Notes for A Matter of Duty - Chapter 4: A leaf drifting in the sea
An actual plot-heavy chapter! And is there a thing such as un-porn? Porn that turns you off? (I guess that’s the definition of a squick.)
This chapter took the longest to write so far... in part because it required me to actually figure out more of Inazuma's political situation, and plan out the political intrigue that I've so far been vaguely handwaving. (I'm going to have the Inazuma section of the Genshin Impact wiki memorized at this rate. And Ayato's entire story quest.) Hat tip to my nesting partner who is good at political intrigue plot and workshopped it with me, otherwise I would probably still be stuck.
Also took a while to write because I had to make up an original character, because I couldn't find an Inazuma NPC that fit the role. I planned for Toru to be creepy (his placeholder in my notes until I figured out a name was "Creepy Old Man"), and then learned more about him as I wrote/outlined further, and thought maybe he wouldn't be creepy after all. (Maybe he's just a lonely old man and it was a big misunderstanding?) Aaand then I wrote the actual chapter and never mind, he's rather creepy and writing that scene felt gross and squicky. Might have to just gloss over/summarize future scenes with him because I don't particularly want to sit in that feeling again, but we'll see how things develop. (I'm outlining way more than I normally do with this story, but I'm still ultimately a seat-of-the-pants kind of writer, and it always feels somewhat like I'm following the story/characters where it happens to unfold rather than making deliberate choices. If I try to force it into a different shape than the one it wants to take, it never works as well.)
I know you can't buy miso soup from Shimura's, but it's where you get the recipe, so I assume it's on the restaurant's menu somewhere.
I didn't intend to write the origin story of Thoma's aversion to alcohol in his "Least Favorite Food" voice-line, but it happened anyway. ("As far as food is concerned, I'm fine with anything. If we're counting beverages, though... I'm not very good with alcohol. Don't laugh, and before you say it — yes, I've wondered what this says about my identity as a Mondstadter. But, y'know... too much alcohol is bad for you, anyway. So not drinking is a good thing.")
Also, a note: Gonna be depicting all sorts of varieties of sex work and sex worker in this story. We’re pro sex worker rights and decriminalization around here, SWERFS can GTFO, you probably won’t enjoy this story if you’re here for a “sex work bad / all sex workers are victims / save the poor sex workers” kind of story. A not insignificant number of my friends are sex workers in one capacity or another, from legal licensed full-service girlfriend experience to side hustle passion hobby to cam work and stage work, all across the gender / sexuality / romantic orientation spectrum. I’ve heard a lot of stories and perspectives from them over the years, and my writing’s informed by that. I know it might at first look like we’re going down the “sex worker as victim” plot line, but bear with me and it’ll develop into more nuance over time.
And again, a sampling of my Google search successes when studying up for this chapter:
Japanese etiquette according to a fascinating 1897 article in the Sacramento Daily Union. Particularly focused on hospitality.
Japanese gift etiquette, around giving and receiving gifts.
Visiting etiquette in Japan, according to another 1897 article, this time in the Hanford Journal.
Japanese slipper culture, because yes, there is a technique and etiquette all around the various times to wear and remove different kinds of house-slippers. I'd lay money that Inazuma incorporates this aspect of the culture, because you can find shoes sitting right outside the door of a few different Inazuma houses, even if they don't bother animating it because that would probably be too much trouble.
Etiquette of feudal Japan, covering bowing, speech, audiences, and especially sword or weapon etiquette.
Drinking etiquette in Japan. Why yes, most of my research this time was around politeness rules, how could you tell?
Japanese economic history prior to the Meiji restoration, aka during the Tokugawa Shogunate / Edo period which is the closest analogue to Inazuma. There were... a bunch of other articles on historical Japanese economics, but I won't bore you with them. Let's just say that as brilliant, detailed, well-researched, and cohesive as Genshin Impact's worldbuilding is, they really drop the ball on economy design and government design.
Summary of the fic itself with content warnings, tags, etc below the cut so you can decide if you want to read it or not before you click on the link.
A Matter of Duty
"Back then, I had no choice but to accept the position I was in. While I desperately looked around for powerful supporters, I endured smear campaigns and attempts to exploit me. I had no other choice... I didn't mind what became of me, but my family... No one can ever be allowed to trample over my precious family."
How Ayato secured powerful supporters, endured exploitation, and weathered the storm of the years following the death of his parents... and how Thoma helped him contend with a bunch of self-serving, degenerate public officials.
And how, after much stilted fumbling and well-intended sacrifice, they learned the truth of one another's hearts.
Note: Mind the tags. More specific content warnings will be given at the beginning of each chapter, and the story tags will be updated as needed. All characters involved in any sex scenes are adults.
Rating: Explicit. It's porn with plot. Porn as a vehicle for plot, or plot as a vehicle for porn, you can interpret it either way. (I prefer: porn and plot as a vehicle for ~feels~)
Tags that I'm not actually turning into tags here, but it gives you an idea of what you're in for: Kamisato Ayato/Thoma (Genshin Impact), dubious consent but not between Ayato and Thoma, slow burn, sex ed, first time, self-sacrifice, humiliation, exhibitionism, oral sex, anal sex, bdsm, bad bdsm etiquette, rough sex, breath play, impact play, bondage, service kink, abuse, sadism, codependency, shame, guilt, jealousy, possessiveness, trauma, ptsd, dissociation, political sex work, or sex work for political maneuvering, or political survival sex work if that’s a thing, exploitation, blackmail, political machinations, political intrigue, no aftercare, maybe someday some aftercare, hurt/comfort, mostly hurt for a long time but eventually comfort, oblivious disaster gays, for such socially savvy people they are terrible at personal relationships, dominant Ayato, submissive Thoma, top Ayato, bottom Thoma, Ayato is incredibly parentified, Thoma has no sense of self-preservation, self-sacrifice isn't a contest but don't tell Ayato and Thoma that, it's like the snipe-the-check game at restaurants but with sex and politics, Kushiel's Impact, no really this was in my drafts for the longest time as Kusheline Thomato Fic, everyone's an adult in this timeline except Ayaka, she gets protected at all costs, original characters out of necessity, finding appropriate existing Inazuma npcs for some of these roles was impossible, no beta we die like ayato's parents
Full fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47604337?view_full_work=true
Chapter 4: A leaf drifting in the sea: Thoma completes Ayato's deal with the elderly accounts manager of the Kanjou Commission. He mostly keeps his promise to not push himself in the process. ...Mostly.
Chapter contains: sex work (for political favors), oral sex, significant age difference, alcohol, pressure to drink alcohol, drunkenness, more plot than porn. Also general... creepiness/squickiness, I guess? Aka writing this made me uncomfortable and I'm not sure exactly how to content warn for it.
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so, one aspect of catelyn which i think is underrated (certainly the biggest adaptation loss which nobody talks about) is her, let's say superstitiousness, or better yet, let's call it genre-savviness, being one of the few adult characters open to magic and the supernatural in this fantasy world. we first meet her in the godswood, home of gods which are not truly hers, yet she is still very aware of their power. when she and ned talk of the deserter he killed, he hopes he won't have to go with the nw to deal with mance rayder, but she has even more fear of that idea bc there are worse things beyond the wall than just wildlings. ned scoffs and says she's been listening to old nan too much, but she's right. we already know from the prologue that she's right! and here she is, understanding the genre of their world better than her husband, who was actually born and spent his earliest years in this northern land of deep magic, listening to old nan's stories. same with the direwolves, where she was uncomfortable with them at first, but later believed in them as guardians from the old gods even after robb had lost his own faith. and once again, we know she's right even if she doesn't know the evidence to back up her instincts, bc summer and shaggydog did not fail bran and rickon and robb was almost certainly a warg like his brothers. (perhaps making it more fitting that she's the one brought back as a fantasy vengeance monster, not ned and robb, the most unbelieving dead starks.) and in her 2nd agot chapter, everyone focuses on her ambition in wanting ned to agree to the hand job (pun intended) and sansa's betrothal, and while she does recognize the value of their daughter being a future queen more than ned does, that's only her stated argument bc she thinks it's rational enough for ned to listen to. (if ambitious matchmaking were as important to her as to her father she never would have made those frey betrothals fandom loves to blame her for.) in her own head there's a deeper urge driving her. she keeps thinking of the dead direwolf with antlers in its throat, an omen which filled her with dread from the first she heard of it, before robert's arrival, and thinking of it again is what makes her desperate to convince ned not to refuse robert. she had to make him see. and really, she's not wrong, as jon snow would say. the dead direwolf was an omen of ned and robert getting each other killed. it's just one of those misread portents, with no way of knowing the danger to ned was in his loyalty to robert, not conflict with him. BUT the next time she's dealing with baratheons, she knows exactly what she's talking about. it's catelyn, not brienne, who sees the shadow slaying renly, and explains that it was stannis who did that through some dark magic. with no way of knowing how it was achieved and no prior expectation that such a thing were ever possible, she realizes with no hestitation that stannis was guilty and that his red witch was capable of pulling this off somehow. really, the only instinct of the supernatural she's wholly wrong about is her insistence that varys gathered his knowledge through some dark enchantment. however, though that might offend varys, given his own personal experience with a sorcerer, i'd say it's a reasonable assumption without knowing the dude had children moving through walls everywhere like oversized rodents. and imo it just shows she had a healthy respect and awe for varys's power which most other characters lack.
oh, oh, and let's not forget that she also believed in the curse of harrenhal, from her own childhood and the stories old nan told her kids. "and every house that held Harrenhal since had come to misfortune. Strong it might be, but it was a dark place, and cursed. 'I would not have Robb fight a battle in the shadow of that keep,' Catelyn admitted." sure, that wasn't enough to save robb, but he did not die from the curse of harrenhal. that doom was meant for his enemies from tywin lannister to roose bolton.
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Okay but it's super interesting how
Din = Power = Ganondorf
Naryu = Wisdom = Zelda
Farore = Courage = Link.
Because Din, in the hylian creation myth, created the physical world. Naryu then created the laws - gravity, time, etc. And Farore finally created life - plants and people.
Din created the body, naryu the mind, Farore the soul.
And the triforce and its wielders so perfectly reflect that.
Ganon is physical power, he is big and intimidating and he breaks things. He is cunning and determined, but that's not what he focuses on. He is might makes right.
Zelda is wisdom and cleverness. She is stall tactics and information and team work. She is a powerful mage with a spine of steel, but that's not how she'll win. She is the pen being mightier than the sword.
Link is courage and persistence. He is the wild card sneaking behind enemy ranks, always moving, plunging into terrifying situations head first. He's a phenomenal fighter with a keen wit, but that's not what will get him through his challenges. He is bravery not being the absence of fear but the triumph over it.
They sit in perfect parallels to each other.
And ganon is reborn through his body - his resurrection is immortality. No matter how low he is cast, as long as he has a body he can claw his way back. He can cling to his power, build it ever higher.
Zelda is reborn through the magic of her bloodline. It's the accumulated knowledge handed down for generations, the unique power she must master, the skills she must develop to survive and get her kingdom out the other side intact. Even her name, the knowledge of herself, is handed down from all the way from the very first. Her ancestors knowledge of her future presence, her stability, is what gives her the edge.
Link is reborn in spirit. He is not bound by flesh or blood. Just like his wanderlust soul he can reappear in any time or place. His variation, his unpredictability, is exactly how he fights. It's what makes him so hard to pin down.
Ganons need to build strength means he can't chase after link. Links impulsiveness means zelda can outwit him. Zeldas stationary predictability means she's an easy target for ganon.
But the other direction?
Fire melts ice, ice redirects lightning, lightning burns fire.
And that's the very essence of the triforce.
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So there’s a trend that I absolutely hate in online discussions of (non-satirical) genre, particularly genre that’s influenced by the gothic. This trend makes my eyes roll back in my head until I can see through my own skull. It makes me want to bite a car in half. It makes me want to step into the jellyfish tank at the New York Aquarium and beg for the sweet sweet annihilation of a thousand stings.
I call this trend: Oh Just Be Sensible, and it goes like this:
“Why do vampires always end up covered in blood when they feed, I don’t spill soup all down the front of my shirt when I eat dinner. Real toddler energy.”
“Why do people always cut their hands to swear oaths, everyone knows it would hurt way less on the [insert body part with fewer nerve endings]”
“Vampires shouldn’t be feeding from people’s wrists, it damages the tendons, if doctors don’t take your blood from your wrist, vampires shouldn’t either! No one will be able to flex their fingers the next day.”
(This comes up a lot with vampires, I mention, as I stride purposefully into the glistening mass of jellyfish.)
There are direct answers for some of these when it comes to the practical visual language of a particular medium (for example, you cut your hand on stage / on set because you can hold a blood pack in there, and even if you don’t have an effect, the gesture and its purpose can be discerned from the nosebleeds) but what really gets me is how thematically boneheaded this sort of observation is.
Like, let’s go down the list here.
Why do vampires end up covered in their victims’ blood? Well Scoob, do you think it could maybe have something to do with their bestial, inhuman nature? Or with the erotic and sensual abandon with which they can approach violence, now that they’re untethered from human morals?
Why do people cut their hands to swear oaths? Aside from what I mentioned above, do you think maybe it’s because it adds a layer of gravity to see two people swearing an oath to one another with blood dripping from their clasped hands? Do you think it’s maybe to evoke a unity of body, something greater and more primal than a unity of word? Or maybe to remind us of the dire consequences of breaking a blood oath?
Why are authors having vampires feed from people’s wrists if it damages their tendons? Damn, maybe that’s because it’s where the pulse is. You know, the pulse? The heartblood, the thing that races when you’re scared or turned on or both? The thing that stutters when you’re close to death and could, should the author choose, ring in the vampire’s ears like a chime or a great pounding thunderclap. Maybe in a story about undead beings who drink blood, we can sacrifice a bit of sensible reality in order to enforce the emotion and thematic heft of a scene?
Images like these communicate what is happening between two characters, not just the events that are transpiring! No one making stories forgot to consider ~sensible~ little observations, because it would be absolutely inane to consider an observation with the creative value of a wet paper towel. This stuff is part of our visual language for a reason! Themes also need to be communicated!
God, like, okay, I’m exhausted and the aquarium staff keeps yelling at me when they find me here, but let me just wrap up by saying that relationships, character and meaning are expressed in so many ways beyond dialogue or internal monologue, and those expressions are so rarely sensible.
(Also all this shit looks cool as hell, do you really want your protagonists swearing to die for one another by dabbing their slightly bleeding elbows together, grow up.)
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