#just… struggle to read and write in ways that are understood by other people. like scholarly ways 💀 LOL. i don’t understand my readings but

[pepprs]

and ithink that makes me. A bad person and/or bad at my job btw. like how can i so loudly refuse to learn and complain about learning and yet be an ambassador for / cocreator of a thriving denoceacynwhen learning is at the core of it. and when i literaly work in education and am a teacher or some shit. idk.

[halfricanloveyou]

here’s the thing about being nonbinary for me personally: it is not and has never been about breaking boundaries or daring to be different or freedom of gender expression that made me suddenly choose to be nonbinary.

i have always been this way. i’ve always known but never fully understood why i felt so uncomfortable being a woman. it had nothing to do with leaning more towards femininity or masculinity or gender roles or hating women.

i have always felt that i have never been a woman. it never felt right to me being defined as one. though i share a lot of experiences with women due to society seeing me as a woman and people in society treating me that way, disliking femininity wasn’t what made me think i was nonbinary.

what made me really fully realize and understand was when i realized that when it came to me personally, i didn’t care about femininity OR masculinity. i didn’t really think in those kinds of terms when it came to myself either. the idea of gender isn’t one i felt applied to me, as a person.

i didn’t care about being a woman. i didn’t care about what things were labeled as “feminine” or what i was supposed to be like as a woman. i didn’t WANT to be a woman. i didn’t feel like a woman.

at the same time, i didn’t want to be masculine. i didn’t want to be seen as a man. though i feel i have more in common with men, i still never felt that i was a man.

it was always really difficult and alienating for me, not understanding why i felt so much dysphoria at being seen as a woman OR as a man. why being called either just never felt fully right to me. why trying to be either felt like a chore or a costume i had to put on, and when i was called or mistaken as either i felt like i wanted to scream and cry. why i never understood why i wasn’t good enough as either gender, not feminine enough or masculine enough, not fitting into either category.

i tried to force myself to be a woman. i tried really hard to be more feminine, really hard to force myself to see myself as a woman. i tried really hard to be like the many women i know and have known. and i tried the same on the opposite end. i tried to force myself to be more masculine. i tried to dress differently and posture differently. and it still felt deeply wrong to me.

i’d always appealed more to animals specifically because they didn’t have to worry or care about whether they were seen as boys or girls and they could be loved just as dearly even when their owners had no idea or what gender they were. how being a girl or a boy had very little impact on who they were because it didn’t really matter to them, and how people were always excited to see a dog or cat and what gender they thought the animal was didn’t change how they approached that animal because in reality, whether the animal was a boy or a girl came secondary to the fact that it WAS a pet, a dog or a cat, and in reality nobody really cared about what gender the animal was. and the animal itself also didn’t care or have any sense of it’s own gender outside of hormones and reproduction.

with the several farm cats i owned gender meant nothing when it came to their group dynamics: the cats that were “in charge” or the more combative cats that would chase off and fight cats outside of their colony or the ones who would hunt and bring food to share with each other, who were protective of the other cats in the colony and would attack any troublemakers that intentionally tried to pick a fight; or the ones who preferred to lay back and were more affectionate, who would all lay together and who would simply sit and stare when a cat they were unfamiliar with tried to enter their territory; or the cats that were the ones who seemed to be targeted and picked on by the other cats, who pushed the boundaries of the cats around them, who would randomly pick fights just to lose consistently, who would growl at the other cats and get into spats only to run away or be chastised; gender had nothing to do with which cats tended to fall into which role.

the cats i had that tended to be skittish or aggressive or active or affectionate…gender had no bearing on any of that. i always felt so jealous of that. i wanted to be a cat (especially in childhood lol) because i wanted to live in a world that had a dynamic like that. a world where gender didn’t matter, where no one really had any concept of gender and it really didn’t matter. no cat cared about whether the other was male or female and it didn’t change how they interacted. (unless it was something like intact male vs neutered male or female cat in heat and male cat)

when i finally heard the term non binary, that it was something that even existed, i knew instantly that it sounded like me. i was scared at first, went through a lot of self doubt and questioning myself, calling myself stupid for considering it. but then i started to understand what it really meant.

a gender identity that is neither male or female. a gender identity where the concept of gender simply didn’t apply. an identity where you didn’t have to pick one or the other or lean into one or the other. and once i finally let myself accept that identity i finally felt right. i didn’t have to pretend to care or go out of my way to be feminine or masculine. i didn’t have to care about being a lady or a woman or lean into being a man or wanting to present as masculine or any of that. i didn’t have to be what i was “supposed to be.” i didn’t have to be a tomboy or a girl that was proud to have masculine interests and still be as much of a woman as a feminine girly type of woman. i didn’t have to be a man at my core, being proud to have feminine interests while defining myself as just as much of a man as a more masculine man.

none of those felt right or felt like me or who i was. knowing that i didn’t have to force myself to be any gender or present/lean into any feminine or masculine ideal was freeing to me. that i could like any of the things i wanted without really thinking about whether they were feminine or masculine was so relieving. i could decide it didn’t matter to me. i could be someone who was neither or someone who none of those ideas applied to.

though i still suffer from low self esteem issues and mental health issues, i finally don’t hate myself for not being able to choose one identity or the other. i finally understand why i am the way that i am and why i felt so wrong and inadequate and unable to be the woman or man i was supposed to want to be.

in understanding that i didn’t have to be either if i didn’t want to, i was finally able to accept the person i’ve always been. and i’m finally able to accept that that person exists, even if people don’t understand or are disgusted by them or make fun of them. even though it’s supposed to be one or the other. i don’t have to choose. i don’t have to pick the option my body is biologically defined as.

[hotnbloodied]

Hiiii can I request popular yandere classmate x oblivious reader, oh and can it be smut pleassee?

Thanks for your ask! I started randomly naming all my yanderes even if they are all one shots, I don't know if I want to keep it though. We'll see. This one almost fucking tore me to shreds, I might need a break after this. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

-˚ʚ♡ɞ˚HB˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Yan!Popular Boy X Oblivious Reader (!!SMUT!!)

!Warning! This post contains yandere themes and topics that may be uncomfortable to people who are sensitive to the topic, read at your own discretion.

CW: not proof read, yous/yours used, gn reader, there is SEX, sloppy lewd writing, yandere tendencies, reader is kind of silly here. (LMK if I'm missing anything.)

!!READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!! MINORS DNI!!

It was the first group project of the year! You and three other people were going to be randomly assigned together to work on a research project about something or another. The first two seemed like nice people but the third was Atticus, your friends have talked about him before. Wasn’t he popular or something? When the group met face to face you finally understood why, he was funny, charismatic and quite the looker. Your group decided to meet up in the library and you thanked your lucky stars that it seemed everyone was working well with each other. The other two in the group knew each other and were friends so when one of them had to leave later on in the day the other one did so as well leaving you and Atticus the only ones in the group still in the library.

Without the other two here, people were more inclined to come by to say hi to Atticus causing him to get distracted, you didn’t care much honestly, you had work to do after all. You overheard a couple of the people who came to talk to Atticus talk about some sort of group karaoke and that he should join them. “Sorry guys, I’m still with my group partner,” he apologized. You looked up, “it’s all good, this is just the first day after all.” Atticus looked at you incredulously. “See? Even your groupmate thinks it’s fine. Join us, Atticus, the girls are asking for you.” Internally he was annoyed, he already said no and the least his groupmate could do was back him up. Were you really that stupid? Eventually though, he was able to convince them to leave him alone. But when he turned expecting to see you still sitting there you were gone. Your stuff was still here so he assumed you went to get more material to research.

Scanning over the library he spots you eventually, struggling to reach for a book on a higher shelf. He sighs and starts walking over to assist but it turns into a run when he notices that you’re about to get toppled by said books. He covers you from getting hurt and curses at himself because having books fall on him fucking hurts. “What are you doing?” He says sternly, “if you can’t reach something ask for help.” He gasps, some of his true self leaked out, his image of a prince type is over. “Dang I’m sorry, you’re right. No sense in getting myself hurt, thanks! By the way, are you okay?” Suddenly, his heart raced, he didn’t know why. It might have been the way you looked under him currently, or it might have been the way you accept his rough tone with you, but either way he was going to explore it, explore you.

The project goes by smoothly, you still hang out with Atticus since the two of you exchanged numbers due to the project. You found it really weird though, each time you hung out with him and his friends, his friends were never able to make it. You hope you’re not scaring them away. Little did you know that if anyone is scaring people away it’s Atticus. The more time he spent with you was like heaven but also hell. He loved spending time and learning new things about you but, fuck, why were you not picking up any of the hints and flirty signs he was giving you?! Like today when it was just the two of you again, you two were at the movies and he tried to get an arm over your shoulder. “Oh my! Are you cold? Here, you can have my jacket.” And wrapped him up in your jacket! Sure, being able to smell your scent was nice but that’s not what he wanted! To rub salt on the wound too, after the movies his friends spotted him and invited you two to join them and you ACCEPTED! “Oh sorry, were you guys on a date?” One of his friends asked. “Oh no, we’re just chilling! We’d love to join you!” You responded. He almost choked up blood.

He went to his last resort and feigned sickness. Worry etched your face and you apologized as you helped carry him away. He convinced you to go to his place since it was nearby and was a bit hurt that you agreed so readily, you were going to be in a private space with him after all. Arriving at his place you helped him inside, all the way to his room. As you wished him better and got up to leave he tugged your arm. “Wait a minute,” he says. “Hm? What’s up, need something?” He hugs you, “I… I need you.” Not sure what he meant, but feeling like he needed this, you hugged him and both of you stayed like that for a while. That was, until his lower half decided to act up. “Do you, uh, need help with that?” You ask, almost too innocently. His face flushed, “help with this…?” “Of course, a boner is a natural part of your body, you know. Though I also heard that boners don’t happen just because someone is horny though…are you horny?” Atticus felt the blood rush to his head, all he could do was meekly nod.

You were sucking on his member, he could tell that you’ve done something like this before but maybe not too often due to the slight hesitation you exhibited. Regardless though he never imagined you would have been so willing to do this for him, should he have asked sooner? The sight of your mouth wrapped so prettily around his cock, he wasn’t the type that was quick to cum but just because it was you doing this act on him he felt close. He couldn’t have that, so he grabbed your shoulder and urged you on to his bed. “Take off your clothes,” he instructs. You did as he told, he gulped, he wanted this for how long now? It felt surreal that this was real. He couldn’t help but use his hands to explore your body, groping, touching, feeling your warmth. Your breathing quickened, you weren’t sure why he was taking so long, his exploration of your body started making you feel needy. You were close to telling him to hurry but let out a yelp when he started to suck and lick on your chest. He worked his way down to your lower area.

“What are you doing? Is all this necessary?” You ask him. “Please,” he begged, “I just need this, won’t you let me?” You whimpered, this is good and all but all this teasing is something you aren’t used to. He sucked and tongue prodded you for a while, you said that you would let him do what he wanted but you wanted to release soon and his tongue wasn’t doing that for you. “Hey, uh– hnn!!” Before you could say anything more he inserted a finger then two into you, rhythmically finger fucking you. Making sure to brush against your g spot each time. You were so close and Atticus knew it, so he stopped making you whine even louder. “Why did you stop?” “Grind on my dick,” he ordered. Sluggishly you got up and did as he was told. “Don’t even try to insert before I allow you to.” So you rubbed your sensitive area against him, slow at first but even you can grow impatient and you’ve been that for a while. Your wetness making a mess and with your bodies grinding against each other a squelching sound reverberated through the room along with the heavy panting and moaning. “Soon please?” You begged. Atticus needed you badly as well so he pushed you down on the bed again and aligned himself before pushing in causing you to scream out from the intrusion. He jackhammered you silly, “fuck, fuck, fuck, please. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” he chanted like a mantra, “I need you so bad.” What followed was one of the hardest orgasms you ever had. He unsheathed from you and quickly went to your face marking your face all over with his seed.

After a couple of beats you asked, “hey, uh, can I have some napkins?” “S-sorry,” he scrambled to his drawer and took out a box of tissues. After you cleaned yourself up you asked, “I’d like to borrow your bathroom.” He told you that it was down the hall. You took your clothes and left his room, when you came back you thanked him. “Well that was fun! I’m going to head home now. I’ll see you later alright?” And left. He was shocked, how fucking clueless can you be?? He was going to make sure you understood that you were his now and he was going to move heaven and hell to make sure that happens, his darling.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

on tumblr lot more people know about it which great! that improve life of all AAC users. but pretty much with anything disability/developmental disability space on social media (which need certain amount of cognitive/intellectual & language abilities be on even if have support), good majority you see be teen & adult people who already literate learn language via speech n write *first* n then *independently* learn AAC base on it *later*.

especially symbol based AAC, but all AAC, is new system n hard n take long time learn even when you literate & not moderately severely cognitively disabled. but also, “literate teen/adult independent learn AAC” not at all full face of AAC user community.

as in like. experience of theirs. not universal. independently motivated & able to look up different AAC options different AAC apps, compare n contrast. download app n immediately know how to use, or able figure out by self. first time use app n may be clunky n slow, but make sentence on first try. need learn AAC, but most of that learning is for where words are (if button based), how exist as AAC user in public with confidence, etc. those all valid but not true for everyone who need AAC, especially not developmentally disabled children (& some adults) with complex communication needs.

most developmentally disabled children (n some adults) w complex communication needs who need AAC, can’t just hand them tablet with symbol based AAC app or text to speech AAC app n then wait for magic. many of them developmentally delayed in way, not taught in way that fit them (e.g. gestalt language processors), n their language abilities behind peers, so they can’t read, can’t spell, can’t grammar, etc.

some of them need learn where word is not by read word, sometimes not even by understand symbol, instead is by other people press button n hear sound n associate that with meaning n location on AAC n symbol associate with it. in other words, they learning language alongside AAC.

for some their learn process look like, learn how use AAC say one word. n then much later, try make two word message, “want food” “go school.” “two word message” incredibly common goal for many these developmentally disabled children, teens, n even adults, that is something rare n truly extraordinary for that person that need be celebrated.

for others it look like learn by phrase (gestalt), then slowly break it down into smaller phrase n chunks n finally single words.

many of them babble (click random/seemingly random buttons on high tech device, stim with it, etc). but ultimately, won’t be able learn all by self. need be taught, see you accidentally spill water n crying, maybe you “feel” “sad”, n when that happen you “need” “help” from adult. need learn AAC by adults around them constantly model with it, constantly use it in conversation, show them how use. because they learning language along side it.

but also some of them don’t know what this thing in front of them (AAC… device, low tech boards or picture cards, etc) is. don’t know what communication is or you should do that. don’t know people exist who you should communicate to & with. heard many parents n SLP say they try model all time, try all kind of stuff, but child just not seem interested in it, don’t look at it, don’t touch it, don’t use it.

people who use AAC, not all them struggle with only speech. some them struggle with language, with intellectual/cognitive. some of them very developmentally delayed.

n some people, too disabled learn or use AAC. yeah, they exist.

for people who cannot use / cannot only use speech to be understood, AAC can be life changing. but is so much more complex thing. AAC still not as widely used n accepted n properly taught n supported as should, some parents n professionals n schools still many pushback n refuse. but sometimes answer to “have you tried AAC for them” is “yes, but they need long time n lots help to learn n we not very far yet even though spent long time on it” or “yes, but they simply not show interest even after constant model” or “god, wish can, but insurance only cover if show some amount of communication competence n ability use AAC, while only give 1 month trial, which simply not enough time” (wide spread thing that happen) or “yes. many types. it not work.”

for many AAC users & AAC user-to-be, it not as simple as “be handed AAC n check back in while they figure out by self”

[astrow0rldx]

PAC TAROT: Shadow Work

Piles read left to right. Really use your intuition for which one calls to you to read. This Reading will be a little different, because it's ai generated. But hear me out, it's extremely accurate. I pull the tarot cards, and questions and it makes a story using automatic creative writing skills. In the story format it should help understand better.

Pile One

You present yourself as someone grounded and nurturing, someone who has it all together—capable, reliable, and a provider of stability. You wear this mask of self-sufficiency with grace, offering support and care to those around you. There’s a warmth to how you handle life, as if you’re always the one others can lean on. Yet, beneath this persona, there’s a quiet dissatisfaction, an emotional numbness that you don’t let others see. You feel disconnected, like something essential is missing, but you avoid acknowledging it, preferring to maintain the image of having everything under control.

Deep down, there’s a fear of rejection and abandonment that colors how you see yourself and your place in the world. This fear stems from past experiences where you felt left out or unworthy, perhaps from moments when you reached out for support and were met with coldness or lack. That sense of being shut out has led you to withdraw emotionally, burying your desires and vulnerabilities under layers of self-protection. However, this hidden wound shapes how you move through the world—it keeps you from fully expressing the vibrant, fiery side of yourself, the part of you that is bold, passionate, and fearless. While you project strength, this shadow lingers in the background, holding you back from fully owning your power.

Your shadow comes to the surface when you’re confronted by people or situations that reflect confidence and control, especially when they embody traits you’ve repressed. These encounters stir something inside you, triggering internal conflict as your shadow self clashes with the persona you’ve carefully built. The lesson in this struggle is to reconnect with your emotional core, to allow yourself to feel deeply and openly once again. Healing comes through embracing the tension, acknowledging that inner battles are a part of your growth. By working through this, you’ll move toward a more patient and nurturing relationship with yourself, where you invest in long-term growth and understand that healing is a process—one that requires steady effort and care.

Pile Two

She finds herself in a state of suspension, caught between holding onto control and surrendering to the unknown. Outwardly, she appears strong, composed, and authoritative, someone who takes charge with ease and thrives in an orderly world. She presents herself as the one in control, the one who always knows what to do. However, beneath this confident exterior, she’s struggling with uncertainty. She feels stuck, as if the answers she’s searching for are just out of reach, and in order to find them, she knows she must let go of the rigid expectations she’s placed on herself. She wears the mask of authority, but behind it, she is deeply uncertain, torn between what she knows and what she longs to discover.

At her core, she craves connection—a relationship where she can feel deeply understood and loved. There's a romantic within her, yearning for a bond that feels effortless and sincere, as if she’s waiting for that perfect emotional partnership. But she’s haunted by past disappointments, memories of love that didn’t turn out the way she hoped. This loss lingers, making her cautious about trusting her heart again. She often revisits those past moments of grief, wondering what went wrong and fearing that opening herself up to love again will lead to more heartbreak. As much as she wants love, the weight of her emotional past makes her guard her feelings, holding back from diving fully into new connections.

Her fears and vulnerabilities surface when emotions become overwhelming, or when she’s faced with situations that push her to move too fast. In those moments, she becomes protective, holding onto her feelings and resources tightly, afraid of losing control or being vulnerable. Her instinct is to cling to what she knows, but there’s also a deeper truth: her dreams and fantasies about what could be are not just idle thoughts. They reflect her true desires, the part of her that longs to break free from her hesitation and embrace all the possibilities that life offers. To heal, she needs to release the fear of losing control, to trust that even if things are uncertain, the journey ahead is rich with opportunities—ones she’s fully capable of seizing, if only she lets go.

Pile Three

She is moving through a period of transition, quietly distancing herself from past conflicts and emotional turbulence. Her journey, both literal and metaphorical, is one of seeking peace and clarity after enduring a storm. On the outside, she may seem calm, as though she’s finally found her direction, but the waters behind her are still unsettled. Internally, she is recovering from struggles, possibly with others or even within herself. The tension and discord she’s left behind still echo in her thoughts, making it difficult for her to fully let go. While she appears to be progressing, there is a quiet battle inside her, as if she’s constantly bracing for the next challenge.

Her internal struggle centers on patience and the need to balance her desires with the reality of what she’s building. She has invested time and energy into something—perhaps a relationship, a career, or personal growth—and now she waits, unsure of the outcome. There's a restlessness beneath her calm exterior, a feeling of competition, either with herself or with others. She yearns for stability and celebration, for a moment when she can finally relax and feel secure, but she is deeply aware that the foundation she’s working on still needs time to solidify. Emotionally, she is tied to the idea of love and partnership, but her past battles have made her wary. Love feels both close and distant, like something she craves but is cautious about fully embracing.

Her emotional depth runs deep, though she doesn’t always show it. She is someone who feels intensely, yet she’s learned to control and temper her feelings. When her emotions rise, they are powerful, but she channels them carefully, maintaining a composed exterior. Her greatest strength lies in her intuition. She often knows more than she lets on, reading situations and people with a subtle, almost mystical understanding. But this also makes her guarded, as if she’s protecting herself from being hurt again. She’s been through many trials, and though she’s weary, she remains resilient. Her journey is far from over, and while the battles she’s faced have left her cautious, they have also made her wiser. She stands ready to move forward, but she knows the path ahead will require both patience and strength.

[atlasofoverthinking]

The Problem with the League of Villains

this is just me ranting after reading many people say that the lov deserved a better ending (i agree with them don't worry). most of that stuff has already been said but i'm bored and need something to write

so why is everyone disappointed?

by definition, an antagonist is someone that goes against the main character(s) and a villain is someone who does immoral and/or illegal things (wow, shocking)

so by definition, the league of villains is aptly named. shigaraki and dabi are mass murderers, toga is a killer too, and even if the others are 'less dangerous' they're all guilty of terorism and kidnapping a teenager.

not nice, right? then why would anyone would want them to have a good ending?

long story short: horikoshi made the league too sympathetic and relatable

when horikoshi has decided to make them funny, he's decided to make them likeable. that's not enough though. you can find a fictional villain funny and not root for them (for some reason the examples that comes to my mind are the disney villains. captain hook is hilarious but no one wants him to win)

the cause of everyone's disappointment is the relatable part. everyone in the league has gone through stuff viewers can relate. touya, shigaraki and toga have been abused; twice has mental health issues (and stuggling to get a job is relatable too lmao); spinner has been discriminated against... you get the idea

and even without knowing their backstory, most of the league's fights can be considered noble: they want to change society and make the world a better place. to take a more precise example, the league kidnapped bakugou because they thought he had gone through similar struggle as them

(this is mr compress talking in chapter 85) as far as i've seen, most of the fandom either think bakugou being chained and muzzled at the end of the sport festival was just comic relief or agree that it was fucked up

so yeah, you can't put a group of people rejected by society, who just want a better world and expect people to not like them

and that's why their ending is disappointing (the rest contains heavy spoilers of the last few chapters of mha)

they're all either in jail or six feet underground. we rationally could understand it, they're all criminals/villains so of course they wouldn't get a happy ending and face consequences for their actions. the only one who could have gotten away with it is shigaraki because of all the grooming/brainwashing he's gone through and maybe toga because she's a child

but if you relate to a character, you want them to get a happy ending. of course fans would want dabi to be at peace, but instead he's forced to spend his last moments being stared at by his abuser). of course fans would want shigaraki to be free from afo (but instead his only freedom was death). of course fans would want toga to be understood and cared for (but she never had that opportunity)

that's not very 'save to win' out of you horikoshi

maybe it's just a shortcut made by the fandom, but the league are seen more as victims of abuse than actual criminals. i mean, what's more important in dabi's story? the fact that he burned himself alive after overworking himself to get his abusive father's attention, or the fact that he's burned people alive? probably both, but there's more focus on the first element.

and obviously we would want abuse victims to get a happy ending

basically, their ending isn't coherent with what we've seen of them, and that's why people are disappointed

btw, the same logic applies to stain. some fans agree with stain's reasoning bc he's fighting against corruption. of course, his logic is stupid and he's delusional but he's introduced not long after we've discovered shouto's past. you can't say "one of the most popular heroes is abusing + all he wants is to get n°1 to satisfy his own ego" and then follow with "see that guy fighting against corruption? he's bad, don't do that"

the clever way to make sure no one would agree with stain would have been to make the heroes fight against injustice with good methods. i live for the fanfics in which izuku takes down the hpsc

okay i'm done ranting thanks for reading

[c-53]

Just cause I have no one else to talk to about this with-one of my "favorite" things about Mouthwashing is how it doesn't portray rape as being just this terrible thing committed by some monster boogieman, but being done by a human. someone who has feelings about it, even if they're shitty and off the mark. Someone who you're gonna have to find a way to face at work the next day. Mouthwashing isn't perfect, but I think that most other media is really dismissive of rape in one direction or another. Either victims don't matter, or perpetrators are unmentionable monsters. It's a little tough to swallow, but usually, this is just a reality for victims. It makes me feel more understood. you know?

No yeah I’ve discussed this a lot with some other people.

Jimmy being a rapist isn’t the core of his character. Its a culmination of other factors present in his personality, that are all grounded in realistic fears, desires, and insecurities. Like he’s some asshole you could know in real life. You learn about these traits and see him as a person, before you learn he is a rapist. Playing as him also really cements him as a person in a really solid way, like you occupy his headspace, and follow his problem solving, and experience the player entitlement to do everything and have everything that is inherent to him and his personality.

Likewise you learn about Anya, before you see her as a victim. You see her anxiety and distance and discomfort around Jimmy first, and its very clear she doesn’t want to talk about it head on despite it eating her up. It trusts you to read between the lines. This manner of setting them up avoids the pitfall of the dismissiveness you mentioned, where a character - in writing, and reader interpretation - are a rapist and victim first and foremost, and reduced to those facts.

Because like you said. Rape in fiction is USUALLY handled poorly. Often in one of two ways: the violent and uncompassionate monster with no sympathetic qualities and? No motive beyond cruelty? Or like. Passion of love that transcends boundaries. And both are entirely bullshit. In real life its just someone who’s entitled and self centered in just the right wrong way (a mode of thought you, as a player, are guided to follow before the information is revealed), and then someone else who has to struggle with the fact it happened and how to move forward. And most of the time in these situations, the victim feels they can’t say anything, due to the structures of punishment, or the proximity that would have allowed such a thing to occur - with that being driven to an extreme in mouthwashing.

Idk. I’m rambling but its realistic, and thoughtful, and I’ve been very impressed with the depth it manages to convey without telling you what to think, or even saying too much out loud. which is very appreciated.

[sunsh1n3s]

— lecture. ( don hume x reader )

a.n. sorry for the long wait for a fic from me. english and nursing class have been kicking my ass!! please enjoy this fic, the plot is inspired by parts of the book and this ask :)

contains. swearing, fem!reader

coach ulbrickson’s fake races were killing don. the boys were finally organized into decent working boats, and he made sure of it. working them for hours with races or practices, making sure they met his standards. don’s boat relied on him the most, as he created the pace and kept them somewhat stable. it was also a curse, creating the new pace and fighting against the speed of the old one; wearing don down like some type of machine.

he did it with no complaint, still rowing and racing with ease. but it came back to taunt him once he laid in bed and struggled to wake up in the morning.

not only were his teammates aware of it, his table partner in his class was also.

y/n sat beside him in their chemistry class, not one she’d advise anyone to sleep in. she noticed twice now that he dosed off, but never said anything or disturbed him; as he never talked to her or disturbed her. she didn’t mind him though, she doubted that he’d ever disturb her.

don was always quiet and calm, so spending the hour of lecture or experiments beside him was something she preferred over her other classes. however, she didn’t know much about him other than his olympic level skill on the rowing team. but y/n knew about his talent, and how valuable he was to the team. she had sat nearby him and his teammates in the study hall, yet her and her friends always had to move because they slowly got louder. they always had something to say about don’s skill.

y/n was not the only one picking up on things about the table partner. don noticed many things about y/n also, he always noticed her. he was frequently too nervous to say anything to her, though she was probably one of the easiest people to talk to. she was well known around school, just because of her social skills, smarts, and kindness. don felt lucky to sit beside her, even if it sounded strange to say. he was just scared that one wrong thing would ruin the calm be had beside her, even if they never really spoke to one another.

another day, another chemistry class. don made his way in before y/n, like normal. he waited to hear her laughter as she walked in alongside her friend, only parting to go to her seat. he glanced at the door, then his watch. as if she was following a routine, don heard y/n’s familiar laugh and goodbye to her friend as she scooted past people to sit beside don.

“good morning.” she greeted like usual, flashing him a smile. “morning.” he replied, giving her a small one. don acted like his ears weren’t red, and y/n didn’t dare to say anything. she looked down at her notebook with a small smile, waiting for the professor to start lecturing.

once he did, don fought sleep to take notes shown on the board or whatever he heard the professor say that seemed important. it was like his muscles and eyes fought against him. the lights off, dim projector light, and comfort of the calmness between him and y/n; don was set to fall asleep.

once he did, he was out.

somehow his breathing was as silent as he normally was. y/n noticed this once when she took notes for him.

like she had before, y/n grabbed his notebook and read where he was at, adding her own notes while the teacher continued to ramble on. she understood don’s exhaustion, so she didn’t mind writing some for him. she matched his notes to hers and made sure to neatly write so he could read what she wrote for him.

don woke, face flushed when he realized he fell asleep. y/n noticed and slid over his notebook with a small smile, continuing to take her notes while he blinked at the notebook in front of him. don glanced at her and started writing more notes, embarrassed at how messy his handwriting seemed in comparison to hers. “thank you.” he whispered, making her blush and smile at him. “anytime.” she replied.

the gesture didn’t go unnoticed by him, and it didn’t go unnoticed by his teammates.

“don, what the hell happened to your handwriting?” bobby asked, making chuck lean over to look at the nicely written handwriting, semi cursive. they looked at him, along with some of the other boys.

don turned red, “i fell asleep. y/n took my notes and wrote what i missed down.” he explained, you could hear the glee in his voice yet he didn’t smile; he didn’t want to create chaos.

the boys looked at him shocked, y/n, the popular and smart girl of don’s class noticed him. “how long has she been doing this?” bobby asked, leaning over to look more at the papers. don paused his work and looked back, flipping a few times through the notes. “like four times.” he replied.

“don she’s got feelings for you. you have to ask her out.” john said. don sat there in silence, shaking his head. “no i’m good.” he replied, making them all groan and sigh. “well the girls next to me don’t take my notes for me while i’m asleep, they don’t even look at me. she’s into you.” rodger explained, getting up to leave.

“she’d be better with the football guys over there.” don said, turning and looking over to see y/n standing with her friends while they talked with a few of the guys on the football team. y/n glanced over and noticed them staring, she held eye contact with don and waved slightly. he nodded at her as his way of waving and they both looked away. bobby noticed the smile that lingered on her face, fixing her hair and talking less to the guys.

“you know you did play football, basketball, and ran track. you have those guys beat.” bobby informed, looking at don again. all don could do was brush him off, convinced the well known and social girl would go for the quiet and lesser known guy.

“you need to tell her you like her, or ask her out or something.” bobby continued, glancing at him and back at y/n, who moved away from a guy’s action to keep her close. her friends looked at her and she gave them a defensive look, “she’s reserved for someone, maybe you.” roger spoke, shocked at the beauty denying the guy.

“don’t get my hopes up.” don said monotonously, watching her in awe.

don stood in front of ulbrickson with chuck, jim, and george. he looked at a paper and looked up at them, “you boys need to get your grades up.” he started, pressing them into the importance of academics and being on the team, a lecture they heard before.

they couldn’t say much against his disappointment and slight irritation. don just watched and remained silent, something he was decent at but it irritated ulbrickson. “hume, you have to ace your final exam. fail it and we lose you- i cannot lose you. don’t grow an ego about that.” ulbrickson warned. don nodded, listening to his coach’s command.

“maybe get a tutor to help, or a study friend.” he weakly implied, desperate for don to keep up with his grades.

the implication or suggestion from ulbrickson fueled bobby’s ideas and demands that don had to ask y/n out. he found the pairing perfect, and he had talked to y/n before; she wouldn’t turn down helping don, regardless of how she felt about him.

when he could, bobby spoke on y/n, but never too much. it reached the point where they stood in front of y/n, don looking down at her quiet, while bobby stood beside him with a small smile. “am i being interrogated?” she asked, with a small nervous smile.

“don has a question that’s all, don’t ya don?” bobby quipped, nudging his friend. don nodded and hummed, “i need help studying for our final, i thought maybe we both could study together.” he explained, saying the most he’s ever said to y/n; ever.

y/n blinked and smiled, “i’d love to.” she answered softly, and don felt faint. “i thought i’d have to ask to see you myself, but i’m glad you did.” she teased. don blushed a bit, “you want to see me more?” he asked, adjusting his bracelet out of nerves. he wanted to disappear yet stay in the moment forever. y/n nodded at the question, “yeah, i think you’re cool.” she admitted. bobby was grinning now, don would never hear the end of it after this.

y/n could sense the slight awkwardness, “okay! so tomorrow let me know when you’re free. i’ll see you.” she bid her goodbyes with a smile and walked away, don could hear the flutter of hellos she gave to people she passed. he stood there shocked whilst bobby smiled at him. “got yourself a date.” bobby teased.

don turned to watch her leave, smiling slightly.

the glow don got from asking her, or knowing he had plans with her, lasted throughout his practice. don improved his strokes and practiced well, it was noticeable. what caused don to glide smoother and bloom in confidence? the confident one herself.

soon enough, the guys knew, and it was the talk in the jv boat until don went on his study date.

“i really don’t know much.” don said, realizing how behind and lost he was in the lectures. y/n looked up from her book, “do you need me to explain anything?” she asked, sliding out of her seat to sit in the empty one beside him.

don’s posture straightened and his breath caught in his throat, he looked at her and nodded. “alright so,” she jumped into explanation, pointing at what the notes said and the equations in front of them. don listened, looking at her face then back at her hands then back at her face. her knowledge was attractive, making her more beautiful.

“you’re lucky i know this unit. otherwise we’d be fucked.” she spoke, making him laugh slightly at her cursing. “yeah-yeah, we don’t want that.” don said, smiling at her. y/n looked up at him, returning the smile.

they both worked on their equations that they were advised would help on the quiz. don glanced at y/n’s paper, and y/n herself. she flowed through the worksheet somewhat easily, she cursed to herself here and there, erasing the whole equation.

an hour passed, they both sat in comfortable silence; y/n remained by don’s side. eventually she finished the entirety of the studying, and don completed a bit after her. they both groaned and rubbed their eyes in result of staring at the paper for hours. knuckles cracked, shoulders were rolled, and sighs were let out. the two were exhausted.

y/n rested her head on the table, letting out a long sigh. don watched her with a small smile, “want to go out and get ice cream?” he asked, checking his watch. coach wouldn’t kill him for a small cone and coming back at eight pm. y/n sat up tiredly, smiling at don. “i do owe you for your time.” don added, smiling sheepishly. y/n yawned and shook her head, “i enjoy spending time with you. i’d love to get ice cream.” she agreed, needing a pick me up and wanted more time with him.

so the two packed up their bags and left the library. it was cooler out as the night came by, but it was perfect. together, they walked side by side towards the ice cream shop, gradually getting closer.

don opened the door for y/n and took her bag, letting her order and relax while he followed with his own order. y/n noticed the gestures, feeling special by them. don looked at her, catching her staring. she smiled and so did he, “what?” he asked quietly while they waited for their cones. y/n simply shook her head, “you’re just handsome, personality and looks.” she complimented. don was slightly taken aback, he smiled and tried to form a sentence. however they were both interrupted by the worker, handing them their ice cream.

both don and y/n sat outside next to one another, they both stared out at the water that don constantly fought against. “you have hope in this test that’ll save you your spot on the team?” y/n teased, looking at him. don chuckled, “if anything, you saved me my spot.” he replied. y/n became flustered and looked away from him, silently eating as her cheeks and ears burned.

“you’re truly a lifesaver. to me and like everyone you help and know. which is a lot.” he continued, making her laugh and nudge him. “not a lot.” she replied, making him shake his head. “not true, you’re like the most well known girl here. not because of only your beauty, your smarts and kindness too.” don explained, going silent when he realized he admitted his thoughts of her.

y/n was now the one speechless, “you’re too kind.” she said, smiling at him. he shook his head again, “it’s just the truth.” he replied. y/n took in his features and his small sly smile, he let his eyes move down her face then back to her eyes. it was the perfect moment to make a move, don took a second longer, “are you into any of those football guys?” he asked nervously, quietly. “anyone more known?” he added. y/n caught his drift, or his nervousness, and shook her head.

“no im just into this one rower who falls asleep next to me in class, i really like him and like to see him succeed so i help him by taking his notes.” y/n admitted, smiling at don. a full smile grew on his face, “really?” he asked. y/n nodded and don took it as the actual perfect opportunity, kissing her gently.

they both sat there, pulling away with bashful smiles. “once we pass, we should go out for ice cream again. or just go out again eventually.” she whispered, don smiled at her suggestion, “i’d like that.” he replied and kissed her again.

and so they had their second ice cream date, every year on the same day, even on the night of their wedding. the two were bound to fall in love, it just took several lectures to get to where they needed to be.

a.n hope you enjoyed!

tags: @gvfsstardust

[clarencethemouse]

Bleeding Light (pt. 1)

Nightcrawler x reader

because I'm feral and no one can stop me :)

This has been festering rotting in my brain for a week. This reads like a whole story (and a long one, because I have a lot of thoughts), but my brain spouts better as bullets. So it's bullets. But as a story. Enjoy :))

(also I totally may write out a proper story later. But you get the lore right now)

the Pining.

let it be known that it was mutual. And it was mutual for a Long Time

You were already with someone else when you two met. With his never-ending charm, wit, and kindness, it didn't take long for you to hit it off as good friends.

this soon became a close friendship, often closer emotionally than you were with your partner. You were a mutant, unbeknownst to your partner (out of shame). You trusted them, and they respected mutants, but by the time you gained the courage to tell them, you felt it was too late to risk losing their trust over such a crucial lie. So you maintained this front, masterfully, for over a year

with Kurt, you didn't feel the need to hide. He understood. With him, you could bond and relate life stories in ways you could never with your long-term partner.

it was soon that you began to realize your feelings for Kurt were stretching farther than any other friendship before. And that you liked Kurt more than you ever loved your partner

this tore you up, and you became wracked with guilt. You didn't know how to end it with your partner, though you knew it had to be done. You still loved and cherished the person you spent the last year with, but it wasn't fair to them

over the last several months you two had planned a future together. It was a critical time of your life to gain independence, move out of home, and start your own journeys of life. For so long, you wanted to start this new life with them. It wasn't so simple as breaking up. Their, and your, near future was built upon the assumption that you would marry, as you did love them.

but not as much as you liked Kurt.

Your choice was made when you finally sat down with them and revealed your mutation. One thin cut was made on your hand. Light poured from the skin, igniting both of your faces in shock and fear. As the white blood trickled down your palm, your partner demanded why. Why could you keep this from them? Why did you withhold such an important part of you for so long?

when you could provide no answer they deserved, they walked out.

with your future with them obliterated, you had nowhere to turn. Nowhere to go to escape the psychological torture (and emotional abuse) of your parents' failed marriage. When you turned to Kurt for a deep shoulder to cry on, he provided an answer. An answer he knew would be best for you, and cursed himself that he was more excited about what it could mean for him. The X-Mansion

it only took mere days before you packed everything of value and were stationed at the mansion. It didn't take long for Kurt to convince the professor to let you stay, at least for as long as it took you to get on your feet on your own (and he wanted you to stay because... reasons).

you were more than happy to suggest doing your part as a teacher for the school

settling into the flow of the school, and life so close to people just like you, was a struggle eased by Kurt. He was the new kid before, and just as he had Rogue, you had him.

soon you built your own social circle and support group of friends, fitting perfectly into the puzzle that is the X-Men family. Soon, you were able to grieve your lost love and move on with the world you were always meant for.

...it did not take long for everyone to notice the brighter smiles you offered Kurt. The glances you sent him after making your witty, slightly dirty comments. How he was the first person you sat with during movie night, resting your head on his shoulder as you both grew tired. How you distracted yourself during end-of-the-day classes, searching for him in the hall through the window in your classroom door. How he was the only one you didn't hide the blinding paper cuts and golden scraped knees from.

and it did not take long for everyone to notice the way his tail whipped more excitedly the instant you entered the room. The way he recalled you explaining your day so enthusiastically as if you were the brightest, most wise creature to grace the planet. The way he was always the first to appear by your side after a more gruesome training session, examining every inch of your visible body more thoroughly than Beast. The way when he would let you down after a piggyback ride, his smile faltered ever so slightly to stop touching you.

so Rogue and Gambit formed a plan. Because that's what good friends do

she worked on whittling you down to admit it to yourself. He was happy to encourage Kurt to take more forward action with you. Jubilee soon joined in the plan, and soon there was a whole network of friends conspiring to get you two together because GOD WE ALL SEE IT. THE STUDENTS SEE IT. THE PIGEONS SEE IT. CHARLES AND JEAN HAVE TO SEE IT IN YOUR MINDS EVERY DAMN DAY. GET A ROOM.

and it works

Rogue got it out of you quickly. She was able to help you sort out your feelings and stop feeling so guilty about the past. You did what had to be done, and you never would have been truly happy with your old partner living a life of lies. But you can't lie to Kurt. He knew you deeper than anyone without even trying, and you wished to God he could know you a little better.

it took a month before Gambit was finally able to convince Kurt that you were struggling just the same. Because as much as the man flirted, teased, and worked himself into our attention by any means possible, he could not shake the dreaded pit feeling that you were still someone else's. You were still just out of his reach, and he would never know the feeling of your beautiful lips; your hands beyond high fives and thumb wrestling matches. Never have the honor to show the world everything he wished he could have with you

Kurt met you on the mansion roof. You were minding your business; reading a book and playing with light over the shadows. You didn't want to come inside. And if you were on the roof, that's where Kurt was gonna make himself comfortable. He would hang by the cell tower by just his tail if it meant you would talk to him. Anything if it meant he could tell you the truth.

it started with you looking over at him in a moment of silence, when you truly had no inclination to think he was there with any ulterior motive. Just one thought on the tip of your tongue

"You're so beautiful."

kurt.exe has stopped working

neither of you left the roof. The night wrapped with your head on his chest and his hand in your hair, him wondering where the absolute Hell it all went wrong.

you did wake up around 2 a.m. Sitting up abruptly at the surprise of your position, you were met with Kurt's golden eyes already awake and on you. No one beyond you two knows what happened on the roof that night, but your relationship changed. No more hiding.

when you returned to your lives the next morning, the others didn't need to be told that the mission was successful. Your smiles and bright eyes shared the whole story

[musicalmoritz]

Good Femslash Fics Already Exist

With the whole push for more femslash in fandoms, I’ve never understood the amount of hate I see femslash “fans” direct towards existing creations. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more variety, I do too, but every time someone brings up the fact that femslash fan fictions are already being written someone opens their mouth to say “yeah but those suck.” And then they proceed to read 300+ atrociously mischaracterized mlm fics. They complain abt plotless fluff and then read the exact same pwp scenarios over and over again

And hey, if you don’t want to read femslash that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend it interests you. I’m someone who actively looks for femslash and my only problem has been a lack of content in smaller/male-dominated fandoms, the fics themselves are cute af. Ya’ll are missing out on some real masterpieces by labeling all existing femslash fics as “boring,” some of my favorite fics ever are femslash. If an mlm ship invades the tags just filter it out, filter out every mlm pairing in the fandom if you have to. AO3 gives us that option for a reason

I’m not saying we don’t need more variety, but we’re not going to get that by shitting on writers who actively put in the work to make more femslash. When I started writing femslash consistently it was very discouraging because I’d seen soooooo many people online saying they want more femslash fics, yet nobody was reading mine. Then I looked at the stats on other femslash fics and they were the same, really great fics were barely getting any hits or kudos. It kinda sucks knowing that an mlm fic I wrote in 3 hours got more kudos than a wlw fic I spent months on (for pairings of relatively equal popularity). This seems to be the biggest roadblock for people wanting to write femslash, no one supports it. Even tho fandoms claim they would support it, they never do. It’s something I’ve learned to stop caring about but not every writer is gonna push through

This brings me back to a comment I saw about “boring, hair-braidy wlw fics.” That description really stood out to me, and to this day it makes me feel a little self-conscious about my old femslash fics that were “boring” and “hair-braidy.” But then I came across a fic for this one pairing that had actual hair-braiding. It was incredibly well-written and meaningful, exploring how both characters struggled to ask for help but they were able to recognize each other’s dilemmas and help in subtle ways. They did this, of course, by fixing each other’s hair when they both felt helpless to do anything with it. Such a simple way to express a very deep bond. This made me reassess the way people talk about femslash fics, and the way I’d been thinking of them myself. Is fluff really that much of a crime?? Do all cottagecore-type fics really have no substance?? Do femslash fics have to copy exactly what slash fics are doing, or are they allowed to have their own tropes??

My attitude towards the overload of plotless fluff wlw fics is “this is a good starting point.” We need more people writing femslash, more variety in what is written, but that doesn’t mean what we have is bad. I critique wlw fic tropes a lot but I always give the disclaimer that I actually love the fics themselves, I just want to see more of a different thing. And I comment on every femslash fic I read (every fic I read in general but especially femslash), I try to leave something thoughtful to let the writer know I appreciate the effort they put into their work. You’d be surprised how many writers said they were encouraged to update a fic or write more femslash because of a positive comment I left them. Engaging with fics will give you more of a good thing. It has so much more influence than that video you’re about to make talking about how there’s no good femslash fics. When you say things like that it actually discourages people from writing, and makes them feel bad about things they’ve already written. Support femslash writers guys, it’s sexy

[hunnymisworld]

How Haikyuu Characters would respond to you:

When you ask them for help in making the homework.

SFW | Fluff | Crack | Short AU

N E K O M A VER.

[ READ ME FIRST ]

C O N T E X T: You are a 1st year transfer student in Nekoma HIgh and you've already adjusted to your new environment as well as the new people you met whom you made friends with. You were having a hard time with a homework and decided to ask for help in your fellow classmates/seniors.

KUROO TETSURO

INTIMIDATING (he's smart and he's the captain of the vball team - WBK)

You hesitate to approach him because of his usual sly/serious facial expression.

He noticed you were trying to approach him so to your surprise he approached you instead.

"Hi Y/n, i see you've been looking at me and hesistating about something, is there something i can help you with?"

You shyly told him that you were struggling with chemistry homework and he didn't think twice in helping you.

"Sure! Here, let me see. I'll read it first then i'll explain it to you."

You see him nodding and humming as he scan through the pages of your notebook.

Believe it or not WITHIN 5 MINS. he suddenly closed the notebook and said "Alright, i see what your homework is about. Sit here beside me, i'll show you" while showing you a wide warm smile.

Mans a VISUAL LEARNER (he asked if it was okay for him to write on the back of your notebook - ofc you said yes)

He draws and writes things on the back of your note book and literally creates a framework guide for you to understand the concept of the lesson.

"Do you understand it better now?" (he won't mind to go over it again)

You easily understood what he taught you and you were amazed by how this man just made it easy like that. (Yes, effortlessly like that)

You thanked him and offered something to give him but he stopped you from there.

"No need y/n, I'm glad i was able to help you. Really, i mean it. You don't have to give anything" (but if you insist, i bet you he would agree eating ice cream with you after class - he ofc brings Kenma with him)

"If you're struggling with any homework, you can ask me or ask kenma. No worries, glad to be of help."

YOU ACED THE HOMEWORK!

KENMA KOZUME

Didn't notice you at first cause he's busy playing video games.

"Oh Y/n, sorry i was kinda busy- what can i do for you?"

He's just sitting there looking up at you, gameboy in hand.

When you told him you were gonna ask for help with regards to the homework (he tried to hide it but he was flustered & flattered that you thought he was THAT good that you asked him for help yourself) he just nodded and offered to take a look at your notebook.

He silently scanned through the pages and after a while he explained the concept to you.

The way he explained it was so detailed that you felt like your brain was overwhlemed with the information but at the same time you learned a lot from him.

"Do you understand the concept now? If not i can send you a file with a complete guide in it. I made it myself, if you need any other notes you can tell me." (he really made NOTES everytime he and kuroo studied cause he doesn't wanna ask kuroo again - best believe this man has COMPLETE notes)

He showed a small smile when you thanked him and you offered to buy him ice cream but he suggested another idea instead "An apple pie would great though, but you don't really have to give me anything. It's alright y/n"

You insisted - you ended up eating apple pie with kenma and he tagged Kuroo along (Kuroo is eating ice cream)

YOU ACED!!!

When you checked your notifications when you got home, he literally ended up sending you ALL OF HIS NOTES. He attached a message saying:

" You're welcome :)"

LEV HAIBA

You didn't have a hard time approaching him, he was approachable - But he was dumbfounded when you asked him about the homework.

"Huh?"

MANS WAS CLUELESS

"What homework?"

You were standing in front of him, (looking up - bc he was TALL) with a blank emotion in your face T.T (you thought to yourself: wDYM YOU DON'T KNOW THERE'S A HOMEWORK?!??!)

You were just in awe that he was clueless standing there (your jaw almost hit the floor) T.T

After a while of him trying to remember the homework, he was SHOCKED "RIGHT! THAT HOMEWORK!"

Asks you how to do it instead T.T

He suggested you both go to Kuroo to get help (HE REALLY SAID SOS T.T)

You both were tutored by Kuroo and both got PERFECT SCORES!! ^^

After that you became chaotic besties fr!! <3

MORISUKE YAKU

You were greeted by him with a warm smile as you approach closer.

"Hey Y/n! How are you?" (a warm ball of sunshine fr)

"I see, alright here let me see that" (HE DIDN'T THINK TWICE)

He scanned through it and let you sit beside him as he was trying to figure out at which part were you having a hard time. (He does not mind if he would go over it all again for a number of times - he would understand)

He explained the concept to you in its simplest form and you thanked him after.

He offered to get ice cream after (HE INSISTED TO PAY FOR IT)

You were flustered, you thought you were the one to buy him ice cream (he disagreed and pain immediately so that you won't pay for it)

P R I N C E S S T R E A T M E N T/?!?!?!

"I noticed you were getting anxious so i offered to eat ice cream to calm your nerves down. Cheer up y/n, you'll get through your 1st year smoothly. If you're having difficulties just message me or tell me okay?"

WORDS OFFF AFFIRMATION?????? COMFORT KING??

Pls he is so caring and a type that would know how to comfort you.

Yes, he offered to be you tutor too (FOR FREE!!!!!!!)

YOU ACED THE HOMEWORK (at this point you can graduate with flying colors bc of how good this man is in mentoring you)

E N D

note: part 2??

[cafeinthemoon]

It's a Fire - Chapter I

Chapter 1

Wordcount 3,5k

Title Retired Hashira

Fandom Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayer

Symbols ⭕ ➕ 🖤

Warnings: arranged marriage; age gap; mentions of increasing in criminality and poverty; grieving; non diagnosed depression (the condition wasn't properly understood by the time this story is settled)

Tagging ? (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N.A.: So Kimetsu no Yaiba returned and I'm taking the opportunity to finally start posting this story that has been in my list of ideas for several months!

A while ago I made a poll where I included the option of writing a fic with the Rengoku family, and it was this one I was talking about. I know there are other stories I need to work on already, but let me tell you that this very fic just saved me from a creative block, which was caused by what I suspect to be the beginning of a burnout (I'm about to go on vacation and I just can't take it anymore, but I don't want to discuss this rn).

A few words about the ff itself: It's a slow burn, arranged marriage story between reader, who's 27/28 yo, which makes her closer to myself who's a bit older than this, and Shinjuro Rengoku, who's struggling with the same problems we see in canon, but somehow accepts her as his wife: she was the daughter of old acquaintances of his, so the marital contract is sealed to allegedly honor the friendship between the families. However, things are way more complicated in reality.

Of course, because of the things we see in the original media, such as violence, alcoholism and etc., I need to make it clear that my personal opinions on these subjects may diverge from what I'm putting in this story (due to personal family experiences), and each chapter will carry the necessary warnings. Also if you notice similarities with Beauty and the Beast, know that it isn't just a coincidence haha Finally, the title is a song by Portishead, which didn't influence my writing but its lyrics somehow fit this plot 🌹

I hope you have a good time reading this ❤

“You walk a lonely road 

Oh, how far you are from home” 

(Enya, May it Be) 

That fate didn’t care about your preferences and desires, you knew well. 

You wished you had your mother with you for long years, and that your relationship grew stronger as you spent your time together, dedicating yourselves to the art of the sword, but most of her time and energy were directed to her work as a member of the Demon Slayer Corps, and it was like this until the day you received a messenger from Ubuyashiki-sama to inform you about her death: she didn’t fall to the Oni, but couldn’t resist the injuries from a battle against a group of them. 

You also wished your father, after losing the woman he claimed to love, stood up to his remaining family, that is, himself and you, and took reasonable measures to protect his territory and the people who lived in it, but he preferred to lock himself in his office and ignore the demands outside it, firing half of the house’s servants for the sake of saving money and willing to leave the property to the dust and the insects, not seeing this happening thanks to you, who took the task of maintaining everything by yourself, even doing some of the physical work. 

There were, in fact, many other things you wished for, but didn’t have the chance to see them coming true. One of those other things were continuing to live in the house you grew up in, and using your education to dedicate your life to a career of your choice, though your options seemed limited by your sex. But even this was taken from you when, on an ordinary day, you saw your father leaving his office in the company of a man you’ve never seen in your life. You wanted to question him about this strange visit, but you didn’t have to: your father came to your chambers later, and without measuring his tone or giving you time to process such news, explained the meeting’s main subject. 

– I’ve recently contacted an old acquaintance of mine, someone who was also known by your mother – he started – And explained our situation here. 

You knew what he was talking about: after your mother passed away, your lands’ protection has been neglected, and appearances of demons have been reported more often by your servants and the people who live in the villages near. No one dared leaving their houses at night, and the local economy were deeply affected by this, since part of the basic work used to be done in this period of the day; this led to an increase in poverty and criminality. You, on your part, weren’t immune to these difficulties despite growing up in a privileged family. 

Your father addressing this situation to you, however, was something new, and you exposed this impression to him. 

– Things are getting harder for everyone here, that’s true – you agreed – But why are you discussing this with me now? 

– Because I asked this acquaintance for help, and he answered me – he took slow steps toward your window, half opened by that time; he closed it with firm hands, but without making much noise – The thing is that, at the same time our lands are now dangerous to people, specially to young women like you, it’s time for you to take the next big step in your personal life, daughter. After all, you’re almost twenty-eight. 

You frowned. 

Next big step? What is he talking about?… 

Your father might have noticed your confusion, because he soon clarified his words… and you wished he never did it. 

– I’m talking about marriage, y/n – he spat – You declined the last two proposals, and I respect your reasons for that, but this time the circumstances aren’t in our favor. This man who visited me earlier is a messenger from the Rengoku House, and he brought me a positive answer from their head: I offered your hand and a good dowry in exchange for your protection, and in respect to your mother, who worked for the same cause as him, Shinjuro Rengoku accepted you as his wife. You’re leaving the house this week. 

You were speechless. You tried to stand up and show a sign of protest, but your legs didn’t obey you; you opened your mouth to say something, but no word left it. You knew your father have been struggling, but you could never suppose he was becoming insane – arranging a marriage for you without your consent? Other men used to do this to their daughters, but the man who married your mother would never… But, apparently, he was no longer this man. 

Maybe he was expecting some disagreement, but seeing your silence made him frown. 

– Don’t you have anything to say about this? 

You finally seemed to wake up. You gave him a dead glare, murmuring your response. 

– And what do you expect a woman to say after being sold and sent away from her own house out of nowhere? – you moved your head to the side, irony leaking from the gesture – Thank you? 

Your father clenched his jaw. 

– I certainly don’t expect your gratitude – his voice was lower now – I know this isn’t the future you wanted for yourself, and I didn’t want things to be like this either, but… 

– Why marriage, father? – your tongue was released, interrupting his thread of thoughts like a storm – I could stay temporarily with them, work for them, anything! But marrying someone I’ve never met?! Don’t you remember that I’ve declined the other proposals after at least seeing the faces of those men? 

– You’ll meet him on the wedding day, and you’ll have all the time of the world to know anything there is to know about him – his tone was louder again, as his patience was running low – Besides, Shinjuro is an old friend of mine. I give you my word that he’s a decent man, besides being a formidable warrior. He was married to a respectable woman once, and built a good family with her. I trust him, and so did your mother. No problems should be expected from his part, so the same must be expected from you. 

Shinjuro. It was only the second time you’ve heard that name from your father’s mouth, and you didn’t know what to think. In fact, you’ve learned from your mother that among the Demon Slayer Corps there was an elite group known as the Hashira, and one of them was Shinjuro, the Hashira of the Flames. He was the current head of the Rengoku family, but personal struggles – including the death of his wife – forced him to a retirement despite his capacity as a warrior, so that his eldest son, Kyojuro, took his place. However, you also heard that this young man was dead, so it was impossible to tell how things were going for his family members now. And that was the environment your father was willing to throw you into, even spending money in the process. 

You sighed. 

– Father, when was the last time you’ve met this man? I don’t remember you talking about him – you crossed your arms – I’m only familiar with his name thanks to mother, but now you’re telling me that he’s an old friend of yours. How old is he, exactly? 

– Not as old as me, of course – his reply came with a mixture of embarrassment and indignation – I can’t believe that, of all the things involved in this arrangement, this is what concerns you more! 

You scoffed. 

– I’m not that futile, but if he’s old enough to have a son capable of replacing him in the battlefield, I think I have the right to be concerned! – you took a step toward him – If I have no choice, I want to know exactly where I’m getting into. Can’t you even make such a small concession to me, father? 

No, he couldn’t, and you soon realized that. 

Your father decided the conversation was over. He returned to the room’s door and opened it. 

– It is decided, already – and, with a sort of sadness in his eyes – I’m doing what I think it’s best for my daughter. I only wanted her to trust me, at least for once. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. 

– I wanted this too, father. But you’re making it too difficult for your daughter. 

He stared at you for a moment, then left without any word. 

*** 

Things really happened the way you feared, in the path your father stated they would follow. He said that, but until the end he kept acting like he had no control over the flow of events, in a frail attempt to soothe his own conscience that only served to unnerve you, and not even seeing the disappointment in his daughter’s eyes each time he looked at you was enough for him to leave this pretense aside. Had he no shame anymore? 

During that fateful week, you avoided his company, leaving the burden of communication to the remaining servants and only speaking to him when utterly necessary. What was left for you to talk about when, as he said, everything was decided, and when you had nothing but sadness for him — for him, the adversities he’s been through and for the way he chose to behave in face of them? It was useless to argue on this, and whether you liked it or not, you had little time to put everything in order and couldn’t have the luxury of wasting it: would it be worthy to cause a delay in the arrangements under the risk of leaving a bad impression in your future spouse, even when he was someone you’ve never saw before? 

You sighed at the thought. 

And, as if I hadn’t enough things to worry about, I still have to consider this. 

In fact, you didn’t want to take much stuff from that house with you at the same time you didn’t want to cause any difficulties to the servants, who have already seen their load increase the last months, so you were quick to select essential items and packing them with the help of a maid, from your clothes to the gifts brought by your mother, and instruct her about what to do with the other things: some of them you gave to her, knowing that she had a daughter who was younger than you and who’d appreciate your charity, and the others, such as the furniture, should be sent to the villagers, for you wanted your things to be with people who would make good use of them instead of letting them rot in a place to where you’d never come back. 

Among all of this, the last object you packed was the only thing you made a point about carrying by yourself, and the only thing you didn’t trust anyone to pack but yourself: the sword of your mother, which was sent to your house by Ubuyashiki-sama and now belonged to you. Your mother has been teaching you lessons since you were a teenager, but she hasn’t lived long enough to see if you were going to develop your own Breath; well, until that day you haven’t, but you’ve never stopped practicing even under your father’s disapproval. You didn’t know what you would find once you stepped into your husband’s house, but you wouldn’t want to depend on his protection on everything; besides, having a wife who knew how to wield a sword must be an advantage, right? 

The train of thoughts, feelings and concerns was such that you were robbed from sleep the night before the ceremony. You knew women who had their marriages arranged as well, but you never got to talk to them about it; you had no idea of how you were supposed to feel, or how you were supposed to see the whole thing. How one should feel when they saw themselves trapped in a situation from which they couldn’t get out? Without having answers, you just relied on the feeling that seemed reasonable to you, that is, utter fear. 

The next morning came silent and inexorable, just as the ones before it, and you saw yourself leaving your bed and taking care of your duties without putting your thoughts on them. It was only your body working by itself, saving your soul from the burden of being conscious, or perhaps you were just accepting your fate after a night of tears and rage. 

Having dismissed the maid’s help, you bathed and dressed alone, and left the house where the most important moments of your life took place without one last look. To be fair, your eyes were so sore and tired that they barely registered the appearance of the weather while you walked to the carriage, but you guessed it was a warm, sunny day, though not enough for you to get sweaty. Your father was already in the carriage’s interior; you took the seat beside him with no signs of acknowledging his presence. 

The coachman shook the reins and yelled something to the horse, and the crack of the wooden wheels was heard as the vehicle moved along the road. 

*** 

The ceremony took place in a building in the city of (…), near your father’s property, which served as the head office of a group of law professionals, including the man responsible for your marital contract. 

You wouldn’t call it a ceremony, really: it was more of a sequence of bureaucratic procedures than a social event with the purpose of uniting two families; a mere formality to allow you to move to a man’s house without ruining your reputation. It was quick, direct and cold like a financial operation, and the people involved seemed to make sure it looked like this. 

Your father led you to a sequence of stairs and then through a narrow corridor, until he stopped in front of a door and opened it, entering the room and inciting you to follow him. You did it, and found out you weren’t the first to arrive: the officiant was already in his position, behind a table upon which you saw an open book; at its right, there was a small inkwell and a feather; around him, two officers which function you couldn’t guess and couldn’t care about. And, finally, in front of the table and observing your arrival with a stern glare, the man who was about to become your husband. 

Whatever you were expecting to see, Shinjuro was nothing like you might have imagined, except for the fact that he was younger than you supposed – and, indeed, younger than your father – and stole the attentions among all those men despite the quiet, composed manners. Well, he would do it in any place he’d step in, for his appearance was extravagant, to say the least: on his severe face he carried a pair of orange eyes under two thick, black eyebrows, a wild trait that made you think of a lion; framing his expression and matching his eyes, he had thick, blond hair that decreased to red on its edges, spreading over his shoulders. And, as if his looks weren’t enough to draw the whole room’s attention, he was dressed in sober, dark clothing, more like someone attending a western funeral than a wedding. 

As you walked to the center of the room, led by your father, and took the spot beside Shinjuro, you felt your skin burning in discomfort under his merciless eyes. You breathed deep and, when he nodded to acknowledge you two, you made an effort to greet him, as well as the other men. 

I knew he wasn’t the same person my father claimed to know. He stated that he was good and trustful, but everything in this man screams danger. What kind of hell I’m getting into… 

The officiant announced the beginning of the ceremony, and you turned to him in silence. After a few, composed words to the new couple, he gave you both clear instructions on where to sign your names, and you did as he said, Shinjuro first, then you; you glanced at his hand offering you the feather and took it in a second, taking care your hand didn’t touch his. You tried not to think of your gestures as you wetted its tip on the ink, but a tremble reached your wrist the instant you approached the feather from the paper. 

So… That’s it. I write my name in a book and enter a path from where I can’t go back. 

The realization was too much to bear and time was passing, so you bit your inner cheek to prevent your mind to entertain the thought and scribbled your name at once. When you moved the feather away and put it back on the inkwell, your hand acted by itself, and your arm gone numb once you recoiled it to your side. 

Your mouth was dry, and a hole seemed to have taken the place of your heart. You barely noticed when the officiant and the other witnesses analyzed your signatures and approved them, bringing the ceremony to an end. You refused to believe all of that was real until the man announced you were free to go, and both Shinjuro and you turned away, preparing to leave. He didn’t bat an eye at you while doing so. 

The head of the Rengoku family stopped to exchange some words with your father. You were close enough to hear the conversation, but didn’t want to pay attention; you just wanted to leave this place, even though you weren’t going to a familiar one after it. 

You only understood their conversation was over when you heard your father’s voice calling your name. You turned to him and your stomach curled in disgust when you saw the pleading smile on his face, the only thing that reminded you of home and now a sign of everything you lost. You’ve never felt so alone. 

Later, you’d try to remember his exact words for you at that moment, but you’d find yourself unable to do it. Maybe it was a formal wish of good luck or something. The only thing you remembered was your reaction: you stared at him for a few seconds, then, without a word, you turned your face away, walking toward the door. You knew your husband was observing, but his approval was the least of your preoccupations now. 

*** 

Little was recalled by you from the travel to the Rengoku house, except that it was silent, even calm period. The only abnormality was caused by you: unlike your other belongings, who were sent in another vehicle ahead under the supervision of a servant, you decided you were going to carried your sword with you in the carriage, to everyone’s surprise and your father’s discontentment. 

That occasion was also when Shinjuro spoke to you for the first time. 

— Why are you doing this? 

The question, made when you were already in the carriage, was direct but not devoid of politeness, so you granted him an honest answer. 

— This sword once belonged to my mother, and now it is mine. If my father had his way, I’d never carry it with me, but I refuse to leave it behind — and, glancing at him, — I couldn’t risk him checking my things and subtracting it from them without my consent. 

Shinjuro only murmured an “I see” in response, and the conversation died there. 

You were beside the carriage’s window and might have slept to the warmth of the sun and the constant noise of the wheels in movement, but you weren’t sure if you did. As your body was now avoiding visible reactions, your spirit was suppressing the emotional rush for your own good, since no advantage would come from a breakdown in the middle of the road, right in front of your new spouse who, just like you, didn’t seem all pleased with the whole thing: sure, he didn’t show visible discontentment whether with your appearance or your manners, but you’ve been dealing with middle aged men for too long to sense when they were seeing something they didn’t find appropriate; and, in the present case, it was clear to you that Shinjuro already formed his opinion: to him, you were a stubborn, spoiled brat who didn’t have her way and was decided to make it everyone else’s problem. Yes, the idea of acting like that wandered through your mind for a while, but you thought you were better than this, and opted for a balance between bitterness and decency, not wearing plain clothing and displaying rude manners, but also not being extravagant in anything; still, you couldn’t convince the man of your good nature, and he let it clear with the inquiring about the sword, so now you completely gave up on seeking his favor. 

You were just waiting for the travel to end. 

Chapter 2

[zenlesszonezero]

[spiderfreedom]

my suffering is profound and legitimate, yours is frivolous nonsense

Just reading a blogger I like but I had to laugh because she was talking about how beauty practices are bad for women's mental health, and she left a note saying "unlike gender affirming care! gender affirming care improves people's mental health and it's nothing at all like cosmetic practices."

TIL, when an older woman gets botox to remove her wrinkles and avoid facing the inevitability of decline and death, her problem is spiritual/structural and she needs to Do The Work to deprogram her ageism, unlike people with dysphoria, who of course have legitimate claims to cosmetic alteration.

And it is cosmetic - no part of the body that is altered by HRT or SRS or any of the feminization/masculinization surgeries is failing to function or functioning poorly. The problem is with the brain, which perceives the body parts as foreign or undesirable. We may sympathize with someone struggling with such a condition, but that does not change that the body parts being altered were already healthy and the alterations are cosmetic, and the relief being brought about is mental.

But plenty of trans people openly admit that separating body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria is a losing game. Contrapoints's video on "Beauty" (transcript) has the observation that she feels least dysphoric when she is meeting feminine beauty norms:

But I also think that trans people often talk like gender dysphoria is this intrinsic, personal experience that's always 100% valid and never has anything at all to do with the external pressure of beauty standards. But in fact, gender dysphoria is not sealed away in a vacuum away from the influence of societal ideals and norms.  [...] When I try to psychoanalyze myself, I find that my desires to look female, to look feminine, and to look beautiful are not exactly the same, but they're woven together so tightly that it's kind of difficult to untangle them. And the opposite is also true, that for me feeling mannish or dysphoric usually goes along with feeling ugly. I don't have a lot of days where I walk out the house thinking "well, I'm giving femme queen realness, but apart from that I look like absolute shit". 

Max Robinson's book "Detransition," from an FTM perspective, points out how the prospective trans man views his suffering as unique from and distinct from women's, even as the surgeries they seek are not especially different:

The stereotypical cosmetic surgery patient is seeking to become closer to being perfectly feminine - she wants to be beautiful. Transitional cosmetic surgery, on the other hand, is widely understood to mark the patient as ex-female and therefore unfemale; this is part of the meaning FTMs seek to create through surgery. FTM desire for cosmetic surgery is positioned as something totally different than the stereotype of a woman who 'merely' seeks beauty at her frivolous leisure. FTMs are deemed to have a rare affliction that needs urgent, life-saving treatment. Conversely, there is nothing more common than for a woman to become obsessed with her socially-deemed 'unsatisfactory' looks and desperately seek to change them, believing that such a change is the only thing that can restore her quality of life. This comparison will feel like an insult to the FTM. It will feel that way because we believe other women's suffering doesn't matter, and recognize how much ours does. Women's suffering is ordinary but ours is extraordinary. For us to matter, we must be differentiated from the silly little woman who wants to be pretty so badly she'll pay thousands of dollars (now billable to credit cards and loan programs designed to pay for elective surgeries!) to risk her life and health. These women don't need to be fixed; we do. FTMs know that we don't deserve a woman's fate but have not yet realized that no woman does.

I have more to write on the topic of the relationship between gender identity and beauty culture, but I'll end this one here. It makes sense that somebody who is identified with the opposite sex would also be affected by the standards of beauty expected of that sex. (Non-binary identification is more complicated and requires separate treatment.)

[canirove]

Kylian Mbappé Imagine | seven

Author's note: This is a super old request from Wattpad that I've finally found myself motivated to write (it was a very detailed one and I didn't have to think too much 😅) because during the month of August my requests for imagines will be open! So if you want to request something, this is your chance 😁 As always, I hope you like it and thank for reading! 💜 Little summary: Kylian's signing for Real Madrid finally is official, and you find yourself struggling with the move. A bit of angst with a happy ending from a female reader/pov.

Masterlist

“So… it is official.”

“It is” Kylian smiles. “I finally am a Real Madrid player. Aren't you going to congratulate me?”

“Congratulations” I say, giving him a quick hug.

“Wow, tone down your excitement” he laughs. “Aren't you happy for me?”

“I am.”

“Then?”

“Then what, Kylian?” 

“Then why do you look so… miserable? This is huge for my career, you know? I've signed for the best team in the world.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you acting like this?” he asks again.

“Because, because…” I say, nervously playing with my hands, my eyes fixed on them. “Because I'm not going to Madrid with you” I say, my voice almost a whisper.

“What?” he laughs. “What do you mean you are not coming to Madrid with me?”

“I'm staying in Paris, Kylian” I say, still looking down. I can't bear to look at him while saying everything I'm about to say. “I've been giving it a lot of thought, and I can't leave. I just can't. You know how I always get when we go on holidays somewhere for longer than a few days. How long it takes me to adjust to a new routine, to new surroundings, new food, new people… How I struggle with everything. And in Madrid I will be also adding the language barrier because I don't speak a single word of Spanish.”

“You know how to say hello and goodbye” he chuckles, trying to lighten up the mood.

“I know we said that we would be together on every step you took regarding your career, that we would support each other no matter what because together we are stronger" I continue. "And I know that this will be tough for our relationship, the hardest thing we've had to deal with yet. Because with your crazy schedule we will probably see each other just a couple of times each month if we are lucky. But I just… I… I just can't leave, Kylian. I'm sorry if I sound selfish, if I'm disappointing you. But I can't” I say, not being able to contain my tears anymore. “Kylian…” I whisper when he gets up from the sofa where we are sitting, pacing around the room, not saying a word. Which is way worse than if he was yelling at me, or also crying or… I don't know. Just talking. “Kylian, please say something” I sob. “Anything.”

“You don't want to hear what I'm thinking right now” he says. He's stopped next to the window, looking outside and giving his back at me. 

“It can't be worse than what I think of myself” I say, getting up and joining him. “Please, Kylian…”

“No” he spats when I move my hand to touch his arm.

“Sorry” I whisper. “I'm sorry about all this, but…”

“Do you love me?” 

“What?”

“Do you love me?” Kylian repeats.

“Of course I do!”

“Then why are you not coming with me? Then why are you abandoning me when I finally fulfill my childhood dream? We were supposed to do all this together. Together!” he says while opening and closing his hands, taking deep breaths.

“Kylian, I…” I whisper.

“I thought you were different from all the other girls, you know? That you understood me, my career and what comes with it, the sacrifices I have to make. Guess I was wrong” he says, turning to look at me. 

“The sacrifices you have to make?” I scoff. I wasn't expecting that reaction from him. “What about all the sacrifices I have to make? Like following you around wherever you go, having to deal with the press, the fans, with constantly being judged and told that I'm not enough for you?”

“It's not the same.”

“Isn't it? C'mon!” I laugh and cry at the same time. “Kylian, you are asking me to leave everything behind, my whole life here in Paris, to move to a different country and start again. And you want me to do it with a smile on my face as if it was something easy, like choosing what to have for dinner or which bag I want for my birthday. You are treating me as if I was this thing that just follows you around, and I am a fucking human being with actual feelings.”

“I know you are” he says.

“Do you? Do you really? Because it doesn't look like it, Kylian. I've told you I'm not ready to leave everything behind and my friends and family, and instead of talking about it to find a solution, you just get mad at me and basically tell me that only your feelings matter. That you are the only one who has made sacrifices on our relationship. So maybe I was wrong, and you aren't the guy I thought you were when I fell in love with you. The guy who promised me we would always be together despite everything, supporting each other during good and bad times. And maybe I was also wrong when I thought I could manage all this. Your career, your fame. That my love for you was stronger than all that. Maybe I am the problem here. Maybe…”

“No.”

“Kylian” I gasp when he suddenly hugs me as if his life depended on it.

“Don't you dare saying that you are the problem, that there is something wrong with you. Because there isn't. There is nothing wrong with you” he says against my neck. “I am the one who is at fault here. The one who is being selfish, the one who is only caring about himself and not stopping to think about what those he loves the most may be feeling too. And when they tell me how they feel, when you tell me about your doubts and fears, I dismiss them and make it all about me again. As if only I mattered when since the beginning it's always been us. Because we…” he says while moving to look at me, tears rolling down his cheeks. “We are a team. You and I. And if you've changed your mind and you aren't ready to leave Paris and move to Madrid, it's ok. I'll fly back every time I can to be with you even if it's just for a few hours.”

“That isn't the most environment friendly thing, is it?” I chuckle, wiping away his tears.

“Maybe it isn't, no” he smiles. “But listen, if what worries you about moving is being away from your friends and family, I'll ask my team to find me the biggest house in Madrid. One where we can have them all stay with us, but also give us some space and alone time, you know?” Kylian smirks. “And there are other French players in the team, so if you want to hear someone talking in French who isn't me, we can ask them to come over. And I believe Tchouaméni’s mum is a Spanish teacher, so she could be your teacher too, I'm sure she would love it. And if you miss the food, I'll hire a French chef and make them send us the best products to Madrid so the food tastes as if we are home. Hell, I'll steal the fucking Eiffel tower and put it in our garden if that will help you to not miss Paris so much!”

“That may be a bit too much” I laugh.

“I don't care if it is too much. Because I would do anything as long as it means having you with me in Madrid like we always dreamt of” he says, cupping my face and caressing my cheek. “Anything. Or almost anything, because I'm not ending my contract before it has even started.”

“I would never ask you something like that, Kylian. Because even if moving scares me, I know how important this is for you. That you've been wanting to play for Real Madrid since you were a kid.”

“I have. I was born to play with them like Florentino always says” he says with a playful smile. “But listen… Let's make a deal. Something like our own contract.”

“What?” I laugh.

“Come to Madrid with me. We'll do everything I just told you and whatever else we can think of to make the change easy for you and help you adapt, and  we'll see how things go. And if after one season you are still struggling, you can move back to Paris and we will find a way to work things out. Like you said, this isn't the first time we've had to fight for our relationship. But every single time we've overcome it all, and do you know why?”

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because our love is the strongest love that is” he says, his thumbs now caressing both my cheeks. “A love that can and will overcome all the obstacles we encounter. Here in Paris, in Madrid or the moon.”

“I don't see you playing football on the moon” I laugh.

“Don't overestimate the FIFA and the UEFA l” Kylian says. “So…”

“So” I repeat as he puts a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Are we gonna give Madrid a go? We could stay there for a few days after my presentation and see if we like the vibe of the city. Give you some time to think about it and the deal I've offered you before signing it.”

“Dear God, Kylian. You sound like a lawyer” I laugh. 

“Too many meetings with them lately” he shrugs. “What do you say? Are you in for a little vacation in Madrid?”

“I'm in” I say after thinking about it for a few seconds. 

“Great” he smiles. “And I'm sorry about earlier. About the way I reacted, about the way I treated you and ignored your feelings. It won't happen again, I promise you.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Can we seal it all with a kiss?” Kylian asks with a cheeky smile, moving his hands to my waist and pulling me closer to him.

“Fine” I sigh, rolling my eyes but also smiling. “I love you, Kylian.”

“I love you too. Here, in Madrid and on the moon” he says before kissing me.

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Chapter 9

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

CW: wholesome fluff, a good amount of angst, lo'ak being nosy lol jk he's genuinely trying to look after neteyam, descriptions of masturbation, TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of depressive symptoms, reader meeting neteyam in her avatar body, neteyam and reader vent to each other about their struggles, sensitive themes, hurt/comfort, cuddling, sexual tension, kissing, sexual content, mentions of sexual fluids, neteyam slightly begging to mate with reader, foreplay (i don't know if it counts but it definitely is teasing in a sexual way). Tell me if I missed something ♡

Hello, my cute little readers! I got a little better in terms of my fibro flare up and have been feeling a little better emotionally/mentally these days, so, I was able to write again. There's a slight chance that some paragraphs are a bit confusing. I didn't fully proofread it. I'm sorry, my babies, I'm really tired right now, really achy, still. And I'm extremely hungry and there's some delicious homemade orange cake in front of me waiting to be eaten 😍 I've already eaten two pieces of it and drank a full cup of coffee with milk but I NEED to eat more bc I'm still starving and I love cake and coffee 🤤 idk about other countries but it's a tradition that we have here in Brazil to eat cake and drink coffee, together 🤍 anyways I gotta shut up now lol Hope you enjoy this chapter! I'd love to read your lovely comments down below 👉🏻👈🏻 I love y'all SO MUUUCH 😘 

Slightly proofread.

Chapter 8

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

No way out of your quicksand

But I can breathe underneath

Take your love, cover me

Pull me down, pull me down

You are wonderful

You've taken all of my heart

It was so worth the fall

Don't let go

Quicksand (Bridgit Mendler)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Today you felt anxious but excited. It was your first day off in a week. You were gonna Dreamwalk in your Avatar today. But you were not gonna be on a solo mission this time. Neteyam would be by your side. You two had planned to meet each other next to the river you always loved to play in. You had always loved running water.

Having Neteyam around felt like a breath of fresh air to you since you never truly felt at home amidst other human beings and, after so many years, it started to feel like a joke to you to insist on trying to fit into a society that seemed to not even want you there, in the first place. Most people behaved towards you like you were weird in some way. Neteyam never made you feel that way. You did not know if it was in view of the fact that he was na'vi or if it was just because he was in love with you.

You had always preferred to live among plants, insects, songs, books, animals… on your own little world, since you were a little girl. Everybody used to call you a daydreamer, saying you had your head on the clouds. When you were a child, you did not let that get under your skin. That's the beauty of childhood wonder, it has a lot of wisdom in it that we seem to forget, once we start growing up. Your little self never cared about those "demonstrations of care and concern" (that were nothing but condescending criticism and you never understood why people tried to conceal that fact if it was so obvious) because you knew you were not crazy or completely oblivious to reality like they used to say. Your fun and whimsical inner world was what felt like home to you, not the everyday mundane routine, the protocols that seemed ridiculously stupid to you, the shallow conversations and gossip… the over-all human society. It fucking sucked, if you were going to be totally honest. 

It's not that you hated your own kind. No. It's just that you hated the way they built their empires, throughout history, the tainted legacy the ancestors left for the ones to come in the future - like a dying Planet, for example -, because of their own stupidity and recklessness.

You knew you were not harming anyone - yourself included - despite always engaging in daydreaming, all alone, with your earbuds on or just staring at a beautiful landscape and your grip on reality was still in check. Your grip on reality was actually so tight, your fingers would get hurt and start to bleed sometimes, because reality is a double bladed sword. It keeps you safe and stable, it is needed for you to not go bonkers, but it also cuts you deep with its sharp edges.

༊⁀➷

Neteyam prepared to go out today to meet you during the day for the first time after the both of you became mates. It was just like Eywa had blessed him as he was able to finish all his duties to the clan and his training a little earlier than the usual today. Or maybe the Great Mother had nothing to do with it and it was all Neteyam making the greatest effort ever just to be able to spend some time with you in the daylight and finally see you in your na'vi body again. He missed seeing you like that. He missed the way your tail would wag softly showing you were feeling happy, he missed looking at your stripes and thinking they were the most beautiful stripes he had ever seen and most of all, he missed admiring the way you loved his planet, the way you respected and appreciated Eywa instead of hurting her.

When Neteyam was taking his bow and arrows and putting them on his back, ready to go into the woods to meet you, Lo'ak approached him, suspicious.

"Where are you going, bro?"

"To the forest. Maybe I can hunt for some food and if I'm lucky I'll bring us some good meat for dinner." Neteyam smiled and gave his younger brother a head pat, rapidly walking out of the Sully's hut door

Lo'ak wanted to yell something to his older brother, something like "I know there's something you're not telling me" but he did not. If Neteyam was hiding something, it would probably not be something that would harm him - Neteyam. Everybody knew how responsible - to the point of being annoying, sometimes - Neteyam was. Lo'ak used to get Neteyam into trouble all the time back when they were just teenagers and he was trying not to do that as much as he used to, even though he was not exactly doing a great job - he was doing a terrible job, actually - but he was still trying. He would still keep an eye on his older brother - "It seems like the tables have turned, huh?" Lo'ak thought - but he would leave him alone to do whatever he was going to do in the forest. He knew Neteyam did not have much free time for himself and he sometimes felt sorry for him, seeing him so tired and even stressed out really often because of his Olo'eyktan to be training and his responsibilities as the older brother. Lo'ak used to hold some grudges on his older brother when he was younger but now he understood that Neteyam actually struggled a lot too.

Neteyam pretended to not notice anything when he was leaving home but he did not fail to see the mistrust on Lo'ak's face. That was something he would have to deal with sooner than he wanted to, he acknowledged. He also thought about how his mother would react when she eventually finds out that her son, the future Olo'eyktan of their tribe, was in a relationship with a human girl. Neteyam did not want to disappoint his mother. He knew how proud she was of him and it hurt to think that she could start to think badly of him. He tried his hardest to whoosh those thoughts away.

༊⁀➷

The Pandoran sun shone bright up in the sky, its rays reflecting on your bioluminescent freckles, making them a little more evident on your skin. The soothing sound of the leaves dancing with the pleasant wind and the water running in the nearby river filled the atmosphere around you. You walked slowly towards Neteyam, adrenaline dancing around in your belly in a bittersweet motion.

When Neteyam looked at you, it was like lightning had struck him. Not a destructive kind of lightning but a good one, sweet in its intensity, falling strongly all over him. Neteyam was seeing you in your Avatar for the first time after you had become his mate.

Your mouth was somewhat open, revealing your upper teeth and your na'vi (Avatar?) fangs. Your gaze revealed how much you had anticipated that moment, how much you stayed up when you should be sleeping, thinking about finally being able to see the look in Neteyam's face when he saw you in your Avatar. You knew he had watched you while you were Dreamwalking too many times before but you never got to see the admiration in his eyes when he did so as he had been stalking you, not letting you know he was around. You had wished to see his beautiful golden eyes captivated by you for so long. You wanted to feel pretty and desired like that. And now you were finally experiencing it as Neteyam looked almost dumb with enchantment while he stared at you. But cute dumb, you know? So damn cute…

You stared back at him as you took the last steps towards the place where he stood, as if he was frozen.

Neteyam felt like he was not able to move as he took in how beautiful you looked. He had never seen your na'vi body so close to his own body and it felt overwhelmingly good to do so. His sweet yawne finally belonged to him and he could now touch you and hold you in the physical form he found you most beautiful in. It's not like he did not think you were madly beautiful and hot in your human body, he always wanted to pin you down and make love to you while he was close to your human form, but nothing compared to seeing you in your na'vi form, the form where you smiled the most, where you seemed so much more alive and full of lust for experiencing the world around you. That made you even prettier. Happiness looked pretty on you.

Neteyam was na'vi and his people did not have as many severe mental struggles like humans did but there were rare cases where some na'vi who went through terrible trauma in their lives did become uninterested in fighting their dark thoughts and they did become extremely depressed, though they could be cured from that illness through rituals that healed the spirit, performed by their clan's Tsahìk.

Neteyam was not blind or oblivious to things that were obvious to the naked eye. He knew that nobody would break down and cry as often as you did, only minutes after waking up in the morning, while getting ready for work etc if this person was not in an enormous amount of pain, the kind of pain that made them wish to disappear and never be found again. Thinking about his mate feeling that kind of sorrow made him feel like his heart was being torn into pieces, blood spilling from it like water spills from a fountain.

The reason why Neteyam was so determined to convince you to transfer your consciousness to your na'vi body forever was not some selfish wish, it was not just because he wanted to take you to his tribe and have you be his mate, be able to bond with you through tsaheylu every night and get to love your body, sharing his affection and sexual pleasure with you as well as feeling your own through the bond - even though that thought did wake up a raw, intense desire and need inside of him and he just could not stop himself from fantasizing about that while stroking his cock when he could be all by himself without any chance of disturbance. Neteyam also wanted to give you the opportunity to live a blissful and fulfilling life, a life where you would laugh way more often than cry. If he knew someone that deserved nothing less than that, that person was you.

If in the worst case scenario, you still felt so bad after you had your consciousness transferred to your na'vi body, Neteyam planned to ask his mother to perform a ritual that heals the spirit on you. Thinking about that, he suddenly felt anxious and he felt his heart tightening inside his chest. Neteyam had been trying not to worry about the fact that it would be extremely hard to convince his mother to accept you as his mate and perform the ritual of transference of consciousness on you but that thought had been eating him alive constantly, ever since he talked to you for the first time, outside of the laboratory’s kitchen window.

"Hi, muntxatan." (male mate) Neteyam's heart started beating quickly and it almost came out of his throat when he heard you calling him your mate in his people's language as you stopped in front of him and smiled widely, your eyes narrowing slightly. Those torturing thoughts about his mother trying to tear the both of you apart quickly were washed away from his mind by your presence. It was hypnotizing to him.

"Yawntu… You're just so beautiful. So insanely beautiful." Neteyam smiled, his eyes shining, still bewitched by you, and pushed you roughly against his body. He hugged you tighter than he ever did before since he knew he wouldn't hurt you by doing so when you're Dreamwalking. The size difference between the both of you was not that substantial anymore. His chin rested on the top of your head as he held you strongly against his body.

His roughness did not hurt you, on the contrary, it made you feel safe and protected to have his big - currently not huge, just big - arms around you, keeping your body close as your head was against his chest, your eyes shut and you could hear his heart beating fast. It made you indescribably happy to know that you were the reason for that quick heartbeat. You curled your lips up, smiling peacefully.

Peace. You spent so much time without feeling that but, after you accepted becoming Neteyam's mate, finally defeating your cruel fears, you started to feel peaceful way more often than you had ever felt in your life, even more often than you did when you were little.

Neteyam distanced your bodies a bit, still putting his hands on the sides of your arms, right below your shoulders and announced:

"Come! There's a place I wanna take you to." He took your hand and started walking in front of you, excitedly leading you somewhere 

"Where are you taking me?" You smiled and chuckled softly, curious

"You'll see." It was all he said

Neteyam made you feel excited about little things, like you were just a child again, a feeling you hadn't felt in so, so long. After Neteyam came to your life, it was like he painted vivid colors on your once all too white and dull canvas. You almost shivered at the reminder that you nearly ruined your chance to have a love so pure and true such as this one because of fear of the unknown and refusal of getting out of your comfort zone.

After walking through the rainforest with you for a little while, Neteyam stopped in front of a tall, large tree and you soon recognized it. Its branches had clusters that were full of some beautiful fruits that reminded you of blueberries that used to exist on Earth, before they went extinct.

"Here. Do you recognize this tree? I've seen you look at it so many times. Were you wondering if the yovo fruits are safe to eat?"

"Yeah." You smiled bashfully "They look delicious."

"And they are. They're safe to eat, yawne. We can eat some now, if you want to." Neteyam smiled kindly at you. The fact that he remembered small details about you made your heart melt. 

"I'd love that, Teyam."

Neteyam smiled, unbelieving.

"What did you call me?"

"Teyam…?" You furrowed your eyebrows "It's just a nickname I came up with for you… Do you hate it?" You contorted your features in a way that showed him you were feeling slightly insecure and embarrassed 

"No! I love it, yawntutsyìp! I love it." He smiled and chuckled "I just wasn't expecting it. I love that my muntxate is calling me by a special nickname. Feels intimate." Neteyam came closer to you and held your face with both his beautiful strong blue hands

You looked up at his face with doe eyes and waited as you knew what was coming. You could feel it. The sneaky butterflies started flying inside your belly again.

Neteyam kissed you slowly, crushing his soft wet lips against yours. He pressed his lips on your mouth again and again for a short amount of time but it was enough to make your legs feel weak.

"Come, oeyä muntxate. I'll help you climb the tree."

Neteyam did as he said and soon enough you both were sitting on the wooden "floor" of the tree, sharing yovo fruits and eating them.

You two started to chill and talk about everyday life. It felt so good. It felt familiar, just like any relationship you had had before with a human guy, but better. So much better. Your alien boyfriend - mate? It felt so weird to say it like that… - made you feel things that none of your ex human boyfriends could ever dream to do. Neteyam made you feel understood. He did not judge you. He made you feel at home. Neteyam was becoming home for you.

You started to tell him how sad and done with everything you sometimes felt. Well, not sometimes… It happened all the time, even though it got better now that Neteyam was in your life. But you did not want to make him worry about you.

"You know, sometimes I feel like that too."

"What do you mean?" You questioned

"Like there's so much chaos inside that I just wanna talk to someone and vent. But I'm always so busy. There never seems to be time to find someone to do that with."

You were slightly surprised. 

"Yeah, me too. Always too busy." You sighed "And exhausted, to be honest. Both physically and mentally."

"Well, I do have way more stamina than humans do" You laughed at Neteyam's teasing "But some nights I come home from training and after taking care of my siblings, really, really tired too. And I don't mean only physically."

"We have some stuff in common, don't we?" You pointed out, smiling

"We certainly do." He smiled back

You felt good knowing that.

Neteyam laid on the floor, right by your side.

"I'm full" He let out a laugh that sounded lovely in your ears while stroking his stomach.

"Me too." You laid on the floor too, just like Neteyam had just done. Your belly felt pleasantly filled up "But these fruits are so good I'd still eat a dozen of them." You playfully said, laughing

"Do you want more? I can get you some more." Neteyam gently offered

"No, it's okay, Teyam. I'm good for now." You smiled at him

Neteyam smiled back, showing no teeth, a soft, enamored look in his feline amber eyes.

You two spent some time together in comfortable silence.

"Oeyä muntxate?"

"Yeah?" You looked at him and let out a relaxed sigh, smiling softly

"Oel ngati kameie." He said, with vulnerable sincerity in his eyes

It seemed like he was gazing inside your very soul. Like his golden eyes could see something in you nobody else could. Like he saw who you truly were. Like Neteyam saw the good and bad and the ugly and the greatness and the doubts and the fears and the uniqueness and the ordinary parts of you, like he saw all of you, and it did not scare him off to see your dark side. You could feel he was staying for both your virtues and your vices. And maybe that's what "Oel ngati kameie" meant, when said to the one you're choosing to be your mate. Means connecting to someone in a raw, deep way, a way that nobody else is able to. A way that allows you to see the other person's flaws but not be afraid of them and try to find a way out. A way that allows you to see the grace in every little detail that that other soul has, to see the beauty in them that they themselves could never see.

"Oel ngati kameie…" You finally said, smiling, still not believing he had said those words to you

Neteyam smiled brightly while gazing into your eyes. He always looked deep inside your eyes… It felt almost too much but it still had just the right amount of intensity for it to be deliciously alluring instead of overwhelming.

Neteyam took your hand and intertwined your fingers on his. You felt the touch of his warm hand burning your skin in a pleasant way. After a few seconds, he kissed the back of your hand tenderly. You kept staring at both your hands glued together for a while.

"I wanna cuddle with you, oeyä muntxate." His voice brought your attention back to his face.

You could hear nervousness and need in his tone.

"Sure, yawne."

You were starting to really like calling Neteyam by na'vi pet names. The na'vi language was incredibly pleasing to the ears, in your opinion.

Neteyam started moving your body carefully, so you could lay on your side and when you obeyed, laying in said position, he himself laid on his side and pulled you in, making your body be as close to his as he could, your ass against his clothed member. 

Your lungs started to do a poor job at helping you breathe now that the both of you were so close. You got nervous as you two had, yes, cuddled before, when you were in your human body, but he was never behind you like that, his body glued to yours. You knew he could feel your ass on his cock. Your heart was beating at the speed of light.

It did not take long for you to start to feel Neteyam was now fully erect, his cock pressed against your ass. You felt the inner walls of your pussy start to twitch and you got all wet, your juices spreading over your panties. Neteyam was so big and thick and your body responded like crazy to him.

It was a violent, invincible desire that made Neteyam cling so much to you, all the time. It would burn his insides, making him yearn for you, for your touch, for your warmth. There was no rational explanation inside his head for it. Neteyam could not understand it, he could only feel it covering all his being, exuding from his eyes whenever he looked at you, touched you, kissed you… He knew you could tell how much he was thirsty for you almost all the time. But Neteyam did not care about being so vulnerable. He wanted you to know what you did to him. Maybe like that you would surrender sooner and give yourself to him completely already. He felt so impatient. Everyday it was getting harder and harder for him to not take you in his arms and mate with you. This wait was killing him, day by day. It was like a slow and agonizing death. And now that he could smell your sweet juices so vividly, he felt like he could no longer hold back.

Neteyam pushed you even closer to him. You whimpered softly, the feeling of his huge, girthy cock pressed against your butt was divine.

Neteyam got you crazily wet just so quickly that it never failed to surprise you. He was like quicksand to you; you could try and run as much as you wanted but you would always end up being swallowed by his love.

"I need you so much, muntxate…" He cried out softly in your ear while rubbing his hard cock on your ass. "You're all wet for me. You smell so good, it's intoxicating." He sniffed the air, savoring your natural scent just like it was the most mouthwatering thing he had ever felt filling his sensitive nostrils "Please, lemme make you mine completely, my sweet yawne. Please…"

༊⁀➷

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Hermione Granger x Male!Reader

Requested by Anon

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Request: Anonymous asked: “Hey! My best friend is in Slytherin.” Hermione Granger, Male Reader.

Hermione sighed as she heard Fred and George approaching before she saw them through the crowd of people gathered around them. She continued reading her book as they shouted and wound everyone up. None of the other houses had joined the Gryffindors in the great hall. 

“We all know it was the Slytherin’s that did it!” George finished as he approached Hermione.

“Hey! My best friend is in Slytherin.” Hermione snapped out and glared up at him. Fred scurried to her other side and she knew that they were about to unleash their infuriating synchronicity. She would be able to keep up with them of course. It was just irritating to deal with when she’d finally reached the interesting part of her book.

“A friend!”

“A best friend.” They said one after the other in their rhythmic way.

“Yes. I have a best friend who is in Slytherin. He happens to be excellent at charms and his family has a library of rare wizarding books. He lends them to me sometimes. All right.” Hermione realised that the more information she gave was more fuel for the proverbial fire so she refused to elaborate further but the damage was done.

“My, my. Perhaps you were in on the mishap! Clever Hermione.”

“And her mysterious best friend from Slytherin.”

“All those rare books to study.” 

“Perhaps you’re the culprit!” 

“Firstly, that is simply ridiculous. Secondly, I am done talking to you.” Hermione snapped and lifted her book high in front of her face. It did little to shield her from the twins' stares or the feeling of being observed by their flock of enamoured congregation.

“You know I have read several of Harry’s detective books. Those ones he likes with that… detective... ”

“Hmmm. I know the one. Where the guilty party clams up and waits for a representative. You think this could be something similar?”

“I do.”

“So do I.”

“I agree.”

“As do I!” 

“Excellent.”

“Indeed.”

A throat cleared and Hermione lowered her book that she had raised in front of her face, hoping against all odds, that Professor McGonagall was back early from checking the grounds with the other teachers and gathering the other houses. 

“(Y/N).” She said rather awkwardly. Fred and Geroge’s rambling attempt to pester her was silenced immediately followed by their heads whipping to you as you said hello and then whipped back to Hermione when she said hello back as if they were observing a rather intense if not awkward game of tennis.

“I suspect they know each other.” Fred whispered loudly to George.

“Seems to be the case. Make a note of it Fred.” George said and Fred nodded once firmly and pretended to write in the air on an invisible notepad before turning his attention back to you and Hermione.

“I wanted to apologise for making you late this afternoon. You are remarkably skilled…” This comment from you was followed by a jovial Ohhing sound from the twins as if you had just confessed to the spell that had knocked down a considerable portion of the southwest part of the school which was the cause of the whole school coming to a stand still. The sound was followed by a few mutterings of incorrect muggle legalities that neither twin really understood but thought sounded impressive. “Do you two mind?”

“No.”

“Not at all. Please carry on.”

“If I had not been struggling with my spell you might have been able to help with whatever happened. I appreciate you taking the time to help me. I know that it must have taken some convincing to have the professor agree to let us practise in her room.” You muttered out and felt rather embarrassed for the audience.

“I am more than happy to help a fellow philomath… A person who enjoys learning.” Hermione leaned to the side and whispered the last part to the twins who hummed as if she’d revealed great mystery and George gestured for her to go on. “Besides it gives us both a perfect alibi which is why I imagine you were sent here before the other Slytherins. Along with those six Hufflepuffs and eleven Ravenclaw. Who also have alibis.” Hermione slowed her words and lowered her tone as her face relaxed to reveal her irritation. Fred and George both winced and jumped up when she slowly turned to them.

“Well. Seems you have an alibi.” George said.

“As far as we can see. It couldn’t have been you. Which is odd because it’s usually you and your lot when it’s not us.” Fred muttered and glanced at George who nodded.

“Well, I admit. Turning all the drinks into jelly was us. But this wasn’t. At least it wasn’t me.” You answered and they both quickly forgot their imaginary detective agency and congratulated you on being part of the group that had turned every drink in the great hall into jelly during the Halloween feast the year before.

“I’m sorry.” Hermione said when the twins had hurried off to spread the word of your great prank.

“It’s fine. I imagine everyone is just scared.” You muttered and smiled when Hermione nodded.

“At least we know how to defend ourselves.” She muttered and moved over in her spot on one of the benches to allow you to sit next to her.

“Do you think we’ll need to? I thought Dumbledore thought it was just a spell gone wrong. Or a potion… one of the Hufflepuffs was talking about it.” You asked, accepting the seat and looking over the cover of the book she was reading before she flipped the book open again to the page she had marked with her thumb.

“I hope not.” She muttered. She had turned her attention back to the book which made you smile when you realised that no one else would be able to pull her attention away for the next few chapters at least.

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