#just some thoughts i don't know
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went into a queer-owned cafe yesterday and they had this shelf of asexual books to borrow and read and it made me quite emotional which is silly but like... this place puts a big emphasis on being a queer safe space and stuff, and i guess that subconsciously i have been feeling like there's not a lot of space for aspec people in queer spaces since to other people queerness is so often sexual? i guess? like you go to gay bars or drag events and it's all about sex and sexyness and even just online queer spaces and fandoms can be SO horny sometimes that it just feels like we don't quite fit in there </3 so anyways shoutout to the little asexual library in the coffee shop i was in because it made me very happy <3
#asexual#aspec#just some thoughts i don't know#poppy don't hate me for aceposting while you're asleep
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WAIT when did he get FANGS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#brushie brushie#i thought i was imagining it but i have compared screenshots and it is true#they gave him a bunch of new animations and just decided to throw some fangs in there too!#unless this is an earlier thing i just missed because i don't pay attention (very possible)#anyway i decided to do one last ten-pull and THERE HE WAS#and his personal story is SO unexpectedly cute oh my gosh#at any given moment crewel is thinking about how much he misses his dog(s)#it is CANON#canon like the fangs (why) (i'm not complaining i just want to KNOW)#get you a fandom where they randomly and with no explanation give a character fangs I GUESS#anyway thank you sensei for validating the mountain of keys i threw into the void for you#i'd assumed he'd duo with grim so it is unfortunate that it turned out to be with a card i don't have and will probably never get 🙃#but it is VERY funny actually that he duos with crowley so i'll forgive him#the only funnier character would be jack#OR NO WAIT actually leona#'which character would be the funniest to --' the answer is always. ALWAYS. leona
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A very strange feeling that comes from being a trans man is like. I am fundamentally the same person after coming out that I was before coming out. There are some differences (I'm happier and more comfortable in my own skin, for instance, and everyone changes a little bit over time) but overall I still have the same personality traits, same values and morals, etc etc. But after I came out, people who thought I was a perfectly okay and decent person switched to thinking I'm dangerous and untrustworthy, even when nothing about me had changed except the gender label they know me as.
#i expected the whole. women who don't know me trust me less now that i look like a man to them#that makes sense if i am just some random dude they see on the street#but people who thought i was trustworthy before i came out? and now don't? it's very strange#anti-transmasculinity
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Ellie and Raven have a complex relationship
So! This is an AU where Dan is Trigon, and Ellie joined the Teen Titans. It's not really a Story, but I thought it was funny.
...
Robin: I have a Question for the two of you.
Ellie: What's up?
Raven: Hm?
Robin: You guys call eachother Sisters, Cousins, and in one case you called eachother Aunt and Niece. What's your exact relation?
Ellie: Well that's tricky. See, my Dad is the King of the Infinite Realms, and his true name is Danny. Raven's dad is Trigon, but his true name is Dante.
Robin: And are Danny and Dante brothers?
Raven: No, not technically. See, Dante is an Evil Alternate Future Version of Danny, so they are technically the same Person. But then Dante came to the past, got beaten by Danny, and got shoved into a Mortal body for a while.
Ellie: If that was all, they we could just call eachother Sisters or Cousins. Our Dad's are technically the Same Person, but they consider eachother Brothers.
Raven: Except Ellie isn't a normal daughter.
Robin: What? How?
Ellie: I'm technically a Clone if Danny, not his Daughter. So I'm simultaneously Raven's Sister, Cousin, and Parent since I'm a Copy of a version of her Dad, but I could also be considered her Aunt since Danny and I called eachother siblings before we decided I was his Daughter.
Raven: So Ellie is my Sister/Cousin/Aunt/Mom/Dad.
Robin: ...what the hell.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Just thought of this while thinking of my Dan is Trigon post#And I found it funny#Ellie could be considered Raven's Mom since she is a Clone of an Alternative Future version of her Dad#Of her Aunt since she used to he considered the Sister of an alternate version of her Dad#They have fun with it#Nobody knows exactly how they are actually related#They don't even really know#On some Technicalities Raven and Ellie could be considered the Same Person
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
#oughhhhhhh#this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol#i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content#and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock#but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once#and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion#i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like#a handful of times at best#it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away#(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts#musing about fandoms past as well#that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore#also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)
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#OC
#my art#oc#original character#qv art#quinn#don't mind me just fiddling around with some original stuff~#me conceiving any character idea ever: what if....a hot guy 🫢#groundbreaking I know#anyway I don't have much on this boy because I just thought of him last week 💅#but his name is quinn and he's always cold and his bf is a vampire 😌#(this has nothing to do with the fact that I rewatched the twilight saga last week don't look at me)#please treat him kindly 🥺#quinncent
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Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.
#disability#disability advocacy#and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem...#...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder...#...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you...#...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking...#...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability...#...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers#i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience#like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities...#...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out...#...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking...#...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors?#i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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I love how extreme found family is in one piece. Like they took supernatural line of "Family don't end in blood" and actually made good on it. Because it's not just that the crew found each other even before that only really very briefly Robin, Usopp and Luffy could say that anyone biologically related to them raised them.
Like Luffy had Garp and that's his grandpa but he also had Makino and Shanks and the red hair pirates and they were a family unit and he also had Ace, Sabo Dandan and the bandits and they were a family as well and it's never who mattered more to Luffy or who actually raised him cause they all did. It'd be hard to put him in a nuclear family structure because so many people fill the same roles in his life in different ways and that's great like Kung Fu panda said "that doesn't mean less for one parent it just means more for Luffy"
And that's the thing I think sometime fandom can get very obsessive with trying to pin down who is whose surrogate father/mother how do they fit in the nuclear family structure and while that's fun and there's nothing wrong with head cannon characters that way I also think it's important to remember that not every relationship needs a title or definition sometimes you are just family and that's valid too.
Ace had Luffy and Garp but he also had the whitebeard pirates and his pops same with Sabo and the revolutionaries
Zoro with Kuina and his old kendo master, that was maybe more of a rivals, mentor mentee relationship than whatever Mihawk Zoro and Perona had going on but it's all family none the less.
Chopper with Hiririluk and Kureha. Perona and Moria, Usopp with the little village boys and Kaya. Shanks and Buggy with the Roger Pirates. They might not all have had defined roles with each other but it was still family.
Just like Sanji, Nami, Franky and Law and their more defined Surrogate familes
And people like Vivi Robin Usopp and Shirahoshi who had/have their biological parents/family that love them and raised them.
It's nobody that I've just mentioned properly fitting squarely into any of these categories because it's all complicated family is complicated and its messy and it's big and everyone in your family might not have even met but it's family and it doesn't end in blood and for some people it never started there either.
#what does it mean to be family? maybe there's a lower barrier to entry than we thought#I don't know as someone who has been raised atleast partially by many different people most not related to me#and has a very large and sprawling extended family#complicated family structures means everything to me#like yes let me not be able to connect the dot let different people mean the same thing but different things to the same perosn#Shanks was Luffy's dad but he was also his drunk uncle and his much older brother he's also his friend#Garp is luffy's grandad but he's also not his friend he's his father and his mentor garp thought him how to fight.#Rayleighs just some old dude that believes in him but he's Shanks dad but to luffy he's just a mentor and maybe a friend#Like yes just because we cant draw the dots on how we are connetcted together doesnt mean it's not family#op#straw hat pirates#straw hat luffy#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#nami#sanji#tony tony chopper#nico robin#trafalgar law#monkey d garp#portgas d ace#revolutionary sabo#asl brothers#asl trio#nakamaship#straw hats#franky one piece#usopp#goth family#one piece
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"Huh."
#as with every game with some human mind stuffed into a machine i need to ask if he still has human instinct left in there somewhere#also i don't really think ordan would eat elegantly like some royalties anyways#you know the more i read about ordis the more i like him#i mean i never thought his talking is annoying like some people do apparently#but after going through the cephalon fragment thingy my thoughts about him-#-turned from “ominously happy” to “murderous but also kinda cute happy”#and you'd think it should be the other way around#hey if he has erased his memory a lot of times and probably has gone through the same reasoning-#-every time he chooses memory erasure rather than self destruction because he would probably also remember the previous attempts#will he someday choose the other option instead because of all the pain he endured?#(hopefully not i actually like him it's not destiny 2 i hope DE don't just yeet characters off their game that frequently)#also i like how he can take up some ordan karris knowledge by treating it as some stories / facts about others but not about himself#neat but he probably would have to erase his memories more often because it's still about ordan karris i guess#warframe#warframe operator#warframe ordis#ordis#my art
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presented without comment
#I SCREAMED#THIS WHOLE STORY IS HILARIOUS#pissing out cancer#hank green#truly what being a person with restraint and critical thought is like when someone says some bullshit to you directly#just 'you know I don't react to everything but if you wanna fucking play the game I sure as fuck can play bro.'
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...older Fire Lord Zuko with a sheer top and his tits out you say?
ID: three drawings of aged-up zuko from Avatar the last airbender as fire lord. on the left side a full body of zuko front view. In the middle, zuko from the waist up leaning over a cluttered table growling and spitting flames at the viewer. In the third image on the right, zuko from the waist up sits bored and exhausted in his chair. cluttered desk and paperwork in front of him. End ID
I probably did advertise the sheer top wrong! it's more like a robe! just… a bit seethrough… because… you know… self-indulgence…? for me… ? for us? (yes he only has one lense in his his glasses becasue we in the fandom just know why!)
art-blog: chiptrillino-art
#chip!ask#chip!art#zuko#atla#fire lord zuko#me finishing art??? uhm... maybe? idk#listen sometimes you need to like... just go by vibes because you have to get it out of your system....#and you don't feel like fact checking if this is accurate or not you just saw it thought it was preatty kind of fit and went with it#that... that is the result of that... -sweats-#and then you kind of like it a lot....#also fight me i refuse to give him a propper top knot!#it will always be messy... some how... this guy is just a mess... fight me!#the loser lord#said apriciative#i was vary close to give him just a monikel but i didn't know how to attach it#also glasses gaang yaiiiii
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#hellsing#my art#pride 2024#happy pride month#alexander anderson#enrico maxwell#heinkel wolfe#heinkel wulf#yumie takagi#yumiko takagi#yumikel#no cops at pride just Alexander Anderson#yumie's the one who bought the flag for Anderson#very small detail but I'd give Enrico a big forehead and some forehead wrinkles in his design#also I was gonna draw Renaldo but I got lazy bc I thought of it right as I finished all of these losers#what's heinkel's sexuality? idfk they probably don't know either#at first I was gonna make Anderson wear a shirt that said 'god loves all his children'#but decided on the free dad hugs one bc he WOULD
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something about the first few episodes of the terror having so many numbers. the men, the provisions, the inventory; but also the tension of counting. the scene where goodsir takes a picture of john franklin and his men and he's counting down the seconds. the lashes being counted down during hickey's punishment. and something about how in later episodes, numbers get lost. dates get forgotten. counting just stops. all of it becomes insignificant. like it was a countdown at first but now the time is just running out instead
#the terror#the terror amc#just some thoughts#loved the tension this show managed to build with countdowns and numbers#especially the countdowns that happened in real time like the ones mentioned#i was stressed out of my mind counting down seconds along with mr. goodsir#and i was counting in sheer shock during hickey's lashing#technically i know not all numbers went away; they still count guns in the camp later on for example#but the way they talk about food for one. the way at some point it switches from every can being accounted for#to 'we're mostly down to biscuits‚ tea and chocolate'#because the numbers don't matter anymore; all that matters it's that it is not enough#i dunno man!! numbers! i love when numbers and countdowns are utilized well to bring more horror and tension to the situation!#ren.txt
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Strange train of thought but
I sometimes wonder if Killer actually sees the people around him as people. Like thinking, sentient people.
Kind of when you're in a public place, and you look at someone near you and think, "Oh wow. They have their own life and their own journey that just so happened to cross my own."
Because I'd like to think that part of the reason his SOUL became something neither human nor monster is because he adopted the POV/mentality of the PLAYER.
After enough resets (doesn't matter if its genocide, neutral, or pacifist), I wonder if Killer would start to slowly see people as the player does. The same lines of dialogue. The same reactions. The same habits, routines, everything. It becomes monotonous. It starts to feel like a dream. Like all of this isn't real, because he is outside of the loop.
That's why he can be apathetic when he cuts people down. Why he can be attached to certain characters/people if they make him happy. Why he is so hellbent on seeing how different "characters" tick. How they work, what they'd look like in this situation, how they would respond to this, etc.
He is used to predictability. He is thrilled when something different or something unexpected happens, like a person playing a video game and getting surprised by a sneak attack or change in dialogue.
There's no tangibility, nothing to ground him to this place because he already doesn't see the people as people.
When his SOUL unwinds and becomes unstable, he's like... in his body but not. He's in a weird, daydream like state where nothing is real. The disconnected feeling he feels towards his peers and enemy escalates, to the point that his own senses don't feel like his own.
The pain he feels isn't real. The people dying aren't real.
And his SOUL allows him to essentially disassociate.
Other times, his SOUL elicits horrible dread and agony. I mean, if he was daydreaming all the time, he'd forget that he was alive in the world he lived in. His actions still had consequences.
He's either feeling near nothing or every horrible thing imaginable.
#darkzyx#undertale au#undertale fandom#utmv#killer sans#utmv headcanons#this is just a weird train of thought I had one night#that never quite left me#I don't know#I mean I know he has some actual stuff going on with him canonically technically#but this ain't the canon stuff right now#still#I think this would be interesting#Over time he starts to actually see people for what they are#especially the others in the gang#hence why he fights so fiercely for them
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