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#just survived my friend (who i've had an on and off crush on for years) talking to me abt how she has a crush on another girl
cherrygarden · 15 days
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#just survived my friend (who i've had an on and off crush on for years) talking to me abt how she has a crush on another girl#only a small part of me shriveled up and died so i'll count that as a win#and like. it wasn't so bad bc i never had any hopes really#so i reacted as i would if any other friend came to me w that info = playful and supportive#i didnt even fake it or exaggerate it bc contrary to popular belief (my inner mologue) she is my friend first and foremost#and crushes and romantic beginnings are exciting#but. BUT.#i've already been so sad around her bc i've had to second guess everything i do in case it reads as romantic#(even though my behaviour rlly isnt that different and it's just like. little things like how i look at her)#bc i know theyre unrequited and itd be awkward and it will lead nowhere#AND I'M FINE W IT!!!! I promise i am#but it still is sad!!!!!!!!! so everytime i see her i'm happy bc i'm with her but also sad bc of how i'm feeling#it's more like a pest honestly. a sickness i can't rid myself off#and i know I KNOW nothing will happen but you can't blame me for subconsciously holding space for a what if#but this absolutely crushed that invisible part of me that i refused to entertain but still was There#so i'm disappointed and forlorn and resignated bc really what can i do except wait for it to pass#i'd go out with someone to redirect my affection but i truly have no energy or interest in pursuing something#unless it finds me or a girl chases after me but even then i'm not sure i'd be up to that#i'm just so tired of it!!!!!!!!!!!!#bc it's also not like heartbreak but it's not not that#AND i dont feel like i can talk w anyone about it because the one person i'm closest to is a common friend#and i love her but no conversation between her and someone else remains a secret#and also i'd hate for anyone to pity me or for her to be like ''yeah we could tell'' bc embarassing!!!1#i already know i'm obvious i don't need confirmation#anyway. i feel sad
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blue-blue-blooms · 5 months
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A Little Crush   
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Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader
Part 1
Summary: In which Eddie develops a crush on the Henderson sister.
You weren't sure exactly when your life had gone to absolute shit. Was it when you found a strange, superpowered adolescent girl living in Mike Wheeler's basement? Was it when you walked in on a baby demogorgan eating your cat? Or was it when you were drugged by evil Russians operating under Starcourt Mall? You couldn't even remember a time when life was normal. If someone had told you that you would become best friends with Steve 'The Hair' Harrington and fight literal monsters from an alternate universe alongside Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan 'The Creep' Byers a few years ago, you would've laughed in their face. Now? You'd survived the most traumatising events of your life alongside these people. You were bonded for life.
The last few years had also made you closer with Dustin. You loved your baby brother and his weird friends, especially since you'd spent so much time babysitting them. But no amount of love could make you say yes to what they were asking of you.
"Please?" Dustin begged, following you down the hallway as you made your way to Ms. O'Connell's class.
"No! I have, like, three essays due this week, Dustin. I don't have the time to sub." You respond.
"It's only for tonight! Lucas can't make it and we really need a sub. We're nearly done with the campaign and Eddie will kill us if we make him reschedule!" Dustin pleads.
You were really happy that Dustin and Mike had found a safe space in high school. Lord knows those two idiots needed it. Freshmen year is probably the toughest of them all. You're new, scared, and lonely. You were really glad that they'd found friends, a place where they could be their nerdy selves and feel accepted. Hell, even you'd dabbled in their interests when you'd babysat them. DnD wasn't half bad, and not nearly as hard to undertand as you once thought. You'd spent many nights in Mike's basement playing with them. The first few times, you'd get your character killed in the first fifteen minutes. But after a while, you started making progress (even though you're convinced that the party was exceptionally lenient with you after you once burst into tears over getting killed off).
"I'll do your half of the chores for a week!" Dustin exclaims.
That makes you stop.
"A week?" You turn around to look at him, "Make it two weeks and I'll sub."
"Two? Are you insane!?" Dustin yells, making a few people lingering in the hallway turn and look at you both.
"Two or no deal, Dusty Buns," You tease, "And be quick, I'm late for my class."
"Fine!" Dustin says, "And stop calling me 'Dusty Buns'"
"Why? Is that nickname just for Suzy Poo?" You tease.
Dustin glowers at you as you walk off.
♡♡♡
"So, who's the DM?" You ask as you walk alongside Dustin and Mike.
"It's Eddie, Eddie Munson. He's a senior. Long hair, wears a hellfire T-Shirt, I talk about him constantly. God, do you ever listen to me?" Dustin claims exasperatedly.
"Oh! Eddie as in your new favorite older male best friend who Steve's weirdly jealous of?" You ask, "I've seen him around. Is he the one who jumps on lunch tables and yells a lot?"
"Yup." Mike responded, "He's a bit scary when he's revved up. Just warning you beforehand in case he comes off...a bit intimidating."
You nod.
"Hasn't he been held back, like, three times?" You ask.
Before either of the boys could answer, you reach the room. The first thing you see is the table where the game is set. There are three boys sat around, all with Hellfire T-Shirts on. Your eyes fleet from one to the other until finally landing on Eddie. You recognise him immediately from the amount of times you've seen him yelling in the cafeteria.
Dustin and Mike failed to mention how cute he was, you think.
His hair was long and wavy. He was wearing multiple rings. And he was covered in tattoos. You're pretty sure you saw a few bats peeking from under his sleeve.
"Who's this?" One of the guys asks, making all three turn around and look at you.
"This is Y/N! She's subbing for Lucas!" Mike says, the words spilling out fast and nervously.
Why the hell are they so jittery?
"Yeah, she's my sister! The one I mentioned a couple days ago." Dustin adds.
"Does she even know how to play DnD?" The other boy asks.
"Okay, excuse me, I wouldn't have come if I didn't know how to play," You finally speak, waving your hand a little to get their attention.
"So, this is your infamous sister?" Eddie finally speaks, his eyes landing on you, "You know, I thought he made you up. What's your class and level? Level One Elf?"
Elf? Is he mocking me?
"Are you mocking me?" You ask incredously.
"Is he mocking me?" you turn towards Dustin and Mike who immediately start gesticulating, probably asking you to shut up.
"My name is Aeren Sirenfall and I'm a level 14 chaotic good half-elf rogue. I will sneak behind any monster you throw my way and stab them in the back with my poison-soaked kukri. And I'll smile as I watch them die a slow...agonising...death." You say, your voice slow and hard as you glare at Eddie, "So, are we gonna play this stupid game or not?"
You're pretty sure you hear one of the boys mutter a 'she's terrifying' to Dustin.
You watch as Eddie's eyes slowly soften and a grin emerges on his face, "Welcome to Hellfire Club."
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resi4skz · 5 months
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Title: My Nerdy Girl
Pairing: Chan x Reader
Warning: smut, fingering, kissing, hard thoughts, horny chan, all the shebang
MDNI !!!
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You know when you're the most popular guy in college and have girls asking for your phone number? And when you politely reject them because you have a huge crush on your good friend who also happens to be one of your classmates in one of your classes?
Yeah. That's me. I'm currently looking at her eat her lunch, sitting across from her best friend, Luna, who happens to be the girlfriend of my best friend, Han. Luna and Han met because of Y/N last year, during Han's birthday. Now, that was a fun day, even if it did end with Han and Luna going at it in a closet. Good thing no one interrupted them.
Right. Back to my point about Y/N. I don't know what it is about her. I feel attracted to her. I find her cute. Endearing. And the clothes, she's always wearing baggy clothes and it has made my mind to not shut up about the filthy images I've had and been having. Now, I'm not going to deny that I have eye fucked her many times because one could only imagine what's behind all those clothes. And those glasses she wears. Something about her being a nerd makes me want to scream her name every night with my hand down my pants. I've lost count of how many times I've jerked off to her.
"Bro, just tell her already," Han says, munching on snacks.
"Remind me why you're here instead of with your girlfriend?"
"Annoyed much?" He gives me a look.
"Much."
He throws a popcorn at me which I catch with my mouth. "I can't tell her."
"Why not?"
"Because. It's Y/N. I don't want to ruin our friendship," I replied, sighing as I sit in my chair. "Fuck, I want her so bad."
"Ugh," Han groans, rolling his eyes. "Why do I have to do everything myself?" I watch as he fishes out his phone and types something.
"What are you doing?"
"Just so you know," he says putting his phone down. "I'm only doing this because you're like my bro but just this once. The rest is on you." He gets up, pats my back and leaves giving me a peace sign.
What just happened?
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Fuck me. That's her? She follows the waiter to where our table is. Oh my god. She's wearing a black dress that goes to her mid thighs and she paired it up with suede high knee boots and beige cardigan. If it's one thing that makes me turn feral, it's women wearing black.
Correction: it's Y/N wearing black. And no glasses??
Fuck.
How am I going to survive this date?
As she approaches the table, I stand up pulling the chair out for her. "Thank you," she says as she takes a seat.
"My pleasure."
My pleasure indeed.
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We're both laughing as we walk side by side by the river. "No, you're telling me that Luna is Han's first girlfriend?" She asked, laughing.
"And the only one from the looks of it," I replied.
How I never knew she would be this fun to be with, I would have made a move much sooner. She places her hand on the railing in front of her, leaning against it as she sighs, looking at the river below us. "It's so pretty."
I glance at her, not being able to take it anymore. So I cage her in from the back, putting my hands on either side of her. I feel her stiffen as I lean in near her ear. "Very pretty. Like you."
She turns her head and her cheeks turn pink realizing the sudden close proximity we're in. Her eyes travel down to my lips then to my eyes. "So pretty," I whisper as I lean in towards her parted lips. "May I?" When she nods, I waste no time. I have dreamt of kissing this woman and to finally be able to do it doesn't even compare to my dreams.
I pull back, our breaths heavy. "Fuck, Y/N. Is it safe to say that I like you?"
She chuckles, fully turns around and wraps her arms around my neck. "Yes, because I like you too. Now kiss me."
"Fuck yes," I say and crash my lips on her. She tastes like cherries. But I break the kiss too soon. She chases my lips but I stop her, gazing into her lustful eyes. "Do you wanna come over at my place?"
She blinks at me, and I can see cogs turning in her brain. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this was too soon. I just want her so bad and I haven't been this fucking hard ever. As I slowly let her go, she fists my shirt yanking me back. I blink down at her, surprised. "Yes."
The ride to my apartment was....let's say it wasn't the best. I had to put all my focus on driving and going above the speed limit was an understatement. The amount of times I just wanted her to climb over and have her way with me.
Fuck.
I'm doomed.
And the fact that my apartment was on the eighth floor. The elevator ride, I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed Y/N against the wall, my face in the crook of her neck, drinking in her scent. I wanted to memorize it. She let out a moan as I sucked on her pulse point, making her whimper. My hands slither around her waist, travelling lower to grip both of her cheeks in my palms, pulling her closer to my body. I felt her arms wrap around my neck, tilted her head to the side for me to gain more access to skin.
I hooked her leg on my hip as my left hand went up her thigh, going beneath her dress to give her ass a tight grip. The material of my jeans rubbed against her clothed clit, and that was enough to set me into overdrive. "Chan..." Y/N whimpered as I sucked on her neck.
I wish I could listen to her whimpers and moans any day of the week. And every night, if she were up to it.
When I finally pulled away, I took a moment to stare at her dead in the eyes before leaning down to smash my lips to hers. She matched my energy as her hands travelled to my hair, her fingers raking through my black locks. Her small whimpers and moans spurred me on, her tongue swirled around mine and my cock grew hard at the sensation.
The dinging of the elevator brought me back to reality as I stepped back and we both walked off the machine. Her giggles are my favorite so far, as I pressed her against the wall, licking and biting along her neck as we tried to walk to my apartment. When we arrived, her hand intertwining with mine, I used my key to unlock the door and allowed Y/N to walk inside first. But as soon as the door closed, she was on me and I moaned into her mouth as I softly slammed her against the nearest wall.
Sliding my hands around her hips, I hoisted Y/N in my arms as her legs wrapped around my torso. Yet again, our lips moved in sync, never leaving, but quickly deepened as I walked over to my room. Upon entering, I head straight for the bed, Y/N’s back hits the soft mattress as I dive right back to her neck as hands fisted my hair giving it a light tug. "Fuck, do that again." She blinks twice before tugging at my hair, making my mind go fuzzy, unable to think straight. In return, I gripped her thigh and pulled it up a bit, lifting her thighs as I grind my hips against hers.
Y/N moaned and grinds her hips back, her covered sensitive clit, giving her the right amount of friction. She squirmed beneath me as the wetness of her panties became uncomfortable. I kissed her deeply, pausing briefly to strip out of her dress, leaving her in her black thong. "No bra?" I asked, blinking at her perky breasts to which her cheeks turns pink. I admired her body, staring at every curve and dip in her skin, running my hands up and down her frame. "Fuck. You're gorgeous."
She had swollen lips as her chest rose and fell with each breath and I trailed my lips down her body. Starting at Y/N's neck, nibbling down her collarbone to the dip of her breasts, making sure to suck her sensitive buds. She moaned, once again running her fingers through my hair and pulling my face closer. Smiling into the kiss, I was starting to love hearing her moan and could listen to them all day. Heck, if it was up to me, I would want to keep her beneath the sheets, under me.
I continued trailing my tongue down the her torso. When I got to her black panties, I look up, and she nods for me to continue. I reached up and peeled the black item of clothing down her legs, throwing it behind me as it joins with the rest of of our clothing.
Pushing her legs open, I run my fingers through her folds before slipping my middle finger into her. “Such a pretty cunt.”
Her cheeks turn pink at the compliment. I watch as her back arches as I thrust my finger inside, knuckle deep, exploring her soft walls.
"Fuck, Channie.” she moaned, closing her eyes in pleasure.
I hovered over her lips as my fingers slowly worked in and out of her. She kept arching and writhing as I continued, mouth wide open as she let out silent moans.
“I can feel you tightening already.” But as I added a second finger, she couldn't contain herself. Her moans spilled out of her like she was a pornstar. Even when I kissed her, nothing stopped the volume she was outputting. “Fuck, I can't wait to fuck you."
Her walls clamp down on my fingers and I silently cursed at myself for not doing this sooner. “Channie…please…” The moans that escaped her mouth as they bounced off my room's walls. If the neighbors complain, I wouldn't give a fuck.
“Please, what?” I smirked watching her come undone at my pleasure. “I can’t hear you, baby.” I started moving my fingers faster in and out of her tight wet cunt that I had been dreaming about. I smile hearing her beg and plead. Gazing up at her lustfully, I smirk before taking her by surprise by leaning down and latching my mouth on her clit. She lets out a muffled moan, making me come up to see her biting the back of her hand.
Something came over me and I swat her ass cheek, making her yelp. "I want to hear you." She draws her hand back as I go back to my first mission and groan at the taste of her juices as they run down my chin. I hear her gasp before her hand grips the back of my head, fisting my hair and then pushes me deeper into her sopping pussy. "You taste so fucking good.”
“Don’t fucking stop,” Y/N moaned, as I run my fingers over her sensitive nub. “I’m so close.”
I couldn't say no to her so I grabbed the back of her knees, pushed her legs towards her chest, and began to devour her. I ran my tongue through her already soaking pussy before sticking it inside of her. Her thighs started shaking as I feel her first orgasm of the night approaching. And it was coming fast. "Cum on my face, baby. Can you do that for me?"
Her walls clenched around my fingers. She moaned my name as her orgasm hit her hard, she closed her thighs around my head as the aftershocks flowed through her body. I trailed kisses up her chest, sucking her sensitive nubs again before smashing my lips to hers.
As I shed my pants and boxers, I felt her watching me and saw her eyes widen at my rock hard cock. I quickly grabbed a condom, teared the corner of the foil with my teeth before putting it on. "Ready?" When she gives me a nod, I hover over her as I aligned myself at her enterance. She cries out as I slide in, all at once. I wanted to move and ruin her under my spell. But the look on her face made me stop. "Are you okay?"
She nods, opening her eyes. "I didn't expect you to be this big."
I laugh. "You've got a smart mouth. I wonder what else it can do."
"Why don't you find out?"
Fuck me. Drawing myself back, I thrust my cock inside her and threw her head back, arching her back as her walls pulsated wildly around me. “So fucking tight…” I hissed as I speed up the pace to the point where I'm hammering into her. Her glistening neck had me going crazy as I licked and nibbled at a spot and mumbled how she felt around me. She felt so tight, so warm, just right. “Babygirl, is this good? Do you want me to go harder, faster?”
I slowed down when she didn't respond, making her whine. I didn't want to pull out because I had wanted to be inside, nice and snug in her warmth. She was stretching well to my size, much to my surprise.
“Channie, if you don't fuck me in the next 5 seconds, I'm leaving you with blue balls,” Y/N stated, eyes glazed over with lust, and her cheek flushed.
"You asked for it," I said as I grabbed her hips and slammed my hips against her at an ungodly speed. She looked so sexy, so good, and willing to take what I had to offer. Fuck, her fucked out appearance was beyond my dreams. My thumb rubbed her sensitive clit making her mewl out loud.
“Oh, are you sensitive?” She nodded at my question. "I'm going to have so much fun with this later on but right now, I need you to come on my cock," I grunted, leaving a hickey on her neck.
“Ahhh…no wait…” She squirmed beneath me, and her hand went to grab my wrist. "Chan, ah, fuck, please." I noticed how she didn’t pull my hand away despite her pleads.
I could feel her walls clenching down around me. “Sorry baby,” I breathed out as the pressure in my balls kept rising. “You’re just too perfect for me."
“Fuck, Channie,” She came with a cry. Her arms wrapped around my neck, her body convulsing as she held me close.
I wasn't far behind. “Oh, fuck. I'm gonna cum. You're gonna make me cum. Fuck, fuck, I'm cumming.” I stilled as the hot sticky cum painted the inside of Y/N's tight cunt.
Our heavy breaths filled the room, bouncing off the walls as I blinked down at her, catching my breath. I pressed my lips to hers as her hands ran down my back. "You okay?"
"Yes," she nods, smiling.
"Wait here," I pull out when I've gone soft and retrieve a small towel from the bathroom. As I cleaned her off, her hand grabs mine and I glance up. "What is it? Are you hurt? Was I too rough?"
She giggles. Oh, I love her giggles. "I'm okay, Channie. In fact, I don't think I can walk." She grins and asks, "So does this mean I'll see you again?"
I smile. "Oh, you'll definitely be seeing me again. Because I intend on seeing you outside of my room." I laugh when she hits my arm playfully. "Y/N. You're mine."
She smiles, beaming at me. "I'm yours."
Settling down in the bed next to her, she snuggles up to me as I wrap my arm around her, kissing her forehead. It doesn't take too long for her to falls asleep, making me smile. "Goodnight, babygirl. Sweet dreams."
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A/N: i dont know what to do with myself now.....
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sundew199 · 1 month
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Times Two
a/n: good lord this is long and filthy. If you prefer to read it on AO3, it'll be linked. I've also never written a threesome before and tried my best, hopefully it isn't too horrible :)
words: 8,180
tags: Reiner x Jean x F!reader, rough sex, rough oral sex, Eiffel tower position, slight panty kink (Reiner), cum eating, Reiner and Jean are Bisexual, College AU, Reijean if you pay attention or care lol, pet names
What was it about Reiner and Jean that had you constantly glued to their hips? If you’re friends were to ask they’d say it was a double crush you were denying. If you asked your family their answers would vary from underlying crush, to enjoying being the center of attention or a close friendship. You personally didn’t think you were attached to their hips at first, but the more people started to whisper and theorize, you started to ask yourself the question. In reality, Reiner and Jean were your closest and longest friends, surviving multiple friend groups and growing up. You met Reiner in grade school, sat next to him on the first day of fourth grade and throughout the whole year due to the teacher’s assigned seating. The two of you might as well have been siblings, walking home together, eating dinner and playing at each other's house, even his mom and your parents were close after a while. Jean entered the scene later, seventh grade to be exact when he transferred mid year and as luck would have it the three of you shared almost all classes together. Reiner was the one who sought out Jean’s friendship and you became friends by proxy and from then on all the way to college the three of you were tight knit. 
Attending the same university is what you think further solidified the glue between the three of you, swearing to everyone it wasn’t intentional to attend the same university together. Some believed you and others didn’t, but you really didn’t care. Thankfully rumors spreading about you being in a three way relationship with them ended going to college, high school was rampant. You’d admit that it did bother you, because why couldn’t you be really good friends with two guys? Why did everyone have to make it seem the other way around? Reiner and Jean never hesitated to defend your honor against the rumors, landing themselves in suspension once or twice when defending you turned physical. Even when you tried to blame yourself, they never allowed it. 
Now when people questioned what the true nature of your friendship was with them, you’d play into the bit and come up with wildly different answers on how the dynamics of the relationship worked. Reiner and Jean both got a kick out of it as did you. 
Junior year of college is what changed things for the three of you. Since you couldn’t room with them in the dorms since they were guys, all three of you decided to rent a condo off campus. You’d spent almost all your life with both of them so there wasn’t any harm in living with them, besides all three of you were just friends. 
Towards the end of the first semester of junior year already and finals quickly approaching, you were buried in your books, studying like a madman to keep your GPA around or above a 3.5, needing the best possible grades to earn the degree you were working towards. Jean and Reiner had it easy in your mind, ashy haired man working towards a degree in Art History and the blonde meathead shooting towards that finance degree. In hindsight, they didn’t have it much easier than you, but they were also stupidly smart in their own respective studies. You envied them in a sense. 
It was chilly out, keeping two blankets wrapped around you sitting at your desk and scrolling through the notes you took the other day to refresh your mind for the practice test on Monday. As much as you wanted to deny it, you need a mental break from school but wouldn’t allow yourself to take it, not when so much was riding on the line. 
“Hey.” 
Jumping in your chair at the sound of a gruff voice at your bedroom door, blinking and rubbing your eyes from staring at the screen for too long. Swiveling to face whichever one of them it was, you wrapped the blanket around you tightly. 
“Yea.” 
“Are you still planning on watching the season premier of the show later?” Reiner asked, tapping his knuckles on your doorframe and leaning into it. Your eyes refused to focus on his face and instead on the bulging bicep through the fabric of the long sleeve shirt he wore. Since when were his arms that big? I mean fuck you knew he worked out but you’d never noticed how ripped his arms alone were. 
“Yeah if I finish going through my notes.” 
Reiner scoffed, rolling his eyes and approaching you, reaching over you to slam the laptop shut, deciding for you if you were going to look over the rest of your notes or not. 
“Reiner-” 
“You’ve been holed up in here for almost two days. I know finals are important but I’ll bet your brain is fried to a crisp.” Defiantly declaring, crossing those beefy ass arms over his chest and waiting for you to give in like he knew you would. 
Whatever. The premier of the new season of the show the three of you watched would only be an hour, and then you could return to forcing yourself to absorb as much information as possible. Sighing dramatically for effect and throwing the blankets off of yourself, you uncross your stupidly numb legs and ignore the sharp tingles running up from your foot as you stride over to the small closet to put on a sweatshirt. Reiner didn’t bother leaving as you tossed your t-shirt and bra from where you stood partially out of view to pull the sweatshirt over your head. 
“Jean is picking up food and drinks - is that my sweatshirt that I haven’t been able to find?” Sounding hurt and accusatory as you brushed past him out of your room, looking back to nod with a smile, because yes it was his and it was his fault for mixing it in with your laundry. He muttered down the small hallway to the main area of the condo all three of you shared, pinching your shoulder when he purposely knocked past you, hearing the muttering replaced with chuckles. 
One of them had taken the liberty to find all the blankets that were supposed to already be in the living room and tossed them all over the couch, setting up for the three of you to comfortably watch the premier. You could hear Reiner in the kitchen that flowed into the open concept living room, making a whole bunch of unnecessary noise in trying to find whatever it was. If you were being honest, living with your closest friends was turning into living with siblings, getting into pointless arguments and doing everything to get on each other's nerves. Would you change it to live with a regular roommate that could be a hit or miss in how well you got alone? Hell no. 
Finding a spot on the couch while waiting for Jean, you decided to look through all the notifications you missed while studying for hours. Some of your classmates were checking in, or asking questions about the notes, contemplating on whether you should respond. They could wait, Reiner was probably right when he said your brain was fried at this point. Checking social media quickly turned into envy seeing some of your other friends enjoying the holiday break, done with their finals and celebrating by jumping from parties to bars or wherever they sold cheap alcohol. If only you were done with finals so you could actually destress, but that just wasn’t in the cards. 
Jean came through the door after barreling through it, hands full with food and drinks. From the strong aroma, you knew he went to go get wings, always choosing the messiest option somehow. 
“Damn out of your room finally? Swore you died or something.” Commenting with a smirk as he passed by the couch to get to the kitchen where Reiner was snickering at his comment. Rolling your eyes instead of lashing back, you joined them in the kitchen to plate some of the food and momentarily forget about the weight of finals. 
“Please tell me you didn’t just get beer.” Approaching the center island of the kitchen, noticing the familiar white box in one of the bags that happened to be Jean and Reiner’s preferred drink of choice. If they wanted to give you a break, they would’ve at least gotten drinks that didn’t take four or five to actually start to feel the buzz. 
“No, I got you those lemonade drinks.” 
Ugh you could kiss him. As much as you loved Jean as a friend he had a tendency to forget to grab whatever you needed when he went out, always having to send you or Reiner back to the store to go grab it. Taking the glass bottle and popping the lid, the tingling fizzy drink left a slight burn as it went down your throat, just the right amount for you to down an entire six pack in a night and not regret your life choices in the morning. 
“Shows about to start.” Reiner announced after checking his phone, taking his plate with him to the couch. You and Jean did the same, grabbing the drinks as well to keep from having to get up and get another if you wanted. 
Sitting next to Reiner at a reasonable distance, Jean plopped down next to you and ended up sandwiching you between them. They were doing the absolute most to work every single one of your nerves, but you didn’t want to lash out again like you did earlier this week when one of them accidently ate your leftovers in the fridge. Tucking your feet under you as Reiner found the streaming service the show was premiering on, you actually didn’t mind being squished between them, their combined body heat doing more than the blanket over your lap would warm you up. 
The host for the show gave a quick recap of last season, breaking down the drama and how it might affect this season. This dating competition game that you had started watching out of boredom surprisingly took the guys interest, somehow watching it with you when it was on to turning into offense when you’d watch the latest episode without them. Despite the show being corny and scripted and at times unbearable to watch, it was nice to do something like this with them. 
“I swear to god if Jodi and that dick Preston aren’t broken up I might not watch the show anymore.” 
Jean hummed in agreement with Reiner, guzzling down the rest of his first beer and reaching for another. “I know, he’s so fucking annoying and Jodi is either dumb or desperate if she hasn’t left him yet.” 
Biting back a laugh as you took a bite of one of the wings, you looked at both of them to see they were being completely serious, so engrossed in this stupid show. The premise of this variant of a dating show was two people are paired up as a couple in the beginning and go through a series of challenges to see if they’re right for each other. Couples who continuously didn’t work together could get voted off or petition to break up with their partner. The downside was if there wasn’t another couple trying to split, you could be left without a partner and voted off, ya know all those stupid dating show rules that make you question why anyone would sign up to do it. 
Finally beginning to destress while nursing your vodka infused lemonade, it all went to shit when the couple you were rooting for petitioned to split. 
“Oh my god no! Why?! They were so good together!” Exclaiming and throwing your arms up, throwing your head back into the couch and pouting like a child. 
“Man that sucks, but he did fuck Serena last season so I’d leave him to.” Reiner commented, grabbing your attention even more, failing to recall that important detail. 
“Really?” 
“Oh yeah, they were getting each other off in that hallway, remember? Moaning so loud it's a shocker no one heard them.” Jean answered, laughing a little as he recalled the scene you’d clearly missed. 
“Yea! She was standing there going ‘oh josh faster! I'm going to cum, oh my god I’m so close!’” Reiner took it upon himself to imitate the moans one of the contestants were making, and you wouldn’t have felt as uncomfortable if it wasn't for that throaty laugh he let out there at the end, turning your cheeks flush with pink and throwing back the rest of your drink to hide it. Jean found Reiner’s imitation hilarious, laughing a bit harder than you’d imagine he would if he wasn’t finishing his second beer already, grabbing another and throwing his arm behind the couch and slouching, lifting his hips in the air trying to get comfortable. 
Suddenly the short commercial playing on screen was so interesting, taking small sips of the second bottle of lemonade and trying to drown out the sounds of their talking over you. Studying your ass off for the last couple of months left you little to no time to snag yourself a quick one night stand. You’d been able to ignore the urges and pour everything into your notes and reviews, but fuck it was harder than you expected. Espescially when you pick up on conversations between Reiner and Jean on their nights out, the girls they sometimes went home with and wishing you were getting fucked into the next semester. When all three of you moved in here, everyone agreed not to bring anyone home, unless clearing it with the other two that they’d be gone for the night. It hadn’t happen yet (that you were aware of) and you were glad, unsure how you’d feel knowing one of your best friends was getting their dick wet and having to listen to it. 
Regular programming returned and tried as you did to focus on what was unfolding, you just couldn’t. Replaying Reiner’s laugh in your head and Jean’s hip motion, turning you warm all over and settling something funny yet familiar in your abdomen. You wouldn’t lie and say you haven’t though about fucking one of them, mostly they were just passing thoughts and that was it, but now? Jesus fucking christ your head was a mess. This what you get for turning down outings with other friends to study, leaving you hornier than a motherfucker. It’d be fine, the show only had about thirty minutes left and then you could go back to studying and rub one out if you really needed to. 
“I wonder why there aren’t any same sex couples? I’d like to see how that plays out.” Jean’s words had a slight slur to them as he spoke, now reclined completely with his feet propped up on the coffee table. 
“Wasn’t there one last season?” Reiner asked, in a similar position as Jean, one arm behind his head and his half drank beer between his thighs. 
“Mm no, I think Zach and Marco made out on a dare but they weren’t a couple.” Giving them an answer after searching through your brain for that jaw dropping scene from last season that had everyone talking about on social media.
“Oh yea I remember that, that was hot.” Jean slurred, heat dripping in his words and causing you to raise an eyebrow. Maybe it was because he was drunk, that was what you told yourself instead of questioning how your friend really felt about that scene unfolding.  
Every little movement either of them did drew your attention, watching as Reiner drank the last of his beer, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, only to be pulled away by Jean’s groans as he adjusted on the couch. They weren’t doing it on purpose and you were tipsy so that explained the clenching of your thighs to ease the throb, not because you were getting turned on by them. 
A preview of next week's episode played at the end of the premier, taking the liberty to watch it before getting up and heading back to your room to get your mind out of the gutter. But as you walked away, Reiner grabbed your wrist, pulling you back towards him lazily. 
“Leaving already?” 
“I said I’d watch the premier with you guys and then study before going to bed.” Ignoring how large his hand looked around your wrist and how warm it was on your skin, taking in a sharp breath. 
“It’s Friday though.” The blonde whined, the slight inebriation turning him a bit sappy. 
“Play a game of cards with us and then go, please.” Jean chimed in, fluttering those hazel eyes at you, begging to spend just a little more time together. 
Not giving it much thought, you let out a sigh and walked to the media console below where the T.V hung on the wall to grab the deck of cards. Surely there was a quick game the three of you could play that wouldn’t send your mind further into the gutter or put you in a compromising situation. Jean managed to get up and grab some water for everyone, tossing one to you and Reiner as he sat down on the floor behind the coffee table, leaning back into the couch for support. 
“One round of B.S, alright?” Shuffling the cards between your hands and the table, repeatedly doing so that way everyone played fairly. 
“Lame but alright.” Jean agreed, chugging some of the water and sharing a look with Reiner that you didn’t understand and didn’t care to acknowledge. 
Dividing the entire deck between the three of you, now waiting for one of them to put down the ace of spades to begin the game. Reiner ended up having it and motioned towards you to go next. This game used to be a staple for you guys, playing every chance you got and getting into heated arguments whenever someone suspected someone else of putting down the incorrect card. 
The game went quietly in the beginning, until you picked up on Jean and Reiner putting down cards that they ‘supposedly’ had, smiling behind your deck every time they called out cards that were in your deck, the only thing keeping you from calling them out was waiting until the deck got a little thicker. 
“Two eights.” Reiner called out, looking at you to go next. 
“Bullshit.” 
“Ha! You sure? Cause I promise you I just put down two eights.” Reiner laughed, encouraging you to rethink your decision but also egging you on to check in hopes of watching you take the entire deck. 
“Check it.” Jean motivated from beside you, pushing his shoulder with yours. Reiner still had that confident look on his face which did end up making you regret your call out a bit, second guessing if you were right to call his bluff. No matter what since you called B.S, you had to check and you were going to livid if it actually was two eights. 
Reaching forward and thumbing apart the top two cards from the rest of the deck, you snuck a peak and saw what you didn’t want to see; two eights. 
“Nevermind, I take it back.” Knowing that wasn’t how the game worked but hoping you could worm your way out of it. 
“Uh uh, check.” Reiner insisted while standing up, coming to lean over you from behind, taking your arm and trying to force you to check the first two cards so the entire deck would go to you. Doing everything to resist, laughing as the man behind you snarled and laughed in your ear, still trying to force you to check with his hand over yours. Jean was leaning over to help, slipping an arm under the one that held your deck in the other hand, sandwiching you between them for the second time that night. 
“Just check, it’s okay if you’re a loser this round.” The taller of the two sneered in your other ear, brushing his lips over the shell and letting out a breathy laugh. You instantly shivered and became much more aware of your position, Reiner pressed into you from behind and Jean from the side. Heat rose in your entire body, refusing to let yourself enjoy the firm muscular bodies rubbing against yours. 
Resistance faltered completely as you got caught up in the overwhelming thoughts and sensations coursing through you, Reiner succeeding in getting your hand to flip over the top three cards, chuckling directly into ear. 
“Now was that so hard?” So close to the side of your face, you couldn’t help but turn and meet him. His eyes were still a bit hazy from the alcohol but not enough for you to feel guilty for leaning in and pressing your lips to his. 
Reiner gasped softly, giving into the feel of your soft plush lips on his and parting them when he felt yours begin to. You had absolutely no explanation for what spurred you to lean in and kiss what you considered your best friend, but you did and fuck did it feel nice. Reiner’s lips were surprisingly soft and the lingering remnants of his beer on his tongue kept you latched to his mouth. 
Behind you, Jean watched intrigued, though not entirely shocked. He would feel left out if he weren’t enjoying his two best friends making out on the floor of the living room, noticing how his sweat pants turned a little tighter. He smirked when Reiner peeked an eye open, a silent invitation to join in while pulling away from you. Jean wasted no time grabbing you by the back of your neck and slotting his lips into yours, sighing delightfully and wasting no time moving them with his. 
There wasn’t enough time for you to process that it was Jean you were kissing now, your other best friend, letting out a small moan when his tongue dipped into your mouth. He was slightly more insistent than Reiner was, moving faster and with a purpose but still reeling you in as your mouths stayed locked together. 
Coming up for air, not even wanting to think about what had just happened, you stood quickly. 
“C’mon,” Nodding towards what you think was Reiner’s room, knowing that if you gave yourself a moment to consider what you were about to do, you’d back out and hole yourself away in your room and never speak of this again. 
Both of them were quick to follow, smiling victoriously behind you. The door shut and you sat on the edge of Reiner’s bed, looking at both of them and debating on how this should continue to carry out. Consequences could come later, right now you’d gotten a taste of what you’d been actively avoiding for the sake of a GPA and needing so much more. 
“However you want to do this, I’m down.” Voicing your consent and ultimately putting all of your trust in both of them. You would admit this could be smoother sailing since you’d known both of them since childhood basically, but just not like that. There wouldn’t be much need to worry about keeping them in check like you would if it were someone you went home from the bar with and part of that excited you. 
Out of the two of them, Jean approached first, standing between your legs and grabbing your face and kissing you again. Slowly as your mouths returned to motions from minutes ago, the taller man began to push you back into the bed, holding himself above you with his hands beside your head. The bed dipped in the sudden weight of another person, knowing it was Reiner. 
Slender hands slipped under your sweatshirt, roaming around your skin and littering it with goosebumps. You gasped when the lith fingers brushed the underside of your breast, remembering you weren’t wearing a bra. Jean chuckled into your lips, humming as he dared to cup the flesh, sighing pleasantly when brushing his thumb over your nipple. 
Abruptly his mouth left yours, leaving you dazed and sitting up to search for his lips, only to see hands that weren’t Jean’s pulling his shirt off. Reiner stood on his knees just behind your head, tossing the shirt to the other side of the room and giving a playful smack to Jean’s pectoral. 
“Sharing is caring by the way.” The blonde rumbled behind you, scolding Jean and pinching his nipple teasingly, hearing Jean hiss softly before Reiner slipped his arms under your armpits and hauling you to face him. He was in nothing but his boxer briefs, the faint imprint of his half hard cock catching your eyes and widening at how big it looked beneath the fabric. Fuck you hadn’t even thought about how big either of them were, both impressively fit and no doubt having a dick to match the rigid muscles rippling over their bodies. 
Falling with Reiner as he leaned back on the bed, you threw your legs over his torso and smashed your mouth to his, feeling another set of hands from behind you lift the hem of your sweatshirt until you were bare from the waist up. The man below you groaned when you sat up on his abdomen, running his hand across your stomach. Acquainted hands from earlier snakes around to your chest, Jean cupping both of your tits and softly kissing down your neck while circling his thumbs over your nipples. 
“Fuck,” Reiner breathed from below, raising his hips as he watched Jean tease and stimulate your nipples in to pert buds. Mindlessly, you began to scoot down until you came in contact with the bulge beneath Reiner’s boxers, grinding in time with Jean’s circling thumbs. The blonde groaned again, bringing his hands to your hips and encouraging you. 
“Eager huh?” A voice teased, pinching both nipples harshly and sucking the side of your neck. You couldn’t think of anything but the rising heat in your body, the teasing from Jean and the quieted groans from Reiner below. Maybe you were stupid for never giving this a shot before, both seemed eager and willing to please and show you what a good time looked like. 
“Are these my sweat pants?” Jean asked, pulling off of your neck and slipping one of his hands to the waistband of said sweats, snapping the band against your skin. 
“Mhm.” Unable to give any other answer as Reiner started rolling his hips up to yours, matching the roll of your own. Wasn’t intentional to wear either of their clothes but seeing how it looked now only made you more desperate for them and if that got you what you wanted, then where was the harm. Reiner began to tug at the waistband, sitting up on his elbows after hearing the short conversation between you and Jean, aiding him by lifting your hips and no longer straddling his waist. 
Enough teasing, you decided, pulling down Reiner’s boxer briefs after he tossed the sweats aside, gripping the base and watching his face contort at the contact. He was thick from the base up, intimidating you from the sight and size alone. Jean chuckled, moving to lay beside his friend, cupping the side of his face and hovering above his lips. Interesting to see there was no resistance from Reiner when their lips slipped together, craning to reach the ashy haired man like he was desperate for his taste. Smirking while the two of them made out, you flattened your tongue over the top of Reiner’s cockhead, fluttering your eyes at the delicious groan that Jean swallowed from Reiner. It’d take some working up to taking his dick all the way down, girthy enough to know your jaw would ache when it was all said and done. 
Sucking around the head and moaning when Reiner’s hand reached down to grip Jean’s dick still shielded by the fabric of his briefs, seeing his hand move up and down. Had they done this before? You couldn't help but wonder the more you took Reiner’s dick down seeing how they were both so comfortable with each other’s touch, and the slight jealousy of being left out. Jean’s hip rutted into Reiner’s hand, breaking their make out session to finally pull his briefs off and give you a look at what he was packing as well. It was slightly longer than Reiner’s, by an inch or two but not as thick, pausing your bobbing head to stare between his legs. 
“I think she likes it.” Reiner hissed, bringing a hand to your head, pushing you further down his dick and letting his head fall back when the tip brushed the back of your throat. 
“Haven’t met anyone who hasn’t.” Jean quipped back, moving off the bed and coming to stand behind you. You watched Reiner’s eyes follow him, a sly smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. Warm hands massaged your ass cheeks, gasping around the cock still deep in your throat when two fingers swiped over your clothed pussy. 
“Fucking soaked.” He commented behind you, Reiner groaning approvingly as he still guided your head up and down on his dick. Jean then pulled your panties down, tossing them over to Reiner who shamelessly brought them to his nose, listening to him mutter a few words and pull you off of his dick to give you a break. Jean then took to spreading you apart, licking a strip from your clit to your entrance, squeaking out a moan and falling forward onto Reiner’s abdomen. The blonde pulled you forward until your tits dangled in his face, taking one into his mouth. 
“Holy shit-” Gasping at the double stimulation, forgetting all shame and grinding back into Jean’s face, who appreciated the gesture with a firm slap to one ass cheek, dipping his tongue inside you, slurping obnoxiously. You were shaking, struggling to hold yourself up, moaning like the whore you felt like. Reiner managed to keep you steady above him, holding you so he could bite and suck at your over sensitive nipples. You knew both of them were experienced but fuck, they were intent on making it impossible to make any future hookups impossible to enjoy, hoping this wouldn’t be a one time thing. 
Reiner suddenly bit down hard on your nipple, pulling off it with a tug and causing you to wince at the slight pain. Unsure of what would cause him to do that, you turned around to see one of Jean’s hands between your bodies, languidly stroking the blonde’s spit coated dick. This wasn’t exactly the right time to question the nature of your two friends' relationship, but the way Reiner was moaning and struggling to return to the task at hand, it continuously flashed in the back of your head. Jean was still buried in your pussy while simultaneously jacking Reiner off, pressing your forehead to Reiner’s and practically synchronizing your moans. 
“Fuck, have you two done this before?” asking the man below you, watching his slow nod come before his answer. 
“Yea - fuck - every once in a while.” panting as his hips grinded into Jean’s hand, and sitting up enough to where he could pry the man away, seconds away from cumming. 
Jean took the hint, also pulling away from your pussy and stroking it affectionately. You winced at the final slap he gave to your ass, coming back to lay beside Reiner, taking the side of his face and turning it towards him. 
“Pussy tastes fuckin’ devine.” 
“Oh yea?” Bolding swiping his tongue over Jean’s bottom lip, speaking as if you weren’t there listening to them talk. You watched as they kissed again, yearning for the combined taste and chastising yourself for not noticing the signs for whatever they had going on sooner. 
“Think I need a better taste for myself, lay down for me baby.” Reiner instructed, already moving to get out from under you. Jean chuckled deviously, pecking the side of your mouth and moving to the very back of the bed, reclining against the headboard, patting his inner thigh. Reiner immediately knew what he was wanting and waited until you were sitting between the other man’s legs to center him between yours. 
“Keep’em spread for me.” Glancing up to the other man, running his palms over your inner thighs. 
You were already so sensitive from Jean eating you out minutes ago, you were afraid you weren’t going to last much longer. Nevertheless, you let Jean hook your legs over his and watched on baited breath as the blonde examined your slick and puffy folds. 
“Fuck, such a pretty pussy.” His voice so airy, breathing over your cunt prior to latching onto your clit. Your back arched off of Jean’s chest, whining at the intentionally harsh sucks. The man behind you held you down with an arm around your chest, chuckling right beside your ear. Reiner looked up, smiled against your tingling flesh and flicked his tongue over your clit while he continued to suck. 
Jesus fucking christ, it was too much, you were already starting to feel yourself cum when Jean’s hand tipped your head back. “Don’t cum, not yet gorgeous.” 
“Jean, I can’t.” Mewling pathetically, feeling the beginnings of tears at your waterline from the overstimulation. 
“Sure you can.” Giving a slow grind of his dick on your lower back, the promise of a silent reward if you did what you were told. Keeping your head thrown back on his shoulder you shamelessly moaned and whimpered as Reiner alternated between sucks and swirls of his tongue, listening to his chuckles as you writhed against Jean. He finally pulled away only to shove his middle and ring finger inside, pulling you too look at him by your chin as he sat on his knees between your legs and furiously fingered you. 
“Fuck look at you, so pretty baby.” He cooed with a smirk, running along the spongy part deep inside of you and giving a small tilt of his head, knowing you would take it as your indicator to cum. 
You came on a broken cry, arched off Jean’s chest and pulsating around Reiner’s fingers. Both of them laughed endearingly at their combined success at getting you to come. Reiner pulled his fingers out, locked his eyes with yours and sucked the two digits clean. Jean was the one who moaned behind you at the act, dick still grinding into your lower back subtly. 
“Think you’re okay to take one of us?” One of them asked, still delirious from your orgasm to tell who was asking. You gave a nod and sat forward, not really caring how but still feeling the ache in your cunt for more. 
“Alright hands and knees then princess.” It was Jean instructing, hearing his voice vibrate in his chest that was still pressed to your back. 
On shaky legs you sat on your knees, watching them move around as you positioned yourself on all fours. Reiner was still behind you, massaging your ass cheeks and letting out huffs of appreciation at your puffy wet folds, his and Jean’s handy work. Jean sat on his knees in front of your face, running a loose fist over his angry cock, using the pre-cum leaking from the slit to lubricate his motions. 
“If it’s too much, pinch my thigh or kick the brute behind you.” Jean swooned, holding your head up to look at him as he spoke, stroking his thumb over your bottom lip, watching the anticipation blaze in his irises. 
“We’ll take care of you angel,” Reiner pressed himself into your back, lips brushing against the shell of your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. All you could do was nod, witness the shared glance between both of them and wait on pins and needles. 
The fat head of Reiner’s cock started to slide between your folds teasingly, wetting the tip and making it hard to focus on your gentle kisses you were giving to Jean’s. It was good they were both aware of their size and knew they couldn’t just shove themselves in disregarding you completely, but holy shit, if your weeping cunt wasn’t enough to entice Reiner to slip inside you already then you weren’t sure what will. 
A hand held your jaw when you enclosed your lips around the tip, sucking long and slow, tasting the salty pre that continuously leaked out. Jean’s head was thrown back, the defined muscles cascading over his body clenching the more you took in his cock more. You could hear Reiner chuckle on a low breath, pushing just the tip inside of you and giving a full body shutter. If their goal was to drive you insane with their pace, it was working, taking things into your own hands and pushing your hips back into Reiner until you were flush to his pelvis. 
He choked, dug his fingers into your hip and somewhat growled with the ragged breaths he was taking. It was Jean’s turn to laugh now, the sound so disgustingly seductive you could feel yourself grow wetter around the cock you shoved yourself on. 
“God you’re fucking tight, feels so good.” The blonde breathed out, pulling his hips back nearly all the way, returning the favor by thrusting forward and sending Jean’s cock deeper down your throat. The hand not holding your chin tangled harshly in your hair, looking down with parted lips and hooded eyes at the sight and little reaction you gave. They may have known you all your life but they didn’t know how well you could take dick, letting a small amount of pride surge through you at their astonishment.  
Their rhythm synchronized quickly, settling somewhere in the middle of not too soft and not too rough, letting you adjust to their respective sizes. You knew it wouldn’t last before they abandoned it all and used you to find their pleasure, just from radiating restraint coming off of them, eventually fucking your throat and pussy like you were nothing but a hole to be filled and that thought alone was exciting. 
“Shit, do that again.” Jean breathily exclaimed, enjoying the method of your tongue swirling around his shaft as he plunged in and out of your mouth, tipping your head back with the hand still in your hair. Giving him a hum, you repeated the action, felt your stomach flip in on itself as he moaned prettily. 
There was a slight hitch in breath from the man behind you, faltering in his thrusts and seemingly regaining his composure. Something about Reiner experiencing the same surge of arousal as your were at Jean’s expression and action thickened the lust hanging in the air around you. He didn’t resume his pace like you were expecting him to, but yanked back into focus on Jean tightening his grip in your hair and pistoning his hips forward, fucking your throat with vigor, something snapping inside him. 
“There you go, gorgeous.” Growling, inhaling sharply through his nose. Your eyes were welling up with tears, the ache in your jaw beginning but you didn’t want to stop, not until his cum was trickling down your throat, leaving you no choice but to swallow. Reiner palmed both of your ass cheeks, spreading them far apart and slamming into with the same force Jean was. This sudden switch up had your legs nearly buckling, tears rolling down your cheeks and pathetic whines and whimpers muffled. Your pussy fluttered around Reiner everytime Jean thrusted down your throat, the wet squelching noise turning obscene, your gummy walls sucking the blonde back in over and over, like your pussy craved to be stretched and fucked on his thick cock. 
“Fuck she feels so good, so wet,” Reiner groaned, talking to Jean, again like you weren’t there. 
“Mm, she sucks cock better than you.” Jean groaned back at the mental image his friend was painting, acknowledging your mouth felt just as good as your pussy probably did. 
“Not my fault, you barely give me a chance before trying to get me inside you.” 
Their banter of a conversation sending you into a new wave of arousal, images of their bulky bodies fighting over who would fuck who and never in your life did you think something like that would turn you on. Despite it being your two best friends fueling these fantasizing images, you couldn’t help but want to be in the middle of that from here on out. From the way both of them fucked you, there wasn’t any desire to look for anymore hook-ups, not when the two perfect candidates were right here. 
“Gonna cum princess, be a good girl and swallow it all for me.” A husky voice drawing you back to reality, doing your best to give him a nod and look up at him with doe-like eyes, a trick that worked on just about every guy. 
With a slow drawn out groan, Jean pushed the entirety of his cock into your mouth and down your throat, pressing your nose to the happy trail below his belly button. Hot ropes of cum shot down your throat, feeling him ease up and pull out of your mouth so he wouldn’t accidentally choke you with his cum. He gave you a lopsided smile, wiping away the milky liquid from your bottom lip and the corner of your mouth with his thumb, shuffling over to Reiner who was still fucking your pussy absolutely raw. You could only assume the blonde cleaned off the cum smeared thumb Jean presented him, based on the hiss and brief collision of mouths. 
A heavy palm landed on the center of your back, forcing you off of your elbows holding you up and forming a deep arch in your back. From this angle, Reiner was able to sink so much deeper inside you, splitting you in half on his thick cock, crying out with a moan. 
“Glad I held off, been dying to hear those pretty moans again baby.” He chuckled, putting more of his weight into the hand on your back, forcing you to keep the arch. 
“Fuck Reiner, don’t stop.” Gasping, twisting the bedsheets in a tight fist, the tears welling up in your eyes again. 
“Don’t plan to, sweetheart, I want to see you leaking by the time I’m done.” 
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, unable to stop the constant moans and incoherent noises leaving your lips. Jean had come back into view, partially laying down beside you, keeping your hair out of your eyes and giving you a look of endearing smugness, like watching you getting fucked by Reiner was better than fucking you himself. 
Skin slapping on skin echoed in the bedroom, your body coated in a layer of sweat and your limbs so weak that if it weren’t for Reiner holding you by the hips now, you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself upright. Your spongy walls clenched repeatedly around him after another orgasm, unsure of how many at this point. 
“Doin’ so good, doll.” Jean cooed, pinching the nipple he had been messing with and muffling your broken squeak with a soft kiss, keeping you occupied. Reiner grunted, beginning to break his steady harsh rhythm and fucking into you furiously with abandon. His breathing turned into short gasps, letting out something of a whine, tipping his head back with two final slams of his hips before cumming inside of you. 
A familiar warmth filled your pussy, moaning weakly into Jean’s lips, giving up on holding your position. Reiner pulled out slowly, groaning as he watched a glob of his cum drip from your hole. You collapsed on the bed, forcing yourself to turn over and lay on your back, placing your hands over your eyes to ease the dizziness you were experiencing. 
Just when you thought all the nerve endings in your body were shot, you sprung forward when a flat tongue glided over your folds, seeing Reiner lap up the mess he made between your legs, smirking and moving out of the way so Jean could do the same thing. 
“Fucking filthy.” Muttering at the sight of them both taking turns cleaning you up, your legs twitching and tingling from sensitivity. They both looked at you guiltless, even though you were shaking with overstimulation that didn’t stop you from pressing Jean’s head into your folds, watching as he eagerly lapped at Reiner’s cum. They switched again, Reiner being gentler this time, only running his tongue across your messy slit twice before using his middle finger to shove some of it back in. 
Reiner moves out from between your legs to lay beside you, cradling the side of your face for the sole purpose of giving you a taste of his cum. You were just as shameless, moaning into the kiss and running your hand through his sweaty hair, feeling him smirk against your lips. He pulled away, grabbing Jean by the back of the neck and slotting his lips between his, kissing him rather tenderly. 
With zero strength to make it to the bathroom, let alone your room to grab a change of clothes, Reiner and Jean took the liberty of taking care of you. Both of them pulling on their sweats thrown around the room, Reiner cleaned your inner thighs while Jean went to your room to grab you some underwear after tossing you one of Reiner’s sweatshirts. All three of you situated yourself into Reiner’s king bed, you of course in the middle of them both. There was so point in going back to your room and studying, not when you had several unanswered questions. 
“So how long have you two been dating?” They both froze beside you, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 
“We’re not dating, we just fuck occasionally.” Jean answered, Reiner nodding to further reaffirm the statement, but you weren’t buying it. Their chemistry in bed was enough to convince you they’d been hiding a relationship from you. 
“You just fuck? No feelings attached?” 
“There’s obviously feelings when we’ve been friends this long, but we’re not exclusive.” Reiner responded, propping himself up on his elbow and looking in the direction of you and Jean. “We didn’t tell you because there wasn’t anything serious between us.” 
Okay, that made more sense than you were expecting too. But experiencing what you just did created a longing inside of you, one that might’ve been there that you didn’t want to acknowledge before now. Jean and Reiner were your best friends without a doubt, but they were also so much more than that and in order to not ruin the friendship, you shoved that deep down inside of you. 
“But,” Jean’s hands from behind turned you to look towards him. “We’re also not opposed to the idea of you being a part of this situationship.” 
“You’ve talked about this?” Surprised to know this wasn’t a coincidence happening, sounding like they planned this in a way. 
“Of course we have, do you know how long both of us have had a crush on you?” Reiner laughed, sending your mind into a flurry of confusion. They liked you? Like holding affectionate feelings beyond friendship for you? 
“Huh?” 
“Since junior or senior year of high school. We didn’t know we both felt the same way about you until after we had sex for the first time six months ago, agreeing that if it ever came to the point where you chose one of us over the other we would be okay with it.” Jean was speaking now, softly and almost lovingly, sending a blush to your face. 
“And we’ll never ask you to choose, if you want only one of us that’s fine and if you end up wanting both of us, that’s fine too.” Reiner spoke with the same inflection Jean did, softly smiling and looking at you endearingly. 
“I want both of you.” Blurting out without even thinking twice, hearing them laugh. But you knew you would rather have both than just one, it's always been the three of you. 
“Don’t decide now idiot, we’re being serious.” Jean pinched your shoulder with a frustrated grunt, rolling his eyes while Reiner just laughed softly. 
“We can talk about it more tomorrow, it’s late.” Reaching over to turn the lamp off on his bedside table, pulling you down under the comforter into his arms and kissing the top of your head. Jean shuffled behind you, pressing his chest to your back and kissing your cheek. 
For a few moments you refused to close your eyes, trying to break down all the new feelings and emotions you were experiencing, from earlier when you were at their mercy, to the confession from them both. It was in a way exciting, and whatever ended up happening between the three of you, it would work out in the end.
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makeyoumine69 · 3 months
Text
Till Death Do Us Part Masterlist 🪓 | Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader Series
— PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader; [no y/n]
— SYNOPSIS: 1987. Your name is Rebecca Rice, you were born in Houston, Texas, but then your family moved to New York City in hopes of a better life. And it really paid off, as your father became successful in business and made several important acquisitions—the Bateman family being one of them. You and Patrick have known each other since childhood, but you have never liked each other. A golden boy from day one, he despised you because you were not as rich as he was. Fortunately, you parted ways after high school and have seen each other several times over the years, as your mother has a good relationship with Mrs. Bateman. At some point, you even thought that your teenage crush on Patrick had faded and you finally managed to build relationships with another guy, but sadly, it didn't work out because your family didn't accept him. Just like they didn't like your choice of career, but you didn't care because you always wanted to work in the medical field and help people, being a nurse was really tough. The hardest times came when one day your mother told you that in order to help your father you had to marry Patrick Bateman and you had no other choice because you didn't even know what was behind this deal, but you promised yourself that one day you would find the answers to all your questions. If you survived this marriage, of course. For it was obvious that sooner or later everyone would expect you to bring an heir into this world. The world of corruption and sin.
— CONTAINS: SMUT, ARRANGED MARRIAGE, enemies to lovers dynamics, dark explicit sexual content, drugging, breeding, misogyny, degradation, objectification, etc.
— A/N: This is my secret writing project that I've been working on all this time with one of my good friends. I couldn't stop thinking about the concept of an arranged marriage since I wrote Obsession. So I decided to make an experiment and write a story with a reader, but without y/n, who has an established background and name. I hope it works out and you will enjoy experiencing this story through Rebecca's eyes!
Amazing cover by @iron-flavored-lipgloss!💋
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Chapter one — 02/07/2024
Chapter two — 05/07/2024
Chapter three — 10/07/2024
Chapter four — 13/07/2024
Chapter five — 24/07/2024
Chapter six — 03/08/2024
Chapter seven — 05/08/2024
Chapter eight — 09/08/2024
Chapter nine
Chapter ten
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Related songs:
Kim Wilde — You Keep Me Hangin’ On
 Stevie Nicks — Edge of Seventeen
 Britney Spears — Criminal
Stevie Wonder—Part-Time Lover
Sade—Smooth Operator
Roxette—Listen to Your Heart
Laura Branigan—Self Control
Modern Talking—Cheri Cheri Lady
Pet Shop Boys—It’s a Sin
Miley Cyrus—Gimme What I Want
Pastel Ghost—Shadows (Slowed Version)
Britney Spears—Break The Ice
Katy Perry—E.T.
Madonna—Like a Prayer
Cascada—Everytime We Touch (Acoustic)
Thank you for your time!🖤✌
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year
Note
Bullied yan x delinquent reader who beats up their bullies once (probably because they were in the readers spot or getting in their way) know bullied yan clings to the reader and treats them like a god and basically willingly becomes their slave and the reader just looks at them with disgust and slight concern.
Bullied yan: I’ll kill them all if you told me to
Delinquent reader: that’s fucking stupid- you’d be throwing your life your away by murdering someone or anyone for no reason other than “somebody told me too”, don’t waste your life like that
Bullied: Y-You care about my life
Delinquent reader: NO! Fuck off
[light violence, excessive language]
"Alright, idiots. Since you chucklefucks clearly forgot how things run around here while I was away - I'd say it's time for another lesson. Line up and spread 'em."
Trembling in fear, your fellow delinquents part their fingers wide as they place their hands palms down on the gravel - breathing quickened as your looming shadow towers over their battered forms. Whistling along, you step over their hands in a leisurely stride - twisting your heels into the backs of their hands and crushing their fingers raw. You stare down every one of your victims - drawing your foot back to plant it square in the chest of the bully who immediately retracts their hands at you step off their hand. Yanking them forward by the collar as they reel, you crack them hard upside their head as you his.
"Did I fucking say you could move, bitch? I should break every god damn bone in your body for the shit you've been pulling lately, but I'm not trying to get expelled. "
The bully covers their face, shrinking as you ball your fist. "W-we're sorry, Y/n. We thought you were going to be out for the rest of the week. Please don't hurt me.."
What's happening...? The bullies who made their few short weeks in town a living hell - cowering as if they were cut from the same cloth. How-
Thomas had never been the most liked by their peers. Nish interests and their weak frame made them a prime target for bullying. Their parents already had the car packed at the first sign of trouble and off to the next district to try again instead of taking the easy route and letting them in their high school years at home. They tried harder to fit in this time. Blended with the crowd, stuck to themself and their books. In such a short time their family had found stable jobs and made friends with their neighbors. They didn't want to take that away from them, even at the expense of their own happiness away well being.
The bullies here were a different breed. All it took was mistaking one of their bags as their own for everything to crumble around Thomas. The next day they found glass in their locker, accusing words etched into their desk. They were hounded for the money from their part-time job and beaten when they refused to comply. What made matters worse was there were rumors of someone worse than them on suspension after assaulting another student in the parking lot. This was hell, and if they had to deal with another bully they likely wouldn't survive. All they wanted was for someone - anyone to rescue them from this nightmare.
"I've told you time and time again that the bleachers are my territory. You dumbasses think you're sneaky, but you always leave cigarettes and other filth behind. I want you to clean your shit up - and get the fuck off my property."
You look back at Thomas like a beast to prey. "And I want you to return everything you stole from that guy. I let you off the hook easy one to many times. On second thought, gimme me that."
You tear the watch off leader's wrist and throw it at them as you walk pass. "Pawn it. Should be worth almost as much as they took."
Thomas misses the catch, scrambling to their feet to pick up the watch. "T....thank you?"
You scoff. "Don't thank me. Those morons never learn and needed an explanation of what happens when you mess with my shit. Stay away from me or you'll end up just like them."
You push past them as you walk off. Thomas would later come to find you were the student spoken of in rumors and the guy you nearly put in the hospital had tried to fight you the authority you never sought to claim. Many saw you as another target for your reserved nature until you put them in their place with your fist. You were almost alike in that regard. Challenged by peers for your differences. Unlike Thomas, you had the courage to hold your ground and knock someone down if needed. It was aw inspiring. It was enchanting. Maybe you were more alike than they'd originally thought. Thomas had always longed for companionship and maybe deep down you wanted the same. Partners in this cruel, fucked up world.
The next day, Thomas waits outside for you to show. You arrive almost thirty minutes late making it the first day they've ever been late for class, but they were fully prepared to shed their old self to make room for whatever you wanted them to be. They run up to you, digging through their bag as they call out.
"Ah - Y/n! Wait!"
You turn, annoyance clear as day. "Yea?..."
Thomas laughs, oddly giddy at the aggression in your tone. "So that is your name... I, uh - have a present for you. My mom goes hunting in the fall and really wants me to come with her. She gave me this as an early gift and I thought you'd be better with it."
Raising a brow, your curiosity plummets as the sheath of the item Thomas drew comes into view. A hunting knife, roughly sixteen inches in length and engraved with their initials. It felt almost romantic to give something with their name to you. Your eyes shoot around the open hall; shoving their hands and the knife back into their bag as your voice drops to a venom posed whisper.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Thomas giggles hysterically. They never wanted to wash their hands again. "Y-you're touching me...."
"Why did you bring that here? Are you trying to get us both kicked out or arrested?"
"I-I just wanted to give you something to help you out if you get into trouble again. You said it yourself that they never learn. There's no better lesson than slitting someone's throat, right? If you're worried about getting caught you don't have to be. I'll take care of everything - and even if we do get caught I'll take the blame."
You let them go, wiping your hands on your shirt as your face scrunched in disgust. "You're stupider than you look. Stay the fuck away from me freak - and don't throw your life away over dumb shit like someone knocking you around.
Thomas sighs as you storm off. They feel as though they should be upset, but even in threat it almost sounds like you're just looking out for them in your own, special way. This move really had been a change - for the better.
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gummygowon · 2 years
Text
wanna be yours | choi san
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word count: 8k (longest one yet lads)
genre: non-idol au, experienced!san x best friend/virgin!reader, fluff, smidges of angst, and smut
warnings: pwp, protected sex, slight hair-pulling?, cunnilingus f receiving, the concept of virginity, drinking and i think that's it? but please lmk if i missed anything!
a/n: this is my first like smut-smut so please so beware lol but other than that i'm really proud of how this turned out! also this is dedicated and a belated xmas present to @agustdiv1ne bc she has helped me sm with this oneshot omfg (ty again bae <;3)
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the friday night after finals could only mean one thing. getting absolutely shitfaced at mingi's before going back home from university. because how else are you supposed to de-stress in college?
although you weren't at that level of drunk yet at the small house party your friend hosted, you still agreed to play truth or dare like immature high schoolers.
following a giggling hyejoo to the living room, you hear seonghwa asking something about being too old to be playing such a childish game followed by wooyoung pointing out that he still came over to play so who cares. sitting in between hyejoo and san, you naturally gravitate towards your best friend linking your arm with his for warmth.
"hi sannie." you beam brightly at him, you cheeks flushed red from the alcohol.
"hi y/n." he smiles down at you again, his dimple poking out. san didn't drink that much tonight since he was a lightweight and didn't want to feel whatever terrifying concoction mingi and jongho made up in the kitchen in preparation for the people who didn't want to answer their truth or do their dares.
after settling down in a rough circle, wooyoung starts the game by asking yeosang if he ever got caught masturbating which lead him to go take a shot of the mystery juice. the shot caused him to gag horribly after he downed it leading to jongho and mingi high-fiving each other in accomplishment.
next, yeosang got karina to admit some dirty secret of her hooking with her ta in calc causing giselle to shout out about her doubts of karina's grade being so high in calc for someone who doesn't go to class. as the game went on, hyejoo and yunho ended up topless and honjoong and san fell victim to the mystery juice and was even tipsier than when the game started. you on the other hand were dared to go lick either wooyoung's toe or shoe and you opted for the shoe of course because you did not where his feet have been and you had to confess to ever surviving a no nut november (last year you almost folded but still got through). this turn however, things got a little more interesting.
wooyoung had dared you to go make out with san in a closet and although no one knew about your little secret crush on san besides hyejoo, wooyoung had a knack for knowing who everyone was into. it was scary honestly, he predicted a lot of relationships and figured out who was who's sneaky link.
"so, what's it gonna be y/n? shot or closet?" wooyoung presses with a smirk on his face. he knew. oh, that fucker.
your eyes drift to san to make sure he was comfortable with the idea which lead to him shrugging his shoulders, "i'm down if you're okay with it."
with a tug, you pull san up from his seat and look wooyoung dead in the eye, "closet."
"alright then," he claps his hands as he gets up to usher you to the storage closet in the living room, "come out whenever you're ready, we're gonna keep playing while we wait, alright lovebirds?"
you roll your eyes and shoo wooyoung away from the door, "fuck off."
with the shut of the door, you realize how close you were to san. whatever nerves you had from the wave of courage you had five minutes ago disappeared more and more as san looked down at you.
"we don't have to do it, if you don’t want to." he reassures as he reaches for your arms in order to comfort you.
"i w-wanna do it." you stutter making your heart beat out of your chest even more. "i'm just-i've never done it before."
san looks at you perplexed, he knew about all the terrible dates and weird exes you had so he assumed that you at least made out with them. "i thought-"
"i didn't, i haven't even lost my virginity yet and now i'm really scared because i'm kissing my best friend who probably thinks they're a prude and what if i'm really bad and i mess things up and you hate it for it and-"
to shut you up, san presses his lips against yours as you melt into the kiss and allow him to take over. with a smooth swipe of his tongue, you part your lips slightly just enough for him to slip in earning a sweet moan from you. his hand sneaks his way to the back of your head to pull you even closer to him and further deepen the kiss.
when you pull back, your lipstick was all over his face and your lips were puffy and swollen. your eyes were locked on san as he put his forehead on yours, his eyes closed as he chest heaved up and down to catch his breath.
"you're not so bad." he comments, still not looking up at you. "fast learner if anything."
"san!" you whine, slapping san on the shoulder causing him to open his eyes.
he backs up, trying to get away from you as much as he can in the cramped closet, "hey, i'm giving you a compliment."
"that's a shitty compliment." you fire back with a pout on your lips as your eyes focus on the floor.
swiftly, san reaches your chin with his thumb forcing you to look up at him. without even hesitating, san leans in kissing the pout off of your lips. with a sudden spark of rebellion, you pull at the belt loops on his pants and pull him close to you catching san by surprise.
this time san is the first one to pull away to catch his breath. "see, you're a fast learner." he breathlessly teases.
"i'm leaving." you half-joke as you reach for the door knob.
san immediately reaches for your arm, pulling you back into him, "nope, you're helping me clean this up." he states as he points to the lipstick smeared all over his face before feeling the wall around him for the lights.
"aren't you old enough to do this yourself?" you whine as you lick your thumb and try to rub off the pink lip gloss off his plump lips.
"yeah, but i want you to do it." san answers as he places his hands on your waist. absentmindedly, he begins to rub small circles onto your hips as you quietly undo the damage you did to his lips.
san probably didn't notice the effect he had on you but holy fucking shit your face felt ten times warmer than it was when you were kissing him. it could be the alcohol settling in possibly but who knows. maybe san just had that effect on you.
"you know san, you're really fucking hot." you confess without thinking as you wipe the lip gloss off your fingers. "i would date you, if i could."
it took a minute for san to process what the fuck you just said. there was a high chance he misheard you but if he did hear you correctly well, he's gonna keep you in here for another minute or so.
before san could even respond or even act out, you realize what you just said and immediately start freaking out.
"i did not mean that. i-" you stutter, waving your hands in the air.
a harsh knock came to the door followed by wooyoung poking his head out, "are the lovebirds done? joong and hyejoo wanna play a different game."
oh how you could kiss wooyoung for his amazing timing. "we're done." you quickly say as you smooth out your outfit before joining wooyoung in the living room leaving a confused san.
"y/n! how was it?" hyejoo slurs as she throws herself on you.
if whatever happened in the closet was the only thing san could remember from tonight, you were fucking doomed. for now though, that was an issue for tomorrow. tonight, you were going to indulge in a few more drinks in order to forget what happened moments ago.
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the next morning after mingi's was a rough one. your hangover was probably the worst one of the semester and boy was that telling. your memory from last night was a little foggy, some parts you recall very clearly some not. but the one thing you do fucking remember was wooyoung's sneaky ass setting you up with san during truth or dare. kissing san, you remembered very clearly maybe a little too clearly but whatever happened in between and after that was a blur. you briefly remembered wooyoung opening the door but that was about it.
rolling out of bed, you check your phone to see that san had called. annoyed, you call back hoping whatever it was a good enough reason for you to call in the morning.
"yah, choi san what do you want? it's so early?" you complain, rubbing your eyes awake.
"y/n, it's literally two pm." san deadpans.
"so?" you sass back, "it's still too early for me."
you hear san sigh on the other end, "ok anyways, did you finish the plan for the comp sci workshop? seonghwa is asking for it, he said you were supposed to send it earlier this morning."
a part of you freezes in shock while the other part of you scans your room for your laptop that was covered in papers and notes from studying. "you're fucking joking right."
"nope."
"oh my fucking god, i totally forgot about it while i was studying for exams shit. oh my fucking god. fuck." you curse as you hurriedly get out of bed.
"don't worry, i covered for your ass and told seonghwa that you were working on it which is why you weren't answering your phone. i'm also on the way to help you finish the plan because hwa has some suggestions for it too"
"oh bless your heart, choi san." you praise as you begin your morning routine.
it was around six o'clock by the time you submitted the doc and slideshow to seonghwa and holy fuck were you tired. there was no way you could have pulled this off without the help of san. truly thankful for your best friend, you offered to buy dinner on you and he had the opportunity to chose.
"on you, for real?" he asks in surprise as you begin to clean up the dinner table that was used as a makeshift desk for the past couple of hours. "i thought you were broke."
it took every fiber in you to not throw the hefty textbook in your hand at him. "do you want food or not."
"yes, please!" he immediately back tracks. "fried chicken is fine."
aggressively, you hand him your phone before heading back to your room to put everything away. "order what you want but don't pay i wanna get stuff for myself too."
"thank youuu." san sings as he begins to scroll through doordash.
while in your room, you took the chance to try and process your feelings. it was a no brainer you loved san. he was always there for you ever since you guys met each other in high school. san's been there for your worst and best days of your life and it was always a given that you were there for days like those for him.
however, your use of "love" began to slowly change this year. you've been single for awhile after your last breakup which was a lot of emotional damage to handle but san was always there to comfort you. him on the other hand looked for causal hookups, nothing serious. san was young, he confessed to not wanting to start any relationships because he just wanted to mess around for awhile until he graduated from college.
which left you wondering why you felt jealous whenever san couldn't hang out on friday nights or left the club early. it was probably obvious to everyone as to why you were jealous but you could never admit it.
it was way too cliche to have fallen for your best friend and it certainly didn't help that he didn't take anything seriously when it came to dating. but choi san made it hard for you to not fall for him.
san was the perfect gentlemen. he's always attentive and remembers the little things about you. he always knew when you were feeling sad or mad and always knew how to handle your moods. he knew your coffee order along with your fears. san knew your likes and dislikes and knew when to stop teasing you if you ever got upset or uncomfortable. not to mention he was fucking fine as hell. sure, it is a little weird to be calling your best friend hot but it's literally choi san. everyone's campus crush unfortunately. there was just no way you couldn't have fallen for him.
"y/n, how much are you gonna eat?" san shouts from down the hall pulling you out of your thoughts.
"uhhhh... how much are you gonna eat?" you ask, taking a moment to compose yourself before walking back into the living room.
at least you were his best friend. best friend. a title that left you feeling grateful yet wanting more. maybe one day, you would tell him how you truly feel about him but for now you're content with being his best friend.
"oh my god, there's mozzarella sticks too!" san chirps from the couch.
"get me one!" you shout as you jump onto the couch. "just mozzarella with sugar and i could go for a couple of wings."
"ok..." san trails as he inputs your order, "do you want something to drink?"
"no, it's fine. i have some soda and soju in the fridge."
"fuck yeah!"
once completing the order, san repeats what he has in the cart before pressing the "order now" button and hands back your phone.
"thanks sannie." you reach for the phone before continuing, "and for coming here to help me finish. i don't know what i would've done without you."
"no problem, anything for you." san answers with a smile on his face.
afterward, silence fell in the room. there were very rare occasions where silences were awkward but this one felt different. it felt tense? maybe you were reading into it too much but the atmosphere felt odd.
"you know," san begins breaking the silence, "you said some interesting things last night."
an abrupt cough broke your voice before you could reply, "i'm sorry what?"
san repeats what he said before continuing, "y'know, i wouldn't mind helping you out."
"helping me out with what?" your heart was practically beating of your chest when you questioned san. exactly what the fuck did drunk you say in that damn closet.
"yesterday, you mentioned that you were a virgin before we kissed and that you were a little embarrassed about it."
"so, you're asking me if i would want you to help me lose my virginity?" you ask, not quite sure if you're hearing the words come out of san's mouth right.
"yeah, i mean it's better than losing it to a complete stranger right? but if talking about this is making you uncomfortable i will shut up about this and pretend this never happened. you just gotta tell me." the man across from you reassures, his face unreadable.
"i can't tell if you're joking about this."
"why would i joke about something that you have an issue with?" san responds back, his tone serious.
you take a minute to let his words soak in because you're still sure you're not hearing him correctly. choi san, your best friend wants to take your virginity? and why are you lowkey comfortable with the idea? are best friends supposed to be doing this? doesn't this break some type of boundary or cross some line of being friends?
"if you don't want to, there's no rush y/n. i'm only offering this because i think you would be comfortable with someone you know and trust. plus, i'm already tested and i'm clean so you don't need to worry about catching anything."
san made great points on his case and you really wanted to lose your v-card and to him? even better. your only concern was how would this affect your friendship afterward. what if your feelings for him get too strong?
"you promise this won't affect our friendship?"
"i swear on it." san raises his pinky out, "i promise this won't affect anything between us. it'll just be like me doing another favor for you."
taking his pinky with yours, you seal the promise by using your thumb to connect with his, "deal."
"deal." san agrees as he smiles, his dimple poking out. "can i ask you a few questions though?"
"shoot away."
"you've cummed before right?"
"uh yeah." you answer, feeling slightly uncomfortable with talking about such a taboo topic with your best friend. you've heard bits and pieces of san's sex life but he's never heard about yours and now is the perfect time to start laying out everything.
"so you've masturbated before?" you nod in response leading to san asking a few more follow up questions, "with your fingers or with a toy?"
"both, hyejoo got me a vibrator for my birthday."
"oh? we love to see it." san comments with a surprised look on his face, "what are you into and what are some hard no's?"
"hmmm, i'm definitely into praise. maybe hair-pulling? oh, and i like it when people are possessive? y'know when someone let's their partner know that they their's or something. hard no's though would be degradation but do i like dirty talk."
out of all the things you've confessed tonight, saying no to degradation got an eyebrow raise from san.
"what?" you snap, "call me a whore and you're fucking dead."
"noted." san raises his arms up in surrender.
"your turn now, what are you into and not?" a part of you was a little excited to hear about what he had to say.
"well, i like to hear and give praise and sometimes edging. i also like it when someone pulls my hair and when they're loud. it lets me know that i'm doing something right. i also wouldn't mind getting topped. but i'm not into super bdsm or anything extreme right now."
"interesting, i'll keep that in mind."
"last question, i swear." san starts, "have you ever been eaten out before?"
"no. i didn't really get into much with any of my partners."
"well," he pauses for dramatic effect, "you wanna know how it feels like?"
"like, right now?" there goes your heart again, racing a hundred miles per hour.
"i mean we have some time before the food gets here so..."
the mere thought of san going down on you and being the first person to do had you rubbing your thighs together. "fuck it."
the both of you move to the couch where you let san climb on top. "is it okay, if i kiss you again?"
you nod, afraid to use your voice. this was really happening.
"yes, please." you whisper, still not trusting your voice.
"i need words baby." san demands as one of his hands lifts your chin up.
"don't be shy baby, it's just me." he comforts as the hand on your chin rises to your cheek. "i'll take care of you, just relax."
looping your hands around his neck, you nod beginning to allow yourself to relax. san uses the hand on your cheek to meet him in the middle as he pulls you into a sweet kiss. it was less sloppier than the last time you kissed him yet san was already pulling sounds out of your mouth and he hadn't even touched you yet.
san pulls away moving his lips to your neck as he softly licks different spots on your neck, switching between kitten licks and nibbling. soft pants were escaping your mouth which made san want to hear more from you. with the next lick of your neck, san followed up with a harder bite on your neck but quickly soothed the pain with the swipe of his tongue eliciting a sweet moan from you.
you could feel san's smile of victory on your neck as he leaves one last kiss on your neck before pulling away. "ready?" he asks, waiting for a verbal confirmation which you comply with quickly. "just relax and let me do the work. don't hesitate to stop me if you ever feel comfortable."
this time you nod your head shyly in response as san eyes you down for any signs of discomfort. "i trust you."
san smiles in response as one of his hands begin to travel downwards, his lips going back to your neck. his hands start off with a small rub on your hips then snake further down to the waistband of your pants. you were beyond grateful you were wearing some of your newer underwear but that was in the back of your mind when san cupped your clothed core.
"oh fuck." you groan, his fingers taking you by surprise as they run and up down your slit.
"already such a mess and i've barely touched you." he coos at you making you whimper.
"stop teasing please," you plead, grabbing onto his arm.
san removes his hand from your pants causing you to pout but before you could even whine, san pulls down your sweats after moving to the edge of the couch.
"fuck," san groans, the sight of you dripping for him was making him lose his mind.
san takes small kitten licks, taking his sweet time with you as he watches for your reactions. these small licks weren't doing it for you though as one of your hands snaked to the back of his head trying to use it as leverage to speed things up.
"patience, baby." he says as he presses your hips down, making you whimper.
"please, just go faster," you beg, looking at him hopelessly.
as on cue, san takes two fingers to spread your lips apart before quickening his pace. the difference in speed had you gasping as you tugged on his hair.
"ooh my god, so close." you pant, the grip on his hair tightening.
san groans into your sopping pussy sending vibrations into your core and bringing you closer to the edge. to add on to the burning feeling in your stomach, he brings a hand up to your clit to speed up ur orgasm.
"fuck, fuck, fuck!" you cry out feeling the knot in your stomach burst.
your orgasm washes over you, leaving you breathless as san continues to lick up your cum. the overstimulation building up was beginning to burn as you tug on san's hair to stop.
san immediately pulls away with your essence dripping down his chin but that doesn't stop him as he dives into a heated kiss with you, letting you taste yourself on your tongue.
when he pulls back a sickening smile spreads across his face, "thoughts?"
to be honest, you were completely breathless with how fucking amazing san just ate you out and with how san was staring down at you right now with a stupid smirk on his face. "that...was great."
the smile on his face is gone as san frowns, "just great? i put my all into that."
you roll your eyes, grabbing the nearest pillow, you smack san on the chest. "i can't really think right now asshole."
"is it because i ate you out really good?" san genuinely asks, a smile returning his face.
"no you dumbass, the project really got my ass." you throw your hands into the air, chest still heaving.
"oh."
"oh my god." you groan. "just give me my clothes."
"wait, let me clean you up first." san objects before jogging down your hall towards your bathroom.
upon returning, san found you half asleep as your eyes were shut. still, he got on his knees and carefully took the wet rag to clean you up and his face.
your eyes fluttered open to see san below you again dabbing the inside of your legs carefully with a towel. instinctively, your hand flies to his hair as you stroke through his locks. "thank you." you hum, "you really did a good job."
san physically tensed up at your touch or maybe it was your words, either way he pulled away with a light blush on his face as he handed you a fresh pair of underwear and sweats. "of course, next time should be even funner."
"funner isn't a word." you quip, trying to ignore the excitement pooling in your stomach for the next time you guys hook up.
"shut up and move." san shushes as he climbs onto the couch with you, pulling you into his side.
the warmth coming from his body was too delicious as you felt your eyes droop even further. "san, i'm gonna fall asleep."
"just nap and i'll wake you up when the food is here."
although you had your doubts about san waking you up as soon as the food came because you feared that he would take all the chicken legs and then wake you up, you awoke to everything untouched (thankfully).
the food tasted like heaven as you guys chowed down however san would argue that you tasted better than whatever chicken piece he was eating.
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ever since that night when san came over, something in you changed. you ached for san to touch you like that again and although you usually see san almost every day, you haven't seen him in a couple of days. you knew that he was busy finishing stuff up for clubs and packing for his trip home but something in you felt like something changed between the two of you.
maybe it was just you being extremely horny over your best friend that you didn't know how you would ever act normally near him after he ate you out. it also didn't help that you guys didn't set an official day for when you'll finally lose your virginity.
every now and then you would get the urge to just tell san to come over and fuck you but whatever sanity you had left in you refused to cave in so weakly like that.
speaking of the devil himself, san's name appeared on your phone.
morning wood: u wanna come over tonight?
morning wood: i just finished packing
hobbit: do u want me to bring something over for dinner?
morning wood: nah i can order pizza when u come over
morning wood: pepperoni good?
hobbit: yeah, i'll be over in thirty i just need to finish my laundry
morning wood: okayyy
morning wood liked a message from you
fuck. is this gonna be the night? like the night? shit. shit. should u shave? wear something sexy under some sweats just in case?
usually, san is super straightforward when it comes to shit like this so there should be no reason for you to be so freaked out. maybe you could be the one to initiate things? he did say he liked to be topped. wait, what if san genuinely wanted to hang out with you? and now you're only looking forward to seeing him because you wanna get dicked down.
your thoughts kept on racing as you sat in front of two outfits on your bed. casual loungewear with the possibility of wearing the ridiculously over-the-top lingerie underneath or something slightly with more effort which consisted of jeans and a cute cardigan.
still panicking over what to wear to your best friend's house you call hyejoo on the edge of having a meltdown.
"hell-"
"hyejoo! i need your help with what to wear san's. you rush completely cutting off your friend.
"well fuck, nice to see you too." hyejoo jokes commenting on your panicked state, "what's the occasion? wait is this the night you finally lose it?"
she knew almost every detail of what was going on between you and san. hyejoo lived for your updates and lately, she's been missing her nightly video chats of you screaming every little thing that had happened between you and san after the night at mingi's.
"that's the thing, i don't know what the occasion is. he just texted me to come over cause he's been hella busy lately tryna pack and shit."
"ahh that explains why you haven't called me in like four days."
"yes it does, but please help me. i don't know if i should like sort of dress up fancier? or like be sneaky and wear something bold underneath."
"well, you usually just wear sweats or whatever right?" you hum in agreement, "well then just wear sweats then wear the lingerie i got you."
"but what if i wear and be uncomfortable the whole time and we don’t even have sex."
"ok well, then just wear a matching set. preferably something that's not from high school, y/n."
"hey. i threw those away leave me alone." you argue back.
"whatever, anyways just wear a matching set in his favorite color just in case you guys do have sex."
"you are so fucking smart." you praise, as you rifle through your sock and underwear once more. "thank you so much, i'll call you if anything happens."
"ah i'm so excited!" hyejoo exclaims on the other end of the phone, "stay safe and use protection!"
"yes, mom. bye" you roll your eyes at the sudden change in hyejoo's voice.
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it was final. you decided on wearing a black matching set since you couldn't find your purple bra in your drawer. black will be fine right? it's still a sexy color? well, either way you thought you looked good as hell in black so you got a confidence boost from that.
soon you arrived at san's, with your heart beating out of your chest. a very rare feeling to have at your best friend's house but hey, what's one more boundary to cross?
tentatively, you knock on his door fiddling with one of the strings on your hoodie.
"hi."
"come in." san greets you wearing a loose pair of sweats and a tank top showing off his buff arms.
well shit, if you weren't wet at the possibility of having sex tonight, you were already wet from just looking at his physique. the way the tight tank top accentuated his tiny waist and broad shoulders had your mind running laps.
"you good?" san asks as he looks over at your spaced-out figure.
"yeah, i'm good. it's just," you rub a hand over face to stall as you think of an excuse, "i'm fine."
san just gives out a light chuckle at your response, "well, the pizza is on the counter if you want some but do you wanna watch anything?"
"ooo yes!" you slightly loosen up as you try to forget how you got caught checking out your best friend, "chainsaw man?"
"yeah sure, i've been wanting to catch up on that."
"perfect!" you clasp your hands together in excitement.
"blanket?"
"yes, please."
you continue to fiddle with the strings of your hoodie dealing with both your horniess and anxiety. when san returned to the couch with one of his (yours actually) favorite blanket, you instinctively scooted closer to san for double warmth.
however, you failed to remember that your lewd thoughts were still in the back of your mind and as san was slowly typing in "chainsaw man" into the search bar, you kept fidgeting trying to find the best way where you relieved some sort of pressure and felt comfortable.
"are you sure you're okay?" san looks down at you. his words felt like he was pushing you to admit to something you didn't want to say out loud.
"i-uh,um." you couldn't even think straight with san staring down at you like that. "i think i'm ready."
san just stares at you in confusion, "i love the confidence but for what?"
you hopelessly look at him, praying he understands what you mean. "you know..." the blush on your face gets stronger every minute you say something dumb.
san understood what you meant. actually, he had a feeling that you wanted to the minute you started checking him out. still though, he played dumb wanted to hear you say it out loud.
"i don't know, actually."
"san!" you whine at him.
still, your pleas had no effect on you as he stared at you with a blank face.
"i'mreadytohavesexwithyou." you blurt out really fast not even daring to open your eyes. you hear san laugh and the feeling of wanting to crawl up in a hole and die grew exponentially. immediately you hide underneath the blanket hoping san would disappear if you wished hard enough.
"y/n," san pulls the covers down to enough to reveal your eyes. "it's okay." you refused to remove the blanket completely but still pulled it down just enough that your whole face was exposed. "if you want to have sex now you just have to tell me. i'm perfectly fine with waiting too, it's all up to you."
"can you please just fuck me." you pout. "now, please."
a soft smile appears on san's face as he scoops you up into his arms. "you're so cute."
"wait, where am i going?" you ask as you tilt your head to see where san's taking you.
"i am not taking your virginity on a craig's list couch."
"fair enough."
gently, san lays you on his bed before crawling towards you. once your head is on one of his pillows, san's hands trail to the hem of your shirt. "can i kiss you?"
the way those words left his mouth felt so soft and pure. you were so glad you ditched the idea of losing your v-card to a random tinder date. you trusted san enough to take good care of you and he did.
"yes, please." you answer, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in.
the kiss started off slow, as san took his time with you. his lips molded perfectly with yours. your arms tug on his neck to bring him even closer as san spreads your legs with his knee. the top of his knee came into contact with your aching core causing you to moan in the kiss.
san pulls away with swollen lips, his hands trail to the hem of your shirt tugging it on softly, "can i?"
acknowledging him, san gets to work as he gets rid of your shirt leaving you in your bra. flustered, your hands reach for san's shirt as you tug on it.
"to be even," you explain.
"of course." san smiles following your command and smoothly takes his tank top off throwing it to somewhere in the room.
it wasn't new seeing san shirtless but you swear he changed his workout routine or something because he looks (and feels) ten times more ripped than the last time you saw him shirtless.
a gasp leaves your mouth and your hands fly to his chest as they rake down to his stomach.
"what?" he asks as he leans closer into you, putting both of his hands beside your head, caging you in.
"did you get a new workout routine?" you attempt to ask calmly.
"yeah actually, yeosang and i started going to a trainer a couple months ago."
"i can tell," you compliment, hands once again running up and down his abs.
in one swift motion, san captures both of your arms and holds them in place with one hand above your head.
"hey-"
"enough talking." san cuts you off with a sudden kiss, his free hand trailing your curves. desperately, you tried to lift your arms so you could wrap them around san but his grip was too strong. your body fidgeted trying to get him to loosen the grip but with how close san knee was to your core, it began to rub deliciously against your sweats. soon, you fell into a somewhat steady rhythm trying to create some friction for yourself.
when san pulls away, your motions come to a halt like you were caught red-handed. "baby couldn't wait, huh?"
embarrassed, you turn your head with a blush evident on your cheeks.
"hey, i'm just teasing you." san comforts as he grabs your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look up at him. he felt his heart crumble (and his pants strain) when you looked up at him with a pout. "i'll make it up to you, yeah?"
"you better, you jackass." you joke as you slap his arm.
san gets back to work with your lips as his hands trail all over your body. his roamed every curve and dip of your body. the callouses on his hands left goosebumps everywhere. eventually, san stopped at the top of the waistband. "may i?"
pathetically, you whimper out a quick "yes" as san gets to work with getting rid of your sweats and panties. one of his fingers runs up and down your slit to collect your slick.
"gonna prep you first, okay?"
nodding in confirmation, san slips his finger in as you gasp. your walls clench around his finger as he pumps in and out. your breath quickens even more before san adds in another one drawing a moan from you.
once san deems you prepped enough for his dick, he pulls his fingers out causing you to whine. "i'll be back, just gotta find a condom baby." he soothes as he opens his bed stand drawer his clean fishing around for one.
finally, san finds that gold foil package, ripping it with his teeth and you swear you could've come at that sight alone. you help san get rid of his pants and boxers.
sitting up in anticipation, you watch as san pumps his cock in front of you. the realization of you getting dicked down finally settling causing nerves to bounce around in you again. his dick wasn't some scary monster cock that you've seen in porn videos but it was still fairly long and the more you thought about it the more you questioned how the fuck it was supposed to fit inside of you.
san pulls you out of your thoughts when he lets out a groan. your eyes snap back down to his dick as you watch his tip start to leak beads of precum from his angry, red tip. san slows down his hand as his other hand begins to reach for the condom.
"wait."
san snaps his head to you with the condom still dangling from his teeth, his eyes full of concern.
"can i do that?" you ask the sudden burst of confidence spurring your adrenaline.
immediately, san nods his head as he sticks out his chin for you to grab the condom from his mouth. you sucked in a breath as you slipped the condom onto san as he praised you for your job well done but you cut him as you give him an experimental pump of his cock.
"fuck." san says through gritted teeth.
with his reaction, you pump him a few more times watching as his face contorted in pleasure. you didn't want to be the only one being satisfied tonight.
"baby," san grunts as he grabs your wrist, scaring you slightly as you thought you did something wrong, "we don't want me cumming just yet."
"right..." you trail off awkwardly as you retract your hand away.
san lightly laughs at your awkwardness finding it adorable, "it's alright, just let me make you feel good now."
he plants a quick kiss on your lips as he softly presses you onto your back. "tell me if anything hurts alright love?"
you give him another quick nod as you watch san shift on his knees. with a hand, he rubs the head of his cock up and down your slit just to tease you earning him a moan from you.
once san lines up with your entrance, he slowly fills you up and before any pain or discomfort could even manifest in your mind, san smashes his lips into yours. with the way, san's tongue was dancing with yours the pain in your lower abdomen was almost nonexistent.
by the time he pulls away, san's cock was fully buried into your cunt. your walls rubbed deliciously against san, "fuckkk, you feel so fucking good." san groaned. "tell me when you're ready for me to move, love."
this new pet name combined with san going down to kiss your neck has your head spinning. "oh fuck, san."
the sensation of san's lips leaving wet kisses on your neck was incredible. to add even more to your pleasure, you felt him begin to nibble lightly on your neck causing you to moan even louder. you could even feel san's smirk of accomplishment on your neck before he continued his new pattern of nibbling on different spots on your neck and soothing the pain with a few swipes of his tongue.
it took you a moment to even tell san that you were ready for him to move since you were so overwhelmed with his little side quest that you couldn't even manage to get a word out.
with your confirmation, san pulls his mouth away from you to focus on your cunt. at first, he does a few experimental thrusts just to test the waters before settling into a comfortable rhythm.
"you're taking me so well, baby" san praises when he flashes his eyes up at you. the dazed look in your eyes caused a surge of confidence to course through his body.
san's ego grew when he realized that he was the first one to ever make you feel this fucked out. he showed his newfound confidence by fucking you even harder. the grip on your hips tightening as san tries to get the most leverage he can to chase his high.
"fuck, san." you cry out, the knot in your stomach growing. "m' so close baby."
san tensed at the nickname for a quick second. he had been calling you "baby" ever since he started helping you out but holy shit he did not expect you calling him that to have such an effect on him. "say it again." san demands his eyes flashing to yours.
"baby, fuck." you groan as san's pace increases even more sending you to close the edge. "shit, i'm so close"
his thrusts got sloppier as your moans became louder. the knot in your stomach began to unravel with each push. san swallowed your moans as he leaned down to kiss you. it was a messy kiss but yet it oddly felt intimate. there was just something in his urgency to kiss you that felt so comforting.
the mix of his lips combined with the last few thrusts of hips, the both of you finally came. pulling away from your lips, san presses his forehead to yours to catch his breath with his cock still buried deep inside you.
for a moment, you guys stay like that. in such an intimate position, you closed your eyes and believed that he was yours and not just your best friend. you wished you could stay in this moment forever and keep believing this isn't a one-time thing.
you were pulled out of your daydreaming as san finally pulled out causing you to whine, already missing the feeling of him. through tired eyes, you watch san tie up the condom to discard after he throws on a pair of boxers.
"where are you going?" you ask still out of breath. apart of you worried that he was going to get up and leave already. you didn't want your little daydream to end just yet.
"i'll be right back." san answers slipping out of the door and disappearing somewhere into your house.
soon, san returned with a glass of water and a wet rag. carefully, san gets to work as he cleans you up after handing you the glass to drink. when he's done, you give the half-empty glass back to him and encourage him to drink it. he gladly does before getting up once more to put away the cup.
immediately, you tug at his arm and pull him down into bed with you. "don't go."
san smiles at you softly before returning back into the covers. your arms link around his torso in an instant bringing him closer to you. "don't ever leave me."
"i won't, i promise. you mean too much to me"
"i do?" you mumble, fatigue finally catching up to you as your eyelids began to droop.
"mmh." san mumbles as he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead. "go to bed, we can talk tomorrow."
too tired to even respond, you close your eyes and wrap your arms tighter around him.
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the sun peeked through the blinds promptly disrupting your sleep along with the noises on the street. when you opened your eyes to an empty bed your heart sank. you knew san didn't owe you anything after last night but still you wished you woke up in his arms and not alone.
with a heavy heart, you got up from his bed and got dressed again, picking up the scattered clothes from the floor. memories from the night before flooded your mind and it hurt remembering that it was only temporary.
when you left the room, you didn't expect to see san cooking breakfast.
"you're awake already?" san asks as he looks over his shoulder.
you nod your head, "your blinds don't do shit."
"my apologies sleeping beauty." san jokes back turning his attention back to the stove. "breakfast will be ready in ten."
by the looks of it, san appeared normal like last night's events had no effect on him whatsoever. truthfully, they were the opposite. san was internally freaking out. from the many hook up and one night stands san has been on, not one of them has he longed for the girl afterward. he didn't know how to react to his feelings but the one thing he did know was that he wanted you.
san was just scared to ask you to be his. there was a multitude of reasons of why but one of them was that he was scared of the commitment. in general, he just couldn't get himself to open up to just one person and be vulnerable but with you, he wanted to try.
he felt safe in your presence and although it took him so long to realize it, he's always felt comfortable around you. "breakfast's ready!" sans call out to you.
the two of you eat in awkward silence. part of you was convinced that you were making it awkward because someone couldn't keep their feelings out of it and san thought he was making things weird because he had no clue how to handle his emotions.
eventually, you couldn't stand the sound of the utensils clanking on the plates and bowls, and either could san. "san,"
"yes?" he looks up at you, thankful for breaking the tension.
this is the moment. just do it. "i don't think we can be friends anymore."
"wait what?"
"i know, i made you promise that whatever we did wouldn't affect our friendship but i-i love you."
san stares at you in confusion, "i love you, too but i don't see why we can't be friends anymore? was the sex that bad? you can be honest."
"god no, it was great. but the issue is that you don't love me the way i love you." you confess daring to look san in the eyes. "i knew this was terrible idea from the start but i just- i wanted to have you for one night even if it was temporary."
san soaks in your words, not saying anything for a moment which leads to worry even more.
"i'm sorry," you start, looking down at your hands as you try to contain yourself.
"you don't need to apologize." san says grabbing your hand from across the table. "i wanna be yours too."
"wait, what? i thought you didn't like relationships though?"
"i don't but recently i've realized i wanna be more than friends. don't think it's because of the sex, if anything that just gave me another reason to love you." san jokes, easing the tension in the room.
"san, be serious." you scold at him while a smile slips through your facade.
"no seriously though, i mean it when i say i wanna be yours."
"you wanna be mine?"
"yes i do. i know i'm not good at communicating feelings and stuff like that but i'm willing to try with you."
the biggest smile graces your face as look down at the table while san comes over to your side. maybe you didn't have to worry at all about this because in the end he wanted you all along.
"we can take it slow, as long you're mine." you look lovingly into his eyes and you felt your heart beat out of your chest. for good reason, this time though.
"sounds great to me."
a laugh escapes as you lean your head onto's san shoulder. his arm immediately wraps around you bringing you in as san places a quick kiss on your head. "so what did you think about breakfast?"
"being honest," you look up at san with a playful smile on your face, "they were kinda runny."
"that's it, we're done." san jokes, throwing his arms into the air for dramatic effect.
laughing at his antics, you just realize how much you love san and although it may be too early to say it yet, let's just say you're grateful you had a choi san in your life.
he finally was yours.
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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ellie williams x male reader (platonic) jesse x male reader
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ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ellie comes back to town for resupply and catches up with an old friend
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 781
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: swearing, angst, post character death, post Seattle, awkward, very awkward, angst with a hopeful ending, ellie's pov, somewhat vague as to whether it's post santa barbara
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ᴍᴀʏʙ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: inspo. don't ask me why both tlou fics have ellie pov
☾⋆☆⋆☽
There he is. Jesse's boyfriend.
It's rude to think of him as just Jesse's boyfriend. He was his own person, after all; but Ellie has reason. She knew Jesse better than him, after all. Jesse was one of her best friends, despite being the main reason she couldn't act on her long-time crush for a good while.
He was admirable, a young patrol-leader, courageous and smart. Most of all, he was loyal. He even followed her to Seattle.
Oh, fucking Seattle.
He looks like him, in a way. Ellie doesn't want to be rude, but their hair...it's the same. It's coarse and greasy, but so is everyone else's. Commercial shampoo isn't a thing twenty years after the collapse of the world and "major capitalism" anyway, but that's not the point.
He does look different. His eyes, his nose, his face is different, his own. But his hair.
It's shorter down the sides, obviously to keep it out of the way, and yet pieces still remain in front, perhaps a fashion statement, a rare sight when survival calls for practicality; perhaps, instead, a simple inevitability. The back remains long, down, unlike Jesse's, past his shoulders, Ellie recalls he used to wear it up more often than down. Before he and Jesse got together, he wore it in neat braids. Afterward, they got messy—maybe tugging from heated sessions, maybe, more probably, Jesse tried braiding it for him.
"Your hair." Ellie finds herself saying, interrupting your words. She wasn't paying attention, it was rude of her, but she can't see anything else.
"My hair?" You look confused, taking a piece in your hand, but then, oh, your hair. "I haven't had time, since..."
Since Seattle, Ellie thinks, but Seattle isn't Seattle to you, it's Jesse's death.
"Right." Ellie leans back, to stand on her heels. Right.
"I've had to, you know, take over patrol organization a bit, plus, um, new duties, yeah?"
"Yeah." She says, again another short response.
Yeah. Jesse handled a lot of patrol organization, alongside Mary, who now has to help Tommy around because of his knee and all, meaning she needs more people to help her; and also Tommy's knee means he can't go on patrol anymore and...it's just such a mess. And since Ellie left too? And Dina's busy with JJ? Three—four people that can't patrol anymore.
I'm sorry, she thinks to say, but she can't.
"You put it up for patrols?" She asks. It's a stupid question, the answer is an obvious yes.
"Yea–" It's a short response, too, awkward. "I meant, I, uh, don't have the time to braid."
She knows it's not true. She knows you at least have time in the mornings, but then maybe you just don't because it reminds you of him. The way his hands felt in your hair, clumsy, sometimes the braids are too tight and awfully angled, or sometimes they're too loose, but it's Jesse, so who cares?
I'm sorry, is yet again on her tongue, but she can't.
"How's–" What was she going to say? What were you saying, before she'd mentioned your hair? Fuck, she doesn't know.
You speak up abruptly, eyes flitting down, then up, "It looks like his, doesn't it?"
"Yeah." She agrees. Just that. What else is there to say? Well, there is... "I'm sorry."
"I know, Ellie." You say. It's simple.
She said it to you once, at the funeral; again, at the wake. A third time last time she came by, a fourth the time after. This might be the fifth, but she can't account for times she's been drunk, or whatever the fuck she was dealing with fresh off the horse from Seattle.
"I–" She wishes to say it again, anyway. She wishes to say more. Jesse loved you. Jesse wouldn't want you to be sad. Jesse...
"I know." You know, of course, she's already told you all of that, you don't even need her to speak her mind to know it. "Listen, I have to..." You gesture vaguely that-a-way.
"Right. Yeah." Ellie nods her head, bounces back on the balls of her feet and backs off.
"I'll see you next time?" You offer, your hands meeting together, intertwining, fingers breaking then holding again; a teeter, a restless thing. Nervous, no, awkward.
"Yeah." Ellie nods her head.
You're off.
But she speaks again, stopping you. "Hey, um!" She clears her throat, her sudden impulsive thought catching up to her, but you've already turned around, and she must finish. "I'll braid your hair? Next time?"
You smile, huff out a breath through your nose, maybe it's amusement, pity towards Ellie's attempt at what, making up? Or maybe it's appreciation. "Yeah. Yeah, sure."
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halaboyz · 8 months
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to each's, csb
pairing: non-idol! choi soobin x gn! reader genre: angst wc: 614 warnings: pool notes: inspired by a scene in crazy little thing called love (iykyk)
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"Oh hey, y/n... You asked for me?" Of course he'd be confused. You just had 3 full conversations with him, all academic-related this whole school year.
You smile, turning to hide the flower you've been hiding. "It's graduation day! I want to congratulate you for surviving high school." You giggle, and Soobin does the same, congratulating you back. "I called you here alone because I needed to tell you something."
"That is?" Soobin cranes his neck, cheeks turning red at the sudden seriousness of your voice.
"From elementary, silly puppy crushes- to puberty, wanting to be prettier, more elegant, and more presentable in front of... you." You meet his eyes, shy as you try to make your smile smaller. "I've done this and that just for you to notice me, Soobin. Maybe it wasn't really enough, but it was okay." Soobin doesn't reply, even make a noise, which prompts you to chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is, Choi Soobin... I like you. Ever since we were first graders, to high school, to now." You finally hand him the flower you've been tightly holding on to, smiling.
Soobin was dumbfounded and red. He doesn't know how to react, nor what to say. He's been fiddling with his fingers, heaving a sigh of relief. Just as he was about to take the flower from your hands, your classmate, Beomgyu, barges inside the gates to the pool area. "Hey Soobin! Your girlfriend's been finding you every... where... Oops..." His voice trailed off when he saw the scene, and you're the one who's speechless now. Beomgyu quietly leaves with a guilty mouth, smacking his head in the process.
"You... had a girlfriend?" You're the one who's speechless now.
"Look, y/n..." Soobin has no idea what to say. His shyness was taking over him at the wrong time, seeing your eyes get watery. He has a lot to say, and a whole damn lot of smacks reserved just for Beomgyu, but nothing escapes out of his lips.
"Oh, no! It's okay, Soobin!" You sniff, plastering a wide smile on your face. "It's fine, oh my god, I'm so sorry." You quickly wipe your tears away and retract your arm, messily throwing the flower with no care inside your bag as you got your things.
"Y/n, no..." He tries to reach for your arm but you softly decline, turning to see him.
"It's fine, Soobin. Just a stupid crush anyway," You start walking backwards, smile not fading one second and tears continuously flowing anyway.
Just another fucking step and you step into liquid, feeling yourself drown for a second before straightening your knees and regathering your senses.
What a fucking embarrassment.
"Y/n, oh my god, are you okay?" While you were wiping your face along with your tears, you see a glance of Soobin attempting to jump into the pool to check on you. You extend your arm to stop him, waving your hands in front of your face to hide from him.
All those pampering throughout the years for this?
"I'm okay, Soobin." You give him a chuckle, to convince him and probably yourself too, that you were fine. You are going to be. You will be, right?
As you made your way out of the area, Soobin stops himself from going after you even though he was very worried about you. He figures how you must've felt, not getting a single word from him and getting in that situation.
He was fuming towards his friend. But more importantly, he regrets.
He regrets not saying a thing despite feeling the same way towards you. Now, he might have just lost his last chance.
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nex-ture · 1 year
Note
Kisaki Tetta x male reader
Where they are childhood friends and Kisaki always had a crush on him but thought the reader would be disgusted so he never confessed
Until kisaki is in the hospital after Tenjiku (let's pretend he survived) and the reader storms into the room full on crying
Kisaki x Male Reader
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Sometimes I forget I have a blog..this request is over a year old. When I got this request, I was an anime only, and now I've read the whole manga. I do love Kisaki, though, so I'm excited to write this!
This is my first actual fic in like..a year so, I'm sorry this is shitty. I also might have accidentally switched from 2nd person to 3rd..I did that a lot and had to fix it, though might have missed some.
MAJOR SPOILER WARNING: Tenjiku Arc
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Y/n wasn't someone who really stuck out within a crowd of people. His grades were average, and nothing was really exciting about his homelife. Yet he was somehow friends with the overachiever of his class, Kisaki Tetta. Everyone knew who Kisaki was. They just didn't care. He was the nerdy little kid who's only personality trait seemed to be cowering away from any and all problems.
Kisaki and y/n were very close, and it wasn't rare for Kisaki to invite y/n over to his house for playdates or to help y/n study for the upcoming quiz. Kisaki yearned for the awaiting "Yes" every time he asked his friend. He loved hanging out with y/n more than he loved hanging out with Hinata. It was a strange feeling for him. He knew he "loved" Hinata, but, y/n?
It took a long time for Kisaki to finally come to terms with the fact that he truly did like y/n as more than a friend. He'd never really had a crush on a guy before. He never even considered two guys dating.
Even though he'd figured out his feelings, there was no way in hell he'd tell y/n how he felt. Y/n has been with him through everything. He didn't want this stupid crush to be the reason he lost his best friend.
Y/n was there for him when he was banned from Toman. He listened as Kisaki ranted about how this ruined his plans. His plans of getting Hinata and ruining Takemichis life. It saddened to y/n hear him gush about all the work he was putting towards some girl he barely even knew, but y/n would always listen.
Kisaki loved the way y/n would always listen. It seemed like y/n would follow him to the end of the world, and all he had to do was ask and ask he did. Kisaki asked y/n to join Tenjiku with him and take down Mikey. Of course, y/n didn't even give it a second thought. He immediately followed behind Kisaki.
Though the events of Tenjiku vs. Toman were not in Tenjikus favor. The death of Izana came, and to the blame of none other than Kisaki. He didn't mean to shoot Izana. He swears on it. Kisaki stayed down on the floor as Hanma came around with his bike. Y/n watched as they road off, Takemichi in tow.
Y/n quickly ran off, knowing an ambulance, and the police would be there soon. There was no point in sticking around. He had to wait patiently to hear what happened with Kisaki, after getting back home he had texted the blonde but got no response.
He knew Kisaki had the gun with him. There was no way he was in any danger. He was also with Hanma, who was well known for fighting others with no good reason.
Yet the same week, he got a dreadful call from Hanma. He could've sworn he stopped breathing when he heard Kisaki was in the hospital. He was hit by some distracted driver. If Takemichi hadn't called an ambulance, the doctors were sure it would have been fatal.
As soon as the call ended, y/n hopped off his bike and headed over to the address Hanma had sent him. Making his way through the hospital and check-ins was stressing him more out by the minute. The only thought in his head was, "Is Tetta okay?".
Finally, he could go in to visit his friend after what felt like a year. Kisaki laid staring up at the ceiling, and now the door as y/n walked in. He couldn't describe in words how happy he was to see the boy. He was fighting back tears as he tried to read what the other was thinking, how pitiful he probably looked.
Broken bones, he was broken, in body and in spirit. Y/n didn't even notice he was crying until the tears fell. He quickly went over to Kisaki, closing the door behind him. He placed his hand on Kisaki's shoulder as he saw the condition the other was in. It was hell for him. "I'm so sorry.. I wasn't there for you."
The only words he could muster out came in a low whisper as he laid his head in the crook of Kisaki's neck. Tears filling up his own eyes at the sight of y/n crying...over him? They'd been together so long that he didn't realize how much y/n actually cared about him.
His breath grew heavier as he cried loudly. He was never one to be quiet when crying. It was like he was 8 again, crying over some half asses delinquents who came to beat y/n and him up. They never even got to lay a finger on him. Yet he cried every time because they were hurting...y/n.
Y/n had always been there to protect him. He wanted to protect his friend, but the only thing he seemed to have focused on was Hinata Tachibana. When y/n was there for him the whole time. She was the only woman who spoke to him, but y/n was the only guy who cared about him.
"I.. I'm sorry.." he spoke slowly, the accident didn't come without its permanent damages. His crying slowed as y/n lifted his head to look at his. "I..I love.. you, " Tetta muttered out the phrase as the tears started up again.
His mind started racing. Why did he say that? He was going to lose his friend. He was a freak, yet why was y/n smiling...why was y/n laughing...why was y/n still touching him? "I love you so much, Tetta." Y/n always knew exactly what to tell him. He needed y/n in his life to be happy.
He turned his head slowly in y/ns direction as they stood up from his hospital bed. "R... really? This..whole time I...I thought you would leave m...me for saying that.." his words slurred as his stutter, he couldn't tell if it was from the accident or the fact his heart was beating out of his ass.
"I wanted to confess for so long -" Y/ns laughter died down as they spoke. "-but you were always talking about Hinata, so I never knew how." Y/n looked down at Kisaki with a soft smile. Tettas tears slowed as he grabbed onto y/ns hand. "I'm so h...happy." Tettas' smile was faint, but it was there. Maybe something good did come out of this terrible situation..
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valeffelees · 6 months
Note
Oh do tell about that snowbaz au of yours 👀
I WOULD FUCKING LOVE TO, thank you so much tumblr user pidgelikethebird (and also my most beloved and loyal companion @drowninginships) for providing me the enrichment i need to survive the winter.
ok gimme a min here to turn my thoughts into comprehensible words. i'm gonna say right now: this post is gonna be a LONG one, but 10 out of 10 scientists agree you should read to the end.
so, if you didn't know, The Beauty Inside is a Korean romcom from 2015, based off an American short film of the same name; the orig short film i linked is an extremely quick watch (only 6 episodes, each one 4-10 minutes long) and i would absolutely recommend it, but the very basics of the premise is that: a man wakes up in his bed on his 18th birthday to find he's in a completely different body than his own, and every day since then, he wakes up as somebody new.
AND OBVS I JUST HAD TO FUCKING SNOWBAZ THAT, which is how my AU, titled In the Many Ways of Loving You, was born:
Simon Snow wakes up every day as somebody new; the only person who knows the truth is Penny, his best friend and roommate, since she's been by his side since it all began ten years ago.
he works on commission as a custom bookbinder—like, he has an Etsy or some shit, i dunno, some kinda online shop where people can commission him in a variety of ways to rebind their favourite books, either by paying extra for Simon to buy the book himself and rebind it from new and send it to them, or sometimes collectors will send their personal copies to him to have him rebind them, and he's very good at it, and N E WAY the point of this is that he has a small bookshop he's been going to regularly for the last eight or so years, because it's close to his and Penny's flat, and where the story begins: Baz is a new employee that just started working there about two weeks ago and Simon has a massive crush on him.
ok, now. day one: when we meet Simon for the first time, he wakes up and he's lovely and blonde and brown-eyed and ok, yeah, i've just made him look like Agatha bc i thought it'd be kinda funny, esp since Agatha's not actually in the fic otherwise.
and Simon has to pick up a copy of some random book from the bookshop today bc someone bought a custom binding of it, so he goes down and, as usual, since it's his job, Baz has to come over to talk to him and is like, "hey, can I help you with anything?" and Simon doesn't need any help bc he's been coming to this shop for years, but every time Baz asks he says yes bc he wants the excuse to talk to him, and on this day Simon is like, wait. i'm so hot rn. so he asks Baz out—
and Baz is like [finger guns] absolutely not.
and Simon is like 👁️👄👁️ welp i'm in fucking agony.
but whatever, fine. a guy like Baz is prolly already in a proper relationship, and it's always a bad idea for Simon to get involved with someone he has to see on the reg. he had to start going to a different coffee shop that's twenty minutes out of his way bc he went out on a great date with one of the baristas at his old spot and then obvs couldn't go out again after just that one time, and it made him super emo, so really, Baz saying no was prolly for the best.
TIMESKIP, it's been a few days and Simon has to go down to the bookshop again. but this time he's a bloke. and so Baz comes up to ask if Simon needs help and he says yeah, as usual, and the two of them end up having a bantery convo about the book Simon's looking for bc they've both read it and Baz hated it, but Simon loved it, and it's just very cute and casual, and then Baz is like. so, my shift ends in liiike... four hours. are you doing anything?
and Simon is like. OH. OH!!!
that whole "it's prolly for the best" thing? yeah, fuck that, that was Simon of the past, he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about bc cute bookshop guy wants to hang out and so they go out and have the most fucking insane romcom date ever.
'cause you gotta remember, Simon only gets one real day with people, so he doesn't do like casual coffee dates or movies or whatever. they go out and like fucking B&E a museum after hours bc Simon knows someone like the janitor or something (i dunno) leaves one of the back doors unlocked so he can step out for a cig every few hours, so they sneak in and have the time of their life running around looking at art while trying not to get caught, and we're going to use the suspended disbelief bestowed upon us by the power of romcoms to pretend security cameras aren't a thing, and it is BRILLIANT. like, Simon and Baz have so much chemistry, and when the night ends Baz is just like all smiles and creased eyes and messy black hair and, breathlessly: "I want to see you again."
and Simon's heart drops. because he wants to see Baz again, too, but he can't. no matter how much he wants to, he can't. when he wakes up tomorrow he's going to be someone new, so he can't, he can't, he can't, he—
"Yeah," he says. "Tomorrow?"
SIMON NO!!!
"It's a date."
FUCK!!!
ok, so now we have a problem. Simon can't just stand him up, i mean he could but he doesn't want to, and he really does want to see him again, so he does the only thing he can think of: he stays awake. all fucking night.
Baz, the next day: "You look exhausted."
Simon, wired asf on caffeine and trying to be smooth: "Had someone on my mind all night."
and then they go have another wicked date, but i have nothing in my notes about what it is. oh, i have them living in Canada in this fic btw bc as a rule, if a fic doesn't have to be set in England, i move them to Canada for comfort. so i might have them go cliff jumping or something? who knows. we'll go with that for now.
cue the romcom montage.
[mother tongue starts playing SO DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME FALA AMO, JUST LET YOUR HEART SPEAK UP AND I'LL KNOW]
ok. post-date. Simon is so dumb and infatuated with Baz and does something only a boy who is dumb and infatuated and sleep-deprived would do in his situation, and he goes back to Baz's flat with him to "watch a movie", or in other words: the movie starts and then they prolly have sex, but in my notes this is written as "??? smash ???" so i guess it's kinda up in the air.
either way, Simon passes the fuck out at Baz's place bc he was properly exhausted by that point, and he wakes up to Baz screaming at him bc obvs he looks like a different person now.
Simon, half-asleep: [PANICKED FLAILING] BAZ IT'S ME!!! STOP THROWING THINGS!!! BAZ!!! IT'S ME, IT'S SIMON!!!
and Baz is like: WHAT THE FUCK
and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN
and Baz is like: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE
and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN!!!
so, here's a detail from the orig film that comes into play here: in the orig movie, the MC keeps a video diary, logging every day what his face looks like, and in this, Simon does this on his phone and backs them up to his computer every hundred days, so he gives Baz his phone and tells him the whole story while Baz scrolls through these short like minute long videos of Simon on various days going, "Hey, this is me today. I have [this and such] thing to do, blah blah blah."
and the thing is, Baz recognises him in some of them. bc Simon is always coming into the bookshop. he stops watching when he gets to the day Simon looked like Agatha, and Simon has been quiet for a while at this point, just letting Baz process.
Baz: "I want you to leave."
Simon takes his phone without a word and goes. Penny picks him up on the corner a block over and drives him back to their flat. she doesn't ask what happened. she already has a pretty good idea.
when Simon's next commission comes in, he thinks about going to another bookshop, he really does. but this one is so convenient, esp since Simon can't drive bc he can't risk getting pulled over carrying a licence that doesn't have his face on it, and he's been going there for eight years and it's not like Baz will recognise him anyway.
so, to the bookshop he goes, but this time when Baz comes up to ask if he needs help, Simon is like, "haha, no that's okay," and goes back to looking for things on his own, and Baz kinda lingers awkwardly for a moment before going on his way, but then when Simon comes up to the till to pay for the book, Baz just stands there staring at him. and Simon is so uncomfortable, like, he just wants to leave—
"Simon?"
SORRY, YOU WHAT?
"What?" Simon gapes at him. "How did— how did you? But I'm—"
"Can we talk?" Baz asks.
"How did you know it was—"
Baz shouts over to the other employee on the floor that he's taking his lunch break, and Simon just slowly follows him out of the shop with the book forgotten, unpaid for, at the check-out.
and here's the deal, Baz liked Simon a stupid amount considering they'd only gone on two dates, but they were good dates, and Baz doesn't date much, so he's a bit hung up on just how much he liked Simon and the weird way shit ended, so he's basically like. i want to see it again. and Simon is like, see what? and Baz is like, you. the... whatever that you do, i want to see you change.
and that's how Simon ends up bringing Baz back to his flat, and btw: Simon has a rule about never bringing people back to his flat bc it's weird as fuck. his room is really tiny, and it's cluttered as fuck in a Howl's bedroom type way. he keeps to the same cheap, casual style for all his clothes, but he needs things in a bunch of sizes. shoes are a nightmare. he has to take care of his hair in a million different fucking ways. so he has the lives of a dozen people shoved into a room the size of a shoebox, and his mattress has no frame. that shit is just on the floor, so it takes up less space. and there's this mirror, a wide full bodied mirror, propped up against the wall facing the bed, so that the first thing Simon can do each day is roll over and look at himself.
Simon and Baz have supper together, they talk, they pretend this isn't weird as fuck and, even though it is weird as fuck, they still have so much chemistry, and this is a fanfic, so they just end up having sex again but it's supposed to be kinda emo and tender and look, it's what my heart wants, ok?
morning comes. Simon wakes to Baz's hands on his face. which is already and improvement compared to last time. Baz is looking at him very seriously, but also very like. softly. he's touching Simon's features, tracing them, and Simon is quiet for a very long time, watching him do this, until he's just like. what are you doing.
Baz: "Getting to know you." A pause. "Why does it happen?"
Simon: "I don't know."
Baz: "Are there other people like you?"
Simon: "I don't know."
Baz, sighing: "Well, what do you know?"
Simon: "That I'm still me. Inside, I mean. Like... if you had a book, and every day you gave it a new cover, the story wouldn't change."
Baz: "You must get lost on a lot of shelves."
Simon: "Yeah."
and from there, Baz is just a part of Simon's life the same way Penny is, he knows the truth, and he deals with it. for the first time in Simon's adult life, he gets to really date. he and Baz do a bunch of domestic shit together, for months, and it's so good. all of it is so good, all the time, and they fall so fucked up deep in love with each other.
(detail from this point that is relevant later: Baz and Simon make a game out of Baz recognising Simon at work on days when he hasn't seen yet what he looks like. Simon will come in and try to act like a stranger, but Baz can Where's Waldo him every time.)
but then Christmas comes. and Baz has to go home to see his family. and i don't have an exact idea of how this convo goes, only that it is not a fight of any kind, like, it is a normal convo about the holidays but Baz apologises to Simon during it for not telling his family about him, he says they'd want Baz to bring Simon home if he did (bc i just don't wanna fuck with homophobia in this so we've shot Malcolm with the ally beam) and he wouldn't know how to explain Simon's whole... thing to them, and Simon kinda realises that like. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz can bring home to his family. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz gets to have a normal life with.
SO SIMON GHOSTS HIM.
like, Baz comes back from his family's place, annoyed that Simon hasn't returned any of his texts or calls, only to find that Simon and Penny have literally fucking moved flats in the two weeks he's been gone. and obvs he's fucking devastated and confused by this and desperately trying to get Simon to respond to him, but he won't.
Simon goes out of his way to find a new bookshop to go to, and that's the end of things for about a week or so, and i haven't actually decided what happens here exactly, but the general idea i wanna go with is that Simon goes to the bookshop Baz works at just for the sake of seeing him, checking up on him, bc he misses him.
but remember that game they played? so yeah, Baz walks up to say his usual like, "hey, can I help you find anything?" but he fucking clocks Simon after like ten seconds.
scene change: they're in Simon's new flat, like maybe Baz demanded that if Simon is going to break up with him he owes it to him to do it goddamn properly, but i dunno. details, details. but they end up getting in a huge fucking fight and Simon reveals the reason he ghosted Baz was bc he realised Baz can't have a real life with him and Baz is like:
"You don't get to decide that for me! You're still you, you're still lovely—"
"You don't even know what I look like!"
"I don't care what you look like, you fucking moron, I care that you're Simon Snow! There's a person inside you that exists every day, even when everything else changes, and he's lovely. I love him. The rest doesn't matter, how can you not see that? Stop telling me I'm not allowed to love you however you are, I'll love you a hundred different ways, Simon. Any size, any shape. I'll love you over, and over, and over. That's a life for me. A real life for me. You!"
and then Simon throws his arms around Baz's neck and hugs him like he needs him to breathe and Baz clings to his shirt and they're both prolly crying all loud and gross, but it's fine. they're gonna be fine.
the next day: Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck. "Like this one, then?" he says.
"Loveliest yet." Baz brushes his knuckles over the slope of Simon's shoulder. "Freckles, curls, broad shoulders... Mmm, maybe we should stay in bed today."
Simon laughs and rolls over to pin Baz to the mattress, grinning at him. he goes to say something, prolly rib at him the way they do, but as he does he catches his reflection in that mirror he keeps by his bed and he freezes.
"Holy shit!" he shouts, and shoves himself up onto his knees. "That's me!"
Baz rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, I told you—"
Simon shakes his head furiously. "No, it's. Baz. I'm. Jesus fucking Christ, that's me. Baz, that's me."
Baz sits up slowly. "Do you mean—"
"Fuck, holy shit!" Simon grabs his curls with both hands. he hasn't touched these curls in ten fucking years. he looks older than he remembers himself, which is a given, but it's definitely him. his father's eyes, his mother's chin. the moles on his cheek, above his eyebrow, below his ear.
Simon freaks out in a way that kinda toes the line between being happy and being a breakdown, he throws himself at Baz, and they both fall back onto the bed and Simon is laughing and he's shaking and he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it, but holy fuck, he has his own face, he has his own body, he has his own hands. Baz pushes them apart so he can get a look at him, and Simon is actually kinda self-conscious when he does, which is a new feeling. he never has to feel self-conscious about anything, usually, since he knows every flaw or insecurity isn't really his, and will be gone the next day, but this is just... him.
Baz takes Simon's face in his hands and then, breathlessly, "Hello, Simon Snow."
AND THEN THEY KISS bc what else would they do here.
and uhh, yeah. so. Simon goes out to the kitchen where Penny is making breakfast and she loses her shit when she sees him. big hugs all around. Baz really does take the day off work to spend it with Simon, even though that just means lying around on the sofa watching movies while Simon works on his current rebinding commission. when Penny gets home that evening, they order takeaway and sit around the lounge room playing boardgames together until late, late, late into the night. Penny falls asleep in the armchair, and now it's 3-am.
Simon is tired. he's looking at the clock, sitting with his knees up and his arms around them, with Baz beside him. Baz has his forehead on his shoulder, an arm around his waist. he doesn't want to go to bed, because what if... what if it was only for today. how long will it be until the next time? what if there is no next time, what if, what if—
"We'll still be here," Baz whispers, exhausted. "And you'll still be you. No matter what, Simon."
and so they go to bed.
Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck.
"Good morning, Simon Snow."
AND YEAH, that is the entire plot of my The Beauty Inside AU.
i told you this was gonna be a long one, but if you've made it all the way to the end of this mess, thank you kindly again for indulging me!
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So Called Revenge (Hiccup x Reader) (Angst)
Author's Note: I felt like doing a one-shot where the reader gets treated shitty, but then gets revenge. I've read stories where the gang (minus Hiccup) treats the reader bad, and I've always thought "but where's the revenge?". So, now I've taken matters in my own hands and wrote the ultimate badass respond. I'm clearly going through something, haha. I'm sorry Astrid for taking it out on you...
Short Summary: You’re getting abused by the dragon riders, both mentally and physically. Ever since you were a kid they seem to have something against you. Though there’s one person who’s not mean to you. Hiccup. You’ve been friends with him for a while now and your getting along very well. Matter of fact, you have a crush on him.
⚠️Warning!⚠️: This story includes swearing and gore and a brief suicide scene.
And if you're very prude, you might consider that this story including smut. There's no sexual acts, just some light "describing".
(y/n/n) = your nickname
Words: 4489
(I don't own any of the GIFs)
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Your pov:
Another day in the beloved village called Berk. Notice my sarcasm. Well let's be clear, it's not necessarily the village that's the problem. Rather the people living in it. Even more specifically, a group of dragon riders. My life hasn't been the best, but it could be worse. That's until I hit my teenage years and the dragon riders decided to make my life a living hell. Don't get me wrong, they've had a thing against me all my life. But it's been more physical in the later years. Don't ask me why. Though there's one exception. Hiccup. He´s never said anything rude to me nor laid a hand on me. I think it's cause he feels pity for me. He knows how it feels to be nagged down. Also, the boy doesn't have a bad bone in his body, so he would never even consider doing such an act. And he'd definitely stop them if it wasn't for the fact they never do anything when he's around. They're smart. They know what consequences their actions could lead to if the Chief saw this type of behavior.
But Hiccup and I have more "history" then this. Well, history and history. He tried to interact with me back when we were 15, cause..... well, we were in the same boat. Though I would love to be friends with him, I couldn't even look at him for more then five seconds. Okay, I'll admit it, I have had a crush on Hiccup ever since we were 15. Why not confess your feelings for him? Hum? Well, he's already taken. And Astrid doesn't seem to like me that much to begin with, and I don´t think she would be more found of me if she finds out I've fallen for her boyfriend. Even though I regret not socializing with Hiccup straight from the beginning I've made up for it over the few years. We've grown pretty close, actually. We soon found out we shared an interest in sketching. He loved to watch as my talented hands worked their magic in my sketchbook. I still remember the day he asked me to make a portrait of him. Let me tell you, if I hadn't fallen in love with him already spending 1,5 hours, looking at his gorgeous, freckled face sure would. If you look past the sweating, butterflies in the stomach, and the shaking due to my nerves, I really like to spend time with Hiccup.
I dragged my limping body towards my dresser, changing into my regular outfit. I got down the stairs to make myself some breakfast. Me and my brother barely see each other throughout the day. Just a quick 'hello' or a simple wave whenever we saw each other around the village. It isn't until he comes home at the evening we could properly interact. But he's usually too exhausted by the day's hard work so we just eat dinner then he's off to bed. Due to our 'situation' he has to work harder in order to provide for the both of us. Both our parents has, unfortunately, passed away. Mother died from pestilence, three years ago. No chance of survival, just counting the days she had left. Our whole family got affected by our mother's death, though our father took it the worse. He fell into a deep depression which lead to him taking his life two years later. He hang himself from the wooden beam in their, well his, bedroom. Leaving me and Christopher to take care of our selfs. Remember the part where Hiccup felt bad for me? Yeah, I think this has some reasons for that too.
I did my part, but my payment wasn't in much help in the long run. So I'd stand for the cooking and taking care of the household to try to make it up for him. Especially the long nights. You see, the gang doesn't "just" call me name or tell me what a disappointment I am to my family. There's been a couple of times where they've hurt me physically, too. Punches against the face, kicks in the stomach, even cuts at various body parts. And who has to patch me up again? Christopher. I get mad at myself for not fitting in. Making my brother lack in sleep because I can't stop being seen as a burden. I see Hiccup as my best, well my only, friend and trust him with all of my problems. But how could I tell him his girlfriend and his friends mentally and physically abuse me? He wouldn't believe me. So I try ti stay away from them, but more importantly don´t be around them on my own.
Once the dry slice of bread was washed down by a glass of lukewarm water I was ready to start my day. I opened up the door to be met by grey clouds. This would actually be considered as nice weather for Berk, since we're used to pouring rain or hail. I walked down the village. Noticing my brother at his second shift at the blacksmith. I gave him a wave once we had eye contact. He gave me a warm smile, since his hands were too busy to answer me with a wave back. I chuckled for myself until my eyes fell onto another familiar face. Hiccup. I stopped in my tracks. He was chatting with the rest of the gang, just outside The Great Hall. I got a bellyache just looking at them. Of course Hiccup isn't the reason to my abrupt stop. If it would have been just him and Toothless I would have ran up and hugged him, chatting about something random like we always do. But his company prevent that from happening. Constant flashback of the last solo "meeting" with the rest of the gang went through my head.
I shield my face with my right hand as I quicken the pace, hoping to get away from them as fast as possible. Without getting noticed. "Hey (y/n/n)!" I cringed before looking up to see Hiccup waving me over. Damn it! He saw me. I walked over to the gang, trying not to look too suspicious where Hiccup would notice. It took every nerve in my body to walk over there, being terrified to find out what they'll do if Hiccup leaves. As I reached them Hiccup wrapped his arm around my shoulder while looking down at me, smiling warmly "How are you today, (y/n/n)?". I could tell Astrid's starting to get pissed by the way he approached me. I removed his arm while laughing nervously "I'm great, Hiccup. Thanks for asking". He nodded, giving me another smile. They went back to their own conversations, not really giving me the opportunity to flick in. I began feeling really awkward, just standing there. Seeing this as my opportunity to avoid getting beaten up, I tried to sneak away. As I turned my back to run off, thinking I successfully left without anyone noticing, I felt a pair of arms around my waist. Damn it!
I got dragged back to the group, my hopes of getting back to my house went further and further away. Getting back to the exact position I was in just a few seconds ago Hiccup held his arm around me to prevent me from leaving again. "Where were you going?" he asked as he tried to study my face. I sighed "Nowhere". He looked suspiciously at me, but didn't ask any further. "So (y/n), we were wondering if you wanted come fly with us?" Hiccup asked with his adorable smile. "Uhm, I don't have a dragon, so... very sorry Hiccup but unfortunat-" "You can fly with me and Toothless" he interrupted before I could finish my excuse as to why I 'unfortunately' couldn't join them. I glanced at Astrid before looking back at him "You don't have to. I'll be fine right here". Hiccup chuckled "Stop it, I know how much you like to fly when we're alone" Astrid's eyes widened. "You're coming. That's a Chief's order" he joked.
"I'm just going to do... some manly businesses, then we're ready to go!" Hiccup informed before starting to walked off. I looked at the group who already smirked at me, giving me an idea of what's to come. Answering with a worried look I quickly grabbed Hiccup's upper arm, making him stop. "I-I'll go with you" I said, trying to cover up how terrified I actually am. He looked at me for a while before saying "Uhm.... I'm going to pee, (y/n/n)". I began to panic even more "I know, but you know, it's always better to do things together" I laughed nervously again "I..... I c-can keep you company!". He looked at me confused "It's just around the corner, I'll be quick". "Oh, babe. Could you get me my spare sweatshirt? I seem to have forgotten it at home" Astrid asked, knowing all too well what she's doing. "Yeah, sure! (y/n) it'll take a bit longer including that, but I'll be back as soon as possible" I listen as my last bit of hope blew away. I'm screwed! I watched as Hiccup left.
"He's nice, isn't he?", I snapped my head towards a smirking Astrid. "Huh?" I asked rather confused. Was she genuinely asking or was this some sort of trick? My question was soon answered as Astrid punched me straight in the face, making me fall to the ground. As I dragged my hand under my nose I saw blood. I tried to swipe it up with the sleeve of my tunic. Hiccup can't see this! I looked up at Astrid as she continued "I've seen the way you look at him. But he's mine, and I don't like other girls looking at my boyfriend". "Why? You're afraid he'll leave you for me?" I snapped back, but immediately regret giving such a cocky comeback. Her eyes widened before she punched me again, this time focusing on my eye. My head fell back with the sudden dizziness.
Astrid grabbed me by the hair to keep my head up while she spoke to me "I don't need to worry about you. Sluts isn’t his favorite anyway". She lets go off my hair and instead grabbed my wrist, pressing it against the ground while she strangled me. I grabbed her face with my other hand, trying to make her get off me. "Hey, Snotlout! Grab her other wrist!" she ordered, and soon both my wrists were against the muddy ground. Astrid brought out her dagger. She motioned to Snotlout who lifted up my navy tunic to my neck, exposing my bare chest to the rest of the gang who were circling us. Both to get a better look at what was happening and to cover up the ongoing situation from the people walking by. They laugh at the sight, which made me fight even harder to get out of their grip. I need to get out of here. Come on (y/n)! Come on!
"Let's see what the guys think when your breasts are butchered" Astrid said when she slide the knife over my exposed chest. I bit my lip at first to prevent myself from screaming, knowing they'll punish me hard if I do. But as she continued to slice my flesh I screamed out in pain. Snotlout was quick to cover my mouth until the damage was done. Astrid smirked devilish at her work as I panted heavily. Snotlout let's go of my wrist, figuring I wouldn't have the energy to do anything anyway. "From what I've heard your bed's pretty busy. At least that's what Calvin said", my eyes widened at the mentioning of his name. Calvin were my ex boyfriend, who I've spent 2 years of my life with. Based on his personality, I wasn't surprised he talked to the gang behind my back. What I'm nervous about is what he told them. You'd think I'm over a relationship that ended 2 years ago, but how can I when it's constantly brought up?
"He would brag about taking your virginity before you were wed" Astrid continued. "No he didn't" I said unsurely, looking up at the rest of the gang that still surrounded me. "Yeah he did. What type of things you were willing to do. The slutty behavior you would take on. I still remember Hiccup's disgusted face when he told us" Astrid continued. He told Hiccup, too? "Stop it!" I screamed, tears steaming down my cheeks. "I know Hiccup well enough to know he doesn't like girls with slutty behaviors like yours. He like his girls virgin and pure. Not someone who's willing to spread her legs at any guy that gives her a little attention. Not that you had a chance with him to begin with" she laughed while looking down at me. My blood was pumping with anger as she continued to lie. Even though all I felt was anger, my words just came out as whispering "Please stop" why wouldn't she stop? "What? I'm just telling you the truth. You're sad now that your imaginary fairytale wouldn't come true, cause Hiccup wouldn't even touch you with a stick?" my blood was boiling more and more with every word Astrid feed me "Come on, (y/n)! Don't aim at guys that's out of your league. It's only pathetic. You know they only want you for what's in your pant-". Astrid was cut off as I pushed her off me and slammed her against a house. I wrapped my fingers around her neck and began to choke her.
"I said stop it!" I yelled straight in her face, not being able to handle the anger that was built up inside of me. "Why won't you listen for once and shut the fuck up?" I said through gritted teeth as I squeeze my hands harder around her neck. "(y/n) stop! She can't breathe!" Snotlout yelled as he approached us. "Don't you dare fucking touch me again!" I snapped back, not taking my eyes off Astrid. A satisfaction filled my body as I saw Astrid chip for air. All the anger I've kept inside from all the things she'd said and all the gestures was being thrown into this moment. I heard Snotlout's steps behind me again. Not wanting to risk this opportunity being disturb I pulled Astrid away from the house wall and put her in a chokehold instead. We turned around quickly to face the rest of the group "I said stay away!" I yelled. Thank gods Astrid wasn't able to fight back due to her unconsciousness, otherwise she'd easily take me down. Snotlout was still walking towards us, making me sigh.
I grabbed Astrid's dagger and threw it at Snotlout's thigh. He screamed out in pain before dropping to the ground. I grabbed my own dagger and pointed it towards the rest of the gang who slowly backed away. The pain of Astrid pressed against my opened wounds was nothing compared to the satisfaction. The satisfaction of finally getting my revenge. "(y/n)!", I snapped out off my focus at the yelling of my name by a familiar voice. Tuffnut took this opportunity to unwrap my arm around Astrid's neck while shoving me to the ground. As I looked up I saw Hiccup rubbing Astrid's back as she was coughing like crazy. He looked at Snotlout who's moaning in pain while laying on the ground, before he turned to me. "(y/n)! What did you do this for?" Hiccup asked with an angry tone. He was clearly pissed off, but why? If he had heard just one of the things she was saying we wouldn't have this discussion now.
"She started it!" I said while pointing to Astrid. Hiccup rolled his eyes, clearly not believing me, "Oh come on, (y/n)! Stop act so childish! You could have killed her!" he raised his voice again, especially at that last part. "Too bad you pushed me away, or I could have killed that bitch" I mumbled. Hiccup snapped his head, staring daggers into me "What did you just say?". I'm not back out of this. I stand for what I think, I'm not going lower myself to that pest's level. "I said, too bad you pushed me away, or I could have killed that bitch!" I repeated while standing up with grace, ignoring the pain. Hiccup couldn't believe what I had just said, even though he heard me the first time. He didn't know what to say. His eyes just looked at me with disgust. I brushed off my pants before making my way back to my hut. As I walked past Astrid I quickly went up to her and kicked her in the stomach. I smirked as I walked off, fulfilling my goal of making her feel at least a tenth of the pain she'd caused me. I ignore Hiccup's upset calls for me, and the rest of the gang's insults that was being thrown.
Hiccup's pov:
"You're so delusional, Hiccup" Christopher, (y/n)'s bother, said while I tried my best to comfort Astrid. She didn't coughing anymore, but she was still holding on tight to my shoulders. I sighed and turned to Christopher "What? Your sister were about kill my girlfriend. If there's one thing I'm not it's delusional". "You can't be this stupid, right?", I felt Astrid stiffing in my arms but played it off as fear. "If Tuffnut wouldn't have pushed (y/n) away she would have kept going until Astrid stopped breathing. Or did I get that part wrong?" I asked sarcastically. "Yeah, she probably would, but she had her reasons". I let go of Astrid to stand up and walk over to Christopher. "Oh, please tell me what reasons she had that would make it sain to kill someone!" I yelled. My gods, what's up with this family? "Because Astrid would do the same to her!" I got a bit taken away by the tone of his voice.
"You all would" Christopher gestured to the whole gang, who looked down in shame. What are they doing? Is this true? "They would never do such a thing" I defending the gang, praying to the gods this isn't true. Christopher huffed "You haven't seen what they've done to her, Hiccup. The deep wounds I've had to clean up. The painful screams and sleepless nights. The old wounds barely having a chance to heal until they're met by one ones. Words a 13 year old girl shouldn't even know exist, non the less being called. All the death threats and names being thrown at her. How would you like it to be called 'a useless whore who's the reason her father killed himself'?". I flinched at the harsh words. My eyes began to get glossy as the information gets feed into my head. What have I done?
"And for you to call yourself Chief and don't know anything about it" he said while poked his finger at my chest before walking away. I look around at the gang while asking "Is this true?". My expression showed the guilty I was feeling. "Is what true?" Snotlout asked, playing dumb. "Have you told (y/n) those awful things and abused her behind my back?" I spat, already knowing the answer based on Snotlout's unnecessary question. I cringed as the words came out of my mouth. I can't believe someone would say and do those things to (y/n). The sweet and beautiful girl I´m happy to even call my friend. For people to say that is fucked up, but these people also being the people I refer to as friends. And my fucking girlfriend being the worse? After some time they all nodded, making me feel like throwing up. Everyone expect Astrid. I walked up to her, not even bothering to hunch down to her level. I looked down at her and asked "Have you been apart of any of these actions, Astrid?" She looked at me nervously, not being able to have eye contact with me for more than a second. "No, I would never do such horrible things, Hic. Not to our beloved (y/n/n)". I knew she would lie. "Why are you lying to me?" I ask with a sturdy tone. Her face dropped "I'm not, Hi-". I cut her off by turning my back to her, walking away.
The information Christopher told me clouded my mind. He's right, I am a useless Chief, even more a friend. If I were a good friend I would have noticed this way before. This explains why she never wanted to come down to the lake to swim. Why she'd stay home for days at the time once she'd been felt with the gang by herself. Gods, I'm an idiot for not connecting the dots! I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. I can be the one crying when I'm the asshole. I walked up the porch till I was right in front of the familiar door. I knock. I heard Christopher's voice from inside "(y/n), I told you to sit down and rest! I can answer the door!". I heard uneven steps getting closer and closer.
As the door opened I could see (y/n) limping as she took another step towards the doorway. She supported herself against the handle which allowed me to see the bandage that covered most of her upper body though her opened shirt. What have they done to her? My poor (y/n). She widened her eyes when she saw me. I could tell she immediately tried to hide any signs of her injury, straighten her back. "Are you here to continue yelling at me?" she asked bluntly. I shook my head. "If you're here to receive an apology, you can fuck off! I'm not sorry for finally putting that pathetic bitch in her place" I tensed up a bit at her harsh words, but then remembered the things they've done to her. Now the guilt came back "Yeah, about that, I'm so sorry (y/n). I should have listened to yo-" "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Bye" she cut me off and slammed the door right in my face. Okay, I deserved that. I decided there's no need to knock again. She wouldn't answer it anyway.
I was actually quite surprised to see her at The Great Hall at lunch time. She had a plate of food in front of her, but by the looks of it she hadn't touched it. I grabbed my own plate and made my way over to her table. "Is this seat taken?" I asked, pointing at the spot in front of her. She look at me for a while before shaking her head. I sat down and she immediately turned her head, not wanting to look at me. "Chicken isn't your favorite?" I asked jokingly. "There's other things that makes me lose my apatite" she answered brutally, still looking at the floor beside her. I sighed "Look (y/n/n) I-" "Don't call me that!" she snapped. I jumped at her sudden outburst "Okay, sorry.... (y/n), I'm so sorry, I truly am. I should have trusted you. It's just- I never thought Astrid or any of the others would ever do anything like this to you. Not in my wildest, darkest imagination".
"Well they did" she bite back. "I know, and I don't know what to do to make it up to you. I truly care for you (y/n), and I can't forgive myself for letting you go through this for so long" I caressed her shoulder while pouring out my feelings. She look at me shocked "I-I love you, Hiccup". Now it's my turn to be shocked. S-she l-loves me? "I-I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked, wanting to make sure I heard her correct. "I love you, Hiccup. I have ever since we were 15. I wouldn't socialize with you because I got so nervous whenever you were around. I know we'll never be anything, so I've tried to hide my feelings for you. But I guess Astrid noticed it anyway. Half of the things she told me was surrounding that. Me having a crush on you". Okay, Christopher definitely didn't tell me that. She took a deep breath before she continued "I know you're with Astrid, and I don't mean to ruin anything. I just felt the need to confess and now seemed like a good time". She lowered her gaze in order to avoid eye contact.
I sat with my mouth wide open. I can't believe what she just confessed. She love me? She has loved me for six years and she hasn't told me? "Y-you love me?" I asked, still not sure if this was a dream or not. She nodded. "You can go back to your gang now. I won't bother you anymore, don't worry" she informed before standing up and leave. Due to my shock my reactions were a bit delayed. But as soon as my mind was coping the situation I raised up and ran towards her "(y/n) wait!". Once I caught up with her I noticed the tears running down her cheeks "Hiccup, please don't make this harder then it already is" she cried out "Try to forget about me and go to your girlfriend". As she finished her sentence I grabbed her cheeks and kissed her. I could tell she was shocked but soon gave in. As we pulled away she looked at me confused. "She's right here... in front of me" I said while smiling at her. She smiled back before pulling me into another kiss.
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Author's Note: Not how I planned to end this story, but it's cute. Though I would like to know your opinion on endings. Do you like having them being sad (if it's allowed), or do you like this cutesy 'live happily ever after'- type of endings?
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fall out boy lyrics that make me think of the places i grew up
this town is wasted and alone -- death valley -- when i visit, if I'm lucky i get to drive around, and the nothingness is crushing. You go to school, you graduate, if you're upper or middle class you go to college, probably the local one an hour away. You have to drive an hour to get to the good grocery store, twenty minutes to the shitty one. You marry your high school sweetheart, or someone you met in college, you settle down and have kids. You have at least one family member who works for a company you're pretty sure is still just a factory, even though they have fancier names for it now. I look out the window of my parents' house and i can barely see the neighbors' house.
you were the last good thing about this part of town -- grand theft autumn/where is your boy -- i left my best friend in the city i moved from and god i miss her so fucking much. Every time i visit it's like we were never apart. Every time i leave we both wonder if we'd have made it had i not moved away.
i can't remember the good old days -- 27 -- your parents' house is supposed to feel like being a kid, running around carefree. I have not lived with my parents for eight years but every time i visit i wake up with that same chest crushing anxiety and it does not go away. Even when i get back out east it takes me days to feel like a person again.
every pane of glass that your pebbles tap/negates the pains I went through to avoid you/and every little pat on the shoulder for attention/fails to mention I still hate you -- chicago is so two years ago -- i did not visit for almost two years, and then only did so because my grandmother was dying. Had she not been, it would have likely been so much longer. I spent those two years hating that small town, because i thought if i hated it i wouldn't miss it, and it all hurt so much that it wasn't hard to try to hate it. (that didn't work, because even though it hurt, it was still home)
I know I should be home/all the colors of the street signs, they remind me of the/pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house -- chicago is so two years ago -- it's the little things that get me, the parts that weren't so bad, the parts that were even good, the parts that killed me to leave behind. The first dance class i took out east i sobbed the entire two mile walk home.
whoa, can't do it by myself -- reinventing the wheel to run myself over -- this one gets me because every time everything just feels like too much, it's amplified by the fact that i did this to myself, i chose to move away from everyone and everything i ever knew, and it's therefore my responsibility to indeed, do it by myself
we're the kids who feel like dead ends//and the poets are just kids who didn't make it -- i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth (summer song) -- literally all of my friends from home don't quite fit the midwestern mold, and we're all mentally ill creative types. We're in our mid twenties now and have felt like burn outs for years
I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light -- sophomore slump or comeback of the year -- the same best friend from earlier. I worry the small town is crushing her and she's so, so bright.
the best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize two out of three ain't bad -- i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off (me & you) -- you make sacrifices to survive. Mental, emotional, physical, everyone's sacrificing something just to make it through.
it's all a game of this or that, now versus then/better off against worse for wear/and you're someone who knows someone who knows someone/I once knew, and I just want to be a part of this -- hum hallelujah -- the duality of living in such a small town where everyone knows everyone and still feeling like you have no place to belong
literally all of g.i.n.a.s.f.s. but especially: everybody wants to drive on through the night if it's a drive back home//things aren't the same anymore, some nights, they get so bad//i sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house//it's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you, I'm supposed to love you//I've already given up on myself twice third time is the charm//threw caution to the wind, but I've got a lousy arm -- ioh was my first fob cd, and i listened to it on repeat the summer i spent commuting from my parents house to the hospital in the city to camp until i finally got an apartment. This was also the year i spent coming out to myself, terrified of the future and expectations i knew I'd never meet. I was also in love with one of my best friends and god it hurts so much for your first love to feel so wrong
I will never end up like him/behind my back, I already am -- headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet -- when i first moved to the east coast i swore I'd assimilate and no one would know where i came from, but the second I'd open my mouth it would be "oh what part of the midwest are you from?" Over time I've learned to make peace with the parts of myself that are so unavoidably rural and midwestern, but there were parts i resented for a long time, because it felt like I'd never be free from where i grew up
I don't know where I'm going/but I don't think I'm coming home -- alone together -- i remember driving home from a college course i was taking my senior year of high school and just, dreaming of driving on, starting somewhere new
and in the end/i'll do it all again -- the kids aren't alright -- if things had been different, if i'd grown up differently, i wouldn't be who i am today. Also i almost got these lyrics tattooed on my thigh. Still might tbh
you were the sunshine of my lifetime/what would you trade the pain for?//and I just about snapped, don't look back//what would you trade the pain for? I'm not sure -- love from the other side -- leaving was, and is, so goddamn hard. Every time i visit my best friend, my grandparents, i have to remind myself why i left, and why i can't go back, and so much of that focuses on looking forward because if i look at the past too much i begin to romanticize the pain
scar crossed lovers, forever -- heaven, iowa -- i am so inexplicably, irreversibly bound to the people i grew up with like some sort of fucked up trauma bonding. Out here on the east coast, in the cities, it's just different. Even people who grew up east coast "rural," it's not the same. It's strong with friends from the city i moved from and even stronger with my friend who grew up in the same county.
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kitkatopinions · 2 months
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Pyrrha, for the rewrite challenge
Alrighty, this one will be fun! Here's the thing about Pyrrha, I love her, but I don't know if I would write her to survive the fall of Beacon in a re-write. I go back and forth on it. So I'll write up to the fall of beacon, and then I'll write an 'if Pyrrha lived' thing too, because I just can't choose. XD
So, backstory for our girl. For a long time now, I've headcanoned that Pyrrha's parents were kind of like the Hunter version of pageant parents. I'd have it so Pyrrha's semblance was discovered when she was a toddler, and her parents started to make her do daily exercising, take daily fighting lessons, watch old Vytal tournaments, and started trying to build her up a brand to make her into 'the world's best huntress' as early as possible. (Also she'd be doing 'semblance training,' because in my rewrite, I would make semblances something that takes effort and training to use effectively.) I'd make it so that Pyrrha had a slow building resentment to her parents and the future they envisioned for her, but they put a lot of pressure on her to continue, insisting that she loves combat and has a duty to help people. So, Pyrrha would spend the first fifteen years of her life kind of just doing what her parents want, erring on the side of rich and feeling like she can't complain because of all the nice things she has, but also not happy. And she wouldn't have any friends, always too busy with training and brand deals and stuff to make or keep them (though I'd make it so that she and Neptune know each other from the combat school in Mistral. XD) Pyrrha's first big choice that's outside of what her parents want would be attending Beacon instead of Haven.
As for her time at Beacon, I would first introduce Pyrrha not right after Jaune comments about wanting to find a cute quirky girl, but as someone who seems eager to learn and inspired by Oz and Glynda at when they address the students. I would still make her partners with Jaune in their first challenge, but I wouldn't have Pyrrha teach Jaune how to fight alone. I'd make it so that Team JNPR and RWBY figure out pretty easily that Jaune (although less clueless than he is in canon) can't fight very well, and Jaune, Ren, Pyrrha, Ruby, and Yang keep covering for him and insist on helping him learn, and Weiss and Blake reluctantly get pulled into it. So it's actually a group thing that helps establish a bond between Team RWBY and Team JNPR, rather than like... A ship thing. I would also make taking Cardin down a peg into more of a victory for Pyrrha thing rather than making it all about Jaune while she secretly helps from the sidelines. I would have it so that even though Cardin still bullies Jaune, he also picks on and disrespects the other mains, and Pyrrha frequently rises to the challenge and 'embarrasses' him, and Cardin's misogynist vibes from canon turn into blatant misogyny, lol, and Pyrrha figures out a way to get him suspended or maybe even expelled eventually. I would also start setting up her and Weiss as having crushes on each other around the dance arc, having Pyrrha's crush on Jaune still present but not reciprocated, and having Pyrrha wind up with a romantic moment with Weiss rather than pairing Weiss off with Neptune for that. I'd make it so that Pyrrha's family also is trying to get her to do all this stuff she doesn't want to do, and she confides in Weiss about it and that kind of makes Weiss think a bit about her own family and what she wants.
Then we get to season three territory, and I would use the whole Maiden thing ("Guardian" in my rewrite) to give Pyrrha a stronger connection to Oz and Glynda specifically, and make Oz really contrast her parents by assuring Pyrrha that going through with being a Guardian is her choice and her choice alone, that she doesn't have to do it, and really is just guilt trip free. I'd have Pyrrha keep it from her team, and instead confine in Weiss what's going on without specifics (to get Team RWBY more involved in inner circle stuff earlier.) Then maybe Weiss would be the one who goes with Pyrrha when she goes to become a Guardian during the fall. If I had her die, those are the only changes I'd make, and I'd have her death impact a lot of people outside of Jaune, specifically Weiss. I'd also have a funeral for her that Ruby and JNR would attend at the end of V3 before they set off on their mission but Weiss, Yang, and Blake have to miss due to their respective issues, which is a wild missed opportunity in canon.
But if I did have Pyrrha live, I still wouldn't have her be involved in the main story for a while. I would have her lose to Cinder and nearly die (which is what Ruby sees and triggers her silver eyes still,) but be taken to Atlas by Ironwood to receive critical care. Ruby would tell people what she saw, leaving most people certain that she's dead and Jaune one of the only people who insists she might still be alive (I do like Jaune as a concept, I'm not gonna give him nothing. XD) Pyrrha would take a while to recover, but then start working to help Ironwood in Atlas, not attending school there and instead tutoring directly under Winter and the Ace Ops. She'd be more serious and subdued after her near death experience, and not very sure of herself, leading her to not take the offer of becoming the next Winter Guardian and instead having Penny slotted for that role. And Team RWBY and co would be shocked to meet her again when they were brought in on Ironwood's plans. Then I'd have her kind of act as a bit of a bridge between Team RWBY and Ironwood and the Ace Ops along with Penny. And I might have her be on Team RWBY's side while Penny is on Ironwood's side when they have their split (though of course I'd give that heavy editing and not make Ironwood a villain.) But also as for Pyrrha and Weiss... I'd have Weiss have moved on and now have stronger feelings for Yang, and Pyrrha would have to deal with and accept that. I might find someone else to put Pyrrha with eventually... But yeah, her and Weiss wouldn't end up together.
That's my plan, anyway.
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petitmonde · 1 year
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Meet ugly
A set of dialogue prompts and scenarios for meet ugly, because who doesn't need chaos in their lives? Send in a prompt and/or scenario + a ship. Feel free to share and use.
I'd like to thank @missjanjie and @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney for their help.
Dialogue prompts
1. "Is that my car?"
2. "Oh, so that was you?"
3. "Please never contact me again"
4. "You shouldn't be in here"
5. "Who the hell are you?"
6. "So listen, I met the worst bitch ever on my way to work"
7. "Can you shut up? At least for ten minutes"
8. "You could say sorry"
9. "Just don't puke on my carpet"
10. "I don't even know you"
11. "I didn't ask for your life story"
12. "I didn't sign up for this"
13. "Okay, rule number one, don't talk to me"
14. "That fucking hurt"
15. "Did your parents hate you when they named you that?"
16. "That is the ugliest dress I've ever seen"
17. "I think I just spilled coffee all over our new boss"
18. "I'm pretty sure my date is hitting on your date"
19. "Wait, this isn't my apartment?"
20. "If you kick my seat one more time, I'm cutting off your legs."
21. "Get out"
22. "Well here's the thing, I don't care"
23. "I'm going to call the cops"
24. "It's loaded"
25. "Shit, I thought you weren't home"
26. "It's been six months and you still don't know their name?"
27. "I think you got the wrong number"
28. "Put your clothes back on"
29. "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't answer that, I already know"
30. "When I see that bitch again"
31. "I don't have a death wish"
32. "I am not getting in that car with you"
33. "Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?"
34. "Okay, for the last fucking time"
35. "Didn't you hear me?"
36. "Get a grip, get a life and get over it"
37. "I am not going to entertain drama, chaos, confusion and madness"
38. "I'm not bothered, not at all"
39. "I knew she was a clown from the jump"
40. "I'm not finished talking to you"
41. "I pity you for the face that you have"
42. "Here, let me buy you a new one"
43. "I don't want it anymore"
44. "You're getting blood all over me"
45. "You will be hearing from my lawyer"
46. "Well, you can go fuck yourself"
47. "Did you ever work in porn?"
48. "Who invited you?"
49. "This sounds like a scam"
50. "$800? I don't have that kind of money"
Scenarios
A. A and B have an appointment at the same clinic after their partner cheated on them, without knowing the other person is their side piece.
B. A server spills a milkshake on a customer's fancy new shirt, and is entirely unapologetic about it.
C. A and B match on Tinder and they quickly realise the other person is insane and unmatch. They then meet again on a blind date.
D. They've waged a passive aggressive war against eachother for years for being 'that annoying neighbour' by leaving notes in the laundry room without actually having met.
E. They're both hospitalised in the same room, and absolutely everything their new roommate does is annoying. And their family and friends are even worse.
F. It's the worst day ever already, and in comes an idiot who thinks it's cute to be overly friendly.
G. A is gleefully eating something B had been looking forward to all week – and it was the last one!
H. A stole B's cat accidentally, but now it's been over a year, so whose cat is it really.
I. A suddenly having to become a babysitter for a very drunk B, a complete stranger.
J. A and B have been tricked into babysitting the same pair of chaotic twins.
K. A finds B wildly attractive, and has had a crush on them for a good while, however during their first conversation, A blanks and insults B.
L. Just your ordinary everyday traffic accident between a car and a bike.
M. A drunkenly texts B, thinking they're A's ex, and now B won't stop teasing them about it.
N. On a skiing trip, A walks into what they think is their own lodge, only to find that the bed they're sleeping in belongs to B, who very much doesn't appreciate waking up to being spooned by a stranger.
O. A is the sole reason they're desperately trying to survive an avalanche.
P. A's dog messes up B's date, but is refusing to pay for a new pair of pants.
Q. A's sibling fucks over B, and when B comes over to slap some sense into them, they end up slapping A.
R. A gets an angry phone call from B, cussing out someone with a name that's similar to theirs. At first they wanted to hang up, but now A just really wants to hear how that person fucked up.
S. A is a stand-in for B's partner in a reality TV show, and is doing their damnedest at messing them up since B was dismissive of them when they met. Revenge isn't always cold, bitch.
T. They're sharing an Uber from a club, and holy shit, A is bleeding all over the place, so B has no option but to help to avoid paying a cleaning fee.
U. A works at an amusement park as a mascot in a suit. B lives to torment the mascots, and now that there aren't kids around, A is ready to let them have it.
V. A is running late, and only notices their shirt is inside out in the elevator. They try to put it on right but they get stuck with their shirt half off. B is the shocked neighbour who finds A like that.
W. A has brought in flowers to work to welcome the new hire, who happens to be extremely allergic to said flowers.
X. Someone keeps stealing A's food from the fridge, and having had enough, A poisons their food with an inordinate amount of chili peppers. Now to wait for the screams of B come lunchtime.
Y. If A doesn't shut up about their ex anytime soon, B is going to blow a gasket and tell them to get a life. They're in public for fucks sake, have your mental breakdown somewhere else.
Z. A has talked mad shit about B at length, not realising they'd be their next opponent in their next match. Now it's personal.
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writingmochi · 7 months
Text
! "favorite kpop group(s)" tag game !
tagged by: raeri @14raeriluv thank you so much for tagging me! (you've tagged me twice n i want more if you have more tag games under your sleeve. also, it is raeri, right? or rae?)
| who is your favourite kpop group?
currently, txt, enhypen, ateez (yes, in that order cause i enjoy ateez's songs but don't follow their schedule as much, i watched en-o'clock and jake is my muse but don't usually hear their songs, and i can still feel my heart fluttering whenever i come across txt)
| which member sparked your interest first?
txt: yeonjun! he's the first member to be revealed during their debut days and i was one of the first to watch his announcement vid
enhypen: jake. his pics and vids during i-land days (even tho i don't interact with i-land cause i am SICK of survival shows, fuuuuck them!)
ateez: seonghwa cause of his appearance that i still remember (the platinum blond hair with fake lip ring)
| who was your first bias?
txt: soobin is who i claimed as my first bias (i had to be careful with that cause i had a friend who believes the "bias is mine" mindset and she also picked soobin lol so i claimed that my bias is yeonjun >.<)
enhypen: jungwon! i know surprising, but he is and will be my younger bro, but my bias changes depending on who i vibe with and having a sibling connection with won feels weird because i usually read fics of my biases and it feels awkward for me to read a reader x won fic (esp if it's romantic)
ateez: mingi. i like people with deep voices (cause i also have one for being a contralto) and his voice just caught me off guard. then, i moved to wooyoung because he likes jimin and park jimin was my ult bias for like 4 years (i'm a simple girl. if he biases my bias, he is my bias)
| who is your current bias?
txt: soobin
enhypen: jake
ateez: seonghwa
| what makes them your current bias?
visual and voice definitely come to mind. for me, they are so partner-coded with their own pros and cons and i think all of them have a sense of stability within them (soobin with leadership, jake with intelligence, seonghwa with wisdom). while career-wise, they're the underdogs of their groups and i have a thing for underdogs that makes me wanna support them more. they're not flashy enough to be called an ace but also talented enough to be an all-rounder
| who is your bias wrecker?
txt: yeonjun for the longest time. taehyun when i was writing troubled pixies (i even considered biasing yeonbintyun because of it)
enhypen: jay and heeseung! jongseong's been the longest bias wrecker in enha since he almost stole jaeyun's seat numerous times while heeseung is a new one because he's FFFFFFFFAAAAAAWWWKKKing hot and talented (also their music taste combined = my current music taste + they play instruments so that's a plus for me cause i love musicians (most of my real life crush are musicians/can play instruments))
ateez: CHOI SAN FTW istg this guy pls let me bias seonghwa in peace. also, i'll never forget my time biasing wooyoung and he is still lingering on my mind
| which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?
txt: i don't think i have one. my member obsession will change depending on which fics of theirs that i'm currently writing (cause all of them are equally chaotic in my eye)
enhypen: KIM SUNOO MY BESTIE!!! he's my fellow 03 liner bestie and he's just a breath of neutral-feminine fresh air in the otherwise hypermasculine vibes of enhypen. i always see myself supporting him more than jake cause he is also an underdog in my eye
ateez: jeong yunho. the immaculate talent he has. the freaking smile. UGHHHHH
| when did you first discover the group?
txt: have been there since the beginning, baby! pre-debut times where bighit announces that bts is having a little brother group and the rest is history
enhypen: i've known about i-land (that's when i saw jake's announcement pic and he is such AWOOGAH) but i'm pissed off by survival shows that i don't wanna feel traumatized anymore. i've heard of given-taken but i didn't start being a fan until drunk-dazed - fever era cause that ep is so nice and they have a show with txt so... yeah!
ateez: back in 2018, so many random play dance vids had pirate king as one song in their roster and so i started to get interested. i became a fan during the start of the treasure ep 2 promotions (the red bg concept photo with blond seonghwa, yes that's the one that i mentioned before) and i binge their content including kq fellaz, ep 1, and the short version of hala hala at that time and it's still one of my fav songs of theirs
| have you ever been to one of their concerts?
txt: twice! act: lovesick in 2022 and act: sweet mirage in 2023. i stand pretty far from the stage (because i don't wanna get crowd crush and i can dance and enjoy however i want) but i actually went past their van convoy on the highway on my way home lmao (me and my best friend actually didn't actually believe it was them until we saw that kai had done a very brief weverse live on the van around the same time i drove my car past their van. the fact that i'm meters away from them but we're shielded by each of our vehicles sadge)
enhypen: never, cause they don't consider my city/country to have many engenes. i'm willing to pay to go watch them in another city/country but depends on scheduling and setlist (cause i'm here to watch them perform given-taken live and they don't have it in the latest setlist for the fate tour which is such a disappointment on my end)
ateez: yeah? they're part of a line up for spotify on stage back in 2019 alongside (g)i-dle and rich brian. so i consider that i have watched them in a concert~
| what are some of your favourite songs by this group?
making this a top 5 (in no particular order) cause that will challenge me
txt: farewell, neverland ; ghosting ; growing pain ; can we just leave this monster alive ; our summer
enhypen: given-taken ; attention, please ; blockbuster ; flicker ; shout out
ateez: answer ; hala hala ; take me home ; utopia ; inception
tagging: the moots who are active recently aka @boba-beom @junniieesbby @lovejoshua @itz-yerin @wave2tyun @sooepz @euphor1a @pyeonghongrie @txt-yaomi and writers i've interacted with recently (through the networks and sideblogs) @wonryllis @beomie3 @gyutarling @anyamaris @wooyoungqueen @sanjoongie @stardragongalaxy and anyone i didn't tag can also join in! (soz if i forget yall tho)
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