#just take a random lyric and BAM

[reinafish]

Bull In The Bronx is literally just full of writing prompts

[604to647]

✨Anniversary and Follower Milestone Celebration and Giveaway!✨

A little over a year ago, I returned to my old photography blog and repurposed it to what you see today - purging all my old followers (including the sex bots 🥹) and started from scratch and now... OMIGOD?! 😭😭😭 I've recently passed a follower milestone that seems unbelievable to 1 year ago Emily who screenshot when her post got 11 notes and sent it to Mr. 604 so excited (oblivious that one of those likes was me liking on accident 😂). I love you all so dearly for visiting me and reading my silly stories - every interaction and follow has been treasured. Sometimes I still can’t believe y’alls kindness towards me 🫣🥰

At this time last year, I also started writing my first fic, which has turned into my longest running series: Safest with You. Some of you have been with me and this series since the very beginning and I couldn’t be more grateful - the first one shot, Carnival Fright Night, was posted Oct. 13/2023 and Ch. 1 followed on Nov. 10/2023. Now one full year later, we've wrapped it up with the Epilogue😭😭😭

To celebrate, I would love to do two things:

1) A Giveaway! Everything in the first pic (full description below the cut) will be sent to one lucky winner! You don’t have to follow me or have read any of my fics - all you have to do to enter is say something nice about someone in our community. You can leave it in a comment or a reblog of this post, or send me an ask (with 🎁) - BAM! You’re entered 😁. No one needs to follow me - I just love it when people hype each other up and spread positivity 💕

2) Nonsense Outros. The first piece of writing I ever posted wasn’t actually a fic but song lyrics 😂🤭 specifically, Sabrina Carpenter Nonsense Outros inspired by Pedro characters 😂 They are silly and challenging to write and I want to do some more! If you want, please send me an Ask with 🎶 for a character or a link to a fic (it can be yours, someone else’s if they’re ok with it, or you can request one of mine even!) - I will read it (if I haven’t already!) and write you an Outro for the PBoi in the fic/character (or try, anyways! 😁)

You can do both if you want! And as many times as you want 🥰 until Monday, December 2, 2024.

Thank you thank you all again! 💋

It’s been a great year here with you all 🥹🥂🥂

Giveaway prize includes: Din Djarin magnet, postcard and washi tape, Barón Tovar Takes a Wife holographic keychain, Safest with You washi tape, one (1) copy of Pedro fan magazine, one (1) copy of Vanity Fair 30th Hollywood Issue, one (1) customized Pedro photocard holder (I will make you one based on your fave colours/themes and I also have a bunch of photocards for you to choose from or I can make you one from a photo you send!).

I am happy to pay for shipping and will ship internationally from Canada (when the strike is over), but yes it means you have to provide me an address. I am active in a collectibles trading community on IG and can provide references if it makes you feel more comfortable in doing so👍🏻.

Winner will be selected randomly via the Excel random number generator in the first week of December 2024. This giveaway isn't administered, sponsored, endorsed by, or associated with Tumblr.

Tagging a few lovely people to help spread the word and/or may be interested 🥰😘:

@aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @yopossum @almostfoxglove @sawymredfox

@inept-the-magnificent @jeewrites @jessthebaker @nerdieforpedro @joelalorian

@magpiepills @secretelephanttattoo @joelmillerisapunk @holacia3 @galaxyedging

@tuquoquebrute @whirlwindrider29 @pedroswife69 @pedges-world @ghotifishreads

@penvisions @jobean12-blog @auteurdelabre @angiewatson @morallyinept

@mermaidgirl30 @arcanefox207 @baronessvonglitter @grogusmum @ace-turned-confused

@furiousmushroom @cheekychaos28 @72scsuze @toobsessedsstuff @mellymbee

@that1nerd-20 @alltheotps @evolnoomym @greenwitchfromthewoods @maievdenoir

@hipabbster23 @bitccchmood @bigbutchenergee @rainbowcat164 @the-strawberrythief

@johnssherlock221 @misstokyo7love @vivian-pascal @florxdexcerezo @fanficlover1414

@rarachelchel @heartbrokenlilbitch-nef @sunnytuliptime @kulekehe @guelyury

@rav3n-pascal22 @sjc7542 @kilamonster @mandoshoney @syd-djarin

@moonlessnight14 @lucienofthelakes @heareball @lillaydee @yorksgirl

@sheepdogchick3 @desert-fern

[hetalimagines]

General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)

Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!

He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!

He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.

“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”

(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)

Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.

He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.

He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.

His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!

He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.

He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.

He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.

Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.

He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.

He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.

Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.

He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.

Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.

He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.

This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.

He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.

He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!

He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.

Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.

He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.

A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!

He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!

If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.

Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.

He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.

Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.

You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!

He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.

“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter

He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.

He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.

Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.

Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.

[skepticism105]

First off, your art is EVERYTHING TO ME!!!! AAAAAA I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!! ❤️😍🫶

Secondly, I was going to ask if you have any headcannons for Aphrollomes? (also the ship name is just 😘👌)

I’m so happy that my art brings you so much joy!!! Thankyou!!!

As for your question, *cracks knuckles* I’m glad you asked.

I’ve already mentioned this but Hermes’ love language is acts of service and gift giving, Apollo’s is physical touch and words of affirmation, and Aphrodite’s love language is all of the above!

Hermes’ acts of service mainly comes from the fact that he’s always THAT GUY you go to if you want to need to run some desperate errands. When someone asks him to do something, he still does it, but for either two reasons; he needs to bcus that's his duties as the herald of the gods(willing, but neutral abt it), or he does it bcus he WANTS to(he LIKES that someone. He wants to bcus he wants to SATISFY that person). That second reason is where his acts of service is.

As for gift giving, self explanatory. But instead of buying those gifts, Hermes steals it. He finds these little adorable trinkets while fulfilling duties and thought his lovers would LOVE these. And, instead of buying it like a normal person, he puts them in his bag and flies away.

Apollo and Aphrodite know all of the gifts are stolen. Immorally wrong? Yes. Do they care? No.

As for Apollo, his love for physical touch runs DEEP, ROOTED in his soul. He needs to be physically CLOSE to his lovers or else he DIES. This comes from the fact he've seen his mortal lovers dies. so many times. Can’t even count with his own fingers. It’s kind of like an instinct for him to be in the same place with the ppl he loves is at.

I unintentionally made this more angstier than I intended. But I promise you, Apollo is just a very clingy guy.

Aphrodite and Hermes finds this very endearing. Mwah.

Also random headcanon; Artemis absolutely HATES physical touch. The only people she allows physical touch is from her brother, their mother, and her huntress friends.

Apollo’s word of affirmations comes from the fact that he’s the god of music. Music has lyrics. Lyrics are words. Bam! Words of affirmation.

Aphrodite, being the goddess of love, everything she does is an act of love. But if I were to pick, hmmm I guess physical touch, words of affirmation and quality time.

I imagine her as a pretty touchy gal. Not as touchy as Apollo, but pretty close! The warmth of bodies being near each other brings some peace into her soul.

She absolutely LOVES giving nicknames to practically anyone and anything. My love, my sweet, darling, you name it!

A small headcanon(projection); quality time is PEAK for her. Possibly her favourite way of showing love out of the 5 love languages.

Her go-to hangout is one of those classic tea parties with fancy tables and teacups in her fancy palace.

She and Apollo have frequent tea party hangs out!! And they talk abt how absolutely smashable Hermes is.

Y’know while I’m typing this out, I think Hermes’ love language would also be quality time.

He has so many tasks and so little time to hangout with his lovers… yeah, he cherishes every second of their presence.

Hermes’ nicknames given from his lovers are little bird, little messenger, Herms, little lyre(Apollo’s fav)

Apollo’s are sunny, polly, pollo, blondie

Aphrodite’s are dite, dove, doll, my pearl

They have more nicknames, but these are the ones I mainly use when writing hehe

Hermes and Aphrodite both have curly hair but have DIFFERENT hair care routine.

Aphrodite takes care of her long Rapunzel ahh hair like it’s her beloved child. While Hermes washes them once a day and hope for the best… Aphrodite is the reason his hair still looks pleasantly decent.

Speaking of hair, Apollo would have random strands of curly hair clinging on his head, skin and even inside mouth. He can guess which belongs to who.

Hermes is not a fan of preening his own wings. So, he finds every excuse in the world to have Aphrodite and Apollo do it for him.

“Come on, don’t these wings look like they need some serious preening?”

“Ugh, I’m too lazy to preen them myself! But if you were to help me���”

It stressed Apollo out seeing those feathers all ruffled up. The fact that Hermes can tell he wants to preen them so badly stresses him out even more.

Aphrodite doesn’t mind preening them. Though, she does tickle those wings as ‘punishment’ for having her do it.

Hermes’ wings are extremely ticklish. A trait that both Aphrodite and Apollo finds absolutely endearing. They tickle the hell out of them feathery thangs everytime he acts like a brat.

These three. LOVES. cuddling. The amount of times I’ve drawn them cuddling is insane.

Whenever Aphrodite’s on her period, she clings to Apollo like her life depends on it bcus Apollo is so warm(god of the sun, and all that).

Apollo can’t even play his music with Aphrodite wrapping her limbs around his body(not that he minds).

And finally, Hermes’ favourite musical is The Greatest Showman(projection). When he alongside Apollo and Aphrodite watched it for the first time, he fell in love, absolutely HEAD OVER HEELS for it(projection). Ever since then, he forces the two to watch that movie together every time they have marathon night(projection).

Holy shitttt that’s a lot of words. Uhh if you want more, ask away! I always have more ^^

[dearjackass]

————

Quick disclaimer! The following fanfic is a work of fiction and inspired by the song ‘Teenagers’ by My Chemical Romance. The characters, though based on the Jackass crew, are fictionalized for the purpose of the story.

Enjoy cuties xx

————

Jackass x Reader: “Teenage Dirtbags”

————

You were a bit of an enigma to the crew. Not because you didn’t fit in, but because you were so much a part of it. Growing up with the original Jackass crew felt like living in a constant state of chaos, but it was your chaos, the only kind you knew how to deal with. The energy of the crew, full of reckless stunts, wild laughter, and those infamous insane pranks, was your energy.

Your friends—Johnny, Steve-O, Bam, and the others—knew you as that fearless girl with a twisted sense of humor who could hang with the guys in every situation. But lately, things had felt a little… different. Like something was shifting, just beneath the surface, and you couldn’t help but feel it. Maybe it was the pressure of getting older, the weight of being in the spotlight, or the fact that, for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel untouchable.

That day, everything seemed amplified. The energy of the crew was buzzing, louder than ever. You could feel the chaos in your chest as you stood with them outside a random warehouse, trying to psych yourself up for whatever ridiculous stunt Johnny had come up with.

“Come on, Y/N, don’t tell me you’re gonna sit this one out!” Bam teased from the side, tossing a rock in the air as he caught it in his hand.

“I’m just here for the drama,” you quipped back, smirking. “You guys have no idea what you’re about to get yourselves into.” You knew you were in for something wild.

Johnny, ever the daredevil, was already hyping up the situation. “Alright, alright, so for this next bit, we’re gonna see who can withstand the most pain while riding a shopping cart down this massive hill.” He looked at you. “Y/N, you in or what?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I mean, you think I’d miss this? It’s not every day you get to get absolutely wrecked on camera.”

Steve-O jumped in with a grin. “She’s got that reckless energy. Like, if you’re gonna do something stupid, you know she’s already ahead of you.”

“Hell yeah,” you laughed, a little darkly. The thought of this being “stupid” didn’t even cross your mind. It was just another day in the life of the Jackass crew, where the rules of sanity didn’t apply.

As you all geared up, the loud guitar riff of My Chemical Romance’s “Teenagers” blared from Johnny’s truck speakers, and the lyrics hit too close to home:

“They’re gonna clean up your looks, with all the lies in the books, to make a citizen out of you.”

Bam rolled his eyes. “You seriously think this song fits right now? We’re about to get wrecked on camera. We’re not citizens.”

“Exactly,” you muttered under your breath, almost in sync with the music. “We’re just teenagers, man, and we’ll never grow out of it.”

——

The hill loomed ahead, the wind was whipping in your face as you gripped the shopping cart’s handle with a mix of excitement and the faintest pulse of anxiety. There was something about the chaos, the unpredictability of it all, that made your heart race faster than the actual stunt ever could.

“Alright, who’s gonna go first?” Johnny asked, eyes glinting with that familiar devil-may-care gleam.

“I’ll go,” you said. You didn’t hesitate. Hesitation didn’t exist here.

The crew cheered as you hopped into the cart, and without another word, you were pushed, sent flying down the hill with nothing but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.

And then it hit. The world spun, the rush of adrenaline taking over, and for a moment, you felt like you were floating. There was nothing but you, the cart, and the wind slapping your face as the ground blurred beneath you.

But that’s when things took a turn. You lost control, and with a sickening jolt, the cart flipped over, sending you tumbling into the gravel.

For a split second, everything was quiet, the world hazy as you lay there, catching your breath. Your body throbbed, but you grinned despite it all. You didn’t care. You were still alive.

“Y/N!” Steve-O shouted, running toward you, his face a mix of concern and thrill. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, dude,” you said, getting to your feet, dusting off your knees with a laugh. “Nothing’s broken. Just a little bruised. But, you know, that’s what we do.”

Johnny slapped you on the back, harder than necessary. “You’re insane, but I love it.”

The group gathered around, laughing and joking as you dusted yourself off. But for a second, as the laughter echoed in your ears, you found yourself hearing the chorus of Teenagers once more:

“They’re gonna tell you that you’re lucky, but you’re just not.”

And you felt it. The truth. The reckless abandon of being a part of this crew was exhilarating, but you were just a teenager—a kid, even if you didn’t always feel like one. You were only ever running from the weight of growing up.

“You good?” Bam asked, his usual sarcastic tone replaced with something a little softer.

“Yeah,” you said, forcing yourself to shake off that feeling. “I’m good. I mean, who wouldn’t be when you’re surrounded by idiots?”

Johnny laughed. “Hey, we’re the best idiots you’ll ever meet.”

You winked. “You say that now. But when I’m the one driving you all to therapy in a few years, we’ll see who’s laughing then.”

——

Later that night, the crew was gathered around a bonfire, as usual, the flames dancing in the dark, throwing distorted shadows on everyone’s faces. There was a sense of camaraderie, a bond that could only be built through shared moments of chaos.

And in that moment, as the song played softly in the background—now a faded anthem of wild youth—you realized something.

Maybe you were just a teenager in the eyes of the world. But with these people? This crew? You were forever untouchable.

“Hey, Y/N,” Steve-O called out, offering you a beer. “Wanna take on the world tomorrow?”

You grinned and took the beer. “Only if it involves shopping carts and pain.”

And just like that, you were back in your element, the world too small to cage you, and the crew too wild to ever let go.

————

xoxo jackass

[mythochondrion]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 RANT: SUPER BOWL Eps.

After unconsciously singing along for a while, I just realized that Super Bowl's lyrics are in English 🤦 I just read the lyrics for the first time™ and I need to unload my FEELINGS

Maknae on Top is having an epic God Syndrome power trip 😎

Everything you craving, yeah, it's all me

Everything invented, that was all me, yeah

Seungmin's RAPPING feels like a gate to another reality

Mixin' this and all that, dish be lookin' like fusion

Take a photo, it's bussin' even in lowest resolution

The Honorary 4thRacha is rockin' 😖 (I.N. is having another bout of EPIC following this but let's talk about that later down the rabbit hole)

Idols can't just simply 🤏 CURSE

Why does Han's line

Our dish here's so bussin'

sounds like Ah this shit's so bussin'

Chan gets away with the MinSung's fingers counting results [👍|🖕] (CHEESE) and in the course, we'll be drivin' so rough (Drive), now he's wilding 🫠✨

Once again, thank you Lee Know (and Seungmin too) for being our thirst ambassador 🙏

Following:

You can't resist it (Charmer)

I want it more, I need it more (VENOM)

Don't make me bad, make me bad, I'm addicted to you (TASTE)

Now we have:

You feel it in your system, you want it more

I know Seungmin also sings this line too, but seriously, Lee Know's version sounds sultrier 😵😵‍💫

Felix might actually be aware of his crime against humanity me

Came for a bite, now you're so addicted, yeah, thank you, come again

Like, I became Stay because I stumbled upon his Maniac part on a random TikTok edit in July of 2022 which led me to witness certain mesmerizing pair of thighs 😳 then 🤯 BAM: my maiden voyage in stanning KPop Group.

ME HAVING GESTALZERFALL ALL WEEK 🫥

Ah~

Now I know why I.N. was a little sad that in GO LIVE, Super Bowl as God's Menu 1.0, is replaced by God's Menu (God's Menu 2.0), my a lot of sad about Lino's severe lack of presence in God's Menu aside, I.N.'s lines in Super Bowl are all pretty power trippy 😎✨

Scrolling through your feed, you see me cookin' up your timeline

I eat up everybody's like and share, hottest trend, ha

Also this particular Han's part

I'll do it again, just the way you want it

I'll do it again for the days to come

somehow feels similar to that of my scars, I'll show it all in Scars 🤔 Is this a HanJi thing?!🧐 Where dedication and desperation just 🫂

Nuance-wise,

Super Bowl is a marriage between 3RACHA (by 3Racha) and HEYDAY, that locked and loaded energy while proudly parading facts thingy, but dragged outside 3Racha-only "playground" and shared the OT8 way (then letting VocalRacha handle the epics). Such case makes it somewhat similar to CHEESE. However the ASMR fest during its choruses is mostly the casually sexy trademark of DanceRacha, which only became a thing after TASTE (oops).

[keefsteef]

soooo i know i’m already lining your inbox with my reblogs but i simply MUST know your favorite song off of each van halen album 🤩 !!! you can also tell me the songs you aren’t particularly partial to as well if you wanttt but no pressure 🤭🤭🤭

ilyyyy and keep dragging our dearest boys through the mud 😍😍😍

HI XOXOX ✨🤩✨

This was SO DIFFICULT 😭☠️ but anyway let's get into ittt...

VAN HALEN:

I am 100% a trooper for ain't talkin bout love. I do sometimes cheat on her for jamies cryin...but I always come home 😩‼️ I just can't ever get over the riff, the bassline, the drums, and David sounded SO REALLL!

It forever will have me by the ankles 🛐. As for what I didn't like on the album, I really don't have a song in particular. I know I had to warm up to atomic punk, but even before warming up to it I still did quite enjoy it.

VAN HALEN II:

OUTTA LOVE AGAIN 😩‼️I looooove when I can clearly hear David is full on feeling himself and confident, and I think it really shines here. And lmaooo I don't know what sort of pokey poke tappity tap shizzle frazzle bam bam Edward even did on that solo, but whatever it was, unsecured my edges 🛐 he DID THAT. I also found the drums and bass a slay.

Light Up The Sky also had a PRETTTYYYYY SNATCHWORTHY FALSETTO MOMENT ON IT THOUGH 😩 I'll give David a win there. As for a track I didn't like, once again, not really one I didn't like.

FAIR WARNING:

Push Comes To Shove is my wife and we frequently go out to dinner and take lavish yacht trips 😩❤️ I love her so 🌼

No but seriously...I don't like it when people say David couldn't ever sing because PERSONALLYYYY this is an example that that's absolutely not the truth. He was so wonderfully husky here, and that outro where he went AHHHHH or whatever, was the moment.

Edward did his thing with the guitar on this song too, I can't ever get the solo out my mind, I even hear it while buying butter or whatever 😭☠️ the bassline and drums were also stellar, and I love how the lyrics seem a bit more invasive than usual. To ME it sort of contradicts David's "lol I don't take relationships seriously" monicker...

Babe clearly someone hurt you , we all hear it 😭‼️

One foot out the door pissed me off a little because it's too fucking good to be that damn SHORT ! 👺... BUT once again... nothing I had any particular qualms with.

WACF:

Loss of control is my ride or die 🤩, It sort of to me just wraps up van halen as a whole. It feels all over the place, anxiety inducing (like David's fashion), and chaotic. Them-core. Plus Alexander beat those drums like they talked shit about his mama 😩 I enjoyed that.

I will admit that I am a recovering everybodywantssomehater 💔 it used to make me feel like David was chasing me through some Amazon forest trying to make me drink an elixir, and I was NOOOOT FEELING ITTTTT. BUT... around the 13th listen I decided you know what, open your mind, it's not that bad, and I like the song now.

Mostly just for the guitar but 😭 I'll come around.

I'm now realizing I fucked up the order of albums but I do not feel like doing all the copy pasting and moving around 🔪 so let's proceed...

DIVER DOWN:

Secrets my beloved...I've found that I love when David SINGS. His messing around and random screeching is cute and cool or whatever, but I trulyyyy enjoy when he shows versatility vocally. I loved what he vocally did here. Michael, Edward and Alexander ate as per usualllll that's no surprise, but David really is what swayed me to this song.

Not that I don't like itttttt but I'm still warming up to oh pretty woman. I think I've just got to be in the mood for it. Or maybe I'm so accustomed to the Roy version, I don't know, but I'll keep updated hahaha.

1984:

GIRL GONE BAD! I LOOOOVE the guitar drums and bass here, David did his thing. I haven't got much else to say in depth , but this one I definitely listen to more than jump. Nothing on the album I've got qualms with...

5150:

Dreams 🥴, Samuel SANGGGG and did what he needed to do, and I loved that Edward got to do his thing with the keyboards. I also love the songs message! I also enjoy best of both worlds though...

I NEEEEED to re-listen to the last 4 albums actually before I decide on those, I'll be sure I make a separate post about it 🤩❤️ thank you for the ask and I DEFINITELY WILL CONTINUE TO DRAG THEM TO FILTHHHH 👺👺👺👺 love yew too

[bonkersbabe]

Groovin' to the Beat: My Journey as a Music Lover with a Twist

Hey there, fellow music enthusiasts! Let me take you on a wild and whimsical ride through my life as an audiophile with a little twist—I'm neurodivergent. You know that feeling when you listen to music, and it's like a rollercoaster for your emotions? Yep, that's me all the time. Positive vibes, sad tunes, or anything in between, music hits me like a ton of bricks. It's like my heart's on speed dial to my brain, ready to react to every beat, melody, or lyric. And let me tell you, listening to music can send my emotions on a wild ride faster than you can say "rock 'n' roll."

So picture this: I'm just chillin' with my headphones on, tunes cranked up. Suddenly, a song starts, and it's like a switch flips inside me. If it's a happy tune, I'm grinning from ear to ear, dancing like nobody's watching (even though they totally are). But if it's a sad one, well, get ready for the waterworks. It's like I've been transported into a movie scene, and I'm feeling all the feels.

Now, let's talk about gear. Oh boy, gear is my jam! Headphones, speakers, you name it, I've probably tested it. It's like a treasure hunt for the perfect sound. When I find a new pair of headphones, it's like Christmas morning. I plug them in, hit play, and bam! It's a whole new world of sound. My friends might not get why I'm so obsessed, but hey, everyone's got their quirks, right?

And speaking of quirks, my playlists are a bit, well, special. They're not just a random collection of songs; they're my emotional toolkit. Feeling down? I've got a playlist to lift your spirits. Need a good cry? There's one for that too. It's like having a musical therapist in your pocket. Music is my go-to for every mood, and it's always there when I need it most.

So, there you have it, folks. Being an audiophile with a neurodivergent twist is like being on a perpetual emotional rollercoaster, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Music is my ride or die, my therapist, and my constant companion. It's the soundtrack of my life, and every note is a reminder that sometimes, being a little different makes the music sound all the sweeter. Groove on, my fellow music lovers, and let those emotions flow with the beat! 🎶🕺💃

[a-s-levynn]

I realize there is probably some missing context for a lot of you and i can’t shut up about Sleep Token even if i want to so... cue me and my long ass rants. The long and short of it is that @reveries-of-my-mind​ brought up a few days ago that Atlantic from 2:55 on sounds like whale song. Which it definitely does.

And this was a sort of epiphany for me because i always got the mental image of a whale fall from this song. Especially with the rest of the album following.

I put a cut in here because it's long but the text under it gives a lot of context to this drawing. It's kind of a messy explanation but i just.. i had to get it out in it's entirety for once.

At first i though it was due to the submerging feeling sound right before the aformentioned part that gave me the idea of something.. well.. submerging. And the lyrics to Atlantic, well.. ya know.. puts the idea of something not being exactly alive out there. I know it's not exactly that but my brain doesn't see details when it creates a bigger picture. So my brain put the three things together and bam. Dead whale drifting down into the darkness.

And then the rest of the album happens. And for me this entire album is like... it’s a manifestation and thorough exploration of the low point. The emotional darkness and all of it’s aspects. Small little thing scuttling about in darkness no matter how weird and unsettling they may seem.

So the entire album for me is basically the whale and Atlantinc is when it descends. The rest of the songs are the various creatures that creep in when it reaches the ocean bed and live under it, from it, off it and after it. Like i was able to kinda put it to words before:

life finds a way in the weird and the grotesque and the objectively ugly and morbid, and even if we can't see it at first, it moves around in the dark, eventually getting out, however long it takes. Just like the creatures from under a whale carcass. It is an end but also beginnings. Because something big and probably old, full of life and experience dies but so many little things are born and grow under and off of it. So many small things begin from that darkness, from that dead thing. 

It is like when after something really bad happens you hit the low point. It feels like something big, heavy and dead is falling in water into the abyss. And ever so slowly you start to explore that darkness, try to pick up the pieces maybe feed on the past experiences a bit and at the end of it you are going to emerge different, maybe not exactly whole, maybe just as an amalgamation of little things for now but it is a start of a new beginning. Aaat least for me it was and is something like that. Can’t put it to words better than this but this is the closest i can get.

So this is the entirety of what this song and album makes me feel on the big picture. There are individual small stuff the other songs give me but we are talking about Atlantic here mostly. And that is why it is going to be my favourite album opener for probably a very long time -regardless of it being my favourite ST song to date for.. various reasons-. Because before this i never had such a strong connection to an image that a song gave me.

Also @reveries-of-my-mind i'm so sorry for tagginig you this much, i just don't want to take away credit where it is due, because without you the drawing might not have ever happend sooo yeah.. thank you for indulging me with your replies about this whole thing the other day. I can't express how much it means because i haven't had drawn anything, not even a random doodle in months and i haven't had a pencil in my hand for years. So my gratitude is kind of inexplainable. 🙏🏻

[gomgeomeogmeogmy]

Random Charlie headcanons/crack headcanons

He once tried to learn how to breakdance and messed up a step which resulted in him breaking his elbow and having to have Neil drive him to the hospital

He’s actually pretty good at singing, he just chooses not to do it often because he thinks he’s bad

Along with the Saxophone and Clarinet, he can play the harp

His grandma had one at her house and he would just practice whenever he got bored so now he knows how

If you want to calm him down all it takes is the Minecraft soundtrack. It knocks him out SO fast

Sometimes when he’s hanging out with Pitts and Meeks and they’re playing Minecraft together he’ll accidentally fall asleep wherever he is because the sounds of the game and his friends chatter just makes him feel safe and comfortable

He can fall asleep anywhere in any position no matter what

he does it out of spite sometimes, if someone tells him not to fall asleep he will go out of his way to do so and in the most awkward position too, just as an extra “fuck you”

Once fell asleep in Mr.Nolan’s office while waiting for him to come back. Nolan was gone literally 5 minutes

He has those glow in the dark stars on his ceiling and he counts them when he can’t fall asleep

Even though he’ll never admit it, he has ALOT of little details memorized about all of his friends.

Obviously he knows their favorite soda, candy, color etc, but I mean he has their favorite weather, temperature, style of clothing, specific breeds of animals they love, that kind of thing memorized too

Literally all it takes is them mentioning that they like something around him once and bAM he has it memorized for the rest of his life

He had a pet pigeon when he was a kid. It was literally a wild pigeon that he somehow caught and brought inside and it just fuckin went with it

It lived happily with him for 3 years before it passed away. It’s name was Clyde

Now everytime Charlie sees a pigeon while outside, he’ll just point and say “it’s Clyde!” Or “it’s Clydes brother!” Just as a joke (and because he really misses that pigeon, man)

A god at just dance.

He can do the Rasputin just dance without looking, perfectly on beat and everything

Because he can talk so fast so easily, he’s really good at rapping any and every song he hears

It only takes him like 2/3 listens to learn the lyrics too, it’s pretty impressive how quickly he catches on

He has 3 different colored lava lamps in his house

He buys random lamps/lights impulsively almost every time he goes to the store, so now his house is just filled with a bunch of oddly shaped lamps and a bunch of different kind of string lights

Literally has a crow brain. He sees shiny thing he buys shiny thing, that simple

[youranxiousnerd]

Spring Break Thoughts

bc i want to get stuck in an airport and break into first class

spoilers below

EJ DOING THE INTRO

the most...profound intro?

“maybe it’s really about other people” looks at gina

i have jumped on the portwell train

when i first saw they were doing zoom backgrounds i was not on board, but they’ve grown on me carlos’ sucks

miss jenn and the zoom backgrounds

NI NI HEL LO

nini didn’t you get cut?

you know miss jenn they could get together out side of school (at least the kids who are here)

olivia is so pretty

aww carlos called miss jenn his madrina

HA I KNEW IT OF COURSE CARLOS INVITED SEB

seblos tension, ill get to that later

they’re so passive aggressive guys i love it

ASH AND EJ

CASWELL COUSINS YESSS

“You guys are watching like, old, old movies”

“This is why we’re soulmates” the redyln goal has been reached bye

this...this is the only line they get?

miss jenn has obviously not gotten the memo

three weeks and you havent blocked act two

“not it”

of course sebby is the last one to leave

“bye” awww miss jenn

GINA THAT LITTLE GIG YESSSS

just one complement after another ej

AHHHH EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YESSSSS

he looks so good ej should do it more often

ej fell hard guys

jack in the background doing tik toks i cant

gina and signs

RICKY IN A BLANKET

ugh its lynne

i dont care enough to spell her name right

“just being a burrito here”

bitter ricky, i feel ya

“I’m sorry to hear that’s it over” *smiles*

nini you should have just posted a video

ope empty notebook

awww ej’s insta

gina and jack

thats it

“she changed her name” nina is literally her real name 

the leg pull away

ricky and bedding is my new favorite ship besides therapy

“Your boy Jack”

when i first saw the promo for this nini scene i was worried it was gonna be another solo (shes had like 16)

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A RAINBOW HEART

my gay heart is bursting

nina really said “rainbows are awesome” this episode

and the necklace is off

guys i love improv scenes

it was so goood

soooo howie and kourt just get no closure after that killer song last week? no nothing? 

BAHAHAHA KOURTNEY BREAKING UP

i love kourtney

sofia is so pretty

okay i dont ship jack and gina but they’re fun together, little chaos demons

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT AHHHH

“my friends, like, my castmates, they think it sucks what you did on opening night”

good talk, long overdo. nothing is solved by any means but little steps

the therapy line omfg 

“HI, CUPCAKE”

“I’ll meet you in the pool” there is an ocean right behind you

 “Don’t ask me”

“Ashlyn, Big Red, Miss. Jenn, Carlos”

the way seb’s face just DROPS when he mentions carlos

“Are you guys fighting” big red looked so happy omfg

“That would imply that we’re speaking”

“Who has time to talk when you’re busy posting selfies with random guys in a cabana”

guys i had to pause for five minutes because i was dying

jealous seb... where did you come from?

ALRIGHT IT IS TIME TO TALK ABOUT SEBLOS!!!!

first off, it seems the writers love to make major seblos things happen off screen. examples include there pinning and officially getting together

where... where did all this tension come from? it has been light the past two episodes then bam, everything they say to each other is bitter. since when is seb jealous? the writers have so many other conflicts to talk about and they choose jealous seb? off all thing?!?! im honestly kind of disappointed because there are so many other things to talk about from previous episodes and instead they choose this?!?!?! hopefully this isn’t the only thing that is addressed next week, it cant be. they better talk about the constant “no seb” because its an issue. 

moral of the story is i hope the fight next episode isn’t about seb being jealous bc there is so much more to talk about

i am loving passive aggressive seb like i hope that doesn’t go away when their conflict is resolved bc it’s awesome

HERE are my thoughts on the zoom call

okay seb’s line about doing public makes sense with the full episode

everyone on the call is just like “wtf happened to my otp”

EJJJJ

EJJJJ I LOVE YOU

THE BEST EJ SCENE 

“Hi Nini!” ejjjj

you have to watch the scene twice, one to watch nini and ashlyn and another for ej

EJ AND THE PUPPET THATS IT IM DONE

sassy gina i love her

guys i just love everybody

ASHLYN AND NINI I MISSED THIS DUO GAHHHHHH THEY’RE ADORABLE

ej is a child i love it

ricky i feel you with the songwriting

look at big red being best friend of the year now give him a plot line

i am under the impression jack recorded gina 

SHIT THE CANDLE TO LAMP TRANSITION YESSSSS

i love transitions and that was it

matt is ripped

julia lester showed up this season. queen shit 

she is perfect

YES BIG RED AND KOURTNEY DANCING I WANT MOREEEE

i am so confused with seb’s gloves

that has been bugging me for two days 

carlos has more style then a hawaiian shirt and khakis

im in heaven the harmonies are soooo good

they are amazing they sound so good

you can hear all there voices

julia popped off

aint seen nothin is really good, i wasn’t sure about it at first but its grown. they sound so damn good the talent they hold. not the best song but its fun

the video actually looks better than i thought it would

“Wow” me too richard

jack is fun, i’d be okay if he comes back. he is a little chaos demon.

i like how the writers didn’t make them romantic (for once), hopefully gina got his number bc i would

i want to be stuck at an airport with jack

“let you go” is genius. so far the best original song this season. josh has been killing it lately. this is the ballad ricky deserves. lyrical genius. he sounds sooo good.

the one time i agree with lynne

EJ YOU CAMEEEEEE

OMFG THEY’RE ADORABLE

PORTWELLLLLLL BABY WHOOOP

HE IS GONNA TREAT YOU SO GOOD GINA 

HE BROUGHT YOU FOOD AND TOOK YOUR BAG 

GAHHHHHH 

nOoOoOoOo thats it?!?! i cannot wait a week i refuse

i normally don’t talk about promos but episode 10 (im a sucker for sleepover episodes) is my most anticipated episode so we gonna do it. 

for starters ricky has a guitar, so he might sing?

AWW THE SETS THEY ARE SO PRETTY

ooo lily is back?

blueprint?

ashlyn and ricky where have you been?!?!

seb and the girls yesss

since in a heartbeat is next episode seb probably leaves? i hope it is a private moment

oh please talk about your other issues pleaseee

“why did i never hear about this?” nina no, it was an accident alright?

gina and nini haven’t interacted this season and the first thing they do is fight.

lets hope there “beef” doesn’t take the a slot 

maybe another seblos kiss?

did you know i love seblos

i have stocked up my tears for next week

[redqueen-hypothesis]

never strikes twice ➳ shaw (mlqc)

➳ PAIRING: reader x shaw (mlqc), mentions of reader x gavin (mlqc)

➳ WORD COUNT: 3001

➳ GENRE: angst

➳ SYNOPSIS: shaw realises that he’s a selfish bastard, but he doesn’t care as long as it means you’ll be with him

“Hey kid, want a smoke?”

Shaw looks up slowly from where he’s been moping on the couch for the better half of the night to see a cigarette stick held out to him. The person holding it, a casual drummer in his mid thirties, raises an eyebrow as he glances over at him, gesturing down at the Zippo lighter he’s been fiddling with in his hand. Steely, hooded eyes hide the barest hint of concern in their depths. “You’ve been looking down for a while now. Thought you might need a pick-me-up.”

His voice is low, almost drowned out by the raucous laughter of the rest of his band mates fiddling with the settings on the karaoke machine. Shaw cracks a half grin at the man, lavender strands falling into his eyes.

“Thanks,” he begins, stretches out over the armrest to take the stick from him, but his fingers stop just shy of brushing it. The craving gnaws at him from the inside, a small but insistent itch in his throat and lungs, but he retracts his hand in favour of shooting his band mate a lazy smile. “Nah, not today. Another time, maybe.”

Shaw hasn’t touched a cigarette in weeks now. You don’t like the scent.

The drummer shrugs and doesn’t question him, slipping the pack back into his pocket. Kicking his feet back up onto the armrests of the couch and lounging back, he watches his band mates start singing all variety of tunes into the mics. He recognizes this song, Shaw realises after a few moments. It’s the opening theme to one of a drama you’d insistent on watching with him, and although he’d hated it at the start, he now knows the lyrics by heart - all because of you.

Halfway through the song, he stops mouthing alongside the lyrics abruptly. Then he groans, low and annoyed, dragging a hand roughly through his hair. God fucking damnit.

He’d come here to clear his head, to rid himself of the thoughts of you that cling relentlessly to him. And yet, even when you’re not there, his mind is still plagued by thoughts of you.

“You look like you got something big on your mind. Need someone to spill to?” The man says casually, pouring him a glass of whiskey. The scent of alcohol is sharp on his nose and Shaw finds himself staring down into the contents of the glass, the image of himself reflected in liquid amber. The drummer slides the glass over to him across the coffee table and he catches it before it can slide off the edge.

Just when had his eyes started to look like that?

“It’s nothing.” Shaw plays it cool, pulling up one side of his mouth up in its usual devil-may-care smirk to reassure his friend. The flame of from his lighter illuminates his face for a brief second before he flips the top and extinguishes the flame once more, casting his face into shadow. “It’s nothing worth talking about.”

It’s not nothing. It’s something Shaw has spent his entire life running from, and the responsibilities and shackles that come with it. It’s an emotion that grows and sprouts in his chest, tenacious as weeds that flourish all the more he tries to stomp them out. He has bad luck with it, he knows. He’ll just fuck it up like he did his own family.

And yet slowly, steadily, it’s been consuming him no matter how much he tries to flee from it, like poison from within his veins, turning him into a different man inside out. From his waking moments and following him to his dreams, the phantom ache in his chest only hurts more the further he tries to put distance between the two of you. Shaw knows that it’s going to collapse in the end - he’s just a temporary fix in this precarious house of cards - and that’s why he’s too afraid to put a name to these feelings that refuse to just wilt and die.

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his head, Shaw grabs the glass off the table and brings it to his lips to take a long draught, craving the carelessness that comes with drink. Tonight, he decides, he’s going to get himself completely smashed, until he can’t think straight and your smile stops haunting his mind. Then maybe, maybe, he’ll stop fantasizing, long and yearning like a fool for something out of his reach - someone that never belonged to him from the very beginning.

“Is it a girl?”

The words fall from his friend’s mouth so easily that he doesn’t quite register them until the drink is halfway down his throat. Caught by surprise, he chokes on the sharp taste, the back of his throat burning like he’s swallowed lava instead, and a firm hand slaps his back while he coughs.

“Bro, you still alive over there?” One of his band mates call to him from the other side of the room. Shaw flashes a thumbs up at him weakly, dragging the back of his other hand over his mouth carelessly before he turns to shoot a glare at his friend. “The fuck was that about?”

The drummer simply shrugs, arching a brow as he leans back in his seat. “I was just throwing out something random. You were the one who screamed jackpot for the entire world to see, with that kind of reaction. What happened? You broke it off with a pretty little thing again?”

Shaw grunts, turning away to take a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle. “Shut up. I’ve never been exclusive with anyone.” The alcohol numbs the pain in his chest. “There’s nothing to break.”

“But you want something, don’t you?”

The liquid sloshes about in the bottle as Shaw pauses in raising the whiskey to his mouth, eyes narrowed as he stares down at the drummer. “Just speak your mind,” the man answers, picking up his own bottle and clinking bottoms with Shaw’s. “I’m going to get completely wasted tonight anyway, so I’m pretty sure I won’t remember anything about this conversation in the morning.”

Shaw watches in silence for a few moments, swirling the dregs at the bottom of the bottle as the man opposite him down his own. The second the empty bottle touches the table top with a soft clink, Shaw finally starts to speak, voice low.

“Have you ever felt like you’re a curse just for being born?”

The man raises an eyebrow, popping open a can of beer and nodding for him to continue. Shaw does, lifting the bottle to his lips to take a gulp. The alcohol stings the back of his throat. “If I hadn’t been born, things would probably be in a better place than they are now. Still shittier than dog crap stuck to the bottom of your shoe, of course, but less so.”

All because he was born with EVOL and the other wasn’t.

“Anyway, one of the guys whose lives I fucked up, he has a girl. She’s,” he swallows at the thought of you, searching for the words in his mind - because how does he just describe you? “-sweet, kind, all the good things in the world.” He takes another gulp for something to blame the stinging of his eyes on. “She deserves someone like him. And he needs someone like her.”

It isn’t him who’s supposed to have you. The other one has loved you first, loved you longer. Not deeper, but in a such a pure, unadulterated way that Shaw can’t help but gag every time he sees it - and wish somewhere deep in his chest that he could do the same.

Shaw’s already stolen so much from him. The spotlight since birth, the attention of their father. As much of an asshole as he is, the thought of stealing yet something else away disgusts him - just how much does he have to owe one man?

He’s seen the way you’ve looked at him sometimes, when you think he isn’t looking. It’s a bittersweet expression, as if you’re searching for someone else in him - amber eyes another shade of gold.

Shaw groans, thoroughly annoyed by the thoughts that have started spilling over into his head. “I knew talking about this would just make it worse.” He snaps, slamming the bottle down onto the table. “Fuck this. Repression works every time. Once he gets his memories back, bam, she’ll be back by his side and everything will go back to normal.”

The words are unbelievably bitter on his tongue. Oh, and he’s also definitely drunk.

The drummer hums, making a thoughtful sound as he takes a long draft of beer. When he’s finished, he turns to look at Shaw with unwavering, serious eyes. “And you’ll be alright with that?”

Shaw stills, fingers tightening around the neck of the bottle so hard he’s almost worried it might shatter in his hand. Of course it’ll be alright, he wants to say. Love is a stupid, fickle emotion that’ll die fast enough with the passage of time. He’ll drop you off with one of his smirks and walk out of your life once and for all, and go back to the life he’s always known. He was fine back then, and he’ll be fine now. He’ll be fine-

“I won’t.” Shaw utters, finally. His jaw hurts from how hard it’s clenched, and yet he still can’t think of a future for him without you in it. He hates it. “Fuck-”

“Go and tell her, then.” His friend says, raising an eyebrow. Shaw stares blankly at him for a moment. “For someone usually so forward, you’re stupidly hesitant over the most idiotic of things, kiddo.”

“I’m not a child.” Shaw snaps, and the man laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. “I know, so stop acting like one. If there’s something you want, take the chance and grab it with all your might. Being selfless like that?” The man’s grin grows. “That ain’t sound like our resident asshole at all.”

At his words, Shaw laughs boisterous and unrestrained, throwing on his jacket. “Damn straight. What the fuck was I thinking, going down without a fight?” He tosses another can of beer at the man, who catches it easily. “Make sure you chug the entire ice box. I don’t want you remembering a word I said, got it?”

His friend’s snort reaches his ears as he steps out of the apartment. “I’m already halfway there, idiot.” The streets are empty at this time of the night, the air biting cold against his skin and yet Shaw feels rejuvenated for the first time in weeks, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as he gives the night winds the middle finger.

Lightning splits the night sky in two.

>>>

It’s started to storm.

Hurriedly, you set down the book you were reading to shut the windows, hoping that none of the rain gets in. While you’re closing the windows in your living room, there’s a sudden, loud knock on the door.

Frowning when you look up at the clock (it’s two in the morning), you cross over to the door to peep through the peephole - and gasp in shock when you see Shaw standing outside, completely drenched and lavender hair dripping with rainwater.

“Oh my god, Shaw? What are you doing here at this time of the night?” You hurry to unlock the door for him, ushering him into your apartment even as he tracks in water all over the floor. He’s uncharacteristically silent. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay like this, I’ll get you a towel-”

“Wait.” He grabs you by the wrist before you can leave the room. Blinking in confusion, you turn around to look at Shaw before you realise just how close he’s standing to you - too close, in fact. So close, that you can feel the heat emanating from his body, smell the unique scent of ozone and lavender mixed with faint traces of alcohol and nicotine. Has he been out drinking? “I have something I need to say.”

You swallow at the serious tone in his voice, rarely has he ever spoken to you this way. In fact, you can’t remember a time when he’s used this tone with you, not even once. “That can wait until I’ve gotten you a towel. The air conditioning is on, you’ll fall ill. You can tell me as you dry yourself off-”

“I love you.”

You freeze in his grasp, mind suddenly blank. Shaw’s amber eyes burn so bright they look like molten gold, not the slightest trace of jest in his voice or gaze. And yet, you can’t help but tremble in his grasp, chewing on your bottom lip as you let out a shaky laugh. “Hahaha... very funny, Shaw. Now let me get a towel before you freeze to death, that would be a real joke-”

“I’m not laughing here.” Shaw’s expression is fiercely resolute, jaw set as he stares down at you. You’ve never felt so small in front of him before. “I meant what I said. I’m not trying to crack a joke.”

“B-but you can’t.” You fumble with your words, trying to take a step away and make sense of it all, but Shaw refuses to let you go, only holding your wrist tighter. “You were drinking, you don’t know what you’re saying. You can’t like me. It’s just not possible.”

“Why not?” Shaw’s voice is rough with emotion, and you can’t look away from the fierceness burning in his eyes, transfixed. “I did drink, but I’m not drunk. I know damn well what I’m saying.”

You don’t know what you’re saying now, desperate to deny his feelings. Your mind is falling apart, and forming a cohesive train of thought proves too much for you. “You’re young. You just... you don’t know what love is. You just-”

Shaw grabs your hand firmly and presses it to his chest. Under the wet material of his shirt, you can feel the heat of his skin - and the way his heart thuds fiercely beneath your touch.

“Feel this and tell me,” Shaw’s words are raw, brutally honest, leaving you nowhere to flee. You’re pinned in place by the sheer intensity of his gaze. “Tell me that I don’t know what love is. The way this heart beats whenever you’re near. The way you won’t leave my mind whether I’m sleeping or awake. I know what I want. I want you.”

A soft hiccup escapes you, your eyes welling up with tears as your fingers fist into the thin material of his shirt. “Damn it, Shaw...” you croak, voice wavering. Your own heart is pounding like crazy in your ears. “You know I can’t give you an answer, not right now...”

“I know.” Shaw says quietly, and the next moment, you’re pulled against his chest, his fingers coming to rest in your hair gently. You press your face against his shoulder, tears hot against his skin. “I’m a selfish bastard and couldn’t wait to tell you, so i just wanted to let you know. I’m not asking you to fall in love with me.”

You blink back your tears, managing a soft, hiccuping laugh as your arms tighten around his waist. “You’re such a selfless bastard, you know that? Stop making me like you even more, asshole.” He’s so warm.

“I’m not apologising for that. That’s me.” Shaw snorts into your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo as he holds you close. If you want a knight in shining armor, go to him instead. “I’m not going to be pussy footed about what I want.”

You stay in Shaw’s arms for a long moment, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed against yours and the feeling of his breaths tickling your ear. Your heart still aches for another pair of amber eyes, a gentle smile and strong, steadfast arms, but this man keeps you moving forward no matter what’s holding you down. And undeniably, there’s a tiny seed of a precious emotion growing in your chest - one that you never would have thought would be able to sprout in the bitter cold of this winter world.

You don’t know how long he continues to hold you like this, but it’s when he suddenly lets out a sneeze that you glance up in surprise and worry. “You’re catching a cold already!” You scold, trying to wriggle out of his arms. “I’m getting you a towel and some hot chocolate.”

“I don’t want to let you out.” Shaw complains, but you duck out of his arms, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. To your surprise, red flares hot under your lips, and Shaw turns away to hide his face. “Come back fast, okay? I’ll go get the kettle boiling.”

You let out a tiny giggle as he vanishes into the kitchen, tips of his ears red. “Okay, okay.”

You’re about to enter your room and grab a towel for Shaw when there’s a sudden knocking at your living room window. Confused, you move over to the window, pulling it open to see what’s causing the noise.

There’s a flurry of wind and rain, and suddenly a pair of familiar arms are pulling you hard into a firm chest, unintelligible sobs in your ears. Stunned, you can’t bring yourself to move, looking down to see a black military uniform and strikingly unforgettable amber eyes.

“Gavin.” You breathe, so soft that you can barely hear yourself over the volume of his cries. He’s crying, and he’s never cried, not in this world, not in the one before. Your hands come up instinctively to soothe him, cradling him close. But he shouldn’t be, not here, he can’t-

“I remember.” He gasps through his sobs, crushing you against his chest in a painfully familiar embrace. “I remember everything.”

That’s all you hear before a pair of warm, chapped lips take your mouth in a fierce kiss.

[instakpop]

Bambam scenario - Dress to impress

Summary: Going out to a business meeting with Bambam means you have to wear something that’ll make a lasting impression. Unfortunately, the dress you chose did just that and so much more.

Genre: Mafia!au, angst, some fluff

Being married to Bambam has been incredible. Most people just see him as a businessman with a… rough temper, but he’s so much more. You were the only woman who was able to see past all the noise of the mob and find the loyal, caring man underneath. It’s not every day that a girl who has no experience in the mafia world wins the heart of a don. And for that reason, he was protective of you. Very protective. In the few years you’ve been married, he only takes you to the “low-risk” meetings. Places like quiet business dinners, or scouting trips like tonight. 

There’s a club in the heartbeat of the city and Bambam has finally gotten the owner to partner with him. But before any contracts are signed, Bambam has to get the approval of his most trusted advisor: you. He is convinced that you have the magic touch. Bambam has quickly become the king of nightlife because every club or restaurant you’ve given you approval to, has been a roaring success. The same worked for places you didn't like. The shabby dinner on the edge of town was a hard no from you and sure enough, a gas leak caused a massive fire that burned it down. At least the police said it was a gas leak. You, on the other hand, are not so naive.

But you had a good feeling tonight. This was the club where Bambam took you on your first date. He bought you a new dress earlier in the week and this was the perfect place to wear it. You put your hair up to show off the necklace he bought you to match your wedding ring. Oh, how you love your ring. The bright blue Kashmir Sapphire took your breath away. But as he said in his vows. “For a smile that shines brighter than diamonds, you deserve a stone that’s much rarer.” The fit of the dress was snug in all the right places. You turned to each side, enjoying how slim your waist looked. Perfect.

You made your way downstairs and smirked when you saw Bambam in his suit. It wasn’t uncommon for him to wear suits, but he just cleans up so well. You came up behind him and tapped his shoulder. Turning to face you he smiled when his eyes met yours. But the loving expression was short-lived when he saw your dress.

“You’re wearing that out?” He asked.

“Of course. This is what you bought for me. I want to make a good impression.” You felt a little offended by his question, but he quickly defused your hurt feelings.

“Baby, I bought that for an intimate dinner here,  just the two of us. That way I’m the only one who can see… all this.” He grabbed your waist and pulled you to him. “And it’ll be easier to get you out of it if we’re in the comfort of our own home.”

“Bam… It’ll be fine. I’ve got this.” You waved your left hand at him, flaunting your ring. “Besides, we’re just there to check things out.”

“So long as your things don’t get checked out, I’ll be fine.” His stare was glued to your breasts, making you laugh. You leaned in to kiss him, but one of his associates interrupted.

“Sir, the car is here.” He said.

“Alright.” Bambam’s curt tone made you giggle to yourself. With a quick kiss, you took his hand and walked out to the car.

A soon as you arrived, you were both given the star treatment. The security guard outside, let you in without a word and Bambam lead you to the VIP section where a bottle of champagne was chilled and waiting for you. The bass thumped in your chest and the atmosphere was electric. Just as you remembered. 

Bambam handed you a glass and leaned into your ear. “To possibilities.” You clinked your glasses with a smile and took a sip. 

After a few minutes alone, the owner came over to greet you both. He was near 50 years-old but tried not to look it. He extended his hand straight past Bambam and to you.

“Y/n, you look ravishing as always.” He shook your hand and sent you a wink. Bambam’s hand tightened on your knee, attempting to mark his territory, but the owner clearly didn’t care.

You gave his hand two firm shakes and pulled away. “Thank you.” Draping your left his on Bambam’s arms, both showing the owner that you’re very taken and consoling Bambam. This deal is not off to a good start.

The two men shook hands and started talking business. The tension in the air faded away and you felt more comfortable as the night went on. But after two more glasses of champagne, you had to use the lady’s room. Leaning into Bambam’s ear, you excused yourself and quickly made your way around the dancefloor. 

When you finished, you were about to walk back to the VIP section when you heard your favorite song blasting through the speakers. It was remixed with a heavier bassline and mashed up with a club mix. What’s one dance? Bambam’s too busy anyway.

You moved to the beat, working further and further into the crowd. You danced around with a few other girls, enjoying the song. They must have been apart of a birthday or bachelorette party judging by their tiaras. You sang along to the lyrics and swayed around with the group. It was all fun and innocent until a pair of hands snuck around your waist.

You turned around, expecting to see your husband, but to your surprise, it was a random drunk guy. He pulled you closer to him, but you pushed away, denying him. You moved away and continued to dance, but he still tried to grind against you. You swatted them away and decided that was enough dancing for the night.

Sneaking back out of the crowd, you were suddenly stopped. Bambam appear out of thin air and had you by the wrist. His eyes were fuming and you looked past him to see the drunk guy getting up from the floor, holding his bleeding nose.

“We’re leaving. Now.” He placed his hand on the small of your back and ushered you out the door. 

The car ride home was silent. You didn’t want to say anything, because you weren’t sure if he was angry at you or the guy. Or maybe the owner said something that pushed him over the edge and what happened on the dance floor made it worse. Either way, it was better to just keep quiet.

Bambam parked the car and opened your door for you. He walked into the house and went straight for the stairs. You tried to keep up with him and broke the silence.

“Bam, just tell me what’s wrong. I didn’t mean for anything to happen. Not that anything would have happened. I was just enjoying myself while you were doing your own thing. I’m sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry.” You pleaded. But he didn’t budge. He still walked with fire in his step down the hall.

He passed by his associate in the hallway and paused. “I want everyone out of the main house.” He barked. 

He nodded at Bambam and spoke into his earpiece and ordered everyone out of the house. That usually happens at the end of each day, but never after a business meeting. Bambam typically wants to stay up and sort things out. But tonight didn’t end well.

Bambam stomped into the bedroom, headed straight for the walk-in closet. He tore off his tie and belt while you followed behind. You leaned against the door frame, watching him change into his lounge clothes.

“Bam. Talk to me. What happened?”

“I.. I just… Y/n are you happy?” His question confused you.

“Yes. Of course, I’m happy. Maybe not at this exact moment, but I’m happy being with you.”

“Sure, but what about going with me to that meeting tonight.”

“Well, yeah. I like going out with you.”

“But we didn’t really go out like a normal couple. We never do, and it’s my fault.” He walked past you and sat on the bed, rubbing his temples in frustration.

“What do you mean?” You sat next to him and laid your hand on his back.

“I’m not the normal husband that takes his wife out to a club to dance and have a good time. I sit with some creep of an owner and watch my wife dance with other people.”

“Bam, it wasn’t like that.”

“Yes. It was. You got bored sitting there with me talking business so you went to actually have a good time. That’s how it always is.” He looked so defeated and it killed you. What he was saying couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

“I wasn’t trying to get away from you. I just heard my favorite song and decided to dance for a while. It wasn’t intentional.” You raised his head to look at you and kissed him. “I chose you, Bambam. This life just came along with it. I don’t mind having quiet dinners at home because I get to spend time with the man I know and love. And I like going to business deals with you because you look unreal in a suit.”

His laugh warmed your heart. He took a hold of your hands, kissing each of them. “I’m sorry, baby. I just feel bad about the circumstances of everything.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Besides. The night is still young. And you said you preferred it if I wore this dress for dinner here at home. We can still make that happen.” You suggested.

Bambam smiled at you and kissed your forehead. “Say no more.”

He got off the bed, ordered dinner and got dressed in his suit again to satisfy you. The rest of the night was spent in peace. After dinner, you put on some music and slow danced on the balcony. He was able to let his guard down and relax with you in his arms.

After that night you both made a pact: For every business meeting he takes you to, he owes you one date night out to a place of your choosing. The dress you wear, however, will be chosen with his help.

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[jlf23tumble]

Top 10 Niche Interests

Fixations? Obsessions? This is incredibly hard because I have wayyyy too many niche interests, so instead of stressing about it, I tried to channel the 10 things that immediately speak to me and maybe aren't so obvious from what I post here, like how much I'm obsessed with wigs, doll furniture, incredibly specific blogs, all forms of clothing with pockets, swimming pools, whimsical bus stops, over-the-top bathrooms, etc. etc Instead, I opted for some specifics that feel a little more evergreen and long tailed, like, so LIFE-long tailed that it's tough to nail down when or how they became part of the national psyche. I thank @alienfuckeronmain​ for the initial tag, and I'm tagging her AGAIN for round two because I know she has a billion additional niche things, and she'll post them, and I'll scream because it'll trigger five other things I neglected to post here, and I'll probably post my own round two, arggggh, insert aggressive sighing. Anyway, I tag ANYONE who wants to do it, just tag me so I can see! 

1. Indoor Trees

I have no idea why this concept PULLS so hard because houseplants are kind of meh to me, but you want to plant an entire-ass TREE indoors, in the place where you live? Me, too, and I'd add a conversation pit plus a combo gold/red bathroom, among other things, and, bam, we're in my imaginary dream home, which I have literally, constantly ALWAYS mentally constructed from the time I was about six or so. (If you're curious, it has multiple themed rooms, and the closest I've seen to it recently is the outstanding Dita von Teese AD feature, but Amy Sedaris’s apartment comes close, too). There are two (2) 1960s houses in Long Beach with magnificent indoor trees, but I can't find them online, so have this modern interpretation and cry with me about how I can't visit the multi-story fake tree inside Clifton's Cafeteria for a good long while:

2. Conventions of Fans of Any Kind

One thing that I don't think I'll ever lose is how much I *love* people who are fans of SOMETHING, people who have a passion and create something about it or cosplay it or simply gather to celebrate it and connect to other people through it. The Internet provides in all kinds of ways, but I'm talking specifically about IRL conventions and the way my heart pitter pats when I first walk in those doors, SWOON! And it doesn’t matter how big the convention is or how random, I've been to smaller events like CatCon and the My Little Pony convention all the way up to biggies like WonderCon and Comic Con, and I have yet to be disappointed. I might know jack shit about what I'm walking into, but I want to see the merch, hear about the panels, and check out the people who are fucking PUMPED to be there. Sadly, I think it's gonna be a lonnnnng time until these come back, but I can live vicariously through my old photos, sigh:

3. Dutch Wax Fabrics and African Fashion

I'm not the snazziest of dressers, but textiles, colors, and patterns have been an obsession that has soothed my visual soul for as long as I can literally remember. Wax fabric marries all three of those touchpoints, plus throws in a healthy dose of style, and I count myself lucky to have seen two big exhibits on the subject (this was one of them), oh, how I wish there were more! For sure, there's a fucked up underlying colonial/imperialist history here, but there's also humor and color and vibrancy, a reclamation of sorts, and multiple levels of fashion that take my breath away. I cannot do the different patterns justice at all, but the fan motif is one of my faves:

4. Hearst Castle vs. Madonna inn

These two fall into my #home tag because they're where I'm from, and they speak to me as equally sublime and ridiculous, camp and kitsch writ large and small, different (yet similar!) versions of Xanadu that two rich white men built as shrines to their own personal "taste." And the irony is that a lot of people shit on Alex Madonna for being tacky (the Madonna Inn is...uh, something else), yet praise WR Hearst for all the high-class art and architecture, most of which is fully lifted from desperate churches between and after world and yet they're both more or less the same concept (lodging for weary travelers, self-aggrandizement, questionable taste-mixing). Hearst Castle edges out slightly for me because it's bigger and has spectacular scenery and history, plus it gives me doses of LA noir thanks to the way Hearst killed a guy in a jealous Charlie Chaplin-related rage and Hedda Hopper covered it up, all kinds of old Hollywood shenanigans happened up there, etc. But I'm low-key an expert on both houses of the holy, I'm OBSESSED with both, and we can leave it at that. I mean, come on:

5. Snow Globes

I had to cull my personal collection slightly just to fit it all on the dedicated shelf in my bathroom, and I seriously need to refill all the water lines, but nothing beats a snow globe in terms of memorable souvenir, especially when you put it in a bathroom. The majesty!!! The jewel of my collection is the one from Sherwood Forest because WHY NOT celebrate a historic place and moment in the basic way?? He robbed from the rich to give to the poor, and the gift shop about 100 feet from the tree he hid in does the same! The circle of life! The irony of all the watermarks on this blessed image...protect:

6. Highly Specific Museums

Look, we can all agree that the more venerated museums in the world are a form of garbage in terms of what they represent, what they've done, and who runs them, but I'm here for the museums that collect and celebrate things that tend to get overlooked. There are too many to list that I love that are still thriving, so I'm going to say goodbye to four recently departed faves. RIP to the Pez museum, I'm so glad I saw you and purchased your stale candy souvenirs. RIP to the museum of terrible food, you were a pop up when Phoenix and I saw you, and I will forever think about the worker describing people literally vomiting during their visits. RIP to the currywurst museum in Berlin, I've had currywurst exactly once and it was not for me, but I respect the Journey you took me on, including obscure east German TV shows that helped make you so popular (??). Finally, RIP to the velvet painting museum, there's no way to mince words, the person who owned you was crazy AS FUCK and had zero clue how to run a business, but I'm so glad I saw you multiple times and purchased my own velvet treasure (not this exact one, but remarkably similar):

7. Liminal Spaces: Grocery Store Edition

Confession time for those who don't know me all that well, I'm a big time voyeur, and nothing fills my heart with joy like a walk at 7 or 8 pm, the witching hour when people haven't pulled the curtains, and I can scope out their decorations/furnishings without it being "weird." Another confession is how much I unabashedly adore grocery stores in other countries and will spend at least an hour wandering aisle by aisle, falling in love with how much everything is different yet completely the same:

8. Agatha Christie Novels:

As a child, I was a fairly compliant reader--I had to read something for school? Okay! For my mom? Sounds good! But the books that sparked the initial fire for me to read something purely for myself were second-hand (probably fourth- or fifth-hand, judging by cover art) Agatha Christie short story anthologies, which were the gateway drug to full Agatha Christie novels, then other mystery novels, and so on. But getting back to Agatha, I obviously loved all the stories, but every decade spawned incredibly good cover art (like, exceptionally good), and this particular artist's are right up near the top for me (I go back and forth on a lot of the '50s and '60s ones):

9. Scopitones

I link my obsession with scopitones both to my love of music videos in general and a shop in Austin, TX, that sold DVD compilations of them in particular, but either way, they're underappreciated and kitschy all in one! Francoise Hardy and the rest of the ye-ye's are my forever girls for this medium, but seemingly every country cranked them out, both actual set videos and "live" performances? If you don't know what they are, scopitones were machines that played music videos in French cafes in the '60s (??), so it was sort of your proto-MTV way to see your faves sing and dance. Oh, Francoise...so moderne!!

10. Cover Songs

I have so much patience and love for cover songs of any stripe, the more genre-bending and/or surprising, the better! My only minor beef is the trend in slooooooooowing down songs to make a point, but even those ones have a special place in my heart if they're effective. Live Lounge feeds my hunger the best, but my meta fave for representing this concept is Pulp's Bad Cover Version, which was already lyrically INSPIRED, a song about bad cover versions in terms of relationships, but then they did a video that was a visual "bad" cover version, with actors lip synching over an audio "bad" cover version, and all of it just worked? The cover for the single is someone in the band as a boy, making his own bad cover version of a Bowie album cover, it's meta meta meta, and I love love love, here's the video, if you're curious. In the more sublime cover category, I'm absolutely addicted to all of Orville Peck's covers, I truly hope he officially releases them sometime soon, but I wholeheartedly support any artist who does it:

[btslwky]

Stressing over Finals

Mark

this goofball would do everything in his power to make you laugh, smile, pee your pants or all three. He would jump around, screaming the lyrics to GOT7 song at the top of his lungs until you were stress free.

“I should have been in the vocal line, I’m serenading you so good right now.” 

JB 

he would straight up take away your notecards, laptop or textbook out of your hands and literally cuddle the shit out of you. He seems like the type to actually be super soft and be like 

“See what you need right now are my cuddles, and lucky for you, I’m here to deliver” 

But oh god do not tell anyone he said that or he won’t hear the end of it.

Jackson

this puppy would be trying to make you laugh so hard and keep your spirits up. he would try so hard to keep your mind focused but also distracted so you wouldn't get too stressed. Would also order some of your favorite foods and secretly your favorite dessert for when you finished studying. 

“Babe look, tell me how good I can do the renegade dance!” 

Jinyoung

would be more serious about it and genuinely try and help you and work with you because he wants you to succeed. He would help quiz you and when you would get frustrated if you missed a question he would pull you into a tight hug until you felt better.

“It’s okay love, you’ll get this, you just need to try a bit more, you got this!” 

Youngjae

another member that would be away on tour who couldn’t really interact with you the way he wanted to. He did however find a way to quiz you throughout the day by texting you random test questions and however many you got right was how many kisses he would give you when he got back.

“Alright babe, that's 20 questions right for today, you're on a roll.” 

Bam Bam 

He wouldn’t really know how to help you and didn’t want to get too involved when it came to your studies but was still there right by your side the entire time, keeping you company when you needed a break.

“you want to go to that new pizza place down the street? I think you could use a break baby.” 

Yugyeom

would be on tour so he couldn’t physically be there with you but would stay on the phone with you as long as he you wanted. He would help you focus as best as he could and promised a whole weekend dedicated to both of you when he got back.

“I promise babe when I get back we’ll celebrate you passing all of your exams.”