#just so that they can pretend that they're a good person

[missdollcouture]

KILLER CONFIDENCE

building confidence is something that we have to build and choose for ourselves. you need to understand you can literally wake up and decide you're confident.

the thing that helped me with confidence was knowing that everyone can tell if you're insecure. from the way you walk, to the way you carry yourself. so I just decided that I did not wanna give off insecure energy. who does?

now, if that doesn't work for you, don't worry, I have additional tips to help you become the most confident version of yourself.

fake it till it becomes real- if you're not confident, act like it. the more you pretend you are, the more natural and real it'll become.

step outside your comfort zone- try something new, talk to someone new. yeah sure, its nerve racking and uncomfortable but that's where growth happens. the more you do this, the more confidence you develop not only in yourself but in your ability to try new things.

take care of yourself- do your nails, find your style, have a nice workout. whatever helps you feel better and the most attractive version of yourself, do it. feel good physically=feeling good mentally.

your aura- the way you carry yourself is so so important. don't walk into a room with your head down, avoiding eye contact from everyone, its not the aura you want to give off.

accept validation from yourself- don't determine your self worth off of what other people think about you, it'll only make you a people pleaser. the only person's opinion on you that matters is yours.

be authentic- authenticity is attractive. don't try to be someone you're not, its a waste of time and energy. own your weirdness, your quirks, your everything.

who cares?- believe it or not, people aren't paying as much attention to you as you think. no one's making fun of you because of that pimple, or chipped tooth, or whatever else you're criticizing yourself over. and if they are, they're honestly losers cause why are they wasting their energy on making fun of someone else?

- confidence isn't about being perfect, it's about accepting that nothing is. it's about embracing your flaws, knowing you're doing your best. you're not everyone's cup of tea, and that's perfectly fine. It's about being yourself, unapologetically.

[captainmera]

In the modern au, what would Caleb's reaction be if Philip's father reached out to him about Philip?

He does make contact!

Caleb is polite, if anything. But mostly overly compliant.

Philip's father didn't know he had a son. And very much want him. He's not a bad person, but both he and Caleb have been given different stories about the other. (they're being manipulated by Anthony Hopkins)

Pip's father has been told that Caleb isn't a great person, but comes across as pleasant and very polite. Meanwhile, Caleb had it pointed out to him that he's in a bad seat, legally.

He's just lost his job at the Roasted Robin's, he's mentally and emotionally unwell - and untreated! Their lives are their version of normal. But Caleb is growing increasingly aware of how not-normal it is.

Legally, Philip's dad has the rights to him. He gets the final say if Caleb is somebody who should be part of Philip's life or not. Caleb knows his record looks bad. But doesn't know Hopkins has set him up to failure.

Hopkins is pretending to help Caleb, in actuality he's just pushing Caleb's circumstances closer to an edge where Caleb will feel there's no better solution than suicide. Which would, in Hopkins world, leave nobody with the knowledge of the royalties.

He's trying to manipulate Caleb the way his mother was manipulated. She gave the church access to her money so she wouldn't spend it all. He's trying to do the same to Caleb, but gaslighting him into believing he's too broken to manage this himself, and needs Hopkins' guidance. Caleb does, after all, not know his way around legal things. And has no reason to disbelieve Hopkins.

Philip, in the case of Caleb dying, would be taken to his father. Leaving the Wittebane home vacant. And Hopkins could get access to any papers that'd be there, where he can sign over rights to himself. Why give it to the church??

Philip, in the meantime, isn't clued in on what's going on.

Caleb and the father discuss how to go forward, what's best for Philip. And Caleb is saying all the right things, which makes the father uncomfortable, because he's been told that Caleb is a good manipulator and mentally/emotionally abusive. So hearing him say very loving and thoughtful suggestions on how to move forward, puts him on edge.

Hopkins is, of course, banking on that the father is an idiot and will blindly trust him. But he keeps his cards close to himself. He lets Caleb's actions speak for him, and is wondering why Hopkins said Caleb was a bad person - sure, rough around the edges, but his heart is full of warmth, especially for his little brother.

Caleb's suggestion is that they move slowly. First, let him tell Philip he *has* a father that didn't know he existed, and now that he knows, wants to be part of his life.

Caleb is acutely aware that, in the end, he has no rights to Pip.

If his father wants it, social workers will get involved and they'll dig up everything that's wrong. If it gets to court, it'll traumatise Philip (mostly Caleb though) and in Caleb's world - he'll definitely lose Philip forever.

So, he's agreeing. And being friendly. And suggests that Philip and his dad hang out, maybe go on father-son dates, maybe start sleeping over on the weekends.. Y'know. Ease him into it.

Philip doesn't like this.

not. one. bit.

To him, it looks like Caleb doesn't want him anymore.

"Why don't you fight for me then?! If you want me, then take it to court!" "With what money?! Look at me, Philip! No authority would let me keep you, and honestly? Maybe they're right! Maybe I shouldn't!" "Caleb-" "No, Philip! Enough..! You know I love you, but maybe I'm.. not good for you? You know? He's not a bad man, for crying out loud, he's a dork! He has a what's cookin' good'lookin apron! I don't have that! I have... Powder-mix flapjacks!" "But I like that, it's home to me.." "Then.. I'll pack some down for you. And it'll help you make a home there too." "...." "..Pip, I don't stop being your home, just because you get a second one." "I don't need a dad. I never needed one, not a mum either. I just needed you, you've always been good enough." "you only think that because you don't know what- Philip, come back. We aren't done talking- okay."

That sorta thing! :D

[finifugue]

The Pitch of the Shrieks - Some Thoughts on Fandom and Fans

I like Lando Norris, but don't worry. I'm not one of those fans.

You know, those fans? The crazy, delusional ones? The ones who think that he's a good driver, the ones who watched Drive to Survive and thought he was hot? The ones who were excited that he was fighting for a championship? Ha! Those fans are horrible, I hate them, they're completely insane. I'm a Lando fan, but I'm not one of those fans, don't worry.

Sometimes I wonder why fans of other drivers are allowed to be delusional, though. Why other drivers' fans can do equations to prove that they can still win the WDC, but if I say I think Lando might still have a shot, I'll be told to kill myself. Why another driver making a mistake is an unlucky miss, but Lando making a mistake is proof that his delusional evil stupid fans are clearly so insane for thinking he's a good driver that they shouldn't even be watching the sport. Why, when we're all in the same circus, Lando fans are so often laughed at the most. Don't worry, though! I'm a Lando fan, but I'm not one of those fans.

Who are those fans?

"the pitch of the shrieks makes all the difference—male fans are not punished or shamed for their fandom involvement, while female fans are."

Oh. Those fans.

Those fans are stupid. They don't care about the racing. They don't actually care about the drivers. They just want their precious Lando to win because they think he's hot! Those stupid delusional fans. Those evil dumb useless women invading our space and daring to think a driver is good.

Those dumb fucking females daring to pretend to be interested in sport.

I hate Lando Norris. I hate Lando Norris and his stupid fucking delusional evil fangirls. I hate Lando Norris because his fucking fangirls are so delusional, they hope he's going to win, what kind of fucking fan hopes a driver will win? His delusional fangirls who only like him because he's hot, because they couldn't possibly watch the sport for any other reason.

I hate Lando Norris fangirls because they're all whiny delusional stupid girls, and you know what? I think Charles fangirls are stupid, too, they only like him because he's hot, too! Fuck Charles fangirls and Lando fangirls- girls like Lewis as well? Well, they must be stupid, I fucking hate fangirls and how they're ruining this sport. What other drivers do those evil fucking stupid useless bitch fucking whining girls like? I'm sure they're useless and stupid and the girls only like them because they're hot. I fucking hate fangirls.

I fucking hate girls.

.

.

(source and disclaimer under the cut)

Source

I will once again reiterate that Lando is not a perfect person and deserves valid criticism and skepticism, just like every other driver. However, a lot of hatred of him does stem from real studied ways in which female fans and fandoms are treated and thought about, and to pretend that isn't the case is to ignore one of the biggest issues in f1 as both a fandom and industry. If you have found yourself separating the ways certain fans (not just Lando fans) act from the ways the rest of the fandom acts, maybe consider what biases you're subconsciously sustaining.

[notthewriteryourelookingfor]

1 - I am not American, I am watching this from Australia so my words are being said as someone who can & will see & experience the global effects of Trumps presidency.

2 - yes, protesting right now is hard everywhere, in Australia we had threats of snipers on October 7 this year if we marched for Palestine.

Project 2025 will make it so much worse and plans to target pro-Palestine people specifically,

3 - you have 2 choices for president right now.

Kamala: who will continue to support the genocide I Gaza while she promises to try to fix things in the USA

Or

Trump: who will ALSO continue to support the genocide, maybe even ramp it up, while also dismantling workers rights, environmental regulations, destroy the economy further, and so on. He's literally bffs with Netanyahu.

This is not a decision about "who lines up with my ideals?" It's "who will be easier to fight against?"

Almost all the problems you are facing right now are cuz of Trump's first presidency: Roe v Wade being overturned (+ everything else the Supreme Court has done), food recalls due to eroding of food & health regulations, & everything the Republicans are blocking in the senate. Do you really want more?

Don't get me wrong, I hate the Democrats, they don't do anything. They're fuckin useless.

I'm not pretending to care, I care about everyone.

The problem is this:

You have to make a choice, if you do not make the choice, the worst outcome will be chosen for you.

Unfortunately you do need to prevent the Orange Cheeto from burning your house to the ground so you can continue to help others.

Here's an article of what will happen if Trump wins

Yes, it feels like blackmail, it probably is.

If you care about the people you talk about, vote for the person who isn't frothing at the mouth to hurt them even more.

I wish Kamala didn't support Israel.

I wish the majority of politicians didn't support Israel.

But saying "you don't care about these people if you care about those" is fuckin stupid.

Saying "you don't care about Palestine/Congo/Sudan if you care about immigrants/women/minorities/global health/workers rights" is unhelpful.

I know people want to vote for 3rd parties & in a lot of other countries that could work.

But there are several hundred 3rd party parties in the USA & they would need like 90% of the adult population of the USA to vote for them to win.

So let's look at it from the POV of the global south:

Who would you rather have in control of the USA, the main supporter of your colonisers & oppressors:

A woman who at most won't really make any changes but also won't make things like climate change worse so things like rising sea levels & famine worse, & won't start a nuclear war over a fuckin twitter dispute.

Or

A man who is frothing at the mouth to start a nuclear war, is BFFs with the leader of your colonisers/oppressors, has explicitly stated that he wants to wipe you off the face off the world, make everything related to climate change worse, cause another global depression, & has said that he wants to be US Hitler.

Neither is a good option

Both are bad options

But saying "protecting yourself so you can continue to help others is bad" is not only harmful to everyone (including the people you're claiming to support) but it also comes off really disingenuous & makes it seem like you're just lifting up the global south to drown out the voices you don't want to hear.

Not saying that's what you're doing but that's what it seems.

Sorry to post politics on main, but some of you pro-palestine people are missing the point when it comes to the US election.

At this point, there is really no alternative to voting for Kamala. RFK is not getting elected. Trump would be infinitely worse for the Israel-Palestine conflict (as well as other conflicts! and our well-being in general).

Stop virtue signaling and actually do something (vote) so that America can have a better leader than Trump. That’s all. We’re not voting for our next Messiah, we’re not voting between two perfect angels, it’s a US presidential election.

And those of you saying that Kamala is “committing genocide” really need to get things into perspective. The Vice President does not have the power to furnish weapons to Israel. Israel’s prime minister is acting in direct defiance of the Biden/Harris administration’s wishes and Harris has been the most vocal in asking for a ceasefire.

The Palestine conflict is not an excuse to not vote. Not voting makes it likely that Trump will win, history will go on whether you play a part or not. I want my reproductive rights back. Please.

[yetanotherexhaustedalchemist]

Yandere song picks reasonings

A follow-up to my post where I assigned each of the boys (minus Ortho, obviously) a yandere-adjacent song. This list probably won't make sense unless you've read that first. My reasoning may or may not be solid, so feel free to suggest your own picks if you want!

Riddle: I like the idea that Riddle would be resistant to the obsessiveness that comes with being a yandere; not that he isn't obsessive, but that he doesn't like what he is feeling. I think he would dislike that he fell in love when he is supposed to be focused with school - but since there's no going back, he thinks he should be allowed the equally obsessive highs of love. (I also saw a animation of Riddle to this song on tiktok which inspired me)

Ace: The almost casual vibes of the song fit Ace nicely - he strikes me as the kind of yandere who'd switch between dangerously serious and joking and chill. The verses are more sinister, but the choruses are playful enough to almost make you forget the danger.

Deuce: Evil Deuce has a present father ig Delinquent Deuce = Yandere Deuce. At least yandere Deuce would at least try to put up a civil act so he wouldn't scare you off, but it goes without saying that he wouldn't be very good at it.

Cater: Out of everyone, I really think Cater would be one of the most self-aware yanderes. And he would lean into it. He knows how to show people what they want to see. He'd be the type to shower his beloved with so much affection that you wouldn't really want to acknowledge the skeletons in Cater's closet. 

Trey: I don't have much to add, honestly... The song's desperate almost remorseful themes just seemed to fit him. 

Leona: With how Leona feels like he's always second best, I feel like he could really attach to the idea that it's you and him against the world (for better or worse). Yeah.

Jack: It's called The Wolf, what do you want from me? But seriously, if someone has generally as kind as Jack was to be a yandere, it would be a primal and feral kind of thing. 

Ruggie: The vibes just fit him somehow, idk. He's a sneaky, persistent type. I also like to imagine him pestering his beloved when they're working a shift at the Mostro Lounge.

Azul: Sophisticated vibes and desperation to be loved are just Azul to me.

Jade: Jade is - and i cannot stress this enough - absolutely unhinged. He's absolutely one of the more violent/brutal yanderes, and he'd do it just to see how you'd react.

Floyd: The laid-back threats of violence are very Floyd, and it's basically canon that he's in the mafia anyway. He'll be the one busting kneecaps though. (Replace Johnny with Shrimpy, perhaps?)

Kalim: *muffled sobs*

Jamil: The sinister manipulation and cruel ultimatum feel like Jamil's style. I don't think he would be as delusional/unaware/convinced of their innocence as the singer, but I can picture him pretending to be more desperate as a manipulation tactic.

Vil: It's so refined and elegant? It's about poison?? Need I say more

Epel: 'Baby, I'm a gangster too' fits Epel's innocent appearance and unruly personality really well, I think. He strikes me as the kind of yandere who'd be jealous over most things.

Rook: It's already canon that he's obsessed with beauty, that's just Rook. 

Idia: This would be him with his beloved when he overblots and tries to reset the world.

Malleus: LISTEN Music of the Night (and a lot of Phantom of the Opera songs) are just so Malleus to me. If he sang this to me I'd be 2000% seduced. that's it, that's my reasoning.

Silver: Darling's lyrics are something like a distorted (dare i say, twisted) fairytale love song. It just works for Silver.

Sebek: Sebek is enthusiastic about things he's passionate about (cough cough Malleus) and I think that could quickly spiral into something much more unhinged in a yandere senario. That plus crocodile's status as apex predators and his large appetite... (Would he actually eat his beloved? probably not. hopefully not.)

Lilia: Loveit? Has such a... practiced insanity to it? The singer's actions are carefully executed and very premeditated, but their mind is totally warped, and I think that fits Lilia's terrifying war general/loving and mischievous faerie duality. It's a duality that would be terrifying if he was a yandere, for sure.

[lightbulb-warning]

so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently

[lala-blahblah]

I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

[hetalian-veteran]

I put "other" here as my answer. And I apologize in advance for all I'm going to write, but I have so much to say.

I definitely agree with the points you made here, in that Hetalia itself is rife with issues. Many of which would likely send modern audiences into a coma if they came out today. Particularly the first two seasons. However, I will say that Hetalia still has some good comedy and satire in it. As someone who recently rewatched the entire series, here are my thoughts. It's also important to note here that I almost exclusively watch the English dub, so that will likely color some of my opinions.

I think one's enjoyment of Hetalia can depend on which seasons you're watching. For example, the first two seasons of Hetalia actually have much more problematic humor than I remember. Auschwitz is mentioned several times, and while jokes are never made about it, the presence of this word in a satire/comedy about world history feels very off-putting. Even if it is based around WWII, this isn't a topic you'd consider to be "comedic." Not to mention two specific statements Germany makes in season one that I am not brave enough to quote here. As well as Italy doing a particular salute at least once or twice. I'd mention more, but these are the biggest ones that stand out in my brain.

Seasons three and four also have issues, though I don't remember all of them as well. The ones that stand out the most in my mind is the portrayal of France, which even extends further back to the previous two seasons. I'll be honest, even back then France made me deeply uncomfortable. He is often found making perverted comments throughout the first four seasons, and need we remember the infamous scene in season three where he tried to force England to strip down for the Olympics? The whole thing is pretty messed up looking back.

However, I still think the first four seasons can be genuinely fun and enjoyable if you ignore the problematic elements. But for some, finding humor in a show like Hetalia can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. And I don't blame them. There's a lot to sift through. I feel like one's enjoyment for the series not only depends on the seasons they watch, but on their comfort level. Some people find stereotypes funny, others don't. I think it could very well be a personal taste thing (though I will admit, Germany's comments, Italy's salutes, and the mentions of Auschwitz are things that I really cannot defend, nor will I try to. They were just bad).

Now, seasons 5 and onward are very interesting, in that it seems like the humor of Hetalia has become more and more sanitized over time. The characters are still stereotyped, yes, but offensive jokes seem to have taken a backseat to focusing more on physical comedy, casual settings for the characters to interact, and talking about history. Not to mention that some of the characters, France especially, have gotten some serious work done in regard to how they're written. France went from being, let's just say it, pretty freaking creepy, to being a flirty, hopeless romantic who loves the arts and beauty of his country (season 5 actually made France one of my favorite characters, believe it or not).

I should also mention season 7 and how it covers the industrial revolution. That was actually really interesting and well done, while still being informative and funny without being particularly offensive. At least not from what I remember. I can honestly see those episodes being shown in a high school history class, or even middle school.

So, I will end by circling back to your question. "Is Hetalia quality media?"

My answer? It depends on what you're looking for. I believe art is subjective, and animated shows are no exception to this. What may be horrifically offensive to one person may be hilarious to another, and vice versa. I think it truly depends on the person. And I'm not going to pretend to know what different people do or don't find funny or offensive. While there are parts of Hetalia I still find enjoyable, there are plenty of moments I can say with absolute certainty have not aged well.

I think much of Hetalia's enjoyment today comes from the fandom and its fan-content. You may not like the source material, but you can always find some enjoyment in the versions of the characters you find online or have invented in your head. I know I do.

But yeah, that's my two cents. Sorry if that's too much. I just started typing and the thoughts started pouring out.

So, last night I was talking with a friend and I asked him if he actually hated Hetalia. He said he didn't hate it (and respects my enjoyment for it), but he necessarily doesn't like it and can't see himself getting into it. His reasoning is that the premise is pretty controversial and Hetalia has all of his urks that he doesn't like within media.

Which is understandable, because I brought up to him that even the fandom is pretty aware of the amount of issues Hetalia has and even I, myself, despite how much I love and adore this series, can admit that Hetalia isn't really quality media at all and it's the only thing I cannot see myself recommending it to other people.

So I'm wondering how much the fandom feels similar feelings that I do. Especially considering the amount of issues the series has and the amount of complaints from fans (ex: depictions of nations, writing, character design, historical accuracy, etc.).

I phrase the question the way I did because there is a difference if something is good vs. quality. This is also a pretty subjective question, so feel free to elaborate on your answer and add onto this post as well.

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[kasper7489]

I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)

But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'

Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!

[katyspersonal]

[mintybreakfast]

My issue here is not that some of my earned money goes to help poor people. I would do that voluntarily (and in fact, did that just today).

My issue here is that rich people are the ones who take my money while insisting that it's going to help the poor.

I already help the poor when I can. I don't need a-hole politicians taking a cut of my earnings with warm promises of it being used for good. I know directly where and who I handed my money to.

To the guy on a motorized cart who needed $2 to buy milk.

To the guy who was kicked out of his assisted living home because one of the residents stabbed and killed another resident, thereby deeming the entire complex a crime scene and leading to him being turned to the streets. There weren't enough facilities available to accommodate him. So now he's on the streets, homeless and being told that, in order to get govt assistance, he needs to develop a drug addiction, which he (rightfully) refuses to do.

So when the govt takes a portion of my paycheck 'prima facie' with reason given saying that it is for the betterment of society, forgive me for being doubtful.

I do use a portion of my earned money to help people, and I know it for a fact because I do it myself regularly.

I do NOT, however, know for a fact that rich a-holes from within the government will use that appropriated money to better my community and those within it that continue to struggle.

According to the very image presented, an inordinately justifiable amount of money collected from our paychecks is going to cushion large corporation's interests.

So, the issue you truly have is not what I choose to do with my own money. But rather, with how the government chooses how that confiscated money is allocated. Is this an accurate summary?

[tenok]

The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.

And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.

1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)

2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)

3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.

So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)

Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!

[imgonnagetyoubacktv]

my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and

[science-lings]

idk if I'm going to ever write for it so I'm gonna put it here, my reborn Yatagarasu AU. I guess if I get a little encouragement I'll want to write it more but I have to get some thoughts out or I will explode.

It started because I thought Beanix and Kay should meet and do crimes together. I think they should fight corruption and be overly dramatic while annoying Edgeworth. I mean, think about it, in the first game, Phoenix's whole thing was exposing notorious blackmailers and corrupted officials and generally being unafraid of facing mob families when everyone else is kinda scared to take any action.

before the cut to so much rambling, I need to get one question out of the way so...

anyway, lore below, I just didn't want to put that under the cut where no one will read far enough to see it lol

That and he also has experience with eccentric thieves. Also, they're both named after mythical birds and named specifically to be silly with their dialogue ('Mr. Wright, right?' "Kay 'kay?'). I also just want a reason for them to pose as father and daughter and be able to pull it off perfectly.

Now for actual plot stuff, I am of the opinion that Phoenix has acquired some weird-ass skills that he uses in weird-ass ways, I mean in canon he has a talent for bluffing and he uses it to absolutely dominate at poker. So I'm thinking this guy, who hasn't risked his life in over a year, fresh out of leads to fight the case with his disbarment, needs enrichment. This comes in the form of Kay investigating him out of interest as his role of 'that man' and discovering that he's pretty neat actually. She looks at his case files and finds him silly enough to recruit for a new project.

The re-emergence of the Yatagarasu is directly correlated to the dark age of the law and the increasing corruption practically everywhere. The law makers and law keepers of Japalifornia ignore the truth for their own self interest and that is Not Good. Kay recruits Ema, who is interning at the police department and on her way to becoming a detective turned forensic investigator. She is also stem girl extraordinaire who wants to use her tech for good and not to help the police. Funded by Franziska (because the best use of Manfred's fuck you money is actively fighting the corruption he was a part of) the Yatagarasu plan to expose as much corporate and legal filth as possible. Because to build a new legal system, the other one must be destroyed a bit.

In comes Phoenix, who through past cases and his work at the Borsht Bowl, just happens to have a pretty good amount of criminal connections. He's inconspicuous, already kind of undercover, and he knows how to get people to talk. He's disillusioned with the law and settled into a character that requires him to convincingly act at all times. Also his daughter is a magician and I think it would be really funny for him to learn a little sleight of hand and how to use throwing knives only for him to turn around and use those skills for Crime.

In return for info and his help with the Yatagarasu project, Phoenix gets more assistance in his investigation into Kristoph, which makes it easier to keep him and Trucy safe. Also in this AU Kristoph is worse and more invasive and more willing to cause problems if he catches Phoenix learning too much. Every one of their shared dinners consists of Kris poisoning Phoenix's wine and them switching it until they're both confused and Phoenix ends up drinking it but survives anyway.

Another part of this AU that I would want to touch upon would be Phoenix's reputation outside of being a fallen famous lawyer. I think that his work getting multiple mob members, prosecutors, a police chief, and generally terrifyingly powerful people incarcerated would get him noticed by people. I like to think that he's trying his best to look pathetic and depressed but the whispers around him make him sound kind of terrifying and it's only because of that that he feels secure enough to take Trucy along with him to the bowl for poker matches. He also is trying to learn her perceiving power, which he can't do but he does get really good at silently communicating with Trucy to the point that they become a kind of terrifying duo.

I just... weird girl crime group (Maya is not allowed, she'll just get falsely accused of murder again)

[obstinatecondolement]

Try though I may not to get invested in people who are Perfect Strangers to me just because they have an affable online persona, I do find myself very endeared to Brandon Sanderson. I have read none of his books, but I think his YouTube videos are very enjoyable and I am much relieved that he has both vocally affirmed his support of LGBTQ+ people in general, and trans people specifically, and has apologised (in a way that seems very sincere and earnest to me) for clumsy and unintentionally homophobic things he has said in the past. Which is, like, more than can be said of some fantasy authors.