#just yeah...yeah. yeah. yeah.
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Kenji and Yaz as soon as they're settled in on the boat and are able to process what they saw the past few days:
#SPOILERS IN THE TAGS#jwct#chaos theory#jurassic world: chaos theory#yasmina fadoula#kenji kon#They're both finally unable to Move or Do Things#yaz WATCHED SOMEONE GET EATEN WHOLE#HE WAS PULLED FROM HER HAND#IN HER PLACE OF SAFETY#she's seen people get eaten before obviously but you know I think she might have KNOWN THIS ONE??????????#also SHE TRIED TO SAVE HIM???????#and kenji#well#yeah#just yeah...yeah. yeah. yeah.#he had his roadside breakdown but NO WAY IS THAT ENOUGH#BUT HE HAS TO LIVE WITH THAT#oh also he heard the dying screams of his ex on her phone#WHAT DID THEY DO TO THEM#i know yaz ain't fragile but STILLLLLLL
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I know what you're all definitely thinking. What if everyone from Gravity Falls was a chair. Well, I was bored enough at 3am to think about that too
Edit: part 2
#chair au!!!1!!#just saw an old ass lawn chair and thought “yeah. that's stan”#shitpost#gravity falls#gravity falls memes#stan pines#grunkle stan#mabel pines#dipper pines#bill cipher#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#soos ramirez#wendy corduroy
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had a dream I went to a hozier concert and mr. hozier stopped singing and pointed to me in the crowd and asked me to go get him some extra crispy tofu and a blueberry shake for after the show and then the crowd passed his debit card to me and when I got it I could see his real legal name was Horace Bob-omb
#then the rest of the dream was me running through traffic trying to get to mcdonalds for the shake and to the store for the tofu#but i could still hear the music from the venue wherever I was#just chattin'#yeah man idk either#i guess is should tag this as#hozier#?????
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The worst trauma comes from those who you love
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle Stan#the pines twins#tw stan#genuially was hard drawing that last panel cause it kept freaking me out#ptsd guy meme#No ford did not jork it he’s just a nerd who gets nerd magazines#based off those pop teen magazines from the 2000s#sea grunkles#yeah this joke has been beat to death but idc#comic practice#I fucked up which hand was holding the box oops#uhhh ignore that#trigonometry is a ridiculously hard word to fit onto anything#‘that’s not a right angle’ YOUR MOMS NOT A RIGHT ANGLE#it was in fact NOT right for him#get it
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#the subtext was always there#y’all were just too pussy to admit it!!#‘eww bill’s a homicidal maniac and also literally a triangle!’#yeah and he's also ford's ex next question#gravity falls#bill cipher#ford pines#billford#fae figures#memes
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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'wah wah everywhere is falling to the right wing the whole world is doomed' literally like 6 months ago we were talking about how there was a trend in countries getting rid of their right wing governments. poland at the end of last year, france voted in a unified centre left/left alliance, even the UK finally got rid of the tories after 15 years (right wing splitting be damned, it still happened). outside of europe, bangladesh removed a dictator in like 2 seconds, india may have reelected their Evil Guy but on a DISTINCTLY reduced majority, theres been queer rights successes in thailand, with gay marriage set to be legal by 2025, and thereve been positive court cases on it in japan. and this is just stuff i vaguely remember hearing about. im sure theres more if you care to look for anything aside from more reasons to make yourself miserable
the US has a distinct effect on everyone, so this won't be fun for anyone (least of all its population. sorry guys), and there ARE a lot of people sliding into right wing extremism, but presenting this like its an unchallenged worldwide phenomenon is inaccurate, its damagingly bleak, and all it does is encourage despair and apathy. you DO have political power, and you shouldnt forget that just because of bad election results and the media's desperation to make you lose hope
#us politics#politics#have been seeing a lot of doom. guys not everything is sliding into horror. yeah theres dangerous trends but theres still a lot of rational#ppl in the world. dont forget that just because youre angry at people are rich enough not to care or who fall for fearmongering#anyway. sending love to the states it cant be easy sharing land mass with 70 million of the worst people ever
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idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they could make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.
#ace writes#autism#nonverbal#deaf#deafawareness#sign language#no yeah i just think it would be good#btw I am a semi nonverbal autistic person that knows a couple of simple signs#but would like to pursue it further as a good method of communication for me#just so ya know :}
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"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw
#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now#there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies#aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you#so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager#the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience
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AMEN 🙌
#‘who cares if it’s mindless slop for ipad babies they’re just kids 🤪’ yeah and kids deserve great films too#a minecraft movie#the secret of nimh#don bluth
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the thing that sucks most about Joanne Rowling being a terf is that she is actively hurting real life trans people every day.
the second worst thing about joanne being a terf is that the Harry Potter intellectual property is So Much Larger than her. look at the credits for just one of the harry potter movies. every single one of those people put YEARS of time and effort and dare i say love into those films. think of all the people involved in theme park design and operation who put together the wizarding world park lands and detailed them so lovingly and fully
and yet even though the intellectual property of harry potter is so much larger than joanne, she's poisoned the whole well
i feel so. so immensely sorry for every person involved in the harry potter ip who isn't jkr. doubly sorry for every trans person involved. it's fucking sad
#fuck harry potter#I just feel sorry for danrad and etc. who just. god. god damn#imagine putting that much work into something and then. yeah
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#polls#remaking bc i forgot to change to 1week.#but yeah us latinos smelling so damn good while showering everyday while some other places.....like.....ew#just some perfume.over their sweaty ass...or not even that...cant relate.#brasil tag#t.txt
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I just love it when video games let you do really stupid shit that kills you immediately. I love being like "oh this is a terrible idea" and being able to do it and then die. It's good game design.
#like how fnv lets you run right up to a deathclaw at like lvl one and then you die#it's good#let me do stupid shit and let it have consequences#even if those consequences are just “yeah driving into a gas giant kills you stupid”
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It's like we all collectively forgot as a society that friendship and just connection in general takes effort. Even if you meet someone you immediately click with, it takes hanging out about 20 times (!) to become friends. And guess what, some of those 20 meetings might be awkward or unimpressive.
We all want to reap the benefits (having a friend circle, having a partner, getting married) without doing the work (going to events, interacting with people, learning to handle conflict maturely, dating). Myself included. If I could, I'd never leave the house or go on another mediocre date again... except, that's part of the process.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, the cure to the loneliness epidemic is touching some grass and building tolerance for tedious in-person interactions.
#yeah I did put on makeup just to go out with someone who doesn't know how to ask interesting questions#I'll do it again just to get to that special person#tagging this lesbian cause that's who my blog is for#but this is true regardless of sexuality#lesbian#dyke#sapphic#wlw#dykeposting#femme4butch#femme#femme lesbian#butch4femme#butch#butch lesbian
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gargoyle Mal is everything I've ever dreamed of and more. his little raincoat! his umbrella! I hope he really does have big ol' stompy rainboots to splash around in puddles in. I hope they have little faces on them.
(Twst please give me Malleus having a rainy day adventure, this is everything I need right now)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#malleus draconia crown prince of briar valley descendent of the witch of thorns and a mage of frightening power: ooh big splashy#(my brain INSTANTLY to this very day: hit 'em with a splash attack)#honestly though yeah i do just want to see malleus having a really good fun day in the rain looking at some big stone fellas#it's gonna be three solid hours of him lecturing us on the minutiae of stone masonry and i'm gonna be hooked on every second#remember kids: aqueduct means you're in luck#if there's no water spout then get it the heck OUT
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