#just wish my vibes of 'DO NOT FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT' would be picked up. just once

[fortjester]

i know that whenever some kind of tragedy occurs everyone feels the need to say smth abt it in order to make the person at the center of it feel better or smth. but tbh? pisses me the fuck off, actually. feels like wow. something awful has happened and yet life goes on. i can stew in misery for a select amount of time but eventually i will have to get up and keep going. and then the SECOND that you do it's all "oh im so sorry X happened". nobody fucking asked. thanks so much for your needless apology it means absolutely fucking nothing to me. not in the slightest was it about you. get OFF of my dick right this second or im going to pound you to a fine mist for daring to bring it up in my presence. are we clear.

[vampirememory]

quality ✧ do you need to lower or raise your standards? [Love PAC]

Hello! I believe this is my first pick a card of 2024, I hope you appreciate the topic I chose. This is something that I recently had to recognize and deal with myself, so hopefully you find this reading helpful.

Pick a photo or a number one through three and continue reading to find your reading.

One

No, absolutely not. If anything, your standards are too low. You are like me, at least myself a few weeks/months ago when I did not value myself. You need to understand that you are 100% valuable and loved, and that there is nothing that can depreciate your value. You may have been overconsuming readings, questioning as to why you continue getting into toxic relationships or completely lack a relationship and it's because you have a negative sense of self. Listening to self-worth or self concept subliminals may help you. You are worthy of a healthy, happy relationship but you need to be healthy yourself first. Now keep in mind, healthy does not mean without illnesses. I know from my experience with depression, I will never be healthy, but you CAN have a healthy outlook on life and a healthy sense of self, which is what you are looking for. Especially for my mentally ill friends, no one (not here, at least) is expecting you to be 100% healthy but to be as healthy as you can be, if that makes sense.

Two

Girlie, I hate to tell you but your standards are high as fuck. But is that a bad thing? You tell me. To be clear, when I say girlie I am 100% being gender neutral, this reading is for everyone ^-^! You're giving boss bitch energy, but are you actually a boss bitch? One thing about having high standards is that you also need to meet those standards yourself and you need to ask yourself "would someone like that want to date me"? For example, if you're really aiming for a basketball player or the top CEO, are you actually in a mental and physical space where that will happen? Are you out on the courts, networking and integrating yourself into sports environments? Are you working your way up to the top, making connections with higher ups and building a good reputation? I think you may have good standards, but you aren't reaching them yourself or not putting yourself in environments where you'll meet said person. Also make sure you are actually maintaining those standards too. If you think education is important, and you're actively in education and want someone else who is too, why settle for someone who hates education or isn't looking to educate themselves? Things like that make all the difference. If you want to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk too.

Three

This pile gives me much softer vibes than the other two piles. Your standards and romantic requests may be more traditional, you may want the house and the kids and the white picket fence and that's totally fine! I think you're doing well in terms of your standards, you uphold them and you aren't putting yourself in situations where you are with people who are against that dream or against those standards. I do need to warn you, however, that there are a lot of exploitive people out there, especially when it comes to wanting a more traditional homelife. Waiting is a completely fine thing to do. Don't jump at the first person that looks nice and ticks all the boxes because they may be lying. I don't see terrible things happening for you but I feel like I needed to include a warning. Just be careful and you'll get your wishes <3.

Thats all for today my friends! Check out my masterlist for my previous readings and remember to stay safe in this crazy world! Feel free to send asks with any topics you would like to see in the future.

[coldbronzemoon]

Danny Fenton, Totally Mortal Hero Consultant (DPxDC)

Snippet for an AU I'll probably never fully write where Danny takes a job as a consultant for the Justice League to help with ghost and demon bullshit. It's a pretty good cash flow to help him with college, after all, and very flexible hours.

He just claims all his knowledge comes from his parents. Unfortunately, the JL has caught word of the elusive yet active hero Phantom, and want Danny to help them meet and assess him. Whoops.

Over the phone, Tucker sighed. “Good Christ, Danny, why do you keep doing this?”

“I’m not doing anything,” Danny said immediately. He winced at the vague sound of screaming below. Demons sucked. “I didn’t know the JL thing was gonna have me finding Phantom. How would I? They were talking about tracking down powerful ghosts, I was assuming Ancients!”

Tucker sighed again, which was really quite unfair of him. “Mhm. Well, Fenton Catcher?”

“Probably not. They know me pretty well at this point, and unlike what Sam says I can be professional. I’d confuse them with the… uh…”

“Stoner shtick?”

There was more screaming happening, but judging from the pitch it was a demon screaming this time. Danny checked the situation. Yep, demon getting their ass kicked. He didn’t need to get involved with a blaster. Yet.

Instead, he scowled at his phone. “Stop calling it that.”

“You’re gonna tell me flanny Danny wasn’t a pitch-perfect stoner, huh? With the chill vibing and the dopey look?”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, bud.” 

The sound of a clacking keyboard that had underlined their conversation stopped. “But seriously, Danny, what the hell are you gonna do with this?”

“Uh, lie, probably,” Danny said, because it was very likely.

“Alright, smartass, what are you going to do when that lie backfires on you like literally every other one does?”

“That’s when I start gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing, babe.”

He had a hard time hearing Tucker’s distant groan of “Why am I still your friend?” on account of the sudden explosion. Danny checked again. Hm. Demon dude had a nasty fire thing going on.

Danny switched on his Fenton water gun—holy water included!-- and shot the demon in the face. They let out a cracking hiss of rage, but dropped the fire spell thing. He waited for them to stop looking around wildly for the culprit for a moment. 

He went back to the call. “‘Cause you loooove me, Tuck. From the bottom of your twice-dead heart.”

“Unfortunately,” Tucker deadpanned.

Danny just cackled. It was lost amongst the sound of supernatural bullshit below.

“Anyway, I’m still figuring out my plan A, honestly. Might bring in gray-man?”

“Amorpho’s an asshole, though. He’ll ruin the whole thing by taking the opportunity to shift into a JL member for a bit.”

Hm. True.

“Yeah, but he’s the main guy I know with that power set.”

“Ask after Desiree?” He could hear the immediate distaste in Tucker’s voice. “Ugh, pretend I didn’t say that. That’s worse than Amorpho.”

“It’s awful,” Danny agreed easily. 

Desiree was actually pretty alright nowadays, mostly on account of Danny remembering the last couple minutes of Aladdin and wishing she could refuse wishes she didn’t want to grant. That had made her happy enough to stop actively picking fights. 

Unfortunately, spending the entirety of one’s afterlife twisting the wording of wishes to their worst form made it hard to stop being an asshole. Who knew! So getting Desiree to split him in two for like a week had a 50/50 chance of fucking up his work relationship with the literal league of superheroes irrevocably. And this was his main cash flow right now.

So, no Desiree, no siree.

“Come up with something better then, asshole.”

Danny hummed and, since the heroes below were focused on the demon, lifted up a little and did a thoughtful back flip. What to do, what to do…?

Oh!

“My cousin!” he exclaimed.

“What cous—? Oh, Ellie.”

“Yeah, Ellie, Tuck. Which other cousins do I have?”

Tucker scoffed. “You literally have that whole Nightingale thing going on through your dad?”

Danny couldn’t help the face he made. The remaining Nightingales were worse than his parents somehow. “The Nightingales don’t count.”

“You can’t just say they don’t count.”

“I can say that, actually, and I will. They’re, like, cousins through my great-great-great-grandpa anyway.”

“Isn’t there a fight going on over there? Should you be shooting someone?”

 “Yeah, probably.”

He peaked down through the window once more. The heroes must have gotten the first demon to leave while he was talking, because the horned demon fighting them now was a truly unfortunate shade of yellow-green instead of purple. Or maybe it had transformed for some reason? They had it about as in-hand as the other one, though, so Danny definitely didn’t need to go down there. He shot the maybe-new demon in the face real quick.

“Anyway, Ellie can totally help out, she’s been practicing with changing up her looks. She’s also more, uh, malleable than me, what with her situation and all. Looking fully like Phantom shouldn’t be hard.”

Tucker hummed. “She’d try to embarrass you though.”

“Yeah, that’s a problem.” Danny spun in place. “I could bribe her?”

“With what? Her life doesn’t involve needing much cash.”

“She doesn’t get out to the Zone very much. Not many of the inhabited places, anyway. I can promise her the weird apple things Dora’s been growing with Sam’s help, she loved those.”

“If you think that’ll work…” Tucker trailed off dubiously.

Danny laughed. “She’s annoying sometimes, but she’s not gonna fuck over my job if I ask her not to. I’ll just bribe her extra hard for resisting the temptation to mock me.”

“Fair enough.” The clacking of keys resumed. “I’ve really gotta pay attention now, someone’s trying to stop me from getting into this database. Someone half-decent, actually, did they upgrade? Hm. Make sure no one died, yeah?”

“They’re alive. Bye, Tuck,” Danny said, and ended the call.

He shoved his phone back into his jacket pocket and made his way down the stairs. The fight outside he had been stationed for was basically over—Captain Marvel and Green Lantern (Danny was pretty sure he had accidentally learned the dude’s actual name at some point, but hell if he could remember)—had pulled out the magic restraints one of the other consultants had handed out.

That had probably been Constantine. Ugh. Constantine. Dude could stand to lighten up a little; skulking and smoking all the time wasn’t the base state of someone enjoyable to be around. Then again, Danny knew he annoyed the shit out of some of the league with his own attitude, so he maybe shouldn’t talk. But at least he was annoying with a smile!

Case in point: Danny grinned at the heroes. “Got it handled?”

“Suppose so,” said the Green Lantern, “though a little more help would have been nice.”

Captain Marvel was too busy getting in a minor tussle with the demon to say anything either way.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m like, pretty mortal,” Danny said. “I’m not fucking with demons right where they can hit me. And I did shoot him!”

Green Lantern rolled his eyes, but admitted the point. Danny cheerfully flipped him off anyway.

“I’ll be heading out, then, the hellmouth this guy crawled out of is like three miles away.” Captain Marvel said, hauling the handcuffed demon over his shoulders like a very angry backpack.

“Oh, one more for the road!” 

Danny hit the demon with a final water gun shot. Hissing and scrunching their face like a cat, the demon tried to lunge at him. It wasn’t very successful. Weirdly non-verbal for a demon, who usually had to talk to make deals and steal mortal souls, but Danny wouldn’t judge. Might be a minor demon. A really basic imp? Who knew.

“Stop being a little bitch and you won’t get spray-bottled, asshole,” Danny chided.

With a loud laugh, Captain Marvel sped away.

[iamyourdailydoseofbi]

Hii I was wondering if maybe you could write a Aemond Targaryen fic? Where Aemond is like Gomez Addams and he says, "Look at her --I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way --what bliss." With maybe even a taylor swift song? Thanks :))

EITHER WAY WHAT BLISS ( House of the Dragon x Reader )

AUTHOR NOTE! It makes me so happy to know that you requested my writing! I love this idea! He does ( lowkey ) give off this vibe <3

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Fem! Tully! Reader 

prompt: Aemond is willing to die for the Reader if it means he'll get an ounce of her love.. ( The inspo was 'Gorgeous' by Taylor Swift. )

key: h/c = hair color, Dahlia = random servant girl, Evan Tully

word count: 2,000+ words

Brushing away a strand of white hair from their face, Y/n scans the rows of men, her eyes lingering on her brother Brynden. Her name day was supposed to be a small affair between her family and her bethorthal’s. But, the King was stubborn and insisted on having a Tourney at the very least. So, she’d be sitting through at least an hour of jousting, games of archery, and grueling duels. Not exactly what she wanted to do on her name day. But, what can she do? 

Picking at her bottom lip, Brynden gives her a weak smile as he adjusts his armor, her heart clenched tightly. He could barely hold a sword, and of course, he had to enter a bloody swordsman match. Feeling Dahlia nudge her side hard, she snaps out of her daze, her cheeks flushing red from embarrassment. Shit. Turning to look at Dahlia, she tries to smile as the black haired girl continues to ramble away about something about men and their ‘walks’. 

“I bet you my finest necklace, that knight. The one in black armor is really fine under that helmet.” Dahlia giggles, twirling a strand of her hair. 

“Oh? How do you know that? For all you know he’s got the face of a donkey. How good he looks in armor, doesn’t mean that he’s that good in regular clothes.” Y/n scoffs, following Dahlia’s eyes. 

“It’s the walk. Look at how he holds himself. A fine looking man walks with a little extra pep in his step. Like he knows that the moment he removes that helmet, girls are going to swoon over him.” Dahlia smirks, “Just like your little Prince.” 

“Just because you want to fuck my betrothed does not mean that I wish to hear about it, Dahlia.  Keep that talk for the other maids.” Y/n scoffs, rolling her eyes. 

“I am envious that you, little Y/n Tully, are going to call that man her husband. The ungodly things I would do make him look at me the way he does to you. He looks at you like you crafted the moon and stars.” Dahlia rambles, a dreamy look on her face. 

Scoffing at Dahlia’s teasing, she narrows her eyes at the knight, inspecting the black armor he adorned. His face was hidden under his helmet. Looking for some kind of hint of which house he was from, the only thing that was kind of a hint was the sapphire blue cape he was wearing. But, even then it could mean nothing. Tilting her head to the side, she didn’t like that the man was a mystery, why was he hiding? What was he hiding? Watching as he strolls over to Brynden, she stands up a little straighter in her seat, her jaw clenching. If he so much as touched a hair on her baby brother’s head, she’d make Maegor the Cruel seem like a baby compared to her. 

“Brynden will be fine, Y/n.” Dahlia reasons, but her voice is weak. 

“Brynden cannot even hold a sword upright.” Y/n argues, “Not to mention he’s got two left feet!” 

“Well you’ve always looked rather pretty in black?” Dahlia weakly smiles. 

“Dahlia!” Y/n scolds, shooting her friend a look. 

“I know! But, at least he’ll look good dying?” Dahlia cringes at her own words, “I don’t know! I don't really know what to say..”

Slapping Dahlia’s shoulder, the pit in her stomach only worsens, her face curling up in anger and uneasiness. She did not have any other siblings but Brynden. He was her whole world. Her baby brother. She had practically raised him! She was the one to teach him how to say his first words. She was the one who taught him how to walk. She was there to teach him how to handle a horse. How to be a just and kind Lord. How to be the perfect husband. She did everything that a parent would do. Except how to hold a sword. 

Picking at her bottom lip with her teeth, she slowly rises from  her seat, pacing back and forth in place. She wouldn’t be able to stomach her baby brother getting hurt. It’d kill her, surely! Feeling Dahlia grab her arm, she’s pulled from her darkening thoughts. The taste of blood floods her mouth. Shit. Wiping her bottom lip clean of blood, she’s aware of the eyes that now shifted onto her. The maiden of the day.  Aemond Targaryen’s betrothed. The sweet little Tully girl born with white curls. The Enchantress of the Realm. 

"Ocean blue eyes looking in mine I feel like..I might sink and drown and die.."

“If that was your attempt to make me feel better, it failed..” Y/n breaths out, “Perhaps, I should just talk to him about pulling out. It’s not too late..” 

“My Lady…” Dahlia tries, but Y/n doesn’t hear her. 

“Do not try to talk me out of this, Dahlia. I will not allow my brother to make a fool of himself, or worse kill himself.” Y/n shakes her head, “I have made my mind! Come let us⎯”

“It’s your future husband..” Dahlia speaks through her teeth.

“You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face..'Cause look at your face..gorgeous...” 

Furrowing her brows at Dahlia’s odd words, the black haired girl turns her around, forcing her to look down. Shit.  She finds herself staring down at Aemond, the mysterious knight in black armor. Her face flushes a bright red from embarrassment. The knight they had⎯Well the knight Dahlia was gawking at was Aemond. Staring at him with wide eyes, Dahlia nudges her side, trying to snap her out of her little daze. But, it feels like her tongue is made of lead. Looking him up and down, his long white locs are braided back from his face, but a few stray strands frame his face. There’s a small smirk on his face, as he adjusts his armor. Gods almighty, he looked gorgeous in armor. 

“And I'm so furious..At you for making me feel this way..But what can I say? You're gorgeous..”

“Aemond..” Y/n breathes out, “You're the blue knight..I..I thought you didn’t give a shit about Tourneys?” 

“I don’t. But, it would be a shame if I did not participate in my future-brides Name Day Tourney.” He smirks, licking his bottom lip. 

“I..Aemond, could you..?” She chews on her bottom lip, “Could you possibly? Please watch out for my brother?” 

“I will.” He nods, making her smile gratefully. 

“Thank you.” 

He kept his word, or at least that was what Dahlia was telling her. She hadn’t dared to open her eyes just yet. She didn’t not care if that made her a coward. She just couldn’t stand to watch the fights and not think about her brother while men pummeled each other with swords. Squeezing Dahlia’s hand tightly, she tenses at the call of her brother’s name and Aemond’s. Her eyes shoot open, her jaw dropping slightly. No. No. No. No. That couldn't be right! She must have misheard! Sharply turning her head to the fighting circle, she bolts from her seat, leaning against the railing. Her nails dig into the wood like a cat’s would. Her eyes are flickering between the two of them. 

One of them would get hurt, she was sure of it, whether it be intentional or not. Her breathing grows ragged, her heart pounding against her ribcage. She was afraid that it would jump out of her chest. Watching as they  raise their swords, she stuck in a trance as they slowly circled each other. Their swords collide, her eyes shutting tightly at the horrid sound of metal against metal. Biting her lip, she doesn’t know why her eyes peel open, but her heart stops in her chest as  she catches the sight of Aemond falling to the ground. His sapphire blue cape slowly turned red. She nearly faints at the sight of red, he’s bleeding. Oh gods..He was bleeding. 

“You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah..”

“AEMOND!” She shouts, the words escaping her lips before she can stop it.

“My Prince!” Someone shouts, their voice a blur in her mind. 

No. No. No. No. Watching with blurry eyes as Maesters rush to him, she wants to bolt to him, but her legs are frozen in place. Brynden drops his sword, the realization creeping on his face. Feeling Dahlia’s arms wrap around her, it seems like the Arena explodes with chaos in an instant. Everyone is shouting loudly. Guards are rushing around in every direction. But, throughout the chaos her eyes are on him. Her Aemond. 

“He’ll be okay…” Dahlia reassures, “Maesters are tending to him..” 

“Take me to him.” Y/n breaths out, tears flooding her eyes. 

“Y/n..” Dahlia nervously warns, “I..I don’t think we should. Not right now at least.” 

“Take me to him.” Y/n repeats, her voice more firm than before.

Shooting Dahlia an icy glare, Dahlia chews on her lip before nodding her head at the request, a nervous look on her face. What if it was bad? What if he died? Would Brynden be punished? Gods, how in the Seven bloody hells did this happen? Following Dahlia, she picks up her skirt, her eyes searching for the white haired man that was to be her husband. Pushing past frantic Lords and Guards,  it felt like an invisible force had her by the throat,  squeezing her lungs and throat with each step she took closer to a bleeding out Aemond.  

Seeing him laying on the ground, his chest piece was removed, his white tunic cut open to reveal the rather gnarly gash on his stomach.  Tears flood her eyes at the sight before her.  Covering her mouth with her hand, she rushes to his side,  her eyes scanning every little detail that she can. His chest was moving up and down, he was drenched in sweat and dirt. That was a good thing. Looking at his face, his eye patch was removed, his hair completely unbraided and spread around him like a halo. 

“Oh..Aemond..” She whispers, petting his sweat soaked hair. 

“My Lady, you should not be here.” 

“He is my husband to be, I will not be leaving.” She argues, turning back to Aemond. “Aemond, are you okay, love?”

“I am fine. Do not worry.” He grunts, clenching his jaw.

Staring into his eyes, she tenses up at the sight of his missing eye-patch. Fuck, he looked gorgeous with that scar. Looking up at her, he notices her attention on his face. Lifting a hand to touch his face, his face drains of color when he doesn’t feel the leather of his eye-patch. He had been purposeful in hiding his scar from the world. He didn’t want to be viewed as a monster. But, she looked at him with such softness in her eyes. Hunching over him, she casually places her hand over his eye, hiding his eye from everyone. Giving him a small nod, his breathing grows shaky. 

“You dodged his attack. But, not like someone as experienced with a sword as you are, would. Why?” Dahlia asks, narrowing her eyes at Aemond.  

“Look at her, I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way⎯what bliss.” He whispers, High Valyrian flowing off his tongue. 

“You are a lovestruck fool, Aemond Targaryen.” Dahlia scoffs, “I hope this is the bloodloss talking.”

“What did you say?” Y/n furrows her brows, “Dahlia..?”

“He didn’t want to risk hurting your brother. That he rather he be the one hurt and not your brother. Come, let us reassure your little brother that he hasn’t killed your beloved.” Dahlia lies smoothly, nodding her head at Aemond.

Y/n looks between Dahlia and Aemond unsure, chewing on her bottom lip. She didn’t know enough High Valyrian to understand what the two of them were discussing. But, she trusted Dahlia enough to take her word for it. Opening her mouth to speak, Aemond grabs onto her hand, stopping her. Looking down at Aemond, her cheeks flushing involuntarily, her heart was pounding frantically in her chest. She wanted him to keep on looking at her like that. 

“Go..” He nods, "I will be fine."

[night-daily]

I thought I'd lost you forever | Roronoa Zoro x fem! reader

summary: After Zoro it's defeated on a duel, he's hurted badly and no one knows if he'll recover.

warnings: ep 5 and 6 spoilers, one piece live action, hurt/comfort

a/n: im obsessed with Zoro ngl :]

You were at the Baratie kitchen with Zeff and Sanji, ranting about your discussion with Zoro, just to make sure you weren't overreacting but they knew better than not take part because well, you were pretty mad and they didn't want you to pick up your rage on them.

Just remembering the discussion makes your blood boil.

You and Luffy walked into the room where Zoro, Nami, and Ussop were. All of them turn to see the two of you, “Hey crew!” , Luffy says but none of them replies, and your smile falters. What was going on? The vibe in the room was so tense.

“Zoro challenged Mihawk to a duel”, You were shocked. What was he thinking? He was even thinking?

Nami asked Luffy to convince Zoro to not fight Mihawk but he didn't do it, instead, he supported Zoro to fight the duel. You make eye contact with Zoro, shaking your head clearly disappointed. You turned yourself ready to leave but before you got the chance, his voice made you stop on track.

“What? You think I can't win?” You observed his face, trying to figure him out but he wasn't showing any emotion. “If you wish to die today, then go ahead, I'm no one to stop you” , Please don't go, If something happens to you I will lose my mind, that's what you wanna to say.

“You're right, you're no one” , You're everything to me, that's what he wanted to say and it was true. You're his world and Zoro has tried to make you know it but you're too oblivious to notice it and he's scared to tell you his feelings not because you may reject him, because he thinks he'll ruin your friendship. “I have to become the world's greatest swordsman” “I know but—” “No, you don't know how it feels like, you don't even have a dream.” Your brows furrowed, of course, you had a dream like everyone else, in fact, the only one you had told about your dream was Zoro, and you trusted him so much but here was he now, using it against you, it made you feel sick. “Fuck you, Zoro, maybe Mihawk won't kill you but your pride is.”

After that you stormed out of the room, his eyes following you with a heavy feeling in his chest.

  ⚔  ⚔   ⚔  ⚔ 

“So I was wrong?” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Of course not, love” Sanji answered, Zeff rolled his eyes knowing what was he doing. “You know? I would never hurt you like—”

“MY FRIEND NEEDS HELP” Luffy burst into the kitchen yelling.

The anger left your body being replaced by worry. You ran as fast as your legs could carry you, heading to Going Merry without thinking twice. Sanji, Zeff, and Luffy going after you, you arrived and saw Zoro's body, his chest covered with blood and a serious wound. Your breathing was unstable and your body trembling, everything was blurry to you as Zeff treated his wounds faster and you couldn't help but think this was your fault.

“You gotta talk to him, make him stay here, in this world” You all nodded and thanked him for his help. Sanji decided to stay there to cook, Luffy, Ussop and you were sitting across him talking, well, they talking and you tried to focus on the conversation but your mind wandered thinking about Zoro.

While Sanji was cooking, Luffy was the first to move, ready to head to the room where Zoro was.

“Can I...?” Their heads turned to see you. You cleared your throat “Can I talk to him first, please?” Luffy hesitated for a second and he was about to refuse you but Sanji cut him off, “Ladies first” you murmured a thank you, walking to the room, behind you, you heard your captain asking them why he had to let you to talk Zoro first if he wanted to talk him too.

“Because they need it, they're more than friends” Ussop responds with a smirk on his face, which makes Luffy more confused, “They're best friends?” Sanji and Ussop laughed at him shaking their heads.

You closed the door behind you. Sitting on a chair that was next to him. Your eyes fell on his wound and instantly felt an overwhelming wave of guilt crash onto you. “I really don't want to lose you, so you better wake up” you hold his hand intertwining your fingers. “'cause I'm not gonna let you die” His breathing was slow but steady “When I said all that stuff earlier, I didn't mean it” Your eyes welled up with tears, replaying your last conversation with him in your mind.

Lost in your thoughts you didn't even feel when Zoro intertwined his fingers around yours. Then he squeezed your hand softly. While your heart was pounding in your chest. “did you miss me?” forgetting about his wound, you hugged him tight “you idiot! never do that again, I thought I'd lost you forever” He groaned painfully. “Sorry, sorry! I'm so sorry Zoro This is—” “Don't you even dare to say this was your fault, because it's not” you opened your mouth. He sent you a death glare. “Before I passed out, do you know what my only regret was?” He looked right into your eyes. “To not have the opportunity to beg for your forgiveness, what I said about your dream, it was wrong and I'm sorry, I will work to regain your trust, I promise” He brings your hand to his mouth, giving it a gentle kiss.

Something was different now and you both knew it, you were eager to know what the future would hold for the two of you.

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

Pick a Card: Message from your Spirit Team

I love connecting with everyone's guides! Thank you to the collective and their spirit guides for your support in this reading. I love you! The universe loves you! and your guides love you!!! <3 Take what resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new perceptions.

Decks used are: Alchemy Oracles, Archetype Oracle, Necronomicon Tarot

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Drop any reading suggestions, request readings, or reading recommendations in my ask box! Can't wait to see what y'all wanna see!

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PILE ONE

Astrology: Virgo, Gemini, Scorpio

Song: Shooting Star by Owl City

Vibes: Black, white, green, blue, thunder, rain, prophetic dreams, illusion, secrets, finders-keepers, forests, 9999, corsets, darkness, frozen fruit, con artist, narcissistic, Hera

Cards: 6 of Swords, Eros, Destroyer, Quicksilver

My friend, you have bitten off more than you can chew while standing upon a really unsteady foundation. It will crumble eventually. It isn't a matter of "if". It will happen. It is a matter of "when". You can't go on like this. You can't play both sides. You are going to lose people who you dearly love if you keep it up. Your intentions are pure I know. You don't want to rock the boat. You don't want to make the wrong decision. The actions you took were driven by a good heart but you are stretching that good heart too thin to be able to continue like this. What you are doing was supposed to be temporary but you are treating it as if it is sustainable and permanent. Luckily, there is an escape from the desolation you could face. You must be honest about how you feel to yourself. You must be true. You can't just follow anymore to make everyone happy. Decide for yourself because there is no staying out of it anymore. If it takes you time to decide that's alright. If you need time to do research on whatever decision this is that is fine. Take your time deciding. But you MUST decide and if you don't decide then it will be decided for you.

This feels like a different decisions for different people reading this. I can see it might be about a situation-ship or familial/friend drama. It could be political as well. Either way you have spent most of your time in this situation sitting on the side lines and not making any moves. You believe if you ignore whatever is happening it will solve itself. It won't. I'm sorry. You are being tested and being indecisive is the only way you can fail. Not deciding will have the most cons and very little pros. I can definitely tell why it has taken you a bit to think about. Either decision you make there will be pros and cons to whatever it is you decide. You think you can escape the cons by not addressing it at all. However, being complacent is a decision, my dude. Not deciding is still a decision to do nothing.

When you do decide, you must stand firm on your decision. You MUST. Don't be wishy washy about it and change your mind once you have chosen. Even if you have regrets you MUST stand firm. Your guides will reward you after with many gifts of love. I also see gifts of knowledge. Later down the line you will see why you had to make the choice. You will be enlightened on what would have happened if you chose the other route. I can hear you sighing in relief when you learn this and not regretting your path. I wish you luck, my dear.

_____________

PILE TWO

Astrology: Sagittarius, Leo, Capricorn

Song: Gold on the Ceiling by The Black Keys

Vibes: Yellow, pink, red, crows, bats, crowbars, dirt, grave yards, 333, courtesan, aging, mushrooms, pine needles, sewing, weaving, looms, large dogs, Persephone, Hades

Cards: The Sun, The Poet, The Lover, Smoke

My dear, why are you so mean to yourself for attempting to be happy? What is the logical purpose of that? Listen, I get it. You have been through so messy messy stuff. It fucked up your head and it corrupted the way you think and talk about yourself. But seriously, can you think of any reason besides "it feels familiar to hurt which means it's safe." Dude. For real, stop being so mean to yourself. It doesn't get work done faster. It doesn't help you when you aren't working and you are trying to rest. It isn't doing you any good to put yourself down for what you enjoy. It just makes life harder than it already is. It doesn't have to be that hard. It SHOULDN'T be that hard. I know what you say to yourself, dude. You mimic those who have criticized you in the past. You are parroting the pain they caused you and repeating the cycles of abuse you faced. The people who hurt you before were looking in mirrors. They weren't truly looking at you. Their opinions of you don't resemble reality. They just wanted to bully someone besides themselves to feel better about themselves.

The insults you are repeating aren't how you truly feel. You are a so much more than a victim. First of all, you are an important person. Second, you are an artist. A very good artist, I might add. You can capture the emotion you are feeling perfectly when you create. When you write, you communicate what you wish to say so clearly that it touches the hearts of even the most emotionless people. That is power. That is magic. I am not going to say you are talented, my dear. Because I know your skill came from years of practice. Years of love drenched artwork and thoughtful choosing of words. You are more than talent, my dear. You are driven. You are intelligent. Any road block you faced you gracefully jumped over or powered through. Do not be mean to yourself. Do not. You deserve more recognition than that. Only you can do what you do. You are inimitable.

___________

PILE THREE

Astrology: Aries, Libra, Aquarius

Song: Charmer by Aimee Mann

Vibes: Rainbows, candles, moths, reading, pearl, gold bars, ripped clothes, 555, 88, garden, ghost trees, vampires, higher self, lions mane, alternative beliefs, collecting, coffee, Athena, Artemis, Apollo

Cards: 4 of Swords, The Self, The Cave, Mystical Sisters

I am so proud of you. You have locked away who you are for a long time. You recently started to do some self discovery after you left a person who wasn't good for you behind. I don't think you understand what a huge step you've made. I don't think you really see how what you have done is a huge fucking deal. You stood up for yourself. I think you really water down this accomplishment because you had an ally help you. My dude, even if they helped you. Do not forget you have free will. They did not force you to start exploring yourself and standing up for yourself. You could have ignored their offer of assistance. You totally could have said "Nope, I don't want to." Did you forget that? Please don't water down how well you have done. Acknowledge yourself, please.

You are realizing how wonderful you are. You are finally seeing how kind you are and how considerate you can be. I know leaving that person was painful and it is difficult to reopen the book of you without them in it. It is for the best for both you and them. Again, I am very proud of. Your guides congratulate you as well. It is okay to be guarded for a while. I encourage you to protect your peace while you are exploring more of yourself. I encourage you to ask for help if you need it. Especially because I can still feel your heartache from the loss of someone important to you. If it helps your feel better maybe put some energy to your spirituality. I know it might be tempting to look at old photos and dwell on the past connection. It is okay to do that a little bit while you heal but don't get too caught up in what could've been. It is time to focus on the present and keep your mind on where you want to be and not where you were. Your guides are backing you the whole way through.

__________

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Taurus, Cancer, Pisces

Song: Sunrise by More Plastic and Halvorsen

Vibes: Red, light blue, yellow, grey, white, cats, divine geometry, snakes, science, spills, reality tv, 1111, hearts, wine, falcon, dragon scales, astrology, grand square/trine, Hermes, Zues, Chronos

Cards: 8 of Cups, Kairos, Gnosis, Conjunction

Alright my dear, the time is going to be right soon. You know what to do and you know when to do it. Don't question it. Even if it makes zero sense logically, just trust that inner knowing. Trust that you know what to do and where to go. Trust. You will be leaving something soon. Perhaps a group, a relationship or a club. Again, you WILL know when and how, when the time comes. The stars are aligning for this escape route of yours. I know it is a bummer to leave because you have had such good times where you are at. You worked really hard on everything you built there. I know you are really anxious about hearing this because it is a bit vague but you knew this was coming, darling. You could see the signs way before any of the drama started. When shit hits the fan you need to be ready to dip out. Don't worry about preparation. Don't worry about details. The universe is going to take care of that for you. You just have to watch and listen to your heart.

Yes, you are in the right. No, you haven't done anything wrong. Spirit is sorry that it might be kind of sudden but I really believe you have already seen the red flags in the place you are leaving. The BIG drama that is about to take place isn't supposed to be part of your journey. It is meant for others to figure out on their own. You are not their teacher. You are meant to be their friend and companion and I think they have been parentifying you in a weird way. Spirit doesn't want you getting in the crossfire of everything that is about to hit. It wants you to listen closely to your intuition and trust yourself to know. This part of your journey is supposed to be mostly chill at the moment. Except for the sudden upheaval. That part is probably gonna be rushed. Everything will be just right for you, I promise. Keep your eyes narrowed and your perception high. Someone is sprinting in your direction and you will need to keep pace with them when they arrive. They will be your getaway driver. I believe in you. The universe will protect you. You will be rescued. Good luck, darling.

[soshadysoquiet]

TUA S4 thoughts.

Below, spoilers.

Okay. Lord gonna need some strength to get through this coherently.

Basics first:

The Music: Maybe 2-3 good songs. Dissapointing. Let's talk of a mo about Baby Shark: to me it wasn't funny, the song being such a social media present one in this world really took me out of the show. Yes sure the funnies of parents having to listen to kid music and them being stuck that way but I really wish they'd taken the time to make an original annoying jingle. TUA is usually such a delight for the ears that this hurt me bad! Plus they then kept changing whether the song was on or off, seemed like Diego could control it somewhat, but then why would he turn it back on for them riding into the final battle?

The Dialogue: Felt forced and cheap in places. They can use the word 'fuck' now and seem to therefor have decided they don't need to make the characters have witty insults for each other.

The 'Themes' of the show: Why has my quirky family drama been turned into a 90's romance film. Who asked for this. No.

The "Plot": When your own characters don't care about the plot for the sake of shindigs you think will be more entertaining then you know you fucked up. It made sense the first 2 series them having side quests. Less so in the third. Even less so now. Literally at times they had to say to each other 'oh yeah shouldn't we find Ben?' I'll be here in the corner raisining. Also they came up with these 'stages' for the apocalypse but had one guy throw up, a couple things go boom and then they merge, it was one of the least threatening depictions of apocalypse I've seen - though that could be that it wasn't shot in very interesting ways.

Also side note for why there were so many shots that started upside down and rotated? Like I get if Klaus is upside down, and yeah the umbrellas are inside out, but it (plus the Bennifer monster) gave me too many stranger things vibes.

Now the sub-cast:

Jennifer: Love that for 1/2 the protagonist of the apocalypse she had little to no love put into her character, I legit kept forgetting her and Ben were part of the storyline. I loved that she was birthed from the squid, but why put something eerie and cool like that in and make it have meant nothing? Such a waste.

The villains [Gene, Jean and Abigail/Psy(sp?)]: Whilst I liked the idea of memories infecting the timeline, literally all of these guys was Tell don't Show. And for a series with only six episodes I do not want my time wasted with some side-character villains getting a dance number over the main cast. Despicable. Also there were WAY too many villains here especially if you then also count Reggie as one. Literally make Jennifer be trying to link up with Ben and coercing him (then Viktor could break through to him briefly from past experience of a similar relationship - the symmetry is nice) and have Abbigail be pulling the strings. There were so many side characters of no import that I lost track of the main cast. Hell, make Kenny's Mom be the bad guy I'd have loved that! Also, I like that Abigail was somewhat evil, but then they tried to make her good too? No thank you. Pick a lane not everybody needs redemption.

Special RIP to Diego and Lila's twins that Never Even Got Names 💀 fucking hell that's lazy ass writing.

Now the main cast:

Viktor: He deserved better, why bother to introduce that he's had a girlfriend, slept through the entire town, and owns a bar when you then don't talk about any of it. He's told to 'grow up' it's so specific, what does it mean? Also since last we saw he was the sort of ride or die for his love type (with both Leonard and Sissy) this is a frustrating turn with no explanation. Also his whole fight with Reggie and getting things off his chest arc felt forced and not as well written to me. And his character seemed to have been given zero changes from the last 6 years. I miss when his powers actually had a sound element to them rather than just, Havoc from X Men hands. You're taking the Viktor out of my Viktor.

Allison: We have no explanation of how she and Klaus found each other and fell in together. No info of how she and Reggie parted ways. We only hear that 'Ray left her' and nothing else. She says no one wants her at the party but then seems to know Gracie? Has she talked with Any of them since? Nothing was addressed from the end of last season, or even referred to being addressed in the past. I don't see the point of her new powers, or any of them having slightly off or new powers when then some of them don't? Either way, her rumours are so classic and now she's floating people? I see the link and if they'd been developing new powers over 6 years fine but no. You're taking the Allison out of my Allison.

Luther: Praise be, I did like Luther this season. He mentioned Sloane (shock horror, a love interest from a time gone by being brought up?!?! In TUA!!??) he was cracking me up and was really being Best Boy. Although I felt a lot of his dialogue was flat, and it seemed really out of character for him to start attacking the piñata? I don't think we've ever seen him physically lash out unless angry? It looked to me like 'oh yeah here's another silly gimmick that will be a haha. Diego, sure. Luther, no. They also decided (not surprised but always so disappointed) to make him getting ape-i-fied again humorous and not the soul destroying thing it would be. Also, why was he ape-i-fied??? His ape-ness came from the serum not the marigolds? Generally though, I really did enjoy him this season.

Diego: Love that we're throwing every over used marriage-in-pieces trope in the book at these two. Love that. Especially as they seemed to have sorted out some of their communication issues. I get their trajectories but was so deeply, Deeply bored watching it. Diego was sadly pretty dislikable for the whole season, which was real sad because I had grown to love him. There were some funny moments don't get me wrong, he's got too much personality to be a boring character, but whilst they didn't have to have a perfect marriage it was so dull and in hindsight such an obvious set up for the bleh that was to come. Plus they threw in a 'don't make me turn this car around' type moment to show how 'he's a parent now look wow' but I can't imagine any of the siblings hearing that and not laughing at him.

Lila: Again, marriage and wrong-conclusions and it was so boring. She's such a fun character and she was reduced to 'ooo how can we make her be a cheater and with Five' Why do you even need to do that? I just feel sad about it. And it doesn't help that we Don't Know Two Of Her Kids Names and neither her nor Diego seem to think of them for however long they're on the road, and she mentions them only once in the 7years of subway hell and both of them seem relatively undistressed without them. Sure, parents do need a break, but if you don't care about the kids visibly you know for sure I the audience member ain't gonna. Also why the eye lasers save for again a brief gag? It makes no sense when she then also has mimics abilities?

Claire: Let's give Claire a side note at this point. I do so hate it when shows decide to make children their parent's brains and moral compasses, take little to no time to show any bond between parent and child until the last 2 episodes, and instead choose to spend that time showing us how naturally fractious a relationship they have. Love that, so much. Never seen it before really. I get it's normal, but when ever other part of the show is cookie cutter predictable I don't need this too. Give her an actual personality that isn't "the wise old rebellious teenager"

Ben: Wow. So glad that A) I had to hear a character explain crypto currency for me, so glad we wasted precious time of a 6 episode series on that. B) Ben had changed 0%. C) that he had Even Less input and impact at the end emotionally than in any previous season and this one was About Him! And do you know why? Because D) they basically used star-crossed-lovers-can't-help-ourselves and made him use every creepy stalker OTT moving way too fast line in the books especially when Jennifer at a lot of moments was verbally saying she wasn't into it.. Also why does he talk about her like he's a 12 yr old and, idk, it was a shame to have no real impact from him until the end when he's suddenly scared and pushing Viktor away to save him but we see no connection from him and Viktor previously as to why he'd listen it would make more sense if it had been Klaus or Luther at this point.

Klaus: Now, I know a lot of his storyline this season came from the comic, and sure it's good material, that should probably have been used Throughout the seasons rather than crammed into 1 day. But let's chat for a hot mo: Now I like that we got to see him be nasty rather than the precious uwu Klaus that I've been guilty of perceiving at times, and that we see some of the negative effects of addiction on the family for the first time. Great moments, important. BUT. I'd have felt his rage out at Allison and turn to drugs would have been a lot more impactful if they'd bothered to show him waking up to the sound of being screamed at, barely able to hear his siblings, struggling to focus on them and wanting to drown it out. But we don't get that, the horror of what this means for him. Then we proceed to got through this whole let's have him want to get shot by a drug dealer (don't quite get why - or how Claire knows he's immortal now? did the powers back thing ever come up??) have him kidnapped and forced to prostitute himself, take more drugs (but still use his powers?) Develop a new power though without using the comic's fun quirk that he has to take his shoes off, and then bury him alive. Wow. this guy had plenty going on, but sure. Then -he can save himself, I thought this might become something poignant - he's able to conjure the dog to Go to Allison and lead them there, but no, he just gets rescued again. Gee I wonder what grave he's in Mom? All I don't know Claire, how about the Only One That's Been Dug Up? I thought it was really interesting to see his moments as a teen with Allison, and how he was living with her and thought they handled the worry about death/germs etc thing well tbf. Though also how the hell did he get home from being 13 hrs away and why nobody cared to go with him was pretty low.

Five: Dear lord that moustache was awful and I'm glad they all called it creepy and he had no concept. I despise 2 things they did here: made it canon that he gets romantic with Lila. Made going back into the literal apocalypse that he spent time having flashbacks about barely if at all affect him - it's unsure if his hesitation going back into it the second time was hesitation to go in there, and that's what I hoped they would do, but then, no. no. Please, Pleeaasse don't take away this nice, safe space I had in this nice, safe 'you literally can't sexualise him with anyone it would be so problematic' character and say 'they held out 7 years but yeaaahhh they hook up.' don't see why it was needed. It didn't 'heal' him, it was a plot for conflict but I've got plenty of other conflict plots that can end with Lila and Diego fighting without having to make every damn character have a god damn love interest! I loved their bond before, it was so fun and special to see a male and female not have to fall in love, and they ruined it. And it was for nothing? And they didn't have time to make the 7 years feel like 7 years and it was lazy writing for cheap conflict in my opinion. I hated it, I hate that it's "canon". I don't think I can describe just how awful I found it and unnecessary. I also don't buy that Five would be willing to not drink the marigolds as much as the others, or that there would be a timeline full of given up fives that sit around a diner. It was fun to watch though. And up until they started the montage in the subway and we knew where it was going I was enjoying Five in this season. that boy has had such a shit life and this is how it ends?

I will say that the flashback to them as kids was my favourite part of this series. It's always good to have a little deeper insight into how they interacted as children but I do have some Opinions here too of course: Reggie saying 'you look ridiculous' to Viktor, no, he made their outfits? I felt that was lazy writing when Reggie in the past has laid into Viktor's insecurities much more keenly: 'That outfit is only for your brothers and sisters / we've been over this, you're not special take it off / I will not have you wasting time with frivolity when the Academy has important work to do, leave us." etc. Also I thought there might be something different about why they all forgot their Ben memories. It was brutal yes, which I appreciated, but I can't believe that these guys wouldn't see their father kill their brother and not One of them flip their shit? Idk, it was a little... good and bad I guess.

I think that's it for now, if anyone read this far then well done! I might write a fix it post in a bit for my own entertainment.

[notstilinski]

Kevin Can F Himself Starters !

Taken from season two of the 2021 AMC series, Kevin Can F Himself! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers for the series!

“We’ll fix it together, okay?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve never had a hostage before. I’m not great at it yet.”

“I have no idea. I can’t tell if it’s been twenty minutes or eight hours.”

“Okay. So you’re done trying to kill my best friend. Congrats. You still tried once!”

“How the hell am I dating a cop?”

“Maybe they don’t care when I whine, but he laughs when you bleed.”

“They say ‘we’ all the time like you’re in this together, but, (Name), where are they?”

“They tried to kill them. Can you believe? Bitches tried to kill me, too.”

“Jesus. The nightmare continues.”

“I mean ‘cause you have the general vibe of a sad dog in a cone.”

“I don’t want to be me anymore.”

“I swear to you, I am working on it. Because I really do want you around.”

“I only wish you hit me harder so I could forget all this shit.”

“I’m not in (Name), but the general sense of failure just, sorta, trickles down.”

“Who knew there was a version of death sadder than regular death?”

“It just feels like punishment for dying alone.”

“I’m not like you, I can’t just pretend to like things.”

“You ever think that it’s not that you have a bad sense of direction, you just gotta pay attention to where you’re going?”

“I’ve been squatting in the basement for the past two weeks.”

“The more times you bring up the one nice thing you ever did for me, the less nice it gets.”

“Did a demon just achieve its final, most powerful form in our kitchen?”

“See how I say that with no visible eye roll?”

“It just seems like you’re someone who never had to share.”

“If I play the field, I’ll end up under it.”

“And you don’t like me. It’s fine. People don’t have to like each other.”

“Not when I’ve just been insulted and rejected by a man who I always thought of as my creepy uncle.”

“Yeah, and maybe that stuff was worth it when I thought we might actually be together.”

“Yeah, and I swore I’d never talk to a cop without a lawyer present, but here we are.”

“When I think too much about something, that’s the second I start talking myself out of it, okay?”

“You’re a hazard.”

“Uh, fun is for people with disposable income.”

“I woke up. Another win.”

“Well, they did corner me last night and told me sobriety was the reason I’m not fun anymore.”

“That’s residual priest nervousness, if you ask me.”

“What does the beauty matter if there is no other soul to share it with?”

“Okay. Is that true or is that just what /they/ tell you?”

“I don’t want to have to worry about him, but I can’t stop worrying about him.”

“(Name) will be fine. (Name)’s always fine.”

“There’s a reason that ‘drinking’ rhymes with ‘thinking.’”

“Because you’re just so excited to die?”

“I feel like I dropped something and I feel it next to me. And I’m trying to figure out what it is, and I’m lying there wide awake convinced that if I don’t pick it up, then something terrible is going to happen.”

“Oh, sure, like you’re suddenly concerned about me.”

“Maybe I just don’t want to be alone. And maybe there’s not always a difference.”

“They laughed. They didn’t listen to me at all. No one listens to me.”

“(Name) would have died without you? Maybe you should go home sometimes.”

“I think it’s rearranging deck chairs at the Titanic at this point.”

“I’ll see you for three weeks in February while I work on my tan!”

“I don’t think they realized it. They gave everything up to protect me.”

“And now that I’m left here without them, I don’t feel better off. I just feel… left.”

“I’m not really concerned with protecting (Name). Or anyone like them, really.”

“Well, but you know that we’re not actually better off without you, right?”

“Without me, you will have nothing. Because I will fucking destroy you.”

“I had a terrible, terrible day. And you’re the only person I hang out with now. Is that okay?”

“Let’s die alone together."

[puckpocketed]

caps fan here!

as follower of pld (the few, the proud, the courageous!), i was wondering if you had any thoughts about how he might fit in with our team, assuming he's going to be 1C with Ovi on the left and one of Wilson or Mangiapane on the right, and basically taking the former Kuznetsov/Backstrom spot on the halfwall on PP1. my thinking is that he can easily return to being a 60 point player just by the increase in ice time alone this coming season, and maybe even flirt with 70 if he has a triggerman like big O on his wing.

as someone who knows a hell of a lot more about PLD than i do, is that just wishful thinking because i'm a caps fan? what do you think?

The PLD Post, Part 2: mask-OFF

Hii!! (we are SO brave and SO correct). i am so sorry this took ages to answer, i was trying to decide how serious to be. I will admit, I was hesitant about going mask-off and hitting up the microstats and revealing that i do seriously think he can be better than he was bc that shit is kinda lame ESPECIALLY when defending a clear failhorse. but at this point any rep i have as someone with good opinions must be gone considering how many media scapegoats i've attached myself to (i got a fucking. c.gauthier ask the other day aslkjdkljas) so. mask is coming off. we've hit somewhere between well-considered manifesto and vibe check so . um. enjoy!!

I remain optimistic going from everything I've heard and from what you're saying here! But, big big asterisk. He absolutely needs to take ownership of his lack of engagement. when he speaks in media availability I believe him when he says he wants to change. The will to change is there, idk if it’s possible that any player would be satisfied with their performance being the way his was. There’s a lot that needs to be unpacked about his lack of production, the Character Issues, and what his role might look like going forward. You and any other Caps fan who reads this will have to tell me if the fit is right. Hockey talk below the cut lol!!

So before I start I have to say I know dick all about the Caps except:

You're dragging that old man (Ovechkin) to Gretzky's lawn (record) to set it on fire (break it before he retires)

Everyone is pining away for your very very injured 1C who is also Ovechkin's boybestfriend/perfect set-up guy/work wife

There's. intricate pre-game rituals?

So I'm not sure I can speak to how he will fit with your (our? i AM picking the Caps up fr given every acquisition/draft pick they've made) team with any depth or specificity. also i don't think i'd call myself a PLD expert. like. i just got here !! I haven't been following him since he was drafted or anything!! I have, however, consumed TOO MANY Kings games this past season and I can give you a broad look at what actually happened with them and why I think it didn't work out. I will not be making any overtures about being unbiased. My biases WILL slip through because I think Dubois is a sweetheart and I find the mental exercise of defending him fun <3 I’ll give you stats and observations and I will build a story that runs counter to what the prevailing media narratives say. While I stand by my opinions, they're also just one of many available interpretations of what happened.

character concerns

Everyone will be bringing it up at the first speed bump of the season, the first bad game he has. Please be prepared to have a crisis of faith and also be deeply disappointed in him. god knows I am, like, all the time <3 But... I always want to dig deeper when it comes to dominant narratives, because in following multiple teams I’ve become acutely aware of just how miserably Bad media can be at reporting on teams that aren’t their own.

I hear “Locker room cancer” accusations bandied about and I’ve yet to see anyone produce a primary source for this — podcasters, journalists, even people on nhl broadcasts will throw these words around so casually, assuming they’re correct because everyone knows the story. Some confounding factors in the character narratives arise when you scratch the surface. People who've worked with him speak well enough of him. Todd McLellan called him “misunderstood”, and had nothing bad to say about his character.

Matt Roy, who also just got picked up by the Caps, has recently said he’s a great teammate. MORE proof if you want to hear it directly, Roy went on Dropping The Gloves and had this to say about Dubois (transcript by me):

[on what actually happened] Honestly, I don’t know. I mean if you asked him he would say he had a down year. But it’s nothing like — I feel like the media paints this picture of him, and to me it couldn’t be further from the truth, you know. He’s a great teammate, he’s a great locker room guy, he gets along with everybody. So, in terms of all that I don’t know where the media is getting all this stuff. If I hated the guy I probably wouldn’t have come to Washington. He’s one of my friends on the team and I really think he’s going to have a bounce back year. I think he’s really going to be good for the team.

Matt Roy signed with the Caps of his own free will as an RD, a contested free agent in a sparse market, knowing Dubois was already here. He could’ve gone to plenty of different places. Why the hell would Roy sign here long-term, clearly wanting to play and win, if Dubois was as disliked as some pundits would have us believe??? Credible reports (and not just speculation) point to PLD’s other teammates liking him!! 

And here’s some propaganda; I direct you to this extremely sweet video where he gets asked about assisting on Akil Thomas' first NHL goal (and a bunch of other first NHL goals). He is so, so genuinely happy for Akil, who battled through injuries that set back his development for years. Just LOOK at his smile!! He can’t hold it back. (Others have said this but it looks like a little v. Like :> !!!! HELLO !!)

How does all of this happen when, supposedly, he’s a low-character asshole and a “locker room cancer”? It doesn’t line up for me.

On the other hand, I have seen Dubois cruise. He really can’t seem to bounce back from a poor start, and if you were just looking from the outside in, the scoresheet this year reflects this. The critique is fair; I’ve turned this over in my head enough times. there are less physically gifted, less skilled players, who are working so hard to stay in this league, and Dubois’ poor showing does feel somewhat like, idk, something I’d be mad about usually.

Here comes the “but”. Call this next bit the narrative section, because I’m showing my ass here: I think Dubois gets a lot of scrutiny because of his infamous Shift, which went a specific kind of viral, under the exact right conditions, and it has just. defined his career. And okay… I am not denying that the shift happened, but plenty of guys in this league have taken shifts off. come on. the season is long and they're only human. I’m not excusing it either! It was bad and he deserved his benching. Ideally, he one day becomes a player who always puts effort in. Working hard is one of my favourite traits in any player, and usually this would be enough for me to dismiss him as not worth being invested in.

and yet…. the reactions to his floundering performance feel so much like they’re about expectations as seen through the lens of The Shift. They’re calibrated differently because he went 3rd overall, and he's got this big body, the speed, the skill — it's the fact that he's got the tools and seemingly squanders them. All of this is amplified by the contract he's sitting on and his run of short-term stays on teams. Does he get this much scrutiny if he went in the 2nd or 3rd round? Does he catch this much heat for his low energy performance if that one shift clip hadn’t done all that damage? We’ll never know obviously but . I do wonder.

Final word on the character stuff is that we don’t know what truly went on in those locker rooms and i don't want to give more air time to baseless speculation. What we can examine is the hockey. The hockey tells the truth <3

the 23-24 la kings

Assuming the plan is to give PLD a look at 1/2C while he’s on the Caps, I think he’s a complementary type of player. The way he is right now, I don't think he can drive his own line or pull people up. He works with the calibre of lineys he's got and will produce the expected outcome. That sounds so obvious, but what I’m saying is I don’t think he’s capable of miracles like the best playmakers in the league, he's not about to make your guys look 15 years younger. In this vein, I look at his many first NHL goal assists as a symptom of what kind of linemates he was being paired with all season, and how unstable the situation was. His drop in point production IS more complicated than "he's just a piece of shit". From this article, the best summary I've seen of the Situation PLD was in:

LA acquired a player who had been a top-six center (and at times, winger) his entire career playing with established NHL talent. Yet after investing multiple assets to acquire Dubois and sign him to a significant contract, the team decided to put him in a third-line role where his most common linemate was a first-year NHL player who wasn’t expected to be on the roster in Alex Laferriere. Those two had a revolving door of wingers throughout the season. Moreover, Dubois’ most common on-ice teammates after Laferriere at 5-on-5 this season were Matt Roy and Andreas Englund. Gee, I wonder why he didn’t produce?

Context about Roy and Englund: Roy is a quiet but capable d-man who is defensively geared with a bit of offensive upside (j'adore. does things the right way and is very responsible and good. will throw hits but doesn't chase them or headhunt. I think playing away from the Kings’ more passive system will unlock more of his offensive potential. Matt Roy you will be SO good for the Caps I truly believe mwah mwah); and Englund is a leg weight/goon who, going by every single stat I can pull out, makes his d-partners Worse (with affection <3). Point here is neither of them being on the ice was particularly conducive to a lot of scoring chances.

As I said in my previous post, I think Dubois absolutely needs finishers. At some point there was hype around his shot but I didn't see much of that at all on lak? Eye test says: he was unwilling to shoot, and when he did shoot it felt like there was low/no commitment, no power behind it. Comments on his shooting called him “too deferential” at different turns. That’s just an insulting way to say a guy likes to pass and I truly think it circles back to the expectations thing. Would there be anything wrong with him not being much of a shooter this past season if he was another player? (Can't we just say he passed a lot this season without bringing value judgement into it? leave my failhorse ALONE!!!! like must a man score goals ,can't he be very very sweet and happy for the rookies he assisted ? wailing about it forever.)

More fun stats from that same article:

#1 on lak for passes that led to high-danger scoring chances, and scoring chances in general <- again, not a miracle worker. did not have finishers who could capitalise on these chances. its so fucked up what they did to my failwife

one of the best on lak in actually carrying the puck into the o-zone. (another reason i quite liked watching him!! transition forwards my BELOVED) everything I've ever observed about him off the cuff holds true here: he draws penalties this way, because he's fast and when he's locked in he is pretty good for controlled zone entries <3

Dubois had a career high in even-strength assists per 60, this is all in spite of his weird linemate situation and his reduced TOI and the power play mess (more on this later). he might have been deferring, but I truly think the lack of stability + good finishers, and ice time held him back from being more productive.

jim hiller

Building off that last point: even worse on the stability front, which I did allude to in the initial PLD Post, was what happened when Jim Hiller took over. You must understand one of the first clues that we were working with a different animal of a head coach is he was NOT afraid to line shuffle, and shortly after he found short-term success with that, they started running 11 forwards and 7 defensemen (you can see where it started precisely if you scroll back in lak lb because you'll find ME yelling about it LMAO). This shortened forward bench resulted in mid-game line shuffling, as in it was uncertain as to who they would be playing with from shift to shift. Hiller is on record saying he thinks it was beneficial, per this article:

It’s all about getting his deep forward corps engaged in the game. That’s sometimes difficult if you’re running four full lines and there are penalty kill or power play opportunities that alter the flow of the lines. Especially for the group of forwards who don’t kill penalties – think Kevin Fiala, Viktor Arvidsson, Quinton Byfield, Pierre-Luc Dubois – it’s an opportunity to get them extra shifts and engage in the game. “Some of our other players who don’t penalty kill, you know they can lose the flow of the game, so they enjoy it more I know,” Hiller said of having 11 forwards in action. “We’ve talked about it a lot. We really just think for our team, the way it is right now, that gives us an advantage getting those players more ice time.”

(and ok sorry to go off about my gripes with how the kings are run but .They were doing this into playoffs. This article was written during playoffs. god. CARL GRUNDSTROM, WHO HAS NEVER NOT PLAYED HARD, PLAYED 25 SECONDS IN GAME 2. all this while they were trying to get people 'engaged'. Idk. Maybe it did work for some players. I wasn’t behind that bench. But sitting one of your most energetic and committed forwards during a series in which you’re trying to come back from being down several games was a CHOICE!!!! also like what if you didn't double-shift QB. what then. And we all know how that series ended. lak coaching/management i am beating you with a pillowcase stuffed with bricks . <3)

Much was made of the Hiller takeover. I liked it at the time. In his first couple of media availabilities post-TM, Hiller emphasised bringing back "fun" to the game for many of the players who were slumping — and a reportedly tense locker room during the big skid that lost McLellan his job. It was all very Ted Lasso of him. Hiller also introduced a new way to rate Dubois for his performance every night, separate from the scoresheet. I made jokes about PLD's very special star-chart, everyone who knew about it was making jokes about it. This merit system was tailored towards communicating with Dubois what he did and didn't do well, and while no one ever went into depth about it we do know a few things:

It measured things outside of +/-, goals and assists, and was likely a score out of 5 per metric.

One of the metrics was about hits/physicality, another one was likely ‘compete’ levels.

He alluded to being measured on penalties drawn?? Or something??

Anyway it sort of … worked?? The change in Dubois was pretty immediate, the moment he was given some clear direction to work in. He played some of his BEST games of the year in the wake of this change. He got involved physically, he was not losing steam, he was drawing tons of penalties because he’s huge and fast and has good hands and IF he puts his mind to it he can truly be a transition monster.

CUE THE LINE SHUFFLING… imo, much of the progress made seemed to be lost, and the rest is history.

NOT saying Dubois is free of fault here. Needing that extra motivation to get physically involved is kinda wild, and I understand why for some people it’s a bridge too far. EYE am here for the laffs though and it's really funny that the communication came in the form of super special individualised performance evaluations/a glorified sticker chart. This is why he’s my temperamental desert flower. Wilting violet. Soggy kitten. <3 and for the record I truly don’t think I’d care if he put up 40 points per szn for the rest of his career. I don’t care because he’s a sweetie and the Bit i do when defending him is too funny. I don’t think I’d care if everyone was right about him — I just don’t actually think they are.

the power play problem

So okay, as per part 1 (my last email <3) we know Dubois thrives net front. It’s where he scored a bunch of his goals on the Jets. Every stat and the eye test supports this. So how come Lak had him stationed on the half wall doing jackshit, if he was on the power play at all?? I will admit I drove myself half crazy studying power play structures and watching LA Kings games back before coming up with a garbled, half-formed idea about how LA runs their PP. I was going to attempt to explain it here — had to do with Kevin Fiala and Dubois being lefties and how that's just an awkward passing sitch — but it turns out more than one person has had this thought and MAN I love being validated by actual hockey people. I fully thought i was making shit up in my head for a good week or two, and was seriously considering scrapping this portion . but it’s SO important for contextualising the production drop, so here goes !!

As early as September 2023 there was a story published about PLD’s role on PP1 — a place where he certainly should’ve belonged as a top-6 guy with plenty of ppg’s under his belt. From this article, which explains the issue very very neatly, and much more eloquently than I could ever hope to:

The addition of Pierre-Luc Dubois was a big one this summer; at first glance, he should be a great addition to the power play. But when digging deeper, the Kings might struggle to fit him onto the top unit. Dubois played mostly as the net front player for the Winnipeg Jets last season, the role Gabriel Vilardi often played for the Kings last season. So, it’s an easy one-to-one switch in that spot, right? Not necessarily. Dubois has all the talents to be an effective net-front player. He has the size and strength to battle in front, with the skill to effectively pop down low and create chances. However, his handedness is a big problem for this role. The Kings run their power play primarily on the left side with Kevin Fiala — Anze Kopitar when Fiala is hurt — which necessitates a right shot down low. When a right shot player pops out on the left side, there’s an easy passing angle for the half-wall player and more options for the player down low. Quick passing is key for a successful power and a left-shot can’t move the puck quick enough down low. They would have to either move too far into the corner or take the extra second to step out from and open up their body to create an effective passing angle. Time that would slow the power play down too much and allow the opposition penalty kill to get back into position. There’s also minimal shot threat from a lefty down low. We saw both Vilardi and Viktor Arvidsson frequently take the pass down low and quickly turn it into a shooting opportunity, something a left shot wouldn’t be able to do.

It then goes on to suggest 2 solutions that aren’t appealing at all:

Flip the power play entirely to accommodate Dubois net front. Not great as they dont have the players for that, and if they tried it they’d be hamstringing Adrian Kempe’s one-timer.

PLD on the bumper position. This one’s hard to swallow because that displaces Kopitar to PP2, there’s his position as captain and the optics of moving him off his spot.

In this article it is once again suggested that LA MUST flip their power play and figure out how to get PLD net front. In this article they point out how useless he was playing on the wall down the stretch, and how the only reason he seemed to be able to produce something was because he’d taken Kopitar’s spot in his absence. This article calls to attention Dubois’ worlds performance, where team Canada utilised him net front.

Big picture, the Fit

Do we see the problem here yet? It’s not the flat narrative I was sold by the national media, random assholes on twitter, and podcasters who don’t actually watch Kings matches!!!! Do we see how weird and messy and complicated it is, beyond “hey he’s just a sack of shit who isn’t trying hard enough”. Rob Blake himself has come out and admitted that they didn’t put Dubois in a position to succeed. And absolutely there was effort required on his end — a different player might have sucked it up and adapted to circumstances, a different player might never have needed that extra bit of communication, a straight up better player might have dragged his less skilled lineys up to a higher level. But the problem has always been two-fold: LA was trying to coach and manage a completely different player to the one they had in front of them and expecting good results; and Dubois was unable to keep competing with all he had in the face of that. I think both parties are at fault here. And I think, given the chance and the right circumstances, Dubois can hit 60 points again.

Okay, circling back to the big question of Fit. Will he be able to work with Ovechkin? Hard to think he could fail with one of hockey’s best goal scorers on his wing, if he does get a look at 1C. People who know the Caps better than I do, does this sound workable? Is Dubois going to be too difficult of a nut to crack for your coach? Your locker room?

And, of course, the power play issue. Maybe Dubois learns to be better on the half wall! Idk!! Maybe it was a matter of coaching and he thrives in Washington running your PP1 from there. For my money… I like him better playing net front or bumper. Do the Caps have the bodies to accommodate this? I did ask someone familiar with the Caps PP to explain it to me so I could try and figure this out but ouuuugh. My head is spinning. Someone smarter than me please jump in. I am TIRED . We don’t know what it will look like, what they’re planning to do with Dubois on the power play. You guys probably have a better idea about what’s possible than I do <3

Conclusion?

PLD is fast, big, a passing threat and a formidable net front presence when he’s given the opportunity and playing his A-game. As far as I can tell, his B-game is garbage </3 His poor performance is more complicated than people think and I’m pretty sure only the LA Kings beat reporters + the 12 kings fans on twitter know this. Most of them still dislike PLD anyway bc his low motor. I don’t blame them, I’m just more inclined to be forgiving because I love redemption arcs and I think he’s a good person. i would love to be wrong about his low-effort B-game LMAO but im trying to be realistic here. I want him to fit in and be embraced by the Caps so bad <3 Your coach sounds like he wants to help PLD succeed and is up for the challenge. The vibes from my friends who follow the Caps are always good, I’ve read through various tags and it sounds like a place that will take him in whether he likes it or not. I might be stupid but I believe in him !!! and I’ve laid out all the hockey bullshit for you to the best of my ability. Given all of this… do you think he’ll do well?

[toomuchracket]

Having had flatmate matty help her pick out clothes now I can't help but think about him having to give his honest opinion on what she should wear on a date, watching her head out the door in his fave outfit 😔

this is genius but also evil as fuck. my god. him coming back from tour desperate to see you and hold you and just be with you (if he had any sense, though, he'd tell you how he really feels. but alas), and tbf you have a couple of days of that... before you tentatively come into his room one friday morning with two outfits in your arms like "please help me pick between these. i need to know which you like better", and he obliges, of course, and then asks "what for, darling?" and is SHATTERED when your face lights up and you say "well, finally, after what seems like an age of only hookups... i've been asked out on a date". he can't speak because he's so upset, which you seem to take as bewilderment; your face falls a bit and you murmur "well, i didn't think me being asked out would be so shocking that it leaves you speechless, matty. didn't think it was such an impossible notion, but whatever", and he has to force himself to be like "no, it's good, darling - great. sorry. s'pose i'm still jet lagged, brain isn't working right. but yeah, it's... good" because he absolutely doesn't want to upset you, and you perk up a bit like "oh. thanks. um, i know we usually have dinner together on fridays, but i obviously won't be here for that. don't really know if i'll be home at all, i really am not sure, but yeah. feel free to like. have people over. not that you need my permission, but... the flat will be free. just don't let anyone in my room or anything". matty just nods, and gives you a thumbs up, and tries his best not to cry while you're getting ready, and hugs you goodbye with a "you look beautiful. really" when you ask him if you look alright (very amylaurie, you know the vibes), and he DOES scroll through his contacts with the intention of maybe texting an old hookup to come over as distraction, but honestly the thought of that and the thought of you being romanced by someone and sleeping with them just makes him feel sick - instead, he just sticks on some midwest emo and goes to bed and cries himself to a really early night's sleep. it's fitful, though, and he's awoken just before 10pm by you texting "hey. not really having a good time so i'm on the bus home. don't do the bottom lock pls x"; naturally, he perks up with an enthusiasm that sickens him, and texts back like "alright. just me here btw. i would've picked u up, yk x" before wandering into the living room and faffing about with an acoustic while he waits for you to come home. despite his relief that the date didn't go well, his heart breaks at how dejected you look when you shuffle into the room and tell him about how boring a time you had, but it heals at the way you automatically curl into him as you talk and then say "wish i'd just stayed here with you, matty. i like it best". because yeah sure you went on the date but it's HIM you wish you were doing that with, him you want to be romanced by and hold hands with in the street and kiss at red lights and whatnot. that's why you haven't worn the outfit he liked best when you went shopping, didn't even consider it for tonight even though it's your favourite and would've looked great - you only want to wear that one if it's on a date with him. nobody else. god, the two of you... stupid little idiot babies <3

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home thoughts!!!

Love me some good ol’ treks and I know this is the one with the whales (which reminds me of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy)

Warning for spoiling the whole movie (don’t cry over spoiled movie if you don’t have to! Go watch it for yourself!)

Let’s get going:

- A LEONARD NIMOY FILM ?!?

- okay Harve Bennett. I see you in the credits.

- I like the Saratoga crew. Too bad they’re probably gonna die immediately

- HIII SAREK!!! God he’s hot I hate him so much

- “Personal bias! His son was saved by Kirk.” His son is also married to Kirk so…

- McCoy got to choose the name of the ship :))

- Kirk’s wearing the same shirt.. oh wait they all are nvm

- Spock on a rock

- Hi Amanda!

- “Spock, the retraining of your mind has been in the Vulcan way so you may not understand feelings, but as my son, you have them.”

- Amanda trying to tell Spock that his friends care about him so much that they go against what is logical and it mirrors how in journey to babel Spock was not willing to sacrifice the good of the many (the ship) for the good of the one (his father) so I’m wondering if they will have an arc for him realizing that sometimes you want the one and not the many

- I like the problems they keep having with projectors/videos. Or not exactly problems but in the beginning they had to ask multiple times for the video to stop playing and here they are just talking over the transmission in the background. It adds a sense of confusion and havoc that I think makes it delightfully more realistic

- The Bird of Prey is such a beautiful design

- “I did not wish to be shot down on the way to our own funeral.” lol nice Chekov

- Nooo Spock and Saavik don’t have the mentor/mentee vibes anymore :(((

- Kirk really wants Spock to call him Jim… he misses his husband :(

- Bones is right. And then he leaves Kirk with the “That’s what I thought.” And the entire bridge crew is just like ‘don’t engage, look away, the husbands are fighting but just don’t look.’

- The copy pasted Saavik and Amanda

- “Hi. Busy?” McCoy sliding over to Spock

- McCoy just say you’re happy he’s back. He misses his verbal sparring buddy omg

- “Forgive me, Doctor, I’m receiving a number of distress calls.” McCoy is SHOCKED like, ‘did he just purposely reject me???’ I’m crying

- sad! Your husband died and now he doesn’t want to fight with you!!

- hi bitch! (It’s Sarek)

- THEY PUT EYELINER ON CHEKOV!

- THE PROBE SOUNDS LIKE WHALES ???

- so the transmission is for whales. That’s cool.

- Uhura would make a sick DJ. She’s remixing the whale sounds

- “Bones, you stay here.” “No way. Somebody’s got to keep an eye on him.” He’s trying to look out for his husbands

- love sci fi that is like ‘sea creatures interacting with space hmmm yess I think it will’ cause if you think about it, there’s a lot of sea that is unexplored just like space (yeah I’m talking about HGttG again)

- SPOCK SAYS SAVE THE FUCKING WHALES

- McCoy DOES NOT want them to travel back in time

- HII CHAPEL HIIII

- The chaos in the control room with someone on the screen talking over everyone else in the room… perfection

- Sometimes Kirk sounds like Seth Macfarlane

- “You really gonna try time travel in this rust bucket?” “We’ve done it before.” “Sure. Slingshot around the sun, pick up enough speed and you’re in time warp. If you don’t, you’re fried.” “You prefer to do nothing?” “I prefer a dose of common sense. You’re proposing that we go backwards in time, find humpback whales, then bring them froward in time, drop them off, and hope to hell they tell this probe what to go do with itself.” “That’s the general idea.” “Well, that’s crazy.” “You have a better idea? Now’s the time.” Yep. That summarizes it better than I could ever. How McCoy stays married to this man is a mystery

- The command base hears that Kirk is going to time travel and PANICS

- “May fortune favour the foolish.” Good Kirk line

- The ship is actively falling apart

- They’re back in time!

- Sulu lore! he was born in sanfransico or however you spell it

- McCoy trying not to laugh at Spock’s little bandana. Kirk smiles for a second and then remembers himself

- THEYRE IN THE WILD! SET LOSE! Who let them roam free?!

- Winchell’s Donut House. Wonder if that’s still open. Or real. Damn, I want donuts.

- Kirk almost getting run over “Well a double dumbass on you!” And then he throws up his hands omg I love him

- They’re all slaying

- “The rest of you, break up. You look like a cadet review.” They’re all kinda lost tho

- Spock in the pawn shop is looking like, ‘those were a birthday present from our husband. Why would you give them away :(‘

- Kirk and his powerful skills of deduction. He won’t let Spock just infodump :(

- They’re all really good looking.

- UHURA AND CHEKOV TEAM UP! Something I didn’t know I needed (I need it)

- NO LITTLE RUSSIAN BOY! Don’t ask for directions from a cop to a nuclear weapons base in the 1980s!

- SPOCK NERVE PINCHING THE PUNK ON THE BUS LOL

- “No one pays attention to you unless you swear every other word.” WELL. Okay. I’m not offended. At all.

- Spock frowning at the whales dying on the screen

- “To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.” There’s a lot of times you think ‘Vulcans can be emotionless which could equal cruelty’ but looking at this, humans with emotions turn out more cruel because that is an emotion. We want and are greedy. It’s surprising that Vulcans are friends with humans because of just how much illogical carnage we have wrought. Anyway.

- Hey Jim. Where’s Spock?

- Kirk becoming more and more worried that he can’t find Spock. And then he turns around AND HES IN THE TANK.. this is why McCoy wants to come along. Jim cannot watch him well enough

- Spock’s ass can’t believe he went in there to mind meld with the whales

- Sopping wet Spock

- “The hell they did.” SPOCK SWEAR OMG

- “Can’t you remember?” “The hell I can’t.” I love him so much, he’s being a little shit, this is on purpose. I think writers should let him say hell and other expletives more often

- “Oh come on, Bob! I don’t know about you, but my compassion for someone is not limited to my estimate of their intelligence.” DID YALL IN THE BACK HEAR THIS???

- Uhura and Chekov on the beach with the seagulls

- Gillian’s got a “I ❤️ whales” sticker on her truck. I love her.

- “I think he did a little to much LDS.” I think Kirk meant to say Spock does LSD? I’m assuming?

- This lady just picked up two husbands trying to save the whales.. that’s very lucky for her

- “Are you sure it isn’t time for a colourful metaphor.” LET SPOCK SAY FUCK

- “You guys like Italian?” Spock and Kirk proceeding to fight by saying no and yes repeatedly is my favourite

- They’re just letting Scotty and McCoy roam around???

- I love McCoy and Scotty improvising together, and Scotty going off and getting upset

- “May my assistant join us?” “Don’t bury yourself in the part.”

- Sulu just gets to nerd out about helicopters

- McCoy sitting on any and all surfaces like it’s a chair. Scotty joining him.

- McCoy handing Scotty the mouse like he’s so proud of himself

- McCoy’s got his ✨dazzling✨ eyes on rn

- “We’d be altering the future.” “Well, how do you know he didn’t invent the thing.” Scotty. That’s not how time travel works.

- So basically McCoy gets Jim and Spock out of trouble but gets into trouble when he’s with Scotty

- THEYRE JUST LEAVING SPOCK IN THE PARK oh wait he’s going to the ship

- Get yourself a partner who would cry over whales

- “I’m from Iowa, I only work in outer space.” This man smh

- Oh no. Get Chekov out of there. Holy shit.

- “Must be the radiation.” He proceeds to throw the phaser at the guy and then runs out the door

- Gillian not afraid to slap Bob over whales

- Did- did Sulu steal a helicopter? Yes. Yes he did.

- Gillian sees Spock with his ears and eyebrows and she’s like ‘yeah makes sense’

- “Admiral, may I suggest that Dr. McCoy is correct?” Spock agrees with McCoy. 208 dead, 15 injured

- Gillian is surrounded by the polycule. She just wants her whales to be safe.

- McCoy is literally the best. He saw this person suffering and then immediately helped

- “Uh, excuse me, we’ll take that.” They steal the gurney and Gillian immediately hops onto it. I love her.

- “This woman has immediate postprandial upper abdominal distension.” “What did you say she’s got?” “Cramps” McCoy saw the security and went ‘Yep they’re stupid’ he didn’t even bother with a proper lie

- In an argument between a 20th century doctor and McCoy, I would bet McCoy any and every time

- I love when McCoy is just.. appalled at old medicine

- Chekov slowly regaining awareness and he lifts his head only for Kirk to push his face down with a, ‘not now, Pavel.’

- I like how the crew right now have been using Chekov’s first name and are protective of him.

- Sulu immediately being there to help Chekov get back on the ship 🥺🥺🥺

- This woman is so into whales that she would time travel for them

- Is McCoy sitting on the console and leaning over it to talk to talk to Spock? Yes, yes he is.

- “Well, then you’re just gonna have to take your best shot.” “Best shot?” “Guess, Spock.” “Guessing is not in my nature, Doctor.” “Well, nobody’s perfect.” He lets that last line drawl and then stares at Spock for a little too long. That’s flirting.

- That was the most intense countdown. I felt like something might happen to the whales within those ten seconds and I was worried

- “So I will make a… guess.” McCoy is rubbing off on Spock

- “No, Spock. He [Kirk] means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people’s facts.” Hehe

- She was so happy just staring at her whales but then Kirk goes and interrupts that

- “I belong here, I am a whale biologist.” They are so lucky that they ran into someone THIS interested in whales

- McCoy resists the urge to just look at Spock when they’re travelling back to their time

- I like how there’s a hatch leading outside on the bridge… of a spaceship.

- forgot how hot Kirk’s poofy sleeves are

- They have a scene where everyone just gets absolutely drenched

- I’m so glad they didn’t have subtitles for the whales and probes. It’s more realistic for the universe. Starfleet doesn’t know what they’re saying, the crew doesn’t know what they’re saying, we shouldn’t know what they’re saying. It’s not how the universe works.

- They’re cheering for whales. I love when people cheer for things

- They’re all playing in the water omg this is adorable

- hi bitch (Sarek)

- Jim walks in with McCoy right behind him and Spock goes to join them from where he’s sitting

- I love Scotty’s little moustache it’s so :<

- McCoy is NOT listening, he’s got like nyan cat theme playing in his head

- THEY GAVE HIM COMMAND OF A STARSHIP FOR DISOBEYING ORDERS?!?

- I think McCoy should run up to Spock and Kirk and get them to kiss here

- Scott and Sulu arguing over which ship they think they’ll get <3

- McCoy is leaning so sluttily on the new bridge

The credits just showing pictures of each of the cast is adorable

See ya on the flip flop

Masterpost

[thehistoriangirl]

my mexican twin.... I DEMAND MORE LATINX READER X VIKTOR!! (politely) i think its just fun to see representation even in lil silly fics hehe

TWINSIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I SUMMON YOU!!!!!

For now I have some headcanons I would love to write into fics but I haven't had the inspiration to do it as prettily as I wish to 😭😭 I hope you like them 💛💛💛

Okay so the headcanons:

Viktor x Latinx gn!Reader (SFW)

TW: These are Mexican-related (bc I'm Mexican lol), but some can apply to different Latin cultures! :3

He DEFS gains a few pounds once you two start dating

Like either because YOU feed him (sometimes against his will bc he's """soooooo busy""" (shoving him a torta de milanesa during his lunchtime)

Or because YOUR FAMILY feeds him once you present him over. Imagine your cool grandma/cool aunt inspecting it with 😱😱😱😱 faces because MY MAN IS SO SCRUNKLY. It's a family's duty to up some pounds on those bones

And he enjoys to be being pampered you know, I imagine him like the classic "Oh but I'm full already 🥺" when you put another bowl full of pozole in front of him, and then he says he's only eating it for peer pressure around the table--but that's. a LIE!!!!

Yall can't tell me he doesn't get a round bump after a particularly yummy party. He's like starting to doze off on the table like a baby after eating his fourth tamal during your cousin's XV años.

Even if at night he's like 🥺🥺🥺 "my love my tummy hurts" (for the spice, idk why i headcanon he can get gastritis really easily lkfhjdklfjf) and here it goes the milk remedy winkwink

Also pan de dulce 👀👀👀 he falls in love with pan de dulce istg, and he can eat it with milk????? sign him the fuck up. The same with pastel de tres leches

Also he starts to mumble songs in bad Spanish--an idea @apuwu had talked with me over Discord before JKDJHDFJKFJH. My man is just vibing without knowing the grisly lyrics behind a seemingly happy tune

But you prefer not to tell him because he just looks so adorable mumbling it mindlessly while working <3333

He doesn't dance much bc his legs hurt if he keeps putting pressure on it during too long, but you can definitely coarse him into dancing one or two.

Otherwise he just likes to watch you dance, even if you don't really know how to/are a lil bit clumsy. You look very happy dancing with your family/friends that he gets smitten all over again

He's kinda scarred for life once he saw kids breaking a piñata during one of your nephews' birthdays & un bolo during a baptism (where the hosts throw money so the guests could pick it up) (iykyk)

He started to watch telenovelas by mistake. Like maybe you were watching one or just putting it like white background noise while doing something else.

And at first he was like 🙄🙄🙄 "if the characters would do X thing or Z, this problem would be easily resolved/this problem wouldn't exist", and you tell him that it is for the 💥d r a m a💥

As it happened to the best of us when you're hanging out in the living room and your mom is watching a telenovela---Viktor just gets HOOKED. He doesn't know when it happened or how but he is invested

Sometimes you arrive home from a date with your friends and find Viktor and Jayce watching a telenovela on the couch

[For context, in my lil derange mind, in a contemporary AU Jayce is Latino. No i will not elaborate thank you]

He helps you make the Día de Muertos ofrenda <3333 he just loves to gets all craftsty and he's so interested about the concept that he even brings a photos of his passed family members. May even cook something they liked to put it in there alongisde yours :3

For now that's all! I hope to make some short fics with these soon! Like during Independence's Day KDJFDJKFJHF <3

[mybedroomceilingsbored]

spewing whatever shit pops into my head for all my fav tma characters

ALRIGHT babes a whole entire six people wanted to see my opinions on characters so far (i just finished #103), but i don't rlly have a direction to take with this. i was thinking about giving them ratings but idek what i'd rate them ON lmao. SO!

Jon-ohoho he's so DRY and so FUNNY and somebody needs to bitch slap this man. how am i supposed to get a goofy workplace drama if he's so genre-aware?? i don't like him THAT much, but honestly the whole show would be a lot more boring without his paranoia. also was his skin rlly so bad that it took an entire MONTH to get him thoroughly moisturized? ur body is a temple, johnny boy :(

Martin-omg he's such a bean. i relate to this man a lil too much for comfort-he's bullied waaay too much by absolutely everyone in this podcast. if he reads too many statements and turns into another jon or smth i'll SWIM to the uk specifically to yell at the writers, this man is to be PROTECTED at all costs! also he SOUNDS like a fucking redhead. you can hear it in his voice. and it shows very clearly in his poetry.

Tim-hehehe ICON. s1 finale tim was honestly the greatest thing ever, the way he's changed is absolutely breaking my heart. prancing into the office during a worm attack and immediately sitting down on 20 cans of CO2 sounds EXACTLY like smth i'd do, honestly props to him for staying so calm during the whole thing. and the fact that he's fucking all these cops for information is just *chef's kiss* tbh, his entire EXISTENCE is a power move. he's got a statement coming up and i'm kinda terrified. he's been so.. depressingly realistic lately and i'm scared for him :(

Sasha/Not Sasha-sasha seemed so sweet, i wish i'd gotten to know her better before the switch! all i remember from her first vocal appearance is staring into space afterwards, trying to remember how i used to pronounce 'calliope'. i feel like her death/switch didn't hold as much gravity as it should've-i rlly wish i'd seen more of her! also, the way not sasha was the LEAST suspicious to jon-that monster's got acting CHOPS. we need her in the local theater group, HOW TF can anyone be that convincing?!?!?!

Monster Pig-last statement i listened to, so it's VERY fresh in my mind lmao. this pig deserves DEATH. i don't fucking CARE if it's "friendly", it ATE a FUCKING CLOWN. KILL ITTTTT. i am a VEGETARIAN

Michael-by FAR my favorite, the best character i've come across in quite a while, god's favorite princess <3 i adore this wonky man, he's such a legend. PEAK laugh. and he's so chaotic lmao!!! (no he absolutely did not die, what are you talking about???? that didn't happen. or Michael Shelley's tragic backstory that had me literally crying over a gd podcast, no way. i'm in DEEP denial) i adore how his first vocal appearance was just strutting into Jon's office, kidnapping a realtor, monologuing abt his identity issues, stabbing the archivist, and sashaying away. SUCH a funky dude, i adore him

Elias-he gives me bitter oldest kid vibes, this man needs therapy. what a kooky asshat, stop peeping on people.

Jude-hot in every way possible. sorry but it's TRUE. a rlly bad liar tho. not only does she speak in fucking italics, but you can tell she's giggling kicking her feet twisting her short little hairs as she's trying to get jon to shake her hand. bitch, you're sexy and you know it, SPEAK UP!!

Wormy Jane-an icon, honestly. the whole EMBODIMENT of ick. not to mention if i actually saw this woman i'd lose my SHIT, she terrifies the bejeezus outta me. her statement was what made me (sorta) stop picking at my face (for a little bit at least). i honestly wonder what she was on that made her stick her whole fucking arm in a HAUNTED WASP'S NEST. it's also so hilarious that she was camped outside Martin's apartment for WEEKS and nobody rlly questioned it-this woman is on a MISSION. slay, ick queen.

Melanie-this woman has more balls than anyone else on this damn podcast (ahem, elias mostly). we stan a girlboss with a knife-the way she was just planning to JUMP him??? melanie's 100% RIPPED, she SOUNDS like a gym rat i think. i wanna see her beat the shit outta all these ghosts :3

You're A Lighter-idk how to spell his actual name and i'm too lazy to look it up, so this is what y'all're getting. the snotty old library dude with such a kooky voice, all i could think of when i first heard him was the Kool-Aid man lmaoo. and he needs to take better care of his assistants!! EXTREMELY unsustainable :( he's like a bowerbird collecting all the shiny homicidal books.

Helen-she ATE my babygirl??!!!!?!?!!?! COMPLETELY unacceptable. i won't deny the girl's got guts for just.. chilling in Michael's creepy hallways, but COUGH UP THE CREEPY BLOND for christ's sake.

Trevor Herbert-10/10 honestly. i LOVED his statements, the vampires are SO CRAZY CREEPY and i love how he just kinda fucks around? does some light stalking? and usually ends up with a bunch of dead monsters! in essence, he looked an eldritch horror in the face, called it a slur, and whacked it with a stick. legend.

[heyheydidjaknow]

Heyo it’s Bug!

I love those Anon posts with L being observant and learning every little thing about s/o, but what if they did the same to him? I’m in a 5 year relationship, and for a while I had something in my notes app where I’d write down his preferences, likes/dislikes, quirks, etc. (it initially started as a way to help with holiday shopping but evolved into more). I just think returning the favor and pleasantly surprising L when you remember little tidbits about him would make him happy.

When you get a bag of candy, you set aside all of the strawberry flavor because they’re his favorite.

Maybe when the nights grow long and everyone has gone home, you stick around to help him piece things together and offer a new perspective.

You know how he takes his tea, bringing him a fresh cup when he appears to be growing tired.

Sometimes Light or Misa say some blatant lie and the two of you exchange unimpressed side eyes.

You know all of his little tells and nuances, picking up on them fairly quickly, the way he does with you. Because at the end of the day, he’s not some deity or robot. He’s a detective, and he’s human too.

The way that I’m imagining it in my head is it being in the same vein as that one ask I did a while ago— the walk-in thing— where you don’t have a super firm grasp on the whole situation but through some total fuck up you ended up in the crossfire anyhow. You’re just on the floor making your way through a bag of starbursts or whatever and just absentmindedly set the pink ones in front of him because that’s just something you do whenever he’s at your place and after the group disperses a bit there’s quiet mumbling about how odd it is that after all he did to vet them and make sure they weren’t trying to kill him that he just took candy from someone he does not know all that well. If asked what you’re doing in a language you understand you just shrug and say that those are his favorites and he goes on talking as if nothing happened. You watching the task force work and mumbling into L’s ear that the teenage one gives you just the weirdest vibe and him quietly nodding because at least you can identify that there is something wrong with him, and his gaze just gets a little bit colder if he notices Light looking for too long as he puts two and two together. He hates that you’re there— he wishes you’d never come— but there is something satisfying about the way you blatantly glare at Light and his synthetic smile and absolutely adores the fact that you know him enough to pick up who in the room he has repore with and who he thinks is just that little bit off when nobody else in the room seems to see what he sees. To know that you care that much about him and trust his opinion to that degree is comforting to say the least.

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

16: Alright Campers, Today’s Activity is to Find a Will to Keep Going

♪⁠────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

Man, you wish Sans would pick a better time to be considerate. You know yourself well enough that if you took a shower, you wouldn’t want to go out anywhere afterward. Because of this, you left for Grillby’s feeling a little icky and dirty.

“Remember when I had this cool plan to take a shower?” You bring up, walking by Sans’ side, “I don’t look like total shit, do I?”

Sans gives you an obvious once over, “nah. just as spoiled when i first saw you.”

“What?! Spoiled?!”

“your dress reminds me of this ice queen in one of pap’s bedtime stories.” Sans explains as if that’ll fix anything, “she sings about letting go of her past, and has this magical girl transformation with her dress using her ice powers.”

“…Motherfucker, you mean ELSA?!”

“oh, so you know that story, too.”

GIRL 😭!!!!

“But Elsa isn’t spoiled at all!”

“right, but it’s that royal vibe she has. your fancy dress gives off the same vibe.”

“Ohhh,” You lean close to him with a smug little grin, “So you think I’m a Queen, huh? Someone worth all the attention and gifts and praise?”

He rolls his eye-lights and shoves you away playfully, “yeah right, in your dreams.”

“Hey, can’t blame a girl for wanting to live the luxury,” You shake your head with a sigh, “Like the time when I barely turned twenty-one, I signed up on so many Sugar Daddy sites.”

“…” Sans narrows his eye sockets at you, “what’s—a sugar daddy?”

“…”

“…”

“Uh, anyway,” You look at the brown building you two stopped in front of, “This is Grillby’s, huh? Any hot tips I should know about before we go in?”

“eh, there ain’t any rules if that’s what you’re worried about. just don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do at a bar and burger joint. grillby can be a little hot-headed.”

…

That was weak as fuck.

“Why do I have a feeling you’re setting me up with some kind of pun?” You narrow your eyes, already knowing.

His grin is so smug and full of mischief.

Bro is up to some dubious deeds.

Bro is up to no good.

The short(?) monster opens the door for you, gesturing for you to go in first. You bow slightly and say thank you, stepping into the building that will soon become one of your favorites.

The music is a fucking banger, nothing like the OST that plays in the game. It’s something like nasty jazz that makes you feel like a secret mafia boss. One that wears a skimpy, blood-red silk dress, and black silk gloves. Oh, and you're “mourning” the loss of your husband that you definitely didn’t kill.

God, what a fucking banger.

“…[y/n]?”

“Huh?” You shake your head, “Sorry, I was daydreaming. The music got my fantasies going.”

“pfft-about what?”

Sans starts walking further in, so you keep up by his side. It seems like he’s taking you to the bar. It looks like Grillby’s regulars are still here: the ugly fish, Ugly Fish, at the bar next to the birdy, Red Bird. The drunk rabbit monster, Drunk Bun, absolutely plastered at the booth closest to the entrance. And the mouthy monster with huge teeth, Big Mouth, is minding his own business. Lesser Dog and Doggo were here too playing Poker with each other. Greater Dog, Dogamy, and Doggaressa weren’t here; it was getting late now, so maybe they’d gone home.

Huh, Grillby isn’t behind the bar right now. Maybe he’s in the back making food?

“Oh, man. Do you really want to know about my dirty secrets?”

“my, are they really that scandalous?”

You hum before speaking, “You ever think about killing your rich husband and walking around in an expensive robe while drinking some wine thinking how you’re gonna hide the body?”

“…??? no???”

You purse your lips. You reach the bar and eye the stool you’re in front of. You press down on the seat hard, but you don’t hear a whoopee cushion. You deem it safe to sit on.

“This is what I’m talking about, bone boy. You can’t handle my sexy little fantasies.”

Sans sits next to you on your right (no whoopee cushion there either), his cheekbones gaining a very faint pink hue at your choice of words.

“is that a popular fantasy with the human ladies?”

“Only with the mentally ill ones, just like me.”

“ha-ha!” Sans props his right arm up on the bar, leaning his cheek against his fist while giving you a cheeky look, “all that just from the jukebox?”

You mirror his pose, “You see, bone boy. This is the power of the mentally ill. I’m sure with a little practice, you too, can daydream about killing your husband.”

“wait. what do you mean with “a little practice?” don’t you mean… maybe with a lot of practice?”

You shrug with a smirk, “Hey, man. I just thought you might be able to relate a little. But maybe I was wrong.”

“well, it’s no skin off my nose if you wanna make assumptions,” Sans winks playfully, “but i will neither confirm nor deny a thing.”

“Fine, fine,” You straighten up, “Let me give-”

“You-You’re… Hey, you’re here…!”

You and Sans redirect your attention to a familiar voice on your left. Your good buddy, Doggo, had bound up close to you, his fluffy tail wagging more when you gave him a friendly smile.

Wait, there’s something… different about him…

”Hey…” You narrow your eyes and point vaguely at him, “Did you… Did you buy a spiked collar?”

“I DID!!!”

You and Sans flinch at Doggo’s sudden shouting. Sure enough, Doggo is sporting a stylish black collar lined with silver-colored spikes. However on closer inspection, the spikes look rounded. Perhaps so it wouldn’t seriously hurt him, or anyone, if he touched it or bumped into it.

“You-You said that it’d look good,” Doggo shifts nervously from foot to foot, “Truthfully, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. And you gave me the confidence to finally go through with it! What do you-What do you think?”

The stool you’re on is just short enough that your toes can comfortably touch the ground. You start bouncing your leg up and down and hope that’s enough movement for Doggo to see you. Considering his eyes aren’t shifting so much, you assume that it’s good enough.

“Hey, that’s great! And I meant it, you know,” You glance back at the skeleton, “What do you think, Sans? Don’t you think he looks snazzy?”

Sans raises a brow-bone, “i think it fits ya. but uh, i didn’t think you were the type to care about what people think.”

You nudge him, “It’s nice to get validation sometimes, Sans.” You gesture vaguely at the furry monster, “You said you’re Doggo, right? It was great seeing you again, but bone boy and I gotta talk about something private.”

Doggo straightens up, flustered that he had interrupted so rudely and suddenly. His tail wags shallowly, slowly being tucked between his legs. Awe, a sad puppy is one of the most heart-wrenching sights even if Doggo is technically a grown man.

“Oh, yeah. Sor-I’m Do—S-Sorry.”

He feels even more embarrassed at Sans’ smug grin behind you. Ugh, Doggo didn’t think Sans was the type to be a tease like that. Could it be because the skeleton can tell he likes the praise? No one is really that nice to call him stylish or greet him with as much kindness and excitement as you have been doing.

Maybe it’s in his soul to want to be called a good dog.

Either way, it seems like Sans has caught on.

That's just embarrassing.

“It’s fine, you don’t gotta apologize,” You wave it off, “Maybe after, we can—Hey, I think that guy is eating your cards.”

“WHAT?!”

Lesser Dog tenses up and turns around, Doggo’s cards (and possibly his own???) shoved in his mouth and got slobber everywhere. Doggo shouts something incomprehensible while pouncing on him. Lesser Dog yelps that pained puppy yell when they hit the ground, but you assume he’s fine.

“wow, you sure get a lot of attention.”

You look at Sans with a raised eyebrow, “I’d be getting more hostile attention if anyone found out I was a flesh-bag. I’ll gladly get this kind of attention over being shanked in the shin.”

The monster crosses his arms on the table and rests his head. He’s looking at you but where else is he supposed to look?

“so, we got something private to talk about?”

You widen your eyes in remembrance, “Right. I didn’t want to bring it up until I could actually get a job, but we might as well get it over with. Uhm, when I start getting a steady income, steady enough anyway, I was thinking I could pay you rent.”

Sans widens his eye sockets, “wait, what? rent?”

“Oh, come on. These customs aren’t that different from how it is on the surface, right? Usually, if you’re living with someone for a while or even a few months, it’s usually polite to pitch in for the rent.”

“n-no, i get that. i just…”

You think back to that popular theory that the reason Sans’ mail is filled with junk is because of all their bills. Papyrus doesn’t actually have a job, and Sans is the only one who works. You think one of the not-so-hidden secret dialogues Papyrus has is that Sans handles the rent, but he doesn’t actually know where the money comes from.

Sans might feel too guilty about accepting your help in that regard, or he might jump on the opportunity to take your money. You don’t really care; you already decided one way or another that you’ll help out with that. If you can’t do anything else, then it’s the least you can do.

“maybe we should wait until you get a job,” Sans finally says, his eye-lights shifting to the empty bar. “can’t really plan much around it if you don’t even got a cent to your name.”

You purse your lips, “That’s not true. Toriel gave me an allowance for cleaning her house all the damn time.”

“ooh, ‘scuse me, then.”

You take a deep breath, looking around, “You know, I didn’t wanna say anything because I didn’t wanna sound like that bitch. But where’s that Grillby guy? I’m still hungry…”

Sans winces and straightens up, “yeah, now that you mention it, grillby’s been gone from the bar for a while.”

“Oh, Grillby?” Red Bird on your left at the bar speaks up finally, “He’s in the back cleaning up. Give the guy some time, he’s the only one working here, so he has to do everything.”

“Ahhh, everything, you say…” You lean towards the skeleton with a smile, “Sayyyy. Sanssyyyy boyyyy…!”

“i don’t have any money.”

You ignore that. “You don’t think Grillby would be open to hiringggg, do youuuu?”

“…no way you’re thinking of working here.”

“Why not? I used to be a waitress at Hooters for a year before reconsidering my life choices.”

“do i even want to know what a hooters is?”

“Oh, no. Absolutely not. But!” You straighten your back and put a hand on your chest, smirking triumphantly, “All you need to know is that I have experience in this field! Once this Grillby dude comes out, I’ll talk to him about it.”

Sans only shakes his head, opting to keep his thoughts to himself. He’s more… his thoughts are more on the fact that if you work here, there’s a risk that someone might finally put two and two together about your identity. Not only that, but he practically lives at Grillby’s!

In the nicest way possible, there would be no escaping you.

You two sit together in silence for a few minutes. It’s not awkward at all, and in fact, he rather enjoys this silence with you. Your eyes are closed with a smile on your face, tilting your head side to side to the looping music. Hah, maybe Grillby can hire you to fix the jukebox.

This is… nice.

Grillby finally comes out from the kitchen, phasing through the door as he cleans his hands with a rag. How is it not catching on fire? Who knows. It’s also a mystery that his clothes and glasses can phase through the door, too.

The fireman tenses up at seeing you (and Sans) and the bar.

You also sit up straight, “I… Hey, hottie.”

“heh-” Sans ducks his head down, “that was so lame.”

“Hey, I panicked! Also, you were totally setting me up with a pun earlier!”

“…”

“…”

“…”

His “talking” just sounds like fire and wood crackling.

“Grillbz wants to know how long you’ve been waiting out here.” Red Bird says, you know, like a liar.

You give her the side eye. You remember at the end of the Pacifist Route, she admitted she was just guessing what Grillby was saying. If Grillby REALLY had a problem with it, hopefully he would be assertive enough to stop her. But still, it bugs you when people speak for others.

“I’m sure Grillby can ask me that himself, then,” You put your elbow on the bar table and prop your chin on your fist, “I’ll be nice this time, though. We weren’t waiting for long, so you don’t gotta worry.”

Grillby has white “dot” eyes behind his glasses, and his “eyebrows” are just darker parts of the flames on his face. Even when he steps closer, you don’t feel the heat from his body in a way fire should emanate it. There is a warmth coming from him, but it’s really pleasant.

The man is literally fire, and no pun intended, but he is hot. Especially his body.

‘I am no better than a man, I fear.’ You think sadly.

Sans raises a bone brow at you, “you don’t let anything slide, huh?”

“I wasn’t always a hard-ass, you know,” You smile at the fireman, “Unless you’re mute, then I apologize.”

Grillby shakes his head.

“Selectively mute, then?”

He hesitantly shakes his head again.

“You don’t like to talk much?”

He makes a “so-so” motion with his hand.

“Huh, you can’t talk much even if you wanted to?”

Grillby snaps his fingers and points to you, nodding at your correct guess.

“Ahh, gotcha. Would it be fine if you could just give me a yes,” You nod your head up and down in demonstration, “or no,” You shake your head side to side, “then?”

He nods. You don’t know how, but you just feel Grillby is smiling at you despite him not actually emoting at all. Maybe it is a soul/magic/monster thing?

You grin at Sans, “See? Communication can be simple if you just put in the effort.”

Sans has to say, he’s mildly impressed. From what he remembers from previous timelines, Grillby can talk, and he’s rather cheeky too which compliments his cool and collected personality. But monsters like Sans (and Papyrus) and Grillby have a harder time talking since it takes up more magic and concentration. That's why he doesn't bother moving his mouth to talk; it takes too much effort. And just like Sans, Grillby doesn’t have a voice box so he relies on his magic.

The skeleton must figure that Grillby appreciates that you want to talk to him instead of just taking Red Bird’s word for it. The fire elemental always gets heated whenever Sans and Red Bird try to guess what he’s saying and get it so wrong.

“we’ll get a double order of the burg combo, grillbz,” Sans orders for you.

Normally, you’d have a problem with that, but you don’t really care right now. You just want to eat.

“…”

“…”

“…”

Red Bird nods, “Grillbz wants to know-”

“-Grillbz can tell me himself,” You laugh. “Here, how ‘bout this, Grillby.”

You make a “C” with your hand as if you were a Lego man holding a cup. Then, you bring it up to your mouth.

“This means “drink” in ASL—erm, in sign language.”

Grillby furrows his brows (as in, the darker flames above his eyes furrow together) as he mimics your movements, though a bit clumsy. You perk up and nod excitedly.

“Yeah, you’re a natural!”

“You know sign language?” Ugly Fish asks, his words slurring a bit.

Oh, you feel so bad you’re only calling it sign language because there are so many others other than just ASL, but you don’t really want to expose yourself to knowing the different sign languages humans use.

“I’m not fluent by any means, but I made myself learn for my j—for-for fun,” You smile, “Anyway, sorry for being annoying about it, Grillby. But I can go for some liquor, anything you think would taste best with the food.”

The red man nods, reaches under the counter, and pulls out a ketchup bottle. He slides it to Sans without even looking, and the other catches it as if it’s just routine.

“you know just what i like, grillby.” Sans winks.

Grillby nods, turning to go back into the kitchen. You notice with a snort that he’s repeating the “drink” sign while he walks. How cute, maybe if you’re feeling nice, you can show him more.

You mainly learned ASL because you thought it’d be useful in your field as a doctor. You were encouraged by Kōrenki to learn it for that reason, so of course you immediately got on that. You know you were humble about it earlier, but you are very well-versed in ASL.

Sans screws open the tip of the bottle, “you’re fitting in here perfectly. a little too perfectly. any more and you’ll replace me as the favorite.”

“Aw, don’t be like that, bone boy. You’re selling yourself too short, I can never replace you,” You lean close to him to whisper, “I’m just trying to get brownie points so I can get hired. Bear with me, yeah?”

Ohhh, right.

“i completely forgot about that,” Sans brings the ketchup bottle to his teeth, “my bad, i’m being a bonehead.”

“You are not drinking plain ketchup.”

His eye sockets squint from his growing smile. He tilts the bottle back and-

“Ew! Ha-ha-ha!!” You shove him by the shoulders, though not enough to push him off the stool, “You are so rotten to the core!”

“hey, take it easy. don’t get stewed over small problems.”

“I know, I know! It’s fruitless to get hung up about it.”

“oh, so you’re a “tomato is a fruit” type of gal, huh?”

You give Sans a blank look, “You are not telling me you think it’s a vegetable.”

Red Bird decided your A-B conversation with Sans was too interesting and sought to C her way into it.

“Sans is usually wrong about anything he says. I wouldn’t listen to a word he says.”

“Gasp!” You put your hand on your chest, “Is this true, bone boy? Are you regularly full of shit?”

He snickers, “strictly speaking, i’m not full of anything.”

“This might be a deal breaker for me. It’s time we see other people.”

“you’ll be fine, i’m sure we can work it out or something.”

You roll your eyes. Whatever, you want a divorce. You turn in your seat to speak to Red Bird some more, giving Sans the cold shoulder but you guys knew it was just to tease.

Red Bird was snarky with you, but you guess it’s to be expected since you didn’t let her talk for Grillby. She might’ve taken it personally and you certainly didn’t help constantly interrupting her. You kept your tone and expressions peaceful though, and it seemed to help since she slowly but surely cooled down with her sarcasm.

You were sharing where you're from (which, according to the cover story Sans made up, you're from downtown Snowdin). Why you're a funny looking monster (“Kind of human like!” “Ha-ha, that's so silly! Ah-ha ha! Imagine that…”). How you even met Sans (“We both know a guy.”). And how you two became good friends.

You smile and raise a brow, “What makes you think we're good friends?”

Ugly Fish scoffs a laugh, “He ain't ever brought his friends here the whole time we've known ‘im.”

“Ahhh, is that soooo?” You smirk smugly, smirking the smugliest, smirkiest smirk that has ever been smirked smugly, “You could've just gotten the food and brought it back to me, but I'm special enough that you wanted to bring me here?”

“ugh. well, if i knew you were gonna get a big ego out of it, i would've reconsidered.” Sans rolls his eye-lights, feeling his magic heat up in his face.

“What a lie,” You snicker, “But enough about that. What about you guys? Tell me about yourselves.”

Red Bird slams her drink down eagerly, “Oh! Where do I even begin?”

Saved from further embarrassment, the conversation easily shifts back into the original topic. You were getting along great now with the others, occasionally trying to include Sans in the conversation. He purposely stayed out of it because he was simply too lazy to converse, but he appreciated you wanting to include him. While waiting for Grillby, you were also showing them some more sign language.

“And for no particular reason,” You grin, “This is how you say “bald-headed bitch.”

“ppfftt—ack!”

“Woah, Sans! Are you okay??”

You swiftly turn around and start patting him on the back—the spine?? You don’t know, but you were patting something. He nods frantically, his eyes are squeezed shut and his smile is nearly off his face. Oh God, are those tears?! How is he even choking on ketchup?!

“i-i’m fine…” Sans is clearing his throat… somehow. “you just caught me off guard with that.”

Ugly Fish and Red Bird laughing their asses off at Sans’ misery while you were still worried about his health. You bet it’s not often they see him off his game. The monster waves you off to stop patting him, not that you didn’t know it wasn’t doing anything other than giving him a nice massage.

“So, you were saying…?” Red Bird trails off.

“Oh, right!”

You raise your hand over your head, circling your index finger around the top of your head. “Bald-headed.”

You make a “B” sign with the same hand, bumping the side of your hand (the side with your index finger) on your chin. “Bitch.”

Ugly Fish and Red Bird try mimicking you, though a problem quickly arises with the two. They don’t exactly have the hands or fingers to do the movements precisely as you do. You guess it doesn’t really matter that much if they’re trying at all.

As they’re fumbling with that, Grillby emerges from the fire exit with two plates of food lined up on his left arm. Somehow, the food phases through the door, too. Probably because it’s magic.

The fire elemental serves you first, setting down your burger and fries before giving the other to Sans. It smells amazing and if you were just a little more openly cringe, you would’ve started drooling. You sit upright and clasp your hands together.

“Thank you for the food, Grillby!” You beam with a smile, “Ah, it smells amazing!”

“you won’t find any other burgers like this anywhere in the underground,” Sans’ eye-lights get bigger at the sight of good food in front of him.

You wanted to ask about the meat used for these, but that would be too suspicious. Grillby is watching you with crossed arms, watching you and seemingly waiting for you to take the first bite. The burger looks… something like a Bourbon Burger: slightly melted white cheddar cheese, bacon, sautéed mushrooms, roasted bell peppers, red onion, some kind of sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, and pickles–all on brioche buns.

You’re about to bust a fat fucking nut you just know it.

You carefully pick up the burger and look around for the best angle to take a bite. Finding it, you take a generous-sized bite and let it savor.

It seemed like the whole bar had gone silent in anticipation. They’re waiting at the edge of their seats, holding their breath to see if Sans' special friend likes the food.

(Un)Lucky for them, you fucking moaned like a dramatic whore at the amazing taste.

“Oh, my fucking God! Grillby, this is amazing!” You cover your mouth as you speak, trying not to be rude by talking with your mouth full.

Grillby’s shoulders drop slightly and he nods. Seems like he was really nervous you wouldn’t like it, but he had nothing to worry about. Not that he had to worry about much anyway, you’re sure anything would taste amazing compared to the spaghetti you had earlier.

The atmosphere returns to normal, and the minimal amount of patrons go back to their usual routine. Grillby begins to work behind the bar, presumably preparing your drink. The glasses look really thick, perhaps a way to withstand the heat of Grillby’s touch.

“wow, that was a reaction and a half,” Sans teases you, “was it that good?”

You nod eagerly, “I mean, can you blame me? I’ve only had the–other kind of burgers in the past. This is the first time I’m trying one like this.”

“right, right. how different is the flavor, anyway?”

“Not that different if I’m honest. The only major difference is that this shit here is fucking GOD tier,” You take another bite, resisting the urge to cry because that’s how good it is.

Sans decides to drop it there and enjoy his own food, too. You made him realize that, yeah it IS delicious and a meal he takes for granted. Love and Magic are just so ingrained in his everyday life, that he forgot how (pun totally intended) magical is it to be exposed to it so often. The littlest things to him, like this burger, are one of the wonders of the world to you.

Ah, he is glad that you’re fitting in here at Grillby’s at the very least. You were getting a little pushy about Red Bird allowing Grillby to “speak” for himself, but you did it out of good faith. Grillby looked like he appreciated you stepping in like that though, so he shouldn’t complain all things considered. He doesn’t know how well it’ll work for you to work here if you can’t use magic, but maybe…

“hey, grillbz,” Sans starts casually, eating a fry, “[y/n] was talking about–her name’s [y/n], by the way. she was thinkin’ about getting a job and was wondering if you were hirin’. i mean, considering today, seems like you might need the help.”

While the bartender was doing a fancy trick making your drink, he redirected his attention to you. You smile nervously and nod in agreement.

“You can take time to think about it, but I thought if anything, I could be a waitress or even mix drinks. I don’t mind helping with the cleanup either. Just… I think I might be the most useless in the kitchen.”

You can cook, but you can’t use magic. If everything is made with magic, what’s to say you won’t need magic to make the monster food? You can’t exactly expose yourself that way, it would be so lame! You don’t think the kitchen is where he needs help though. Even now, the place looks like it can benefit from a wipe-down.

Grillby sets your glass in front of you, the liquid inside is a bright red and blue mix with specks of silver. You go to grab it, but just hover your hand near the glass and you can feel the heat coming from it. You wince and pull away: it was uncomfortably hot, like touching a plastic water bottle that's been out in the sun all day.

“And another thing, if I help out with some drinks, then you don’t gotta worry about making only hot drinks.” You wink at the hot man, “Just think about it, okay?”

He nods, pointing at his head then taps his wrist twice.

“Give you some time to think about it?” You guess.

He nods again.

“Sure thing, boss,” You give Sans a smug little smirk, “See? I’m a fucking master at charades.”

Sans rolls his eyes, “that was the bear minimum.”

“Don’t be jealous of me, bone boy.”

“in your dreams.”

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

@fluffyart5000

[carmenized-onions]

review

chip is the biggest fourth wall breaker and i love it for her - time is definitely linear 100% we didn’t just read a tenet vibe flashback forward around and sideways episode that isn’t what happened?

her and carmy are so skinny not breaking the counter

any shoes left undropped? oh how i love your continued motifs

BEFORE YOU KNEW ME YOU CALLED ME CARMY???? completely and utterly feral. she found him charming!!! teehee. she is such a tumblr girl #parasocialrelationshipvibes

she found him charming teehee

chip is simultaneously the second most awkward and the least awkward and carmy is consistently the most awkward

okay the car incident was a month ago, good to know because the fever dreams are ongoing

promised to ask you out (when he’s mentally stable) LOL WHENS THAT HAPPENING

god you are so good at talking about throats i never knew that the feeling of someone’s throat could make me feel emotions

HE IS A MORON oh my god but he isn’t a bad guy (tumblr needs to see this after their comments on season 3 carmy)

carmy i beg do the fucking work i need you two to have sex now x

i love the way i can’t exactly tell who’s thoughts these are/ the respective it’s being written from - like some lines are so chip then some are so carmy and some are also giving me michael vibes (could be completely off parr with this and you didn’t intend for me to read into it this much).

for example

- [ ] “you squint like he’s a moron” is so chip, but then the “he is” is so mikey

- [ ] and then the “of course you want him to change” is so carmy and the “he sucks” is so mikey

stop thinking about food carmy oml wrap it up,

oh carmy you could definitely be better but

NO CHIP YOU COULD NOT BE BETTER NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT “insert rodrick saying deny deny deny”

jk chip is a flawed character but also so likeable and that’s why we love her

the peoples princess did go hard to be fair this is so random but my ex boyfriend always said i was a fixer like chip but he never called me the peoples princess and the reason why is insane… HE DIDNT KNOW WHO PRINCESS DIANA WAS. bear in mind this boy was a fucking genius, going to one of the hardest degrees at a very good school and we are both british how in hell do you not know who princess diana is you fucking weirdo

i knew he was a making a dish in his head, and what does he do, go and prove me right and make a dish in his head

ITS EASIER TO MAKE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE FOR YOU,,,,, ABOUT YOU WTF

me with a chronic nail biting problem and a therapist 👁️👄👁️

you are both little morons i need richie (ideally mikey but that’s obvs no possible) to come and tell you this

finally they are back in sync

this proving yourself thing is kind of crazy but it’s also carmen so EVENTUALLY THANK GOD

it is definitely weird to have the same therapist

the cat analogy is so good i feel it in my bones

i would say i love you tbf, too soon but she was MIKEYS PICK

such a cat response

i’m glad we have reaffirmed that she will still work there because i need to see this happen

with you??? wtf do you mean you two need labels istg

he has receipts like idk what to tell you it’s fucking carmy and when it comes to chip he’s finna be in the pit (be prepared)

my reaction to carmy v fields…. oh yeah:

- THIS IS TOO GOOD WTAF

- i needed this. i needed this so fucking much

- WALK HIM LIKE A FUCKING DOG

- THIS WAS ON THE FUCKING ROADTRIP - GOD I WISH I WAS THERE RVEN FUCKING MORE WYG

-GOD YOU ARE SO FUCKING CHEKHOVS GUN

- i was chilling with dirty details and NOW ITS THIS YOU ARE AMAZING

- head of the head of the head IN THEIR HEADS

- PROZAC RIDDLED FUCKS LIKE ME… are you actually on prozac… no?

- WHY IS FAK BERE?? GO FUCKING HOME

- best friend FAK? we will talk about best friend fak later

- i love this website commentary- i had to make a website once and it was the worst experience of my life

- of course chip would learn web design

- GET HIM CARMEN FUCKINF GET HIS ASSSSSS

- WE DONT PLAY IN CHICAGO (this is so my city vs london in the uk)

- ROAD TRIP SQUAD OH MY FUCKING GOD

- i was wondering what he meant by dusty and dead… i get it now

- tip your servers and don’t ask for their numbers

- one thing richie believes is fuck the feds (even the paramedics)

*deep breath*,,, moving on

they need to kiss rn like they just do while he imagines food she imagines drinks. i would say i love you? so just fucking say it AND FUCKING KISS ALREADY

your writing, like it really is fucking amazing

oh my god

THEY KISSED TEEHEE TEHEE I AM LITERALLY KICKING MY FEET

i love the bear fandom all uniting on the fact that carmy likes having his hair pulled. like there is one consistency across all fanfictions and it is that carmy will whine when someone pulls on his hair

*chekovs gunshot* she gets headaches when she smokes, she likes the taste of his mouth, he wants to fly her to paris. these were all in one sentence YOU ARE TOO GOOD

“I want you to be permanent and carved in my tables and I want you to wear my jackets and I want you in my kitchen and in my menu and in every dumb fucking conversation I have at Christmas tellin’ family what the fuck I’m doing— I want you in every sentence.”

i’m going to do a full analysis on this… this is fucking literature i don’t know what else to say.

FAK GO AWAY I WANT THEM TO FUCK COME ON DUDE

another thing consistently in the best fanfic. carmen is a biter

the mood is not dead FUCK ALREADY

i was so worried the vibe ending would be the end of the chapter and i would have cried THANKYOU FOR WRITING SO MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR RIDICULOUS WORD COUNTS

SYD IS HER OLD CAT, this is why her and carmy are so good as coworkers

you are genuinely unbelievable

“get your weird little hands off my chip you perv “they’re not weird little hands” “why is that what you dispute” they are children

i don’t feel that i can really say anything on how you wrote the scene of richie and chip after because it cannot suffice in saying how good you are at this

go away dee dee i just got a smudge of happiness

oh sugar how i’ve missed you

the. first. christmas. without. mikey.

only the girls who babysat get chip

fucking rich boy carmy thinks he’s bad now he got payed. OKG I SAID THIS BEDORE I RVEN READ THE CHARMIN LINE WE ARE THE SAME (jk you are better than me)

he wants her soooo bad

OH MY GOD. she is making him watch ratatouille. carmen you literally are a weird rat . like you are THE WEIRD RAT

of course she’s a makeup cleansing balm user that is my queen bitch. also she wants to wear converse she’s so cringe i love her

he wants her on his team!?!!

aw he’s thinking a normal carmy amount like he’s helping her plan outfits and he’s ensuring they include her accent colour so say yes to being on his team pls

yeah carmy wants the apron to be easy to take off too LOL

richie the certified on god boy

you are the queen of stupid and meaningless (not stupid at all) stuff that is actually very meaningful

he is so big brother energy (richie)

the younger siblings taking turns to sit in the console i love this it is so real

they say they’ll be happy about it but they’ll curse you behind your back

you recognise all of it. it’s nearly enough to make you cry. - ouch

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE. HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE 10 TIMES

AND DONE

this chapter was the emotional relief i needed fuck

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS!!!!!!!

sometimes. we simply need a reminder that time is linear LMAO. listen. is it fourth wall breaking or just dissasocciation? Maybe both. Maybe it's mabelliyne.

NOT SKINNY LMAOOO as a plus size girl, I truly was considering writing in somewhere a moment of Chip awkwardly having to crawl up on the counter (how do people do just jump on the thing? i do not have that power)

I fear I'll never let go of my shoe motif. I fear I'll actually never let it drop.

Parasocial Chip my beloved,,, man I gotta write blurbs of her in her crush era when she didn't know Carm yet. SOMEONE REQUEST IT How are you NOT supposed to find this Denmark Virgin with a LOT of jean jackets hot??!?!?! he's charming!!! also you're BOTH losing at the not-awkward-lympics.

i truly have to reastablish the timeline by saying 'month ago' because if i dont i will truly forget where we are in time. i'm almost certain i've gotten dates wrong anyways. it's fine, the revisions will fix it alright it's fine.

THANK YOU I TRY TO TALK ABOUT THROATS IN A FUN WAY. I guess honestly I feel emotional in my throat, when I get emotional. Like. If I get mad or sad or guilty, it sort of closes up a bit? Feels hollow? And did I assume everyone's throat does that? yeah possibly. but it worked out.

i do NOT engage in da tumblr discourse much, esp when it comes to hating characters in general, but I hope everyone has eased up on my boy since taking a step back. Man is going through a lot. I also just think like man, I have certainly not been the most cognizant of other's needs when I'm in a stage or high stress fight or flight--- And certainly if those needs aren't made clear--- dog, I'm doublin down!!! that's truly the biggest difference I think with CK and The Bear diverging--- We communicate in dis house.

LMAOOOOO I DID FORGET WHILE REREADING THAT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT NOTE YOU DEMANDED THEY FUCK, yeah that's fair. I keep thinking it's gonna happen and pushing it honestly. these assholes are gonna get married before they get down with it, good lord. someone get them a room that isn't a bathroom.

also this Mikey thing. with the thoughts. was honestly so mindblowing. I know that's weird because I'm the writer, but I see what you're saying completely!! I've always had this weird style of like, second persion omniscient where it's Chip but sometimes I move in terms of the stream of consciousness to being her or someone else or no one; and the idea of that stream of consciousness being by in part, Mikey?? OHHHHH OHHHHHH BABBYYYY Totally puts so much stuff in a different context and I love it. canon it. canon it. i didn't come up with it but canon it.

DENY !! DENY!! CHIP THAT'S NOT YOU IN THE PHOTO!! I'm so glad people think chip is flawed. I know that's literally insane to say but I've had this horrific habit of categorizing flaws in my head as 'good flaws' and 'bad flaws', and 'good flaws' are the ones that make everyone elses life better and your life worse.

so.

need to seek a therapist about that a little bit. C

INSANE TO BE ALIVE LET ALONE BRITISH AND NOT KNOW WHO LADY DI IS???? but yknow what home boy probably wouldn't even be creative enough to say 'peoples' princess' as a diss. carmen/me ate with that.

when is this fucker not cooking. it's like that scene in Tick Tick Boom but romantic and NOT sad and bad. IT'S NICE TO BE THE ARTIST AND ARTIST AND MUSE AND MUSE ALRIGHT it's frankly my ideal relationship

bro i RIP my free edge of my nails off all the time when they get too long, and pick at my cuticle skin. I feel you. I dont have a therapist just yet but I feel you.

If Mikey was still alive to see his OTP happen, I truly don't know how he'd react. I think he'd be losing his mind in silence. Like has to put his fist in his mouth so he doesn't scream and ruin it.

I'm so glad the cat analogy was good, while writing it I was like "i wonder if this is anything" i'm glad it's something.

Fields v Berzatto was fun to write. It's what I think, if he was hyped up enough, what Carmen would do after having that S3 Finale talk with Fields. Like very much so when you leave an interaction and you're at home hours later like FUCK. i could've said this and this and this and this. And this is his moment to do so!!

Website talk truly comes from me having to make my own portfolio 3 separate times. I hated it. No one ever make me update my shit again.

I AM chekov's gun, but also it's just plot. i think we're just talking about plot progression LMAO

FELLAS IS IT CRAZY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN BEEN DATING FELLAS? FELLAS ANSWER ME. FELLAS.

the "i'm going to do a full analysis... i don't know what to say" made me laugh so fucking hard. continuing on. NEIL 'COCKBLOCK' FAK EVERYONE, thank you neil for once again saving me from having to write intimacy, you're my hero

man if i need to end at 20 chapters like i'm goaling to, THESE CHAPTERS NEED TO BE LONGGG I HAVE TO GIVE SO MUCH. so. this pattern of ridiculous word counts continues.

the two cats!! feline gang. get your PAWS off MY CHIP!!!

Can I just. so briefly touch on. I know my timeline is off in CK, because I think it's May/March 2023 in S3? Can't remember. It was dated in episode 2. But like. I am so mad about this. Because that means they skipped/didn't acknowledge:

November 15th, Mikey's birthday, first one without him. (Which, fun fact, and incidental, timeline wise in CK, this would probably be the day Carmen/Chip met since it's mid-late December for them?)

The First Christmas Without Mikey.

AND February 22nd, his Death Anniversary. are you fucking KIDDING ME? WE JUST SKIPPED ALL OF THIS IN THE RENO SKIPS? ARE YOU FUCKING JOSHING ME? THESE ARE SUCH INTEGRAL MOMENTS. NOW I HAVE TO MAKE EM UP MYSELF?!?!?! HELP ME OUT STORER PLEASE.

anyways. carmen thing's he's bad or wtv. too bad he's a weird rat.

i think carmen honestly loves dress up. like he owned so many jean jackets and jeans and also lived in denmark and New York. Like. he'd love to style Chip, truly. also wants her to be on his team and have an easily removable apron but that's neither here nor there.

I love stupid and meaningless that is deep with meaning!!! that's my memo baby that's my number!!

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFEEEEEE WATCH THE TAPES BACK HE KIND OF DID.

I would say more, but I HAVE to go put together chapter 15 and put it out for you. this is all to say thank you so much for your thoughts i remember reading them in the morning and gigglin and being late for work. good times. i always love to read your brain!!