes scanning everything and everyone around him.
The little boy clings to a woman who you guess is his mother. He doesn’t seem to understand what has happened, how lucky he is, and you hope that he never will.
“What will happen now?” you wonder quietly.
“I will continue to care for you until you are well”, he says. “That’s what will happen. I will take care of the rest, you don’t have to worry about anything. Just lean on me and everything will be alright, okay?”
You nod. Doctor Kry smiles and straightens his neck.
“Good.”
You look up at the colorful evening sky and sighs. No one died this day — apart from a few nurses who doctor Kry didn’t like, but he will never tell you that — and that is a comfort. But you’re unaware of the plans doctor Kry has for you. And maybe that’s for the best.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere drabbles#yandere oc x you#yandere oc x reader#yandere fics#yandere doctor
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building blocks | yjh (teaser)
(agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.)
pairing: master's student!jeonghan x TA!f!reader genre: university!au, strangers to ?? | fluff, some angst, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI (for the full fic) word count: 842 for the teaser (est. 12-14k) warnings: none for the teaser (full fic: smut, drinking, eating, etc.) full fic: september 13th!
a/n: i wanted to drop a teaser of my fic for the TA collab hosted by the amazing @camandemstudios. those two have been working so hard on this and i can't wait to read all the fics. but go easy on me because i know next to nothing about structural engineering. credit to @caelesjjk for this banner, it's so amazing 🥰
join my taglist here or leave a comment to be tagged in the full fic!
Your entire academic (and professional, for that matter) career has been a battle. A fight to be taken seriously. A fight to get the right classes. A fight to make the right connections. A fight for every inch that you’ve gotten. There are times that you wonder if it’s all worth it, wonder if anything should be as hard as this. But, all you’ve ever wanted was to be an engineer. To be able to leave your mark in some sort of meaningful way, even if that’s also a little conceited. It’s all you want and you’re so close to getting some much needed room to breathe.
Except…
You have to make it through one last semester of this damn Master’s program. You had been able to find a sponsor to allow you to commit to a final semester full time, with only part time research work. That’ll put you in a good position to carry on for your Ph.D, with your dissertation topic already picked and funded. Things had been going entirely too smoothly, in hindsight. You should have known. Everything about your application to the upcoming program is perfect. Except for the final recommendation. And, of course, the professor to give that recommendation won’t just give it to you to recognize the years you’ve put into this. No. He implies that there’s something he needs from you.
Nothing really awful, in the grand scheme of things. Not for someone that does want to return as a lecturer at some point down the road. It’s just that you didn’t really want to be forced into a teaching assistant position for Professor Choi’s introductory structural engineering course. It’s the course that weeds out who’s actually going to carry on with the civil engineer branch of the Master’s program from those who may switch out to something that better suits them. Which, again, isn’t a huge deal, except that you remember how burnt out the TA looked from when you took the course and it’s the last thing you need during your last semester. It’s also hard to know that some portion of your future hinges on doing this. It’s also hard to forget another friend of yours admitting Professor Choi had given him a recommendation without the hoops.
Whatever.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and all that.
So you schedule your regular meetings with the professor, make a separate email folder for all course related communication, jot down the important dates, and figure out which lessons you have to help plan. First up is going to be the introductory class. Professor Choi comes in and introduces himself while you distribute the syllabus, an odd task when everything is available online through the portal, but he likes things in hard copy. Once he’s done his introduction, he leaves the rest of the first class to you, as he had with the TA in your course during your first semester. For a moment, you consider pointing out that this is a Master’s level course and you don’t really need to do the typical introductions. Most of these people have busy lives and, even though they’ll have to work together on projects, can manage without syllabus week. But, Choi is old school and you know it. You also need his letter, so what’s the point in trying to change his system? You’re not here to do anything other than fill a spot that he was having trouble filling, get your letter, and go.
When you scan the roster before the first day, nobody particularly sticks out. There are a couple of relatively familiar names, though you’re not sure you can place faces to them, but most of the students seem to be in their first semester of the program. It only takes getting to the introductions for someone in the course to stick out.
“Well, I’ve always been good at building Legos. I figure, how different can it really be?” one student answers.
It takes everything in you to school your face back into a politely interested expression when the rest of the class bursts out laughing. Your initial reaction had been incredulity. Surely he couldn’t be serious. There’s no way someone just wandered into this program because he liked building Legos. The laughter from the rest of the class dies down and you keep your attention on him.
“Why did you really join the program?” you ask. That’s what every student was supposed to be sharing. A problem for this student, apparently.
“That is why I joined,” he says with an infuriating smirk.
“What did you say your name was?” you ask.
“Jeonghan,” he answers without anything else.
You consult the roster in front of you and put a star by his name. This is someone you know you’re going to have to keep an eye on.
“Did I get a star already?” he prompts, earning another few chuckles from his classmates.
“Something like that,” you say and then turn to the person next to him. “And why did you join?”
i hope you enjoyed it! and less than a week til the full fic is posted 🫣
taglist: @newjihoonie, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harry-the-pottypus, @okiedokrie-main, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @jelly-n (strikethrough means can't tag)
#seventeenTAcollab#jeonghan smut#svt smut#jeonghan x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#jeonghan imagines#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#jeonghan x you#svt x you#seventeen x you#jeonghan scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan angst#svt fluff#svt angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#jeonghan fanfic#svt fanfic#seventeen fanfic#thediamondlifenetwork#svthub#kvanity
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Meeting again | Part 2 | Leah Williamson x Reader
Where Leah saves the day and sets up Liam's class with a visit to the Emirates.
Thank you @totaly-obsessed for letting me bounch ideas off of you for this one!
Meeting again universe | Woso masterlist | Words: 2.7k
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When you check your phone after waking up, you see a text from Leah. Her name amongst your notifications instantly brings a smile to your face.
Leah: Hey, good morning! Can I pick you up at 11 for that coffee?
You text her back instantly, no longer being scared of messaging her, after you’ve spent the evening together last night. After doing some stuff around the house, you get ready, and wait for Leah to pick you up.
At the coffee shop Leah went to order for the both of you, while you found a spot to sit. You were admiring your surroundings, when Leah headed your way with two cups in hand. “No coffee for you?” Her placing a mug with hot chocolate down in front of her peaks your interest. “Oh, yeah, I don’t drink coffee.” She says with a shy smile. “Why didn’t you say so when I asked you out for coffee? We could’ve gone somewhere else!” Leah shakes her head instantly, “Don’t worry about it, I was happy with the invite to see you sooner, and this place has the best hot chocolate in town.”
You fall into conversation with Leah just as easily as you had done yesterday. With years to catch up on, there were enough topics to keep you talking. Though, even if you had fully caught up with Leah, you think you’d still find topics of conversation to get to stay talking to her.
The first time you got quiet for a moment was when Leah said, “I’ve been trying to piece together how we stopped being friends all those years ago.” Your eyes fall to your lap, it had been your fault that the two of you stopped being friends. You wish things would have been different, but then again, you would not have Liam. Liam meant the world to you. “I remember us being really close, and then some rumours spread.” Your eyes meet her nervously. You noticed a slightly hopeful look behind her eyes, as if she was never fully able to understand what happened back when you were kids. So, you took a deep breath and started talking.
“Okay, the rumour, the one where it spread around the school that I liked you, was never actually a rumour.” Leah’s blue eyes pierced into yours. “Oh?” A part of Leah felt relieved that those almost moments between the two of you growing up weren’t just in her head. “Yeah, basically I confided in Maria, one of my best friends, about my feelings for you, because they were confusing me. You know as a teenager finding out that the feelings you’re meant to be having for a boy, you are feeling for a girl.” Leah nodded in understanding. “Well, she was apparently very homophobic, and decided to tell the whole school. I stopped being friends with her instantly, and you know the rest. I got together with Ryan to get people off my back, and put distance between the two of us. I think I even convinced myself for a moment that I could be straight, but yeah that’s not me.”
You let your eyes meet Leah’s again, there was no anger or hurt behind her eyes, just softness and understanding. “I am truly sorry about how everything played out, and if I hurt you in any way, that was never my intention.” Leah reaches for your hand on the table and gives it a soft squeeze, “You have nothing to apologise for. What Maria did is truly terrible, and I wish I could’ve been there for you at that time. All of that is in the past now though, and we cannot change it.” Her hand stays on yours. “You’re right, we can only focus on the future.” The blonde smiles and nods. “Well, that was a lot deeper than coffee would have gone, but I’m glad we were able to talk about this.” You both laugh. “I should really head back though, I have to pick up Liam from school in a bit.”
Leah drives you back to your place, and the two of you share a hug when you arrive. “Thank you for today. We should do this again sometime.” Leah says, and you agree instantly, “Yeah, I’ll text you later?” And you did. After Liam went to bed that night, you were texting back and forth with Leah all night, until you fell asleep with the conversation still open.
The next time you saw Leah, you and Liam watched her play on Sunday. You were rather far from the railings, but Leah found you amongst the crowd and set the both of you a wave when the match was over.
Since Liam missed Leah for dinner the first time when he had invited her without your knowing, and it got you to reconnect with Leah, you decided to invite her over for dinner that night with the both of you. You decided to make pizza together, since you found out that alike your son, Leah’s favourite food was pizza. Leah was amazing with Liam, you admired the two of them as they were busy chatting, while decorating their pizza’s.
While you sat down for dinner, you talked about your plans for the week like you always did with Liam, but now including Leah. You had always found it important to know what was ahead, especially since Liam was at his dad’s for half of the week. You had given Leah the honours of talking about her week first as the guest, she told you about her work schedule, and some other things she had planned for the week. Then Liam wanted you to go next, so you shared your work schedule, and your plan to spend your days off with. Liam wanted to finish off the round, he told you about his plans with Ryan, and what he knew about school. “Oh, and mom, what are you doing for the class tomorrow?” Your brows furrowed in surprise, “What do you mean, bud?”
“It’s your turn to do the class trip tomorrow, do you not have anything planned?” Liam asks in a worried tone. “Buddy, I’m so sorry, but I don’t know anything about it being my turn.” He stood up from the table and you were instantly worried, luckily he came right back with his backpack. “Here, Miss Owens sent this out.” He hands you a letter, informing the parents of the switch in schedules, and it did indeed show you for tomorrow. “Buddy, if this is still in your backpack, I have not seen it yet.” Realisation hits him, “Oh mom, I totally forgot to give it to you. What are we going to do?” Leah, who had been quiet during the interaction spoke up, “I think I might have an idea. I know it’s not my place, but I think I can help, may I?” She looked at you for permission. “Yes, please, I do not have the right connections to take a class out for the day this last minute.”
Leah got up, “Alright, I am going to make some calls and I will make sure you will have a great day tomorrow, I promise.” She told Liam. She headed into the other room, and started planning away. About thirty minutes later she got back into the kitchen, “Alright, everything is set for tomorrow. I will keep it a surprise though, are you both okay with me coming to class tomorrow?” Liam instantly said yes without giving it a second thought, his friends would finally believe him when he said that he knew Leah Williamson. You nod as well, “Thank you so much Lee.” Leah’s heart started beating faster at the nickname she hadn’t heard from you in such a long time. She smiled and sat back down for dessert.
The next morning Leah was at your door bright and early. You were busy packing Liam’s lunch when she knocked on the door. “Liam, can you get the door bud?” He came walking into the kitchen pulling Leah behind him, “Mom, Leah still won’t tell me what we’re going to do.” You smiled at the scene in front of you, a frowny kid, and a smirking Leah. “Don’t look at me, Leah went out of her way to arrange this for you, so let’s allow her the one rule she set in place for this.” He let go of her arm. “Fine.” He turned to Leah, “I am grateful that you did whatever it is that you did for me, I just would really like to know what it is.” She put her hand on his shoulder, “I know kiddo, just a little longer, I promise it will be worth the wait.”
You and Leah wait outside of the classroom, while the teacher starts out the day. “Thank you again for doing this, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Leah shrugs, “You would’ve figured it out, you’re a great mom. I am glad I could help though, I hope the kids like it.” Leah zipped down her jacket to reveal her Arsenal jersey. “By the looks of that, I think the kids are going to love what you have in store.” Leah is about to say something back, but Miss Owens tells you the class is ready for you.
The two of you step in, and you see the jaws of many kids in Liam’s class drop. “Hi kids, as many of you know, I am Liam’s mom. Today, I have brought someone special with me. I would like you all to meet Leah Williamson.” You introduced her to the crowd, “Hi, I’m Leah, and Liam told me you were looking forward to doing something fun with the whole class. What would you say if the Arsenal players bus was waiting just outside of the school?” The class erupted with excitement. “Would you all like to go and see?” Miss Owens calms down the class again before heading out, “Jackets please, and wait in a line outside of the classroom.”
Leah takes the lead and takes the kids to the players bus. At first they admire it from the outside, where the whole class takes a picture with Leah. Then Leah invites them to sit inside, once all the children are settled, Leah gets on the microphone and starts talking to the kids, and interacting with them. “So, who wants to go to The Emirates Stadium with me?” You couldn’t believe that Leah pulled all of this off in thirty minutes. She sat and talked with the kids, while you talked with Miss Owens.
After a short tour, Leah guided the kids to the family and friends area of the stadium. “What do you all think of one more surprise?” The class starts cheering again, and right on queue, a group of Arsenal girls walk out. Katie McCabe, Lotte Wubben-Moy, Beth Mead, Vivianne Miedema, and Kim Little, greet the kids with waves. They all have a little meet and greet with the kids, before it is time for them to head back to school. Leah thanked the teacher, and waved bye to the teacher and the kids. Since it was already the end of the school day, and she wanted to show Liam some more behind the scenes things, she asked the teacher if it would be alright if she took the kids back on her own, with a promise of getting her some signed copies of her books for her own kids she agreed.
Liam was living his best life hanging out with his favourite players, like they were friends he had known all his life. Lotte walked up to you as you were watching him talk with the girls. “So, you and Leah go way back I hear?” You smile at her, “Yeah we do.” You and Lotte talk for a bit before she gets pulled aside. “It was nice meeting you y/n, I’ve heard a lot about you the past couple of years.” Lotte’s eyes widened when she realised what she had just said, Leah had just walked up to you, and her cheeks turned red instantly. “Sorry.” Lotte said before quickly walking back to the rest of the girls, and whispering something into Katie’s ear. The latter turns to you, “Mind if we show Liam around some more?” You shake your head and return your attention back to Leah.
“So, you’ve been talking about me for years, have you?” You didn’t think it was possible, but her cheeks turned even redder. While Leah was nervous, she felt like it was now or never. “I mean can you blame me? You are pretty hard to forget.” You’re the one with blushing cheeks now. Leah’s words hang in the air, and you feel a warmth spread in your chest. The way she spoke those words, makes you feel like maybe, she has felt the same way all along.
“The feeling is mutual,” You reply after taking a moment. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. “I mean how could I forget the girl that was always able to bring a smile to my face, even on my worst days? I think I already proved that though, by coming to most of your matches.” You both laugh at the last comment. “I’ve missed this.” Leah reaches for your hand out of instinct, “You laugh, your smile, and just having you around.”
Your heart is beating a million miles an hour, by the way she was looking at you right now. In that moment, when her ocean blue eyes stare lovingly into yours, you realise that perhaps the rumours, the misunderstandings, and the years apart were merely obstacles on the path to this moment right here. “I’ve missed you too, Lee. Remember when the other day we said that we can only focus on the future?” Leah nods, and rubs her thumb gently over the back of your hand. “I hope you’re a part of that future.” You nervously look up at her again.
Leah gave your hand a soft squeeze, “I hope so too.” Her smile grows bigger as she continues, “I’ve thought about what could have been with us so many times, but right now, all I want is to be here with you, and see where time leads us.” Your smile grows just as big as hers is, Leah had felt the same way about you all of this time. “Would it be inappropriate to kiss you at your place of work?” Leah pulled you closer by the hand she was holding, and moved her other hand to your cheek, gently moving her finger over the soft skin there. “I am not working currently, so I think that should be alright.” She leans in the rest of the way, and after all these years of will they won’t they, and what could’ve been, you finally felt her soft lips on yours.
A loud “Ahem” pulls you away from the blonde. You turn around and find Liam, Katie, and Lotte looking back at the two of you. Before you can say anything Liam turns to Katie and Lotte with a proud smile on his face, “I told you they would get together sometime soon!” Katie high fived him while you laughed, of course Liam had talked about your love life with the two people that were probably sharing Leah’s right back. Leah put her arm around your shoulder, and walked towards the group. “Who’s ready for some dinner?” Liam hugs you from your other side. “Mom, this has been the best day ever, can we please make it even better with McDonald’s for dinner?” You look around the group of girls left over to see if they’d be down too, when you get three nods, you look back to Liam. “Let’s do it.”
As you walk out of the stadium with Liam’s hand in your left, and Leah’s hand in your right, you couldn’t be more happy.
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#meeting again universe#leah williamson#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson x reader#arsenal wfc imagine#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#awfc imagine#awfc x reader#awfc#woso#woso imagine#woso imagines#woso x reader#engwnt x reader#england lionesses#engwnt#engwnt imagine
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jealousy — various characters ☆彡
summary — how does jealousy feels for him and how does he deal with it?
characters — kaveh, tighnari, thoma, cyno, wanderer, alhaitham, ayato, kazuha, diluc (w/gender-neutral reader)
tags — kind of fluff, jealousy, possessiveness, i want to kiss diluc so bad, not proof-read; headcanons
words — 1204
note — this was supposed to be longer but my brain is fried and bondee anyone? :D if anyone wants to be neighbors, just tell me
KAVEH — It's obvious when he gets jealous, you could just immediately tell if there's envy and jealousy brewing in his mind whenever he sees you with another person—specifically someone who is obvious with their intentions to you but you're oblivious to it—because of how he shows his emotions and is usually expressive about it. Rolling his eyes as he replies once you have touched upon the topic of what he felt as he knits his eyebrows, and everything, he's conveying it all. However, he would still refuse at the end of it, he won't even admit to it but you'll know. He’ll even lean more on the petty side, making remarks like how you should ask that ‘friend’ you’re so close with but once you’ll go and turn around, he’ll ask you where you’re going and tell you to not leave.
TIGHNARI — He’s very much open with his emotions to you and doesn’t hide anything from you so when he's feeling something, whether it be sadness, happiness, or anything, you’ll know it immediately. This also applies to that bitter and burning feeling in his chest. At times he doesn’t verbally convey to you about what he feels, he shows it through the subtle actions he makes—wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close, showing off that you’re taken and you have him whenever he sees you talking with someone who is showing clear interest to you and giving off a scary presence that he’ll only show towards the people he’s scolding. “I don’t like them,” he’ll say as a remark while donning a calm demeanor, and you’ll either think it’s just that or he’s trying to say something more.
THOMA — Gets extremely affectionate and sweeter than usual. He'll silently beg for more affection from you by being more clingy than he already is—he’ll be all over you like some sort of object or item taped or glued on your body, as if he’s part of the design of your clothing because of just how much he’s sticking to you. The intimacy, fondness, and love that you receive from him on a daily or usual basis? You’ll get triple that amount once he gets jealous, the intimacy and closeness being there but overwhelming. He’ll even bluntly tell you, rubbing it all over your face, that he’s jealous, that he’s really and extremely jealous while pampering you with kisses and what can I say besides you have to deal with it?
CYNO — He places so much faith in you, trusting you and being confident with himself thus he doesn’t get jealous easily. However, when he does—on rare chances— he’s grumpy and much more intimidating than usual. Even if he's known to have a good control with his emotions, dealing with it properly, and placing it where it’s supposed to be, when he gets that feeling, all of those are thrown out of the window and somehow, he find himself twitching his eyebrow and giving death stares to the person acting way too close to you. He does get clingy though, staying closer to you, lingering touches, intertwined hands, and longer gazes, and everything, as if he’s trying to say something through his caresses and strokes on your skin.
WANDERER — Understanding and patience is what you need. He gets irritated or irked off once he gets jealous and you’ll first think if he’s just having his mood swings or something. He’ll leave you thinking and confused, basically not admitting that he’s jealous and would get more irritated if you won’t be able to guess or know what he’s feeling. He just refuses to talk about it, rolling his eyes and turning his back away when you'll ask him if he's jealous or what, and you can’t help but scratch the back of your head upon recognizing the feeling being expressed by him. He’ll be salty for a few days, just give him a little bit of time—he secretly wishes that you'll woo him and give him more of your attention and time instead.
ALHAITHAM — He doesn’t even know it—or more like he just ignores and fans off that feeling in his chest which will slowly grow, as moments pass by. He's the type of person whose jealousy will start really small, letting it pass, until it becomes something he can't completely turn a blind eye to. At first, he could have an inner monologue wherein he’s in conflict with his emotions and thinking him being jealous is impossible but then he imagines you with someone else and he’s irritated. He reasons that perhaps he was envisioning you with Kaveh that’s why he’s displeased so he thinks of another person and the annoyance persists. He tries to create logic out of what he is feeling before giving up and admitting that he is, indeed, jealous.
KAMISATO AYATO — The clingy possessive type of jealousy is what you’ll get from him. Through his actions and simple words, he'll tell the other party to stay away from you before he'll have to deal with them himself and you could and probably would think 'awww, that's so sweet and cute to see that he's jealous.' Not when you'll come home and he's all over you, lips all over your skin, kisses all over your face, and hands all over your body. However, once the two of you are in bed and you have already fallen asleep, he'll admire you for a little bit longer before pulling you close as if he's afraid that you'll leave him, was he being too much? Well, he just can’t help it when he holds so much adoration and love for you.
KAEDEHARA KAZUHA — Communication is the key so when he’s upset or jealous over something, he’ll tell you about it. Not in a way that it feels like he’s reporting some sort of news or topic to you, straightforward and clear—”I am jealous because of this guy that was starting at you,”—but in a roundabout way: asking so much questions, going back and forth a certain event, his mouth lingering on the topic that made him jealous without saying he’s jealous. He just gets repetitive, hoping that you’ll realize and thankfully, due to the fact that he keeps on talking and speaking over something, you’ll eventually realize what’s going on and once he sees that you do, he just laughs nervously and says: “I’m being childish, aren’t I?”
DILUC RAGNVINDR — He silently looms his jealousy over. Silence, silence, silence, that's the only treatment that you will get from him at first except for the short responses and such as he’s busy dealing with his own emotions, his mind muddled with the thoughts that he shouldn’t get jealous over something so small or petty. He just doesn’t know how to act and what to do, resulting in you receiving the silent treatment from him. However, he would then succumb to his emotions after minutes, suffering more from what he’s giving and not talking to you than the feeling of jealousy itself which will lead to him eventually telling you about what he felt and seeing how adorable he is, how he tries to maintain his demeanor and composure, kissing him would be inevitable.
© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
#yae publishing house#kaveh x reader#thoma x reader#cyno x reader#wanderer x reader#alhaitham x reader#ayato x reader#kazuha x reader#diluc x reader#tighnari x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact headcanons#genshin fluff#genshin headcanons#genshin imagines#genshin x you#genshin fanfic#genshin impact x reader#azul.writes
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